#and i have to now tell friends i cant make it to something theyve planned for the third time in a row 😔

[aidenwaites]

In theory I think I would actually like working like.. two part time jobs as opposed to working one fulltime job, but in reality trying to get any manager on earth to work with you on scheduling such a thing is nothing but a goddamn nightmare

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas!! im back with an update about me, M, and F!

okay so, i told M how i feel about F and she was... sort of okay? like she said she was fine, had picked up on it, and had decided she wasnt going to try anything anyway because she wanted to work on herself before going for a relationship with anyone, so thats good (honestly im more just glad shes planning to work on their mental health etc because she deserves to feel good about herself and i could tell recently theyve not been feeling great)

as for F and i, we're... something? idk, we had a sort of movie "date" and after she walked me to my flat (we live literally like a minute from each other bc we're both living on university campus) we did kiss but then weve just... not acknowledged it since? we flirt a bit still (we did this before bc neither of us were brave enough to do anything more ahaha) but thats it

to add to whatever that is, ive hit a roadblock in regards to my feelings. idk how much you know about abrosexuality, but thats how i identify, which means (for me, at least) that my sexuality changes (im also genderfluid so i usually describe it like that but with sexuality instead of gender). and right now im not really romantically attracted to women? maybe not anyone, its bloody impossible to tell most of them time, but as much as i know that i like her, its kinda turned to really strong platonic feelings?

this is the first time ive had any sort of romantic interaction with anyone since finding the abrosexual label, so i dont really know how to navigate this, especially because even though i have come out to this friend group as abro, i dont really know if she properly understands what that means. honestly, im nearly at the point where i might just send her a fic i wrote with abrosexual!sirius even though that would expose my ao3 ahaha

i dont want to make her feel like i dont like her anymore because i do, just not in the same way all the time, if that makes sense? it also really doesnt help that idk what we are, so its not like i could just rock up and be like "hey, so i know we might be dating or may date in the near future but i actually only like you as a friend right now, sorry!" because what if it actually wasnt a date?? we never defined it as one but it felt a lot like one

on another, separate note (my apologies, but life is hard and navigating it is even harder) im feeling really shit about my name at the moment, but i have no solution. when i went to uni, i started going by my chosen name (for online's sake, we'll say im using dorian which is what i go by here, though i use a different one irl) and it felt really great to use something i was more comfortable with

but recently i went back to a show i watched years ago because it came up on my recommended and i was bored, and since i stopped watching, one of the characters changes his name. hes not trans, but his storyline sort of- triggered something in my brain? idk how to describe it, but ever since then my chosen name just hasnt felt right

ive tried looking at other names and ive really thought about it a lot but now absolutely *nothing* feels right and its making me feel really dysphoric any time anyone speaks to me using any name (like, my chosen name now feels as shit as my deadname) and i know you cant just pick a name for me but do you have any advice about what i can do? i feel like ive looked at a thousand or more names and nothing feels right

sending love as always! <3

Ooo okay so for the first situation, could you bring up your sexuality to F in a hypothetical way. Like "hey I'm figuring out my sexuality and I need someone to talk to"? That way you're not saying how you feel about HER, and neither of you has to deal with rejection, but the point gets across.

As far as your name, do you have a supportive friend that might be willing to try a few names with you? Like actually refer to you by those names, to see how you feel when they're used for you? Maybe it's that you have to hear the names used to see how you feel, you know?

[thesugarhole]

sanrio?? hello??

violin* and obsessed with money???? since when??? i mean. alright. i can give the violin to him AND cherry but its like, very barely there violin??

me to the sanrio ceo: "berry is violin" shut up if youve seen the stuff kuromi circa 2006 used to do youd hurl

also i dont think wallet status has ever been mentioned about these guys... in any media/franchise. they live in an abandoned looking mansion for the halloween aesthetic, not because of money. i can believe 'obsessed with money' but not 'poor'

hoping its either just google mistranslations or some recent developments ive been blissfully unaware of

>cinnamon

>her

its mistranslations. also this is personal headcanoning time based on how often the confusion happens but man you cant do this to cinnamon notorious trans man icon cinnamon. if he doesnt mind it then ill mind it for him djkhfdksj 'cherry is competitive and selfish' is correct btw this has always been her description. well maybe not competitive but definitely selfish. iirc it was always around "berry is stubborn cherry is selfish and theyre both tsundere" genuinely dont know where violin came from its gotta be a mistranslation on the nuisanse/stubborn aspect. i also dunno where 'weakness is strong-willed girls' came from, it might be talking about his friendship with cherry and how he might given in easier to what she tells him (at least i choose to think so) so i got no comment on it

all the pronouns being mismatched is so funny man come on shjfhdgfdsjvfdsjv is this profile using some sort of neutral language that left google confused as hell?

i. uh? should i be worried about espresso?

this ones... correct? espresso is more of a culture savant than a celebrity.... anyway berry if you kick him out there will be no one there to make you the food you love

nope! its magic and mirror manipulation. pranking is their hobby and favorite pass time but their magic is not limited to just the -its joke- context (sorry to once again quote the worst season ever of OMM, but they both tried to help out bakus family by making a photo of food they had emit scent, so the family would have an easier time eating plain rice. no jokering no jestering no clowning no malicious behavior whatsoever).

i remember being mentioned in older descriptions that berry had some potion making proficiency but they havent focused in that in years so who cares now amirite. i dont remember if cherry had any sort of distinction like this, theyve always overfocused on her crush on espresso :pensive:

"what about cherry"

"who? oh idk write smth about espresso again"

(hobbies include PRANKS, attempting to make friends (a general trait) making music (2018 rankings), having ballroom parties (cinnamon trip!! by oster project) and watching sentai/magical girl anime (onegai my melody). berrys particular hobby is to mess with cinnamon, cherrys particular hobby is to go after espresso. i guess.) (but again most of these are old one offs, and currently unfocused aspects of theirs so. whatever)

also i really would like to know the plans about the alt designs for them that are technically their true form and always show in their shadows and (sometimes?) in mirror reflections. it hasnt been completely dropped but, its never been hard defined either so idk. i guess i feel a bit bummed that its also been attempted to be forgotten to time because (to me feel at least) it feels very obviously based on the episode kuromi turned herself into a human and it could be something they were trying to establish to devil inspired characters back then.

thanks for coming to the lloromannic autism hour its nice to think about something else other than current personal events sometimes

*censorship

[kitakawaii]

(＃＞＜)

i get upset over the smallest things , and a lot of people have been cancelling their plans with me recently. . it's really annoying when all i want to do is spend my teen years hanging out with my friends , but none of them want to do the same ! ! i know i should be grateful for the friends i have and the fact that they're my friends at all , but it really upsets me when they promise one thing and not go through with it. ive also been getting the feeling that a lot of them ( my friends ) dont really like me anymore. theyve all moved on with their lives and have goals and things they want to achieve , yet here i still am , liking anime , reading manga , and wasting my time rotting away , all while still acting so much like a little kid. i got into an art high school but that was purely because there were no other kids that wanted to go that were in the same grade as me , and because last year a bunch of their students left the cllss. i like my new school, and ive made new friends but i dont feel like i fit in ? i thought id be able to find people like me, but not really . . all of them are so much more talented than me and it makes me wonder how i even got into the school in the first place ? was it out of pity? were they too shy to turn me down ? i know for a fact that my art and essay were not nearly good enough for the 97/100 that i received on them. why does everybody like to me? on top of that i cant find motivation to do anything these days. i like going out and staying in my room watching videos or maybe sometimes drawing , , but i dont know ! i dont even know what ive been rambling on about, i just wanted to ramble. adding on to the ramble i want to be able to tell people things that upset me and fix things too ! every time someone does something that upsets me , the thought of them being upset over me telling them surpasses the urge to be happy , if that makes sense? i want others to be happy before me , but that way , will I ever be happy ? i dont even have a reason to be so sad and bitchy all the time, i have a great life . every now and again i pray something bad happens to me so i can finally have a reason to feel bad and to feel like my sadness would be validated . yk ? i really hate just being upset for no reason. i should be happy, i should be grateful for all i have, but for some god forsaken reason im just ,, not ? really i dont get it. my mama loves me , my girlfriend (probably) loves me , i have great friends and an amazing best friend, im not too unpopular , and i dont get bullied anymore , so i should be happy ! i can wear the things i want to wear without having my mama disliking or forcing me to change, and like that and many more ways im lucky ! just lucky to have everything i do have, i have no reason to feel so sad. i have no reason to complain ! ! ! it really sucks , i hope it goes away soon . or at some point ever . sorry not very well written, lot of this doesn't make sense , but no one but me will read this anyway so ,, whatever

[mayssa-m]

i done figured out what I wanna do in my life and what my life will look like, it might look like I got no plans but I really know what I’m doing. I nose-dived several times education-wise n that’s really odd of me cus I was known to be the biggest nerd in my class n that reputation completely faded away n I can’t really blame myself as I got distractions of another life with a completely different lane n it’s hard to balance between, my mom just had a talk w me and this time I’ll do it not for myself but my mom n that other life I wanna live cus i always promised myself no matter what I’ll never give up on school n the results by my attitude towards it is the perfect route for someone removing school from his/her life, but that’s not what I’m aiming for. It’s gonna be harder for me than others whether it’s people only being focused on school n doing really good or someone else in the field I’l distracted by doing really good in it to, in my case the harder part is gonna be balancing in order to succeed in both, it’s gonna be really challenging but I know it’ll pay off 2 years from here n theres nothing to worry about as I talk everyday about how fast time goes so those two hears will go in a blink of an eye n ill look back n be like damn. I’m ready for this 2 year journey as at the end of them I’ll get double rewarded, two different types of rewards from each side, I learned a lot from the previous mistakes I’ve made and this time I just wanna do really well and bounce back just imagine me being a nerd again my family being really proud of me along with myself n doing also well in my other plan like bro what could be any better than that n then 2 years from now I’d get my results n graduate imagine just that is enough as my life is completely shifting I’m leaving my home country n gonna open this new chapter of my life that’s what Ive been dreaming of for soo long just living by myself in another country yes my family is gonna be away but what ive always wanted since idk what age was me living in my own appartment in a different country i also planned w my cousin we’d have a mansion each or split one and have expensive cars (part2 ill take about it later) n then I’d visit my parents and give them gifts and money n them just being genuinely happy with who they’ve raised and finally all their hard work paying off cuz im telling you it wasn’t easy for my parents especially now we’re prolly at our worst financially n whats giving me hope is not only that they always end up figuring it out but that im the oldest meaning id be the first to show them that what theyve done was worth it (+my second plan on the side) one of my goals also is getting a scholarship so that i wont have to make them pay much and something i also thought of was them not even paying for me i want by the age of 18 to be able to pay for college, car, clothes, food, airplane tickets, etc just anything for myself n i know ill do it BRO i wanna make them so happy you wont even understand n they dont even know the millionth of how grateful i am of having them or just anything they do, i see it trust i just dont show ut in case i look ungrateful to them, its not that i dont hug kiss n say i love you that i dont mean to say it its just all in my head i keep rushing myself in my head to be even harder on myself n makes things go faster, they’ll never ever even expect the quarter of what im about to do

I wanna come back n read this whenever i feel like i cant do it nomore cus i know there will be a lot of downs, school really isnt easy when youre aiming to be the best at it (to aim high)

my parents always taught me to aim higher n i still got this habit where i overestimate what i can do n dont end up being consistent so i end up being disappointed

n i know it might sound weird n unusual but something thatll keep you going youre not getting there by being in your room 24/7 just doing school stuff, you need to go out, do activities, go out with your friends or family members, spend time with family, just basically going out n not always working in the same environment n you will enjoy it better than being all by yourself studying in the same environment, its really all about balance and organization, n thats what ill do n first step would be to start sleeping earlier and wake up early in order to have better quality of sleep for a better performance the next day and a longer day in order to be able to do as much as possible thats all i gotta do for now

28.08.2024 it’ll really all be done by like june-july 2026 it’s crazy

[hederskrans]

hey guys! just getting ready for voting season, coming soon.

Now, i want you all to vote for democrats or, if possible, a different party that aligns more with our beliefs. why? because we need to ensure that the coming elections (BOTH IN SENATE AND IN CONGRESS!) are going to swing our way.

"oh, but both sides are bad" one side wants to send every queer person in the united states to hell. the other thinks that you should give basic respect to queer people.

"its not going to do anything anyways!" oh you moron. you absolute fucking idiot. how do you think these people were elected in the first place? do you think they just materialized out of nowhere or something? no! they were voted in! and in order to vote in the people we want, we have to work hard as hell.

"i cant get time off work/school/whatever!" listen. you can get time of work for a day to make sure that you'll be able to survive. and if not, spread the word to your friends/family. do your best to convince anyone that's unsure.

"none of my family/friends want to vote for (so and so)!" then give them the facts. i recommend having them watch videos by the gravel institute on youtube. but tell them that gay people dont want their kids. drag queens only spend time around kids because they are very similar in society to clowns. drag queens won't be making inappropriate jokes around kids either. just tell them that everything theyve heard was a lie.

"i'm a minor and i cant vote!" thats fine. instead of stressing yourself out, you can spread the word. tell your friends and family whats going on. tell them about what the heritage foundation is planning to do against gay people. do your best to convince any unsure people to vote blue. or green. whichever one's best.

and most of all, CHECK WHOS SPONSORING YOUR CANDIDATES! i dont care if theyre democrats or republicans, always check who's backing them up! this'll make it easier to see if there's a democratic candidate who'd switch up on us. remember that we are the people, and we can fight against this stuff.

[not-your-fucking-kacchan]

hey queen!! happy to see u back (ur writings really good) *ahem* do you think you could write one-sided pining from far away with iida annnnd maybee shinso? like idk theyve been pining for y/n without them noticing for a long while and theyre tired damnit! maybe theyre a little bit of jelly bellies?? maybe? tsym!!!! feel free to ignore, btw :D

Hello!! Thank you so much for your feedback, i cant tell you how glad i am that my writing is being recieved this way 😩🛐

Theres a little bit of angst and you can see it if you squint really hard but theres a happy ending !!!! :,)

Also- i would a hundred percent do this for shinsou- but im thinking i might save that for a later post so i can fit all the tags i want in and keep them seperate, y know? I hope thats okay <3 <3 <3

Masterlist<3

Iida x Reader

When you had transferred to class 1-A via reccommendation, even if it was a little late, Iida welcomed you with open arms and words of support.

It really didnt take long for him to fall absolutely head over heels for you, however, as he grew to learn more about you.

You were so kind and accepting, and whenever Mina or Denki asked you for help with their studies you would comply with a compassionate smile.

He wanted to talk to you.

He wanted an excuse to speak to you more, and become closer to you. You were perfect for him, and you respected and validated everything he said and felt. He had never felt so seen in his whole life.

So he never realised the growing bud of jealousy hiding away in his heart. Every guy that spoke to you were met with suspicious glances and a possessive, protective Iida. He was like an overbearing puppy.

You found it absolutely adorable how he would blush very faintly as you spoke to him, but you never realised that it was because the gullible idiot was in love with you.

He was serious about you as well. He imagined a future with you. So, the next time he would catch you walking out of the classroom last, or wandering around on your own, he planned to confess to you.

He was obsessed with that you would tie up your hair in a cute little ponytail, or cover your mouth when you were eating, or tilt your head when you were confused about something. The navy haired boy couldnt help but study your mannerisms like you were an art piece on display.

So when he saw you talking to Todoroki the next day, giggling and blushing and standing awefully clise to him, naturally he was distraught.

You didnt even realise that he had seen you, so when Iida suddenly becomes much more distant it actually kind of worries you. Had you offended him? Was it something you said?

The next time you find yourself face to face with Iida, he looks at you in shock and you notice how his eyes dart about awkwardly, almost as if he was looking for an escape. It was definately something you said, you decided.

"Iida, i was- uh-... i wanted to ask you... why have you been avoiding me?"

You were genuinely worried that you'd lost a friend, because what friend suddenly starts acting like you don't exist? And suddenly you're tearing up, big, bright eyes suddenly going glassy and overflowing with salty tears.

The poor boy almost has a heart attack.

He was only trying to put some distance between you so that his feelings wouldn't affect the relationship that you had going on with Todoroki.

But now, you were ceying in front of him and he realises now, that his actions had driven a bigger rift between the two of you than he had thought.

"Y-you won't talk to me anymore! And i'm- i'm so worried that i've lost you as a friend! Please-! Was it something I said? Just- just tell me where i went wrong- please-! Iida i'm so very sorry-"

In his head he berates himself, because in his selfish act of pushing you away, he jeopardised your friendship and trust and became the cause of emotional turmoil. He was absolutely in the wrong here! This behavour is not becoming of a future hero- what kind of saviour makes a woman cry? As a representative of class 1-A and some of the most promising young heroes, he should be ashamed, and he owes you an apology!

But more important than that, is the sting in his heart and the lump in his throat that tell him no matter who he is- hero or not- he has hurt his friend as a result of his stupidity. And it's frustrating. It feels bad. Genuinely bad.

It's a crushing guilt that weighs down his shoulders as he sees you breaking down and furiously wiping your tears away. The dejected feeling of having upset and caused distress to someone so dear to him.

He feels absolutely gutted, and his heart drops to his stomach.

In silence he pulls you closer, giving you a gentle embrace to let you know that everything is okay, before pulling back and bowing about as low as the gravel at his feet will allow him to.

"Please, (-), allow my to offer you my most sincere apology! Even I know that it is not enough to right my wrong, but it is all i can offer you, along with the explanation that you deserve!

You see, I had distanced myself from you because I had unknowingly fallen in love with you, however I did not wish to put any strain on your relationship with Todoroki. To do so would be incredibly unbecoming of a friend and future hero representing our class 1-A.

However, I did not realise that this would jeopardise our friendship the way it has, or bring you such emotional turmoil. To not think about the consequences of my actions was childish and immature of me! Please allow me your forgiveness!"

By now your tears had stopped and you were dizzy with the unexpected embrace and detailed, sincere apology, only one thought really striking you.

"My-... my relationship? With... Todoroki??..."

You have always been, and remain to be single.

As single as the lost sock down the side of the bed.

As single as a thirty-five year old man called graham.

As single as the third wheel on a tricycle.

Oops.

It's then when it dawns upon Iida just how stupid, and head- over- engines in love he was. He had just assumed you were both in a relationship. How absolutely silly of him.

"I see now... This was all a misunderstanding, then, i presume?

Well, i must say this is a touch embarrassing. I will do better to not assume such things in the future! To not learn from such an elementary mistake would be-"

You quickly cut off that bullshit with a kiss, unable to keep yourself from giggling at his antics. He's a genuinely stand- up guy, and you would love to get to know him more, after all, he actually knows how and when to apologise unlike most men.

[booksofstars]

okay so. the tnp au:

-it’s about establishing skyclan, rather than finding a new home. i think theyd still go see midnight/the sundrown place. maybe midnight could be the one to tell them about skyclan??

-squilf and leafs sister telepathy does not fade out. it is an important plotline.

-the clans are still suffering and recovering from tigerstars reign, so leafpaws story revolves around that mostly

-the cats who go on the journey are as follows:

-squirrelpaw*, brambleclaw, and shrewpaw (who comes along for the same reasons stormfur does)

-crowpaw*

-feathertail*, stormfur, and hawkpaw

-tawnypelt*

*means theyve been getting dreams about skyclan. squilf is the only one to actually communicate with them tho :>

-hawkfrost is a. not evil in this au and b. feathertails apprentice. he, squilf, crow, feather, and shrew are all friends. he bonds with tawnypelt too, but is uncomfortable around brambleclaw, though he cant figure out why. hes a very good brother to moth here btw!! he doesnt fake the moth sign, he just finds it in front of the med den. im a sucker for good hawkfrost sorry gang

-brambleclaw is a villain here, he kinda takes hawkfrosts role. he has grown more and more jaded due to the way everyone, especially firestar, views him. though he declared he would never join his father, his anger sent him down a dark path.

-squilf operates as the trainer for medicine cats with the help of leaf! she and crow become a lot closer during this time too. (squirrel/crow/shrew qpr!!!!) hawk also spends a lot of time with them, bc he likes learning about herbs (it gives him something to bond with moth over). tawny joins them and realizes that she kinda has a knack for healing!! (she prefers being a warrior tho so she sticks to helping squilf)

- skywatcher tells squilf the three prophecy. he also tells her that a silver cat and the spirit of skyclan will save the skies.

-feather, storm, and hawk successfully recruit everyone into skyclan. more cats join than canon, they dont only try and recruit cats who look like they mightve been related to skyclan cats

-the rats are replaced by sharptooth here. theres been several generations of pumas hunting skyclan im so sorry skyclan. they lurk in the whispering cave (which is what prevents leafstar from getting her lives)

-skyclan gains a unique culture due to the influence of the travel gang. theyre also the first clan to have music and art. the cats from skyclans destiny (the rogues) join the clan (minus stick).

-sharptooths attacks get worse and worse, so the gang creates a plan to kill them. brambleclaw, by now fully convinced to follow all that his father says, sabotages feathertail and squilf when theyre luring sharptooth into the river. his goal here was to kill squilf. after all, shes never been seen as an extension of her father, has she?

-feathertail saves squilfs life, and is nearly cost her own. the apprentices save her while tawnypelt attacks brambleclaw. feathertail loses part of her tail and breaks one of her back legs in the scuffle. her friends stay by her side unrelentingly as she heals.

-tawnypelt drags brambleclaw into camp and has him imprisoned.

-leafstars leadership ceremony occurs, with every travel member but brambleclaw present. everyone probably cries bc i would. rather than spottedleaf giving leafstar a life for healing, skystar gives her a life for prudence. leafstar names cora (skyclan name pending. maybe corashadow?) her deputy.

-leafstar refuses to let the apprentices leave without making them warriors. squirrelpaw becomes squirrelshine, crowpaw become crowflight, shrewpaw becomes shrewtuft, and hawkpaw becomes hawkfeather.

-the gang heads home. brambleclaw manages to escape from skyclan and follow them, with it being to late for skyclan to warn the gang

-joyous reunion between everyone!! moth and leaf are very obviously in love and squilf and hawk make a pact to get them together.

-focus shifts to windclan and the revolution there for a while (from crowpaws perspective.) when mudclaw dies after falling from outlook rock, crow runs away to join thunderclan.

-ash and squirrel become good friends. ashfur has a crush on squirrelshine, but she gently rejects him. he takes it just as badly as in canon.

-the badger attack is still canon. leafspirit (leafpool) runs away after cinderpelt passes away. she eventually returns, having had a short relationship with a kittypet.

-ashfur finds brambleclaw, and helps him with his plot to kill firestar. ash to hurt squirrelshine, and bramble to get his revenge on firestar and fulfill what tigerstar failed to do.

-brambleclaw makes his way back to the clans. he tries to kill firestar like hawkfrost does in canon, but hawkfeather and tawnypelt stop him. tawnypelt manages to kill him, and the lake runs red.

-leafspirit runs off again to have her kits. squirrelshine brings mothwing along to find her. they name the kits skykit (jaykit), moonkit (hollykit), and sunkit (lionkit).

other notes:

-starclan guides leaf and squirrel gently and kindly in this au. starclan works in two parts: the spirits and the storyweavers. the spirits are the same as starclan canon (but the same as in life and not butchered). they are not supposed to appear to living cats outside of leadership ceremonies, but a group of them have rebelled and left to guide the living. the storyweavers appear to the medicine cats and create the prophecies and omens. they are uncaring to the plight of the living, only caring for the destinies theyve written. ill reblog to say whos left the spirits later. they (the rebel spirits) are there through the whole arc btw

[actualbird]

Oh god!

I really love the poly headcanons they are so sweet.... (or don't but that's part of it and i think the tot boys+MC deserve all the love the world has to give).

But, liking it or not, our 4 beloved boys are kinda complicated (that's what makes them perfect). Plus I never thought about how people get in poly relationships. So i was thinking, how do you think they all get into a polyrelationship together?

(I really have no idea of how that would happen)

hi, two anons!! im glad you guys liked my nxx team polycule stuff!! i'll answer these in one go, my "headcanon" (in quotes because i think this kinda turned into a character analysis/minific of sorts HAHA) being what first anon asked, How They Get Together.

heads up, wc of this is 1.9k words long so buckle up for a bit of a read jfsjdfkjbf

because first anon, youre right!!! the boys are stupendously complicated which i love so so much but canon has also shown us clearly that each of the boys' quirks and habits and tendencies causes a lot of (mostly played for laughs) friction. the bickering, the backhanded insults, the "im the best one here" preening contests. theyre all SOOOO RIDICULOUS and it is hilarious but yep! the boys r complex!! and that means this beautiful ship, imo, has a lot of phases to get to the actual romantic relationship bit.

how they get together, in my opinion, starts because of mc.

not in the sense that she matchmakes them all, but like.

phase 1 of the nxx team polycule is this:

through being in love with her (which we all know the boys 100% are), each of the boys come to terms with their own flaws and weaknesses. it's very apparent to me in all the story thus far that these boys are flawed as hell, it's very compelling but even more compelling to me is how all of them also do intense mental gymnastics to Not Confront Those Flaws. like, marius is a dickbag always teasing and toeing the line of insincerity, vyn is a controlling mf who always tries to sway situations to his benefit, artem is so repressed to the point that he has genuine trouble with emotions, luke is a self sacrificial bastard and also a huge hypocrite about how no, actually, hes the only one that should be hiding his pain and being dishonest, no dishonesty from other people!! in the beginning of the story, all the boys have their flaws and seem to have just kinda...not addressed how those flaws are harming them and the people around them.

and then mc rolls around and they all fall in love with her. and she sees those flaws and she doesnt let them slide. she challenges the boys in her own ways to see another side of the situation, to acknowledge what theyre doing. she doesnt want to get rid of flaws, thats impossible and also not cool. she just has this beautiful hope for like, all of humanity, that goodness can prevail with the right work. so when she sees her beloved nxx boys, she believes that for them as well.

which leads to phase 2 of the nxx team polycule:

the boys, more aware of themselves, become more aware of each other.

they werent Unaware of the others of course. it's just that they didnt like...truly connect on a personal level just yet. they saw the other teammembers with their emotional armor and flaws and saw a wall that wasnt worth looking past.

but after mc makes them realize that hey, flaws arent the end of the world actually, it's alright and the person behind them may just be worth it, the boys like. end up understanding the others. A LOT OF THIS BIT IS UNINTENTIONAL, ON THEIR PARTS KJDSBFS. like they stumble into understanding each other by accident, they didnt plan it, but over the course of nxx investigations, it's inevitable that they end up seeing the depths of the others. i delve into this a little bit in my fanfic "filler eps of the lost gold" where the boys are just going thru their actions and then trip over another boy's fears or desires and through that, gain a deeper understanding mutually.

and with understanding, sometimes, comes trust.

phase 3 of the nxx team polycule goes like this:

everybody in this team, whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not, has a heart that wants to give love so desperately.

marius lives in a world full of snakes so he cant have his heart on his sleeve for his own protection. vyn wants to be seen as perfect and the heart is inherently messy so he holds it back. artem for a very very long time was focused on work and success and achievement that he neglected his heart. and luke has been giving love all his life in a sense but in a way thats hidden.

all these tendencies that are brought upon their life circumstances results in this: they want to love honestly but they havent been able to do this

until mc. and all of them want to push back whatever fears or patterns their life has instilled in them because they see her and see somebody so unwaveringly good that all their hearts begin giving love to her to make her happy and to make themselves happy as well.

but heres the thing. the boys dont just see mc. by this point, they have connected and understood and come to trust each other as well, and the consequence of that is that They Can See Each Other Now Too, Truly.

and heres the thing. all of the boys are unwaveringly good as well.

one by one, each of the boys realize that what they feel for the other boys in the team starts to...change. yeah theyre all friends, they pick on each other a lot of the time, but the bedrock of the relationship is solid and strong now. but when marius is with luke, marius sees a light inside of luke so bright that he seems unaware that he gives off. when artem is with vyn, artem sees a goodness inside of vyn that hesitates to make itself obvious and known because vyn is scared of getting hurt thanks to it. all of them see the other and their goodness and, unbidden, their hearts want to give love to each other as well.

and because theyre all a bit stupid in their own way theyre like, huh, weird! wonder why this feeling is so familiar! and yet i cant seem to name it...and then they all independently compare these feeling with the feelings they have for mc, a feeling they do know the name of, and theyre like.

WAIT.

THESE FEELINGS ARE...VERY BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL FOR MC.

which only means one thing: theyve fallen in love with everybody else

marius: //goes to his studio to Think and sees that a bunch of his recent art actually had little crumbs of these feelings already, etched into the brushstrokes and scenes. has an emotional crisis about it

vyn: //records a 1 hour long entry in his audio diary to examine and gain control of his feelings but by the end of the hour all he knows is that he wants to hold these people and be held by them

artem: //quite literally just bluescreens, artem.exe has stopped working, sits at his study and slowly, slowly, thunks his head down onto his desk, valiantly trying to ignore the fast pulse of his heart

luke: //manically vents about it to peanut who, by virtue of being a bird, doesnt get it. just keeps talking at peanut to get a grasp of it all and then lies down on the floor, overwhelmed

mc, sitting in her apartment watching some netflix: ...why do i inexplicably feel as if something very, very important has just happened?

phase 4 of the nxx team polycule is basically:

pining: extreme difficulty level

because pining is already hard when ur pining for one person. what more for an additional 3 more people. and those additional 3 more people are pining back.

and all these boys are SOOOO OBVIOUS with their romantic feelings, in their own special way. the way they show their affection to mc starts to bleed into their interactions with the others and everybody can CLEARLY SEE WHAT IS GOING ON, LOL, but also all the boys are too chickenshit to confront it, because if they confront it, what will even happen??? being in love with each other, all of them, thats going to be such a complicated fucking relationship, holy shit. it's 2030, yeah, being a polyamorous group relationship isnt completely unheard of, but sue them, theyre scared.

but mc (who i forgot to mention already knows of the boys' romantic feelings for her, shes just hasnt made a move yet on any of them because SHES IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM AS WELL and shes been trying to figure out how the hell to make that work, she cant bear to choose just one of them, she'd be heartbroken over leaving the rest of them behind) sees that the nxx investigation team is now all pining for each other FULLY and she kinda wants to laugh when she realizes whats going on because like, what are the chances? that this would happen? that they all found each other and their feelings fell into just the right place for nobody to be left behind?

theyre all scared, she can tell. and she is as well, she wont lie.

but shes always had a belief that goodness can prevail with the right work.

and love is one of the greatest goods out there.

phase 5 of the nxx team polycule:

It's Time For Communication, Baby!!!!!

the exact scenes of how this happens is a bit vague to me. it could go two ways: mc going to each of the boys independently to talk about feelings, hers about everybodys and his about everybodys as well. OR they have a fucking meeting about it all together and artem literally schedules it in his google calendar, or something.

either way, they like, actually talk about this. starts casual, maybe over a chill date, maybe over dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe over a walk in the park as the sun is starting to set. but where ever it happens, the end result is the same: a heart is laid out bare and it is taken in gentle, grateful hands.

marius: OKAY, NOW THAT THE FEELINGS ARE OUT OF THE WAY, CAN I PLEASE KISS ONE OR ALL OF YOU, PLEASE, IVE BEEN WANTING TO KISS U GUYS FOR FOREVER

vyn, laughing fondly: has anybody ever told you patience is a virtue? we quite literally just talked it all out.

marius: //needy whining noises

artem, embarrassed: ive...never kissed anybody before

luke, embarrassed but trying to play it Cool: ....same here

mc: kissing is great, you two will love it!

marius: awesome, awesome, so is ANYBODY going to give me a go ahead or WHAT????

phase 6 of the nxx team polycule:

i dont want to say it's happily ever after, once they all get together. thats not really realistic.

they all have their quirks and tendencies and habits. and those will inevitable clash against each other. theyll have their arguments, theyll get upset, theyll sulk and be angry, sometimes. but also...

theyll see each other smile and feel like their love shining so brightly. theyll reach out for another's hand and be held in such a way that makes them think that their heart is in a safe place. theyll love each other and theyll put in the work to continue loving each other. because goodness will prevail.

and they all see each other as the most good people in the world.

so whatever happens, theyll get through it together.

[spookypotato]

dont ask why, but

person A having a really bad crush on person B, but they're convinced B doesnt like them at all, not even in a friendly way, so A tries to cope with their crush by talking the B down and trying to convince themselves they dont like B that way

that way B gets the impression A hates them and B genuinely dislikes them at that point, because they keep saying borderline mean things

they get a bit of an enemies dynamic, founded by nothing basically and there are a few words that hurt where the one that said them feels bad even if they never meant it to hurt that much

but the dynamic continues

[enter the supernatural part]

then one day A wishes on... a magic well (idk) they only want to wake up next to B and they cant deal with this hatred anymore, because they've been looking for each other at clubs they go to or the school they're at, just to make the other see that they're ignoring them

therefore the crush doesnt grow any weaker, but B still doesnt like A, but is also kind of fond of their teasing

anyway, so A wishes to only wake up next to B and The Wishing Well (TM) Grant's that wish

next day, they wake up next to each other, both confused and as soon as they recognize who they're next to pissed at the situation

they wonder how they got there, sometimes it's that A magically wakes up in Bs bed, sometimes the other way around

the first time it happens is B in As bed and they cant explain it

they havent moved, theyve never sleepwalked, they didnt get drunk and they just have no explanation

still they wonder if they did something, but they would know right? anyway, let's just forget about it

til it happens again

and again

and again every single morning

at this point A is kind of catching on that they wished for exactly this, but not sure

B is just panicking, thinking they black out on a daily basis

but the thing is, they dont mind as much as they pretend, because after the first initial day of "what the fuck am I doing here", the second time, it's not that bad

theyve grown to like the light weight next to them when they wake up, the arm draped across their torso, the breath ghosting over their shoulder

they just like the contact, no matter who it was with

or that's what they tell themselves, because ofc they're developing a crush at this point

A doesnt mind either, it just stings a bit everytime they decide to break contact and put on an acts of surprise that is completely unnatural at this point, it happend for like 2 weeks straight

and no matter what they did, how far they were apart, one of them always ended up next to the other

then A goes on a trip to another country (maybe with someone, maybe alone) and as magic would have it, B ends up with them the next morning

if A brought a person on the trip, cue A trying to hide B in their room

B stays a day since 'they're gonna wake up together again anyway'

The person A brought travels home, but A planned on staying for a few extra days and so B automatically also stays, because again 'were gonna wake up together again anyway'

they genuinely have a good time there and replace the actual mean comments with flirty teasing

at this point they definitely both like each other

they go home and are reminded of their reality, they literally cannot spend a day apart

B used to have regular sleepovers at their friends house and they hadnt been able to do that in weeks, so Bs friends are confused and worried, if not a bit hurt, because B wont give them an explanation for why they didnt feel like doing thing with their friends for so long

when seeing B this sad, A decides to just try to solve this

they go back to The Wishing Well (TM) and take back their wish

the next morning they wake up alone

B is confused and kind of missed the company in the morning

A thinks it's for the better

after a few days (and awkward hallway glances, that dont seem electric because of the hatred, but because of longing now), B gets the courage to talk about it with A

A confessed what they did and tell B that it's better for B anyway

B takes a leap of faith and disagrees

and that's what happens when you listen to the song Vera by JUNG...

anyone feel free to write this lmao, but tag me, I wanna read it, please

yes, I imagined this with wilmon sh

[krabmeat]

𝟷𝟶𝟶 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚜? 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢? 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔? 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛?

HELL YEAH FELLAS YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT!! FIRST MAJOR MILESTONE BAYBEEEE LETS GOOOOOO!!

guys, i really dont think you see how insanely mental this is. like what?!?! i joined here cause a friend of mine was gushing about a writer here and eventually convinced me to get tumblr. they called me their "noob reading friend /affectionate" and now look at me!! not even a year in and ive gained a crowd? thats so damn cool to think about!! to think that this many people are willing to put aside time in their day to read some fics made by me, im floored man!! all in all though, i have no one to thank but my wonderful mutuals and followers who have helped floor and construct the fantastic beginnings of this blog. which is why im here to bring you all this event that i sincerely hope you guys enjoy!

🦑KRABS KAN MAKE WRITING EVENTS WOW!!🦑

ALRIGHT FELLAS, IM DOING A WRITING EVENT!! HERES THE RULES AND PROMPTS NOW BOSSMEN!

~rules~

only 2 people per prompt

despite me not writing romantic fics yet, all participants are absolutely welcome to!

no smut/nsfw, im not that kind of blog and i do plan on reading entries so please dont submit anything related!!

any and all fics glorifying and supporting bigoted or misogynistic ideals will not be tolerated or respected. this is non-negotioable but if the fic has any of this that results in the putting down of or generally recognizing these ideals as negative then that is completely fine!

you are to use the quote prompts in your fic (im gonna be loose on this though so dw!! :DD)

you can use as many different prompts as youd like!!

please keep submissions in mcyt territory as thats who i write for most. but this doesnt confine to just mcyts in the dsmp! go wild dudes, hermitcraft, third life, pop off!!

keep all fics for minors platonic and platonic ONLY

generally know and respect the boundaries for ccs

when asking for a prompt, please put who you will be writing for!!

TAG ME IN YOUR FICS!! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH PLEASE ID ADORE IT IF YOU TAGGED ME SO I CAN READ YOUR WONDERFUL WORK!!

you can use and interpret the prompts any way you want! doesnt matter if its in the angst section, you see fluff potential? go for it, vice versa!!

~prompts~

~fluff~

"I swear, if you make us late one more time I'll tape a clock to your wrist." "Isnt that a watch-?" "Shut it!"

"Look! I think it likes me!" (@ohworm-writes with cc!beeduo)

"Man, how did I catch such a good person?"

"Yknow, your parents really did something great when they made you."

"WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN?!" "THERE ARE WARNING LABELS RIGHT THERE!"

"Take a picture, itll last longer~" "Okay!" "Wait you actually did that-?"

"That does NOT fit you." "Yeah it does! Just gotta roll it up a bit!"

"You aren't 'built different', you're just stupid." (@ohworm-writes with cc!tommy @jschllatt with cc!sapnap

"If it ever happens again, tell me. You know i adore you."

"Well..they dont even deserve you anyways! Just look at you- gorgeous!!"

~angst~

"KEEP F*CKING WALKING, THEN! CANT EVEN FACE YOUR OWN DAMN PARTNER! (or friend! :])"

"No, youre amazing!" "Then why arent i treated like it?"

"Do it again, see if i care."

"Guys..? GUYS! THEY ARENT MOVING!"

"Put the damn drink down and talk to me!"

"Its about time you get whats due, you know."

"So not only do you think im stupid, but you also think im still naive?"

"Just take me seriously for once in your damn life!"

"You'd better start running in the next 5 seconds."

"What do you take me for, a joke?!" "Wasnt that obvious?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

now that thats done, heres the ask game part of the event!!! send me the corresponding emoji in my ask box and ill respond!

👽~ ill tell you a weird or memorable occurance that has happened on tumblr between friends and moots!

😳~ ill kin assign you and try to guess who you kin! (friends and moots only)

🍒~ ill rate your blog aesthetic on a scale of 1-10

🥀~ ill give you a bunch of emojis that remind me of you! (friends and moots only)

😎~ ill tell you obscure things i think are very neat!

🌺~ ill tell you a random interesting fact i know!

🦑~ if you send me a description of yourself, personality etc then ill write you a short ship fic with a mcyt!! specify if you want it to be platonic or romantic and if you want it to be c! or cc!(this is to work on my romantic writing!! friends and moots only)

💃~ ill tell you songs that remind me of you! (friends and moots only)

📕~ ill tell you something small or obscure i secretly think about you! (friends and moots only)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

now...onto the final part- HONOURABLE MENTIONS!!!

@myceliummenace ~ these guys got me into tumblr, some of my closest friends and theyve been supporting me since day one. i couldnt be happier to breathe the same air as these guys, they all deserve a crown and if you disagree i will chomp your hand

@niceimafan ~ an absolute saint!! i came across inks former writing blog and fell in love with both them and their wonderful work /p!!!! theyve helped me through some hellish times and are all around so damn open and accepting

@jschllatt ~ istfg this lady is just-- SOOOO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT??? nat is incredibly talented and has encouraged me throughout my time here and i couldnt be happier with how weve grown as friends!! and i know, despite how wholesome and soft nat seems to be i promise you she knows how to keep a bit going like no other. an amazing moot, stay funky :]

@im-an-ungodly-mess ~ okay look,, i know i havent interacted with these guys for a lot buttt...CAN YOU REALLY BLAME ME??!!? LIKE CMON THEYRE ALL JUST SO COOL!!! the moment i met them i knew our chaotic energies would merge and boy did they merge alright. also theyre just insanely nice and super willing to endulge with me in my random interest which is always a sexy trait to have. 10 out of 10, these guys are neato

@ohworm-writes ~ ahhh wormmm, delightful all around and just a sweetheart....BUT THEYVE GOT SHENANIGANS- as well as being extremely skilled as well like, dayummm!!! i live for our bond over fandoms outside of the mcyt fandom and i feel blessed to have you be a moot! much love, dear!

@marcooze ~ bro....whyd you have to do me like that dude? being so gosh damn kind and accepting like that like sheesh all the stuff you reblog is gold!!! it can be the most cracked out post or the most serious and informational one. idgaf that youre a reblog blog, you mean the world to me and i shall place a supple kiss on your hand as bros do <3

@ramzawrites ~ THE FIRST WRITERS BLOG IVE EVER FOLLOWED!!! ramza dear, if no one has ever told you how iconic you are then PLEASE LET ME BE THE FIRST!!! everything you do leaves me in awe and despite your talent, you still have miles and miles of kindness and generosity? you are one in a million, ramza. you deserve everything and please know how much you mean to me. thank you for supporting me so much for so long, and i hope your days are filled with really cool rocks :]]

[innocencelives]

not really a surprise but this birth day came with familiar sadness. being sick i couldnt hang out with people but my friendd still managed to bring me a bag of goodies which was sweet. i tried not to but i was reflecting on the last several years which just feel like a blur. i feel so old, i look even older. years of ptsd making self care difficult has rlly ravaged me. i look ancient. in comparison to last year alot of big things have happened and im proud of myself. today more than ever i couldnt stop thinking about my family. and the life i left behind, the many people i left behind both good and bad. the death knell was seeing a picture a friend took me and noticing i am the spitting image of my abusive father. doesnt feel great but that somehow didnt make me spiral. what did was just feeling lonely. i find myself saying this alot, that i just want to forget my past. i feel like my brain is poisoned with the memories of what, the first 18 whole years of my life? thats a long fucking time. i just dont want to think about it. its not like theyve passed away, its worse, there thousands of miles away living the same life i left. both mine and theirs irreparably changed by me leaving. no part of this is regret, im not letting this sadness turn into “oh its your fault you spoke up about abuse” i know its not, i know i did the right thing, i know there was no other option. but that life is something i have to carry with me everywhere i go. god i think about them alot. i think about my mom, and how unstable she was, how complicated her relationship was with us. how she shifted between genuine love and total apathy. how she could love us so much but throw us away like nothing. i think about my dad, especially about his past. the generational traumas and pain that cascaded down our lineage and landed in my lap. i think about how much pain he must be in, and must have been in all my life. what he did was unthinkable, looking at it birds eye view, i guess i relate to him. in a sense we both grew up with abuse, only he let it consume him, and i fought my way out. i think about my brother. who still probably cant understand the degree to which our childhood affected him. and most of all i think about my sister. i love her so much. with all of my heart. and it breaks me everyday that she might never realize the truth. everytime im listening to a favorite song of mine, i add it to this playlist. its been years and it now has like 500 songs. and i always planned on listening to them in the car with her when we met again. i hope that day will come. but i cant count on it. its heartbreaking. but what else can i do? truly theres nothing. i escaped for my own safety. i keep telling myself to focus on the life i have now. my friend agreed, i built a beautiful life for myself, with so much love. thats why this old life feels like a poison. i just want to forget. but i cant. so i live. just keep living. nothing else you can do

[bakugohoex]

chapter seven ➺  hidden motives

pairing: pro hero katsuki bakugo x pro hero female reader

cw: language 

word count: 2100+

a/n: i promise this series will end soon, i just havent posted for it since decmber whoops, also i promise later on there will be be a lot more action between you and bakugo, i just need to set the plot up, and from the next two chapters theyve got a lot of contact between the two of you

summary:  in which the untrustworthiness of heroes has arised and you and toga get sent on your own little mission, what turns into gaining intel turns into something a lot bigger than you expected, with old friends coming back and an understandment that you were lied to for a very long time

chapter six | masterlist | chapter eight

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

The purple bruises from last week had disappeared, but the burnt sensation around your wrist remained, it had began to heal but even then, the bandages that Bakugo replaced every night didn’t help. You and Bakugo sat in front of the tv, Tomura with a drink in his hand and Toga beside you trying to gain your attention.

“Can we still really trust the heroes?” One of the civilians had spoken through the TV but you had stopped paying attention. 

Toga’s lips curved to a smirk at the sight of the screen, the events of the prior week had been televised. The blazing night, the murders that occurred and then the couple, the couple you led to death. You could feel Bakugo shift his weight closer to you, he didn’t speak, no usual anger, he was complying watching along. Your face was the next to pop up, a picture taken at the scene where you had stopped the two police officers from grabbing Dabi.

“Ex pro hero Y/n Y/l/n was seen running out of an alleyway after what seemed to be her partner had robbed a convenience store, inside the alleyway were two unconscious police men. If you see this woman contact the police and stay away from her, she is highly dangerous…”

Bakugo closed the TV, seeing how your face had turned sour, “don’t worry about it.” It was soft but you could sense that he was getting more and more frustrated being surrounded by villains.

He had been on ice with Dabi, glaring at him whenever he could, refusing to go out with him and opting to go with Mr Compress. He hated this but most of all he hated seeing how vulnerable you had gotten. You were both cold and sad to him, he’d hear soft sobs some nights and others you were cold and reclusive.

You knew watching the broadcast what you were, a pawn. The Front would never need someone like you, they always wanted Bakugo, but you, they would wear you down until you died in your own means.

“Dabi should be back now, you both can go.” Tomura had told you and Toga that you’d both have to collect some files; it was easy enough to sneak into the commission. With both your quirks you could easily get past security and get the files that they needed. You didn’t question why Tomura had even asked you both to go, but you complied, and Toga had become impatient and grabbed your bandaged arm.

You had wanted to ask what Dabi had been doing but didn’t bother seeing him agitated. His mind was always eerily empty, he never had thoughts and was always just planning his next villainous plan or deciding a meeting for this mysterious man he had been associated with. He never spoke the name of the man and it seemed like nobody ever questioned where he went past midnight.

Suppressing the pain, you gain a fake grin to the girl, her grip still around your burnt arm, it would need checking up properly but that would never occur. You both began walking outside, your black hoodies covering your head and the sunglasses you wore. It had become a lot darker through the afternoon, so it looked normal enough.

Her voice kept playing in the back of your ears, you weren’t paying attention to her, her voice being very annoying, and you wished you could just tell her to fuck off. But you nodded, agreed at her words, acted out as a perfect little villain that you were.

“Y/n, we’re here.” Her cruel grin was evident in her malice tone, she looked between the commission building that you had been in, only three weeks ago. But here you were, a villain ready to infiltrate, you both hid to the side, already knowing what she was going to do.

Seeing the man come to the side, a cigarette in his hands, Toga grabbed her knife and stuck it in him before ingesting his blood. “Y/n now.” She spoke as he tried to scream for help, instead you controlled his head and pushed him into the concrete making him go unconscious. You saw the large rubbish container; you should’ve probably put him in there. But his bleeding head would be fine, and you still wanted him to be found.

You watched her transform in the man and began controlling those in the building. It was a mass group, but your main goal was to control those at the bottom floor and then in groups once you were passed security. She started walking towards the door and you followed, all the thoughts that filled your head would definitely give you a headache, but you kept at it, every single one of them was under your quirk, making them allow you through, letting you both into the elevator and with ease you had made it with the girl.

She tried to figure out what the man’s quirk was, but to no avail couldn’t, trying everything even hurting herself. But it didn’t work, “Y/n, you should’ve looked in his head to see what his quirk was.”

“Sorry, next time I will.” You tapped your foot impatiently; she watched your eyes skim the buttons of the elevator. You remember running away from this exact elevator to tell the president that you would agree to this.

You wondered how she was doing in a safe house, how Todoroki was doing, if being dead was nice and calm for the two of them. You knew when the plan was initiated, they’d both have there own reveals, how they could both go back to their own lives. But you knew most of all, that you’d owe Todoroki, you’d treat the boy to dinner or some other meal.

Toga softly pushed your arm, getting you out of your gaze, you followed her, controlling the cameras away from you both and finally reaching the file room. The commission had decided to have both paper and electronic copies of each human with a quirk, each pro hero and each villain. You had gone through the database a lot when you first started out as a sidekick, you knew the system by the back of your hand.

“We need hard copies.” You nodded, Tomura had gave you both a list to get the files for. You had assumed it was to see how he could vitalise different people to benefit him. But the list varied from normal humans, to pro heroes and villains, it didn’t make sense at all. You grabbed the files you and Toga had designated, before going through the pro heroes cabinet. Finding both yours and Bakugo’s file, your names in bold, with the words inactive stamped across it. You saw the photos they had used, it was fresh out of UA, how young you both had been, so vulnerable unaware of what was to come.

You softly skimmed on Bakugo’s photos, the nights you had been spending in the same bed had brought another side to the boy. Kinder, softer even, he still acted like a dickhead, but he knew the position you both were in and was trying to remind you of why you were even doing this.

“Y/n, I cant find this guy’s, help me.” She whined using the mans voice, it sounded horrific, but you nodded, dropping the files back in the cabinet and walking back to her.

“What’s the name?” She passes the piece of paper, taking a look at the name sprawled over it. The name Aone, you went through the A section, trying to look for the name.

That’s when you saw it, the name of someone a lot more familiar. The lettering was exact, even the surname was the same. But it couldn’t be, his name sprawled in a file of villains, a file of active villains. He couldn’t be, he was dead, he couldn’t exist, he couldn’t be alive. You touched the folder, your mind going through the motions, you heard a squeal Toga having found the file. But all you could see was the name, the name that you hadn’t heard since you were 15 years old. The name of the boy who had saved you, who you had lost.

Grabbing the folder and putting it on top of the others, you both left as quickly as you could. But as fate would have it the loud sound of an alarm blared through the rooms, the elevator had locked itself and being on the fifth floor was not the plan. You saw how heroes had come running up the stairs.

“What do we do Y/n?” Toga had transformed back to herself, and you knew there was only one way out.

You grabbed her, passing her the folders, “keep them tight, you trust me.” It was a stupid question, there was no trust within the two of you, you both were not even friends.

“Just do it.” She muttered grabbing onto the papers with a force, you held her arm, seeing the quirks activate around you.

And a face you hadn’t expected, “Y/n.”

“Deku.” You whispered. He had his arm out, the red and yellow circling his arms, you went into his head saying the words he was shocked to hear. A sorry, an apology, not something a true villain would ever say, he hadn’t expected to see you here, noticing the files in Toga’s hands. He wanted to stop you, but you had gone off in a run.

“Y/n don’t.” He shouted.

It hadn’t stopped you, the window shattered from the force, you both flew out of the window, falling lower and lower, you saw the rubbish container, moving it to where you’d land. It had been a quick movement, and you both landed with a loud scream into the rubbish.

“We have to run.” You said to her grabbing the files and taking off out of the rubbish heap. You took one look back to the building, Midoriya looking out of the window. The saddened face he had, you remembered the first time you had met him, having introduced yourself on the first day of UA. He had always thought of you to be the sweetest girl to ever exist. But here you were, and he could hardly even recognise you.

You could hear the pro heroes try and run after you, but you did something drastic to stop them. Moving the cars that had been on the road to crash into each other and stop the heroes movements, it was petty. But it had worked and both you and Toga both ran for your life’s worth.

Toga was the first to run into the Front’s building, you behind, you had slipped the file quickly away from her own grasp. Knowing she’d ask too many questions, “everything okay?”

Bakugo’s voice was softer and you tried to give a nod, but he continued, “she mentioned shitty Deku, what happened?”

“I’ll tell you later.” You tried to excuse yourself but were stopped by his own grip.

His eyes looked angry, but with a hint of worry, “don’t do this shit, tell me now.”

You looked down, not knowing how to speak, you just wanted to leave, find out the truth but you had to deal with the blond boy. “He was at the commission that was it.”

His grip on your arm had loosened but still lingered, eyeing you up and down. “Did you say anything to him?”

You shook your head, but the slam of the wall that you had been leaning against, caught everybody off guard. Toga stopping her recount of the event as she watched your eyes calmer than usual. The yellow sparks making the wall become ashier.

“Don’t fucking lie to me Y/n, not when we’ve been through too much.” He had known in an instant you had lied; he knew your tell so easily, how you’d answer questions with your facial expressions rather than speak out the lie.

He knew you too well, had paid attention to you for so many years. He knew you inside and out and it bothered him you had kept it from him. “I said I’m sorry, that’s it.” He looked at your eyes, you were hiding something more. He was not letting this go but had let go of your arm seeing you quickly excuse yourself to get changed. Instead you sat on the bed, the hoodie wrapped around your body, staring at the brown folder, the name on a small label at the top.

Why does a file even exist for him? Files for the dead get moved to the basement, it made no sense. Was there some sort of hidden motive for his file to even exist?

You took a deep breathe, opening the file to see the picture of the deceased boy and the words Active stamped across the field. The name of the boys sprawled largely in bold, it was him. A soft tap against the door and the name ahead of you. Akira was alive.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alainarose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @missmultifangirl @tvwhoresblog @kuroos-world @chrrylevi @ukaisgratefulwhore @answer-the-sirens @animexholic

[babysizedfics]

Poor roman :( but that being said I am heka interested in 5

remus humiliates roman in front of jamal (but jamal is a sweetheart)

vote from this concept voting post!

TWs: swearing, emotional humiliation, arguing, remus is generally pretty mean in this - not "unsympathetic" but his behaviour is not ok, brief alcohol mention but it isnt a main feature

first some background info on remus and ro:

roman and remus' friend groups actually run parallel to each other by pure councidence in that theyre the same age and are both in the local queer scene

usually they only run into each other on nights out and avoid each other like the plague... until one of romans friends and one of remus' friends become a very serious couple and the friendship groups merge

remus tends to hang it over romans head whenever they argue or remus just feels like teasing him that he could so so easily spill romans secret littlespace to all his friends

and while roman claims to not care he also really doesnt want that to happen, especially the specific things remus threatens to reveal (namely him calling his cgs mommy and daddy, and his fear of the dark - which remus knows are romans biggest embarrassments)

and remus never USUALLY actually follows through on his threats, he loves to freak roman out but he doesnt mean to be intentionslly cruel.

but one night theyve had an argument recently and remus is out to hurt roman and finally follows through on his threat to reveal romans secrets. in front of jamal

((the actual incident below the cut))

all the friends are walking back from a night out, and remus hangs back from the group to talk to jamal. roman is just glaring at remus and not saying anything and holding jamals hand tightly. remus hasnt embarrassed him too bad so far, just asking jamal questions and referring to roman as his "baby brother" which is so annoying, but the thing is roman can tell hes building up to something

then suddenly remus smirks when he sees a completely pitch black side street thats theyre about to pass by, and he calls out to everyone "hey guys, there's a 24/7 mcdonalds through here and its a shortcut to the bus stop" and everyones like WOO mcdonalds and redirects to go down the side street

and romans heart pounds watching the friends all filter down the street without a second thought, theres no streetlights down there, theres light on the other side quite far away, but before that its SO DARK. and he freezes in place and jamal is tugged back by it and looks back at him. "babe, come on"

romans starting to feel shaky and he literally cant move his feet. his eyes flick between the street and remus' sadistic cocky smirk.

"whats wrong baby bro? you stuck or something?" remus leers with that stupid stupid smirk

and roman HATES him so so much

"ro, what's the matter?" jamal asks

"i- um," roman stutters, trying to keep his voice from shaking too much at the sight of his friends just having DISAPPEARED into the darkness - how are they okay with that?? "i- im not hungry"

"okay well i am, and remus said it was a shortcut anyway so-"

"i-i -- no i can't"

seraphina, romans best friend, looks back and notices whats happening and quickly jogs over (knowing roman is scared of the dark) "hey roma, it's okay we dont have to go down there" she soothes

jamal is supportive but he doesnt get it. he thinks roman is scared of criminals or smth. "i promise theres no one bad down there, hun. and i'll be right next to you the whole time, i'll protect you" and he smiles and tugs romans hand to pull him towards the side street

romans eyes quickly tear up and he panics and rambles "nononono dont please please i cant i cant" in a broken voice and plants his feet firmly on the ground, paralysed with fear

remus starts cackling "ohhhhh thats right~" as if he just remembered. "my baby brother's terrified of the dark, isn't he?"

"f*ck off, re" sera barks, standing between the twins, protective of roman

"wait, are you?" jamal asks sounding surprised. roman doesnt let himself look at him, too busy watching remus warily and knowing thats not all he has planned to embarrass roman

remus goes on, shouting out to jamal over sera's head "he's petrified!" he confirms sounding delighted. "yknow that massive blackout last summer? he cried like a baby. literally sobbing for his daddy patton to make it go away"

theres a brief silence because no, sera and jamal didnt expect remus to refer to patton as romans daddy - they both know roman calls him dad but this is a surprise.

and that one second of silence drags on for ages for roman, all he can hear is his heart pounding in his ears and remus' obnoxious laughter

he is shaking, frozen in shock rather than fear now. for all of remus' teasing threats at home, he didnt expect remus to actually do it. hes devastated and humiliated that remus told to his best friend and especially his BOYFRIEND of all ppl

and honestly he's not even thinking about the pitch black side street right now because the streetlights on the main road are blurred by tears welling in his eyes anyway

"why dont you just leave him alone!" sera hisses furiously after her mild shock

then jamal bounces back rlly stern to remus "yeah i already know about that! roman told me and it was HIS choice to tell me"

roman stares at him in disbelief but jamal is too busy staring daggers at remus to notice

remus looks suddenly offended and frowns. hes clearly hurt that the others dont think its funny "jeez youre both such bores. im just having some fun"

"youre demented if you think thats fun" seraphina growls and shoves remus away towards the sidestreet. remus rolls his eyes and runs ahead to join the others who are all oblivious to that coversation, howling with drunken laughter in the pitch black and jumping out and scaring each other

"f*cking prick" jamal calls after remus, seething

sera quickly throws a concerned look to roman "you okay?"

roman just swallows thickly and looks between seraphina and where he saw remus join the others in the pitch black. his stomach churns at the idea of remus telling more people. "i-is he gonna--"

"im on it" sera nods and starts turning around "i wont let him tell anyone else, roma, promise" then she runs ahead to keep an eye on remus and to give him and jamal some privacy

after a moment jamal turns back to roman looking so worried and holds his hands and asks very gently "babe, can you tell me how youre feeling?"

and roman is teary but he whispers "i - you stuck up for me"

jamal looks suddenly sad and cups romans cheek "of course i did"

"but you said i told you about it. i- i didnt tell you that i-" roman gulps after his voice wobbles "i didnt tell you about it"

and jamal smiles sadly and goes "i know babe... im sorry, i just didnt wanna give him any more power. it seemed like he's held that over you for a while"

suddenly the tears in romans eyes overspill and he doesnt really know why but he can't stop them

jama gasps a little "oh roman, its ok" and just pulls him into a tight hug

roman clings and sniffles, glad that he can hide his tears from his boyfriend even if it is in his neck.

and jamal just strokes his back and whispers "its ok baby, its ok" **

they talk about it quietly as they take the longer, well-lit route instead. roman admits he would never have told jamal abt his fear on his own - and the reason he's been avoiding staying overnight at jamals apartment is bc the one time he did he got so scared of the dark that he couldnt sleep and was just anxious all night but wouldnt wake jamal to tell him

after jamal finds out hes like baby why didnt u tell me its okay and comforts him about it not being embarrassing or childish. then:

"so you do actually want to stay at mine, its just because its so dark that you didnt?"

roman nods shyly "yeah... im sorry i know its a dumb fear i just-"

"its not dumb ro. i meant to say if it works for you, we could leave the hall light on and the door open. its not like i live with anyone who can walk in."

roman blinks "wait you - really? it wont make it hard for you to sleep?"

jamal smiles softly "no hun, honestly i could sleep anywhere. i fell asleep in the middle of the day in the staffroom just last month"

roman laughs, so so so relieved

"so... maybe next time you come over for dinner you could stay the night, yeah?" jamal says with a smile and a blush. he wraps his arm around romans waist and pulls him in, hip to hip

roman bites his lip and blushes. after a moment he suggests shyly "im free tonight..."

and jamal smiles so big, stops walking and puts his arm up to romans chest to stop him too then angles romans jaw down to kiss him

in the near future jamal promises to buy a plain nightlight and always leaves it on for roman when he stays overnight from then on

**side note: roman could never stand anyone calling him baby before because he felt infantilised at school becaus of his undiagnosed adhd. so he sees it as a derogatory name more than anything. but when jamal says it roman feels so warm and respected because he knows jamal would never mean it in that way. so jamal has "baby" rights basically

[hello-yue-here]

📓

THANK YOU

okay first up on the list: sukka

bear with me this is all just the background info because this is a fic i started MONTHS ago but gave up on. its a five n one fic but heres all the relevant background info:

suki and sokka met their freshman year of highschool. suki was an annoying know it all of a freshman (hello im projecting onto suki here) and hahn was the sexist jerk who say behind her. sokka was hahns best friend and followed him around like a little puppy. suki knew that sokka was just repeating everything hahn told him ab women but sokka took it and ran with it to look cool for his friends.

naturally, suki and sokka do not get along. suki constantly calls out hahn for his bullshit, sokka defends him, and sokka and suki get into fights while hahn sits back and watches. its even worse because suki and sokka see each other everywhere. student council. musical rehearsal. his hockey practice is right across the street from her job. they are on the same coed soccer and track teams. they have the same classes. they literally are always around each other.

sophomore year comes around and sokkas no longer friends with hahn. partly because his arguments w suki got him to realize he was being sexist. partly because hahns a dick. partly because hahn tried hitting on his girlfriend yue.

sokka apologizes to suki for freshman year and suki is like its fine i got too heated sometimes too and sokka was like well yeah if i were you id wanna rip my head off too dont apologize. suki and sokka are kinda sorta friends now.

junior year yue moves away and sokka is really upset about it. they broke up because they felt they were too young for long distance but it still hurt. suki along with the rest of sokkas friends (sup gaang) are there for him. suki and sokka are friends but they still arent super close yet.

OKAY NOW ONTO THE FIC ITSELF (im so sorry for long posting but i love sukka)

5&1

5 times sokka drove suki home and one time suki drove him

1st ride: sokka offers to drive suki home from a club meeting after overhearing her talking to toph about how her cars in the shop and her mom cant get her until an hour after the meeting ends. she accepts and they drive together. theyve hung out before in group hangs n stuff but theyve never rlly been just the two of them. its nice. sokkas a fast talker and gets very animated and invested in their conversations. they dont wanna stop talking so they just keep driving around town, never too far away from sukis house, for an hour before finally dropping her off.

2nd ride: similar story as before. suki needs a ride home and sokka offers. theyre convo is still very fun and interesting but a lot of the trip this time is actually them just singing songs in the car together and just jamming out. sokka tells suki that her voice is rlly good. suki never heard sokka sing before because he only did tech for shows, but hes not half bad himself. will suki start imagining singing duet with him after this ride? no absolutely not. will sokka? yes absolutely. (jk they both think ab it sukis just in denial)

3rd ride: at this point suki has stopped driving her own car to school and instead has her mom drop her off. her mom doesnt mind, she likes getting to talk to her daughter in the morning (and she knows damn well shes got a crush on that boy who drives her home) and sokka just asks her if she needs a ride, he doesnt wait for her to ask him first anymore. this talk is fun but more serious. sokka keeps asking about suki and her identity as bisexual. suki thinks hes gonna be weird about it but then during a lul in conversation he admits that he thinks hes bi too. lots of comfort. yes ik im projecting onto suki in this fic but this car ride wouldve been MAJOR projecting onto sokka time ayoooo.

4th ride: suki is at a party and hahn is there and sokka isnt and suki is getting pissed off by hahn and wants to leave but she cant drive herself home. she calls sokka and he comes to get her even though its way too late. shes a little drunk still and tells sokka ab hahn being a dick. sokka wants to turn around and “talk to him” but suki is like shut up sokka youd lose that fight and sokka laughs and says not with u by my side to back me up. suki doesnt know if shes drunk or something still but sokka looks really good under the light of the streetlamps they drive past.

5th ride: suki has taken it upon herself to refer to sokka as her chauffeur since he drives her everywhere now. he rolls his eyes and grumbles about it but he always assures her that he doesnt care and that he likes their car rides together. its towards the end of the year and prom is coming up and neither of them have a date. sokka hatches the perfect plan and instead of walking with suki to his car from the school, he tells her to meet him there instead because he has to talk yo a teacher abouy something (lies he got out of class early cuz mr piandao is the goat and sokka needs to set up). when suki gets to his car hes got a whole promposal set up and is holding a sign that says “i know im an excellent driver, but lets get a real chauffeur for once. prom?” and of course she says yes.

+1

suki didnt want a chauffeur for prom. instead she offered to drive the two of them there instead. sokka keeps making jokes about how hes terrified to be in a car with her because of how much katara has complained about sukis driving (i drive fast so suki drives fast deal with it) theyre on their way back from a prom after party and suki is taking sokka home. its quiet and peaceful but sokka wont stop staring at her. “what” she asks “nothing. youre just... really.. pretty. i guess.” hes so awkward. poor kid is so flustered but suki likes it. “yeah ur not to bad urself” “i really like you suki” “i like me too” “im serious” “i know sokka” “so what do you think?” she can see hes nervous now “i thought you were supposed to be smart. im surprised you didnt notice how much u like you too.” “wait really?” his eyes light up “of course dumby. i literally stopped driving to school as an excuse to hang out with you more” smoocie smoocie ensues.

badda bing badda boom: sukka fic.

[daaziscoolbesties]

i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.

i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.

ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.

ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.

and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.

and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.

and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.

i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.

(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).

i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.

they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).

yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.

and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.

so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive