#and i honestly don’t know why i’m so afraid of groupchats | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

magireco · 4 years ago

Note

Would love to hear more thoughts on how these girls have understandable teenage motivations (A+ tag analysis by the way)

1. Thank you!!!!!!

2. ALRIGHT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (shuffles my papers). i’ve gone off about homura’s motivations in depth before but i think it was only in dms/groupchats? anyways i’ll go in order with All the girls bc i think about this all the time as a teenager who grew up mentally ill and had their perceptions skewed because of it, and also i don’t think it’s talked about nearly enough for the others, at least on my blog... so, buckle up!!! this is REALLY LONG!!!!

3. i tried writing like, an individual thing for every member of the quintet all together in this one ask, but i ended up talking a little too much about homura and now i’m going to split up all the different analysis stuff for each character into the reblogs and work on it every so often! you’re free to kinda skim of course because i really did write a whole novel but here we go!! read under the cut. :3 this is literally essay length btw. i did NOT expect it to get this long but if you want to read it all i’d recommend it but i don’t expect most people to

First: Homura Akemi

okay so i’m going to kind of summarize everything but from the perspective of empathizing with her so if you don’t want to reread a whole recap you can skip to the ending few paragraphs

Summary

first of all, in episode 10, homura’s past is explained for the viewer. she was a shy, unsure girl who had been bedridden for a long time. she was clearly unsocialized, not to mention she went to a catholic school and those can be brutal, esp in japan... that’s all we know about her in that episode, but it’s revealed in one of the drama cds that she was bullied as a child(& further at mitakihara middle), her parents never were mentioned ever (i assume them to either be dead or neglectful, considering she lives alone and unchecked), and in magia record, homura says to natsuki that she’s never had friends before, she hasn’t been on vacation before until the beachside bonds event, hasn’t ever celebrated valentine’s day, has never celebrated new years, etc...

clearly, she’s missed out on a lot not only because of her sickness and hospitalization, but because of her isolation as a child at school. judging by her demeanor and the way she reacts when madoka comes up to her without being asked to, something like that had never happened to her before. it’s clear to me that madoka was many of homura’s “first’s”, her first friend, the first person who reached out to her, the first person to compliment her name honestly(validating her, disproving her dislike of her name), the first person to regard her so kindly rather than judging her based off of her appearance and demeanor (like other students had apparently done, this is also shown when the other students at mitakihara middle make fun of her for being tired after only being able to run one lap). AND, madoka (and mami, but homura knew madoka better at that time) saved her life, even though homura was so willing to die, just in that moment... i’d assume it made homura feel like someone believed in her even when she was at her worst. it’s really clear by the glimmer in her eyes that these are nice people that made her feel happy and welcome... and then walpurgisnacht came. she didn’t know much about magical girls and just believed in madoka and mami to be able to defeat the witch because she saw them as strong and saw the witch as defeatable, despite its size. and then mami died, right in front of her and madoka...

this kinda seems headcanon-y when i phrase it this way but it’s practically proven in her actions but i really think homura is scared to be abandoned, especially by someone who was as overtly kind and nonjudgemental to her as madoka... it’s in the way she cries her name and says “don’t go” before madoka runs away to fight walpurgisnacht. OH ALSO, i need to address this one thing really quick because people like to assume that homura didn’t care about mami from the beginning and only liked madoka. it’s not that she wasn’t sad when mami died, she was clearly terrified and didn’t want the same to happen to madoka, also mami LITERALLY WASN’T IN HER CLASS OR HER GRADE so i assume she spent most of her time with madoka considering they were in the same grade and class and probably shared most of their periods with each other... but also, once again, mami is older than both of them and homura probably saw her as more of a mentor/teacher that she needed to impress rather than madoka who was more on her level, i guess?

anyways, moving on... homura had to see madoka die (& experience the crushing guilt she felt for “letting madoka go” even though there was nothing she could’ve done) and literally says “i’d rather you had lived than saved someone like me” ... her self worth is below zero. she makes her wish to be strong enough to protect madoka(because she sees madoka, her first friend, who saved her life which she felt had no worth, as so strong and noble) which causes her to go back in time, etc. etc., you know the deal. okay before i move on to talk a little more abt the timelines and the personality change i’m going to address why it’s reasonable that she’d be attached to madoka.

i mentioned before that homura said herself that she had never had a friend before. just like, put yourself into her shoes for a second. this girl has no idea how to make friends; it was never taught to her. it’s literally rational that she’d get attached to her first ever friendship. it’s not “normal” the way she views madoka, but how could it be? this is her first time having a friend, she’s afraid of being abandoned by her, but she’s had to see her die over and over again anyway. she doesn’t want to lose madoka. even if she doesn’t go about it in the right way, there’s no way she would’ve actually known how to Do relationships. no one taught her. i think that needs to be empathized with more...

i kinda feel like i need to summarize all this just bc if i word it right it kinda reminds you & puts into perspective just how terrible and scary all of this was.

anyway Again, i would skip straight to the end of timeline 3 (where a New Flavor of trauma is given to homura) but i need to first address timeline 2 for a second. it was homura’s first time repeating the timeline, she trained with madoka and mami again, she was still hopeful despite what happened, etc. kinda just bonding further with madoka Again... and then it’s at the end of this timeline that she watches madoka turn into a witch, just in front of her very eyes... and realizes the true fate of magical girls. when she resets the timeline again, it’s up to her to start anew and break the truth to the group when she sees them again. when she tries telling the truth, sayaka immediately shoves this aside, claiming homura was just trying to split everyone up. it’s clear that that hurts homura. (also the little shinies in her eyes were wavering which is anime-code for sad) her feelings were immediately disregarded by sayaka and she couldn’t defend herself, but madoka did for her, and mami tried to diffuse the situation.

after they all find out homura was right when sayaka turns into a witch, mami kills kyoko and ties up homura in her ribbons and aims a gun at her, and this, rightfully, ignited a fear within homura... madoka is forced to kill mami in order to save homura, leaving only the two of them to fight together. then, when walpurgisnacht comes that time, The Promise is made... madoka tells homura to go back in time and save her from becoming a witch (because she doesn’t want to curse the world that way, she still sees beauty in it) and homura agrees, saying she’ll never stop until she saves madoka, and then... homura has to mercy kill madoka before she becomes a witch. she cries loudly and shoots madoka’s soul gem... it’s literally so heartwrenching and (usually) brings the viewer to tears, or puts something into perspective for them...

then we assume the personality change happens in the timeline right after. this personality change causes a lot of discourse because sometimes it’s seen as kind of irrational, but personally, i think even moemura had at least SOME resent for the world around her considering what she’d been through. it’s madoka’s repeated deaths that finally push her over that edge. i could get further into the coolmura arc but that’d take a WHILE, so i’ll just kind of explain something briefly though -- why homura ended up becoming even MORE focused on madoka. and i’m also going to debunk the claim that homura doesn’t care about her other friends as fast as i can before moving on.

also, ONE LAST side tangent, for those that think homura really did do a 360 degree personality turn are wrong. it’s shown explicitly in homulilly’s labyrinth that there’s this... “core” homura, a shadowy purple silhouette with braids. every time the series depicts homura’s internal self, it’s always glasses+braids, symbolizing her “child” self, who she truly is. she never stopped being that person. she doesn’t want to kill. ...but i can get into that in a rebellion analysis later! this is also shown in wraith arc bc the person inside her soul gem has glasses+braids. anyway let’s get to the next part i’m going to rant about

Homura’s Love for Madoka, but Otherwise Apathy

homura has seen many different, yet all similar, versions of her friends. the first claim i’m going to talk about which i saw brought up quite a few times before is in regards to homura and mami. first of all, homura absolutely still cares for mami, and not just in the “i only care about your life if it affects madoka’s” way. one part that always gets me is when mami ties her up in the series timeline after homura frantically warns her that this witch isn’t normal, to which mami IMMEDIATELY brushes this off, without even giving homura a chance. then, when mami’s ribbons fade away, homura looks horrified and just goes “oh no...” and it’s kind of obvious to me that it was in response to mami’s death rather than madoka’s reaction. this is arguably up for debate i guess because i’ve seen different takes on that reaction and it’s ambiguous, i guess? but i’m about to get into something extremely similar and that’s the sayaka situation, where madoka throws sayaka’s soul gem onto a moving car. homura gasps and immediately pauses time and disappears, running in literal open traffic and climbing on top of a moving car to retrieve sayaka’s soul gem. one could argue that this is ALSO only just because homura wants to save madoka (and kyoko) the fear, but don’t you think her expression would be different? if homura truly didn’t care for sayaka’s wellbeing, wouldn’t she be making an expression more similar to like, “oh, this shit again...” instead of the frantic one she was making in the scene? this kind of thing Also happens when kyoko asks homura to leave while kyoko’s about to sacrifice herself in oktavia’s labyrinth, and homura looks up sadly at kyoko and then back down at madoka, and once she knew kyoko was dead, she just quietly said “kyoko...” to herself. she usually refers to them as [last name, first name], but she dropped that during that moment... it otherwise sounds like a bare minimum thing to do, but keep in mind the timeline we’re shown in the series is implied to be like, the 110th timeline, i think? like, this is the last timeline, she’s worn down, but she still does have empathy -- or at least sympathy -- for the others. she still loves them.

homura promised to be madoka’s protector, she dedicated her life to her, and also she doesn’t have a choice not to dedicate her life to her anymore, even though that’s not fair to her... homura is in a really hopeless situation and madoka is her hope, and madoka is the one that judges her the least out of the quintet (like saying “i’m sure homura is good” to herself) upon first impression. also okay i mentioned this already in my last post (which you saw) but i’m going to bring it up one more time, homura is not mentally 26!!!!!! she is still 14 mentally!! in order to be 26, you have to have experienced 26 years of new life experience. maybe you acquire that through school, maybe you aquire that through friends, whatever it takes. but homura just repeated the same month over and over, and it’s not like her body (canonically) ages ever. she just kind of gets transported back into her body in the hospital again considering she’s back wearing her braids and pajamas... so, yeah. no mental development there. i also mentioned this here but i’m gonna say it again, that just makes it even harder for her to actually age correctly... it stunts her to 14. imagine being 14 for 10-11 years...

In Defense Of My Own Claims

btw before you think i’m just going full-on radical homura apologist, i’m not explaining all of this to be like “homura made ALL THE RIGHT DECISIONS because her trauma gave her an excuse!!” because like, Obviously, she did a lot of bad things, she killed people, did a lot of callous things, a lot of thoughtless things, a lot of things that make her seem emotionless, etc. but i just have trouble blaming her considering how things ended up, and it’s not like she enjoys killing people. she’s not sadistic... she ends up becoming short with all the others not only because of her (extremely) weakened trust in them, but also because the amount of times she repeated the timeline. i’d imagine it makes her feel like the others can’t truly die because she can just go back and see them again. (this is also why wraith arc/post-tv series must’ve been hard for her because she can no longer turn back time, things are permanent now, deaths are forever) she’s become so worn down that she’ll do anything to escape the loops... also considering she has no choice but to continue? although it shouldn’t be, it’s technically her job as a magical girl to defeat all witches and walpurgisnacht counts. it kills magical girls and tears up the whole city and she’s usually the only magical girl left... her choices, when defeated, are either to give up and die or to go back and try again, and she made a promise to her first ever friend to do just the latter... i just don’t understand how this isn’t easier for people to comprehend, that all of this trauma and stress and responsibility on top of an already traumatized 14 year old does not mix well. ever. she had to figure out all of this by herself.

TL;DR:

homura was a previously traumatized, unsocialized 14 year old with (very)low self esteem & self worth whose first friend (and first love, really, let’s be honest) died in front of her in horrific ways and she watched as she (and the other friends she came to make) drifted slowly apart from her in her endless and futile attempt in saving her from what proved to be an inescapable fate. also she’s 14 and also she’s (canonically) mentally ill and a lesbian. not a monster, not evil, not “psycho”. and that’s that!

#asks #luna-mistrunner #homura akemi #analysis #THIS MAY HABE TAKEN ME LIKE 2 DAYS ON AND OFF

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peeterparkr · 4 years ago

Text

perennial;tom holland|eleven.

chapter eleven: snapdragons & sunflowers (Vol. 1)

↳ flower meaning: snapdragons: deception. sunflowers: unconditional love.

chapter summary: to ask for a kiss.

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: fluff, angst, comedy, all in one, mentions or allusion to sex but not smut :), you’ll see, alcohol.

You’ll hate me.

word count: 11.2K

SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE THE CHAPTER:

masterlist & profiles

ten (Instagram): in which they share set pictures

ten (tweets & texts:in which the groupchats are…loud

previous chapter next chapter perennial masterlist.

perfidy ( series masterlist)

wanna be tagged?

So, please help me out I think tags aren’t working. So yes, hope you enjoy this :)

Y/N was made of the people she loved or once loved. Everyone is, really, but y/n probably made sure it showed.

Like her habit for photography had come from her very own best friend, of the way she started watching cooking videos because of her other best friend and always read the ingredients on any of the food she ate. Her clothing style had come from her very own first boyfriend who had introduced her to the magnificent world of the 80’s.

Her love for 80’s movies had come from Louis introducing her every night to a different one, a new story, a new song, and honestly it was good he showed her to it, y/n found her one true love. Louis, really, had shown y/n a lot of things, like how to lie to see him at indecent hours, and how And how Louis taught her that love doesn’t have to last and that sometimes people aren’t what we expect.

How she loved pancakes because that’s what her mother used to make them every Sunday, and how she’d learned from her father that sometimes sitting outside in the grass on a sunny day could bring back happiness to us.

How her grandma had taught her how to have a perfect poker face, and how her grandfather had shown her how to peel an orange in a ‘correct way’.

How she had started to drink her tea with lemon and honey because James had once given her one like that and it brought nice memories. And how James had told her that it’s okay to love, even when people tell you not to, you have to fight for your love, you shall never be afraid of who you love. And James teaching her that she should love for herself, for her own, and not having to share her feelings if she didn’t want to.

How y/n had started to watch subtitled films because Timmy had shown her some hidden gems. Or how she had learned from Tim to enjoy little moments, like the sunrise if she ever had to wake up early, or how she opened the windows to listen to the rain splattering. Tim had taught her too much about life, like enjoying wasting time.

Y/N was made, the most, of the people she loved the most. Like how she made pasta the way James had taught her to once when their parents had gone out and James was left in charge.

Or how when she was sad she’d watch that movie her childhood friend had introduced her to, and how they didn’t talk now. How y/n had learned that music was a way of healing because of that same friend.

Or how to make a story sound great with Harry, and how Harry had shown her songs that probably were her favorite ones. How Harry and her knew that they didn’t like tequila because of that one time, and how they had learned that mixing cranberry, and grape juice and vodka tasted great thanks to Sam’s idea.

The way that Emma had taught her to use certain hair products, and how Emma had taught her that sometimes we have to sing out our feelings, and scream and shout. How Emma had taught her the importance of a friendship and having someone’s shoulder to cry on. That she didn’t have to be lonely.

How when she kissed she usually liked to place her hands behind their neck because she’d done that on her very first kiss with Tom, or how she usually ate some of the chocolate chips when she baked cookies because Tom and her used to do that. She had learned how to wrestle from a very young age and beat Tom, and she had learned how to play with his hair in a way to make him smile. She had learned the meaning of a rose, when all her life she had never understood about it, Tom had shown her how to approach a dog, and Tom had taught her how to cuff her jeans in a cool way. Or the habit she’d picked from him of undressing the beer bottle when they were talking or how he opened it with the table. How Tom had taught her how to kiss, from their very first one to the last one, different kisses each time, how he’d taught her each and every kiss is a journey, a mystery. How she’d learned how to deal with heartbreaks and to fall in love all over again. And how she had learned that he’d come back to her. But really, how a heartbreak feels when it’s real.

That’s who y/n was. All the beautiful things of the people she loved.

But she was also the bad ones, unfortunately, because people shape us. Y/N was also made of the ugly parts, very ugly parts.

One that stood out the most, she’d learned from Tom, from James, from her family, was to avoid talking.

Everybody wanted to talk, everybody except y/n. She knew she was being immature, but she’d learned that from everyone around her, not to care if you don’t have to. But she was too overwhelmed, everyone had something to say about, except her. How could she talk if she didn’t know what she wanted?

Tom, Harry, Emma, Tim, James, Sam, Cherry, Aunt Eliza, even Josh and Clark.

Everybody wanted to talk. She didn’t.

She had caught on to what Tom was doing. She'd go along with it, he was the only one she wanted to talk to, honestly.

And Emma, because she knew Emma didn’t judge her, Emma understood y/n, and Emma had been the only one who really didn’t tell her she was wrong. Even if Tim was her best friend, Ema understood that y/n’s heart belonged to Tom.

“Clark is great, I may have fallen in love with him,” Emma had stated.

Y/N nodded. “He’s great, I—“

“Why didn’t you know?” Emma asked.

“I did know. But I didn’t—James was—you know how I’ve only dated three guys?” Y/n asked, she was putting on makeup, she had a date.

“Yeah.”

“James is exactly the opposite, he’s dated like half the gay population his age in London,” y/n scrunched her nose, as she was choosing between lipsticks.. “So I just—Never paid attention to any guy he dated because I never thought it was serious.”

“Are you talking to him now?”

“I did today, only because of Clark,” y/n admitted, giving up on the lipsticks and instead choosing to work on her hair. “James is still angry I am in love.”

“Not angry at that, you know that,” Emma pointed out.

“Is it that wrong I am so in love with Tom?” Y/n left the brush on the table as she turned to look at Emma.

“It’s completely bollocks y/n, but then again,” Emma sighed, “I wish I could be more like you and just love—I mean and I also wish Harry wasn’t so scared okay? He’s just so bloody scared, I wish he’d just say hey, Emma, d’ya fancy to go for a stroll? But no, we are both so… Gosh, I wish we were more like you and Tom, throwing everything down the drain.”

“We are-”

“You are, y/n,” Emma rolled her eyes. “He blows your mind and you basically want to yell it to the world, and he gets you all stupid, and you’re happy again, that’s alright, though-”

Emma was laying down on y/n’s bed, her feet up against the wall, as she was nibbling on a popsicle.

“Yes, I know, we have to talk,” she sighed.

“Who says it has to be right now?” Emma had said. “Right now you barely have time to think, and I see you all happy and giggling, and besides, talking doesn’t have to be dramatic.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just… I don’t get it why James wants it to be dramatic, it’s just hey, you guys love each other, what else is there to know?”

Y/N nodded, turning back to the lipsticks.

“You do have to tell him you know about Cherry, though, which-”

“Yeah, n, no, but I get it,” y/n sighed.

“Which, I love you’re ignoring, just pretending like she doesn’t exist, ” Emma laughed. “She just arrived yesterday, didn’t she?”

“She did,” Y/N sighed. “Ugh, I don’t want to see her and she wants to talk, what does she want to talk about? We’ve never cared about each other before, met her like three times growing up because my mum and hers didn’t get along, which by the way, I’m scared James and I are headed in that same direction.”

“You won’t,” Emma said. “James loves you too much to ever leave you.”

“You never know,” y/n said. “Besides that’s not my point, my point is why does she want to talk? We have nothing in common!”

“Dunno, you’re blood related and you both rode the same dick, seems like you’ve got a lot in common.”

Y/n closed her eyes as she forced a laugh, “Emma!”

“I’m just saying, y/n, that’s why you and I became close, we’ve both kissed the same two guys.”

“It’s different,” Y/N scoffed. “I—just don’t want to see her okay? Because I know I’ll be reminded of every single insecurity I have,” she admitted. “Because I know that the moment I see her I’ll get just so anxious, you know? She’s so pretty, and she’s so perfect and from what-”

“From what I’ve gathered from Eliza, she’s also a mess,” Emma added.

“That’s an issue, that’s Tom’s type, just look at me,” y/n laughed as she stared at a bright red lipstick.

Emma scoffed. “Oh, hadn’t thought about that, Tom’s into messy girls with your genes.”

“It’s so fucked up, though,” y/n said, as she looked up at the wall, she needed to change the flowers, they were drying out. She hadn’t changed them in a while.

Emma shrugged, “considering how small his brain is, he probably thought it would feel the same way if he closed his eyes.”

“As if it would,” y/n replied cockily, finally choosing a light pink, changing it up a bit, she’d always used bright red lipsticks with Tom, “I’ve known him his whole life, and now I’ve—“she cleared her throat. “ I know exactly how to work him up.”

Emma let out a loud and long laugh. “I can tell, Jesus, what did you do to him to have him oh, so mesmerized? Are you a sex goddess or why are those two men so bloody entranced by you?”

Y/N blushed and shook her head laughing. “You’re an idiot.”

“How do you really feel?” Emma wondered, getting the conversation back as serious as it was supposed to be.

“I don’t know,” Y/N admitted, she was still on some pair of pjs. “I… I’ve been talking with Tom, or…” She rolled her eyes. “He’s found a way to talk, and I think it’s worked out for both of us.”

“Oh, what is it?” Emma sighed.

Y/n walked over to her closet, it felt so weird to choose something to wear, Tom had warned her to be casual, something her style, something very her.

“We use the script so we can… I guess we’re projecting it all, and well, I think he’s been understanding about it, and I think I’m starting to understand his point of view, about Tim at least.”

“Please, I don’t need to listen to him to know why he feels that way,” Emma pointed out.

“Really?” Y/n turned back to Emma as she was choosing between them.

“I like the red one,” Emma suggested. “But please, y/n,” Emma scoffed. “Timmy was the one who stole his chance, Timmy was the one who got the girl when he had fucked up and everyone around Tom said it, we’ve all said it at some point, Tim is perfect for you.”

“But—“

“and besides, Timmy was the one-”

“The one who opened the door when Tom came to apologize,” y/n finished Emma’s sentence as she sat down hugging the red dress Emma had suggested.

Emma frowned. “What?”

“Guess Timmy had secrets, too,” y/n said.

Emma seemed confused.

“He never told me about it, how Tom had come a second time, and…” She sighed. “I mean I guess I’m thankful he didn’t but I’m… I’m only wondering—“

“Oh, back when you first started dating,” Emma recalled. “He did tell me about it, and I.. was the one to advise him not to tell you.”

Y/N gulped.

“Would you have run back to Tom?” Emma wondered, embarrassed. “Honestly I told him not to because—Well, I had asked Harry about it, you know? Harry had said you hated each other and that you had been avoiding Tom for a while now. That you were enemies.”

“We were.”

“And I mean—Back then, you really hated him.”

Y/n nodded. “Yeah, I did.”

“So I told Tim not to tell you about it, because I thought—I didn’t know the background but I thought Tom was going to—hurt you, you know? And I guess, we all did, and we all kept that mentality even when he wasn’t trying to.”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, I’ve never thought about that,” Emma nodded. “Even when I knew you were dating back in New York, we were just waiting for it, for Tom to—“

“Yeah, for Tom to pull a Tom,” y/n ended the sentence. “And I mean—He kind of did, but it was my fault.”

“Tom really sabotages himself, it seems.”

Y/N reached out to hug her frog, she was thankful James had brought it, “he does, but because he’s expected to, you know? Maybe that’s why— I haven’t brought it up because I’m not—I’m not expecting the heartbreak this time, and I know bringing up the whole Cherry thing is looking for it,” y/n explained. “I trust him this time, and he really wants to make it work out.”

“Would you have gone back to him? Had Tim told you he had showed up?” Emma questioned.

Y/N breathed in heavily. “Dunno,” she said. “I was so heartbroken back then, I thought— and I had promised myself back then I would never fall back for him, and… I mean, I had even thought I would never love again because that’s how dramatic it was, I really didn’t want to see him, that heartbreak is what led to all this mess, you know?” She explained. “Now Tom knows that, I think he really understands it, and he feels guilty and I mean, I was angry when Tom told me about it, because… Tim, well he didn’t know back then, he just was too sure that Tom loved me but—After learning all of this? Tim should’ve told me, because just now, learning it, I guess it changed a lot of things, not that it erased anything, but I lived all this time thinking he hadn’t… He really hadn’t cared, and it took him a lot of time, still, but he had tried to apologize again, and Tim keeping it to himself knowing that what broke me the most was that Tom had never shown up? Tim keeping it to himself is just—so selfish.”

Emma bit her lip. “He’s still in love with you.”

Y/N remained quiet.

“I mean, you can’t blame him,” Emma said. “You guys were… I mean before Tom, you really seemed to be hitting it off, I thought you’d end up dating again.”

“I did, too, at some point,” y/n admitted. “But-”

“But you love Tom, I know,” Emma shrugged. “No but… Y/N you also, have to acknowledge it, you can’t keep playing with Tim which-before you say anything, I mean it’s also on him, he knew it, but then again, I… I believed it at some point y/n, that you were going to get back together with him because… The way you looked at him just… and it was just—”

“I know, I know and I thought… I don’t know, okay?” y/n admitted as she sat up. “I… It’s cause I never… I had closure with Tim, alright? I gave him the ring back because I thought, I know it, I want Tom, okay? It’s Tom, yes, it’s Tom.”

“But?”

Y/n sighed, “Timmy—alright as I said before, I had said I would never love again after the whole Rome thing,” she cleared up. “And then Tim came along and just showed me this beautiful life and taught me how to love again, and I—He became a very special part of me.”

“Yeah, and? That doesn’t explain your flirting.”

“I didn’t—flirt.”

“Well you answered to his flirting,” Emma pointed out.

“We were—“

“You guys were flirting y/n!” Emma replied quickly, slightly stressed. “You guys don’t flirt like everyone else! Your flirting style with each other was by showing each other songs and him watering your plants, y/n! You were basically having sex with each other,” Emma rolled her eyes.

Y/N stayed quiet.

“But I know, Tom, Tom—“

Y/n gulped. “Yeah, Tom.”

Emma watched y/n, confused. “Why are you acting like it’s the last time?”

“What?”

“Like it’s your last chance with Tom.”

“I...don’t know, because what if it is, you know? It’s… stupid, we’ve had plenty of chances and… Last time, I just… Had I known it would lead to that. I know it’s my fault, and like we’ve both blown it up so it’s—“

“Neither one of you will fuck up.”

“I know—But Tom… We are trying and I’m happy but I feel-”

“Y/N you are pretending, I know, you won’t be happy until you talk about it with him.”

She sighed. “I know, and we’ve been talking and I…” She coughed. “I really want to try it out.”

“But…?”

“Am I allowed to forgive something like that? Am I even allowed to get angry about Cherry?”

Emma sat up as well. “Y/N, had he slept with anyone else I wouldn’t be so sure but that’s your cousin, that’s fucked up and-”

“What if he finds out about Tim?”

Y/N grabbed the pillow that had once been under her head and proceeded to get it in her face and scream into it.

“Wait, I’m… I’m gonna try that,” Emma laughed, doing the same.

Both of them were screaming into the pillows, pitying their sorrows and problems.

Timmy had walked in.

“What the hell?” He asked.

Emma was the only one to peak her head out of it. “It’s therapeutic.”

Timothee had only chuckled. “I bet.”

Y/N had stopped screaming but kept the pillow over her face. She didn’t know how she felt about Tim, there was no point in being angry at something from the past, but it did change a lot of the way she saw him, maybe he had forgotten. But Tim was never one to forget, he was observant and he was quiet, and he was all about the stories.

“Um, y/n?” Tim said.

Emma watched Tim, and the small object he had in his hand. She shot him a warning glare, scared of the inside.

“Yeah?” y/n answered from her pillow which now had a nice stain of makeup on it.

“Can I talk to you?” He asked.

Another person wanting to talk, what was it with everybody wanting to say words and listening and whatever? Y/N thought to herself.

Though Timmy hadn’t asked for it yet, she knew it, but he hadn’t really said it, not the whole y/n we should talk.

She wanted to say no, but she knew that she couldn’t keep doing that. Counting the days until it finally had to blow up, and then end up with bruises, no, she didn’t have to do that.

She finally let the pillow down, “Yeah, sure,” she said before walking out of her room.

“Sure, leave Emma behind,” Emma pointed out.

“I… well,” Y/N looked at Tim.

“It’ll be quick, darling, Emma dear,” Tim assured her.

Emma rolled her eyes. “It never is with you both.”

Tim rolled his eyes before leading the way outside of the apartment, y/n frowned, asking him to wait up so she could put on her sneakers, still wearing her pj’s.

“So your birthday is tomorrow,” Tim had said as they had walked out, he had sat on the stairs.

She chuckled as she sat beside him. “Yeah.”

“You look really pretty,” Tim had said.

“These pj’s really accentuate my features huh,” y/n joked.

“Your makeup looks pretty and hair, idiot,” Tim chuckled.

She only gave him a sad smile.

“So, what are your plans?” He asked.

“For… tonight? I’ve got a date,” she explained.

“No, tomorrow.”

She shrugged. “Tom’s got some plans, apparently, he hasn’t told me anything about it, honestly I don’t… I don’t want to…”

“What?”

“Do anything you know? I will be too tired after filming, and I… I just feel like… Dunno, James and Clark will be there and I don’t want to talk to James still, and apparently Cherry invited herself, too so… And you’ll be there, and Harry and Emma… and Josh, and I just... ” She chuckled. “I’ve got a bad feeling.”

“Why?”

“Dunno, seems like a perfect combination for disaster.”

“I met Cherry today,” he admitted. “Well, we’d met before but-Yeah, I thought you’d be at the flower shop. “And she was there, instead.”

Y/N scrunched her nose. “Yeah I know she’s there, that’s why I haven’t gone there,” she explained chuckling shyly.

“Why?”

“Because then I’ll start feeling insignificant, because let’s face it and don’t you dare say no, but she’s really… Pretty, like she’s everything a girl would want to be and I’m jealous of her,” she admitted, truthfully. “I’ve never been the jealous kind but with her, I feel like—Of course anyone would choose her over me, and don’t—Say anything okay? I just feel that way. And if I see her I’ll be reminded of the elephant in the room waiting to be addressed, and I… If the conversation about you went wrong I don’t want to know how that-”

“About me?”

“Yeah,” she looked down. “Dunno.”

Tim bit his lip.

“How did he-?”

“I don’t want to talk about that, Tim,” she quickly answered. “I can’t blame him for feeling the way he feels and that’s on me, too, I mean… I… really.”

“What?”

She looked down. “I— well, I don’t…know alright? If I feel anxious about Cherry I can only imagine how he feels about you, no, I can’t even imagine it, and look Tim, I—you know you’re very important to me but I’m… I’m dating… Or whatever is going on now, but It’s Tom right now, alright? And I know it’ll be for a long time.”

“I know.”

She looked at him, confused by his statement because it really didn’t feel like he knew it.. “And I don’t… want you to think there is an open door or-”

“Y/N, I know,” he said. “Yeah, I know it’s Tom, now.”

“But it’s not just—“

“I know,” Tim looked away. “I know.”

She looked down. “I’m sorry.”

“Just….” He took a deep breath. “I know it’s him, but that doesn’t… I mean, we’ve been friends, and I—I just ask you not to push me away, alright? I don’t know how I’d live without y/n in my world, and if having you around means having you with him, then I just have to deal with it, move on you know? And I know we are friends, so this is… This comes from your friend, Timmy.”

She smiled, just slightly, very timidly. It hurt, hurting him but of course, keeping him around meant jeopardizing her relationship with Tom, and she really didn’t want to give it more excuses.

“Timmy,” she sighed.

He smiled. “I’m serious, it’s alright, no… no resentment, alright? We both know we… I don’t…you know it, I’ll always love you, but we—I mean you—you love someone else and it’s be stupid of me not letting you love him, that is just pathetically selfish. And don’t get me wrong, it hurts like a bitch…. Yeah, I know it, but… I don’t want to lose you, I am not stupid… but I also… I know that if I give this to you tomorrow, Tom will lose it and I… don’t want that, so I’m giving you this, today.”

He pulled out a film canister. And it felt like one of those times when life likes to punch you with reality. She felt a fear deep inside her stomach. Last time he’d given her one of those an engagement ring was hidden in it.

“It’s… It’s not what you think,” Tim rolled his eyes. “Oh, you really thought I’d propose again?”

She let out a soft chuckle. “No--I… I mean,” I’m-I didn’t think you would-”

“Your face,” He chuckled softly. “Yeah, no, I… I’m…”

“Yeah, just last time you gave me one of those-”

“Yeah, and look where it led us, I’m not… I wouldn’t… No,” Timmy laughed. “No, it’s not… and—do you really think I’m the type of guy to propose on a bad time—-Actually don’t answer that,” he chuckled. “Okay, open it.”

She grinned, and took the film canister from him. “Man I hope it’s an iPad,” she joked, warning a laugh from Tim. “No, you—you shouldn’t have.”

She shook it just slightly, listening to no sound coming out from it, before finally opening, carefully. “A…there’s nothing?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Tim laughed. “I know.”

She frowned, confused but then chuckled. “I love it… I hope I… can get to wear it soon,” she joked.

“It couldn’t fit there, but I—Well, you know, we had that tradition, ,” he said before finally giving her the box that sat beside him.

She took the box and smiled, opening it, an old vintage Polaroid camera stood there.

“I know you’ve—I think it works, it’s—It’s an original, I've noticed you haven't really taken any Polaroids, and I know you love them,” he coughed. “So, yeah, happy birthday.”

Y/N had only looked up, giving him a true smile.

“Thank you, I love it!”

But of course, the timing could not have gone any worse. Tom had arrived. Y/N had momentarily forgotten she had agreed to spend the night with him, nothing too serious but Tom had insisted because he had a surprise for early in the morning and he’d come pick her up for dinner and then she’d stay with him.

Maybe she should’ve seen the trouble coming.

Tom cleared his throat loudly, “hello,” he said, standing with sunflowers. Yellow flowers with pretty meaning, y/n thought.

Y/n looked up, calmly, knowing that if he saw any hint of her freaking out it would blow it up because his mind would go places.

“Oh hi!” She grinned. “sorry—I’m not—“

Tom clenched his jaw at Tim, but then turned to y/n and chuckled, “Darling, when I said casual—I didn’t—“

She chuckled nervously standing up. “Sorry, I—“she squeezed her eyes shut. “I was discussing with Tim something about some pictures he’s planning on—yeah,” she lied, as she hid the film canister and box behind her back.

“Yeah,” Tim said, clearing his throat, standing up as well. “Hello, Thomas.”

“Tim.” Tom was nervous already, y/n could tell.

“Are those for me?” Y/n questioned staring at the flowers before they could say another word to each other.

Tom chuckled between his teeth, “yeah, they’re most certainly not for Tim.”

“Oh,” Tim said, “and here I was getting excited about them.”

Tom faked a very quiet laugh and then turned to y/n. “So? Don’t get me wrong, you literally look so beautiful—but—“ He smiled looking down at her clothing.

“Yeah—right!” She excused herself, not forgetting to kiss his cheek, before running back to her room, where Emma was waiting with the red dress and had pulled out some heels for her.

Emma walked out of the room, “hello, Tom, long time no see,” she said with sarcasm.

“I know, these couple hours have been long,” Tom joked back, as he had walked in.

Tim had followed after. It felt so tense, Emma could swear she could cut the tension with a knife.

Emma hummed a fake laugh. “There are flower vases over there, you can guess which ones are y/n’s now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna steal Tim from you just a bit, I hope you don’t miss him as much.”

Emma had dragged Tim to her own room.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Emma snapped.

“A lot of things,” Tim answered. “But let’s not go there, please.”

“Oh don’t play that with me, I know exactly what you’re doing, and Tim—“

“I’m not—“

“Don’t fucking pull the whole I’m not doing anything bullshit with me,” she rolled her eyes. “I know exactly what you’re doing, and I’m sure you gave her the Polaroid today, really? Exactly when you know she’ll go on a date with Tom? And you take her to the stairs? So he can see it right?

Tim clenched his jaw. “I—Well.”

“Sabotaging her relationship is not the way to go, Tim,” Emma warned him. “And I—I just told you—Best thing you could try is...move on, alright? I know you love her and that she was—She seemed perfect for you, and I still think you guys worked so well together but… She is so in love with him, and by doing this you’re only hurting her more—Besides, really Tim, you know her better than this,” she pushed. “I—“ Emma sighed. “I'm telling you this because I love you, I don’t want to sound harsh but—“She closed her eyes. “I know she is confused, and making her even more confused won’t help you, let her settle it, let her have it right now.”

Tim didn’t say anything and just walked out of the room. He had gone to his room and unfortunately had left his door open to see y/n walking out on a red dress to run over excitedly to Tom, who had pulled her close to him to kiss her cheek and smell her perfume.

Timmy knew Emma was right, y/n was in love with him. So, very deeply in love. And it hurt, seeing her. And Timmy asked for more patience, or for more time, or strength to move on.

It felt weird, Tim felt lonely and broken hearted, and he just missed her, and it was stupidly incredible that she lived right there in the same apartment. He knew she loved Tom, that was it but it…. It still didn’t make any sense. Honestly, it felt like they were completely strangers.

Especially y/n, she really felt like a stranger, even to Tom it seemed. She seemed too… distant to everyone.

Tom felt it, too. He felt that y/n was just off, even if she was happy or tried to be and even if she was kissing his cheek, she was being… different. And Tom only wanted to get over with it, the awkwardness.

And he wondered if she wanted to get over with it, too.

They went out for dinner, not in the place where she’d imagine Tom would take her, it was a nice dinner place with lightbulbs hanging around, a flower in a glass bottle, candles around, very… cozy, and romantic, and they were talking about barely anything, and maybe for a bit it felt like they were each other again.

Y/N knew this, she felt weird with herself, as if even when she seemed to be saying what she wanted to say, she really wasn’t saying what her heart wanted, but as if her own heart was keeping secrets. It felt like Tom didn’t know her, though. And it had never felt that way before, but it felt like they were both trying to get to know each other again. Because neither of them were being themselves, not entirely.

“So, you were clearly not talking about pictures with Tim,” Tom had mentioned.

y/n looked at him and nodded. “Yeah, I wasn’t….”

“So?” Tom seemed anxious about it.

“He gave me a birthday present, a…he gave me a polaroid,” she cleared up. “A vintage, original one.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” Tom nodded, and gulped. “As long as he doesn’t give you a ring.”

She rolled her eyes. “Tom.”

Tom shrugged.

“I… told him,” she cleared her throat. “That well… it’s you.”

“It’s me?” Tom wondered, and a smile came to his face. “What am I?”

She rolled her eyes, chuckling softly. “An idiot, that’s what you are.”

Tom chuckled. “Uh-huh, I am, and what else?”

She blushed. “Nothing.”

Tom hadn’t pushed it any further. Their conversation kept flowing. Talking about them. What made them so… them.

“I remember that everyone was in love with this one guy, ugh, what’s his name? The one that bullied you,” Y/N tried to recall.

“Edward,” Tom remembered. “He was so big.”

“Well, everyone had a crush except me, because well, I was the idiot, you know?”

“You loved that scrawny guy who-”

“Adorable guy,” she added.

“Scrawny guy,” he continued. “Who did ballet and everyone crushed on Edward, who-”

“I actually was… dating Louis back then,” she recalled. “But…” She chuckled. “But my point is… I was the one who… hid a rat in his car.”

“No way!” Tom’s eyes popped as he leaned over. “You’re kidding.”

“I… Look, nobody could be an asshole to you unless it was me, that was-” She was nervous. “I was so angry at everything he said at you, I…” She rolled her eyes. “And I… genuinely don’t know.”

“Where in this bloody world did you get a rat from?” He wondered. “I mean thank you but I didn’t think you’d-”

“Please I had experience from pranks for you so of course…” She gulped, hiding a laugh. “I...Well, there was a rat in Louis' house, and well they trapped it and instead of… you know killing it I… well told Louis to break into Ed’s car and I hid the rat there.”

Tom was shocked. “And that was because of me?”

“No, I hated Ed,” she looked away. “He was the biggest asshole.”

Tom grinned. “Are you sure? Because I remember that rat incident being right after he had hit me in the hall.”

“Really?” y/n coughed. “I wouldn’t remember,” she blushed looking away.

“Which actually brought attention to me, they said it had been me!” He recalled. “I got into detention.”

Y/N grinned. “Yeah, killed two birds in one shot,” she smirked.

“I’m serious did you-?”

“Yeah, maybe I did it for you, okay? Whatever, yes, I had feelings for you and I was angry someone else was taking away my job, let’s remember we were enemies back then, alright?” She was nervous.

Tom smirked. “You had a crush on me.”

“Shut up,” she chuckled. “You had a crush on me, too.”

Tom shrugged, smiling. “Yeah, I did. I’m not trying to hide it.

Y/N avoided his gaze, not believing he was actually making her feel butterflies, even after all this time, she was still nervous. In a good way. She wasn’t always nervous, most of the time, she didn’t, she felt so calm around him, but on the edge, as if she didn’t need to worry about being herself but expectant of each other’s attitude.

Tom watched her, “Why do I always feel like there’s always something on your mind?”

“Because there is,” she laughed. “Don’t you?”

“No, I’m dumb, remember? I can actually blank up my mind,” he smirked. “Or well, not at all. There is a constant on my mind,” he had reached for her hand.

“Oh?” her eyes had brightened up, a timid smile on her face.

“Yeah, Spiderman,” he joked, earning a glare from y/n.

It was so stupid. But they were… back being them. Probably because they were alone. As if someone was brushing y/n’s dream, and she couldn’t get enough of him, his laugh was her everything. She couldn’t help but sigh and run out of breath, and never stop blushing, there was no doubt about it. And she had once thought about it, ‘the day that Tom loves me, the world will party’. She had been wrong, the world wasn’t partying, and there were no flowers blooming and no fireworks. The world instead, stopped, as if it was them and only them. The stars were probably jealous of them seeing them shining even more brightly than them.

“You know, from the moment we met,” he had said.

“When we were kids, you mean?” She chuckled .

“Truly met,” Tom gulped. “Rome, I mean.”

She blinked. “Yeah.”

“I… Why didn’t you kiss me?” He asked.

“Hm? When?”

“That one night, you know the one, lovely evening, I remember I asked for a kiss,” he recalled. “And… you said and I quote: ‘No, Thomas, don’t ask for a kiss’.”

She looked away, remembering. “Because I didn’t want you to ask for it.”

He frowned.

“It’s silly but that’s the way I am, I didn’t want you to ask for it, I was clearly begging for one,” she explained. “I wanted you to… do it. One should never ask for a kiss, or not… verbally.”

“How so?”

“I mean certain contexts,” y/n said. “But that night? I thought I had hinted it enough

“So you did want me to kiss you,” He grinned.

“Of course!” She beamed. “I—it’s not secret by now that I—“she cleared her throat. “Well, enjoy when our lips come together.”

“Oh, so you enjoy that?” He mocked.

“Very much so,” she answered shyly. “And—it had been the perfect evening! It would’ve cost you nothing,” she smiled.

“Cost me nothing,” he laughed.

“I think you’ll find that kissing me is quite cheap,” she pointed out.

He scrunched his nose. “That’s a lie.”

“No, no, I was the one who could lose there,” she sighed.

“No, y/n. Because kissing you costs a lifetime.”

She scoffed. “How so?”

“I kissed you once when I was 13 and never stopped thinking about it,” he said. “And after that evening.”

“Would I have been so bad?” She questioned, “if we had realized it back then.”

“Think we did,” he said, “but you didn’t kiss me either.”

“No, but—because you had asked for it.”

“You’re right… I should’ve, but there’s a lot of things I should’ve done...still can’t believe it, how stupid I was,” he said.

“It didn’t click you know,” she nodded. “When you broke my heart,” she continued. “I mean, the excuses you gave me… They didn’t make any sense.”

Tom looked down.

“And…” She sighed.

“Would you’ve forgiven me? If I had come earlier?” He asked.

She stared at him. “Maybe,” she admitted. “Probably, if I’m honest… I did wait for you to come again with yellow flowers, and I’d have my hand right in my heart, and I would wait for you to come and apologize and I would see it, you know, wait for you to stand up in the rain and said you didn’t mean it, and I… I was angry, alright? It was stupid letting my life pass by waiting for it besides the whole scenario...but then again, it wa shot and it’s still you and I’m—it’s silly.”

“It’s not silly,” Tom said. “It’s you,” he took a deep breath, “and I knew you’d like that… kind of stuff, but when I finally realized it, it was too late.”

“But it’s not late now,” she admitted. “We’re finally on time. And I’m glad I’ve always been so stubborn when it comes to you because otherwise we wouldn’t be here.”

The evening had continued to flow, as both of them had become quieter, in a way that they didn’t need to talk to communicate, between whispers and giggles and hand brushing, it was all they needed.

The ticking had stopped, y/n had noticed. It’d come, she knew but… God, when she was with him, she didn’t have to worry about anything. Because it seemed that it was made for them, all her doubts disappeared because he was the answer she needed. It was them against the world.

They hadn’t talked about Valerie and William, not that night. It was Tom and y/n,.

They hadn’t kissed. Tom had ceased the kissing when James had arrived, which y/n hated, she missed his lips so much her own were begging for them. She wouldn’t ask for it. Never ask for a kiss, not out loud.

She was wearing his jacket back on their way, he had said: ‘I wasn’t cold but I knew you’d be so that’s why I brought it’. Her hand was on his hair as he drove, listening to music, windows down as they hummed the lyrics, and as y/n stared down at the lights the city was giving her, her hair flying.

She was sad, though, Tom hadn’t even tried to lean over and kiss her, not even seeing a hint of him trying to do so.

They had walked in, the guys seemed to be all too invested in a video game, all except for Clark who was rather interested in playing with James’ hair as y/n’s brother yelled at the screen. He looked up when seeing them walk in, he smiled at the sight of y/n’s shoulders being covered by Tom’s jacket.

“Hello, you two,” Clark had greeted them.

Tom peeked to see the screen, not letting go of y/n’s hand.

“Hi,” y/n said, knowing she’d most likely lose Tom’s attention to the screen.

“How did it go?” Clark asked.

“Bloody hell, Samuel!” James yelled.

“Piss off,” Harry yelled, too.

y/n chuckled. “It went well,” she said.

“Well?” Tom lost focus of the screen, as he turned to her. “Well?”

She ignored him and kept staring at Clark. “Can you believe the evening has gone by so splendidly but he still hasn’t kissed me?”

Tom immediately blushed.

“Good,” said James. “Kissing is gross.”

“Is it?” Clark asked before kissing his cheek.

James coughed. “Straight kissing is gross,” he corrected himself.

Harry laughed.

Sam scrunched his nose. “Why haven’t you kissed her? you usually bloody eat each other’s faces.”

Harry scoffed.

“Don’t you dare eat my sister’s face,” James warned. “Or anything for that matter.”

“James,” y/n closed her eyes.

Tom laughed. “We’re gonna…”

“No, why don’t you guys stay? We were about to play Mario Kart” Offered James. “So why don’t you both play with all of us, you know you can sit over there with your brother and y/n can sit over here, everyone’s happy.”

“Jamey, love, don’t be a dick,” warned Clark.

Y/N chuckled. “Fine, I want to play,” she admitted.

“Great, mario kart is the real deal breaker between couples.”

Of course, they hadn’t followed James’ instruction for their sitting arrangement, y/n had sat on the couch, and Tom had sat on the floor, resting his back against her. Y/N was still bothered by the fact she hadn’t yet been kissed that night, but she soon forgot it as it felt like one of those nights when they were younger, all of them playing and yelling at each other.

Tom had left the room without any explanation at some point, but she was too busy trying to beat her brother at rainbow road to even notice.

Time went by, and before she knew it, the lights had gone off, and they all had turned with a smirk as Tom had walked in with a cake with candles.

‘Happy Birthday’ they all sang as she stared at the cake, pretty cake, sunflowers again. Tom kissing her cheek.

It felt… like years ago, the Holland’s, James, and now Clark, too, of course it was Tom holding the cake now, not Harry, and now she didn’t have a wish, usually she’d plan ahead her birthday wishes, because that’s something James had taught her to. Instead, she wished for everything to keep flowing as easy as it could with Tom. Funny, how many birthday wishes had not involved him already.

They had sat and ate cake like old times, y/n smearing some frosting to Tom’s cheek and then kissing it off, making the boy blush and getting James to glare at her. Laughing at each other, telling old jokes as y/n was laying against Tom, his arms around her and his lips brushing against her head.

How many years had they not wasted by being enemies.

Eventually, they had all gone to bed knowing the next day would expect them, except for Clark and James who had stayed in the kitchen.

Tom and y/n had stayed on the couch.

“So, I’m gonna be honest,” Tom had said as he had sat with her, he had left yet again to get something

She only stared into his eyes, begging her with her sight to kiss her already. She should’ve probably wished for that, instead.

“I—this wasn’t going to be your birthday present.”

“You didn’t need to get me anything,” she said.

He had sat up and pulled out a small box, he seemed nervous, but excited. The box… gave her shivers. But it couldn’t be.

Y/n only smiled watching him, resenting her head against her palm.

“I—back when,” he gulped, “back when I was still in London debating whether or not to direct dos-a-dos,” he continued. “I—well.”

“Yeah?”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you because—Well,” he grinned. “I am so stupidly in love with you.”

She only blushed.

“So—one day,” he gulped. “I went—Well, you know, to the mall and whatsoever, and—I saw this shop.”

“Right.”

“And so I bought a pair of boots for me,” he said, leaning against the couch, trying to recall. “They were very—nice, you know?”

“Uh—huh,” she rolled her eyes. “And did you bring those boots to LA?”

“No, I didn’t,” he side eyed her, “should’ve, you would have loved them.”

Y/n rolled her eyes giggling. “I bet.”

“But anyway, after I bought the boots—I passed by that shop you like.”

Y/n blinked. “Care to be more specific?”

“The one with the vinyls, and vintage stuff,” he reminded her, but she looked down at the tiny box he was holding, it definitely wasn’t anything from that shop.

“Oh, yeah, love that place,” she smiled.

“Yeah, and I—went in,” he admitted. “And I couldn’t stop thinking about you, everything they had… so I—“

She just waited for him to continue.

“I bought a fee vinyls for me, too,” he nodded seriously.

Y/n bit her lip, holding back a laugh, “amazing, which ones did you buy?”

“I bought a Beatles one… uh, Queen.”

“Great choices,” she grinned. “I’m proud.”

“And of course Rolling Stones, because I thought of you,” he said.

Y/n scooted closer to him to gently run her hands through his hair, he couldn’t hide his smile.

“And then—One day, I went out again,” he grinned.

“Hm-hm?”

He coughed, “yeah, and I walked again to that one other shop you like, the one with the clothes.”

“With the clothes,” she laughed.

“Yeah, you know the one,” he chuckled, avoiding her gaze.

“And did you get in?” She asked.

“No,” he grinned. “I went for an ice cream, you know, I was really craving one.”

She stared at him, so mesmerized by him, even when he was being the silliest. “God, I love you,” she blurted out, without really thinking of it. That’s how it should be, realy. Nothing wrong with that.

He finally locked his eyes with her and smiled, he took her hand in his and kissed it. “Yeah, so—“he grinned, “none of that has to do with your birthday present.”

Y/n chuckled. “Really? I thought the birthday present would be seeing you with those boots and dancing with you to the music on those vinyls and eating ice cream.”

“Ah, that would’ve been great huh,” he grinned staring into her eyes.

“Would’ve loved that.”

“I actually did bring the vinyls,” he admitted.

She kissed his temple. “Great, let’s play them—“

“Yeah, but—I haven’t finished,” he admitted. “I… Well, I've had a lot of time, you know? To reflect on—on the script, on us. But especially the script.”

Y/n stared at the features on his face, fixating on the freckles on his nose as he kept talking.

“So, I kept avoiding the script, even if I wanted to direct it because—Well, it was your dream, I remember and I think I’ll never forget how in Rome you told me your biggest dream was making a film of a ballerina,” he said. “I—well, and I wanted to read it, but I couldn’t because I thought—well, dunno, having something yet to read was something I still had to look forward to, you know? And so I kept listening to the vinyls because they reminded me of you, and I kept—trying to find you everywhere, alright?” He confessed. “On every single face and—The days just went by and I—eventually read it.”

Y/n silently watched him.

“And I fell in love with it, because—it’s you. The script is so—you, it was like reading an open book about you, and I don’t mean it in the way that it’s our story, like I genuinely—you really poured heart and soul in it, the songs you put in, the setting—and, well, it was really you, you know? I know you’ve always loved 80’s movies because they seem so ridiculous but so magical.“

Y/n chuckled nervously. “Where are you going with this?”

“I know it’s your biggest dream,” he sentenced. “And well—I’m sorry I didn’t get you a pair of boots like mine.”

She laughed rolling her eyes.

“And I didn’t get a vinyl.”

“Tommy,” she nudged him.

He only handed it to her, the small box. A very stupid and scary suspicion in her head had completely been erased as she picked the small box.

As she opened it, it revealed a necklace with a small pendant of a ballerina hanging from it. The brightest beam had appeared on y/n’s face.

“I know you’ve—never liked the idea of someone giving you jewelry, especially bracelets or necklace because they don’t hold any meaning, but—I think—I know you’re not a dancer but, I think Valerie is your own special project, and—“Tom grinned. “I was saving it to give it to you on the premier but—“

“I love it, I...No, really this… This is perfect,” she whispered looking at it. Tom had once taught her that roses weren’t always basic. And Tom had now proven to her that this didn’t have to be either, because it was them, and it held such a special meaning to her.

She leaned over to kiss his cheek, and he only smiled.

“I was gonna give you a T—“

“As in Troy?” She mocked.

“That’s exactly why I didn’t.”

She laughed. “I love it.”

He looked deep into her eyes and she just waited for it… But he didn’t kiss her.

“Yeah, so, let’s go to sleep,” he quickly stood up, letting her fall flat on the couch.

“Thomas,” she hissed playfully. He had already left, and she could feel his smirk from afar, so she followed after him.

“So, you can have my bed, I’m gonna leave to sleep on the couch because that was my agreement with James,” he explained, picking up his stuff as soon as she got to the room.

She frowned. “No?”

“Yes,” he replied cockily.

“I’m not letting you leave until you bloody kiss me,” she replied.

He paused and then turned with a proud smug smirk, “Then that gives me even more reasons not to kiss you.”

She opened her mouth to complain, but really she was in such a state of shock that not a single word came out.

“Goodnight love,” he grinned as he headed to the door.

“Why are you like this?” She rolled her eyes, giggling.

Tom took a deep breath before staring her down.

“For the love of god, kiss me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“One shall never ask for a kiss,” he replied smugly.

“Are you kidding me?” She closed her eyes, not believing it.

“No, you said it yourself,” he grinned. “Not verbally.”

“Just shut up and come here, idiot,” she laughed before pulling him close to her, finally placing her lips on him. It felt like just the very first time, Tom and her had that magic, of making each and every kiss feel like they’ve never kissed before, so unique and so perfectly synchronized with each other.

“Don’t you guys fucking dare to do anything,” James was just walking by with a glass of water. “People need to sleep.”

Clark had mouthed an apology before following after.

Y/n had pulled away and then smirked. “Want to prank him?”

Tom had only given her a weird face.

Y/N knew James was staying right on the next room, and that she definitely was not going to be able to do anything without him hearing, that of course, meant she could piss him off, to get back at him for being a dick.

Y/N explained her idea to Tom, and he immediately accepted, with the sole condition to leave the door open so his life could actually be spared.

Both Tom and y/n had settled in their places, sitting right on top of the bed, right against the headboard which was conveniently against James’ wall.

And so they started.

Both of them repeatedly, and in perfect sync started, Tom hitting his elbows against the headboard, making sure the noise it made was perfectly identifiable as something else as y/n was jumping on the bed.

A faint “no, no, no, no, fucking hell, no,” had been yelled from the other room.

Tom and y/n tried to hide in their laughter, but proceeded to make it even worse, adding dramatic moans and “oh yes!” “Y/n!” “Right there!” “Tommy!” In between.

“NO FUCKING WAY!” Now it had been louder.

“Jamey, love—“

Tom and y/n smirked and went in even louder, “yes!” “So tight!” “Harder!” “Yes, yes, yes, yes!”

“No! No! No! No! Bloody hell y/n I’m in the bloody next room!” James yelled. “I’m gonna kill you, Thomas!”

And then they heard the loud and quick stumping as James’ door was open as he ran to knock on y/n’s and Tom’s door, but instead, the door was wide open and he could see what actually was happening, Tom and y/n, fully clothed and not even an inch close.

That’s when both y/n and Tom lost it, bursting into laughter.

“YOU GUYS FUCKING SUCK!” James yelled at them before joining in their laughter, red from embarrassment.

Clark had followed right after, laughing with them. “So that—“

Y/n couldn’t stop her laughter, even tears had come down her cheek as she stared at her brother so embarrassed, watching them.

“I can’t believe you fell for that!” Y/N had laughed.

Clark couldn’t stop giggling either.

“And by the way, thanks Clark,” Tom laughed, “you’re a real one.”

“I fucking hate you all,” James rolled his eyes.

“Now let’s go for the real one,” Tom had joked, probably with a death wish, but he quickly regretted it, “no, no, no, I’m joking! I’m joking!”

“You bet your ass you’re joking,” James warned before laughing again, defeated, “I hate you both.”

He had left with Clark laughing behind him, leaving y/n and Tom still laughing at their prank.

Laughing and laughing until they ran out of breath and laughed again.

“Shit, I love you so much,” Tom had said with one last breath after laughing.

“I love you, too,” she had said, “that was the best fake sex I’ve had in my life.”

“Hm, I’m pretty sure I’ve given you the best non fake one, too,” he had said cockily.

“Non fake,” she scoffed.

But then they’ve gone back to laughing, eventually somehow it transformed into kissing, and they had spent the night kissing, and giggling and nothing more, probably because they were aware that it was a very risky situation having James right beside and honestly, they were decent but mostly because they didn’t need more. Just the two of them laying down, and merging their lips together, becoming one with the other, was all they needed.

The next day was rather perfect, filming had gone as smoothly as it could go, and though they kept their distance because they were professionals, y/n could tell there was something different about her and Tom. Not sure what but it felt like things could work out. A ray of hope, if one must say.

There had been more cake, more people congratulating her for her birthday and just—Flowers. Sunflowers here and there, Along with blue hydrangeas. Pretty combination. Tom had made sure to fill up the place. She did love the sunflowers. Her mother calling her, auntie Eliza sending her pink carnations, it was—good. Especially after they told everyone about their prank, that made it even better.

“You do have that fake sex aftermath glow,” Emma had joked.

Perfect day, a perfect day until the sun was yawning down, she had put on her best clothes, and she was nervous. Not sure why though.

Tom had invited the cast as well. Nothing could go wrong, and it definitely wasn’t going to, right? Y/N had thought maybe it was a good day after all.

The place had been packed and the first song playing had been Ironic by Alanis Morissette, James had been the first one to point it out, he really liked that song. And though the combination of friends seemed like the perfect recipe for disaster, y/n thought it had gone calmly. At least at the beginning.

The club seemed to be picked out of y/n’s dreams, an 80’s and 70’s paradise playing the songs she loved to sing along to. There was a karaoke, too, in the background, separate from the dance floor. Honestly, the place was perfect. Fun.

And y/n had ignored Cherry’s presence as long as she could, she hadn’t been rude, but of course she’d been avoiding her, because the moment she saw her, y/n did feel insecure. She had shown up with a tight dress that gave nothing to the imagination, and her hair perfectly falling down her shoulders, her whole body shimmered. She was beautiful, beyond compare, perfect.

“Y/N!” She had greeted her. “I’m so glad I see you, I love your dress, hun, happy birthday!”

Her high pitched tone had only made y/n even more insecure. And y/n had seen her dancing, she’d caught Josh’s attention, it had seemed. Even Asa’s and Gregg’s attention. Because of course she would, the girl was perfect.

“Is Tim your boyfriend?” Cherry had asked y/n.

“What?” Y/N didn’t know if she’d heard right. “No… No, he’s not.”

“Oh, I thought he was!”

“Happy birthday!” Someone had yelled as they popped off a bottle.

Y/N could take care of Cherry later, who was actually picking out mostly everyone’s attention.

“Who is she?” Josh had asked her. “If it weren’t for Emma, I’d say she’s the prettiest girl in the world.”

There was a lot to unpack from Josh’ statement.

“That’s my cousin,” she explained. “She’s single, so why don’t you give it a go?” Y/N had suggested, knowing perfectly that if he did, she’d take away another problem. Because she’d seen Harry anxious the moment Josh had showed up.

Y/N didn’t know why she felt like Harry did know about Josh, she wasn’t sure but the same face Harry was giving Josh was the face Y/N gave to Cherry.

Initially, she had seen Cherry approach Tom, she had whispered something in his ear, and he had only gulped before walking off to one of his brothers. It made y/n anxious.

“You know what? You should go and sing Jolene,” Emma suggested, y/n could tell that Emma probably was slightly dizzy, as she had dragged her, Clark and Auli’i to the dance floor, a...very strange combination. Y/N was just a bit bothered by this, since she wanted to be with Tom, or rather, she wanted to pull him away from where Cherry was.

“Jolene?” Auli’i laughed. Felt rather weird for y/n hanging out with celebrities. Tom didn’t count… Not in that way, at least.

“Yes, Jolene,” Emma said. “I’m begging you please don’t take my man!”

“Your man?” Auli’i had asked. “As in Tom?”

Y/N chuckled. “Uh...Well….er.”

“Please, you’re dating, right?” She laughed.

Y/N didn’t answer.

“Please, it’s kind of obvious,” Auli’i explained. “You guys have tried to be subtle but we all know it.”

Well, there goes their attempt at trying to be professional. It didn’t matter, honestly. But it did bother her knowing that Cherry was the only girl in there, but thankfully, her own brother had kept Cherry occupied, thank god.

Y/N was also bothered by the fact Tom wasn’t by her side, just slightly bothered. She guessed, however, that he was having fun with his brothers. She wondered where Timmy was, because all she could see was the guys, and Cherry, at the table getting their asses drunk.

Especially Timmy.

Emma had dragged them back to the place, y/n had tried to get close to Tom, who had also tried to pull her close to him, but somehow she had been dragged away again. It was annoying, and the night kept going like that. She hadn’t had one single minute with Tom, and it was bothering her. Tom, too, it seemed.

Tom was very bothered by the fact that y/n kept being pulled by her friends, not that they were doing it to specifically bother him, but it was… annoying. Also, having Cherry around, was not a perfect situation, especially because she was insisting on talking to him. What in this world was she trying to do?

He didn’t want to deal with that, he only wanted to have fun. Besides, a club with loud music was definitely not the place to talk. Not on his… girlfriend’s? Birthday celebration.

The night was getting blurry, to him, to everyone. Half past twelve, it was getting darker, and the drinks had come and gone, drink after drink. Everyone seemed to be having a very good time, and he wasn’t sure but the lights on the club had probably lowered, flashes green and yellow were blinding him. The group was constantly divided, and he had had only a small chance to dance with y/n. The music was buzzing too loud, as he escaped through the crowds, trying to find y/n, and he saw her, dancing with everyone and then, Timmy had dragged her close to him, she didn’t even notice as she danced and sang along to the… 70’s, yeah 70’s song playing. Tom feared it, because it’s not difficult to know when someone wants to kiss the person you’re in love with. Tim was drunk, Tom knew this, and the look in his eyes was saying everything. And though he didn’t see that look on y/n, he feared it.

Tom quickly had pulled her by the hand and finally wrapped his arms around her so they could dance.

Tim had only rolled his eyes but kept dancing with Emma.

“Hi!” y/n had cheered as soon as she saw Tom.

“Hey!”

“Where have you been?” She asked, leaning to his ear.

“Here and there,” he admitted, she only giggled to lean over to kiss him.

Everything was going too quickly, the lights and music were not helping. They had barely danced before Emma had dragged y/n.

“I’m sorry, Tom, but it’s y/n’s and I turn to go to the karaoke!” Emma had said before getting her away.

“You were getting too comfortable,” Tom had barked at Tim.

“Pff,” Tim had scoffed. “You’re scared it’ll happen again?”

“What?” Tom frowned. “I’m-- she’s with me.”

“Yet she slept with me just before you arrived,” Tim had blurted.

Tom had felt the music getting louder, and louder, just as Tim had left and Tom was sunk into the dancing crowd.

He didn’t have to believe him… right?

In the state of shock, he only tried to follow after where Emma and y/n were heading.The karaoke music was playing, Emma had chosen ‘Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (A Man after midnight!)’ for her and y/n to sing, and they had started, happily singing as she was so unaware of what Tom was feeling right now. Not sure if it was anger, disappointment, jealousy, or all at once.

The group had followed after them, too, as they were expectant to see the birthday girl, first receiving a very flattering shot of… Tom thought it was probably vodka as soon as she got to the stage. Emma and her sang and yelled, and the group danced and danced. Emma being such a crowd pleaser, yelling and making them cheer.

Tom couldn't.

Is there a man out there? Someone to hear my prayers…

There was no sight of Tim, that was alright, he guessed. But then it… Tom’s mind went to every single time he’d seen her around Tim. It was so fucking obvious, of course they had slept together, and y/n probably still had feelings for him.

Tom was the only one who wasn’t dancing.

Emma had jumped off the stage to land on Josh, and then without even thinking about it, she had kissed him, right in front of Harry.

Sam and Clark had joined y/n on the stage, everyone was just too bloody drunk, and the song seemed to be never ending. Or maybe Tom hadn’t noticed when it had changed, it sounded like another ABBA song. And it was… ‘Voulez-Vous’. Now it was Y/N, Sam and Clark.

Tom didn’t even realize when Cherry was around him, and it probably was the alcohol working out but he danced with her. Not sure why.

Y/N saw it, right from the stage, but luckily Clark had been kind enough to dance with her as someone else had hopped to the stage to sing with them, now that y/n was definitely not able to sing.

And just as the song was ending, and as the next group of girls had popped on the stage, she saw it, perfectly happening, Cherry’s lips were on Tom’s.

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mrs-dynamight · 4 years ago

Text

Be Nice To Me 5

Part 4.

*************************************************

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem!Reader, Denki Kaminari x fem!Reader

Warnings: Eventual mature content, angst, hurt/comfort, love triangle, the reader is lowkey toxic, everything will be adressed in every episode (:

Chapter warning: Swearing, steamy make out session (borderline porn but not really), mentions of other couples form 1A

Chapter: 5/?

Synopsis: You're in love with your best friend Bakugou, and you're cofessing to him but things get a lot more complicated when Denki starts to treat you different *wink wink*

Word count: 3.9k

Author's note: This is sooo long, but I loved writing it, I deeply suggest you listen to the song of the title (here). I'm honestly living my coming-of-age indie kid fantasy with this chapter, as always any suggestion is welcomed.

Chapter 5 First Day of my Life- Bright Eyes

Thank to every single Deity that my weekend was packed with internship work so I didn’t have a minute to think about the emotions bubbling up in my heart and my mind, I came to my room exhausted and directly to sleep.

I didn’t talk to any of my friends that weekend, I had a couple of texts from the groupchats, in one of them there were unresolved questions about my date with Katsuki, and on the other one were the flashes for the Fridays gig and good luck wishes to Bakugo who was going to leave the morning after the show, so they planned a goodbye party in the dorms after the gig, Aizawa surprisingly agreed but under any circumstances we were allowed to having alcohol or any other illicit activity inside the UA facilities, not like that could’ve stopped my favourite trio of dumbasses, Mina, Denki and Sero were already planning on smuggle some liquor to the dorms, that was going to be one epic night.

Monday morning finally came, and as much I would love to just spend the day in my bed sleeping and watching Tiktok I needed education, my muscles were sore of the whole weekend roaming the city with Mirko, who seemed unable to getting tired, but I stilled reunited the forces to get dressed, brush my teeth and tried to look like a decent human being, emphasis in the tried part.

As I climbed down the stairs to the common room for a bite of whatever was in the fridge, I saw a beautiful ash blonde guy drinking his usual morning juice with protein powder.

-Morning Draw, you look like shit-

-Well you look handsome as ever ‘Tsuki, thanks for the kind words of the day, you know how to make a woman start the week in the best way possible- I replied while heading to the kitchen

-But seriously what is that Bunny forcing you to do on weekends? Crack? -

I didn’t reply but instead I just blowed him a kiss and start munching on a toast with excessive amount of jam, Tsuyu and Ochako were eating cereal next to Deku, the three of them saw my whole interaction with Katsuki with those weird eyes that just screamed “marry him already”, I told them I had to talk to them, and they all agreed that lunch time with Tenya and Shoto were the gossip time of choice, I waited for the girls to finish eating and we headed class.

------------------------------------

-YOU TWO FINALLY KISSED?!?- Ochako screamed with excitement

-Is he a good kisser? - Asked Deku pulling out his notebook in the “Kachaan” section

-How’s that relevant to the hero notebook? – I asked Deku

-Wait, isn’t he going to another country on Saturday? –

-Well yes Tenya, that’s the other thing I wanted to talk you guys about-

Then I started to explain the whole predicament of waiting for him and his words about that.

-Wow did he really said that having a girlfriend would be a distraction? - said Tsuyu with a concerned look on her face

I didn’t really thought about that harsh phrase, but it was Bakugo, right? He always says things that hurt other people’s feelings, that’s just him

-He sounded honest, but he shouldn’t have hurt your feelings like that-

-It didn’t hurt my feelings, Shoto, I’m used to him saying things like that all the time-

-That can’t be good Y/N, you can’t just get used to people hurting you, especially if you want to have a relationship, and a long-distance one, where things usually get a little tougher- Said Ochako

-I would consider wait for him to return Y/N, so that way you can both be clear about what you expect for each other- Deku said hiding his face in the Katsudon plate in front of him

I wanted to talk to them about what happened with Denki, but I was afraid they just said that I was overthinking, we’ve always been very close friends; but so were they, why was I so reluctant to talk about me and Denki? Maybe saying it out loud could somehow make it more real.

We finished our lunch and headed to class, the rest of the day went pretty neutral, as well as the rest of the week, but the thought of Bakugo leaving haunted me, he didn’t said or did anything special, we didn’t talked about our kiss or our lovely words, it was like it didn’t happen at all, we came back to being just friends. Denki was purposely avoiding me, I could notice it, anytime I wanted to talk to him he just made up some excuse and leave quickly, the rest of the Bakusquad was busy with the whole party preparations and the Dekusquad was as lovely as always, they told me a million times in that week that they will be there for me no matter what I choose to do; as for me, I was just as confused as Monday morning.

I didn’t wanna go to the party, or the gig, I just wanted to go to my room, listen to sad music, and feel pity for myself until I ceased to exist, but it was definitely off limits, I promised Denki I would go with him to the soundcheck, there was only this last one class, but I wasn’t really in the mood for maths, so I decided the best for me was head back to the dorms and stop thinking so much about everything, missing a class wouldn’t kill me.

When my life crumbles down there is only one thing in the whole world that could make me feel better, and that is loud music, so there I was, headphones to the max, airplane mode on, eyes closed and mouthing every word like a prayer, I felt like every lyric was washing away my worries and doubts, reassuring me that everything was (not) okay, I was so concentrated in my music I didn’t heard the knocking on my door, and didn’t heard a certain blonde calling my name, it was until I felt a big hand in my shoulder that I realized that Bakugo wasn’t in class either, but in my dorm room, with a worried face.

-Fucking dumbass, why aren’t you in class? You’re going to fail math, again-

-I wasn’t feeling like going to class- I said with a bit of guilt, it probably sounded like a lame ass excuse, but at least it was the truth

-Not feeling like going to class? What the fuck do you think this is, a game? Math is your worst subject and if you fail I won’t be here to tutoring you, you can’t fail-

He was worried, I could tell, he just turned every emotion in pure acidic rage, not like knowing this would make his words hurt less, I didn’t want to admit that the thought of being far from him made my heart ache and my eyes water, and it didn’t help the lack of contact of the week, I was looking forward to another one of his tender kisses, or any sign that what happened last Friday was real

-I’m hurt Katsuki, a week ago it seemed like you wanted to be with me, despite everything and this past days you were acting like nothing happened, I don’t know what to think or what to do, I don’t know what's going on with you, how are you feeling, you don’t say anything, you don’t do anything, you just hide your feelings away in your cocoon of rage-

-See, that is exactly why I didn’t want to kiss you in the first place, I knew it would only lead to problems, that’s the reason I didn’t want to tell you I liked you before going away, I knew you would react like this, I told you the truth, I can’t be your Boyfriend, I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings-

And surprisingly I found myself inside his big arms in a tight hug, his face hiding in the crook of my neck, I put my arms around his slim waist and we just stayed there for a solid ten minutes before breaking the contact.

-I don’t want this to hurt you Y/N, I can’t be with you right now, I can’t give you what you need, and as I told you the other night, I don’t want you wasting your time waiting for me-

-I don’t wanna let you go ‘Tsuki- I said with tears in my eyes

-You won’t, think it like this, if this is meant to be, and I know it is, when we see each other again, in a better place, in a better time, it will happen. I don’t know where or when, but I promise you we will be together, but please don’t throw your life away waiting for me-

- That sounded as if we were breaking up-

-We aren’t, this is only the beginning, I promise-

I was being selfish, it was obvious that this was also hurting him, he was being mature and caring, thinking about what was good for the both of us, before the things we wanted, maybe he was right, this was meant to be, just not right now, right person wrong time troupe right, but with a happy ending, right?

That was one of the most bittersweets moments in my life, I was happy to know that Bakugo thought about us as endgame, just like I did, we were still young, we had plenty of time, all the time in the world, I shouldn’t have worried about his feelings, he told me I should never doubt that he liked me, and I was willing to make that compromise.

-Let’s have a good time tonight, ‘Tsuki, for what I know, tomorrow you could be kissing some European woman and forgetting our promise-

-You get jealous that easy, Draw? Already afraid you’d lose me, huh? - He said with a smirk on his face and getting closer to me

I swallowed with nervousness, but I didn’t break the visual contact

-Aren’t you afraid I fall for another guy in the meanwhile? -

-You’ll have to find someone better than me first, and we both know there isn’t such thing, and besides that, you’re not mine, I don’t owe you, I only own the feelings you have for me, and as long as those exist I’ll do everything to be with you. So, that’s a no, I don’t care about any other guy- He said with his lips softly brushing against mines -But right now, I want to be the only thing in your mind- And saying those words he kissed me.

He wasn’t being gentle like the last time we kissed, there was a hunger, a neediness within his kiss, he wasn’t being rough tho, but I could feel the burning intensity in his movements. He pulled apart and looked into my eyes for any sign of discomfort, but when he met my half lidded gaze filled with love, he slammed his lips against mines one more time, his tongue brushed my lips asking for consent to enter my mouth, to which I responded opening it just enough for him to start moving it, massaging it with my own with a rhythmic pace, his hands travelled down to my hips, it seemed like he wasn’t nervous at all, but I on the contrary was almost shaking, we broke the heated kiss with flushy cheeks and sweaty hands, I looked into his eyes and I could see the lust behind his crimson irises. A million questions started bubbling in my mind, does this means he want to have sex with me? Right here and now? He must have noticed the concerned look in my face because his next words were

-Hey, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, sorry if it was too much-

-It wasn’t, it’s just I’ve never, I mean I haven’t… have you? – I asked with an obvious blush on my cheeks

-Just once, it wasn’t bad, but I figured out it could have been better if it was with someone I loved, like you. We don’t have to do anything tho, I just wanted to kiss you-

A strange relief passed my body, he didn’t want me to give myself to him in this exact moment, and I was glad for it, as much as I loved him I felt like this wasn’t the right moment for it, but I still wanted to do other things with him, I mean, this was his last day in the UA, and my first time making out with somebody, we still had a few of hours before the soundcheck. I lead him to my bed and pushed him into it so he could be sitting.

-Y/N are you sure you want to do this? – He wanted to be sure that there was no pressure in doing anything I didn’t want to

-We don’t have to go all the way in, I just want to make sure you feel loved and have fun on your last day, and besides, we already missed math class- And just as this last words escaped my lips I sat in his lap and started kissing his cheekbones softly, his hands went from his sides to my hips as he started to plant open mouth kisses in my neck, sending a shiver down my spine.

-And what about you? You want to feel loved too? – He said against my ear, nibbing at the lobe, I nodded softly, closing my eyes and giving myself in to the feeling of his strong hands in my body, his raspy voice in my ear and the feeling of his lust between my legs.

Our heated make out session made me forgot everything I had in my mind, I was only focused in Bakugo, I couldn’t even began to explain how loved he was making me feel in that moment.

-I have to go packing, but I really like your lips, see my problem here? – He said with a sigh, after a while -I’m actually not in the mood for a party tonight, I would rather having a good night of sleep-

-You’re so boring ‘Tsuki, you sound like an old man with two divorces who is starting to get bald-

-‘Tch, would you rather seeing me drunk and staying up late and doing dumb shit I’ll regret about when I sober up like the rest of those losers? –

-Yes! Only this one time, before you have to go away, let’s get drunk and watch the sunrise, then I could go on with my life in peace-

- Ugh and being hungover in a 7-hour fly? Really, that is your idea of a last night with me? –

I tried to make the best puppy eyes I could as I just said “pretty please” in the most dramatic way possible.

-UGH fine, but don’t you forget that you owe me something for being a fucking loser in Mario Kart-

-Anything for you ‘Tsuki- I said while planting a kiss on his cheek

With a smirk on his face he told me he would tell me what he wanted right before leaving, and I was okay with that, we said goodbye with one last kiss and he went to his dorm room to finish packing. Then I remembered I had my phone on Airplane mode, as I deactivated it I saw a bunch of unread messages, most of them were from my concerned friends asking if I were okay, I answered in the dekusquad groupchat that everything was fine, and immediately they began asking questions about Bakugo and me being both missing math class, I replied a single smiling emoji and they knew we were together. Denki messaged me about ten minutes ago “Hey Y/N I can’t wait for you to come to the soundcheck with me” followed by a cursed image of someone T-posing on top of a drumset, I couldn’t help but laugh, and I replied with an even more cursed image.

-------------------------------------------------------

I was in Denkis car, Katy Perry blasting through the speakers and Denki and I having a carpool karaoke singing Last Friday Night like our life depended on it, it felt like he hasn’t being avoiding me all week, there we were laughing and having a good time. The soundcheck was actually really funny, Jirou who is usually very quiet was obviously the leader, giving orders here and there, I wasn’t completely alone while the band was getting ready to perform, Momo was an official member of the band but she didn’t continue playing with them, but she never missed one of Jirous’ performances, they were obviously very much in love, I couldn’t help to notice the way she looked at Jirou the whole time, and I wondered if that was the same way I looked at Bakugo, I remembered the words that Tsuyu said to me, does everyone knew I was in love with Denki?...

Shit, my mind pictured Denki when my train of though was about Bakugo; it probably were because I was watching Denki plugging his guitar and waving at me at that exact same moment, or did I really thought of Denki when I was thinking about love? A feel of guilt started to build in my heart, just a few hours ago I was making out with Bakugo, and now I was watching Denki going different directions with cables and amplifiers and I couldn’t help but feel like I was in love with him. Momo probably noticed my worried expression because she asked me if everything was right, I just had to lie and tell her that I was okay when in reality I was panicking, I excused myself and went to the bathroom to splash some cold water in my face like the actresses do in every movie to calm themselves down, and apparently it worked, so with more confidence I walked out of the bathroom. When I came back to the table Momo and I were sharing I noticed that people were starting to arrive, I sat next to Momo again and tried to have a casual conversation about school, training, internships and just normal student stuff when I felt a well-known pair of hands covering my eyes.

-Hi Denki- I said as I chucked

-How did you knew it was me? – He genuinely asked

-How couldn’t I? -

-Hey Kaminari, we’re starting in ten- Said Jirou planting a kiss in her girlfriends’ lips

Bakugo arrived just in that exact same moment, I almost forgot he was also going to perform, I didn’t know how to act with other people around us, I wanted to kiss him, but I also didn’t want Denki to see it, I couldn’t help but feel like an awful person for my last thought.

-Hey Draw, long time no see you- Said Bakugo like his tongue wasn’t on my throat a few hours ago

I flipped him off with a smile and blowed him a kiss and continued talking with Denki about who would win in a fight between a bear and a shark, we were currently discussing how long the bear could hold his breath, I turned my head to look at Bakugo and he was already staring at us with the saddest expression I’ve ever seen, and as he noticed my eyes on him he changed it to his usual annoyed one

-You two are the dumbest persons I know- He said, giving us one of his angry looks

-Guys, we’re up- Said Tokoyami grabbing his guitar pick and heading to the stage

-Break a leg guys! - Said Momo giving Jirou one last good luck kiss

Bakugo winked an eye to me and went to the stage without saying anything, my eyes followed his figure to the stage when a sudden voice in my ear made me jump a little bit

-Keep your eyes on me- Whispered Denki in my ear before planting a kiss on my cheek

They started the show, the powerful voice of Jirou quickly caught everyone’s attention, they gotten better over the years, you could tell they were in their prime, usually my eyes were always fixed in the blonde drummer, but tonight they were mesmerized with Denkis fingers skilfully playing with his guitar chords, pearls of sweat in his forehead, a big smile on his face, and golden eyes all over me, he looked perfect.

Suddenly I began to notice everything the boy did, every time his voice intertwined with Jirous’ for a perfect harmony, every movement looked so natural and… sexy? I didn’t noticed I was holding my breath until I heard Shotos’ voice next to me, trying to be heard over the noise coming from stage

-Sorry we’re late, Tenya got lost-

I heard it, but my mind was somewhere else, it was in Denkis’ Kaminari palm. It was almost an hour of absolute bliss, without a single thought crossing my mind just the image of the boy in front of me. I heard the last song of their setlist and prepared for the usual announcement of the end of the show but instead they all waved and came down from stage, all except one, Denkis’ voice was a little shaky when he spoke on the microphone:

-Hi everybody! Thank you so much for coming today, hope you’re doing alright, now we don’t usually do this, but you’ll see, tonight is a very special night, the last one for a while because we’re going to be drummerless tomorrow morning, sooo anyways, I would like to sing a very special song for a very special someone who is here with us tonight, she’s just everything to me, Y/N this is for you-

I felt like I was on fire, the rush of blood went straight to my cheeks, I was suddenly shaking with nervousness, my palms were sweating and I swore everyone could hear my heartbeat, I didn’t wanted to look away from Denki, but I could feel my friends eyes on me. Was this actually happening? The first chords of Denkis’ acoustic guitar confirmed that it wasn’t a dream, his soft voice drowned every other sound, suddenly everything else went dark, it was only the two of us. I paid attention to the words he was saying, he was pouring his heart out, in front of everyone, for me

"Yours was the first face that I saw

I think I was blind before I met you"

This was a love song; Denki was telling me he loved me with every syllable coming out of his mouth and every note from his guitar

"And so I thought I'd let you know

Yeah, these things take forever, I especially am slow

But I realized that I need you

And I wondered if I could come home"

It was perfect, I couldn’t help but tearing up, nobody has ever done something remotely as romantic as this, he sounded so sincere, so drunk with affection, he was obviously nervous, but his eyes were fixed on me

"I'm glad I didn't die before I met you

But now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you

And I'd probably be happy

So if you wanna be with me

With these things there's no telling

We just have to wait and see

But I'd rather be working for a paycheck

Than waiting to win the lottery.

Besides, maybe this time is different

I mean, I really think you like me."

The last strumming of his guitar vanished in the air, and suddenly everything went back to normal, the people around us, the noises, the shocked faces in my friends faces, and the absence of Bakugo.

************************************************

Wowowow this was an emotional rollercoster, but what can I say I love drama, thanks to @warrior-princess1 for proof-reading this

Taglist: @mikasalt

#bakugou imagine #bakugou fic #bakugou headcanons #bakugou x fem!reader #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x reader #denki imagine #denki x you #denki x y/n #denki angst #denki x reader #denki x female reader #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #mha smut #bnha fanfiction #bnha x y/n #bakugou smut

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strugglingsophieee · 4 years ago

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What I’ve learned in 2020:

2020 was a year full of lessons, here are few mine:

1. Mental health is as important as physical health.

This year has been a total mess when it comes to my mental health. I’ve hit a rock bottom I never thought I would. The amount of stress that I had to go through this year because of my exams resulting in completely changing my life and because of covid of course, is truly indescribable for me. My panic attacks became the most daunting thing in my life. It got so bad, that I completely stopped myself from going out, even to get groceries. I thought “well this is what my life has come to- I’ll never be able to get out of my house ever again”. Fortunately, I was wrong. In mid - August I decided to seek professional help from a psychologist. I still go to her and I can proudly and honestly say that she has helped me so much in my anxiety- journey. I still learn how to cope with stress and panic attacks, but I see a huge progress between August and December. There’s still a long way for me to go, but I’m ready to tackle all the obstacles life has for me. 💪🏻

Why did I write this? I did this, because 2020 has shown me that mental health should never EVER be forgotten about. I used to never pay attention to it, I would always brush it off.. and well, me neglecting that part of my life has finally made an appearance this year with a double- strong impact. I feel like this year has been a total roller coaster for all of us. So many people experienced emotions they never thought they would experience. So many people noticed how caught up they are in their everyday life and don’t pay enough attention to their mental wellbeing. Taking care of my physical health was always somewhat important, but this year I realized that taking care of my mental health is just as important as physical activity. Please, if you need any sort of support don’t be afraid or hesitate to seek help from a professionals. 🌿

Here are some ig accounts I follow, which can bring you comfort as well:

https://www.instagram.com/wetheurban/

https://www.instagram.com/sunnybloominspiration/

https://www.instagram.com/myselflovesupply/

2. It’s okay to end friendships you don’t feel good in or get rid of people in your life who don’t feel supportive of you.

Let me tell you a little story. In high school (fyi I graduated this year) I used to be friends with these 3 girls, but in fact only one of them I could call my good friend. The rest 2 of them, just got on with us pretty well (well, more with the other girl). We used to be “best friends” since our first year till the very end. However, halfway through our friendship I noticed that I feel very lonely. These 3 girls used to stick with each other in school all the time, while I felt just like an addition to them. They literally have hundreds of photos together from different occasions (including prom!), and each and every one of them is without me. They used to meet during vacations, and write about it on our groupchat. I specifically remember when one of them couldn’t meet one day, and they instantly changed the date of the meeting. Then, when I wrote “hey I can’t meet you guys on this day :((” and I kid you not were like “aww that’s sad”… like.. what? Since you’re not changing the date does that mean I’m not as important to you as the other girl?..

To this day I don’t know whether they have any contact with each other, but I do feel like they do. Honestly, the number of times when I felt lonely in this “friendship” is insane, and I finally see that. I look at this period of time from a different perspective and honestly this entire “friendship” was just a sh*tshow in my opinion. I felt constantly judged by them, especially by this one girl who I just knew didn’t really like me but still referred to me as “friend” not to make any kind of fight. They would hardly ever support me or listen to me. They would make fun of my anxiety and my panic attacks. I feel like they were also limiting me at some point. What’s kind of funny is that they didn’t remember about my birthday but I did remember theirs. I would always care about them but they would never care about me.

As I said, I feel like they still keep in touch with each other. I limited any kind of contact with them and never spoke to them since like July. Even though we didn’t officially end our “friendship”… I feel like by parting our ways we somewhat did… and it feels so good to finally say that I’m free. Before you ask me “why didn’t I tell them how I feel earlier?”… well, I always felt like I am a burden and make a big deal out of nothing, but now as I look at this relation from a perspective…I should have done this a long time ago.

2020 was a huge year for me when it comes to friendships. I realized that my companion as a friend should be valued more than I thought. I will not waste any more time on people who treat me like that.. who don’t deserve to call me their “friend”. I’ll stand up for myself from now on. I am me, and if that’s not “enough” for you, then that’s your problem. 💋

3. It’s all about finding balance.

What I mean by that is that the same amount of effort you put in your work/ uni/ school should be the same amount of effort you put in your free time. After telling my therapist how much I worked throughout the week she told me that by the age of 25 I would be totally burned out from overworking myself. In fact I did experience this in June, when I used to study so hard for my exams, that not only I didn’t give myself any space to relax which resulted in my anxiety rising up but also I lost almost 8 kg due to stress. I don’t want to experience this ever again. It was a very dark time for me, which I’m still recovering from to this very day (see point 1.). Finding a balance between studying / working and giving yourself that “me time” is the key to staying sane for me. For example, I set some rules that I apply in my everyday life, one of them says: After 8 pm. I close my books and I finish studying for the day. I turn on my favorite show, grab snacks and just chill…Small steps like this can lead to a huge progress in the future and may help you stop that process of being overworked.

4. Self-care is not egoistic.. it’s absolutely normal.

No matter what that is, whether it’s working out, cooking, baking, going on a walk, doing your makeup / skincare routine or anything else.. Do whatever makes you happy and don’t feel guilty for it. We all deserve to have some time just for ourselves, especially in this crazy world we live in. 🧖‍♀️🌍

5. Don’t take anything for granted.

I feel like it’s self-explanatory at this point. Especially when it comes to health and your family. Life is completely unpredictable. A year ago I would never believe if someone would say “well.. this is what 2020 looks like”… Make sure to hug your family members a bit tighter, reach out to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while to see how they’re doing and most importantly- wear a mask! 😷

6. It’s okay to fail.

As Abraham Lincoln said "It's not about how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up." It’s okay to don’t feel amazing every day or to fail an exam. It’s all about what kind of lessons you get out of it and what you can learn from this experience. 💫

7. Don’t beg someone to give you attention.

As the saying goes “If they wanted to, they would”. As I said earlier, if me being me is not interesting for you.. it’s your loss. I’m not going to beg somebody to text me or send me an Instagram DM.. hell nah. 👸

8. It’s time to focus on yourself.

I think it’s time for me to finally put all the effort I’d put into making others happy into me. It’s time I keep on grinding with my uni stuff and my workout routine. It’s time to take care of my mental health. It’s time to find new hobbies and stick with them. It’s. Time. For. Me. 👏💖👑

Well, that’s it. I hope you guys found some of those advices / lessons helpful. Let me know what you’ve learned during this crazy year!

Stay safe,

Soph xx

#self care #2020 #life lessons #get motivated #motivation #high value woman #beautiful woman #glowup #selfworth #self love #note to everyone #love notes #notes #notes to self

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testicularmanslaughtrr · 3 years ago

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I kind of just want to...babble so pardon me I don’t really want to *talk* ironically given the subject matter I just want to confess myself and here seems like a good place for it so forgive me

Dunno why I’m apologzing, I know it’s my tumblr just a force of habit

My emotions have been so strange lately. It was weird having to tell my new...prescriber... counselor person that it’s hard to officially say my “mood” because I’m never in one constant state. One second I’m as close to fine as I can actively describe The next I am a sobbing panicking mess on the floor And another 5 seconds later I either feel nothing or I am laughing and having a good time. It’s a whirlwind and it’s confusing and honestly it has been making me very self conscious.

I suppose that goes hand in hand with many of my other fears and laments.

Lately I have felt very lonely. A feeling I haven’t deemed...allowed since I have somewhat isolated myself. The fear of being seen as a hypocrite is very real. I don’t want to be in a groupchat right now, not even one I created because it just made that lonely and unwanted feeling all the more unbearable. There’s no worse feeling than being miserable at a party, and that was the vibe. Surrounded by people I do ultimately like but Either my brain says it’s not the right interaction and or I just Want to leave the party. There’s other reasons sure, but I don’t want to think about that.

There’s this pit, this desire for interaction that I can’t fulfill and it’s troubling. I want to talk about my problems, I’ve been openly criticized about opening up but...Professional help so limited and among those I care about I don’t feel I have a place for that. I’m an overwhelming presence. I know this about myself, as much as people may try and soothe those anxieties I know I am. I have many many deep rooted issues I need to sort out, I am drowned nearly every day in my misery and my paranoia. None of these are easy to deal with Even less so to help carry. All those I trust with my more fragile tendencies are also those who suffer greatly. People I’ve promised I wouldn’t overburden with my struggles, people who I don’t *want* to constantly have to lean on People who have already told me they can’t handle my weight I don’t blame any of them for this, I blame myself mainly. No one should have to suffer my pain with me. Say what you want about “support groups” but How am I supposed to not feel guilty when I share my pain and have to see the tired look on someone’s face or hear their awkward silence when they don’t know how to respond? “I have a support system that helps take care of me. you should try it sometime.” Lately those words have been burned into my brain and I can’t unsee them and it’s torture As if that is really a luxury I have. I have never truly felt like I have had people able to take care of me. Possibly cruel to say but who in their right mind is equipped to take care of a mess like this? Such a volatile and...just truly stupid creature? I know I know, you shouldn’t say awful things about yourself it just solidifies it etc but Many honestly agree with me I’m not smart, I’m not wise, I’m... A Lot And i hate being a lot. I hate being this. I hate being unbalanced and stupid and impulsive Yet scared and panicked so often. I’m terrified I want to die I’m so afraid people are going to leave me I want to convince everyone to cut their losses and live their lives without me I’m so desperate lately from scraps of affection from certain people And at the same time I want to convince them why I’m unlovable and why I am not worth their time The duality of mental illness I suppose ha Last night was...so hard.

All of the last 24 hours has been so hard. My partner collapsed again, second technically third time in about 3 years? He acts like it was nothing, I shouldn’t worry I still sobbed hysterically and was terrified all night about losing him. My mind flooded with visions of his funeral What I would have to do without him Practically seething at him that he wasn’t worried Because to him he just blacked out and then was back It’s fine right?? He feels fine afterwards! I sobbingly wailed at him that he doesnt have to see his eyes go strange, the color and life leave his face, to see his body slump so heavily as he *stops breathing* He doesn’t understand when he comes to why I am prying his mouth open desperate to get air in him, why I’m sobbing and clinging at him to not leave me. He’s okay, he assures me We need to schedule him a doctor’s appointment Which falls on me to do the work, the research, the calls It always falls on me Appointments, cleaning, laundry, cooking, shopping etc etc etc It falls on me, the household burdens and I feel my back shudder The weight wanting to snap my spine and crush me beneath it I’m so fucking tired I’m so tired of being scared and angry and sad I either want to cry every second or I can’t make myself feel anything I know a lot of this is a chemical imbalance...but environmental factors certainly play a crucial role.

On top of that And realizing my best friend has moved which I am happ for my brain just hates being happy My father also once again drunk texted me thus leading me down the rabbit hole of both resenting my parents and feeling the shame of being an awful son. We’re really just a family of awful people. Ha It’s genetic I’m so tired I want to be happy, but also I don’t think I do? At the very least I’m not allowed. I’m afraid to be happy. I know what I want but I’m in no place to seek any of it. Fuck ups don’t have any room to ask for happiness. I have many things to say. To spit. But I must keep everything neatly folded. On top of that the fear of being happy and then ruining it Shattering it Very very real. At least at rock bottom I feel like it can’t get worse If things get good, I’m terrified. I will still strive to be better, keep pushing forward But gods I am so afraid of the future.

My this is Very long and unfocused If you did read this I am so sorry But thank you for letting me vent Something about a public diary is comforting Anyways I have a sandwich I have been neglecting to spew all of this

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bnhaclaimedmysoul · 5 years ago

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how would the bakusquad react to a friend with awful luck with love?

an anon requested: Hi! I was wondering if you could write a platonic bakusquad with a friend who has awful luck with love. Like painfully bad. Like manipulated for someone elses gain and thrown out like a tissue bad, on top of that they present the whole thing like a joke when shit hits the dan ex: "I will now only be answering to Boo boo the fool" over text. But in reality they're locked in their dorm sobbing after refusing to eat all day. Sorry if this is too specific. I may or may not be hurting.

characters: bakusquad ; katsuki bakugou, eijirou kirishima, hanta sero, denki kaminari, mina ashido

genre: fluff

note: call me a fuckin clown, i posted the draft and i– 🤡🤡🤡

but aaa, hopefully this piece makes up for it?? also i just wanted to say, i’m sorry if you are experiencing this. people are shit and that’s facts. you don’t deserve to be treated like garbage and if you need to vent out, we got you, love! hang in there, you’ll be stronger with time ♡

–– medusa.

bakusquad

- the moment you had first mentioned your interest over someone through text in your groupchat, they had fully supported you

- literally all spamming about how you were on your way to some love life

- except for bakugou, of course, he was being a grump as usual as he wasn’t much of a romance guy

- kirishima was out there supporting you all the way through bursts of motivation and how you should go and get with it

- mina goes on with teasing and a handful of heart emojis

- kami and sero, on the other hand, are on their usual trope of sending memes

- even adding in on how they can’t get on a date

- “you’re all losers, that’s fucking why.”

- “bakugou, you’re just as single as the rest of us here.”

- so when your sudden bouts of high emotions for said person falters, they can’t help but worry just a bit

- especially when your daily messages about your love interest slowly ceases

- then you grow distant, which immediately catches mina’s attention first

- she notices how you first seem to have quit your group’s tradition of walking together to first period up to hanging around during breaks

- it doesn’t take long before kirishima notices your absence during lunch breaks

- then comes bakugou, who outright expresses his irritation of how you don’t seem to have been taking your meals

- which leads to kaminari theorizing if something had gone wrong between you and your supposed love interest

- then it’s a whole fully lit lightbulb for the rest of them

- as much as they wished to ask what the problem was, they give you your space

- not because they were afraid of upsetting you or anything, they just respected your space assuming that the issue at hand was fresh

- their plan of giving you space for your head to clear didn’t last too long though

- not until you decided to message the groupchat that night

- which, by the way, died after you weren’t responding to the memes sent by kaminari and kirishima

- “i will only be answering to booboo the fool 🤡”

- which is followed by a single clowned meme

- that’s when they decide separately message each other to think of another plan to get you venting out

- after all, you shouldn’t be dealing with this alone

- that very night, you’re laying face down on the mattress, duvets tainted with fresh tears as soft music flowed freely from your speaker

- in short, you were a mess

- you hadn’t eaten the whole day and you were out trying to lie to everyone’s face of how you were okay

- only you were failing to completely reassure the rest of your classmates, especially your close group of friends, that you were alright

- how could it be alright? everything fucking hurt

- your glum train of thought is discontinued upon four knocks arriving straight from your front door and you are really, really, really in no mood to put up another façade for everyone else in the dorm

- “hey hun? it’s us!”

- “pinky, pipe down, we’re already out after curfew!”

- “shh!”

- “YOU SHH–”

- “you guys–... listen, we know you’ve been super down lately and we come bearing snacks. let us in? it’s been freezing cold lately and we’re here to cuddle–”

- “like hell we’re fucking cuddling- watch it, shitface!”

- they were really outside your door, concerned for your well-being

- and truth be told, they held snacks under their grips, trying to balance the array of delicacies they had smuggled

- as soon as you open the door, they all grin despite catching sight of your puffed visage and teary eyes

- once they set their snacks down, mina hurries off to immediately envelop you into an embrace, undoing the waterworks that come streaming out from locked lids

- the rest follow, save for bakugou who gets pulled in by kirishima

- “i hate you all.”

- “you should hate that dummy that broke your heart.”

- “that obvious, huh?”

- when you decide to calm down and settle into your bed of used tissues, you explain to the best of your abilities without breaking into another fit of bawling

- which fails as you give in to another weep once you finish

- they all have to restrain bakugou from kicking the shit out of the culprit after the story ends, which kind of makes you snicker at how feral he got

- but by the end of the night, they comfort you to the best of their abilities, giving out advice, feeding you with their pieces of junk food much to your dismay as you weren’t too hungry after heartbreak

- heck, they manage to make you laugh by the end of it all

- honestly, they’re the best people to be with after everything you’ve been through

- for the next few days, you’re heavily guarded by the squad

- bakugou staring every student that dares to look your way down with venom, sero trying to share some stories to get your mind off of things, kaminari sharing endless memes, kirishima doing his best to get you back to eating three or four meals a day while mina roasts the dumbfuck who broke your heart nonstop

- in the end, it isn’t easy getting over certain people who break your heart and cause your trust for people–or even the world and its habitants–to diminish

- as difficult as it is, you’re really left with no choice but to pick yourself up

- with the help of your friends, of course

382 notes · View notes

blackhakumen · 4 years ago

Text

Mini Fanfic #454: Another Phantom Thieves GroupChat (Persona 5)

Ren: Morning my peeps.

Makoto: Good Morning everyone.

Ryuji: 'Sup.

Yusuke: Good Morning.

Futuba: Yo!

Haru: Hello.

Mona: Morning.

Ann: Good morning to you too, my beauties!~ How's our favorite married couple doing on this fine day?

Makoto: We're not married, Ann.

Ren: But back on the question at hand, I say we're both doing great. Especially my queen right beside me :)

Makoto: Yes. Well.... I'm doing a lot better now than I was yesterday actualy.

Haru: What do you mean by that? What happened?

Makoto: Nothing too serious. I went to the cemetery to visit my father.....

Haru: Oh my.....

Ann: Aww.....

Yusuke: Oh dear....

Futuba: :(

Ryuji: Damn.....That must've been pretty tough for you to go there, wasn't it?

Makoto: It was. In fact, I even expected to walk back home depressed......

Haru: Makoto.......

Makoto: But I am so glad that I was wrong, because Ren was right by my side that day and made everything better. He even took me to a nearby fair afterwards and won me a huge, stuff Buchimaru-kun plushie!

Makoto: Uploaded Buchimaru-kun!!!.jpg

Ann: Awwwwwwwwww!!~

Haru: It looks sooooo cute~

Futuba: And frickin' huge!

Makoto: I know, right?! It's soft, fluffy, and I love it!~

Ryuji: Man, you are literally doing everything to make the prez happy, huh bro?

Ren: Hell yeah I am, bro. Makoto's my Queen and I love her.

Ann: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!~

Haru: So precious~

Ren: Uploaded AKissFromMyQueen.jpg

Yusuke: Beautiful.

Futuba: Oh barf.

Ann: Okay, Seriously! Are you sure you two aren't married yet?!!!

Makoto: Yes, Ann. I'm sure. We're just a couple who loves each other very much.

Ren: We also cuddle :D

Makoto: A lot apparently lol

Futuba: Honestly...... You two are too Adorkable for your own good.

Mona: Adorkable? What the heck does that mean?

Futuba: I'm glad you ask, Kitty-Bro.

Morgana: When will you ever stop calling me that?

Futuba: Never!! :D Now as what I was saying, Adorkable is a mixture between being cute and acting like complete dorks at the same time. Which is exactly what those two clowns on my left are right now!!

Makoto: You'll never gonna let us live this one down, are you?

Futuba: What do you think? >:)

Haru: Well, regardless, I'm really glad you're feeling much better now, Senpai. I know how difficult it could be to think about your father's passings sometimes..............

Ryuji: Haru, I'm starting to see a lot of ellipses on that sentence. You alright?

Ren: Yeah. Did something happened?

Haru: I'm okay, everyone. Really. I was just thinking a bit about a terrible dream I had last night. About my father.....

Makoto: Haru.....

Ann: Sweetheart.......

Futuba: :((

Haru: Please do not worry, everyone. I really am okay. In fact, I'm feeling so much better now that my precious little Knight is with me.

Futuba: "Precious Little Knight?" You're talking about Mona?

Mona: She is, actually. I was able help her get through the night.

Ryuji: For real?

Morgana: Yeah. I saw Haru crying on the kitchen table, so I decided to help out. I originally wanted to try making her coffee, but she was worried that I might hurt myself. So we talked instead.

Haru: And words cannot express how blessed and thankful I am of the talk Mona-Chan and I had last night. It really made my day so much better today :')

Ann: Awwww~

Ryuji: Well whaddya know? The cat does have a heart after all lol

Mona: Of course I have one, Skull. Haru was sad and I did everything I could to help her. Because she's important to me. Just like each and everyone of you here.

Futuba: :O

Ren: Mona, you really mean that?

Mona: Of course I do. We've been through a lot together that.....I already considered you all as family. I know it sounds weird to say, but it's the honest truth.....

Futuba: Okay. Haru, remind me to give this kitty some hugs and kisses the next time I see him please!

Ann: Yeah! Me too!

Haru: Why, of course. But I'm afraid you must wait your turn. Because I'm already giving him love right now!

Haru: Uploaded MeAndOurPreciousMona-Chan.jpg

Ann: My God! Can this day get any more precious?!!

Makoto: Given what's happening in this chat right now, I would say so, Ann lol.

Ren: I believe it. Also, look at us. We're already starting to act like a huge family, don'tcha think?

Yusuke: I believe so, my friend. It seems that our friendship and bond have gotten stronger to the point of that being the case.

Futuba: I agree! I see every last one of you as my actual family! Mona as Little Kitty-Bro, Ann and Haru as doting Big Sisters, Ryuji as a Big Bro, Inari as Inari, Sojiro as Coffee Dad, and Ren and Makoto as Older Siblings who just gotten themselves married.

Makoto: For the last time, Ren and I are not married!!

Ann: Well, shit, Makoto! You might as well be! The both of you are too cute together!!!

Ryuji: Plus, you guys are already acting like one. Soooooooooo......

Ren: That's cause we love each other very much. I mean, granted, I guess you could say that our love has gotten stronger to the point of having that assumption come up, but still.

Futuba: You knooow.........

Ann: What?

Ryuji: What is it?

Ren: Futubaaaaa.....Why am I seeing a giant ass smirk on your face, young lady?

Futuba: I meant to tell you guys about what happened last year.....

Makoto: Oh no......

Yusuke: About what, exactly?

Ren: Nonono.....

Futuba: About the time.....

Ren: Futuba Sakura, don't you dare!

Futuba: My so called "cool" big brother, Ren.....

Ren: I swear to literal Arsene!

Futuba: Had indefinitely...... Blurted out.....

Ren: Jesus Christ, Futuba! Stop!

Futuba: THAT HE WANTED TO MARRY MAKOTO ON SCHOOL THAT DAY!!! :DD

Ann: Oh.......My.........GAWWWWWWD!!!!!

Ryuji: LMFAO!! Holy Shit, Dude!! Seriously?!

Haru: Oh my goodness, that's absolutely wonderful!~

Mona: Congratulations?

Makoto: Yes. What Futuba is saying in this chat is the absolute truth. And now my boyfriend is laying down on my lap in complete, utter embarrassment as we speak. And yes, it's adorable.

Makoto: Uploaded MyPreciousEmbarrassedJoker.jpeg

Ren: Makoto, please.....

Makoto: Well, it's the honest truth, my dear. You are being adorable right now. Not that I have any problems with it, mind you ;)

Ren: Well, excuse me for having a little sister blurting out the most embarrassing moment if my life.....

Futuba: Hey, don't blame the messenger, big bro. I'm just stating out the facts.

Yusuke: The picture you showed us is somewhat exquisite and fascinating. Would you made if I borrow this as inspiration of my upcoming artwork?

Makoto: By all means, Yusuke lol. Just try not to go too extreme with it, okay?

Yusuke: I will try my best.

@keyenuta

@26shann

@miki-13

@albion-93

@cyber-wildcat

@princeoflions123

49 notes · View notes

scullysexual · 4 years ago

Note

I want to join your rewatch but I’m afraid of not fitting in or anything. You guys seem like you have your own in-jokes and I’ve been looking for friends in the fandom for so long so do you know any other people who do a weekly rewatch?

There’s an American (I think) rewatch that happens Sunday. You can usually find the posts made by @knowleitall-super-soldier That being said...

Give my one a go. I understand how daunting it is to feel like you’re invading an already established group but we’re always looking for new people- it’s open to everyone at any time (and we’re getting into the good seasons now) that’s why I post the link every week. Honestly, give it a go. You’ll never know if you fit in if you don’t join ;)

The rewatch has a general groupchat-type thing attached to it which is where a lot of our in jokes come from but as for the rewatch itself, it is literally just @mypanicface thirsting over Scully and a lot of newer jokes come from the episodes we’re watching on the day so don’t be intimidated by it. I’m also always free to message privately too

#asks #rewatch asks #nonny

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give-me-back-my-rhodey · 5 years ago

Note

[I know I just said 2 seconds ago in the groupchat that I couldn't think've anything, but then I saw ya list lmaoo, one'a my favourite quotes] 8.) De Nile is just a river in Egypt with (pre) Winteriron? | Maybe rhodey&tony brotp or steve&bucky brotp(both?) and some good ol' Winteriron Mutual Pining idiots 😂 🖤🖤🖤

Hi! Thanks for the prompt! I hope you don’t mind that I made it a bingo fill! :)

Title: De Nile

Collaborator Name: Ducky

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24048013

Square Filled: O4 - Pining

Ship/Main Pairing: Bucky/Tony

Rating: Teen

Major Tags & Triggers: Pining, Betting on Friends

Summary: Rhodey needs Bucky and Tony to understand that their attraction is mutual.

Word Count: 1234

De Nile

“Bucky Barnes? Pfft, I don’t like him,” Tony shoves Rhodey. “I wasn’t even staring at him. I spaced out and happened to be faced in his direction.”

“De Nile is just a river in Egypt, Tones. You forget that I’ve known you since you were fourteen. I know what you look like when you’re pining.” Rhodey counters.

“Fine. I think he’s smoking hot, and I would love to sit on those thighs, even if only to platonically perch there, but he doesn’t like me,” Tony mourns. “He is like wayyy out of my league.”

Rhodey opens his mouth but Tony cuts him off, “Uh-uh-uh! I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’d rather not dwell on it. Please, let’s go find the spiderkid and the barrel of trouble.”

Shaking his head, Rhodey glances back over his shoulder at Barnes, who is still staring, but he follows Tony out of the room. Pining idiots.

++++++

Rhodes is going to kill me. Bucky thinks as the colonel sends one last glare over his shoulder. He groans and drops his head into his hands.

“Hey, what’s wrong,” Steve plops down in the chair beside him.

“Why am I here? I clearly scare Tony or at the very least make him uncomfortable,” Bucky stops when Steve coughs. It sounds something like “yeah-in-his-pants” and Bucky tilts his head, “Excuse me?”

“I had something stuck in my throat,” Steve lies. “But honestly, Tony doesn’t mind you here. If he did, you wouldn’t be here.”

“Why does Rhodes keep glaring at me then?”

Steve sighs, “I don’t know, Bucky, but you’ll be ok. I think you’re just insecure because you have a hopeless crush on Tony.”

“I don’t know how everyone doesn’t. He’s awesome. He’s so smart and kind and easy to talk to, and that ass is delicious.” Bucky sighs dreamily.

“Why don’t you tell him that?”

“He’s the epitome of perfection, and I’m an amnesiac assassin. You do see how that will never work out, right?” Sometimes Bucky thinks Steve lives with rose-tinted glasses.

“And if he -hypothetically- confesses his undying love to you?” Steve queries. “Would you tell him that he’s wrong for loving you?”

Bucky snorts, “I’m not an idiot, Steve. I would spend the rest of my life trying my best to make sure he doesn’t regret loving me. But as that will never happen, I don’t need any false hope.” He gets up and leaves, heading to the gym to take his stress out on a few punching bags.

++++++

“We need to do something about those two,” Rhodey groans.

Sam agrees, “I know, but how? We’ve tried almost everything we could.”

“I have a brilliant idea,” Wade speaks up. “We should have a betting pool on when they will get together. It always works in these situations.”

“How did you even get in here?” Bruce asks. “You know what? I don’t want to know. I have so many questions about you, Wade, but I’m afraid of the answers I’d get. But I am in for the betting pool. I’ve got fifty bucks on Tony making the first move before the year is over, but not until after October 14th.”

“Oddly specific, but I’ll take it. Fifty bucks says Tony before October 14th, but after July 31st.” Clint puts in his prediction.

One by one, the Avengers each place their bets. “So, what are the rules?” Rhodey asks.

“Normal betting-on-friends’ rules,” Wade tells him, as if he should know them. When Rhodey looks at him confusedly, he groans. “Ugh, how do you guys not know these things? Ok – no tampering, no dropping hints – we have to let them figure it out themselves.”

Harley cackles, “I am going to be rich. They will never figure it out themselves.” The bet is on.

++++++

Rhodey is getting tired of hearing Tony wax poetic about Bucky’s thighs or his eyes or anything else. He wants to tell Tony to just tell Bucky. He doesn’t even care if he doesn’t win the bet. Anything would be better than listening to Tony right now.

“Why is he so beautiful and out of reach, Rhodey?” The genius whines. “And he’s like just my type.”

“If he’s your type, how do you know you’re not his?” Rhodey groans.

“Come on, Sour Patch, he’s had more than enough trauma in his life. He doesn’t need to be in a relationship with me.” Tony argues.

Steve walks in, and Tony spins to greet him, “Hey Cap!” Rhodey makes a ‘kill-me’ motion behind Tony’s back, and Steve laughs.

“Hey Tony, have you seen Bucky around?”

“Why do you think I would have seen him?” Tony questions, voice a tad loud.

Steve raises his hands, “I… was just asking.”

“You could ask FRIDAY,” Tony says petulantly.

“Right. I’ll… do that. Thanks, Tone.”

Tony turns back around when Steve leaves. Rhodey knows he has a shit-eating grin on his face. “Wow. You got defensive, didn’t you?” He asks.

“Shut up, Platypus. Steve is already disappointed in me. I don’t need him to hate me because I’m hopelessly in love with his best friend.”

A glass shatters in the doorway. Rhodey looks up to see Bucky standing there, a shattered plate on the floor. Tony gulps. “Oh. Bucky.” He jumps up and runs from the room.

Bucky looks down at the floor, then to Rhodey. “He… was lying, right? He can’t like me. He’s too good.”

A voice that sounds like Wade’s says No tampering, but shut up Wade. I have the fate of my best friend in my hands. I’m not screwing this up. Rhodey sighs, “Listen man, you need to talk to Tony about this. If he doesn’t let you in now, give him a day or so. You know how to sneak in anywhere.” He steps over the shards, pats Bucky on the shoulder, and walks out of the room.

++++++

“Tony?” Bucky finds Tony sitting with his head in his hands on the couch in his workshop.

“I’m sorry, Bucky. You never were supposed to know. I can move back to Malibu. Whatever it takes to help you feel better around here. You don’t need me fucking up your life.”

“So you mean it? You love me?” Bucky questions, daring to hope.

Tony refuses to look at him, but after a few minutes’ consideration, replies, “Yes, and I am so, so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I am completely and irrevocably in love with you as well. I just didn’t want you to know because you are perfection, and I am… decidedly not.” Bucky sits down beside him.

Tony glances over at him now, “You – you are? And I am not perfection. I’m the most fucked-up one here. I’m a monster.”

“Hey, no you’re not. Don’t talk about the love of my life that way. I might get sad.” Bucky pulls him into a hug. “How about this? We go get dinner, and we don’t think either of us is worse than the other. We can be broken together.”

Tony hugs him tighter, “Sounds good to me.”

++++++

“Hah! I win! I told you it would be on the June 15th!” Wade whoops. “Pay up.”

Everyone else pays him. “I don’t know how you knew this would work,” Sam tells him, “but it did.”

“And accurately so…” Strange eyes Wade. “You don’t, by any chance, see the future, do you?”

Wade just smirks and walks out of the room.

#winteriron #starkbucksbingo2020 #trashcanakin #i write!#mutual pining #betting on friends

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btxtreads · 4 years ago

Text

ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji @qtsoobin @beomberry @txtdiaries and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: -

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

#tags #tagging #tagged yet again #sadjkjksdajad #what a mess #im so basic wtf

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inuykago · 5 years ago

Text

lady friends?

inuyasha pride month 2020 ::

day 2 - lesbian + day 10 - kagome

thinkin of kagome and sango together makes my heart flutter. please accept this one shot I wrote for pride month ヽ(^◇^*)/

inspired by dailyau prompt:

I thought I just didn’t like relationships but turns out I’m actually super gay AU

for reference! kagome inspo. sango inspo.

{kagsan. modern college au. 3,050 words. ff.net / ao3.}

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I hate college.

The classes are dragging, professors don’t care about study guides or reviews (do they want me to fail?), and, to top it all off, I’m alone.

Not that I can’t be by myself, but there’s friend groups here, friend groups there, a couple right next to me, and all of them look at me like, “Poor freshman, why doesn’t she have anybody?”

Well, everybody, I do have people! There’s Ayumi, Eri, and Yuka … but, I chose a different college than them…

Yeah, they all stuck together… B-But we still talk every day in our “Gal Pals 💕” group chat. Well, they do understand each other more than I do… since I’m out here by myself… but it’s fine.

I’m fine.

“Ms. Higurashi!” I snapped out of my thoughts, releasing my pen from my bite. Uh oh, did he notice I wasn’t paying attention?

“Y-Yes professor?”

The man crossed his arms as he gripped the smartboard marker, “Since it looks like you’re thinking so hard-” I really wasn’t “-can you name me some baroque-style paintings?”

“Of course,” I had to act confident. “Well, there’s the one painted by…” Shit, did we even learn a baroque painter? “Uh…”

Riiiinnnnggg!

“Hmm, saved by the bell,” he said.

Thank God.

I rushed to close my pink laptop and carelessly dropped it into my yellow bookbag. I refused to give my professor a chance to pull me aside after class because (1) I know I’m not a bad student (so please don’t talk to me like I’m one) and (2) I may have a heart attack if he tries to say otherwise.

As I got up, something knocked me in the head.

“?????” is basically what I said to myself as I bent down to pick up the crumbled piece of paper. “Are we in middle school?” I rolled my eyes and straightened it out.

PARTY AT INUYASHA’S DORM-

“Oi!” a guy shouted as he and another ran up beside me. “S-Sorry, that wasn’t…. Uh…. meant for you.”

Of course it wasn’t.

“No worries,” I smiled, handing back the middle-school note. Honestly, me? Party? Yeah right.

“Say, this invitation doesn’t have to go to waste,” said the guy from behind. His short ponytail, bangs, and gold earrings distracted me for a second. “Hmm…,” he looked at me from head to toe. “Well, you’re just as pretty as the girl we were trying to give it to,” he gave me a smirk that made me uncomfortable. “See you there,” he threw his arm around me and squeezed me.

Should I elbow or kick him?

Well, he’s gone already. Perv.

Finally getting out of that classroom, I minded my business walking through the crowded hallway. I guess let me take another look at this oh-so wonderful invitation:

PARTY AT INUYASHA’S DORM

10 P.M., BRONISLAW HALL

PLEASE BRING LADY FRIENDS 😉

Yeah, I was right. He’s probably a perv.

The next day…

“How is it already 7 p.m.?” I rubbed my eyes, waking up from a long-needed nap.

Those two tests today really killed me, I guess. I’m just not cut out for history nor business marketing.

I sat up from my bed and looked at the empty other side of the room. My roommate never moved in. I don’t know if I should be happy or feel even more lonely??

“Ah well,” I shrugged.

I could see the sharpie-written note “PARTY AT INUYASHA’S” on my cluttered desk. “PLEASE BRING LADY FRIENDS” was ringing in my ear for whatever reason.

“Should I even go?” I asked myself. Well, when in doubt, turn to the Girls.

[ Groupchat: Gal Pals 💕 ]:

Ladies!!! I need help 😩

Ayumi 💛

Anything for my kags!!

Eri 💓

Spill!!

Yuka 💜

👀👀

Sooo I was kind of (???) invited

to this party on campus. Was told to bring lady friends.

Can any of my lady friends plsssss join me??

Eri 💓

Any cute boys?

Ayumi 💛

^^^^^^

Yuka 💜

^^^^^^^^^^^^

Ehhhhhh, i don’t know. Probably??

Yuka 💜

I wish you told us sooner kags :/ … we’re going

to a party tonight too

Aahhh, no worries! It cant be helped.

Have fun gals, pls be safe 🥺 and

someone please keep an eye on eri…

you know how she is drunk 🙄

Ayumi 💛

You got it mom

Eri 💓

*rolling eyes gif*

😘😘

Well, there’s my answer to that, I guess.

(THE LAST FOUR HOURS BEFORE THE PARTY:1

7:37 P.M.

-- Kagome binging Maid Sama on Netflix, wrapped in a blanket, eating popcorn --

Yeah… I’m not going.

8:37 P.M.

-- Kagome watching The Notebook, crying, on her couch --

I [sniffle] just want [sigh] love.

9:37 P.M.

-- Kagome lip syncing to “I’ll Kill You” by Summer Walker ft. Jhene Aiko, wearing her rose gold beats --

🎶 Dooon’t, have me lookin’ foolish, dooon’t, have me lookin’ stuupid 🎶

10:37 P.M.

-- Kagome, bored, scrolling on Instagram --

Eh. Whatever, I’ll go.

END:1 )

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ah, the smell of booze and desperate boys. So this is college life.

Inuyasha’s place was a four-man dorm. There had to be like 40 to 50 people here already, and I’ve never seen any of them before. Yay, Kagome.

The music was pounding and all I could see were guys on girls, girls on guys, and, the occasional, girl on girl action. I shoved my way through the sea of people, eventually getting some breathable room near the small table in the corner that had Hennessy, Tequila, and Bacardi Rum.

Well, if I’m choosing my poison, tequila and sprite it is.

“Keh, Tequila and sprite?” I turned around because who the hell was talking to me? “I like your taste.”

His fluff white, silver hair was one of the few things that stood out in the near-complete darkness. He sipped his (henny and coke?) drink and leaned on the table, eying me up and down. Is that all boys do?

"I’m Inuyasha,” he smirked, taking another sip and fixing his backwards red dad hat. “If you didn’t know that already.”

Why did I decide to come again?

“Thanks for the housewarming,” I mouthed sarcastically. “But the bathroom is calling my name so-” I nodded my head to the side and shuffled to anywhere but there. But before I could even move --

“Oi, you don’t wanna talk a bit? Get to know each other?” he put his hand on my wrist. Why do they keep thinking they can touch me?!

I ripped out of his light hold, “Sorry, not interested.”

“W-Why you--”

“Inuyasha!” great, reinforcements. “There you are, have you seen all these ladies?! I’m so h-” oh even better, it’s the Perv No. 1. “Ah! You came,” he nudged Perv No. 2. “I knew you wanted to see me again.”

“As if,” I rolled my eyes. “Now, unless you want me to urinate on your floor,” I raised my glass and gave a sarcastic smile. Jeez, I really wasn’t wrong about the desperate boys.

The two bozos stepped in my way again as if I wasn’t cornered already (think: lap dances to my right; twerking to my left; beer pong behind me). And this is why I prefer my books and Netflix.

“If you think I find this flattering,” I raised my brow, sipping my drink. “I don’t.”

“Feisty,” Inuyasha nodded his head and Perv No. 1 did that weird smile again.

Should I kick them? I should kick them.

Before I could Inuyasha began to lean in, “Yeah alright, woman, suuure you will.”

“LEAVE MY GIRLFRIEND ALONE, YOU DICKS”

Eh?

“Ah, shit, Sango,” Inuyasha awkwardly scratched his neck. “You got a girlfriend already? Jeez woman.”

Perv No. 1’s mouth practically dropped to the floor, “W-What??? This goddess has a girlfriend??” he hung his head in disappointment. God bless this “Sango” chick. “Inuyasha, why didn’t you tell me?? SHE was the one I was trying to invite but then--” he eyed me in disappoint “--well we got her.”

“Excuse me?” Men.

“I got it, sweetie,” she winked and rubbed my cheek. God, why is my heart pounding? “I see either of you talk to her again and I’m ripping lil’ tweedledee and tweedledum off of you, ‘kay?”

She held my hand. Is my palm sweaty? A-Am I doing this right??

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, snatched his drink, and dragged Perv No. 1 away, whose mouth was still on the ground, “Whatever. C’mon, Miroku, the night ain’t over yet.”

“T-Thanks for saving me,” wow, she’s kinda cute.

She smiled and squeezed my hand. I didn’t mind this at all… but why is that?

“Of course, us girls gotta look out for each other, right?”

I felt myself get warm, and frankly I wasn’t sure if it was the tequila or because I was blushing. For the first time ever, I didn’t know what to say. Like, I was afraid of saying something weird and creeping her out… why is that?

“I hate guys,” she tightened her thick ponytail. “They think they’re so big and tough.”

“R-Right?!” we both laughed, and I could feel myself getting giggly. Was it the alcohol? Yeah, Kagome, of course it is.

She made herself a drink: rum and coke. She took a sip and I found myself staring at her, jeez I have to say something before I creep her out--

“So, where’s your friends?”

I snapped out of my thoughts, “Oh, they couldn’t make it… Kinda chose to come here last minute.”

She shifted her weight onto one leg, whew I really like her outfit. “Came to a back-to-school college party by yourself?” she nodded in approval. “I was wrong, you do have guts,” she sipped her drink, her lip gloss staining the red cup. “I like that.”

Uh oh, there goes my heart again. Think, Kagome, say something, be cute. Be cute. “I’m Kagome by the way.” Really, that’s it?

“Sango,” she held out her cup and I met it with mine. We both laughed again.

When our giggles died down it looked like a light bulb turned on inside her head. “Let’s go have fun!” she threw down her drink and interlocked her hand with one of mine.

?!?!??!?!??!!?! is what I yelled in my head and, sweet Jesus, there goes my heart. I shouldn’t have watched The Notebook earlier.

Sango dragged me and I couldn’t stop the fuzzy feeling. We were inside of the makeshift dance floor -- how can anyone enjoy this body heat?! -- and she just started going.

“La Romana” by Bad Bunny made the house speakers -- and just about everyone, including Sango -- jump. Her body was moving to the beats as she shouted the lyrics into the air.

I was trying to let my body loose like her, but sheesh I couldn’t keep up!

🎶 PASAME LA HOOKAH, EH! 🎶

She chugged the rest of her drink and so did I. I think I need more liquid confidence.

Four drinks later…

“Are you having fun?!” Sango yelled in my ear, laying her hand on my back, trying to bring me closer. I may be a bit drunk at this point, but I know I can feel my heart pounding again.

“Yes!!” I giggled into her ear, moving my hips to the fast beat. I don’t even know what song is playing, but my body is going with it.

🎶 IF THEM BITCHES ‘ROUND YOU, BETTER BE BLOOOD

IF AIN’T ME OR YOUR MAMA, SHOULDN’T BE SHOWIN’ YOU LOVEE

PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I KNOOOW THAT I’M STINGY 🎶

“IS THIS?!-” my eyes widened in excitement, the song still in the background.

“SUMMER WALKER?!” Sango pushed her face near mine. If I wasn’t so excited about the song I’d probably be fainting right now.

“AND JHENE AIKO??” we exclaimed in unison.

We both immediately closed our eyes and put our hands to our chests, literally singing our hearts out to “I’ll Kill You,” aka my favorite song.

For the first time at the party, I felt like myself. My hopeless-romantic-who-couldn’t-sing-but-adores-r&b self. I don’t know if it’s the fifth cup of tequila and sprite, the Goddess Summer Walker, or Sango looking so dang attractive that’s making me feel bubbly, but I just… let loose.

🗣I BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR A LOOOOVE LIKE THIS

I BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR A LOOOOOVE LIKE THIS

“Ka-go-me!” Sango shouted as she smiled at me, nodding her head in approval.

I want to serenade her… Yes, Kagome, let’s serenade her.

🗣FUCK THAT MY BABY YOU ALLL MINE

GREATEST OF ALL TIME

YOU BETTER TELL THEM HOES, “FALL IN LINE”

I DO NOT PLAY ABOUT MINE

My voice is as angelic as Jhene right now. My arms -- with my near-empty sixth drink -- are wrapped around Sango’s neck and she’s smiling so big; I don’t know how my arms ended up here, but I… don’t want to let go.

I should keep going. Yes, keep going.

🎶I WANT YOU FOR LIIIFFFEEEE

DOOONTT, HAVE ME LOOKIN’ FOOLISH

DOOOONTT, HAVE ME FEELIN’ STUPID

Sango ran her fingers through my hair and just kept on giggling. “Okay, Ms. Jhene, let’s get out of here.”

“W-What?!” I let go of my grip. “W-Why are we l-leaving?” my words felt like it wasn’t coming fast enough out of my mouth. “T-The party j-justed start-ted!” I went for a last sip but she grabbed it so fast from my hand.

“H-Hey!” I tried to snatch it back but she was too damn fast. She’s lucky she’s cute.

Sango put down the cup on the corner table. She moved a piece of hair out of my face, “You’re suuuuuper drunk.” She laughed at me, making me even more flustered.

“I-I am n-not!”

“Do you realize how slurred your words are right now?” They are not. “Come on,” she lightly grabbed my hand. “Time for bed, princess.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I don’t know how I ended up back in my dorm room, but I did. And I don’t remember even falling asleep, but I did.

I slowly opened my eyes and just felt the room spinning. Jeez, I’m such a lightweight.

I held my head as I rose up; it was still dark outside and my wall lights were still shining a bright pink. Water… I need water.

“Woah, woah!” Sango said as she rushed to the ride of my bed with a glass of water. She has to be heaven-sent.

“Wow, it’s like you read my mind,” I laughed, taking the cup from her hand. “Thank you.”

She smiled as she pulled out my desk chair beside the bed, “Of course.” But then she looked at me and started laughing.

“What’s so funny?!” I nervously asked. What did I do? I hope I wasn’t too drunk because then I start… singing…

“You don’t remember what happened an hour ago?” I looked at her blankly. “At Inuyasha’s?”

“Ehhh,” I put my finger to my chin, thinking rather hard. “You saved me from the two Pervs, didn’t you?”

She giggled with her eyes closed, revealing her pink eyeshadow. I love that.

“Let me refresh your memory,” I don’t like where this was going.

🗣FUCK THAT MY BABY YOU ALLL MINE

GREATEST OF ALL TIME

YOU BETTER TELL THEM HOES, “FALL IN LINE”

I DO NOT PLAY ABOUT MINE

“No…”

“Yes.”

“...N-No…”

“Yes!” she chuckled, holding her stomach while I covered my face.

“I-I’m soooo sorry!” Jesus, she definitely thinks I’m weird now. “When I’m drunk I think I sound like Jhene Aiko… she’s just too powerful...”

“Yeah, I see that,” she pretended to wipe tears from her eyes. “But oh please, don’t apologize. It was so cute.”

“C-Cute?!” I accidentally yelled out loud. I immediately covered my mouth.

“Yeah, you’re so adorable,” Sango smiled. “When I saw you at the party today, I knew I wanted to talk to you. So I just went up to you and then I saw douchebag Inuyasha and his little henchman… It was only natural for me to chase them away,” she shrugged.

She knows she got it. I like that.

“Thank God you stepped in. I was really about to kick those guys in the hoohas.”

“The hoohas?” She just kept on laughing. I loved seeing her smile, whew. “You’re so cute.”

We both continued giggling because, let’s face it, I have no idea what I’m doing, saying, or hell, what I’m feeling.

“So, no friends with you tonight,” I shook my head. “How about your boyfriend?”

I shyly smiled, “Nope, don’t have one of those either… Never did.”

“Really?” Sango’s eyebrow propped upwards. “Same here.”

“What? No way!” I tried calling her out.

Sango giggled, “How can I when girls like you are so pretty?” Oh God, did my heart just stop working? “Ah, wait, that was weird,” she scratched her neck, chuckling nervously. “Now I feel like a Perv like Inuyasha and Miroku.”

“No,” I protested. “Not at all.”

Sango looked like she felt she crossed a line. She really didn’t. In fact, she helped me realize something.

“It looks like you’re sobering up now,” she smirked. “I’ll get out of your hair. Thanks for partying with me tonight,” she blew me a flirty-but-i’m-trying-to-not-be-an-obvious-flirt kiss as she got up.

“Wait!” I didn’t want her to go. “Can you actually… stay with me? I’m here by myself, and I really like being with you.”

Sango looked at me relieved, “Of course.”

I moved more towards the wall to motion her to lay next to me. She kept looking at me and I knew my cheeks were already red, so I tried to look away. Her weight slightly pressed the bed down, but we fit. Perfectly.

I began to think back to my past “relationships” with Hojo, Koga, and Bankotsu. None of them ever worked out for me because I hated it. I hated relationships. I hate cuddling, the affection, the over-protection. But now I know, it was because I wasn’t with the right person.

“Sango?” I turned my body towards her.

“Yes, princess?” she smiled sarcastically.

I giggled, I couldn’t let this opportunity fly by me. I’m going to go for it.

I leaned in 100% for the kiss. Her lips were so soft that I realized her lip gloss was already all gone. I felt her kiss me back and honestly? fireworks. I never felt like this before.

She smiled mid-smooch, “So you do have guts.”

#aaagshhshhsh #aj writes fics #im sorry its horrible ??@?!?#I just love them #girl power 4ever #inuyashapride2020 #kagsan #kagome x sango #inuyasha fanfic #inuyasha fanfiction #kagsan fanfic

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holylangdon · 6 years ago

Text

Little Hell (Michael Langdon x Reader)

Request: “Hey! I wanted to ask if you could write some smut for Michael Langdon. Maybe he is with his lover and she’s riding him. I am so weak for him.” - Anon

Warnings: Fem!Reader, actual sin, so much sexual tension, slight choking, oral sex (reader receiving), unprotected sex, rough-ish sex, dominant Michael but willing to be a little submissive, hair pulling, reader on top, Michael calls the reader babe a few times, maybe OOC Michael

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: Shoutout to the BDA groupchat for putting up with me while I wrote this. Also I ran out of steam at the end but let’s pretend its good pls and thanks

(I love my friends so I gotta tag em real quick: @cupkayyyke @jana-banana-fana @binxee @cherryruin @justanotherfandomjunkie)

“I’ll tell you how this process works.” The taller man began, letting his sinister blue eyes roam over you. “You’re tell me the truth. Not the truth you think I want to hear, not the truth you might have deceived yourself into believing, but the complete honesty that we both know you’re capable of telling.”

He gave you a second to process his lengthy explanation. Langdon was relaxed in his seat across the desk, one knee crossed over the other. He had a lurking aura of authority that loomed over the room. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find the long-haired man attractive as you watched his every move in anticipation.

“Things you may feel will be helpful might be hurtful. Things you may feel will compel rejection may be exactly what I’m looking for, your saving grace. If you omit any detail, no matter how small, I’ll know. If you lie to me, I’ll know. If you try to deceive me, this interview will be over and you will die here painfully. And make no mistake, if you expect to walk out of this room thinking you’ve got me right where you want me, you will be punished.

“I will do my best to deduct whether or not you will leave this Outpost alive or be eaten by the scavengers. Am I clear?”

“Yes sir.”

You tried to hide all signs of nervousness, but you were almost certain he could see through the poised exterior. A soft smile crossed Langdon’s lips as you leaned back, crossing your legs underneath the long purple dress you were wearing. It was one of the most simple ones you had in your provided wardrobe, but it still seemed to suffocate you in the warm room.

“What are you most afraid of?”

Honestly? In this very moment, it was him. Your fate rested in his hands. “The hell that waits beyond the gates.” You said lightly. The lie came with its risks, but you decided to jump the gun and say it. He didn’t seem like he cared as he skipped to the next question.

“How do you feel about your current... Predicament? How did you end up here?” He asked.

You continued to watch the man across from you as he spoke. He seemed odd, almost, but you weren't sure why. Everything about him demanded respect, but he cloaked himself in a vaguely sexual, familiar aura. His outfit was dark black, his eyelids painted bright red. You wondered if that was the Cooperative’s work or his own, the eyeshadow. Ultimately you decided it was his own doing.

That was, by far, the most difficult part of being here at the Outpost. It was so different from any part of the outside that you’d ever known. A closely monitored closet of pre-Victorian dresses and undergarments, candles being the only source of light, a single jelly-like cube for breakfast and lunch. A class system of greys and blacks and purples. A leader who’s darkness you could feel from a mile away, and her perfect little followers who obeyed every single one of her orders, no matter how disruptive to the society.

But you still missed the old world. The 2018 America you had finally gotten on decent terms with until you were rudely yanked from your and your boyfriend’s apartment at three in the morning. The two armored people offered no explanation other than you having “perfect DNA.” They told you that you and a select few were chosen via various tests that you were the most genetically fit to survive the oncoming apocalypse. But truth be told, you weren't sure if living through it was even truly worth what it would take to get there. The thought was depressing, but it was the truth, and that’s what you told Langdon. Albeit in a far more condensed form.

"You don’t sound grateful.” He observed. His long brown hair fell to the side as he tilted his head, bringing his hands together to rest it on. “You, Y/N, are here, safe and sound from what killed more than seven billion people. You didn’t die by the blast, you’re not poisoned by the radiation, you aren’t being eaten by cannibals. You’re being fed and dressed with a roof over your head. This would’ve cost one hundred million dollars for anyone else.”

“Oh, I’m thankful.” You said, licking your lips. You knew your tone sounded a bit sassy, maybe sarcastic, but you didn’t care. “I got a free ticket to survival of the fittest. I’m just not sure I deserve it.”

“Why do you say that? I mean, you’re surrounded by people who paid their way in. Look at the Saint Pierre girl and her friends. Does that bother you?” He stood from his seat slowly, walking to the other side of the room. He admired the small fireplace beside him for a moment before coming back to you, taking a seat on top of the wooden desk. “Surely you’ve thought about it.”

“I haven’t.”

He went quiet as he thought for a moment before leaning forward, mere centimeters away from your face. You felt his icy hand on your cheek, his rings resting against the soft skin. You expected to feel his lips pressed against yours, but instead, you felt his cold breath as he whispered into your ear.

“I don’t think I believe you.”

It felt like some primal urge to break the connection he had to you. To stand up and be released from his grasp. But when his hand slipped down your cheek and to your neck, ghosting over your pulse, you melted underneath him. He locked his hand around your throat as he hummed quietly, simply watching your face. Your eyes were closed and your eyebrows lightly furrowed together as you tried not to show pleasure at the sexual touch. But God, it felt good.

When he pulled away, you finally opened your eyes again only to see his. They stared over you once more, but this time, his gaze was different. Something fiery burned behind the bright blue. “I like you. You’re different.” The light in the room went dark, only a few lit candles still remaining. For some reason, that didn’t even faze you as he stood before you, your heart beating a mile minute.

"It’s getting late. We can pick this up in the morning.”

And with that, he released you from the room.

Later that night, you were laying in bed as you replayed the scene in your head. Was he intentionally toying with you like that? Surely so. He was so certain of himself and his actions as he watched you squirm. He loved it. He found his pleasure in being able to manipulate you so easily.

It was only an unexpected, quiet knock at the door that interrupted your thoughts. Was it Venable? Were you being taken somewhere else again? Had the Cooperative selected you? Had you done something wrong? Your mind raced with the possibilities as you crept over to the door. What stood behind it shocked you.

Langdon.

He was dressed casually, sweatpants and a t-shirt. It was vastly different than what you had previously seen him in, and suited him a bit more than his usual formal wear, if you were honest. His reddish hair was tucked behind his ears, and he wore a blank expression on his face.

He wasted no time before snaking his hand around your waist, pulling you in for a deep kiss. He walked the two of you backwards as he kicked the door shut, letting it fall closed with a small ‘thud.’ Quickly, he leaned backwards to lock it.

The kiss was hungry. Passionate. Lustful. Slowly, he began to play with the hem of your nightgown, carefully moving closer and closer to the heat that pooled between your legs. You couldn’t help but moan against his lips as his thumb gliding over your panties, letting him break the kiss only to lift your nightgown above your head, letting it fall on the floor.

“That’s one way to make an entrance.” You mumbled, helping him strip his own shirt off. He smiled, letting you look him in the eye. The beautiful blues sent a chill down your spine while he just admired you. “I don’t even know your name.”

“Michael.” He muttered. It wasn’t angry, or hesitant as you’d expected. He seemed glad, almost, to let you know his name. For you to call him something other than ‘sir’ or by his last name. “Michael Langdon.”

It was a blur how you ended up on your bed, Michael hovering over you. He planted a soft kiss to your collarbone, your breast, your stomach... Meanwhile his hand played with the waistband of your panties, pulling them down, down down, and tossing them away. You moaned softly as he rubbed your clit with his finger, a small swear falling from your mouth.

Suddenly, he removed his hand, and moments later he comfortably rested between your thighs. He reached for your hand, sliding his rings onto your smaller fingers with ease. You didn't know why, but that simple action was so, so sexy to you. Maybe it was because he trusted you to keep them for him, a simple show of affection to you.

Recently, you had learned that Michael didn’t like to waste his valuable time. That was during the interview, and it was happening now. He liked things to be fast-paced, very straight to the point. He was confident about it, almost as if he had been used to doing it his whole life.

He licked and sucked for a moment before stopping, presumably to gauge your reaction. That annoyed you. Gently, you grabbed a fistful of his hair, keeping him in place. You felt him groan lightly in pleasure. Had you just discovered his kink?

Michael continued to lick between your folds, slicking his fingers over you. You moaned loudly when he pushed two digits into you, letting you shiver with anticipation. The two of you were perfect together, with you tugging and pulling on his long, silken hair, guiding him easily. He followed your gestures like a lost puppy, focusing his attention wherever you directed him to. It seemed like the harder you pulled, the more submissive he became, melting under your fingertips. He held back small moans each time your grip tightened, his pace not slowing.

It wasn't much longer before pleasure washed over you as you came on his tongue, which he didn’t mind at all. In fact, the eager-to-please expression on his face told you that he enjoyed it.

When he finally pulled away, your eyes locked on his swollen lips and wet chin, which were dripping with your juices. Pulling him up your body, you hesitantly pressed your lips to his to taste yourself. You felt his excitement growing against you. That drove him wild in ways you could never understand.

You pulled away from him a few moments later. “You’re so impatient. Didn’t anyone ever teach you that patience is a virtue?”

“Do you think I would’ve helped you if it wasn’t?” He cooed, meeting your lips with another kiss. “What are you going to do about it, babe? Hm?”

You gave him a look as he rolled onto the bed, letting you climb on top of him. A newfound surge of confidence pulsed through your body as you untied his sweatpants, sliding them down his leg. You were in charge now, and Michael knew it. The way you kissed him as you guided his long cock into you only confirmed his suspicions.

He gave your ass a small squeeze when you took him in, a small groan exiting his lips as he felt your warmth clasp around him. With a small thrust, you adjusted to his size quickly, leading to harder, deeper ones. The two of you fell into a nice rhythm soon, your hands resting on his bare chest. Every time you slid down, he'd buck his hips to meet you, eliciting a small moan from you every time. God, how he wished he could let you scream his name. If you wouldn’t be punished, even the corpses outside would know who was fucking you.

Neither of you lasted too much longer before you both reached your orgasms. His name and a string of curses fell from your lips as you came for the second time, and not but seconds later, light moans escaped the man in front of you as he finally, finally got his release. The two of you were both pleased as you sat on the now-messy bed together in silence, each of you trying to comprehend what had just now happened.

Did you really just have late-night sex with a member of the Cooperative? Yes, yes you did.

You could tell that Michael wasn’t the type to stick around after he got what he wanted. He preferred to sleep on his own in his bed, his previous lover nowhere in sight. But somehow, some way, he couldn’t say no when you asked him to stay just long enough for you to fall asleep. That turned into “just a little while longer” and “I don’t want to wake her up,” which, in turn, resulted in the two of you being curled up together in the dark until morning came.

And that was good enough for you.

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chattonlait · 5 years ago

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Pretty Lies: chapter 9

Adrien has an interesting chat with Hawkmoth, and a bonding moment with Marinette. Sometimes black cats bring good luck.

First thing in the morning, and Adrien was starting an early patrol. Not because he wanted to, because believe him, he’d rather be in bed. He was still exhausted from the night before. He hadn’t realized how much and akuma attack could take out of him when he wasn’t wearing his miraculous. He wasn’t even attacked so much as.. Effected by it. He wished he could remember what happened but he honestly couldn’t. He just fell out, woke up in Luka’s lap, fell back asleep, or passed out again. It was one or the other. But hearing that his eyes went pink, and he had talked funny? That was.. Embarrassing, mostly. He wished he could remember what he said to Marinette.. He needed to apologize for that, for scaring her. He decided he would do that once he got to school, for now he had to soar across the Paris skies, hopping from rooftop to rooftop. Normally he would never even try to patrol in the mornings, but he missed the akuma yesterday. Adrien perched on the edge of a stone rooftop, knees to his chest as he took his baton out, and he was right- he really missed the akuma yesterday, and several voicemails from Ladybug. His thumb hovered over the play button before he shook his head. He knew he should’ve been more aware, should’ve been there for his lady.

So instead, he took a chance, and he called her instead. He held the baton closer to his ear as it rang. If she wasn’t in costume it’d go straight to voicemail, but it rang. She was also out before the sun rose. His heart blossomed with warmth as he stared down at the streets below him. The line clicked, and Adrien started speaking when he heard Ladybug inhale, “I know I wasn’t there to fight the akuma yesterday, and I’m sorry,” he said, licking his bottom lip as he stood up, pacing the edge of the roof. “It was like with Style Queen, this akuma got to me before I realized it was even there, I can’t even-” he huffed, “I can’t even remember when it got me in the first place. But I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath in, “I should’ve been there to help you defeat it.. Forgive me, m’lady.” “Are you okay?”

He flinched at Ladybug’s question. She shouldn’t be asking if he was okay, she should’ve been angry, he wasn’t there and he was her partner for crying out loud. “I’m fine,” he said through tight lips. He wasn’t fine and he knew that, he was still tired, his friends were starting to catch on, and this akuma.. Was the straw on the camel’s back. He didn’t know if he could keep going the way he was, pretending like everything was perfect and fine all the time. It wasn’t fine, he wasn’t fine. He heard Ladybug hum tentatively into the speaker, “Chatton.”

“Yes?” “You sound like you’re scared.” “I’m not,” he lied again. But it wasn’t a full lie. He was anxious, not scared. All he had to do was make it to the winter show.. That was next week, once next week was over, he could breathe again, he promised himself. He could go back to normal, he wouldn’t have to think about the fact that he was taking his mother’s place. Everyone would be watching, judging, critics would look at him and judge him, and subsequently his father, twice as hard. “It’s okay if the akuma scared you, Chat, you didn’t have any defense, but I’m not angry that you weren’t there, okay? I had to call in Rena and Carapace, but it’s what I recruited them for, so that we can have help. If you were alone, I would expect you to try and do the same.” He didn’t remind Ladybug that he didn’t have access to the other miraculouses (miraculi? whatever.) Instead he nodded, even though Ladybug couldn’t see it. The chilly winter wind ruffled his hair and he sighed into the baton. “Thank you Ladybug, this conversation.. I really needed it,” he smiled to himself and waved to some kids as he jumped onto another rooftop, pacing quietly. “I think it might snow today.” Ladybug’s laugh twinkled in his ear and he felt his face go warm, smile now absolutely fixed to his face. He was still in love- but it felt wrong, how could he love Ladybug and Marinette? His heart felt warm for both of them, sometimes so much so that it felt constricting. Ladybug was his best friend though, she knew him but didn’t at the same time. He could open up to Ladybug about things that he felt like he could never tell Marinette. She seemed to have this.. Idea of who he was in her head, but didn’t really know him. But then again, no one did. And that was his own fault, a product of his own.. Issues. “I’m glad that you felt comfortable enough to have it with me, Chat. I have to get going now, but don’t ever be afraid to leave me a message, okay?” “M-mhm,” he stuttered into the phone and sighed, “Cold, sorry. I’ll catch you around, Bugaboo.” “Bye-bye!” “Bye,” he clicked the end call button and looked down at his weapon as the screen blacked out. He should’ve probably stopped pacing like a manic cat on a roof. So he did. He jumped down and landed in a long deserted alley-way, destranforming seamlessly. He was still in his morning workout clothes, he had blatantly lied to Nathalie and told him he needed to go for a jog. It was a half truth, but he said he needed the air, space to breathe after having something so invasive happen. Adrien shivered, he could barely remember what happened when the akuma effected him but it still felt like a snake was crawling up his spine whenever he tried to remember. Like something happened and his brain was blocking out the memory to protect him. He felt, in a lack of other words, completely violated.

And then he wondered what it would be like to actually be akumatized, he never talked to his friends about that, it always felt too personal to bring up. But now he wondered how they felt, did they feel violated, disgusted? Being akumatized was literally a punishment for having negative emotions. Hawkmoth used a literal baby as one of his weapons before. How could anyone move past that without thinking about it? Akumatized victims couldn’t remember what they did while akumatized but the news had no problem broadcasting it for the entire world to see. The entire world watched children become possessed by evil, while the children themselves couldn’t remember what they did in the first place.

His hatred for Hawkmoth grew in that moment, doubling in size like a weight in his chest. He, and Ladybug, needed to get his miraculous, they needed to do it quickly, it was only a matter of time before Hawkmoth became stronger, or gained followers. Lila Rossi popped in his mind only for a brief second as he turned a corner. She would probably follow Hawkmoth if anything to cause chaos, she was already a liar, a good one too. He still hadn’t been able to catch her in her lies but he knew he’d get there, eventually. Adrien learned over time and example that everyone showed their true colors, eventually, and one day Lila would slip up. He still kept evidence of her lies, recordings expertly hidden on his phone, labeled, they would be color coded if he could. God, he was a lunatic, wasn’t he? Oh well, nobody had to know that he detested Lila Rossi just about as much as Marinette did. Probably for the same reason, but it wasn’t something he talked about. He had to keep face, pretend like he tolerated Lila at the bare minimum. He needed to stop thinking about her, he could start feeling his own anger build in his chest and he didn’t need to be that wound up so early in the morning. He was supposed to be jogging to work out his stress, not build it up with stupid thoughts. Adrien pulled his phone out and stared at the clock. He’d been out for three hours, it was nine in the morning, he was late for school. Did he even want to go? Honestly, no, he didn’t. He still felt.. Ashamed of himself, and he knew why but at the same time he didn’t understand it. None of his friends were angry at him, they were just concerned.

But he still had the impending feeling that they were secretly mad, he couldn’t help but think that way. He was spending less and less time with them lately, and he wasn’t sure… He just wasn’t sure. He shook his head, clearing out the notifications from the group text. Maybe he should mute it for the time being?.. Maybe.. That would be best? Adrien unlocked his phone and opened the groupchat, trying to ignore the messages as best he could and that was when he heard it- Moth wings. He didn’t have much time to react, a black moth settled into the screen of his phone while his thumb hovered over the notification settings. “Always afraid of rejection, aren’t you Adrien?” He braced himself, clenching his fingers around his device. This wasn’t happening, not right now. It couldn’t be- it couldn’t be. He clenched his jaw tightly, closing his eyes.

This was his chance, he could actually hear Hawkmoth in his head, clearly. “Adrien Agreste, I am Hawkmoth-” No, he knew that voice, he can hear the light, condescending tone, the rich smoothness that occured when not clipped off into brief sentences. He’d heard that exact tone before, if only a few times in his life. Never was it directed at him. It was so familiar but at the same time, he couldn’t place it.. “I will give you this power in exchange for the Ladybug and Chat Noir miraculous-”

Adrien felt like his teeth were about to grind to powder. He didn’t have time to be akumatized, he really, really didn’t. He tilted his chin up, staring directly at nothing, literally nothing. The world around him was black and glowing purple closer to his eyes. “Go to hell.”

“Excuse me?”

“Is this some sort of power trip? Does it make you feel in control to have power over teenagers, to use and abuse their emotions to your own gain? Does it make you feel good, Hawkmoth?”

“You have no right to speak to me like this-” “You’re the one who came to me to get the Ladybug and Chat Noir miraculous, right? I think I’m in every right to speak to you however I decide to,” he could feel his heart racing in his chest as he spoke, and it was like the emotional dam he kept all of his thoughts behind was finally starting to break and fall apart, flooding him. His heart raced and his skin felt like it was on fire. Adrien had Hawkmoth trapped, he was resisting the akuma, there was no out. Not until he either accepted the akuma and Hawkmoth’s power, or if he threw his phone. Hawkmoth couldn’t back away. He felt himself smile as he talked, “Awe, silence, that’s cute. Aren’t you supposed to be a supervillain? Being shocked into silence by a 15 year old seems kind of beneath you, and horribly underwhelming at that.”

He could remember when his father commented that Adrien, like his mother, was incredibly dramatic. He would lay it on thick, just to have fun with it, or because he could tell he was making Hawkmoth uncomfortable. They were playing a game of cat and mouse. Somewhere in the back of his head, he remembered that cats could and would eat insects, it was quite literally a predator and prey scenario. Hawkmoth was ensnared in his trap, and like a good kitty, Adrien was going to play with him until he died.

“Is power not good enough for you? I am offering you immense-”

“Save it, I don’t need your power to get what I want,” he was still his father’s son. He was equally as good at getting into people’s heads. He learned from the best. “I really am just curious you know, about why you want their miraculous so badly. Is it to thwart them? What’s your prerogative?”

“You don’t need to know what I need beyond the miraculous!”

Adrien swore he heard Hawkmoth’s breath catch in the back of his throat, and he narrowed his own gaze. Some part of him wondered if anyone was watching, it was probably a spectacle. Model Adrien, arguing while Hawkmoth tried to akumatize him.

He tasted blood in his mouth, and his head started throbbing. “I.. I don’t have time for this, I don’t have time to terrorize Paris to get you some jewels,” he could tell his voice was starting to shake, but he couldn’t break down. He clenched his phone in his hand and he felt the screen start to split and splinter between his fingers. “Now isn’t that peculiar, no time?” He slipped up, he could feel it. He closed his eyes. He couldn’t lose his resolve, he needed to spin the control back in his favor, “I can strike you a deal, Hawkmoth. Give me a week and two days, keep the akuma in my phone, and I’ll give myself to you, no holds barred.” Adrien heard him breathe, probably considering the offer. He squeezed his phone even harder, “I have a box in my backpack that I can keep it in, just find a way to get in contact with me after that amount of time passes.” “And if I reject your offer?” Adrien scoffed, and rolled his eyes, whispering, “Then it’s your loss and you’ve just wasted your time arguing with a fifteen year old,” he’d break his phone, throw it, and set the akuma free. It’d go to someone else, he’s sure, or it wouldn’t. Suddenly he wasn’t positive, it was getting harder and harder to think. He straightened out his shoulders, exhaling slowly, “So. Deal or no deal? I don’t have all day.” Hawkmoth hummed in his ear, “I believe we have a deal, Adrien. But please be aware that all of your negative emotions will go into the akuma in your device. When you accept it, it’ll be much stronger than it is now. Are you prepared for that challenge?” Was he? This was his one connection to Hawkmoth, if he could get Hawkmoth to trust him, he could learn the truth about his identity, he could uncover him. It wasn’t the best way, or the most direct, but it was what he had. “I am, we’ll be in touch.”

And he dropped his phone. The world spun around him and his knees trembled as he crouched down on the concrete. His whole body shook and he took deep, gasping breaths. He felt like he just ran a marathon, everything ached. His phone was a shattered black brick, and he yanked his bag off his shoulder, thankful he actually brought it with him when he went out for his jog. Never had he opened something up so fast in his life but in seconds he had his phone in a little cardboard box, and he zipped it away in one of the many pockets inside. He felt like he was actively putting the nails in his own coffin as he shut his bag. His heart raced like crazy in his chest. But there was a weight on his shoulder, a small one. One that snuggled into his neck and whispered words that he couldn’t quite hear. So he closed his eyes, holding his bag close to him, guarding his latest secret. He counted to ten, and when he opened his eyes he realized he had been totally alone the whole time, hidden away in an alley. He must’ve been walking while talking to Hawkmoth, trying to get away, he must’ve been. Adrien sighed in relief and looked down at his kwami, “I don’t think Ladybug’s gonna be proud of this one,” his voice was raspy. “But it’s the closest thing we have to Hawkmoth, right?” Plagg said, nuzzling closer. “I have to explain it to her on our next patrol.. This secret, I can’t keep this to myself. Too many people could get hurt,” his friends would hate him if they knew what he was harboring. He willfully struck a deal with Hawkmoth, who the hell did that? Apparently Adrien Agreste did that. He felt Plagg pop back into his bag and at first he thought it was because of a person, but when he looked up, he was simply greeted with a little black cat standing in front of him. It was painfully ironic, but Adrien stuck his hand out, slowly, barely extending his fingers towards it, “Alone out here too?” He mused to the cat. All the cat did was meow at him and sniff his hand, rubbing it’s head against him. He scratched behind it’s ears and it wandered closer to him. Eventually the cat situated itself in his lap, purring contently in his hands. “Adrien, shouldn’t you be in class?” Adrien jumped out of his skin, flattening his back against the wall as he caught the cat, making sure to stroke it gently. “Jesus Christ,” he put a hand against his heart, looking up at his latest assailant and to his shock it was.. Marinette.

“.. Shouldn’t you be in class too?” She was still in her pajamas, not that he was much better off. He was in a lavender sweatshirt and leggings, not exactly the most put together look. Hell, he didn’t wear purple.. Ever, unless it was an accent color. And his hair wasn’t done and he didn’t have time to do his morning skincare. But Marinette turned pink and she laughed, rubbing the back of her neck, “Y-yeah, I should be, I just uhm, was catching up on homework and I saw one of those black butterflies come by and I got worried so I tried following it but then I got lost, it’s a mess. I was gonna try and get something for the Ladyblog as a present for Alya but well, lost it.” Adrien couldn’t help it, he smiled sympathetically, “I was just out for a jog, got too caught up in my thoughts and I ended up here,” he shrugged while he talked, easily making up a lie. Not that it was a full one, he did end up there because he was talking to Hawkmoth, in his head, because if it was out loud than he was positive someone else would’ve seen him. He cleared his throat, “But look, when I realized I was lost, this cool cat sauntered over, look at how pretty uh..” he checked it’s underside as cooly as he could, “She is?” Marinette gasped and crouched down with him, “Oh, she’s gorgeous, probably a stray, oh.. People always say black cats are bad luck.” Yeah, tell me about it. He tried not to roll his eyes but he nodded, “It keeps them from getting adopted, I read an article about it.” Marinette worried her lip and Adrien just watched her. Her hair was a little messy, and she certainly wasn’t dressed for the weather. It was only natural for him to take off his sweater and hand it to her, pulling the cat closer to him. He was wearing a tank-top beneath it, and her eyes widened as he passed it over. “It’s gonna snow today. Here, take this, and I’ll walk you home so you can get dressed.” “You, you don’t have to do that,” she stuttered and waved her hands. Adrien smiled, “No, I insist. I’ve been.. Really busy lately and I feel bad for not being able to spend time together. Besides, it’s cold. You’ll get sick walking around in pajamas. Please, I have an extra one at school.” Marinette looked hesitant, but Adrien pushed a little harder. She nodded and finally took it, pulling it over her head. It was probably two sizes too big and she looked.. Really pretty in purple. He felt his cheeks heat up and he couldn’t keep his own smile off his face. “Where are you going to keep the cat?” Adrien stopped, and he looked back down at the cat, who only mewed at him and pawed back at him for his hands. He ran his fingers through her fur again and shrugged, “I can probably keep her at my place.” “Will your father let you?” “Oh, absolutely not, so I won’t tell him,” he answered easily with a shrug, and then a smile, “I’ll make sure she finds a good home, I promise. We should get going, we don’t wanna be too late, right?” Marinette smiled, and held her hand out. For a moment, Adrien didn’t know what to do. He stared at her open palm and looked back down at the cat. He managed to shift the feline comfortably into one arm and he let Marinette pull him up. She was strong, and he was positively red in the face. “Besides, we can get breakfast at the bakery before we go, oh, and my dad can probably lend you a jacket!” She talked as she walked and Adrien followed. He didn’t think she ever had this much confidence before but it made him feel proud, she wasn’t stuttering around him anymore. Did she not hate him? Was he finally able to correct whatever he did wrong? A warm feeling bloomed in his chest and he nodded. “That sounds nice, thank you.” She turned over her shoulder and she grinned at him, and all at once he felt free.

#bee writes #ml #miraculous ladybug #hawkmoth #chat noir #ladybug #adrien agreste #gabriel agreste #marinette dupain cheng #angst #miraculous ladyangst #fic #ao3

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