#and i guess. i impress myself with how strong my creep vibes are because of this.

[deerest-me]

is my solitude romantic or pathetic? who knows

[coll2mitts]

#77 Grease (1978)

Slick your hair back and grab your team jacket, we’re hand-jiving our way through Grease, a movie about bunch of hot, self-motivated ladies with their whole futures ahead of them settling for a bunch of schmucks.

Grease is a strange experience to relive as an adult, because it was (as I suspect with a lot of people) ever-present in my childhood, and I didn’t understand the great majority of references then.  This movie was intended as an 8th birthday present from my mother; I came home from school one day and the VHS was sitting on our kitchen countertop unwrapped.  I didn’t recognize it, so when I asked my mom what it was, she feigned confusion for about 10 seconds before she gave up and said, “I bought it for your birthday, I guess you get it early now.”  She promised me I’d like it when I popped it into the VHS player, and she wasn’t wrong.  I hadn’t watched this movie in over a decade and I still could recite the majority of the dialogue.

While this movie is a toned down significantly from the stage show, it is still fairly raunchy in parts.  What is kind of hilarious to me is Grease’s gradual shift in categorization over time as a “kids musical”.  In 5th grade, my sister played Sandy in her elementary school’s production of it.  I asked if she remembered any of the lines they changed to keep things “appropriate” (the Kidz Bopification, if you will) and she responded, “No, I just thought it was weird I had to go out and buy a sexy outfit.”  Conversely, my 5th grade play was about the history of America and I dressed up like Martha Washington.  I’ll never forget the 50 Nifty United States from 13 original colonies... SHOUT ‘em, SCOUT ‘em, TELL all about 'em, ONE BY ONE till we’ve given a day to every state in the U-S-A.  AL-A-bama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, CON-NE-TI-CUT...

Anyway, do I think it’s weird that a movie about a bunch of horny teenagers has become Baby’s First Adult Musical?  Sorta.  Not really.  I mean, the dudes act like children for the majority of this, so I’m not surprised, at least.  It had, for sure, turned me off from wanting to date high school dudes when I was in high school.  The high school girls, however... we’ll get there.

It’s the first day of school, and the oldest high school seniors I’ve ever seen are poised to take on their last year at Rydell High.  The “T” Birds and their very uncool matching jackets are reunited after a summer apart and their super-senior leader Kenickie, played by the late Jeff Conaway, regales the tale of lugging boxes to earn money for a sweet ride, which you could feasibly do back in the 1950s.  Danny, played by John Travolta, spent his summer getting action at the beach, which he eloquently describes as “flippin’”.  

Frenchy and her new neighbor Sandy rendezvous with the Pink Ladies, who have very cool matching jackets and the unabashed confidence to go with them.  Stockard Channing, who plays Rizzo, is turned off by Sandy’s pure, seemingly holier-than-thou persona, and is dismayed when Sandy starts to describe her sickly sweet summer romance.  Her interest is only piqued when Sandy mentions her hunky date was notorious playboy and Rizzo’s ex, Danny Zuko.  

Sidenote: When I was a child, I thought Sonny asked if her “jugs were bigger than her nets”.  I asked my mother what “nets” were, since I surmised that jugs meant breasts, and she didn’t know, which I thought was weird.  It wasn’t until THIS MOMENT that I realized he was asking if her jugs were bigger than Annette’s.  Who the fuck is Annette?  Like the Mickey Mouseketeer Annette?!  Rizzo sings about her later and I’m just like.. this revelation has lead to more questions than answers.

Rizzo hatches a plan to call Danny out on his shit and reunite Sandy with Danny at the school pep rally, as they know her boyfriend is an asshat.  He predictably reacts maturely; Not wanting to admit his previous story of getting fresh with some cute Australian girl down in the sand was somewhat hyperbolic, he plays it off like he doesn’t give a shit about her, reducing Sandy to tears.  Frenchy comforts Sandy like the supportive queen that she is and invites her to join the Pink Ladies at a sleepover.

Honestly, a Pink Ladies sleepover looks lit as fuck.  As a kid (and now, tbh) I was Jan, I wanted to be Marty, I wanted to fuck Rizzo, and I wanted Frenchy as my best friend.  I would totally be down to drink champagne, eat Twinkies and mutilate our body parts with needles.  Sandy is a bit of a late bloomer and reacts to these series of events by puking.  Rizzo decides to be a bit of a slag and make fun of Sandy for being an inexperienced virgin before shimming down a drainpipe to get laid by some jerk with a shitty car and a 6-year-old condom.

Sandy, whose night has done nothing to alleviate her heartbreak, sings a song about being in love with a coward.  Part of the deal Oliva Newton-John signed to be cast in this movie specified she have her own solo number, so “Hopelessly Devoted” was written and filmed after the rest of the movie had been completed.  This feel pretty obvious, since it gives off a very strong 1970s pop Best Original Song vibe.  When I was a kid, I used this song as a break to use the bathroom or grab a snack, but as an adult I find myself humming it every so often.

Speaking of contract-obligated solos, we’re treated to a Travolta-led “Greased Lightning”, which I always thought was weird, cause like, who is going to sing a song about their friend getting tit in their sweet car?  Jeff Conaway played Danny on Broadway, he deserved better...  Also, I’m CONVINCED this song got the Pop-Up Video treatment, but couldn’t find it online anywhere.  Otherwise, how the hell else would the fact that they thought John Travolta putting the saran wrap on his crotch was too racy live rent free in my head for like 20 years?

After encountering Sandy on a date with a jock, Danny decides he’s going to join a sports team to prove to her he can be a motivated team player.  Instead, he just physically assaults several members of his school, but it’s fine because he’s wearing a uniform when he does it.  This is enough to impress Sandy, as she accepts Danny’s invitation to the school dance.

The other gang members are going through their own drama, as Rizzo is sick of giving it up to Kenickie without receiving a modicum of respect.  

“A hickey from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card.  When you care enough to send the very best.”

Danny regresses and continues to act like a shithead to Sandy in front of her friends.

“I don’t like tea.” “You don’t have to drink tea!” “Well, I don’t like parents.”

Jan and Putzie begin an innocent and adorable romance, which proves it’s possible to start off a relationship with mutual respect, even if your friends make fun of you for it.

“I also think there’s more to you than just fat.” “...Thanks.”

I love this scene, there’s so many good lines.

Frenchy, who had dropped out of Rydell to pursue a career in cosmetology, is also in crisis as her stint in beauty school went very poorly.  After hours, she somehow hallucinates Frankie Avalon advising her to get her high school degree.

As a child, I was so proud of myself when I realized all these women played other roles in the movie, as if facial recognition was an important skill.

The day of the big dance finally arrives, as National Bandstand comes to Rydell High with roofie-wielding predator and television host Vince Fontaine.  Rizzo arrives with the leader of the rival gang, while Kenickie has his best girl, Cha Cha, as his date, because they are both very well-adjusted teenagers that know how to work through conflict by communicating and not using desperate attempts to make each other jealous.  Danny and Sandy are cutting up a rug until Sonny attempts to physically assault Sandy, and Danny just lets it happen because another one of his exes, Cha Cha, starts to dance with him while Sandy is rebuffing Sonny’s advances.  Cha Cha and Danny subsequently win the contest.  Honestly, this is so fucked up, I would have dropped Danny after this lapse of good judgement.

But no, Sandy still allows him to take her on a date to the drive-in, and it’s not until he elbows her in the boob and then tries to cop a feel in front of everybody that she finally blows him off.  Then he has the absolute gall to act emo about it because he’s afraid people will think he’s a loser.  Jesus Christ.

Kenickie is also hurting, as he discovers that Rizzo is pregnant and she doesn’t want anything to do with him, regardless of what being an unwed mother will do to her reputation.  He decides to process these emotions by racing Greased Lighting for pink slips, as he likes to live his life a quarter mile at a time.  Unfortunately, Danny steals Kenickie’s thunder (road) yet again, as he’s forced to take his place in the race because of a car door-related closed head injury.  Sandy is impressed by Danny’s driving skillz and decides to sex herself up for an unreliable and emotionally manipulative teenager.  Danny has a similar inclination and decides to put on a nice sweater to win Sandy back, which is something, I guess.  They declare they’re the one each other needs, oh yes indeed.

The school year ends, and all the boys end up paired with the girls.  Rizzo finds out she’s not pregnant and reunites with Kenickie?!  Marty ends up with Sonny even though he’s a handsy creep.  Danny and Sandy are just an mess with incompatible expectations of each other.  But at least Jan and Putzie and Frenchy and Doodie are fairly inoffensive.  The end.

This movie is great, even all these years later.  The entire cast is fantastic, even those with smaller bit parts.  I was *living* for the school staff, Principal McGee and Coach Calhoun especially.  Grease also jump started my lifelong love for Stockard Channing.  She’s great in The West Wing, but her part as Sister Husband in Where the Heart Is may be my favorite performance of hers.  I’ve watched that movie so many times I can’t even call it a guilty pleasure, I love it so much.

Olivia Newton-John wasn’t even sure she wanted to be in this movie and requested a screen test so she could see if she was good at acting.  John Travolta was enamored with her and helped convince Olivia she was perfect for the part, and he wasn’t wrong.  She gives such a strong performance as Sandy; I bought her transformation from clean-cut cinnamon roll to sexpot completely.  John Travolta was also unbelievably charming as Danny, and I found myself giggling at his line deliveries constantly.

The songs are also unbelievably catchy (albeit somewhat annoying after you’ve heard them 700 times).  Barry Gibb, my favorite Pras-adjacent composer, wrote the theme for the movie and it just bops so hard.  As a well-documented detractor of Doo Wop music, there’s not a whole lot else here for me, but that’s not going to blind me to the excellence of this soundtrack.  There is a reason this movie is revered as much as it is.  10/10, fun for the whole family, as long as the kids don’t understand the references.

[btshodown]

STF - Tidal Wave

↳ “ Finally cashing in your vacation time and heading out to a little island off the coast becomes so much more than what you were expecting. A cute surfer by the name Taehyung decides he wants to show you what its like on his side of the waves.”

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader Genre/Warnings: Mainly comedy with sprinkles of fluff and sexual themes Word Count: 1,829 Tags: @hadskye

➭ Huehuehue...this all sprang from a message Admin RD sent to me about this gif and the surfer vibes Tae gave out. So tada~ This will be a mini drabble series of segments of the reader and Surfer Tae as they get to know one another. 

The heat of the sun warms your skin pleasantly as your bare feet sink into the tepid sand; your eyes searching for the perfect spot to set your towel to begin sunbathing. The sudden increase in heat lately made for the optimal time to spend on the beach to try and find some coolness on your normally scorching days holed up in a temperate room testing synthetic skin. The company you worked in began a breakthrough in the newest technology and with a nice, hefty donation, finally had the financial means to carry on with numerous testing.

The pay was very, very, generous, but your time to yourself and friends became limited when you were one of the few to get promoted to begin the experimentation. Although, with finally having enough vacation hours accrued from the years working at the company, you couldn’t have fled fast enough for a month long time off.

So here you were in a small island off the coast and having arrived just an hour prior, you excitedly find a spot on the sand; about a yard away from any other people visiting the beach. With a satisfied huff, you plop onto your towel and pull off the knitted dress covering your bathing suit, slowly applying sunblock with a hum. As you did so, you let your eyes discretely glance around the people speckled across the beach behind your sunglasses. You idly wonder about what stresses each person was running away from when you spotted him.

It was like looking at the sun with how bright his blonde hair shined. His caramel skin glowed against the rippling water of the waves and you swore you had never seen someone so ethereal before. There was no denying that the man before you could very well be Poseidon; the waves seemed to naturally curve around his feet. That’s not even to mention your awe sparkling further when you see him dive into the water with a surfboard you hadn’t noticed, and began paddling his way out further into the clear waves. You really didn’t want to become a creeper just staring at the man, but it was incredibly difficult not to do so; especially when his skin tight, long sleeved shirt left your mouth to salivate wondering what was underneath.

With hurried motions, you begin setting the rest of your things into place to fully appreciate the view gifted to you and with a pillow resting against your tiny cooler, you finally settle in. Your body now propped into position, it was easier to gaze at the man’s impressive figure as his strong legs balanced on the surfboard and navigated him gracefully through the clear waves. Perhaps you were being a bit too much when you reach around to take out a chilled Smirnoff Ice bottle from your cooler and sip on it to watch the surfer, but you wouldn’t let yourself think about it too much.

This is was your time to finally relax and this gorgeous siren of a man was unwittingly giving you a beautiful scenic view to enjoy while you did so. And oh my, those wet shorts were working extra hard to cling onto his ass so as to not fall off with the powerful bashing of the ocean’s waves; you silently prayed to Neptune to let them slip off.

You were in the middle of appraising his rather large feet and wondering if those were proportionate to something, when those same bare feet were suddenly making their way to you and made your tongue feel like sandpaper. Your nerves were like a live wire as his figure is fast approaching, not letting your reassurances of him not coming to you specifically when his strides are utterly leading him to you. What could he possibly want to say to you? Surely he hadn’t been able to see how you were openly staring at him with your sunglasses on, had he? Oh god, what if he had and he was on his way to cuss you out for being a creep? Was it too late to pack up your things and quickly flee?

Finally he got to where you were while you panicked silently and stopped before the towel you were sat on; his looming shadow easily engulfing your figure. His mocha eyes bore into your own despite the cover of your sunglasses and you have to clench your fists to avoid popping your mouth open in awe. His tongue flicks out to wet his lips as he finally opens them to speak to you, and all you could do is hang by a thread to await his impactful words.

“Su’ dude.”

So bewitched by the deep timbre of his molten chocolate voice, it took a few seconds for your brain to process his words and when it did, you swear your soul shriveled just a tad. All this anticipation and mystery, just for him to utter that? You’d be lying if you weren’t a little disappointed, and sure that made you a bit of a judgmental jerk, but you preferred your men to be a little intelligent. You wanted someone to stimulate you in invigorating conversations and keep up with your ever moving thoughts; so perhaps you could pretend as if you didn’t hear him.

“Um, so I kinda noticed you staring at me and honestly, you’re really pretty so I couldn’t help myself. I’d remember a face like yours, you new to the area or visiting?”

Well shit, he was more charming than what you thought as he easily squats by you and flashes you an endearing smile that looked a bit rectangular. Not only that, but he completely caught you red-handed and called you out on your ogling, making your cheeks brighten in embarrassment. Despite that though, there wasn’t anything arrogant about the way he just now spoke to you, only truthfully honest and sincere. Would it be such a bad thing to simply talk to him in spite of your previous judgements?

“V-Visting,” you clear your throat at your stutter and try to even out your nerves, “and please don’t misunderstand, I wasn’t staring at you. The ocean is just very…beautiful to look at.”

A dark brow rises at your statement and the simple action has your insides squirming, even more so when his lips slowly quirk to form a knowing smirk. Well crap, maybe you had judged much too harshly because it seemed as if the stranger before you was much more perceptive than what you had given him credit for.

“You sure bout’ that?” his voiced lowered just a bit as his eyes disarmingly caught yours in an intense stare. “Cause from where I was it seemed like you were looking at something other than the ocean’s beauty.”

Your eyes widen comically and while your sunglasses covered your surprise, your mouth opening did not, and if his smirk turning into a grin was anything to go by, he had noticed the effect his words had. “Yeah, w-well, things aren’t always what they seem,” you manage to choke out a bit indignantly.

A weird look crosses his handsome face as his eyes beseech yours, no doubt wanting to take off your shades and see your whole face, but instead his lips form into a small smile. “Yeah, guess they aren’t.”

You fidget under his intense scrutiny and silently finish off your drink, putting the glass bottle away in your cooler behind you as you try to ignore his eyes following you. “So, uh, you’re really good at surfing. I’m assuming you live here?”

“Thanks and you’d assume right. I would visit this little island a lot with family when I was younger and decided to just move here. So now I teach little kids how to surf as a job,” he blinks suddenly as if remembering something before smiling sheepishly, “I’m Taehyung by the way. What’s your name beautiful?”

Your own brow rises at this, both from the mini back story of how he came to live here and the mention of his name, but with his compliment you flush again and finally remove your sunglasses. His skin looked even more radiant without the color distortion from your shades and it made your breath hitch as his eyes almost greedily drink in your unobscured face. Now, your confidence was by no means lacking, even if you weren’t pretty to everyone, you knew your worth; but with someone as attractive as the man beside you, it made your confidence tremble.

“Y/N,” your voice comes out more self-assured than you felt on the inside and you hold onto that feeling, hoping to calm your nerves, “But…teaching kids how to surf is your job?” At his nod, your lips twitch and your head tilts to the side in false innocence. “So…you’re a beach bum then?”

Finally, his own confidence shakes as his mouth pops open at your slight insult and seeing it, it only made your own grin emerge. You were mainly teasing, but the small judgmental part of you prayed he wasn’t actually a beach bum. It’d be such a horrible mood spoiler if he was.

“What? No, no! I’ll have you know that my surfing class has a waiting list, mainly by single mom’s which is weird,” his vehemence slowly fades out into slight confusion in the end as he stays silent for half a second before focusing back on you with a small pout, “but I am not a beach bum. I even live in a really nice apartment on the ocean front!”

A small snort escapes you at your poor attempt to not laugh and his small frown lets you know it’s not appreciated, but it held no heat despite it. So far, you had to admit to your pride that you misjudged the man before you; he was so much more complex and enigmatic than you originally believed. Truly, the first day of your vacation was going better than you had ever hoped for.

“Right,” your tone was sarcastic and teasing.

His pout deepens as he leans in closer to you, catching you off guard as his childlike anger dissipates just as quickly as it came and instead the intensity from before returns. His deep, brown eyes pull you in like tidal wave and you’re powerless against it. “Let me prove it to you then. Come with me to my apartment so I can show you.”

Your teeth quickly catch your bottom lip as his words ignite a simmering fire in your veins, warming you from the inside as your lips twitch into a coy smile. “Okay, show me then.”

His devilish grin is enough to have you in a daze and euphoria to begin bubbling under your skin, the anticipation of your vacation heading in a different direction than what you had imagined nearly crippling you. After all, summer was all about throwing away inhibitions and taking every opportunity that came at you, right?

[goron-king-darunia]

Tagged (by vague gesture of “if you wanna do it, TAG!”) by @biophilie like, 2 years ago, so I’m finally doing it. Rules: Choose any three fandoms and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better.

My Three Fandoms: Legend of Zelda, Tales of Symphonia DotNW, and One Piece since those 3 have taken up big chunks of my attention over the years. Would do Darkwood since it’s a current interest but since there are so few characters, it would make the meme here harder so... Darkwood will have to wait.

The first character you loved: LoZ: I was a slut for Link as a kid, TBF I liked most protagonists, but I liked Link a LOT. DotNW: I actually liked Ratatosk a lot at first because he was cool and mysterious and tough! My first impulse was really liking Richter’s design but the first character I loved/really liked based on gameplay and actual characterization was Ratatosk. One Piece: I really liked Red Haired Shanks and was sad when he didn’t really show up again for a LONG time.

The character you never expected to love so much: Loz: There’s a few so I’m gonna cheat a bit. In OoT and MM, Ruto and Skull Kid were just kind of characters that existed but I didn’t like much. Didn’t actively dislike them but didn’t really bother taking an interest in them. But I like them a lot more now, especially with how they’re characterized in “non-canon” material like the Manga and Hyrule Warriors. The only other character I can recall from the game series that I was surprised that I liked was Peatrice from Skyward Sword. At first it was just like “Oh, yeah, she’s just the girl who stores your items, whatever. She’s neat I guess.” But then she started changing. She got more cheerful when Link came around more and showed an interest in him and when she asked if he liked her I just couldn’t say no! And then she just became so obnoxiously bubbly and happy about it and I LOVED THAT SO MUCH. Unironically I ship Peatrice and SS Link because, like, Link and Zelda are great friends but they don’t interact much since Link has to try to save her and Zelda has goddess things to worry about. Peatrice is just always there and unlike Zelda who already has a good rapport with Link at the start of the game, you get to SEE Peatrice warming up to him and I am SO soft for that! SO SOFT! Actually, one more also from SS. Groose. He’s an obnoxious, selfish, gloating bastard man, but by the end of the game with all the changes he went through, he totally grew on me as a cool dude. Especially with how he and Impa got along.  DotNW: Slight cheat here too since the character didn’t debut in the game but... Colette. I honestly didn’t like her that much in Symphonia. I just kind of viewed her as an object that motivated Lloyd for a while and the impetus for everything happening in the game and it wasn’t until the end of Symphonia that I really started thinking of her as more than just a ditz that Lloyd happens to like. I’m not really sure when it happened but I started really appreciating her after DotNW, and not really because of anything she did. I guess I just eventually noticed a lot of her finer points and all the ways she contributed and how her kindness is actually super refreshing and hopeful and how soft that is considering what she’d gone through. See also my next point on Nami because hooo boy I was kind of a shitlord kid and needed to get through some things... One Piece: Nami. I HAAAATED her when I was young. Partially because of internalized sexism (probably shit I learned from sexist media, my dad, and just the lack of trust I had for any girl that wasn’t my friend because of massive bullying as a kid, but I digress.) and partially because one of the biggest parts of Nami’s arc early on was her utter betrayal of the crew. Like, we find out WHY later, and obviously I TOTALLY get where she was coming from now and all but as a kid that was just UNCALLED FOR. I also HEAVILY viewed her as the “no fun allowed” type that was actively impeding my new fave, Luffy, from having all the fun he could want because that shit costs money and the money is HERS. As a broke Millenial, I now 10000000% get where Nami is coming from and her financial responsibility is honestly hella impressive because she absolutely DOES NOT withhold the treasure from the rest of the crew, she fucking BUDGETS it. In general, I tended to dislike a lot of leading females for being catty or killjoys or a lot of other things when honestly, they were just being completely normal humans. Glad I grew out of that shit because while Nami still isn’t my fave, she’s fucking amazing.

The character you relate to the most: Loz: It’s changed over the years. I relate to Ruto a lot more now because yo, I would also just fuck off into the gut of my people’s patron Deity if my dad was being a pain and trying to marry me off (okay, so this is Manga exclusive, sue me) and 10/10 would give a precious family heirloom to a cute boy that rescued me. But more than that, IDK, she’s just... a lil’ spoiled but in a cute way, a lil’ tomboyish, but overall, for a Princess, she’s just kind of doing her thing, she’s responsible when it matters. But for OoT, y’all KNOW Darunia is my patronus because DAYUM. Chunky but strong (I’m a wuss but shut up), Grumpy butt but cares about his people, actually totes a fun dude when he’s not stressed about a food crisis, says “fuck you” directly to a fucking evil asshole despite the consequences, treats a fucking 11 year old kid like a full human being (I do not agree with leveraging a kid to fucking fight a dragon but... Link could handle it so...) names his own kid after Link because why the fuck not, befriends anyone that does him a favor and treats them like family. Dude’s just got chill old man vibes and I dig that shit. 10/10 relate to just being a fat dude that is grumpy but also wants to befriend everyone. HOWEVER, I think my top tier relatable character is Midna from Twilight Princess because that bitch is just me. Cursed to be a hot bitch trapped in a cute chunky body (I am working on myself. XD) 10/10 spoiled and bitchy as fuck, cheeky lil’ asshole who’s actually very sweet, think’s Link is dumb but also cute, cares about her world but ALSO cares about Link’s world, a lil’ selfish but also HELLA selfless because she cared more about Link and Zelda than her own life and cared more about her people than her own safety because she just fucking WENT TO FIX THAT SHIT when Zant started causing trouble, even though she didn’t have to. She’s everything I am or aspire to be. 10/10 one of the best Zelda characters. DotNW: Hard to say. I identify a lot with aspects of Richter, Aster, and Emil. I don’t have a lot of self confidence and am a bit of a shy bean, lil’ grumpy, but also a complete goober and an idealist, 10/10 would walk into hell for someone I love without thinking twice and would make deals with demons to try to save someone I care about because I am a dumbass. I love the DotNW boys because the DotNW boys are me. One Piece: Chopper. I just really fucking vibe with the whole “nobody likes me EXCEPT HOLY SHIT SOME PEOPLE SOMEHOW LIKE ME, WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT?” thing he has going on, as well as the whole glutton for praise but telling people to shut up when they praise me thing he has. I for real wanted to be a doctor when I was younger BECAUSE of Chopper. I’m just a weird little bean that doesn’t fit in anywhere very well while also being a slut for praise and wanting to take care of others and help them because other people have cared for me. Low key also vibe with Usopp because dude absolutely gels with kids, is a huge fucking wuss but deals with it anyway, will literally fight someone over petty shit and then come back and fight side by side with his bud’s again.

The character you’d slap: LoZ: Mmmmm. Hard to say. Like, obvs the villains but IDK who else I’d really want to slap? Does it count if I want to slap Anjuu/the Cucco Lady but, like... gentle and on the butt and in a sexy way? IDK, man. I’d feel bad but maybe Slap Mido? He looks like a kid so I’d feel REALLY bad for it, but aren’t Kokiri literally just kids forever? Asshole could be 100 years old, man... Either way he’s kinda a brat. 10/10 would slap early-game Groose from Skyward Sword also, but I’d feel bad about it because he ends up being a decen guy later. Also would slap Ghirahim for being both sexy and evil. DotNW: Alice for deciding that “never being weak again” means treating everyone else like garbage, even though I 1000% get where she’s coming from. Richter for being a fucking dumbass and not asking for help and deciding that demons were a good option and manipulating a child older dude with a magic core was a great idea even though I would do the exact same thing in his shoes. Ratatosk for being a murderous prick and starting the whole thing even though I absolutely understand where he’s coming from and I would also probably accidentally smite someone if I was a fucking spirit and in a shit mood because the only thing I really cared about was fucking ripped away from me. Honestly, mostly just me slapping people that remind me of me for doing exactly what I would do. Sensible me slapping actual me because actual me is a fucking dumbass emotional bitch with violent tendencies. One Piece: The fucking villains, obviously, Dr. Hililuck/Hiriluck for being a fucking bastard in the manga, holy shit was he an asshole! And also FUCKING SANJI. Jesus fuck, I am not over the pervy shit he does, what a creep.

Three favourite characters (in order of preference): LoZ: This is gonna be REAL hard because I love a lot of characters so... Midna, Link, and Darunia? It’s hard man. I love a lot of characters SO MUCH and it’s really hard to pick faves! DotNW: Richter, Emil, Aster. Emil and Aster share the same level of favoritism, but Richter is my number one. One Piece: Chopper, Zoro, Luffy. I used to like Luffy way more than I do now, but he’s still a fucking dork and I still like him tons.

A character you liked at first but don’t anymore: LoZ: I can’t really think of any, but I guess the character I waffle on a bit is Malon. Sometimes she’s like “Heck yeah! FAVE!” and sometimes I’m like “Eh, she exists...” IDK, I really like most of the characters. DotNW: I used to like Zelos a lot, but not anymore. Yeah this is kinda cheating since he ALSO didn’t debut in DotNW, but he’s in it so... TBF I like him in DotNW BETTER than in the first Symphonia, but not as much as I used to like him overall. One Piece: Fucking Sanji. I used to like him before the creepy factor set in. What really hit home for me was the Thriller Bark arc where he outright says he wanted the power of invisibility to creep on girls. Fucking nasty. The womanizing thing was just a quirk before that. I don’t think I’m ever gonna be over it. So gross and creepy now knowing he actively thought about creeping on girls using a special power. I know guys say this is a common thing and just how dudes are but no. That’s fucking sick. It’s one thing to say “yeah, I want to oggle women because tiddies are sexy” or whatever. It’s another thing to say “I WANT TO SPY ON WOMEN WITHOUT THEM KNOWING SO I CAN SEE TIDDY.” and it’s a third thing to say that IN A WORLD WHERE IT IS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE TO BE INVISIBLE that you WOULD USE THAT POWER TO STARE AT WOMEN WITHOUT THEM KNOWING.

Three otps: LoZ: Link and basically everyone, but let’s narrow that. Link and Zelda is a classic, Link and Ruto is a guilty pleasure, Link and Peatrice is the underdog ship that I dig a lot. DotNW: Every combo of Richter, Emil, and Aster, enough said. One Piece: Luffy and food because he’s Ace, just let him fucking eat. Zoro and whoever he ends up liking. Tashigi maybe. Chopper and Milky.

Tagging: Anyone that wants to do it~