#and i have more thoughts but im gonna sleep now
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candlecoo-sideb-art · 1 day ago
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So, my thought process on the world mythos is that the world was once normal, the seasons cycled throughout the year and humanity lived on routine. However, mortals discovered how to unlock magic a force only the gods had previously held. In fear the gods wished to punish mortals but to do so they had to take care of humanities protector the goddess of the land and seasons. In this world though the gods could live forever they weren't immortal. And the other gods betrayed and killed the goddess of seasons. Upon her death the pattern the world followed broke and as her body decayed her power soaked into the earth and all living things, imbuing all mortal beings with a bit of her magic and locking the seasons into the land.
Seasonal map;
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Light green - early summer
Med green - mid summer
Dark green -late summer
Light orange - early autumn
Med orange - mid autumn
Dark orange/red - late autumn
Light blue - early winter
Med blue - mid winter
Dark blue - late winter
Light pink - early spring
Med pink - mid spring
Dark pink -late spring
Grey - dead zone
Country map;
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Towns and Cities map;
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Kinda want to make a DND homebrew/fantasy story where the seasons are geologically locked and the repercussions of that.
Could be fun.
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jaal-ama-daravv · 15 hours ago
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dissecting act 3 & emmrichs final romance scene (mortal & lich)
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dissecting the graveyard scene dissecting the mortal romance path scene dissecting the mortal emmrich argument scene (all routes) emmrich x rook cinematic (mortal)
lich version dissecting the alternate romance path dissecting the argument scene (lich path) dissecting the emmrich romance scene (lich) mortal vs lich romance path emmrich x rook cinematic
look this is half a thirst trap post im not gonna lie to ya
ACT 3 - OH MY GOD.
Now. We all know that dreaded argument scene that fills us with angst and really gets us in our feelings for the final 4 hours. which was 100% done on purpose, thanks bioware, you succeeded. i did in fact regret that conversation and cried immensely
We have the argument with Emmrich, then we have our mini resolution of Emmrich trying to apologise, and Rook responding with, "We'll talk back home Emmrich, I promise."
Fast forward an hour, and ive just about pulled the plug because emmrich gets trapped by Ghil, someone dies, and then we are sucked into the fade - trapped. FOR WEEKS.
I truly wish bioware included flashbacks, or rook being able to see the lighthouse whilst they were trapped so that we see our LI panic, and fret. Can you imagine Emmrich? The last conversation they had was a fight, and a fight that stemmed from love at that. regardless of the route you took, both rook and emmrich regret that argument deeply. I mean deeply. And most likely regret not saying, i love you in that moment. or any moment. god when emmrich got sucked up by ghil i was locked IN. nothing was stopping me.
Emmrich wouldn't of been able to sleep, he wouldn't of been eating, he would've been working day AND night like a dog on the dagger. he wouldve been irritable, he wouldve been incessant, he wouldn't of been put together, not clean shaven. id bet money on this.
despite bioware not giving us a good reconciliation scene or a glimpse at what happend during those weeks - BOY DID THEY FUCKING EAt with the pulling you out of the fade section. Oh my god. Emmrich's voice being timed right after Varric saying with "You have everything you need", AND THEN PULLING YOU OUT OF THE FADE WITH HIS ARM.
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anyway - AFTER T H A T.
You have the romance scene (mortal dissection | lich dissection)
and then my god - i have no words - literally - just look
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goodbye ovaries
The Final Goodbye (Mortal/Lich)
Now these are the exact same for both mortal and lich, ill tell you when its different below - to which this is dissapointing as I feel like the final romance scene is so 'meh'? it's very idk, scripted. I feel like there needs to be a dip in emmrichs voice when he says i love you to rook - maybe its just me, but regardless, its meh meh to me. the whole scene is just kinda -
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I'll skip to the romance part anyway as there is nothing of substance in the first half
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1. I love you, too.
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I feel like - underwhelmed with this response. its just slapped on like a bumpersticker
2. I'm glad we met.
I cannot believe that this line of dialogue is hidden beneath the most basic of thought processes - i love it
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its emotonal - its hopeful
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YESSSS - PLAN WITH ME!!!! This is digustingly impactful if playing the mortal path. the man has hope for the future. oh I need not say more for its delivered so wonderfully.
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HEHE
3. Be safe. I can't lose you.
I thoroughly enjoy this path, I feel so much emotion from Rook and Emmrich in these lines. the worry, the love. although it is kind of a shock to the system because we still went from. OH MY GOD DEATH, to oh yeah death with Emmrich.
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exactly how the argument scene should've went, BUT, I get it, now if only we had a reconciliation scene in the middle or a conversation, i'd have no notes and be out of business
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Now here is the divergence, of like two lines, that occurrs directly after the above dialogue
Lich Version
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Mortal Version
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its sweet, its sensual, its loving. but there no oomf. theres no, fear. the mortal version is my preference here as I like the slight reminder of emmrich being alive. in saying that, considering what we have been enamored with and reminded of at every single quest of his. but in the last romance dialogue its, gone? the fear overcome? one line, one word makes a difference. idk man. like I have my full speculation that there is a sequel with rook and companins again, and if there is ill let this go. but if this is it, WITH no epilogue screen? please, as much as i like fanfiction and headcanons and art. id like it IN the game.
a fantastic romance, but a stale last conversation. IN SAYING THAT. I choose to look past it as much as possible as it is sweet and I just love him.
ANYWAY, love you all, im pen for questions and the full emmrich dissection with all my very detailed explantions is coming in a few days
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kurishiri · 2 days ago
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Jude chapter 2 silly but kinda detailed summary
꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ any pretty translation you may see in here may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. this is a sort of summary as well. if you enjoy, though, please consider reblogging, but please don’t repost these or claim these as your own!
for some ungodly reason jude and ellis r in kates room the moment she woke up and judes not lookin very appy hes like how long r ya gon sleep for ya bloody pleb and ellis is like haaii gm kate 🌸✨✨ and then jude like “get ready in 3 seconds” while holdin her chin. again, for some reason lmao
ok turns out we goin to their other jobs at a company called raven co
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and ellis tells kate they got shops overseas too (wow jude got a boomin business) and they sell stuff in a lotta places and allat jazz. anw some dude greets kate and the others and thinks that kate is ellis gf. kates like umm no and hes like so ur the boss’ gf?
then he gets judes boot before kate can reply and judes like
Jude: It’s all yappin’ with ya so early in the mornin’, I see.
J: If ya gonna yap useless things, how ‘bout ya use that mouth o’ yours to do a bit more o’ your job?
J: If ya want a pay cut though, that’s a separate matter.
turns out the dudes name is theodore walker. 21 y/o. employee. first impression: bright dude
so kate asks ellis what his role is and hes like “hmm lets see, being a guard, preparing for guests, confirming clients, brewing up a storm…” and kate here thinkin wait a damn minute i have a feeling i heard smth real violent just now and then is like do you do anything else and well ellis responds with more violent words with a 😊 face. kate is like i thought i got myself into an evil org then jude comes in like
Jude: Well this evil company’s boss got some work cut out for ya.
she gotta sort out these letters (a loott of letters…) and judes like “if ya worked as a letter carrier ya mustve had to sort out letters before gettin breakfast”
ok so apparently judes kate just blurts out things w/o thinkin 💀 bc this time shes like well if hes gonna make fun of me (jude calls her princess but /neg) then challenge accepted! and then is like “ok bet i will get this done ez pz 🍋 squeezy” and judes got that shit eatin grin on his face like “that ya will do by the time i get back”
they r indeed still in their enemies era. her only saving grace now is ellis’ kind smile. ellis to the rescue! ⛓️🫶✨
omg ellis is actually an angel here he helps kate when he can sorting out letters and hes like gj today kate. you managed to do sm on ur own, u should be proud of urself and kate is like hes so kind… (yes he is!)
ah yes we cant escape the ellis is sweet as jam™️ allegations here
kate asks ellis why he joined crown and tldr its bc vic reached out to jude and jude said ok
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Kate: But did you have to get caught up in all this too…?
Ellis: But——he made a promise with me.
As he said this, Ellis’ eyes narrowed softly.
Kate: …A promise?
Ellis: I’m waiting for Jude to reach the happiest moment of his life.
E: And I need to be by his side to see that moment.
[ insert some lines im too lazy to tl here ]
Ellis: But, it seems that moment just doesn’t want to come. …It’s like Jude is always unhappy.
jude comes in the door like yall so damn annoyin and is like stop yappin bout she don’t need to know. but ellis is like but its her job as fairytale keeper. and kate is like “i have a question for u too jude! why do u have ellis by ur side?” jude responds like “none ya damn business” but one tinie push from ellis and jude lets out a resigned sigh and speaks on it and is like hes got physical strength and a good ability. cant let that sorta value slip by. that said his heads got some screws loose so
and kate is like omg! he answered me!!
(So Jude has Ellis by his side so he can use his abilities at his convenience,)
(and Ellis wants Jude to fulfill his wish, I guess?)
They kept one another by each other’s side to help realize what the other wants.
——If I were to put into words what their relationship would be, it would be ‘a contractual relationship.’
That was the day I had gotten my hands on valuable information on Jude for the first time.
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ko-fi☕️ ┊ comms🤍
NOTE: i forgot to mention that i can take comms to tl judes main story chapters, avatar mission stories, and his side stories in full, as ciele, the one whos gonna tl his story, said that i could tl chapters from his story too. the turnaround time per chapter is usually around 1–2 days from the time i start it. (for jude it might be closer to 2 days.)
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itsrlymine · 3 days ago
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Heyyy its 🥝 anon again!! Thought I'd give u a last of what I've manifested in the past few days.
-my skin has cleared up insanely. I used to have such visible blackheads and now they're so faint that I know they're already gone 💯
- I had fireworks going off while I was trying to sleep the other night. And normally they go off for aaaaages like 30 mins to an hour but as soon as they started going i was like 'nawr everyones gone back inside its so quiet, its too cold for fireworks theyve all gone to bed'. The noises faded and then popped back up for a couple more blasts but i persisted that it was quiet and they stopped after 4 minutes. Guess it was too cold and everyone went to bed!!!
- I'd been craving ice cream for a few days. I wasnt sure how but i knew I was going to get ice cream. I even visualised an uber eats delivery on my kitchen counter with my dessert in it. That night my younger sister suggests to my mum that we get milkshakes/ice cream.
-saw a subliminal about DP texting you fast. I dont have a desired person but I kinda entertained the thought of someone texting me. No one in particular. I don't really have any active texts atm. But then a friend who I hadnt spoken to in a month sent me a text not even two minutes later.
- my dad had been chilling on the sofa for ages and I was getting huuungry. Literally thought about my dad getting up to go get food, like visualised him standing up. Then TWO SECONDS LATER HE DOES. He gets up off the sofa and asks what i want for lunch.
-my fave one so far. I've wanted it to snow for a while and I'm aiming for a white christmas. I saw the weather reports yesterday and it was gonna rain this whole week. No sign of snow. (I had also manifested it raining lolol). I saw those reports and went "bro they dont know what theyre talking about its literally gonna snow". Woke up this morning to snow out the window and my sister messaging the family chat in confusion.
Actual messages:
Mum: Anyone have snow? @ oldersister , am guessing you do.
Older Sister: What the fuck
OS: Yes I do
OS: [pic of fully snowy rooftops]
OS: That’s so odd
OS: It wasn’t meant to snow here
😌😌😌✍️✍️✍️✍️
U already knowwwwww im the creator
🥝 baby I've missed you!!!!!! Not you inspired the song Let It Snow cmon!! I love all these successes and they are proof of how easy this truly is when we just remember who we are - the center of everything!!!! You better work creator!!!! No matter what method you use, it's always gonna work bc at the end of the day it's you!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing my love.
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dirtandspitoftheworld · 3 days ago
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First Listen Thoughts
One Assassination Under God
Really interesting intro. My first thought when Manson came in was Sleep, by My Chemical Romance. Did Tim Skold have a hand in this one? It sounds a lot like his style. Love the heavy breakdown. YEEEAHHH THAT SCREAM!!!!!! THATS MY MAN!!!!! I LOVE HIMMMM
No Funeral Without Applause
I LOVE the distorted guitar in the background of the chorus, and the main riff that's reminiscent of "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana. There's also some notes of Sweet Dreams, in the bridge. Good to hear his characteristic raspy wail after the bridge, too!
Nod If You Understand
Feels classic, and that hook is CATCHY. Hard and heavy and im obsessed with the line "Pain is a language that was spoken to me, and now it's my time to answer". OOOHHH THAT SCREAMING BREAKDOWN AT THE END!!!!!!!!!
As Sick As The Secrets Within
Already heard it, still love it. It's a nice come-down after Nod If You Understand.
Sacrilegious
Kind of jarring after the quiet ending of As Sick As The Secrets Within, but it's a fun little bop. I like the discordant little tinkly notes in the bg of the verse. Also already heard this one, of course.
Death Is Not A Costume
God i was hoping this would be a slow song and I was so happy as soon as it started. It's a little lackluster though. Maybe I'll come to like it more as I listen to it more, but on first listen, I'm not super into it. The ending is nice, though.
Meet Me In Purgatory
Like many other songs, it sounds familiar. It sounds a lot like Kill4Me at times. It also reminds me of She Wants Revenge, which is a good thing, I love them. Dark and romantic, classic Manson.
Raise The Red Flag
Already heard it, of course. Still good though. But I think "it's time to beat up the bullies" is kind of a childish line lmao.
Sacrifice Of The Mass
Oh, this is a beaaaauuuuuutiful ending. Im in love. "Tell the abyss to stop looking at me" Is an interesting line, as is the full context of "blood is thicker than water".
I'm gonna be listening to this all over again on the bus tomorrow but OOUGH IM SO HAPPY IT'S SO GOOD
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salmonlyster · 4 months ago
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someone make up a good ship name for these two while i go crazy
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barb-l · 10 months ago
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As a desperate lesbian who has been wanting a sapphic Wednesday portrayed for AAAAGES now, I still can't believe these things that the show gave me:
THE Wednesday Addams being shown jealous of a character that barely has any lines MULTIPLE times just because Enid mayyybe wants to choose said minor character as a roomie/bestie over her
BFFs Thing and Enid ganging up on Wednesday over her fashion sense and her pouting about it
Wednesday, who takes pride in her independence and relishes in isolation, admitting to have missed anyone is unthinkable. But she did! In her own way. Even if she was roundabout with her admittance, the fact that she got called out by both Thing and the goddamn villain shows how down bad she was during that fallout with Enid
"Thing said he missed you" and the way she visibly struggles against her nature to say "Skip the tape" with the tape symbolizing her breaking down her walls for Enid
something about Thornhill, who is played by an actress who also used to play Wednesday, telling this new Wednesday that she has to admit someday how much Enid has come to mean to her is just... ugh. Will never get over how much it adds so many layers to Wednesday's self-denial.
she held off all the insults in her bottomless vocabulary so she wouldn't completely offend Enid over the snood she made for her. She sugarcoated her words for Enid, which Wednesday NEVER does. In fact, it's the opposite of what she always does!
Enid VS Tyler bearing so much resemblance to that classic trope where the Love Interest saves the girl from the other Love Interest, even being a parallel to the fight between Gomez and Garret over Morticia
Enid lamented how she would never find a mate because she's not a real werewolf and would hence die alone, to which Wednesday remarks that it's a good thing in episode one. To emphasize Wednesday's apparent indifference to isolation, she is told that her nature as a raven means that she is fated to be alone like Enid feared for herself. In the finale, after Wednesday accepts that she doesn't want to be alone in the wake of her fallout with Enid, Enid finally wolfs out to save Wednesday. Enid made Wednesday realize that she doesn't actually like being alone, at least not when it meant she wouldn't have Enid by her side. In turn, Wednesday's life being threatened gave Enid the push to finally wolf out and, supposedly, now be given an opportunity to be eligible for a mate. I mean... I don't have high hopes, but the narrative is making it too easy to make it look like they were meant for each other
The heavy implication that Wednesday joined the Poe Cup because Bianca specifically said she wanted to make Enid cry over losing. The fact that she always deflected whenever Enid tried to confirm that Wednesday is doing it for her, but she never outright denied it!
"The mark you have left on me is indelible" and "I'll think of you" about Enid aksnnzzinsosnsj she gets sooooo sappy for herrrr
THE HUG. For people she's very very soft for, like her family, she only ever let THEM touch her. She's never show to start or reciprocate. SHE pulls Enid back into her. She holds Enid just as tightly, despite the injuries and despite Enid's pink coat. Enid toughens up for her but Wednesday is so vulnerable for her my god im so ill for them 💀
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xxplastic-cubexx · 19 days ago
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May I offer you a hastily drawn picture to wish you a good get-through-the-week? :3
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HELLO ??????? HELLO hot gluing this to my eyes IMMEDIATELY thank you so much i feel myself becoming stronger already
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vaggieslefteye · 3 months ago
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CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel edit#hazbin charlie#charlie magne#hazbin edit#requested#hazbin hotel pilot#that's entertainment#charlie#my gifs#god ain't she the cutest little thing!#not gonna lie i get a bit emotional seeing her do The Pose during ''wonderful fantastic new hotel''#it's the same pose she does in the S1 poster :')#okay actually im back here to say some things in the tags:#holy almighty LORD these gave me so much grief to color in a way i thought looked nice#specifically the one of her in the news chair. sorry i was NOT gonna let that hideous highlighter green color assault all your eyeballs.#did i lose nearly two hours of sleep getting it right because i still have no idea what i'm doing? yes. worth it? YES. ohh yes.#i liked the seafoam look so i made the cloud sequence match :] or at least tried to#there WAS supposed to be another one of her in the news room but i just hated how it kept turning out so i scrapped it.#coloring the main series was one thing to learn but the PILOT? never has it been so obvious to me just how much more bright and vibrant#the colors got during the progression of the world design. also. if by any chance one of those cool and experienced#gif makers happens to see these tags and wants a good laugh: i've been doing this for how many months now? and just last NIGHT figured out#how to use the fucking eraser in photoshop....... thing is... i also draw. i KNOW what program tools look like. i KNOW ppl draw in PS.#i'm just a really silly fuckin goose!! TEEHEE FUCKING HEE I GUESS!#so for months i've been like ''god i wish i could just erase this part from the layer'' and looking at the eraser tool and just being like#''nah it's probably different and weird i'll just stick to what i know'' -> said boo boo the FOOL#see i could be in the club but i'd rather be aggressively neurodivergent about the silly queer demon cartoon that altered my brain chemical
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luck-of-the-drawings · 8 months ago
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"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#cw blood#something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones#IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE#ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE....#THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU#do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule.#LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE#DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared#i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail#but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!!#i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time#i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS#soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz#i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss#have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES#I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn#annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE.#hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.
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sea-buns · 1 year ago
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Holy fuck, man. What a trip Fearne has been on, huh?
You tell her how grateful you are to have her in your life, you flatter her, you tell her you need her, that you have to do this together. You have her make a promise that has this woman, born of chaos and fey, agreeing through shaking hands and a trembling voice.
You make her deceive your friends; you make her follow where they cannot know; you make her help you into this contraption; you make her feed this thing into you despite the fact that you both have been warned extensively of the risks. You make her watch you crumble and splinter and shatter and fracture and burst and implode. You make her watch you die, over and over and over and over, for a minute in agonizing bullet time.
You make her do all these things, because when she tries to back out, when she tries to not be the one who let you do this—how could you do this—
you tell her, "YOU PROMISED."
Because if there's one thing you know, it's that the fey do not break a promise.
#cant wait for her to fucking pissed for a very long time. shes really packing the entire human experience in a very short period of time.#critical role#cr spoilers#c3e77#fearne calloway#ashton greymoore#bells hells#just gonna get ahead of the um actually mfs and state that i am aware that its not confirmed that thats why ash brought up the promise#but boy howdy would it make for some great drama down the line huh?#edit: apparently i did not get ahead enough cuz ive had to turn off replies#since ppl were somehow interpreting this mini introspection piece as me infantilizing fearne??#anyway the first line is now changed to something a bit more neutral. after sleeping on it i do see how it was a bit aggressive at the top#other than that im not sure how else to reword without completely disregarding the core of the post#i might make more posts addressing this but im not sure yet. i wanna try to approach it in the best way possible.#but if it helps any the point of the post was not to say fearne had no agency. she had plenty of moments where she tilted one way or the#other. the POINT was to just shine some light on the emotional pressure she had been put under.#hasnt your friend ever asked you to keep a secret or promise that felt wrong or unsafe or made you anxious?#it has nothing to do with the amount of agency she had. ash wasnt holding a knife to her throat and forcing her to follow against her will#all i was trying to do was take this detail about his reminder of the promise that i thought was interesting and have some fun writing an#overview of the kinda stress she was under BEFORE theyd reached that scene. this entire ep was everyone discussing how grateful they were#for this family theyd made. and while im not saying ash was PURPOSELY emotionally manipulating fearne..#there is a level of unintentional manipulation when you pair the severity of his request with the convo theyd had 2 seconds prior#as well as the desperate need they all have to save each other NO MATTER WHAT.#ash was giving incredibly strong energy of a friend who peer pressures you into helping them do something that you know in your gut WILL#cause problems. hes a fucked up guy. theyre all fucked up guys. even if he didnt mean to “force” her into anything the pressure was THERE.#<- i feel like all of this overall gets my message across. i think maybe ill clean it up later into its own post.#im gonna try not to rush myself to get it done tho.#im under no obligation to explain myself. especially when ppl approach the misunderstanding by being rude af. but i do think it CAN#be clarified so id at least like to try to some degree
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crybaby-bkg · 2 years ago
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cw: mention of previous abuse, dad Dabi, mom reader, mention of childbirth, angst
new dad touya that doesn’t know how to deal with his son. he’s growing too fast and his smiles are so big, but he’s still not sure how to just be with him.
touya isn’t abusive in the slightest, not like his shit for brains dad. he can acknowledge, after you’ve drilled it into his head on cold nights where you had to hold his quivering cheeks in your hand, that he’s better. that he’s trying. that he’s a great dad.
he doesn’t really believe it. it’s hard to believe that he’s a great dad when his son, still covered in that fresh newborn smell, stares up at him with matching azure blue eyes, the little shit, and he finds it hard to smile back. it’d be easier to smile back if he could guarantee a life with no trauma, with the perfect pair of parents, that he’d love him as much as his tiny little face deserved.
touya can still hear the labor and delivery nurse tell him that he must’ve gotten on your nerves for the baby to look so much like him, and that they’ve never seen a baby that fresh out the womb smile so big at their dad. he hands the little bundle back to you, and glares at the nurse who hands him a tissue. he takes it anyway.
touya loves his son. so goddamn much that it hurts, but, he doesn’t know how to be a dad. and he knows that you don’t know how to be a mom either, that it’s a learning process for the both of you. but he’s so scared—he’s terrified that he’ll fuck up this innocent brat with his ruin. with his scars and history and the want to better but never knowing how to just be.
so he leaves. it’s the day after your sons first birthday that you celebrated together in your home.
you thought everything was okay, that he was starting to get the hang of being a dad. he did everything right, why couldn’t he stay? he sat on the floor with your son and changed his diaper and made him giggle those addicting baby giggles? he carried your son everywhere whenever he cried after being sat down without a single complaint? he helped him open his birthday presents? he didn’t smash the cake in his face, only swiped a little icing on his sons nose to hear that addicting baby giggle? he held your son like he could never let him go?
how could he just go like this? you thought he was finally learning and accepting how to be a dad? what happened?
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braemjeorn · 2 years ago
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sometimes a family is just two estranged parents: the independent, cool mom and the cold, stern dad and their two adopted kids aka the tsundere, devoted, filial first child and the overexcited—oversized at that—pure-hearted maknae huh...?
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broke-on-books · 1 month ago
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Need to watch my favorite movie again sometime soon
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shutup-andletme-go · 5 months ago
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I cannot rely on one person for me to be happy my happiness isn't allowed to be only triggered by one person I can be happy at every little thing it doesn't matter about this one person
#im in too far fucking deep again#and when he leaves again its gonna hurt just as much. but more.#finch posts#he makes me happy beyond belief and i goddamn love having a friend who knows me inside out and has done for so long#but. your love is my drug by kesha comes to mind. its fucking intoxicating talking to him#and last time he left (we were 12 and his parents moved their family) it made me kinda depressed and i was so fucking needy to talk to him#and now we're three and a half months into rekindling the friendship and i feel the same like i get really sad already >#>if i just dont talk to him for a couple of days without like a trip or friends or smthn else to entertain me#songs are starting to remind me of him#fuck fuck fuck#1am in the morning makes me too honrst#i think im still a bit (a lot) in love with them#ohmygod i dont even think it i know it#i should go to sleep earlier#it would stop me having so many thoughts#i havent seen him in multiple years but i can still imagine kissing him#oh fucking hell fuck my actual whole fucking life#and his closest friend where he lives now well they were starting to be a bit of a thing and surely its not fucking normal>#>to daydream about kissing a girl who ive literally never seen a photo of#holy fucking hell i am such a hopeless poly bisexual#WHY DONT WE REWRITE THE STARSSSS#oh this is circling round to my suspicions i might be kinda like demi romantic??#i should buy myself flowers . wait. no. i grow flowers 🫠#well i could still buy myself flowers . and i should#i need to go to the beach#cant wait to get a proper drivers license#if youve made it this far down my crisis hi youve gotten to the stage where u can tell what songs im listening to!
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collgeruledzebra · 4 months ago
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could-be-nothing realization of the day that i came to while listening to 99% Invisible: kane and feels is sound designed like a documentary
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