#and i just started crying bc i'll never get to talk to her about it
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navramanan · 10 months ago
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still coping so horribly with the fact that i'm done in the lab
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daiseukiis · 2 years ago
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hii how have you been?
i miss my family 🧍‍♀️
#my mom sent me a video about once your child leaves the mom also needs them#to like be there for them when their mom is stressed when their mom misses them#and i cried for a bit bc i argued with my mom a lot#we didnt see eye to eye but i really do think my mom still thinks of me as her little girl#bc despite not being as close i am to my mom compared to my dad i felt like i had so much burdens for being the eldest and girl#so sometimes i would get upset that my brother would get some special treatment from my mom#idk now i just rlly miss her cuz i miss actly waking up to have brekkie w her#i rlly missed cooking w her b4 i didnt like it bc i thought it was bothersome but now i miss it a lot and her cooking !!!#one of my roommates are husband and wife and i helped cut up the onions and garlic for her bc she started crying from the onions#and then i just completely rmbrd how many times my mom would ask me to help her cook and it makes me miss jmy family !!#i dont rlly get homesick often but i have been in a few arguments w my husband but its like those small quarrels where we're both#tired stressed n feeling defeated like there was no wrong but mentally tapped out#i feel hella lonely tbh ion have many friends outside from me talking to my roommates or my coworkers#and i go once a month to my friends thats an hour and half away but i never mind the travel bc their family treats me well#im supposed to go today but our plans got cancelled and since the travel is far i usually sleepover we were gonna watch a movie !!#we were gonna go watch the mario movie but i might go by myself w my teddy bear#or i'll ask my coworker maybe#but yeah other than that im just trying to survive xoxo im so tired#im also getting so much free cosmetics skincare and fragrances at work that i cant even use all of it#tha shit is displayed on my shelves just cuz#but so excited for my smau heheheheh#༊*·˚ koca has heard your wish#༊*·˚ a kiss of blessing#༊*·˚ a wish upon a goddess#༊*·˚ freddie <3
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cimeriansparrow · 6 months ago
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Sister's therapist called child protective services on my mother!!
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lulunothulu · 3 months ago
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“Jealousy, jealousy”
Tyler Owens x Fem!Reader
Summary: Tyler has tried everything to impress you, yet you're still uninterested...at least he thought you weren't until your jealousy gets the best of you, making you cry.
Content: careless (kinda only bc he’s trying to get your attention) Tyler, jealous!Reader, FLUFF
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GIF credit to @austinbutlermischief I’m so sorry I couldn’t remember who I found this from 😭
Tyler had made it his mission to make you laugh and fall for him.
He’d tried everything.
He took you on a chase, fireworks and all. Nothing.
He’d tried falling over in front of you, and while it warranted a smirk…still nothing.
Tyler was up to his wits end and his ideas were dwindling.
“Why are you trying so hard?” Kate, your colleague and best friend asks him one night.
Tyler was sitting on the other side of a busy parking lot, watching as you and Javi laughed at something Boone had just said.
“I just want her to laugh, to smile really, at me.” He tells her. “I really like her and I just…I feel like she hates me.”
Kate only nods, lips tight.
If only Tyler knew.
You were obsessed with him. Obsessed might’ve been a strong word, but the feeling was mutual. You wanted to tell him how you felt but because you thought he had a thing for Kate, you never did anything to reveal your true feelings.
———
From across the parking lot, you half listen to Javi as he goes on about some tornado data from today. The only thing you can focus on is Tyler and Kate, sitting on the other side and talking.
Tyler looks like he’s having a great time talking to Kate, small smile and leaning back in a chair. He crosses his arms behind his head, biceps bulging under the sleeves of his flannel.
You frown, what could they be talking about?
———
“Is she looking?” Tyler asks Kate. They’d planned on making you so jealous, you had to come over and talk to him.
Kate glances around, making it look like she’s looking around the parking lot and stopping on you. Your face was twisted in what she knew was jealousy—but to others was a thinking face.
She turns back to Tyler, a wide smile on her face. “Oooh yeah, big time.”
“What should I do now?” He asks.
“I’m gonna squeeze your bicep and you’re just gonna smile at me. That’ll get her on her feet,” she tells him, knowing exactly where to strike in order to get your full attention.
She knew you’d been a fan of said arms, veiny and muscular. She knew this would work.
Tyler lowered his arms, bending them as he placed them on his knees. He didn't like using your best friend to get to you, but he had to do what he could in order to get you to react.
Reckless? Maybe, but he was willing to do whatever it took.
Kate's smile as she touched his bicep and squeezed made his stomach turn. That should've been you touching him.
He turns his gaze to where you were sitting and to his surprise, you were standing up.
"This is it, Kate," he tells her. "I think she's coming over."
But as soon as you wave goodbye to Boone, rest of the Tornado Wranglers, and Javi, you speed walk toward the stairs that lead to your motel room.
Tyler's heart drops straight into his ass when he sees you wipe at your cheeks. He'd hurt you.
"Fuck," he mutters.
Kate removes her hand from his bicep and turns in the direction of his gaze. She sucks in a breath and begins to stand. "I should go talk to her."
"No," Tyler says, standing and stopping her by grabbing her arm. "I'll go. I need to make it right and just straight up tell her how I feel."
Tyler turns in the direction of the stairs, walking a few feet before turning back to Kate.
"What room-"
"204," she responds with a smirk. "Go get her, lover boy."
Tyler smiles to himself as he jogs to the stairs, taking two at a time and trying to think of what he should say.
"Y/N, I didn't mean to..." He starts as he walks to your room. "I'm sorry I.... No..."
Finally, 204.
Tyler takes a deep breath before knocking on your door. He hears shuffling and sniffling before hearing your sweet voice asks, "Who is it?"
"It's Tyler," he responds. He can feel his heart breaking at how small and defeated your voice sounds, small and slightly gravelly from crying.
It was his fault you were crying. If he could kick his own ass he would.
When you open the door, your eyes are rimmed red, tear stains running down your cheeks. He watches as your eyes harden on him, lips in a tight line.
"What do you want?" you ask harshly.
———
You didn't mean to cry. Must've been Kate touching Tyler and a mix of you about to start your period that did it. Either way, you were crying over a man that obviously had feelings for your best friend.
So when you heard a knock coming from your motel door, you were expecting Kate, Javi, or literally anyone else.
You did not expect Tyler, face stricken in sadness, to be standing there.
"What do you want?" you asked harshly. Maybe a bit too harshly because he too looked like he wanted to cry.
"I just wanted to check if you were doing okay," he tells you, deep and southern voice velvety soft. "I saw you wiping your eyes on your way up here."
You were stunned, heart pounding in your chest. Tyler noticed you leaving?
"You saw that?" you ask.
"I did," he tells you with a nod and small but reassuring smile. "I notice everything about you."
"Hmm," you hum.
"Anyway," he continues. "I just wanted to see that you were alright...so, are you?"
"Am I what?"
"Alright?"
The look on his face was expectant. It's like he wanted you to be fine. Why?
Instead of asking, you nod. "Yeah, just hormonal I guess."
Tyler's ears redden at that before he clears his throat.
"I can get you some stuff. Do you want something?" he asks. "Anything at all."
"Anything?" you ask, brow raised and smirk forming on your lips.
"Name it and it's yours," he responds, his signature cocky grin appearing.
I'd like you. "I could go for some pizza."
Tyler smiles at you and you have to fight not to smile back, even though that’s all you wanna do right now.
"I'll be right back," Tyler says, starting to walk away. He walks back to ask, "Any particular toppings?"
You shake your head, another snack popping into your mind. "Can I also get some Twizzlers?"
Tyler turns to walk backwards and say, "Of course, Darlin'."
You quickly close the door, feeling the blush creep up your neck. Holy shit, he's gonna be the death of me.
———
Tyler was gone no more than ten minutes and you could tell he ran to get you the pizza and Twizzlers.
He was a panting mess by the time he knocked on your door again.
“I got the stuff you requested, Darlin’,” he drawls, attempting to catch his breath.
“Thank you,” you say, a small smirk appearing on your lips.
He stands there, waiting for you to say something else, but instead, you just smile sweetly at him.
Tyler’s mind was racing, you were actually smiling at him.
“Okay well,” you start, still smiling. “Bye.”
Before he could react, you close the door on him. His face confused and almost…heartbroken.
You walk to your bed, opening the box of pizza and sighing at the first bite.
That’s when you see the small note he’d taped inside.
I’m sorry if I made you cry. Forgive me?
You carefully rip the note off and close the box. Padding back to the door, you open it, fully expecting to run after Tyler.
Only…he never left.
There he was, standing at your door, puppy dog eyes trained on you.
“You never left,” you point out.
“I couldn’t leave without telling you something,” he starts.
“Tyler—”
“Y/N, just listen,” he interrupts. “I’ve been trying to get your attention, hell even just a smile, from you for the past few weeks. What you saw out there,” he points to the parking lot. “Was me trying the last thing I thought would grab your attention. I never meant to make you cry.”
Tyler shakes his head, rubbing his chin. “I just wanted you to react. Kate said that that would be the best way to get your attention and I just went along with it. Don’t blame her, if anything blame me. I feel so ter-”
You stop him, pressing your hand on his lips. Stepping closer to him and wrapping your arms around his neck.
You didn’t know what you were doing until it was too late.
You kiss his cheek, his scruff prickling your lips.
“Do you want to come inside for some pizza?” You ask. “This really hot pizza man just brought it so it’s still warm.”
Tyler breaks into a smile at you calling him hot.
“Of course.”
Next part
A/N: this was kinda bad BUT I really like this idea so I’m sorry lol 🥹
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love-belle · 1 year ago
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you got me thinking nonsense !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which heartbreak led to her real love and she'd be damned if she didn't make sure everyone knows that.
or
for when they're everything to you. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader
prequel - light as a feather ⋆·˚ ༘ *
warnings - language
author's note - posting this i simply couldn't resist!!! i'll try my HARDEST to post carlos' version of shout out to my ex tonight but if not then tomorrow fs <3 thank u so much for reading, i love u <3
taglist - @marsdreamworld @eviethetheatrefreak @22yuki @incoherenciass @bb-swift @willowpains @lordperceval-16 (tagging all those who asked for part ii <3)
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by pierregasly, f1updates, exwagsclub and 79,726 others
paddock.club y/n y/l/n and charles leclerc spark dating rumours as they were seen out on a "date", which were further confirmed as the couple shared a kiss. for weeks, y/l/n and leclerc have been having coy and not-so-platonic interactions on social media and fans have speculated that these two are more just friends. this news comes after y/n's break up with a fellow driver of charles and while neither y/n or her ex have commented on this, it's clear that they didn't have a clean break up as there were rumours of cheating surrounding the ex. for more details, click on the link in our bio.
tagged charles_leclerc yourusername
589 comments
username LMFAOAOOA THE WAY LANDO ISN'T EVEN MENTIONED HERE
username "the ex" ur so right he's not worth mentioning 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
username olivia was talking abt lando when she sang "some weird second string loser who's not worth mentioning"
*liked by oliviarodrigo*
username my true parents fr ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username she looks sooo happy with him im so happy for her
username love how none of yes are surprised like we all saw this coming
username the way l*ndo isn't even mentioned ONCE like that's what u get for cheating babes!!!!!!!!!
username CHARLES AND Y/N FUCK YEA
username she genuinely looks so much happier with charles like this is the type of relationship she deserved ❤️
username IM ❤️ SO ❤️ HAPPY ❤️ FOR ❤️ THEM ❤️
username no bc there was no way they thought that they'd be able to convince us that they weren't together
username istg i see one person comment some out of pocket shit im SWINGING
username l*ndo's crying rn like i can Feel it
username no bc HOW'D he pull 😭😭😭😭😭
-> username fr like u put him near y/n he starts malfunctioning
-> username no bc that one interview where he forgot his own team's name js bc y/n walked past him is LIVING proof
username i know the driver's gc is WILDIN rn
username see now idk who to be jealous of
-> username the only correct answer is both
username no bc IMAGINE THE SONGS SHE'LL WRITE ABOUT HIM!!!!!!
username pretty people (y/n and charles) ruining it for the ugly people (me) by getting together
username oh so he got GAME
username everyone bffr y/n was probably the one who took the initiative
username guys stop with all the l*ndo slander comments i can't like them all
username charles leclerc i will never forgive u for taking my wife
username im sooooOOOOooo normal about this. ha fucking ha.
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, carmenmmundt and 2,792,712 others
yourusername nonsense is now yours!!! i wrote this song on my very close friend's bedroom's floor and i can officially say that this is the most unhinged song i have ever written :) i love u all sooo much i could cry <3 (charles_leclerc be my personal photographer pls ❤️)
15,628 comments
username HELLO?????? PLEASE IM CRYING WHAT IS THIS SONG AND WHY IS IT MAKING ME CRY AND HORNY
username IM TALKIN OPPOSITE OF SOFT?????? Y/N?????????
username nah she's unhinged
username "on my very close friend's bedroom's floor" BABE WE KNOW
username how quickly can u take ur clothes off pop quiz 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
-> username oh she's wild for adding this
username IN LOVE WITH THE OUTRO
username PLEASE touch some grass and meditate
georgerussell63 wish i never heard it but cool beats x
-> yourusername i too wish u never heard it but thank u russell george x
username i know sebastian texted her after this
*liked by yourusername*
username okayyyy so at least he's winning off the track
-> username OH UR SO WRONG FOR THIS
username at least my girl's getting some good dick y'all leave her alone
username im a changed woman after hearing this song
username u gotta keep up with me!!!!! i got some young energy!!!!!!! i caught the l-o-v-e!!!! why do u do this to me!!!!!!!
username i know charles is blasting the SHIT out of this sin anthem (encouraging)
-> username PLEASE NOT SIN ANTHEM
lilymhe when will you write a song like this about me :/
-> yourusername if u would like i can show u????
-> lilymhe i'm On my way!
-> alex_albon STOP I'M STILL HERE
-> yourusername alex look away
-> charles_leclerc i'm
-> yourusername u too babe look AWAY
-> username BABE
-> username DID SHE JS CONFIRM IT FR FR
username said u like my eyes????? AND u like to make them roll??????
-> username if someone said that to me i would be AT the altar in most white dress ever
username charles won at life fr
username WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABT HOW GOOD SHE LOOKS IN THESE PHOTOS
-> username my heart stopped she's so barbie coded
charles_leclerc nice song
-> yourusername thank u
charles_leclerc any particular muse behind this?
-> yourusername js this cool guy i've been seeing
-> charles_leclerc "cool" huh? 😏😏😏😏🤪🤪🤪🤪🤗🤗🤗🤗🫡🫡🫡🫡🥶🥶🥶🥶😩😩😩😩🤧🤧🤧🤧☺️☺️☺️☺️😘😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰🥰😚😚😚😚
-> yourusername yes charles u are cool
-> username MY GOD SOMEONE TAKE AWAY THIS MAN'S PHONE
-> username y/n be honest does he blush and giggle when u call him a pet name????
-> yourusername what do u think
-> username I KNEW IT OMG
charles_leclerc if the person in front of the camera is you, i will gladly be behind the camera for the rest of my life.
-> yourusername the most romantic thing u have ever said to me
-> charles_leclerc that's not true
-> yourusername u called me a chameleon yesterday
-> charles_leclerc because you wear a different shade of eye colour everyday
-> yourusername eye shadow* baby
-> charles_leclerc okay :D
-> username WHO IS THIS MAN
-> username nah he's GONE for her
≡;- ꒰ twitter ꒱
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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, arthur_leclerc and 1,538,976 others
charles_leclerc she wrote a song for me and while it wasn't the most romantic one, the sentiment is still appreciated. y/n, i adore you completely, even if you spend more time with my mom than you do with me. mon cœur ❤️ ( my heart )
tagged yourusername
12,629 comments
username im
username js gonna leave yeah (ABSHDHDJSJJSSJ)
username what do u MEAN charles is in love and what do u MEAN that it's not with me (i love them both sm)
username okayyyy she wrote how much she loves u and ur little thing that's the MOST romantic thing ever
-> username nah bestie given the way she wrote the song im not it's *little*
*liked by yourusername*
-> username GIRL PLEASE WHY ARE U LURKING
username i love them both so much
carlossainz55 you two make me nauseous but it's been a long time coming 🤍 happy for you both !!
-> charles_leclerc thank you for your approval <3
-> carlossainz55 had to make sure you'd treat her better 🤷
-> username "treat her better" is speaking VOLUMES
-> username i love carlos so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username y/n being the grid's favourite is my aesthetic 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
username I LOVE THEM SOOO MUCH THEY'RE MY PARENTS LIKE AJSJSKSKSJKSKKS
username "mon cœur" can u hear me SCREAMING 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
username they genuinely deserve all the happy things in life like im SO fr
username ferrari better get their shit in order bc i know that if they fuck up again y/n is fr gonna destroy them and idk if that's gonna be by words or by a song or she's straight up gonna fist fight them
*liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and carlossainz55*
danielricciardo at least she writes you songs, she writes me threatening messages
-> yourusername U CALLED ME THAT MCDONALD'S CLOWN
-> charles_leclerc i'm not gonna intervene
-> danielricciardo BECAUSE YOU LOOKED LIKE ONE
-> yourusername THAT'S JS CHARLES NOT ME
-> charles_leclerc i am going to intervene
username im so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ about them
username i just fell to the floor what the fuck
username IM SOOOOOOOOO *cries*
lewishamilton 🫶🏼
*liked by charles_leclerc*
username i KNOW lando is pulling at his hair rn
username THAT NOTE OH MY GOD
username pls god when will it be me
username im so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
yourusername wdym "u said u like my eyes and u like to make em roll" is not romantic
-> charles_leclerc the most romantic thing i have ever heard in my eye
-> yourusername ❤️
yourusername i love ur mom
-> charles_leclerc i know
-> leclerc_pascale mon ange 😘
-> yourusername MAMA LECLERC ❤️❤️❤️
-> charles_leclerc and i'm right here...
yourusername cannot wait to write songs for u my entire life
-> charles_leclerc cannot wait to compose piano pieces for you 😘
-> username IM SCREAMING
-> username WHAT DO U MEAN HE COMPOSES PIANO PIECES FOR HER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username they're so
username i would give anything to have a love like that 😭😭😭😭😭
username im crying.
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by charles_leclerc, lorenzotl, lilymhe and 2,975,327 others
yourusername looking at u got me thinking nonsense!!!!!!!!!!! also special thanks to landonorris bc if not for him i wouldn't have met the love of my life so thanks dude even if ur a prepubescent piece of shit
tagged charles_leclerc
18,629 comments
username IM HOWLING WHAT THE FUCK
username THE TAG THE CAPTION
username prepubescent piece of shit will forever be engraved in my brain ❤️
username LMFAOAOAOAO
username y/n y/m/n y/l/n u will always be famous
username IM CRYINF WHAT THEBFUCK
lewishamilton both of you 💕
-> yourusername we love u lewis <3
username she will never let l*ndo live in peace and i love her sm for that
username i just cackled out loud why is she so funny
username SHE'S SOOOO UNSERIOUS
username i js know charles is MADLY in love with her bc HOW can u not be
username she's so unhinged. i love her.
username screaming
lilymhe i thought we were something
-> yourusername babygirl u own my heart and 4ever will
-> alex_albon wow.
-> charles_leclerc oh my god
username they're so adorable 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username THEM
username no bc charles deffo manifested this shit like imagine having a crush on someone for YEARS and then they date ur friend but the friend cheats on them and u end up together like woahh wildddd
-> username and then they write a song about u
-> username AND THEN THEY WRITE A SONG ABOUT U
oscarpiastri a scream just erupted from *his* driver's room
*liked by yourusername*
-> username target audience reached 🫡
username stop with the l*ndo hate comments i seriously CANNOT like them all
username i would do anything to go to a driver's meeting ANYTHING
maxverstappen1 nice caption
-> yourusername thank u :) an angry dutch proof read this
username max proof reading this caption is sooo funny like omg
-> username they're truly destroying his peace and i respect them so much
username i truly cannot wait for the next race
username NO BC DID SOMEONE SEE THAT CLIP WHERE NONSENSE PLAYED IN THE PADDOCK WHILE LANDO WAS THERE AND HE LOOKED SO 😒😒😒😒😒😒
-> username LMFAOAOAOA THAT WAS HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY
-> username truly a cinematic piece ❤️
charles_leclerc was the first photo necessary
-> yourusername absolutely like look at my man ❤️
charles_leclerc looking at YOU got ME thinking nonsense
-> yourusername stop im blushing
charles_leclerc i thought we'd be nice
-> yourusername no YOU'D be nice i'd be mean
-> charles_leclerc okay amour ( my love )
charles_leclerc i love you ❤️
-> yourusername i caught the l-o-v-e
-> yourusername i love you more ❤️
username IM SOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username charles and y/n ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username me when.
3K notes · View notes
sheastri · 4 months ago
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Can I Call You Rose? ft. ln4
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Pairing: lando norris x fem!black reader
Genre: Social Media AU + Story
Summary: In which the reader grew up in a household where she was never able to express herself properly due to her father. Lando heals her inner child and helps her experience all the things she wasn't able to when she was younger.
Warning(s): None.
A/N: No specific facecast, just the gorgeous black girls of pinterest!!
Also please send requests, whether they're movie based, book based, song based, or even original. Spill your brains and I'll bring the ideas to life the best I can.
Dedicated to all the young girls around the world growing up with immigrant parents who they knew loved them but didn't know how to show it. You will find someone who allows you to express yourself and heals you inside out.
୨୧–------------------------------------------୨୧
Flashback To Y/n's Childhood
13 years ago
Y/n had just turned 10 years old and was excited to celebrate her birthday. Her mother had suggested they all go out and grab dinner at a restaurant of her choice as her birthday treat. They were at home getting ready and just about to leave when her father had said something.
He had insulted her mother and she knew immediately that it would prompt a whole argument so she grabbed the car keys. She made sure to tell her sister, who immediately followed behind her, before she went outside to the car to wait for their parents.
When everyone had gotten in the car it was dead silent. Nobody spoke a word until her father attempted to break the silence with a joke, not an apology, a joke.
Her mother had laughed and went back to speaking to her father like nothing had happened. Y/n and her sister had looked at each other before going back to their phones. Out of nowhere her father begin to go on a rant, well yapping spree, about how this generation was always on their phones and started to talk about how his life growing up in Jamaica was.
Both her and her sister laughed as their mother commented on his very animated story and the atmosphere felt lighter, as though everyone could breathe again. They laughed and conversed until they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, Olive Garden.
It wasn't giving birthday dinner but Y/n's been craving it for weeks now, the only reason they couldn't go was because of her dad. He didn't like their food and made sure to make it known. He had eaten something before they left so she could hopefully enjoy just eating her food.
They ordered and while they were waiting her dad decided that he needed to complain more. He started with a joke about how she kind of left him to starve and how next time she should be more considerate. Her mother laughed and her sister spoke up about how she didn't like Olive Garden that much either.
Y/n eventually excused herself to the bathroom and went into a stall deciding to just cry. Safe to say her 10th birthday was ruined.
Alexa play "Can I Call You Rose".
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y/nsdiary ya'll the view is next level 🤭
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whosimani girlll you so fine, lemme take you out and treat you right.
y/nsdiary time and place babes username she is thirstyyy username shii I can't even blame her
username hold on a minute bc which view is homegirl talking about??
username idk but all of them are looking gooddd
username ik thats not a whole man up on my wife's bed half naked...
username no right... hope he knows hes sleeping in my reserved spot y/nsdiary hes just warming up the bed for you, trustt username nah bc im distraught
username its so much going on right neoww
username y/n and imani serving as per usual
username ok but what are max and lando doing up in these likes??
username i was js about to say... username i mean y/n's been invited to a race before maybe they're just friends?
username Can I call you Rose? 'Cause you're sweet like a flower in bloom…
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landonorris the view is just spectacular
y/n'sdiary this man is who i'd be if i never had an original thought in my life
username not her clocking himmm oscarpiastri GAGGED username lando are u js gonna let oscar and y/n eat you up like this??
username whos the girl in the last picture??
username are we not going to talk about how oscar is looking like a snack in that picture??
username now wait a damn minute...
whosimani whos the smoking hot chick in the last photo🫦
landonorris shes all mine ↪ username my heart just broke into a million tiny pieces ↪username nah wdym by this lando??
username Can I call you Rose? 'Cause you're fragrance takes over the room...
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I Wanna Plant You in my Heart, Oh, So Love Can Grow
Y/n and Imani had bought tickets to attend the Miani Grand Prix since they happened to be in town. Y/n wasn't so much as interested in formula one as Imani was so she was pretty much just tagging along for the ride. It was Thursday and they had come in for what was known as "a pit-lane walk" because Imani had wanted an oppurtunity to talk to some of her favorite drivers. Most notable were Oscar Piastri and Lewis Hamilton. Y/n, personally was a Lando girl. She wasn't a hardcore fan but she tuned in every once in a while and used social media to keep up with everything going on within the formula one community. They were walking around when someone bumped right into y/n knocking the cold matcha out of her hand. It had gotten over her and the opposing force. She looked up, feathers a bit ruffled and was jumpscared, mostly because she expected some rando, with the face of Lando Norris. They were both frozen for a bit before he helped her up. After he had helped her though he stared at her for a long time and she just averted her gaze before accidentally getting caught in his eyes. She let out a soft laugh at the situation before apologizing. Lando's eyes momentarily widened before he quickly began to stutter out apologies. Y/n just laughed at his nervousness before he offered to help her find some clean clothes. Y/n looked at Imani who had given her a thumbs up before giving her that look with her eyebrows raised which made Y/n let out a soft sigh. She took Lando up on the offer and they walked off. Many people looked up at them seeing them both giddy and drenched in Matcha. The upcoming weekend Lando had won and joked with Y/n about having her come and visit again along with a cup of matcha in hand.
Can I Call You Rose? 'Cause Your Thorns Won't Let Blood In Too Soon
It had been almost 2 months since the incident and since then Lando and Y/n had kept in contact. At the moment Lando was trying to convince Y/n to go to the beach and have dinner with him but as more than friends. Y/n had turned the idea down due to being scared of the prospect of a romatic relationship. Eventually due to a bit of convincing from Imani and communicating her feelings to Lando directly she had given him a chance. She had dressed up in a cute pink two piece in which she wore her swimsuit under. She had 2 gold necklaces stacked on top of eachother, one shorter than the other along with some lightly colored bangals. Her makeup was pretty light and she had on strawberry sceneted perfume. She heared the doorbell ring and rushed down with her purse before taking a deep breath and fixing up her hair. She opened the door and was met with a giant boquet of pink flowers. Lando angled the flowers in his arms so that he could make himself visable but also be able to take in her look. If the weight of the flowers hadn't kept him grounded he would've thought he had died, had ascended to the heavens, and had seen an angel. He took her in with all his five senses. His eyes had been blessed, his ears had the pleasure of being able to listen to her soft voice, his hands had the ability to caress and hold hers, his nose was able to take in the scent of strawberry that surrounded her, and his mouth was able to taste wonderful cooking. He never wanted to depart from her. She invited him in and had him place the flowers on the dining table until she came home later to figure out where to place them around her house. He held out his hand for her and led her to his car.
"What a gentleman you are tonight Mr. Norris." Y/n teased with a soft smile on her face.
"Only for you Mrs. Norris." Lando teased back earning him a soft slap from Y/n.
They ate at the restaurant first before going to the Beach soon after. It was late evening but the sun still had yet to set. Y/n wore a swimsuit but didn't plan on going in the water. She had brought a book. It was more out of habit since she was stuck watching her siblings play instead of being able to enjoy the trip. Lando had gotten into his swimsuit and wasted no time jumping in the water before coming out a bit after. He gave her a look with his eyebrow raised and she immediately got up, book long forgotten, and began to run. He chased her for a while, letting her think she was getting away before sneaking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her torso.
"Lando, no. Don't do this to me." Y/n had said dramatically while dying of laughter, already out of breath from all the running.
"Sorry love, it had to be done." Lando says laughing as he now moves one his arms under her legs and runs into the ocean.
After they were both soaked and tired but for Lando the most important thing was that Y/n had fun.
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y/nsdiary meet mr. totally in love with me
landonorris and proudly so
y/nsdiary u tryna be the patrick to my kat? ↪ landonorris always baby username well damn, i love this for herrrr username glad to see that shes being treated like a queen
whosimani ya'll are cute ig
y/nsdiary like she didn't tear up when i told her the news
username ouhh i see you girl
username the famed caption stealer
mclaren can't wait to see you guys in the paddock again soon!
y/nsdiary cant wait to be back!!
username I js know he lets her embrace her inner child
whosimani AND DOES!!
username Can I call you Rose? 'Cause your roots have the power to consume...
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landonorris Meet Mrs. Norris. The woman of my hours, my days, my years, and hopefully my forever. There is never a day spent in her arms in which I lack love. I thank my God for you every time I think of you and I hope that you know that you are the pinnicale of my existence.
y/nsdiary nah because you have me over here trying not to sob, you couldn't have waited till I wasn't out?
landonorris nope, the world needed to know how deeply rooted in my heart you are ↪ username thats it, im never settling username girl js like me fr, i do not need those people knowing im a crybaby ↪ liked by y/nsdiary
username my girl just looked at me and sighed
username just looked at my bf and sighed
maxvertsappen1 my gf wants to hang out with your wife.
landonorris sorry shes never leaving the house again ↪ y/nsdiary Mr. Norris, dont make me beat you up again. y/nsdiary I WOULD LOVE TOOO
username I love them together so badddd
username I wanna plant you in my heart, oh, so loving grow
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And that's all folks, follow for more amazing stories!! Remember to leave suggestions in my box!
Please like and reblog, not necessary but would help out!!
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strwberri-milk · 4 months ago
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Hi! How are you? i would like to request about Mc remember her past life, and she goes really overwhelmed about it...to the point that when she sees Rafayel, she gave her a kiss. The first one for them. And obviously he melts for the kiss. Smut
the way you just ended the ask with Smut. reminds me of that video where the guy just goes "Belt" also i didnt feel like going the whole smut route - if you want the smut hoestly, id say you can just look at this bc soft smut hcs are the direction i'd take here <3 maybe one day i'll write a full fledged fic but rn i have my hands full w boothill [pensive]
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The dreams you had were slowly getting more and more realistic. You didn't quite understand why or how they were starting to come about but you first brushed them off as just that - dreams. You didn't think that there was anything too serious about them until one day you suddenly get the sense that everything you're dreaming about is somehow real.
Rafayel was on a business trip so unfortunately you couldn't even talk to him about this, struggling with these emotions yourself as you try to sift through them. Somehow, your dreams line up with the things he teases you about and you start to wonder if he knows something or if it's some weird after effect of being reincarnated?? You can't figure it out and you don't want to blow up his phone with your ramblings so you keep it to yourself until he comes home.
He shows up at your door, beginning to tell you about how he wasn't even able to go home because he missed you so much, wanting to see you right now when you look at him with tears in your eyes. He's startled to say the least, panicking a little as he asks you why you're crying when you suddenly grab him, kissing him hard.
He melts into your touch, desperate to feel your touch. He's always wanted you, always wanted to be with you but never thought that you felt the same. He just prayed and hoped that one day you would remember, that he'd be lucky enough to be with you. Even if you don't remember he doesn't mind losing himself in you like this right now, closing the door behind him as you lead him to your bedroom.
He takes you passionately, keeping you on your back and doing his best to make you cry from ecstasy. He repeats over and over how much he loves you with each bucking of his hips, kissing you breathless and telling you he's wanted you from the moment he saw you. He showers you with attention, bringing you to the peak over and over again. He's insatiable, desperate for you to feel good because of him and making up for lost time.
You're exhausted and barely coherent by the time he's done but he holds you so close. You can hear the beating of his heart in your ear, memorising the sound as you remember that it was taken from you before. You confess quietly what you've seen, the things you remember. He holds his breath, looing at you desperately as he asks if you really remember. When you confirm he holds you so tightly, telling you to rest for now and then the two of you can discuss what's next at another time.
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morganitering · 10 months ago
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Because I'm the Weakest II: The Women Who Never Won
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Pairings/character dynamics: Satosugu, Shoko and reader, Nanami and reader, implied shoko x utahime
Contains and warnings: DARK FIC/DEAD DOVE fem!reader, Suicidal ideation, rape aftermath, referenced rape (not written out in this chap), depression, alcohol abuse, misogyny & sexism, internalized sexism, sexual harassment on minors done by minors, victim blaming (thoughts), self harm, angst, hurt & comfort, I call noncon with the official word for it
Word count: ~9,6k
Summary: There's certain desperation when you try to keep your head above water. You were drowning and all you wanted to do was to forget, the weight on your shoulders unbearable. Despite the cards you were dealt with you found yourself among allies as the web of untold memories started to unfold.
A/N: Hey! Yall waited long for this, sorry about that. I have no idea how to tag this but I'll just do it somehow, bc this is a tricky chapter. Here yall get to dive deeper in the stuff that has gone down before the events that took place in 1st chap and get a hug from Shoko. This is hopefully the last installment of this. Read the tags carefully as always and make informed decisions based on that and take care of yourself. Shit can get heavy, but I'm trying to do this in good taste.
Read on ao3 part I
Shoko Ieiri had worked a long time with people who suffered. She had seen it all, limbs cut off, even the toughest of sorcerers reduced to crying messes as they practically had their innards falling to the floor. There’s something utterly horrifying watching a patient, no – a friend scream in pain when even her skills were not enough. Funerals came and went, the white sheet thrown over the deceased on the operation table in the same routine way she’d change her linens. Nothing really shocked her. 
That’s what she liked to think. 
Your visits have been more frequent. It started with bruises and sprained ankles. Then it was broken bones that soon turned to puncture wounds, your clothes sticky with deep red and dirt. When she asked about it, you laughed it off saying it’s nothing, just a silly little mishap, “I was too reckless in the heat of the moment.”  But your eyes were empty, your words hollow like a dead tree. Of course Shoko did her job, without asking too much. You’re an adult and you’ll speak about it if you want to, right? Her job was to keep you alive. Your job was to exorcise curses. 
Shoko and you had been close too, hanging out with the two men, but at some point in high school she had withdrawn from the group. Gojo and Geto had tried to keep in touch with her in adulthood, inviting her as well to spend time together as the four of them, but she had always declined, smoothly changing their relationship to acquaintances at best. She heard enough of the despicable men from you. The only times she was in direct contact with Gojo and Geto was work related and god how she hoped that it would stay that way. She’ll play that pretend game almost happily. 
Shoko closed the office door the day turning to evening, sundown coloring the city in hues of orange and yellow. She held onto her little black purse, thankfully it was friday. A man stood on the long corridor, standing upright as if he did not belong here. He looked indifferent, almost bored.
“Nanami.” 
“Ieiri.” 
They greeted each other with a curt nod. 
“So what brings you here? You seem healthy enough,” Shoko asked as they walked to the open parking lot, only a few cars in sight. The warm summer sun caressed her cheeks, wind making her long hair flow in waves.
“I think she’s going through something,” Nanami stated as a matter of fact talking about you. He and you had gone on missions together, but something about you wasn’t right. He had seen the way you clutch your weapon, throw yourself at the enemy recklessly almost as if you had a death wish. It’s like you waited for your end. 
“No shit.” Shoko chuckled amused. It was as clear as a day if you just had eyes on yourself. “Why do you care?” 
“I’ve seen enough people spiral to know where it leads. You’re a healer, can’t you help?” His voice was thoughtful, not betraying a hint of emotions. 
“I can’t help a person who doesn’t want it,” Shoko said. “But I’ll try to figure something out.” 
“And that is enough. Thank you.” 
***
You hated meetings and rarely took part in them if you could avoid them. You had not met Gojo or Geto after the unfortunate night. If there were some work related things where there was a possibility to meet either of the men, you requested to be part of them remotely or that someone would just forward the key points. But after doing this for a few months Yaga had sent you a passive-aggressive email writing that it is absolutely mandatory for you to show yourself at least once in a while. You didn’t bother to answer him with anything other than a polite see you there.
Honestly you were tired. Your whole body ached in overexertion. Sleep escaped from you, ran a marathon around the block never stopping at your house, and every time you seemed to catch a break, hazy images you rather forbid being real filled your vision. Your eyebags told a story of exhaustion, your body shrinking in every possible way away. You went to see a doctor, not Shoko, just some normal practitioner from the private sector that you ended up paying yourself sick for. 
The doctor gave you pills to help you with sleep. He asked you if you were stressed or going through some sorts of crisis. You answered with a diligent no and explained that you’ve always had issues with sleep, but you were otherwise okay. He looked at you, raising his eyebrow in suspicion, the glasses on his head hung on his nose by a thread. He decided to believe you as he wrote the prescription, but insisted you took home pamphlets about depression and crisis hotlines. 
You tried the pills. You did fall asleep, but only after a panic attack wrecked through your body as the effect of the medication forced you into a deep slumber. The pills made you feel your pulse in your whole body. “It’s a quite strong product, previously used to treat psychosis, but nowadays it’s for patients with severe insomnia. Take it one hour before sleep. The effect might be really sudden.”  
When you woke up you decided to throw them away. It’s better to not to sleep if it meant that you’d go free from the horrors of the night you had experienced. 
The huge meeting table sprawled out horizontally and was able to sit around fifteen people in it. It had several small electric outlets for computers and tablets. Light poured in from the big windows, the blinds only halfway done. You stared at the weird scribbling on the white board that Principal Yaga was wiping furiously, muttering things about how students shouldn’t be let in this room under any circumstance since they can’t differentiate which markers are okay to use on it. 
You exchanged pleasantries with him. The room was devoid of people since you were too early. You swung your leather bag on the back of the upholstered office chair and sat yourself down.
Shoko walked in and her face lit up a little bit when she saw you sitting there. It was subtle, you thought that you were maybe the only one who could differentiate that expression from her. She sat next to you, a faint hint of neroli wrapping you to its calming aroma. 
Next came Meimei and then Utahime who came running to you two giving a happy hug to Shoko. They were so cute together, you thought to yourself as you fidgeted with your slightly too big shoes, constantly removing them and pushing them back to your feet. People don’t usually like small talk, but nonetheless the group chatted with each other. They had to, because it’s polite and you were coworkers. You thought that small talk was easy. The script of it was burnt to your brains for the rest of your life. You get to keep people at an arm's length and keep up appearances, so what’s there not to like? 
A familiar blonde man stood in the doorway. You checked your phone for the time. Only five minutes before the official start. Yuki also appeared after Nanami.  
“Hello,” he said and nodded at you as he sat himself next to you. Your whole body stiffened around him. It was hard to look him in the eyes and even harder to work missions with.
It was ten minutes past the official time when the meeting was supposed to start. 
“Sorry we are late.” Two men marched in the room with confident strides and took their place in front of you facing you, that was sitting in between Nanami and Shoko, Utahime next to the doctor. Suguru sat down next to Yuki leaving a space for Satoru who had Meimei next to him. 
Hearing Suguru’s voice made your skin crawl. 
“It’s fine,” Yaga said and looked over his shoulder to look at the white screen he had pulled down earlier with only a blue screen reflecting on the fabric. “I can’t seem to get this work anyway,” he mumbled. 
“Do you need help?” Suguru walked over to the man struggling over his laptop. “Have you checked the HDMI-cable?” 
“Of course I have, I just don’t understand why it won't work. We have Ijichi remote today,” he muttered partially to himself.  
“Let me.” 
You sat fidgeting on your chair focusing on everything else than the two men and their presence that suffocated you. If you were a candle they’d be snuffing you out but not properly, no, that would be too kind. They’d always let enough air in so that you’d never be completely put out. 
“Hello to you girls.. and Nanami,” Satoru flashed a playful grin at the four of you. Your head jerked involuntarily to look at the man. Thank god he has a habit of covering his eyes, but somehow that made him even worse. 
“Hello. How are you?” Nanami nodded politely. 
“I’m well. Hopefully the work isn’t stressing you out too much.” Satoru’s smile widened. 
“Speaking of work, I’ve heard that you and her have started doing missions together,” Satoru nudged his head towards you as he spoke directly to Nanami. “I actually green lighted the idea of sorcerers working more together. It’s good to practice teamwork and I put in good words for the two of you, since you compliment each other with the techniques you have. ” Satoru moved his head to look your way as he drew out his words in a way that you’d be sure to catch the dual meaning.
The wall flashed a few times showing the computer screen and it’s default wallpaper for only a moment and after that went back to blue. 
“An idea that I actually can get behind,” Nanami said agreeably. 
Your eye twitched. 
“Really? That was your doing?” You barely hid the anger of your voice. One more push and you’d pour your life savings on an amoral hitman, not that you’d believe that anyone could finish him off. It was a thought just for you so you could at least think about being mean in your own petty way. 
“Not a fan of working in groups of two? How about in groups of three?” 
“You fucking piece of-” 
“Okay I think it’s working now,” Yaga put his hands together straightening himself properly. Suguru walked over to Satoru, slightly shaking his head before he sat down. You heard Utahime’s quiet “okayy..” whispered in the awkward silence. 
“Unfortunately principal Gakuganji wasn’t able to make it today, he’s sick or something.”
You heard Gojo scoff audibly. 
“Try to respect him.” Yaga shot a glare in the young teacher’s way. 
“Ijichi and Nitta have gathered data about the hotspots of cursed activity,” he continued and opened up the window to teams only to be greeted by a tired looking black haired man in a suit. The background behind him was red, it looked like some type of wallpaper and small paintings covered the walls. You reckoned it was a hotel room. Or a motel, you really could not tell. 
“Ijichi, do you hear me? Would you like to take over?” Yaga’s voice boomed louder as if he wasn’t already near his computer. 
The grainy picture of the tired man smiling uncomfortably stayed still a little too long to be taken as a real time reaction to Yaga’s question. 
“I hear you. Sorry, the connection here is a bit bad.” Ijichi’s voice echoed in the office room. The picture of a slideshow appeared on the wall, making Ijichi’s face smaller. 
The map of Tokyo loomed on the wall as everyone stared at it intensely, more or less dozing off. Some parts of it had big red circles on them and Ijichi explained the way these places were having exceptionally heavy activity. He reckoned that partially the rise in activity tied to the sorcerers working more missions together leaving less people available. Ijichi also showed statistics comparing the effectiveness of sorcerers based in Tokyo and Kyoto. 
You were about to lose your mind, your body still pumping adrenaline after the conversation with Gojo. Everyone else seemed to be bored, oblivious to your struggle. Satoru had yawned at least three times in the last ten minutes, Shoko and Utahime were both interested in their nails. Even Suguru looked tired and he was pretty good at hiding his thoughts. The only ones who did not look outwardly dead inside were Yaga and Nanami. 
“Thank you Ijichi for your hard work,” Yaga said and Ijichi nodded smiling. The pop up of the slideshow vanished from the screen leaving Ijichi’s face in a huge resolution looming onto the wall. 
“We are going to take in account the effects of pairing up sorcerers. I’m not entirely in charge of how long this trial will take,” Yaga said. “Ieiri has this trial affected the health care aspect in any way?” 
Shoko cleared her throat tapping open the ipad in front of her, her nails making a satisfying click click sound. 
“The injuries have lessened,” she started. That’s good, you thought. “But the severity has increased,” she said with a serious face.
“Why is that?” Principal scrunched his eyebrows together. 
“In my professional opinion it is due to people being more brazen when having a partner. This can be seen especially in lower grade sorcerers, who are prone to believing that they are invincible when someone backs them up.” Everyone had turned to look at the doctor who played with her hair idly as she spoke. 
“And the second grade and up?”
“It happens less. But there are some, even first grade sorcerers, who are accident prone,” Shoko said and quickly looked at you, not long enough for others to pick up on that she was speaking about you.
Gojo’s phone rang in the middle of the conference. He left the room with an apology and never came back. Relief and anger ignited in you playing tug of war in your heart as your eyes followed him bitterly.
“I think this is all. I’ll send everyone the upcoming jobs, but if no one has anything to say, I think we can conclude this meeting here,” Yaga said, the choir of thank yous and goodbyes filling the room. 
You stretched yourself, happy to be on your feet again. 
“Hey, can we talk?” Nanami tried to get your attention. 
You stood in the room that was quickly emptying out of people. Shoko awkwardly hung around in a small distance from you and Nanami, trying to pretend that she wasn’t listening to your conversation. 
“I don’t entirely understand the conversation between you and Gojo, but if I have somehow disrespected you I offer my deepest apologies.” Nanami’s voice was soft. Your heart ached as you realized how bad your words must have appeared to him. 
“I’m so sorry. It’s not about you. You’ve done nothing..” You trailed off as you saw the tall curse eating man walk outside with a sly smile on his lips.
“That’s a relief but if I may be so blunt, I have a hunch that there is something bothering you,” Nanami said. 
You looked at him and chewed your lower lip nervously. This was all their fault. If they had not done what they did, you would not be in this position. The least they could have done is to keep the names of people you know out of their mouths. 
“I’m sorry to leave you hanging like this, but can we finish this conversation later?” You  hurried past him, only hearing Nanami mumble the word ‘sure’ like a kicked puppy and you said goodbye to Shoko agreeing on staying in touch with her.
The corridor was almost empty as you walked through the school building frantically searching for that bastard of a man. Your footsteps echoed on the wood as you arrived at a not so well known exit of the building. Geto stood in front of the dual doors, half heartedly pushing it open as he furiously wrote something on his phone. 
You yelled out his name, but he did not bother to react to you. You closed in on the man that was still standing back towards you. Anger surged in you as adrenaline made you braver than what you normally would be. You were supposed to just grab the ends of his hair that were sprawled across his back, but in the heat of the moment your impulse control had another lapse as you kept on raising your hand. A fist closed around the bun that had been carefully crafted on his scalp and you dug your fingers around the hair tie and then yanked, hard. 
“What the hell are you doing?!” He turned around stepping out of the doorway letting it close properly with a thump and he closed the distance between you for good. His eyes shot daggers at you. 
“You did not pay attention to me.” You shook your hand out of the spare strands that were stuck on your palm and offered the small hair tie back to him. 
“Well you got it now,” he hissed. “You can keep that as a souvenir. I don’t want anything that a filthy bitch like you has touched,” he said, the calm composure nowhere in sight. 
A filthy bitch? Really? Then maybe you should break up with Satoru if this is your deal breaker.. That’s what you wanted to say, but you held back your tongue. 
Geto took a deep breath, calming himself down, slipping on the mask that you were more used to seeing. He put his phone back in his pocket.
“What do you want?” 
“You told me,” you started, tears threatening to flow over. “You told me that I can just leave and do whatever I want. Why do you keep tormenting me? Why do you let Gojo do what he does?” Your voice broke as you started crying openly. You hated it, it made you weak. No. You were weak. 
“Firstly, I’m not his guardian. He can do what he wants.” He sounded like a smartass. 
“Second of all, never. And I repeat. Never, lay a hand on me ever again, especially on my hair.” You rolled your eyes. 
Of course it was the hair that ticked him off completely. It was his crown, the only thing he had ever been able to take care of besides Satoru. Suguru loved to flaunt himself as the calm one, the kind one, but the exterior had always had some cracks in it. No amount of paint was able to hide the rotten wall behind it. 
“I can forgive your outburst at Satoru’s, but now that you’re in your right mind, you won’t get second chances.” 
“I don’t want ‘second chances’. I want you to leave me the fuck alone so I can do my job,” you yelled at him. 
“Lower your voice. Or do you want to air out all the dirty laundry for everyone?” Geto hushed you. 
“It’s not my ‘laundry’, it’s fucking yours!” You roared and tears fell down your cheeks blurring your vision. Your face felt hot as it got wrapped in the wrath of your words. 
Geto did not answer you, instead he chose to stare you down, not moving at all as if he was a statue. He looked like a child throwing a tantrum when things did not go his way, his face contorting to a sneer that could challenge any rich spoiled brat. You panted and wiped your face with the rough backside of your palm. 
“Move.”
“Ladies first,” he snickered childishly and kicked open the heavy door with his foot as he stepped slightly to the side. God this man hangs out too much with Gojo. 
As you left the school grounds barely holding your breakdown away, there was one figure in the corridors hugging the wall near the exit, clutching onto her purse. 
***
SHOKO’S MEMORIES, 2006
“Truth or dare?” Satoru asked, popping the pink bubblegum in the air, sucking the sticky material back in his mouth to chew on loudly. 
“Truth,” Shoko said, placing another cigarette in her mouth. She smoked especially heavily when she was drinking. 
Satoru had managed to bring a whole six pack of beer to the picnic whereas Suguru had found a travel size vodka bottle from his parents. Shoko had brought a package of different berries and salty crackers with her. 
“If you could have any technique in the world, which one would you have?” Satoru asked. He looked at the clear blue sky and the way the summer breeze pushed on the white clouds. 
Shoko played with the corner of the blanket as she thought deeply about his question. She stared at the shoes she had placed on the grass and the manicure on her toes that Utahime had insisted on putting on her. 
“I think I’d keep this one,” she smiled wistfully. 
“Really? You wouldn’t want my powers?” Satoru looked at her tilting his head to the side. He spat out the chewing gum and placed it on the plastic lid that belonged to the packaging of berries. He did not like it when things ran out of flavor, always searching for something more. 
“No. I don’t envy you at all. I just want a happy life and that’s all” Shoko answered his gaze, with a gentle smile. “Besides, I like the way I am and I suppose I can help people like this,” she added. 
Satoru hummed. He was clearly dissatisfied with the answer. 
He did not exactly know why. 
“Satoru, that's sad. You should ask something fun,” Suguru pointed out and took a sip from the beer can. 
The three of them sat on a grassy hill that had a pretty decent view of the city and the park below it. Shoko leaned against the huge tree behind her back. The cicadas were performing their own concert with the hum of motorways working as their orchestra.  
“You figure out better questions then,” Satoru pouted, but wasn’t actually hurt. 
“Isn’t it my turn to ask though?” 
Shoko looked in the distance watching closely how a woman jogged with her shiba inu, her ponytail swishing in the same rhythm as the chord of her headphones. Both men nodded slightly out of sync. 
“Satoru truth or dare?” 
“Truth.” 
“Who’s the hottest person you know?” Her eyes twinkled teasingly. 
“Waka Inoue of course. She’s sexy as hell!” Satoru slapped his hand on his heart as if he was saluting. 
“Really? You still have a crush on her?” Suguru questioned. It was his turn to pout. “Am I not enough?” 
“Baby you’re plenty, but you can’t replace a huge rack,” Satoru’s voice was steady as if he was talking about the most important thing in the whole world. 
“I can’t argue with that.” Suguru sighed defeatedly, his shoulders slumping down dramatically. 
“Ugh. I shouldn’t have asked that. Both of you are so weird and gross about women,” Shoko grimaced regretting her decisions and lifted the cigarette to her mouth as if to cover the bad taste of Satoru’s words. 
The man in sunglasses ignored the criticizing words. “Suguru. Truth or dare?” 
“Dare.” 
“I dare you to share this,” Satoru lifted up a huge strawberry. “Like in Lady and the Tramp with Shoko,” he referred to the scene where the two dogs shared a spaghetti meal, eventually kissing. 
“That’s too small!” Shoko protested immediately, shaking her head. The idea of doing that with Suguru made her feel iffy. 
“I’m game if she is,” Suguru said and offered his palm to Satoru who plopped the berry in his hands. 
Shoko had a nervous giggle come out of her. 
“C’mon, it’s just a game. You can always let go after like one bite. This is truth or dare afterall,” Satoru coaxed. 
“Fine. But I won’t kiss you, not even a peck.” Shoko established her own rule and rolled her eyes. She put out the cigarette on the grass and left the butt there. 
“We’ll see about that,” Suguru laughed and picked at the stem that got thrown over next to the chewed up gum. 
He awkwardly came closer to the young female student and placed the bigger end between his lips. He looked silly, the red end peeking out of his mouth. Suguru attempted at mouthing the words ‘come closer’, but neither Satoru or Shoko understood his words but the context clue carried the point to Shoko. 
She got on her knees sitting on top of her legs and straightened herself out. Suguru was way taller than her, even when he sat. Her face approached Suguru’s who had a pink tint on his cheeks from the alcohol he had drank.  
She opened her mouth and barely bit down on the smaller end, her tongue touching the bumpy texture of the strawberry. 
“Ready. Set. Go!” Satoru exclaimed, motioning finger guns happily. His gaze was completely glued on his two friends. 
Suguru closed his eyes and he started to carefully nibble, closing dangerously on Shoko’s lips. She bit quickly, not really tasting anything and began to pull away in hopes of Suguru calling it quits too. 
Unfortunately she wasn’t fast enough. The last bits of strawberry fell down on Shoko’s lap when Suguru pressed his lips against hers, a faint red trail dripping on her chin. She didn’t move and her eyes widened in shock. Shoko didn’t know what to do so she just held her hands on her lap. 
Suguru pet gently behind the girl’s head kissing her motionless lips. His hand trailed down to her neck and all the way to her shoulder. Shoko felt the sweet taste in her mouth mixing with the alcohol, stranger’s saliva and nicotine as Suguru dragged his hand to the mound of her breast. The warmth emanating from his palm was enough to bring her back to reality and Shoko pushed the bigger guy off of her. 
“Why did you do that?” she snapped and crossed her arms. 
“Oh don’t get angry now. Have a drink and chill out.” Satoru sighed. He shuffled awkwardly and placed the almost empty tote bag on his lap and grabbed a new beer can from there. Shoko narrowed her eyes in suspicion, but did not want to make room for any weird thoughts that would imply even weirder things. “It’s just a joke.” 
“This is not the first time you take jokes too far.”
Shoko looked away from the two boys, disappointment turning into an ache in her heart and wiped her chin clean from the strawberry. She slipped on the ballerinas laying on the ground. 
“Seriously? You’re leaving because of this?” Suguru tilted his head, his voice defensive.
Shoko threw her cigarettes and lighter in her own purse checking the blanket for other stuff she had. 
“Yeah, I am. I’m not having fun anymore.” Her voice was cold as she was attempting to hide the nervous tremble in her body and almost jumped up throwing the bag on her shoulder. She turned around, once again crossing her hands against her chest as if to protect herself and started walking.
“Hey! Don’t you want your blanket with you?” Satoru yelled after her. The two guys sat on the quilt completely bamboozled. 
“Keep it! I don’t need it!” 
She didn’t eat strawberries for the rest of the summer. 
***
“Hey you really should sing this one!” Shoko laughed as she scrolled through the song list.
“Whaat? No that’s not even funny,” you laughed and slapped her arm gently. 
“Is it really not? Or are you just a bore?” Shoko taunted getting ready to put the song on.
“Can we sing something from this?” You pointed at the category called 2000’s hits. 
“I’ll pick something at random and you’re just going to deal with it,” Shoko laughed clearly tipsy too after the multiple drinks you both had drank. 
The disco ball was spinning around the small room painting the walls in hues of blue, red and green. Nanami sat on the couch nursing his whiskey as he stared off into space. The upbeat music filled the room, bass shaking the ground underneath your feet.
It was the first time going out after the events at Gojo’s house. Shoko had basically begged you to come with her to get shit faced complaining that she really needed someone to rant with. You told her that Utahime was right there and would probably love to listen to her, but she claimed that the woman from Kyoto had other plans for the weekend.
After arriving at the karaoke bar you had been taken back after seeing the stoic blonde man at the venue. You weighed the option of immediately leaving in your head, but your conscience did not allow you to do so, after leaving him so rudely hanging in the meeting. When the three of you had gotten your own private room you decided to immediately order shots and drinks with the only goal of getting absolutely black out drunk tonight despite having Nanami there. 
It was honestly rare to see him after work as he had preferred to keep his distance. He was wearing the same clothing he always wore, dress shirt ironed, necktie perfectly hanging against his chest as if he was on the clock. You wouldn’t have been surprised if he were to whip out a cursed tool onto the bar table. 
You clutched onto the microphone singing unevenly as you danced to the beat, half of the syllables disappearing to you being out of breath. Shoko cackled, almost folding over as she kept slapping her thigh eyes watering. She had drunk a few drinks less than you and she had been exceptionally happy even before drinking. Truthfully Shoko was quite a heavy drinker and she definitely should not have been as wasted as what she appeared to be. 
Nanami stared at the both of you, raising the whiskey glass to his lips after checking his wrist watch. 
“Come here! Sing with us!” You yelled to the mic only getting a slightly alarmed expression out of him as he shook his head.
“I think I’m okay with watching you two perform,” he said. 
You pouted but kept on singing, your concentration skills nonexistent. You did not notice the way Shoko glared at him, nudging her head towards you as she pointed the microphone in her hand towards him. 
Nanami cleared his throat under the threatening gaze and clumsily got up. 
“Oh my god! Nanamiii!” You screamed the noise so high pitched that even the speakers were unable to handle it and you could see how Nanami cringed at the sound. 
Shoko squinted her eyes and mouthed the word sing to Nanami. Shoko was not going to deal with you alone. 
The combination of the pop song and Nanami’s voice made you giggle as you hurrayed him happily. He was not a bad singer by any means, but his voice did not fit the song choice. You wondered to yourself, why had you not gotten shitfaced earlier when you had all the good reasons to. 
Shoko decided to take a small break sitting on the spot where Nanami had been earlier and inspected the brown liquid swishing in the glass. She stole a sip from it when Nanami wasn’t watching, not really caring about the fact that it wasn’t her drink.
You grabbed your drink from the table and drank from it and you kept on singing happily, almost jumping around. Nanami looked at you with a terrified expression when you moved side to side with the drink spilling on your hand, but you did not notice the wetness of it. 
“Hey, put that down before you drop the glass,” Nanami said and gently tried to take the glass from you.
“No, I want to keep this,” a pout formed on your face but you still did what he told and turned around swiftly to place the drink on the counter. Your vision was blurry, the lights slightly too bright and you lost your balance tipping over the glass that was already safely on the table. You felt yourself starting to fall but a strong arm snaked around your waist to stabilize you. 
The world felt like it was stopping when the arm around you changed into a tight rope that pressed around your ribcage. The karaoke room changed inch by inch to a vast room with a wall made of windows with a night view of the streets of Tokyo. The shattered drink turned into a broken light bulb on the floor. You felt a hot breath on your skin, but your body had gotten cold. It was as if you had been dunked into ice water, all the earlier excitement completely vanished. The disco ball spun around casting blue lights on the white haired man’s face that ogled you like a piece of meat. The imagery was so vivid and real in your mind that you reacted on instinct, elbowing the man behind you. 
The rope vanished around you as the windows melted to the concrete floor, the shadows of city lights turned back to the tacky illumination of the disco ball. You felt the remnants of cursed energy fizzing out like a soda can as your eyes landed on Nanami, who was slightly hunched over holding onto his side the pain making him grimace. You had no idea how much force you had actually used, but probably quite a lot judging by the way Nanami was reacting. 
Shoko stood there completely still, eyes filled to the brim with worry and confusion. Her lips were ajar and she gulped down wanting to say something, but she did not know what. 
“My apologies. I didn't mean to touch you inappropriately,” Nanami managed to say. The music track played in the background, but it felt empty without a drunken voice guiding it. He was lucky to have good reflexes, instinctually protecting himself from the blow, otherwise Shoko would have had a patient off the clock. 
“Uh,” Your mouth gaped at him hopelessly. He had done nothing wrong. 
“I’ll go for a cigarette,” you blurted out and left the room hurriedly. The long hallway stretched in front of your eyes as you looked at the numbers on karaoke booths, only muted colors flashing through the slightly translucent doors. You leaned on the wall as you dragged your feet forward arriving at the front desk that thanked you for your time, but you did not pay attention to them and turned to your left to stare at the steep stairway.
The steps were made out of wood with a black paint that had started to chip away and the walls were pure red, too bright and intense for your eyes. You focused on the door in front of you and barely saw the red walls around it as they got covered by a dark cloud, your way of seeing more animalistic than human.The only thing in your mind was the need to get some fresh air as emotions threw you around like a shipwreck at the sea. 
You pushed the door open and walked over to a bicycle stand choosing an empty spot where you plopped yourself on. You rocked yourself back and forth as you cried and gripped onto your skin painfully hoping that at least the physical sensation would put an end to your suffering. You started to be more aware of the familiar banging against your skull. 
The door of the karaoke bar opened as Shoko walked outside, her face now serious, resembling more the woman she was at work than the friend giggling at drunk people's jokes. 
“Hey. You forgot this inside.” She handed you your bag.
You wanted to answer something but you could not as the words got stuck to your throat. Your world flashed back and forth between sensations that you weren’t supposed to feel in this moment. The guilt and sadness ate you alive, nipping away from your vitals the more you tried to push them down. 
Shoko placed a cigarette between her lips and lit it up and offered it to you. You took it gladly off her hands inhaling the sweet smoke, but you almost ended up suffocating on it as your nose was too stuffed to handle it. Even the menthol taste was unable to help you with this issue. Shoko opened the green box once more to get herself a smoke as well. 
She took a drag out of it and watched your shuddering figure. 
“I saw you in the hallway with Geto. Something happened at Gojo’s right?”
You lifted your head up mascara running on your cheeks. Had you not been in such a bad state her words would have shocked you. 
“I can’t help you if you don’t want my help.” Shoko crouched down to your level. You stared at her face as she left out a puff of smoke that trailed around her face, the dark eye bags now more visible than ever. 
You choked on your tears once more, now openly wailing on the pavement your fingers digging into the soft flesh of your arm. You dragged your nails across yourself leaving pink trails behind it, the soft tingle covering the areas you had just clawed at. 
“I can’t do this anymore,” you cried, your words hard to decipher as your breath hitched. “I can’t keep on doing this. It’s all my fault. I’m so stupid,” you screamed snot falling onto your shirt. 
“So fucking stupid!” You impulsively pressed the cigarette butt against your thigh melting the cloth away the stinging pain shocking you as your skin shed its layers against the fire. 
You had no shame in your breakdown, frankly you did not even recognize the others that looked in your way speaking with hushed voices around you, as they tightened the grip on their partners hands. “That girl really needs to lay off the drinks,” someone had said loudly. Shoko had wanted to immediately pounce, but she held herself together. She knew that you needed her more. 
“Don’t hurt yourself, when you want to hurt someone else,” her voice was just a whisper. “Can I touch you?” She asked not wanting to trigger you further. You nodded. 
Shoko pulled you into a tight hug and you buried your face on her chest, holding onto her like it was the last thing keeping you afloat. You seeked comfort in her presence. 
“I want to die.” You gripped onto her tighter. “I’m so weak.”
Shoko stroked your hair, her own eyes watering as she listened to you wordlessly. She felt your pain almost just as viscerally as you were experiencing them now.  
“No matter… no matter what I do. I can’t escape them. I just want to be gone. I want to-”
Shoko shushed you and slipped her free hand into her pocket, digging out her phone. Almost ten minutes had gone by. She awkwardly opened her chat with Nanami trying to inform the man who was probably still sitting in their booth waiting for the two of you to come back. 
A male voice disturbed the two of you. “Is everything okay?” 
Shoko pressed her hand on your shoulder pushing herself up from the ground, she whispered to you to stay put, not that you really were in any condition to go anywhere. 
“Good that you’re here. I was just about to text you. Can you get us a taxi?”
“Of course,” he said and opened the app punching in your address that Shoko forwarded to him. He looked so much older and out of place in the busy street. 
This was the kind hearted and lovely Nanami that had forgiven you immediately, after you had punched him in the gut because you were fucked up in the head. The kind hearted and lovely Nanami that you couldn’t look in the eyes, because of a certain man whose name you felt like acid on the tip of your tongue. The thoughts in your head brought fresh tears to your eyes. You dangerously sailed in the deep waters of suicidal ideation, your tired hands opening the forbidden door.  
“It’s going to arrive in five minutes,” Nanami hummed. 
“I think you should go. I’ll handle this,” Shoko said, her voice full of pity. “I’ll keep you posted.”
Nanami nodded in agreement. 
“For what it’s worth, take care of yourself too.” Nanami’s words were carefully chosen, anticipating that you weren’t the only one who needed a hug. 
***
SHOKO’S MEMORIES, YEAR 2006
The beach was filled with people who enjoyed the way the sun spoiled them with its warmth. Shoko was sitting on a towel next to Mei Mei who applied generous amounts of sunscreen on her hand. They sat underneath a parasol that had been propped in the sand, covering them both from the direct sun. The brown haired girl watched as Utahime excitedly threw herself to the water. She had given up on trying to get Shoko and Mei Mei in the water as well. 
“Mei Mei, don’t you have a lot of experience with boys?” Shoko almost whispered and hugged her legs. Her beach shawl swayed when the breeze decided to start playing with the huge piece of cloth. 
“Are you trying to imply something?” Her voice was low and melodic but not at all accusatory. 
“No, nothing like that. I just wanted to ask you something.” Shoko shook her head flustered. “Is it normal for a guy to kiss a girl without asking?” 
Mei Mei burst into laughter. This was the question Shoko was getting all worked up for? 
“Shoko,” Mei Mei’s eyes glimmered softly when she said the younger girl’s name with gentleness that reminded her of a mother tugging a child into bed. “I did not take you for being this innocent,” she teased. 
“I’m not innocent,” the brown haired girl huffed with the unexpected blush decorating her cheeks.
“Did someone do that to you?” Mei Mei tilted her head curiously and offered the sunscreen bottle to Shoko who happily took it to her hands.
“If I tell you, will you promise that you won’t tell anyone?”
“If I’m honest, I don’t think I care enough to tattle. You got me curious now. Tell me,” she hummed as a smile curled on her lips. 
“Well uh.. Suguru kind of kissed me when we were playing truth or dare with Satoru,” Shoko explained . She ran her hand between the warm sand, the grainy texture giving her something else to think about. “It was a stupid dare on Satoru’s part. Dunno why I accepted it.” 
Shoko added that she did not want to kiss him under any circumstances but the boy had managed to go over her boundary with ease. 
“That’s it?” Mei Mei asked, raising her eyebrow. She was almost bewildered at how tame the story was. 
“Yeah.” 
The blue haired woman scoffed.
“Guys think that girls like it when they take control and in a certain sense they are right. Maybe they got their eyes on you? Although, I did think that Suguru and Satoru were..” Mei Mei’s voice trailed off as she thought. “It doesn’t matter.” She concluded. 
“If I were you. I’d go along with it.” Mei Mei suggested. 
“No way. I don’t like them like that. Besides that’s not what I asked for your opinion on.” 
“And?” Mei Mei turned her gaze on Shoko, her eyes hardening as she intensely stared at the younger girl. “Those two men are our generation’s strongest and you’re going to complain that one of them gave you a little kiss?” 
Mei Mei’s melodic voice dropped lower as she showed her true feelings of distaste towards Shoko’s views. 
“If I were you,” she started again, her voice tough and bitter. “I’d be securing my spot by their side and not planning to bring forth meaningless accusations over a game of truth or dare.” 
Shoko was at loss with the things that were being said to her. Now that she thought about it, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to speak with Mei Mei. 
“I did not say I was going to tell anyone,” her voice was squeaky like a little girl’s. 
“But you thought about that right?” Shoko did not deny nor confirm the accusation.
Mei Mei’s face softened. “Shoko, you’re a smart girl. You should know better than to get shaken by two boys, especially when you so eagerly lead them on.“ 
“..I don’t lead them on.”
“Then stop meeting them in your spare time. If you do that, guys will think that you’re willing. You’re not a kid anymore, they do notice that you’re a woman now.” 
She stayed quiet, Mei Mei’s words burning on her skin worse than the summer heat. She did not want guys thinking about her that way. She simply wanted to be their friend and the idea of boys and girls being unable to do that because of bodily differences made Shoko shudder. 
“You want to help your friends, right?” Mei Mei asked when Utahime got out of the water. 
Shoko nodded. 
“Then become a doctor. That’s the best you can do to others with the technique you have.” Her words were probably meant to be comforting, but they made Shoko’s heart sink to the bottom of the ocean. 
“Shookoo!” Utahime ran towards the two girls sitting on the beach towels. 
“Are you willing to swim now?” Sand and water droplets clung onto her radiant skin that the younger girl admired silently. Shoko felt her heart skip a few times in her chest when Utahime offered her hand to her. 
“Sure.” The shy smile stretched on Shoko’s lips. 
“I’ll stay here. But you guys have fun.” Mei Mei announced as she opened the book next to her the pages slightly crumpled up. 
Shoko did not really register Mei Mei’s voice anymore. She grabbed Utahime’s hand and the world slowly faded away around them. 
****
Shoko went through the bathroom nimbly avoiding piles of clothing or takeout bags as she looked through your bathroom cupboard. She found a bag of half used cotton pads and a micelar water from the mess.
The taxi drive had felt like eternity. Your tears had dried before settling in the car and numbness had taken over. Shoko helped you to your bed and said that she’d come back soon, closing the door behind her giving you some space to change into something more comfortable. 
The door opened. Shoko looked at you and sat on the bed. You were using a pillow as a support for your back. The night lamp’s warm color casted shadows around your puffy face. The woman shook the bottle in her hand and poured liquid on the white cotton pad and tilted your face towards hers. 
She pressed the pad on your eyelid carefully letting the mixture soak through the heaps of makeup on your face. You sniffled sadly before speaking. 
“I can do this on my own too.” 
“I want to do this,” her voice was soft as she spoke the makeup remover leaving your skin slightly cold. You simply nodded and admired the way her hair framed her face. 
“You know I’ve had my own bad experiences too,” Shoko said, her face turning to a slight frown. Her mind was sailing in memories that she had given up on trying to understand. 
You were at a loss of words. You wanted to pry, but it felt invasive. 
“With them? Really?” You heard yourself asking as you danced on the line of impropriety.
“Yeah,” Shoko hummed, “but we shouldn’t have this conversation yet. Maybe in the morning, but not now,” she tried to make her voice sound brighter, feel brighter as if it would fix everything. 
“Okay,” you said. Maybe she’s right about this. Shoko discarded the dirty cotton pad, simply placing it on the bedside table. It was at its limits the whole thing turned into the color of your foundation with the small black streaks of your mascara on it, or what was left from it. 
She held onto your face gently for a moment too long even after she was done. You opened your eyes to really look at her. She looked so sad and.. young? Yes young was the right word. She looked like a woman robbed out of something sacred. She had been so happy, so easy to excite in her youth, but now all she seemed to carry was baggage. 
Your drunken mind wanted to close the distance, but something held you back. Maybe it was all the answers that were still being withheld by her, maybe it was the understanding that it’s not the right time yet. 
“Can you stay the night?” you whispered. Shoko breathed in and opened her mouth to say something, but you were faster. “Please? Th-there’s some clothes you can borrow in my closet.” 
She stayed quiet and you waited patiently.
“I’ll stay.” 
You smiled weakly at her and muttered a gentle thank you. She shuffled up from the bed and walked over the closet you had pointed for her. You turned your back to her when you heard the rustling of clothing that she ended up piling up neatly on one of the spare chairs in your bedroom. 
You fluffed up the pillow next to you and lifted up the blanket when she climbed in. You turned your back to her as you lay down on your side. Your hand searched the light switch and then the room was pitch black. 
Shoko awkwardly came closer to you till your back was against hers and she played with your hair idly in the silence. The touch was friendly, your body slumping in relaxation almost immediately. It was nice to have someone there. You had gotten so used to being afraid of the nights. 
“Good night,” she said, her voice hoarse. 
“Night.” 
***
You woke up alone with no trace of the woman in your room. She had gotten up earlier than you and dressed up back to the clothes she had in the bar. You hugged your plush blanket, almost burying your whole face underneath it, not ready to face the day.
Your head hurt and you felt nauseous. How is Shoko even able to do things? You wondered to yourself.
The faint knock on the bedroom door disrupted your thoughts as the door opened slightly. 
“I made a sandwich for you and found some painkillers, if you want any,” she said and you heard her steps further away again. 
You groaned and threw the blanket away from your body, the cold greeting you roughly. 
Your kitchen had gotten miraculously cleaner, the multiple empty beer cans piled in a bag and the dishwasher hummed quietly. You stared at the brown table in front of you that had two sandwiches and glasses of water on it, hunger long gone from your body. 
“You really should drink less.” Shoko picked up another empty can from the counter just to place it in the bag.
“Like you’re the one to talk.” You sat on the chair with its legs squeaking against the floor with your rough treatment. 
You grabbed the pill bottle and rattled out two tablets that you threw in your mouth and drank barely enough water to chase them down. 
“What do you remember?” Shoko asked and sat in front of you. She wasn’t feeling very hungry either. 
“I remember punching Nanami and the talk we had before we fell asleep,” you mumbled, playing with the edges of the slightly crusty lettuce between your sandwich. You had meant to use it on a salad a few days ago, but you were too tired to cook for yourself. Even the simple things were hard. “What did I tell you?”
“Nothing. You were just crying.”
Oh. So it was like that. 
“They assaulted me.” Your face was stern, emotions hidden behind a wall. The words felt weird. It was the first time you had actually said it out loud.
Shoko’s face widened from shock. 
“They what?” 
“Don’t make me repeat it,” you hissed. 
“Sorry, I won’t.” 
The silence felt unbearable and you stuffed your face full of bread just to do something. 
“They did something similar when we were still in school.” Shoko ripped the hangnail painfully from her skin and pressed on the miniscule wound with one of her fingers. 
You chewed the sandwich aggressively without tasting anything, the texture turning to mush in your mouth. 
“Why didn’t you warn me?” Your words were way more accusatory than what you wanted. 
Shoko turned her head to the side looking hurt by your sudden outburst. Her eyebrows scrunched together in pain as she looked for the perfect words, but there were none. 
“You admired them. I didn’t want to take that away from you, and when I realized that I probably should have said..”
“Bullshit, Shoko. It’s been ten years. I deserved to know, you could have-”
“Stop blaming me for their shit!” she yelled. Shoko never yells. 
You fell quiet. You reined in your anger, its hands still attempting to reach out to anything it could latch on. She was right. It’s not her burden to bear, but you still couldn’t help but feel powerless, when there could have theoretically been someone who could have told you to not go there. 
“Sorry,” you simply said just to drop the topic. Shoko sighed defeatedly and pushed her head briefly against her hands. She understood the anger, she really did. 
“They drugged me and then raped me together. I don’t remember a lot from it. I fought back – well attempted to,” your voice shook as you spoke. 
The brown haired woman simply looked at you with silent empathy. 
“Did you at least get one good punch in?” 
Your lips curled into a downhearted smile. The memory of your feeble fight playing in your mind, the weakness and despair of it all, a futile attempt of a prey to preserve their life just one moment longer. 
“Not a single one,” you laughed hollowly as one tear rolled on your cheek and your lips trembled. “But I did rip some hair out of Geto at the school,” you tried to brighten your voice and be brave. 
Shoko’s eyes watered and she answered your smile with her own. 
“Good.” 
The almost happy expression faded from your face. Everything hurt, never had you ever thought to be in a situation like this where you were exchanging devastation with your friend like gifts on christmas. 
“Why did you stay? Even Nanami left for a while, you could have done the same.” Your question was gentler this time. 
Shoko pondered for a minute, not sure of her answer either. 
“Because this is the only way I could help. I had you and Utahime and I didn’t want to leave you two behind. Besides what else was I supposed to do? I’ve been given a technique that can save many if I choose right. Had I left a lot more could have died because I wasn’t here — all because of what two men did,” she tried to put her thoughts together. 
“There’s a reason why Utahime doesn’t like Gojo,” Shoko blurted out and played with her hair. 
You took a careful sip of water as if you were trying to carefully dissect the different flavors of Shoko’s words. 
“What do you mean? Did they do something to her as well?” 
“No. I just mean that women know, you know? I think it’s in our blood to recognize danger. That’s one of the reasons she despises him. But this is just my thought, not an universal truth,” Shoko wondered out loud. 
She breathed in once again as if the words she was about to speak were too painful. 
“I think sometimes us women have to carry the atrocities of men. There’s no rhyme or reason why they do certain things. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself. I never went through what you did, but I can’t say that I’m surprised,” she mused. “I’m sorry though. What you went through. It’s not right.”
Her brown eyes stared at you expectantly. You chewed on your lip nervously and tapped the empty plate with your nail, the small tinkle sound working as a metronome. 
“No, it’s not,” you huffed. But it feels like it’s my fault. If I had not gone there, if I had not idolized them – loved them even. This wouldn’t have ended this way. It was easier to leave those words in your head. 
“So what now?” You looked at Shoko, your eyes pleading, asking for answers, guidance, anything she would be able to provide to you. You knew there was nothing clear cut Shoko could say, but god how you wished that someone would know what to do. 
Shoko shook her head in defeat as if telling you that she wasn’t able to point you on the right track like that. 
“Whatever you want. You can stay or go, but you don’t have to carry it alone,” Shoko said, her face gentle. You could still draw out the remnants of the young girl from the year two thousand and six on her features. The lines were almost faded but they were still there. 
You found kinship in her even if neither of you had shared the full story of what had happened. You weren’t there yet and you weren’t ready. Instead the two of you skirted around words unspoken finding solace of at least having someone who could understand. It was up to the both of you what to make out of the confessions of the past. 
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dizzyjelly · 1 year ago
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Help Me Out?
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Word Count: 1.7k
Summary: You're popular and you ask the smartest girl in class to help you out with your math work, and how could she say no? She was confused as you start to actually become friends. Because she didn't understand why someone like you would take an interest in someone like her.
Cw: reader cries bc of a mean teacher, kinda loser!ellie, reader fights with her fake ass friend.
A/n: this is actually based off a real life experience, I was sadly the loser in this situation 😔 also I obviously dramatized it for the story but yeahh, anyways enjoy! There will be a part 2.
You had to be the most confusing girl Ellie has ever met. She wondered why on earth you spent your time talking to her, when you were so popular. It wasn't unknown that Ellie was a lesbian, actually it was pretty much what she was known for. But you didn't seem to care.
Math was never your strong suit, in fact you'd always struggle with it. Ellie, however, was amazingly good at it. She had her heart set on becoming an astronaut one day, and so she figured that she'd have to understand math. Joel helped her to do just that, but he also made sure she excelled.
Anytime your math teacher spoke, it sounded like complete gibberish to you. You'd even cry some nights, you know on the days she would yell at the entire class about how stupid they were. It just felt like she was singling you out. And not to mention all the passive aggressive notes she'd leave on your assignments or tests. One day, you figured why not ask Ellie for help?
She was utterly confused. Why would someone like you talk to someone like her? And out of your own free will.
"Ellie? I'm really sorry to bother you, but can you help me out..?" Your voice was quiet and you sounded timid almost.
At first, she was silent. She kind of just stared at you. But eventually, she came to her senses.
"Yeah of course! What's up?" You smiled, she spoke so kindly to you.
"Here, let me just-" you got up and stood at her desk, "number 6, and basically everything after it. I just don't get it.." You sigh softly.
"Okay, this is what I wrote." She said, merely handing you her paper.
"No, I don't want to copy yours. Can you explain it to me?" You ask, looking over at her now with pleading eyes.
Ellie nodded, giving you a thin-lipped smile before she began to talk and point things out. You wrote what she told you to and hummed every now in then with understanding. Eventually she'd helped you complete the whole thing, and you were beyond thankful.
This kind of interaction would continue to happen between the two of you for the next couple weeks. Your teacher had grown.. annoyed with this behavior. For some unknown reason she just had it out for you, because when you walked into class today, she announced a seat change.
Ellie was already in class, so she got up from her former seat and stod at the front of the room along with everyone else. You made your way to stand beside her, crossing your arms out of frustration.
As your teacher began assigning new seats, you sighed. Ellie looked over at you, but said nothing. So you decided to start the conversation.
"God I hate her. She's probably doing this just so I'll fail." You whisper.
"Whay do you mean?" Ellie whispers in return.
"You've been.. helping me out lately. I guess she just can't stand to see me succeed." You frown softly.
Ellie turns to face you once again, noticing how upset you really were. She didn't know what to say, or do. So she kept quiet and waited for her new seat assignment. After a few more minutes everyone was settled in their new seats.
You and Ellie were sat just about as far away as possible. This was definitely personal. Throughout class, you struggled tremendously. God this was just what your stupid math teacher wanted.
That day, you took it upon yourself to find Ellie at lunch. If she was shocked that you'd even speak to her, just imagine how insane she found it when you sat at her lunch table. Usually she sat alone, not because she didn't have friends, but they all had different lunch hours.
She felt so entranced by you, every word you said felt like it was burned into her brain. She admired you, truly. Even if she thought she had no chance with you. Ellie figured you were straight. Everyone knew you had a boyfriend last year, until you didn't. That was beside the point. Falling for a "straight" girl wasn't the first thing on her list, but that's what was happening.
"I literally hate her!" You complained.
"I know," Ellie nodded. "She is pretty annoying."
While Ellie wasn't fond of your math teacher either, she'd lie if she was. She'd agree with anything you said. God she felt pathetic.
"Fucking tell me about it.." You scoffed.
Ellie was confused when you say with her everyday for the rest of the week, but she wasn't complaining. She'd gotten to know you better. And she was quite impressed with who you really turned out to be.
She always thought high school girls like you were mean, but you were so sweet to her. Ellie had enjoyed spending more time with you, and she had no problem helping you out with your math work too. You were starting to get the hang of it, but it still didn't make complete sense to you.
Friday was your breaking point, you were just beyond frustrated by your work. Your teacher was busy on thr phone, so you figured why not. And you stood and walked over to Ellies desk. She blushed deeply as you'd gotten very close to her and whispered in her ear.
But you couldn't have been trying to flirt, you were just trying to be discreet, right? She began to explain the problem to you, perfectly ad always. And you were ready to thank her and start working, but before you could, your teacher called out your name angrily.
"What are you doing out of your seat. You have got to be one of the worst students I've ever had. Get back to your seat, now!" This time, her words genuinely hurt you.
Ellie watched you nervously, noticing how you'd gone silent and the way your bottom lip quivered. Her eyes widened and she felt so terrible when you began to cry. Your face ran red hot as you could feel everyone staring at you.
Ellie sighed softly and stood up, unsure what she should do. But she didn't have to guess because you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around her, resting your head on her shoulder. Ellie felt so awkward, and, she felt dizzy almost. Holding her arms around you felt so unreal, but god did it feel good.
Your teacher ended up sending the both of you to the hallway. Where you'd sit against some lockers, your knees pulled to your chest and your head resting in your arms. Ellie sat beside you, crisscross applesauce as she looked over at you and waited. She was waiting for you to say something, anything.
"Sorry.. I'm just overreacting.." You'd finally whisper.
"But you're not," Ellie was quick to reassure, and she placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, "she's been so mean to you for so long. Your completely valid to be upset by her.." her voice was quiet and soft.
"Thank you.." You smiled as you whispered, resting your head against Ellie's shoulder and wrapping your hands gently around her forearm.
She'd just nod in response then try and breathe regularly, which felt impossible when you were all over her like this. God, what did you do to her? After some time passed the bell rang and you two made your way to lunch. As you walked your interlocked your arm with Ellie's, which earned you a few glares.
You were relieved to just be able to sit down and have lunch, and relax. But that peace didn't last long when one of the girls you used to sit with decided to approach you and Ellie. She sat beside you and stared at Ellie as if she were some kind of alien.
"So, this is what you're busy doing? Hanging out with.. her?" Olivia spoke with disgust.
Your brows furrowed with confusion, what was her issue? You scoffed softly before answering.
"Yeah." You begin, your tone was anything but kind, "she's way better company than any of you ever were. You guys are mean and.. fake. Ellie is nice and she actually makes me feel good about myself." Ellie watched with amazement as you talked about her so highly.
"Whatever, you're a loser now anyways. We heard you cried in class.." She started to laugh at you.
"Jesus, who cares!" Ellie finally interjects, you watch her nervously, "look I know you think the most important thing in life is whether people think you're cool or not, which believe me, you're not, because you're just like every other basic bitch you hang out with. One day you're going to realize that wow, you peaked in high school, and it all goes downhill from here. Now would you please leave us alone?" Her words came off confident and snarky.
But you saw how her hands shook in her lap. She was so nervous. You smiled at her, she did that for you. Nobody ever did that kind of stuff for you. She really was.. good company.
While Ellie had fallen for you first so clearly, you fell a lot harder. Some part of you always knew you wanted to be more than just her friend, but it wasn't until now that it really hit you. As Olivia got up and walked away, Ellie could tell how you looked at her differently.
"Ellie.." You whisper, and she nods, "you're the best." You settle on a friendly compliment, because oh my God!
You liked Ellie, you'd never expect that. Not because she was a girl, but just because she was Ellie. And it's not that she was unattractive or anything. But you two were just so different. It didn't make total sense, if any.
"Oh, thank you.." She blushed.
"Hey, let's hang out after school." You spoke with excitement, "I could sleep over!" Ellies eyes widened at that.
Immediately she thought about the two of you.. in the same bed. God what would she do. She'd have to figure it out, because of course, she agreed. You couldn't wait for the school day to end.
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starrynights-sunnyskies · 7 months ago
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as the flowers bloom, my heart does too ⋆*·゚misa x putellas!femreader, social media au, (3/-)
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when your relationship ends and all you want to do is hide and cry, flowers suddenly start to appear on your doorstep.
or; misa hating to see a pretty girl cry and suffer and going out of her way to cheer her up while staying anonymous
fic: see my masterlist 🤍
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yourusername: desperately trying to disappear ✌️ Liked by alexiaputellas, albaps9, bff3 and 638 others
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bff1 now that's a waste of a good drink bff1 but i'll make you a better one and then we can cry and watch your favourite movie and bake cookies or play cards. tell me when and i'll be there 😘 liked by yourusername
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bff2 ❤️💔 bff2 Keep holding on, and don't forget you have us! We're only a phone call away. Shout and we'll come. liked by yourusername
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alexiaputellas You deserve el todo mundo 😘 alexiaputellas Can we come over, laelia? Alba, mami and I? Seen alexiaputellas Yn? Delivered
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albaps9 don't let that shit have this much power over you again, please hermanita ): albaps9 and if she contacts you again, you tell me, okay? albaps9 pls think about yourself. don't let her words get to you. i know you've been talking to someone new lately. don't throw away something that could be beautiful just because of past experiences. albaps9 if you want me to stay with you again for another few days, i'm there within the hour albaps9 answer your phone or i'm coming over albaps9 nvm, coming over anyway with mama and ale. albaps9 we love you, okay? albaps9 and maybe you're the toughest putellas after all albaps9 ❤️ Seen
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↳ 1min ago: yourusername added to their close friends story ��� 56secs ago: yourusername added to their close friends story ↳ 44secs ago: yourusername added to their close friends story ↳ 10secs ago: yourusername added to their close friends story
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marisabel_rguez: Friends and football, the two best distractions 😁 Liked by leilaouahabi, jennihermoso, alexiaputellas and 18,993 others
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leilaouahabi Oh, so I'm a distraction now? How kind 🤪 ↳ marisabel_rguez Only the best! ↳ leilaouahabi I'll take that compliment. So are you.
jennihermoso Big win, good times 👏💓 ↳ marisabel_rguez 😁🤟
alexiaputellas 😎 liked by marisabel_rguez
haleyraso Aha! So that's why your game has been off lately! 😂😇 ↳ haleyraso Kidding ❤️ liked by marisabel_rguez
sofie.svava Princess!! (the strongest I know) 😇 liked by marisabel_rguez
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tagged: yourusername bff3: Proud of this little one. She's taking life by the horns and showing it who's boss. Liked by alexiaputellas, bff2 and 347 others
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yourusername i love you. all the days serving douchebag drunk tourists and living off tips was so worth it bc it brought you into my life. ↳ bff1 into OUR lives 🥹🥹 ↳ bff3 Even worth serving Arrogant Alex for every weekend for four months? ↳ yourusername omg i'd nearly forgotten about him!!! yikes, but yes. all worth it. ↳ bff3 You forgot Arrogant Alex but not Silly Sander? But same ❣️ ↳ bff2 Even I remember him 😂 ↳ bff1 'you'd never have to work in this lousy shithole if you were mine' ↳ bff3 Then proceeded to visit said lousy shithole every following weekend. ↳ bff2 Capturing hearts since 1998 and 1993💋
alexiaputellas 😍
bff1 you're doing great sweetie xoxo
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tagged: yourusername bff1: claimed this one the second i walked into kindergarten one unsuspecting morning and she, the NEW GIRL, had the audacity to be playing with my favourite plushies. never looked back since. thank you, universe. Liked by albaps9, alexiaputellas, bff2 and 508 others
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bff3 Adorable!!
albaps9 she always cried at home before going, then cried when she had to go home after she met you jajaja ↳ bff1 i have that effect 😇 ↳ albps9 i still think you're the reason she's no longer shy and innocent 😡 ↳ bff1 you're so welcome!
bff2 My favourite chaotic girls! 🤗
alexiaputellas Go back to being this little @/yourusername 😔 liked by yourusername
yourusername going from sharing plushies to sharing the best moments of my life! ↳ bff2 For a second I was worried you were going to say undies 😭 ↳ bff1 won't fit, my butt's bigger than hers ↳ yourusername no way!! ↳ bff1 to the undies or the butt? ↳ yourusername yes 👼 ↳ bff1 yes to what?? liked by yourusername
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tagged: yourusername bff2: Watch out world, she’s coming for you. Now stronger than ever! ❤️ Liked by marisabel_rguez, bff3, albaps9 and 123 others
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yourusername ❤️ ↳ bff2 ❤️ ↳ bff3 ❤️ ↳ bff1 ❤️
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marisabel_rguez: Going to make Sevilla unsafe 😛 Liked by sofie.svava, frejaolofssonn, marialeonn16 and 12,493 others
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sofie.svava and unsafe we made it! ↳ marisabel_rguez 😉
carolinemoller_ My bank account is still weeping 🤪
atheeneeaa_10 Girls! 💜
username1 i miss yn in here liked by 12 others
claudia.zornoza 😍
carolineweir95 Missing you all!
username2 Is it me or is misa really inactive lately, she's changed ↳ username3 Not just you ): ↳ username2 And her game has been so off lately, ngl
haleyraso You better return to us all smiley again after this trip!!! 😤
frejaolofssonn hey who's that one in the back? she's looking goooood. liked by marisabel_rguez
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yourusername: i guess i'm back. (well, i'll try to stick around) Liked by marialeonn16, alexiaputellas, esmeebrugts and 3,489 others
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username1 we missed you!!!!!!
ingridengen ig's not the same without our princesa 🤩
username2 Hello againnnn
bff1 two/three whole months? without posting? record. but i missed you. ↳ yourusername i missed me too ☹️ ↳ bff1 😘
ona.battle Now we had you all to ourselves for a little while 😝 ↳ salmaparalluelo whoop whoop 🙌 liked by yourusername
albaps9 eyes on the road, chica, or have you forgotten when you messed up your foot while biking to school??? liked by alexiaputellas ↳ alexiaputellas The one day she had to go alone and boom 😆 ↳ yourusername so nice to see you making fun of my messed up and bloodied foot. it really hurt and i was alone and panicking and had to bike back home in pain 😔 ↳ ablaps9 i mean, i'm sorry for laughing but WHO the hell wears chanclas while biking? WHO?! a safety hazard!! ↳ alexiaputellas An eight year old 🤷‍♀️ ↳ yourusername they were my favourite pair of havaianas, i wanted to look cute 😞 ↳ albaps9 mom was right to whoop your ass with them later ↳ alexiaputellas At least now you have a cool scar 😎
bff3 Good to have you back, babe! Ps, you left your sweatshirt at our place. ❤️ ↳ yourusername keep it company for me until tuesday <3 ↳ bff1 just don't go and cook a curry with it on, like last time ↳ bff3 If you hadn't turned the stove higher behind my back, none of it would've splattered! ↳ bff1 didn't want it to take an hour longer. i was hungry. ↳ bff3 Well, not going to wear it while cooking. It's the green adidas one, btw, your favourite, so I wouldn't dare. ↳ yourusername ahh. well, i think green's your colour anyway, keep it 😘
username3 Welcome back 👋
username4 FINALLY
username5 now misa has to come back too 🤞 ↳ username4 Here's to hoping this post will do just that
username4 no more misa/yn interactions? this girlie is very sad ↳ username1 Don't think that's happening anymore 😪 ↳ username5 yeah, between the radio silence, stories and off-behaviour, i don't think so either ↳ username3 well, that doesn't have to be bc of misa? ↳ username6 no u-haul? 😢 ↳ username1 No U-haul.
begovargas Loved spending time with you. We should do it again soon 😌 ↳ yourusername I'm so down!! Miss you already! 🫶
marialeonn16 Did you eat any more good pasta by any chance? ↳ yourusername YES, and also discovered this new cute restaurant. i'll text you the place. liked by ingridengen
janafernandez3 Hey chica 😻 liked by yourusername
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↳49min ago: yourusername added to their close friends story
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5min ago: marisabel_rguez just added to their close friends story ↳ This story is no longer available
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yourusername hey ↳ marisabel_rguez Hey
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a/n to anyone reading this, i hope you have a lovely day. 🌼🥰
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sunroxic · 3 months ago
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pairing: logan howlett x mutant! fem oc
warning: a bit depiction of blood and wounds, protective logan, oc is erik's daughter, NOT BETA READ ( idk maybe missed something )
word count: 1,7k
a/n: i'm not the best writer, i just write this bcs logan is the loml so sorry if this is terrible
“I know, cut him some slack, Lo,” She chuckles to the phone line as she drive her car back to the mansion. She just finished buying some things from the grocery store as she called Logan on her way home.
“Nah, it's fun seeing lil’ Scotty get all riled up,” The older man replied from the other side of the call. His low chuckles quickly follows. “On your way home, bub?”
“Yep, already close. I’ll get there in maybe 2 minutes. Got your be-” She answered, but her answer was cut off by a loud crashing sound.
From her right side, a drunk driver drove in a high speed carelessly as he was barely sober. It’s too late for her to realise as he already crashed his car onto hers.
“Bub? What's goin’ on? Nan?” Hearing the crashing sound, Logan began to worry. It makes it even worse that she didn't answer him but he can still hear the other end of the call.
A groan of pain. Her voice. Logan puts the piece together and he quickly goes downstairs to get where she is. He met with Scott as he walked at such a speed.
“Why the rush?” Scott asked as he quickly just walked past him when he usually bicker with him first.
“Nanda got into accident.” He replied as he look was looking for the bike key. Hearing that, Scott quickly turned around and follow him. He doesn't need anymore explanation, all the unusual from Logan is enough tell.
Scott snatched the car keys from the table, “I'll drive. Too dangerous if you drive.” He quickly open his car and start the engine. In normal circumstances, Logan would not agree to this but right now what matters is they get to her fast and also safe. His head is way too hazy because of his worry.
On their way to her, Logan kept the call line connected and kept talking to her even though he's unsure whether she can hear him or not, “Baby, hang on, we're almost there.”, “Bub, i'm almost there.” His voice cracks ever so slightly from trying to hold back his tears.
When they arrived at the scene, Logan quickly jumped out of the car, walking through the crowd trying to find his girl, Scott swiftly followed from behind.
In the centre of the scene, there's the car she drove, severely damaged. The drunk guy's car who crashed into her seems to not take that much damage, but hers seems very bad.
“Sir you cannot be here.” A police officer trying to push Logan behind the barrier the police has put. “Get the fuck away from me!” Logan pushed him away at ease. He spotted her inside an ambulance was about to be taken to hospital. He quickly ran to it.
“Are you family?” A paramedic asked him. “Yes, yes i'm her boyfriend.” He answered but his eyes still locked on her. The paramedic let him in to travel along in the ambulance to the hospital.
He never expect he would see her in such state. Covered with blood and cuts, almost unconscious, barely any pulse on her. He reached to held her hand gently,
“Please, i can't lose you, baby, i can't.” The tears that he has been holding finally caught up. He can't cope if he has to lose her.
As they arrive at the hospital, she immediately get brought to the operating room. Logan waited outside, his head still unable to fully work. Doesn't take long til Scott and the others arrive there, they waited there with him.
“Logan, how is she? Is she going to be okay?” Erik came in rushed, his face full of worry. That's his daughter that is getting operated inside that room.
“No idea, they just brought her in.” His voice sounded rough and hoarse, probably because of the crying before everyone arrived.
While everyone was sitting in silence, waiting for any news about her, a police officer came approaching.
“Family of Nanda Lehnsherr?” He asked. This officer is the one who try to push Logan way back in the scene. But he's not alone, he's with a guy who Logan remember seeing back in the crime scene too. He has a few freshly treated cut on his face and arms but nothing much.
“I would like to ask if family would be pressing charges against Mr. ( l/n ).” The police officer asked.
“This fucking guy is who did it?” Logan stand up as he ask the officer, which alert everyone at that very second, he seems like he smell something, “You're fucking drunk, asshole?” Now his eyes are toward the drunk guy.
His claws stick out, he walks forward to the guy wanting to hurt him so bad for what he did to her. Scott stopped him by standing in front him and held back his shoulder.
“Not worth it, Logan, let's focus on her and get this guy the punishment he deserves through justice.” Scott said in a low voice, trying to calm him.
He still looks at that guy like he's gonna rip the guy's heart out of his body alive. But he did retract his claws and slowly back off to where he was.
On the other side, there's also someone that is very close to killing that guy for what he did to his daughter but he knows he needs to collect himself for her.
“Yes. We would like to fucking press charges.” Erik said in a very sharp tone as he gave the drunk guy a threatening glare.
After that the police officer left with that guy, leaving the x-men in there, still waiting for any news about her condition.
It took about 2 and a half hour until the door open, revealing the doctor coming out. They all stand in unison, anxious about the news gonna's she's about to tell.
“How is she? Is she gonna be okay?” Logan is the one who asks, his tone is a mix of worry and hopeful.
“The operation was a success. She already went through her critical condition and now we just have to wait until she wakes up.”
Those two sentences. Everyone felt relieved. For the first time after their phone call, Logan seems to finally take a breath. He thought he was gonna lose her for a moment.
“She will be moved into a room immediately.” The doctor continued. She then went back inside the operating room.
For what seems like eternity, she is finally moved to a room where they can finally see her. Her eyes closed, her face looks very peaceful as she is still in deep sleep. Yet everyone is so grateful that she made it, after what she went through.
Logan is sitting beside her, unmoving despite his friends telling him he needs some food or bath or even sleep properly, ready for her when she wakes up. He has her hand on his, softly caressing her hand, not wanting to let go.
For a whole two days Logan sat there, he kept whispering to her, asking her to wake up soon, apologising for not being there sooner, telling her how much he loves her, everything.
Even the big wolverine can eventually fall asleep after two whole days staying awake, but his hand never let her hand go even in his sleep.
Slow but surely, her eyes flutter open. She winced as her eyes were hit by the light of the lamp after being in deep sleep for days. She could feel her body felt like it was hit by a car. Her eyes roamed around, looking at the room she was in. Eventually her eyes found him, her boyfriend, sitting on a chair next to her, holding her hand.
A small smile appear on her chapped lips, she wiggle the fingers of her hand that he is holding which easily wake him up by how alert he is in his sleep.
“Baby? You awake?” His eyes beamed, he looks at her and after such a long time not seeing her beautiful eyes, he finally get too see that again.
“You smell like shit.” She said in a hoarse voice. Come to think of it, she probably should say something else after she woke up.
“Yeah, like I fucking care,” He replied with a smile on his lips. He scoots his chair closer to her bed, “How’re you feeling, bub?” His hand gently strokes her hair then moves to stroke her cheek.
“Like I just got hit by a fucking car,” She throw a terrible joke followed by a smile on her lips, “God my throat hurt so bad.” She whined, still in a very hoarse voice. It has been days since she could physically drink water, of course her throat would hurt
Logan chuckled, this girl just woke up from a coma and she could make a terrible joke. He then helped her to drink some water from the glass next to her.
He kissed her hand that is still in his, “Thought I'd lose you, baby,” Tears rolling down his cheeks. Though losing her eventually will be inevitable, he still never could be ready for when the time comes.
“Hey, James, look at me.” She softly calls him out with his first name, the one she loves to call him when she is being very affectionate.
He lifted his head up, meeting her gaze which also glazed with tears. “You won’t lose me that easily, I promise you, love.” She assured him as her fingers softly wiped his tears.
He leaned to her touch, giving her hand more kisses, “I’ll protect you, bub. From anything in this world, i’ll fucking protect you.” He promised, not only to her, but also himself. He would do whatever it takes to give his girl anything in this world.
“I know, love, I know. I love you, James.” Her eyes filled with tears as she said it. It’s a lie if she says she wasn’t scared back there, she thought she was gonna die and she was gonna die alone, without him.
“I love you too, bub.” He replied as he moves forward to give her lips a gentle and soft kiss.
Fin.
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lcvesjj · 4 months ago
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Bad Omens - Deacon Kay x Fem!Reader
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Based on the song “Bad Omens” by 5SOS
This is part of my ‘song fics’ series :)
Summary : You'd always come in second place to Annie. Maybe you were right. This relationship was a mistake and you should've listened to the warnings. Since he'll always love somebody else..
Warnings : angst, angst, angst & once again angst. no happy ending, breakups, (Deacon gets back w Annie), in this fic Annie & Deacon don't have kids !!!, heart break, talks/mentions of cheating?
NOT BETA READ!
A/n : the fanfic writer curse has really been kicking my ass recently :’) so I wasn’t posting any fics for a while bc of it. But anyways enjoy and as always this is just based on my interpretation of the song/lyrics :) (yes I am incapable of writing a happy ending currently🥲) I might rewrite this someday since I'm not 100% happy with how this has turned out.
word count : 672
song fic masterlist
regular masterlist
Honestly you should've seen it coming. You always knew you'd come second place to Annie. Deacon's high school sweetheart and “one true love”
Deacon always talked about her a lot since they were still good “friends” Even his coworkers would talk about her a lot. You knew you could never compare to Annie, since she was prettier and smarter and just- more Deacon’s type….
You tried your best to get along with Deacon’s friends, since you loved him so much and you wanted this relationship to work out. 
One day you decided to visit Deacon at the SWAT HQ and bring the team some cookies. Walking towards the HQ kitchen you overheard Deacon talking about you. Pausing you stood still listening in to what was being said. 
“I mean I love Y/n but- she's just not Annie yknow? Annie was always so happy and sweet while I feel like recently Y/n has been pulling away from me. What if she's cheating on me?” Deacon said aloud. He had no idea you heard him. You could feel like crying and your heart dropped to your stomach hearing his words. The man you loved so deeply just accused you of cheating on him.
Quickly turning on your heel you rushed out of HQ still holding the plate with cookies you brought. Getting into your car you drove away towards a nearby beach to sit and think.
You always felt like you were in second place in David's life, but hearing him accuse you of cheating just made you feel even worse. Maybe agreeing to this relationship knowing how much he still liked Annie was a mistake...
Deciding to pull out your phone you sent him a quick text saying “We need to talk. It's important.” Before putting your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and driving home. 
Deacon was already waiting at home for you with a worried look on his face and upon seeing you he started asking a million questions as to where you were. 
“I think we should break up.”
You interrupted him, Deacon's face fell and he looked hurt and confused. “But I thought-” You just shook your head no. “This isn't working. I'll never be first place for you. It'll always be Annie since she's your first and only true love. I overheard what you said at the station and I just can't keep doing this. I can't keep on feeling like I'm less important to you.” You said while wiping away a few tears. 
“Y/n sweetheart….that's not true. I love you and you're my number one girl. Annie is just a friend to me. I've known her for so long it wouldn't make sense for me to just cut her off suddenly.” Deacon said while frowning. 
“I'm done. I'm sorry Deac, I'll go pack my things now. I'll come grab the rest of my stuff tomorrow.” You said while heading further into the house and towards your shared bedroom before grabbing a bag and packing some essentials while Deacon just watched with pure heartbreak and anguish written all over his face. “But we can still be friends right?” He asked nervously to which you shook your head. 
“I think it's for the best if for now we don't contact or see each other for some time.” You replied while zipping up your bag. “I'm sorry David.” You said softly while kissing his cheek one last time before heading out of the door. 
It wasn't fair to either you or Deacon. You knew he always loved Annie more. I mean she's perfect…
-
A few weeks later Deacon and Annie started to date again and seeing their new photos on the social media platforms you were still following Deacon on, you felt like crying. You always knew it would probably end up like this. You'd get your heart broken and Deacon would end up with Annie. But at least you broke the cycle of constantly getting your heart broken every time Deacon sang praises about Annie right…?
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agendabymooner · 1 year ago
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keeper ! alex a. x ofc (kpop idol!ofc)
"and she my backup like to say she was my plan b. kinda ironic 'cause with her, i'd start a family."
summary: in which polly jintara berkshire, whose friend was an ex of an f1 driver, juggles her role as a blackpink member and alex albon's girlfriend. OR this is just a series of photos showing how down bad the couple are for one another ❤️
content warning: chatfic + tweets, use of explicit language, a lot of dirty jokes (nothing graphic), alex albon is a blink, references to stormzy songs, fluff
note: the title and quote is referring to my favourite tobi and manny song. anyway enjoy xx (i hope my jokes are funny enough)
masterlist
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tagged blackpinkofficial, boamckinnon, thepolsci
liked by nicholaslatifi, jennierubyjane, roses_are_rosie
alex_albon kicking my feet when thepolsci pointed and winked at me tbh 😍😩 have my kids pinned by alex_albon
thepolsci no U HAVE MY KIDS 🥰 liked by alex_albon
landonorris absolutely shameless
georgerussell63 this isn't who we are, alex 🤦‍♂️
user1 bro who did you even go with 😭
alex_albon latifi 😊
user2 WHAT ARE YALL DOING IN A BLACKPINK CONCERT EVEN 😭
user3 alexander albon, driver on sundays and a blink every other day 💖
user4 lad i think it's a spider not a snake?
user5 shhhh don't ruin it for him. he's just being himself &lt;3
user6 i just want him to show up one of these days in an interview and begin bonking the other drivers with his light stick like pLEASE ALEX
williamsracing cool stuff alex, but why didn't you take me there -logan liked by alex_albon
alex_albon big kids only, sorry mate. i'll bring the merch to you tho!
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tagged thepolsci, ygentertainment, blackpinkofficial
liked by jennierubyjane, boamckinnon, logansargeant
user1 NO ALEX YOU LOOK COOL NEXT TO HER
user2 we gotta humble him- booooo get back in the car albono
charles_leclerc tell her she's very cool liked by alex_albon
alex_albon she doesn't need reminder 😎
jennierubyjane do we go to you for free marketing?
alex_albon no, you'd have to give me pols for the whole year then i can do free advertising
williamsracing this is not what your pr manager taught you and you know that alex
roses_are_rosie don't worry, your level of coolness heightened a little! liked by alex_albon
alex_albon phew! i thought i brought her down to my level tbh
thepolsci don't say that to yourself, you utter dickhead
alex_albon ily
user3 YES ALEX!!!! STREAM MONEY FOR CLEAR SKIN
alex_albon my real skincare routine is money on loop 🎼
thepolsci when we reach 8 figures you can have my kids liked by alex_albon
alex_albon are we talking combined salary for the next few years bc we can start the process now???
oscarpiastri touch grass
logansargeant this is not who we are alex
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tagged thepolsci
liked by pierregasly, lance_stroll, danielricciardo
user1 MAN IS THIRSTY
user2 AND HE'S OWNING HIS THIRSTINESS
user3 now this- this is the standard
user4 are you talking about the picture or the guy who posted it?
user3 yes.
thepolsci screaming crying wailing
thepolsci on my knees frfr 😩😭 liked by alex_albon
alex_albon stay there 😇🏃‍♂️
user5 ALEX ?!!!
user6 MAN IS DOWN BAD
user7 if my gf is a baddie and a keeper i'd be down bad too 😭🤭 don't make fun of my boy like that
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tagged alex_albon
liked by logansargeant, roses_are_rosie, jennierubyjane
user1 tbh a trip to paris doesn't hurt 🤔
user2 i want him or i want to be him idk 🧐
user3 ain't no way these two just made stormzy references on their posts
user4 girl serenaded alex with sidemen diss tracks before it's no wonder she posted this with a uk rap song 😭
user5 THAT'S PEAK LMFAO
alex_albon never!!!! liked by thepolsci
thepolsci ily bitch
alex_albon aren't you the sweetest 😩
thepolsci say it back 🥲
alex_albon thx buddy 🤩
thepolsci nvm i h8 you
user6 this is an emotional rollercoaster wtf 😭😭
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babybluebex · 14 days ago
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anyway you could please write more Dominic/ angus fics either just domestic life, or pregnant read?
ok i talked a lot ab domestic dom, but domestic angus... 👀
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first of all, let's paint a picture: you meet him at college, it's very meet-cute while in your undergrad at harvard university, you're both studying in the library and need to use the same big dusty textbook at the same time so you sit next to each other and share it, but it's not a lot of studying a lot more whispered conversations and flirting, and he walks you back to your dorm and as he watches you go inside, he thinks, for the first time in his life, how much he would like to have a life with you, like sure he's been horny before and has had crushes, but never anything like that
anyway fast forward, you're both graduated and in your post-grad programs, and you've been dating for like 5 years at this point?? angus got close to proposing to you when you both graduated but decided not to do that bc he didn't want to be the reason that you decided not to pursue grad school, so he's kept that to himself (but fully has a ring and is just waiting for what he thinks is the right time)
WELL you discover one day in march that you think?? you might be?? pregnant?? and obviously you and angus had talked about kids before, you've been dating for 5 years, of course you've talked about it, so you know that angus is riding the dr. spencer reid train, ab how he's worried that he has his father's sickness and how he doesn't want to pass it down to any potential kids and how he thinks he'll ultimately be a bad father bc look at the material he has to work with yknow
but you tell him that you're going to the doctor to see but you're like "it's possible that i'm just late on my period, the stress of startin g my masters program yknow, but i'm keeping you updated just in case" but he's like "can i come with you?" and you tell him it's a little useless bc you're certain you're just late like "i know what's gonna happen, i'm going to the doctor's tomorrow morning, and then tomorrow night my period will come, and i'll have been paranoid for nothing" but he's like "nah if there's a chance, i'm gonna be there"
and. whoops. but you've been so careful! you don't know how this happened! but angus is immediately very excited, and you talk it over that night at dinner and you're like "i do want a baby... i just.. i dunno, i thought we'd be married and shit by the time we had a baby..." and angus instantly gets up from the table and goes and gets the ring he has, and he's like "here :) we can get married before the baby gets here :) if you'd like that :)"
and of course you do, and you ask him like "how long have you had that???" and he's all pinky and shy like "... a while..." and you DO chalk your crying up to pregnancy hormones, but angus slips the ring onto your hand and he can't stop cheesing all night
and the next 10 months fly by in a snap, you tell all your friends and family that you're engaged and pregnant, and of course angus's mom and stepdad want to make a big deal out of it, like want a big traditional church wedding and shit, but like that's not you?? and you're not gonna compromise with your mother in law like you refuse to, and especially when your tummy starts to swell and press against your jeans, you don't want to try to pretend that you're anything but you, no matter how badly judy clotfeltter wants you to be some perfect sweet little wife to her son
you end up marrying angus right around halloween time, a cold breeze chills your spine and angus holds your hand as you go up the steps to city hall, one of your friends from university is your legal witness, and your marriage is finalized with the pen leaking a lil on your fingers so the polaroid your friend snaps has you with a smudge of black ink on your cheek that you had no idea about until angus wipes it off with his thumb
and angus oh my god, he is RELISHING in being a husband and a father-to-be, he never ever thought he' d be the domestic type but he finds such peace in the promise that you're there for him no matter what, doesn't matter if his doctoral advisor told him that he has to push back his research deadline or if his mother had called and mentioned something about his father, he knows for a fact that you'll be on the couch when he gets home, surely listening to the new linda ronstadt record and singing to your belly, and that he can come lay his head in your lap and you'll brush out his curls and kiss his ear and listen to him bitch and moan and get everything out of his system
and every night before bed, after your shower, he insists on (and gets a little pouty if you deny him) rubbing cocoa butter into your tummy and kissing your stretch marks and listening to you bitch and moan about how your back hurts and you feel your heartburn in your toes and how you hate hate HATE the way your body doesn't even look like yours anymore, and when you get teary and whimper out how you're so nervous and scared about everything, angus is so good to you, he holds you and wipes up your tears and holds your face and assures you that any kid who get to you call his mom is like winning the lottery here bc "baby, you are so kind and smart and funny, and god you're a knockout, fuckin the best woman to ever walk the earth, i know it, and baby won't have a choice but to love you and appreciate the fuck outta you"
and you nest like a motherfucker even though you don't know the baby's sex, you agonize over what color to paint the walls of the nursery (which was angus's office previously, but he donated most of his old textbooks that were just taking up space, although he DID keep the like 6 year old copy of aurelius' meditations for some reason, even tho he's like never even opened it) and finally angus helps you decide on a nice light green, soft to the eyes, but he will not let you do any of the painting or even be in the room bc "paint fumes, mrs tully, bad for you and bad for baby!"
eventually, christmas comes and goes, and new years too, and you're so pregnant that you feel like a fucking blimp, and baby will not stop kicking your ribs omg, but angus adores pressing his palm to your stomach and feeling baby kick his hand, his eyes glitter and he smiles all lopsided "holy shit..."
and then one night you're grading papers (since part of your masters' program requires you to TA for at least one semester, so might as well do the spring term before baby arrives) when there's a tight cramp low in your belly and suddenly your seat and sweatpants are soaked, and you're like "umm??!!"
and angus is out with some friends that night, first time in a WHILE that he gets to hang out so OF COURSE baby decides it's his time to shine, and you phone the bar angus told you they'd be at, and you ask the bartender to ask for angus, and he comes to the phone pretty quick "hey, what's up?" he asks all casual-like
"angus i either just pissed myself right now or my water just broke"
he tells you to stay right where you are and he'll come get you, and you like?? don't know what to do with yourself?? so you change clothes out of your damp pants and get the bag that angus had meticulously packed in prep for this exact moment, a onesie for baby and shit like that
and angus wants so badly to be in the delivery room but he's like Not A Fan of it, he loves you and every part of you, as well as every part of his baby, but the sight of all of it makes his stomach turn, so he stands upwind by your head and focuses all on your face, wiping up the sweat that dots your hairline and trying to keep you calm
all things considered, it happens quick as fuck, you get to the hospital around 10pm , and by 4am your baby is earth-side, and the relief that washes over you when you hear their tiny little screaming is all warm in your chest, and you let your head fall back and you laugh a little "jesus christ..." and angus kisses your face and pushes your hair out of your eyes "oh my fucking god, baby... we've got a baby"
and when you see them for the very first time, all cleaned up, your eyes water up at the little pink hat they put on her fuzzy head— you had never learned the sex on purpose, and your little daughter is all rosy and small and she's here, she's real and here, and you had never understood what people meant when they said that instincts kick in until the nurse puts her on your chest, and your arms come and cuddle her and gently rub her back, and you softly shush her whines and she settles down in an instant
"hi pretty girl" you whisper because she is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, and you see the little bump on the bridge of her nose, and you look up to see the same nose on her father, and you can't help but cry
and seeing angus holding her for the first time, his big hands dwarf her tiny little 6 and a half pound body, and he's looking at her like she's a space alien like "holy shit... our daughter... she smells really good... like, warm milk or somethin..."
and getting little miss violet tully home, and angus hangs out in her nursery and watches her sleep, and there's a couple times in those first few weeks where you're like "ang... you have a meeting on campus in an hour..." and he's just heart-eyes at violet like "but i just wanna watch her forever!"
her hair starts to come in, brassy but dark, just like angus's baby hair, and her blue newborn eyes pretty quickly darken down to a dark hazel-y brown, and you're talking to some friends of yours like "i carry her for close to a year, and she ends up looking nothing like me and everything like her father"
but in the morning, when angus gets violet up from her crib and brings her into the bedroom to wake you up and cuddle, with your husband's cheek on your shoulder and your daughter cooing on your chest, everything seems so right
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ideasarestuckinmyhead · 4 months ago
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Can I get an imagine for an AU where Sugarboo was the one to kill Derek?
Like,,, Alphonse and Seth both survive (albeit wounded), Auron pays off the cops to stop investigating as a token of thanks, but now Sugarboo has to tell their boys that they killed someone.
Oh the ANGST!! Bc how do you tell the two people that didn't want your hands to get blood on them that you killed the guy that started all of this?
I think it's similar to how Jessie got found with blood all over her. Sugarboo is just looking at the two smiling wide as they give Boo horrified looks.
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"I needed to protect you two....I'm so sorry." Whispering out as Sugarboo clutches the gun in their hand. Alphonse wishes he never had it in his car now, and Seth is frozen in place.
"Boo?"
"Sugar....oh no..."
The two men don't know how to feel, as they watched Boo start crying. Causing them to finally move and go to hug their third, who began sobbing into the arms of the two.
Auron, hears this all. Guilt is all in his head as he started making phone calls. Then after a while he finally walks out, Boo noticed him first and the red head speaks.
"I'll make sure your protected from the law. You three should go, I'll handle everything else." Telling the three Auron then walked a bit away. As his phone is clutched in his hands, rings are heard and he speaks quietly into the phone.
Alphonse was about to speak but, Seth held him back. So, taking his word they went back to the apartment. Jessie was standing out front on a phone call, when seeing their car her face turned to shame.
Seth ignored her as she opened her mouth and just helped Sugarboo out the car. Sharply taking in a breath Jessie saw the blood, but looked away when Seth threw a glare. Alphonse opened the door to the apartment and helped Seth walk Boo in.
Charlie was inside, sitting on the couch with his concussion he had. But stayed completely silent as the trio walked in. Boo looked shaken as they sat on the couch across from him.
Seth whispered something to them as he gently took the gun from their hands. Alphonse walked away and began a bath, both men were quietly talking to each other.
"Boo, come on let's get you cleaned up." Whispering to his lover, they stood up and followed him to the bath. Seth went into the kitchen and began patching up his wounds. Finally placing a ice pack on his head where he got hit in the back of it.
Alphonse then emerged from the bathroom and did the same. He held a bag where it held Boo's bloody clothes, giving Seth a nod he walked out the apartment. Going through the door he heard Jessie cussing someone out, she was getting heated while on the phone.
"I should have fucking killed that bastard! You red headed fuck..........you better make sure this doesn't get tout and make their life perfect again!" She then clicked the phone harshly. Gripping her hair as she tried and steady her breathing, then looked up.
"Hey....Ma." Mumbling Alphonse glanced at her. The older woman fixed her composer and smiled tired. Then saw the bag and held out her hand.
"I'll handle that, it's their clothes ain't it?" Asking got her a nod in response and she took the bag. Then went to the van, grabbing more. "I'll burn the clothes, just make sure sugar is eased. They can have these, they'll fit." Gently giving the clothes Jessie then walked away.
Choosing to just have a bit of peace, Alphonse went back inside. He saw Seth without his jacket, coming out of the bedroom. Giving the sad eyed man a smile Alphonse held up the clothes given to him.
"These are for Boo. Can you give them to 'em? I need to patch myself up." The brown haired man nodded and walked away with the clothes. Beginning to heal himself the pinkette finally noticed the blonde on the couch.
"Hey, Chuck. Your head good?" Worried slightly, he decided to ask. Charlie flinched being addressed but nodded, he didn't want to say anything right now.
As Alphonse got himself fixed up, he heard crying coming from the bedroom. Both Seth's and Boo's, looking down he held his face. How the fuck are they going to deal with this now?
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kurosstuff · 7 months ago
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Bunny Reader and Bunny Lute!!
Hiii! ✨Lute says something really hurtful during an argument and R's ears immediately droop down as a sign of sadness -plus crying. R insists she's fine despite her ears and crying being a dead give away. *Maybe lute's ears end up drooping too bc she feels horrible for making her mate sad* In the end Lute manages to make up with her and they cuddle in their bunny formsss!!!
I just think it'd be cute. Thank youuu🌼
OMG YEQHz
short fic♡ hope you like it still SPRRY ABOUT THAT♡♡
Warning(s): arguments
Bunny!lute x bunny!reader: arguments.
Arguments was a common thing in relationships. Especially if one of the partners is a stubborn person. Which just so happened to be your mate- Lute. A very common fight being her inability to relax. To take a break from training.
"Lute" you grumbled foot thumping, annoyed at this happening once more. How Lute hardly took care of herself "didn't you say you'd take the weekend off?" You growled out ears, twitching annoyed, watching her stop.
"Yeah. I did."
Before she started again, before turning to hit the dummy with her spear ad if you weren't there. Like what she promised didn't matter to her
"You promised. Me." You growled out the usual arguments always started, how she'd glare yelling at you
How she threw her spear down. Scowling as you both bicker with one another. But something was different. Maybe it was from how it always ended like this. Or from the stress of work.
"-Maybe if you weren't a fucking useless bynby yiu could help out. And not sit here-" she started before stopping cursing herself seeing the tears in your eyes. Once she touched that subject.
She knew you wanted to help. Wanted to get strong to help. But given the type of bunny you are. It's unsafe to do so "no, no baby- i- I'm so sorry." Seeing, your ears drooped sadly. Hers following feeling guilty for upsetting her mate holding your hands she sighed "your doing perfectly well. I'm sorry"
"Its ok" you choked out pulling away from her turning crying softly ignoring how she attempts to apologize before she sighed. Holding your waist
"My mate.. I.. let's cuddle?" She hummed our. Apologizes never being her strongest suit. Even with you- wasn't raised that way. "Let me make it up to you?"
She truly does love you.
It's quiet before you sighed, turning to her silently, "cuddled. No more training this week. No talks and.. I'll forgive you, "
"Deal"
Didn't even need to think about it. When it comes to you. She'll put you first in her own way. In her own attempt turning, she rushed off to write down a note. To remind herself of this and to go out to grab you a little gift as an apology.
Coming into your shared room she looked around ears twitching before seeing movement in the nest "..there you are my mate" she whispered softly watching for a moment
Seeing you in your shared nest huffing still upset thumping your foot made her heart break more than it has. "Oh baby," Lute whispered, leaning down before sighing, turning into her bunny form, joining you in the nest- her bigger form curling around you chirping softly- apologizing again to you knowing she has your forgiveness but.. she feels horrible. Feeling you nuzzle into her side she hummed tail wagging.
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