#and i hate every bit of it lol
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I can't even finish a story when it's about my crippling writers block :(
It's incredibly unfinished and the title is a joke but enjoy ig
I'll probably come back and write more later, maybe, idk
#I've really liked the name Jasper lately#idk why#writing#writer#writers block#I thought first world promethius was a funny title cause like#I feel like the real legit Prometheus would've loved for his torture to be writers block instead of boulder rock#leave comments if you want#I always set it so that folks can comment on my google doc lol#no one ever does :(#I've spent two days writing this#and i hate every bit of it lol#writers on tumblr#writeblr#creative writing#writers#what else do I tag???#art block#idk#raaaaah this is so frustrating#you can tell#because my last like three non-reblog tumblr posts were about it#I dislike greatly that I can't force myself to write weather I like it or not
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FINISHED!!! I've been going insane trying to draw this over the past week. I love how ryuji and yusuke are super impulsive... passing the impulse control back and forth lol
I don’t think yusuke would throw the *first* punch, but I think there are some situations where ryuji would back down and yusuke would throw down. like, ryuji would argue back and forth and then try to leave, but yusuke would keep arguing until the other person takes a swing. “While I abhor the idea of senseless violence, certain people simply refuse to see reason”… is the kind of thing I think he’d say. remorseless lol. which would lead into ryuji being like “dude you just punched a guy out, I don’t think you get to say that.”
also, yusuke's punching with his left hand so his art hand remains uncompromised. Very Important Detail
#ryukita#ryuji sakamoto#yusuke kitagawa#persona 5#p5#persona#my art#🦊💀#I mean I also kinda wrote this scenario for yusuke in ryuji’s rank 8#not satisfied with that second to last bit but alas. I cannot draw it better. farewell#also had to wrestle with paint b&w lol it kept crashing every 5 minutes#I love my wife who hates me so so much#ryuji#yusuke
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
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Mr. Spamton, have you ever tried sewing before? The patterns some people draft up are bamboozling to the mind, for sure...
-Silly woman who tried, but only managed to stitch together lopsided "pillows" from t-shirts and stuff them with cotton balls
#he so silly#It takes a little bit of staring to get used to the angle honestly but eventually.... eventually ill do enough of them to be able to piece#it into motion rather than stills#one step at a time :-33#He's so excited to tell you that lol hes so proud he's been able to upkeep that nasty thing#im sure he had to learn at some point or another after it got some tears or something.#[you've got mail!]#spamton#spamton g spamton#deltarune#deltarune spamton#deltarune chapter 2#i hope you guys arent under the impression that five fingers one these is a friday only thing lmao#fifth finger friday is every day for ygm because i dont have a strict posting schedule... he is free for now#i like the way this one looks a lot and maybe its cause of the new angle i fought with#eventually in a month or two ill hate it but for now im happy with it :-3
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i feel like a lot of fanon characterization of light yagami is just like "this is what the Bad And Annoying Type of Guy I Hate does so Light does that too because he's bad and annoying" no matter how little sense it makes
#iso.txt#death note#light yagami#i get it lol but it's mildly annoying every time i see it in death note shitposts and im not gonna be that guy obv but i'll be thinking#'this is soooo ooc'#i get it i hate the protagonist of some media too#i have a normal amount of thoughts about death note#im not actually mad at ppl being wrong about fandom stuff like idc it's just a tiiiiiny bit annoying#like it's one thing to have differing headcanons...#he did lots of stuff in canon that you can be mad at you don't have to do this mischaracterization thing
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a dream of home
#be warned i felt like yapping in the notes and by god thats what i did#i loooove making messy drawings like this actually. i love colouring and making finished pieces but#i only have the patience to do it every so often. clean lines and detailed colours are <3 but they cause me psychic damage#so its nice to just be able to sketch and only clean it up a little and then go fuck it. colours time#i did not want to make vyncents mum blonde even tho thats what they say in canon. theres no way. it just doesnt feel like it fits#i tried to make her hair a pale purple turning to blonde-ish at the ends instead but the lighting just completely washed that out lol#my artwork#jrwi vyncent#jrwi#jrwi vyncent sol#jrwi anna#jrwi anna sol#anyway. bizly bizly channel. condi condifiction. *slides you a twenty dollar note* PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#tell us more about fauna and vyncents childhood#im on the floor sobbing and begging#i need lore not thats not just haha rpg as much as i love those bits#tell me everything.#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi pd#jrwi fanart#vyncent sol#jrwi fauna#jrwi pd fanart#pd fanart#prime defenders#prime defenders fanart#i fear i may hate this drawing upon waking up#but as the old saying goes#fuck it we ball
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It's funny, you know, of all the people here, I've known you the longest. Sometimes it just seems like you're the only person I can lean on.
#queen maeve#homelander#the boys#maevelander#queenlander#i don't know what they're called#from all these gifsets you would assume i ship them romantically#i don't#but i do love their relationship a lot#and this was mostly born from me loving every time hl himself reminds the audience she was the closest to him#both affectionately and in terms of power#yeah that's why i included the deleted scene lol#it's canon to me#that part specifically#not the rest#my gifs#maeve#she meant a lot to hl and i'm gonna hate that he most likely won't care about her death in s4#ok enough of me spamming her tag i'm done again for a bit
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riot making arcane the main canon is honestly the stupidest and most unnecessary move, its taken alot of enjoyment from the show for me bc now instead of seeing it as a really well made fanfiction that i can just sit back and enjoy the reinterpretations of without worry i keep thinking how whatever they do is gonna fuck with canon and how much is retconned bc of it
they didnt even finish the other, waht 10 year old now?, retcon and now they are doing it again?? what for?? literally nothing is gained from forcing it all into arcanes interpretation- even if they want to bring more characters the show made up into the game you can do that without having to make the show the center of everything; i might have stopped playign the game but i still care about some of the characters and stories, the lore and worldbuilding is what i enjoyed most of any league stuff, all of which is now on thin ice (granted, it has been since they started to fire their writers, but now even the work they did might not even stay), it hurts to see things you loved being thrown into the garbage for no reason, whatever time i spent thinking and caring about it essentially wasted, deemed that what i cared about didnt matter at all (hhhh similarly so with totk, what is it with these things happening to the few things i ever liked ......)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#arcane#league of legends#never thoguht id use these tags again ...#anyway ... its annoying#and it has severly impacted my enjoyment of the show....#when it wasnt canon i found the whole arcane hexcore thing an interesting idea#now??? what is it? is gonna retcon mages as a whole? is that the new void? whatever it is its gonna fcuk with existing stuff#i stopped caring about zelda lore bc of totk and now i guess i need to let go of leagues world too#old skarner and his lore already got thrown out the window- i hate the new him and the complete removal of hextechs og source too#good thing i never got as much into lols lore as i did with zelda#still it feels like im losing every last bit of things i ever liked#'fuck canon and do your own thing' can only get you so far and im tired ... im so tired
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Wireframe card courtesy of bikenesmith. Second image is why I shouldn't be allowed near Photoshop. 😚
DbWKDJSKS OPENINGTHIS IN PUBLIC WAS A CHOICE BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH MY FRIEND
#fave#need this ON HAND#snap chats#OWSJSJS HEELPPP#MY MOST DEPENDABLE OF FRIENDS WITH THE SAUCE FOSKXSKSK#BUT YEHA THERE IT IS …….. exhibit a and b of charles Bubble Butt francis xavier#why they wireframe his ass like that… lol….#erik is once again living my dream 😔#i hate that every time i think of. Fine Asses i think of that one dane cook bit about Perfect Asses#IM SORRY I WAS TWELVE ONCE we all watched dane cook from 2000s youtube animations idc… thats my cope…#ANYWAY MY FAMS HERE thank you again my friend. i am deceased fkOwEODJSJJ
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2024 Brazilian Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso (cont.)
#i hate the lighting in these i couldnt rly do anything to make him look less yellow LOL#but i need to post every clip i have of him ever. okay.#i literally stand like this irl#i am spiritually an old man#f1#formula 1#we do a little bit of f1#fernando alonso#2024 brazilian gp#2024 brazil gp
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“South Park is a satirical show that goes after everybody and at the end of the day is meant to make you laugh and not be taken seriously” and “south park jokes about sensitive topics that hit close to home for a lot of people and it’s absolutely valid to feel uncomfortable by some of it” are statements that should be able to co-exist tbh
#this is something I think a lot of people need to realize tbh lol#because I see so many people who take this show WAY too seriously#fans of the show a lot of the time to boot#and the things they choose to draw the line at are always so weird??#like why is every single other thing they make fun of in the show fine to you but the second they make fun of one particular topic it’s#going too far??#however I also think it’s important to remember that something being a joke doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not gonna be hurtful#esp since YEAH this show is very offensive and jokes about a lot of dark topics#and some of it CAN feel like a bit much or take things too far sometimes#I feel like it’s pretty normal to feel uncomfortable by it at least a bit??#like I’m one of this show’s number one defenders and there are still absolutely things that make me uncomfortable jokes or not#doesn’t mean I’m gonna go around throwing a fit over it but it doesn’t mean I have to like it either??#and I do think a lot of people have this mindset of you either have to love everything in this show or hate everything#which I think is kind of silly lol
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have you ever considered...that identifying out of woman/girlhood because you don't relate to the societal implications, expectations, etc... contributes to making womanhood (feel) even more restrictive? maybe you feel better when thinking of yourself as anything but a girl/woman because you do not feel like a woman (what does that even mean?) but in my opinion you just added another brick into the prisonwall that is gender.
#just my opinion#i wish it was more accepted to question gender identity and to encourage others to question WHY they dont feel like#they “fit” their gender#and your actions have consequences for others too#there will be girls after you who UNDERSTANDABLY hate being perceived as female but their take away will not be that society sucks for wome#and needs to be changed and change happens with every gnc woman and girl who stands her ground and says fuck you to the gendered expectatio#placed upon her from the moment of her birth#but she will take away that as she does not fit the narrow societal definition of womanhood that there is no space for her in it and#that SHE needs to change and this goes on and on until womanhood is simply the label for people who present the most sexist stereotype of#what a woman is#and the fact that i get asked for my pronouns since having short hair and the girl with long hair next to me isnt is a fucking sign of that#and also i beg you to question why a pronoun a tiny word other ppl use when talking about you is SO loaded with negative/positive#implications that it holds so much importance for you#all this applies specifically for ppl without dysphoria btw#i also believe that dysphoria is at least heavily influenced by societal expectations too but its a bit more complicated#personal#you may send me death threats now lol i dont even care anymore#radfem safe#radblr#radfems do touch
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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time for another “THANK YOU I LOVE YOU” message: THANK YOU I LOVE YOU!!! i’ve been struggling with some severe burnout in all facets of my life as a result of being too stubborn and prideful to recognize said burnout and so i’ve had a hard few weeks with just that + tumultuous personal life stuff + blah blah blah, and wanted to say THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT! i’m giving a little rest from reviews and art (moreso the former) since i was really forcing myself to make ends meet and turning it into a chore and so i’m just kind of forcing myself to stop and rest and be a person. which is excruciatingly hard for a GO GO GO person like me so i just wanted to say thank you for your patience and understanding with that! and thank you for your support!!! i haven’t had the emotional bandwidth to answer asks or DMs lately but i promise i see them and am seriously grateful for everyone who has sent one in, i really want to share the love and get back on my feet and be more active and open and talkative since I LOVE INTERACTING WITH YOU GUYS!! so i just wanted to say thank you for your patience and support in spite of all that. i’m usually my worst enemy in terms of putting the most pressure under myself and buckling under it as a result, i know realistically nobody is sharpening their harpoon gun because i didn’t touch a review for a week. but i wanted to put out a message as a bit of peace of mind regardless 🙏 thank you for your support in any capacity and know that i am extremely grateful for it beyond words!
#just every single aspect of my life has become a chore and obligation and an unhappy one and i thought the solution to that was to force#through it and that is not the case! i hate feeling ‘lazy’ but my body was literally giving out and i still am busy with work obligations so#i can’t afford to have my hobbies and personal life causing that much pain#but rest assured the art and reviews and chatting will pick up! i love them too much to stop and refuse to! that’s why i’m in this scenario#but i just wanted to say thank you and give a bit of an explanation because i would keep agonizing otherwise lol#going through a bit of a transitional period and learning how to care for myself better so i can be more available for friends and acquain#tances. and that includes yinz! thank you for leaving asks and DMs and replies and reblogs i hope it never stops! i want to get more#equipped to answering them#thank you for being here :)
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School is going so great and also I am so exhausted and also I am having an existential crisis
#teaching tag#the kids are great and I think I’m doing a good job teaching them and also I miss the ones from last year so much 😭😭😭😭😭#even though I know I will miss these too once they’re gone like why does 😭😭😭 it gotta be 😭😭😭😭 this way#it’s just a totally different vibe every time#the school year has a new flavor!!! and I hate that!!!!!#change is so bad and disgusting 😭😭😭#but also I think it’s good and I’m doing a good job keeping them moving#one of the revelations/realizations that I’ve had. is that I’m just starting to shift my focus#from …. wanting them to be moved to just wanting them to be engaged?#and I think it’s better.#I’m not quite wholly there. but I mean learning how to actually construct a class so that they are busy and their minds are being stretched#and employed and learning on multiple levels without just saying what I want to happen at them#and it’s a good shift but also a shift that’s making me sad#for whatever reason#it feels like another sign of maturity#but sometimes I miss my own highs#mostly I’m just so unbelievably tired lol.#like the physical and mental stamina required that I just don’t have yet#is so much.#but some strong starts have been made#and also (dare I say this lol) the effects of my reputation being established are also working in my favor#they’re a little bit scared. they’re a little bit more ready to engage and they’re more on board than they used to be#like. it’s happening faster. in terms of getting the class under control#and that’s nice. cause I remember it used to take weeks and weeks. months really.#and of course it’s ongoing and unpredictable.#but it’s better this time#anyway just rambling
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