#and i have also not had this much difficulty with other exes

[cornsobsessions]

really one step forwards two steps back-ing the whole getting over and rebefriending my ex thing :/ we hung out for several hours today and i didn’t feel like i was Being Normal about it, it just like was two friends hanging out but also i overthought so many things about it at work today and then i got home and scrolled through too much of our text conversations looking for something specific related to something we were talking about

[ante--meridiem]

Well. Potentially inadvisable message I sent a few days ago not really expecting a reply to did, in fact, get a reply.

[moonchild033]

Moon in the Houses (Part 1)💃💝

This is primarily based on how Moon is related to CHANGES and what possible changes moon placements can bring over time. I've included some other random points too.💛

(These observations are based on the whole sign system, sidereal charts and all obs are subject to change with other aspects in the chart, so don't conclude anything with a single placement, take whatever that resonates and leave the rest,hope you enjoy giving it a read, take it lightly!) ❤

Moon in 1st house- Your overall personality might easily change from time to time. You could also make frequent changes in your appearance. The way you express yourself, whether you are in your confident era or low self esteem era can be easily noticed. You could've been someone who cared a lot for others and emotionally highly expressive but suddenly don't give a fu*k anymore and more closed off. In younger years you could've been more short tempered and take everything personal or straight to the heart, after sometime you find yourself easily moving on and not bothering too much. You are that person whose fashion sense improved a lot and had a mad glow up, people from your school could be amazed by seeing your recent Instagram photos lol. People could say, Oh i almost couldnt recognize you, especially around and after the age of 22. No matter the ascendant, your eyes could be very expressive and frequently blinking or distracted. You can experience significant weight gain or loss, sometimes you feel fat and sometimes lean, your weight could also fluctuate a lot but anyways pretty AF.💅🤩

Moon in 2nd house- You could be an extreme saver, then could think life is to live why am I saving all this if I can't be happy NOW?! So u start to spend, then regret ur decision and go back to saving. You can face difficulty in differentiating between a hobby skill and technical skill you want to improve and pursue, especially can think about making your extracurricular skills as a main source of income. Ex.:You could be doing nail art for fun, then suddenly decides to make it a main career, not satisfied with the outcome and back to keeping it as hobby, this cycle can be noticed. You like to learn many languages or can easily adopt to different accents/slangs in speaking same language. Your stamina could've evolved from being great to lowest or vice versa. Your voice and tone might change, you can experience dry throat or have a husky voice. Food can be your comfort zone, eating good food can easily lighten up your mood instantaneously. You can be emotionally attached to your things, during childhood you could be that kid who had a fancy pencil that you don't give to anyone because you love and value it too much.💸⚡

Moon in 3rd house- You could love your younger siblings or sometimes can't stand their presence, there is no inbetween. Your hearing capacity can reduce due to over usage of earphones, you could be someone who calms down by hearing music continuously. You could've been timid or scared to voice out your feelings or thoughts during young age but turn out to be more vocal about things you care about, striking them hard with your words boldly over time. You can just play music and go on a short trip or at least to the market or neighborhood places often to lighten up your mood quickly. You can find it hard to stay determined for a long time, the cycle of starting something enthusiastically, then feel bored, then rethinking whether it's right, then again feeling dedicated to start again can be seen. When compared with 2H in the same sense, 2H is more about feeling confused and 3H is more about feeling bored or distracted easily. You could write a daily life diary or a secret diary from childhood and maintain it. You just write out your emotions, whether it be just writing your life incidents in a diary or turning it into a poetry.🤠☺

Moon in 4th house- The main theme here is how much of a homebody you are, then suddenly wanting to run away from home, then missing home so much, wanting to come back, again pissed off about staying in home for longer periods, then wanting to leave can be observed. Also the number of times you could've changed your house can be more than other placements, it doesn't have to be residing in different cities everytime, it could be just going to different neighborhood but the changing of houses can be there. Either you love your mother so much or have emotional scars from her, no inbetween but in both cases, the person can have a lot of sympathy and protective of mom. Incase of good placement, you can inherit maternal property easily, incase of neutral or bad placement, maternal properties could be in dispute. These people yearn a lot for comfort zone, they secretly want people around them to pamper and help them be comfortable. Afflicted moon can cause breaks in primary education, strong moon placement can give change of schools.💞💫

Moon in 5th house- For some people, this can give major fluctuations in their mood, like they can go from being extremely bubbly to cussing at somebody in a microseconds. Can give interest in astrology. They could be curious to know what others will think about them and pay attention to it a lot. Incase of strong placement, you could've been the role model kid in your family, a star in whatever you did whether it be studies or extracurricular, this is that cousin we don't want to have lol. You can express your thoughts very clear and loud, you can be opinionated in various topics and tend to stick to it. Your intelligence is not limited to only the course you study, you expand your knowledge to different topics, especially can like politics or just a person who likes to stay up to date with everyday news and happenings. For some people, this can give a major love relationship earlier in life, if other placements support too then this is a potential placement that can attract a young, beautiful spouse and end up marrying the same person.😍🌟

Moon in 6th house- You could feel choked with 9-5 jobs, can feel like it sucks out your joy and damages your mental health. You could've been someone who lived a structured life and entered a fine corporate job but it makes you rethink whether you have to continue doing this, you could've resigned from a hectic routine job atleast once or desperately wanting to do so. Your mental state can directly affect your health (happens for everyone but more easily for this placement). You could overthink a lot about something someone said eons ago. You are a conflict avoider, you don't get into anyone's issues or like to be a mediator, you yourself tend to gravitate away from conflicts even if it's directed towards you. Your friends can complain about this how you are not standing up for them but the issue is you can find it hard to stand up for yourself. Overtime this could flip off and you can burst out with a co worker or someone who's been pissing you off, gaining a shocked reaction from everyone. You can change from avoiding conflicts to slamming into the center of it by mentality fluctuations you could gain over time.😌💣

Let's Learn and Grow Together!💋💅

With Love-Yashi ❤⚡

(Here's a GIF I liked sm lol 😭😂)

Moon in houses part 2 here! ✨

MASTERLIST💖

[xueyuverse]

It's ironic to me that part of the fandom insists so much that Hua Cheng's personality revolves around Xie Lian when in fact MXTX created Hua Cheng first and then had to make Xie Lian his ideal type. Like, the truth is that Xie Lian was molded for Hua Cheng. I find this contradiction very funny, I'm sorry.

But they were indeed created for each other.

Hua Cheng has a strong personality, he is firm in his ideals and beliefs, assertive in his opinions, cold in his justice and someone who does not bend the rules just to fit in, he creates a third way instead of adapting to a world that hates him and was cruel to him.

His ideal type would have to be someone as confident as him, who not only does not bend the rules, but also does not get corrupted by difficulties, someone benevolent enough to see people like him with kindness, because only someone faithful in his beliefs would be able to be so different from everything that the world says is right — because the right thing is for you to annihilate people like Hua Cheng, whether they are innocent or not, just because of a supposed curse that they did not ask for.

This meta is based on this excerpt from the afterword that MXTX put in TGCF ↓

When it comes to character designs, the Shou’s were decided on first for the first two novels, but I was torn over the Gong’s for a long time, and needed a run-in period. Hua Cheng, however, was an exception. Inspiration struck and there he was; inspiration struck again, and I blinded one of his eyes.

[...]

It was actually the Shou, Xie Lian, who tortured me for up to half a year’s time. When the novel started serializing, I was still torn over him for a long time.

[...]

But the most important thing is, by my instincts, someone like Hua Cheng will most definitely love someone like this. So, after a good half a year’s worth of qualms, in the end I still typesetted him: It’s you!

Speaking more about this postscript, I found it interesting how for MXTX, Xie Lian was the most difficult character she has ever played. People tend to think that Xie Lian only has two personality traits: (false, for many) kindness and idiocy. The idiocy may even be right lol, but when you stop to think about it, Xie Lian is a really difficult character to create and, mainly, to develop.

For all the layers he has, he could easily be a snobbish prince, a vengeful and bitter ex-prince, a fallen prince who rises again to reconquer his kingdom and reclaim his throne or a spotless saint who is always intelligent and wise and is above things like sadness, anger, lust, etc.

We know that Xie Lian is none of these things, he was not made for these plots. But if he is none of these things, then what could he be? Honestly, I find it very difficult for anyone to come to the conclusion that your protagonist is a "loser" who failed and has no ambition to rebuild his kingdom and become the new king. It's bold to make your protagonist a poor and extremely unlucky nomad, especially with the princely background that you gave him, we can see from the amount of stories out there about protagonists who lost their kingdoms and then have a path of reconquest that it's difficult not to be tempted to follow that path.

Of course, Xie Lian is a god, something greater than a prince or king, but he is a poor god, known as "the joke of the three kingdoms", he has no wealth and for 800 years he only had 1 believer that he didn't even know existed and he is also known as the "god of plague" and "immortal scrap collector", unconventional titles in the literary world lol

He must experience youthful ignorance, overestimation of his own abilities, have been laughable, been foolish, made mistakes, despaired, felt hatred, gone crazy. But he can’t run, and he can’t hide; everything is what it is. All this was killing me. Not just within the text, but outside the text too. My mediation was useless, and I’ve no energy anymore either, so in order not to be affected, I stopped looking at comments altogether. Since I always habitually vaccinate myself before a serialization begins, speculating on all the worst possible scenarios and preparing myself mentally, by the time serialization started I had already expected how all the negative comments would go down. But after much hesitation, I still thought, why not try all different kinds of characters? I haven’t tried writing a main character like this before.

— MXTX

[easy-there-leftovers]

I See You, Darling

[Astarion x reader] The idea never left my mind, and I so very badly need this right now. Heavily inspired by this cutscene where Tav chooses a dialogue option and Astarion's eyes just deviate-- (gif above, just wait for his eyes to look at you WKDKWKDK) |Word count: 2k.| Based off of this post I made.

Part 2 here!!

Also, this is more heavy on the world building rather than dialogue. If I end up making this a series, I might write with more dialogue in mind but it was just necessary to do this first afhjaqfbnjkafbnebn--

A story in which an overworked art student longs for a fictional character that they've devoted so much of their time to.

Alternatively; Astarion realizes there's someone else watching him. And he can't wait to get acquainted with them.

————━─━────༺༻────━─━————

One.

Two.

Three.

It takes you three seconds to comprehend what just happened. Three seconds for you to try and save the progress you’ve already made so far. Three seconds for you to feel the chill of dread run up your spine. 

You’ll admit, perhaps you were simply tired. Attending a prestigious school for the arts doesn’t exactly leave you with much free time to indulge in more calming forms of recreation. Your course requires you to consume a wide array of media to expand your library of creativity, after all. All in the name of generating more interesting media to entrance and enthrall your audience with your original work. 

Maybe all the moving pictures and swimming texts have caused you to greatly misunderstand what you are seeing. Surely, your favorite character isn’t looking directly at you, right?

Right?

But before that, let’s review what might have happened earlier to explain just what exactly in gods name is happening.

Shall we?

——

You purchased the game a few months back. “Baldur’s Gate 3.” A game that took the players and immersed them in the world of Dungeons & Dragons, introducing them to the mechanics of tabletop RPG as they did. It seemed interesting enough. And if the concept of character creation and storytelling didn’t sell you on the idea of it, the pretty faces on the cover certainly did.

So, with the little money you could spare from your part time job at your own institution’s library, and with what little sanity you had left to argue with, you impulsively bought said game. And it was fun. Exhilarating. Electrifying. 

Until you ran into a problem.

Astarion. The rogue, elven vampire that you have chosen to romance after careful deliberation. You scoffed to yourself. He was one of the biggest reasons why you purchased the blasted game at all. You’ve carefully studied the character in all his glory, from his striking carmine eyes and delicate unstained curls, to his aptitude for bloodshed and all manners of gore. He was such an interesting character, giving you more and more reason to pursue him as the story progressed. Yet the same can’t be said about your relationship with him. Or at least your “Tav’s” relationship with him. 

You’ve had some difficulty in deepening your relationship with the ex-magistrate. It seemed as if no matter what options you chose, no matter what manner of advances you made, he’d be quick to dismiss you. Painting you as a desperate little pup as he did. Denying you the opportunity of further knowing him. You’ve created and overwritten more save slots than you'd like to admit, perusing each one to select different lines of dialogue only to be rejected time and time again.

You thought it strange. But perhaps this was simply the way his route was meant to unfold. He was such an incredibly complex character after all. Perhaps this was meant to prove the party’s loyalty. 

But that didn’t stop you from being frustrated with other aspects of the gameplay. You've spent countless nights hunched on your work chair, back curving like a dead bug as you analyzed each and every possible outcome in combat. Eyes, bloodshot from cutting your sleeping hours short, just to endure the story until you were at an appropriate place to log out. And hair, flicking and curling out in different directions due to you weaving your hands through them in exasperation. 

You saw your reflection on your screen as it darkened to load the next scene and you couldn't help but stare at your character in slight envy. You know full well that however you designed them, it wouldn’t affect how the others perceived you, and yet you couldn’t help but pretty them up for your own interest. You designed it with yourself in mind, but making them far more attractive than you would ever be. Effortlessly beautiful as they stirred to wake up in the forest you settled in for camp.

How could Astarion ever turn this beautiful being away? If not for their heroism, then surely their looks would be enough to draw him in, no?

And speak of the devil. Once you could control your character again, you readied them to interact with your sharply dressed companion. Wanting to try your luck once more as the bright sun shone upon your character like a promise of a new day. Unfortunately, you’re greeted with a look of boredom, oh so familiar, that you sigh. “I hope you’re not here to beg—” Mocking him, echoing the words you’ve come to expect with faux mirth in your voice. But you cut yourself short when you realize he has yet to say anything. 

Strange.

 What’s even stranger is that he's just staring at you. Well,--- he’s staring at Tav. Your character.

“What the fuck…?” You move your mouse around, clicking to try and toggle the dialogue options to no avail, screen stuck in a cinematic close up of his face. Much like how the camera always pans when awaiting your response. 

However, unlike the common script of his actions that you’re used to, the one that you’ve memorized like a well practiced dance, his eyes smoothly glide off of your character and onto you. 

You freeze, but your heart doesn’t. The beating of your chest growing stronger the longer he looks at you. Eyes, blood red like rubies, boring into your own. He regards you, blinks, and then smiles that deviously charming smile of his before your screen turns dark. Your computer turns off, and you stare in shock of what just happened.

‘No fucking way, no fucking way, no fucking way—‘ You’re not delusional, right? Sure, you’re tired, but no fucking way did you just imagine one of the hottest characters you’ve seen in a while break the fourth wall just to fuck with you.

You laugh to yourself.

Yes, you’re just tired. Nothing like a good four hours of sleep can’t remedy. Although, as you get up from your chair, foolish as it may seem, you grab a used shirt from your floor, and hang it on your computer in the case that those piercing eyes come to life once again while you sleep.

——

You stir awake after your short slumber. Your body, heavy like lead, though not at all a feeling foreign to you. You think about what happened last night, wondering if it was all a dream. Yet as you get ready for the day, you notice your dirtied clothing still on your computer. Covering it as if it were a petrifying doll from a horror movie. You feel childish for doing so, reasoning that you were simply stressed from the events that taken place prior and removed the cloth.

As you did, your screen was brought back to life. Showing you the next night as if your little "tryst" with Astarion never happened. An entire thirty minutes or so of progress seemingly gone. Thankfully, you saved just before your game went haywire and you attempted to load up your last slot. 

Zzzt Zzzzt!

Alas, your game was not cooperating once again. You tried the save just before that and the same error screen presented itself to you. ‘Maybe this is a sign that I should just fucking work instead.’ Irritated at the thought, you moved to log out of the game but a familiar voice convinces you otherwise as the screen returns to normal. 

“Why, hello pup. How was your awfully short slumber?” 

‘Is this— a romance scene?!’ Astarion had never initiated an interaction before! Perhaps the game gods were granting you mercy. Or maybe, something you did last night might have given way for this line of dialogue to open up. Regardless, you happily took the opportunity and began reading your choices.

“Why, hello pup. How was your awfully short slumber?” ━─━────༺༻────━─━

Well. Thank you.

It’s none of your concern, fangs.

Better now that you’re here.

What happened last night?

━─━────༺༻────━─━

What…did happen last night? You don’t recall anything past the blackening of your screen, but it looks like you did something after that which caused this dialogue.

You don’t want to squander this opportunity, who knows when this will happen again, but your curiosity gets the best of you. So you save, and choose option 4. 

“Oh, you poor thing. Spooked you, did I?” He laughs, seemingly taking in the look of confusion that graces both yours and Tav’s face.

“What do you think happened last night?”

“My fucking game crashed.” You answer automatically.

Tav moves to open their mouth but is silenced with a tut. “Not you, spawn.” His eyes crinkle at the corners in amusement, but the way his mouth is pulled in a tightly-lipped smile offers you further insight otherwise. 

“I need your answer.” His eyes are on you yet again, and you feel the world begin to spin.

——

You stir awake after your short slumber. Your body, heavy like lead, though not at all a feeling foreign to you. You think about what happened last night, wondering if it was all a dream. Yet as you plan to get ready for the day, you notice you’re not exactly in a state to do so. You expected to wake at dawn, the dark and cool air to greet you as it fills your room and envelops your walls. Instead, you wake to see an endless amount of evergreen and the smell of the dark and damp grass beneath you filling your senses.

And if spending hours, weeks, months, of playing this damned game has taught you anything, you know that you now reside in the heart of the forest that you usually set up camp in. But this time, you're far from your bedroll and the fire that your party created.

One.

Two.

Three.

It takes you three seconds to comprehend what just happened. Three seconds for you to try and save the progress you’ve already made so far to no avail. Three seconds for you to feel the chill of dread run up your spine. 

And this chill so does love playing games.

You clamber away on your knees when you hear that deep chuckle of his emanate from right beside your ear. Creating as much distance to inspect this figure you’ve yet to face.

You see Astarion in all his vampiric glory. ‘Well, for a vampire spawn, I guess.’ You comment to yourself. Crimson eyes, darker than you imagined, with full, dark lashes contrasting his pallid skin and pure hair that glow under the moonlight. An unsettling, and cursedly attractive, smirk curls onto his lips. His ivory fangs on full display as he does.

“It seems as if those useless artifacts were worth something.” He marvels at his handiwork, his prize, and approaches it with confidence. 

“Well, your character certainly is more ‘prettied up.’” He circles you, carefully appraising his newest asset, and grins. “But you are far more intriguing.”

A simple, “What the fuck?” is all you can muster.

“Although, you are very cute. Cheeky little pup, aren’t you?” He jests.

A simple, “What the fuck?” is all you can muster which earns you a click of his tongue in response.

“You’re not broken, are you? Or am I to anticipate your little ‘what the fuck?’s as your only contribution?” Long, and incredibly masculine, fingers crawl and curl to grasp your chin like a spider. 

“I’ve waited months to have you. And now here you are, finally within my grasp.” The statement causes something to stir within you.

“What do you mean, ‘months?” 

He narrows his eyes, possibly trying to comprehend your stupidity.

“I’ve been watching you. Waiting, for the right moment. Interacting with this– caricature of yourself until you could deny yourself of me no more.” Blood rushes to your head. Your cheeks burning in embarrassment for seeming overly eager. And in panic as his intentions have yet to be cleared.

“And now that I’m here? Do you want to kill me?” You feel your heartbeat in your ears, awaiting his response. Your eyes wide in fear, yet trying to fake heroic bravado in the attempts to gain the upperhand.

And in this moment, he thinks you absolutely invigorating.

“Oh no, sweet pet. I’ve waited far too long for that. I’m going to make you mine.”

————━─━────༺༻────━─━————

Should I make this into a series? "The adventures of a misplaced artist in Baldur's Gate!!" Or something like that. Let me know, lol

[visionofhope04]

Here for the angst of neglected batsis, imagine or hc them of moving out if the house when they are 18 and let's say they meet some spirit and they have their memory wiped and transfer to the marvel universe to restart their life and more happy, then the dc/marvel merge together because of a big threat and batfam sees batsis is heavily pregnant and married to our favorite deadpool charater Colossus?

How would they reached if batsis just can't remember them and keeps on telling them they have the wrong person?

I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK. Guess who's back!! Sorry it took me so long to get this out, I haven't had the motivation to write until recently. Also OOC warning bc I don't really know him well besides the Deadpool movies. I almost freaked out bc I haven't used the tumblr website in so long and it got updated so I thought I lost all my drafts. So glad they're still here, whew. Not beta read so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes!

---

It's been a year since moving into your apartment and you couldn't be happier. College was going well and you were taking classes you enjoyed. However, you haven't made any friends yet which led you to spend your free time reading or surfing the web. Jason didn't come by much due to having his own life and vigilante things, which you understood. It didn't mean you couldn't be a little bit sad about it though.

Even though you were enjoying your life, you still felt as if there was something missing. You'd been trying to figure out why you had felt this way but nothing came to mind. Any time you tried to brush off the feeling, it came back stronger. You did your best to ignore it and continue on with life, but it was always there, nagging you.

It had been a long day. College was so stressful. Your professors kept hurling projects at you that had deadlines that were practically impossible to meet. You just wanted it to end already and be on summer break. Then, you’d be able to sleep how long you wanted to without the fear of being late for class or forgetting to complete an assignment.

You sat down at your desk and pulled out your laptop, preparing to continue an essay that was due in three days. Suddenly, you began to feel nauseous. Confused, you attempted to ignore the feeling in favor of completing the essay. A few seconds after trying to focus on your laptop screen, you saw a bright light.

"My child, you will be saved from this life." A strangely comforting voice said.

Then everything faded to black.

---

"Hello?!"

A voice. A voice? But you live alone and no one has the spare key to your apartment. You slowly opened your eyes, groaning and quickly shutting them again once a bright light blinded you.

"Oh you're alive, thank God. Can you speak?" Whoever this was seemed to have been panicking before, slightly less though now that you had indicated you were alive. You groan as you push yourself up off of what seems to be concrete. Concrete? You're definitely not in your apartment. You crack your eyes open again, this time with less difficulty, and come face to face with white lenses of a mask. Blinking again, you register that the lenses are attached to a red material with black lines.

"Ah!"

"AH!" The figure yells and jumps back, startled by your sudden surprise.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" You asked, tilting your head slightly to the side.

"What do you mean? I'm Spiderman." His voice was a bit high pitched, he sounded like a teen at most.

"Spiderman? You've got to be joking. There is no Spiderman. Go home kid, crime fighting isn't a game." Sure, you may be a hypocrite, seeing as you are an ex-assassin who began learning how to kill at around 5, but at least you had training. What did this Spiderman have? From how startled he was, you assumed he had barely been trained, if at all.

“What? I'm literally Spiderman! I'm Queens' hero!"

"Queens, New York?" You thought you'd still be in New Jersey at least.

"Uh yeah. I don't think there are any other places called Queens that have a Spiderman."

"Again, Spiderman? Seriously? You couldn't think of a better name at least?"

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with Spiderman!"

"Sure kid, keep telling yourself that."

He was about to protest when suddenly, someone else dropped into the alley.

"Hey Spidey, who's this lovely lady?" A person in an all red with black suit with two swords on his back and guns strapped to his waist called out. The person seemed to be a male, around 30 years old.

"This 'lovely lady' is very confused. Who are you?" They keep multiplying, and you'd never seen this person either.

"Did you hit your head or something? You've never heard of or seen Deadpool? The most handsomest, most awesomest, funniest, killer crime fighter?"

"Uh nope. Also, I'm from Jersey, how did I end up here?"

"Good question. What's your name?"

"Oh, it's-" You stopped in confusion. "I actually don't remember. It was just at the tip of my tongue but I don't remember."

"Oh great! Amnesia! Just what we need. I'll let you handle her Spidey and I'll go stop some bad guys, 'kay?"

"What! No, don't leave me here!" Deadpool was already sprinting away.

"Let's get you to the base. Colossus and the others will know what to do."

---

They did not, in fact, know what to do. Colossus sent Negasonic and Yukio to contact Professor X, while Spiderman went to contact Tony Stark (I'm still emotionally scarred from Endgame so no, he won't be dead, this is my fanfic and I can keep him alive if I want to) and Deadpool went back out to patrol. You were left alone with Colossus.

Uncomfortable silence sat between you. Just as you were beginning to get antsy, Colossus broke it first.

"Do you remember anything at all?"

"I'm... a college student. I live alone in an apartment in New Jersey, I think. I used to fight crime until... I don't know, it's fuzzy. I'm an ex-assassin who has been training since I was 5. That's all I remember."

"You can remember that but not your name?"

"Look, I don't know okay? I don't know what's happening or why I can't remember anything else. I want to remember who I am, but I can't. And it's so... so frustrating! Your suspicion is understandable, but it is not helping."

"I apologize. This is a stressful situation for you. I will be more considerate."

"Thank you."

---

They could not figure out what happened to you or why you suddenly appeared in Queens one day. Your memory remained fuzzy, so you were stuck. As time passed, you and Colossus grew closer. You became so close that he told you his real name, you became a couple, and you got married. Seven years passed, you were 25 and you'd been trying for a baby. You both felt the time was right and that you'd be able to handle parenting.

Colossus came home from work one day, spent and tired. There you were, waiting for him at the door as usual.

"Hi my love, long day?" You fiddled with the positive pregnancy test behind your back.

"Yes darling, when is it not?"

"Well, we're going to have to figure something out, because there's no way I'll wake up every night to take care of our baby."

He looked confused, then realization hit. "You're..?" He looked so happy and hopeful, you couldn't contain your happiness. A huge smile lit up your face.

"Yes, we're finally going to be parents!" You pulled out the pregnancy test and held it up to him.

He laughed a joyful laugh, tears began to fall from the corners of his eyes as he embraced you. It must've been infectious because you began to tear up too. You remained in each other's embrace for a while, just existing in the moment. Time felt irrelevant as you basked in your shared delight.

---

8 months later, your belly had swollen and grown. Everyone was happy for the both of you. You and Colossus were both eager for your little one to arrive. You'd both decided to wait for birth to find out the gender. It didn't matter to you whether it was a boy or girl, just that they were healthy (gender's a construct anyway). The pregnancy had been going great so far, but this time of easy-going was about to get ruined by your husband's job.

---

Your world had merged with another because of some cosmic threat. Great! Your husband would be preoccupied trying to fix the situation, which meant that you'd be alone. Selfishly, you wished that they could let your husband stay with you so close to your due date, but you knew he had a role to play in saving two worlds.

Seeing your loneliness, Colossus decided to bring you with him to the Avengers' base. He hoped you'd be able to befriend some of the people there. You entered the compound and your eyes were drawn to some men standing beside a set of double doors. They all had suits on, black hair (one guy had two white streaks in his hair) and most had blue eyes, except for one man who had green eyes. He was also noticeably the darkest of the group. They felt familiar to you, especially the man with green eyes. Have you met them before? Who were they?

As your husband was discussing some details about the meeting, you couldn't help but watch the group of men. Not knowing why you thought you knew them annoyed you. As if they could feel your eyes on them (they could), they turned around in sync and locked eyes with you.

Their eyes widened and they all exclaimed your name in various degrees of disbelief. They rushed over to you and your husband protectively stepped in front of you

"How do you know my wife?"

"Wife?!" Some of them shouted. They were beginning to cause a scene.

"You're pregnant." The one with green eyes observed. He seemed to be having some sort of crisis.

All their eyes darted to your belly, making you uncomfortable. You placed your hand over your stomach and attempted to discretely hide behind your husband. This did not go unnoticed by them.

"You don't remember us?" The shortest of them questioned.

"No, I've never met you guys." You were very confused.

The man who appeared to be the oldest said your name. You stared at him as he studied your eyes, presumably to see if you were lying. It made you feel vulnerable and unsettled, couldn't they leave you alone?

"We're your family."

The guy with the white streaks in his hair scoffed. "You didn't treat her like she was family. I was the only one who cared for her when she was younger while you all ignored her and let her suffer. I'm glad she doesn't remember what you all did to her. She's clearly living a much better life without you lot in it."

This was getting more confusing by the second, although you felt there was truth to his words. Did you forget these people? They seemed very convincing if they were lying.

"I'm sorry but I really don't remember you guys. Maybe you have the wrong person?"

"No we don't! You disappeared one day and now that we've finally found you, you're saying you forgot everything!"

"That is enough. Please leave my wife alone, she does not know you, and she does not need the unnecessary stress of trying to remember people she's never met. Do not approach her anymore." Colossus guided you away from the men, who stared longingly at you. The heartbroken expressions they had after your husband's speech would follow you often. Were you sure you'd never met them before?

---

Words: 1,847

[astropookie]

Ascendants at different degrees🦚🦢 pt 2

Venus in retrograde started🎶if your ex comes back or there’s an end, you know what to blame 🤪 jk

Pinterest

Ascendant at Cancer degree (4°, 16° or 28°)

they’re sensitive in a way I think they can manipulate the atmosphere, at least they have this sensitive nature. They could have had a “rebel” era, putting it with “ bc in reality it wasn’t that kind of era, they were being themselves or they needed help and were misunderstood by people around them. that’s why when they grew up they seem more mature, like a mother figure, with their cheesy side, bc they don’t want people around them to be worried and also they have had matured? they constantly idealize the idea of being with someone that ‘ll take care of them, how they have been doing it with everyone. they love food and feeling at home, there’s one person that occupies that big heart. THE BABY FACE.

Ascendant at Leo degree (5°, 17° or 29°)

they don’t know they’re the center of attention until someone tells them. they attract people easily. the way they do things have something unique. childish or excited. when they say or do something impulsive, they think about it and then the worry doesn’t last longer (depends on the moon sign. Idk but the people Ik with ascendant at leo degree have had difficulties at choosing their career, they either are delusional and not have a concrete plan or they have two options. They lack of confidence when’s about their abilities, they’re pessimistic. They could have a hard time analyzing themselves. They need to do sports so they can have a healthy copy mechanism that actually helps them. They’re proud. They’re like little kids running but at the same time with a huge ego. They get bored EASILY and you’ll always find them with their hiperfixation, they can’t live without it, could be tennis, gardening, doesn’t matter. People like them, they do the bare minimum and people sympathize with them. Could be bc of their charisma. They care about what others think TOO MUCH, in a way they don’t care but they do.

Ascendant at Virgo degree (6° or 18°)

omg these people get manipulated easily, you don’t have idea 🙄. they’re not flexible, they try! And they have todo things in their way and they’re in this constant stress when people that’s around them don’t acr the same as them. since details like if you’re eating pizza without a plate and they get mad bc you have to do that and etc. or when they went out and -you can’t lie to me about it- and then criticize or point out things that disgusted them. I don’t want to justifícate them and I’m not going to but that’s how virgo loves? Or acts or how they live? They care and that’s how they show it -and also bc they have a god complex, but beside that..-. THEYRE MANIACS, they have to have their order. They have to heal darling, they have to😩 stop trying to fix others problems or taking too much time on them instead on focusing on your unresolved trauma, bc god you have. that’s why you’re so manipulated and manipulative. Manipulative bc you know exactly what’s the other Achilles’ heel and manipulated bc you haven’t find yet yours and if you had, you haven’t healed it.

Ascendant at Scorpio degree (8° or 20°)

they went though shit that haunts them till now, they’re healing but IS REALLY hard for them to not feel the memory. to not understand things as they come, that life can be unfair. and that not always the ones that made you suffer the most have to pay BY THEIR HANDS, karma exists babe. they’re kind souls that went though a lot and want to protect their loved ones no matter what. they can overthink too much to the point they thought you hated them bc their intuition was confused with paranoia. they’re always on vigilant mood -if they’re not, it’s with the ones they feel more comfortable- and ALWAYS analyze the person before taking the first step. sadly, one of their family could have been part of that insecurity/trauma that accompanies them in the present. bb pls stop blaming yourself for things you have no control and if you had, to learn you’re human ❤️

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer, I just love astrology and I’m willing to learn.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[phoenixyfriend]

Apologies if you’ve been asked this before, but do you have any thoughts on fanon!Obi-Wan vs. canon!Obi-Wan? And is there any part of his character that you wish fandom or fic would address more often?

I think that a lot of the fics I had a lot of frustration with aren't really in my search field anymore; I got really frustrated with Woobie-wan and some related themes, and those were really common in Cod*Wan... but since I don't really read that ship anymore, I come across that specific characterization a lot less. It still shows up (especially in fics that decide to have some fun with the Qui-Gon bashing), but less so.

I do think a lot of authors have difficulty balancing the Sass with the Competence etc. but ngl I think one of my biggest Wow That's Uncomfortable approaches is when people can't fathom the idea of Obi-Wan being happy as a monk; in those cases, he's either written as repressed and unable to fathom the idea of loving someone the way Anakin can, or he's written as Secretly Yearning To Break Free For The Ship. A lot of it also has some real shades of "ex-Christian Western Fans project their trauma onto a Space Buddhist who doesn't want to leave his religion/culture despite many opportunities to do so."

(Seriously, there is so much 'oh, you are definitely imagining the Jedi as a fundamentalist Christian sect with culty elements and can't fathom that they aren't evil' out there.)

And like. IDK. I hate that a lot. The man may not be celibate, but that doesn't mean he's unhappy with the life he's leading. He's a space buddhist and happy about it! He doesn't need to be fixed. There are other things he needs help with, other things where he could use therapy or family counseling or something, but his religion is never implied to be something that needs fixing.

IDK if that answers your question but it's definitely the two things I notice most often: Woobie-Wan and Jedi-As-Western-Cult stuff.

The stuff I wish I could see more of is unfortunately less easy to pin down because it's mostly about balancing character elements and that's a matter of skill, not choice.

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

hi! love love love all of your haikaveh analyses! they're so wonderfully done and itch my brain so right. i was wondering if you had any thoughts on the recent quest featuring them ('an odd textual mystery')? hope you have a wonderful day!

hiya! firstly, thank you so much for your ask! i'm so glad you enjoy my haikaveh analyses!?? they truly live in our heads <333 secondly i am so sorry this reply is coming late!! i wasn't able to play during the first half of the event, and then i've had technical difficulties, so i've only recently finished the quest! that being said, here is part one of two of my thoughts!

firstly, i love how this event feels like a reference to kaveh’s hangout, in which alhaitham says that kaveh’s annotations, according to the ex grand conservator, are too long and hard to read, and that as a student, kaveh had the habit of scribbling in all sorts of books, which won him the nickname “the urchin of Kshahrewar” ???

we're starting off strong with kaveh canonically hiding behind a ladder out of sheer embarrassment after trying to find the book on which he inadvertently founded a conspiracy. things will just never go his way huh :(

i thought it was interesting (and very deliberate) that when we go to where we would find kaveh, it's The House, and when the traveller and paimon believe they've heard kaveh-

it's this guy... homosexual jumpscare next time.... and then he says this phrase (before leaving in his typical manner, which parallels his 'see ya' in his character quest, plsss he's so !?!?!?)

after waiting again, the traveller and paimon believe theyve heard kaveh, and this time it IS kaveh... you mean they couldnt be told apart...?? really leaning into alhaitham and kaveh being innately bound by the mirror motif i think.!!

paimon then impersonates alhaitham, to which kaveh recognises, saying that paimon doesn't sound herself - which could parallel how the kaveh comments that the traveller sounds like alhaitham in one dialogue option within his hangout, a cute detail <3

also, kaveh clinging onto the narrative that no one knows he lives with alhaitham, and then listing a scroll of names, being all of his and alhaitham's close friends... ironically very intimate

also it being confirmed that kaveh has low stamina, i didn't know i needed this until i was given it

kaveh drunkenly circling a spelling error in permanent ink, thinking nothing about it but that the book is terrible, returning it, and then creating a city-wide mystery, believing it to have happened AFTER he returned the book, and frantically trying to piece together what happened is so kaveh coded, ofc it WOULD happen to him

tighnari checking the book out when kaveh complained about it him because he thought it sounded FUNNY!! i love hibm..,m,,,

also kaveh using red ink and alhaitham using green ink... oh so the contrasting outfits aren't enough, you're also canonically using complementary colours... oh so.. huh...

tighnari immediately clocking that alhaitham joined in by adding a circle, calling it a 'game', so he knows that alhaitham is having fun doing this...? dare i say... f-flirting,,,

tighnari saying flirting.!! HE DESERVEDLY CALLEDHAIKAVEH OUT!!! they are too much in their intricate (homoerotic) rituals.

tighnari using a leaf in the forest metaphor... very interesting

cutting to cyno and sethos, cyno being bitter that sethos makes excuses to not play TCG, referencing their voice lines about the other, this is such a nice detail

absolutely no thoughts here just pure homoerotic brainrot of knowing what style of ink and the penmanship of your life partner, along with an unnecessary specific memory of the two taking breaks from their schedules to spend time together in their secret spot in the tree in cyno's second story quest... ive not had one coherent thought since this, the writing for cynonari is so so great and lovely and everything, they deserve the best

"back to the book" BRO GOT DISTRACTED!!! FR THERE WAS NO NEED TO TELL THAT STORY ABOUT HIM WATCHING TIGHNARI DO HIS HOMEWORK IN THEIR SECRET PLACE HELPPPPPP

also, cyno wanting to solve the mystery of the book for tighnari's sake and protection. oh. (if this weren't haikaveh's fault/event then cynonari would own it... tighnari, i, too, am so tired of them.)

and cyno canonically calling sethos bro!! another reason as to why its a crime this mini quest wasn't VOICED????

this is part one! part two is here and focusses on the final scene with alhaitham and kaveh, my bane...

[perfectlyoongi]

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who rereads your conversations on the loneliest nights. every joke made, every plan desired, every love you promised, a whole conversation without beginning or end was read and reread by Namjoon when the longing for you tightened his heart. in a way, in the pain he caused himself he found a little comfort, knowing that for a moment what you had was true, it was felt by both of you. but then reality hit Namjoon like thunder, sending shocks of agony and sadness through his body that shook his entire soul. if that was true, why did you leave? were the Namjoon’s stories too detailed for you? were the photos shared by Namjoon too hopeful for you? speak! tell him! tell Namjoon why you stopped talking, why you decided to take with you all the conversations that could comfort him on the most turbulent nights. tell Namjoon why you stopped talking, why you decided that you no longer needed Namjoon to have jokes and plans and promises in your life. tell Namjoon why you left and he swears he’ll try to understand your side. “i’m trying to look in so many words exchanged where i went wrong to lose you. please, tell me that the reason for your departure is not forever on my phone.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who looks for you at the bottom of the alcohol bottles he drinks. Namjoon wondered why he wasn’t hearing you. you went with him everywhere, you always laughed when he said he could drink faster than you, you always gave him an alcohol-laced kiss when he almost spilled your drinks on you. but now you weren’t. now, in every bar, in the comfort of his house, you just weren’t there. it was as if you had disappeared, taking with you the joy of moments well spent, leaving behind a small haze of longing. now Namjoon drank alone. glass after glass, Namjoon drank alone, wanting to hear your laugh once again, wanting to feel your lips once again. just one more bottle and he was done. but what if it’s in the next bottle he finds you? you could be in the second bottle waiting for him to spill it all over him. yes, you were definitely in the third bottle. “alcohol has lost all its charm now that you’re not here to make me feel alive. the more i drink, the more i miss you. but there is something in me that pulls me to drink more in the hope of hearing you laughing at the end of each glass. i don't know what to do.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who can never finish a song because he's afraid of causing it the same pain he felt for you leaving. it all ended suddenly for Namjoon. your relationship simply came to an end one day and Namjoon never understood how or why. all Namjoon knew was that your words dug a huge hole inside his heart, and flooded him with an eternal hurt that only overflowed in a constant waterfall of pure pain. it was an end. a painful end. an end that Namjoon didn’t want to repeat. his art came from within him, in the small drops of pain that spilled from his heart; words written with the ink of melancholy that painted Namjoon’s soul had difficulty finding a home; the papers seemed too rough to use, the computer screen was too bright to contain so much darkness — where could Namjoon ease his pain? would Namjoon be able to ease his pain? finishing creating something… wasn’t that similar to the end of a relationship? all the love and effort that Namjoon felt was going to come to an end. abruptly. no explanation other than it had to end. how could Namjoon subject his entire art to such pain? it wasn’t enough for Namjoon’s heart to suffer, did he also have to make his art suffer? “the anguish that runs through me is something i wouldn’t wish on anyone. this eternal despair of not knowing when something will get better because you know it can’t get better. this anguish, this pain, i cannot give it to anyone. this pain should only be mine.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who saw you leaving with his heart in your hands. bring back his smile. bring back the sparkle in his eyes. bring back his will to exist, for you left and left behind a prison of pure agony and despair where you trapped Namjoon without giving him a chance to escape. and it was in that prison that Namjoon had been since you left, pondering his crime of having loved, of having loved you, of having loved you too much, knowing perfectly well that there was no possibility of freedom now that you left with the cell key, left with Namjoon’s heart. how could he dream of freedom when you had tied him with ropes of anguish and chains of hurt? Namjoon constantly lived on a bed of melancholy, surrounded by bars of pure suffering that prevented him from seeing the light of the world, retaining all the colors, expelling any and all happiness that could try to appease Namjoon’s broken heart. all because you left and took Namjoon’s heart with you. “i wasn’t able to stop you because you still held my heart with the same love that formed these bars, but you left. with two hearts. one mine, two yours.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who only sees you when he tries to move on. but maybe it’s time for him to forget, for him to put his past behind him and try to focus on a future he once dreamed would be bright. with you. the future Namjoon had dreamed of was bright and it was with you. no. it couldn’t be with you. Namjoon would move on and forget about you. yes. he would force himself to move on from now on. focus on his happiness. that previously only existed with you. Namjoon’s happiness only existed with you because you were the happiness in Namjoon’s life. no. it couldn’t be you no more. you are not here anymore. Namjoon needs to move on and forget about you. forget all the promises he made to you. forget all the kisses exchanged. forget all your idealized plans. forget you. you. Namjoon’s happiness. in the past. in a present in another reality. in a future dreamed of by Namjoon. he couldn't move on. in whatever direction Namjoon looked, he only saw you. and it was you he wanted, because you were the one he loved.

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who stops distinguishing reality from dreams. Namjoon could have sworn he woke up next to you — why wasn’t your pillow there? Namjoon could have sworn he heard you calling him from the kitchen — why weren’t you eating breakfast? what witchcraft was happening from the moment he opened his eyes? why did all of your essence still travel through Namjoon’s house when you weren’t there? did you go back to him? just for one night? no. he didn’t remember having you in his arms. he would remember it perfectly if you had returned to his arms. so how did he hear your voice asking for help making the bed? what was happening to Namjoon? how did he le—

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who knows he’s not worthy of being loved, but still hopes to see you again just to be proven wrong.

[epicspheal]

Let's Have A Champion Time! A Leon Analysis

Leon…he’s the reason why this blog even exists. He (and the entire cast of Galar) are THE reason why I’m really into modern Pokemon outside of Pokemas and Alola Reguri. Let’s talk about the great (formerly) unbeatable champion of Galar. Ever since he was announced he was subject to a lot of conspiracy theories (remember all of the “Leon is a fraud” and “Leon is actually evil” threads pre-SwSh) and even after the release of SwSh people had a lot of interesting takes on Leon (“Leon’s a himbo”, “Leon is still a fraud”, “Leon is a bad brother”, “Leon is a bad friend”). But a lot of people have seen the good in Leon and how wonderful of a character he is and I just wanted to add my two cents to the “Leon is an amazing Pokemon character” bandwagon Please note for the sake of this I’m only discussing game!Leon (so Pokemon SwSh and Pokemon Masters EX) otherwise this analysis would go on forever.

Now onto the analysis! Let’s start of course with Leon’s name. While Leon is an actual name, for our beloved directionally challenged champion it actually derives from Dandelion. And dandelion surprisingly has a lot of symbolism such as

Wishes coming true: Leon certainly has a wish to see the trainers of Galar be the strongest in the world

Surviving difficulties: Leon managed to be an unbeatable champion in what is probably the most difficult gym challenge circuit in the Pokemon World. Not to mention all of the other burdens that come with being champion

Heat/the power of the sun: Charizard 

Happiness and Joy: Leon is certainly truly happy when he’s in battle

I also wanted to take a bit of time to point out an older post I made regarding Leon’s Outfits because it’s actually chock full of symbolism that I think often gets swept under the rug because his champion fit is seen by many to be a bit goofy! I encourage you to check it out but in short summary it definitely symbolizes the image he has as champion and the burdens that come along with it.

Now to his team! Leon is one of the few champions (other than Blue, Trace, Nemona, and technically Hau, N, Kukui) to actually have a dynamic team that changes based off the starter you pick. Notice how the vast majority of the ones with a dynamic team occupy the rival role? Well this is actually important because while Leon is the standing champion of Galar, this dynamic team shows that he views himself as much of a rival to the player as he does the Unbeatable Champion. His team is also very British- er Galarian. Which makes sense given the fact that he is very much a symbol of the Galar League which defines the region’s culture, so it makes sense that his team also define the region’s culture as well. He leads with an Aegislash which is a sword and shield and the line itself is linked to people who have leadership qualities and Leon shows he’s a capable leader throughout. Also there’s knight qualities associated with Aegislash that apply to Leon, as Rose during his Darkest Day part 2 even calls Leon a knight.

Speaking of knights, I’d also add the Rookidee that Leon catches as part of the catching tutorial to Leon’s motif as the knight of Galar. Of all the early route mons they could’ve had Leon catch, it’s no coincidence they made him catch the one that’s line is also based off a knight. 

 He also has two powerful dragon types in Haxorus and Dragapult. Dragons are big in British culture and not only that his dragons are based off of weapons, a battle axe and fighter jet. This again points to Leon being essentially the line of defense for Galar. Rhyperior and Seismitoad also have motifs related to battle/war. Rhyperior has a drill and club while also coated in armor while Seismitoad can secrete various chemicals and packs a powerful punch Mr. Rime leans back into British Culture with clear design inspirations from Charlie Chaplin a famous British entertainer. While Leon aims to win, he also wants to put on a show for his fans so Mr. Rime definitely embodies this aspect. Mr. Rime also takes some inspiration from the yokai Haradashi which is known for cheering up sad and lonely people.  More entertainment can be seen with his Cinderace which is clearly derived from a soccer player (er I mean football, sorry I'm an American force of habit). Soccer/Football is absolutely huge in Britain so and it’s very entertaining (and fun to play) so this again points to Leon wanting to entertain people with his battles.

Leon’s Rillaboom (which became quite infamous in his anime counterpart) actually straddles the line of both entertainment and battle. Rillaboom has a whole drum set and there are many famous rock bands from Britain but also there’s the fact that drums were used in war a lot especially in Britain.

Another Pokemon that straddles the line between entertainment and battle is his Inteleon. Inteleon is based off a spy and a sniper both of which have clear ties to war, but also the spy part is a throwback to James Bond who is a very famous British fictional character.

And lastly we can’t talk about Leon without mentioning his Charizard. Charizard is draconic which again ties back to battle but it’s also (to some people’s chagrin) a very popular and entertaining Pokemon. Most notably the very first protagonist Red in many canons tends to have a Charizard. Leon in many ways is a homage to Red as he was also young when he became champion and they are both known to be some of the greatest trainers to have ever existed. He’s an example of what could’ve happened to Red if he had chosen to stay in the limelight as Indigo League champion instead of disappearing to Mt. Silver.

To further look at his team we can take a look at his movesets (linked here). We can see his approach is very offensive but he has a lot of coverage ensuring he can hit all types for a lot of damage. When he does opt for non-damaging moves he does seem to prefer status such as confusion through Teeter-Dance and Badly Poison through Toxic showing he aims to disrupt opponents and inflict as much damage as possible. His highly offensive tactic is straightforward but no less threatening and it fits with his genuinely kind and straightforward personality.

I want to take a moment to discuss two key pieces of information about Leon from Sonia and Opal "Thanks for always taggin' along with Hop. I hope you can keep it up. Leon really worries about him, too. He practically raised him, after all." - Sonia in the Motostoke InnThis is an optional piece of dialogue but it reviews a lot about how even when Leon was young he had a lot placed on his shoulders. Leon was definitely a parental figure in Hop’s life which no doubt contributes to the idolization we see Hop have of him throughout much of the game. This also adds to the meaning of the cape he wears as he has had so much riding on his shoulders.

"Your talent in Pokémon battles is beyond anything I've ever seen, but you're rather hard to read..." - Opal’s audition notes

We know Opal is very astute and can read people as well, but for her to not be able to read a then 10-year-old Leon says a lot. It shows even at a young age Leon kept up a facade in order to maintain the happiness of those around him and just shows how much pressure he’s been under pressure for as long as he can remember.

"Hello, hello, Wedgehurst! Your Champion, Leon, is back! I promise I'll keep doing my best to deliver the greatest battles for you all to watch!"

I really liked this quote as it’s very straightforward but planned. This is Leon in full champion-mode as he’s addressing the public in this part. I know during this speech a lot of people who played SwSh started to get annoyed with him because of his references to being a champion and unbeatable but I feel like people missed the fact this is him playing up a persona. The people over the years have clearly liked him talking about his being unbeatable and so he leans into that to give the people what they want.

"Look at you, Hop! I reckon you've grown...exactly an inch and a quarter since the last time I saw you!"

This line right here should’ve honestly quashed any ideas that A) Leon was dumb and B) Leon was a bad  brother. This line clearly shows him being observant (which many people who are dumb don’t do) as well as mathematical and he makes a point to notice the little things about his brother who he doesn’t get to see a lot. If he didn’t care about Hop he wouldn’t make note of something like the amount of height he has obtained since they last met up

"I bet you will be, Hop. That's why I brought along these Pokémon for you and <player>. So the two of you can battle and train and grow stronger together...to try to reach me!"

Another thing that people that seemed to make of Leon was that he’s unreasonably arrogant and self-absorbed. But here we see that he has a vested interest in seeing Galar trainers grow and maybe one day actually reach and surpass him. Yes in the entirety of the speech he does play up the unbeatable champion persona a bit but he is doing that to motivate not downplay and discourage.

"Your moves passed right through it? So, the fearsome Pokémon they say live in the Slumbering Weald...Are they actually illusions or something? Get strong enough and maybe the two of you could be the ones to reveal the truth someday. For now, let's simply get out of this place. You'll be alright now that I'm here with you!"Again this is another example of him being supportive of both Hop and the player growing and improving by giving them another goal besides just beating him, but to discover the secrets of the Slumbering Weald. This bit of motivation actually lowkey helps Hop get to his eventual path of being a Pokemon Professor

"Good to see you, too, Yamper! Yamper here is a real champ when it comes to helping you find your way around. He came to my rescue plenty of times back in the day, when I got lost on the road. Oh yeah, and that's his Trainer, Sonia. What can I say about Sonia? Well, I like the way she cooks. She makes food you can gobble down in a flash."I loved this quote from him because it shows the tension he and Sonia currently have due to their strained friendship but that he also still appreciates her and her Yamper for how they helped him during his own gym challenge.

"But Hop... Did something happen with him? He was acting really odd when I ran into him. He took one look at me and immediately was like, "I'm so sorry, Lee!" It might be the first time I've heard him apologize for anything, and I've no idea what it was for! Maybe he's feeling down because he's had some hard losses in battle?"Again this line shows how much concern and attention he pays towards Hop. Despite them not always having a lot of time to spend with each other he still knows Hop well enough to know when he’s acting oddly and he genuinely wants to know what’s going on. The reason why he DOESN’T know the full story because Hop didn’t actually explain what was going on…not that he didn’t pay attention

"I already told you, didn't I? Keep your eye on the goal! And for you, that's winning the Gym Challenge! The only Gym Badge left is the one you'll get from the Dragon Gym's Leader, Raihan. Right? Raihan is the only Trainer out there I consider a real rival. He's that good, you know!"

Here we see more of Leon trying to motivate the player into aiming for him, even if it means he takes on the threat of the random Dynamaxed Pokemon all by himself. And here we get a chance to see him talk about Raihan, the only person who actually makes him sweat even a little in battle. He’s showing a lot of respect towards Raihan which again beats back the claims that he’s exceedingly arrogant as most arrogant trainers tend to act like they have no peer in terms of strength. This again furthers the parallels between him and Red as Red also has exactly one person he views as a real rival, Blue.

 “Thanks! I appreciate the thought. But all I could ever ask of you would be that you join me in the greatest final match ever. I'll do my part to make that happen by keeping everybody's future safe. So you just keep on doing your part by winning your way through the Gym Challenge!"Once again Leon is trying to keep Hop and the player out of danger which shows his concern for his brother and friend but also a bit of his savior complex, something that was built on him being the strongest in Galar for so long. I know by this point many people were a little frustrated by him keeping the player out of danger but it shows how he really takes the job of protecting everyone else seriously.

"That was incredible. Brilliant. Honestly...there were even tears rolling down my face before I knew it. To think that the two of you set out together from the same town, built up the greatest teams, and arrived here at this point to throw everything you had at one another... That burning desire to win... Those moves filled with undefeatable passion! It was battling at its very purest, in every possible way! Even though there were some Trainers who weren't sure whether you were fit to be endorsed for the Gym Challenge at first..."I remember playing Pokemon Shield for the first time and having such a huge grin reading this set of text. Once again Leon at the end of the day, loves his brother and loves seeing trainers grow. And this battle, although the end of the road for Hop in the gym challenge, gave Leon a bit of what he wanted. To see his brother grow and see someone (the player) that could actually reach him. As someone who has a (forced) smile most of the time getting to hear an account of him having a bout of genuine emotion is actually touching. Plus him admitting he was wrong for doubting their ability to be endorsed in the first place shows humility and that he's able to have his mind changed on certain topics. 

"I think I understand well enough. What I don't understand is why we ought to cancel tomorrow's tournament in order to solve a problem that's a thousand years away from affecting any of us! What difference is one day going to make? My duty as Champion isn't this...this madness. It's to carry out that Championship Match! That's what Galar wants—and what I want! It's what we've all been looking forward to for so long!"The argument between him and Rose about the future of Galar for many seemed odd and pointless but I think these lines actually show a lot about Leon people don’t consider. Once again we see that Leon does indeed understand there are energy issues that are plaguing Galar but also we see a side of him we haven’t seen thus far. We know he has the wish to see Galar trainers to be stronger but up until this point that wish hasn’t really been threatened. But it is with Rose trying to cancel the tournament and here we get to see our usually compliant champion say “that ain’t in my job description” in regards to the match being potentially canceled. The part where he said “That’s what Galar wants- and what I want” is really striking because yes once again he’s putting the wants of Galar on his shoulders, but also he even directly states he wants to see the match through. Given the emotions that we saw from him with the Hop vs Player battle we can imagine that this year in particular he was itching to see the match. Sure Raihan always gives him a run for his money, but the player is shaking things up and after years of being undefeated this had to be very exciting for Leon. And while we’ve seen him state his wishes of strong trainers to the public, for him to say that Rose of all people was actually really powerful. He’s not just looking forward to the battle for the sake of his fans, but for his own sake as well

"The tense, still air on the pitch... And the exact opposite from the audience, cheering and yelling... They're both fantastic, wouldn't you say? But remember, the audience is also a bit cruel... They want nothing more than to see one of us lose, after all! It can fill you with fear knowing that, but I absolutely love pushing past the fear. I love giving it everything I've got as a Trainer and seeing my team give everything they've got to seize another victory! It's the greatest feeling in the world, and I can't get enough of it! I can feel my partners itching with anticipation inside their Poké Balls... We're going to have a real champion time. I'm the Galar region's Champion, Leon! Me and Charizard, and all the rest of our team, will use all our knowledge and experience to crush you completely!"This line right here gives me chills. It’s a speech very reminiscent of the champions of previous regions in it shows Leon as THE obstacle to overcome in Galar. His mention of the audience having the cruel want to see one trainer fall was intense because it brings back into focus how much of a spectacle the Galarian Gym challenge is compared to other regions in the game verse. I love the mention of how at times he might have felt fear knowing the audience wanting to see one person fall showing another vulnerable side to him besides his ability to get lost easily. Also the emphasis of Charizard being his ace as he’s the only team member he names outright just shows how deep the bond he has with his starter Pokemon

"You came to help me in spite of the danger? Thanks, Hop. And you, <player>. You two really have grown tremendously! But no need for you kids to worry. It seems like some power of Eternatus's was keeping my team from Dynamaxing, but...we've had a champion time all the same!"

Ahh, the famous lines before Leon gets knocked out! Once again we see him encouraging Hop and the player by commending their courage and growth. But also we see his champion persona coming into play here as he seems to make light of facing down Eternatus. He’s trying to keep the kids from being too worried while also showing them how strong he truly is. And to be fair, he almost single handedly tamed Eternatus which is impressive when you realize how far got on his own when it took Hop, the player and the two wolves to actually bring Eternatus down. Some people have used him getting knocked out to pain Leon as a fraud, but in reality this scene shows how truly powerful he is. Not to mention he’s one of the few champions who actually actively tries to intervene

“And now that you've grown so strong, perhaps it's time I started looking ahead myself. It's time we adults started working on improving the here and now, for the sake of all that's to come!"

I really like this part of his speech after you beat him because you see even though he’s had his world turned upside down by getting his first official loss, he’s not stuck in the past so to speak. He’s not worried about trying to regain his crown as champion. Instead he’s more than happy to pass the torch to the new generation and think of ways he can support upcoming trainers all the while now having a new goal for himself. Instead of being the obstacle to overcome now Leon has his own obstacle. The player.

"As your older brother… No, as your rival, you have my full support!"This was such a sweet line from Leon once Hop decides to become a professor. You could tell in this scene it meant the world to Hop to know that Leon supported him changing paths but also views him as a rival. Bad brother Leon, where?!

"<player>! I've been waiting for you. Always knew you'd be able to win your way here. Now, how about you take on Challenger Leon with everything that you've got?" Again going back to his lines after being defeated, Leon is just over the moon about now finally having an obstacle to overcome instead of being the insurmountable obstacle that came with being the Unbeatable Champion. Even when he shows a bit more raw frustration in his defeat animation in the battle tower, you can tell he enjoys having someone who pushes him like the player does. So much so that if he DOES win we get treated to this line: "Come on—remember our final match! Is this really the best you can do?!" "Hah! Don't you start on me, Raihan! I'm really trying here! See, I've spent my whole life battling with myself to become the greatest Trainer... And then I saw how <player> grew so strong by competing against my little brother, Hop... and how much it made Hop grow, too. It really proved to me how much further you can go when you're battling against a proper rival! And now that I've taken over running the League from Chairman Rose... I'm thinking I want to bring even more thrilling battles to our wonderful Galar region! So for both these reasons, I've called you all here today to tell you that... I'm declaring the Galarian Star Tournament open!" I liked this quote from Leon a lot because it shows his own reflection and growth. Even though he acknowledged Raihan as a true rival, he admits that he was mainly competing with himself in regards to improvement as a trainer. But Hop and the player’s rivalry inspired him to look at competition with others in a different way. And now that he’s at the helm of the league he wants to continue his dream of making Galar’s trainers stronger by allowing them to work together in battles!

Alright so we’ve gotten through the quotes I wanted to focus on from SwSh…but now I want to talk about some quotes from Pokemon Masters EX

"I'll always be around to make sure we have a champion time! I won't let anybody down!" - Sygna SuitWe know Leon really cares about making sure everyone else is having a good time and we can see even though the Leon that was brought to Pasio has been through the Darkest Day, that he still very much concerns himself with others’ wants

"I trust you too, Hop. I'm proud to be your brother."

"Me too. But y'know what? We were always together, even when we were apart." - From the Galar Legendary AdventuresI really adore these pairs of quotes because again it shows just how much Leon adores and respects his brother Hop. He recognizes that they don’t get to spend a lot of time with each other but that doesn’t matter to him as their bonds are still as solid as ever. As someone who has older siblings who I also didn’t get to see much growing up (let alone now as an adult) I can really relate to Hop and Leon’s dynamic and it honestly made me and my family feel seen through a Pokemon Game of all things.

"It didn't look like they were lying or trying to play innocent..." - Galar Villain ArcAgain putting to rest Leon not having a lot of brain cells, Leon was able to correctly ascertain that the Oleana and Rose who were transported to Pasio hadn’t yet tried to reenact the Darkest Day. This again shows his keen observation skills that quite frankly allowed him to remain champion for so long. 

‘That's why, before anything like that can happen, I want to properly tell him this time that...we can change the future together—not alone!" Leon here is reflecting on a flaw that both he and Rose shared in that they both felt the need to shoulder everything themselves. Yet since this is a Leon that had already been through the Darkest Day and getting knocked and seeing how the team work of Hop, Gloria, Zacian and Zamazenta actually solved things, he wants to bring this message to Rose.

"Your way of doing things shuts other people down. And with that, your valued partners will drift away."

I really like this dialogue of him confronting Chairman Rose about how he acts. The fact that he mentions “your way of doing things” shows this is kind of a pattern Leon himself has dealt with during his time working with Rose. We know he respects Rose and appreciates the opportunity from the endorsement he gave him all of those years ago, but that doesn’t mean he can’t call him out on his BS. Honestly I would love for a SwSh remake to expand on this line leading up to Rose unleashing the Darkest Day to better improve that plot

"My little bro always used to say, "I want to be just like you, Lee!" But the two of us are really different people. After lots of frustration, he finally found his own path. That's why he's doing so brilliantly now. There's nothing at all wrong with being different!" - It’s All Good, the Free Spirit EventI wanted to end off the quotes with once again showing how much Leon looks after Hop and how proud he is of little brother. You can see through this quote that the reason why he took a more hands-off approach in guiding Hop was so he could find his own path without feeling like Leon was steering him in any one way.

Phew, that was a lot and honestly there’s a lot more I could add but for the sake of not making this Tumblr post too long and getting this out for Leon Day, I’m going to end it here. Leon is a great champion and overall character and I hope people come to appreciate him more as the years go on! 

[solaireverie]

Solsplaining Lestappen Gate 2023: Motivations

(aka i spent a full day psychoanalyzing rich white men who drive fast cars for a living)

I'll be the first to admit it: the recent rumors of a move to Red Bull for Charles / news involving him that is just as shocking, affectionately known as Lestappen Gate 2023, is likely delusion. (Or in the words of my beloved sister, "silly season didn't deliver this year, so we have to find something else to obsess over")

However, one common misconception is that one of the main reasons why a deal like this would fall through is the perception that Charles is, and will always remain, loyal to Ferrari, and would never move to another team. However, I actually think that it's very possible for Charles to want a transfer.

Charles is a professional athlete. You don't get to the level that he's at without being dedicated, hardworking, and incredibly competitive. (You can even see his ultra-competitive nature outside of the car — just take a look at the Ferrari driver challenges on Youtube.)

Every single Formula 1 driver (with the possible exception of the man, the myth, and the legend that is Yuki Tsunoda) dreams of winning the World Driver's Championship. Charles isn't going to stay with a team that promised him victory yet keeps failing to deliver (see Silverstone 2022, Spain 2022, Hungary 2022, etc), especially when he's already proven that he can challenge for the title when given a competitive car and decent strategy.

In fact, Charles has already told us the circumstances under which he would be open to leaving Ferrari: when he no longer believes in their "project" and he doesn't feel like he's maximizing performance. (He states clearly that he won't leave at the moment, but the most reasonable estimate for a move has always been 2025, after his current contract expires.)

Now, what could possibly qualify as not maximizing performance? Maybe Charles' past four years with Ferrari?

It obviously isn't all Ferrari's fault. Charles has made his fair share of mistakes and he's paid for them (ex: French GP 2022), but at the end of the day you have to admit that Ferrari seems to make an inordinate amount of mistakes for what should be one of the most prestigious teams in the sport.

Also, not directly related to Charles going to RBR, but it's been said that Ferrari only want to keep one of their current drivers for the future due to concerns about car development since Charles and Carlos have different driving styles. They would prefer to retain Charles, and that's why Carlos has been having difficulties with his contract, but at the end of the day I think that may be another concern Charles may have.

Red Bull have proved time and time again that they are currently on top in terms of car development, pace, strategy, etc. etc. It truly cannot be stressed too much the insanely dominant season they're currently having, and it seems probable that they'll continue this streak into at least the next two to three seasons.

(And even if they do fall off after the 2026 regulations are introduced, they've shown that they can remain competitive and fight to get back to the top. Red Bull have had two periods of domination in the past decade-ish and Ferrari haven't had a WDC since Kimi in 2007 or a WCC since the year after.)

If Charles wants to leave Ferrari to get a better shot at the WDC, Red Bull would be one of his best bets.

On the other side of the equation is Max Verstappen, who has consistently praised Charles' racecraft and has even said that he thinks that they would work well together (mind you, this article is from 2019, which was waaaaaay before their relationship reached the stage that it's at now, and Max was already floating the possibility.)

Red Bull is currently Max's team. He would definitely have a significant amount of input should they decide to change his teammate. Everything he's said so far about and around Charles, as well as the way he acts with him, points to Max not being opposed to the idea. (I'd even go so far as to say that it's possible that he wants to race alongside Charles... *cough* those comments about putting Charles in a better car *cough*)

Red Bull as a team would also benefit greatly from signing Charles. Firstly, he's a great PR asset. He's a media darling and at least one of the top three most popular drivers in F1. For a team that's basically a glorified marketing campaign, that's incredibly important.

Secondly, he and Max have similar driving styles. They're both aggressive and prefer borderline "undriveable" cars. Red Bull have the same issue as Ferrari currently in that their two drivers don't necessarily share the same style, which makes car development difficult. This results in the car suiting one driver (usually the faster) over the other, which then leads to the other driver performing abnormally substandard (see post-Miami 2023 Sergio and McLaren 2022 Daniel).

There are, of course, people who think that Checo might keep his seat or Daniel/Liam/Yuki will replace him.

Checo hasn't been able to achieve a 1-2 in the championship despite having had two dominant cars. This year, if he does get it, it would be by the skin of his teeth (fingers still crossed for Lewis!!!), which if you look at Max's gap with him in the points is simply ridiculous.

He's been decent for getting in the points, but a car like the RB19 shouldn't just be "in the points". Of course, it's not exactly suited for him, but less Q3 appearances than Oscar Piastri, a rookie who had a bad car for a third of the season? Sergio has always been a driver who excels in midfield teams and dragging decent cars higher than they should go, but I don't think he's built for championship contention in a dominant team like Red Bull.

I hate to say it, but realistically I don't see Daniel finding his way back into a RBR seat. He's still a good driver, but he's getting older and his stints with Renault and McLaren really hurt his reputation. The main reason that I think Red Bull would keep him now is for marketing but they've already achieved that by first making him their third driver and then sticking him in Alpha Tauri. Moment of silence for Nyck.

Let's take a look at Red Bull's history of choosing drivers: they've always leaned on the younger side. Sebastian Vettel, Max himself, Pierre Gasly, and Alex Albon were all brought in to replace an older driver. (Which again proves my point about Daniel: Why would RBR replace Checo with a driver older than him? This sentence pained me to write. RBR Daniel you will always be special in my heart!!!)

On the other hand, both Pierre and Alex have shown Red Bull that promoting a rookie too soon can hurt both of them. Yuki, perhaps, but he's not the most stable driver, and he doesn't have the raw talent that Max possesses to make up for the mistakes he makes occasionally. (Personally, I think he'll go to a midfield team eventually.)

For Red Bull, Charles would be a fantastic addition. He's already proven himself, is a publicity powerhouse in his own right, and can compete with Max. Just... no Brocedes ending, please.

Red Bull and Ferrari are incredibly similar in the sense that they are both, at the core of their existences, a mythos, albeit in vastly different ways. Red Bull Racing is a marketing scheme that chases success above all. Scuderia Ferrari is the years of history that looms behind the name.

They're both trying to sell you something, it's just that one is an energy drink and the other is the legend of the Prancing Horse.

Eventually, when Charles is no longer buying into Ferrari, he's going to go looking for another team to put his faith in, and plenty of signs point to it being Red Bull, who in my opinion has shown that they would be more than happy to accept him.

This still doesn't explain why Ferrari would also be posting Lestappen and it's entirely possible that it's all just a ✨ coincidence ✨, but in the meantime I will choose to be delusional!

If you've read to here, I salute you for reaching the end of my ramblings. Please drop by to let me know what you think! Have a nice day and stay hydrated <3

[astroyongie]

Enhypen Reading March 2024

note: please take it lightly

Heeseung

Love: as far as I can tell, Heeseung is in a relationship at the moment but other have some troubles when it comes to communication (this bc I believe his current s/o is probably not Korean and they might struggle with language barrier which makes the relationship a little complicated) 

Career: he is having some complications with one of the managers, however when it comes to himself, Heeseung has been a little bit out of touch with his career, he isnt putting as much energy as he might have liked to put (that because he feels the dynamics are shifting)

Self: his mental health is struggling a little but that mostly because he was formatted into thinking in a certain way and with maturity and age he is understanding that the world isnt what he initially though it was. He is trying to involve with culture but its hard 

Jay

Love: I do believe that this man is also in a relationship that just started very recently but Jay doesnt seem like he is fully committed with this person. I dont know if there’s a special reason for this, but he is keeping things rather simple of now 

Career: his career is going well, his sponsorship have already wrapped up the contracts for solo stuff and he is more than excited to do them. Jay has also been training hard and putting effort into opportunities to show his fans a new side of his idol character 

Self: he has been money oriented lately, he is focused about himself, about how t improve himself in his wealth side, how to invest and also how t assure himself a positive future because he knows everything can come to an end quickly and he wants to put all the opportunities on his side 

Jake

Love: he is also in a relationship but things are quite weird for him, probably because his relationship feels “long distance” type of thing. He finds himself daydreaming about his partner a lot of times, and he probably have set goals that currently are too unrealistic for him and his partner 

Career: Jake have been some difficulties with his sponsorship that aren’t giving him what he might have wanted because he also cannot repay what they ask from him. Jake also feels like he hasn’t been as close to the other members has he had one been (however this feels like he has been the one taking distance unconsciously) 

Self: couldn’t get anything here 

Sunghoon

Love: boy is still dating the same person he was dating in January and things are going well for them since they are establishing a positive relationship and putting everything in table. I feel that he still puts his career first but he is trying to be a good partner 

Career: some complications here, one of his exclusive contracts wasn’t resigned by his sponsors (the brand probably dismissed him) so he wont be doing anything for them this year (or at least until the current contracts ends). Some difficulties in the relationship with one of the members 

Self: he feels really overwhelmed by everything, by his career, but th image he has to put with his fans with the rules he has to follow and the permeant fear that he can be cancelled for anything and anything. I feel like Sunghoon is walking o eggshells for a potencial reason 

Sunoo

Love: he is still dealing with his last relationship and with the arguments. It feels that even after January, February was a month were him and his ex kept talking (probably because they wanted to fix things) and although they have reached a concensus, the lovebirds are still in a complicated argumentative phase 

Career: I am pretty sure that his sponsor ditched him out and he is currently leaning on the company until they figure out what they can do without that kind of support things are a little more ocmlciated for Sunoo’s career. I also feel like the conflicts inside the company continues 

Self: he feels trapped in his situation. Theres probably a part of Sunoo who wishes to leave the idol life but at the same time he doesnt want to disappoint anyone 

Jungwon

Love: he is still single, nothing changed much since January, Jungwon is still dating with a side of himself that is way too broken to be able to stay in a healthy relationship at the moment. I am concerne about his mental health too 

Career: there’s some changes here, when it comes o his career. Jungwon have been activity putting his goals aside to allow some members to shine more than him yet he still tries to grasp a few whenever they come up 

Self: he is in a very emotional state, just like In January he is someone that longs for a relationship, he longs to find someone that will comfort and love him and that puts him in a fragile position 

Ni-ki

Love: Niki has been seeing people In a non official way however he is being way more selective than he was in January. He isnt allow to just be around anyone and his flings are hand picked 

Career: some complications here as well, I feel like Niki have made some mistakes when it comes to his image and these will keep repeating itself because he totally is obvious about consequences  

Self: he is someone with a straight head and perception and he doesnt allow things of everyday life to touch him in a negative way. Overall, Niki is doing fine, mentally and physically 

[anheliotrope]

General Bragging Announcement

I guess I never mentioned the fact that I DID get my gamer moment. I'm the world record holder for Deus Ex Randomizer speedrun!

I did this run on the 30th of July. My first run ever was 3h12m on the 2nd of June. The other top runners have been playing this for a couple of years prior at varying levels of intensity, it's not quite clear to me. But either way, the speed of my ascent was commented on a lot.

In a couple of months I was able to push Nitram out of the top 10 ("I'm sorry!" An lied) and get a convincing lead over second place. I, uh, managed to severely reduce enthusiasm around WR-chasing speedrunning and we shifted towards doing races instead.

During those couple of months, I think I played at least 5 times more than either runner. I was dedicating an average of 30 hours per week to this while being employed. It felt like I never quite found out how good the other two runners _could_ get because of this discrepancy, but they also had way more experience than me. They also streamed every single time whereas I would stream infrequently.

Going from "I could never get even closer to WR, but it's fun improving" to "this is super fun, lets see how close I can get to WR" to "THE WORLD RECORD WILL BE MINE" was heck of an experience.

By the way, somewhat recently the leaderboard has been versioned because they released new versions that make the game harder. So this is technically a WR on an older version while Nitram holds the WR on the most recent version. After getting this WR my ability to get myself to play has dropped sharply but I want to get it back.

If you get nothing else from this post, at least take note that I am a Genuine World Record Holder for a Deus Ex micro-community. I will expect the queenly respect I so kingly deserve.

WTF Is DXRando Speedrunning

You take the original Deus Ex, you fix a lot of bugs and glitches, you set the difficulty to hard and then you randomize and try to finish the game with one of the three endings.

What gets randomized, you ask? I'm glad you asked:

The damage, fire rate and ammunition cap of every weapon.

The power of each augmentation.

The power and cost of each skill.

The quantity and location of all items in the game, including mission critical datacubes that contain passwords.

Passwords

The location, quantity and type of enemies, including their weapons.

The location of mission critical goals (e.g. important computers, important NPCs) among a number of preset positions.

Each combination of randomized stuff is generated from a seed. So the quality of a seed is quite important to whether you can actually get WR on it or not.

The Appeal of Speedrunning DXRando

I never had any interest in speedrunning before. It felt like an unpleasantly repetitive and grindy activity. But this being Deus Ex Randomizer made all the difference for me. I've rarely had so much fun getting good at a game.

The most appealing aspect of DXRando speedrunning is that Deus Ex is a resource-based game. Any challenge the game throws at you can be easily dealt with if you have the right resource (EMP grenade, rockets, multitools etc). This means that as you speedrun this game you need to balance resource collection and speed.

Combined with the randomization, this results in an experience that feels like it's testing your skill in a more robust manner than speedruns of games where everything is fixed.

This game forces you to make decisions mid-game, all the time. For example whether you want to spend extra time looking for an aug upgrade in UNATCO to improve your speed aug, or just leave the level immediately.

The fact that I am playing my 50th run but there's still a wealth of novel decisions to encounter is kind of amazing. After my WR, we did an official race (speedrunning the same seed) and I immediately choked at the beginning from encountering a novel situation, just to keep me humble.

Another part is that because DXRando is so chaotic and nobody has actually pushed the speedrun to its utter limits, it's the norm to die during the run and use quicksave / quickload a ton. This is major for everyone wanting to pick up speedrunning because failure doesn't mean "I guess my run is over because I can't do this trick consistently". Any mistake that isn't just outright running out of resources can be fixed by losing some time to quicksave / quickload. This results in your gradually improving at speedrunning rather than improving in large jumps due to hitting walls.

The other major factor is that you have an on-screen time tracker and your runs get automatically uploaded to the unofficial scoreboard and announced to the community on mastodon bot was also really good.

[beta-captions-for-cucks]

When Chastity becomes a part of you

The first time I tried out a chastity cage, I was in college. It had come right after the end of my first relationship. It was a weird and emotional time because I had been dating this really beautiful girl for about 6 months. She was smart, funny, and very beautiful. We were both in our early 20s, and she was excited to "corrupt me" as I was still a virgin.

We had spent a couple months talking about our what our first time was gonna be like and all the different types of role play stuff we'd try afterwards. However, as we got closer to having sex, I began to get very nervous. At some point, I realized I wasn't ready to lose my virginity and asked her if it would be okay if we didn't have sex.

She said no. Sex was too important to a relationship. We broke up.

Soon after the break up, she found a new boyfriend. Taller and more attractive than me. I had felt like I had made the hugest mistake in the world. While she was dating this new guy, I was beginning to discover new parts of the kink world. I had always had a fetish for maid uniforms, but at some-point I discovered maids wearing chastity cages. I was confused but something in me was interested.

I bought a plastic cage, and the first time I tried it on I took it off immediately. Not only was it impossible to easily get on because I kept getting hard, but it felt so damn uncomfortable. How did people enjoy this kinda thing?

I didn't throw out the cage though. Despite being uncomfortable, I kept trying it on for bits of time. I can't say I ever fell in love with it during that time, but I also couldn't stop trying cages on even if for only a few minutes.

I remember also discovering cuckholding around this time and a part of me wanted to drive to my now exs house, confess that breaking up was a mistake, and ask her if I could at least be her and her new boyfriends maid. But, I was much too shy, meek, and confused to do that.

Time past, I got into a new relationship, we lost our virginity to each other. I can't remember if I ever caged myself during that time. I had this misconception that I was a dominate person. When me and her would play around, I'd take the dominate role but always felt lost. Even than, I felt bad she had to settle for what I was packing but she always reassured me she enjoyed it.

At that point in my life, I could stay caged for an hour, two at most. I still thought it was interesting but it was more a curiosity. Why did I like squirting from my cage rather than like how a regular man would? Why did I keep caging myself if I felt frustrated from it?

During the pandemic, I began wearing my cage for extended periods of time. I'd still feel that frustration but it wasn't nearly as intense. The sensation of the cage felt pleasant, and Oing with the cage on felt better than any other way I had before.

One day, while I was putting on the cage, I noticed a difference. I didn't get hard while putting it on. It was at this point, I realized the cage had won over my biology. Before, getting the cage on was a grueling process. I'd have to put on the base ring, wait a few minutes to calm down, and even than getting the cage part on was hard. Yet, that day the cage just went on. There was no fighting it. No difficulty.

From that point on, I felt almost naked without the cage. I could go hours without wearing it, but why would I want? I felt so much less anxious when I was caged. However, wearing the cage also made me want to do other things and so sometimes I'd go a few days without my cage just so I could focus on life. I was mostly self-locked so there wasn't anyone controlling my chastity. I could cage and uncage as I pleased.

With chastity, I think you need the dedication to give yourself time to get used to it, but also have someone your staying caged for. Someone who can give you guidance, reassurance, and some humiliation to keep going.

I already had part of that. It was slow, took years, but eventually I got so used to my cage that taking it off felt wrong. However, I also didn't have a person pushing me to keep it on. Now that I have an owner, I wanna be caged. It's no longer just about the sensation but so I can be the best beta sub for her.

[sunisglowing]

FULL MOON IN HASTA NAKSHATRA - PICK A CARD

(sidereal virgo)

WHAT IS MANIFESTING/COMING IN YOUR HANDS? 🌕

PILE 1

You are getting the recognition you deserve. A lot of your have been planning for a celebration. There's a lot of partying and dancing. You will be having fun there. Some of you might be going to a concert soon of a very famous celebrity. Some of you will win a competition or you will perform in front of a crowd. You will be showcasing your talents and getting attention for it. Be ready for a lot of eyes and compliments on you.

I'm seeing that you might have a stage fear or the fear of what all hate and drama comes when you are famous or in the public eye. You are scared of bullying and people bad mouthing you. You might also fear that if you do/did something wrong, you might get caught.

My advice is to keep moving forward even if you fear these things. Because success is in the cards. Some of you might be leaving home and relocating somewhere. You might be fearing to leave your comfort zone rn. Know that it's going to be okay and you will find new people there you will understand your emotions and provide you with security and comfort.

Get out of your comfort zone. It will help you a lot and you will find people a lot people who are gonna help you in your work. Some of you might also be travelling for work.

PILE 2

You have been putting in the work and moving forward slowly in terms of finances. You are building up your finances. You will have to be patient to achieve your goal. You will be achieving material security in your hands that you have been building for a long time. You willing be getting the results of your efforts. Just please be patient.

You have built something stable. It might be for some of you that you have achieved this goal and now you are thinking about your next journey or wish. You might be wanting to start something new. You might be thinking about the next thing you want to pursue and you have a lot of options. Relax, don't worry so much about it.

You have a lot of ideas in your mind right now. Carefully analyse those options, think things through. Divide and analyse the pros and cons. Don't make hasty decisions. Don't wait for the approval of others, just jump once you have decided to swim in the waters. The only approval that matters is your own.

I'm seeing that whatever path you decide to embark on, you will become an expert in it. A leader and powerfigure of some sort. You might also go and attend a school or course for this path. I feel a lot of you will go to a formal education or training for it.

Through this, you will be able to see things from different perspective and have a broad view of the subject. You will be seen as a go to or authority figure/leader in the future in this path. You will become open minded and make better decisions. People will come to you for advice.

PILE 3

For pile 3, I see life has been pretty rough lately. Some of you have been feeling out of balance because of your pain. You might have been betrayed or had ended a relationship (platonic, romantic, any) with someone and it has been rough. You might have had difficulty in dealing with your pain and that might have affected your studies or work.

You personal life might have affected your financial or career goals. I see you might have been facing challenges after challenges in career as well as personal or love life. Now, the good part is that you will be getting opportunities in career or studies. You will start laying the stable foundations with hardwork and training. You might be going for some sort of training or study.

Starting again on the solid ground. You have the resources and finances to move forward and get your life together. You just have to be a little more patient. Don't think that gloomy phase you have been will last forever.

Whatever opportunities you are manifesting or wanting to arrive will only be given to you by efforts. So you have to pick yourself up back and start moving for. Don't expect to arrive something for just in case if you have been waiting.

Also with new goals, there will come new challenges that you have to face. There is still people who will try to do you wrong or hinder you in achieving your goals. These people will be revealed to you, maybe they have been or they will be soon. You are wiser now, so you know whom to trust and pick out who is untrustworthy. Some 6th house energy coming from this pile or you are going through a 6H transit.

There's a lot of competition coming towards you so please be prepared. Also be prepared that some people will be nasty towards you and will do something to put you down. Keep your goals and plans private and don't tell tye new opportunities that coming to you to people right now. I really feel someone or some people will betray you and will hinder you from achieving your goals, so yeah I'm repeating be prepared lol😭

PILE 4

Some of you might have went through a loss. Something that happened in the past might have left you feeling in deep sorrow, broken and unstable. You might have been feeling lonely and isolated, just reminiscing in the past.

This something that ended and there's has been deep feelings of anger and disappointment. You might have been crying over spilt milk. There was a death of someone close to you or something that had died that has deeply affected you. Intense dark emotions govern you at present.

It's time to say goodbye to this phase of yours and move on. It feels like there's a change coming in your life. You might have been running away from feeling all these intense emotions and going through the grief. Nobody else will be able to heal you even if there's good people in your life.

You might be finding it hard to accept that loss. Maybe you are escaping from the pain by going doing all things that have thrill and speed. That will only make you feel restless when you are alone with your own thoughts. Think about what you are doing and it's motive.

You are accepting and letting go of the loss. Feel those emotions. You might have been really private or would have deactivated your socials. Some of you don't like being out in public or getting unwanted attention. You don't like to show your vulnerable self in the public.

This phase of grieving is coming to an end and you will be chasing after new goals. New opportunities for work related travel is coming towards some of you. This time you are putting efforts to move forward in life. Some of you might be relocating as you don't really like being in the same environment. Most of you are moving on from the past to something better and more productive for you.