#and i know it was the dramamine because the one time i took it is the only time i was sick from traveling in an rv | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-queen-of-hell-666 · 1 month ago

Text

Babymoon

Kinktober 2024 - Day 25

Pairing: Dad!Steve Rogers x Mom!Pregnant!Fem!Reader

Kink: Lactation

Word Count: 1100+

Summary: Tony pays for you and Steve to get away before you two have a new baby on your hands.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (unprotected vaginal sex, vaginal sex, creampie, riding, vaginal fingering, nipple play, lactation kink, milk drinking, soft sex, slow sex, slight pregnancy kink), soft!Steve, tooth-rotting fluff, established relationship

a/n: Here is Day 25! It's a soft one but I enjoyed it! I hope you all do too!

Banners by @vase-of-lilies

Sam had taken the kids for the night, so you and Steve could go on a weekend long vacation before your baby girl arrives. You two were just going up to a cabin in upstate New York that Tony paid for because he knew that you two needed some time away. You two drove in comfortable silence through the hills of upstate, you only getting nauseated once or twice during some of the rougher roads. Steve had packed your bag with water, lollipops, some crackers, and a bottle of dramamine. You were grateful that he knew what you needed before you did and that he was in tuned with your needs. He had a hand on your swollen belly the entire ride, only taking it off to sip his drink from the cup holder.

You two finally got to the cabin and he parked in the driveway before getting out, running over and opening the door for you. He helped you out of the car and took your bag from the passenger’s seat and led you towards the cabin, “You do know that I can walk, right?” You asked as he rested a warm hand on your lower back.

Steve chuckled and kissed your head, opening the front door for you two. “I know, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

You rolled your eyes at him and you walked over to the couch, and he helped you sit down. “Dork.” You giggled and grabbed your water bottle from the side pocket of your bag and took a sip.

He chuckled and kissed your cheek, “Wait here. I’ll go grab the bags from the car.” He walked out of the cabin and grabbed your bags from the trunk. He came back in after locking up the car and the cabin. He set them down by the bed in the middle of the cabin. It was across from the fireplace, with the plush couch pushed against the wall underneath the window. The kitchen and dining room were right beside the door and the bathroom was beside the bed. It was cozy and modern, you almost wanted to move in.

Later that night after dinner, you and Steve were tucked into bed. He had made you, your favorite turkey chili with crackers, and he had provided you with Tums before you even had to ask for them. You laid against Steve’s bare chest as his hands rubbed your swollen belly softly, you were dozing off until you felt his warm hands move up to your sore nipples. You let out a soft gasp at his touch to your sensitive buds, you were already breastfeeding your youngest and with the baby on the way, your nipples were leaky and sore as ever. His touch shots bolts of pleasure and slight pain up your spine.

“Steve, mm, we can’t. We might wake the-” You stopped your sentence, realizing that you two were alone for the first time in years. You turned to him with a knowing smile and he smirked and wrapped his arms around your hips and pulled you into his bare lap. “We don’t have to be quiet.” You giggled and cupped his face and yanked him down to kiss you passionately.

He groaned against your lips as you tugged him closer by his hair, your fingers tugging on his blonde locks. “I should’ve taken you on a vacation sooner.” He chuckled as you pulled away with puffy lips and a lustful look in your eyes.

You smirked at him and ran your fingers through his hair, “You should’ve. Stark had only been offering since Sarah came along.” You giggled and he rolled his eyes playfully at you.

“Wanted to spend all of my time with her then James came around and it was never the right time.” He shrugged and you nodded in understanding and he leaned down and took your leaking nipple into his warm mouth. You moaned at the warmth of his lips wrapping around your peaked nipple, he moaned as he tasted your sweet milk fill his mouth. He swallowed each drop and you moaned at the relief it gave you as the soreness began to give way with each suck. His large hand moved down to your bare core and he slid two fingers into your soaked cunt. He stroked along your walls slowly, curling them against your walls, aiming to hit that sweet spot deep inside of you.

You moaned louder as he thrusted his fingers in and out slowly, “F-fuck, it’s been too long.” You moaned, feeling sensitive due to your pregnancy. It only took him speeding up his fingers and giving a hard suck on your nipples to push you over the edge. You cried out, gripping his shoulders tight as you shook with your orgasm, your thighs feeling weak as he stroked you through your orgasm.

“Good girl. You’re always so good for me.” He mumbled against your temple as he pressed a soft kiss to your skin. He slowly pulled his fingers out of you, taking them into his mouth, moaning at your taste as it coats his tongue. He reached down to line his cock up to your hole and help you slowly sink down on his length. You gasped and moaned as he filled you up, “Fuck, you’re tight and wet for me, doll. You feel so perfect.” He groaned and rested his forehead against yours.

You whined softly as he leaned back down and took a nipple into his mouth, he suckled on your breast as he slowly moved your hips up and down on his throbbing length. You felt your orgasm coming on quicker with each thrust of his cock. He drank from your nipple greedily, making your walls quiver around him with each suck. You yanked him closer to your chest, your fingers tangled in his hair as you felt the coil snap in your belly. You came gushing around his cock, he groaned and grunted as he pulled you flush against his lap as he hit his orgasm. His tip shot his hot cum inside of you, painting your walls white with his seed. You two slumped against each other and he pulled off your nipple and kissed your lips passionately.

He cleaned you two up after a little bit and he helped you back into bed. He laid behind you after shutting the lights off with the dim glow of the fireplace lighting up the room. He nuzzled into your neck as his arms wrapped around your swollen belly, rubbing your belly with one hand. You smiled softly and pressed yourself flush against his chest, and you two dozed off, without the worry of waking up to a screaming baby. You two could just enjoy each other that night.

#fanfic #fanfiction #fandom #kinktober #marvel #marvel fic #marvel fandom #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x you #steve rogers

176 notes · View notes

just-a-girl-who-wrytes · 1 year ago

Text

Part 8 ☺️

Several months went by and the team celebrated Street and Chris’ engagement, as well as Luca finding out he was going to be a dad. They had a celebratory dinner over the weekend, one at which Nikki had drank a little more than she cared to admit. Deacon took her home that night, helped her into one of his t-shirts and a pair of his underwear before helping his girlfriend into bed and climbing in with her. The next morning, Nikki woke up hungover as hell. Everything hurt - her head, her stomach, her joints. She groaned. David walked in and chuckled.

“How do you hang with this old man,” he waved his hands from shoulders to waist with a bottle of gatorade in one hand and Tylenol in the other. “But you can’t hang with some bitch booze?”

Nikki buried her face in the pillow. “Because it’s bitch booze. You never can tell how much is too much until it’s too late.”

Nikki attempted to sit up, but was unsuccessful without the muscular torso of her lover’s body to help steady her. “I have to pee.” She mumbled.

Deacon laughed again, “All of the things you deal with and handle like the bad ass woman you are on a regular basis and some liquor is what takes you out.”

“Nice save, Kay.” Nikki mumbled, not bothering to look up at him as he guided her to the bathroom. David helped Nikki to the toilet and steadied her as she pulled his underwear off of her waist and sat down. He stepped away and she heard a cabinet open and close but paid it no mind.

“Here, baby, you need this.”

Nikki looked up to see David handing her a maxi pad and then looked down to see blood stained boxers.

“Wha-? Fuck meee.”

“When you won’t vomit all over me,” Deacon chuckled.

“No, baby. I haven’t had a period in yearssss why the hell am I having one now?!”

“Honey, I have no idea, but I can make it better with snuggles and a lazy day.” He winked at her.

Nikki groaned and took a clean pair of her underwear from David. Once she was cleaned up and medicated, she joined Deacon on the couch for a lazy day. Despite taking tylenol and motrin and drinking gatorade, she couldn’t help shake the nausea that she had. She napped on and off in Deacon’s arms but felt substantially worse every time she moved and the cramping in her stomach was the worst she could remember having. By the time bedtime rolled around, she didn’t feel any better and again leaned on David to make it back to the bed.

Nikki was bed bound for the following few days and even had to call out of work. She was cursing her uterus for making her feel so bad. This was punishment for all of the time she hadn’t had a period.

Deacon was at work just over a week later, talking to Hondo about his girlfriend and her symptoms.

“You think she’s pregnant?”

Deacon paused. “Of course that hadn’t crossed my mind. Man, she has been feeling bad and cramping and bleeding. We both have just thought she either had the flu or her period was whooping her ass.”

Hondo smirked, “Ya know pregnancy can mimic periods sometimes. It happened to my sister. It’s worth a thought, brother.”

After work, Deacon stopped to pick up chinese for supper. some dramamine to help with Nikki’s nausea, as well as a box of pregnancy tests. When he arrived home, he found her asleep on the couch. He kissed her forehead and made a pitcher of sweet tea for whenever she was ready to eat. After putting the tea in the fridge, he stopped and leaned on the counter, staring at her as she slept.

What if she really is pregnant… he thought. He thought about Nikki being the one to carry his baby and he started to get turned on. She would make such a wonderful mother. And it was all Deacon could do to stop himself from jumping her right then and there as he dreamed about how pregnancy would change her body - her hips, her boobs - how all of it would be because of him. It would be his little life she carried that they made together.

He originally planned on just letting her sleep and giving them to her when she woke up, but as he thought about their future and the woman he loved carrying the baby he put in her, he couldn’t stop himself. He walked over and sat down on the edge of the couch next to her and woke her up.

The color was still gone from her face and she still looked like she didn’t feel good.

“Baby, I brought supper home. I’ve also got some nausea meds for you and something else I need you to take….”

“Something else?” Nikki gave him a puzzled look as he brushed her hair away from her face.

“I was talking to Hondo at work about how you had been sick and your period was weird,” Nikki chuckled. There was no conversation or detail too personal for 20-David to share. She had never actually asked, but she was positive Hondo at the very least had heard about the first time they had sex together.

“He said taking one of these might be a good idea.” Deacon handed her the box of pregnancy tests.

Nikki took the box from him.

“If you’re not pregnant, we can get you into the doc to see why you’re still sick.”

“And if I am?”

Nikki watched as a smile spread across Deacon’s face, “Even better.”

Deacon stood up and helped Nikki off the couch and followed her to the bathroom.

He leaned against the counter with his arms folded across his belly, watching as Nikki peed on the stick.

“Who would have thought a man would sit and watch me pee and still love me…”

Deacon laughed, “What is it you used to tell me when I was helpless and getting bathed like a baby?”

“We’re all human and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” the couple said in unison.

Nikki stood up, washed her hands and stepped in front of Deacon. She wrapped her arms around his torso and laid her head on his chest. She relaxed in his embrace as he wrapped his arms around her.

The couple stood there in silence.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Nikki asked, never removing her head from his chest.

“It would be so amazing to know that the woman I love is pregnant with the baby I put in her.” Deacon groaned sensually, “To be able to watch you carry our baby, watch your belly grow, feel our baby move…”

Nikki felt herself falling even more in love with Deacon and she wasn’t sure how that was even possible.

“You’ve asked me all of these questions,” Deacon said as he pulled her off of him and cradled her neck with a hand on either side under her jaw, “But how will you feel if it’s positive?”

Deacon could see Nikki searching for words.

“I hadn’t thought about it, David. I mean if so, this is a complete 180 from when I was pregnant with ‘Kota. Hell, you are a complete 180 from my ex-husband. But you don’t seem scared.”

“Why would I be?”

“Well…” Nikki had a hard time figuring out how to piece words together. She never thought about it. If he loved her like he said he did - and she had no doubt about his love for her, there really wasn’t a reason to be scared. She breathed out a laugh, “I don’t know, Deac, I guess just some unresolved subconscious fear I have - the man I’m pregnant by not being supportive… but rationally, I know I have zero reason to be scared now.”

By now, Deacon had reached over and grabbed the test off of the counter and read it.

He spoke as he looked up at Nikki from the test, “I’m glad we’re on the same page… Mama.” Deacon smiled, his face full of nothing but love.

“What?” Nikki said breathlessly as she took the test from him.

Pregnant

She suddenly sobbed, falling into Deacon’s embrace, “Oh, David!”

Deacon wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck.

“We’re having a baby, sweetheart!” He said.

Nikki could do nothing except cry in David’s arms. She was exudingly happy, but her love life had been so nonexistent before David that she hadn’t given any thought to having children again - ever…. Much less having children with someone who loved her and took care of her. She could do nothing but cry for the sweet baby she lost and cry for the new baby she now had.

“I know this baby is handpicked for you - for us by Dakota.” Deacon said to her.

20 notes · View notes

angel-0f-verdun · 1 year ago

Text

1 Emergencies

My alarm blared in my ears the horrifying beep, beep, beep of the device made me angry. I slammed the device with my palm and sighed, sitting up in bed and turning on the light. I let my eyes adjust to the brightness that flooded the room. I listened intently to the noises around me. The jets from the day shift were landing and it was our time to shine. The swaying of the ship used to make me nauseous, I was not used to its incessant movement. I tried so hard to get used to the movements as my job had moved me onto this infernal boat. But each day it felt as if I was going to puke if I was on it too long. That's why I enjoyed the air, the more time in it, the less time I spent feeling sick to my stomach. Of course, Dramamine helped, but I couldn't use that when I was flying, which was just about every day. The medical specifications for pilots were stringent so I dealt with the issues that being on this death trap gave me. I was one of few females that had ever made the attempt to the Navy. I graduated from the Naval Academy as a top aviator and continued my time flying on these stupid ships when I was on assignment. When I wasn't, I was happily teaching young students about airplanes and helping them earn their private pilot licenses. Of course, higher command hated the idea that women were on their precious boat. But I had many people vouching for me and my Radar Intercept Officer (RIO). Her name was Crystal Harris, but everyone just called her "Doe" It was her call sign, every pilot and RIO had one. It was the easier version of our own names that was granted to us by other pilots and command. She had gained this name because she had doe eyes and she had a lovely personality. I looked over to my flight suit which hung on my closet door, to the left of my bed, and sighed happily.

I wasn't due in the hangar until 6 pm, and it was just around 4 pm currently. I needed to get out into the air and start my pre-flight check before Crystal got there. I rolled out of my comfy bed and walked over to the closet door, shrugging into my flight suit, I normally wore a white shirt and shorts underneath my pressure suit and the canvas suit. It was a lot to wear, and I knew that these clothes would be disgusting by the time I was done flying today. I threw my hair into a Navy-regulated neat bun, put on my boots lacing them up tightly, and put my canvas suit above them, blousing them caringly. I opened the door to a bustling corridor, everyone was ready for dinner as they were all heading to the mess hall on the ship. I slowly made my way to the flight deck. Bumping into a few friendly faces and smiling at them as I went. I figured I would get my briefing from the day shift pilots, as they landed. But as I arrived on the deck I was pointed towards the Air Traffic Control Tower by all personnel I could see. A truck pulled over to me and I jogged over towards it.

"What's happening?!" I asked the man who pulled up to me.

"I'm not sure, I was told when you arrived to bring you to control. Your aircraft has already been pre-flighted by another pilot." The guy said. I nodded, it must be bad if they needed me, generally, they wouldn't send me out unless completely necessary. The man drove me over to the other side of the runway, dropping me at the elevator for the tower. I thanked him as he drove off, I pushed the button to the elevator which opened immediately, and pushed the down arrow once I got inside, before the doors closed I saw Crystal smiling as she jumped in with me.

"You know what's going on?" She asked me as she took off her aviator sunglasses.

"No, mum's the word around here, must be a situation with day shift," I told her, as we rode down together, as the door opened we walked down the corridor and to the right. In here were radar operations and en route controllers. Which is exactly as it sounds, these were who handled communications when you were in the air. Tower controllers were those who dealt with aircraft when you were in the range of the ship ready to take off or land. I saw Commander Jardian also known as 'Stinger' was down here with one of the controllers. I listened to the radio before making myself known.

"He's got missile lock on me, do I have permission to fire?" I heard Cougar ask.

"Do not fire until fired upon," Stinger replied to the nervous Cougar. It must have been his first time being engaged.

"Sir, you requested our presence?" I stood holding my hand to my forehead in a salute to our commander, he nodded, letting me know that he had received my appreciation. I dropped my hand back to my side. His eyes moved up towards both Crystal and me, away from the radar screen he had been watching.

"Yes, Maeve, I did. I'm thinking I'm going to need you in the air in about 10 minutes. Normally, I'd put another crew on it, but your shifts are about to start anyway. It's not worth paying another crew overtime." He told me. I nodded,

"Yes sir, what's the situation?" I asked, I had preliminary knowledge of it already from listening to the radio but decided that this wasn't enough.

"I have Maverick, Goose, Cougar, and Merlin in the air right now, looks like they've run into a couple MiG-28's. If this goes to shit, I'm going to need you in the air immediately to bring him home."

"Cougar your tail is clear, MiG 1 has bugged out." I heard Maverick's voice on the radio.

"Cougar, this is Maverick. We've had enough fun for one day, don't you think? I'm getting a little low on fuel, so we're heading home. We'll see you on deck." Pete chided him again, something wasn't right. Cougar wasn't talking and I knew that could only mean one thing, this interaction had shaken him to his core.

"Cougar, we're running low on gas, we gotta get out of here... We're on vapor Cougar, let's do it... Cougar, come on Cougar. Let's take it back to the ship, man. Come on Cougar" I heard Merlin his RIO say. He was starting to lose his cool with Cougar too.

"Get him on deck as soon as possible. He's gotta be low on fuel. You two get outside and get flying, I need to get Maverick and Goose back on the ship, hopefully, they'll listen this time." Stinger told the controller and us.

"Yes sir, gladly sir," I told him, briskly walking with Crystal at my side down to the lockers to grab my flight bag and helmet. I walked out to my beautiful F-14 Tomcat. That had my name painted just underneath the canopy, Lt. Maeve "Reaper" Ford. The canopy was already open ready for us to jump in. I stepped up on the ladder and worked my way up to the cockpit sliding in and starting the before-start checklist as Crystal got in securing her helmet and doing her checklists as well. I went through my flow, shut the canopy, and started the engine, waiting for the clearance to take off. I watched the ground crew ready the catapults connecting the tow bar to our gear, and the gear to the shuttle. The crew then lifted the blast deflector and we were ready. I waited until we heard the clearance, just needed to wait until the crew was clear of our take-off zone.

"Reaper, you're cleared for take-off, wind 175 at 12." I heard ATC come through my headset. I latched the strap for my helmet and took a breath of oxygen before replying.

"Cleared for take-off, wind 175 at 12. Thank you." I replied as I pushed the throttles into the full position and waited for the catapults to send us on our way. Immediately, we were rushing through the air and I used my rudders to keep us on the center line. I watched my knots and waited until I saw Vx speed, which was for our best angle of climb to get off the ground and gain altitude quickly in a shorter horizontal distance.

"Reaper, fly heading 090, you should be seeing Maverick off your left wing any moment now. Approximately 150 miles to closure." ATC riddled off in my ear.

"090, 150 miles out, will advise when in sight," I told control.

"I have radar contact, you should be seeing them in a couple of seconds," Doe told me from the back seat. I nodded, watching out the window, pulling back the throttles to cruising speed.

"Ladies, fancy seeing you here." I heard Maverick in my ears, I looked to my left seeing him going in for landing.

"Traffic in sight, Mustang. Maverick, Goose how lucky we are to see you. Land that plane we'll rescue your buddy." I told him, mocking his attitude. Maverick was an egotistical bastard at times, but well I did enjoy his company when he wasn't trying to impress everyone that walked. I hoped dearly that it would fade with age, but who knows military men always had some sort of ego on them. Especially, Mavericks type.

"Cougar, we have got to land this thing, we are way low on gas. Do you understand me? You all right man?" I heard Merlin tell his pilot.

"Hang on boys we're closing in on you, we have you on our radar. We'll be there soon." Doe told Merlin and Cougar reassuring them that we were going to help them in.

"Maverick, you're at three-quarters of a mile, call the ball." I heard ATC tell him.

"Roger, Maverick has the ball." I heard my fellow pilot say.

"Cougar, it's time to land. Let's do it." Merlin yelled at his pilot. He was completely shaken, it was hard to get out of these types of emotions. That's why when it happens you have to be on your feet and shove the feeling away when you're piloting a damn rocket with wings.

"Merlin, Cougar, it's Reaper, we're right here, coming up on your left side. We're going to do this together, okay?"

"Reaper, we got a little problem up here. That MiG really screwed him up. I don't think he can make it back." I watched Merlin in the backseat glance towards Cougar who was staring at us.

"It's okay, Cougar, take a deep breath with me all right?" I breathed in and out slowly, watching him do the same. I hoped this would kick-start his brain.

"Just stay on my wing, and we'll take you all the way in, okay? It'll be easy, then you can go get some cake in the mess hall with the rest of the crew." I told him.

"What kind?" Merlin pipped up from behind Cougar. I rolled my eyes at him and he chuckled dryly. I turned us around at a 30-degree bank, heading back towards the ship.

"Beautiful, see this is a walk in the park, buddy," I told him encouragingly. Noticing his altitude fading, he needed to be higher when we saw the ship his glide path would be off.

"You're a bit low Cougar, can you pull up on the stick for me, very gently? Straighten out when I say." I watched as the plane reacted to his movements. He was almost perfect,

"All right, straighten out. That was lovely, now let's smoothly descend, look for a descent rate of about 400 feet per second." He did as I said a bit late but it was working, he was going to land this fucker.

"Cougar, you're on glide path, just keep that descent coming, three-quarters of a mile. Call the ball." ATC told him to follow my lead, trying to make sure they didn't upset him.

"Roger, ball." I heard him say through the mic. I decreased my own speed and watched him all the way to the flight deck. He was okay, it was a shaky landing, but hey, a good landing is one you can walk away from. I smiled,

"Great job Reaper and Doe." I heard the commander through my headset.

"Thank you, sir. We both replied to him.

"We'll see you in a bit, Mustang, we'll be departing to the South for recon and awaiting our counterpart," I told ATC happy we were able to help Cougar to the deck.

"Roger, Reaper, we'll send them your way." I heard them acknowledge through my headset.

I watched as the darkness started to surround the plane, the last bits of daylight fleeting. I flew calmly, not much happened at night which is why I was all right with being put on a completely opposite schedule, I sighed as I looked at the stars above us. I maneuvered us above the clouds at around 12,000 ft to get a clear look. It was the most soothing atmosphere to be in and I knew Doe felt the same. We had perfected our nightly routine, watching for bogeys and basking in the silence of the night. There were always new horizons to take, but I was completely at peace here, in the air listening to my own engine. I smiled as the time passed slowly, after about 30 minutes of relaxing and waiting for our partners to arrive at our position, I looked to Crystal.

"You ready to have some fun?" I asked her.

"Always." She replied. Immediately, I started to pull G-forces and maneuver the plane in nearly impossible ways. This was our heaven.

Next Chapter

20 notes · View notes

astramthetaprime · 3 months ago

Text

The Balance of a Hair

On August 12th, I woke up at 5 AM and lay there a few moments before I smelled the most horrible nauseating smell.

A moment later my mind shorted out and for at least a couple minutes I lay there not able to fit thoughts together, not even enough to know what was going on around me -- not my dog beside me, the ceiling over my head, the blanket across my chest.

It passed after a couple minutes.

And I got up to start my day an hour earlier than usual since there was no way I could get back to sleep.

This has been happening since about 2021 or 2022. It's inconvenient since it usually happens several times over the course of a day, but happens in no discernible pattern over the course of months. It doesn't seem to cause any permanent damage, has no cause I've been able to determine. Just the horrible vomit-inducing smell and dissociative episode, lasts a couple minutes, might make me almost throw up, might make me kind of shaky after two or three times in a day. But then it's gone and I go on with my life.

I hadn't been paying much attention, because it did no lasting harm.

But now, I'm working outside of the house and having to drive to work five days a week. And on the 12th, it happened while I was driving on one of the busiest roads in my city, surrounded by early morning rush hour traffic.

I'm all right. I didn't hit anyone. But the very real possibility that I could have easily killed myself or someone else crossed a line and once I got to work I called my doctor to make an appointment.

They managed to schedule me fairly quickly and I went in this past week. I'd written down all I could piece together about the incidents and gave it to my NP.

She completely ignored the parts where I dissociated in the middle of rush hour traffic, claimed it was just acid reflux, and prescribed Pepcid for it.

Then, out of left field, she wrote a referral for an ADHD assessment and a prescription for Adderall, when I had said nothing about that and hadn't asked for it.

She just ... threw an addictive stimulant at me. Because, y'know, nothing bad ever comes of easy access to addictive psychoactive stimulant drugs. ( /sarcasm )

Throughout my life, I've avoided drugs at all costs whenever I could. Some drugs are beneficial, I'm on three without which I would be dead. But for several years in my 20s I was on Paxil, an SSRI anti-depressant. They tell you it's non-addictive. The hell it isn't. You build up a tolerance for it and have to keep upping the dosage to get the same effect. And God help you if you're forced to give it up cold turkey. Ask me how I know.

(Pro tip, if you have to give up Paxil cold turkey, it makes your head spin like a top, to the point of vomiting. Keep a supply of motion sickness meds at hand -- Dramamine -- and keep on it until you're clean of the Paxil. You're welcome.)

Beyond this, it is strongly implied now that I'm considered to have both ADHD and Autism. I didn't come to the ADHD conclusion myself. I'm still really coming to terms with being Autistic. But now, ADHD and substances I am not sanguine about allowing into my body. It's a matter of agency, of bodily autonomy. I didn't consent to this, really. I was told out of the blue that I would be assessed for ADHD when I hadn't asked for that and hadn't been prepared for it.

Another pit opened beneath me, and I don't know who I am anymore.

I can't see by this new light.

The edit for my manuscript came back on Monday, it's Friday, I haven't even been able to open the file to start on it. $1600 for that edit, I haven't even been able to open the file.

But by God two nights ago I did a solid two hours on Ember Star because I took an Adderall at noon and nine hours later I was still going strong.

Am I being played by my NP because she has a quota to fill? She's short on her Adderall scripts this month and there's crazy old Aunty Proton, Autistic as fuck, we'll just slap down that referral and a script and hey we're up by one. Latest statistics say 70% of Autistics also qualify as ADHD, she probably is, we'll just get the cart before the horse and throw drugs at a problem that hasn't even been diagnosed yet.

No one seems to see me here, losing all my concept of who I am.

There's probably a drug for that too.

youtube

#actually autistic #autism #allaboardtheangstexpress #adhd #AuDHD #Youtube

2 notes · View notes

z45capp · 4 months ago

Text

July 26 - Yilan, Taipei, Gaoxiong, Taitung

Travel day! Today we spent the day traveling from Yilan to Taidong. On the train ride to Taipei (our first stop) Iris told us that the reason we are not going directly from Yilan is because Typhoon Gaemi ripped up the train tracks and highways. It makes better sense now that I know the reason we are taking a tour of the country. The train ride from Yilan to Taibei is 1.5 hours, not awful, but still a little bit long. At least I have some time to work on my blog and other administrative tasks. I am super thankful that I took a Dramamine, however, the jostling isn’t the worst, but I would not be doing as well if I had not taken it. I’m fighting the drowsiness, I could easily fall asleep on this train, but I would rather not so I could keep working and maintain my current sleep schedule.

We arrived in Taibei around 12 noon, with around 40 minutes for lunch before getting on the high speed rail to Gaoxiong at 1. Because of the short time, we just stayed in the station for lunch. I got a hot dog and bun for the main meal and then went to a bakery for some snacks for the train. The high speed rail wasn’t too bad, I thought it was going to trigger motion sickness, but I ended up being fine. On the HSR, I ended up closing my eyes for a little bit, went in and out of sleep for a bit, before nearly falling asleep right before our station.

Now, a three hour bus ride to our hotel is usually 2 hours and 40 minutes but with weather and traffic, and stopping to pick up dinner, it is a little bit longer. I ended up having the strawberry bread I got from the bakery, and it was really soft and just the right level of sweetness. The chocolate buns I got were not as good as the strawberry one, and I think La Maison du Denmark still has the best chocolate buns. But they do make the perfect bus snack. On our bus ride we saw the Taiwan Strait, the water was super choppy with all the weather, but the view was still nice and much different than the Jersey Shore at home. Before stopping at the hotel, we stopped off at a supermarket and 7-11 to get dinner and some snacks, dinner of champions, obviously. Our driver also got us all custard apples! That was so sweet of him and the fruit honestly is not that bad, the apples are very sweet and tender. We got to the hotel pretty late, so we unpacked what we needed;I started some laundry, finished this blog post, and will go to bed as soon as my laundry is done. Tomorrow, we start back with our regular schedule!

3 notes · View notes

sillyflipping · 1 year ago

Text

DXM 180mg hbr + weed trip report

8:10 PM: packed a bowl and smoked it. around this time, also hit the pen a few times, and a couple hits of nic vape

10:30 PM: Took 180mg DXM hbr in the form of 12 gelcaps, 15mg each. They were a generic store pharmacy brand of gelcaps, but I made sure to get the kind that contained only dxm and no other active ingredients. If you’re going to do dxm, don’t do it if there’s acetamenophin or guafinesin in whatever you’re taking because it can actually kill you, and it is not pleasant to OD on acetamenophin. Before taking the dxm I took one pill of otc dramamine to combat any nausea. The amount I took should get me to a high first plat, *maybe* a low second plat, or at least so says the dosage calculators. I’ve not done much Hbr in my past, I usually used to do freebase pills and occasionally poli (Delysm). I hadn’t done dxm in over a year now, I know it caused me a bunch of problems in my past, but for some reason lately this past week I’d just been craving it for some reason. Honestly in the past few days I’d just been fiending to get fucked up. And now, I’ve finally done it, i’ve taken my first-second plat dose and I’m waiting for it to kick in. I will try and update every hour. Also note I’ve never combined dxm and weed before, so will see if it’s any different. Also If I end up falling asleep will continue to update in the morning or whenever I wake up.

11:30 PM: Don’t notice any signifigant effects. Bit of a headache. Am lying in bed was watching some youtube videos.

12:00 AM head pounding a bit but it’s not intese pain. Just kind of a headache a bit dizzy/disoreinted bit spinny rooms spinny

12:40 AM head hurts, dizzy. This isn’t like the previous times i’ve done dxm, it’s not kickin in as hard, though to be fair I used to do freebase at higher doses and at that time I was also on abilify and lithium. Gonna try and lie down close my eyes cuz my head hurts

3am: wakw up tripping can barely type tbis. CEV’s and body heavy, dizzy visual snow room spinning. mild nausea. Feel like am on low second plat Obviously no ones awake cuz its 3am and idk

3:22 AM: I realize i mustve slept thru the peak of the trip as it’s 3am. I don’t mnow if i ever slept or if ive just been laying here in my own head my thoughts are blunted and despite the dozziness nausea and weird statitc snow visuals, it’s working to makw me not fee emotions. still tripping. hard to type

I cant belive i used to be such a dexhead that id go places like id go grocery shopping w frens back in college while off the dxm. Cant belsiwv it. This shit sucks theres way better drugs oit there this aint it

Dont really feel that cold but am shaking shivering

4am: texted a friend who was up at this hour, probably not about anytning super important. im still in the dextroverse but i think maybe im slowly comin down. There’s still visual snow and a jelly-like state about the air and atmosphere around me. I took like a 2nd plat dose and I’ll edit this trip report for more coherency and grammar once am sober

Dxm is bad trips not mentally. Mentally its pretty good but the body high is awful. Dizy and nausea spinning

4:23am: read some online calvin and hobbes comics. i never read those as a kid before but i feel like i can really understand them better somehow while trippin

4:43am: The comedown is the best part, honestly.

5AM: Still tripping, coming down. Compared to the overwhelming love and joy of a (good) mushroom trip, and compared to the depression and lonelieness i feel in my daily life, this is kinda true neutral. i feel nothing, numb. slighly optimistic tho. dont feel depressed atm. dont feel happy either.

5:40 AM: slowwwlllyyyyyy coming down. i try eating a couple spicy chips (carolina realer cheeto) to see if i can still taste, as sense of taste is often greatly diminished on dxm. The cheetos taste bland, and i feel the heat of the spice but no flavor. Sad.

6AM: less dizzy. head hurts less but still barely hurts a little bit just mildly annoying. The room stopped spinning. Am chillin on the couch, no one else awake yet

7AM: don’t think i’m still tripping, i feel a bit faded but it might be the afterglow or just general me being zooted. The sun is rising

1PM : pupils finally went back to normal size

Thoughts: Dxm fucking sucks. I felt a weird emotion that felt like how a chemical smells. Weird and numb and unable to feel anything. Awful body load. Why would you ever do dxm if you can do anything else. Nostalgia is a liar

#sillytripreports #trip report #dxm #dxm hbr #drugs #this was when i relapsed on dxm friday #after not doing it for over 2 years.#i had prior history of dxm abuse

6 notes · View notes

jet-bradley · 1 year ago

Text

going to share here what's probably my most controversial theme park opinion and by that i mean "i've been blocked by people over this before" but. thoosies need to stop using GP as an insult not just because that's inane, but because there is no meaningful difference between a coaster enthusiast and another theme park guest. you're both members of the general public.

like, the interests of a theme park guest who isn't a ride enthusiast are not actually that fundamentally different than the interests of guests who are. ride enthusiasts like to frame themselves like because they know a lot about theme parks, ride systems, etc, and maybe they prefer more thrilling rides, that they're fundamentally a different type of guest than every other guest in a theme park. but that's just... incorrect for a lot of reasons?

like if your argument is that a coaster enthusiast is going to prioritize thrill coasters over other rides at the park, that's fine and it makes sense for some things, like, famously, the defunctland queue line video's analysis of wait times. but i don't think the venn diagram between "people who will prioritize thrilling rides over doing anything else in the park" and "coaster enthusiast" is as circular as ride enthusiasts think it is. growing up i definitely didn't consider myself a thrill ride enthusiast but i still prioritized thrill coasters visiting theme parks. working at thrill rides i'd say most of the guests i meet there fall into this category. they don't really identify as ride enthusiasts but they wait in line for big rides because other rides aren't fun for them at all.

there also are plenty of coaster enthusiasts who can't really handle high G forces like you'd expect, and have to take dramamine/etc just to ride anything, but they're still enthusiasts because they like the design. the fact that there are people who call themselves ride enthusiasts while refusing to ride anything at a non-disney park should be evidence enough that coaster enthusiasts aren't the monolith people think they are.

but i think the real root of this belief is--and this is the worrying part for me as an ex-op, and an engineering student with connections working in the A&A industry--that these people genuinely believe that the act of trying to learn a lot about rides makes you on a level similar to an industry insider. which is absolutely batshit to me. and this manifests itself in a lot of ways. even the regulars at my theme park that i liked working with the most, ended up crossing a lot of work-life barriers with ride operators that made ops uncomfortable. sometimes they would expect us to tell them insider knowledge about the parks that we couldn't tell anyone, just because they were regulars.

a more concerning facet of this is how many regulars will go out of their way to like, FOLLOW RIDE OPS ON SOCIAL MEDIA. some RO's love this and love the clout they get from working at a theme park, but when you work at a minor-to-medium size park, guests finding and following you on your socials can be terrifying. one of my friends had a regular message him about something random on his story that the guest took as an innocent question, but the answer to that question had identifying information that a customer just shouldn't know about an employee at a place they happen to visit a lot.

(side note: instagram in particular is really annoying about this! ops follow each other, so a guest who only follows the ops whose pages are About Being Ride Ops, will ultimately be recommended pages by ops who aren't open about it on their profiles. the app will recommend you to follow friends of friends and if you go to the park enough, you can definitely pick out ops just from their profile photos... it's super freaky! especially since my park employs minors in rides!)

and honestly? it also applies to the mess that happened at iaapa expo last year, where specific ride enthusiasts/channels that cater to them started harassing AMUSEMENT RIDE CONTRACTORS. because these people dont understand exactly how removed the average theme park guest is from any decision being made at the DESIGN LEVEL of amusement rides. im gonna level with you, that's a problem - it's how you get NEW COASTERS that aren't accomodating for larger guests (hi velocicoaster!) but like, fundamentally, paying money to attend a HUGE conference for industry insiders and trying to argue with people on camera isn't "putting pressure on them" in the way that you think it is. these companies are completely divorced from the reality of the people they build rides for. i'm a huge fan of b&m coasters, but like, they haven't even built a single ride in their own country. if you knew jack shit about the industry you'd know it's gonna take more than like, yelling at some sales reps about the problem to fix anything.

and even then, they weren't even mad about anything that's current inside the industry, or even real problems like the ones i mentioned above! they were just upset because they didnt like some companies' coasters very much. what's the fucking point?

tl;dr the only effective difference between a coaster/ride enthusiast and the rest of the GP is what exactly they were more likely to verbally abuse me for back when i worked as a ride op. the ONLY other difference i can think of is general entitlement, but plenty of other subsets of guests are entitled (such as first-time parents of small children).

also if you've never worked anywhere in the industry and you're insulted by the idea of being GP, dont try to argue with me lol.

#theres a bigger point here too about how when the interests of people who work in the a&a (and also hospitality) clash with guests #thoosies are often some of the most entitled to vocalize against it because their entire hobby is going to places in the service industry #where people are paid to bend over backwards to any safe demand they might have

3 notes · View notes

gay-sin · 1 year ago

Text

my favorite pictures from my trip to delaware with ryan <3

i'm so grateful to have seen where ryan is from. it was a lovely place. we drove back home today and sang fast car by tracey chapman because we are lesbians and that is our culture. i didn't get nauseous for the first time in years while in a car because i took dramamine. it genuinely saved my life because my motion sickness is severe which is so lame. god bless dramamine. being a motion sick celiac disease little bitch does make me a tough traveling partner but ryan was very nice about it. ryan smoked a lot of cigarettes even though the air quality was poor. they showed me the spots they would smoke weed at when they were in high school, where they would drive to get away from their house during the pandemic, where they went to summer camp, where they became a person. their mom loves instagram but doesn't really know how it works. we took a selfie together before i left. she sent me home with gluten free snacks and a hug. i got sunburnt and talked to God at the beach. i went to one of the straightest bars i've ever been to and kissed a girl. i went to a bookstore in philly and decided that i am an anarchist. ryan and i bought new sneakers for the first time in years because we are adults now and need to have shoes without holes in them. it makes me happy to see how loved ryan is. love love love

#love #photography

5 notes · View notes

mesillusionssousecstasy · 1 year ago

Text

TSITP 2x08 - "Love Triangle" : Quotes (part. II)

"- It's been an hour, Jere. I don't think he's coming. (Belly) - He'll be here eventually. We have his car and his keys. (Jeremiah) - I didn't kiss you to get back at him. You do know that, right? (Belly) - Mm. (Jeremiah) - Excuse me. So you guys ready to go or not? (Conrad) - Didn't know if you were coming. (Jeremiah) - I promised Laurel I'd get Belly home. (Conrad) - Uh, here, you can drive. (Jeremiah) - No. No, I don't think I trust myself behind the wheel right now. I didn't get much sleep last night. Relax. (Conrad) (...) - Belly, you're gonna throw up if you keep reading that. (Conrad) - She's okay. (Jeremiah) - Well, I don't know if you knew this, but, um, Belly gets motion sickness when she reads in cars. Did you know that? (Conrad) - I did... (Jeremiah) - Oh, okay. (Conrad) - .... actually, yeah. But Belly took Dramamine earlier so that she could quiz you for your test. (Jeremiah) - Oh. My sweatshirt looks really good on you, Bells. (Conrad) - You can have it back. I got one earlier at Finch. (Belly) - Keep it. Cool, just... So you guys went to Finch, huh? That sounds like a nice little romantic excursion. (Conrad) - I just took her out to check out the school. I was gonna get you a Stanford one, 'cause I, you know. But, uh... Finch is fun. So tell me, how long has this thing been going on? All week? (Conrad) - No. (Jeremiah) - No. Okay. Oh, my God, so that was your first kiss. No, no, no, no. 'Cause, Bells, what did you say to me last summer on the beach? You said it was "a few times". "Few" usually means, what, three? Four? How many times was it last summer, guys? Aw, come on. Hmm. Discretion. I like that. That looks good on you, Jere, 'cause that's a new thing. That's a very new thing. (Conrad) - Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. (Jeremiah) - I mean, 'cause normally you can't shut the fuck up about how many people you hook up with. Because last year, I remember, it was seven. And that's not even including Belly. (Conrad) - Shut up! (Jeremiah) - Yeah, don't be a dick. (Belly) - I just have one more question. I'm sorry, guys. Belly, which one of us is a better kisser, me or him? (Conrad) - Leave her alone, Conrad. (Jeremiah) - The world may never know. (Conrad) -> Dick contest much.

#tsitp s2 #tsitp #tsitp 2x08 #tsitp season 2 #the summer i turned pretty #belly x jeremiah x conrad #tsitp quotes

2 notes · View notes

hag-o-hags · 2 years ago

Text

last weekend I went way too hard, and by Sunday night I was running on completely empty. not even partying hard, just. Ikea and redecorating and blah blah blah blah blah, in our mid-30s we ball.

all this week I've been OUT, batteries dead, zero energy, can't brain for shit, plus Mon/Tues/Wed I have a sore throat, so I'm hitting it with alka-seltzer the first couple days, till it starts to feel better and I'm just drinking SO much tea.

Wednesday the Dizzy starts. By Thursday, I can't sit up without everything spinning, and through Sunday, I have to be flat on my back. Getting up to feed the creachurs is exhausting, disorienting, and generally miserable, let alone feeding myself. Dramamine does nothing. Also, super bonus, my body fucking hurts because I can't move!

Surprise, this is exactly what getting over La Rona felt like, except I don't have La Rona.

Since November I've been sort of operating on yes, this is still LongTallShortFatCovid in the absence of enough data to officially diagnose it, so let's just behave like it's ME/CFS and see what happens. So, supine on the sofa on Sunday, I'm trying to figure out if Gentle Stretches™ are a good or bad idea with post-exertional malaise (the hallmark ME/CFS symptom that I am pretending I know I have for reasons of science). Because, again, I am stiff and sore and I fucking ache.

I know that unfortunately there's a LOT of anecdata and not much hard review around symptom relief, but I also know there's quite a lot of people trying to figure out what works. One person's dribbly candles and magic circles and stuffed crocodile hanging from the ceiling and 13 other chronically ill people chanting the universe's esoteric and black history leads to another person's 4 cc of mouse blood and three small sticks.

I found a blog with a good enough balance of science vs multiple personal experiences that it felt worth digging into -- also Gentle Stretches™ probably not gonna make PEM worse, thank god, sitting yoga ahoy. Some people found NSAIDs or steroids helped them to recover, but the really interesting one to me was a couple very very very small studies about Dextromethorphan Hbr, an OTC cough suppressant.

That tinged a tiny little ding in my foggy jelly brain, and I rooted around like a drunk opossum until I found the alka-seltzer box in the recycling. (Coulda looked this up online. But again, jelly brain.) The cough suppressant is DXM Hbr. And it's got aspirin. I'd been taking a little ibuprofen all week because Ache, so it wasn't necessarily the NSAID. But when I phased out the cough suppressant, that's when the dizzy started.

It's just a correlation, I've got n=1 here. I know that. But I took a standard dose of OTC cough syrup (DXM Hbr and guaifenesin -- no NSAIDs), and in a couple hours I could get up, and walk around the yard and water the plants, despite being kinda dizzy. I started some laundry. I kept taking it just according to the directions yesterday, and today, for the first time in an ENTIRE WEEK, I can think enough to write, I can go upstairs without needing to sit after, and I'm a little lightheaded but I'm not stumbling.

Placebo is a thing of course, but also, Dramamine couldn't touch this, even though it helped last time. Day by day it was getting worse, not better, and I was laying on the couch because I'd finally managed to finish a shower but I couldn't be upright any more afterward.

(All shower euphoria is erased when I gotta sit flopped on the ground towing the faucet hose around my head and trying not to blast my eyeballs out.)

I have an appointment with my doctor on Wednesday. I'm really lucky -- she's been great thus far, and takes me seriously when I say wacky things like I HAVE AN HYPOTHESIS REGARDING THESE SYMPTOMS, CAN WE LOOK INTO THEM. ("Yes and also would you like a referral to get spayed").

That being said, Saturday morning, I cried and cried, feeling like I had to hold onto the sofa to not fall off, because I'm scared and frustrated and angry and grieving. Grief is probably the worst because right now I don't know what I've lost. If I've lost anything. If this is real, if it's going to pass, if I'm panicking ... or if this is my life. Other disabilities have taken things from me -- doors that get closed and then bricked over. This feels like I could get shut in one room forever, like. Yes you, the Stress Powered Engine, who lives for pushing eustress as close to distress as you possibly can for fun and profit! Doing that will now hit you like a semi at highways speeds!

Or, I could recover. I don't have the data to know.

#long tall short fat covid #shhhhh journalling on the tumbly pumblies #i aborted so many Complains over the course of last week on the grounds of not being able to think #we will now be chucking thinkythoughts like baby birds out of nest enjoy

3 notes · View notes

vamosaespana · 5 months ago

Text

Rain with rainbows

We awoke to a rainy day…not what we had planned on as we obviously did not pack any rain gear 🤦🏻‍♀️ Ugg everything we had brought with us and of course I forgot to add that. But who am I kidding, for the teenagers they would have just worn a hoodie and how that would have felt in summer humidity would have not been bueno 👎🏼

We headed out to grab some breakfast and GB stopped to pick up some umbrellas from a street vendor…3 out of the 5 worked decent I guess🤷🏻‍♀️ We found a local place and had some French fries because why not have French fries in Spain 😆 The favorite tends to be patatas bravas which are potatoes with with a salsa on top which of course is amazing. My favorite is when GB ordered a plate of fries and they gave him not one but 2 sides of mayo for his fries!!!! I can’t even describe the giddiness I have each time I see the mayo😍 We then do a little shopping as we are heading to the Sagrada Familia today and Ali would like to wear some pants instead of her super long dress so of course we stop at Brandy Melville. Can I just stop for a second and ask moms about this store. It’s one I can somewhat get behind price was as I am super stingy about spending money (someone’s got to balance GB out🙄) but some of the clothes in the store look like they would fit my American Girl doll…it’s so small!!!!! And the style looks no different from any other store. Plain tees and tanks throw some sweats and pajamas in there…explain to me how that’s different from Target 🤷🏻‍♀️ anyway I digress but just wanted to feel out the crowd. 2 is able to find - pair of linen striped pants and some tops that fit a normal teenager and we are back in the rain heading home. Our reservations at La Sagrada Familia aren’t for 3:30 so we just decide to hunker down in the apartment and wait for the rain to pass. I get a load of laundry and some tidying up and the rain stops! 2/5 wanted to take a taxi but luckily I win and we walk. I mean I bought these On Clouds for how great they were for walking…I want my money’s worth 🤑

We arrive at La Sagrada Familia and it is breathtaking…now keep in mind parts of it are under construction as they are adding on and mending but still absolutely beautiful. We have a tour guide set up and he provides us with our headsets which now we are pros with and we head in. I have never seen a church like this ever in my life. One sees color in the stained glass in churches but the color Gaudi brought inside was just absolutely unbelievable!

He set up the windows so that it would take in color from the sun starting at sunrise and ending at sunset. The blue archway lighting up from the morning sun and the reddish hued arches lighting stronger as the sun sets. His true love for his faith was beautiful and showed in every detail from outside to inside. I truly applaud artists for the true gift they see in their mind and share with us.

We then took an elevator to the top of the spires dedicated to the nativity and then walked down enjoying the angel’s view of Barcelona. It was very winding and trust me when I probably should have taken a Dramamine on the way down. Would have truly been a good sobriety test! So far the day was going pretty drama free until…2 all of a sudden asked about her contacts and if I packed them…are you kidding me😑 Asking about them now as we head up the spire where we literally have no control and won’t know the answer for at least a couple hours. Yeah of course, let’s do that, total perfect timing, and then proceeds to freak out thinking she doesn’t have them and we have no way to verify at the time. These are the times I take a deep breath and try to stay calm when all I want to do is scream at the top of my lungs, which for sure would get me not only the dirtiest looks from people but also possibly arrested. Not to mention the Holy family just looking at me and shaking their head. This stays an issue for a bit but then seems to somewhat improve in order to enjoy the rest of the evening without tears.

As the family went to the gift shop, I was able to have some quiet time for prayers and again saying thank you for this beautiful gift. Also to ask for any help that the Holy Family can provide me in raising a teenager…still waiting for a response 🫤 I met up with them at the gift shop where they found our traditional ornament that we get for our tree. The one selected was the top spire of the tower dedicated to the Virgin Mary with 12 points. Truly beautiful. We also found our token reusable bag with the bright colors and design that we so loved in the church. I love our traditions that we have for each of our trips, something small but something we see and use reminding us of our trips.

GB arranged for a dinner just outside La Sagrada Familia where we enjoyed each others company and soaked in the views 😍

Andrew and I walked home while the girls took a cab with GB. Apparently they had an interesting ride with 2 cabbies yelling at each other back and forth. The talk is one taxi blew off GB and the girls because it was a short ride and the cab that did pick them up after definitely let him know how he felt about that 😲 Andrew and I were able to talk just the two of us which was nice as I really get sentimental with him. He’s going to be a sophomore this year and I feel like it’s going way to fast. We talked about school, colleges and friends making him promise he will come and visit on the holidays🥺 he always gives me an “awww mom” with a side hug and kiss. Not sure if it means “never in a million years would I pass up the holidays’ or “‘mom you’re crazy and need to be put in a nursing home”. Either way I take the hug and kiss 🥰

We get back to the hotel room and it’s back to packing up a again. Tomorrow we leave at 9:00 for a train to Madrid and then to Seville where the next leg of the journey starts. More laundry to be done, which I have to admit I am getting better at understanding the European washer and dryers…guess its one of my many gifts 😁. We are getting up early tomorrow at 6:00 so this is going to be rough but I’m excited where our next journey takes us!

0 notes

the-firebird69 · 2 years ago

Text

There are plenty of other fights going on but the one at the forefront is the fight with morlock and everybody's fight with Tommy f. And everybody's face demanding stuff so I can go after Tommy f and they get pushed away and pushed down and beat up and killed a lot today is not their day they're running around doing it this morning yeah I think about apartments and stuff and got the shake it out of them they went out and started fixing up stuff and they found out they're sick and old and they get lost some are at home trying to rest and they can't because they feel sick and they're terrified that they let themselves go what they've recovered before so trying to do it by coming down to their boats and got really sick and I take Dramamine and are nauseous they're a bunch of jackasses so listen to that today and we're also listening to make fun of our son because you're saying it's taking over businesses and they don't believe it at all which is fine he doesn't have any money. But it's very disgraceful what they're doing and they say that they are going to provide extra social security income and they don't need it and they're not trying and they don't have a plan to but at least they're saying it and they'll be used to cover and they'll see notes that says it. Right now Mac is putting together a program to do it and it's about the Gap and underpayment and really our son was underpaid for a long time it's still under me people I can't make about $3,000 a month Max agrees and on his way just terrible and they can't save up money too easily and he can't buy stuff you needs. And he's damn well worth a lot more than that and they know it and so if you calculated out it's like half million dollars I'm under payment and missed periods and they found out that they did it on purpose to limit how much money he would have it's extortion and they do it every few minutes they try and limit him they don't not successfully but they get beat up really bad and we're going to try and get the money back from key Bank actually it's straight talk it's KeyBank can't get it out of them and we're going after them for it and for the simple reason that it's fraud you took the card off there and changed the number and they try and do it all the time and we catch who it is and we're resting them and it's big groups of them now and straight talk is going to be ours and Walmart soon after going after Walmart because they're not selling stuff that's useful and they think we're not making anything everybody the time they figure it out it'll be too late and what he says is we could draw them out there depending on what we're ready for and it's something that has been talked about and we're not really ready yet and we don't have to yet we will have to be ready very soon we we know about it and said deadlines and we do have some mega weapons going up yes.

And as far as percentage of morlock remaining I believe my number is fairly accurate the argue about it all the time and it's kind of stuck here and they're really actually using a certain type of torture and slow torture and it's isolation and it's telling the guy off and he hated they actually hated it. And their wimps and they can't take it all and they dish it out all day long and they get their ass to send it to them. Right now I'm working on a series of orders in the idiots here stuff to do them. Got a number of things that we wanted to look at apartments and condos check them out just a couple other buildings but they're to the South and we wanted to see the progress you know the update Google once a month and we started that project last week so won't be another 3 weeks but he is going up tomorrow so he's asking Hera to remind him and he doesn't think he had him look last time and she didn't doesn't want a movie into an apartment so happy with him he's not really so we are going to help do it and we heard what happened and the towers would be a bit early but it would possibly stifle all the others or started going mad. So Leroy should probably call and he'll look into it and that would be advertising and I think I got it approved and they say yes so we're going to look at that there's not much else except a few other companies they're pretty big

**American airlines are in the final stages of negotiations with us we acquired a lot of small airlines and were combining them in each country into one airline and everybody appreciates it they said that was a nightmare and they're not very expensive but their planes are going to be in shape once we're finished repairing restoring and putting in new we are also making sure that American airlines has their stuff together while we're completing the acquisition there's a lot of things have to happen we need walls to go up we have 5100 airports under this company alone and I will contractors are going to Missouri this too much stuff to do and too many walls to make and said we're going to make a lot more walls in the future and you're telling me about it in the future about a week and we need more machines and more Cruise so I can tell Thor and Freya a lot more because we need him around all our apartments everywhere we're going to make tons of walls and make really good friends. So I said that to Thor and Freya and they said back well I guess we've got a friend in him and it's true too we've got tons of machines coming and there are other items were doing them on mostly apartments because they just get swamped if you don't and he said let's do it with the block until we get there and I started right away and it doesn't matter cuz you just finish it up with the machine and we're doing with block and it goes half as fast but it's going instead of go to the same speed if we knew how John Henry was no his tire more John Henry's in other words you have 40 sections of wall going up it's going to get done in a day as opposed to two days with the machine so I man the hell out of it and I'm hiring and hiring and hiring and he says it's the way my children learned at first time to do things and I said good so I hired like a madman and it's working now and we're going to get that banged out today so just take a couple from the airport and move to the cigarettes because the these things keep people calmer so we're going to do that and we have a lot of other stuff going on but this airline is important it's very huge it's got a lot of airports and we have a lot of stuff to check huge grounds massive number of hits and we need personnel and I'm putting it out there we need them as an emergency it's a very dangerous business and everyone should know from 911 and we need hiring people we need people to hire right now exactly now and we have about 5100 people a minute no 5100 airports that needs about 100,000 more people each but that's right on the job we need ancillary and suppliers and more it's a huge huge industry and we have people on board but we need people who are regular spice not just we have super spies now it would believe a lot of pressure on them would be very very welcome. There's a couple more companies we should publish now

Nuada Arrianna

Olympus

Good we publish this

Hera

0 notes

tryingmybestpls · 3 years ago

Text

Dead of Night

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: The Reader finds herself having to break some news to Matt. (Post Endgame, Pre Spider-Man: No Way Home)

Rating: R

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: Nervousness, pregnancy, mentions of injury, angst

A/N: I haven’t wrote for Matt in such a long time but PLEASE let me know if you guys would like a part two!!!

"I didn't know you were coming out tonight."

His voice doesn't quell her nervousness like it usually does-no, if anything it makes it so much worse. Her stomach hasn't tossed and turned this much in years, not since her parents had introduced her to the magical medicine that was Dramamine. Bile threatened to rise up in her throat with every step she took towards him. There was no trying to hide it-she knew that Matt could hear how loud her heart was beating, yet she still tried to feign some amount of normalness, trying to save face even though she knew it was futile.

"I wasn't going to, but I-uh-I needed to talk to you and I knew you were going to be busy during the day with court." She replies, her eyes staying on him as she forced herself to relax. Matt had turned around at this point, head inclined towards her ever so slightly. He looks confused, not offering a smile like he usually does whenever she's around-he definitely knows something is off. She wonders if her heartbeat is too loud, if it's overwhelming him, if he is drowning in the sound-

"What's wrong?" The Devil of Hell's Kitchen questions as he takes a step towards her. She stops in her tracks, her eyes unable to leave him. She knows that his brows are knitted together under his red mask. Her mouth opens for a moment as she struggles to find the strength to speak.

Y/N knows that what she has to say is going to change everything in between them and she's dreading it, but she knows she has to do it. A million scenarios ran through her head, each one making her stomach twist into knots. How was she just supposed to suddenly change his life? No one tells you how to break news like this, no movie ever shows you this part. Tears filled her eyes, threatening to spill over her lids as the words finally escaped wherever they had been hiding.

"I-I'm pregnant." Her voice is hardly loudly than a whisper, but she knows he can hear it perfectly. He stills for a moment, his mouth opening slightly in shock. Out of all of the scenarios that had ran through his head as soon as he heard her increased heart rate, this had not been one of them.

Tears roll down her cheeks, sparkling like jewels in the lights of the city and her eyes shift to focus on the floor. The nausea hadn't disappeared like she had been hoping it would, no if anything it got more violent as she awaited his response. An ache had started to grow in her chest as she stood there and it threatened to swallow her whole. She prayed to whoever was listening that he would find his words soon before she disappeared. Thankfully, he doesn't keep her waiting long.

"I-I don't want to say the wrong thing. I-What do you want to do?" Matt asks, his words soft as takes another step towards her. She swallows hard, looking back at him. He didn't look angry, didn't look upset, he just looked so damn concerned, concerned over her.

"I don't know, Matt. I don't fucking know." She replies, her words thickened with emotion, her throat suddenly feeling like it was constricting. She was-is a hero and she hardly gets scared anymore, not since Thanos snapped half of the universe away, but she's terrified right now. Part of her wishes that Matt would've told her what to do, but she knows him all too well and she knows that he'd never do anything like that. No, he was too much a good man.

"Anything, anything you do, I'm right there with you." Matt announces, taking a few more steps and closing the gap between then. She just sniffles and nods, her mind swarming with a million different emotions. He must know she's in turmoil because he just wraps his burgundy covered arms around her, pulling her into chest. Her eyes close immediately as she wraps her arms around his middle, holding onto him tightly.

She knew that the same thought that was currently running through her mind was going through his: Could they be parents?

That's another person to protect, another person to be terrified of losing. They both had lost so many people and neither of them knew how they'd handle another one. They weren't even together-not officially. Sure, she knew the man in red like the back of her hand. She knew all of his haunts-what rooftops he stood upon to hear the whole city, what places he frequented with his friends, what places he's been beaten to a pulp in. She knew how he took his coffee, what he was proud of, and about the women he had been with before her. He knew her just as well-knew all of her exploits, her victories, knew what cupboard her glasses were kept in. He knew what things made her feel tiny, that she was incredibly ticklish, and how alone she felt now that so many of her friends were dead. Both of them had told the other that it was perfectly fine for them to have other partners, but neither of them did. If had felt wrong to even think about anyone else in the way they thought about each other.

Yet, tonight wasn't the night to announce those thoughts to each other. No, tonight they just stood on that rooftop in the middle of his oh-so-beloved neighborhood, holding each other tightly. No one knew that they were up there, no one knew what had transpired between them. Her words still hung in between them in the air, lingering over them like a darkening storm cloud. Possibilities appearing and disappearing in their minds as the future suddenly turned murky.

The only thing that they knew for sure is that they didn't want to let go of each other and that they weren’t going to anytime soon.

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #daredevil #daredevil x reader #charlie cox

271 notes · View notes

limbel · 2 years ago

Text

heyy tag game below the cut 🙃✨

thanks @soupstiel and @alice-pdf for tagging me and giving me something to do when im bored sksjdj

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better.

name: mila

star sign: leo

height: 162cm (5'3)

time: 7:30 pm

birthday: august

favourite bands/artists: the shins forever and ever (and a bunch of others but im lazy)

last movie: idk? the adam project i think but it wasn't very memorable :/

last show: the boys (but im also currently rewatching spn, the x files and scrubs rip to me)

when did i create this blog: oh god it was probably 2013? i was very into doctor who at that time

what i post: mainly fanart and random thoughts (when i feel brave enough). i do reblog a lot of stuff tho :^)

last thing i googled: phone number of a piercing shop. they were closed :(

other blogs: one where i used to reblog language resources

do i get asks: rarely but yes! feel free to send me more tho skdjhdhd

following: around 550 i think but most of them are not active anymore

average hours of sleep: 6/8 if im lucky

instruments: i took 10 lessons of electric bass when i was like 14yo and thats it

what im wearing: tshirt and denim shorts

dream job: illustrator/comic artist

dream trip: norway and/or iceland. also i'd love to go on a road trip in the us just for the aesthetic

nationality: italian (no pasta jokes 🔪)

favourite song: oh boy a lot lmao i'll say new slang by the shins for its sentimental value. also dramamine by modest mouse because it drives me insane every fucking time

last book i've read: something wicked this way comes by ray bradbury

top 3 fictional universes i'd like to live in: idk!! doctor who but only if i get to do the time/space travel. his dark materials because yes annnddd uhm. actually, horizon: zero dawn because it so insanely beautiful and i can be with my girlfriend aloy. i'll also include spn but only for all the blorbos

tagging some mutuals off the top of my head (hope im not being annoying/double-tagging). no pressure of course, feel free to ignore me! ily all the same <3 @blanketcas @soldierpoetdean @icantleave @castiellesbian @heartcastiel @deanhisnippleisout @sailorsally @mrcowboydeanwinchester @lesbianjoannaharvelle @destielgaysex @4x01

#tag game #also if i didnt tag you but you want to do this pls pretend that i did <3

19 notes · View notes

brainrattlers · 2 years ago

Text

Play It Cool - Tyson Jost (24/n)

Author's notes: Lots of feels this chapter, but it'll end on a good note, I promise. I didn't want to dwell on it too much because it was going to make me sad too. So get ready for this rollercoaster! Also it's a late night write/post, so I'll edit it more in the morning, all errors are my own.

Pairing: Tyson Jost x OFC (AJ)

Word Count: 4914

Warnings: Language probably. Just assume that always. Depression.

Need to back up a chapter? Here's 23! https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/696530198978576384/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-23n

Tyson dropped his bag and ran up to his grandparents, giving them both big hugs. AJ and Laura immediately hugged and said hello, followed by the same with Kacey and Grandma Emily.

“It’s so good to finally meet the infamous AJ!” Grandpa Jim smiled big while pulling her in for a tight hug. “Glad you could come out to visit!” He tried to grab AJ’s rolling carry-on, but she insisted she could get it.

The ride to Laura’s was well planned at least - the family brought two vehicles now that there were six of them traveling back. Laura and Kacey took one vehicle, and the grandparents, Tyson and AJ were in the other. All sorts of questions were already being asked, about the flights, about how things were settling in St. Paul. AJ was pretty quiet, still a little groggy from all the Dramamine from the flights, as well as just watching all the sights around her as they traveled about. She apologized, not meaning to be rude, but was just a little foggy still.

The first day was pretty lazy, everyone had the day off and just relaxed around the house. AJ and Tyson helped Laura make dinner for everyone that evening. Card games were played, and AJ was, but wasn’t, surprised at how competitive the Josts were while playing. All sorts of conversations were had, mainly about AJ to learn more about her and how she ended up with Tyson (and she still insisted on telling the sanitized version, despite Laura smirking, knowing full well how that story really happened). (I’m actually pretty certain that Laura, if not Tyson, filled them in on the real story. Tyson would have no shame in that he was simply wearing a towel the first time he met AJ. That sounds like something he’d brag about, really.)

AJ’s favorite part of the first day though was seeing all the photos and memorabilia of Tyson all over Laura’s house. But don’t be fooled, there is just as much pride in Kacey as well, with volleyball photos and trophies scattered around. Seeing the two kids growing up, excelling in their own sports was inspiring. AJ didn’t have anything she was that great at, all she had was bowling, and she only pulled off taking 2nd at Women’s State Tournament in Singles one year.

It was also a trip seeing Tyson’s room, which pretty much hadn’t changed much since before he left for UND. Laura had made a few upgrades to it while he was out in Kelowna at Pursuit of Excellence with his cousin, Brendan. But otherwise, it was pretty much the same. A few framed photos on the walls, a small bookshelf, and a pile of dumbbells in the corner. Tyson was actually really excited about this though. Back at new home, the two share a king-sized bed (and AJ has gotten better about not crowding the one side Tyson is on), but here that most definitely wasn’t the case. In fact, pretty sure Laura had not intended on Tyson bringing guests with him that he’d be sharing a bed with when he got a couple upgrades, so he had a full-size there.

At least it wasn’t a twin?

But yes, Tyson was pretty excited at the fact that they’d have to curl up close at night. In fact, he was so excited, he pinned AJ against the back of his bedroom door, kissing her neck. As much as AJ wanted to see where it would lead, she had to stop Tyson’s advances.

“Mr. Jost, we are under your mother’s roof, and we will be respectful of that, at least when she’s home…” AJ winked.

The look of shock on Tyson’s face was epic, he had not expected that to ever come out of her mouth. But, for the time being, they definitely needed to follow the rules in AJ’s eyes. This was so different than when Laura and Kacey had come out to visit at Christmas, that was their turf. This time, it’s Laura’s. But AJ was willing to bend those rules as much as she could.

Laura knocked on the door before opening it. “Everyone decent? I don’t know if Tyson showed you where towels are, but they’re in the closet next to the bathroom, and if you need anything, just holler.”

AJ nodded, “Thanks, I really appreciate you letting me stay here with you all. I didn’t mean to crash the party.”

Of course AJ was being overly apologetic, as she does.

“Hush, you know I love having all my kids here. I just wish it was slightly different circumstances. But either way I’m glad you’re here,” Laura hugged AJ. “Good night you two, no funny business, Tyson. Sleep well.”

Tyson gasped, feigning offense before he hugged his mom goodnight.

With a quick trip to the bathroom to prepare for bed, AJ found that Tyson was already in bed, laying back, hands behind his head that was propped up enough to see her tiptoeing toward him.

“If only past me knew that future me was going to have this amazingly gorgeous, smart, funny and kind woman in this very bed with me… I don’t think past me would have believed it.”

AJ shook her head in disbelief at his words, maybe a touch of a blush tinting her cheeks as she crawled into Tyson’s waiting arms. It was definitely a closer fit in bed, but the two were able to spoon for a bit, before at least flipping so they were still touching, butt-to-butt… it’s typically how they end up, especially because AJ overheats so quickly in the summer.

Tyson was sound asleep after being lulled by the familiar feelings, sounds, and smells. AJ on the other hand was wide awake, not used to any of it. The only thing keeping her grounded was the fact the familiar sound of Tyson’s soft snores filling her ears. She flipped back over and was the big spoon curling herself around the body next to her. AJ found herself asleep just as hard as Tyson was after the long travel/meeting the family day.

The next couple of days were lazy days as Laura had to work, and left Kacey, Tyson and AJ to their own devices. The two toted AJ around the area, showing off places of interest to them, like where they went to elementary school, the rink Tyson first played hockey at. They also spent some time with the grandparents, where AJ got to hear all sorts of stories about Tyson growing up. Kacey was definitely into spilling the tea on Tyson as well - the poor guy didn’t stand a chance.

With the playoffs still going on for other teams, Jess made plans with Tyson and AJ to catch a game in Edmonton together. Tyson decided against going to the game, but agreed to getting dinner and drinks before/after the game.

For Tyson, that wound was still fresh. Imagine working several years toward your dream, and then you get sent to a different job elsewhere, and your previous crew achieved said dream without you. That’s gotta sting. The fact the Avalanche kept rolling on in the playoffs stung horribly bad. He couldn’t bring himself to go to the game itself, it simply hurt too much.

“Babe, you can still go. I know they’ve been your team forever,” Tyson tried to convince AJ to still go without him, “I’ll definitely be there for dinner and drinks with Jess though. I miss her!”

The Avs arrived in Edmonton, and AJ found herself crashing at Jess’ hotel for the night. Just like any other pre-gaming, the night before was spent making signs, and watching Sandra Bullock movies. For some reason, it never failed, these two ended up watching some movie of her’s. Dallas had them watching Miss Congeniality 1 and 2. They watched The Heat, and The Blindside. Pretty sure one night they even watched Speed.

Tonight’s choice? The Proposal.

The Proposal was one of Jess’ favorites, which maybe explained why she seemed so giddy while watching it. I mean, Ryan Reynolds in a towel? Yes please. But she seemed more giddy than normal, even more than after a few margaritas. The two of them spent the entire evening drinking and working on their signs for the next day.

Letting the women sleep in as it was a late night, Tyson picked up AJ and Jess and took them around to some of his favorite spots before they settled on dinner. And as he said he would, he had dinner with them, Jess and Tyson catching up more than anything. But as dinner ended, Tyson excused himself, saying he would meet up with them again after the game, either for maybe drinks, or at least get them back home. AJ could see something off with Tyson, and offered to skip the game, but he insisted as he dropped them off at the arena.

With signs in hand, the two women headed down to the glass on the Avs warmup side. Familiar faces lit up seeing AJ waving and holding up her sign. Even Mikko, who called AJ a traitor in Minnesota a few weeks prior, seemed pretty happy to see her. As warmups ended, AJ and Jess found their seats. The phone in AJ’s pocket buzzed as she sat down.

Tyson: I didn’t mean to be a buzzkill, I’m sorry

AJ: You’re fine. Is everything okay?

Tyson: Yeah, I just… things are kind of bothering me.

AJ: I’m so sorry babe, I really can leave now if you want me to.

Tyson: No, you spend time with Jess. Go, have fun. Text me when you’re ready to head home.

AJ: Okay. Love you

Tyson: Love you too Eggo

AJ apologized to Jess for zoning out for a few moments talking with Tyson. She didn’t mean to be rude. Eventually she just had to admit that Tyson was struggling a bit internally with how things were playing out. Jess understood though, it really was a shitty outcome, how things played out with the trade. She wasn’t mad that AJ was trying to be there for Tyson, because clearly he needed it.

The two were able to focus on the game though, and the Avalanche won over the Oilers that night. Edmonton fans were none too happy about the outcome, but Jess was ecstatic. The mood had shifted some, and AJ wasn’t feeling much like partying a whole lot. After a single drink, AJ admitted she was pretty tired, and was ready to head out. She’d stay longer if Jess wanted to as well, but Jess had picked up on the attitude change.

“Hey, no worries, go take care of what you need to. I should probably get back soon anyway, early flight and all.”

Tyson: I’m at The Pint, I can be there in about 15? Or you can walk over here?

AJ: We can walk, I don’t think it’s far. See you soon love.

Tyson: (heart emoji)

AJ and Jess did a quick tequila shot before they headed toward The Pint. Tyson spied AJ first, with a giggling Jess with her, giving a small smile. Through the crowd they found their way toward each other.

Someone grabbed him for a selfie, and a smile graced his face, but AJ could see it didn’t meet his eyes. All she could see was how tired he seemed. How much it seemed like he didn’t want to be there, as much as he faked it and it was pretty believable otherwise.

AJ’s eyes met his as she nodded, understanding a bit of what he was feeling.

After finishing up with a few fans, Tyson grabbed AJ’s hand and pulled her in close. Checking in with each other, AJ looked up at Tyson, who breathed a small sigh of relief. With a squeeze of his hand, Tyson looked down and kissed AJ’s forehead, finding something that grounded him in her.

Two girls standing nearby trying to get Tyson’s attention scoffed, sneering at AJ, eyeing her up and down. AJ did not appreciate the display, and took advantage of the disbelieving stares. Sliding her hand up Tyson’s neck and cheek, she pulled his cheek down, meeting her own face where she kissed him deeply and exaggerated. Upon pulling away, Tyson blinked trying to regain his bearings, and AJ smiled sweetly at the two gawking girls. Realizing they’d been bested, AJ’s competition sulked and walked away, on the prowl to find another man to entice.

“What was THAT for?” Tyson looked at AJ, still a little shocked by her boldness in public.

AJ wasn’t really one for PDA like that, so it was very out of character for her. It did get him out of his head for a few moments though, which was a needed break. She just shrugged her shoulders, while he squinted, trying to figure out what just happened.

Still unsure of what just took place, Tyson whisked his lady and her best friend off toward his car, dropping Jess off first, and then heading home with AJ. It was a quiet drive, with Tyson’s hand sitting high up on AJ’s thigh.

“What happened tonight?” AJ broke the silence, “Do you want to talk?”

Tyson bit his lip, contemplating his next words carefully. “It’s just… I’m just… tired. Frustrated. I just can’t do this right now.”

“Tyson, I’m lost, what’s going on?” AJ was genuinely concerned. He was sounding like her when she was having her down days, and she didn’t like it. She figured out this is what it must feel like for Tyson when she was down.

“It’s just been difficult here lately,” Tyson kept his eyes on the road, continuing, “I don’t know, it sounds dumb, but, it just sucks, you know? I want to be happy for all of them, you know? But I can’t. It hurts…I was supposed to be with the team.”

“I can’t even imagine what it feels like. But I’m here for you, yeah? Always and forever.” AJ put her hand on top of his still on her thigh. “I may not know what to say, but I’m always here to listen.”

With a nod, Tyson pulled into the driveway at his mom’s house. They quietly got inside, and went directly to bed. The mood was still a bit of a downer, the two directly went to bed. Instantly, AJ pressed her cheek to Tyson’s shoulder, and hugged him into her tightly. He melted into her arms, feeling like everything was better when she was holding him. He still let go of a shaky breath, and she knew he wasn’t completely good. Her hope was that a good night’s sleep might help.

Unfortunately, for both of them honestly, it felt like things were spinning a bit out of control. The further the Avs went in the playoffs, the further that knife felt like it was being jabbed into Tyson’s gut. AJ shut off her phone so she wouldn’t get updates on the game. More nights than not, Tyson was in AJ’s arms, tears falling down his cheeks, sobs coming and going when he’d think about what could have been had he not been traded.

Of course, not quite sure how to handle the situation, AJ was just listening, letting Tyson vent and get it all out. After a number of nights trying to soothe Tyson’s heartache, she called in the big guns for help.

“Laura, can I ask you for some advice?”

Take stock in the saying “Mother knows best.” Because often, she really does. With Tyson moping around the house, barely leaving, seemingly going through the motions, Laura put her foot down and put on her coaching hat.

Breakfast that morning was a bit unexpected with the conversation that ensued.

“So what are you up to this evening, Tyson?” Laura knew full well that it was Game 2 between the Avalanche and Lightning, but she was going to make a point.

Tyson sighed and poked at the eggs on his plate, pushing them around. “I don’t know, probably go to bed early or something.”

Laura quirked an eyebrow at AJ. The statement was bland and monotone. It was the least animated AJ had ever seen Tyson be.

“Hey, how about… you go for a run before dinner tonight? We’ll have dinner together, and then you can see how you feel.”

Tyson hadn’t been on a run in quite a while, and Laura knew it was something that would clear his head. Focusing on his cadence, his breathing, it would put him into a place that was empty, free of frustration and being depressed. Plus those endorphins would do him some good.

And Laura was right, the run helped him that night. He still avoided the game like the plague. AJ relied on texts from Jess, and not the sound of the ESPN app on her phone letting her know someone else had scored. (In fact, that would have been 7 times that night, as the Avs won 7-0, bringing game three to Tampa.)

The next day, Tyson had some news. He’d been texting Dumba, who was working with Empowers Performance in Edina, who wanted him to come out and train for the summer. He could work it around the dates he was with Dynamic in Edmonton. There might be some hopping back and forth a bit. Even more, he was talked to by a few people affiliated with Da Beauty League, and after a couple players dropped out, they heard Tyson was possibly going to be in Minnesota a bit more this summer and hoped he’d be on a team. Things were starting to look up for him a little. He had things to focus on that weren’t the Avalanche continuing their quest for the Cup.

Despite extending the trip longer than the original week and change, the new plan brewing in his head also was dashed (his intent was to stick around until Canada Day, July 1, as his grandpa had a concert as part of the festivities), so he remained flexible. The couple headed back to the States, and Tyson started training a bit more.

He was feeling pretty good, feeling a little better mentally AND physically. Things seemingly were falling into place. He and AJ toured a couple townhouses and apartments, and finally picked one. Tyson’s schedule was being hammered out between workouts and DBL in Edina, and working with Dynamic a bit still in Edmonton. And even better, he had a small get away break for her and AJ for Canada Day still, and he was super excited for this year’s, he knew it was going to be unlike any other one for his family.

But just as things started going well, they stopped again. Humanity showed how ugly it could be in the form of starting to get comments on his Instagram posts about how if he’d still be playing with the Avs, they wouldn’t be playing for the Cup. That he was a terrible player. There were some that were far worse, but I’m not going to continue feeding those trolls. And if you recall, he was the one telling AJ months prior to never read the comments… he did. And it broke his heart, and soul. He already was reeling with the fact that the Avs were so close to winning the Stanley Cup without him, this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The depression was back… but between Laura, Kacey and AJ, they convinced him to get off Instagram for a bit. If it felt right, stay off it completely. If he missed it, he could come back in a few weeks, see if all the crap had settled down.

It was perfect timing to get off social media for him too, as his friends (former teammates) started posting all of their celebrations about winning the Cup. It was absolutely heartbreaking to see how much it tore Tyson’s heart from his chest. It was all too much.

Tyson sat there, glassy-eyed, not sure what to do. Finally, AJ did.

Grabbing his phone from his hands, AJ found the Instagram app, and temporarily disabled his account.

“There. No more. No more comments. No more seeing festivities. And you know what we’re going to do with this sadbrain going on? We’re going to channel it into bettering YOU. I know you are bigger than this. Time to prove it.” AJ thought Laura would be proud of that pep talk.

The timing was perfect. The next morning, Tyson felt free, more free than he’d felt in a long time. He went to work out at Dynamic, and worked HARD. He went for another run that evening. And the same the next day. And one more day before he and AJ made their way back to Minnesota.

The break from social media was exactly what Tyson needed. AJ let him know that a lot of his followers were concerned about his sudden departure, but AJ didn’t say anything… it was not her needing to get away, it was him. And when/if he was ready, he could tell the story. But for now, it was allowing him to focus on working on himself.

And when they returned to Minnesota? The two signed on the dotted line of a new lease, and spent a few days moving in furniture and getting their new space in their new lives set up. He worked with Matt and the trainers at Empowers Performance. Tyson’s mental health was on the up and up, which made AJ’s life easier. In fact, the first night they were in the new place, AJ slept like a log. Not because she was exhausted from unpacking, but Tyson’s bed, the bed she’d spent so many nights on in Denver, was back. It felt familiar. The better sleep helped her own mental health, along with unpacking some of their favorite things, and finding homes for them in their new home.

Speaking of AJ, since returning to Minnesota, she picked up some freelance IT support work, mainly in the form of Tyson’s teammates and coaching staff needing help with computers and tech in general at their homes. She was able to have an income and not feel like she was mooching off of Tyson. She could put money toward rent, and buy groceries.

Together, the two of them made a hell of a team, sharing the responsibilities around the new home. One would cook, the other stepped in to do dishes. They alternated between who did the laundry, who vacuumed the carpet. They just fell in perfect sync with each other.

Of course, their time there was short, as Tyson already had plans for Canada Day. Dragging AJ with him, not that he had to twist AJ’s arm too much, they made it to Edmonton for a couple days, including the holiday. Tyson was straight up GIDDY about it, and AJ couldn’t figure out why. He’d never really mentioned it before. The closest thing she could think of was the fact that he was just super big on being patriotic for his country… and while he was, this was not even remotely close to where his mind was.

Tyson actually left AJ alone for a bit the day before, saying he had to go pick up some supplies for his family’s celebration the next day. AJ offered to come with, but he insisted she stay at home, and he’d be back. In his defense, he did come back with tons of food that could be grilled to celebrate the coming day. He also let AJ know that his grandpa’s band was playing a show during the afternoon, and it would mean a lot to him if they went.

AJ wasn’t about to turn down going to a show put on by Panache.

Laura, Grandma Emily, Kacey, Tyson, and AJ piled into the car, and headed for the concert. Tyson was super fidgety, bouncing his foot rapidly. This continued once they found seats. At one point, AJ was just looking around, people watching, and she swore she saw Nate there, but she figured it was definitely her imagination. It could have just been a guy with blonde hair wearing his hat backward.

The show was a lot of fun, with the band playing a lot of jazz standards. Suddenly though, Grandpa Jim stopped the band, and said there was a special request. He nodded at Tyson, and shakily, Tyson got up and asked AJ for her hand to go dance with him. It was much smoother than the last time they danced in the small hotel room kitchen.

With the music starting, AJ recognized it instantly as Chet Baker… she couldn’t believe Tyson talked them into learning “My Funny Valentine.” It’s a very short song, but Grandpa Jim playing clarinet provided the vocals for the song. The two swayed, spun and even dipped in those two and a half minutes.

At the conclusion of the song, AJ was getting ready to head back to her seat, not wanting to stall the concert any longer than necessary, she didn’t want to be rude. However, Tyson asked for a moment, and leaned down to tie his shoe. Grandpa Jim looked at him and suddenly gasped. A few others also audibly gasped. Very confused, AJ turned around to find Tyson down on one knee, tiny black velvet box in his hand.

Laura clasped her hands over her mouth.

Inside the box, was a white gold ring with a black sapphire center stone, surrounded by a halo of clear diamonds.

AJ was the next one to clasp her hands over her own mouth. She stared at the ring, and stared at Tyson, with a look of absolute “WTF?” taking over her face. It wasn’t the fact that he was proposing, hell, they’d already done that even if it were a secret. But this was next level. This ring was the exact one that AJ had shown Jess one day while the two of them were shopping for engagement rings for giggles months prior. However for everyone else, it was a new situation for the two in this couple.

Tyson squinted a bit. “Will you be my funny valentine?”

The play on the song hit AJ right in the heart. And just like the last time he asked… she nodded emphatically, before finally finding her voice to squeak out a “yes.” Tyson slid the ring onto AJ’s finger, whispering softly, “I told you I’d get you a better one!”

The couple kissed, and the Jost family was still in shock. Clearly Grandpa Jim knew that they were playing the song, but he just assumed it was so the two could dance. He didn’t expect the proposal. So here he is, just like when Tyson was drafted, and scored his first goal… Grandpa Jim was straight up crying. The Jost family not in the band rushed the couple to congratulate them. AJ was showing off her ring… and was very confused suddenly. She’d never shown it to Tyson.

“Hey babe…. How… how did you know?”

Tyson motioned over to the corner, where Jess and Nate were standing. AJ HAD seen Nate earlier! But it was apparently Jess that let Tyson know what to get AJ, after he specifically asked for her help.

(I’m not going to say Jess was all, “I know exactly what she wants, it’s this.” But…that might just be indeed what happened.)

Jess and Nate joined the crowd congratulating AJ and Tyson. They tried to keep it brief as Panache still had 3 songs left on their setlist, and probably not enough time to play them. The crowd dispersed back to seats and let the band continue. But between songs, and after the set, the congratulations flowed.

The two never let on that they’d already been engaged for months, this was all for show for the family and friends… and for AJ to give her a ring that wasn’t going to stain her finger a different color and smell of pineapple all the time.

The rest of the day, AJ couldn’t stop looking at her finger adorned with the black and white stones. The smile on her face wouldn’t stop either.

After the concert, the Jost family, complete with future Mrs. Jost, headed back home for the evening. Tyson agreed to man the grill, and AJ helped prepare a few side dishes. Jess and Nate were even there, enjoying the festivities. Dinner was had, and finally around 9:30, everyone was outside in the backyard, roasting marshmallows in the firepit. Looking up at the sky due to some loud crackles and booms, everyone stopped what they were doing to watch the Canada Day fireworks going off.

With the last explosions, most everyone went inside (or back to the hotel in the case of Nate/Jess), getting ready for bed. The last two outside with the dwindling flames of the firepit still going were Tyson and AJ. With a blanket under them, they sat on the ground, Tyson holding her from behind. He was studying how the last few flames of the fire illuminated AJ’s cheeks with a soft glow. Kissing her shoulder, he realized just how perfect the day was. The two stayed this way until the fire finally went out. But unlike the fire in front of them, Tyson knew that their love was never going to die out. Chapter 25 is right here! https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/697803948290146304/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-25n

#Tyson Jost #Josty #play it cool #tyson jost x ofc #tysontuesday #mnwild

7 notes · View notes