#and i hope that the next chapter wont kill me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bestofmultiverse · 4 months ago

Text

I see heaven (crush me)

Chapter 1: I'm a masochist , rip out my guts. (Crush - Fletcher)

Words : 6k +

read on ao3

My calex account- @calex-in-subtext

Casey was stressed, to say a least, it wasn't even the end of the first week of her Harvard college career and she was already STRESSED

In between softball (thank's god for the existence of scholarships), her tons of homework (literally, it's been a week??) and her ability to get lost everywhere because her sense of direction is crap.

She was stressed.

The redhead ran, not walked, RAN to her next class, Criminal Law and Procedure, in the speed of light, already 10 minutes late into her first class in this course and she was dreading it.

Professor cabot wasn't known for being forgiving, probably the reason she was called 'the ice queen' behind her back

Casey walked into the room, finally, hoping to not get too much attention by either her professor or peers, but just for her luck, she got into the room just in the middle of the blonde's interdiction, and got herself a good understanding why everyone else were terrified by the woman.

The woman was gorgeous, like in a sculpture kind of way, high cheekbones, blue eyes and blonde hair in a neat updo.

Casey was terrified.

The blonde's head shot to the door the moment she heard it opening.

If looks could kill cassandra novak would've been dead, she was absolutely certain.

"Give me one reason why should i let you into my class"

The professor said. Not a hint of warmth in her tone.

Shit.

"Im sorry, i got lost on the way here" casey explained, eyes wide open.

She was grateful her voice didn't crack.

"It wont happen again"

Professed cabot looked at casey momentarily, seems to try and decide how to proceed before she looked at the other students.

"As i was saying, before you interrupted, there's a few things i will not tolerate, and lateness is definitely standing somewhere in the top of the list.

Can you guess why's that? If you'll answer correctly i might let you into the class"

The Professor said.

Casey looked at her classmates desperately.

"Because it's disrespectful?"

She asked

The blonde stared at her for a second longer before she she fixed her glasses on her nose and looked at another student, a short haired brunette on the first row.

"Miss benson"

The pretty looking brunette looked at Casey with a small knowing smirk.

Oh no,

Casey thought.

"Because, as lawyers, time's meaning is crucial especially in court."

Professor Cabot nodded at the brunette before looking back at casey. Who was busy glaring at her peer.

"And rightfully so. 10 minutes late might be the line between a criminal's conviction to freedom."

Casey gulped.

"What's your name?"

"Casey- Cassandra novak" casey said

The professor nodded curtly

"Miss novak. You should take this little chat into consideration, i will see you next class, hopefully on time"

Casey's eyebrows farrowed in frustration, she huffed before nodding at her professor and leaving the class, half embarrassed, half annoyed and mostly frustrated.

What the hell is wrong with this woman.

How is she supposed to get the homework she will surly miss. She knows absolutely no one in this class.

After taking a stroll around the campus for 30 more minutes she decided to go back to class, her classmates will be finishing their class and she might get to talk to one of them and catch up with the class.

Professor cabot didn't deem like the kind of woman to forgive missing out on school work and god bless Casey's soul she both wanted to get good grades, and desperately needed to pass this class if she wanted to be an attorney.

Unfortunately for casey, most her peers had already left the class and the others wouldn't bother to even look in her direction.

Assholes.

So she put on her big girls pants and walked back into the classroom she noticed that the professor was occupied in a conversation with a few students, one of them was the brunette from earlier, something benson, so she waited on the side. Not interrupting their ass kissing session.

When the three students left the room, they passed by casey, the brunette scanning her over with a judgmental smile

That damn bitch, casey thought

"Miss novak"

Casey looked away from the smirking brunette to meet blue eyes.

The blonde's stare was intimidating and casey felt herself shrinking, trying to keep herself upright under her gaze.

"Yes, i don't want to bother you on your break i just wanted to see what i missed in class"

The professor nodded at her before taking a piece of sheet from a drawer and handing it over to her.

"Not much material, just the syllabus and the class expectations, luckily for you, you didn't miss much.

I believe you learned from your mistake?"

The blonde gaze pierced casey, and as intimidating it was, she somehow managed to fond the woman a bit impressing.

A real fucking lawyer.

"It won't happen again" casey said with confidence.

Trying to make it look as if she wasn't just silently praying that this whole ordeal will end.

Casey was genuinely a pretty punctual person, and a damn good student, and she needed this cold, hard demeanor professor to know that as well.

"Good" the blonde nodded at her as she fixed her black rimed glasses.

"Anything else?" She asked with a ghost of a knowing smile.

Or casey imagined.

"Nothing more, thank you" casey said politely and left the room.

It wasn't long since that first class before casey decided that she didn't actually hated Professor Cabot.

She wasn't the biggest fan of the woman, mostly because she didn't show many emotions- and it was weird, but was still desperately trying to stay on her better side, especially now that casey understood why benson and her friends tried to kiss the woman's ass.

After half an hour of internet stoking, she found out the professor wasn't just incredibly good at her teaching job, but she was also a damn good lawyer and apparently worked at some point alongside the police department to put the most horrible murderers and rapist behind bars with conviction rate of 97% .

Which was insane, that woman never lose.

Casey decided she wanted to be the top of her class, both because she needed to, and also she would've loved to see the look on benson's face when she will.

And maybe because she wanted the older woman's approval.

Unfortunately for casey, who grew up in a middle class family with 3 more siblings, she needed to work, hard in every aspect of life.

There was the fact she had other classes to drown at (and work hard to keep herself at the top), she had softball practices that kicked her ass multiple times a week- and thankfully so because that was the reason she even got a scholarship in the first place.

And on top of this she also had a few shifts a week, making coffee and get embarrassed by doing so to her classmates, that probably never worked for a living a day in their lives, and even a few professors.

Never professor cabot. Tho.

She was exhausted and it's been 3 months into the school year.

On the brighter side of things, casey's roommate george was a sweetheart.

They rented a small (so small) apartment near campus, and it was by far the favorite experience she had in college aside from softball.

After the two officially finished their last test for the quarter , they desperately wanted to do something fun

Plus, her softball teammates kept nagging her about not going to their parties.

And that's how casey found herself spending her Thursday evening getting drunk in some party of someone she knew absolutely nothing about,

although she had classes the next day, they weren't morning classes and she was absolutely optimistic she will manage to get there.

Unfortunately for casey, she forgot how easy it was for her to get drunk, and she got hammered. Hard. And it happened way too earlier than excruciating so it wasn't even 12 am and she was already hammered outside the party, smoking a cigarette and wondering how the fuck she was getting back home.

George, god bless his soul, was having the time of his life, flirting his way into some closeted fratboy pants and her softball friends were chugging on beers and making out with strangers (and each other) without a care in the world.

10 minutes later casey decided she wasn't feeling it anymore, and decided to start the 15 minute walk back to her place so she could , hopefully, sleep the alcohol off.

And so it happens that in the same neighborhood her friends were celebrating their youth, a few blocks away, a certain blonde professor was getting out of a fancy jeep, and being kissed by another.

Casey was trying not to stare, fucking really, but you have to understand,

Casey was very drunk

Like, VERY

And even if professor cabot could've been terrifying, she was a beautiful woman, especially now, in a tight blue dress, hair falling on her shoulders and long, long legs in sight, and especially kissing a woman.

Unfortunately for casey, as much as she would want to say how charming she is, dashing and even mysterious, she was pissed out her mind.

Therefore, right when the stranger was going to deepen the kiss, casey found herself falling down, hands down, and basically smeared on the floor.

A groggy "aw" leaving her mouth,

Alex broken the kiss in a second and looked away from her date, to find not far away from her, a familiar face, pushing herself back up, as if she didn't just fell down and not just scratched both her hands and knees but also hit her face.

Now, as comically it might sound (and it does) that shit hurt like a bitch, and casey was mortified when she looked at her bloody hands.

Her nose was bleeding.

"Miss novak, is that you?"

Casey froze

Oh fuck.

The brunette looked at her date confused

"You know her?"

"A student of mine, i had a lovely evening. will you excuse me?" She hurriedly said to her date, before the other woman could even respond the blonde was already marching towards the drunk woman.

"Are you alright?" The blonde asked softly, worried.

Casey didn't know what she was expecting, definitely not the softness of alex cabot's hands on her cheek, observing her face worriedly.

"Peachy"

It was definitely not.

"I think you broke your nose" alex said

"No shit" casey muttered

"What did you say?"

Alex wasn't even mad, she could see the woman wasn't just drunk but also in absolute shock so she let it slide.

Casey was a good girl after all.

And also, alex figured it was the shock from the fall,

Casey wouldn't admit for the world but the biggest shock was still the sight of her professor in this damn dress.

"Nothing,

i should go"

The redhead said hurriedly before trying to escape the scene.

"You need to see a doctor" alex said and casey eyes widened

"No no I'm fine its just a scratch"

"Cassandra your nose is broken"

Casey heart flutter

Cassandra was indeed her name, as her ID could prove, but she was never called cassandra by anyone who wasn't her mother when she got angry.

Alex saying her name unlocked a weird flutter in her stomach.

"Come, ill give you a ride, i don't trust that you'll be smart enough to get there on your own"

"Im smart, i have the best grades in your class" casey argued cockily and alex rolled her eyes half heartedly

"Lets go novak, we don't have the whole night"

The ER wasn't very full, luckily for the pair- that genuinely looked out if place, alex with a beautiful evening dress and casey with a small party top- so the all ordeal hadn't taken long.

The redhead sobered up, alex made her drink as much water she could physically absorb, the redhead took each one of the cups with bravery even when she felt she might vomit. (She was also terrified of eye contact with the older woman)

"Cassandra novak"

The nurse called and casey got up.

She hated doctors and the thought of going in alone terrified her - she was obviously not going yo asked her professor to come in with her- and alex picked on that up pretty quickly so she got up as well.

Giving the younger woman an encouraging smile.

"As fast as we'll go in, the fest you'll be out of there"

Alex said confidently before walking towards the doctor's office.

Alex was right.

of course.

At the end of it, hours afterwards casey found herself asleep in alex's passenger sit, bandaged on her nose and hands - who apparently suffered a lot as well, and a few marvel band aids scattered on her knees.

She was a sight. Alex decided.

If you'd ask the older woman, she wouldn't admit it, but that evening was probably the first time she got to look at the other woman properly, and even with a fucked up bloody nose and scratched, she had to admit that cassandra novak was indeed a pretty woman.

She also got to see the younger woman in a different light,

They were obviously still very much in the professor student territory, but alex couldn't be apathetic to the younger woman distress and it showed.

She even held casey's hand for a few seconds as the doctor treated her nose.

Casey looked like she might faint by the gesture.

Alex never wanted to see casey in this state again.

She never wanted people to suffer, not including actual bad people, but this time it felt different.

Alex told herself that it's because cassandra novak was her favorite student, not that she'll ever admit that to anyone, and not because she looked vulnerable and she wanted to keep her safe from harm.

Casey was still passed out, and alex was overthinking as usual - And then they arrived to casey's apartment.

Alex tried not to wrinkle her nose when she looked around, she knew she had expensive taste, she could afford it even if she wasn't working, with her family's fortune, but she still found the area a bit alarming and she wasn't thrilled being there - or dropping casey's there.

(The neighborhood was okay, decent looking, alex was just being a spoiled brat.)

Thankfully for alex, casey woke up when the car stopped, because god save the older's woman anxiety, she had no idea how to wake casey up without making this a lot more awkward for both.

She already felt like she crossed a line when she held her hand in the ER.

"Thank you, honestly, it's embarrassing you had to see me going through that. Let along had to go through it with me, im sorry for ruining your.. um evening.. , and um, thanks again"

Casey was biting her lip awkwardly, cheeks red.

She looked cute.

Alex noticed casey's tone change slightly as she said evening, she was going to say something else, for certain.

Date.

Alex should text her date, apologize for hurrying off.

She would've probably be in a very different situation with a very different woman if casey wasn't there.

Sadly she couldn't get herself to be bothered by that as much as she probably should be.

"Im glad i was there, nothing to apologize for cassandra, i promise." The blonde said. She let herself smile at casey, not for the first time tonight, she found it a bit hard to hide and it was only the two of them, so they'll be alright.

Casey smiled brightly- then winced because her nose was kicking her ass, before she got out of the car.

"Good night, see you tomorrow"

"Don't come to class tomorrow, im giving you a pass, cassandra. Ill email you the homework, just use this long weekend to rest and take your antibiotics, good night"

Alex said before driving away.l

Casey smiled softly to herself.

Casey did went to class the day afterwards, and obviously a few classmates just had to share a joke or two (olivia fucking benson) but overall she managed.

It was all worth it when she saw alex looking at her, half surprised- half impressed, from behind her black glasses.

A while had passed since that evening and apart from people genuinely laughing at casey's clumsiness nothing interesting happened afterwards .

Of course, no one knew the length of the situation, they all just knew she was clumsy and fell and went to the ER afterwards and that was it.

But casey couldn't forget that, as drunk as she was,

Alex was clearly a good person, and casey was genuinely surprised by the reaction she received by the professor- who could still terrify a whole class with one gaze- and in a way it made her feel better, knowing she got to see that different side of alex.

She didn't felt much different in class after that.

The professor acted as professional as always, but still casey noticed she started to look at the older woman differently.

And she felt the same from the older woman as well.

She found alex impressing since pretty early in her academic career, but now she found herself drawn to the older woman on a different level.

She wanted to get closer to her, literally, to sit first row in class, to have a conversation with her outside of class, even if its just 5 minutes and about homework, and to actually get to know her.

She even started coming to class a few minutes early just to catch alex's raised eyebrow and a small smile.

She was the only one to get these reactions, and it made her happy.

Sometimes they even engage in a random small talk.

( "How was your weekend?"

"Pretty decent, yours?

Its seems you had an interesting one"

Casey had a few scratches on her face

"Fell from a tree"casey explains as if it made sense

"Okay then" alex would've chucked.

Other times;

"Do you like books?"

"About law?.."

"No, books in general"

"I do, read a lot of fantasy, have a soft sport for harry potter"

"Make sense"

casey still have no idea if it was a good reaction

Their most remarkable before class conversation was they day casey walked in angry, 15 minutes before anyone arrived.

She was pissed and genuinely exhausted and sat quietly in her sit, alex who got used to seeing casey's cheery- almost bubbly smile- was taken back by that.

"What happened?" The blonde asked, she barely even looked at casey, her nose stuck in files.

"Everything fine"

"You're a horrible liar, cassandra"

Fuck off

"I don't feel like talking about it"

"I wont pressure you into talking, but i think you should"

Casey's eyes filled up with tears and she bit her lip to hold herself from breaking down.

"Just a huge blowout with my father, that catholic asshole"

Alex got up from her sit, files forgotten, and set next to casey, tissues in hand.

She was absolutely certain she knew the nature of the other woman's outburst

Alex didn't press, just put her hand on casey's shoulder, squeezing it softly a few times for comfort.

Casey looked at alex, green eyes bloody and dull, alex hated that.

"He disowned me, basically, he found out i liked a woman and it didn't go well" she chuckled darkly.

"He didn't even let me know that, he just stone cold shut me out, my mom haven't contacted me as well, i learned about that from my sister"

"Im so sorry casey, you don't deserve this."

Alex called casey by her name and casey was so occupied with her frustration that she couldn't even be bothered about it.

No one deserves to be treated this way, regardless of their sexual preference or orientation, and alex felt so mad about that.

Alex was lucky, She knew, her parents were accepting when she came out to them.

Partly because they didn't have much choice, She was an only daughter- their legacy, And generally their biggest achievement (her mom's words, not hers)

Casey sniffled and used alex's tissue to get rid of the tears that managed to escape.

"I have nobody"

Im here. Aren't i?

"That's not true, you are loved Cassandra, by people that deserve having you in their lives"

Casey smiled at her softly

"I have a candy somewhere, i think sugar will do some good" alex said and got up.

Casey missed her comforting touch the moment the blonde broke it.

Maybe alex felt it too, because when she returned with a pack of gam she set next to casey again. And onto her hand in a comforting manner.

They stayed like these, talking quietly, until they heard the door open and burst their bubble)

At some point casey found herself genuinely attracted to the woman.

Both on an intellectual level and physically.

It wasn't even surprising to her, the blonde woman was always beautiful in her book, but after seeing the woman in a different light ( and also that fucking dress ) she couldn't shake the thought of the older woman in a different scenarios.

Some more appropriate than others.

A few more months had passed and Casey found herself at the last exams of the year, And also days before the last softball game of the season.

Casey was nervous, she was still the newest blood on the team, and she felt she had a lot to prove, especially to the seniors- who deserved to finished their college career as champions, so she found hers working herself off on both fields and on too of that a worked weekends.

unfortunately for casey she was only human and started to feel the impact of the unhealthy lifestyle she practiced.

Alex noticed all of that.

When casey walked into her morning class she looked like she might fall asleep at any single moment,

Surprisingly, casey managed to stay awake through the entire class - which was two hours long.

Every few minutes alex's eyes will subtly search for casey just to find her sitting upright, taking motes, dark circles under her eyes and pale looking.

When the class finished alex decided to take an approach.

She couldn't help it, really.

She was genuinely worried.

"Miss novak, a moment" alex said as everyone started to put their stuff away,

Casey was absolutely sure she hadn't spaced out during the lecture or forgot to submit some paper, yet she got a bit nervous.

Casey hated the fact the only time she got to see alex's different side was either in glimpses before class or in the fucking ER, she desperately wanted to actually spend time with the older woman and to have a real meaningful conversation with her

"Professor"

Casey said as she walked to the older woman.

The class was empty at this point.

Alex was wearing her hair down, like she did the night they went to the ER and it made casey smile softly, she looked flawless, really.

"How are you handling the stress?"

Alex asked kindly.

Casey didn't see that question coming

"Pardon?"

It was out before Casey's brain managed to comprehend what she was saying

Alex actually chuckled at that.

Not something drastic, but a chuckle nonetheless.

Casey chest felt warm.

"You're doing alright, with your exams? I've heard softball taking a lot of your energy as well"

Alex put her hand on casey's arm, casey decided this is her favorite thing alex did so far.

Especially because the older woman was known in being distant and cold towards most, yet her touch was soft and warm and made casey feel good.

"Yes, but i promise there's nothing to worry about, professor, I'm handling it"

Casey promised

She worked too hard to be where she was at and didn't want her favorite professor (and crush) to think she didn't care enough or put enough effort in her school work.

"I'm absolutely certain you do. I meant in general, I'm well aware there's a lot of stress on you"

Casey stared at alex surprised by her forwardness.

"You look exhausted, Cassandra, I'm a bit worried"

Casey smiled softly at Alex, and got a soft smile in return. Both women felt warm inside.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm a bit behind on sleeping, but at least it's not in the material" she chuckled at her own horrible joke.

Alex squeezed casey's shoulder in encouragement

"You need to rest, its not healthy"

alex always knew this time of the year was stressful, And she saw how it affected students, hell, she was a professor for a while but she was a student as well once upon a time.

Even if she barely showed it, she cared for her students, and just maybe (Definitely), she cared for cassandra novak a little bit (a lot) more.

"I will sleep more, after the game this Friday." Casey promised with a smile.

"And eat"

Alex was absolutely certain the younger woman skipped a few meals, not purposely, but still.

Casey smiled widened, dimples and all.

"You really care" casey realized and alex blushed slightly . Cursing herself for it.

"I care for my students" alex explained and casey looked at her unconvinced

"Oh yes, you're known for this" casey joked

Alex raised her eyebrows knowingly, a mischievous smirk playing on painted lips.

"You should come to the game, i think you might enjoy it"

Alex was absolutely certain she would not- as a person who couldn't care less for sports.

"So i could take you the ER again if something go wrong?"

Only if you'd wear that dress again.

"Im good at softball"

"I once believed you'd be good in walking around the street as well, but look where we are"

Casey wholeheartedly laughed at that,

Their interaction was so easy, sometimes, and casey loved every bit of it.

It felt natural.

"Does that mean you'll be there?"

Alex smiled at Casey's hopeful tone.

"We'll see, miss novak, now go eat something and take a nap"

Alex did went to casey's game.

The woman never showed interest in sports in her life and even a few of the other professors who went were surprised to see her there.

When casey saw her from the field she smiled, dimples and all, and alex's heart clutched uncontrollably.

To say Casey looked good in uniform will be the biggest understatement of the century, in alex's book.

Casey was obviously very fit, she could see that even when the younger woman wore jeans or sweatpants and especially with the outfits she wore when they went to the ER - which alex had to stop herself from checking out multiple times,

But this time it was different,

casey was in her element, toned arms flexing every time they gripped on the bet, ginger hair pulled into a long braid and the pants (god bless the person who made softball uniform pants THAT TIGHT) hugging her ass perfectly.

alex believed she might get a aneurysm just from trying to act unfazed by the whole ordeal, luckily for her her train of thoughts got cut off by a family voice.

"Professor cabot"

Alex looked away from away from casey's ass to the general direction she heard the voice coming from.

"Miss benson, how are you?"

In class professor cabot was known as the cold hearted , scary professor, aka the ice queen, but outside she was still very much human, and at the end of the day, it wasn't something she tried to hide, she saw no reason in hiding the fact she was indeed not always a bitch.

But honestly, she liked that her students were a bit scared of her, it kept them motivated.

"Im okay, how about you?

I have to admit professor, i wouldn't have tagged you as a softball fan"

Alex noticed that when she spoke with casey it was easy, even if it wasn't related to class itself, it cane naturally, unfortunately for alex- olivia wasn't casey.

Professor cabot was known to be cold, alexandra cabot was known for being classy, alex was just a very awkward human being.

"I normally don't go but its the end of the season, thought it'll be nice" she answered politely.

The two woman who now stood side by side hadn't noticed casey watching them from the field, cheeks red and hands tightly gripping the bet.

The red head had no idea what they were talking about, and was obviously trying to keep her emotions at bay.

the logical part of her brain understood that alex had more students, but the other one just felt jealous.

Especially because alex and her weren't anything other than student and her professor.

Not really.

The game was over pretty quickly, to alex's surprise

The conversation with Olivia hadn't been long, and even while she politely spoke to the brunette she was still more interested in casey's game.

(And ass)

When they won, and they did, casey was delighted

Her cheeks red and green eyes sparkling with excitement , Her dimples (god, alex had a soft spot for those) showing in full force.

The team was ecstatic, all hugging and shouting and some even kissed, thankfully for alex, casey wasn't one of them, she wouldn't be able to watch her kiss someone.

More than 45 minutes after the game ended most people already left, not alex.

The blonde was standing in the middle of the field, her hands clutching on a varsity jacket with "novak" written on its back.

when casey was leaving the locker room (and searching for her jacket) she noticed the blonde and smiled widely.

Casey was dressed to impress, for sure, black skintight cocktail dress and high hills.

She was going to meet up with George and a few more friends to celebrate.

When the blonde noticed her as well she sent the older woman a wave and walked over to her.

"You're still here"

She tried to ignore the tingly feeling in her stomach when she cached alex's gaze on her.

"I guessed congratulations were in order, and also, you forgot this jacket in class today"

The two smiled at each other, both a bit unsure how to handle the conversation.

Casey took the jacket away from alex's grasp.

Their hands touching briefly.

"I'm happy to see you in one piece, cassandra"

Casey laughed

"Well thank you, i did tried my best"

After moment of silence casey decided to take a shot in the dark.

"I like it when you call me cassandra,

It sounds so much better than miss novak"

"I'll take that into account,

does it bothering you when i call you miss novak?"

"Well no, except every time you call me miss novak makes me feel like I'm being scolded in class"

Alex smirked at that.

Casey will never forget their first meeting, it seems.

"Alright then, cassandra.

in that case, You can call me alex, or alexandra - not in front of your classmates, of course"

Alex took herself by surprise by saying that.

Casey smiled "alex it is"

Alex's phone beeped and she rolled her eyes.

"I have to go, do you have a ride?" Alex asked- Secretly hoping to spend a few more minutes in casey's company.

"I do, my roommate is waiting for me somewhere, we're going to celebrate my victory"

Alex chuckled at that before putting her glasses back on.

"Give me your phone"

Casey gave her the phone with a puzzled expression.

Alex saved her own number in the redhead's contacts under "Alexandra" and pressed dial, to make sure she'll have casey's number as well.

"If you find yourself in a familiar situation as last time, call me, i prefer you don't walk around drunk"

Both knew it wasn't 'right' - it was dangerous territory.

If someone will know about it - even if nothing actually happens- alex integrity will be questioned and she might lose her job.

But alex trusted casey and damn her job, if something will happen to the red head when she could stop that she wont be able to live.

The fact alex knew that and still gave casey her number made casey's heart flutter.

"Thank you, Alex, goodnight" she said and alex smiled again before she turned around and left the field.

A few seconds after the professor left, casey still stood there with the biggest grin until George got to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"You're ready to go?"

Later that night casey was indeed drunk

After some girl tried to kiss her, and another one asked for her number - she politely declined both- she got to conclusion that she's not interested in neither.

George asked her about it, but he had a feeling the woman was genuinely not interested in anyone- well other than her professor- and after seeing them together (when they weren't even aware of his presence) , he couldn't blame his roommate.

At this point in the evening both roommates and their friends were very drunk.

George was having a nice, half drunk, conversation with a guy in the corner- and casey who couldn't be in the heated space anymore went out for a smoke and checked her notifications,

Alexandra: Just making sure you're okay

(When alex sent it she was actually nervous but decided she wanted to remind casey she could talk to her if needed)

Its been 5 minutes since alex sent it and casey was impressed that the older woman was still awake.

Cassandra: Im okay, how about you?

Alex chuckled at the response , she was certain casey was drunk.

Alexandra: Im good, wanted to check on you.

No broken nose or anything?

Cassandra: no trip to the ER is needed.

Alexandra: good, it means you haven't tried walking around by yourself, i presume

Cassandra: excuse you, it was your fault i broke my nose in the first place

Alexandra: meaning?

Shut up casey, the sober part of her brain would've shout if it wasn't clouded by the amount of alcohol she drank

Before she typed a response her phone rang, the blonde's name flashing on the screen

"What does it mean?"

"Nothing" casey responded

"Casey!"

That was new, no cassandra and no miss novak.

Just alex calling her name in her serious tone.

"Why are you even awake? Alex"

Casey breathed, trying to change the subject

"You're trying to deflect" alex was annoyed

"Im not" casey lied

"Im a lawyer, cassandra, don't try to bullshit me"

Casey's breath stoped momentarily when she heard alex curse.

That was a lot more hotter than she expected.

"Pick me up?" She said and gave in to her drunk impulses.

"Send me the adress" alex said before hanging up

Casey went back inside to let her friends know she was leaving with a friend, not before she promised George to let him know she was home

When she got back outside she saw a familiar car, and got in, smiling at Alex.

"Thank you"

"No problem" the older woman said.

She was wearing sweatpants and a t shirt, her hair pulled into a messy bun and had no makeup on.

She looked beautiful , casey thought.

They started the drive in a pretty comfortable silence

"What did you meant, on the phone? How was it my fault you broke your nose?"

Casey took a deep breath.

Shit.

"I meant i was surprised to see you.. like that"

Alex couldn't figure out what casey meant by that even if she tried.

"Cassandra, what?"

"i meant dressed like you were and outside of class.. I thought you looked breathtaking"

Casey whispered and alex breath hitched.

"You're drunk"

"And you're beautiful"

they stopped talking for a few seconds, both stuck in their heads, before alex stopped the car, right outside casey's apartment.

"You cant say that , cassandra, I'm your professor" alex said, before casey would've slipped away from the car.

Casey put her hand on the older woman's cheek.

"Don't you think i know that alex?"

Casey's eyes began to water, she didn't know how to handle the rejection

"I think you're beautiful too"

Alex admitted sadly, painfully even.

She couldn't handle seeing casey, who was normally so confident, reaction.

Especially because alex felt the same way.

They were screwed.

Casey looked at her with farrowed eyes,

"Please don't lie to make me feel better, its just making me feel worse"

Casey bagged

"I don't" alex admitted "you're breathtaking Cassandra, especially in that goddamn dress"

And that was it,

Casey's lips were on alex's.

And as much as alex's logical part of the brain tried to push everything she felt back, it was useless.

She was far gone.

After months of holding back, painful chemistry and effort to keep herself from catching unprofessional feelings, that was it.

The kiss was desperate,

Casey's lips tasted like cheap tequila and pizza, alex's tasted like toothpaste.

Alex's hands tangled in casey's hair, while casey pulled the older woman as close as she could.

"I wanted to do that for so long" casey murmured as they broke apart. Noses inches away from each other.

"I know. So did i" alex admitted, to both herself and casey. "But you know we cant do that, I'm your teacher" she continued and casey pulled her in again.

Alex kissed back instantly

"Im almost 25, a consenting adult, and i fucking want this. No one has to know, i know you want me too, i can feel it"

Alex took off the younger woman's sit belt , and then her own before Casey climbed over the space between them and sat on her lap.

The blonde's hand instantly moved to casey's ass while casey's found themselves wrapped around alex's neck.

Tongues battling for dominance - alex won.

"Come inside" casey said between kisses,

She felt her whole body warming up with anticipation.

"We cant Cassandra, You're drunk" alex said and pulled away painfully.

Her hands climbing up from the redhead's ass to her hair, and cheeks.

"I sobered up" casey argued and alex laughed.

"I want to believe you, but i cant. if we're doing this, we need to do this properly"

Casey groaned before burying her face in alex's neck, kissing her shoulder blade.

Alex sighed softly and casey felt herself getting worked up by the sound alone

"You sure about the waiting part?" Casey whispered as she trailed kisses on the older woman's neck.

Sucking on her pulse point.

Alex's hand pulled casey's hair, by accident, Casey's reaction to it was a small moan and alex had to stop herself from getting the younger girl right there on the steering wheel.

"You should go to bed Cassandra, sleep the alcohol off" alex said and pulled casey from her neck.

It took every ounce of self restraint from her to do so.

"I don't want this to end" casey admitted and looked into alex's blue- who looked at her warmly, a sight she will cherish for the rest of her life.

"Its not a real goodbye, its just for a few hours, i promise"

Alex said and kissed casey's cheek

"You promise?"

"I do"

#they're in love your honor #fic writing #alex cabot #casey novak #calex #casey novak x alex cabot #olivia benson #law and order svu

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stell404 · 2 years ago

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𝗜𝗜𝗜. 𝗙𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗟𝗬 𝗝𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗦

𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗘 𝗙𝗟𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗦 𝗢𝗙 𝗣𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗥𝗔'𝗦 𝗕𝗢𝗫

🎧

Family jewels masterlist | back to navigation Parings: Sully family x reader, jake sully x daughter!reader Word count: 900 Notes: Hope ya'll like this, next chapter wont be out for a while because I'm gonna be very very busy, so so sorry. And to explain the title: "Out come flying all the secrets of Pandora's box" means that their secrets are out, the people know they are not the perfect family they always show. Taglist: @lorre-verie @eywas-heir @damiiworld @arianapjs @arminsgfloll @buterccup @ifuckinghatemathrahhhhhh @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @inluvwithneteyam @il0vejj @neteyamforlife @ducks118 @ssc7514@liyahsocorro @saltedcoffeescotch @im-in-a-pansexual-panik WARNINGS: Mentions de@th, scuic!de

🎧

Weeks have passed since their escapade and things have cooled down, they are still not back to normal but hey, this is something I guess.

[Name] finally, after nights and nights of debates with the little voices in her head, went on with her plan—her plan to tell her father about her dream to do her Iknimaya.

The night was calm, leaves and the hanging vines from the hallelujah mountains swayed softly with the wind. Calm chirping noise can be heard lightly. The clan was putting things away for the night, hunters and warriors finally resting, healers making their way out of the healer's tent. It is strange for the Omaticaya to have calm nights like this, hopefully it will last long.

[Name] walked around High camp looking for her father, she noticed how things were calm hoping not to ruin it with what she's gonna do. She quickly found her father sitting down and a stump of rock, sharpening his hunting knife.

[Name] stood in front of her dad, clearing her throat to get her fathers attention.

"What do you need?" Jake asked with an un-enthusiastic tone, dropping the knife he was sharpening.

"I was just wondering, you know, I mean—I'm kinda getting old now and like, don't you think, I mean I don't know but..." she rambled, trailing off and mumbling at the end.

"[Name]," he sighed, "get to the point."

"I want to do my Iknimaya, as soon as possible." she said, hoping her father would agree.

Silence. Silence filled the space between them.

A beat passed.

And then another one.

"No." Jake said, breaking the silence.

"Why?" There it was. Always, why? why? why?

"Because," he paused. He himself does not know the answer, was it because he is worried, because he wants to shield her from everything bad? Or was it because he doesn't trust her? Why?

"Because you are not mature enough." he said, finally finding the "right" words.

"Lo'ak is younger than me and much more immature and still he got his Iknimaya first."

"Your brother is ready, he is strong."

"And I'm not? Please, I am on top of my training. I've beaten the strongest of warriors so tell me, is that not good enough?"

"See! This is the reason, you are being immature right now!" Jake shouted, anger tainted his voice, attracting the attention of the people as they heard their Olo'eyktan and his first daughter fighting.

Neytiri heard their quarrel from afar, she ran straight to them to try and stop them.

"[Name], stop it." her mother warned, holding her wrist.

"And to answer your question, no, that is not good enough." Jake added, gasps can be heard from the crowd that formed around them. [Name] felt her heart break at this.

"Nothing I do is never good enough." she mumbled.

Jake didn't know what happened but he snapped, he didn't know why but he did, "Get out, get out! I do not want to see you right now!" he shouted.

"Do you ever want to see me, dad—oh sorry, I mean—sir?" she said in a mocking tone.

"You think you're so wise, huh?" he chuckled.

"Well if you're such an amazing mighty warrior, go do it, go! Complete your Iknimaya." he shouted, voice laced with venom. "Kill yourself for all I care!"

[Name] was stunned, "Sir, please—" she spoke with a shaky voice, She was scared, scared of her father. The one who was supposed to shield her from men who treated her like this. The one who was supposed to love her more than anything.

"No, no, no. Don't 'Sir' Me. You do what you want right? You're responsible right? You're smart. You're strong, oh so STRONG!" he laughed.

"Jake! It is the middle of the night, are you crazy? She might die, she will die." her mother hissed.

"Then let her die. She believes she is so strong, she believes she can do it, she wants to do it, so why stop her?" Jake chuckled once more, this time his voice was filled with venom. She did want this, hell, she wants it more than anything, but she didn't want it to be like...this.

[Name] couldn't process what was happening, she knew her father hates her, she knew that she was one of her fathers greatest regrets, but to let her die? She felt like a thousand bullets were shot straight to her heart.

"I hate you!" she screeched. She did not mean it, of course she didn't, she loves her dad, more than she will ever love herself.

But does he love her? "Yeah? Then go! Go and never come back!" he shouted back.

"Jake!" Neytiri hissed, the grip she has on her daughter's wrist loosens. [Name] noticed this, taking advantage of it and pushing her mother aside so she could run.

"[Name]! [Name]! come back!" she heard her siblings shout out to her, voices quivering; but she did not care, she just wanted to get away.

She ran and ran, as fast as she could, with no particular location in mind. Just running through the woods, the tall grass, the bioluminescent plants of the Pandorian Forest.

She found herself laying on the soft grass. Her eyes were blurry, tears running down her face, letting out whimpers and sobs ever so slightly.

She cried and cried until there were no more tears left in her.

#jake sully x reader #jake sully x daughter!reader #sully family x reader #dad!jake sully #jake sully x daughter #neytiri x daughter!reader #neteyam x sister!reader #neteyam x reader #loak x reader #lo'ak x sister!reader #lo'ak x reader #kiri x reader #kiri x sister!reader #avatar x reader #avatar: way of water #atwow #avatar the way of water #avatar 2 #DearStell

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snowyquokka · 9 months ago

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SECRET SECRET

K. SEUNGMIN

chapter 1

cw: swearing, fem reader, academic rivals, angst if you squint, both like each other but wont admit it

wc: 1.2k

a.n - welcome to my first full fic !! im super excited to share this and im actually really proud of it. happy reading <3

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

You’re sitting at your usual spot in the library on your college campus when a book is slammed down on your table, ripping a yelp from your chest as you practically jump out of your skin. You look up to see a smug grin splayed on full, pale pink lips.

Brown eyes sparkle back at you mischievously and before he even opens his mouth, you just know he’s going to say something to purposely aggravate you.

“I don’t want to know, nor do I care.” you grumble before turning back to your book.

“Where the Crawdads Sing.” Seungmin hums, “Didn’t know you had taste,” You ignore him and turn the page.

He huffs and plops down in the seat next to you, his knee brushing against yours as he does.

You snap your head up and admit defeat, placing a bookmark where you left off.

“Since you so rudely interrupted me,”

He rolls his eyes in response to your complaint, “Here we go again,”

“Don’t give me that.” you snap, “You came over here unannounced while I was clearly doing something. So tell me, what is it that you want to brag about now? Hm? Perfect score on the English essay? No wait- I know, you’ve finally succeeded in ass kissing every professor in the building.”

The entire time you were ranting, Seungmin sat with his chin in his palm, face angled towards you. His grin never faltered, which in turn only pissed you off more.

You snap your book shut and move to stand before you feel a hand tug on your sleeve, forcing you to sit.

“I didn’t come over here to brag,” Seungmin readjusts in his chair so his knees are poking the side of your bare thigh, the sudden contact sending warmth throughout you.

“I was hoping we could- I don’t know. Maybe we could be at least civil with each other?.”

Your eyebrows shoot up and your eyes widen.

“C-Civil?” you sputter while searching his face for any trace of ulterior motives.

He nods and fidgets a little. That’s when you realize that he’s nervous.

Seungmin is anything but nervous when it comes to talking to you. He’s always confident while spewing whatever insults he can think of on the spot.

“I uhm- I think I owe you an apology.”

“Excuse me?” That’s not what you meant to say.

Though, you’re fairly certain that whatever you were going to say would’ve come out ten times worse.

“Yeah.” he winces, “Fuck- you know I’m bad at this kind of stuff,” Seungmin huffs and runs a hand through his blonde hair.

“I’m sorry for being a dick,” his broad shoulders deflate and he looks like a weight was literally lifted off of him.

“You’re sorry?”

“Will you stop repeating me?” he scowls.

You can’t help but giggle a little, he couldn’t last two minutes into an apology without looking or sounding annoyed.

“‘M sorry. I just,” you bite your lip to stifle another laugh, “I didn’t think I’d live to see the day that Kim Seungmin apologized for- well, anything.”

He grumbles something incoherently and pushes his knee farther into your thigh. You swallow hard and look behind him at the now very interesting bookshelf.

Seungmin sighs and gets up without another word and leaves. You watch as he rounds the corner and slips through the door.

“What the hell just happened,” you blink and whisper to yourself.

After his sudden apology, Seungmin has avoided you for an entire week now. He won’t even spare you a glance. You’re complaining about it to your best friend, Hyunjin, who also happens to be close with Seungmin.

Small world.

“Look, I don’t know exactly what happened but, like, could you maybe talk to him about it? He’s been killing the mood lately.” Hyunjin brings his iced americano to his lips while you form a bewildered expression.

“Me? You want me to talk to him?” you scoff and lean back in your chair, “Why should I have to? He apologized, I listened. End. Of. Story.”

“Why are you always so stubborn,” Hyunjin rolls his eyes, placing his coffee on the table.

“Ridiculous. Absolutely fucking ridiculous.” you huff and pinch the bridge of your nose. Hyunjin gives you an ‘are you serious’ look.

“If I let you put his number in my phone, will you shut up about it?” He grins and holds out his hand for you to give your phone to him. “And you’re buying me another coffee.”

[You] - cheer up

[Intellectual Demon] - who is this?

[You] - jinnie said that you’ve been a real downer since apologizing to me

[Intellectual Demon] - it’s not even that bad

[You] - i can feel the frown radiating off of you rn

[You] - it’s your aura.

Seungmin smiles to himself proudly. After all, it was his idea to get Hyunjin to give you his number.

Now all he has to do is convince you to meet with him. He’s got it all mapped out; you’ll meet with him at his place, he’ll confess, you’ll reciprocate his feelings and you live happily ever after.

The guy gets the girl, like he always does. It’s a simple, foolproof plan.

Right?

“Yeah, no thanks. I’m good.”

Wrong.

Seungmin was so wrong. Immediately after you pick up the phone he’s already hit with a groan and a ‘what do you want now?’ Nonetheless, he pushed through and asked you to go to his place. You declined, which shouldn’t have surprised him, but it does. Seungmin thought that if he apologized all would be forgiven and you would be more willing to speak to him.

Though, he can only blame himself. He fell-and crashed- first, hard. Instead of admitting his feelings to you, and himself, he tried his hardest to distance himself from you, making you find him unbearable to be around. It worked, of course.

Seungmin wishes it didn’t. He wishes he would’ve just grown a pair and told you. He wishes he didn’t feel so unlovable.

You, on the other hand, have attempted to make your attraction obvious. Someone can only take so much rejection, however. You stopped flirting, stopped even looking in his direction at one point. Seungmin made it crystal clear that he wanted nothing to do with you, and now that he’s apologized you can’t help but catch those feelings all over again.

“Please, just- what do I need to do for you to come here?” Seungmin’s voice echoes through your head, bouncing off the sides as you feel yourself slowly start to give in.

You seriously should stop being a pushover.

“Send me your address, I’ll be there soon.” There’s a pause at the end of the line when Seungmin mutes himself and screams into his pillow.

tags: @godslino @skzstarnet @anakin-sweetheart

dividers: @chaeneuu

#snowyquokka #skzstarnet #stray kids #skz #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz x reader #skz reader insert #skz reactions #kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin #seungmin fic #enimes to lovers #skz seungmin #straykids seungmin

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kissies4jiwon · 24 days ago

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02. dumpster dive — i regret everything

winter x f!reader, social media au

prev . . masterlist . . next

guys i swear its getting to the fun part 😢😢

or maybe ill add more filler of them talking heh… /JAY KAY!! i wont

dumpster dive

synopsis : after getting drunk and attending your boyfriend's party you find him hitting on one of your friends. after crying for a bit, you decide to sleep next to his trash can in the back of his house. little did you know now there are rumors of you being homeless and broke, and some people think you were thrown by your boyfriend in the dumpster. one of these people is winter, and she is determined to treat you better than that scum

taglist (OPEN) : @gtfoiydlyj @yeetaberry127 @hearts4jiheon @sixflame438 @saysirhc @222brainrot @ringelar @spidrgamer

authors note : idk how to feel abt this chapter i think i made ningning unlikeable?? idk hope yall enjoy😭😭 school is killing me rn tho UGHHH

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sarah-bear706318 · 1 month ago

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Chasing Storms and Finding Love. Chapter 9

Series Summary: When Tyler's baby sister joins him and his team for a season she seems to catch the eye of a certain StormPar member much to her brothers dismay... will she listen listen to her big brother or follow her heart?

Chapter Summary: Reader has to deal with the aftermath of her night out...One last girls night before her sister leave. Scott ask reader to move in after the storm season is over how will her bother take it? And a super storm leaves every to a small town to help but not everything goes as planned when reader gets hurt!

Pairing: Scott Miller X fem!reader, Tyler Owens x sister!reader

Series Warnings: Sneaking around, Pissed off Tyler, Love Struck Scott, ALOTS of kissing, A little age gap, Cussing, Drinking, Storms(duh), Falling in love, Slow burn

Chapter Summary: implied smut, kissing, big storm, blood, getting hurt, Tyler being over protective, Scott being the sweetest, talks of drunkeness,

@nikkicloudie @thespillingvoid @turnerintoabutler @Lindsayjoy444 @glenpowellluver @@harrysgothicbitch @ambipom9 @lxaah11

You wake up the next day with your head pounding, not really remembering anything past body shots. You roll over and notice Scott isn't in the room, just as you reach over for your phone you hear the door open and you see Scott walk through the door.

"Good morning beautiful, got you coffee even had them add 2 extra shots expresso" he says leaning down to kiss your head

You thank him in a soft voice and a smile taking a sip of the coffee he brought before asking the dreaded question...

"How bad was I last night and don't lie"

"Baby you weren't that bad you were kinda cute and funny"

"Oh thank God" you say drinking your coffee

"until you told your brother about the time we fucked in his truck" that made you spit and choke on the coffee you just drank

"I did what, oh...my...God my brother is gonna kill me" you said running your hand through your hair. "Not gonna lie he's pretty pissed I'm surprised I'm still alive" Scott added

"Anything else I should know" you ask Scott gives you a look that tells you your answer. "You got sick in his truck so did your friends"

"You might as well find a new girlfriend because my brother is about to kill me twice, once for having sex in his truck and another time for getting sick in his truck, just make sure I'm dressed nice when they put me in the ground" you said holding your head in your hands.

"I wont let him kill you sweetheart but you do need to get up your brother was asking for you when I went to get coffee So let's get you in the shower and ready so you can go face your brother"

"You mean go face my death"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You walk out of your room and look down to the parking lot and what do you see? A very pissed off brother with his arms crossed and a burning look in his eyes...oh if looks could kill! Nope you think to yourself and try to turn around and go back in your room but you are met with Scotts hard chest turning you right back around. You take the stairs very very slowly hoping the longer you take the less mad he will be. But no such luck because once you reach the bottom of the stairs you are met with an upclose pissed off brother!

"Hey T..." you don't even get his name

"I don't want to hear it" he says in a low voice which makes you a bit more scared that he's not yelling. "Come with me little sister let's have a chat"

You look back at your boyfriend silently begging for him to come with you but you and Scott both know you had to do deal with the fallout from last night on your own.

He walks you to his truck and opens the back door, "You and your little friends are paying to have my back seat detailed got it" he says crossing his arms "yes"

"And you are having my drivers seat detailed since you WANT TO FUCK YOUR BOYFRIEND IN MY TRUCK ARE YOU CRAZY WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, HE'S LUCKY I LET HIM LIVE"

The calm and soft voice was now gone and replaced with a very deep angry voice. You wince at how loud he got and held your head thinking it would help your hangover headache.

"Tyler I am s..." you begin to say something but you are cut off "I'm not done, not only did I find out you and your boyfriend fucked in MY truck you and your little friends don't know how to shut up and I now know WAY more about my little sisters sex life then I EVER WANTED TO OR NEEDED TO KNOW. Care to take a guess what I learned about you and your boyfriend huh" you stand there and shake your head no.

"Ty I'm sooooooooo sorry for your back seat and..." you stop and kinda winced looking at his drivers seat before you continue in a softer voice "your divers seat I'll cover all of it I promise, and I'm sorry for anything you heard.

"Damn right you will y/n, this is my truck, Doesn't your boyfriend have his own truck"

"Yes yours was just closer" you said and jumped a little when he raised his voice

"CLOSER YOU COULDN'T HAVE WAIT 30 SECONDS AND GONE TO YOUR ROOM AND FUCKED THERE HUH? MY TRUCK Y/N, AND WHEN WAS THIS"

"Bout 2 weeks ago" you say "2 fucking weeks I have been driving around sitting on Scotts ass cooties" that kinda made you giggle but you were quick to stop when you say your brothers face, and he continues

" you good to drive right now" your brother ask and you just nod at his question "good go get go get my truck cleaned I still have a job to do and can't do it with my truck smelling like vomit" he tosses you the keys as he walks aways.

You hold the keys in your hand as your brother walks off, and from the corner of your eye you see Scott making his way over to you. He wraps his arms around you and you lay your head on his chest and let out a breath. "That bad huh" he questions "well I have to pay to get vomit out of his back seat and your ass cotties off his drivers seat" at that Scott give you a look "his words not mine I love your ass its cute" you say with a smirk

You decide that since it was your friends, your party idea, and your brothers truck you would just take care of the detailing on your own, then you pulled out you sent Casey a text

Y/N:Hey I gotta go do a few things gonna take a few hours so yall just chill in your room maybe sleep off your hangovers lol let yall know when I'm on the way back and we'll have dinner"

You do a little research to find out where the best car detailing around is and find a place with great reviews about 30 minutes away, so off you go!

3 hours, an inside/outside detail, later your brothers truck looked brand new! You even made sure his tank was full of diesel. You pull in to the parking lot seeing everyone standing outside well everyone but your boyfriend. Once parked you made your way over to the group and handed Tyler his keys, "all clean inside and out and you got a full tank"

"you didn't have to do that but thank you" he says taking his keys from you. "no problem least I could do, anyways anyone know where my boyfriend is?

"up stairs in your room" you hear Javi say

"thank you" then you turn and look at Casey and Ashleigh "yall ok with a low key dinner maybe some takeout and movie or 2?

"That sounds good to me" "yeah me too" they both say with a smile

"ok give me about 30ish minutes"

You head upstairs and find Scott sitting at the little table on his laptop he looks up and smiles when he's you open the door. He gets up wraps his arms around you and give you a kiss "Hey baby I was wondering where you were"

"the place i found was over 30 minutes away. You wanna join me and the girls for takeout and movie night?" you ask with a smile

"as great as a night of chick flicks sounds I have a meeting with Javi and a few of the new investors for the new and improved StormPar, but here's one of my cards have your girls night be on me" he says handing you one of his credit cards. "You sure baby" you ask

"Yeah baby girls night on me" he says and kisses the top of your head "thank you baby can we get some snacks too maybe some wine" you ask with a smile

"Anything you want sweetheart"

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You and your sisters got wings and fries you got tons of snacks and watched The Notebook How to lose a guy in 10 days and Sweet home Alabama. Yall even got a few bottles of wine! And let's not forget face masks! You were gonna miss your sisters so much so you were gonna live it on your last night with them!

You spent the whole time talking laughing way to loud and drinking a little to much wine, it reminded you of of your years at ZBZ when you all shared a room in the house. "I'm gonna miss yall so much I hate you can't stay longer" you say trying to hold back your tears

"Awwwwww y/n we'll be back we promise maybe stop again on the way back, in a couple months but I think I'll have my brother with me" Casey says looking at you

"Awe I miss him he was so adorable if you do I'll have Scott or Tyler baby sit him" that made both girls laugh "you know he had the biggest crush on you his freshmen and sophomore year even wanted to ask you to the KT's formal" Casey said laughing "awwww I would have gone with him but I didn't know about the crush that explains why he got red as a tomato when he walked in on me changing"

"Oh God when was this and how much did he see" Casey asked not being to stop her laughing

"Those couple weeks I went to Chicago with yall and I was only in my shorts so he saw my boobs" you answer laughing

"No wonder he wouldn't look you in the face for months" Ashleigh added

The rest of the night went pretty much the same just laughing and talking about old times! These girls truly were your family!

It was a little after midnight when you got got back to the room. You see Scott watching tv and it brought a smile to your face. all you wanted was to lay in Scott's arms, so you kick off your shoes and do just that.

"You wanna take a shower with me" you asked after a few minutes of laying with him

"Have I ever turned down a shower with you baby?" he asked looking down at you and kissing the top of your head "come one"

The shower felt great the hot water, Scott helping you wash away the day, having his body pressed against yours. You turn around to face him and kiss his chest and start to move your hand up and down his shaft, you smile when you hear a moan come from his lips. "Don't start something you cant finish baby" you stand on your tip toes kiss his neck and whisper in his ear "I plan to finish it" you kiss his neck again "alllllll night long". That was all Scott had to hear before capturing your lips in a heated kiss, lifting you off your feet and pinning you to the wall "then let's get started baby"

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The next morning you stand in the parking lot hugging your sisters while all 3 of you cry your eyes out.

"Please be careful yall" you say wipping the tears from your eyes "we will you be careful too y/n those tornados are no joke" that brings a small laugh out of you "I will I promise, call me when you get there please" "we will promise" they both say

One last round of hugs tears and love yous later, you are watching them pull out of the parking lot.

You walk back up to your room to go meet with Scott and hope you get at least an hour before you have to head out. You walk in the door and Scott can still see your tears even tho you tried to hide them and he didn't waste a second before coming to wrap his arms around you.

"Awwww baby don't cry you'll see them again soon" Scott said wiping your eyes "I know just hard seeing them go those girls are the closest thing to sisters i will ever have but it was nice seeing them for a few days"

"It was nice hearing all those stories and seeing a different side of you made me fall in love even more" Scott says kissing your lips. You look up and smile before asking "even drunk party girl y/n" Scotts just laughs "yes baby even her, now come on we got some storms to chase"

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It's been a month since since your sisters left and you missed them but you were kept busy with the outbreak of storms. With the outbreak across 2 states you didn't stay in a hotel longer then a night or 2, there was even a few times you crashed in either Tyler's or Scotts truck when rooms were all booked.

Speaking of Scott things were getting even more serious between the 2 of you. More talks of the future, he even asked you to move in with him after the season was over, you of course said yes! You hadn't told your brother yet you wanted to avoid that fight a little longer, but you did tell Kate.

"Oh my gosh I'm so happy for you both, but have you told Tyler yet" she asked while you both walk to to trucks after checking out of yet another hotel. You sighed before answering "not yet I was trying to avoid another fight he can't stand us sharing a hotel room let alone a whole house". "You got to tell him y/n he's gonna find out either way"

You throw your bags in the back of Scotts truck when you hear your brother call your name "Hey y/n come look at this radar and tell me if I'm crazy". You walk over to your brothers truck, he moves out of the way so you can get a better look. You stand there looking at the radar almost studying it for several minutes, it was definitely something you have only studied in college something pretty rare you were sure not many chasers have seen. You call Scott and Javi so they can see it too and so you only have to explain once.

"These are 2 supercells over here" you point to the side of the screen "there are a few things that can happen, one being nothing just a storm maybe a tornado,maybe rain or even nothing . Another being a family of tornados forming in different areas from the different cells nothing to major maybe an EF1 or a weak EF2. But there is another thing that could happen and if it did it's rare but also very dangerous for anything or anyone in the path" you look around before you continue so you know everyone hears. "The cells are very close together and they can merge in one major supercell. If that happens we're taking monster thunderstorms, large hail, superwinds and monster violet EF5. It's kinda like when 2 hurricanes meet and become one big hurricane. Put it this way the tornados in Joplin in 2011 and Moore in 2013 would look like nothing in comparison" you look around at everyone before adding" but that is very very rare when we're out there we just have to keep a very close eye on the radar because if it does happen it can happen very fast"

Everyone looks at you but you can't read their faces. Your brother breaks the silence "ok you heard her let's all be careful today, Javi yall ok with teaming with us today with the possibility of a major supercell forming?"your brother looks over to Javi, Javi looks to Scott and Scott answers "Yeah Owen's that's fine might be smart to have my Dr. girlfriend on both side" he says and kisses your cheek "you mean MY Dr sister" Tyler says,now it's a stare down between your brother and boyfriend... great you think and step in the middle of them!

"OK that's enough put egos aways I'm not dealing with it today you two I mean it, I will beat both your ass, now Tyler I'll ride with you the first half of the day Scott I'll ride with you the second part of the day" you say and turn to walk away heading to the store beside the hotel and Kate joins you.

"You ok y/n" you sigh and roll your eyes "just wish they would stop with the fighting and the egos. I feels like it did when i was forced to go to our dads place sometimes and im in the middle of 2 fighting adults" you say as you reach the store. "I didn't know your parents were divorced, every time yall talk bout home you say mom and dad"

"Our real dad isnt Ty's favorite subject so i avoid it we call him by his name. Our mom got remarried and we call him dad " you said reaching for your your coffee drink and Tyler's energy drink. "I'm sorry y/n" Kate adds as you both walk down another aile. "The way he acts with Scott is why I haven't told him about us moving in together yet, I might do it today" you say grabbing Scotts gum with a shurg.

"Here is is your monster big brother" handing Tyler his drink "and your gum boyfriend" Scott thanks you and leans diwn and kisses your head, the eye roll from your brother didn't go unnoticed by you.

"OK sis let's load up and go see what this storms brings up" your brother says clapping his hands together. "I will see you later baby please be careful I love you" you say to Scott standing on your tip toes to kiss his lips. "I will. You be safe too I love you baby" he kisses you back, turns and walks to his truck with Javi. You turn to get in your brothers truck but instead you are met with a scowl from Tyler "what" you ask. "Nothing let's go" with that your brother opens the door for you and slams it shut.

A few hours later you and the only thing you had seen was a bad thunderstorm with a little hail. You all decided it was time for a break, so you would stop at the next town for a late lunch bathroom break and let everyone stretch their legs. You still haven't brought up the whole moving in with Scott thing so you decided to do it now before you lost your edge.

"So Ty I have something to tell you and you cant freak out blow up or cause a scene when we stop can i..." you couldn't even finish your sentence before Tyler is interrupting you. "Oh my God your pregnant aren't you I knew something like this would happen dont you know what a condom is?" your brother says holding the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turn white, then Boone starts from the back "dude your pregnant y/n congrats that's awesome T your gonna be an uncle"

"No no no I am not pregnant not even close and I'm on the pill just F.Y.I, now can I finish what I was saying please" you look to your brother "fine go ahead"

"Scott as asked me to move in with him after the season ends and I said yes" you look to your brother and he has an unreadable expression so you wait a minute before speaking up again "Ty say something please" still nothing now your starting to get a bit scared that your brother is so silent.

A few minutes later you are pulling into the small truck stop you are meeting everyone, as soon as Tyler parks the truck Boone doesn't waste a second before jumping out. Your cuts the engine and looks over to you.

"You are not moving in with him y/n"

"What do you mean I'm not you can't stop me Tyler" you start to raise your voice. "Its to soon you barley know him" Tyler shouts back "I have been with him 3 months by the time the season ends it will be over 6 months I'm moving in no matter what you say" you say to your brother, you open the truck door and get out before you can close it Tyler is right beside you.

"I said you can't move in with him if you need a place to live for awhile you can stay with me" your brother says. "Its not about me needing a place to stay Tyler"

"Then what's it about y/n please explain it to me" Tyler says crossing his arms over his chest. "I LOVE HIM TYLER I want to live with the man I love, I want to start building a life with with him what is so hard to understand?" You yell.

By this time your fight has gotten the attention of all your friends who just stood there watching. You see Kate Scott and Javi making their way over to where you and Tyler were.

"You love him so you have to live with him? Why can't you get your own place or live with me for awhile or even move back in with mom and dad hell even Danny

"Because I still think he's gonna break your heart and leave you more messed up then you were when Jake left then what huh?"

"Tyler I don't want to live alone or with yall especially Danny I want to live with the man I love why can't you just accept that" you say

"Who's Danny" you hear Javi whisper to Scott "their real dad, long story" Scott replies

"How dare you bring Jake up Tyler" you say anger and hurt in your your voice walking closer to your brother "And if you haven't noticed Scott is nothing like Jake and I'm a hell of a lot older. I trust Scott with my heart and my life the same way I trust you! So if you don't trust my judgment I don't know what to tell you. Now I am moving in with Scott and you cant stop me" and with that you start walking towards Scotts truck but not before you hear your brother one last time "we aren't done talking about this y/n y/m/n Owens" you stop in your tracks and turn around "yes we are Tyler James Owens you can either get in the boat and row or not it's up to you but either way this conversion is over"

A little while later your riding in Scotts truck looking out the window over the Oklahoma fields. Your mind wondering a million different way. Why can't my brother just accept Scott? Why can't he just put his dislike for him away and see his little sister is happy?

Your pulled from your thoughts by the sound of Scott's voice and the feel of his hand on your thigh "what's going on in that pretty head of yours sweetheart?" You take a second before answering "just don't understand why my brother is being such a dick, does he not realize I'm 25 almost 26, and he's trying to tell me what I can and can't do, like I'm not a child I'm a grown ass woman, I'm not telling him what do to do,he's acting like Danny and thats saying something because that man is the king of assholes,sorry I'm rambling" Scott just laughs at the rambling "it's ok baby just vent"

You vent for a few more minutes until something catches your eye on the radar that makes you pause. You take a closer look then look out the front windshield and what you see horrifies you "ummm Scott radio Javi tell him to get somewhere safe and take as many people with him as possible NOW and turn the damn truck around and get off this road and head back to that down 10 miles back" Scott looks at the radar and now sees what your seeing "sweetheart javi is with you brother" You pick up your phone and hit your brothers contact *ring ring ring*

"what y/n" your brothers voice comes through

"Not the time Ty Where are you"

"Look to your right we're across the field from you" you look over and sure enough there is Tyler's truck "wait why are you turning around"

"Tyler look at the radar then turn around and head back to that town, radio the rest of your crew and tell them to do the same, we have 20-25 tops to get to that down warn people then get to safety"

"10-4 little sister see you there be careful love you"

"Love you too big brother"

Scott makes it to the town in under 10 minutes, (and of course theres a town festival going on)as soon as he stops the truck you both jump out. Right as you close your door you brothers truck is pulling next to you and right behind him is Dexter Dani and Lilly.

The winds are picking up so is the rain and everyone is screaming and running around. "Go get inside" you yell as you try to help people into the nearest building. At one point you lose Scott and as much as that scares you you don't have time to think because as your running you see a little girl no older the 8 standing alone crying and scared so you run as fast as you can to her "Hey sweetie I know your scared but we need to get you inside and somewhere safe come with me" you scoop the little girl and start running. It's hard with the wind and rain, all of sudden Scott appears out of nowhere "give her to me I'm stronger" you don't question him you know he's right, so you hand her to your brother and continue to run.

"OK y/n how long do we have" Tyler ask "from the radar maybe 10 minutes 15 tops if we're lucky and this thing is BIG"

"OK spilt up get everyone you can into any near by building and all of you try to meet at that church across the street" with that you all scatter.

You make it the front steps of the church, Scott hand the little girl off to Kate while you, Scott, Tyler, Boone, and Javi usher as many people as you can inside. The wind is whipping around hail is coming down in the side of golf balls and the rain is coming in sideways and it's stinging. You can see the monster tornado heading towards the town. Just as you are about to go inside you see a little puppy in the street and don't think twice before running out to grab him.

"Y/N" you hear your name being yelled from all four guys but you don't care. Right before you reach the dog, you feel a sharp pain in your leg. You look down and see something has sliced right through your calf and its pouring blood but you push yourself to keep going. You reach the puppy and shove him into your jacket, he was so small and scared. The last thing you remember is turning to run back, you see Scott running towards you as fast as he could and and your brother getting held back by Boone and Javi screaming your name it all seemed to go in slow motion,then pain in your head and it all goes black.

#scott miller x reader #tyler owens #glen powell #scott miller #david corenswet #twisters

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call-sign-shark · 1 year ago

Text

Heaven in Your Eyes || Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC

Summary: Following the event of the kidnapping of his son, Thomas and the rest of the family learn you have killed a man. Confused and in a state of shock, the Shelbys debate whether or not they should accept you. But while they are debating, you are falling into a pit of anxiety. Now, it's Arthur's time to be there for you.

Words: 6K

TW: Light angst, canonical description of violence, mention of child abuse, smut, unprotected sex, mention of death and torture, trauma talk, fluff, hurt/comfort

Notes:

✞ Admittedly this part is longer than what I planned to do but it has plenty of essential moments and discussions. The next chapter wont be that long. As for the smut part, it is quite long too but it does have a purpose in the story. You can skip it if you want but you'll miss information.

✞ This chapter is complementary to the one-shot From Blood We'll Grow (but no need to read it)

✞ Heaven is OP's original character but written with the use of « you » (Moodboard here).

PREVIOUS || Masterlist || NEXT PART

Thomas Shelby was leaning against the kitchen counter, cigarette hanging in his lips and piercing blue eyes focused on the needle of the pocket watch he was holding in his hand. It would not be long before Arthur and John would come back, consequently he did his best to enjoy the precious quietness of the house before some family chaos. He put the watch back in the pocket of his vest and took a quick look at Polly, Ada, and Michael, who had no other choice but to wait with him. When Tommy demanded a family reunion, every one of them knew they better not missed it. The two women were sitting at the table, a smoking hot cup of tea in their hands. Polly’s dark irises were staring at an invisible spot on the wall in front of her as she lost herself in the meanders of her own thoughts. Contrary to her aunt, Ada could not stay still. She was nervously moving her leg, eyes shifting between her big brother, the clock on the wall, and her own hands.

“Where’s she?!” Arthur’s voice suddenly roared in the kitchen, alongside the loud bang the door made when he almost burst it open.

Here we go, Tommy thought even though his face remain placid. Knowing Charlie was safe at home had extinguished his anger.

“Is she okay?” John asked, sincerely worried for you. As time passed, he had grown fond of your presence more and more. He was out of breath for he had been running behind his oldest brother, trying to catch up with him. When he entered the kitchen, less than one minute after Arthur, he had leaned against one chair with his hands and tried his best not to spit his burning lungs out.

“Calm down, Arthur.” Tommy issued with a neutral voice, looking at Arthur’s face which was distorted with both worry and rage.

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do, Tom! Where the FOOK is she?” At first, Tommy thought his brother was just agitated, but when he saw Arthur coming at him with teeth bared and darkened eyes he understood it was not a simple tantrum. It was fury — the same fury that had pushed him to almost killed the man who had tried to murder Thomas at the horse race, to the point they had to choke him until he almost blacked out just to calm him. Tommy did not falter though and remained motionless.

Witnessing how enraged the oldest sibling was, Polly got up from her chair and grabbed him by the arm.

“She’s fine! I’ve taken care of her myself. She is fine.” Polly repeated louder, hoping her words would overcome her nephew’s terrifying fit. She had barely finished her sentence when Arthur turned his head to her in one vivid movement and growled like an animal. However, his facial expression relaxed a little despite his brows still furrowed and his eyes shooting bullets at everyone he was looking at. Anger was boiling in his veins, fueling his heart that was pumping to the rhythm of his growing anxiety. Breath hitching, teeth still slightly bared, Polly knew his nephew could snap at any moment. She knew he was like a jerrican of gasoline, whose slightest spark could turn into a destructive wildfire, “Arthur, please. She needs you lucid,” She paused and gently tightened her hands around his arm, “She just needs you.”

Arthur closed his eyes for a few seconds and inhaled. The gulp of fresh air managed to set his ideas straight — or was it simply because your well-being was more significant than anything else in the world? When he reopened his lids, he gathered all his strength to remain in control of his wild spirit. Another growl escaped from his lips.

“Where is she ?” These were the only words he could utter. Polly took a quick glance at Tommy and sighed. The whole family knew that Arthur, as stubborn as a dog refusing to give its stick, would not let it go. He would remain deaf to any of their explanations as long as he was not informed where his angel was.

“I’ve brought her to your house. I’ve helped her clean the blood from her skin. She was curled up in your bed when I left. See? She’s at home, safe and sound.”

“Hm.” He mumbled with his jaw clenched, right before starting to pace back and forth in the room like a caged lion under Tommy’s undisrupted eyes. The latter cleared his voice to get everyone’s attention.

“I want to know what happened in every detail. Michael?” Tommy’s voice was collected. So controlled and cold his breath almost turned the whole room into a castle of ice and frost. Michael shook his head. The latest events were still stuck on replay in his troubled mind: the sensation of Hughes's skin against his hands made him nauseous each time he thought about it. Even though he took the life of the monster who had robbed him of his innocence, the threatening shadow of the priest still floated above him, waiting for Michael to fall asleep to fill his nightmare with unspeakable and excruciating memories. Hughes was gone, but the wounds were still there, vey much opened. He lowered his head, unable to bear the weight of the family’s eyes staring at him.

“I’ve killed Hughes,” He started his left hand nervously scratching the back of his right one until his skin turned red, “I wanted to grab Charles and bring him home but he was not in there. That’s when I heard a kid screaming and a big thud. When I entered the other room Heaven was—“ He stopped, for he felt the burn of the ravaging fire that was blazing in Arthur’s eyes. The unspoken threat was clear enough for him to understand: he better be careful with the next words that were about to come from his mouth if he did not want the beast to tear him apart.

“She was?” Tommy’s authoritative and slightly impatient tone captured his attention again.

“She was covered with blood, Charles in her arms. She had killed the man who wanted to hurt your son by stabbing him with a pair of scissors. If Heaven had not been there, Hughes’ colleague would have shot me and Charlie down. I saw a gun a few inches from the corpse.”

No one dared to speak now that the facts had been spit, leaving no doubt on your implication in the whole mission. Tommy brought his hands to his face and rubbed it in an attempt to process all the information he had just learned. A part of him could not believe it: how could you so easily kill a man who was almost twice your height and weight? After all, you were such a frail and small creature he had trouble imagining you going feral and butchering someone with the sole strength of your tiny hands. Yet, he knew about the dead you left on your trail when you left France. Five men, his informants told him. Five men were found dead in the forest surrounding the village. The authorities who had reported the crime called it “inhumane”. When Tommy read the case file, his jaw almost dropped at the description of the bodies — these men had not only been murdered, they had been hunted down like animals. While he first doubt the veracity of the reports, today’s events made him realize they were not exaggerated. You were dangerous. As dangerous as unpredictable. And Tommy hated what he could not predict nor control.

“Heaven… killed him?” Arthur asked, thus breaking the silence. He had frozen, turned to an ice statue by Michael’s words. He could not believe it either. How could you, his sweet and holy angel, do such a thing? He swallowed, left utterly speechless and confused.

“She did!” Michael insisted when he saw the doubt on Arthur’s face. Then, he turned to Tommy once again, “I’d be fucking dead if she hadn’t been there. And Charles too.”

Tommy let out a loud sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to kill his dawning headache.

“There was so much blood on her Tommy.”

So much blood, Arthur thought. His mind drifted away from the conversation as he tried to recreate the scene in his head. He imagined you, entering the office bathed in the pale moonlight, crimson ink bringing a frightening touch of color to your snow-white hair and skin. It felt surreal — and exciting.

“I’ve told you she was a fucking curse but no one listened to me. What am I supposed to do for people to fucking listen to me eh? Hear me Arthur?” Tommy’s chilling gaze looked upon his oldest brother.

“You know what? Fuck you, Tom. I’m done.” Arthur’s gruff voice was underlined with an unexpected and astounding calm. He had reached his breaking point, “What are ye gonna do now, eh? Wait, lemme guess. You’re gonna come at me and stand with your bossy demeanor, telling me I need to leave me angel because she’s some kind of psychotic freak to you. Then you’re gonna pat my back and tell me to forget her and that I’ll find a better woman. Maybe buy me a whore. Yes, that sounds like Tommy Shelby.” Arthur shook his head, a sarcastic chuckle coming from his lips, “You tried to make me suspect her, eh. Can't fucking believe it.” He chuckled again, far more nervously this time. “Wanna pull everyone down in your fall, that's what you want. If you can’t be happy no one around you shall be, right?“

“You don’t seem to realize what she did. And she told me to keep an eye on my son. Everyone would have suspected her.” Tommy retorted, blizzard coating his words.

“But she saved him.” Everyone turned to Polly, whose remark caused Thomas Shelby to grit his teeth. The unpleasant truth felt like nails scratching a board. Except the board was his own bones and the nails his Aunt’s words.

“She risked her own life to save your son even though you had insulted her.”

“Polly, I do like her. But I understand Tommy. She killed someone. You get it? This is not a trivial way to resolve a problem.” Ada intervened, her fingers tapping the varnished wood of the table.

“That’s what we always do, Ada. That’s what I did too.” Polly spoke with indisputable sorrow in her voice, “Whether you like it or not this company’s license is written in blood, and its foundations are made with dead bodies. We are all standing on an empire of silent hearts and maimed flesh.” A fresh nightly breeze went through the open window, caressing Polly’s face and making her short curly hair dance in the wind. The power of her soliloquy tamed Ada’s fierce spirit, “Arthur and John have been killing for this family for years. I murdered Campbell. Regarding Michael — Michael put Hughes down. And you, Tommy, when did you lose count of the men you put to sleep?”

“Fucking right.” Arthur mumbled.

Thomas looked at his aunt with a neutral face, the only detail that betrayed him was the spark of interest shining in his piercing blue eyes.

“Think ‘bout it Tommy. She foresaw Charles’ abduction. And when her powers reached her limits, she had not been afraid to dive her own hands in shit to help us. Don’t you think she has proven her loyalty to this family?”

“She isn’t loyal to us, she is to Arthur.” He corrected.

“It makes little to no difference,” Arthur responded, rolling his eyes.

“Alright, then.” Tommy cut them all off, clapping his hands to close the debate. He had heard enough, “Since we all have different opinions about Arthur’s angel — the sarcasm in his voice was undeniable — we’re going to vote. Arthur?”

“A vote? ‘Bout me bloody life decisions? Go to Hell, Tom!” He roared in response, driven crazy by the fact you were all alone at home, aching and terrified, and that he was not here for you, “She’s the woman I’ll marry. The other half of my soul. You can go all fook off if you don’t accept her in the family.”

“Predictable. Ada?”

“I don’t know. She had been quite extreme and Finn is scared of her. “

“Gonna take this for a negative answer along with Finn’s opinion. I already know Esme’s thoughts on the topic so there are three people opposed to her joining this family and one rooting for it. John?”

John remained silent for a while, his sky-blue eyes staring at Tommy with palpable irritation, “How can you all even discuss the topic? She has done more to take care of Arthur than anyone here in this room.” He walked to his oldest brother and put one hand on his shoulder as a sign of support, “I like her, and she deserves a place in this fucking family, even though she'll soon understand she ain't the curse but this family name is.”

“Michael?” Tommy went on, unmoved.

“I did not really care until now. Don’t really trust the girl but she saved me so… “

“I’ll take that as a yes. And Polly?”

“I know I haven’t been easy with her but it was because I could not sense her intentions. I was afraid she would bring evil forces upon us but she has the gift of healing. My grandmother used to have it, you know, and it runs only through the veins of exceptionally gifted witches. She could be useful, you know. We could benefits from her powers. And tonight…” She took a deep breath, “She saved my son.” The way to a mother’s heart often was her children, and Polly Gray was no exception.

“Three against four. Seems like this whole debate is over, Tom. Now I think I’ve been patient enough with your bullshit. Stop wasting my time while my place is beside her.” Arthur took one last look at his family, fury blazing in his eyes, and left the house, making the whole building shake when he slammed the door close.

“Heaven!”

When Arthur stormed into your bedroom, he was welcomed with the sight of your quivering silhouette standing in front of the window and hugging itself. It felt like a stab in his heart as he was reminded that you had to face the latest events all alone. Worst than this, one of the last things he had expressed to you was a slight doubt about your involvement in Charles’ kidnapping. He had not only been absent, he had also been awful, and God knew how ashamed it made him feel.

“Are you okay?” It did not take more than one second for Arthur to rush toward you and cup your face between his large hands, “Fookin’ hell, angel I’m so so sorry!”

You did not reply but instead stared at his guilty blue eyes with an unfathomable expression on your face. Your silence convinced him you were mad at him.

“They told me what happened and — “

Arthur could not finish his sentence, for your small and cold fists grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him in a ferocious kiss. Your lips crashed against his like a rogue wave breaking on the shore and destroying everything in his path.

You pulled away from the kiss, leaving his mouth hanging a few inches from yours.

Arthur, running out of breath, did not move except for his steel blue eyes that looked down at your body. You were wearing nothing but his white shirt adorned with stripes. The garment covered you down your thighs for it was far too large for your tiny being. “Christ,” He whispered to himself, struck by how the vision of you wearing his shirt as only clothes turned him on. His whiskey breath melted with yours, almost intoxicating you in the process as if you had drunk the whole bottle by yourself. But it was not alcohol that was making your head spin, but the instant relief the eldest Shelby gave you by his sole presence. Arthur’s tongue grazed your swollen lips with its tip, desperately hungry for more. He had been waiting to come back to you for countless hours, your face haunting his mind even when he had sent men to Hell in one big explosion. “Kiss me again, please.” He said in a soft but slightly impatient voice. He needed you to kiss him again. He needed to feel you did not hate him for doubting, nor for not having been there to protect you.

But you did not bless him with a second kiss despite the undeniable supplications in his fair eyes and the caress his feverish sighs left on your skin. You stood still, your irises firmly anchored in his for what seemed to be an eternity. Your lips remained sealed but one crystal tear rolled down your cheek.

“Hey. I’m here, love. I'm so sorry for everything you had to do…” Arthur said softly when he noticed you were crying.

No reply came from your tantalizing mouth. You kept staring at him, battling against the flood of emotions that was invading you now that your mind slowly but surely came to realize what happened last night. The blood — there had been so much blood.

“Heaven, talk to me.” He pressed one of his hands on your cheek, the cold silver of his rings alleviating your panic. And then it happened. You snapped out of your torpor all of a sudden and pushed him onto the bed. Arthur’s body fell on the soft mattress, leaving him both speechless and surprised by such unexpected reaction. Eyes wide opened, lips parted, he wondered what would you do such a thing. Did you — reject him?

“I need to forget this awful night.” Your voice was merely a whisper, but the power your words held shook him to his very soul. It was not anger nor resentment that coated your tone but lust. Without shifting your eyes from him, you brought your hands to the large shirt you were wearing and undid the first button, “I have to get it out of my goddamn head.” The way your French accent melted on your words like butter got him all fuzzy and weak.

“You sure, love?” He asked still surprised, taking a deep inhale through his nostrils.

“You have to erase it from my mind.” Your sentence broke up his core.

Arthur bit the flesh of his lower lip in anticipation as he understood what you wanted from him. Somehow, he got it: the blood, the adrenaline, the thrill of the kill… You had to find a way to release the tension. That was what he did with you in the shower last time he bashed someone’s head with his bare fists. Not only he got it, but he was ready to be your cure. His pale irises devoured your silhouette, desire burning within as you started to strip in front of him. You popped the second button with your frail fingers — and he flickered like a candle flame. Arthur’s fists closed on the bedsheet as frustration grew stronger at your languorous movements… And yet, that was the most exquisite form of torture he had ever experienced. He grunted, almost like an animal. If he had genuinely enjoyed the sight of you wearing his shirt, all he wanted now was to tear that bloody thing off you and exposed your naked body for him to see. When you finally popped the last button, a shiver of desire ran down his spine as if someone had just brushed him with the sharp tip of a knife.

The shirt was now open, showcasing more of your appetizing porcelain flesh. With one languid gesture, you let it fall on the floor and disclosed your whole being to Arthur’s starving eyes. The way the pale light of the sun coming through the window’s blinds drew patterns on your silky skin captivated him.

“Oh fuck — love,” His gruff voice said, carried away with a moan. The sensual sight made his whole body react, to the point he was now feeling far too tight in his trousers, and that was getting uncomfortable. Usually, he would not have waited so long for touching you, but today he could not help but admire your wildness. Petrified by a far too eery arousal, Arthur had the impression invisible ropes were wrapped around his body and pinned him to the mattress. He could not move and barely breathe. All he was able to do was to watch you with complete fascination. What stirred such a dizzying and strong effect was not only your angelic beauty, but also the dangerous energy that was radiating off you. This, combined with the few dried blood stains that were still adorning your skin from here and there left him feral. You stepped towards the bed, your hips swinging to the rhythm of your graceful walk. Arthur, hypnotized, swallowed the lump in his throat, his mouth dry and his heart racing in his chest. You hopped on the mattress and straddled him. How could such a tiny creature like you hold so much power? He thought. Hell, he could have broken your frail bones so easily with his own hands but here you were, riding him. You. The sweet angel he had met at church.

But you had a twisted something.

And it made him fall even harder.

A twisted something Linda never had nor understood.

Arthur inhaled sharply and growled, realizing you had literally taken his breath away.

“I want you. ” You said with teary eyes.

“So what are you waiting for, love?” His words managed to reach his mouth despite the awe you instilled in him. As he said so, your hands boldly began to explore his chest. The friction of your palms and his shirt’s fabric against his skin unleashed a wave of warmth within. Arthur shivered and watched you, still enraptured, while he let you take control of him. To hell with Tommy’s doubts and the family’s fear, you could pull his strings he would not mind as long as you belonged to him. After you had opened his shirt and exposed his chest, scattered with millions of freckles you often liked to kiss, your fingers made their way down his boiling skin and left frost in their wake. Another gruff moan — you were giving him fever.

Once you reached his waist, you took his suspenders off and threw them somewhere in the bedroom. Arthur replied to your boldness by grabbing your hips with his large and calloused hands — scarred from murder — and by giving them a bruising squeeze. That simple touch, combined with the feeling of his hard shaft pressing between your legs, sent surges of electricity through your entire being.

“Let your man take care of you, eh,” The gravel in his voice made your cheeks burn. He wiped your golden tears with his thumb— as beautiful as they were, he just hated to see them on your pretty face. Somehow, Arthur was well aware he was a high-maintenance man and he could not thank you enough for everything you were doing for him. How many times Linda had told him he wasn’t worth her help? He wasn’t worth saving? He had lost count after a while, but you never did. Unable to wait any longer for your bodies to unite, he then unbuckled his belt and unzipped his trousers, those noises bringing goosebumps all over your skin, “there, love.” He softly uttered before pulling his pants down just enough to free his erection. You moved your hips in response, guiding his cock between your wet folds without further ado. Welcomed by your wet warmth, he let out a long sigh of pure delight. Nothing could have prepared him to the all-consuming, almost suffocating desire you stirred in him. Sometimes he wondered if you had cast a spell on him, for no other woman had such an irresistible effect upon him. Each time you touched him, even for the simplest and most innocent interaction, desire and love hit him like a bullet.

“Arthur…” You sighed, as he started to roll his hips under you and push against your entrance with the glistening head of his cock. It was too much for him to wait anymore: all he wanted now was to dive into your flesh and conquer the wild territory of your soul. You gritted your teeth, almost hissing with excitation at the hurricane of sensations that was tearing you apart. You could not wait either, because he was the one who could fill the void. That excruciating and gaping void, as painful as a sucking wound, that had first opened a few years ago when you killed these five men. Oh, don’t get it wrong, they deserved it as much as the priest, but it had left you empty since then— so empty it hurt. But Arthur found you one night, and everything changed. You were his savior, but he was your cure.

“Look at me, Heaven. “ He said, his tone candy-coated with tenderness, for you had lowered your gaze ashamed of your tears. You obeyed and dared to look, your aquamarine eyes shining like precious stones. “The first night you saw me killed a man you told me I was pretty with blood all over my face. I could not fookin’ believe it,” He left his sentence hanging and pushed inside you, his thick cock stretching your walls. You moaned, throwing your head back and closing your eyes at the delightful mix of pain and pleasure.

“Arthur!” You whined, a louder lament escaping from your quivering lips, “I— I remember… ” You managed to answer between two sighs. Speaking became a real struggle as he worked you open, causing heat to pool in your abdomen and blood to rush to your pale cheeks. Arthur gave another thrust, and another, until your hips met and every last inch of his cock was buried deep inside you. Fire spread within his soul and yours when you finally made one — like you were meant to be. “Arthur!“ You repeated in a desperate cry, glistening love juice dripping from your pussy as he started with a quick pace from the get-go. You took a sudden deep breath and opened your eyes wide as if you had suddenly come back to life — because that was the kind of effect he had on you: he made you feel alive. With each push and pull of his cock, he fogged your mind and let you forget all the bad memories.

“F-Fuck!“ Sucking in a sharp breath, he shattered at the way you chanted his name. Head spinning, heart drumming, Arthur could not help but enjoy your beauty — How magnificent you were with your back arching and blissed out. “Well, I see you right now, and lemme tell you…” He panted, forced to make short pauses between his words to let out hoarse growls of pleasure, “You don’t look pretty,” He straightened back up to sit on the edge of the bed and wrapped your waist with his long arms while his hips kept fucking you in a rough pace. The corner of his lips curled in a fierce grin now that he could watch the emotions on your face from far closer, “You look divine with blood stains all over you and my dick deep inside that tight holy pussy of yours.” His words, carried by the gravel of his voice, chased away the sorrow and brought a smile to your swollen lips. As a reply, you kissed him with hunger. Dancing tongues left him breathless, “And now I’m gonna fuck away the pain and fill you with something else than sadness…” He whispered against your mouth before abandoning it only to lay a myriad of enamored kisses on your throat. The way his mustache tickled your skin only strengthened the coiling tension that had formed a knot in your stomach. “Tonight, I’m the one who saves you, angel.”

His thrusts grew faster and rougher as he spoke. To the point you were now bouncing on his lap, the sound of snapping flesh echoing in the whole bedroom alongside your erratic breath, his hoarse moans, and your enchanting cries of pleasure. You felt full and he did his best to keep you so. In fact, he barely pulled his hips back — rather wanting to remain as deep as he could in your oh-so tight pussy, “You’re a good girl, yes you are. The prettiest little murderous thing ever created eh. The fookin’ perfection …” He purred in your neck, and each of his praises made your very soul quiver. His pace soon became frenzied, for he could barely contain himself at the delightful feeling of your fragile walls pulsing all around his cock and the way you almost growled like an animal when he left small bites on your skin. Pleasure was escalating, rattling your bones so violently your nails dug into the freckled skin of his back. Little crimson drops of blood beaded from the kitten scratches your nails left in their wake. The pleasant pain caused him to give you one meaner thrust in response along with a snarl — Fuck, he liked it. His cock twitched inside you, feeling climax building. Clenching his jaws, Arthur reopened his eyes he had closed a few seconds, backed up a little bit from your neck, and stared at you. Yes, he wanted to watch you. His steel blue eyes burnt with a gleam of madness and blazing love, “You’re so fookin’ beautiful eh. Me little angel. Me future wife.” The spectacle of you bouncing on his lap, covered with a thin layer of sweat glistening on your porcelain skin, and your wild ivory mane all messed up was the most magnificent view he had ever seen. Arthur dived one last time inside of you, all the muscles of his body tensing, and he fell apart. He spilled himself in your pussy with a long raspy moan, his half-closed eyes staring at you during his whole orgasm.

“Please don’t stop, don’t stop!” You yelled.

“Such a hungry little angel, eh. Yell louder.” He teased, still high from his little death. His hips jerked, and he released another rope of thick cum, “Come for your Arthur.”

The sensation of his warm semen filling you was the end of you. Your pleasure finally reached its peak as well. Your thighs trembled on either side of Arthur as his hips slowly roll to accompany your climax. Almost blacking out because of the intensity of your orgasm, you let out one final scream and collapsed in his arms, your body limp. Arthur’s hands gently stroked your back. You hugged him tighter in reply, your breasts crushed against his chest, and stars still dancing behind your eyelids. Locked up in a tight embrace, you were both catching your breath and savoring this moment of pure tenderness. How long did you stay here, firmly gripping each other, sweaty and panting, as if your life depended on it? None of you could tell, for you had both lost the notion of time. After a while, Arthur’s back fell on the mattress again and he pulled you with him. You put your head on his chest, closed your eyes, and smiled.

“Feels better, love?” He inquired, concerned about your well-being. His long fingers grazed your back in a lovely caress. Despite you having both come, Arthur stayed deep inside you for he just loved the sensation of your two bodies making one in the most intimate way possible.

“Definitely… “ You sighed in relief, lulled by his presence under, around, and inside you.

“You know, “ He started, “Maybe you would feel even better if you talked to me about that troubled past of yours. We’ve been together for a while so you know I won’t judge, eh.”

You crossed your arms on his chest and raised your head a little to plunge your eyes into his, “Nosey little gangster.”

“Little? Fook me, yer the little one here.” He teased, one brow raised, “You tiny brat.”

You stuck your tongue out as a reply, which made him laugh. Yeah, you were definitely the brattiest angel God ever created.

“I’ll let you keep my shirt if ya tell me. Sounds like a deal, eh?”

“Deal. You’ve won.” You replied, "I like your shirt too much to say no," Truth be told, what motivated you was not really the shirt itself but the fact you were done bearing the weight of your past all alone. In addition, Arthur had always been completely sincere with you from the day you met. He had been true about his demons, his fear, his flaws. About everything. You definitely owed him the truth, “ Alright… I was living a happy little life in the French Alps when Hughes came.” Your smile vanished from your face at the simple mention of his name, as if you had bitten into a pill of cyanide, “He replaced the town’s priest for a few months. We thought it wouldn’t make much difference but we were wrong. No one saw it coming you know? His words were so smooth that almost everyone was hanging onto his sermons. He was the one who spread the rumors witches were hidden among us. And weeks after weeks, the whole town slipped into insanity. Superstition and fear drove them all to accuse friends, family, or neighbors of concerting with the Devil.” You paused and swallowed the lump in your throat.

Arthur gently slipped one of your ivory strands of hair behind your ear, listening to you carefully.

“Five men came into our home one night, and they assaulted my mom, my dad, and my little sister who was sleeping in their bed. It’s true my mom was a witch, but she used her power to heal the ill and the wounded. No one knew the extent of her abilities, they just believed she was a brilliant herbalist… I was in my own bedroom when it happened so the noise woke me up. I wanted to help them but what could a thirteen years old girl could do against all those strong men?” You bit your lip.

“Take your time, love.” Arthur’s fingers lose themselves in your hair in a tender sign of affection and support.

“I escaped by my bedroom’s windows and hid in a bush. They were looking for me, calling me awful names and… Laughing. Yeah, they laughed as if they were having a fucking hunting party, except I was the bloody prey.” You clenched your jaw and frowned, hatred burning in your sanctified eyes, “They took my family away. I followed them discreetly, in hopes of helping them to escape. But I couldn't.” Fighting against your tears, you buried your face in Arthur’s neck. His arms tightened around your frail body in response. He wanted you to know he was there, “They’ve hung my dad. And they sent many women including, my mom and my sister, to the pyre. She was eight. She was just a fucking kid, Arthur.”

“Bloody hell…” Words were at loss at such awful revelations. He hugged you tighter in a reflex, his instincts wanting to protect that poor frightened little girl who was still crying somewhere in your mind. The little girl who never had a chance to heal.

“I still hear her screams at night. So full of agony that it was hard to believe they came from a human being. Her screams haunt me, along with villagers' chants around the bonfires,"

"Their chants?"

"Burn witch, burn witch, burn." You whispered, shaking like a leaf.

“How did you manage to escape?” His gruff and comforting voice asked. You snuggled a bit more in his arms in response.

“I knew the woods by heart. I walked for days to the village that was at the foot of the mountains and knocked on the first door I saw. An old woman used to live there. She took care of me. But as I grew up, I could not heal from that terrifying night. My mind kept replaying the screams, the laughter, and the chants, to the point it almost drove me crazy. I had to do something to soothe the anger that was burning within. So I waited and waited until the time to avenge my family came. I tracked down the five men that broke into our house and took my family. I hunted them like animals for weeks, instilling fear in them, as they did when they were looking for me. And when they finally died, I left France and tried to build a new life here, in Birmingham. Regarding the rest of the story, I think you already know it. I fell for a gangster and here I am. In your arms.”

“Which is exactly where you belong” He corrected. One of Arthur's hand grabbed your chin and gently forced you to look at him, “I am so sorry, love. So fookin’ sorry. But don’t feel bad for the men you killed… They deserved it — just like Hughes and his colleague. An eye of an eye,” His lips kissed your head with indescribable sweetness, “I’ll never let anyone hurt you again eh. God forgive but I’ll make this city fucking bleed if someone dares to lay a finger upon you ever again,” His other hand stroke the curve of your hips, “I know no one will replace nor bring back your family. But… You have me,” He said awkwardly. As he did, he very lightly rolled his hips under you, causing you to sigh with pleasure for you had kept him warm and loved between your legs during the whole conversation. “You have me for-fucking-ever. And I’ll do my best to heal the pain and save you from your demons.”

You smiled at him, utterly touched by what he had just said. His promise was like a soothing balm on the gaping wound of your heart, “Am I not the one supposed to save you? ”

“We save each other, love.” He whispered, his lips collapsing with yours in a kiss filled with unspoken promises and undying love.

“I love you.” You mumbled between two eager kisses, barely finishing your sentence when Arthur’s lips captured yours again.

“Not as much as I do, love” He mumbled against the corner of your mouth, his mustache grazing your cheek when he did, because he refused to stop devouring your lips even for one second. The whisky taste of his tongue intoxicated you, making you so dizzy you did not understand how he flipped you on your back. Nor how you ended up gently pinned to the bed, the weight of his body on top of you. But it did not matter. All that mattered was the moment. The soft moans and sloppy kisses. The creaking bed and the endless sighs. You made love again— but this time it was more slow and sensual than earlier.

And late at night, when you finally fell asleep in his loving arms, you did not hear the screams anymore. Nor the evil laughter lurking in the shadows. Quite the contrary, you dozed off with a smile on your face and shooting stars filling your head, lulled by the soothing rhythm of Arthur’s heartbeat. His fire was the only one you would let consume you skin to bones.

He was the gasoline.

You were the match.

And if you both burnt,

The whole world would burn with you.

✞ gif by the talented @alicent-targaryen

✞ Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.

✞ Normally, each chapter of this series can be read as stand-alone but not this one. It's far more enjoyable if you have read at least the previous chapter.

Tag: @meowtastick @babayaga67 @sired-to-hybridrid @shelbyssins @kxnnxyasdfg @adaydreamaway08 @theshelbyclan @jomarch-wannabe @esposadomd @zablife

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imaginespazzi · 11 days ago

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hey nivi! i've read GH since the beginning and always look forward to bookclub reviews so i thought i'd write my own since ive been suffering for 42 days without a new chapter 😆

heartbreaking to see the moment paige's hope gets crushed. like why was i hoping azzi would show up in that moment... unrealistic bc you like to break our hearts sm

WE NEED TO KNOW THE DETAILS OF THE BREAKUP RNNN i feel like azzi had good reason to be hesitant but its killing me that we dont know what. the miscommunication angst is gonna go crazy

Drew doesn’t really remember Paige without Azzi- doesn’t remember a time before his sister knew how to heal without the brunette’s touch HELPPPP their breakup def shattered his perception of love

Because Drew and Paige are cut from the same material and letting Azzi into the folds seems to just come naturally to both of them. rly giving me hope that everything was gonna be okay.. when is drew gonna come around 🙁 im wondering if paige ever explained why they broke up

“I won’t let it happen again.” i fear drew is not gonna let it slide this time.. i can sense the obstacles its gonna take for them to be together again

i love when paige calls azzi baby.

i dont know why i was surprised but it makes sense that paige hasn't forgiven azzi yet. im curious to see if paige truly knows azzis reasoning for saying no. maybe if they have that conversation later and azzi reveals why she did it then paige might have clarity and forgive her so they can move on

“I know what she deserves. I think I know what’s good for my daughter,” Azzi says steely and Paige feels something cold squeezing through her ribcage, “no soda Stephie. End of discussion.” guys i dont think this is about soda.. i think this is the beginning of azzi pulling away and realizing how much paige has attached herself to their life and its scaring her

“what are you gonna do when she walks away again? When she lets you go again, what are you gonna do Paige?” if azzi overheard this i hope she takes it as motivation to reassure paige she wont leave instead of running away again. in her head she probably thinks that leaving sooner rather than later is the best choice but the only real choice is to STAY!!!

"Paige feels the blood drain out of her body as she slowly turns around to find Stephie and Azzi -their faces ashen with identical expressions of betrayal- staring at her. " earth shattering. stephie finding out this way was heartbreakingggg. i thought that paige could stay if she wanted to though i think this could be worked through but in this moment everyone is so heated and azzi and stephie are definitely thinking the worst things rn NIVI FIX THIS!! i think everyone just needs to talk it out and take small steps to forgive each other.

anyways thank you so much nivi for writing the best pazzi series ive ever read. it is always the light of my day, week, and month when you post. im so excited to see how this plays out i am craving moree. but take your time i will be right here when you are ready to release the next chapter

love,

-💋💄

Hello hello friend, welcome to book club!

It would just be too simple if she had shown up and I like to keep things a little....complex shall we say.

I think Azzi's reason were valid but perhaps not the greatest execution. I'm very excited to eventually go into her POV about it and keen to see how y'all respond to that.

Drew's worldview was changed by the breakup and now he's very guarded about himself and his sister.

Interesting theories :)

I really like seeing y'alls responses because I think y'all might be surprised by how I eventually decide write things out in comparison to what y'all are expecting but it also helps me add a little bit to what I'm already planning.

Thank YOU so much my love for reading and taking the time to give me your thoughts, that's always so very appreciated.

#ask #fic talk #notes time with nivi 💅🏽#💋💄 anon my new angel <3 #ugh i love how much bookclub has grown

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bronx-bomber87 · 1 year ago

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Happy Saturday everyone :) The next stop in our S1 rewatch is episode 12.

1x12 Heartbreak

Oooh man is the name accurate on this one. The final chapter in the Tim/Isabel saga for s1 and it’s a doozy. Stab right to the heart emotionally. We had a Lucy forward ep earlier with the Capt. This is our Tim centered one. A very important one at that. I’m excited to delve into this one. This review will mainly focus on him. Love me some Tim Bradford.

Right off the bat this man is killing me. He seems so damn hopeful when he arrives. Hesitant still but a hopeful look in his eyes. Telling Isabel she looks like herself again. He seems so thrilled she actually went through with rehab. To see her look like his wife. Something I'm sure he was worried he would never see again. Its written all over his face. Eric CRUSHES this ep. Always in awe of his performance. He's a treasure.

Isabel tells him she wanted to leave every day, but something made her stay. Tim asks what? She tells him she wanted to make sure Tim got to see her sober. *heart clutch* Then we get to see that gorgeous smile of his. He makes a joke saying his job here is done and pretends to leave. Isabel laughs at him being a goober. This the least stressed/broken he’s looked around her the entire season. It’s wonderful to witness after all the hurt.

Isabel starts off by trying to make amends with Tim. Because of all the people in her life she cut him the deepest. She wants to be honest with him so he can start to trust her again someday. Classic S1 Tim just wants to put it in a box and never open that box ever again. The opposite of what Isabel is trying to achieve. Just wants it to be black and white. That Isabel only did the things she did cause she was an addict. Poor Tim is denying the fact that it’s so much deeper than that. He’s dreading/avoiding the outcome of it not being neatly tied up.

What that’ll mean for them and their marriage. Saying addicts have it hard wired in their DNA to lie, steal and cheat. That he knows she couldn't have helped all that. The way he lays it out for her makes it sound like he can never trust her again. Isabel addresses this right away.

She stops Tim tells him she’ll always be an addict. Tim once again is trying to put it into a box he can comprehend. Which is it wasn’t Isabel that hurt him it was the drugs. To him now that she’s clean she won’t do that again. You can see how her replies are in massive conflict with his. He doesn't want to re-live it all again where she is trying to do so in order to heal. Tim just wants to put to behind him and forget. Where as she wants to confront it and have him face what she did to him. Driving her crazy that he wont do so.

She is wanting atonement for her sins and he’s saying it wasn’t her. Oh Tim. He loves her so much he refuses to let her fault herself for what she did. Much easier for him to have something to blame it on. She gets mad and tells him his black and white outlook is maddening. Where as to Tim he sees comfort in his logic, his ability to just strip something down and put it away. You can see how its frustrating her. His avoidance is because he knows if he faces this what the outcome will be...Its why he's trying to downplay this whole visit.

Kills me the way she tells him she couldn’t live up to his standards. That she only felt like she failed him. This I feel was more on Isabel than it ever was on Tim IMO. If she had just told him he could’ve listened to her. Worked on it together. Tim couldn't fix what he didn't know about. He loved her so much he would’ve done anything for her. All she had to do was communicate how she was feeling. Instead she let it fester and become such a problem that she turned to drugs for a release. That to me seemed to be the root of her addiction. In her mind she couldn’t live up so she had to numb herself. Find a escape from that constant feeling of failure.

What sucks is while she is unburdening her soul she’s adding to Tim's. The look on his face above shows me he had no idea she thought this. Not a damn clue. By off loading her demons she's given him an insecurity. One about himself that he will carry for years to come. It rears its ugly head in 5x21 with Lucy. (Where she shuts it down. Refuses to let him live in those fears and makes him confront them. Forces that communication he never had with Isabel. Or with anyone before her really. More proof why she’s his person ❤️) But that is MUCH further down the road . What this shows though is what an impact Isabel's words had on him even years later. It just laid dormant. Like an emotional time bomb.

Isabel is telling him it’s ok to be mad at her. That he’s supposed to be. This is the way it works. Except he can’t....Tim is having this internal battle. Fighting against his loyal nature about being mad. I relate to this so very much. I too am a deeply loyal person. When you’re as loyal as Tim is it’s so hard to see fault in those you love. Almost like you’re betraying them by doing so. He’s struggling so hard with the idea that she hurt him and it wasn’t all the drugs.

He’s so tired from this whole ordeal. Even though he should be angry all he wants is his wife back. That has to be the saddest part of this whole situation. It’s why he’s dismissing everything. He thinks if he does he will get his life with her back. He wants to erase the past year and a half. To just have it go back to the way it was before. As they near end the of their convo the tragic look in his eyes destroys me. He knows it’s over. Tim's hope for recovery/reconciliation is gone.

His body is defeated and he’s started to retreat emotionally. Tim tells her as his final piece, how everyone told him to give up on her. That she was lost. His reply breaks my heart. ‘What kind of husband would I be if I left you while you were lost?’ That deep love and loyalty coming into play strong. Killing me softly sir. Telling her she wasn't lost anymore, his role in her life was now over.

This portion what makes me the saddest. Tim being Tim is going to take the entire blame. If it’s going to lessen Isabel's pain/guilt he will burden himself with it. Take on the extra load emotionally. If him removing himself from her life makes her recovery better that’s what he will do. Because that’s Tim Bradford. He will always do what’s best for those he loves even if it destroys him. Makes him feel less than and second place to those people.

Absolutely kills me how he thinks he’s the problem. The reason she’ll never move on. When he’s the reason she’s even alive right now. But being the noble good man he is, Tim removes himself from the situation. Realizes there is nothing left to save. He’s the one who makes the call that it’s the end for them. That is growth for him that he can see this. Something Tim had been chasing for a year. Trying to get her to get clean and then back to the way they were. A dream now gone.

He came into his visit so hopeful and happy. Everything about him Is crushed when he leaves her side. That hug is the most depressing hug. Because it’s goodbye. They both know it. It’s goodbye to their marriage, to who they were before this and to what Tim had hoped would happen when he came to visit her. Sadly life can't be tied up neatly with a bow. There is an unrecoverable loss to this and its harsh reality for them both. More so for Tim IMO.

They both crush this scene. The way she fidgets before he leaves. Then makes sure to tell him thank you. They’re both on the verge of tears. Tim asks her what she’s thanking him for? Her reply is ‘Never giving up on me.’ He can't even muster up a small smile after. That is a sad and broken man that walks away from Isabel. I am crushed. Someday you’ll be loved properly Tim I promise. ❤️

Tim is so damn defeated in every way when we see him back at the station. Nell catches him and can see he isn’t ok. He tries to brush it off and go bury himself in paperwork. She takes him at his word and starts to leave. Then he does something he probably wouldn’t have done in his pre-Lucy days. He asks Nell if he could have a friend tonight. This is such a huge step towards who he becomes later. Finally just asking for some comfort and help.

Instead of being alone drowning in sadness and probably some self loathing, he chose to ask for help from someone he knew he could trust. To have someone to be there for him. I’m so proud of Tim. The growth he’s had already in this season been immense. His character arc along with Lucy’s is just so damn satisfying to watch. It’s slow but steady af. Love this man.

~~~~~

Side Notes- Non Chenford/Tim. Not really much TBH this ep all consuming for Tim for me. Got some good Wopez in the ep their first break and all before getting back together.

Jackson and the Nurse super cute to watch. His first romance of the series.

Thank you all for reading per usual. Your likes/comments (which i LOVE) and reblogs mean the world to me. Shall see you all in 1x13!

#Caitlin rewatches The Rookie #chenford #chenford hiatus #waiting on s6 #summer rewatch #s1 #1x12 Heartbreak #the rookie #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #eric winter #melissa o'neil #lucy x tim #otp: doing my job #tim bradford x lucy chen

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