#and i had to explain to them that my brain dont work in past tense very well

[headfullofstories]

Someone told me during a writing critique that I needed to change my entire story from present tense to past tense (i have never gotten this complaint before) so I had to explain that my brain is not designed to write past tense and it gets messy when I do, it's up there with third person for me. One day I may attempt it, but that day is not this one. I just want to be in a stress-free environment (first person present tense) when I write my silly little story about a clone boy finding love in a bureaucratic hellscape from which there is no escape 😭

[silvercrystalwhump]

Silence and Milkshakes

TW: dehumanizing whumpee, General bbu warning, implied past noncon, tired and stressed boy

The engine of the old, filthy truck hums with a low drone; something clicks around in the hood. It could be nothing, or it could be something terrible. Flynn isn’t planning on checking it now. It is a nice distraction from the aching throb in his side. Silently, he rubs his fingers on the worn leather steering wheel, just barely cooler than the surface of the sun. When he first bought this car, he hated the way the leather stuck to his hands and made driving a lifetime commitment, but now it only resonates warmth through the calluses of his fingers.

The radio is turned down; it broke and is now stuck on an old jazz station saturated in static. Flynn can tell what the artist is through the grinding of the static, he thinks it’s Miles Davis, but Flynn was more likely to guess the winning lottery numbers than guess the song currently playing. Flynn taps lightly on the brake as he approaches a light. Yellow lights glare down at him from its pole. As the car rolls to a stop, Flynn glances at his passenger seat.

Kai is sitting there. Yesterday, Flynn gave him one of his hoodies for comfort while he was at school. Unfortunately, the high school hoodie permanently acquired the faint smell of cigarette smoke years ago. Kai sits as straight as a nail, eyes at his feet. His hands are perfectly still on his lap.

Position 3.

Flynn presses on the gas, and the car lurches forward. His eyes go back to the road, but his thoughts stay on the box boy. He had read up on some information about box boys from WRU’s website. They are people who signed over their rights to get better, happier lives. Flynn keeps himself from scoffing at the thought. Happier lives, Kai looks like he’s seen some horrible stuff. Hell, he’s been traumatized to the point of muteness. Flynn had triple-checked his medical records for anything that would render him mute, but he found nothing.

Why willingly put yourself through that?

Flynn pulls into a small section of town, and he drives the car into a Chick-fa-la drive-through. He wants something in his stomach before he goes and lifts bricks all day from some rich guy. His eyes trail back to Kai, “Do you want anything bud?”

Kai’s bright green eyes look at him. For a moment, Flynn thinks that he’s not going to respond. But, instead, Kai tilts his head slightly, strands of silky red hair fall across his face. Some deep inside Flynn, a side of him twisted by the horror he lives with every day, understands why someone would buy a little box boy like Kai.

So tiny, adorable.

Flynn curses himself and says, "Do you want a milkshake?"

Kai nods silently. His thin fingers pull at the shorts Flynn gave him a week ago. Flynn pretends not to notice; Kai seems to panic when he does.

"Wjat flavor?"

Kai blanks again. Green eyes looking wide at the menus that glow in the early morning light. His eyes grow distant, and he just looks back at Flynn.

Flynn sights and raises a hand. Kai flinches, Flynn pretends to ignore it. Then, he holds up a finger, "Can you hold up fingers?"

Kai nods. The tiny box boy is as tense as hardwood cut against the grain.

"Okay, one for vanilla, two for chocolate, and three for cookies and cream."

Flynn watches the gears turn in Kai’s head. Three pale fingers raise for a second before shooting back to his thigh. Flynn gives Kai a warm smile as he pulls around to the speaker.

As Flynn orders, he sees Kai shift in his seat. Kai pulls his knees into the hoodie and tries to hide his nose in his knees. Flynn notices the boy shivering, and once he finishes ordering, he leans into the partial backseat and pulls out an old quilt.

"I know it's chilly bud, the heat doesn't work in this car," Flynn says as he wraps the quilt around Kai's body. Kai looks with wide eyes at Flynn. He seems to lean into Flynn's touch, no matter how brief the contact.

The drive over, and Flynn hands the woman cash and grabs the food. He sets in it the cup holder area and pulls out. As he drives, he gives the milkshake to Kai. The box boy gingerly takes the cup and holds it. His eyes on Flynn, the entire time, waiting in his eyes.

"That's yours Kai, you can drink it."

Kai instantly puts the straw in his mouth and tries to suck down all of the liquid. Almost immediately, he regrets it. Flynn holds back a chuckle, "You can't drink it so fast Kai you'll get a brain freeze."

Kai blinks at the drink and puts the straw back in his mouth, this time drinking slower. Flynn tosses a chicken mini into his mouth, and he keeps driving.

He drives mindlessly for a few lights until Kai sneezes, ripping him back to reality.

At a red light, Flynn looks over at Kai. He put the milkshake into a cup holder and is now quietly sleeping against the seat belt. Flynn smiles subconsciously and then memories of a few nights ago.

He had awoken to Kai sleeping against his chest. Flynn shoved him aside in a panic and freaked the little guy out. Guilt gnawed at his throat all day after that.

Kai has not tried to touch him since.

Flynn swears under his breath. Why did he put him? There were so many ways to handle that, and you chose aggression.

Why am I so much like my father?

Flynn shoves those thoughts aside. Now wasn't the time for self-loathing; he had the stuff to do. He needs to drop Kai off at Chloe’s and get to work. Gritting his teeth, Flynn pulls through onto one of the highways near his home.

Usually, he wouldn't mind leaving Kai home by himself. Since he got home before his Father, Kai stayed in his room, so even if he did, he would be fine. Not today.

His Dad will have his drinking buddies over to watch the game tonight. Flynn rubs his thumbs across the leather of the steering wheel, anxiety crawling up his spine.

Dad expects him to cater to his friends.

One of those friends is Morrie Mitchell.

Flynn holds back a gag as he pulls into the shopping district of the town. A small bakery with its backlights on sits off to the right. Flynn, with white knuckles, pulls into the back parking.

Putting the car in park, Flynn sets his head on the steering wheel. Bile rises in his throat, but Flynn bites it back.

Hands, he can feel ghost and across his back. The man's voice is a specter across his mind, whispering twisted sweet nothings. He wants to hide away from a voice and hands that are not there.

Tap tap.

Flynn rips his head up and locks eyes with Worried dark eyes. He sighs and opens the door; Chloe stands out in the dawn light. The golden light crosses her face and makes her skin look like golden chocolate.

"Sorry," Flynn says, "I'm just out of it this morning."

Chloe smiles, "Not an issue, I have coffee inside if you want some."

Flynn nods, "Yeah, thanks."

Hopping out of the car, he walks over to the car’s passenger side and opens the door.

Kai stirs. He wakes up and looks at Flynn, confusion and worry across his face.

"Hey bud," Flynn says calmly, "Chloes going to watch you while I'm at work today."

Chloe walks up behind him and wakes at Kai. Flynn guides Kai out by the hand. Kai hops out of the car and lands next to Flynn. Chloe looks down at Kai’s hands and says, "Hd drew on his hands."

Kai freezes and starts to shake. Flynn mentally curses and tries to soothe him, "Its alright bud, it's okay."

Flynn reaches into the car and grabs Kai’s milkshake. Then, leaning into the back of the truck, his fingers wrap around an old math notebook. He hands both to Kai and says, "How about the draw in here okay?"

Kai nods profusely, his eyes begging out apologies. Flynn guides Kai towards the bakery.

Chloe trots out in front of them and opens the door. She steps into a sitting area in the back for the staff that's linked to the pantry.

"I explained the situation to Ma as you explained to me and she's perfectly fine with him staying here."

"Thank you Chloe," Flynn yawns, "I seriously cant thank you enough."

Chloe smiles, "Dont mention it."

She turns to Kai, who holds his things in a death grip, "How are you Kai."

Kai just steps behind Flynn and inches as close to him as possible.

"He doesn't speak," Flynn says softly as he leads Kai over to the worn couch, "He'll listen to you though."

"Mute or nonverbal?"

"I don't know, he just doesn't talk."

Kai sips on his milkshake and bundles in both the quilt and the jacket.

Flynn walks towards the door and pulls out his wallet. Before he can pull out a twenty, Chloe shakes her head, "Flynn, you and I both know you need every penny, see this as a favor from a friend."

"Are you sure, I really don't want to put a burden on you all."

Chloe gives Flynn a look worth an entire essay; we both know you'll need it to escape.

Flynn pierces his lips and nods. He turns back to Kai and says gently, "You can draw back here; let Chloe know if you need anything.

Kai nods sleepily.

Flynn turns to Chloe, "Just remember to give him lunch around noonish and check on on him every so often, if you show him where stuff is hell usually take care of himself."

"Aye aye captian."

Flynn chuckles and waves to Kai. Kai blinks back at him and continues drinking his milkshake.

Flynn hops in his car and drives off to work. But, he still could not stop thinking about Kai.

[sunnydaisy1]

Med Students

JACKSON AVERY X OC  (nr i just found it easier to write with a set name)

A/N: I have been watching too much grey’s atm and I know i have lots of requests to write and a wattpad story to update but the Jackson inspiration is too much ahhh.

I walked through the halls beside Alex as we made our way to the reception. Apparently we had all been paged and we didnt know what for. As we entered the large area, I saw all the residents gathered and I squeezed passed a few people until I reached Jackson and Mer. "Hey guys what's going on?" I asked, pulling Karev away from Arizona. "Fresh meat." Jackson said, nodding towards the line of sweating students. I grinned, nudging Jacksons arm, "oh how fun." He rolled his eyes but a small smile played on his lips as he turned his attention to Chief Webber. "Alright people today we are joined by a group of first year medical students who you will be supervising." He spoke, giving us all a stern look to silence the mumbles of disgust. "Your surgeries are their surgeries so look after them and try to be nice please. Oh and I will be choosing a chief resident soon so behave. Dr Grey will read out who you have been designated." Alex mumbled something beside me which caused Mer to slap him hard and I sighed, knowing this was going to be a long day. Lexie stepped forward, holding a clipboard and scanned the room for silence before proceeding. "Okay Marcus is with April." April waved and the med student headed over to her, leaving for rounds. I glanced up at Jackson who was furrowing his eyebrows. My gaze turned back to the pale interns and Lexie. "Meredith has Helen, Christina has David." The two med students walked over nervously and I laughed at Christina's merciless glare. There was 1 pretty girl left who I could tell was eyeing Alex up. "Dibs." Alex called, nudging Jackson and I rolled my eyes at their boyish behaviour. "No fair." Jackson said, shoving Karev back. "You fancy Ma.." Alex started but Jackson elbowed him in the side and I turned round, shaking my head. They both looked at me sheepishly and I turned back round as Lexie announced who Alex was going with. "Alex you're with Lydia." He triumphantly clapped Jackson on the back before heading over to his newfound 'love.' I patted Jackson's back, "Looks like you've either got the greasy dork or mr handsome." Jackson frowned down at me, "mr handsome?" I poked his cheek as Lexie continued to read out the other residents students, "not talking 'bout you." Jackson gave me a lopsided grin as he turned back to face Lex. "Maddie you're with Sam." A tall brunette stepped forward, a handsome grin on his face. "Greasy dork it is." I said to Jackson, walking off to meet my student. I heard him sigh which made me grin as I stopped in front of Sam. "Hey I'm Maddie, you must be Sam." I extended my hand out to him and he smoothly shook it. "Nice to meet you Maddie." I smiled at him and started walking off in the direction of Trauma. "Okay so today we will be under Dr Hunt who is head of Trauma. If you have any questions dont be afraid to ask but try not to get in anyones way." Sam nodded, "okay ma'am." He grinned at me as we stopped outside the ER. "It can be a little shocking seeing a proper trauma in real life for the first time so if you need to step out just do it." Sam nodded as my face turned serious. 

I stepped backwards, opening the door to the ER and walking through the the small corridor that led to the ambulance bay. "Okay we need to put on these yellow gowns and then we are good to go." I said, tossing Sam a large yellow gown. I spotted Jackson walking through the ER doors and I smiled inwardly at his pained expression, probably from his pestering student behind him. I unfolded my over gown and pulled it on, nodding at Sam who was tying his up. I was struggling to sort out the crumpled part at the back when I felt a pair of warm hands move mine away and I turned round and smiled at Jackson who grinned at me and finished tying a bow with the strings. I blushed slightly and walked over to Hunt and Torres with Sam beside me. "Morning all." I said, peering at the two grave attendings beside me. They grunted in return. I felt a nudge beside me, "hm?" I asked, preoccupied with watching Jackson cross his arms over his chest. "Is that one over there your boyfriend?" Sam asked and I blushed, quickly averting my gaze back to my smirking student. "What? No!" I said, frowning. "Okay cool." He continued before looking around at the ambulance bay. JACKSONS POV "Hey uh Dr Avery?" The greasy med student beside me asked as I watched Maddie talk to Sam and giggle on the other side of Hunt. "Yeh?" I asked curtly, fed up with this guys constant questions. "Is the ambulance coming?" He said, pushing his glasses back up his nose. I narrowed my eyes at him and titled my head to look at him, "yes." I said aggressively and James nodded, fiddling with his yellow gown. "Who's uh..who's the resident over there?" James asked, trying to continue the conversation. "Maddie." I responded, tensing as mr handsome nudged her. "Oh okay." He nodded and my attention was snagged from Maddie and her flirting student to the blaring sirens of an ambulance pulling up into the bay. Hunt and Torres stepped forward as the paramedics stepped out the doors and lifted the patient down. "Amanda Hart, 45 years old, multiple burns on her left arm and a large gash on both her legs, possible fracture on the left femur." The medic stated, helping us wheel her into the ER. I felt James shuffle beside me, awkwardly moving around the gurney. "Dude move out the way." I grunted, frustration clouding my brain. Hunt glanced over at me and I cringed, I really needed to impress all the attendings if I'm gonna be chief resident. When we had wheeled Mrs Hart into a bay and transferred her to a hospital gurney, I glanced up at Maddie who was working furiously, sanitizing the wound on the patients right leg. I shook my head to clear it and focused on the patient who was screaming in pain. MADDIES POV When we had finally given some pain meds to Mrs Hart and the bleeding was under control and she had an MRI, I sat on a stool alongside her arm where she needed a few stitches. Sam was listening to Torres explain something about a dislocated shoulder and Jackson's student was standing close beside him on the other side of the room as he finished suturing a young man. "Almost done Mrs Hart." I said sweetly to the middle aged woman watching me. "Thank you sweetie, you're a real star." She replied as I tied off the thread. I smiled at her and stood up, walking over to Hunt. "Need anything sir?" I asked, the ER was kinda slow today and I didnt want to spend all of today stitching up people, plus Sam should get a full insight of a hospital. "Uh no thanks Johnson, if you're looking for something interesting to show your med student you could observe in OR 2, Sloan's building some cheek bones." I nodded, grinning and heading over to Sam who was laughing alongside Callie. "Hey Maddie." Sam said, smiling broadly. "I've finished Mrs Harts sutures and I was wondering if you wanted to come see cheek bones being constructed?" I said nonchalantly as if I hadn't just suggested going to see a really cool surgery. "Really? Oh my god please." Sam said, gobsmacked. I nodded, "yep, go tell Dr Avery and his student, I think they've finished with their patient." Sam grinned and walked over to Jackson. "You know if you totally didnt fancy the crap out of Avery you could go hook up with Sam right now." Callie suddenly said as I watched my favourite resident talk to Sam. "Wait what?" I asked, turning my attention the the grinning Mexican. "might want to wait til after work though, if the chief found out that would be messy." I stared wide eyed at Callie, "wh..how?..howd you know I like Jackson?" The grinning attending turned towards me, "you told alex and alex told arizona who told mark who told me, word travels fast around this hospital Maddie." I gaped at her gobsmacked, shocked that all those people knew, I was gonna kill Alex. "Oh and the fact that you two never stop eye-fucking each other across the room." Callie added and walked off leaving me embarassed and blushing. I tried to act normal as I walked across the room to Sam. "Ready to go?" I asked and he nodded enthusiastically. "Wait hang on, dont leave without me." I heard Jackson pipe up behind me before placing his hands on my shoulders. "Alrighty then let's go." We walked quickly to OR 2, Sam and the student who's name I learned was James walked a little ahead, chatting about what they had seen today. "Hows Mr handsome?" Jackson asked beside me, his piercing green eyes glinting with humour. "Good, not that annoying and easy on the eyes." I responded, grinning at my fellow resident. "Oh lucky you." Jackson said, grumbling, "greasy mcdorkface over there wont shut the hell up." I laughed and shoved him slightly, causing a shit-eating grin to spread over his face. "Meanie." I said, glancing up at Jackson. "I'm not the mean one you called him a greasy dork first." He replied, crossing his arms over his chest in victory. "Yeah but we're all dorks so doesn't really count." I said, my side brushing against Jacksons. "I'm not a dork." He said defensively and I chuckled, "sure you're not Avery." "You're more dorky than me." Jackson poked me and I grinned at him, "that's why you love me." Jackson beamed and watched Sam and James stop outside OR 2. "I'll ask Sloan if we can watch." I said, walking past the two students and holding a mask over my mouth. I noticed Alex and Lydia standing very close together opposite Mark and I rolled my eyes, "Hey Dr Sloan do you mind if Jackson and our students watch the surgery?" Mark looked up at me from the patient and grinned cheekily, "depends if you and avery are gonna watch the surgery or undress each other with your eyes." I felt my face heat up and I glared at Alex who was grinning amused across the room. "Uh no." I replied, avoiding the gazes of the nurses. Mark nodded, "then you can come in." I walked back to the door and nodded, letting Sam, James and Jackson into the room, each now wearing a mask. JACKSONS POV We watched Sloan's surgery for 2 hours before Maddie got paged to the ER and I got paged to Bailey. James and I were walking out of OR 2, discarding our masks when the awkward student spoke up, "that was really cool." I nodded, trying to be a little nicer to him, "yeah it was, plastics is really interesting and Sloans a great surgeon." James nodded and walked alongside me down to the nurses station. "Is Maddie your girlfriend?" He asked suddenly out of the blue and I scoffed, "no." James frowned and adjusted his glasses, "do you want her to be?" I glanced at the dorky man beside me and chuckled a little at his attempt to get me to like him. "That's a yes then." James answered, smiling a little at my amused expression. "Yeah." I smiled at him as we turned the corner to the Nurses station. "You know if you fancy her you should just tell her, I think she likes you as well." James said, following me to the chart rack. "What?" I asked, confused why he would think that. "She likes you back Dr Avery. She kept on looking at you when we were in surgery and Sam told me she never stops talking about you." James continued, making me frown. "Thanks mate but I'm not so sure." I replied and James shrugged as we walked over to Bailey, arms laden with charts. Bailey brought me to check up on some post op patients and let James do a few checks himself. I couldnt stop thinking about what he said and I was looking forward to having lunch in a bit when I could see Maddie again. MADDIES POV Sam and I left Mark's OR after 3 and a half hours to grab food and let him go for lunch with the rest of his fellow students. "I think you guys are having lunch in the canteen with us." I said, leading Sam to the loud room filled with doctors. "Cool." He replied, walking closely beside me. We entered the canteen and I saw the rest of the residents sitting on a table in the middle with their students sitting a few tables away. I walked over with Sam to get a plate of food and followed him towards the students table where Alex happened to be sitting beside his pretty student. JACKSONS POV I watched as Maddie collected her food alongside Sam, smiling and laughing with him before heading towards his table. "Whys she over there with him?" I asked, absent mindedly eating my sandwich. "Why jealous?" Christina grinned at me triumphantly and I scoffed, glaring at her, "No." Mer chuckled as she slurped on her milkshake. I looked over again to Maddie who was now standing beside Sam's seat, talking to the table of students. "That dude's been flirting with her all morning." I grumbled, chewing on my straw. "Jackson stop being a wimp and just ask her out." Lexie spoke up from across the table. "Urgh no, I've tried before and she ends up inviting one of you guys." I replied, slumping in my seat and shooting daggers in the back of Sam's head. "Well then you just need to clarify it's a date. Maddie's a bit oblivious to stuff like that Jackson." Lexie continued, smiling at my distraught appearance. "What if she doesn't like me back, then i've ruined our friendship completely." I added, miserably picking at my plate.  "Oh grow a pair avery." Christina said, making me roll my eyes at her as Maddie walked over. "Hey guys." She said sweetly, sitting beside me in the empty seat I had saved for her. I grunted in response, intent on picking at my sandwich. "What's up with you?" She asked, nudging me and frowning adorably. I bit into my sandwich and mumbled, "nothin." Maddie shrugged and started chatting with Lexie about the med students and Mark's surgery. I continued to stay in a grump, mulling over how Maddie was gonna reject me when I asked her out later. I was fiddling with the lid of my drink when Maddie whispered to me, "Hey Jackson you okay?" I nodded and continued to listen absent mindedly to Christina complaining. "You sure cos you seem a little sad." Maddie continued, nudging my shoulder with hers. My heart fluttered at her sweet actions and I just nodded, mumbling "I'm fine." Maddie seemed to accept this but placed her blueberry muffin on my tray anyway, knowing it would cheer me up a little. I smiled slightly at her and she grinned back, now trying to make Christina see sense about her Cardio problems. TIME SKIP TO END OF DAY MADDIES POV Everyone was in a bit of a mood now after their review from their med student delivered by the Chief. My review was excellent so I wasnt annoyed but the depressing atmosphere in the residents lounge was starting to get to me. Everyone was already changed but I was still in my pale blue scrubs as Callie had needed my assistance on a surgery 10 minutes ago. I opened my locker before taking my scrub shirt off, placing it on the side and pulling my long sleeved top over my head. I turned around to get my jeans and when I faced back around, jackson was making his way across the room to me. I pulled my scrub pants off and tossed them to the side with my top, yanking on my jeans. Jackson leaned on the locker beside mine as I buttoned up my pants. "What's up?." I said, discarding my scrubs into the bin at the end. I reached into my locker to collect my stuff and looked at the green eyed boy expectantly. "Uh I was urm wondering if you wanted to go uh.. to go to Joe's with me?" He stuttered and I nodded, piling my stuff into my bag and pulling on my coat, "oh yeah sure, I need to talk to Mer about something anyway." Jackson took a step towards me as I closed my locker and put my keys in my pocket. "Urh no not urm not like that." He said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "What?" I said confused, frowning up at him. "Urm like a uh like a date." He continued and I frowned even more, confused as to what the hell he was talking about. "A date with Mer?" I asked puzzled, "Jackson shes marri..." I started but he placed his hands on my shoulders and laughed, making me smile slightly confused. "No a date with me idiot." I instantly felt my face heat up and I felt like an utter dork, "oh." I nervously looked into Jacksons eyes and felt my heart beat rapidly in my chest, "uh yeah, yeah I'd like that." I replied, tucking my hair behind my ear. Jackson grinned at me and I felt a wide smile spread out on my own face, still hot with adrenaline. We stayed grinning at each other and I glanced down to his mouth and back up, scanning his slightly blushing face. Jackson took a step forward, leaning down slightly and I felt the world whoosh around me, all sound and movement blocked out apart from the man in front of me. He stopped an inch away from my face, looking directly at my lips, I could feel his cool breath fanning over me. He looked up into my eyes, his green ones shining. "Can I kiss you?" He breathed out, eyes flicking between my eyes. I nodded slightly, not trusting myself to speak. 

At once, I felt Jackson's plump warm lips press against mine, pushing me back slightly as he cupped my jaw and cheek. My eyes fluttered closed and I relaxed into his kisses, kissing him back softly. I reached behind his neck and hooked my arms over his shoulders, deepening the kiss. I felt his left hand snake down to my waist, brushing under my tshirt and to the waistband of my jeans as he ran his tongue over my bottom lip. I moaned slightly and opened my mouth, letting him slip his tongue in. He brought his hand further round my back, moving his warm hands against the bare skin. I continued to kiss him passionately, feeling the rising temperature in the room. Jackson ran a hand along the front of my waist and his fingers dipped slightly under my jeans waistband. I moaned slightly in response but pulled away, not wanting to get too far ahead of myself. I kept my eyes closed and rested my forehead against his, "I dont want to get carried away." I whispered, breathing heavily. I opened my eyes to see Jackson looking down at me, his green eyes shining. "Let's go." He said, taking my hand in his and placing a gentle kiss on my lips.

[glove23]

1-10

Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

My comfort zone is definitely just about any kind of Angst, with a generous amount of fluff thrown in.

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Not really? If i want to do it i generally just Do It and if I havent im either not a huge fan or i just dont know about it

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Babyfic, it has to be a very specific kind for me to even read it but i defo dont want to write it. Im just not abt it, i work with kids im okay with keeping them out of my fic

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

U should see my notes app on my phone its just filled with half cocked ideas that i will immediately forget i wrote down. Id say upwards of 10 just loose ideas floatin around

5. Share one of your strengths.

dialogue!

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

Not dialogue!

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Finding a small stream running through the forest, it’s edges frosted with ice, she stopped. Crouching down, Alina watched as the light from her hand played across the flowing water and sparkled off the ice.

It was beautiful. She sighed.

Such a small thing could cause so much pain and fear. She was being hunted. She wasn’t safe in towns as people hated her just for being Shu. She couldn’t tell them she was Alina Starkov, the Sun Summoner, because that just put her in a different kind of danger. It left a bitter taste in her mouth that people were more willing to accept her when she was a powerful Grisha, than they were just by looking at her. Not that she was any safer as a Saint than she was being part Shu.

Alina tensed her hand, changing the shape of her light. No longer was it a softly glowing ball, but a sharp looking line of pure light. She slashed her hand down and the light slashed somewhat viscously into the water, shattering the ice at the edges and splashing water up onto her shoes.

Explanation: this just slaps okay?? Yes i Am too lazy to actually link the fic, but its half in love with easy death on ao3

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“I’ve spent my whole life running from the TVA, running towards this moment. To their destruction. And I never thought someone else would be here with me, and I’ve never had to think of someone else’s safety during...well anything really.” Sylvie stared into his eyes, hoping he wouldn’t hate her for the words she had to say next. “Loki, I don’t know if I can do this and keep you safe. If what I have to do risks hurting you…”

Loki put his other hand on top of their intertwined ones. “Sylvie-”

“I think I would still do it.”

I just think it really hits hard and i love the angst :) from darkness spreads under my ribs

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

Both meeting your maker (literally) and your makes meet (figuratively) bc they both long and very involved. Oneshots are easy, chapter fics take coordination

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

Truly it depends on my mental state or how currently obsessed i am with the source material. Rn the easiest to write is the two sylki fics I’ve posted in the past week, as I am very into it rn, they both took me like no time bc my brain is so hyperfocused on them

[iamtaekooked]

Vanilla Rules || Ch 15 (Pjm)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers! AU, badboy! au, college! au

Word count: 10.1k

Synopsis:

The hate saga between you and baddie of the town Park Jimin rests on two very simple rules: 1.) Hate each other for the rest of your lives and 2.)under no circumstances fall in love with each other. But what happens when the possibility of love threatens this dynamic?

A/N: This was a long long long time overdue! I hope you enjoy it! Also the “dont blame for making you fall” line isn’t a 100% original. I was inspired by something similar I had read like a decade ago in some YA novel and but couldn’t remember what it was so just made my own version of it. So credit to. that book and its author. 

Ch 1 || Ch 2 || Ch 3 || Ch 4 || Ch 5 || Ch 6 || Ch 7|| Ch 8 || Ch 9 || Ch 10|| Ch 11 || Ch 12 || Ch 13 || Ch 14 

The incessant tapping of the pencil, the ticking of the clock on the wall opposite to you, the flipping of pages, and the sound of typing around you was making your anxiety worse. Worse because Jimin was already doing enough to make you anxious by looking at you from across the table. You didn’t know if he knew you were aware of his eyes surveying your face. It wasn’t the fact that he was looking at you. It was the way he was examining you. Whoever said eyes are the window to the soul was right because his feelings were apparent in his eyes. 

It was no secret anymore Jimin liked you. The evidence was all there: first he said it himself, second he got mad when Hoseok kissed you at the soccer game, and then he kissed you. Kissing would be an understatement. It was raw, primal energy that somehow rose from deep inside you, and even though the rational part of your brain was screaming for you to not do it, your body had already taken over. 

You could still feel the feeling of his hands on your body. The way his hands were tangled in your hair. The way his skin felt soft, and firm underneath the pads of your fingers. You couldn’t forget how warm you felt, and surge of emotions that washed over you. You remembered how his breaths had fanned your face every time you pulled apart even for a nanosecond.That soft, unnerving sensation he made you feel was still settled into your stomach and etched so deep into your mind you wouldn’t be able to forget it for a long long time. Even as you sat in front of him, your lips still tingled gently with the same tickling feeling that you had felt the night you kissed at Elijah’s party.  

You still remembered how he smelt that night: a little bit like beer and soft notes of musk and velvet from his cologne. You remembered his flushed cheeks, and intoxicated eyes which looked at you in a way that made you want to melt into a puddle of goo. He could snap his fingers and you would gladly will yourself out of existence. He tasted of beer and mint as your lips had melted together into kiss after kiss after kiss. 

Had you not been interrupted that night you would have gone all the way with him because you had lost all control. 

Jimin tapped the table using his knuckles which drew you out of your reverie. Suddenly your body felt really hot. You throat had dried like a piece of parchment and your lungs felt like they were on fire, as if you had just run a marathon. 

You cleared your throat and blinked to push away all the thoughts. “What?” your voice came out unexpectedly breathy-- well that was expected but you didn’t think you were going to sound like you had just been shown stars behind your eyes. 

Jimin’s eyes squinted as he cocked a sly brow. He licked his lips, eyes flickering to yours before he cleared his throat as well. “Were you thinking about that night?” 

You hated how he placed such emphasis on that night. “No!” your eyes widened as you gawked at him. “No way” you coughed suddenly feeling air getting stuck in your throat. 

“You’re completely red” he comments, settling back into his chair and leaning against it. Folding his arms across his chest that look was back in his eyes-- the one from that night-- like the world around you could crumble to dust and he wouldn’t blink an eye. He was looking at you in a way every woman in the world would want to be looked at-- as if you were the only thing that mattered and everything else was dust and nothing. 

His gaze did not waver as he scrutinized you ; studied you with eyes roaming all across your face. 

It took your breath away and you felt absolutely winded. “Why- why” you gulped hard. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“Red is a good colour on you” he leaned in. 

You shook your head. “Stop talking like that” 

“Why? Does it make you nervous?” his lips stretched into a knowing smile, his teeth peeking from behind the little gap. He smiled like he just knew every thought, every feeling you were feeling. Like he could see deep down inside you and knew what makes you tick. Like he knew you in a way that was different from everyone else and he enjoyed it. 

“No.” you lowered your eyes back to the book. “Besides, we’re supposed to be studying” you couldn’t look up at him. You couldn’t face him anymore knowing that it was futile. Everything was futile because in this moment, nothing mattered to you. Not the book in front of you, nor the people around you, nor the trees and roads, and mountains. The world couldn’t distract you from your feelings even if it tried. 

“I don’t want to study” he answered. Suddenly, his face was blocking your view of the book as he had slid across the table.  He was looking up at you, hand cupping his cheeks and a cheeky grin on his face. He was enjoying every single moment of it. You flinched back upon seeing him like that, your back hitting the chair. 

“Dude!” you exhaled with a whisper, almost shouting. 

“Still red” he announced and lifted himself off the table and settled in his chair, his spine resting against the back.

“You are delusional. I don’t like you” you slammed the textbook so loud people around you looked up from their work. “Sorry” you looked at them sheepishly and apologized with a small nod of the head. He managed to get you so wrapped up that you forgot you were in the library.

“I did not say anything about you liking me” he quirked an eyebrow with interest. 

You did not have a comeback so you settled for the next response that came to your head. “Stop it”

Jimin let out a small laugh, and shook his head. “That’s very cute” 

“Will you stop for fucks sake? Why are you acting this way” you frowned at him, aware of why he was acting that way but his behavior was so frustrating that you had to ask. 

“Because…” he paused, as if for dramatic effect. “I li…” he paused again with the tiniest hint of a smirk at the corner of his lips. He let a few seconds pass before he closed his mouth. “Nothing” he lowered his head with a small shake and a soft chuckle. 

“You-you..you” your cheeks grew hotter by the second. “Park Jimin you are the worst person ever” you stood up, grabbed your book and your backpack that was slung haphazardly across the back of the chair. 

He did the same as he saw you and quickly gathered his belongings. While he was doing that you took the chance and walked away before he could join you. Because God knows it was the last thing you wanted.You had not even crossed the doors of the library when he fell into step beside you. 

“Stop following me” you quipped, looking straight in front of you. Once more you could feel the beating of your heart in your ears as a rhythmic vibration which had become a common occurrence lately in Jimin’s presence. 

“I am not following you y/n. I am right beside you, not behind you” he answered in an innocent tone, full well knowing your statement was not literal. 

Abruptly stopping in the middle of the hallway, you turned to face him. “I’ll ask you once again. Why are you acting so weirdly?” 

“Once again I’ll answer. It’s not weird” 

“Ughhh” you sighed and looked heavenward. “Why are you so hell-bent on complicating everything? Why can’t you just let it go”

“Let what go?” 

“I can’t let you burn me. I can’t allow you to… to make me feel as if I have no control over anything. So, stop complicating things” you replied curtly. 

Jimin scoffed. “You’re actually putting this on me? Do you think I like any of this? I fucking hate it. So don’t tell me I am the one complicating things. Why don’t you grow a spine and face your feelings?”his relaxed demeanour morphing into a more tense manner. He couldn’t understand why you couldn’t see how much he was trying and willing to be someone he was terrified of being. And all because of you. Why couldn’t you understand how absolutely terrified he was. Why could you not see past his facade and know that simple fact. 

“Yes! You are. You do things and you say things that.- ” you looked at him with an unflinching gaze and felt a wave of anger overcoming you. “It’s all because of you. We were fine weren’t we? Just the way we were was good. Why did you have to go and ruin things? Why do you have to make me feel as if-”  you sighed in frustration because you couldn’t explain to him what he makes you feel.

 Everything was so complicated. It was all so frustrating and Jimin acting like nothing was wrong, pissed you off even more. Everything was wrong. You had one unspoken rule in between you and now it was a remnant of the past. It unsettled and unnerved you. 

Jimin’s jaw clenched. “Don’t look at me the way you do then. Don’t look at me as if I matter to you. Don’t look at me like I am the only person in the room that you care about. Don’t look me in the eyes for more than a second and then blame me for making you fall” 

His words were followed by nothing but the chatter of people passing you by in the hall as both of you stared at each other. What could you possibly say to that? Because you did look at him as if he mattered. You did make the mistake ; not once, or twice. But you did it countless times without even realizing it. As much as you hated to admit it, he was right. He could never force your feelings even if he tried. You did it all on your own and now you can’t deal with it. 

“W-what?” you gaped at him.

“You still can’t see past your own stubbornness can you?” he snapped, nostrils flaring, chest heaving with effort. 

Your eyes widened and you gawked at him in shock, “You’re calling me self-centered?” 

“You are! That’s all you are. From the beginning to now. Do you have any clue how hard it was for me to say what I told you? I mean for fucks sake I was prepared to hate you for the rest of my life. The minuscule possibility of anything other than that was not even a concern for me because I was never going to allow myself to feel anything else. But…” his chest heaved with effort and he swallowed hard. 

“But, what?” 

“But all you can think about is yourself y/n. We are nothing but fools for you! You let me kiss you and I thought it meant something” he gulped, trying to make the tightness in his throat go away. 

“It-” you started

“Don’t fucking try to deny that you didn’t feel anything. But then you let Hoseok kiss you and didn’t even hesitate. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What am I supposed to think? You’ve played both me and Hoseok for fools.” 

“Are you serious right now? What the fuck do you mean I played you both like fools!” your voice rose to a shout.

Jimin’s nostrils flared and he scowled at you. “You know exactly what I mean!”. You noticed his eyes getting glossy, and a shine overcoming them. 

“Well fuck you then. We’re done here” your voice shook but you swallowed the growing tightness in your throat. 

“I think that would be best. Make up for you fucking mind y/n” his tone lowered and he shook his head. 

“Don’t you dare say that to me Park Jimin” you stepped towards him. “Don’t you fucking dare. Who the fuck was it that brought Bethany to the party. Do you think I am stupid? Don’t put all this on me because you can’t deal with your feelings” your voice quivered once more, and you bit your lip to stop yourself from letting out a sob you had been trying to choke back. 

He took a step towards you. “Tell me that on the day you figure out how to deal with your feelings” Jimin’s lip quivered. 

“You spoiled everything Jimin! I wish I had never met you. I wish I had never kissed you because it was the single worst mistake of my life.” you spat harshly. Finally the tears fell slowly. 

Jimin’s expression faltered as the frown from his face disappeared. “I wish I had never met you either” he replied through clenched teeth and the tears he had been trying to hold back slid down his cheeks.

It broke your heart. 

It broke his heart. 

Turning away from each other you went your separate ways. 

///

Your whole room was a pile of tissues and nothing else. Your nose was dry and it hurt to even touch it but the tears wouldn’t stop falling. You felt restless. There was a weird itch somewhere deep inside you which made it unable for you to focus. You couldn’t sit, nor stand. You couldn’t sleep or eat. Even when you tried to talk, you couldn’t get more than a single word out because you just felt so angry. 

Your whole body felt as if it was on edge. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. If you sat down, you wanted to stand. If you stood you wanted to lie. If you laid down, you wanted to walk around. If even for a second you felt drowsy, your stomach would tighten and all intent and desire to sleep would vanish. You did not know what to do with your hands, or the rest of your body. You really wanted to punch something. Maybe even break a few plates and cups, or scream at the top of your lungs until you lose your voice. 

Grabbing the pillow  next to you, you held it against against your face and screamed. 

“I hate you Park Jimin. I fucking hate you so much” you pulled the pillow away and sighed, hoping that with one breath all the tiredness, pain and suffering would end. But that is not how it works. Unfortunately. 

“Stupid fucking feelings” you muttered cradling your head in your hands. 

Self-blaming was a specialty of yours so naturally, you blamed a part of it on yourself because you shouldn’t even have talked to him. After that night at the party where you kissed him, you should have just distanced yourself. But you didn’t. You hated that you allowed yourself to feel something and couldn’t back off. 

How in the world could he think you were playing him and Hoseok? How was it so easy for him to put everything on you, as if he hadn’t complicated things on his end? 

The door to your room opened and Taehyung peeked his head inside. “Oh y/n” he sighed at your disheveled state. Opening the door wider he entered your room. 

“Why do you guys fight when you can’t handle the aftermath?” he shook his head as he approached you. 

“What?” you sniffled, wiping your nose with a tissue you picked up from the box next to you.

“I just met Jimin” Taehyung sat down beside you, against the headboard of your bed. 

Even after everything, a small part of you wanted to ask how he was doing. Why was it that despite being hurt a tiny part of you still felt compelled to look after his well being?

“He’s the same” Taehyung turned to look at you. “If not worse”

“I don’t care” you croaked. “He deserves to be” you felt contempt, and a lot of it. 

“I heard what happened” Taehyung stated with a soft voice. 

You felt his eyes on you, but refrained from making eye contact. What could he do? How could he possibly fix it? Hell, you didn’t even want anything fixed. At this point you wanted Park Jimin to be a distant memory. 

“I’ve never seen him cry you know?” Taehyung stared at you silently. 

“Are you trying to advocate for him right now?” you scoffed, feeling disappointed. 

“No!” Taehyung raised his hands in the air. “Not at all. He said something he shouldn’t have said. I get it. You’re angry at him. You have every right to be. But to be fair to both of you, it has been confusing. Neither of you know how to deal with your feelings” 

“I have no feelings towards him. I hate that guy” you bit through your teeth. 

Taehyung’s lips pressed into a thin line and his nose scrunched. “Right now he kinda hates you too” 

“Good. Because that’s how it’s supposed to be” you replied without hesitation. 

You heard Taehyung sighing next to you. “You have both put me in a very awkward position” 

“Trust me Tae. The position you are in is way better than the one I am in. It fucking sucks” you cradled your head in your hands.

“I know y/n. I am sorry” he gently patted your back. 

 “I don’t know what to do. I just want to slap Jimin. Honestly. He’s fucked everything up. Again. I can’t do this anymore. It’s not like I wanted any of it to happen. I was perfectly fucking content hating him. But no. He just had to go and ruin it. He’s ruined everything” you felt the tears welling up in you eyes again and tried to blink them away. 

“Just listening to you is making me feel frustrated” Taehyung chuckled softly. “If you like each other, then just forget everything else” 

“I don’t like him! besides after what he said to me, I am never going to feel anything for him ever again. The fact that I did feel something is a tragedy in and of itself” 

“It’s not that easy, bunny. This is your anger talking. Not you. We can’t control our feelings anymore than we can control our lives” his lips curved into a small sympathetic smile. 

Fuck feelings” you choked. “Fuck everything” you wiped your eyes using the back of your hand. 

Taehyung studied you silently and then he forced himself to lighten his expression with a smile. He hated seeing you sad and didn’t want to dwell on the same topic for too long knowing it would only add to your frustration.“But not ice cream!” he exclaimed with excitement as the smile stretched across his lips and reached his eyes, making the corners crinkle. 

“What?” 

“You’re sad and Jimin is sad. So naturally I feel sad too because two of my closest friends are hurt. So, lets just wallow in our misery and throw a pity-party” he pushed himself off the floor and stood up. Reaching out a hand towards you, he waited in silence. 

You looked up at him and felt thankful. For the first time in two days, your body felt lighter. Just seeing your best friend smile was enough to give you energy. So you slide your hand into his and he helped you up. 

///

You and Taehyung spent hours sitting on the couch and eating all the junk food items you could find. Sure, it felt gross and you were nauseated but there was a sense of satisfaction. You looked around and noticed there were so many tubs of ice cream, chocolate wrappers, cans of soda and wondered for a second how you managed to eat half of all that. 

Taehyung was still eating ice cream next to you. You grinned looking at him. “Thank you Tae” 

“Hmm? What?” he slowly turned his gaze away from the TV and towards you. 

“I said thank you” 

“Of course” Taehyung put down the tub of ice cream and grabbed you in a headlock and ruffled your hair but not without planting a kiss on your head. 

“Let go!” you slapped at his arm that was wrapped around your neck. 

“I love you, you crazy girl” Tae ruffled your hair once more before letting you go. 

“I wish I could say the same” you replied in a raspy voice followed by a cough. 

Taehyung laughed. “You’re crazy” 

It was silent as you both settled back and watch Star Wars, giving your complete attention to the movie. Chick flicks are a thing of the past. Now-a-days you get over your sadness by watching action movies. It’s mostly for cathartic reasons. If you can’t actually hurt the person who hurt you, then the least you can do is see other’s fight and vicariously live through it. 

Even though you were watching Star Wars, your mind was still restless. It was definitely better than before because your body didn’t feel on edge, but your mind was still stuck in the same rut. 

You know what I mean!

You could still hear Jimin’s voice in your head. The way he looked at you, the way he let himself be vulnerable enough to let a few tears slide down his face. All of it makes you feel irritated. Somehow he managed to make you feel guilty. So, how can you trust a guy like that? How can you feel anything for someone who doesn’t even show you a shred of respect and thinks you are playing him. 

Will you ever be able to explain to him your feelings?

“Stop thinking” Taehyung’s voice drew you out of reverie. 

“What?” your brows furrowed together in confusion. 

“If you’re just gonna think about him, then talk to him” 

“I am never going to talk to him again Tae. I don’t even want to see his face” your nose screwed up in irritation. 

“Well that’s going to be tough” Taehyung retorted, not exactly making you feel better. 

“Ughhh.. Don’t remind me” you propped your feet on the sofa and brought your knees to your chest. 

Just then your phone rang. 

 Your brows creased and you looked at Taehyung. You showed him your phone and his expression changed to one of confusion as well as he raised his crinkled eyebrows.

“Why is Jungkook calling you?” he questioned

“Like I would know” you replied and placed the phone to your ear. “Hello?” 

At first all you heard were sighs and grunts. The sound of heavy breathing filtered through and you wondered if he pocket dialed you while working out. 

“Bro” you heard Jungkook say through the other end. 

“Kookie?” 

“Oh- uh hey y/n” he sighed heavily. “Sorry. Jimin is fucked up right now” 

“What did he do?” you questioned

“Uhh..” Jeongguk sighed once more. “He got drunk and then he got into a fight. Someone called the police-”

“Police?” you shot up from your seat, heart racing in your chest. 

“It’s alright. I got him out” Jeongguk replied calmly. “The only problem is he won’t go home unless you come” 

“Me?” your heart quickened once more because lord knows you didn’t even want to see Jimin.

“Yeah. We’re outside the police station. He’s still drunk and half asleep yet he keeps asking for you. Please come down here. I am about to lose my mind and I might end up hitting him because he’s being annoying as fuck. Please” Jungkook pleads. 

You shake your head as if he could see you from the other side of the phone. “I can’t Jeongguk”

“Please y/n” the desperation was evident in his voice. “As much as I want to I can’t leave him here. Please. If not for him, then for me. I need your help” 

“Jeongguk” you sighed. After a moment of deliberation you agreed. “Okay. Text me where you are” 

Hanging up you turned to Taehyung. “You really meant it when you said Jimin wasn’t doing well” 

“What do you mean?” Taehyung eyed you curiously. 

“Well your friend got drunk, got into a fight, got hauled to the police station. Don’t worry Jeongguk got him out” you replied noticing Taehyung was about to speak. 

“Okay…” 

“Problem is your friend, won’t leave unless I go there. Jeongguk is seriously desperate. I am going there to help him” you explained to Taehyung who squinted his eyes at you. 

“Are you sure?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Are you sure you’re going there to help Kookie?” 

“Definitely” you nodded, making sure to look Taehyung in the eyes so he doesn’t think you are lying or conflicted. “I am pissed off at Park Jimin. I am not going there for him and honestly at this point I don’t really care for him. I am just going to help Jeongguk because he sounded exceptionally desperate over the phone” 

Taehyung nodded slowly but he didn’t look convinced. 

///

“What’s wrong with him?” you asked Jeongguk, while looking at Jimin who was nodding off. 

“He’s drunk, asleep and injured. But he kept asking for you a while back when he was still awake. Something about how he shouldn’t have been so mean” Jeongguk lips pressed into a thin line in what you assumed to be a sympathetic smile. “But thank you for coming” 

“Of course. I would help you out anytime, any day” the corners of your mouth lifted into a smile. 

“Do you mind grabbing his other arm?” Jeongguk grunted as he grabbed Jimin’s arm and helped his stand up.

You hesitated for a moment. Biting your lip you nodded your head. “S-s-sure” 

You reached for Jimin’s arm but right then the image of the you tangled withhim, his lips on yours, his hands traversing all over your body flashed in your mind. Instantly,your fingers curled into your palm just as you were about to touch him. Gulping away the tightness in your throat, you grasped Jimin’s arm and steadied him on his feet. With Jimin secured between you and Jeongguk you began walking. 

The sounds of your shuffling feet against the rough gravel, and the whistling of wind through surrounding trees was all that could be heard as you and Jeongguk stayed mum. Every now and then you could feel him glancing at you and somehow you just knew that he knew about your fight with Jimin. 

At one point you both ended up looking at each other at the same time and then awkwardly looking away with nervous laughter. 

“I am sorry y/n” he spoke softly, adjusting Jimin’s arm around the back of his shoulders. 

“Why?” 

“Because I know how hard it must be for you coming here and having to see him” he motioned his head at Jimin who was mumbling something that you couldn’t care less about. 

“Thank you for saying that” you offered him a tight lipped smile. 

“He was wrong to say what he said to you” Jeongguk continued and you wished he would drop it because being reminded of it left pangs of pain in your chest. 

“Yeah he was and I am glad you see it that way too” 

“Having said that, he’s also sorry. You didn’t see him y/n” Jeongguk peaked at you from behind Jimin’s head. “He was devastated if nothing more.I found him at the gym punching away at a sandbag until his knuckles bled. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen” Jeongguk paused. 

Somehow you were having trouble imagining a vulnerable Jimin. 

“Then despite me threatening to punch him out he went to a bar, got drunk and got into a fight with some dudes over a parking spot. He didn’t even fucking drive to the damn bar and he knew what he was doing. Because when I tried to stop him, he told me he deserves to be hit”  you glanced at Jimin’s hand which was hanging off your shoulder. It was bruised and blue. 

You didn’t know what to think or say because it sounded so unlike Jimin. 

“He doesn’t know how to express his feelings. He’s never been good at it. When he doesn’t know how to deal with something, he lashes out and says things he doesn’t mean” 

“I am pretty sure he meant it” you looked at Jeongguk straight faced because you did believe he meant it. 

Jeongguk shook his head. “I’ve known him longer than you. He didn’t” 

“Fine. Let’s say he didn’t. That doesn’t make it hurt any less” 

“I know this doesn’t make you feel better but I just wanted you to know that he did feel bad. Despite everything he has done in the past and now, he’s a good guy” Jeongguk pressed his lips together in a half-hearted smile. 

“Not to me” you whispered, his words bringing back the pang of disappointment and hurt in your chest. “Just out of curiosity, why are you telling me all this?” 

“Because I know that if Jimin was conscious he would say the same thing to you” 

You didn’t say anything but concentrated on supporting Jimin because you were starting to feel tired as all three of you stumbled. Thankfully, you didn’t have to walk far enough because his apartment was nearby. Jeongguk punched in the code for Jimin’s apartment and the door opened. You carried him through the elevator and up to the seventh floor. 

You didn’t have much time nor interest to look around his apartment. Jeongguk laid him down on the couch and ran off somewhere leaving the two of you alone. 

“Do you want water?” you heard Jeongguk calling. 

“No! I am good. Thank you!” you yelled back. You noticed that Jimin was nodding off again and couldn’t help but notice the gash on his forehead, his split lip, and bruises around his eye. 

Just how much is going to mess things up for himself?

The shuffling of feet against the marble floor alerted you that Jeongguk was coming so you quickly looked away from Jimin and slide your hands in your jacket pockets. He sat Jimin up and flicked some water on his face which made him perk up a bit. 

“Drink this” he put the rim of a glass containing some kind of green juice to his lips. 

Jimin flinched as the liquid touched his mouth. You stood and watched as he gulped it down and by the end he was coughing. Jeongguk patted his back. “Good man” hethen left again leaving you alone with Jimin, who was in a groggy state and still reeling from the taste of whatever Jeongguk gave him. 

As if he realized someone was standing over him he looked up. “Y/n?” he croaked, massaging his throat. 

 “I am leaving!” you called to Jeongguk. But he didn’t respond so you took that as your cue to leave and turned on your heels and headed towards the front door.

“Wait!” you heard Jimin. 

“I have nothing to say to you” you didn’t turn around. 

“ I am sorry” he said. He didn’t even sound sorry in the least bit. 

You turned around. “Say that to me when you really mean it” you scoffed. 

Jimin didn’t respond. He just looked at you and hung his head low. “I didn’t mean what I said” 

“Yes you did” 

He sighed and folded his arms across his chest. “I know you think I did. But I didn’t. I was just pissed” 

You chuckled bitterly. “Don’t talk to me about pissed, man. Let’s not talk about it. We’ll end up arguing again. I can’t deal with any more. It’s too much” 

“Yeah” he whispered. “Me too”. 

“Good. Because I don’t want to talk right now” you replied shortly.

You gave a curt nod, and made good on your word to leave because the universe knows that you want nothing from Jimin. Not even an apology. 

///

Jimin hadn’t come to any classes for the past three days. A sense of relief washed over you the first day you did not see him. But sure enough his fan club wasn’t very pleased with him not showing up. 

“Where is he?” one of the girls in first year whined to her friends and they all responded with solemn expressions. 

You rolled your eyes as you walked by them. Not having him around made the tight knot in your stomach and throat go away. It finally felt like you could breathe. You were still very angry at him, and you were thankful that he wasn’t there because another argument would be guaranteed if he showed up. 

On the first day after your fight you went about your life, trying to erase every trace of Park Jimin from your life. You stayed away from the gym because it would remind you of him. You stayed away from the basketball court and actively took measures to avoid running into any of his teammates. You avoided the library because you spent time with him there and it was the last place you wanted to be because just thinking about it brought memories of the argument back. You even skipped going to Monet’s with Taehyung because that is where you first realized this complicated thing called “feelings” between you and Jimin. You also skipped going to the soccer field to cheer on Hoseok for a friendly game with a rival college because it also reminded you of Jimin.  

On the second day of Jimin’s absence you spent most of your time in the student lounge studying and working on assignments. You ended up making friends with an exchange student and showed him around town. It was a perfect day, away from college, away from people who were associated with Jimin. You went to karaoke with your new friend Jaden, and had a blast belting out one song after another. Following the past few stressful months, this was the release you needed. Your body felt so light, and you could feel the endorphins having a positive effect because you felt a surge of energy and happiness. 

The third day brought about a whole day of classes devoid of Jimin which was perfect because you had no distractions. For once in months, you could finally concentrate on your lectures and managed to understand whatever was being taught. That felt like such a huge accomplishment that the rest of the day you had a skip to your step, and a huge smile on your face. Not to mention you ended up acing the in class quiz after the lecture which also helped elevate your mood. After having one failure in your life after another, one drama after another, doing well on a quiz provided you with a sense of self-satisfaction which you realized you had forgotten the feeling of. 

“Wow, you’ve got a glow” Yoongi offered you his usual gummy smile. 

“I aced the quiz and I finally after months was able to attend a lecture properly with full focus” you returned his smile and sat down across him on the cafeteria table. 

“Good for you!” he nodded. “Listen, Valentine's day is coming up-” 

“Ughhh. No. Whatever you are about to ask me, my answer is no” you shook your head vigorously. It was such a pointless occasion, you still couldn’t understand why half the world obsessed over it. 

“Chill. We were thinking of hosting a spring dance but a Valentines’ day theme and I wanted to ask if you would be kind enough to grab the decorations from the old art studio. Also, I wanted to know if you would come to the dance” 

“Fine” you sighed. 

“So you’ll come?” Yoongi looked at you with anticipation

“I meant fine that I will get you the docrations. But, no. I won’t come. No offense but I have a very different opinion about this “holiday” compared to other people. So, no” 

“I am not a fan either but we haven’t had a fun event in the months after that camping trip we took. Kind of feels dry so one of the student council members suggested we do this to bring up everyone’s spirits” Yoongi eyed you. 

“Yeah” you shrugged. “Do it. But don’t count on me. I am going to stay home and relax” you stretched your arms in front of yourself, feeling the tiredness finally leaving you. 

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “So much for school spirit” 

“I don’t have any” you replied coolly. 

///

The fourth day, Park Jimin showed up which was announced by the screams of first year girls. Your heart sank into your chest as you watched him approach your direction. You clutched the book tighter around your chest, knuckles turning white around the binding. Your eyes met, and no matter how much you wanted to look away you couldn’t. The closer he came, you noticed the small cut on the corner of his upper lip, and a small gash on his forehead partly hidden by his fringe, looked better than the day he got into the fight.

He didn’t take his eyes off you either. You gulped, noticing the quickening beat of your heart. Despite everything, that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach, under your skin was back. You had hoped it would have gone away but it didn’t as the moment you saw Jimin you started feeling it again. Your throat constricted once more, which happens when you are about to cry. Your stomach twisted, and your breathing fastened. 

He was still coming towards you and you were frozen. As if your feet had been stuck with glue to the floor. The urgency to move grew within the pit of your stomach but your legs wouldn’t move. Jimin was close. 

Move 

Move 

Move 

Just at the right moment you felt a tug to your arm and found yourself looking at Hoseok. You glanced towards Jimin’s direction from the corner of your eyes and noticed him looking at you and Hoseok. 

“Hi Hoseok” you smiled. 

“Long time no see” his cheeks blushed a slight pink colour. 

“Yeah” you avert your gaze down to the floor for a moment and then looked up at him. 

“How have you been?” you question offering a small smile. 

“Busy. I’ve got to start preparing for the upcoming season so I am just headed to practice” the corners of his mouth upturned into a bright grin. 

“No rest for you huh!” you teased. “Well, I won’t keep you from it. Good luck and don’t stress too much about it” 

“Thanks” Hoseok smiled and held out his arms towards you. 

You blinked for a second before realizing he was leaning in for a hug. You let his arms enclose around you and with your free arm patted his back. He tightly squeezed you and lifted you off your feet, immediately making you giggle. He gently set you down and pulled back. “I’ll see you around” 

“See you. Have fun at practice” you nodded and then he pivoted on his heels and strolled away past the crowd of students, and behind Jimin. 

He was still standing at the same spot and he had seen everything. It didn’t matter but you knew it couldn’t mean anything good given past experiences. You let yourself look at him for one more moment before turning the opposite way and vanishing behind the group of first year girls who were whispering, and squealing. 

It shouldn’t have affected you. Seeing him should have been a normal occurrence-- the way you notice other people around you and forget about them-- that’s how it should have been with Jimin. But it wasn’t. It was so much more than that. Before your mind could even react your body had taken over and you felt everything all over again. 

All sense of relief had been washed away the moment you saw him. Your stomach felt tight, and you were sure you were going to lose your appetite again. You did not like it one bit-- the way he was looking at you and Hoseok and you wondered if he would get into another fight with him. 

“Deep breaths” you mumbled to yourself. “Deep breaths” the thought in itself was enough to provoke anxiety. 

You turned a corner and entered the old art studio to look for the decorations that Yoongi had asked you to. You were thankful that for at least a little bit you would have something to distract you. 

The moment you opened the door a gust of dusty wind greeted you, immediately making you cough. The entire studio was filled with old canvases, and boxes containing decorations labeled with different events in the past. Stepping in further you tried to find the light switch, but even as you flicked it up and down the lights did not turn on. So, you opened the door wider to let sunlight filter into the dim room. 

Cautiously, you stepped over a bunch of canvases that had toppled over and made your way to the back of the room which was lined with giant boxes. Scanning through all the rows you found the two labeled “VD” which you assumed meant Valentines day. Standing on your tiptoes you reached an arm up to grab the box which happened to be on the top row. 

Geez. Thanks universe

Groaning and grunting with effort, you tried to extend your arm further but it wouldn’t reach. Looking around you surveyed your surroundings for some kind of a step stool, or even a stable enough box you could step on. But alas, as your luck would have it, there is nothing you can use. Not even a ladder. 

“Just one more fucking thing that won’t go right” you sighed and looked heavenward, silently praying to the man upstaird for some help. 

And help he did send. Just not in the form of something useful like a ladder. 

“Y/n?” 

The familiar voice tugged at your heart, which sank deep into the depths of your stomach as you felt your gut twisting into knots once more. 

“Jimin?” your eyes widened in horror as you whispered to yourself without looking back at him because the whole frickin universe knows you don’t want to. Why is he even here? 

“What are you doing here?” he questioned. 

You heard his footsteps coming closer and had half a mind to run past him, but that would only have been possible if you could clearly see. But there was just enough light to illuminate vague shapes in the darkness. It was a guarantee that if you tried you would trip over something and that would bring its own unnecessary embarrassment. 

You sighed heavily before turning to face him. 

“I could ask you the same” you rolled your eyes, hardly able to believe your fate. But then again everything that has happened so far wasn’t exactly the definition of stellar. 

“Yoongi told me to get decorations for some spring dance or something” he stepped further into the room,blocking the single ray of light coming in through the door and all you could see of him was a dark outline of his body. 

“What? He told me to do that?” your nose scrunched in confusion. “I swear if you are pulling some kind of stunt on me, there is plenty in here that I can kill you with” you threatened as you retreated deeper into the room, accidentally stepping over something hard. Stupid Park Jimin was blocking the light and you didn’t want to say anything because the less you spoke to him the better it would be for both of you. 

“Why would I do that?” you could hear the outrage in his voice. 

“Oh I don’t know” you paused. “Maybe because you have a history of trying to make my life a living hell” Despite that though, something felt off. 

You heard him sigh. He didn’t say anything and you felt glad for it. 

Shaking your head you turned d to face the myriad of boxes staring back at you, two of which were waiting to be taken out so you could deliver them to Yoongi. Although you tried once before, you tried again to reach up to the box but only managed to get your finger tips scratching against the box. It wasn’t enough height to actually grip it. 

“You’ll hurt yourself” you heard Jimin behind you. 

“I’ll do it. So leave. I don’t want to talk to you” you strained as you spoke still trying to reach for the box. 

Thud 

You flinched and turned back around to find that the door had been shut behind Jimin.

“Shit!” you ran for the door, shoving Jimin out of your way and almost knocking him over. “No!” you shook the door as hard as you could to try and open it, but it wouldn’t open. “Hey! We’re in here!!” you yelled as you pounded at the door. “Open it!” 

“It’s pointless. It was Yoongi” Jimin’s statement makes you give up. 

And then it made sense to you. Of course it was Yoongi. But it wasn’t just Yoongi. It was Taehyung and Jeongguk too. You could see Taehyung’s name written all over this. They knew about your fight with Jimin. He would obviously have told Jeongguk, and Taehyung would have informed Yoongi-- because why not your life is a damn drama anyway. 

“Fucking idiots” you groaned as you tried to pry open the door once more by violently pulling at the door handle. 

“Save your breath” you heard Jimin and your immediate reaction was to roll your eyes. 

You were half expecting him to apologize to you by now-- but you should have known better. It’s Jimin, and you should know by now to not have any expectations from him at all. Yet knowing that, you still somehow ended up with expectations. Jimin could never be the man you wanted him to be yet there you were agonizing over him and how you felt about everything. 

Despite everything, the nervous knots in your stomach still lingered behind the anger that was starting to boil over. Your heart somehow still managed to beat frantically against your desperate wishes for it to not. In spite of the frustration, you still felt unnerved, and completely helpless without control over your own mind and body. It served to add to your agitation because what could be more pathetic than feeling all these emotions because of someone you were adamant on hating, yet unable to do so? 

You hated how much control Jimin had over you and yet none at all at the same time. He was right. It wasn’t his fault you felt all these feelings when you were the one who looked at him and built expectations in your head. He never forced you, never asked you to worry for him. Yet you did. So how could you blame him and not yourself when a part of it was of your making? 

A long exasperated sigh left your mouth and as you slid against the floor and fell on your butt.

It was absolutely dark in the room. Whatever light had been coming in was blocked by the closed door. You closed your eyes and rested your head against it, bringing your knees to your chest and just waiting, no clue for what. It was not like you were magically going to get whisked away from the room and away from Jimin although that would have been a very welcome occurrence. 

Then you felt a flash of light causing you to open your eyes.You noticed Jimin had turned on the flashlight from his phone and was walking towards you. There was nowhere else to run towards so you stayed where you were. 

He mirrored your posture and collapsed next to you, leaning against the door as well. 

Neither of you spoke, and you both actively avoided looking at each other. You fiddled with your hands while Jimin tapped his foot on the ground. From the corner of your eyes you could see him biting his nails. 

As if the room wasn’t stuffy enough already, now you were stuck with Jimin and every breath you took seemed to get stuck in your throat. But this was not anything new because feeling suffocated around Jimin was like an occupational hazard. His foot tapping was starting to drive you nuts because it forced you to focus on him and that was the last thing you wanted to do. Not that you could have focused on anything else even if he weren’t sending you a reminder of his presence. 

“Stop it!” you snapped, slapping his knee. 

Immediately he stops but not without sending you a glare. “What the hell?” 

You sighed. “Just shut up” 

“I wasn’t the one that started it” he responded shortly. 

“Fine. I’ll end it then. Let’s not talk” you shook your head. “Unless you will apologize” you mumbled under your breath but not too quietly because you did want him to hear it. 

“How the fuck are we supposed to get out of here if we don’t talk about it?” he turned to face you, his profile illuminated by soft light. 

“I am going to call Yoongi, and tell him that we talked it out and we’re good because I am 99% sure they pulled this stunt because they wanted us to talk about whatever happened” you pulled out your phone and were in the midst of dialling Yoongi’s number when Jimin grasped your wrist and pushed your hand down to  prevent you from calling. 

“But we haven’t talked” 

“They don’t need to know it. Just put on those awesome acting skills of yours to use and we’ll pretend we’re good” you wrested your wrist out of his grasp. 

“Stubborn as always, Jesus” he shook his head and sighed in what sounded like disappointment. 

It worked it gaining your attention because you put your phone away. “Do you really think I want to talk to you after you basically implied I am some kind of two timing slut?” 

“That’s not what I meant!” Jimin immediately defends himself. 

“Sounded exactly like that” you squinted your eyes at him and glared.

“It wasn’t” he matched your gaze. 

But he still did not apologize. 

“Wow. You just can’t admit you are wrong can you?” the anger you were feeling bubbled over in your voice 

“Fine! I shouldn’t have said that. I was wrong!” he throws his hands in the air. 

“Great! Thanks. That totally sounds like a sincere apology” you stood up and dusted your jeans. You dialled Yoongi’s phone once again. 

“Y/n” came Yoongi’s voice. 

“Get us out of here” you said curtly, losing patience by the second. 

“Did you guys talk?” he questioned sounding thoroughly unconvinced. 

“We did. He apologized. I forgave him. We’re good and please don’t expect anything else” 

“I know better than that with you two” he chuckled. “Fine we’re on our way” 

You hung up. Great. There is more waiting around yet. Jimin was still sitting on the ground with his head between his knees. You glanced down at him and couldn’t help but roll your eyes. How could he not be sincere about it? Your hand clenched into a fist the more you dwelled on it and you raised it in the air to hit him when he lifted his head. You quickly put your hand by your side, planted your face against the door and pretended as if you were looking outside. 

He stood up, dusted his clothes off. “Y/n-’

“Nope” you craned your neck further against the door as if it would help. The only thing that would do was give you a neck cramp. 

“Fine. Fuck it” he snapped. 

Your brows creased in confusion at his reaction and you turned to face him. “Seriously?” you scoffed. “How can you-” 

The door opened and gust of wind blew through your hair. 

“Ah there you guys are” Yoongi appeared in your line of sight as you blinked multiple times to adjust to the light. “Still alive” he chuckled. 

“Can’t say the same for you” you slapped him on the arm. Hard. 

“Ow!” he rubbed the spot where you hit him. 

“Yay! You didn’t kill each other” Taehyung stepped out from behind Yoongi, offering you an awkward smile. 

“I am going to kill you” you glared at him and he averted his gaze.Jeongguk peeked in from behind the other door and offered a sheepish smile. “You too” you glared at him and he too looked away. 

You shoved past all three of them, hearing small groans and mumbles of complaints as you left. 

///

After the incident with Jimin and you being locked in the same room, you decided it was best to go home and rest. You did not have any other classes, and besides you felt too angry to want to talk to Yoongi, Jeongguk, and Taehyung. How could they do you like that? Taehyung especially knew how you felt about it, so how could he even think that you would be okay with something like that? 

You knew the moment your eyes started growing heavy, you had been pushed past your limit. So, after multiple sleepless nights you let the drowsiness engulf you and drown you in a deep sleep. 

A loud obnoxious knock on the door awoke you from your peaceful nap. Finally after so many days you had no afternoon class because the professor was sick and Taehyung also wasn’t home. But it seemed even a few hours of peace were not in your kismet. You stretched your arms over your head and groggily stood up, dragging your feet towards the door. 

You opened the it in your half asleep state and- “Jimin?” 

You were awake. Completely alert and awake. 

He shoved past you and inside. 

“What the-” you followed behind him. “I didn’t say you could come in” 

He was already sitting on the couch. “I know. Sit” he motioned to the spot next to him. 

“Why are you here?” you folded your arms defensively 

“To apologize” he sighed. “Sit” he said sternly, not removing his gaze from you. 

You didn’t want to give in so you dug your heels into the ground and stared back with a blank expression. 

Jimin pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Always so fucking stubborn”. He looked up at you again. “Sit down” 

“Doesn’t seem to me that you are here to apologize” you snapped tapping your foot on the ground. 

“Not until you sit down” he insisted. “Look. I am not here to fight or pick an argument with you. So please sit down” 

You regarded him in silence. He was just staring at you with conviction in his eyes. His gaze was unflinching. 

1 second

2 seconds

3 seconds

4 seconds

“Oh for fucks sake, sit down y/n” Jimin yelled making you flinch. 

“Stop yelling!” you matched the loudness of his voice after composing yourself. “And no, I don’t want to sit. I don’t want to talk about anything” you turned on your heels and headed towards the door. You turned the handle and just as you were about to open the door, it shut with a loud thud making you flinch. 

You felt a tug at your arm. 

“What are you doing!?” you pressed hard against his chest using your palms, but he did not budge. “Let me go!” you yelled just as his hands enclosed around your wrists and he pinned you against the door. He was holding your wrists against his chest as he pressed you further against the door. 

It was too close for comfort. 

“No. I won’t. You have to listen to me” 

“I don’t want to” you tried to wrest your hands from his grasp but his hands only tightened around your wrists in response. “Jimin, it’s hurting” 

“Good. Because I am hurting too. Why the fuck wont you just listen to me?!” he snapped. 

“Because!” you yelled. “Because I know what it will lead to and I don’t want that to come” your vision grew misty because of tears. 

“Why!” he pulled you towards himself, your hands still pressed against his chest.

“I don’t know. I am just scared. I am terrified of this Jimin. Don’t you see?” you swallowed hard to choke back a sob. 

“Yeah. Like it’s so easy for me right?” his eyes searched yours for any kind of indication that you understood. “You do not understand how frustrating this is for me” 

“I don’t understand? I can’t do anything Jimin! I can’t even sleep. I feel suffocated all the time and there is this tightness in my stomach that I am always trying to get rid of. Are you happy that you have created a mess out of me?” you glared at him feeling the heat rising in your body.

He scoffed. “I have never met anyone in my life who could destroy me so gently in the way that you have. I meant it when I said I was prepared to hate you forever. I was. I never thought I could feel anything other than dislike for you. But something changed. I know you don’t like talking about this but hear me out” he said when he noticed you were going to speak. He let go of your wrists and leaned in while placing both his hands on either side of you, effectively trapping you between himself and the door.

“These past few months have been the most frustrating, agonizing, and painful months of my life. I didn’t want my feelings to change. God knows, I tried. I tried so hard to make them go away. I tried to distract myself with girls to get away from my feelings. I know you are aware of why I brought Bethany to the party. Y/n, you have to know how unbearably difficult this is for me.I am absolutely terrified every time I am around you” he chuckled to himself. 

“Right now, I can’t even breathe because you are in front of me. My heart is going crazy in here” he pointed to his chest, eyes never wavering away from yours. “All I can hear are the vibrations of my heart beating so loud that I feel like I’ll have a heart attack. I am barely able to hear myself. You do something to me. Every single time I am near you, I just forget who and what I am supposed to be” 

“Jimin-”

“No” he shook his head. “I need you to know this. You and Hoseok, I don’t know what your dynamic is. I don’t know what you feel for him. It makes me jealous seeing you with him because I know what he feels for you” he cleared his throat because his voice quivered. “And because I know what he feels for you, I am terrified” 

“Why?” you asked, despite not wanting to interrupt him because you needed to understand this part of him if you ever wanted to truly understand the depth and complexity of his feelings. 

“Because I don’t want you to like him. Because he’s a better man than I am and a hundred times more deserving of you. Because I know you will be happier with him. Because at the end of the day I know you could do better than me. But the saddest part is I can’t do better than you and I know it. There’s you and then there’s nothing” he paused, trying to collect his thoughts. 

“It’s incredibly selfish of me to want you. I’ve spent my whole life trying to get rid of the empty feeling inside of me. Most of the fucked up things I have done in my life; booze, smoking, mindless sex-- it’s all because I had never truly felt anything. But then you happened and all of a sudden I felt the whole fucking spectrum of emotions. This isn’t an excuse for my past behaviour in any way. But it’s true” he bit his lip and let go of your wrists.

Dumfounded, all you could do was stare at him. “I-I didn’t know…” you trailed off unable to find the right words to say. Every single word of his hit you like a ton of bricks. You never thought he was capable of feeling so much because he always put on his don’t-give-a-shit- act on. 

He laughed softly. “You couldn’t have. I suck at showing my feelings. I don’t know what to do with myself when I am around you. I guess that’s why I do stupid shit” 

Silence followed Jimin’s words as both of you avoided looking at each other. Being this vulnerable with each other was not exactly something you were comfortable with.

“I am not playing you or Hoseok for fools” you said in a quiet tone which made Jimin look up at you. 

“Y/n-” 

“No. Let me finish. I don’t know what I feel for you. But Hoseok is just a friend. I don’t have any feelings for him. Yes he’s a very nice guy, but he’s not the right one for me because if he was I would already like him. But I don’t. Not in that sense. Being around you is suffocating for me too. You-” you chuckle to yourself. “You make me feel things no one has before. The night we kissed, I had never felt that way before. But whatever this is between us, it won’t work” you shake your head. 

“You’re right. It won’t because you have already made up your mind. I am sick of trying to be better so that I can feel like I deserve you. But you won’t even give me a chance” 

“What would change if I did? Hmm?” 

“Everything” he whispered, his eyes conveying desperation that you were feeling too. 

“What then?” you shrugged. 

He looked at you, trying his best to understand what you were feeling. But he couldn’t. 

“What are you scared of?” 

“You” you whispered. “ How do I trust you? How do I trust that you won’t hurt me?” 

“I won’t” his hands moved from beside you, to cup your cheeks. “I won’t” he whispered as he left a feather light peck on your forehead. You eyes closed instinctively, and your hands clenched into fists beside you. 

He pulled back to look at you. “It’s always been about you y/n. All of it”

You opened your eyes to look up at him. “Then prove it to me” 

“I promise I will” he replied.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Don’t forget to like or reblog if you enjoyed reading this! Feedback is welcome as always. Thank you for taking the time to read :)

[sero-sphere]

Fucked Up Love ‘Triangle’

so, i started working on this thing back in april ( hence bakugous birthday and the cherry blossoms ) it just took me a while to edit it. srry

anyways, this is like so self indulgent but w.e, still figured id share!

(f reader x kami x sero, seroxmina) it aint a threesome tho

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Slight angst, finger banging, weed, idk im bad at tagging (also were saying everyone is aged up so y’all can relax. like you were so innocent in h.s)

You were currently huddled up on the hammock with your favorite blanket, as Kaminari gently pushed you back and forth. There was music playing in the background, and a video game that had long been forgotten still displayed on the T.V. It was Friday night, and as usual, you and your friends were all in Seros room smoking together. Bakugou, and Kirishima had already retired to their rooms for the night, so it left just you, Kaminari, Sero, and Mina. The relaxing atmosphere was abruptly interrupted by Mina, who jumped up and startled everyone.

"BITCH, don't forget we’re getting our nails done tomorrow! I'm going to head back to take off my nail polish so it’s easier for them. They always claim they don’t charge extra for that, but I swear I think they do.”

"Ok! Text me!!! I probably will need a wakeup call after tonight!"

"Oh, I bet you will!" Kaminari said with a giggle. 

 "Hush, I'll see you tomorrow cutie!" You said to Mina with a wink. You couldn’t even bat an eyelash before she was skipping down the hall, off to her room for the night.

 "Why don’t you call me cutie?" Kaminari said as he got off from his position on the floor, and motioned for Sero to slide over, so he could claim Mina’s old spot on the bed.

"Because dipshit seems to suit you…"

 "Well she’s not wrong" Sero added, laughing just as hard as you were.

 Kaminari leaned back and sighed. “Whatever, I won’t be such a dipshit after my next study sesh with Yaoyorozu….when was that again?”

 “Tomorrow morning……she literally just texted you like an hour ago to make sure you wouldn’t forget? You’re not helping your case man.” Sero replied as he lit up another blunt and passed it to Kaminari.

 “Oh fuck! You’re right dude. I’m good for tonight I guess, I should head back so that way I don’t oversleep tomorrow…I might not make it in time for tea.” Kaminari was sporting his best puppy dog eyes, and pout. He motioned for you to sit down on the bed, and take his spot. He took one last hit, before he passed it to you and left, ( peering around the corner for Aizawa first ) heading to his room for the night, leaving just you, and Sero behind. 

You were seated over by him on the bed at this point passing the blunt back and forth. Both of you completely zoned out in your own little worlds. Sero leaned over to grab his water that was on the floor beside you. At first you didn’t really notice how close he was, but as he leaned over you again to put it back, his eyes caught yours. His face was so close, moving closer and closer, until it was like the two of you were moving in slow motion. Your body was just moving on its own at this point, and the next thing you knew you were in the middle of a heated makeout session. His hands started to caress your thighs, and you could feel the ever growing situation happening between his legs, his jeans were growing tighter and tighter. Your mouths were still too preoccupied to speak, and your hands still wandered up and down his body. Your fingers moved from underneath his shirt, back towards the straining bulge in his pants. You felt as his fingers moved your panties to the side, and he started to stroke you.

“You’re already so wet….is this ok?”

 You barely managed to mumble back that yes, it was indeed ok, before his mouth was on you again, kissing your neck ever so slowly. You couldn’t tell if it was the weed, or if Sero was really that skilled because not too soon after he got to work, you could feel your body start to tense in pleasure. After you reached your peak you pulled away to speak.

“Thank you Sero…let me…” You reached for the zipper to his jeans when you were both interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Y/N, it's past curfew and I can already smell what you guys have been doing. Go to your room for the night please, and next time you want to indulge in these types of activities, make sure it’s after I've already made my rounds. I’m giving you both the benefit of the doubt by not expelling you.” 

 ------

The next morning you groaned as you heard your phone ringing. You forgot you told Mina you needed a wakeup call.

"Hey. Cutie...dream about me?" You answered as you rolled out of bed to get ready.

"Heh, maybe, you dream about me?"

Your eyes widened, and you pulled your phone away to make sure you heard correctly. The voice on the other end was definitely not Mina. 

"What...Kaminari?"

"Yeah! I figured I'd call and wake you up. You and Mina have a thing and I didn’t want you to oversleep...."

"Thanks! I’m glad you called. I’m assuming you got up in time to study today?" 

"Yup, bright and early! Oh, and Sero told me what happened last night, you got lucky… "

“Wait Sero told you what happened last night?” You were definitely confused. You hadn’t even had a chance to talk to him about it yet and he had already told Kaminari? With your luck the whole class knew by now.

“Yeah, he said you ended up staying for a while, and Aizwawa caught you two smoking while he was making his rounds.”

You were relieved, maybe he didn’t say anything about it after all. You decided to ask just to be sure. “Oh, yeah…that’s all he said?”

Kaminari giggled. “Mhmm, guess we’ll just have to make sure we have Bakubro’s birthday thing a little later tonight.”

"Oh fuck. I completely forgot about his birthday!"

“Well, I didn’t get him anything yet either. Wanna come with me after you have your nails done with Mina? We can get some ice cream from that place you like on the way back?”

"Are you trying to ask me out on a date Kaminari?"

“Maybe…”

 “Took you long enough...”

 ---

By the time you had made your way down stairs after getting ready Mina was already waiting for you.

“Jeez took you forever!” She gave you a once over before she licked her lips and chirped “Wow, you look cute, whose is all that for?” You shot her a look and bumped your hip into hers, as she grasped your arms, and you both made your way out of the dorms.

“Yeah, I uh…. I'm going out with Kaminari after this, I'm a shit friend and forgot it was Bakugous birthday.” She knew just by your lack of eye contact something more was up.

She decided to test the waters. “So Kaminari huh? I knew you liked him, you were low-key jealous when he asked Ibara out at the sports festival.”

“Uhm, I was not!!” By the blush on your cheeks you both knew you were full of shit. “But in the meantime I have a lot to tell you about last night…..”

“Oh yeah, I heard that Aizawa caught you and Sero. You’re lucky you’re not expelled, girl.”

 “Yeah. Well about that……”

You explained everything that had happened to Mina on your walk to the salon. There was a lot to tell. You were so confused. You really had never thought of Sero that way before. Honestly, you really did have a huge crush on Kaminari, but you were sick of him never asking you out. He would flirt with everyone all the time, you were no different, but he never actually asked you out before. You figured there was no way he actually meant it this time. You weren’t sure if it was all just a joke to him. 

Sero was hot adamantly, and clearly you didn’t regret what happened between the two of you, it was just that, even after all that, you still didn’t think you liked him...at least not in a romantic sort of way.

“I think I was just horny more than anything else..” 

Mina laughed. “Yeah, Seros weed has a tendency to do that. That’s how Bakugou and Kirishima finally got together after all…”

 ---

 You and Mina arrived back at the dorms just in time for Kaminaris' study session to be over. Mina caught you as you licked your lips, watching as Denki winked and headed over to greet you.

“Oh, girl, you got it bad...I'll leave you too it..”

“Mina, I swear I'm never going to tell you anything again!”

--

Your ‘date’ with Kaminari went well. He walked you to a nearby shopping center, stopping for drinks along the way, and you both successfully managed to find Bakugou something he wouldn't blow up. On the walk back, Kaminari insisted you both take the long route, which ended up being the best choice. It lead straight through a park where you just so happened to catch the last of the blooming cherry blossom trees.

“Oh, Kami! I’ve never seen the cherry blossoms before...this is amazing!!”

“I told you the extra mile would be worth it!”

With him paying for your drink, and the walk through the park, it was actually starting to feel like a real date. Before you got your hopes up, you decided to ask him. You wanted things to be cleared up between the two of you, so you could then figure out the whole Sero thing.

“Uhm, Kami...is this like…. a real date? I know you said it was, but I didn't know if you were joking or not…”

“I know I joke around alot, but this is real...I mean, it's real to me! Why would you think it wasn't?”

“I dont know, you've just never asked me out before...you've asked plenty of girls...just not me…”

“Yeah, I get it. With them it was easy… I didn't really care if they said no or not...with you, I was nervous….”

So Kaminari did indeed ask you on a real date? You tried to push the whole Sero thing to the back of your brain and forget about it for the time being. You were having a great time with your longtime crush and didn’t want to face the aftermath of last night quite yet.

---

That only worked for so long. As you and Kaminari made your way back into the dorms, you both rounded the corner and ran smack dab into Sero. Who looked like he had seen a ghost. Your memories came flooding back and you immediately glanced down at your feet, hoping Kaminari wouldn’t sense the awkwardness lingering in the air.

 "Hey dude, whats up?"

"Oh hey whats up?" Sero wouldn't even glance in your direction. He seemed to be ignoring you completely.

“Nothing, me and y/n  just went out and got Bakubro some sweet gifts for tonight!”

 “Oh...yeah I forgot about Bakugous birthday...I better go find him something...peace”  Sero chucked up the peace sign and fucked out of there faster than humanly possible.

 “Well that was awkward….I wonder what's up with him?”

 “Yeah I wonder” You managed to mumble back.

---

All night at the party Sero was actively trying to avoid you. All you two did was get a little touchy touchy...it's not like friends weren't allowed to do that or anything. Hell, you and Mina even kissed before. Even you and Kirishima. (maybe that was just on the cheek but still) At one point he went out to smoke on the balcony, you took that as your chance.

"Wow, so I must really be a terrible kisser huh? You've been avoiding me like I have covid or something?"

“Yeah sorry...it's just…” He was cut off by the sound of the sliding door opening.

Mina went to follow you out there, but realized Sero was out there, and turned right back around. He waited awhile to make sure there were going to no more interruptions before he continued.

“It’s just... that shouldn't have happened last night and I'm sorry.”

“It's OK. It’s not like I wasn't willing...you don't have to feel guilty or anything. We're friends Sero I don’t want this to change anything....” You moved closer, and he actually looked at you for the first time all night. You could tell he was feeling guilty about something.

 “That’s the thing...”

 “What's the thing?”

“That we’re friends....”

“Yeah and??”

“And....I have a "friend" who really likes you and I should have been a bro, and fucking respected that. Fuck.” Sero hung his head low, and put out his joint, glancing out into the night sky over the balcony.

“Oh....” The two of you stood there in awkward silence. “Yeah...is that friend Kaminari?”

Sero looked back at you “Maybe….”

 “Well I really like him too...we went out today, and I kinda realized he's even sweeter then I thought.”

 “Oh, then what about last night?” 

“Just because I like him doesn't mean I regret what happened.  Ya know? I can't take it back. I get why it sucks for us though....I didn't really think about what he would say if he found out.” Now it was your turn to sulk.

 “Yeah me either. I don't want to hurt his feelings, or break up the squad.”

The two of you were too wrapped up in your conversation to hear the door open this time. You both jumped when you heard another voice coming from behind you.

“Damn...break up the squad, this sound pretty serious!” It was Denki, as if right on queue, he joined you both outside.

With a quick glance to Sero, the two of you decided it would be best to tell him together. At first he just stood there silent.

 “Denki?” You waved your hand in front of him. With no immediate response, you thought you broke him, your heart fell right into your stomach.

 “You like me?....” He finally managed to mumble out.

“Uhm, yes...I went out on a date with you today didn’t I?”

“But, you also made out with Sero…”

“Uhm...Yes.” You dropped your head low, too afraid to look him in the eyes for this. 

“And he fingered you?” Denki took a step closer to you at this point.

“Mhmm….” You felt so stupid, right when Kaminari decided to finally ask you out, you had to go and do something dumb like hookup with his friend. You were utterly defeated. Until he stepped closer to you and grabbed your chin, making it so you were looking him in the eyes.

“OK.”

 “OK what??” You were confused.

He smiled, and moved a stray strand of hair from your face.“Just OK…” 

Sero decided to speak up. “Uhm Denki? I don't think that's a valid response bro..”

Kaminari turned back towards Sero while you still stood there silent, feeling like you were hit with Todorokis ice. 

“Well ok, it happened...You guys are just friends and I know you wouldn't try to date her or anything.  You like mina anyway…”

“Wait Sero...You like mina???” Hearing that broke you right out of your trance.

“Well now that the cats out of the bag….” Sero sighed.

“What a fucked up love triangle..” Denki muttered.

“More like a square but...” Sero seemed relieved.

You glanced over at Kaminari who seemed a little confused. You leaned in closer to him and whispered  “because they have four sides…”

It was like a lightbulb went off inside his head. “Yeah so, like you guys kissed, and finger banged. No big deal.”

 “You’re not mad?”

 “No...just as long as I get to do that tonight?” He smirked and  walked forward to wrap his arms around you in a hug. “ I just want my turn is all…”

You returned his hug, and shouted as Sero was about to go back inside and leave the two of you there alone.

“Wait!!!I have another problem?” 

Sero stopped. “What’s that?”

“I kinda already told Mina what we did...but she’s not dumb, she knew I liked Kaminari before i even realized it.”

“OK....” Kaminari chimed in, not following where this was going at all.

“OK, so now I know Sero likes her!....And she knows what we did, I don't want her to think he's like off limits or anything…”

 “Oh yeah fuck!” Sero stomped his foot to the ground in frustration.

 “Why is your weed too dank dude? Swear it makes everyone horny as fuck.”

 The two boys stood there smirking at each other while you actually put your brain to work. “Let me think…”

---

 After a few drinks you ran up to Mina. "Hey! So I don't want you to think I'm a total slut or anything… but..."

 "Never girl! You do you!...You and Sero " She stuck her tongue in her cheek and motioned with her hand to make it look like she was doing something else.

“Oh my god Mina! No! So that’s the thing….I like Kami…” 

“I fucking knew you did girl!”

“I told him that, and I told him about me and Sero and he's cool with it.”

 “Oh... So now you're going to get finger banged by sparky?” She took another sip of her drink and looked at you expectantly...she was not going easy on your love life huh?

“That's besides the point..” You joined her in taking another sip.

 “What is your point then chick?”

You decided to finish off your drink before answering her. “I'm not trying give you my seconds or anything... Cause I swear the whole me and Sero was like an unexpected thing....But…”

 “But what!?”

“But I've been told that Sero might have a thing for a certain someone…”

 “Who?”

“You! You dumb ass!”

 “Sero...He likes me?” Mina looked like Kaminari did when he overused his quirk. 

“Yeah! I hope you don't mind. I didn't know that when he had his tongue all up in me yesterday or I wouldn't have done it.”

She thought for a bit before whispering “This is one fucked up love triangle!” 

You just rolled your eyes and watched as she downed the rest of her drink and bounced up off the couch.

 "Where you off to?"

 "Uhm? Do you expect me to just sit here after what you told me? Imma go get me some tape face action!"

 You flopped to the couch laughing "Oh my god Miina...So you're not mad?"

 "You didn't know. Plus you're hot, can't say I wouldn't makeout with you."

 “I’d pay to watch that…” The two of you turned towards the voice that rudely interrupted you. 

“Mineta!! Go away!” You and Mina shouted in unison. 

 Yep this really was just one giant fucked up love “triangle”

[iwilleatratfood]

happy holidays fellers heres my review of the newest madhouse post

long ass post that deals with abuse and a very thinly veiled death threat, read at your own caution

TW Abuse

im not gonna go too grammar insane as a writer especially since a lot of pokemon grammar is hotly contested. however like in the second paragraph lily makes a pretty obvious tense error lmfao. theres tons of little ones scattered around. obviously not proofread lol

“She didn’t know, Bonnie. This lady…” G racked her brain, looking for a way to communicate the problem in a way Bonnie would understand. “…She was kinda like the Sun.”

Bonnie prickled, her face contorting into pure, unadulterated horror. “BUT THE SUN IS PURE EVIL!” She made it very clear to the entire household how little favor she had of the sun, the bright thing in the sky that always made her head hurt.

was this necessary? this may surprise you lily but the people reading madhouse have basic reading skills. you dont have to explain this to us like we’re three. 

“Your Mom wouldn’t let her split us up, though. It was the one thing she refused to cave on,” she continued. “And the lady got more and more angry over not controlling her completely. So one Christmas, she broke your Mom’s heart more than it had ever been broken.” G’s mind flooded with memories of that day. The aftermath of what was supposed to be a cheerful getaway christmas vacation for Lily and her then fiance. G awoke one night to find that Lily had come home earlier than expected bawling her eyes out on the couch. The look of absolute despair on the face of her lifelong friend. The things she spoke of. It still made G’s blood boil over ‘the last one’.

first off this shouldn’t be one paragraph if you want your readers to not immediately skip over it. the reason why authors like david foster wallace use it in books like infinite jest is to create prose that is painful and hard to look at. i dont think that was your intent.

second, i made a post on this shit and deleted it before lizzy told her side of the story because i wanted to not come off as a complete asshole. but i really dont care anymore. 

putting your real life relationship problems, about a person whos accused you of sexual coercion (bc lets not mince words here, that’s what it is) is literally one of the lowest things you could do. this isn’t for “healing”, this is trying to weaponize your fanbase to harass your ex.

“You were going to have to tell her eventually,” G argued as she took a step back and glanced at Mikaila and Ginger, who had both clued in to the conversation and were looking at her disapprovingly. “What?”

“Yeah, but not when she’s still so small and baby,” Lily pouted before going back to comforting Bonnie. “It’s okay, sweetie. The last one is gone and she’s never coming back. Mommy is much happier now that she’s gone. It’s okay.”

“Then Momma will eat her,” Lily said with a warm smile.

“Oh don’t call me Momma!” G groaned.

Lily snickered. “Your Godmom will eat her.”

“That’s better,” G huffed. “And yes, I will. I’ll bury every fang in her sternum. I’ll purge her evil from the world with the unstoppable power of my digestive tract.”

hm wonder why this couldn’t make it into a comic. wonder why it couldnt be put to a visual medium right after lizzy’s twitlonger. hmmmm

“Was G like this when you guys were little?” Ginger asked.

“Sort of? When we were little, G’s psychic powers were still developing so she couldn’t really read people as effectively,” Lily explained. “And since we were both little, we had little kid things to worry about. Telling Bonnie about Kirsten only made her understand the feelings she picks up better. That’s why we have to be careful what we tell her.”

ok again with the past tense shit. i noticed this before and im starting to get annoyed. if this is happening now and its not a memory, use the present tense speaking verbs ffs.

my real point here is why is this a pokemon work. like whats the point of having G be a pokemon or this taking place within the canon universe. this is a ultimate flaw with a lot of sentient pokemon works, so lily you’re not exactly special here, but i feel like recently its become more glaring.

 if all the pokemon act like humans and are sentient like humans, why are they owned by them? if i made G a sentient alien and removed all the pokemon shit, not a whole lot would change, and thats a fucking problem if ur making a work within that universe.

“I look forward to it every year,” G smiled as she hugged Bonnie tightly.

Ginger turned a smirk back to Lily. “So it’s like an anniversary?”

“It’s not an anniversary!” Lily exclaimed, wheeling around with pursed lips. “Why do the two of you always go there?”

if pokemon/human is morally wrong stop teasing it in your work.

“Why not?” Bonnie pouted.

“Because… dear lord, how do I explain this to a baby?” Lily let her head fall back against the couch.

“Because it would make both of us unhappy,” G explained as she ran her fingers through Bonnie’s hair.

Bonnie blinked, looking up at her Godmother in complete and utter bewilderment. “What do you mean?”

G bit the inside of her cheek slightly as she took a moment to consider her next words. “Well… a lot of reasons really,” she started. “A big reason is If she and I were together, I would only want to have her all to myself. Your mom isn’t like that. She needs to share her love with everyone she feels it for. She’d have to give that up just to appease my insecurities. Mikaila and Ginger wouldn’t be here to spend time with you or tell you fun stories.”

so why is G still here if she would be so abusive and controlling?

rest of the post is boring and not worth my time to review but seriously. why is this a pokemon story  still, why is this G even with lily still after how controlling and obsessive she’s been in the past... typical questions that come up whenever new madhouse is posted.

and like. holy shit for a “damn good writer” lily cannot fucking seem to follow basic writing rules and/or basic grammar. even i know this shit, and i consider myself a writer that needs to improve. tons of basic tense shit that grammarly will hit you for, a fundemental lack of understanding on how fucking dialogue is formatted, and just massive paragraphs that need to be broken up so the reader can actually read the shit your posting.

merry christmas, i will be reviewing the next post as well. 

[mssjynx]

Hi! I’ve been reading a bunch of your stuff lately and was wondering if i could request #24 (nsfw) with either Ohmcat, Ohmtoonz, Minicat, or Daithi de Wildcat

alpha / beta / omega au

daithi de wildcat drabble

24. You keep glaring at me and I have to confront you about it.

warning: nsfw

a/n; this is my first smut for ddw!!! i dont know how im writing them!! i dont know if this worked!!! be honest and let me know what you think :) 

hope you enjoy! i hope they were both in character

-

The party was shit. The alcohol wasn’t good and the food tasted bland. The smell of weed and cigarette smoke polluted every corner of the house and Tyler really did just want to go home. He was buzzed on shitty vodka, having thrown back a few shots with Marcel before the alpha had gotten caught up dancing with Scott. 

Now Tyler was sat on the couch with a beta whose name he didn’t remember practically sitting on him and chattering away in his ear. He could barely listen though she didn’t seem discouraged. He could guess she was high off her mind and, honestly, he was glad that at least she was enjoying the night. 

Bored, as he had been for the past hour, he cast his attention around the room, snorting to himself when he noticed a very drunk Brian swinging a very sober Brock around in a hazardous dance. When he flicked his attention over his shoulder, he met bright blue eyes with surprise, not expecting to find them staring right back at him. 

What only furthered Tyler’s confusion was the anger hiding in that glare. Daithi had his arms folded, eyes sharp and irritated as he glared Tyler down for a few more seconds before turning back to Anthony and Evan. The beta didn’t look back at Tyler, but the American could see he was still angry, foot tapping on the floorboards and fingers clenched in fists at his sides. 

What he had done to deserve such anger, he could only wonder, and he settled back into the couch. Ten minutes later, as the girl he sat with pulled him to his feet and tugged him towards the dancefloor, he noticed Daithi again, brows furrowed and a displeased frown twisting his mouth. He kept Tyler’s eyes for only a minute before turning away and Tyler couldn’t help his own irritation flaring. He hadn’t done anything to piss Daithi off, he didn’t deserve to be a target of the Irishman’s anger at all.

With a determination to fix this problem, the alpha placed a hand on the girl’s back and dipped to speak into her ear as he pointed to the dancefloor. Ryan looked extremely out of place where he swayed, not one for the centre of attention or drinking or dancing. “Go dance with him, I gotta sort something out,” he explained and was relieved when she clapped her hands with a giggle.

Placing a kiss on his cheek, she pranced off in the direction of the omega and Tyler laughed to himself as the nervous man got an armful of a pretty high beta. Lingering to watch for only a moment before he swung his head around, he met those icy eyes and this time, locked them down. 

“What’s got you lookin’ so pissed?” he demanded as he stalked up to the Irishman. It was mildly dissatisfying when he found that the both of them were pretty much the same height and there was no intimidation or reluctance in those bright eyes. 

Still, nothing infuriated him more than the way Daithi folded his arms over his chest and turned his head away. “Nuthin’,” he snapped, voice thick with his accent; a giveaway that the beta had had his own fair share of alcohol that night. 

“You’ve always been a shit liar,” he responded, falling back against the wall to stand beside his friend. “What’s wrong?” He wasn’t a sensitive guy, anyone who knew him knew that. 

“‘M fine,” he replied and Tyler rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah, and I’m dating the Queen,” he snarked back, huffing a sigh and grimacing at the fresh scent of weed. “It smells like shit in here.” Daithi let out a hoarse laugh, nodding in agreement. Then, with the sudden need to pee, he pushed off the wall. “I’m going upstairs,” he declared and stepped over to the doorway. When he heard no movement behind him, he turned back and frowned at where Daithi still leaned against the wall. “You comin’?” 

Surprise rose those thick brows before he was pushing off the wall and following Tyler out into the hall and to the staircase. 

“Where’re we goin’?” Daithi slurred and Tyler snickered when he stumbled on the stairs. “Fock off,” was the quiet snap he received. 

“Need to piss,” Tyler explained. “Do you wanna stay down there?” He turned as he asked the question, meeting Daithi’s glance. At the short shake of his head, he smiled and felt a tickle of relief in his chest when the beta returned the grin. “Exactly.” 

They popped each door open, dawdling their way down the hall until they came across the nice clean bathroom. Daithi shuffled to the mirror, frowning at his reflection as Tyler turned to the toilet and flicked the lid up. In silence, they relieved themselves, switching places and rinsing their mouths out in the sink. 

“So what was ‘er name?” Daithi asked as they stepped into the bedroom beside the bathroom. Bland; Tyler assumed it was a guest room. 

Tyler flopped down onto the bed and sighed happily. “Who?” he asked, brain feeling fuzzy from the few drinks that were still coursing through his body. 

“T’e girl you were with,” he said, and Tyler turned to where his friend sat on the desk chair. He didn’t meet Tyler’s eyes and confusion flickered through the alpha’s thoughts. 

The girl. On the couch, stunk of weed, chattering in his ear. He snickered, reliving the image of Ryan awkwardly catching the girl as she tried to spin into his arms. “Don’t remember,” he admitted as he yawned. “She was probably too high to tell me.” 

All Daithi replied with was a short, “Hmph,” as he continued to spin around on the chair. 

Tyler flopped onto his side instead, watching his friend spin, kicking the carpet to push him around. “What, you think she was cute or somethin’? What’s got your panties in a twist?” he asked and Daithi only glanced at him for a moment before he was turning his attention to the ceiling. 

“No,” the Irishman declared. “She looked annoying.” 

“Oh?” Tyler muttered, frowning at both the Irishman and himself. What else could have pissed the Irishman off? In his drunken state, it really was too difficult for him to consider it and he gave away a huff of defeat. “Why’re you pissed then?” he asked straight up and frowned further when Daithi didn’t meet his eyes at all. 

“I told ye, I ain’t pissed,” the Irishman snapped, but the anger could be heard in his defensiveness and without the stench of weed around them, Tyler could scent the irritation. “I couldn’ care less about who ye take a fancy to,” he continued, stopping the chair and glaring at the wall. 

For a long few minutes, the two remained in their silence as Tyler turned those words over in his brain a few times. “I couldn’ care less about who ye take a fancy to.” Why did Daithi sound like he was lying through his teeth? But why would Daithi actually care about who Tyler took interest in if he wasn’t telling the truth?

It felt too silly to think about for the drunk alpha and a laugh bubbled out of his throat. “You jealous or some shit?” he laughed, cracking a grin as he met Daithi’s eyes. “You wanna come sit on my lap?” The words were teasing as he giggled but no smile pulled at the beta’s mouth. He gave the alpha a pointed glare before turning to face the blank computer screen on the desk behind him. 

Tyler’s grin fell. 

“I was kidding,” he said. “What, do you actually like me or some shit?” 

Perhaps being blunt wasn’t exactly the right route to take while handling this as Daithi’s shoulders tensed. “Fock off, I don’t,” he spat and Tyler couldn’t ignore the uptick of his heartbeat if he tried. 

He gaped at the back of the beta’s head, eyes wide and mouth agape. Daithi was actually jealous of that girl? He wanted to be the one cuddled up to Tyler, flirting and taunting? Did he want to kiss Tyler? Did Tyler want to kiss Daithi?

He couldn’t help flicking his tongue out to lick his lips at the thought, his stomach flipping in a weird way. The immediate “no way” didn’t come to mind like he thought it would and the drunk haze that occupied his mind made it seem far less of an internal crisis as it should have been. He simply pushed himself to sit upright and exhaled. 

“Daithi, c’mere,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. 

Slowly, the beta turned and glanced over his shoulder. He wore a suspicious look in his eye and didn’t turn the chair as he glared. “Why?” he demanded and Tyler snorted.

He lifted a hand and beckoned at the Irishman. “Come on, fuckhead. C’mere,” he repeated and smiled at the sigh that the beta released. He swivelled himself around and slowly wheeled himself to the bedside. 

“Whot?” he asked, brows still furrowed. 

Closer, it was easier to see the pink that flushed Daithi’s face, the guarded look in his eye. His eyes were less blurry and the nerves on Daithi’s face only made the beta look cuter (in a weird, unusual way). 

Without thinking into it, he let the weird urge that flipped his stomach and buzzed his nerves take over. He reached up, not too fast as to scare Daithi off, but quick enough that he was able to catch a hold of the beta’s shirt before he could back off. 

Letting the contact linger between them for a moment, just to make sure the beta wasn’t going to freak out on him, he then pulled Daithi forward, sitting up in preparation. 

“Nogla,” he scolded when the beta leant back slightly. “Get your ass-” 

With a grunt, the beta pushed off the chair and clambered onto the mattress, situating himself above the alpha’s lap. Close. A hand on Tyler’s shoulder. His own hand on Daithi’s thigh. He felt the world spin around them and all he needed was to catch the flash of uncertainty in those pretty blue eyes before he made a decision. 

He yanked at his shirt, yanking him close, and flinched when Daithi’s lips crushed against his. The dull pain of contact didn’t linger though as Tyler caught the Irishman’s jaw and fit their mouths together properly. 

And honestly, it was weird. Daithi’s lips were chapped, he was big and clumsy on Tyler’s lap and he seemed uncertain with every touch. But Tyler could feel the fire beneath the beta’s skin and the craving to break it free was overpowering. He pulled back, watching Daithi blink dazedly. 

“Daithi, kiss me,” he commanded. “Properly.” 

Then he pulled Daithi down to sit on him and sealed their mouths together once again. Two seconds. Slight adjustments. Daithi’s hands tightened on his shoulders and his mouth melted against Tyler’s in a way that had heat and excitement erupting in his lower belly. Their mouths moved together with a lack of experience, but from fleeting kisses Tyler had shared in the past with girls he’d met in clubs or out on dates, he knew well enough to lead Daithi on. 

With warm cheeks, he licked lightly at the beta’s top lip and couldn’t stop himself from moaning when Daithi arched his hips forward in response. Fuck, was all the alpha could think as the seam of Daithi’s lips parted and before Tyler could comprehend any of it, Daithi was sucking lightly on his tongue and sighing into his mouth. 

He arched his own hips up, only a subtle motion to grind his arousal up against Daithi’s, but the action only reminded him how many boundaries lay between them. His hands slid around to the underside of Daithi’s thighs, slipping up to his butt which he squeezed out of curiosity. 

The breathless moan Daithi pressed into his mouth was far too erotic and something primal took control of Tyler as he locked up. Holding Daithi against him, he rolled to the side and pressed the beta down into the mattress. Hips caught between Daithi’s legs, mouth still locked on the beta’s, he growled and nipped at the beta’s bottom lip. 

“Fuck,” Daithi breathed as they drew back for air, but Tyler didn’t wait for a critique, diving back in and licking into Daithi’s mouth. He braced himself on one arm, his other holding the beta’s thigh upright to give him more space between Daithi’s legs. Everything felt right when he rocked his hips down, grinding his arousal into the Irishman’s heat and gripping his thigh hard enough to bruise. 

When the beta could no longer breathe, he tipped his head back and Tyler didn’t chase his mouth despite how much he craved to. He let Daithi breathe and instead lost all of his focus to the expanse of pale skin revealed before him. Another grind of the hips, a breathless whine from Daithi; he dropped his head to the slope of the beta’s neck and locked his lips onto the skin. 

“Oh hell,” Daithi murmured, hand sliding up the back of Tyler’s neck to grasp his hair as the alpha began sucking hard, deliberate marks into the beta’s throat. His hips didn’t stop their grinding as he rocked his arousal against Daithi, dragging as many different sounds from the beta as he could. The pleasure surrounded them in a hazy, stinking up the room so much better than the weed downstairs. 

Tyler forgot all about the party. He forgot all about the girl. 

All he had space for in his mind was Daithi’s body beneath him and the heat that seemed to devour them. “Tyler, ye’re gonna leave a mark,” Daithi groaned as Tyler bit as skin he’d been teasing with his tongue. The alpha only grinned, sucking it between his teeth and lavishing it with his tongue. “Fock-” The beta’s gasping curses were the best encouragement Tyler could receive as he worked his way down Daithi’s throat. 

It wasn’t long before the need and the heat was getting to his head and he was bucking his hips down to meet Daithi’s grinds, putting torturously not-enough pressure on either of their arousals. 

The second thin fingers started grabbing at Tyler’s shirt, he pulled up off the beta and yanked his shirt up over his head. By the time he’d wrestled his belt off and shoved his jeans and boxers down his thighs, Daithi was on his back, jeans on the floor and shirt thrown behind him. His cock was swollen, bent up to rest against his stomach where it leaked precum. 

Tyler felt his mouth watering as the fresh scent of arousal and Daithi filled his nose. “Fuck, you smell amazing,” he couldn’t help but growl, taking Daithi in his hand and sliding his fingers over his length. 

He watched as Daithi’s eyelashes fluttered, eyes rolling back as he fell to the mattress. He didn’t seem strong enough to hold himself up as his thighs shook where they bent either side of Tyler’s hips. Pressing in to occupy that space again, Tyler was glad for his large hands as he slid his own cock alongside Nogla’s and took both of them in his hand. 

Immediately, Daithi was gasping, teeth burying in his bottom lip as he bucked up into the contact. “Yes, yeah, that’s good-” He choked on the words as Tyler flicked his wrist. The burn was a little much without lubrication and he hummed in thought for a moment. Without a care for modesty, he spat into his palm before smearing the little beads of precum leaking from their arousals down their cocks. 

It wasn’t perfect, but it’d do, he decided as he dipped down and caught Daithi’s bottom lip between his teeth. Settling over him, he flicked his wrist again and felt the beta’s pleasured sigh wash over his mouth. 

“Fuck,” he murmured, before slipping his tongue into Tyler’s mouth as the alpha jerked them both off. It was impossible to keep his hips still as the cold touch of his hand drove pleasure through the both of them. Daithi’s hips stuttered with every pump and Tyler could hardly stop the moans and growls that threatened his throat. 

He kissed Daithi deeply, rolling his hips and moving his hand hard and fast. His own climax was tense in his guts and he could feel the taut muscles of Daithi’s thighs growing tighter around his waist as the beta sought out his end also. 

“Fuck, Tyler- Don’t- Don’t stop,” the beta whimpered, mouth and body pliant as Tyler kissed him and ground against him. 

His only response was a somewhat animalistic growl as he thrust his hips forward and slid his thumb and finger along the very sensitive skin beneath the tip of their cocks. Daithi spilled first, bucked up and moaning into Tyler’s mouth as the alpha chased his own release and came onto the beta’s stomach. 

Every tense muscle in his body released and he made an effort to at least flop to the mattress beside Daithi instead of outright squashing him down into the mattress. But almost instantly, the beta was curling into him and pressing his red face into the alpha’s neck. 

Tyler couldn’t help his flustered blush as they both lay together panting. 

“Holy fock,” was all Daithi managed to say and when he managed to draw himself back and meet Tyler’s eyes, there was no mistaking the little glimmer of happiness and pleasure that hid there. Tyler only scoffed, reaching up for the beta’s bruised neck and pulling him forward into a kiss. 

It was softer; modest and sweet as they enjoyed the laziness of the moment and the bass of the music from the floor below. By the time they pulled away, Tyler was feeling light-headed and Daithi was grinning widely. 

“Wanna come home with me?” the alpha asked and Daithi’s grin was enough of an answer that he could ask for. 

And if in the cab home, Tyler had to kiss Daithi to keep him quiet while he worked his hand into the beta’s pants, then no one but he and Daithi needed to know about it. 

[lorencourtier]

Discord Thread II Loren, Jace, and Emily

Discord thread featuring: Loren and jace @jace-matthews and Emily @warmvlbes

Mentions: @malakhai-ozera @davieslandon @bensonnick

When: July 28th

Description: Loren, Jace and Emily all get into a fight after Lorens texts with Emily

Jace “do you know what’s funny? You and emily living under the same roof but texting each other. Cutest friendship ever.”

Loren. “It is funny. But I don’t wanna leave you.” He laughs

Jace “I’m sure it’s juicy whatever it is.”

Loren. “Oh, just Khai shit” he shrugged

Jace “because....he backed out of a chat after a couple exchanges about a food item?” He snickers rolling his eyes.

Loren. “Yeah... I don’t know. I thought it was funny”

Jace “guys are weird. Id know. I am one.”

Loren. “Yeah, I just don’t have the brain power to analyze Khai right now” he chuckled

Jace “who...does?” He laughed. “I haven’t even had the chance to speak to him really”

Loren. *so, I guess if you wanna move in with me. It’s gonna be at my old place. Thank god I still haven’t sold it yet”

Jace “I beg your pardon? No I’m not doing that.” “I like it here.”

Loren. “So then move in with Emily. I’m out.” He gets off the bed and starts grabbing shit from the closet to throw back into its box

Jace “can you explain to me what is going on?” “because y’all are literally in the same house. Don’t make me pull you both out into the common room and treat you both like my students that I mentor”

Loren. “I’m just done supporting her ass and then she turns around and calls me fake because I think their being intense and weird? Fuck that Jace. I don’t need this shit in my life. I’m sorry.”

Jace “Okay first of all: watch your tone with me. Second of all: if you felt that way, then maybe you should’ve told her that versus saying other things? Calling people is tense or weird isn’t nice. And you know how Khai is with emily. You can’t blame her for acting out. He’s literally done nothing but to prove he can’t be trusted. If I did that shit with you, how would you feel being called intense or weird? You’re her best friend loren. She’s always going to look to support you bc I’m sure if I fucked up, she wouldn’t be on my side. you don’t have the brain capacity for tonight, okay. But insulting them all together isn’t going to solve anything. It does come off a little left sided.”

Loren. “Okay, you know what. She should know damn well I love her. I get intense and weird myself and if I was being that way I wouldn’t be all shitty for being called out on it. Second off. I know how he’s been, fuck do I know, and if it were you I would have already left. I don’t do this drama shit, I don’t play, and I’m not about to be disrespected for speaking my mind. I always have her back, always. She knows this. I try to help her see the light in Khai because she loves him. I personally don’t like him. Anyway, I’m leaving. You can stay wirh her”

Jace “loren you’re staying and thats final.” He said raising a brow. “Im literally moving in with my boyfriend of 24 hours and she didn’t call us intense or weird. So she’s stronger than the average person but that doesn’t make her crazy. You hurt her feelings loren. And so she did it right back. Y’all just need to talk this out. But you’re not leaving and if you do, thennnn....I’m gonna take a step back because this can be easily solved and if you walk out on her for this, then I’d hate to see how you’d react for the first time we fight. running away solves nothing.” He shrugged. “So either get it together the both of you? Orrrrr Im out.”

Loren. “You’re kidding right? This isn’t our first fight, and if your out for that. Because she disrespect me. Then you know what? I’m sorry. I’m not gonna sit down and be a fake person and smile when all I do is be there for her. I say one thing she doesn’t like and I’m the bad person, and now you threaten to leave me because I don’t wanna deal with it? That hurts” he turns around and walks into the bathroom slamming the door

Jace “did she not feel disrespected by you too though...?” “EMILY GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW.”

Emily She walks in, standing in the door frame.

Jace he opens the bathroom door. “LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW. I’ve had enough with both of you. This is bullshit. OVER A BOY? REALLY? Y’all- it’s KHAI WE ARE TALKING ABOUT. he’s not perfect. You’re not perfect. pointing to em and you are not perfect pointing to loren. BUT DISRESPECTING EACH OTHER IS A LOW OF ALL LOWS. IT SOLVES NOTHING”

Loren. He comes out of the bathroom and pushes past them both. “Figure your shit out. I’m done” he said to Emily. Turning to jace after. “You wanna leave me over this? Fine. Do what you want. I’m leaving” he walks toward the front door

Jace “Loren if you walk out that god damn door, I will know your love for me was not real and you are running from me just like you had to do with Landon. Pick and choose your battles right fucking now bc she is here and so am I. I am trying to help. and you literally aren’t even listening. You’re too busy trying to run.”

Loren. “I can’t believe you just said that to me. You can’t be serious”

Jace “you two need to talk. I don’t care if it doesn’t happen tonight but we’re not about to throw away this home over a boy. YOU can’t be serious. You’re running. Is it that easy for you to walk? I’m trying to help.”

Emily “I’m not going to be the reason y’all break up either.”

Loren. “I’m leaving because I’m obviously needing to cool off. But you want me to stay and keep fighting? You want me to be fake and say it’s all okay? Fine... it’s all okay baby. She didn’t disrespect me at all. Happy?”

Jace “did I fucking say THAT LOREN? NO I DIDNT.” “I JUST SAID TO TALK IT OUT”

Loren. “I DONT WANT TO! I tried and she just kept saying fuck me. So guess what! Fuck me!”

Emily “Loren wait*”

Loren. “I don’t wanna do this. I am not about to do this again. Just stop” he said dropping to the floor and holding his head

Emily “look i was fired up and said some things I didn’t mean. But you really did hurt my feelings...”

Loren. “Just stop”

Emily “stop what! I’m trying to apologize”

Loren. “I didn’t do a fucking thing wrong. And I can’t do this... i need to leave”

Emily “so my feelings are invalidated because it stung to hear you call me weird and intense? With someone you’re usually happy for me for?” “i mean if it means saving the friendship, I’ll just stop going to you about Khai. It’s not like I can talk with anyone else about him. So I’ll just leave the subject of him to deal with myself.” “because all people do is want to either try to insult him or tell me how I should do better. I’m just gonna...stop...talking about him”

Loren. “Well I’m sorry you don’t think it’s intense and weird to be off and on and constantly trying to one up each other. I don’t care what you do. I always support you, you know damn well I do. But YOU” he pointed to Jace. “Just broke my fucking heart.”

Jace “what the fuck did i do? You just tried to walk out on me for trying to help mend something?”

Loren. “I never said I was walking out on YOU”

Emily “Loren YOUVE always supported us so it was just weird to hear you say that...it felt out of no where. But I am sorry that I disrespected you. I just felt disrespected too.”

Loren. “But to throw Landon in my face? That hurt”

Jace “I’m not talking about this in front of emily.”

Loren. “Yeah. I’m just don’t with this whole conversation”

Jace “then go like you planned on doing.”

Loren. “I’m not going”

Emily “can we just light a joint or something? I don’t like us all fighting.”

Loren. “But I’m not about to ever be threatened like that again. Ever”

Jace “you tell me you love me every fucking day and you were ready to throw me in her by myself over some petty ass bullshit. You’re not going to just walk out on me trying to talk to you and that wasn’t a threat. It was a promise. Bc it was juvenile. This whole thing is Juvenile.”

Loren. “I was upset and the first thing you did was say I was acting out and sides with her. You wanna do that, fine. You don’t wanna talk about this in front of her, fine. I wasn’t walking out on you. I just don’t wanna live somewhere that I feel like I have to walk on eggshells. I did that my entire fucking life”

Jace “I was trying to get you to see from her perspective as you do every time I’ve spoken to you about my mom, or anything else loren.”

Emily “can no one leave? Please. Y’all this is my fault. I raised the tension bar and i don’t like this. I’m really really sorry loren.”

Loren. “ I see her fucking perspective. But she doesn’t care to see mine. I’m not even going to be okay with this. Or pretend to be. Maybe you should just... I’m not doing this. Fuck this” he started to cry

Emily she walked over and held him. “Jace can you just give me 5 minutes? Please.”

Jace “whatever”

Loren. “Don’t touch me I need to leave. I need to go. Just leave me alone”

Jace “I thought you said you weren’t going.”

Loren. “I-“ he just shook his head

Emily “Jace! 5 minutes.” She said again watching as Jace walked out. “Loren I know you hate me right now but you need to listen to me. You hurt my feelings too. Okay? I know you support me and yeah I see your perspective. But you’ve literally called me strong from day 1 and now it’s like you’re calling me weak for even attempting to make shit work with Khai.” She shrugged. “I don’t want to fight you at all. I’m just a little blindsided by the comments you made and I’m sorry because yes, you have supported me 100% of the way. But that’s exactly why I got confused and upset just now. as for Jace, I-I don’t have advice for that but you guys love each other and y’all just need to breathe and talk this out. But don’t leave. Because that’s clearly not what he wants. But if it’s what you NEED to do, then I guess do it.”

Loren. “Emily, I do nothing but listen to shit between you two. I never complain, I never hardly ever bring up my own shit. But the truth is. I do think you could do better. He obviously has shit he needs to deal with before locking down. But still I support you and root for you. I’m always honest with you, and I’m sorry you didn’t like what I had to say tonight. But it’s always something with him, and that’s a lot on me to make you feel better. I told you I was off. But you still get shitty with me like I’m supposed to just kiss your ass and lift you up. Now I This shit with Jace? Because of Khai and you and what he said... I don’t know if I can forgive that. It’s obviously just too much for me.’so leaving felt like the right thing to do. If he doesn’t wanna support me. Then maybe I was wrong about him”

Emily “I think he was just trying to support us both.” She said through worried eyes. “He cares about Our friendship, Loren. That’s not terrible but he didn’t need to stoop that low and I’m sorry he did. But i don’t think you were wrong about him. Just remember how much shit i deal with when it comes to Khai. But i still love him. Just like you love Jace. If you need to, stay in my room tonight. I don’t care. I want to be there. And like i said, I’ll stop talking about Khai because yes I fully take responsibility for this and that’s exactly why I don’t want to be the reason, or my bullshit with Khai, to be the reason y’all break up.” “I’m really really sorry.”

Loren. “I don’t wanna stay in your room. I don’t wanna be here. You both hurt me. You both made me feel like my opinion or feelings didn’t matter. He should support me not you. I know your friends but he is supposed to be my number one supported. Someone who calms me and is there for ME. I’m just not going to pretend this didn’t happen, and yeah. You started the whole fire in me but he fueled it. I’m just done. I’m just fucking done. Do what you want with Khai. But don’t expect me to sugar coat shit anymore. You deserve better. He’s a piece of shit. Handle it”

Emily “I’m just gonna try and move on. It’s all i can do and i don’t expect you to just bump and forgive me for this or forget this happened. I’m just saying sorry because your opinion does matter. It just hurt coming from you. And if you don’t want to be here, then go.” “or I’ll go. I’ll just go stay at nicks.”

Jace “and I’ll go too.”

Loren. “It’s like everything is fine as long as I’m saying what you wanna hear. How many times have I backed you or lifted you up?”

Emily “every time...”

Loren. “Now it’s all my fault and I’m losing my boyfriend over it? Go stay with nick like I fucking care.”

Emily “i was just saying that i will go....Christ.”

Jace “actually I’m still here but I can go if this is how tonight is gonna continue to pan out.”

Loren. “Are you here for me or her? Cause I’m a little confused right now”

Jace “I’m here for both of you because this fight is dumb. Like y’all both invalidated each other. Grow up”

Loren. “Yeah, grow up” he just laughed

Jace “yeah I’ll just go because we’re gonna be going in circles all night. I’ll see y’all later.”

Loren. “Okay, Emily, baby, it’s okay. I forgive you.”

Emily “no you don’t. I’m leaving too.”

Loren. “Jace, I forgive you too. It’s all my fault and next time I will watch what I say more carefully”

Jace “goodnight, Loren.” Walks out the front door and slams it

Loren. “Let it all be on me”

Emily she sighs, runs into her room and starts packing an overnight bag

Loren. “Don’t you ever talk to me again. I can’t believe you just did this to me after all I did for you”

Emily “loren I do not control Jace’s actions....”

Loren. “This is not friendship You just broke me in a million pieces all because of a stupid left on read by Khai”

Emily “Okay this is bullshit. I didn’t even do anything except fight with you. I don’t control what Jace does. I’m sorry he cared about both of us??? LOREN I SAT HERE AND TRIED TO APOLOGIZE AND YOU ARE BEING A DICK SO INSAID ID LEAVE. IDK WHATBYOU WANT”

Loren. “I’m going to get high. Fuck you”

Emily “fuck you too dude.”

Loren. “I’ve never felt so alone in my whole life. And I’ve been beaten, raped, and disowned by my father.”

Emily “I’m not Jace, Loren. he tried to help...”

Loren. “No your not. Did he?”

Emily “yeah he did but you’re too pissed off to see that and taking it out on me.”

Loren. “I don’t think he did. He threatened to leave if I didn’t just suck it up and forgive you”

Emily “shouldn’t you be fighting him?”

Loren. “That’s not someone who was trying to help”

Emily “you’re not even taking fault for what you said. You’re not sorry at all. You don’t care how it made me feel so why should I care how you feel right now? Oh that’s right. Because i tried to apologize and it’s still nothing.”

Loren. “All I did was wanna leave and I wanted him to come wirh me. But he chose you”

Emily “Because he didn’t want to see a friendship end over a stupid boy...”

Loren. “I didn’t say anything wrong You both were being intense and weird.

Emily “it’s funny how you can see things from Khai’s prospective but when it comes to people pissing you off, it’s complete tunnel vision” “Loren you don’t have to berate or lecture me again on how i can do better. I got it the first 2 times you said it.”

Loren. ”oh my god. Can you not just take one step back and try to see where I’m coming from?”

Emily “I did and do. Do you know how many people tell me that i can do better?” She asked.

Loren. “I don’t care that’s the thing. If you wanna be wirh him I support you. I just said what I saw and you flipped”

Emily “do you know how annoying it is to feel like Me fighting for something that i really want only for people to say why emily?”

Loren. “I give up. It’s always about you” “I’m trying to tell you. I support you”

Emily “if you’d let me fucking finish— I should not have snapped at you but it had been everyone. Literally everyone. Even anonymous beings telling me to do better. Hearing it from you, it just hurt.  AND I KNOW LOREN. OKAY I KNOW.”

Loren. “But all you hear is this stupid shit I said one time”

Emily “you want what’s best for me. Okay i hear you. I do. I’m sorry. Idk how many times you want me to say it. I’m. Sorry. I know you want to see me do better.”

Loren. “I can’t even keep up with you right now. That isn’t even what I was saying” “Let me talk”

Emily “It’s how it came across loren.”

Loren. “I wasn’t saying that in our text. I was just saying. You two are intense and weird. I don’t see anything wrong with that, it’s who you two are. But you completely flipped on me. I always support you and root for you and try to paint him as an angel for you. You know I do. So why you went off on me is beyond me. You should know I’m not aaron or any of those stupid assholes. I’m here for YOU! Yeah, maybe you could do better. I don’t really like the way he treats you. But I didn’t say that in the text. I always support you. I wanted to take a step back and just cool off because you literally went off and said fuck me. I don’t need that shit. I’m battling my own demons too you know. Now Jace...”’he teared up. “I should have known better. But guess what? I didn’t. So now I’m broken and you can be sorry but it doesn’t matter. I learned what I had to I guess. I hope you do too.”

Emily “Loren you also just said that I could do better though. But i do appreciate you supporting me and I’m sorry...I’m sorry if I’m the reason you and Jace break up but i really hope I’m not. I highly doubt he’s even left. He’s probably just as broken but this is my fault and I feel horrible for all of this. At this rate, i don’t even know how i have friends because I’ve snapped at every single one of them this week.” She shrugged. “I just don’t want this friendship to die over this. This is so stupid. And I will bring Jace back in here because yalll have to talk. Don’t let this ruin you both. Please. but can i also please just ask for pure transparency with you? Because painting Khai as some angel ISNT going to help me if he pulls the shit like he did tonight.” she sighed, peaking out the window. “He’s literally on the staircase, top step. I’m gonna bring him back in here. Just please...try to talk.”

Loren. “He didn’t even do anything but not text you back. That’s why I try to calm you down. Cause something you act like he’s so bad. When literally he barely did shit. I get why you feel the way you do, trust me I do. I have trust issues myself. But Jace using Landon against me. I can’t even.... that’s just not okay.”

❈ Ⲉⲙⲓ𝓵ⲩ ❈ “Loren it wasn’t even about the text. It was the fact that he backed out of a convo when I was joking with my best friend. Hello.” She sighed. “Talk to Jace. It’s the only advice i can offer. I already said he shouldn’t have stopped that low and i mean it.”

Loren. “I didn’t run from Landon. I tried to protect him and then I fell in love with someone else. I don’t run. I cool off, and I’m done with this. This is too much”

Emily “Loren I’m behind you on this. But I can’t solve it. You have to talk to him, babe”

Loren. “Nope, let him go” “I’m used to being left”

Emily “Loren stop.”

Loren. “I don’t want to” “I don’t have the energy for this.”

Jace he walks in and grabs his book bag, trying to grab his things in peace, his face red from crying but doesn’t say a word

Emily “then give it up. If he’s not worth it then let him go”

Loren. “I didn’t say he isn’t worth it”

Emily “well he’s leaving.”

Loren. “Don’t you dare put words in my mouth”

Emily “I’m not...I’m giving you options Loren. Either talk it out with him, or let him go. doesn’t have to happen tonight. He’s already on his way out”

Loren. “Wow, you really don’t ever listen to me do you?”

Emily “LOREN IM LITERALY SAYING TALK TO HIM WHEN YOU CAN”

Loren. “Has the one choosing to leave” “He’s also the one choosing to hurt me. I can’t control him”

Jace “BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO, LOREN!”

Emily she sighed, and walked out.

Jace “IM HOMELESS. I HAVE TO FIND SOMEWHERE TO GO”

Loren. “Well, im just done. I literally can’t do this anymore” “You didn’t want me to leave. But there you go”

Jace “so that’s it. Youre breaking up with me”

Loren. “As long as it’s not me right” “No I’m not. You’re the one leaving”

Jace “I didn’t leave. I’m still here. I was crying on the top step because I shouldn’t have said what i said. And now yes I want to leave because I really don’t think i should be here. I’m not good for you loren. I’m not.”

Loren. “Wow.’okay”

Jace “You can’t convince me I am when I just hurt you that badly.”

Loren. “I really just don’t even understand how this is my fault”

Jace “i have to live with that for the rest of this life, this relationship. I’m not blaming you. I’m blaming myself.”

Loren. “You wanted to protect her instead of me. That’s fine. I’m just not going to beg you to want me. I’m not gonna beg you to side with me. And I’m sure as hell not staying in this fucking town”

Jace “so you are leaving”

Loren. “Why do I have any reason to stay without you?”

Jace “and I didn’t want to protect anyone...I was literally just trying to help... immsorry” “Loren if you leave, so will I.”

Loren. “You literally ask me every day if I’m okay. No, Jace. I’m not”

Jace “you don’t talk to me. You never fucking talk to me maybe I’ll just take that trip to Hawaii like I planned to find my mom.”

Loren. “I try to stay stable for you. For her. For myself for gods sake. But I’ve been through a lot. To the point I just wanna die most days. But you are literally the only thing keeping me going. Then you say that about Landon. Like I actually ran from him? I didn’t run from him. I was beat within inches of my life. Then I met you... and now you. Okay you know what. I can’t even... I just need to go. This is pointless”

Jace “our love is FAR from pointless, Loren.”

Loren. “Neither one of you let me talk”

Jace “you just spoke”

Loren. “I’m sorry okay? I’m fucking sorry. Can I please go get pure now?”

Jace “I don’t even know what that means. And I don’t know why you’re apologizing when I’m the one who fucked this up.”

Loren. “I don’t know either. I literally am not in the right state of mind tonight. I said that half a dozen times. And still... “

Jace “I’ll just crash on the couch. Talk later.”

Loren. “Okay. I’m done”

Jace “ok”

Loren. “Don’t say I didn’t fight for this” he says walking out the door and slamming it

Jace “what the fuck is going on?” He follows him. “you’re really confusing me loren. You wanna talk but don’t. You don’t want me to walk out, I don’t want you to walk out but here you are ready to skip town. So which is it? I thought you were needing a break to talk about this later. So I opted to stay on the god damn couch but that was a wrong move too. What the fuck do you want? Talk”

Loren. He sat on the top step and just cried

Jace “I love you loren. I’m trying here. But I don’t know what you want me to fucking do”

Loren. “I wanted you to back me. No matter what. I wanted you to love me,  no matter what. I just wanted to know I could come to you with anything and you wouldn’t leave or tell me I was invalid in my feelings. Now everything is ruined, and it’s all because I didn’t want to be treated like shit by my so called best friend” [3:32 AM] “I’ve done shit for her that was so out of line, I’ve done everything for her. I didn’t deserve any of this”

Jace he sighed and sat down beside him, keeping his hands to himself. “Loren, you’re right. You don’t deserve anything that happened but you have 2 people trying to apologize. I don’t know how many times I have to say this: I was trying to get you to see it from her perspective. That is it. I’m not saying what you said was wrong. Im not saying what she did was right either, baby. You have to listen to me.” He sighed, wiping his own tears. “It’s...a boy. And this is a friendship. Khai is a shitty person, okay? But she loves him. And truth hurts. People lash out on that shit. All i was trying to do was for you to see why she did. I did have your back by trying to help mend it but I see that’s where I came off wrong. And I’m sorry.” He sighed, choking up. “And I’m sorry for what I said too. That was low of me and i know you will never forgive me for that.” She sighed, trying to catch his breath. “Truth is I do love you. I do have your back. You can come to me with anything but much like you told emily, I’m not one to sugar coat shit. I’ve been in my own depression since finding out about bea but you’re the reason I stay afloat. And no. Not everything is ruined. You still have me and you still have emily. But if you don’t want us, that’s your decision. We can’t force you to do anything. No matter how bad I may not want you to leave, the choice is yours.”

Loren. “I did see her side, Jace. That’s the whole point. I tried to talk to her and explain myself and she tore into me like I haven’t been there for her the whole fucking time. I can’t do this shit with her anymore. I can’t, and I can’t let it come between us. Yeah, you hurt me with what you said. I don’t even know what to do with that. But I’m so in love with you, I need you. I know you’ve been stressed and I think I just need to focus on us and not them. I need to. Because I need you, and I’m so in love with you. I’d fucking marry you if you’d let me. But you need to know, when I say I’m leaving. I just need to cool off. I’d never walk out on you. Never”

Jace he took a deep breath and moved to hold loren, cupping his face. “I know what it’s like to try and focus on others relationships. But she has to fix this on her own. You can only do so much. But y’all need to support each other. NOT that you WERENT before. Because you were. But you know what I mean.” He presses his forehead to his. “But i love you so much and yes, we’ll get married. I don’t want to lose you. I want us to work on ourselves together. But please be open with me baby. I can’t help you if you’re not”

Loren. “I’m trying” he said grabbing his wrists. “I’m so used to being told to keep quiet and to stay in my own lane. But I’m really trying. I told you about the heroin, and Dominic, and I have been doing good. But, I’ve just been stressed with Emily. Because I love her and I hate seeing her hurt” [3:55 AM] “Please don’t leave me. I love you so much and don’t you ever threaten me like that again. I literally crumbled”

Jace “of course you do baby. Shes your best friend.” He pressed his forehead to his. “I am so sorry. I really am. I just was scared to lose you. I didn’t want you to leave. Too many already have walked out of my life.”

Loren. “I didn’t even think that’s how you might have felt. I just thought you knew I needed to cool off and that’s my bad. I apologize for that. I do” he pressed his head back against his and sighed. “I’m never gonna leave you okay? I just build up and I go off. So I just need to calm down. Please know I’d never leave you”

Jace “I believe you. I’m sorry.” He told him, moving to hug him and breaking down in his arms. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” He repeated over and over in light whispers

Loren. He wrapped his arms around him and cried with him. Kissing the side of his head. “I’m so sorry too. I really am. I love you”

Jace he sobbed into his neck before pulling out and pressing his lips to him. “Can we go back inside our home?” He asked, breaking away from the kiss.

Loren. He kissed him back with all the love he still had for him and nodded as he pulled away. “Yeah baby. Let’s go to bed.” He brushed his cheek wiping his tears and smiled softly. “I love when you call it that”

Jace “well it is. It’s our home. I want it to stay that way.” He smiled, kissing him again as he wiped his own boyfriend’s tears. “Let’s go” he took his hand, holding tightly

Loren. “Yes it is” he nodded. He kissed him back and took his hand before getting up and leading him inside. “I’m not going anywhere, ever. I promise”

Jace “I’m not either. A trip to Hawaii? Without the love of my life to support me? I’d be out my damn mind.”

Loren. “Yeah, you would. But if it’s something you really feel you need to do alone. I’d respect that”

Jace “I can’t do that alone. I don’t have the balls to do it alone*”

Loren. “Okay, then I’m there. I’m by yours side always. I love you” he led him into the bedroom and pulled the covers back on the bed. “You sleep on my side okay?”

Jace “w-where will you sleep?” He asked lying down hesitantly.

Loren. “In your spot” he said. Crawling on top of him and laying his head onto his shoulder”

Jace “the switch up only for you to cuddle me.” He smiled, tilting his head up to kiss him. “I love you.”

Loren. “Yeah”’he chucked. Kissing him back before rolling off of him. Half his body still on him though. “I love you too. With every ounce of my existence”

[feel199x]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚apple of my eye ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ Chapter IV

I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X

gang member!han jisung, gang!au, florist!reader

masterlist

a/n: (tiny evil laughter)

warnings: gun mention at the end!

 Jisung was still there when you woke up, entangled in his arms. But he was already awake, even with fatigue making his eyelids droop slightly. You were worried that Jisung would disappear again, without reason or explanation, but here he was. Looking out for you even when he must’ve been overworked with his band business. You moved slightly, wanting to attempt to make breakfast for the both of you when he wrapped his arms around your waist, peppering kisses on the back of your shoulder. “Just a few minutes more,” he persuaded, “I don’t want to ever leave.” And you wish you could, you wish you had. You stroked his hand, tracing small circles on the back of it. “I have to make breakfast,” you whispered, “And open up shop. Make calls.” He rested his head on the crook of your neck. “No you don’t,” he whined, “We can just stay here.” He sounded so tired, so exhausted, and rightfully so. So, you didn’t argue.

Instead, for a few more hours rather than the suggested minutes, you laid there. Entangled in each other’s limbs, in comfortable silence and warmth. But as the noon sun rolled around, you felt more compelled to do something productive- to move past the stressful month and get back to your regular routine. You fought through Jisung’s pout and made a modest breakfast, sipping tea as Jisung refused to leave your side, sitting behind you on the living room floor, mindlessly kissing the nape of your neck as the TV news filled the room with white noise.

Around the late afternoon, you were able to drag Jisung downstairs, keeping you company as you called your frequent clients, informing them that you had opened again. They were all relieved to hear that you were alright, and that the shop was back up and running smoothly again. Some of them even stopping immediately by, bringing comfort gifts and ordering new arrangements. Still, the feeling of uneasiness rested in the demon pit of your stomach. But nothing was outwardly out of place. At least, nothing you could see. You tried to repress the feeling, a record player you had fished out from under your bed playing some soft jazz music. You were teaching Jisung to make some flower crowns out of daisies, and he was surprisingly very good at it, not needing your help after a half hour.

“Sungie.”

He paused to look you in the eyes, gently grabbing your hand to give it a tight, reassuring squeeze. “What is it my love?”

You grew flustered at the pet name, playing with the flower crown you were working on with your free hand. But for the past two weeks, all you could think about what a beaten up Jisung. You worried endlessly about him, that night was emotionally fulfilling and draining, but you had to soothe a question that pounded into your brain.

“That night..,” you hesitated, glancing nervously at him, “That night you kissed me. How did you..who hurt you?”

He made you turn to face him, hands resting on your waist. He grabbed both your hands, still maintaining eye contact. “Is that what’s been bothering you?” he asked sadly, “Is that all you’ve been thinking about?” You nodded, refusing to make direct eye contact with him. “I just had a run in with an asshole,” he explained, “You should’ve seen him though, he was much worse off.” He laughed, trying to lighten the atmosphere, hating how tense and serious it was. “Besides,” he added, planting a kiss on his biceps, “These babies would never let me down.” Your shoulders relaxed a bit, the tension in them releasing and you threw a handful of daisies at him, laughing and smiling at his ability to dissolve any sort of oppressive undertone.

He wasn’t telling you the truth, the full truth, but there was no way you could’ve none at the time.

“How’s stray kids?” you asked, “Do you have any gigs coming up?” A flicker of nearly imperceptible worry passed through Jisung’s eyes. You’d always admired the deep brown of his eyes, especially the way that sunlight shone on them, making them warm like melted chocolate and golden sun flecks swirling within them. You could draw his eyes from memory, and seeing his worry made the uneasiness creep up your chest.

“We’ve been pretty busy,” he turned to work on a second flower crown with the daisies you threw at him, “Becoming a lot more popular than we had intended. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to be with you more.” You played with his hair, tucking a few unruly strand behind his ear.

“Any time with you is a good amount of time.”

A smile spread across the face, the type that made you swoon, the type where all other smiles would be ruined for the rest of your light time. He pinched your cheeks lightly, stretching them out as he teased you. “You don’t have to be so cute okay,” he fake scolded, a smile still on his face, “If you say stuff like that, my heart is going to burst.” You make an unintelligible noise as he kept messing with your stretched cheeks. But eventually he stopped, hugging you instead. “You’re my favorite person,” he said quietly, “Thank you for being here.” He stayed in that position for a few minutes, as you played with his hair, his head resting on your chest due to his seated position. The record music still played, giving the room an ever softer, escapist feeling.

But reality had to hit sometime.

You noticed the sun setting, the orange glow filling the room in a warm, soft light. The flowers’ color illuminated by the glow. The light through the stained glass piece leaving a puddle of prismed colors on the side of Jisung face. He had never looked so relaxed, so soft, so angelic as he did now. The world felt like it calmed down, slowed, even if it was for those few minutes. You stroked his hair, before you moved to lock the shop’s door, evening approaching- and business dying down. You normally never close earlier, but today you felt you deserved it. You locked the door, shutting the blinds and the warm orange glow disappeared.  Leaving you and Jisung in artificial, fluorescent light.

That’s when the first shot was fired.

[blessethwrites]

stars exploding

(Day 1 of MultiSaku Month)

Fandom: Naruto

Pairing: SasuSaku

Summary: Don't get Sakura wrong, she was happy she and Sasuke were becoming friends, following everything that had happened. Ecstatic even. But hell, did he have to be on her mind all the damn time?

On AO3

Her love for Sasuke had always been one of her defining characteristics, Sakura was starting to realize. Back in the Academy that was the thing everyone knew about her and, to be fair, she hadn’t minded. Then when they were placed on the same team that damn crush continued to be her driving force even as Naruto and Sasuke kept growing and improving, not only as shinobi but also as people; it was somewhere around the Chunin exams that Sakura had decided her feelings were more than an infatuation and had been brave enough to call it love.

It all spiralled from there. And somehow after all those years, after an entire damn war, that same love she held for him remained so deeply ingrained in her very being that she couldn’t imagine ever not loving him.

Except. She let out a heavy sigh once she finished up the last of her paperwork. Now things were different. There was no war anymore, there was no need to run around chasing Sasuke and silly as it might’ve sounded, it felt like the beginning of a new era. And for once, Sakura was happy with where she was. She was enjoying settling into her new life. That was a challenge of its own -- even after a few months, at times she still had trouble remembering it was all over -- but not an unwelcome one. The others, at least, seemed to be struggling with getting used to the newly established life of peace as well, and Sakura thought there was a sense of relief in navigating their new lives together.

She pushed herself up from her desk and stretched in an attempt to work out the kinks in her back. Ino would tell her to stop overthinking everything and just enjoy it; and she’d be right, of course, even though Sakura would never admit that to her face. The thing was, there wasn't a switch she could turn to stop thinking. In fact, thinking was all she’d been doing lately and somehow it all kept coming back to Sasuke. As it always did.

She wondered, not for the first time, why she seemed to be the only one unable to move on. Their former classmates had. Karin had. Ino had. Meanwhile, Sakura was stuck. Or at least, she had been. She still believed she’d always love Sasuke, except lately she was starting to realize that didn’t necessarily mean romantic love. After all, platonic love was just as precious.

So one could say she was slowly coming to terms with the fact that perhaps while she did love him, it was only as a dear friend. A very, very dear friend. And she tried to treat him as such, she reasoned with herself. She'd come to pacing around the room which wasn’t all that spacious to begin with and nodded along to her thoughts. Yes, ever since Sasuke had been released on probation she’d made sure to be friendly while not being too friendly to a point where he might feel uncomfortable. She really wanted to build a relationship with him that wasn’t based on a childish infatuation followed by years of separation. She wanted to get to know the man he’d become and to become someone he could trust in return; she wanted that teammate bond they lacked, the one she’d dismissed as boring when she’d been younger.

And it seemed he wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea. Of course, she hadn’t been so forward as to tell him all of that but she’d made an effort he appeared to recognize. She would even go as far as say he tried to return it in his own way. And she was incredibly happy he did, naturally, but that didn’t mean she was equally happy that he occupied so many of her thoughts.

“Friends, you idiot, friends,” she chastised herself and let out a low groan. She was hopeless, was what she was. She immediately tensed once she heard a snort come from behind her and whirled around, fists ready, only to recognize the chakra signature at the very last moment.

“Um,” she racked her brain for something to say, mind drawing blank. As much as she thought about him, nothing could really compare to the real thing, she realized as she watched Sasuke raise an eyebrow at her. “Hi?”

He let out another snort and shook his head; there was something akin to fondness in his eyes, though Sakura must have imagined that. “Hi,” he returned her greeting dryly and she had to stifle a grin. During the past months, she’d come to find he had a very dry sense of humour; right now he was basically teasing her. “I see you’re busy, should I come back later?”

This time she let the grin spread on her lips and leaned back until she was perched on her desk. It wasn’t as unusual as it would’ve been some time ago, to have Sasuke stop by to visit her at the hospital, but it also wasn’t as if he’d made it into a habit. A happy surprise, Sakura would call it. “Is there something I can do for you or did you just come to tell jokes?”

He seemed amused by her comment but didn’t say anything. He was watching her, eyes calculating, and she had no idea what he was looking for until he finally spoke up. “You haven’t had dinner yet, have you.”

The tone of his voice suggested it was a statement rather than a question and that he knew perfectly well she hadn’t. Sakura threw a glance at the old clock sitting on the desk next to her and then her eyes returned to Sasuke almost defensively; it wasn’t that late. “No,” she said cautiously, hoping to avoid a lecture. Not that Sasuke was the type to give her one, generally, but she’d had enough from both Ino and Naruto to last her a lifetime. She shrugged lightly. “I was going to head home soon anyway.”

He merely hummed, unmoving from where he was leaning on the wall, and Sakura crossed her arms. Her days of trying to decipher his grunts were over; if he wanted to say something he’d have to use actual words. She raised an eyebrow at him, stifling a smile as he snorted, apparently having understood her silent protest. “Come eat with me. I made too much food.”

His wording was a little off but it was still major progress from the closed-off boy he’d used to be, Sakura thought fondly. Then her brain caught up with the fact he’d invited her to have dinner with him and she had to look away, choosing to focus on a few of the manila folders sitting on her right side. As she straightened them out, making sure they were perfectly aligned with both the desk and each other, she cleared her throat. “Um, yeah, sure, that’d be nice.” When she finally glanced back at him there was something in his eyes she couldn’t quite read. “Thank you for offering.”

Sasuke shrugged, shifting his weight slightly, and looked around the room. “You done?”

Sakura bit her lip and it took everything in her not to fidget. She could certainly find something to keep her busy if she looked for it, like a last minute patient or a nurse who needed help; those were always easy to find. And on any other night that was precisely what she would’ve done. But tonight Sasuke was here and he wanted to have dinner with her, and as anxious as the idea made her, she was also looking forward to it. She threw him a small smile and pushed herself away from the desk. “Yeah, all done.”

Sasuke grunted once again, in response to which she reached to poke him in the ribs; no grunting on her watch. He let out an amused huff and Sakura’s smile grew as the two of them headed towards the main entrance. She couldn’t help but think how weird it was that spending time with Sasuke felt so normal. She’d expected there to be a certain awkwardness, all things considered, and while there had been in the beginning, it had all but dissipated by now. Yet another example of how much better their platonic relationship was as opposed to the one-sided crush she’d had, she thought.

When she glanced at Sasuke out of the corner of her eye, she was surprised to find he was already looking at her. “What?”

He didn’t move his gaze for a while and once he finally did, Sakura realized she’d been subconsciously holding her breath. “You get lost in your head a lot,” he said simply without offering any more explanation. He didn’t need to, anyway, she knew exactly what he meant.

“Sorry.” She threw him a sheepish grin and had to resist the urge to rub the back of her neck; she refused to completely turn into Kakashi. The ghost of a smile on Sasuke’s lips told her he knew exactly what she’d been thinking which made her grin widen. “I promise for the rest of the night I’ll be one hundred percent present.”

Sasuke didn’t offer a verbal response, something Sakura was about to tease him for, when she spotted Shizune talking to Kira-san on the front desk. She glanced at them and raised a finger to signal Sasuke she’d be just a moment; then she moved to approach the two women.

“Hey,” she smiled and nodded in greeting before turning to Shizune as the nurse moved to give them some privacy. “Do you need my help with anything? I wanted to check with you before I head out.”

The look Shizune gave her had Sakura raising her hands and hurrying to explain; she didn’t want Shizune thinking she was shrinking her duties or anything of the sort. “My shift ended a few hours ago, but if you need me then of course I’ll stay--”

The woman laughed, hands coming to rest over Sakura’s. “I know, I know. I was just surprised you’re voluntarily leaving, that’s all; I’m pretty sure Naruto-kun had to drag you away last time.”

The memory made Sakura flush as she recalled Naruto insisting she was overworking herself and quite literally carrying her out of the hospital; while she appreciated the concern, it was embarrassing. “Yes, well…” She trailed off and her gaze slid to Sasuke who was patiently waiting for her by the doors. He raised both his eyebrows when he caught her gaze and she shook her head before turning back to Shizune, not quite managing to contain her smile.

“Ah, I get it now.” Shizune’s tone was teasing but the warmth in it was unmistakable and Sakura’s flush became even more apparent.

“It’s not like that, Shizune, don’t tease me,” she laughed it off. “Not you too.” She’d been getting suggestive looks and wry smirks for at least a month now and she wasn’t sure how many more times she could repeat the phrase ‘we’re just friends’. She wasn’t mad, she knew nobody meant anything by it, but she could definitely go without it as well.

Shizune’s smile turned apologetic. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” She glanced down the hallway behind Sakura and let out a semi-amused breath. “You better get going before there’s an emergency and you end up staying here the whole night.”

Sakura snorted in agreement before saying her goodbyes. Finally, she returned to Sasuke’s side. “Okay, now I’m really all done.”

He held the door open for her, a gesture that would’ve made her past self swoon. If she was being perfectly honest it made her swoon now as well, but she told herself it was only natural. She would’ve enjoyed it regardless of the person.

“Are you inviting Naruto?” she spoke up once they’d started walking. As far as she was aware they were headed towards Sasuke’s new apartment at the centre of the village and while it wasn’t far from the hospital, she didn’t want them to spend the walk in silence.

Her question made him huff as he glanced at her, amused. “I said I made too much food but not that much.”

She shook her head at the familiar teasing but there was also a side of her that grew even more anxious now that he’d more or less confirmed it would just be the two of them. It was fine, though, it really was. Friends had dinner together all the time. It was fine.

“How’s work at the hospital?”

It wasn’t the question itself that surprised her rather than the fact he’d asked it at all. She quickly tried to shake the surprise off, however, and simply shrugged. “Not a lot going on right now, but that’s good news.” She paused, considering. “Of course there’s still a ton of paperwork, but at least I also have some more time to do research. Actually, Hinata’s been letting me have a closer look at the Byakugan and it’s really fascinating.”

She wasn’t about to go into detail about her findings for one because the information was only to be kept inside the Hyuga clan and for another, most people would find it boring even if she could talk about it. In any case, Sasuke was a smart man, she had no doubt he’d understand the secrecy around the Hyugas’ bloodline limit.

He seemed to hesitate for a moment before glancing away, looking anywhere but at her as he spoke. “I don’t mind if you want to research the Sharingan.”

Sakura actually stopped walking for a moment out of sheer shock. The Uchihas were notoriously secretive when it came to their bloodline limit, even moreso than the Hyugas. For Sasuke to say this to her…

“I wasn’t trying to imply--” she started to say once she remembered to keep walking but he simply sighed, cutting her off before she’d had the chance to explain she hadn’t mentioned Hinata in some attempt to rope Sasuke into letting her do the same to him.

“Sakura. What you find will benefit me as well,” was all he said and she could feel her heartbeat slowly return to its normal pace. That made perfect sense; of course he’d want to know more about the Sharingan, especially since he was the last living Uchiha. She was overthinking everything, as usual. Sasuke cleared his throat and although his voice was quiet, Sakura heard him perfectly. “I trust you.”

“Oh.” Even if she’d wanted to, she couldn’t have helped her wide smile. There were a lot of things she could say in return, from Thank you to I trust you too, but she had a feeling Sasuke still wasn’t completely used to being so open with his emotions and she didn’t want to scare him off. Baby steps, she reminded herself. “Okay then. Whenever you’re free you can stop by the hospital and we can get started. Just make sure to let me know beforehand.”

Sasuke gave a sharp nod and after a beat proceeded to surprise her yet again. “Are you free tomorrow?”

She fumbled for a response, letting out a small, unsure chuckle as she did. “Um, sure. Does noon work for you?”

This time the nod was the only answer she received and before he could throw any more curveballs at her, she found they’d reached his apartment. He unlocked the door easily enough -- Sakura would forever be jealous of doors which didn’t need prodding and punching to open, unlike her own -- and led her to the dining room. The apartment wasn’t big but Sakura liked that about it; she had a feeling Sasuke did too. Somehow it had a homey feel to it, despite the scarce decorations. Perhaps it was because there was a bit of Team Seven scattered around every room -- a few of Kakashi’s books were resting on a shelf in the dining room which also served as a living room, the bathroom smelled of kiwi and mango, courtesy of Sakura leaving a spare bottle of shampoo in case she needed to sleep over, and she also knew for a fact that the fridge was well-stocked with instant ramen. In any case, whatever it was, it made her feel at home. She had to imagine Sasuke felt the same way, despite his actual childhood home being on the other side of the village. He’d mentioned to her a few weeks back that it felt more like a graveyard than a home, and her heart had broken for him.

“Here,” he said as he entered the room, placing one plate on the table in front of Sakura and one right across of it, where he took a seat. “It’s omusubi.”

Sakura could see that but she also knew what he really meant; it was basically the equivalent of him asking if it was an acceptable meal. She gave him a small smile. “It looks lovely.” And it really did. She could spot fish flakes and what appeared to be tomatoes, and she found herself thinking this was a very Sasuke-like meal. “Itadakimasu.”

Sasuke echoed her words and the two of them proceeded to eat in silence -- strangely enough, Sakura didn’t feel any of the unease she’d expected. This was technically the first time she and Sasuke dined together, just the two of them, and it was actually a nice change of pace. With Naruto there was always this sense of urgency to their meal, especially seeing how quick he was to finish his food. Sasuke, on the other hand, took his time.

She remembered how he’d be just as fast as Naruto back in their childhood, matching his pace with ease, but she also assumed that had been merely a part of the rivalry the two of them shared. Now things were different. While the rivalry was still there, Sakura liked to think it had taken a turn for the better.

“There’s anmitsu in the fridge,” Sasuke said some time later, eyes not moving from the rice ball he was holding with his chopsticks. His tone was even, as if describing the weather, but Sakura couldn’t help staring. While that was one of her favourite foods, he hated sweets. She knew that because back when she was young and crushing on him, she’d made a point to catalogue all of his likes and dislikes. And sweets definitely fell into the latter category.

It made no sense unless he’d developed a sweet tooth during all those years away from Konoha, a thought that made her unreasonably sad. She knew he’d changed, she wasn’t stupid, but there was something about the idea of not knowing him as well as she used to that unsettled her.

And that was precisely why they were doing the friendship thing, she reminded herself. To get to know each other better. So she hummed in a way she hoped seemed casual enough and swallowed the last of her food before replying. “I didn’t know you liked sweets.”

The amusement was plain in his eyes though the rest of his face remained impassive. “I don’t.”

“Oh.”

Her response, or the lack of thereof, seemed to amuse him even further, but there was also that same flash of fondness she’d thought she’d imagined earlier. He didn’t say anything else as he too finished his meal until at last, he stood up and moved to go to the kitchen. Sakura watched as he disappeared behind the door only to return a few moments later with a small bowl of anmitsu.

“Wait, you also made this?” When he’d mentioned having sweets she’d assumed he’d just bought them. Sasuke grunted in response and she couldn’t even find it in herself to get mad. “Wow. I-- Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me before you’ve made sure it’s edible,” he said dryly but she could see the careful way he was watching her as she tried the dessert.

She didn’t know what she expected but it was good. Everything tasted just as it was supposed to and she smiled. “It’s great, Sasuke, thank you. Not just for dessert but the whole meal. And,” she added with a laugh, “for getting me out of the hospital.”

A snort of amusement and another easy silence fell upon the room. Sakura took the opportunity to get another look around. Sure, she’d been there before with Naruto and Kakashi for team bonding or something of the sort, but now, with nothing else to do, she found her eyes drifting. Not entirely surprising that they landed on a picture, the only one she could see, standing innocently on a small coffee table. Their old genin photo.

It was Naruto who had given it to Sasuke, frame and all, upon his return, but the mere fact he’d kept it and displayed so openly had warmth blooming in Sakura’s chest. They had different teams now and Sai and Yamato were without a doubt part of their little family but even so, the four of them -- herself, Sasuke, Naruto and Kakashi -- had something that felt special.

Sasuke noticed her gaze, naturally, but he didn’t say anything. She had a strong feeling he didn’t like to think about those times, regardless of all the good parts, and she respected that; one thing she’d learnt as a medic was that everyone coped in different ways.

“Once again, thank you for the meal,” she repeated as she set the now empty bowl down on the table, suddenly unsure of what to do with her hands. She ended up clasping them in her lap in order to resist fidgeting. “I guess I better get going now. I have an early shift tomorrow and you can imagine what those are like.” She’d stood up at some point and now had to bite her lip to stop talking; she could feel the words bubbling up under the surface and she didn’t think Sasuke would appreciate her rambling.

“I’ll walk you.”

He was also standing, moving around the table to stand in front of her, and she blinked up at him. “Are you sure?” She didn’t add that she could take care of herself because if after everything they’d been through he still didn’t see that then there wasn’t much else she could do. And besides, she had a feeling he hadn’t offered in some misguided attempt to protect her; Naruto usually walked her home after every little gathering they attended, and when he wasn’t able to, Kakashi did it instead under the excuse he was headed in the same direction as her anyway. Hell, even Sai had walked her on one memorable occasion which nearly ended with him in the hospital.

Thus, she concluded, Sasuke was just being a good friend. Still, she didn’t want him to feel as though he had to simply because other members of their team did.

He looked at her in a way that said plenty; if she had to interpret it as just one sentence, however, it would be something along the lines of Of course I’m sure, I wouldn’t have offered otherwise. Another smile grew on her lips and distinctly she remembered Ino saying something about how she’d been smiling a lot lately.

The walk to her apartment was, unsurprisingly, silent. But Sasuke didn’t seem to be in a hurry, matching her slower pace without complaint, and when she felt the heat of his body by her side, she realized they were walking closer than usual too.

Upon reaching the door, she turned to face him. “Thank you for walking me.”

He was about to respond with another grunt, she could feel it, but when he saw her raised eyebrow, his lips twitched in amusement. “You’re welcome.”

Pleased, she turned back around to face the door and was about to insert the key when her mouth opened without her permission. “Would you like to come inside?” She froze, scrunching her nose at her stupidity, and took a breath before looking over her shoulder at Sasuke who hadn’t moved an inch. “For, uh, tea?”

She watched his face carefully, ready to backtrack the second he showed any sign of annoyance, and promptly stopped breathing when he smiled. It was only a half-smile, granted, but it was the closest to a genuine one she’d seen from him and it was directed at her. It softened all his features and even his dark eyes, which had seemed so emotionless a few years ago, now appeared warm.

“Yes,” was all he said and her heart skipped a beat.

So much for platonic feelings.

[until-the-joy-drops-again]

It was Always You 1

*I was listening to this song and just REALLY wanted to write a story behind it... and it has since spiralled out of control lol.. I hope you like it*

Watching her singing, dancing around the room, her face relaxed and happy, the guilt hit me like a punch to the stomach. The realization of how selfish I was about to be took over every fiber of my being. For fuck sake Adam, its not like you just went away for the weekend... you walked out on her TWO FUCKING YEARS ago! Look at the life she has built for herself since then, look at how happy she is ...

As if she were reading my mind, she turned and smiled at me, singing the last of her lyrics but I didnt hear the words. Her beautiful hazel eyes were shining, her smile was easy, honest, true... what the fuck was I doing?

"Dude, dont you FUCKING dare."

I turned to the voice next to me, Adrien was staring at me, frowning. I started to open my mouth but he cut me off.

"Do you not see how she looks at you? How she smiles at you? She sure as fuck doesnt look like that for anyone else....you guys make each other happy and you both deserve that."

"But it's been two years-"

He cut me off, "you're here NOW."

I looked back out at her. I heard her song winding down and my guts twisted. My confidence cracked and the fear set in... would she understand why I did what I did? Fuck, would she even CARE to hear why? This past week this moment has been all I could think about, running EVERY possible outcome through, trying to find the perfect words, the perfect gestures, the perfect everything to make these past two years disappear. To get her to give me a chance to explain. It had all seemed so easy... but now... with her right here in front of me, it seemed impossible. What was I doing?

The music suddenly ended, and had I not been drowning in my own fear over what was coming, I would have laughed, The second the music stopped, everyone scattered back to the walls, leaving only her and I in the middle of the floor. She had turned to me again and smiled, I tried to smile back but I know it didnt work. She frowned ever so slightly and said my name, confusion and concern on her face, before she realized we were suddenly all alone. Her eyebrows furrowed together as she turned to look around her and I had to look away. She had a few more lines on her face now, but i still knew every single one of them by heart. I had never forgotten every inch of her, the way she squinted her eyes when she smiled with her whole soul, the way her nose crinkled up when she got fake angry at being teased, that spark in her eye when she talked to me. It all came rushing back, stabbing me like a knife. I tried to take a deep breath but it staggered as I knew there was no way out but forward... but I couldn't look at her... I cleared my throat in the silence that had overtaken the house.

"I, uh, wrote a new song..." it took all of my strength to turn and look at her again, "for you." I met her gaze and involuntary winced when her eyes got bigger, looking at me, confused and... scared? And she took a hesitant step towards me. Then Tom started the music on his keyboard and she, thankfully, looked at him. I dropped my gaze to the floor again, realizing I was rubbing the back of my neck with my hand... all too quickly, it was my cue to start singing... so I did.

"Woke up sweating from a dream....With a different kind of feeling, oh" I honestly felt like I was going to die. The idea that this could be the absolute last time of being around her, crushed me. I somehow had managed to lie to myself the past two years, that I would be ok without her, that I could breath and smile and feel joy away from her... but now, with her right there, right HERE... I realized none of that was true. She had always been the air I needed to breath, the water I needed to live...

"All day long my heart was beating...Searching for the meaning, oh" my body convulsed inward as I tried to take in a deep breath and find the strength to look up at her again, knowing her face wouldn't hold any of that easy happiness that I had been drinking in since I got here. I knew there would be a darkness that would settle in her eyes, maybe even anger at me for being gone and just coming back with a song without any other conversation, without even an 'I'm sorry.' Not that I had had a chance to, but still...

I dragged my eyes back to hers and almost forgot my next line. The darkness was there, but there was no anger, there was an openness that grabbed my heart with both hands and clung to it. Please God let that stay. Please let that stay... but when she blinked the look was gone and she seemed so far away, lost in her head somewhere... I had to get her back.

"Hazel eyes," I stepped towards her, planning to close the distance between us but she snapped out of her trance with such fire in her eyes, it stopped me dead in my tracks. I couldn't read what it meant, but she was really good at being stoic, I was trying to find any of her little tells that would let me break through to her just a little, but I couldn't find any. But then, as quick as it appeared, the mask was gone... and I saw her heart rip apart.

The pain on her face killed me. I had never seen her that vulnerable before with that much hurt showing openly. And I was the one that caused it. Every piece of me was on fire, I wanted to take that pain from her, I NEEDED to take it from her. I would trade her all the happiness I have ever known to make her not feel like she was. I instinctively moved up to her, trying to figure out what she needed me to do in this moment.

"I was so color blind...We were just wasting time, uh uh babe." Her eyes filled with tears and I saw the anguish cross her face before she looked away from me and closed her eyes. I grabbed her then, by her arms, knowing this was going to be it, knowing I needed to do this more than I needed to breath.

"For my whole life, we never crossed the line....Only friends in my mind, but now I realize," I moved my hands to cup her face, as gently as I could but my need for her to understand was breaking through. When I touched her face I felt a fire rip through me, her skin electric, surging through my heart, my lungs, my brain. She must have felt it to because her eyes flew open, they were just inches from me, the hope i read giving me the strength i needed...

"It was always you."

Her body gulped in air like she had never never taken a breath before. Her eyes were instantly clear and I felt them reach deep inside me. Finding my deepest secrets and all the words i had never said.

"Can't believe I could not see it all this time...All this time...It was ALWAYS. YOU." There was so much emotion that ran through me on those last two words. Trying to make them say everything I've needed to say for what felt like my entire life. But I saw a veil drape over her face that only seemed to allow complete shock to show through. And I was terrified.

"Now I know why my heart wasn't satisfied." I suddenly realized I still had her face in my hands and I felt more awkward than I had ever felt before. My body moved them away before my brain could stop them. I slid my hands down her face, down her neck, wanting so BADLY to be able to keep them there, forever. But I couldn't, so I trailed them over her shoulders and down her arms.

"Satisfied...It was always you, you...No more guessing who." I could see her fighting herself, that's just what she always did. I knew how her mind worked and at that moment I saw my first real opening to get her out of herself for a moment. I took her hands in mine and pulled her close. I needed her to MOVE, to let her brain turn off for just a second. Get her to be in this moment with me. So I danced with her. Just shuffling my feet, getting her to turn in just the smallest of circles. Just enough that I was able to see everything she had walled up inside her, come tumbling out. And then she was there. Her entire being and soul was staring back at me. I could see her piece herself back together around this instance that we were sharing. I saw her spark, I saw her hope, I saw her EVERYTHING.

"Looking back now I know it was always you...Always you"

I never wanted that look to end, I wanted to see more, I wanted her to look at me without any doubt about how I felt for her.

"All my hidden desires...Finally came alive, hmm ...No, I never told lies...To you so why would I,"

I spun her again, desperate to not have a cloud reappear over her eyes. To keep them clear so she could see everything I was telling her... and for her to give me permission to hold her and never let her go. I caught her in my arm, firmly placed on the small of her back and then everything was gone except her and i.

I felt her arm go around me and grab at my clothes, her other hand went to my side and took hold. I tensed at her touch, not realizing how badly I needed it. She looked up at me.

"Start tonight....Hazel eyes, I was so color blind...We were just wasting time, uh uh yeah...For my whole life, we never crossed the line...Only friends in my mind, but now I realize,"

Her hand on my side was suddenly cupping my cheek and bringing my face down to meet hers. Our foreheads touched as she spoke my name, sending lightning bolts through my body. I had never loved my name more than when it slipped out of her lips. Then she sang with me...

"It was always you."

My brain just stopped... everything I had been holding in for much longer than I had realized, spilled out inside of me. I jerked back in shock, needing to see that what had just happened, really actually happened. Did she mean it? I studied every centimeter of her face, the pang of honest and real hope that formed in my heart was overwhelming. But when I looked at her, her face was so soft, so open, every piece of her seemed available to me. Nothing was veiled, nothing was dark. And I felt myself smile, so easily and wholly. My body SCREAMING for her as I ducked my head back in to meet hers. My lungs felt light and when I went to sing, my voice just seemed to float out.

"Can't believe I could not see it all this time...All this time," our noses brushed against each others first, then our foreheads. I felt her hands on me instantly. Grabbing at my shirt, my back, my sides. I wanted more, I wanted to feel her entire body on mine.

"It was always you"

And all of a sudden I saw her laugh. It was so effortless and pure, more easy than I had ever seen before. She laughed for ME. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. SHE was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"Now I know why my heart wasn't satisfied...Satisfied...It was always you, you"

I had no idea how big I was smiling until I leaned towards her, the closer my lips got to hers, the more my smile shrank. I wanted nothing in the way of my lips meeting hers. I had full intentions of a wild and passionate kiss, but as soon as I felt her breath on my face, I got shy. I still didnt believe this was happening. I had waited long...

Our lips brushed against each others. I was still waiting for it to turn bad. For her to recoil, or slap me or any other thing that I felt I deserved... but she didnt. And then I heard her gasp and my smile ruined our kiss, but only long enough for my shyness to be replaced for my hunger for her. I somehow was able to grab her harder, move her closer, feel her more completely as our lips met again, until I felt he starting to smile, her lips elongating, being pulled away from mine. And even those I wanted this kiss to last forever, I felt a smile forming on my face too. I pulled back ever so slightly.

"It was always you," my voice could only register a soft tone, I felt weak now that I had her tucked safely in my embrace. An embrace I knew I would never ever let go of. As the music continued to play around us, I tried to find the right words, "I'm sorry I disappeared, but I needed space, i needed to do things right...i needed to do THIS right. My marriage was never anything. My divorce wasnt because of you, but because it wasnt what i needed and I always...i have just... I have always needed YOU." I pulled back a little farther, but just far enough to look at her, to make sure she understood everything I said was true. That all of me was standing here for HER.

"Adam..." her voice seemed frail and it trailed off as we both finally caught the sound of everyone around us cheering. Those fuckers! I chuckled as I realized how stupid I had been. Her cheeks turned pink and she chuckled too. Then our audience took over the song and started singing loudly and joyfully...

"No more guessing who...Looking back now we know it was always you...Always you!!...Ah, yeah ..."

Everything was perfect. It was incredible and amazing and probably one of the greatest moments of my life. Standing here, with her, and being part of something with so many people that all shared this indescribable joy with me. I couldn't help but laugh...really laugh. I looked down at her and saw the same raw joy in her laughter too.

I took her hand and spun her, catching her again, but tighter. I pulled her as close to me as I could, putting my one hand back on the back of her neck where I had so desperately wanted to hold only minutes ago. And I kissed her, as hard as I could. I kissed her for all the fear I had held onto for so long. I kissed her for all those missed moments, for the last two years. I wanted to finish my song to her but I ust couldn't give her lips up, I pulled away just enough to form words but still keep my lips on hers.

"Woke up sweating from a dream...With a different kind of feeling....It was always you....Even if I could not see it all this time...All this time...It was always you...always." our friends took over from there. All their voices combining into one, giving her and I more time to ourselves. I would never be able to thank them enough for it.

I wanted to touch every part of her at once. I ran my hands up and down her back, grabbing her hip bone hard under my fingers, then back up and buried them in her hair, trying to bring her closer.

"Now we know why his heart wasn't satisfied, satisfied....It was always you, you...No more guessing who...Looking back now we know it was always you, always you...It was always you"

[panda-noosh]

Hey!! Can I get a mello x fem! reader?? Any kind of scenario or maybe like headcannons, sfw with a liiii nsfw ;)))) i dont mind i just love my smol mafioso so much and I dont see enough reader insert stuff 😘😘 i will love you forever...

This got longbecause Mello is my boy and writing for him is pure bliss. I hope youenjoy!

  I’ll also becoming out with a bunch of Death Note stuff soon, because I have somany ideas for headcanons and scenarios for all of them, so pleaselook out for those! x

   Joining Mello’sgang was never something you had wanted to do. You had always swornto yourself that it would be the absolute last resort.

   You had once hopedthat you would never have to succumb to it. Life was going well foryou after Wammy’s closed down – you were working with L, still ingood touch with Near and Mello both, though you definitely foundyourself gravitating towards L more. He was always the wise kid atWammy’s, the one everybody found weird until he showed them just howout-of-the-ordinary he really was.

   Mello and you hadnever gotten along like you wished. He craved success, something youhad no interest in. You were an intelligent girl – a Wammy’s kidafterall – and your intelligence was all you ever needed alongsidebasic necessities like food and water.

   It wasn’t like youtwo had ever hated each other, though. You shared the odd glance inthe hallway and you kept on good terms, but it was no secret that thetwo of you would never make a good team. Nobody would even try andput you in the same group back at Wammy’s – it was a death sentencefor either one of you two or somebody else.

   So you stayedapart.

   And you had hatedthe distance, because Mello was somebody you had wanted to get alongwith for a very long time, but you would never be the one to closesaid distance. He would have to make the first move.

   Or so you believed.

   It was only after Ldied and left Near as his successor did you start to realise thatmaybe intelligence really wasn’t enough to keep a grip on your life.

   It all spiralled.Kira killed L, Near was left with the repercussions and you werethrown to the side like rubbish. Nobody knew why you were the anymore – you were the girl with the brains, the out-of-this-worldsense of knowledge about everything, but nobody saw your potentiallike L did. And after he left, that left nobody.

   Nobody but Melloand Near, and you refused to bow down to somebody who was a juniorcompared to you.

   So you left. Youleft the Kira case, left the headquarters and found yourself in theunderground habitants of Mello and Matt’s gang house.

   It always unsettledyou whenever you walked through its halls. Nothing echoed. It wasjust the stale sound of people talking through the thick walls,muffled voices and the odd drill sound appearing throughout. Thewalls were rough to the touch, threatening to slice open any skinthat came in contact with the jagged surface this place had beencrafted from.

   It didn’t take longfor you to find Mello and Matt’s room – a gloriously built room atthe very end of the long underground tunnel. A simple steer left andyou were standing inside of the door frame, looking at your oldfriends with nothing but a straight face and balled up fists.

   Mello didn’t seemto react at first. His eyes met yours, and they stayed there, as iftesting the waters. As if needing to see if it was really you. Youhad changed in the last four years – new hair colour, new height,new body overall. The last time Mello had seen you, you had beenthirteen years old and were busy plotting your escape from Wammy’s.

   That was all youever were to him after you left – the crazy girl who had scaled thewalls of Wammy’s house and left.

   But now, as helooked at you, more and more memories of you seemed to zoom back intohis head, almost overflowing. He had barely given you a secondthought from the last time he had seen you, but your presence hadtriggered something within him – something he couldn’t explain.Something he was scared to explain.

   “Y/N?” Mattsaid, first.

   Your eyes snappedto Matt, his style of a striped shirt with his red hair still thesame as when you had last seen him. You smiled at the sight of him,nodding your head in his direction to let him know you acknowledgedhim.

   “What – Are youokay? How did you even get in here?”

   “I found anentrance,” you lied, knowing full well it hadn’t been that easy. Ithad been weeks of non-stop research under old bus station roofs foryou to know where this place was.

   Matt and Mello’sfaces screwed up in confusion, but you were quick to change thesubject.

   “Come on now.It’s a bit rude just leaving a lady hanging here, isn’t it? My feetare hurting from walking down that damn corridor.”

   Mello and Mattshared looks of concern as you attempted to step inside of the roomfully. Almost immediately your arms were being grabbed and you werebeing tugged back a lot rougher than you would have liked to admit.You were sure that both of your shoulders had been ripped from theirsockets, though you didn’t make a move to show off the pain that wasdarting through your torso. Instead, you tilted your head back andlaughed up at the jagged roof.

   “Mello, dear. Iknow you’re shocked, but you need to use your words. Or else how arewe going to catch up?”

   You looked down,catching a glimpse of Mello with his tongue tucked neatly into hischeek as if to ask you what nerve you had to be talking to him like aday hadn’t gone past. The look in itself was enough to make yourcheeks heat up – was he being attractive?

   “Lether in,” Mello finally ordered, and you were dropped. Your legsclashed against the ground, an ‘oomf’ escaping your mouth as youhadn’t realised just how far they had lifted you off the ground. Youshook the feeling back into your legs, smiled and turned back toMello and Matt, both of whom didn’t seem to understand what you weredoing.

   Ofcourse they didn’t. Neither of them knew that you had hit completerock bottom.

   “Sorryfor the short notice,” you commented, walking in fully and settingyourself beside Mello. He immediately folded his leg over the other,an attempt to get as far away from you as possible. He was stilltrying to figure out what you were doing in the first place.

   “Therewas no notice at all,” Matt brought up. “I think we deserve alittle bit of an explanation. Why did you fall off the end of theearth after you left Wammy’s?”

   “Youhad every chance to be L’s successor, and you decided to throw itaway for some lick of freedom,” Mello spoke up, and his voice wasso deep and so not what you remembered thatit almost made you wince.

   Youclenched your hands within the fabric of your jeans.

   “Ididn’t want to be L’s successor,” you replied after a moment ofcalming yourself down. “Fighting against a bunch of other kids wasnever my idea of a good life. I wanted to spend it hunting downcriminals, changing the world, but upon my own accord. Not because Ldecided to drop dead.”

   “Whichhe did,” Mello said.

   “Whichhe did,” you confirmed, turning to look at the blonde-haired beautyat the side of you. His side profile was glorious, a sharp jawlinewhich was a big change from the chubby-chocolate-eating boy you hadknown when the two of you were thirteen. “I bet that made youhappy, Mihael. Finally your chance to shine and Near took the gold.”

   Mello’sface paled at your words. Matt immediately stepped in, tutting andslapping your arm to get your attention back on him – this alwaysused to happen at Wammy’s. One of you would say something and theother would bite back comments which could destroy the others life.It was a common thing, though you remembered the days when it wasWatari stepping in to stop you from killing each other.

   “Youdidn’t explain anything useful,” Matt said after a moment ofcalming Mello down with his eyes. “Why are you here and where haveyou been?”

   “I’vebeen working with L,” you replied, confidently pushing yourshoulders back. “I was his right-hand-woman for a little while.Before he – you know – died. After he died, I went off on my ownand I’ve been on the road ever since. Walking around Japan, sleepingin bus shelters – anywhere, really.”

   “Youdid that because you didn’t want to work with Near?” Matt gasped.“You threatened your own life just so you wouldn’t have to workalongside Near?”

   “Wouldn’tyou?” Mello scoffed. “The man’s a lunatic. An absolute shit towork for. I’d much rather die than work by his side.”

   “Iwasn’t threatening my life just because it’s Near,” you growled,slapping Mello’s arm. “I left because I don’t work for anybody. Idon’t work for L. I don’t work for Near. Unlike you two, I don’t holdgrudges against my old pals.”

   “It’snot a grudge,” Mello said. “He took my job from me. He ruined mylife, and he’s still trying to do just that.”

   “Isthat right?” you nearly scoffed, unable to hide the grin that waspulling across your face at the stupidity of his words. “Mihael,I’m not being funny, Near hasn’t been near you in the past sixmonths. I’ve made sure of that, and so has he. He has no interest inyour petty control-battle that you’ve got going on. He’s the one withthe leading job. He has no interest for anything else.”

   Mellopaled again, his tongue leaving his mouth and leaving a wet trailover his bottom lip. You could see his hands clenching the leathermaterial of the sofa the two of you were sitting on, his eyes neverleaving yours. It was a battle for dominance – one which wassurprisingly tense. You could see everything in this moment – hishard work, the amount of time he had spent working for thatsuccessors job, only to have it snatched away from him by somebodylike Near.

   Youhad to understand where he was coming from. Just because you didn’thold grudges didn’t mean you didn’t have some left-over anger towardspeople who had done one better than you, people who had taken whatwas rightfully yours. Just because you refused to live your life withanger in your heart, didn’t mean you didn’t have any.

   Youjust ignored it, unlike Mello, who used it to get his revenge.

   “Matt,”Mello said, suddenly. You looked to the left, catching a glimpse ofMatt who had been completely uninvolved in the situation after hishands got a hold of the GameBoy that was always tucked into hispockets.

   “Mmm?”Matt hummed in response.

   “Leave.Get everybody else to leave as well, and don’t come in until I tellyou to come back.”

   You narrowed your eyes, folding your armsover your chest in confusion. What is he doing?

   “Ithink Y/N and I have some catching up to do. Just the two of us –like old times sake.”

   Matthesitated for a moment, though the moment was soon over as he stoodup and left the room, trailing the security guards behind him as hedid so.

  Theroom seemed almost hollow with just you and Mello sat inside of it.His eyes beamed into yours, refusing to let you out of his sight foreven a minute, though it wasn’t as if you’d risk such a thing. Thegun that was pressed against his hip bone was threatening enough.

   “Youleft,” Mello croaked out at last. The silence was shattered, but itwas still tense in the room. “You left, and you promised you’d comeback for us but you never did. You promised-”

   “Pleasedon’t talk about that,” you hissed. “I regret it, Mihael. Ireally do. I did. ButI had things to do.”

   “And you think we didn’t?” Mellobarked out, taking you by surprise when he thrusted himself upwards,pointing left right and centre as if that would prove his point.

   Hedidn’t need to prove his point. The memories of that night at Wammy’swere enough for you.

   “I’ll comeback for you. I promise,” you told Mello, running your fingers downhis jaw gently. You were only thirteen, barely old enough to scalethe wall you were about to attempt. Whatever made you believe youwould be able to break back in, drag out Mello, all without gettingcaught was beyond you, but you knew you would.

   You had to.

   Though you hadnever gotten along with the boy, you cared for him. You cared for thefact that he was always so brutally honest with you, and he wasalways there when you needed him. There had been an uncountableamount of times that you had completely buried yourself in his chest,sobbing uncontrollably because you were never good enough in thisdamn house.

   You would findhim again.

   “I’ll missyou,” Mello had whispered that night, under the stars as the two ofyou stood in front of each other. “I’ll wait.”

   “You won’thave to wait long,” you promised. “I’ll be back before you knowit. Just – Don’t forget about me, okay?”

   “I couldn’teven if I wanted to.”

   “Inever did forget about you,” Mello said now, looking so deep intoyour eyes that it was almost as if his irises were projecting thatmoment all them years ago on a loop. “I couldn’t. Like I told you,I just couldn’t. And Iwaited for a really, really long time. Six years, to be exact. I onlylost hope of you returning recently, and you show up and just shatterall of that personal growth Idid because you need some place to stay.”

   “It’snot like that,” you insisted, though you didn’t know how it wasn’tEvery word he was saying was the truth – you had been selfish tocome back here. You had been selfish to show your face in front ofthe person you had betrayed.

   “Thenat least tell me why,” Mello said. “Tell me what got you so sweptup that you forgot about me. Even though I was spending every wakingmoment thinking about you, wanting you back. What got your brain sodamn occupied?”

   “Nothing!”you bit, standing up with him now.

   You’reno longer eye-level, you noticed. When the two of you were young, youwere even a little bit taller than him, but he had certainlyout-grown you in the six years the two of you had been separated.

  “Jesus,Mello, nothing got my brain occupied, because I didn’t forget aboutyou at all!” You were nearly yelling at this point, only the soundof shuffling outside keeping your voice low. “I told you Iwouldn’t, and I didn’t, because you meant so much to me back then. Itwas impossible to getyou off of my mind for so long, even though I tried so hard to dojust that. What makes you think I didn’t feel guilty?”

   “Younever even tried, Y/N,” he growled. “I’d have known if you’d havetried.”

   “How? Because I did. I was a thirteen year oldgirl, for crying out loud.”

   “Youwere a Wammy’s kid!” Mello exclaimed, running his hand through hishair. “Using the age excuse isn’t going to work, because we bothknow damn well you could have easily gotten me out of that hell-hole.Me and Matt both.”

   “Ididn’t want Matt,” you exclaimed. “I promised you I’dbe back. Not him. I promised you and only you, because I wanted tolive my life with you. Iwanted to live my life with you, in a small flat in London where wecould just be together. Butlife got in the god damn way, and I refuse to sit here and let yousay that that’s my fault!”

   Thewords were out before you could catch them. Your usually speedy brainhad suddenly seemed to slow to an agonizing halt, unable to catch upto what you had said in time to stop them.

   Youhad never admitted to anybody that that was what you had once wanted.A life with Mello. A life with the man who everybody thought youhated. You had argued like cat and dog for the majority of your life,but that hadn’t changed the fact that his bedroom was always open foryou whenever you woke up from nightmares, the sound of your parentsbeing murdered still managing to lodge itself in your brain evenafter so long.

   Hewas always the man you came to with those issues, and you two wouldalways just talk about them like they were normal, because that waswhat it felt like – normal. With Mello, everything felt normal.

   Hiseyes widened as the words settled into his own brain – a shock tohim, but a good one he found. He didn’t like to admit that it was agood one – but it was. 

   Andin seconds, he had lost control. The control that he had been keepingwithin himself for years had finally broken completely and he wasthrowing himself towards you. His kisses weren’t the best, never themost gentle, never the most practised, but he was ready to risk itall just to feel your lips against his for once in hispotentially-short life.

   God, didyou need it as well.

   Hishands found their way to your jaw, pulling your face closer andcloser to his as your own hands wound around his shoulders, pullinghim down. Your lips fought for dominance for a moment, beforecompletely melting against one another into a calm, slow kiss thatbrought out the butterflies in your stomach.

    Youhad never imagined that kissing him would be like this. So familiar,even though you two hadn’t even kissed before. It was like it wasmeant to be, like a balloon had popped in your stomach – one thathad been getting bigger and bigger for the past six years, andpossibly even before that.

   Mellowas the one to pull away, and all too soon at that. His foreheadleaned itself against yours, ragged breaths escaping hissaliva-coated lips that you currently have the perfect view of withthe way your head is dipped. They looked glossed, and he quicklyglosses them even more as he swipes his tongue over the skin.

   “Fuckyou,” he whispered against your forehead. “Fuck you for making mego insane for the past six years.”

   Youlet your eyes flutter closed, tightening your arms around hisshoulders. “I’m here now. We may never get that small flat inLondon, or that ordinary life, but we can be together.”

   Melloclosed his own eyes. “I need that right now.”

[simkjrs]

msa ch3 asks

Anonymous said: I love how msa Izuku comes across as an honest to god cryptid: can't see his face, absolutely the kind of person you'd find at a gas station at 3 am, doesn't want attention, most likely distant cousins with Mothman

msa au is just me fulfilling all of my ‘protagonist is a cryptid’ dreams by making msa izuku as cryptid as possible. favorite character archetype: cryptid 

Anonymous said: so the msa au is my life right now thank u for that & I just read through the update twice so thank you for that x2 and I had to go back and look for Izuku and Kirishima's deal when it came up again and realized oh hey Kirishima agreed not to try and stop Izuku from leaving after 3 minutes and they didn't put a time limit on that i wonder if that'll come up again (& then my brain jumped to Izuku using that Forever. "we had a deal" every time it comes up. he cannot be stopped bc kiri promised)

got it in one!! izuku will abuse the wording of that deal forever if he can. good eye! 

Anonymous said: relatability of msa izuku: trying, doesnt trust feds, inability to sleep, ready to jump out 4th story window at a moments notice, anti-attention-

that’s msa izuku living the cryptid life of his dreams

Anonymous said: So wait you don't have to answer this if it's a spoiler but the collarbone blood tattoo™ is what's making deku's existence confusing to electronics, maybe?

yep, you got it! normally izuku is able to keep his presence from overtly affecting the electronics around him but scripting really starts messing with them. 

Anonymous said: quirkless msa deku anon and can i just say that deku looking eraserhead straight in the eye with lie detector policeman there and him saying "i don't have a quirk" and said policeman not detecting a lie is arguably the best thing i have thought of today.

tsukauchi:  tsukauchi: wh  tsukuachi: how did you even do all of [gestures at ch2 events] that without a quirk?  izuku: it’s a special talent of mine.

Anonymous said: I just read chapter 3 and oh my god oh my god oh my god. Your Izuku is who i aspire to be 24:7. Like everything he says makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time. You did good. <3

haha we are all aspiring to izuku’s levels of impromptu sass. im glad you liked the new chapter! 

Anonymous said: I'm probs rlly late cuz I Love in GMT+1 which means 9 HOURS of difference but I love your writing. Man, dude, being from beyond time and space, you always manage to create the perfect harmony between comedy and suspense that has you giggling while trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe. Just. OH BOI.

this ask is so funny and sweet at the same time. i love you 

@arinrowan said: it's kind of ironic that msa!izuku is exactly the kind of person who would benefit from friendship with/interacting with canon izuku.

msa izuku would benefit from friendship in general but you’re right. he needs the kind of quiet but aggressive support that canon izuku gives 

Anonymous said: Cuz I'm trying to see if I can figure this out, by "told me about Kamino Ward", does that mean that Izuku tipped kirishima that that was where bakugou was? How did he know tho, did baku's spirit go to him and tell him that? Did izuku actually play a part in the rescue???? So many questions

THE ANSWER TO ALL OF THESE... [spoiler alert] is actually ‘yes.’ more soon...

Anonymous said: when they start asking questions abt kamino ward at some point he just gets fed up and says "I JUST DID IT BECAUSE THE GODDAMN CAT WOULDNT LEAVE ME ALONE. I DONT EVEN LIKE BAKUGOU" and the heroes are like :0? what if, we brought bakugou here?

izuku doesn’t even acknowledge that the kamino ward incident happens it’s like theyre just talking to a brick wall 

Anonymous said: Izuku has no control over his own sass anymore and it's glorious?? Says "that'll be 500 yen" and looks surprised at himslef, says "now it's 600 yen" and looks downright mortified, the sass is too much for his smol body, sassmaster izuku ftw

to quote @salvainterra, “i love the fact that izuku never stops even when he himself thinks he should stop.” izuku listens to every nonviolent intrusive thought that crosses his mind and it both incredible and unfortunate. izuku is no longer bound by human limits 

Anonymous said: msa izuku is the living embodiment of the "fuck this shit im out" song

ABSOLUTELY

Anonymous said: tbh when msa chapter 3 said that izuku slept 12 hours at nighteye's office, i was guessing that he would just passive aggressively sleep as much as possible for as long as they had him. won't give them the satisfaction of watching him wander around in his holding cell. hes in the middle of the interrogation and he puts his head down and goes to sleep (btw love your work!)

haha no he was just so exhausted he passed out for 12 hours. he hasn’t had a good nights sleep in weeks, as soon as all [gestures at ch2] this was over he just crashed 

Anonymous said: Wow the new chapter is great!! Stellar as always. I can't help but imagine what's going on from Izuku's point of view with the spirits. Am I the only one who thinks Aizawa's spirit was trying to apologize or something when Izuku talked about not being forced into anything?

there was definitely some spirit stuff happening... i will say that aizawa’s fox spirit is the one who asked/persuaded izuku to tell aizawa what was Up with his quirk 

Anonymous said: tbh i want to see them question izuku with a lie-detector quirk or something. like he'll say something positively ridiculous and everyone's gonna go "wait wtf he's telling the truth??!!?!!?!?!?!?"

hoho... well... buddy im not gonna say anything... 

Anonymous said: Hello! I found your works recently and have an insane amount of time in the past few days going through it all, cause is all beautiful. I want to scream at you about all of them but you only get so many words with this so I'll focus on msa rn and I read chapter 3 of msa last night and since then I've been switching laughing at Izuku's sass, crying cause Izuku has so much angst involved him and I just wanna hug him, and screaming cause whAT WAS THAT CLIFFHANGER?!! Just what. Thanks for ur works-A

THANKS, thats the kind of reaction i aim for when i write something. im super happy you liked it!! <3 

Anonymous said: Technically his quirk is "Being alive" or "Having a functioning body" but saying that would probably end with the same blank stares. As a side note, in the manga (and canon in general) they mentioned quirks are activated by the 'quirk factor energy' or whatever... Do you think that might mean that people who are quirkless just don't naturally have enough quirk energy to activate their latent quirks? it would also make some sense from an evolutionary standpoint, the glowing baby is from the first

generation that had enough of the qfe to actually manifest their quirk and after that generation the lowering number of quirkless could be attributed to those that have a deficit in the production of said energy and they might actually have latent quirks. The pinky toe missing could be the final mutation that causes them to have enough energy for their quirks to work.. The only issue with the theory I see is OFA not awakening latent quirks with it's energy jumpstart...

i think that’s a pretty good theory! it lines up pretty well w/ the worldbuilding in msa. as for afo, :3c

Anonymous said: Hey uh.. I know this is probably 100% non canon in your AU but I was re-reading your MSA fic and I misread something that made me think that Izuku is actually dead and his body is actually being run by his guardian spirit who possessed his body/took his place when he died... *sweats* Its a really weird.. dark idea but I thought it was sorta cool and you might like it..? um.. I'll just let myself out now

god yeah that would be so dark and everything in msa would actually be even worse than it was before 

Anonymous said: When deku explains nighteye's quirk i can only think of that's so raven.

theyre valid questions... 

Anonymous said: I spent my break reading the asks sent to you RE: chapter 3 of msa and I cannot stop fucking laughing over "look eraserhead dead in the eyes and tell him you don't have a quirk" thank GOD I'm supposed to be happy and smiley to everyone

honestly, this is conceptually such a powerful moment that i can’t not put it in the fic now 

Anonymous said: msa izuka finally get set free but kiri has started following him around. States its official hero business but really just wants to see what other "cool shit" izuka will do.

izuku pulls an Official Cryptid Move (tm) and disappears while walking thru a liminal space 

Anonymous said: i love that when aizawa starts asking about deku's quirk he's like, 'screw this i'm answering in riddles now'. this is such a great fic!!

Anonymous said: “It’s a secret,” he says. “A secret that no one knows, that one will suffer, and one-half loathes. Who knows if it’s true or not? The only thing we can confidently say is that it’s one thing that should not be.” Okay, so this is probably one of my favourite little scenes from your fic, partially because it sounds so ominous and badass and makes pretty much no sense. I loved your update, I was so tense the entire time I was reading it, but also giggling hysterically because /Izuku/ just - Izukus

hmm i sure do wonder where izuku got that riddle from... and what it means... 

this riddle is just izuku complaining about everything because as long as he’s in this situation, he might as well make it perfectly clear how unhappy he is about EVERYTHING. when else is he going to have an audience for him complaining about his various maladies 

Anonymous said: I think that a part thats particularly true to izuku's character is when kirishima makes the observation "damn maybe it IS good we arrested him so he can sleep" & izuku goes into a miniature coma for 12 hours bc being arrested presented the perfect opportunity for him to finally be able to sleep

nfdfsljndslfnjdf YEAH, everyone please stop this child it’s for his own good 

Anonymous said: Reading know what i've made by the marks on my hands is really terrifying when not in Izuku's pov because you now know how scary?? it is for some other characters and Izuku looks crazy-- but you know he's not because cheesus???? This kid???????? Honestly I love it so much, thanks for your amazing writing and I want you to know that I enjoy it a LOT.

that’s the goal... showing how weird and strange and bizarre izuku is from everyone else’s point of view... i loved the outside pov bc i got the chance to show how much of a cryptid izuku is, something that izuku himself isn’t even aware of and thus would not make it into his pov

Anonymous said: anon who ((still)) hasn't read bnha here. chapter 3 of msa is amazing. i cannot get over the sheer amount of sass found in such a smol boy. also kirishima is quickly becoming my favorite character because of how supportive and caring he is. kirishima/deku is apparently now something to add to my armada of ships. for that i thank you. also i cannot wait for deku to meet spirit!one for all. it will either be glorious or horrible.

haha im always happy to introduce someone to the wonders of kiri/deku!! its an extremely good friendship... and in my professional opinion everyone should get on it and make it the Hot New Thing. as for ofa, ;3c

Anonymous said: I just thought of this but during Aizawa's interrogation I could totally see his spirit just blatantly looking away from Izuku while Aizawa is asking about his benefactor.

HAHA YUP, i love izuku saying all kinds of stuff about spirits and no one can make any sense of it and meanwhile the spirits are trying to tell him to stop. but izuku cannot and will not be stopped from passive aggressively vaguing about them. he WILL get his complaints in if its the last thing he does 

Anonymous said: “I just fixed your entire Quirk, you cabbage.” I'm sorry but this. This is beautiful. I'M GOING TO GO AROUND CALLING PEOPLE CABBAGE NOW

i was worried it was a bit of an overused classic internet insult but this is reassuring :p 

Anonymous said: every word that comes out of MSA Izuku's mouth is a blessing

but not to our three heroes and their intrepid intern sidekick... 

Anonymous said: Shit after the msa chapter i've got so many questions about Kamino. Did the rescue occur the same with minor variations? Is AfO still down? Did All Might fckin die? Has OfA been passed down yet? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

im uncreative and unoriginal with canon events so we’ll see.... we’ll see. 

Anonymous said: MSA CHAPTER 4! I just found it today and I'm already rereading it. I did not know how much I needed sassy dead inside izuku. I Love this fic so much! That cliff hanger was so good! I'm so exciting to see more of izuku's pov. I love kiri but like I can't get enough of this izuku and his thoughts and reactions to things. This is so well written. The pacing in chapter 2 was so good. It felt like a heist and then keeping the readers guessing with not knowing if he was gonna get away was so good!

thank you so much!! im really glad you enjoyed the story that much <3 <3 sassy izuku is a pleasure to write honestly, can’t wait to see him more in future chapters 

Anonymous said: Ohhhhhh you should update msa! It's so unbelievably good! I love the interaction between kirishima and izuku! Like I'm so excited to learn more about kamino ward and how that's gonna affect izuku going free and keeping his identy safe

:3c 

Anonymous said: In chalter 2 of the msa au, did Kirishima think anything about how Deku said "I swear to every spirit I know"?

he dismissed it as a kind of weird, niche turn of phrase. like oh, guess this guy believes in spirits and junk, but im more worried about literally every other weird thing he’s done today 

Anonymous said: So does MSA!Izuku always mess with attempts to record his presence? I feel like this would be kind of a major problem when it comes to getting himself a school ID or the like. (He's going to school somewhere, so he must have a school ID stashed somewhere). You know, they could potentially use this to track his identity down. They can try contacting schools to see if any had issues with one student needing to have an excessive number of photo retakes.

nope, usually izuku can keep it under control! the blood sigil on his collarbone is what really let him passively affect the electronics.

Anonymous said: Ok so msa!Izuku says "he shouldn't" exists, and when I first read that I was really confused, do you mean he shouldn't exist in the way that he sees things he shouldn't, or that he literally should not exists and Inko has no freaking clue where he came from/he was not a planned child?

yes to the first proposal. other than that, spoilers... 

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Modern Animorphs AU (part 2)

@jollysunflora : The second half of my complete list of modern AU Animorphs headcanons, approximately one per book.  

28. “Ax,” Marco says, “How come you can roll out ‘venti dulce de leche dark-chocolate frappuchino extra whip’ without batting an eye, but you giggle every time you have to say the word ‘soy’?”

“It has so many vowel—owl?—sounds, in so little space,” Ax says.  “That long sssssssssss, so pleasant on the tongue, but then that odd oooyyy ooy-yah?  All in the back of the mouth.  Very strange.  Sssoooy.  Ssususs-oooyaaa.”

“Also, he’s moved on from the frappuchinos,” Tobias adds.  “Now he keeps spending all our hard-stolen bitcoins on espresso mack... mach...”

“Espresso macchiato con panna,” Ax explains.  “Doppio.”

29. Cassie feels herself sweating as she props the laptop across the room from her, tools laid out and Ax unconscious on the table.  She never expected to find a YouTube video on how to perform brain surgery—and to be honest, it’s actually about “how neurosurgeons perform an orbitozygomatic craniotomy,” not intended to be a how-to manual—but it’s the best she can do under the circumstances, and so she’ll follow along for now.  

MM3.  “That’s the kind of strong leadership we need.”  Jake gestures to the full-color television (this year’s latest model) where a program of their current leader plays on a loop.  “Keeping the wrong kind of people out of this country, saving America for the right kind of Americans.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Rachel says.  She and Tobias and Jake are the only three Animorphs, except when Melissa joins them sometimes, and listening to their “Supreme Leader” blather on gets old sometimes.  “All I want to know is whether it’s true that within a few years people will really have phones that plug into their cars.  That’d be cool.”

Tobias rubs his eyes against the silk of his wing feathers.  They itch constantly, since he doesn’t have a gas mask to wear every time he goes out into the pollution-opaque air outside the way that his human friends do.  Jake and Rachel take bets sometimes, idly, brutally, about whether he’s the last raptor left on the face of the planet.

“Magnificent!”  Drode appears in their midst, and both the Berensons immediately point guns at his head.

30. Marco is lying on his bed the day after watching Eva fall, staring at a patch of wall above his dresser, when he registers that his phone has been buzzing for a while now.  It goes off so many times he assumes he has to be getting a call, but when he checks his notifications he just discovers he’s gotten seventeen text messages in the last hour.  

The first is from “Smurfette,” and says “Did you know that there is a type of food that involves baking a cinnamon bun inside of a donut?  We must secure as many of these as it is possible for a human to consume, as soon as possible!”

The next one, from “Hawkgirl,” reads: “found out recently that apparently ax still thinks you invented flea powder.  i told him that if youd invented flea powder wed all be a lot richer right now.”

“Team Dad” (not to be confused with “Real Dad,” which is how Marco lists Peter) sent along several invitations to team missions on League of Legends this afternoon, along with a threat to have Cassie play Marco’s avatar if Marco doesn’t join in.  “we both know that by the time you get back you’ll have only healing attacks and she’ll have trained it to apologize automatically for stabbing people,” Jake adds.

One of the many texts from “Julia Butterfly Hill” suggests that Jake has underestimated Cassie’s diabolical streak, because it’s a screenshot of a clone of his account which has had its name changed to HarambeWasFramed.

The real surprise, however, is the single text from “Xena: Warrior Princess.”  It’s a link to an article about a disaster in the local national park and the efforts to clean up the wreckage of an as-yet-unidentified craft which went down in the canyon.  Marco has to read it a few times to understand the point she’s making, because it’s all about what’s not there: the article makes no mention of any human bodies being found among the wreckage.  

Marco gets halfway through typing a reply to them all which informs them in no uncertain terms that he sees through their transparent attempts to cheer him up and doesn’t appreciate it, but he deletes without sending.  He can practically hear his mom’s voice saying it: he can focus on the fact that he’s still surrounded by people who love him, or he can focus on the negative side of everything.  And being constantly negative is no way to live.  

31. “Sharing this again, because its been 3 months,” Jake’s cousin Brooke posts on Facebook.  “Anyone who has any news at all about Saddler, no matter what it is, PLEASE contact my family.  Big brother, I dont know if youre still out there, but I miss you.  I miss you like crazy.”

Jake turns up his Spotify’s Offspring channel a little louder to drown out the sounds of Tom and his dad shouting at each other downstairs.  His eyes flinch past Brooke’s post, but they can’t move fast enough to prevent the thought that flashes across the surface of his mind: Is this going to be me a year from now?

32. Tobias texts Rachel and Jake an article from Audubon.Org, where several birdwatchers are going into ecstasies of scientific fascination at the bald eagle and peregrine falcon seen flying in close formation in a cell-phone video taken near a highway overpass downtown.  His only comment is, “Told you so.”

33.  In the aftermath, Rachel does a Google search: “PTSD treatment symptoms outcomes.”  She reads through the WebMD site, the NIMH page, the Wikipedia link to a DSM-5 entry.  She thinks of Tobias’s withdrawn silences, his antipathy toward so much they used to enjoy, but she thinks of other things as well.  How exhausted Jake seems any time they’re not on-mission.  How badly Cassie flinches when the school bell rings and doors slam.  How Ax seems to be gradually losing interest in the things—cooking shows, new condiments, human history trivia, These Messages—that once drew his fascination.  How last week Marco flicked an ant off the back of his hand and then went white like he’d just kicked a puppy.  How good it had felt when she’d hurt David, spreading the pain around, giving it back.

She catches an Uber to the clinic downtown, filling out forms in the waiting room based on the checklist written on her phone for “how to get tobias an ssri”: Yes, she often feels tense and worried.  Yes, her heart often races for no reason.  No, she hasn’t thought of ending her life.  No, she doesn’t feel out of control when she eats.  

She gets as far as developing a cover story—it’s about how she’s never felt the same since her parents’ divorce—but in the hallway to the office she panics and calls Cassie.  “Am I doing the right thing?” she asks, after she’s explained.

Cassie is silent for a long time, never a good sign.  “I’m not sure an SSRI would work on a bird,” she says at last, “and that’s even if we could figure out a dose that would work without killing him.  I know you want to help, and I think you should, but...”

Rachel hears what she’s not saying: but what if her mom asks too many questions?  But is this risk really worth it?  But what if the psychiatrist (the receptionist, the pharmacist) is a controller?  But isn’t it them, and only them, against the world, and isn’t that just how it has to be?

“The war won’t last forever,” Cassie says weakly, and Rachel hates her a little for it.  “When it’s over, when we get to tell everyone what’s happening...”

Rachel hangs up.  She goes home, morphs, and flies out to the woods.  

«You know I love you, right?» she asks Tobias later that evening.

«Of course I do.»  He sounds exhausted.  She’s never felt more helpless in her life.

34. The Yeerk Peace Movement, as it comes out, has a Twitter feed.  It is rather painfully obvious that it has been set up and run entirely by aliens who are doing their very best to communicate with humans, and not quite succeeding. Most of the posts are couplets, for some reason that none of the Animorphs can fathom.  

“Want to be On Fleek? When you see someone’s rights threatened, speak!”

“Don’t be a Belieber anymore - end slavery and even the score.”

“#tbt: Remember when we were symbiotes?  Give taxxon freedom your sympathy votes!”

“Nickelback is super lame, and keeping involuntary hosts is just the same.”

“Respect your host’s rights today, and make your human into your bae!”

35. It’s Marco who comes up with the idea for how to take down William Roger Tennant.  This is a guy, after all, whose cockatiels have their own Instagram account: he runs his fame on the internet.  

“It's simple,” Marco explains. “We start a hashtag—#notsonicetennant—and we make it go viral.  All we have to do is film this guy everywhere he goes, and eventually the yeerk will slip up.”

It proves not to be simple after all.  Their gif of Tennant twitching madly mid-EPA speech gets overshadowed by the news story about One Direction nearly getting poisoned with spiders at the same banquet. Ax does not understand the concept of hashtag, and keeps adding #notsonicetennant to his retweets of what Marco calls “food porn.” They train one of Tobias’s repurposed GoPros to follow poodle-Marco, but that becomes a meme mocking the world's most obnoxious stray dog rather than Tennant himself.

The plan finally, finally comes off when they pull out all the stops and just confront him in morph.  The smartphones that Rachel rigged up in the surrounding buildings don't pick up the thought speak, but the audio of Tennant screaming at the aliens to leave him alone comes through just fine.

When the scandal breaks, the internet (in truly predictable fashion) drops #notsonicetennant and starts using #tennantgate instead.  

Ax reposts an old photo of Tennant eating a quinoa salad—zoomed in on the salad—and tags it #tennantgate.  All of his teammates assure him they appreciate the attempt.

36. “All right, that’s just weird,” Marco says, looking at the final entry in the underwater creepshow they’ve been walking through for the past hour.  “All the other ships have been getting more modern as we’ve gone, but this one?  Looks like it was made in the sixties, at the latest.”

«The world’s creepiest museum curators are getting sloppy with the placement of bodies as well,» Tobias points out.  «There’s no way that many people could fit on a boat that small.  They’re practically falling over the sides.»

Jake and Cassie look at each other, seeing the same realization reflected in each other’s eyes.  Neither one of them wants to say it out loud.

Jake becomes the one to bite the bullet.  “Don’t you get it?”  He points to the ragged clothes, the emaciated bodies, the modern smartphone tucked in among the antiquated radio equipment.  “They were refugees.”

37. Rachel shuts the window on the library computer as soon as she hears someone walk into the room, but she can tell she was too late by the look on Jake’s face when she turns around.  

“Roy Ludvig, huh?” Jake says.  “Heck of a name.”

“He was at the T.V. studio when we attacked.”  Rachel looks down, picking at her nail polish.  “No civilians were supposed to be in danger.”

Jake’s expression softens, as much as it ever does.  “And now you’re scrolling through his Facebook, looking for something that’ll let you sleep at night.”  

“He’s got a grandson,” Rachel blurts.  “Jordan’s age.  He...”  She shrugs.  He’s dead, and it’s more or less her fault.

“Shouldn’t be looking on Facebook.”  Jake sets his phone on the library table next to her, taps the screen to bring up an official-looking report.  “You should be, say, borrowing my dad’s computer.  Sending an email from his account to ask for the guy’s medical records.  If you had, you’d know that Mr. Roy Ludvig had a heart condition.  That he had maybe a year to live, at most, and doctors said he might die at any old time.”

Rachel looks down at the report for a long time, and eventually looks up at Jake.  “Doesn’t make it okay, what I did,” she says.  “He’s still dead.”

Jake shrugs.  “You don’t have to forget it ever happened, but you do have to live with it.  Live, and fight another day.”

38. In the aftermath of Estrid's visit, Tobias is flying over the boardwalk when he sees a henna artist who clearly smokes way too much pot to be a Yeerk. He gets Ax, they morph human, and both get henna tattoos of Elfangor's name. (Ax had previously expressed an admiration for the human tradition of commemorating a lost loved one by making markings on one's body.) They know the tats will disappear when they demorph, but they're both glad they did it. The artist asks how long they've been together, and Tobias says in a scandalized voice, “he's my UNCLE!” Thus, Tobias succeeds in both of his goals: making Ax laugh, and reminding him he has family here on Earth. Honestly, the reminder doesn't hurt Tobias either.

39. “You know, not all squirrels are like that,” Marco is fond of saying after a morph goes wrong.  “Not all termites are horrifying worker drones.”  Sometimes it’s, “You know, some of my best friends are fleas.”

It’s Cassie, however, who gets the last laugh out of that one.  «You know, Marco,» she says as they swim away from the wreckage of the helicopter, «Not all ants are like that, right?  I shouldn’t say that all ants are killers, right?»

Marco stares at her in silence while the others snicker, watching him war between the two impulses: to keep the joke going forever, and to express his honest hatred of ants.  

«Come on.»  And now Rachel has joined in on the teasing.  «You’re just going to let that kind of besmirching of the ant community stand?»  

«Okay, okay!»  Marco gives in.  «Ants suck.  Yes, all ants!»

40. “Our experts have examined the video extensively, and near as we can conclude, this footage is genuine and unedited,” the newscaster says.  “Given how viral this video has proven to be, with over two million views since it was posted to YouTube on Wednesday, everyone wants to know: is this footage proof that aliens exist?  Is this a publicity stunt for the upcoming Fantastic Beasts sequel?  Or, as one YouTube commenter asks, did a Smurf just have sex with a centaur?”

«Potential new ally?» Tobias suggests.  He’s already tapping out a search for the original video in his modified tablet.

Ax laughs.  «Of course not.  He’s crippled.  A vecol.  Useless.  We must respect the privacy of his isolation.»

“You know what?  Fuck that,” Marco snaps.  He shoves to his feet, posture tight with anger.  “Just... Fuck that,” he tells Ax.  “I have ADHD.  Attention Deficit whateverthefuck.  I take a pill every morning to help me function because my brain isn’t good enough to filter stimuli all by itself.  I got a fucking 135 on the world’s most boring IQ test and I’m still failing half my classes.  I’m a vecol.  You think I’m useless, huh?  You gonna start refusing to talk to me because of some bullshit about ‘respecting’ my ‘privacy’?  Huh?”

«That’s different,» Ax says.  «You’re not...»  He doesn’t seem to know how to finish that sentence.  

«If he’s an exception, I hope I am too,» Tobias says more gently.  «I got screened for anxiety disorders as a kid, and I guess we’ll never know if I qualify or not, ‘cause my aunt decided that doctors cost money and if the test said I needed one then she didn’t want to know about it.»

Ax doesn’t answer for a long time.  He doesn’t seem to know where to look.  

«Let’s go tell the others what we found.»  Tobias taps a button to send the video to himself.  «We can talk more about this later.»

MM4. Tobias flinches when his phone makes the small ping sound that means he has an alert.  The new kid is the easy target in every school on the planet.  He wonders what it’ll be this time: another Facebook post where the semi-anonymous account Toby IsALoser tags him in another meme about how he has to pay people for sex because the sight of his body would make any normal girl run away screaming, another unnamed Instagram ping telling him he should kill himself so that no one has to look at his stupid fat face anymore, another Snapchat image of a puddle of vomit with the caption “me when I think of you,” an email with the most disgusting gif anyone could find after a quick search...

It’s not, though.  It’s an invite to join a private Facebook group, called The Sharing, with several hundred local members.  Most of the names Tobias recognizes are cool older kids from the high school.  Intrigued, willing to trust for the moment that this isn’t some ridiculously elaborate prank, Tobias clicks “join.”  

41. Jake looks around at the enormous open field, concrete pitted with openings and low hovels of corrugated steel and rebar.  He can see for nearly half a mile in every direction before the smog makes it impossible, and the tallest things around are the hunched hork-bajir.  “Where are we?” he asks.

Cassie frowns.  “This?  Jake, this is downtown Manhattan.”

He gapes at her.  “What happened to it?”

“Tall buildings are targets for drone strikes,” she says casually, turning away.  “The only way to be safe was to go underground.”

42. Marco doesn’t bother going to the house of the guy who photographed them, nor does he try to catch the kid before he uploads the video anywhere.  Instead he waits for the image to appear on YouTube, then becomes the first commenter.  “Sweet manip!” he says.  “Is that Photoshop, or can you do that in free programs like Gimp?”

43.  “EarthIsOurs-dot-tumblr-dot-com?” Marco says incredulously.  “What does Taylor do there, post pictures of her pet taxxon?  Reblog plans for planetary domination?”

«Judging from her archive history, she’s had this blog for many years,» Ax says.  «She recently changed the domain name, but some of the content on here is from as early as 2008.»

Jake and Marco get caught up in debating with Cassie about what exactly to send to her, but Tobias just scrolls quietly through Taylor’s old posts.  She didn’t lie about being beautiful, he realizes, or about being popular.  There’s a long blank period in her tumblr account in mid-2014.  And then she posted one selfie—just one—after the fire.  

He can’t bring himself to read the names that the trolls call her, or the discussions about how much money they’d have to be paid to have sex with her.  But there’s no overlooking the suggestions that she kill herself.  The posts are too numerous, too vitriolic.  

“Every chick ever to wander onto the internet has gotten that crap,” Rachel says; clearly she’s been reading over his shoulder.  “She should’ve developed thick skin, not joined the Sharing.”

Tobias thinks of the Facebook page made at his old school just to discuss the fact that he’s a chubby zit-face, of the posts which eventually overwhelmed his Instagram with death threats.  «Yeah, I guess,» he says.

44.  It takes a long time for Cassie to get home from Australia, but at least they’re not too worried for most of that time; she texts them her location and a brief description of the insanity that landed her in the Outback as soon as she gets in contact with Yami’s family.

45.  “None of this makes any sense,” Peter says.  “I’m hallucinating, or you’re delusional, or else—”

Marco sets his phone in Peter’s lap. “Check the timestamp, Dad.  I took that six months ago.”

Peter stares at the phone for a long minute, and then slowly looks up at Marco.  At a clear loss for words, he tilts his head back toward the screen.

“I know.”  Marco laughs, the sound wet with tears.  “That blond wig looks terrible on her.  But it’s really her, Dad.  I swear.”

46. “So they’re going to get the U.S. embroiled in another war,” Marco says.  “And this one with a country that can actually fight back.”

«Seems like,» Tobias says.  «Only why bother with all the secrecy and political wrangling?  Why not just send a couple mean tweets to Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un?  That’d probably do the job just as well.»

“No, it wouldn’t.”  Jake runs a hand through his hair, looking around at them all.  “The yeerks need a total war.  Everything the U.S. and its allies can pull out, against everything China and its allies can muster.  Our military has gotten too used to sending drones to fight its wars, to ‘tactical strikes’ against insurgents.  If the yeerks want half the species annihilated, they have to do a lot more than poke a couple of egos.”

47. “News flash,” Marco says.  “Your average suburbanite ain’t gonna accept a seven-foot-tall alien for a neighbor.  You know the number of times my mom’s been asked for proof of citizenship before she was allowed to vote or cash a paycheck or buy a car?  How many times she’s been pulled over by cops while driving the speed limit with her seatbelt on?  And she’s a regular old human being.  Toby’s right—the hork-bajir have a whole other fight coming if we ever win the war.”  

48. Rachel feels the blood drain from her face when she opens the Facebook message and sees the name attached.  David’s Facebook account has been defunct for almost two years now; there’s no one left who would want or even be able to access it from the outside.  Should be no one.

Miss me? the message from David’s account says.

Who are you? she types with shaking fingers.  What do you want?

I know what you did.  I’m coming for you.  I’ve got friends all over the place and they’ll find you.  They’ll kill you.  Amazing the allies you can get, when you know where the bodies are kept.  On the internet, no one knows you’re a—

Rachel hits “block.”  She tells herself that the screaming nightmares she has all that night and into the next are the product of having a stressful life, she’s an Animorph for pete’s sake.

She doesn’t stop shuddering every time she gets a message for the next two weeks, but she never hears from whoever (It wasn’t David. It couldn’t have been.) it was ever again.

49.  They stagger away from yet another hopeless fight, all of them injured, half of them missing limbs or bleeding to death.  Dragging their damaged bodies behind the first dumpster they find, they demorph, remorph, and force their minds to focus long enough for the long flight home.  It’s only when Rachel is in owl morph, staring around the dimly lit alleyway, that she sees the security camera pointed directly at their location.  

«They must not check it that often,» Marco says without much hope.  «Or else they’d be out here already to come looking for us.»

«Doesn’t matter,» Tobias says harshly.  «It had a perfectly clear view of all your human faces.  And that building is owned by the yeerks.»

They all stare at each other in dull shock as the realization sinks in.  They always knew this moment was coming—they could only be so careful for so long—and yet, on some level each of them hoped it never would.  

«Take one more night to be with your families,» Jake says at last.  «We evacuate everyone in the morning.»

Jake loses his phone, again, somewhere amidst all the chaos.  This time around he doesn’t bother to replace it.  It’s not like his mom is going to be wondering where he is, not anymore.  

50.  “So,” Jake says, “this is going to sound crazy, but—”

“Aliens are invading the planet, and you’re the only kid terrorist who can stop them?” James suggests.  “We do have wifi up here, you know.  You’re Jake Berenson, right?  You’re all over the conspiracy theorists’ forums right now.”

“Um.”  Jake runs a hand through his hair, starts again.  “Yeah, pretty much.”

James nods.  “In that case, you’ve got thirty seconds to convince me your story’s not a load of crap before I call security.”  

51. Ax secures their wifi in something a billion times better-hidden than Tor.  With that reassurance, they all end up starting blogs.

Marco’s is a rambling string of wry comments about everything from the invasion to his parents’ science projects.  Sample post: “Insider source (aka my mom): Visser Three has morphed human and eaten AN ENTIRE BAG OF MARSHMALLOWS in one sitting, ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION.  Pass it on!”

Jake’s is the place that people go to find out how they can help, and to get his reassurance that the help means something.  Sample post: “As Barack Obama says, ‘We the people recognize that we have responsibilities as well as rights; that our destinies are bound together; that a freedom without a commitment to others is unworthy of our founding ideals, and those who died in their defense.’  This fight will never be over just as long as we keep supporting each other.  I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you all for the KickStarter donations.”

Rachel’s has beauty tips for the American girl on the run, light and self-deprecating enough that you often don’t notice the undercurrent of desperation.  Sample post: “If you want to be able to look at yourself in the mirror, try fixing your hair using reflective surfaces such as pots, ponds, or pieces of Bug fighter wreckage.  Alternately, just say ‘fuck it’ and never look at yourself again.”

Cassie’s tells people how to stay safe, and how to keep their environments safe as well.  Sample post: “Everyone please remember, it’s important to stock enough food and water for family pets as well as humans when retreating to an apocalypse bunker!”

Tobias’s has a lot of good-natured grumbling about everyday life in the valley.  Sample post: “In other news, my girlfriend’s mom is currently arguing with the smartest being on the face of the planet about where to put the new latrine facilities.  Sorry Naomi, but my money’s on Toby.”

Ax’s has a lot of food reviews, of course, but again there’s that undercurrent of desperation, almost like he’s trying to convince someone else (or maybe even himself) that humans are worth saving.  Sample post: “Marco assures me that there are no less than 23 distinct flavors contained within every sip of Dr. Pepper.  Just think of the years of experimentation and innovation it must have required to produce a drink which can inspire 23 different reactions from human taste buds, all at the same time.  Truly inspired genius.”

52. They run drills upon drills for what to do in case of a drone strike.  Using any morphs they have that can dig or build—mole, taxxon, elephant, beaver—the Animorphs create an extensive network of tunnels and shelters, posting guards at all times to keep their eyes on the sky.  The hork-bajir valley doesn’t show up on satellite imagery, which they only know thanks to Peter’s definitely-illegal fact-gathering missions on the darkweb, but they don’t know for sure whether an overhead camera would be subject to the same strange perceptual distortions they all experience when flying there as birds.  They nearly lose their precious secrecy when Naomi sends several emails from her work account, claiming she’s being held hostage and asking anyone who will listen to come rescue her.  Eva generates a hasty follow-up from the same account asking people to ignore “the prank that I now realize was in poor taste,” but none of them are sure it worked for the next several days.  

53. Rachel makes one last post on her nearly-extinct Instagram account.  This time the scrap of paper she uses appears to be torn from the back of a food label, but the penciled script is as intricate as ever.  It reads “Who wants to live forever? —Freddie Mercury, 1986”  

54. After it’s all over, Tobias retreats, he hides, but he keeps a thread of communication open.  Cassie shoots him an email with the subject line “Hawk patient with intermittent aggression and lethargy—any idea what could be causing it?”  Marco sends him idiotic memes that now feature the Animorphs’ names and faces.  Ax asks for constant updates on the new wing of Taco Bell being built downtown, and repays the favor by leaking confidential information about the search for the Blade ship.

And then he gets one of the stranger emails he’s ever received.  It’s an offer of a full legacy scholarship to Harvard University (which has just found the means to explain some inconsistencies in the records of one “Alan Fangor,” who graduated in the ‘80s) in exchange for Tobias teaching one class per semester on any subject of his choice.  He agrees, with the stipulation that all his classes be online.

The resultant course (Ornithology 442: An Insider’s Perspective) is like nothing the students who participate have ever seen before.  Tobias will write out rambling treatises on Why Blue Jays Suck or All the Ways Hawks Are Superior to Eagles with a thought-speak-to-text recorder.  He’ll deliver online lectures from a shaky webcam pointed into a nonspecific tree, occasionally wandering off for hours at a time to go hunting.  Students who ask him personal questions about Rachel get regurgitated mouse skeletons Fed-Exed to their campus mailboxes.  Essays that don’t demonstrate much effort get feedback such as “even I can tell this sucks and I have a seventh-grade education” or “my grandmother could make better sentences than this AND SHE’S AN ANDALITE WHO DOESN’T SPEAK ENGLISH.”  Assignments include “find one bird fact in a textbook and explain why it’s a load of crap” or “go film a Boston pigeon until it does something interesting, I dare you.”

Nevertheless, enrollment is so popular that Harvard has a three-year waiting list and charges students an extra $500 just to sign up.  When Tobias finds out about the extra fee, he promptly video-calls the Intrepid, gives Ax remote access to his computer, and explains why he needs Ax to convert the course illegally to a MOOC.  Harvard University fires him for breach of contract; Yale hires him on that very same afternoon.  

part 1 here 

[stopsubstanceabuse1-blog]

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