#and i hope i get to talk to a real person today

[rainbowsky]

Hey RBS.. Wishing you a wonderful week ahead. Do you think Globalfever fansite is being managed directly by someone from GG/DD’s team. Many a times I wonder how that site able to get tickets to all of our boys events and capture such close up candid shots of GGDD unless she is part of their inner circle?

Example today - https://weibo.com/7320958826/OydEkDN0w

not sure if it’s original or edited.. from that video it looks like XZ acknowledged her words of Jiayou and bye bye

Hi Natashayishan, thanks! I hope you're well, and that you have a wonderful week too! 😊

Here's the video for those who don't have access to Weibo.

To answer this question I'm going to start by explaining a bit of background about what I know about fansites and how they function (I'm by no means an expert, but here's what I do know).

Part 1 - Fansites in General

There has been a lot of talk about fansites over the years, and some have faced accusations, criticisms, confusion, suspicions, theories both positive and negative for a very long time. I think they're largely misunderstood by a lot of fans.

For example, it's not uncommon for people to believe fansites are stalkers, or that they shamelessly profit from the unauthorized use of a star's image or footage, or that they're organizations that exist for the purpose of exploiting stars.

This isn't really how it works at all. In general, a fansite is just one fan who follows a star's career and enjoys sharing photos and videos they take of that star. Plain and simple. Some fansites involve more than one person, but most are just made up of individuals.

Yes, they sometimes make money selling photo books and other merch, but that money tends to go back into supporting the star -buying endorsement products, arranging events and giveaways, buying or upgrading equipment needed to create fansite content (cameras, computer equipment, software), paying for tickets (many of which are overpriced reseller tickets) and travel/accommodations to attend events, etc.

It might seem glamorous - and there's undeniably a glamorous aspect to it - but to me it looks very stressful, like a huge headache. These fans generally have their own lives and careers outside of fandom, so coordinating everything, waiting in lines, standing in the rain outside appearances and events, not to mention the pressure to attend events and post regular updates, and all the haters and antis they are constantly dealing with, the amount of stress and frustration they deal with must be immense.

It's a lot of work, and for this reason, fansites don't always stay fansites. Some retire as their real life interests and obligations shift. One of my favorite GGDD fansites - Midnight Dream - retired a few years ago. 😢

Fansites are an important part of any celebrity's support system. While no - they aren't part of a celebrity's team or on their payroll, they do play a huge part in helping to bring attention to a star and build buzz around them, their projects, their appearances, events and other activities.

If you want an analogy that might help it make more sense to you, just look at some of the sports fans across the globe who will follow all the matches, follow team developments, team picks, managers and training, and share all that info on blogs, podcasts or dedicated sports fan sites.

This is very similar. They're just really dedicated fans who build a following by being where we can't be, and sharing their experiences so that we can feel like we were there, too.

And they provide the fans and the stars an immense, immeasurable service IMHO, despite what we might agree or disagree with about the way fandom culture works. The content they capture and share is almost always far more intimate (generally without being invasive), and of a far higher quality than that of the professionals hired to cover these events on behalf of media agencies and management.

Fansites do get some official support from time to time. For example, there are events where fansites can get approval - almost like a press pass or a security pass - to attend and be in certain locations within or near facilities to take photographs, video, etc., but they are not hired or compensated by the star or their team.

A lot of how everything works is also largely unknown/unknowable, so it's hard to be sure of the details. There are always going to be rumors and claims. For example, there have been claims that during SDOC Yibo was allowed to invite 4 fansites to come to the finale, and of the 4, he chose 3 BXG fansites and only one solo site. I haven't seen proof of that, but the claim was making the rounds a lot at the time.

One thing we do know - he chose a fansite photo to give to Yangkai when he was courting him to join his team in season 4. (Of course, solos made a huge stink and Youku ended up editing the footage to remove the photo, but we saw what we saw).

There are other examples of GG and DD interacting with or showing acceptance of their BXG fansites. I started looking for some references and then realized it was not something I have time for or interest in. I'm not here to give a comprehensive analysis anyway, I'm just here to give a simple-ish answer to your question. If others want to discuss that in the notes, that's fine.

So, hopefully some of that background info will have answered parts of your question, and gives you more tools to evaluate things on your own moving forward.

Part 2 - Global Fever

As for Global Fever specifically, well... Global Fever is one of the most treasured BXG in the entire fandom. This dedicated fan has been following GG and DD BOTH, since they debuted. She is more than just a CP fan, she's been a supporter of their individual careers since day 1.

Yes, since back when Yibo was still the White Peony.

She became a CP fan in the natural way - by seeing her faves work together on The Untamed, by watching them interact and by following them and their careers. No, she doesn't work for their teams (they both have dedicated teams of their own, and they don't need to pay fansites who - after all - will do this stuff for free). It's just that she's recognizable to GG and DD because she's been a fixture in their lives for so many years.

And this is something solos need to get their heads around: BXG are fans too. I think there's this conceit among solos that THEY'RE GG and DD's fans and BXG are something else, but in reality (and, no doubt, in the eyes of GG and DD) BXG are their fans too.

Never could that be more apparent than when a dedicated fan like Global Fever jiejie is calling 'Zhanzhan, jiayou!' and 'byebye!' as he's boarding an elevator on the way to the stage. Of course GG recognized her and smiled at her. Of course.

[forest-hashira]

Wrapped With a Bow

HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS LEIGH!!! i hope today treats you well, and that you enjoy this fic! there's not a lot to say otherwise lol, this is the closest i could manage to get to complete pwp, it's just meant to be some smutty fun!

read on ao3 | wc: ~2.8k | cw: tengen x gender neutral afab reader (no pronouns but afab anatomy terms used, reader wears a bra), technically modern au, it's reader's bday, established relationship, the wives are not mentioned, oral sex + fingering (reader receiving) unprotected piv sex, hot missionary agenda, creampie, light/implied breeding kink, i think that's it!

Your boyfriend had been acting off all evening. He was abnormally fidgety, shifting in his seat at least two dozen times – yes, you’d counted – while the two of you were at dinner. When you asked if he was okay, though, he assured you everything was fine, nothing to worry about. So you’d let it slide, doing your best to enjoy the meal and the dessert the wait staff had brought you. “On the house,” they’d assured you with a smile, “since it’s your birthday.”

“Tengen,” you asked, looking over at him as he once again squirmed in his seat as he drove both of you home, “Are you sure you’re okay?” Your boyfriend had never been what you would call a still or subdued person, talking with his hands and being completely unabashed in the way he laughed and flirted with you at every given opportunity, but seeing how antsy he was had you starting to worry. 

“It’s fine, sweetheart,” he promised, shooting you a grin.

You weren’t entirely convinced. “You’ve been acting… weird, tonight. Something’s up.”

He let out a sigh, taking one hand off the steering wheel to give your knee a gentle squeeze. “You really don’t need to worry about me,” he said, voice a bit gentler than before. “But I can’t tell you what’s going on yet. It’ll spoil the surprise.”

“Surprise?”

Tengen glanced at you for a moment, flashing a smirk at you. “Your gift, obviously. I’m not spoiling that surprise, so you’ll just have to wait until we get home.”

Intrigued, you arched a brow at him, but he said nothing else, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to drag anything else from him. You let out a soft huff, but placed your hand over his on your knee for the rest of the ride home. 

When you arrived back home, Tengen was quick to unlock the door and usher you inside.

“Go get comfortable on the bed,” he encouraged, leaning in and kissing your cheek. “I need to check on something real quick, then I’ll be in there to give you your gift.” Before you gave him any sort of response, he was hurrying off to the bathroom.

Does he really need to pee? Is that why he’s been so weird? you wondered to yourself, shaking your head slightly at his antics. As per your boyfriend’s suggestion, you changed out of the outfit you’d worn to dinner – flattering to your figure and very nice, but not exactly comfortable for lounging around it – and into one of his t-shirts, though it was several sizes too big and practically swallowed you. Once you were comfortable, you climbed onto your bed, settling with your back against the pillows. Just as you were about to grab your phone to entertain yourself while you waited for your partner’s return, he stepped into the room.

You were a bit surprised to see him wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. He clearly hadn’t just showered, though – you’d never heard the water running, and besides that, his hair was still dry and his elegant mahogany eyeliner was still in place. You blinked dumbly for a moment as you looked at him, but before you could inquire about his appearance, he spoke.

“Ready for your gift?” he asked, eyes flashing when he realized you were wearing his clothes.

All you did was nod, unsure what to expect from him right then, but your eyes widened when he dropped the towel. Immediately, your eyes were drawn down to his groin, and your shock quickly melted into laughter. 

Between his legs sat your present: his half hard cock with a magenta ribbon the same shade as his eyes tied in a bow around the base.

“Happy birthday!” he exclaimed, a beaming grin on his face as he placed his hands on his hips. “As your gift, I am at your complete disposal for the rest of the night.”

“Is that so?” you asked curiously, looking him up and down as you tried to decide what to ask for first. “Even if I tell you to get dressed again and clean the house?”

His expression fell a bit, but he nodded. “It’s whatever you want, sweetheart. It’s your birthday.”

You couldn’t help but laugh again at his reaction. “I’m just kidding, my love,” you assured him, smiling when he instantly perked up. “What I really want is for you to take that bow off, and to fuck me raw.”

Tengen’s cock visibly hardened at your words, and you smirked to yourself, knowing you had the power to turn him on like that. He was quick to comply with your command, untying the bow and letting the ribbon drop to the floor with the towel he’d been wearing. Almost before he reached the foot of the bed, he reached forward, grabbing your ankles and using them to pull you a bit closer to him. “How do you want me, baby?”

Somehow managing not to squeak at how easily he pulled you around – his strength always blew you away, no matter how long you’d been together – you smirked up at him again. “Like this,” you said simply. “Wanna be under you and looking at you while you fuck me.”

He swore under his breath, tipping his head back for a moment. “Yeah, okay. I can do that.” Looking back down at you, he leaned in, pressing a heated kiss to lips as he climbed over you, only pulling away to give you both a chance to breathe. When he turned his attention to the pillows, grabbing one to place beneath your hips before you got any further, you shot an exaggerated pout at him.

“You’re gonna make me take my own clothes off?”

Magenta eyes instantly jumped back to yours, and he shook his head. “Of course not, my love. Just tryin’ to get everything else in place before we get carried away.” He winked at you, setting the pillow down beside you, then slid his hands up your legs beneath his shirt. A look of surprise came over his features when he didn’t encounter any underwear, instead pushing up the shirt to reveal your lower half was completely bare. “Were you not wearing underwear at dinner?” he asked, eyes wide.

You shook your head. “No, I was not,” you confirmed. “You would’ve been able to see the outline through my clothes, so I thought the outfit looked better without anything underneath.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he groaned, before shifting down to kiss your skin as more of it was revealed to him from beneath the shirt you wore. He stopped when he reached your chest, fully pulling the shirt over your head and tossing it aside before reaching beneath you and unclipping your bra in less than a second, without damaging it at all. Once the bra was tossed aside and you laid completely bare beneath him, it was his turn to smirk. “Your tits look great from this angle, y’know.”

You rolled your eyes at his words. “You think my tits look great at any angle.”

“And that means I can’t compliment them?” he asked, feigning offense.

“Nope,” you agreed with a grin. “There are better things you can use your mouth for.”

“There sure are,” he agreed, then trailed kisses down your torso until he was between your legs, settling down as if he were about to eat his favorite dessert in the world. Which, if you were to ask him, he would probably say it was his favorite “dessert.” He was a little insufferable like that.

You watched as his gaze dropped to your pussy, his eyes dilating noticeably at the sight. You didn’t protest as he parted your thighs to give himself a bit more space, though when he set your knees on his shoulders and buried his face between your legs, taking a deep breath of your scent, you couldn’t help but laugh a bit. 

Before you could tease him for being so eager, his tongue was running up through your folds, gathering the arousal that had begun to drip from your hole. He let out a moan at the taste of you, pressing in closer, eager to have more of you. Wrapping his arms around your thighs, he let himself really get carried away, working his tongue into you with practiced ease, his nose bumping your clit with every small movement of his head. 

It wasn’t long before you were a moaning mess, fingers tangled in his hair and tugging at the platinum strands. “Tengen,” you whimpered, struggling to keep your head up enough to look at him. 

His eyes fluttered open at the sound of his name, and though his movements slowed a bit, he didn’t stop entirely. He looked up at you through his lashes, waiting patiently for whatever it was you needed to say to him.

“Need more,” you managed, rocking your hips up into his face. “Please?”

Never one to deny you anything, Tengen complied, releasing one of your thighs from his hold. He pulled his mouth away from you for a moment, albeit hesitantly, before pressing one thick finger into you. 

A small breath escaped you at the feeling, almost relieved to have gotten what you asked for, but then your boyfriend wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked, and your head slammed back into the pillow. “Oh, fuck!” you cried out, squirming in his hold as he continued his actions. 

Soon enough, he was pressing a second finger in alongside the first, scissoring them and pressing them into your sweet spot. He kept you pinned in place with the arm still wrapped around your thigh, and though you couldn’t see his face, you could feel his gaze burning into you. 

Tightening your grip on his hair, nails scratching at his scalp, you pulled him closer, rocking your hips to meet his movements. You could feel a familiar coil tightening in your gut, and you were eager to find the release you knew was coming. “I’m close,” you told him, lifting your head once again to meet his gaze. 

His eyes flashed at your words, and he redoubled his efforts, tracing patterns over your clit with his tongue at an almost frantic pace and adding a third finger to the mix, curling them expertly into the spot he knew would bring you to pure bliss.

The added stretch was enough to have your eyes rolling back in your head, but the delicious pressure to your sweet spot was what finally tipped you over the edge. Your back arched off the bed from the pleasure, and your thighs closed tight around his head as you came. A moan so loud you could barely believe it came from your body tore itself from your throat, and it was several long moments before you came back to yourself, panting heavily as you tried to catch your breath. “God,” you breathed, finally releasing your boyfriend from your vice-like grip. “That was amazing.”

“Tengen is fine,” the man teased, grinning at you as he crawled over your body once again. “And I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, but we’re not done yet.”

His joke had you rolling your eyes, and you swatted his shoulder as you huffed out a laugh. “I’m never complimenting you again, it all goes straight to your head.”

He laughed at your words, leaning down and capturing your lips in a kiss before giving any sort of response. “I bet you’ll rethink that ‘no compliments’ decision here in a minute.”

Arching a brow, you retorted, “Yeah? Then you better get to work making me regret it.”

“Gladly.”

He rocked his hips against you for a moment, teasing you a bit longer before he adjusted and finally gave you what you wanted. The air was punched from your lungs as he pressed into you, and even though he’d prepped you there was still a little bit of a stretch. You watched as his eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of you around him, and when he finally bottomed out, he moaned with relief.

There was a pause as he gave you both a moment to adjust to the feeling, and just before you could squirm or otherwise urge him to keep going, Tengen opened his eyes again, his gaze full of desire, and started to move his hips. His pace was slow for a moment, but it wasn’t long before he found his rhythm.

You couldn’t help the little gasps and whimpers you let out with practically every thrust, arching into him as much as you could, one hand coming up to grip his bicep, the other tugging at the sheets. Apparently needing more contact as badly as you did, he lowered himself further onto you, supporting his weight on his elbows rather than his hands. Though nothing about the angle of his thrusts really changed, having more of his skin touching yours sent sparks of pleasure throughout your whole body, and you were quick to steal another kiss from him. 

Tengen eagerly reciprocated, and wasted no time invading your mouth with his tongue, desperate to consume as much of you as he could. When he finally had to pull away to breathe, you whined, despite the fact that you were also in need of oxygen. He didn’t go far though, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses across your jaw, pausing long enough to graze his teeth on a sensitive spot behind your ear, before continuing his path down your throat; the only thing that stopped him from going further down your body again was the fact that he would’ve had to stop fucking you. Instead he satisfied himself with leaving marks along your collarbone and teasing your nipple with his right hand.

The touch drew a loud moan from you, and if you hadn’t been so consumed with pleasure you would’ve been annoyed by the smug smirk you could feel him pressing into your skin. You wrapped your legs around his waist, holding him as close to you as you could. It limited his range of motion a bit, but he switched from heavy thrusts to impassioned rolls of his hips without much change to his rhythm.

The slight change in angle had the head of his cock pressing into your sweet spot almost relentlessly, and now there was the added stimulation of his pubic bone grinding into your clit with every roll of his hips. You attempted to kiss him again, but you just wound up moaning and panting against each other’s mouths, pleasure washing over you in waves. Releasing his bicep from your grip, you once again tangled your fingers in his hair, the silvery strands growing damp with sweat. Your other hand relented its death grip on the sheets, instead resting on his back and pressing him even closer. You made an attempt to tell him how good you felt, how you were close to the edge again, but it just sounded like a jumbled, moaning mess in your own ears. 

He seemed to understand well enough, because he pressed his forehead to yours as he spoke. “‘M close too,” he panted, his movements becoming a bit more frantic, nearly desperate to get you both to that peak again. He made no move to pull out, but you knew him well enough to know he was considering it, since he hadn’t worn a condom. 

You weren’t about to have that, though. Tightening your legs around him once again and tugging at his hair, you managed to demand, “Don’t you dare pull out.” 

He swore at your words, his hips stuttering for a moment before he picked up the pace again, his movements uncoordinated even as you rocked your hips up to meet him over and over again. With a particularly harsh tug at your nipple and a desperate moan of your name, he came. You tumbled over that peak right after him, the hot feeling of his cum filling you pulling a silent scream from your lips as you clawed at his back. 

With the way you were still wrapped around him, it was impossible for him not to collapse on top of you, but you didn’t mind; having his weight pressing you into the bed was kind of nice, actually. A few minutes passed without either of you speaking, both of you working to catch your breath, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence by any means. As you laid there, you allowed your eyes to flutter shut, a faint smile on your lips, and you slowly relaxed your hold on your partner. You lightly scratched his scalp with your fingernails, and you could’ve sworn you heard him start purring at the feeling.

“My love?” Tengen mumbled, bumping his nose lightly against yours.

Slowly, you opened your eyes again to look up at him. “Yes?”

“Happy birthday.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that tumbled from your lips, the attempted kiss made pointless from how much you were both smiling.

once again, happy birthday friend! i love you and i am so so so glad that we've become so close over the last year i love you and i hope you have a great day today 💜

taglist: @mitsuristoleme @redlikerozez @oceaneyesinla @pixelcafe-network @stuckinthewrongworld

@entirelysein-e @sugurei @whatthefucksatan @roselleviennesstuff @dr-runs-with-scissors

@teddybeartoji

dividers by adornedwithlight

join my taglist!

[earthnashes]

Heyooooo ya'll! Figured it'd be a good idea to give a quick lil update on what I'm up to since it's been a while since I just talked on here.

If you don't wanna read here's the TL;DR:

-Fanart and headcanon AU projects in indefinite hiatus. This tumblr will host my commissioned art, original art/OC projects, and occasional tomfoolery of my thoughts, interests, and updates on my Powerlifting venture.

The full update under the break! :)

---- I'm doing relatively good! Cool news: I will be competing in my first powerlifting meet this year! It's been made official as of two months ago, and I've been hard at work with training and prep for the meet. I have my eye on making the state record for the Benchpress in my weightclass and I think I have real shot at it, so I'm gonna make the attempt. Wish me luck! ;w;

Not so good news: Rent's going up. Who's isn't, right? Gonna be putting a serious effort on looking for a new place (I'm reeaaallly gunning for a house) because SHEEEEEEEEEEEESH that spike in price for the exact same shit? Nah man. Likely will get rough a few times over the next few months but I'm confident I'll figure things out!

Now, the crux of why the update: I figured it was probably high time to mention the complete lack of fanart and headcanons 'round here, especially because that's what helped me find all of you and vice versa.

I'll be honest; I am no longer burnt out on creating art, but I've found the interest to continue any of my AU fanprojects is still missing, so as of right now they are on an indefinite hiatus. I apologize to everyone who followed me for the Super Mario, the LoZ stuff, anything and everything I was working on before the burnout! ;w;

I'm still working on projects, they're just completely original ones! I've been having so much fun with them and I'm pretty happy with them; here's a quick preview of each:

One is a slowburn fantasy where a god becomes trapped in the mortal realm while on a mission, but ends up compromising said mission when she begins to believe everything she knew about mortals is a lie.

The second project is an anthro mystery/thriller about a doe who knows her husband was murdered, but no one else believes her. As she works to find his killer herself, the last thing she expects is falling in love.

The third is the only fanproject I have going and ya'll know of it: Melon's Adventure! Follow Melon as he faces dangers and villains on his quest to return baby Mario to his family. A retelling of Yoshi's Island with twists and a personal flair!

---

But ye! I wanna say thank you all so much for your interest and engagement with my fanart work; regardless of everything I had an absolute great time working on them, and you all made them all the more enjoyable. It may take a little bit before I start posting them, but I hope you stick around for the original/OC stuff and enjoy what I've got in store! ;w;

Feel free to ask questions or make comments, I'll be around to respond starting today. Until then keep them peepers open for more art! :)

[ikilledyvette]

(Part II of my seriously condensed 9-1-1 fic is here! Hope people enjoy, even though it's all a bit rushed!)

Part I

Sunday afternoon, Father’s Day. It’s always a hard day for Bobby, but usually, working helps him get through it. Today has been ... worse, and not just for him. Bobby finds Eddie on the couch, staring blankly into nothing. Bobby sits down beside him, a silent invitation to talk. Eddie doesn’t always take him up on it.

Today, Eddie says, “He hasn’t called,” and Bobby reminds him the day isn’t over yet. Eddie asks, “What if he doesn’t call?” and Bobby reminds him about tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. 

“Every day you’re both alive is another chance to make things right,” Bobby says. “Don’t give up on tomorrow just yet, Eddie.”

Buck comes by then, and Eddie takes off to give the two some space. Buck says, “So, I had dinner with my parents the other night.” Bobby asks how it went, and Buck says, “Yeah, not great. They had, uh. A lot to say about me, you know. Going through a gay phase, or something. Wanting attention. Getting too old for, I don’t know. Making stuff up, I guess.”

Bobby nods. Cautiously, he says, “Sounds to me like they still don’t know you very well.”

Buck huffs a quiet laugh. “Yeah. Thing is, everything they said ... it’s all stuff I’ve thought too, you know? Like, I’ve always done stupid things to get people’s attention. Their attention, Tommy’s. Yours. And if ... if what I’m feeling, who I am, is ... is real ... how could I have not known before, right? And I, I do know how I feel about Tommy—I like him so much, Bobby, you don’t even know—”

Bobby knows. Everyone knows. Buck’s joy is not subtle; it shines through him, a thing to behold.

“—but sometimes I still—” Buck breaks off and sighs. “Well, maybe that’s why I reacted so badly last night. Cause sometimes, I worry they’re right.”

“They’re not,” Bobby says immediately.

“How do you know that?”

And Bobby hesitates, not sure Buck is going to want to hear this right now. But still, he says, “Because I know you, kid.”

“Yeah,” Buck says, smiling a little. “You do. Bobby, I’m. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I do. Cause that night we talked about Tommy? You didn’t ask me to, to explain myself, or suggest maybe I wasn’t thinking things through. You didn’t need me to prove anything. You just accepted it, Tommy and me. You accepted me.” Buck shakes his head. “I told this to Maddie once, but sometimes it’s easier to lash out at the person you know is always going to forgive you. My parents, that’s not them, never will be. But you, uh. You’re safe.”

Bobby swallows a little at that. He wants to be that person for Buck—but Bobby know he isn’t, can’t be. He’s the reason his family is dead; he’s the reason so many people are dead. 

“I know I hurt you,” Bobby says. “If I hadn’t left the way I did, Gerrard would never have been captain, and—”

“You think this is about Gerrard? Maybe you don’t know me as well as you thought.” But Buck’s voice is teasing, lessening the sting. “Yeah, I mean, working under Gerrard was ... rough, for a lot reasons. But that’s not ... Hen was the one mad at you for that.”

Bobby is aware. Hen had forgiven him pretty quickly, but her attitude towards Bobby on his first day back had been ... cool, to say the least. Bobby understands why, had prepared himself for Hen’s anger, potentially Chimney’s, too. They both went through a lot, working under Gerrard the first time around. Bobby had expected them to be upset.

He’s not sure why he hadn’t expected Buck to be.

“I’m not mad about Gerrard,” Buck tells him. “I’m mad that you lied. You—you were saying goodbye all day, only we didn’t know, I didn’t know. And you just—you were just going to leave?”

“I didn’t want—”

“You didn’t want us to change your mind,” Buck says, now visibly upset. “You—you said goodbye, Bobby. I didn’t realize it then, what you were doing, but—if you were gone, if you left, and I could have done something to stop it, stop you from, from—"

And Bobby realizes suddenly that Buck isn’t just talking about Bobby quitting.

“Hey,” Bobby says. “Listen. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

“For how long?” Buck asks, and it’s not mockery this time. It’s pleading. Anxious. Young. For as much Buck has been through, for as much progress he’s made over the last seven years, Bobby is struck every now and then by how young Buck still is.

“That’s not up to me,” Bobby says and points up, skyward, at the man upstairs. “And listen, Buck, I won’t deny I was ... I was in a pretty dark place a couple of months ago. I should’ve been more honest about that. But I’m here, and I mean to stay here as long as I can. Okay? I’m not going anywhere without a fight, I promise.”

Buck inhales, a deep, shuddery breath, and Bobby hugs him, and Buck hugs Bobby back. 

“I’m sorry,” Buck says again. “I think, maybe. I think I’ve just been really scared.”

Bobby hugs him a little tighter and says, “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, kid.”

Footsteps on the stairs interrupt them a few minutes later. “Not to break up this long overdue moment,” Chimney says, “but Buck, you’ve got another visitor.”

Buck turns with a little dread, expecting his parents and not sure he’s ready to face them just yet—but it’s Maddie. This time, it’s Bobby and Chimney who disappear downstairs to give the Buckley siblings some space.

Maddie tells Buck that their parents are flying home. “I told them to go,” she says. “And not to come back.”

“Chimney told you,” Buck realizes, resigned and more than a little annoyed.

“Of course, he did,” Maddie says. She’s slightly exasperated but mostly worried. “Why didn’t you?” 

She thinks he’ll say something about not wanting to ruin Maddie’s relationship with their parents or Jee Yun’s relationships with her grandparents, and Buck does lead with that. But mostly, Buck’s ashamed of how he petty it was, bringing up Daniel. “I didn’t want you to think that I, I resented him,” he says. “I really don’t, Maddie. He was just a kid, and he never got the chance to grow up and, and I wish I could’ve given him that chance. I wish I could’ve met the person he would’ve become.”

“I know,” Maddie tells him, and reminds him that it’s not his fault; it was never his responsibility to save Daniel. Buck says he doesn’t blame their mom for slapping him after what he said, and Maddie, steely, says, “Well, I do. For that, and also for how they talked to you—no, it’s not okay. What if Jee grows up and realizes she likes both boys and girls someday? I don't want Mom talking to her like that. Do you?"

Buck recoils a little, and Maddie nods. “Would you be okay if Mom ever hit Jee Yun?” she asks. “Even if she said something terrible? Even if she deserved it?”

“She could never deserve it,” Buck says, knowing what Maddie’s doing but unable to keep quiet, not when his sister looks so upset, not with the ghost of Doug so heavy in the air. He hates to think of how many times Doug must have told Maddie that she was to blame for everything he did to her. “But Maddie, I don’t think Mom or Dad would ever—”

“Maybe not,” Maddie says, “but that doesn’t make them safe. They screw up, and they always feel bad about it, but they never really apologize. They never put in the work. They just ... make excuses and expect that we’ll forgive them, but I think I’m done with that now. I’m done with relationships where it’s only my responsibility to try harder, to smooth things over, to say the right thing, to always forgive. Maybe someday, if Mom and Dad actually work on themselves, but for right now ..." Maddie shakes her head. "Enough is enough.”

Buck gets that, he does. But he admits he isn’t sure he’s ready to cut off his parents yet, isn’t sure he wants too. He still wants to keep trying, and Maddie says that’s okay. What matters is, they still have each other. And she won’t try to change his mind if he doesn’t try to change hers.

Buck offers her a pinky swear. Maddie smiles and hooks her finger around his.

*

Meanwhile, downstairs, a phone rings.

“Christopher?” Eddie says, and takes a few steps, turning away from everyone. 

It is Christopher. He calls to wish his dad a happy Father’s Day, but also to say he loves him, and while he’s not quite ready to come home yet, he still wants to come home, and maybe soon.

“I miss you,” Christopher tells him. “I don’t want to miss you anymore. But you have to stop lying to me.”

“I can do that,” Eddie promises.

“And go back to therapy.”

Eddie laughs. “Already on top of that one, bud. Maybe ... we could go together, sometime, when you come home?”

“Yeah,” Christopher says. “I’d like that. I love you, Dad.”

“Love you too, Chris,” Eddie says. He hangs up, takes a breath before turning around, and announces, “Christopher called!" as if everyone—including Maddie and Buck, leaning over the balcony—weren’t badly pretending not to eavesdrop.

Everyone cheers and rushes Eddie. 

“What did I tell you?” Bobby asks him. “What did I tell you?” Hen asks, too, and Eddie says, “Yeah, yeah,” to both of them, with wet eyes and a shaky, hopeful smile.

“This calls for champagne!” Chimney announces. “But since we’re all on duty ... cheap coffee and leftover Ding Dong, Gerrard is Gone cake it is!”

—All in all, it’s the best Father’s Day the 118 has had in a long, long time. 

(And that's it! Apologies, fellow Tommy fans, that he didn’t make it into Part 2—but you know. If Tommy’s at the fire house, who’s flying the plane? Actually, Tommy’s too busy babysitting Jee Yun, and—to both Buck and Chimney’s horror—introducing her to all the worst Star Wars movies. She loves them.)

Tag List @lavenderleahy @v88sy

[goatcheesecak3]

Comfort

Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x gn!reader

Fic type: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, caregiver reader

Warnings: brief mentions of gun violence, ptsd

Summary: Adam has been suffering from panic attacks since news of another jigsaw attack hits the news, and needs comforting.

A/n: hello! I've been looking forward to writing more about Adam's soft side, so i hope you enjoy! Remember requests are open, and I'd love to hear feedback! Knowing that people enjoy the things I write really helps motivate me to write more <3

Adam had been having a real rough time as of late. Usually, he was quite good at not letting his past trauma get to him, and when the news broke that the jigsaw killer,  John kramer, and his right hand man, Amanda Young, were found dead, he really felt as though his nightmare was over. But news had recently broke that another one of John's sick "games" had taken place. Five people kidnapped and put through torment, only two of whom had lived. Maybe it was another "apprentice" as the police had called them. Or perhaps a copycat? It wasn't so far fetched, jigsaw had accumulated a somewhat cult-like fan base. Most of them were just people with morbid curiosity, they followed the case a little too obsessively but swore they disapproved of John's actions, although a few nutcases had popped up all over the city, thinking of John as some kind of pied piper, cleaning the city of the people they deemed unworthy. One of whom was Adam's ex best friend, Scott Tibbs. In the time that Adam was missing, Scott had completely lost it. He never was the most stable person but this was crazy, he was jealous of the horrific ordeal that Adam went through, he saw it as some kind of rebirth, he thought John was a genius. It made Adam feel sick to know that there were others out there who shared the same views as the evil fuck who ruined his life.

On a good day, Adam could mask his fear with anger, but today was not one of those days.

"Adam, do you want a cup of tea before bed?" You called from the kitchen into the bathroom where Adam was just stepping out of the shower.

"Yeah, that'd be great babe" he called back.

So far, it was a normal night (or about as normal as a night can be when talks of your boyfriend's attempted killer making a return are all over the news). Normalcy was something both of you had strived to keep, it was important not to let Adam slip back into his reclusive ways. He was doing good, but you knew any small thing could set him back, so you kept a close and caring eye on him.

"Here," you smiled, entering the bedroom and handing a mug to a rather tired looking Adam. He looked adorable in his loose tshirt and boxers, his thick black hair still damp and ruffled from a futile attempt at towel drying it.

Adam kissed your cheek and held your waist- a little tighter than he usually did. He was scared. He did a good job of hiding it, but the signs were there, that fear was bubbling up just below the surface.

"You wanna watch a movie tonight? I like the idea of getting all cosy with a movie in bed" you suggested, climbing under the duvet and patting the spot beside you. You wanted to distract Adam from his own thoughts as much as you could, and a movie was a good place to start.

"Sounds good" he smiled softly, knowing your intentions. He gently placed his tea down on the bedside table, and clambered into bed, snuggling up to you.

After flipping through the channels for a little while, the two of you found a channel that played exclusively dogshit, straight to TV romcoms.

Finding, watching and poking fun at the worst movies possible was a particular favourite past time for the two of you, so when your disparaging comment on how cheesy the protagonist was, was only met with a half hearted chuckle, you knew Adam's mind was elsewhere.

That fear was growing, you could practically feel it radiating out of Adam's chest, a palpable sense of anxiety emitted from the poor man, all while he tried his best to seem calm.

That was when a from somewhere outside, a car backfired. That was it for Adam, before you could even process where the two loud bangs had come from, he had burst into floods of tears. He was blubbering, holding his hands over his ears and hunched forward, as though trying to make himself as small as possible. His cries were the most heartwrenching sound you'd ever heard, they weren't that of a grown man, no, in this moment Adam was no more than a frightened little boy. He was so small and helpless, so afraid and so tiny. He hugged his legs to his chest tightly as his eyes rapidly scanned the room before fixating on the bedroom door.

Of course, ever since the bathroom Adam had associated loud bangs with gunshots, with a madman running into the room with the intent to kill. In his head he was back there.

"Sweetheart, deep breaths" you whispered, ever so gently placing a hand on his back and rubbing in slow circular motions.

Adam gasped for air between sobs, gripping onto the duvet so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

"Shhhhh, that's it honey, just catch your breath"

You spoke softly, not wanting anything else to alarm him.

Adam's breathing had slowed, but the tears still poured down his face and the wails still rung out from his mouth. You pulled him into an embrace and he collapsed into you. You took this opportunity to carefully guide him into a laying down position, so that he was cuddled up to your chest while you wrapped your arms around him. Your poor, sweet baby, you'd do anything to protect him.

"I know honeybun, it's scary isn't it? But you're so brave, who's my brave boy, hm?" You cooed, stroking his hair and letting some much needed praise rain down on him.

"I am.." Adam sniffled, taking in deep gulps of air and feeling immensely safer now that he was starting to remember where he really was.

"That's right, baby! You're the bravest boy in the world" you smiled, hoping your warm and nurturing tone would bring him some sort of comfort.

"Do you want your kitty?" You asked.

'Kitty' was Adam's childhood stuffed animal, he didn't like to sleep with it every night, but you kept it in a box right under the bed in case he ever needed it.

In that box was an array of things that helped Adam with his ptsd, panic attacks and insomnia. Noise cancelling headphones, eye masks, stress balls, snacks, even activity books. But none of them ever held a candle to kitty, a raggedy black toy cat with a big bald patch on it's head from years of nuzzling from Adam.

You felt around under the bed for a few seconds until you found the box and pulled it out, taking off the lid and handing Adam his kitty. Adam took it and held it to his face, burying his nose in it's head and closing his eyes.

"Do you want anything else, sweetpea?" You asked, offering the box to him.

Adam didn't speak, he never did when he got like this, instead he pointed at a packet of animal crackers.

You couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, he looked adorable, and the fact that he was hungry was a good sign.

"Alright my love, crackers it is" you said, opening up the packet for him and handing them over.

Adam took one out and began to nibble on it slowly, he liked to chew things when he was anxious. Sometimes it was his shirt sleeves or fingernails that got the brunt of it, so you were trying to help him find alternatives.

You turned to look at Adam, he had stopped crying but his eyes were still wet, and his face tear stained. He sniffled quietly, his eyes vacant and his hands trembling as they clutched onto his teddy. You could tell exactly how he was feeling, still frightened but mostly embarrassed. He hated feeling so pathetic, being reduced to a snivelling wreck, trembling like a lost puppy. Reassurance was imperative to make sure Adam felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable, you didn't want him to start bottling things up again out of shame. You wiped his eyes dry with your thumb, and cradled his chin so that he was looking at you.

"It's alright, baby. You're safe," you whispered.

Adam snuggled up to you, burying his face in your chest and breathing you in, slowly and calmly until he had stopped shaking. He was starting to feel a lot better.

"Y/n?" He said, so softly that you almost didn't hear him.

"What is it, my sweet?"

"Can we put alien on?"

Alien was Adam's favourite film of all time, not your conventional comfort film, but Adam associated it with fond memories of being a young boy. One of his friends had stolen it from their older brother, and Adam and all his boyhood chums had watched it together at a sleepover. To this day, whenever Adam watched that film he could practically smell microwaveable popcorn, taste cans of flat cola, hear raucous laughter and feel the safety of being surrounded by people that loved him. He didn't have the best upbringing, and his family weren't so kind to him, so this particular night with all his buddies in a house far from his own was one of the few comforting memories from his youth.

You'd put the dvd in the player and turned on a few lamps, just so the extra light kept Adam aware of his surroundings, and climbed back under the covers where Adam, having finished his crackers and tea, shuffled over to you and rested his head on your chest.

He clung onto his kitty, and stared at the TV, his eyelids very slowly becoming droopy.

"Y/n?" He mumbled, almost out cold

"Yes, hun?"

"Kitty says thank you for looking after us"

You could hear the smile in his voice

"Well, tell kitty I'm always happy to look after both of you" You chuckled, kissing the top of Adam's head and giving him a squeeze.

He hummed sleepily and began to drift off, dreaming of cats, aliens, and best of all,  you.

[toherlover]

that feeling when you have a super lucid dream where youre deeply in love and time  slows  to feel like a lifetime and the light is soft and words are poems and silence is kind and welcome and then you wake up and youre alone and its cold and the silence is suddenly a stab but you still feel their touch and hear their words with this weird sense of loss for something that you never had

[icewindandboringhorror]

I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol

[badolmen]

Wrote out a big long phone call rant to have with my mother later because as much as I hate it she is my closest irl spiritual confidant 👍 here’s hoping her response to ‘hey I’ve been spiritually depressed and disconnected for like 8 months and for some reason these last two weeks advocating for Palestine has me feeling alive and burning with divine passion and love in a way I’ve never felt before in my life’ isn’t like. ‘Talk to your psyche abt your meds hun’

[bibleofficial]

need you to know i genuinely enjoy your blog - part of what makes it great is that its clear that you go outside and party and fuck!! so many people in this website just don’t fuck 🤧

omg !!! ❤️❤️❤️ don’t replicate my sin u will go to hell

[sirpeppersto]

me every time i remember we're getting married

[transannabeth]

they are 100% planning to transfer gatsby to bway if that makes u feel better

PROMISE?

i don't like... look up shows anymore so i don't see anything and since they have Zero social media presence i just didn't know. i especially didn't know since there's already a gatsby on broadway and i wasn't sure if they were willing to risk that yet given i have no idea how that show is doing. but god i hope so!! i will see it again. i'll move to nyc for a month and see it daily. this is dramatic. i'm also not sure if i'm kidding.

[cherrymoonvol6]

.

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[corpsoir]

really exhausted after thisd week already and its barely thursday

[burinazar]

I was thinking “haha it’s so weird and silly i got soOOO into this one very specific part/arc/related minor-ish character group of a franchise, i haven’t done that before have i? this is a new weirdness for me isn’t it?”

and then suddenly vividly remembered my inconvenient and untenable and frankly quite extreme obsession with the romulan star empire all throughout middle school, with such force and clarity that i had to put a hand to my face

[tardis--dreams]

To summarize today's day in university:

- got diagnosed with social phobia by a class mate (bitch?!)

- heard a Very cool lecture/presentation by a guest lecturer

- our lecturer said she kinda liked our idea for our presentation

- had lunch with friends in the uni canteen which was nice but evoked some existential despair