#and i immediately block people that break that
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pinkandpurple360 · 2 days ago
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https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=15242824150A06410000&page=190#comment-4740
Andre and Stella waiting for Via's birthday to get Stolas busted is one plot point that at least makes sense - as soon as she's of age she can immediately inherit the palace, legions and etc.
I have to say I'm less optimistic than the poster about what will happen if Stolas forgets Via's birthday, though - or at least the part where they say the script shouldn't give Stolas an excuse. I think it's entirely plausible Viv will write it so that Stolas only forgets for a reason that isn't his fault - the trial is the perfect excuse for that, same as the leaked storyboards show Stella blocking his calls so nothing his fault there, either.
I mean surely even Viv knows people will think Stolas is undeniably a terrible father (or more of one) if he outright forgets his daughter's 18th birthday and she doesn't insert an 'it's totally a misunderstanding!' excuse into the script so she can blame Via for being upset at her father neglecting her for the third time she's been onscreen in the show.
Of course he’ll have plausible deniability under all circumstances this is how this show works now. Viv and Brandon both hate Octavia for getting in the way of the shows main (failing) selling point. In season one it wasn’t like that, but in season 2 he’s the poster boy. Every character no matter who they are, must break personality and rationale to defend stolas and apologise to him for how he makes them feel, or else they’re evil villains.
Haven’t people accepted this yet?
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Um, I’m gonna be completely honest (and this might sound a little unnecessary, but I’m gonna put this out there anyway): I’m much LESS upset Starline lost (it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day and I’ll get over it 3 seconds from now ☠️) and MORE upset people can fling CRAZY accusations at us just for the heck of it and still win at the end of the day 😭
Like- who said we hate lesbians and apologize for abusers again??? 😭
Obviously it isn’t everyone but it’s enough to suck all the fun out of everything 😭
^^^
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signanothername · 1 month ago
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I know I keep asking this and you only answer when its anon but please please what is your opinion on Cross and a reference or full body comic. Please Anó I'm not trying to be bothersome but I'm balling by eyes out on your so few Cross drawings.
*Disintegrates*
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say you didn’t see this sign (refer to no.4 in that post please) and this sign (read the full post)
Whether someone is on Anon or not isn’t in the equation when I answer an ask, I answer asks that I can answer easily way more quickly cause I already have that answer with me on the ready, other asks I take some time for reasons that I am not obligated to share
If I happen to only answer your questions when you’re on Anon, it’s merely a coincidence and nothing more
I find it hilarious cause I literally just got a friend’s opinion on which design I should go for Cross’ jacket just a few minutes before I got this ask
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I’m not some sort of machine that is able to bump out artworks or answers for asks as they come, have some fucking respect for my time and understand that when you send an ask, you’re talking to a human behind that fucking screen, and that doesn’t just go for me, but for every fucking blog on this hellsite
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densewentz · 1 year ago
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hey in case anyone needs the reminder
fuck ai, and fuck the people using it to steal and scrape from artists and writers and actors and creators because they can't be fucked to pay for or learn a craft that requires passion and devotion
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cinnabundolly12 · 10 months ago
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This site confuses me so much I sometimes feel like I'm not supposed to reply to stuff (unless it's a moot/you're a "popular" figure in the community) since people don't respond after that like you even thinking about replying was stupid in the first place
Or maybe it's just because I give bad vibes and they immediately regret looking in my direction- I don't usually talk to people anymore because I "talk too much" and I sense the vibe that I annoyed them especially when they try avoiding me
Or maybe I haven't learned enough unspoken tumblr rules because they weren't mention in the "welcome to tumblr" posts I saw
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mindshelter · 1 year ago
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anyway. two days ago i was on a bus with 30+ minutes left to my destination when a guy in front of me very abruptly got up and plunked his ass to the empty seat next to mine, introduced himself and asked for my number. i was so frazzled i just kinda went ... uhh... okay? and let him hand me his phone. and i feel... dumb for doing that and not having any sort of mental script ready and not even giving him a fake number, but he also ... called my cell on the spot to make sure it was the right number? so. lmao. what would have even been the right option. he stayed for another couple minutes trying to make conversation. we were on such a long stretch of road, and i had a window seat so when he sat down i physically had zero exit anyway. he got back into his original seat afterwards but i still feel like i was being an idiot days later. eh
verdict: :(
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bloodbankzz · 6 months ago
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it is painful to learn the "normal" ways that people reasonably around my age were motivated to do things their parents wanted, ie chores or getting good grades in school. this is a pain that has built over time because, seeing it around me as a kid, i could reason that maybe every single one of my friends were just spoiled. but, eerily, every time it seems the topic of motivating children comes up in whatever conversation is bringing it up, it seems like. and it still feels presumptuous to say. but most people as children were rewarded for good behavior. the one i was most envious of as a child was that multiple of my friends got paid money for getting As, and it was actually very shocking to me to find out that that is at least kind of a little more universal than i really really was sure it was not, but that's not the big thing that causes me pause now. generally, it seems, children are rewarded in some way for doing things their parents ask of them. writing and then stepping back and reading such a sentence makes me feel like an alien trying to puzzle out the function of the human pancreas lmfao but i dont know. in the wider conversations where this happens to come up, describing these motivators is never the point, which is maybe part of the difficulty for me. it's really hard to process that not everyone was doing what their parents said to do out of cold pure fear for their life. there's so many things it turns out other kids were getting. stickers and movie tickets and candy and praise and love. i am so sad.
#abuse tw#its hard to evensay because in a way somehow im still sure every single person is going to turn on me#despite this having been a long growing revelation based on things other people have said without it even being possible for me to have#influenced what they were saying i am like#deeply sure somehow that everyone will Know i really am just the entitled spoiled ungrateful one#idiot dont you know everyone gets screamed at and hit and chased down until theyre cowering with their back to the wall begging for mercy#all possible exits blocked because you didnt want to go out to eat with the rest of your family after church service? why would you even sa#something stupid like what you just did. you know it was right after all. just like when you got a B in that class you remember and you kno#you KNOW what happened was right#you only whine to other people because youre such a fucking bitch trying to smear the good name of your poor parents. they suffer to the da#<- in my mind i write this and immediately every person i know comes out of the shadows to say this to me because its what theyve believed#and known all along and then they all leave me and i die here#i probably need to go back to therapy but ive spent 5 years doing weekly sessions + months in an institute and i dont know if at this point#anything is going to help#5 years of my life 5 years#ive heard what feels like fucking everything#i crack open a work book or jusgt a like a normal book on the topic of (insert mental disorder) and i have already read it a billion fuckin#times and i keep up with the meditation and the journaling until it drives me freaking bonkers and i have to take a break from the frustrat#-on like WHAT do i do. at this point fuck it we ball + just make sure to stay on alert for snake oil salesmen bc i know im vulnerable#in this sort of position
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thevalleyoftriumph · 1 year ago
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you ever see a post with a great point or maybe a great idea or something idk like an overall pretty ok post, and then they just start repeating themself needlessly and for no reason so you just get really annoyed and go "ok shut up actually i dont care"
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starlit-mansion · 8 months ago
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when i get too bummed out about seeing sour grapes complaints about ootj... i just have to remind myself that the prerelease is going to be fun as hell and no one i've talked to in my area about the hobby is bitter and angry about it
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laligraves · 6 months ago
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morning run
joel miller x fem!reader
[18+] | wc: ~ 2.8k summary: Joel overhears your argument with the neighbor. masterlist | AO3
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warnings: HBO Joel, TLOU AU, dubious consent (i'm so serious, don't read if it makes you uncomfortable), NSFW, pre/no outbreak, some proofreading, Joel is a tall and very strong man, older man/college-aged reader, Joel lives in a wealthy neighborhood with an HOA (homeowners association), no use of y/n or too many details on reader's appearance, somewhat public setting, breeding kink (kinda), fingering, squirting, unprotected sex, creampie
“These HOA people are vultures,” your sister mutters. 
You look up from your laptop and watch out the window as the committee leaves on their golf cart, most likely on their way to torment another house on the block. 
“Is it that big of a deal that my flower garden has the wrong color of roses?” 
“There’s a wrong color of roses?” you ask in confusion. 
“Yes! The president of the HOA, Susan,” you sister spits out in disdain, “only wants light pink roses on this block.” 
She slams the written warning on the entrance table and storms off into the kitchen. “I’m not sure how her husband stands her. I guess that’s why he spends so much time at the golf course.” 
You follow her into the kitchen, partly because you want a break from your assignments and also because you want to hear more gossip about her new neighborhood. 
“You know she made me pay a fine because my car was left on the driveway after hours? It’s my driveway!” 
You raise your eyebrows in surprise. “Suddenly, I’m not so jealous about your new place.” 
She throws a sponge at your head. 
“Why don’t you just say no?” you ask as you narrowly dodge the sponge. 
“I’ve tried so hard to be nice to everyone here. But all Susan does is turn people against me. Everytime I walk outside to grab the mail or go to work, people give me dirty looks!” 
You don’t like seeing your sister like this. It’s her home. One she worked very hard to buy in this wealthy neighborhood. No one has the right to make her feel like an outsider. So you develop a plan. 
You find out Susan’s schedule fairly easily. Every morning at 8 a.m. she walks her husband to his car and kisses him goodbye before he leaves for work. She then walks back inside for her notebook and pen to then walk around the neighborhood. 
She stops at every house to ensure it fits her standards and if they don’t, she leaves a written warning on the front door. During the weekends, she and her gang of friends drive around on a golf cart to give out even more citations. 
So at exactly 7:55 A.M., you make your way to her house. You’re careful in the outfit you chose this morning: a tight sports bra and running shorts. She, and most importantly her husband, are definitely going to notice you. 
You slow down as you round the corner, already seeing her husband place his briefcase in the backseat of his beamer. She walks right behind him with a lunch pail and kisses his cheek. You shout out a good morning and watch as they both turn to look at you. 
Her right eye immediately begins to twitch and she plasters on a fake smile. His eyes do an appreciative sweep of your body as he walks to the end of the driveway. 
“Good morning! Susan,” he says turning to his wife, “why didn’t you tell me we had a new neighbor?” 
He grasps your hand and gives it a firm shake. His thumb caresses the back of your hand as he slowly lets go. Susan finally reaches the both of you and grabs onto her husband's arm to pull him away. 
You give him a sweet smile, pushing your chest out in a calculated move so he has no choice but to look.   
“I’m just visiting my sister over on Ocean Avenue. The neighborhood is so nice I thought it would be perfect for my morning runs.” 
“I agree, you can run anytime you want–” 
“Sweetie,” Susan interrupts in a high-pitched voice, “you’re going to be late.”
He asks for your name and what you’re studying in college, then shakes your hand again while Susan seethes next to the driver’s side door. He drives off, promising a tour of the country club later that day. You're left standing alone with Susan, just as you wanted.  
“Look here, young lady,” she snarls, “this is a neighborhood full of families. Not some frat house. We do not allow blatant displays of–of–well this ,” she says as she motions to your workout attire. “I am going to write your sister a citation for this disrespectful action.” 
“Well, that does make me sad. I guess I’ll have to ask your husband to cheer me up later when I visit him.” 
Her face turns beet red and you wonder briefly if steam will come out of her ears. “What did you just say?” 
“Your husband was so nice in inviting me to the country club, how can I say no? I really need to work on my swing–” 
“You stay away from my husband,” she whispers, pointing a finger at your face, “or I will find a way to run your sister out of this neighborhood.” 
“Leave my sister alone,” you say as you walk right up to her and push her finger out of the way, “or I’ll fuck your husband.”
Susan gasps, dramatically placing a hand over her mouth. 
“I’ll make sure he finishes inside me, too. Maybe give him a baby.” 
With that, you continue your jog down the sidewalk. You don’t notice Susan’s neighbor, who stands by his gate and watches you run off.  
You continue your jogs for the next few days, waving at Susan and her husband every morning. You and Susan come to an unspoken agreement: she stops bothering your sister and you make sure to stay away from her husband. 
Just as you jog past her house, you notice an envelope on the sidewalk. It’s next to a brick mailbox that has the name Miller written on a plaque. You check the envelope and sure enough you see it's made out to a Joel Miller . 
You walk up to the iron gate that matches the address and call out a hello , but no one answers. There’s red roses that wrap around the expansive gate which look and smell beautiful, but block your view inside. You test the handle of the gate and luckily it opens. 
“They must’ve dropped it when getting the mail this morning,” you mumble to yourself. 
“Mornin’, doll,” a gruff voice calls out to your right. 
You jump slightly and turn to look, finding a man crouched by the gate. He stands to his full height and you have to tilt your head up just so you can keep eye contact. 
“Good morning,” you whisper. 
He’s older and handsome, much more attractive than the college boys you're used to. He places his gardening shears down and takes off his gloves to shake your hand. You do your best to control the shiver that courses through your body at the touch of his warm skin. 
“Joel,” he states, swiping his other hand through his salt and pepper hair. 
You open your mouth to say your name, but he beats you to it. 
“How did you know–” 
“I heard your conversation with Susan the other day,” Joel interrupts with a slight smirk. 
His hand tightens for a moment until he lets go, dragging his fingers over your palm. You feel embarrassment wash over your body and you quickly hand him the envelope. 
“Right–um, how much of the conversation did you hear?” 
He lets out a laugh and drops the envelope into a basket that you’ve now just noticed. It’s full of the same red roses that cover his gate. 
“Just the part where you threatened to fuck her husband if she didn’t leave your sister alone,” he says, placing his hands on his hips. “Effective threat, it seems.” 
His eyes sweep over your body and you become hyper aware of the workout clothes you're wearing. Once again, a sports bra and running shorts. 
“She’s backed down,” you say after a few moments, crossing your arms to cover your pebbling nipples. 
“So,” he continues while walking closer, “you offerin’ to fuck every man on the block or just her’s?” 
His words send a shock wave through your body, landing right between your legs. You ignore the pulsing in your cunt and instead lift your hand to slap him across the face. 
As if he’s able to sense what you’re about to do, he catches your wrist before your hand makes contact with his face. 
“How dare you–”  
“Don’t act so innocent now,” he growls, pushing your body against the gate. “You told Susan you were going to let ‘em fill you up. Put a baby inside of you.” 
Your back makes contact with the gate, luckily in a place where there’s no thorns. You try to push out of his hold, confused at how much you enjoy being manhandled by an older man you just met. 
“Let me go or I’ll scream–”
“Joel?” a familiar high-pitched voice interrupts you. “Are you there?” 
Your body stills at the sound of Susan’s voice. Theoretically, you could use this opportunity to scream for help. Sure, you’d have to face Susan again, but you’d be able to escape. 
Except, Joel manages to pick up your lower body and push his jean-covered cock right against your cunt. You wrap your legs around his waist to not fall and place one hand on the iron gate behind you.
He rocks against you, moving a finger in front of his mouth, motioning you to stay quiet. Your mouth drops open in surprise as he grabs your hips and begins to grind you down on him. 
“Yes, ma’am. What can I help you with?” Joel responds. 
She tries to open the gate and you press your body back so she won’t see you. You’re not quite sure why you’re trying to hide. 
“Joel, honey. Your gate is locked,” she says. “Come unlock it and let me in.”  
Through your daze, you faintly register her tone. Did she just call him honey?  
“Sorry, Susan. It does that sometimes. I’ve got my hands full at the moment,” Joel calls out, giving you another hard thrust. 
You bite your lip to stop the moan that threatens to escape. 
“That’s okay, I just wanted to stop by and warn you about the young lady that’s staying with her sister over on Ocean Avenue.” 
Joel raises his eyebrow and stops his movements, dropping your thighs from his hold. You're shocked again, feeling dejected that he’s stopping.  
He quickly spins you around and bends you over, pushing a hand between your thighs. You grab onto the iron gate once more and slap a hand over your mouth as he begins to rub a big hand over your thin shorts. 
“Warn me?” he calls out. “What’s this young lady been up to?” 
“Well, that–that– tramp ,” Susan spits out, “is acting in ways that she shouldn’t. I know you’re a hardworking man who has done so much for our community and the last thing I want is this girl making you uncomfortable.” 
Joel yanks down your shorts and plunges a thick finger inside of you. You’d roll your eyes at her words but instead they're rolling into the back of your skull. He thrusts his finger a few times and calls out a is that right to Susan. 
Joel adds another finger and you almost fall at the stretch. If those are just his fingers, you wonder how big his cock is. He uses his other hand to keep you steady and continues to fuck you with his thick fingers while talking to her. 
“I just,” Susan continues, “I don’t know what to do. Maybe we can find a way for the sister to leave? If we all band together?” 
Joel removes his hand from between your legs and places it on your back to keep you in place. This time you actually struggle in his hold, wanting to face Susan and give her a piece of your mind. 
“Now, Susan,” Joel admonishes, “don’t go blaming the sister for the younger one’s actions. There’s no need to be spiteful to our new neighbor. There’s more than enough room in this neighborhood for everyone.” 
You stop, surprised that Joel is standing up for your sister. He presses against you and you feel the roughness of his jeans on your bare skin. He brings you in close, gently rubbing his crotch on your slick cunt. 
“Oh, you’re so right, Joel. I just get so caught up in the politics of the HOA. I want this community to be perfect.” 
A wet glob of spit lands on your asshole and you clench in surprise. Joel quietly unzips his jeans and takes out his cock. 
“Fucking perfect little asshole,” he whispers, pushing the tip of his cock right on your hole. “Not today, baby. Today is that juicy, little cunt.” 
You arch your back and barely manage to stifle a whimper when he teases the tip of your entrance. 
“What was that, Joel?” Susan calls out. 
“That the community is already perfect, Susan.” 
His voice sounds annoyed at this point. 
“You think so, Joel? Thank you, I–” 
Joel uses that moment to plunge inside of you, bumping your g-spot and reaching so deep that you choke on your own spit. 
“I’m getting a call, Susan,” Joel says through gritted teeth, “I’ll speak to you later.” 
Susan gives a sad goodbye while you bite on your hand to stop your moans. Joel is big, much bigger than any of the boys in your past. Your pussy spasms and flutters over his length and you breathe in deep to adjust to the size. 
“S’tight,” he mutters, ”keep quiet f’me, doll. Too many people on the sidewalk at this time of mornin’.” 
You hum in response, wanting him to fuck you, to stretch you and make you come on his cock. He starts a rhythm, keeping one hand on your waist so you match his thrusts and the other slips between your thighs. 
Sticky wetness drips down your inner thighs and he swipes two fingers through the mess to bring them up to your clit. Joel pistons faster, rubbing harsh circles on your clit that have you accidently whimpering in pleasure. 
“I know, baby,” he coos, “feels so good, doesn’t it?” 
“ Y–yes ,” you whisper. 
“Showing off that pretty body when runnin’ around the neighborhood,” he groans. “Picking fights and trespassing. Just needed someone to fuck some manners into you.” 
Your fingers curl into the iron gate and your back arches even deeper. He speeds up, becomes harsher in his thrusts once he notices your pussy become softer, wetter, gripping his cock with each plunge. 
“Little cunt can barely take my cock,” Joel groans, “fuck, doll. You’re choking me.”
You wish you could bite his neck, leave red hickeys on his tan skin that you imagine tastes like salt and roses and spearmint. Your head spins from lust and you feel the coil in your belly, ready to burst at any moment. 
You hear voices, people walking past on the sidewalk for some early morning exercise. Joel lands a quick slap, slap to your clit and your cumming, clenching hard on his length while you fall apart. 
Your vision blurs and you faintly hear him say there you go, make a fuckin’ mess on me . Wetness spills from your cunt, only making it easier for Joel. You bite hard on your bottom lip to stop the whimpers and your fingers curl into the iron gate. 
“Gonna cum inside this pussy, put a baby in there,” he whispers. 
“ Please, Joel,” you whine. 
He brings your back to his chest, molds his lips to your neck and bites down, moving you like his personal fleshlight. Joel groans in your shoulder and then you feel it, hot pulses of cum, filling you up. 
You hold onto his arm that's branded across your chest and squeeze down on him, milking every drop from his body, wanting it to mark you deep inside.
Joel's body trembles from the exertion and he stumbles as he finishes, turning his body to lean on the iron gate with you still attached to his cock.
He keeps you pressed to him for a few moments, keeping his nose pressed to your neck as he breathes deep. Your own breathing regulates and you become aware of the sensitivity all over your body.
Joel stands straight and gently pulls out. He reaches into his jeans pocket to reach for a clean handkerchief that he uses to clean up between your thighs.
"Same time tomorrow?" he asks.
You manage a rough fuck off and lightly push at his shoulders. He laughs and helps you fix your clothes. He swipes your phone that fell on the ground the moment he pushed you to the gate, having you unlock it so he can put in his phone number.
You make it back home a few minutes later, sore but for the most part, satiated . Your sister gets home hours later, once you've relaxed in her ginormous bathtub and washed away the evidence of your morning run.
"Are you seeing someone?" she teases as she walks in.
"What? No, why?"
"Someone left a giant bouquet of red roses on the porch." 
Sure enough, you find a bouquet of familiar red roses on the front doorstep. You don’t need a notecard to know who they're from. 
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year ago
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Thinking some thoughts.
#so you know how my allergies are really bad right? well if you didn’t know; you know now#it varies year to year and place to place but this summer we’re at ‘two benadryl and still have itchy eyes and eczema’ levels#this spring/summer has been Bad. like really bad. i feel like all my body does is create mucus#which is gross and terrible BUT it has meant i’ve gotten pretty well acquainted with what my allergy symptoms are#with that in mind. throughout 2020-21 (and honestly probably the first half of 2022) i thought i had pretty vicious environmental allergies#at all times. to like.. idk dust? that was the only thing i could assume#because i would wake up every morning and immediately hack up a lung#i had a smoker’s cough basically all the time and it was the WORST time to have it. because y’know. global pandemic in which ‘dry hacking#cough’ was the main and most identifiable symptom#i kept telling people ‘i don’t have covid i have allergies’ and sounding ridiculous because it’d be like november#and the thing is i really genuinely did believe it bc it was really the only symptom i had or experienced#i never got a cold during that time period and my seasonal allergies weren’t that bad because uhhh *checks notes* i barely went out#THIS year though. my seasonal allergies are about as bad as they’ve ever been and THAT is making me realise a really interesting thing#i don’t cough. when i’m having an allergic reaction. my nose gets blocked and runny; my eyes stream and itch; my skin breaks out in hives#but i don’t cough or wheeze at ALL#now there’s still the possibility that i have a dust mite allergy and it presents differently to my seasonal allergies#but nothing has changed in my environment. it’s still the same level of dust. so why.. why would i no longer be coughing#i now present to you my theory. see; i was in paris in january of 2020 and i stayed in a 10 person hostel room because it was dirt cheap#and of my approximately 6 roommates (it wasn’t at full occupancy); about 3 were coughing#i went home and had a pretty bad cold which my mom caught from me and she wound up with complications (an ear infection)#and i proceeded to cough and wheeze every single morning and honestly a few times throughout the day. for the next 2.5 years#obviously i didn’t know about coronavirus back then and even when i found out about it a month or two later; i didn’t really suspect it#a couple of times i’ve joked with my mom ‘what if i was patient zero’ but no genuinely. what if i was#i never tested. there wasn’t even a test. what if i had long covid for two and a half years and thought it was a dust mite allergy#it’s suspicious!!!!#either way; if you need me i’m going to book a doctor’s appointment to see if i can get stronger antihistamines#i would really love to be able to sit outside without drowning in my own snot#personal
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honeydewandcake · 3 months ago
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“Shrimpo, you’re pathetic”
This was based on the note found in Shrimpo’s room! I have so many theories and speculations on everything in his room it’s actually making me go crazy
Read more if you want to listen to my insane ramblings!! ↓
So I have so many things to talk about —
Firstly, the punching bags and holes in the walls. Shrimpo’s hatred towards everyone is always usually verbally, but in his room there’s proof that it’s physically too. This leads me to believe a lot of things:
— Shrimpo is somewhat strong, at least strong enough to break through the walls.
— Shrimpo tries to at least control his anger. He could easily beat someone but he limits himself by only being a verbal bully. He must relieve all his more aggressive emotions in private in his room.
— The wardrobe in his room is partially blocking holes he presumably made. This could either mean that he is embarrassed or he’s trying to hide it to avoid getting in trouble.
Overall, it’s clear that Shrimpo’s anger is a lot more than people might have expected
Secondly, the papers. There’s plenty of other toons that also have crumpled paper in their rooms but to me Shrimpo is the most interesting. Shrimpo is definitely not the type who writes, but the note and trash says otherwise. A few things I immediately think of is:
— Shrimpo can write, but everything he writes is always deemed “not good enough” by him and thrown away.
— Shrimpo is either willingly writing things or being forced to write by others (possibly as a required thing by directors and such).
— The note on his desk can tell a lot about him. The fact that he only writes about the things he hates is expected, but the way it continues is more interesting. He repeatedly writes “hate” over and over and it gets bigger. To me, this looks like Shrimpo having a mental breakdown. It’s not uncommon for someone who’s venting out their frustrations to repeat a phrase or word, but the fact that it gets bigger makes me think Shrimpo is writing it more desperately. He could have been writing to relieve stress but it only made him more frustrated, causing a slippery slope into a terrible episode. If this was in writing and not text, I expect his note to be sloppier than it seems.
— Shrimpo’s discarded paper can mean anything, but the thing I immediately think of is ideas or failed writing. Someone in a server I’m in brought up the idea that the reason why Shrimpo has only posters of himself in his room is because he’s reminding himself of all his flaws. Maybe his writing helps him cope with that or he’s trying to come up with ideas of how to be better.
Shrimpo’s room also has many knocked over furniture. He has multiple desks, traffic cones, trash cans, and a coat hanger.
— This supports my theory that Shrimpo is a lot more aggressive in private. He knocks over furniture out of frustration, imagine someone flipping a table because they got upset at something.
— Shrimpo’s room could have been a storage room. It seems to be more bland (could just be Shrimpo not liking decorating) and it has a lot of useless things. Really, the only thing that makes sense for a room is the desk, wardrobe, and bed.
— A confusing thing to me is the airhorns in his room. Shrimpo could be using these or they just came with the room. If he did use them, it would probably be on other toons as a “screw you” signal.
Sorry I talked so much, usually I don’t like doing this but I needed to yap for a good 5 minutes about my favorite toon. I love you Shrimpo!! No one could make me dislike you!! I will make many, many more theories for you. . . .
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pathologicalreid · 7 days ago
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a long way to go | s.r.
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in which your family breaks no contact and Spencer reminds you that you're doing the right thing
margovember
kindergarten teacher!reader masterlist
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: flangst? (hurt/comfort) content warning: nondescript childhood trauma, kindergarten teacher!reader word count: 1.4k a/n: okay so the request was for angst and it is but the comfort gives fluff. at this point my genres are arbitrary. huge shout out to anyone else who isn't going home for thanksgiving for one reason or another.
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Frowning at the email on your computer, you shifted your weight on your rotating chair and leaned your head back into the chair cover that Garcia had crocheted for you.
We’d love for you to join us.
It felt as though someone had tossed a bucket of ice water over your head, years and years of blocking emails and leaving your phone number unlisted had culminated in this moment. It shouldn’t surprise you; you worked at a public school and your email was listed in the faculty directory, but the sight of your father’s name left a sour taste in your mouth.
You were alone in your classroom, the fluorescent lights were turned off, leaving you in the gentle illumination of the string lights that you kept threaded along the walls. Contract hours were over, but you still had papers that needed to be completed. Opening your email after the final bell had thrown a wrench in your plans.
A knock on your door pulled you out of your haze, you looked up to see Spencer standing in the doorway. You checked the time in the corner of your monitor to find that it was nearly six, well into the evening, and you hadn’t even noticed. “Did we have plans?” You asked, alarm rising in your tone, you looked down at your day planner and didn’t see anything, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t miss something.
“No,” Spencer said immediately, wanting to quell any of your anxieties before they had the chance to develop. “I hadn’t heard from you today, so I might’ve asked Garcia if she had your location on your phone and found that you were at work much later than usual,” he told you, setting his messenger bag on one of your student’s desks before leaning against yours.
You leaned over your desk, setting your chin in your hands and sighing. “You found me,” you mumbled unenthusiastically, eyeing your monitor again.
He’d cut his hair again, in a moment of frustration he’d started snipping, but he ended up calling you for help. It no longer feathered the tops of his eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” Spencer asked, tilting his head to the side and tapping the bobblehead you kept on your desk.
Taking a deep breath, you shook your head, “Nothing, I just have a lot of work to do.” You were designing a holiday coloring page, making the outlines yourself because you didn’t like any of the ones you found on the internet.
“Okay,” Spencer responded, extending his vowels. “Now you’re lying to me,” he said. It wasn’t an accusation; he was merely stating the truth.
It bothered you that he was right, and it bothered you that you lied to him. You shouldn’t feel the need to lie to him because, really, if anyone was going to understand how you felt about the email, it was Spencer. You wedged your hands beneath your thighs, keeping yourself from digging your nails into your palms, “My father sent me an email.”
Dad felt too casual, and his first name felt too detached. He was just your father, someone who had been chosen time and time again over you, and whom you hadn’t spoken to in nearly six years. “When’s the last time you saw him?”
“Five years ago,” you answered distantly, remembering how he’d had the nerve to show up at your college graduation even though the rest of your family knew you weren’t in contact with him. Wetting your lips, you looked back at the email on your screen, “He wants me to spend Thanksgiving with him and his family.” People that you shared no connection to—blood or otherwise—and made up the family that had taken your place in his life.
Spencer straightened up a stack of papers on your desk, the shuffling sound so familiar that it put you at ease, “What do you want to do?”
You pinched your eyebrows together, not used to someone asking for your wants, “I want to reply to him, but I know that engaging with him would be equivalent to opening the floodgates.” Releasing a dam of trauma that wasn’t suited for your kindergarten classroom, “I can’t reply to this email.”
Nodding softly, Spencer studied your eyes with a pained look in his eyes, “I know, honey.”
Taking the computer mouse in your trembling hand, you scrolled over the email and blocked the sender before deleting the email and deleting it from the trash for good measure. Hot tears welled in your eyes as you wrapped your arms around yourself, “I hate him.”
You despised him. A man who you shared blood with just so happened to be someone you hated with bone in your body. Bones he had contributed to that you wished you could pull from your body and replace with an untainted set. What was worse was that he had the ability to influence your emotions like this, he could make you angry with nothing more than digital mail.
Anger felt so useless, it was something he used as armor, and you feared that by being angry, you were becoming like him. You were so horrified by the mere idea of your own anger that it made you cry, and you were terrified of your life becoming one big circle.
They say if you grow up with an angry man in your house, then there will always be an angry man in your house. All you needed was to believe in Spencer’s ability to be gentle, but nothing Spencer did would change the fact that you cried as soon as you were pricked with rage.
Spencer crouched in front of you, taking both of your hands in his larger ones and keeping them warm for you. “You don’t owe them anything,” he told you, watching you carefully with his big brown eyes, “It hurts. I know it hurts right now, but you know that you just did the right thing. I’ll remind you of it for as long as it takes for you to believe it.”
The dam broke then, tears fall from your chin to your lap as Spencer gathered you in his arms to the best of his ability, you tried not to flinch away from his embrace. You reminded yourself that he wasn’t there to hurt you, he was there to help you. He ran his palm flat along your spine as you gave in, burying your face in the crook of his neck and basking in the darkness of your own sorrow.
“You did the right thing,” he muttered softly, pulling away and using the pads of his thumbs to wipe away your tears. “You don’t need to apologize to anyone about it,” he said preemptively, knowing you were about to apologize to him for your show of emotion.
You nodded dazedly, leaning your cheek into his palm as he cupped your face with his hands, “I don’t know what I do now.”
Spencer smiled gently at you, “We’re gonna keep moving forward. Are you hungry? Do you want to get dinner?”
Sighing, you shrugged despondently, looking back at your now blank monitor, “I should get some stuff done.” You wiggled the mouse and typed in your password, you stared blankly at your unfinished coloring page, any and all motivation to finish the drawing had vacated as soon as your father made contact.
“What if,” Spencer started, “You come home with me tonight, and tomorrow I’ll come in with you? You can finish up your work and I’ll get to spend some time with you.” Spencer Reid might just be the only person willing to accompany you to work on a Saturday just because you’re having a hard time.
You bowed your head, “You don’t have to do this, Spence.”
He hummed in response, “I want to, and besides—we have plans to make.”
You frowned, your head lifting so you could look him in the face and inquire for more details, “Plans for what?”
“Thanksgiving,” he responded as if it should’ve been obvious, “You’ll get to join BAUsgiving this year, it’s one of Garcia’s favorite holidays.”
Faltering, your eyes widened at his insistence, and you took a deep breath, “I’m not… I don’t want to intrude on your family time.”
Spencer raised his eyebrows incredulously, “Honey, you’re part of that family now. Besides, sometimes I think the team likes you more than me.”
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conflictofthemind · 5 months ago
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Take Me To Church-Gate
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A few weeks back, I received a tip that Noah and Finn came into Atlanta for a couple of days to rehearse a scene alone together that never ended up being filmed. This was around the time of the convention that Finn ended up missing in early June (and we initially theorized was for the playground scenes).
I since received confirmation of not only this, but that the rehearsal in question was for a scene at the UD church set. The filming never went through because Noah got an eye infection / sty, so the shoot was rescheduled for early August. If you've seen me mentioning looking forward to August, this is what that was about.
The Eye Infection:
Let me link this post to begin with, barring the 'James' stuff who has proven to be false. I heard about the eye infection and my alarm bells rang immediately - I have a friend myself who wears contacts occasionally and whenever they get sties, they're always caused by the contacts. When has Noah worn contacts before in the show? When Will is being possessed by the mindflayer in Season 2.
The church is an interesting location, because it most definitely has to do with Henry as well. When the original countdown for TFS was being posted, there were images of a church - a location that may have been changed during development. The characters most likely go there as part of the continuing Henry investigation.
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And we know Henry was exorcised at some point, but it failed. The sign going into the church is also a likely clue to this, referencing Mark 9:29 - a verse about a failed exorcism.
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Conclusion for this part: Will very likely becomes possessed again while in this church. My source tells me they usually only do big rehearsals like this for scenes involving action, too.
My opinion is that Will was never fully exorcised either. I mean, he still has a clear connection to the mindflayer with all the tingles on his neck and the possible literal psychic connection he has to Vecna as well.
It's Byler, Too:
I suspect that Jamie has some part in the scene as well (given they scheduled it during his latest block on set), but the focus is on Will and Mike - being the only two other main characters on set at the time, and the only two rehearsing.
But going back to the church thing.... I wonder what kind of symbolism is created by bringing two gay characters who both have a lot of internalized shame into a location that is honestly the source of said shame? It's honestly not even symbolism. It might just be referenced in plain text. Looking back at that church sign:
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"This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer"
"This kind" really evokes the dehumanising language used by homophobes to refer to gay people. And the driven out by prayer part, well that really evokes conversion 'therapy' practices of praying the gay away. So what if this is where Will and Mike finally admit their love for each other, and kiss. And what if that is actually what's able to drive the 'demon' away - gay love.
Especially during the Satanic Panic arc we are sure to see come full circle with the reckoning of the Hellfire Club in Season 5.
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An arc which Mike is surely at the centre of as well, being not only a Hellfire Member in the past, but being family to the new disappeared child in town.
And it's not like Mike's love is what's been shown to us time and time again as the way to break Will out of his mindflayer trance. Oh, wait.
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Consider it incredibly fanfic-y, but it's on the table now. An action scene at the church involving Byler where Noah is wearing contacts - Will becoming possessed just like Henry again and being made to fight Mike as not only part of the plan to get all of the Wheelers, but also as something that would break Will's spirit permanently. They're all alone with nobody to help save Mike. But the plan is thwarted through the power of love, and in a place that represents a lot of shame for gay men (especially in the 80s) - they finally come together. And it is love that frees Will from his trance. Whether through a confession or true love's kiss. It would be so dramatic and atmospheric.
Additional evidence:
Jopper's Season 4 reunion and kiss inside the Russian church, of which this would be a parallel.
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The whole idea of "we kissed, as though nothing could fall. And the shame was on the other side" from David Bowie's Heroes - the shame being in the actual church from the rightside up, but they're alone together on the other side / in the Upside Down.
It is also very likely that this scene is from Episode 5 or 6. I've asked and nobody seems to know which episode it is from, but following the logic of Episode 4 being when the characters enter in groups into the Upside Down, and here Byler are all alone, it is definitely after some time has passed and groups have split further. They're definitely not having any kind of confession in the first half of the season, so this timing sounds positive.
Multiple rehearsals. Noah contacting his acting coach recently for advice. Them even having to cancel an entire shoot because of a sty indicates close-up shots for sure.
Anyway. I'd really love to see people's thoughts on this. I feel like there's even more I could get into in follow-up posts, especially if other people chime in with their thoughts. I have been buzzing about this scene for weeks now. I want to start another gate for old time's sake, so please use #churchgate if you want to make your own posts about this!
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szasfuckingwife · 5 months ago
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Yakuza!Gojo who’s the future head of the family. Everything, money, information, deaths, goes through him. The sight of him alone sends shivers down many people.
Yakuza!Gojo who often visits the strip club with other members of the family. It was more leisure time for them, seeing some pretty girls and having that buzz from drinks? No one would deny that. That’s where he met you.
Seeing your body up on that pole made Satoru almost starstruck. The beauty of your curves and the way the lingerie was pressed against your tits and ass made him want to make a mess in his pants right there. Everything was moving slowly, especially when you walked up to him.
Yakuza!Gojo who knew he had to fuck you. If not him, who else? And so, he interrupted your scheduled private dances and landed a fat stack of cash in your hands, money that you could not refuse. You’ll never forget his face when he said that he’ll compensate for the interruption.
You wish you were dreaming, you honestly wish you were. But that’d mean the feeling he’s giving to you isn’t real. The way he’s relentlessly fucking you wouldn’t be real. He snaps his hips, colliding with the plush of your ass. Nothing in the room could be heard but your moans, the skin slapping and his filthy words.
“You fuckin’ like that, yeah?”
“Fuckin slut for my cock, aren’t you?”
“Good fuckin’ girl, throw it back…”
Yakuza!Gojo who made you his fuck buddy after multiple rounds that night. He refused to leave his bed until he had enough of you. But it was never enough. He loved fucking you.
But then, after three months, you wake up to him just staring at you. You don’t say anything, and neither does he. But a mutual understanding that ‘this was never supposed to go this far’ was shared.
Yakuza!Gojo who ghosts you the next day. Deletes your number, blocks you, doesn’t show up to the club anymore. You can’t even cry because that was never your man, he was never yours.
That’s how you found out he was already betrothed to someone and announced his engagement. An uncommon feeling of heartbreak loomed over you. Now, imagine heartbreak accompanied with the feeling of shock that there are two lines on the stick that sits on your bathroom counter.
You knew it was his. There was no debate about it. Two options circulated in your mind. Option A: Don’t tell him, figure out what to do with the baby on your own. Or, Option B, tell him immediately and maybe break his engagement up.
You chose the latter.
Yakuza!Gojo never liked his fiancé anyway. He didn’t personally choose her to marry, his father did. So, when you turn up at his doorstep to tell him the news, he cries. He cries right in front of you and hugs you tightly.
“I love you. Only you, Y/N….I’ll do my best with this baby.”
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reasonsforhope · 1 year ago
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Story from the Washington Post here, non-paywall version here.
Washington Post stop blocking linksharing and shit challenge.
"The young woman was catatonic, stuck at the nurses’ station — unmoving, unblinking and unknowing of where or who she was.
Her name was April Burrell.
Before she became a patient, April had been an outgoing, straight-A student majoring in accounting at the University of Maryland Eastern Shore. But after a traumatic event when she was 21, April suddenly developed psychosis and became lost in a constant state of visual and auditory hallucinations. The former high school valedictorian could no longer communicate, bathe or take care of herself.
April was diagnosed with a severe form of schizophrenia, an often devastating mental illness that affects approximately 1 percent of the global population and can drastically impair how patients behave and perceive reality.
“She was the first person I ever saw as a patient,” said Sander Markx, director of precision psychiatry at Columbia University, who was still a medical student in 2000 when he first encountered April. “She is, to this day, the sickest patient I’ve ever seen.” ...
It would be nearly two decades before their paths crossed again. But in 2018, another chance encounter led to several medical discoveries...
Markx and his colleagues discovered that although April’s illness was clinically indistinguishable from schizophrenia, she also had lupus, an underlying and treatable autoimmune condition that was attacking her brain.
After months of targeted treatments [for lupus] — and more than two decades trapped in her mind — April woke up.
The awakening of April — and the successful treatment of other people with similar conditions — now stand to transform care for some of psychiatry’s sickest patients, many of whom are languishing in mental institutions.
Researchers working with the New York state mental health-care system have identified about 200 patients with autoimmune diseases, some institutionalized for years, who may be helped by the discovery.
And scientists around the world, including Germany and Britain, are conducting similar research, finding that underlying autoimmune and inflammatory processes may be more common in patients with a variety of psychiatric syndromes than previously believed.
Although the current research probably will help only a small subset of patients, the impact of the work is already beginning to reshape the practice of psychiatry and the way many cases of mental illness are diagnosed and treated.
“These are the forgotten souls,” said Markx. “We’re not just improving the lives of these people, but we’re bringing them back from a place that I didn’t think they could come back from.” ...
Waking up after two decades
The medical team set to work counteracting April’s rampaging immune system and started April on an intensive immunotherapy treatment for neuropsychiatric lupus...
The regimen is grueling, requiring a month-long break between each of the six rounds to allow the immune system to recover. But April started showing signs of improvement almost immediately...
A joyful reunion
“I’ve always wanted my sister to get back to who she was,” Guy Burrell said.
In 2020, April was deemed mentally competent to discharge herself from the psychiatric hospital where she had lived for nearly two decades, and she moved to a rehabilitation center...
Because of visiting restrictions related to covid, the family’s face-to-face reunion with April was delayed until last year. April’s brother, sister-in-law and their kids were finally able to visit her at a rehabilitation center, and the occasion was tearful and joyous.
“When she came in there, you would’ve thought she was a brand-new person,” Guy Burrell said. “She knew all of us, remembered different stuff from back when she was a child.” ...
The family felt as if they’d witnessed a miracle.
“She was hugging me, she was holding my hand,” Guy Burrell said. “You might as well have thrown a parade because we were so happy, because we hadn’t seen her like that in, like, forever.”
“It was like she came home,” Markx said. “We never thought that was possible.”
...After April’s unexpected recovery, the medical team put out an alert to the hospital system to identify any patients with antibody markers for autoimmune disease. A few months later, Anca Askanase, a rheumatologist and director of the Columbia Lupus Center,who had been on April’s treatment team, approached Markx. “I think we found our girl,” she said.
Bringing back Devine
When Devine Cruz was 9, she began to hear voices. At first, the voices fought with one another. But as she grew older, the voices would talk about her, [and over the years, things got worse].
For more than a decade, the young woman moved in and out of hospitals for treatment. Her symptoms included visual and auditory hallucinations, as well as delusions that prevented her from living a normal life.
Devine was eventually diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, which can result in symptoms of both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. She also was diagnosed with intellectual disability.
She was on a laundry list of drugs — two antipsychotic medications, lithium, clonazepam, Ativan and benztropine — that came with a litany of side effects but didn’t resolve all her symptoms...
She also had lupus, which she had been diagnosed with when she was about 14, although doctors had never made a connection between the disease and her mental health...
Last August, the medical team prescribed monthly immunosuppressive infusions of corticosteroids and chemotherapy drugs, a regime similar to what April had been given a few years prior. By October, there were already dramatic signs of improvement.
“She was like ‘Yeah, I gotta go,’” Markx said. “‘Like, I’ve been missing out.’”
After several treatments, Devine began developing awareness that the voices in her head were different from real voices, a sign that she was reconnecting with reality. She finished her sixth and final round of infusions in January.
In March, she was well enough to meet with a reporter. “I feel like I’m already better,” Devine said during a conversation in Markx’s office at the New York State Psychiatric Institute, where she was treated. “I feel myself being a person that I was supposed to be my whole entire life.” ...
Her recovery is remarkable for several reasons, her doctors said. The voices and visions have stopped. And she no longer meets the diagnostic criteria for either schizoaffective disorder or intellectual disability, Markx said...
Today, Devine lives with her mother and is leading a more active and engaged life. She helps her mother cook, goes to the grocery store and navigates public transportation to keep her appointments. She is even babysitting her siblings’ young children — listening to music, taking them to the park or watching “Frozen 2” — responsibilities her family never would have entrusted her with before her recovery.
Expanding the search for more patients
While it is likely that only a subset of people diagnosed with schizophrenia and psychotic disorders have an underlying autoimmune condition, Markx and other doctors believe there are probably many more patients whose psychiatric conditions are caused or exacerbated by autoimmune issues...
The cases of April and Devine also helped inspire the development of the SNF Center for Precision Psychiatry and Mental Health at Columbia, which was named for the Stavros Niarchos Foundation, which awarded it a $75 million grant in April. The goal of the center is to develop new treatments based on specific genetic and autoimmune causes of psychiatric illness, said Joseph Gogos, co-director of the SNF Center.
Markx said he has begun care and treatment on about 40 patients since the SNF Center opened. The SNF Center is working with the New York State Office of Mental Health, which oversees one of the largest public mental health systems in America, to conduct whole genome sequencing and autoimmunity screening on inpatients at long-term facilities.
For “the most disabled, the sickest of the sick, even if we can help just a small fraction of them, by doing these detailed analyses, that’s worth something,” said Thomas Smith, chief medical officer for the New York State Office of Mental Health. “You’re helping save someone’s life, get them out of the hospital, have them live in the community, go home.”
Discussions are underway to extend the search to the 20,000 outpatients in the New York state system as well. Serious psychiatric disorders, like schizophrenia, are more likely to be undertreated in underprivileged groups. And autoimmune disorders like lupus disproportionately affect women and people of color with more severity.
Changing psychiatric care
How many people ultimately will be helped by the research remains a subject of debate in the scientific community. But the research has spurred excitement about the potential to better understand what is going on in the brain during serious mental illness...
Emerging research has implicated inflammation and immunological dysfunction as potential players in a variety of neuropsychiatric conditions, including schizophrenia, depression and autism.
“It opens new treatment possibilities to patients that used to be treated very differently,” said Ludger Tebartz van Elst, a professor of psychiatry and psychotherapy at University Medical Clinic Freiburg in Germany.
In one study, published last year in Molecular Psychiatry, Tebartz van Elst and his colleagues identified 91 psychiatric patients with suspected autoimmune diseases, and reported that immunotherapies benefited the majority of them.
Belinda Lennox, head of the psychiatry department at the University of Oxford, is enrolling patients in clinical trials to test the effectiveness of immunotherapy for autoimmune psychosis patients.
As a result of the research, screenings for immunological markers in psychotic patients are already routine in Germany, where psychiatrists regularly collect samples from cerebrospinal fluid.
Markx is also doing similar screening with his patients. He believes highly sensitive and inexpensive blood tests to detect different antibodies should become part of the standard screening protocol for psychosis.
Also on the horizon: more targeted immunotherapy rather than current “sledgehammer approaches” that suppress the immune system on a broad level, said George Yancopoulos, the co-founder and president of the pharmaceutical company Regeneron.
“I think we’re at the dawn of a new era. This is just the beginning,” said Yancopoulos."
-via The Washington Post, June 1, 2023
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