#and i kind of think he's right
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so i currently have two camps of opinions on this whole job search thing.
husband, dad, and dad’s wife all think i should take the first good opportunity that comes along because i am currently a ball of anxiety over this job search. struggling to eat, can’t sleep, constantly crying, and it’s only been two weeks. also, no actual job offer has materialized, just the strong possibility of one.
mentors and one of my aunts think i shouldn’t sell myself short and should be more patient. that i have the opportunity to think about what i want out of my career and shouldn’t settle.
i am currently absolutely miserable. i know where i want to go in the future. i know i need to get my cpa to do it, which requires a lot of outside work to study and pass. husband’s salary covers all of our living expenses so whatever i make can just go straight into savings for our future. i also have to think about the fact that i want to start a family sooner rather than later and unfortunately for me as a woman, that means i can’t risk job-hunting while pregnant.
i have four interviews scheduled for monday and tuesday. i have another application that i think i will hear back very soon to set up an interview. i am not in a bad position. i feel like i might be selling myself short if i do get a job offer from that interview. on the other hand, it’s a job i know i can do and master and that could allow me the room i need to study. i’ve already tried to get my cpa while being stretched at work and that didn’t work out because i am incapable of not choosing work because i always live a little bit in fear of being fired (public accounting job really made that even worse than where i started because that threat was actually constantly hanging over my head. there’s a reason not a single person who started there with me stayed and it wasn’t just the brutal hours.)
i still don’t know what to do.
#life post#the job search#trying to figure out if i'm selling my future short#my dad thinks i should think of pursuing the cpa as the real investment in my future#and that i should take whatever would enable me to do that#and i kind of think he's right#i'm also approaching this like i'm getting married to a job#when it should really be: do i think i can do this for a year#anyway#i could always use another opinion
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“Accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust?”
#Frankenstein#gothic literature#gothic lit art#victor frankenstein#happy new year lads#ive been thinking about nothing else but them for the past 3 days#been trying to figure out a decent design for victor and i think im getting closer#he needs to have a cruelness to him#and he needs to be kind of pathetic#someone who the creature could snap in half yknow#and i need to make the creature more Mean looking but it just feels right to draw him sad and despairing#THAT BEING SAID i think i did a good job here hehe#henry is next :)))#my art#illustration
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My Great Grandma who loved her babies very much
Reference that I used for the face!
#I was scrolling through pinterest and saw this woman and I was like: She looks EXACTLY like how I imagine Stan and Ford's mother to look#my art#gravity falls#mabel pines#dipper pines#ig??#caryn romanoff pines#caryn pines#mabel voice: she must have been one hell of a mother to have had to deal with Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford when they were kids!#DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW SHE MIGHT HAVE DIED THINKING STANFORD AND STANLEY NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO RECONCILE#DO U EVER THINK ABOUT HOW SHE MUST HAVE BEEN PLAGUED WITH REGRETS AND WHAT-IFS OVER STAN BEING KICKED OUT- WISHING SHE COULD HAVE DONE MORE#DOES THE THOUGHT THAT STANFORD MIGHT HAVE NEVER GOTTEN THE CHANCE TO VISIT HER AT HER DEATHBED OR HER FUNERAL SINCE HE WAS STUCK ELSEWHERE??#EVER HAUNT YOU AT NIGHT???#DOES IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT SHE MIGHT HAVE KNOWN ALL ALONG ABOUT STANLEY- SINCE SHE'S THEIR MOTHER AND “WHAT KIND OF MOTHER CAN'T#RECOGNISE HER OWN CHILDREN APART“#THEY MEET AT STAN'S FUNERAL LIKE: “STANLEY I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED- NOR WHY THAT CASKET AT THE FRONT IS EMPTY RIGHT NOW AND WHY WE'RE#CURRENTLY ATTENDING YOUR FUNERAL- OR WHY YOU'RE EVEN DRESSED UP AS FORD RIGHT NOW.“#“I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON STANLEY- BUT I DO KNOW THAT ONE OF MY SONS DIDN'T DIE IN A DITCH SOMWHERE IN THE FLAMING WRECK OF A CAR CRASH-#AND THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME.“#SHE GOT THAT MOTHER'S INSTINCT#stan twins parents
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i wanted to try drawing older Mabel and Dipper !
#gravity falls#mabel pines#dipper pines#artists on tumblr#tbob#not gonna lie im not too sold on these designs so i may change things later if i ever wanna draw them again#i was looking at their old character designs and concept art for inspiration#mabel lowkey looks like a fashion mess but! i think its in character so whatevvsss#also firm believer that they both have glasses. mabel doesnt wear contacts bc she likes fun frames + contacts are too uncomfortable for her#dipper doesnt wear contacts because hes too busy for contacts and he can never put them in right#also took some insp from kristen schaal. alex hirsch. ariel hirsch. jason ritter for them too#also. i know dipper is shown to be a STEM-y kid but i firmly am a believer hes a STEM enjoyer in the service of art. like the fanfiction#writer thats studies physics or chemistry to get a certain detail right or something. or the entire futurama writers room lol#like i do think he wants to make documentaries or shows abt the supernatural or whatever#and mabel helps out with the adventuring :)#kind of like buzzfeed unsolved in the golden era of youtube#turtlearts
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hello sailor
#i dont think im using that phrase right but he IS kind of a sailor so#tagamemnon#art#digital art#odysseus#odyssey#the odyssey#greek mythology#i am a Sick so heres an ody that looks as miserable as i feel
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nomad boyfriend comes back for a visit
obviously there are some extras for the patr0ns <3
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#halsin silverbough#durge#halsin x durge#the bhaalspawn has found an extremely healthy relationship dynamic#ashe's cats are so indifferent they're probably like 'oh tall tree dad is back'#i love domestics but also i think halsin is the kind of person who needs to vanish into the woods for 2-3 weeks#ashe hates dirt so he has his house with his cats#this makes me want to write an awful 70s farce where ashe thinks the guy's there for sex and he's just there to fix the boiler#i was working on a long angst comic but i pushed it back for. reasons#only wholesome stuff right now
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I kidnapped ur long-nosed cat for a sec
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#last year you said that “dude looks like he's been betrayed in all past lives and is to be betrayed in all lives to come”#and it has become one of the defining descriptions of Machete in my head#I think about it frequently#you captured him so delicately here#almost like an old oil painting#or weirdly enough the color palette also reminds me of chalk on a blackboard#and I appreciate the big angular pink-tinted goblin ears#and the smooth gradient of his snout#I like the nuance of his expression he seems calm but kind of melancholic#thank you! your rendition of him looks so classy and refined ;-;#gift art#awkwardosthe3rd#Machete#own characters#I can't paint digitally at all so whenever I see someone making it seem so natural and correct and right I'm like#floored#people are making such nice art of my goobers I have no choice but to curl on the floor like a dead bug
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roll out the red carpet guys we're going to the SHAFTLANDS
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#tapis rouge#i have nothing else right now i'm sorry i just got excited by that vil hairstyle#(and i got REALLY excited for a second because i thought red carpet = movie premiere and i always love it when vil gets to be an ~acteur~)#(but 'luxe couture' makes me think fashion show instead. ah well.)#anyway it's time for the vil hometown event!!!! or...travel event at least?#are we gonna get to meet eric or is it gonna be someone else 👀 👀 👀#like i would love to see eric but i kind of think it won't be him since he had that little main story cameo#(as portrayed by Generic Man Silhouette with some hair drawn on)#but feel free to prove me wrong twst! show us how much more glorious his hair has gotten in the last ten-ish years
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"Now, the vow will be honoured, and my Lord brother's soul will return."
Radahn stans keep winning, but I personally am in Miyazaki's walls rn
#my art#shadow of the erdtree spoilers#sote spoilers#shadow of the erdtree#elden ring#godwyn prince of death#godwyn the golden#miquella the kind#miquella the unalloyed#promised consort radahn#fromsoft#i do not think critiques of radahn are as shallow as “pay $40 to fight a boss we already fought”#the dlc is good right up until the final boss#most of the new bosses are good#i loved midra and metyr and messmer and the dancing lion#radahn as consort just comes completely out of left field and just seems like a huge disconnect between the dlc and base game#radahn's story was done with the festival#and it's a good end! i like the festival and the base game radhan fight#but here he shows up again out of nowhere when godwyn is the obvious choice and a godwyn boss fight would be new and interesting#you can even still have your villain miquella story#puppeting his brother's living-but-soulless corpse unable to accept#that just because godwyn is breathing and follows his command like a deprecated computer program#even godhood can't bring his brother's soul back#his body must be slain and he must die a true death#we could have at least gotten a line of dialogue from radahn but nope#ok rant over#this pic is sloppy but idc#no cleanup we die like men#yes i know miquella's model technically has only three arms but i gave him four bc three looks silly
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Tim Drake Accidentally Takes Over the World (and Didn’t Think to Mention It)
So, Janet somehow spent decades climbing her way into every government worth a damn, ruling the entire world from behind the scenes. And then, because the universe is apparently wild, she left it all to Tim.
Cut to Tim Drake, the brand-new, completely reluctant secret ruler of the entire planet. And he just… never really thought it was worth mentioning?
The Batfam finds out when Bruce stumbles across an encrypted memo traced to a mysterious Gotham office with Tim’s name on it.
Bruce, holding up the memo: “Tim. Want to explain why this document about, oh, international finance reforms is signed with your encryption key?”
Tim, not even looking up from his laptop: “Oh, yeah. That. Janet left me her ‘global influence portfolio’ or whatever. Mostly paperwork.”
The Batfam stares in total shock.
Dick sputters nearly dropping his coffee: "Wait—you’ve been managing world policies?!”
Tim, shrugging, barely paying attention as he emails the president of Germany: “Well, yeah. I figured someone had to keep things running. It's not that big a deal. I mostly just redirect some policies. You know, keep things running smoothly.”
Jason, absolutely cackling: “Are you telling me that little Replacement here is the reason for half the ‘global cooperation’ headlines?”
Tim, scrolling through emails: “They send me reports; I send suggestions. And honestly, they make it way more dramatic than it is. It's not that hard."
Barbara stares at him, half horrified, half impressed. “How did we not notice this?”
Tim blinks. “I mean, it’s not like I was actively hiding it. I assumed you guys knew I was… kind of managing these things?”
Cue utter disbelief.
Stephanie, laughing too hard to breathe: “Tim, do you have world leaders on speed dial?”
Tim, completely unfazed: “Only the important ones. They text, mostly. Oh—by the way, I might’ve influenced a minor arms control thing last week. Don’t worry; it’s all sorted.”
Bruce, looking like he’s two seconds from fainting: “Sorted? Tim, we're talking about you having global authority here. People notice these things."
Tim shrugs again as his phone buzzes with notifications. “Sure, but it’s not like they’re going to do anything too crazy. I just suggest stuff, and they listen. Honestly, it’s like herding really powerful, really overdramatic cats.”
Damian, scandalized: “You mean to tell me, Drake, that you’re manipulating world politics like it’s a game of checkers?”
Tim, still casual: “Manipulating’s a strong word. Like I said, it’s more just nudging things along.” His phone buzzes again. “Oh, hang on. France is panicking about their energy policy again.”
The Batfam tries to process the fact that Tim—Tim, who routinely forgets what day it is—is now, somehow, running the world.
And then his phone buzzes with a message from the UN Security Council.
Tim sighs, glancing down. “Oh, great. Looks like they’re debating nuclear arms again. Be right back.”
Meanwhile, the Batfam is left absolutely speechless, processing the fact that their Tim—scrawny, coffee-fueled Tim—is apparently one of the most powerful people on the planet. And to him its just another tuesday.
#tim drake#batfam#tim accidentally becomes the most influential person in the world and its not even his fault#janet was totally paranoid ant who knows what and knew she had to get herself involved with any politics she could#somehow this means she ends up becoming some kind of consultant that all the governments go to for any advice#tim just doesn't care because it means more paperwork for him#tim learned everything he knows from janet herself so when she dies they all do what she wrote in her will and go to her son instead#batfam in absolute disbelief#how did none of them realize?!#tbf i dont think its something anyone would realize unless they were out right told#tim drake ruling the world
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brennan reintroducing the bad kids with genuine titles they hold in canon like “archdevil” “captain of the owlbears” & “risen saint” but adding “holder of the tin flower” to gorgug’s intro because of how gorgug offering his tin flower to fabian, even after they fought, so effectively represents the type of person gorgug is (a kind one).
#what if i died#gorgug thistlespring#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy spoilers#fhjy#if u think about it this is a win for the thistlecaster agenda (i’m delusional)#fellas is it gay if offering a tin flower to my bro which he later got put on the ax holster he gifted me is a core tenet of my character?#(no)#idk if tenet is the right word there but whatever it’s 5 a.m. idc at this point#but anyways. zac oyama characters you are often so kind & i love that about you.
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Anyone else think a lot about how at the end of canon, Lan Wangji has had time to mature for 10+ years into a guy in his mid-30s, but Wei Wuxian still has the life experience and general maturity of a war-traumatized early 20-something?
Because like. Wei Wuxian died young and he died tragically, and everyone who was around him then that's still there after he's resurrected has gotten to live their lives. They got to mature. They've had 13/16 years to heal (or not heal -_-) and learn who they are. To become fully realized adults outside of the pressures of war. And Wei Wuxian hasn't had that. If you believe MXTX's interview that circulates on this site sometimes, he spent those 16 years in a suspended state of agony. And even if you don't believe that, he was still dead. Non-existant.
For Wei Wuxian, the war is fresh. The pain is fresh. He has no idea what's doing because he's barely an adult, if admittedly a highly skilled one for his age. The world has moved on around him and he has stayed in place. What does he do with that?
Wei Wuxian had no choice but to pretend that he's moved on, too, because that war that took so much from him was almost two decades ago, now. The Wen Remnants have been dead for over 10 years. What use is it to dig up old hurts? Except, those hurts are still hurting him.
When he died, Wei Wuxian was helping care for Lan Sizhui. Wen Yuan. When he died, Lan Wangji raised A-Yuan with the Lan. If Wei Wuxian was dead for 13/16 years and A-Yuan was 3/4 when he died, then Lan Sizhui is about his age, or very close to it.
This is the child he was raising. This child is now his peer.
Wei Wuxian has memories of war and tragedy, but no one to talk to. The juniors, who are closest to him in relative age, haven't known war, and everyone who has known it has moved on. He's trapped between generations, and that has to be so incredibly isolating.
Jiang Yanli, the Wen Remnants, Wen Qing of particular note, all of them died shortly before he did. Did he ever really get to grieve them? Will he be allowed to now? Especially with his reputation. Especially with the number of people who would really prefer him to simply leave the past in the past. Especially with all the people who think he is the cause of the deaths he wishes to grieve.
Will he be allowed to mourn, if the cultivation world thinks these deaths are his fault? Or that these people don't deserve to be grieved?
Wei Wuxian has the misfortune of being a man who is a decade out of time, and he will have to learn to cope with that, but how does he account for the missing years? When the pain is still fresh for him, how does he find a place in a society that has long since moved on?
#I don't see a lot of posts or fic or anything about this#and that's fine that's cool#but I think about this a lot#wwx has been pulled out of step with his peers#but he can't find step with the people now his age because his life experiences are too different#he's a man out of time#but not in the captain america 'learning a new era' kind of way#it's the same era#it's fresh enough that the war is still remembered. he is still remembered. but everything is somehow different#everything has shifted and wwx has stayed in place#mdzs#wwx#meta#right corpse#mo dao zu shi#wei wuxian#the untamed#cql#cheng qing ling
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the whole "jason rules crime alley and none of the other bats are allowed there!!1!" thing is so funny like. tim LITERALLY lives in the theater where bruce's parents died,
#rimi talks#sorry. thought about tim doing that again. what is WRONG with him kfjshakjdshfkjd#WITHOUT EVEN TELLING BRUCE UNTIL AFTER HED ALREADY DONE IT TOO.#TIMOTHY. WHY.#this is the other thing abt why i just dont like seeing jtodd in fanwork#whenever he appears like 99% of the time its in a way that is directly contradictory to actual comics#the 1% of people who actually read the comics and write him in such a way? fine great awesome!!#however i still am filtering that bitch out because hes kind of a catch-all for the most annoying batfanon tropes.#because. yknow. theres no other tags to filter out bc they dont Fucking tag it#alas. oh well. anyways can we go back to going hey tim what is wrong with you#because for real i think he got off way too easy for this one.#forget identity reveals i want the core four sleepover where tim's apartment gets its lore reveal#give me cassie doing such a dramatic spit take that she gets ice cream on the ceiling. picks up tim like a weasel. and goes WHY???#and hes just like. idk seemed like the right thing to do :)#tim
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the slightly unsettling realization that your ex-boss is also a person with wants and desires, and that those wants and desires are closer to your own than you might previously have imagined. aka "why does DJ Octavio get to be at the Grand Festival can you imagine how the octolings must feel about this"
Bonus doodle:
#dj octavio#craig cuttlefish#cuttletavio#<-kind of#splatoon#splatoon 3#grandfest#splatoon grand festival#I think generally octolings have a pretty fond view of their DJ and even this guy probably does. as evidenced by all the titles#but anyways you people realize that DJ Octavio also longs for the Surface. Right.#'well the inklings didnt care about the war anymore so why didnt he-' 1. HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?#You are going to blame probably one of the few remaining guys with living memory of the gtw for... not trusting the guys#who put octolings in the shithole underground in the first place?#and 2. It Seems He Is Pretty Aware Now#given that he's up there... chilling... running a stall with his ex-ex-boyfriend...#anyways.#alchohol //
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Lap Pillow
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Confessions of a missed opportunity: I almost had LWJ in purple for this comic.#WWX gives him one of his layers to wear and it's never specified what colour it is.#We all love the red inner robe from CQL (And other illustrations) but sit with me for a moment. Think about LWJ in Jiang Purple.#Right now. Close your eyes and give it 5-10 seconds of rotation in your brain.#Welcome back. It's beautiful isn't it. As I write these notes I am upset that I backed out of going through with it.#I think I will simply have to draw it another time. If we get gusu lan white wwx we *need* yunmeng jiang purple lwj!#Anyways; this comic is the pinnacle of teen wangji's bursting-at-the-seams-emotionality that I love him for.#For my sanity I need that teen losing his mind and following bird rules (get fluffy - get blushy - keep beeping)#He is a loser nerd with a begrudging crush on a boy that he doesn't know how to be normal about.#LWJ seems like your typical 'cool guy love interest' until you realize that he's actually kind of soggy and pathetic.#My favourite lan wangji trait is that he's funny as all hell. I feel like wwx a bit because I had a character epiphany when I realized this
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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