#and i guess at the very least if im just imagining everything i can say

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

[arolesbianism]

I love drawing Aris as sif so much she's so cutsies. It almost makes up for the horrors of having to draw her as sif. Almost.

[feelo-fick]

Au where eating the demons desire makes Laios immortal

Demons Curse

—

WHYYYYY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS TO MEEEEEEE WHYYYY SNIFF SNIFF IM SO SAD. IMS O SAD. I DREW THIS WHILE FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS. uaogh okay let me get my thoughts out about this

i originally was sorta happy in a bittersweet way cause i thought, well at least marcille has company, they have eachother to lean on now!

...but then i realized marcille isnt immortal. shes gonna live LONG, but shes not immortal. AND I GOT SO EXTREMELY SAD

can you imagine, trying to convince your friend not to extend everyones lifespans to a scarily long degree. and then having to help her deal with that fear and grief of losing her loved ones. AND THEN REALIZING YOURE IMMORTAL AND OUTLIVING ALL OF YOUR LOVED ONES INCLUDING HER. imagine being marcille as she gets older watching laios experience the same exact fear and grief she knows so well and knowing she cant do anything other than reassure him itll be alright. imagine being so scared to die and now suddenly you know someone who CANT die and realizing thats SO MUCH WORSE paces in circles. AAAAAAUGH

additional thought of this au, what if this was part of the demons curse to never allow laios' greatest desire to be granted? i mean laios is a very simple guy with simple wants, he wants to be loved, to eat good food, to study monsters, to be around his friends, and generally just live a normal life. being immortal would definitely complicate things... he'll be able to see and experience so many things but he wont be able to do it with his loved ones, not for long.

and also, being king, he'd probably be in that position for a long long time - maybe he'd willingly retire at some point but even after that where would he go then? what would he do? he cant go and find monsters to study, they all avoid him. i guess, explore the rest of the world? watch everything move on without him?

speaking of, imagine if he lived up until a time like modern day. so many years so many friends (gained and lost) and so many changes... that would be insane. THIS IS SPIRALLING INTO ME JUST GOING "WOULDNT IT BE FUCKED UP TO BE IMMORTAL" AJDNSJXBAH

anyways, final note, im reminded too of this "hand my my shovel, im going in!" animatic that haunts my mind forever AUGH its so good, and captures my immortality thoughts perfectly

[queenie-the-court-jester]

circus x gn!reader

ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please, raise your hands for tonight's star act, mx.maddox and the wanderer's!

★Waking up in a thick black fog was not something you'd ever expect to happen to you. Looking around, Spotting a circus in the distance, was pretty much your only hope of finding a way out. What were they doing out here? Were they in the same boat as you? Regardless, you just hoped they're nice..

★kri was the first to meet you, having found you wandering around outside the circus tents, he quickly introduced himself and asked you where you came from. After explaining your predicament, he nodded in thought

"gee.. that sounds rough.. but don't worry, I'm sure Maddox will know what to do, come with me!"

★Maddox had been stuck in the circus for a long while, along with the other residents. Kri opened the flap into his tent and quickly explained the situation.

"I'm sorry for your predicament young one.. but im afraid we don't know any way out.. on the other hand, you are welcome to stay and be apart of the circus"

★having no other options you accepted, kri excitedly dragging you to the nursery, where all the children and young adults stayed. He introduced you to jiro, Kyo and wendy. Explaining how the four of them were the clowns

★jiro welcomed you with a kind smile, and nodded his head as greeting. You noticed how he didn't seem like much of a talker, preferring to watch and listen

"welcome y/n, I hope you enjoy your stay here"

★Kyo was obviously the most energetic of the bunch, happily blabbering about whatever and making horrible jokes. His friends only gave a small laugh and pat on the back

"it's great to see a new face, come to me if you need a picker upper okay?"

★and last but not least, Wendy. She stayed quiet, giving a shy smile and looking away whenever you'd make eye contact. She shook your hand and soon left, having seemed uncomfortable

"don't mind her... She just needs time getting used to everything, she'll come around"

★they assigned you a bed, and that's how your life at the circus started. Everyone was very welcoming, everyone but wendy. Often staring at you wearily and from a distance. 'Till one night, she came into your tent after everyone went to sleep

"shhh.. I'm sorry for bothering you this late butI need to talk to you.."

"..okay? What is it you need?"

"I'm sorry if I've been coming off as.. distant.. it's just.. you remind me of something that feels so familiar, but I can't put my finger on it.."

"oh..."

"..as you already know, everyone calls me wendy, so you can too I guess.. sorry, did that come off as cold? I'm not really used to Talking to new people.. a-anyways, if you need anything, or if you have any questions.. you can come to me"

"I'll.. keep that in mind, thank you Wendy"

★she gives you a smile and leaves soon after, quickly rushing away. The next few days, she slowly starts talking to you. Opening up bit by bit

"you know.. everyone calls us the dream team, but I really don't think we're suitable for that name. Even Maddox calls us a nightmare!"

"yeah, because you're the main factor to that assumption"

"Wendy.."

"...sorry"

★during your stay with them, you learned that Wendy showed up at the circus just a few days before you, no wonder she seemed so distant. Sometimes she'd say random words in Spanish, most likely cussing kyo out

★their roles in their act goes like this: jiro and kri are the sideshow, doing tricks and all sorts of things while Kyo and wendy were the mains. Acting out many silly stories and using slapstick humor most of the time.

★the first time you saw them in their costumes you nearly had a heartattack. Imagine seeing four scary looking clowns just staring at you ominously from the darkness

★they perform for these shadow people that would come to the circus, nobody knows what they are or why they show up, but there were rumours that once, long ago, the previous circus inhabitants refused to perform for them and.. well.. they had to be "replaced"

★during one of the dream teams acts, you wandered off. Exploring the back tents and dressing rooms when you came across multiple people you recognized, from when they all welcomed you into their little family

★a ballerina named Odette, who was next in line for the show. She seemed sweet as she waved at you from her dressing room, waving back you quickly left

"oh! Hello y/n, do you need something?"

★samson the beast tamer, a peculiar cocky man. He bowed as he dragged a lion by a chain collar behind him. You sincerely hoped they didn't mistreat the animals like other circuses, but judging by the lions calm and obedient attitude, maybe it was domesticated?

"good day sweets"

★will the stuntsman. He gave you a devilish grin as he passed by you, carrying some metal pipe. Giving a wave and smile in return

"see ya later toots!"

★maybe living in the circus won't be so bad..?

[choccy-milky]

Status update on the dark relic nsfw comic please ma'am 🙏 my family is dying

ITS DONE!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉...well, the DRAWING part is as of yesterday BAHAHA. now im just adding all the dialogue/speech bubbles/sfx, SO ITS DEFINITELY GONNA BE SOON!! DEFS BY THIS WEEKEND!! ive just been very nitpicky on the font which i cant decide on LMAO and im also nitpicky abt other final touches LOL. i didnt wanna show anymore cuz ive already shown so much but HERES THE FINAL SNEAK PEEK

and speaking of fonts, i normally use handwriting by jeremy paz!

oh man its so random, but i either use the name lumi or clora for everything whenever i play rpgs (baldurs gate 3, dragon age, you name it) and clora originated from rune factory 4 LOL. theres a character named 'clorica' and i really liked that name, it sounds so elegant and fantasy ish, so i eventually just shortened it to clora bahaha. now its my go-to. i like how simple it is but it also sounds unique and works in modern AND fantasy settings, imo

my first and ONLY playthrough was as clora! i originally did try to make myself at the start, but i have short brown hair and straight across bangs, and they didnt have a style that felt 'me', so i went with just making a ravenclaw that i liked, and then gave her my go-to name of clora HAHA. and yea, i built up her and sebs relationship in my head as i was playing, especially with all the running around the castle i did. i just liked to imagine her constantly out of breath and flushed and seb just watching like ....🧍girl chill...

AND SPEAKING OF MY DARK RELIC COMIC/SMUT, my biggest advice for writing smut id say is to have a reasoning behind it, i guess? i focus a lot on their headspace/WHY they're fucking at that moment when i write it LOL instead of just the movements/sex for the sake of sex. in your case, the sexual tension leading up to the first time gives you SO much to work with, since you can just be in his head with how much hes looking forward to it, how much hes savouring it, how he's also nervous but enjoying it and trusting the other person, etc. the thoughts are hotter than the actual deed a lot of the times (which is why when clora and seb did it for the first time it ended up being like, 15k words of just foreplay and build up from sebs perspective LMAOO) so yeah id just try to focus on their emotions and desires if you can! and a lot of the times with consent stuff it CAN feel forced, and you dont even really need your characters to talk about that stuff verbally, at least not too much. you can do it in body language, or just something as simple as 'ill stop if you want'. it doesnt have to be a long therapist-like conversation about consent, which CAN tend to sound a little awkward and unrealistic (esp in the heat of the moment), if thats the problem you're having. HOPE I COULD HELP

also i love this for you and for me. YES GO ON AND MAKE A BUNCH OF CLORA CLONES, I COMMAND IT👉👉👉

and last but not least the most important question. honestly i like plain sweets a lot with no icing/filling. im a slut for shortbread cookies and also just plain glazed donuts. and also custard/portugese/egg tarts, which i also forced clora to like in my fic HAHA. IF YOU HAVENT HAD THEM YOU HAVE TO, THEYRE SO GOOD😩😩💖💖

[thealbedofreak]

thinking about someones hc about killer being taught royal etiquette by chara and that it would match nightmares vision of himself as a “king”and huge ego

so my take is that dream and mare themselves know the etiquette very well too. idk if its canon or not, i missed out on so much and the last time i actually did research on the authors blogs was 3 years ago…💀 if not consider it my hc

so what i was saying is that mare since he sees himself as a royal (+ i like to think that in dreamtale there was a royalty setting, a kingdom, and him and dream knew royal etiquette since childhood) he still unconsciously acts like some sort of prince, being polite and shit even when he doesnt mean too (as soon as hes calm. if hes mad he wouldnt gaf and would just kick yo ass). he says things like “please go there” “could you get that”, he would talk in that strange manner and at firts ppl around him would always think about how edgy he is😭 mare the edgelord pls save me

he would eat in his mannered way, would make sure everything around him is clean and in order. ofc he has killer or “the gang” to clean but he himself always keeps things he has got his hands on clean. his bed (if he actually sleeps) is always made, he never leaves a mess (unless hes mad and dgaf, again. but afterwards he would get someone to clean or do it himself anyways).

and about his clothing. i despise his “corrupted” design (his clothes i mean), and the fact that dream seems to be jokus “favorite child”, like she never actually worked on nms design in the first place (while dream has two. wohoo). why tf would he dress as sans? to blend in with other sanses so they would blame his shit on the aus sans literally wtf and how would they not notice that their “sans” is covered in this black goop he has. so, i usually draw/portray him in different attire. like i just said, since he got that royal attitude, he would at least dress the way it would match? i used just to draw him wearing a topcoat (?) instead of a hoodie, but now as im older and ig smarter, and also into jfashion, i can see him wearing something something similiar to “aristocrat”, or just something more… decent? not casual, this guy is not casual in any way, why would he wear a hoodie and slippers. something like shirts (all buttoned up), vests, etc. as for young mare/dream, i like to imagine them wearing ouji fashion, but their original designs are also fine i guess

[stevie-petey]

I have an idea for a Jonathan x Steve x reader blurb

You know how gaten matarazzo is a singer and does Broadway? How about Dustin and bug are both former choir kids. Like had solos in recitals and everything. I'd imagine Mrs/Ms. Henderson being super proud of her talented ass children, but Dustin and bug quitting choir as soon as they transfer to Hawkins. Like Jonathan's the only one who knows about it until Jonathan or Dustin bring it up trying to tease / embarrass bug. Steve just being surprised and impressed while Jonathan's laughing his ass off, telling Steve about every performance he knows. Bugs just sulking in the back having so many embarrassing memories come back." You guys are dicks you know that?"

anon this was sent back in JANUARY and i just want to say: u amaze me. idk how u guessed so accurately my bug being secretly good at singing because of her mom plotline

spooky. anyways, enjoy !

"just one song, angel." steve follows you around the store, pestering you. "promise i wont laugh."

"yes you will."

"why do you have such little faith in me?"

"because im a loving girlfriend."

steves about to complain, but the bell above the front door cuts him off. he turns, ready to greet the customer as if he works there, and sees jonathan instead. "oh, youre here."

jonathan gives him a funny look. "im... sorry?"

"you should be," steve scoffs at him, annoyed that hes interrupting a very important conversation with you. steve is determined to annoy you into singing for him. its a hill he will die on if he needs to.

"did i miss something?" jonathan is completely confused as to why steve is being so cold to him. he thought they put aside their differences by now. sure, they arent necessarily friends, but jonathan was willing to call steve a loose acquaintance by now.

guess not anymore.

you walk back from the storage room and pat jonathans shoulder. "ignore him," you glare at steve, warning him to knock it off. "hes just mad that i wont sing him anything from theater camp."

as soon as the words have left your mouth, you know youve made a grave mistake.

the confusion on jonathans face slips, and an evil smirk replaces it. your blood runs cold, he has that look in his eye that has only ever meant trouble for you. "is that so, steve?"

"... yes?" steve doesnt trust the guy. jonathans always been on your side. hes never once gone against you, so steve is a little skeptical of where this is going.

"jonathan byers dont you dare-"

jonathan covers your mouth and shoves you behind his back, which you fight against pathetically. holding you back, he tells steve, "i have tapes of her and dustin performing at least five musical numbers. costume changes and all. i can show you them, if you want."

steve cant believe what hes hearing. its too good to be true. you and dustin? hed kill to see that. "youre so full of shit, byers."

"im serious-ow!" jonathan flinches and pulls his hand away from your mouth. theres a bite mark on it, red and fresh, and he glares at you. "was that really necessary?"

"youre going against me!" you then turn to steve, hit his chest, and he flinches as well and rubs at the wound. "you both are! stop it, go back to hating one another!"

steve drapes an arm over your shoulder. "no can do, angel. jonathan and i are about to become best friends."

"we can watch the tapes at my house." jonathan drapes an arm around you as well, each boy on opposite sides of you. steve nods eagerly, giving you pleading puppy dog eyes to say yes, and you groan.

its going to be a long, long day.

[hana-no-seiiki]

Idk if this is a request or something but I just wanted to get it out there before I forget it. How would the batfam react to a batsis coming from the last of us universe?( the last of us is a zombie apocalypse type game.) How would they react to all of batsis PTSD from being born in a world over ran by zombie’s and learning to survive at a young age. How would they help them? How would they react if they ever were transported to there(batsis) world?

Sorry for this random ask I just wanted to get this out there before I forget about it. Anyway hope you have a great week!

SOFT YANDERE BATFAM x THE LAST OF US! READER BRAINROT

Recently had a TLOU brainrot (at this point it’s more of a heartrot with how devastating the story is eugh) so this came at a perfect timing. I’m guessing batsib (I’ll make it gn I hope you don’t mind anon) has a similar life to elle if they’re not just elle entirely.

I think Batsib would have to be close to the boys before they eventually spill their guts (aka their severe trauma out).

Like when they’re at least 60% there on the yan scale of things.

They see signs like you being hella adamant on the boys at least trying to fix their relationship with Bruce since you know the most out of everyone how it feels to lose a father figure.

You’re the closest with Jason purely because you both have baggage, and luckily you like to talk about it and sort it out.

Your whole life had been the apocalypse so going to Gotham and seeing everything in its prime fascinated you. When the Batfam first took you in due to your status as an anomaly, it took very little to impress you.

But it also took a lot to terrify you.

If we’re going full on Ellie! Reader here then them (batfam) seeing that huge bite mark on your arms, presumably after you’ve dumped info on your past and your reality, almost turned them feral.

It was that moment they decided to never let you go back.

You’re allowed to join them with their vigilante activities as long as you were under strict surveillance.

Bruce is kind of off-put by your nonchalance when it comes to beating up people to a pulp. He had to jump in and stop you from completely killing a dude.

Jason on the other hand approves. Definitely eggs you on.

The rest of the boys, as is my headcannon with any violent MC, get turned on when they see you covered in blood.

In summary, they definitely cherish you more. The spoiling is dialed up to eleven. And since you didn’t know much of the world prior to its apocalypse state, they wouldn’t lock you up like in most cases and instead bring you to explore as much as you’d like.

There is a sick part of them that enjoys your PTSD and how dependent (and distrusting of others) you can be because of it. So unless it gets really bad where you can’t get sleep at all I can see them just not trying to get help for you.

ON THE MORE WHOLESOME SIDE:

I am now imagining reader going to a museum with them all and just climbing the fossil in front of like dozens of people while screaming “LOOK AT ME I’M ON A MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAURRRR!”

Bruce definitely had to pay a lot for that

and all the younger ones + Dick cause he’s Dick throwing fedora hats on all the dinos??? please im on my knees that’s too cute augh-

If they were ever transported in your world, it’d definitely be the other way around. Say you aren’t like Ellie and are completely susceptible to the infection- oof you might as well just be in jail.

They’ll disinfect everything. Masks 24/7. Generally just extremely careful as to not get infected or infect you in any shape or form.

Tim has already researched on fungal infections so you bet he’s ready. Wouldn’t be surprised if he single-handedly ends the apocalypse with how thorough he was. Him, Dick, and Alfred focus more on taking care of you.

Jason and Damian are more with survival and the annihilation of anything that may be dangerous to you within the vicinity. May it be zombies, thieves, the military and what not.

Bruce is probably tinkering on more equipment and helping Tim with actually getting rid of the fungi. The former will definitely use his charm and looks to get more supplies.

In short, these dudes have everything on lockdown.

You’ll wish you didn’t come back to your original world.

A.N. I hope this was to your liking anon!

[sorencd]

hey hannah! hope you're well <3 could you write about having a study session with charlie dalton? im studying rn and i cant stop thinking about him lol

LOVING IS EASY

pairing: charlie dalton x reader

word count: 0.7k

a/n: hii anon! here u go :) GOOD LUCK WITH UR STUDYING BBY MWAMWAS

masterlist

charlie knows where the extent of his intelligence is. he wasn't as much of a genius as meeks but he wasn't dumb either. he only felt the need to study when it was really necessary. mostly, he'd rather spend his time with you, the other poets, or playing the saxophone.

when he met you though, he's come to love studying more and more. he loves lying on your carpet on the ground beside you with a bunch of textbooks sprawled out in front of you. he adored the little snacks your mom would bring in the middle of your studying with a grin on her face, saying you'll accomplish more with a full stomach. he always liked staying at your place more than his. besides, your dad's starting to like him.

sometimes, when you’re helping him find the answer to a seemingly impossible maths problem that’s stumping the both of you, he'd opt to stare at you instead of focusing on the task at hand. he’d watch you chew on your pen, angrily ramble about how it all makes no sense, scribble formulas that he’s sure aren’t the right ones, and listen to how pretty your voice sounds. he’d ease his cheeks into his arms that were crossed on the floor and nod his head to everything you’d say, occasionally flipping the pages to put on the guise of knowing what you’re talking about. he knows by the end of the day, he’ll distract you and avoid you two from achieving anything.

while you were busy marking your latin notes to their respective places, and to give charlie an easier time reading it all when he needs to, you heard a soft thump! to your right. charlie, whom you thought was also doing the same thing you were, at least was doing the same thing, had now decided to slump further onto the carpet. ‘that’s gotta hurt.’ you wondered, slightly wincing before poking his cheek. his brain was getting fried from all this studying.

“i don’t understand how this could possibly be used in the future. when will i ever say ‘quid est tempestas hodie?’” he whined. you do have to agree, when will you use latin? you shrugged and just guessed it would come in handy one day.

“don’t be like that! latin is fun! imagine how many swear words you could say and no one outside of welton would understand you.”

“then what’s the point? most of the people i want to say ‘stercore manducare’ to is from hellton.” 

“it can’t be that bad!”

“enroll and find out then, it’ll make me very happy if you do that.” he batted his eyelashes and puckered his lips, his face contorted into a silly expression, making smooching sounds to your dismay.

you giggled and pushed him away in a joking matter, “stop, you’re making me lose focus!”

charlie feigned hurt as he let out a huff, turning to lie on his back and raised a hand to his forehead. “the world is treating me bad, misery! my darling has finally cracked and can now ignore the un-ignorable me!” it was like he was reciting a poem. it always made you laugh whenever he did that. his sudden outbursts of poetical literacy always successfully being able to lift up your spirits.

“i’m getting sick of the floor, let’s study in bed instead! it’ll help us think better.” he cheekily proclaims, trying his best to persuade you. it didn’t take much convincing for him to get you to do anything. how could you ever pass up any opportunity with charlie? so inevitably, you would give in and you’d end up in bed, supposedly studying with a textbook in between your blanket covered legs. you could already see yourself waking up only to realise that you fell asleep. with charlie spooning you and your notes haphazardly scattered onto the floor.

you continued jotting down useful information both you and charlie could use when examination arrives, and he continued admiring you trying to write down on an uneven surface. it didn’t take long for charlie to realise that in every version he imagined himself as, he saw you in each one. he loved being nuwanda with you. because with you, loving is easy.

© sorencd . 2023 ─ do not copy, repost, translate or claim any of my works as your own.

[doctorwhoisadhd]

[ID: reply from @seveneyesoup: "okay i'll bite what the hell is blaseball (i looked it up on wikipedia i have a general idea of if but it doesn't like, tell me what it was like following the game at all) /end ID]

this is such a good question that the answer gets its own entire post!!!!! im gonna try to distill it for u as best i can here goes

very much colored by what team u were a fan of if u were like me and in maincord. because a) teams had different cultures / lore / players / etc and b) they also had different stuff happen to them. however everyone did experience the same plot

it was something you could open any hour of the day :) like if i was bored at 3am i could just open blaseball (provided games were running)

you ALWAYS had questions. there were not answers for 75% of them. sometimes it was because the question was never designed to be answered in the first place. other times it was because we just LITERALLY did not know. also, out of the 25% of the questions we DID have answers for, 10 of those percents required you to make a spreadsheet to answer it, and 5 of those percents required you to seek out a specific guy who can answer it for u. the rest could mostly be answered by going into maincord and asking. but crucially the only way to determine which of these a question was was asking anyway.

it was basically like if fantasy football was both. an arg and massively multiplayer and also fucking insane. we were making choices having no idea what anything did and i cannot tell you how many monkeys paw situations there were. we were straight guessing up in that bitch

bits were everything in the discord. goku got incinerated once. there was a bee wedding. my team (the fridays) suckered the mods into giving us a second emoji once. bits got beaten like winnie hess after season 24 day 3 (a dead horse). it was incredible

so many fucking spreadsheets. awesome

THE FAN MUSIC SCENE WAS THE BEST THING EVER. like i think blaseball was probably the SINGLE best fan culture in terms of fan music ever created. it was really, really, really absurdly popular, moreso i would say than fanfic

loring players was so fun everyones ideas were so different and cool. most players were queer it was super fun. VERY VERY queer space and very awesome. it was fantastic in that regard

anything you could imagine probably happened in blaseball.

when in doubt, its a pun. or some kind of wordplay (chances were if u were theorizing, if it was a pun then you were at least close)

the discourse was so bad sometimes though (like. necromancy discourse sucked so bad. like please stop taking it so seriously necromancy is inherently funny!!! also oh GOD yorkcourse that was the WORST. basically ppl were mad that the fridays lored our favorite player as an 8 year old boy considering players die in this game)

[lokh]

#maybe laios has to have his own awakening <-- I'd be very much interested in hearing what that might look like to you 👀 Shuro pining and stressing over it is the easiest thing to imagine, but I struggle a bit with imagining what Laios' perspective on romance is and his romantic interest in general

OK SO....... realistically i think his view on romance in canon is probably closer to how even though we know his passion is monsters we KNOW he wants to eat monsters So Fucking bad...... his favorite food is still cheesecake. yknow?????? but it's not his Passion.... he mentions having a fiance (somewhat as a point of pride iirc?) but having to break it off when he left his hometown. if he Does experience romantic/sexual attraction then it's kind of secondary to everything else going on with him (see also the succubus thing)... ive always kind of assumed that for him, at the very least before ditching town, that getting married was just a thing you did (were supposed to do) and while he wasn't opposed to it, maybe even interested in it, clearly he doesn't seem to care enough to seek it out afterwards. AS an aroace person i want to believe he's on the aroace spectrum adfvccvvbhb..... aro spec non ace laios is interesting too though.....

BASICALLY it's not a huge concern of his BUT. the question of marriage and succession WILL come up post canon. unfortunately he might not be able to take such a lackadaisical attitude about Who he gets with now that he's such a big deal.... but then again, he's got that rebellious streak and seems pretty good at making situations work in his favor. like who's Really gonna be able to stop him if he decides he wants to marry some guy from the eastern archipelago......

I think he might need an awakening in the sense that taking the view that he's kind of assumed that marriage is just a thing that'll happen to him at some point, he's probably never considered getting with a guy. it's just never crossed his mind. but we know he's open minded and willing to take on-board new ideas...... its less a huge awakening than an Oh! i see i get it moment wjnshdhxbx. actually i can imagine the idea being floated to him and he kinda goes hmmmmmm i don't really get it (for me) but ok i guess. then someone going (perhaps out of pity for an already pining shuro) ok but now imagine you and shuro being that close and him going AH! now I get it.

we know that laios cares deeply about the people close to him but it's hard for us to imagine him romantically and that's probably true for the people around him also tbh. i think no matter how you spin it (that he's aroace but decides to have a relationship anyway, or that he does experience any attraction) that perception will always hold and there might be the concern of does he Really get it though irt a relationship (in this case laishuro). I also think that if he does decide on a relationship with someone he cares about that he WILL care deeply he just might not show it in like. any overtly romantic way...

i will say that part of that perception of him being incapable of romance and sexual attraction, im concerned is because of him also being well. pretty autistic lmao. which is obviously not fair. but romance has never been a huge focal point in dungeon meshi much the same way it isn't really for laios, but it's still there nonetheless....

it's possible also that he has a bigger interest in romance and sex than is apparent but because of how Social it is that he simply won't pursue it. he's aware of his lack of social ability and is pretty insular with his social group (iirc this is kabrus perception of him?) so I dont think it's unreasonable to believe he might have decided it wasn't worth the effort to seek it out. but with someone who's Already a friend and you've already made all the possible social gaffes with and they haven't left despite that..........

[all-seems-no-well]

"Testing...Hello? Can you hear me?..."

------------

-Hello. AHEM... Regarding the past events of "Kalloway Kindergarten" , We have decided to hear from the victims 20 years later to get a better insight on what really happened. The following paragraphs will be from our latest interviews with each, separate person. - These will be repeated from what our subjects had said to the interviewers. - Sadly, some people hadn't come to the interview. So please bear with us on this unfortunate mishap. Thank you for listening, Thank you for your patience, and thank you for coming.

------------

-Subject no. 1 (???)

"Subject number one was unable to make it today.

-Subject no. 2 (Lilith (Lily) Prescott.)

"Slow and painful it was. At least, that's how it felt for me. But I can't imagine the more brutal things my brother had to go through. He was missing for a while, and...Nobody knew where he went. Until that very day, I and...someone else, had found him...... Under the school. The principal was doing experiments on him. It was all so... horrific. Too horrific for a child to see... If I could go back in time and give my younger self a hug, I wouldn't think twice. As for my brother, I would've done the same, even at the time. I wish In that moment I could've told him how much I loved him, how much he meant to me... But now I can't..."

-Subject no. 3 (???)

"Subject number three was unable to make it today."

-Subject no. 4 (Jerome Kennedy.)

"Hearing about the awful stuff my dad did after he died, broke me as a kid. If I had known what he was doing before, I would've told someone before it got so bad... Sometimes I still blame myself for everything that happened. I know I shouldn't, but he was MY dad. I can't get over it."

-Subject no. 5 (Buggs V. Mallory.)

"Shit sucked. Those other kids were awful to me. And yeahhh, I may or may not have been awful to them back. But YOU would be a dick too if YOU were constantly bullied! Oh, right...that... Well, I wasn't really a part of the whole thing. All I know is one day our principal died, and then another day our other principal died. A lot of principals died that week, man. So uh. I don't know.

-Subject no. 6 (Cynthia (Cindy) Louelle.)

"Okay, well. Kindergarten was kinda blehh... y'know? I met some decent people there, I guess. But I also met the most rudest girl in the world! Ugh... But yeah, like, I didn't really care about the whole "principal experimenting on us" jig. It was kinda just stupid... and annoying.... And I honestly don't even recall half of the teachers there, sooo...."

-Subject no. 7 (Monty Hyde.)

"I lost a lot at that damn school. I mean seriously, they didn't think to fire the janitor after day two?! I lost my legs because of him! And now I've just been stuck with these unflattering girl legs. But y'know what? Kindergarten was pretty fun at times. Cause' I was a little shit, and all the teachers knew it. I was even smarter than the science teacher, which says a lot about how smart I am now as an adult! ....are you recording this? Yeah? Good. YOU HEAR THAT DR. DANNER?! I'M BETTER NOW. IM A SUCCESSFUL MILLIONAIRE, AND WHERE ARE YOU? PROBABLY IN A RETIREMENT HOME...... Uh- Thank you for having me here..."

-Subject no. 8 (Felix K. Huxley.)

"I say... Kindergarten was certainly quite the experience. Younger me would've said it was horrible, but now that I've matured I see just how dramatic I was being. Though, there were some things I did that....I'm not quite proud of.... But! That aside, the experience looking back at it was quite swell. If not for that place, I wouldn't have met my lovely Cynthia...or what's his face- uh- Monty!... He's helped me a lot with my business, and I tip my metaphorical and imaginary hat to him."

-Subject no 9. (Theodore (Ted) K. Huxley)

"I believe they should've had much better funding, and staff. Because that place was just...awful. The teachers obviously despised their jobs, and the bathrooms... Oh the bathrooms were foul...! And even thinking about Kindergarten brings back horrible memories of what my brothe- actually nevermind... But anyway, thinking about the pain and suffering those poor students before me must've gone through...it makes me sick to my stomach. They could've done so much better for the students and the school itself."

-Subject no. 10 (???)

"Subject number ten was unable to make it today."

-Subject no. 11 (???)

"Subject number eleven was also unable to make it today."

-Subject no. 12 (Ozzy Harrison.)

"I don't have any good memories of that place. Not one. I'm sorry, but I don't even wanna talk about it anymore..."

-Subject no. 13 (Madison Bonneau.)

"It was like one second I was at recess, and then another I was in some sci-fi looking lab! But me and my friends got saved by some randos, so all was well after that I think! But in all seriousness, that mean lady got what she deserved. I'm glad nobody has to put up with her ever again... oh, oh! And also there was a girl there when it happened...and her head freakin' exploded!! I couldn't sleep for days because of the sight!"

-Subject no. 14 (Alison (Alice) M. Claire.)

"I heard Madi from the other room... I am incredibly sorry about her... excitement? She's never been interviewed before, and quite frankly, neither have i- o-oh, yes...my apologies... The whole situation had really put a negative toll on my well-being. I was scared to go back to school, I had a hard time trusting people, and I was overall terrified of everyone and everything around me. It felt like a bunch of eyes had been laid upon my person, and hands were out to hurt me at any moment. I and my friends were kidnapped by the other school's principal, and to say it was traumatizing would be an understatement..."

-Subject no. 15 (Ronaldo (Ron) Duncan.)

"hey do you have any cheese? No? Okay.. Well anyway. What I remember is like.. kinda crazy. So bear with me. I was just on the playground, swinging on the swings, okay? And then suddenly IM KNOCKED OUT, LIKE BLAM! And then, I woke up in some bunker with a bunch of sciencey stuff in it. And I'm like floating around in this giant tube thingy, right? And then these kids come into the bunker and they're like "well save you!!" And then the evil principle lady turns me into a monster and I'm all like "blehghh" and my friends are also like "blehghh." BUT THEN the principal lady also turns into a giant, ugly monster!! And then the kids kill her like superheroes. True story."

-Subject no 16 and 18 (???)

"These two subjects were unable to come in today due to their own plans together."

-Subject no. 17 (Austin Scarrow)

"I don't actually CARE about the stuff that happened in kindergarten! That stuff was a long time ago, and it doesn't matter to me anymore..."

------------

"By listening to our subject's stories, We hope you know how much this means to them, finally being able to speak up about their own experiences from the tragedy. These people are powerful, and strong, and we wish nothing but the best for them."

------

------

"...Jesus...these kids are gonna make me a killing. I've got to get in contact with those other subjects... If I don't, this whole jig is gonna go out of business..."

[ganondoodle]

since seeing a post from a mutual yesterday i was thinking about how grateful i am that i can now, confidently say something like -im taking demise away from nintendo- or -hes MY character now- while knowing that the people following me will understand that thats not actually possible and also i dont mean that literally literally (duh)

bc (while i have mentioned it in the past and im not trying to fish for sympathy with this, the memories ... and trauma really does come back every now and then) there were people once that imagined i said that about a popular character in the fandom i was in when i was a teen and proceeded to try (and nearly succeeding bc i was already struggeling alot with depression, anxiety and undiagnosed autism) to bully me into killing myself; perhaps it wasnt their actual goal, but the shit they did (alot of them were adults too), was absolutely insane, but i've only been able to see that wayyyy after the fact

like even if im remembering wrong and i did word it wrong or weird or in a way that was easily misunderstood, i was a teen, with english not as my first language and it still was some fandom shit that ultimately did not matter and never in any scenario warrented that level of harrassment, i dont even think i ever told my parents bc i thought i had to deal with it alone since i 'caused' it too and since then just ... wanting to forget it ever happened

while i am much, much better now, and slowly learning to manage my mental health struggles too, i do wonder just .. how much of how i am today was shaped by that horrible experience, like the way i overly try to pre-apologize and put doubts on every thought i write out, or the panic i feel when something does go outside my usual range (mostly twitter really ..) was immensely worsened by that .. among stuff i probably dont even realize

funnily enough, i made my account on tumblr to try and flee from all that was happening to me (even if they did stalk me at first .. even here) and hey, im still here :D

i guess what im trying to say is, i am very happy to still be here, i am grateful to be able to be myself, even with its downsides, even with my problems, even if the things i do are passable at best, even if i will never "make it big", even if i am annoying at times, even if i do mistakes still, even if i am .... horribly bad at replying to the awesome people that message me-

there are, at least a few people, who enjoy, or even care, or heck, even think about what i draw and write, which is .. still mind boggling to me and i might never be able to truly believe its all real, there are people who are able to see beyond my flaws, forgive me if i do missstep or overreact, and just be aware that even with everything i share about me, there is lots you dont know that may inform why i feel a certain way about something, but thats okay, i am human, i am here, there are people who enjoy my brainworms, and perhaps even think i, as a person, am nice

i am so grateful for that

some things are good

[iouinotes]

Heroic love (part 4) | Luke Castellan

pairing: Luke Castellan x female!reader

show: Percy Jackson and the Olympians

warnings: betrayal, dark romance, no verbal consent, angst, smut MINORS DONT INTERACTE

summary: Luke finds out your plan and you give in. After all, it is better to be with him than with the monsters that suround you.

authors note: The reader joins Luke rather unwillingly, even though she still loves him. I just want to say up front that Luke's threat at the end is not meant serious. He would never do something like that to her. He only does it so that she realizes that there is no other way than to join him. If it's too dark, I'm sorry... @qwertydddddddddd wanted to be tagged, so I hope you enjoy it <33

Sometimes you think to yourself, this is real love. I'm gonna marry this person. I will spend my life with them, building a home and a family.

Well thats the regular scenario, I mean for the people who are regular. Not demigods.

And you see, even though we dont have an easy life, fighting monsters, losing friends, being scared and anxious all the time, that some bad evil guy suddenly wants to rule the world- we live. Because we have to and because we have each other.

So, for me, I was prepared for it to become harsh. I always knew my life would be like sitting on a rollercoaster, never having the chance to exit.

But I found comfort in this reality. I would imagine being on this attraction, but holding onto something that grounds me. Someone that gives me strengh, so I don't lose myself.

For a long time, I held hands with Luke.

Then of course, something did go terrible wrong, as if they goddess Aphrodite wanted to watch an exciting, action packed romance movie, with the plot twist of I-hate-to-love-you-because-you-left-me trope. Something like this.

Well, I think the movie sucks. In the last months, everything was just not right- Luke leaving camp to join Kronos? Betraying everyone and kidnapping me? Showing up here, messing with me and then holding my own dagger to my throat? (Deja vu)

No, that just isnt what I Imagined to happen in the future. I didnt want my boyfriend to turn into the bad guy, who we swore to fight.

But now I guess, thats up to me. At least some part of it.

"I think Luke ist turning into Darth Vader." Sometimes I'm not sure whats going on in Percys head.

"I never heard of this monster?" Annabeths parents are so wrong for not watching Star Wars with her.

"Guys, after we discussed this, you can have your movie night. But please, let's focus." My voice sounds harsher than I intended, so I immediately feel bad about it.

"Sorry, it's just very complicated. I want to know what our next steps are, what we are planning to do with this- situation." I don't know how else to call it.

"We need information. Who is the spy? What are Kronos plans? Where will he attack? Who joined him? So many unanwered questions." Chirons voice sends a shiver down my neck. He's right, but how do we achieve it?

Percys gaze unnerves me and when I turn my head to meet his eyes, he immediately shakes his head.

"I am not letting you alone with him this time. Nope." I sign, conflicted how I would want to deal with this.

All eyes are on me and when I turn to them, I try to explain my plan. But I cant even finish my second sentence and already everyone seems to be against it.

"We cant let him out!"

"He will kill us!"

"His army is already searching for him, he would escape!"

Annabeth raises her hand and the voices calm down. As she looks at me, I sense her own doubts about the situation.

"They are right. How do you know he would trust you? Could you convince him?"

I nod my head, ignoring my doubts.

"I can."

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

The moon shines beautifully in the sky, but it helps nothing to calm down my nerves. Im so stupid, why did I thought I could pull this off?

"Youre sure, you want to do this? You dont have to." Percy's standing next me, as always trying to comfort me.

"He will believe me. I always had dreams, where I thought he-" I need a moment to finish my sentence.

"-died. That he got hurt or is in pain. When I had this sort of dream, I would always sneak out of my cabin and came to him. I would walk into his cabin and he somehow always knew what happend. He would tuck me in his bed, letting me cry and cuddling me. Resurring me that everything is going to be okay, that he will live. That was always my biggest fear, that he would die and I would be helpless to do anything against it. He knows that."

We stand in silence for a moment.

"If you need me, I will be there. Just be careful." I smile at him.

I take a deep breath and go trough the doors, seeing that the only light he has, is a small lamp on the ceiling. I quicken my pace so he can hear me coming. When I stand in front of his cell, he is already on his feet. He looks alarmed.

"What-" his t-shirt is wrinkled and his eyes are sleepy. My breath catches and I don't even have to pretend to be confused and afraid, standing in front of him alone in the dark is enough.

The bars are the only thing that separates us.

At first I don't say anything, I just look at him with watery eyes. And just like I said, he knows it. He always knows.

"Another nightmare?" His voice is so gentle, it makes me remember the old days when everything was good. When he took me in his arms and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

I just nod, I don't think my voice is stable enough yet.

I have to play the role, I can do it. He has to believe me.

I slide down the wall and put my head in my hands, all the despair and pain I've been carrying for weeks suddenly coming out of me. I'm crying so hard that I'm almost afraid of waking up the others.

"Shit, princess- what can I do? Let me help, please." He sounds so desperate and it's only now that I realize, that I don't actually have to act. Because my tears are real.

"Y-you ruined everything! And I'm still s-so scared that something h-happens to you" I meet his gaze and see the remorse in his eyes. His heart hurts too.

"I didn't want something like that to happen- please, darling. Come here." Sniffling, I stand up. My knees feeling weak and unsteady. If I go in there now, I won't be able to defend myself properly.

“You hurt me, I shouldn’t even be here. You're an idiot, Luke. I hate-" but I can't bring myself to say it. I cant say that I hate him. Because I don't, at least not yet.

"I know, believe me. I hate myself too. Only your belief in me has always held me together." He grips the bars, I see the inner conflict within him.

"But you won't change. You've never been able to do that well." I know I'm right and he knows it too. Silence surrounds us.

"Let me hold you. Just for- a few minutes. Please. I can't stand seeing you like this. You've always been the sunshine in my life. I don't want my sun to be obscured."

The key jingles in my hand and I look at it uncertainly.

"I won't hurt you, never again, I promise. I also got an anklet. I can't escape." His eyes look so honest. I'm feeling nervous, my heart is beating way too fast.

I put the key in the lock and open the door, freezing in my movements for a moment. What am I doing here? But then I hear his voice and I know why.

“It’s not that comfortable on the floor, but you can sit on my lap." I close the door.

As I move towards him I see how thin he has become and how brown his eyes still are.

Slowly, he raises his hands and when I stand in front of him he puts them around my waist. My knees buckle and I sink carefully onto his lap. My hands rest uncertainly on his shoulders, then moving down to his neck. Playing with the strands of his hair, lost in thoughts.

His face is right in front of mine, both of our breaths are uneven. His hands linger on me, holding me tight to him. Warmth fills my chest as I look into his eyes.

"You're so beautiful. So, so beautiful." A sob tries to escape me, as I do something, I always loved. I put my head in the crook of his neck and wrap my arms around him.

He holds me for a few minutes, stroking my back and whispering soothing, sweet nothings in my ear.

Once I've calmed down, I'm basically lying on top of him and can hear his heartbeat. It's almost soporific.

"Luke?" my voice is calm.

His head turns to me. "Yes?"

"I...I want to be with you. I don't care how or- or where. I just know that I can't live without you." I see his eyebrows furrow.

"You dont mean-" I am silent. Just looking at him, sitting up a little, straddling him.

"I need you. I tried not to need you. But it's out of my control, nothing helps to ease the pain. Only you, only you matter."

Is it the truth if the words escape me so easily?

His hand finds my cheek and I lean into his touch.

"We're the only ones that matter. We will get through this, together and united. You don't have to fight my darling, you just have to be by my side." His hand around my waist pulls me towards him, the other one, he continues to lay on my cheek. Caressing the skin, drawing invisible heart-shapes.

Then his lips meet mine and my eyes flutter shut. The kiss so intoxicating, that I forget for a moment my real intention. Forget why I'm participating in this madness.

As he pulls away from me, I hear his whispering voice.

"You won't betray me, right? You won't do that to me?" He tugs on my hair, ever so slightly, to get my attention.

"No, Luke. I won't." Lie.

The key in my hand is no longer idle as I remove his shackles carefully.

"Then princess, let's get out of here." I slowly get off his lap, but before I stand up, he lifts me up in his arms.

"I promise you that I will never hurt you again. You deserve only the best." As cliche as it is, he carries me out of the cell, which isnt locked anymore.

He lets me down outside and breathes in the fresh air. It's still night, maybe 4 a.m. Everything is quiet.

His hands cup my face and place several kisses on my skin.

"You are incredible, I knew you would join me. For real this time." He takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. I don't see Percy anywhere.

"Let's go. I know where my troops are stationed. Nobody will notice that we're gone until it's too late."

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

Joining Kronos' army was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, and that includes keeping the truth from Luke.

That I'm a spy for the camp, better hidden than anyone else ever could. No one would accuse or suspect the leader's girlfriend, because everyone can see how much I love him.

After all, it's the only reason I'm tolerated here. Because Luke would kill anyone who even came near me. He has already done it to a dragon lady who was too pushy and even when I tried to stop him, he showed no mercy.

Because he can't afford to do that, if he shows that he has a heart, it will be taken away from him.

Every day it is torture to witness this evil, to help maintain cover, to save my friends.

And every day I feel worse, because I lie to Luke. But it is the only way. I cannot help in the camp, if my heart is somewhere else. Here, with him, my thoughts are not always here, but my heart is.

At least it's enough for me to function. When Luke isn't distracting me.

When I wake up that morning on the Princess Andromeda, it is still quiet. In the presence of these monsters, I have not been able to sleep well for months. Even the dreams I have, make me wake up in the middle of the night and the only thing that calms me down is Luke's touch.

His fingers gently stroke my exposed skin, and as I turn my head and look at him, I see an emotion in his eyes, I've only recently noticed. There is a desire in his gaze, as if he wanted to consume my entire being, to have me just for himself.

My voice, my body, my thoughts, my feelings. Simply everything. He wants it all to be his.

"I wish I could erase every bad dream you have and send whoever is responsible for it to burn in hell. It should scare me that you make me think like that, but if I'm honest, it doesn't. Are you scared?" His eyes look into mine.

Slowly, my fingers intertwine with his. "Not when you're with me."

The next thing I notice is his lips on mine. The way his hands grip my hips and pull me onto him.

He leans towards me, his lips caress my ears and I hear his whispering voice. "Every day I hear one my followers talking about you. That they want to have you, to decorate your beautiful body with scars, with their initials." I freeze at his words, wanting to pull away and look at him, but he holds me tight. Makes me continue to listen to his voice.

"They want to see you bleed, to alternate between pain and pleasure when they push their cocks into you. Do you like that? That you are so desired? That you turn everyone's heads, when you go by and they start wanting to see my head roll? To get close to you, huh?" I want to shake my own head, but he holds me even tighter.

"Do you know how hard it is not to execute every single one of them? Do you know that? I would, if I could. I would kill every single one of them, in front of you, so that everyone knows that you belong to me. Do you understand? No one will speak to you anymore, because your voice is mine. No one will look at you, because your sight is mine. You keep your hands to yourself, no more help with injuries, I don't care if they die. Your hands only touch me."

As I start to sqirm, he leans back, keeping his hands on my hips until a finger strokes my cheek.

"No one will ever kiss you except me. And anyone who even thinks about fucking you, I will let die in battle. You may think my loyalty is to Kronos, but it is to you. My beautiful girl. Now think carefully about who you are pledging your loyalty to."

When his eyes look into mine, I fall silent. Then, even though I try not to, my voice trembles.

"What do you mean? I'm loyal to you, Luke."

His hands caress my skin, examining how the sun shines on me. I'm only wearing one of his T-shirts and my panties. His hands, stroke my bare thighs.

His eyebrows rise, slowly his fingers wrap around my panties, pulling them down until I am revealed to him. My heart is pounding so loudly in my chest, that it feels like it's about to give up. I hold my breath as he places the tip of his cock at my entrance.

What am I doing here?

"I think you're not being completely honest with me, princess. Let's try again. Who are you loyal to?" As he slowly enters me and his hands hold my hips, I moan. I lay my head back for a moment and enjoy the stretch, feeling his hands slide under my shirt and stroke over my stomach, to my breasts and to my neck.

"Luke, what's going on? I'm here with you, I'm-" But I can't finish my sentence as he plunges into me with a violent jerk, right up to the edge. My eyes roll back.

"These sweet lies that come from your lips. Of course you are here physically, but with the mind? Oh no, while I fuck you, your thoughts are on Camp Halfblood. On Jackson. Can you believe it?" His hands push my hips down until I am connected directly to him and can feel every inch inside me. I almost melt as one of his hands presses into my lower back and I move even closer to him.

When I try to answer him, my voice is a mixture of horror and pleasure. "Luke, that's not true. I only want you, I'm on your side- ahh-" Faster than I can react, he thrusts into me. Once, twice. So hard and ruthless that he hits the spot inside me, that makes me see stars. I can't concentrate.

"How I wish you would tell the truth. There's nothing to be ashamed of, sweetheart. Admit it, I already know. My girlfriend is the traitor. Behind my back, she talks to the person I hate the most and yet, she sits on my lap and rides my cock. What would Percy say about that?"

His hand wraps around my neck and holds me tight, his hips keep pounding into me and even though my brain tells me to stop, my guard is down. I want this.

"How-" But when I want to ask, he pushes me onto him again. So fast, too hard, it almost hurts, but it also feels so good.

"I have my eyes everywhere. It took me a while to figure out how to deal with it, how to deal with you. But I found a good solution. After all, Percy lets you be here, without cover, without protection. Hoping I wouldn't find out that you were passing on information. That I wouldn't hurt you."

His last sentence makes me tense up, but even though his face twists in amusement for a brief moment, he doesn't stop talking.

"Your pussy won't save you either. And since I have given you my word, I will not harm you. I found a better punishment. A choice."

He suddenly stops moving and I almost cry, wanting to move myself, but he takes my face in his hand, tightly. Focusing all attention on him.

"Either you stop your underhanded loyalty to Jackson immediately and serve me, or I will make the wishes of everyone behind this door come true and you will be used like a beautiful, little doll. From each one of them, I assure you. But after that, you won't be so beautiful anymore."

Tears well up my eyes, whether it's from the tight grip he's holding on me or from his words, I can't tell. And I'm scared, it feels like I'm being buried alive. With no prospect of ever being able to breathe or be free again.

Without me saying anything, he starts moving inside me again, letting my hips sink onto his. I breathe in loudly.

"Come on, move. Your choice. It's either my cock or anyone else's."

When I look at him, the person I once loved has disappeared. It's like looking at a stranger.

My heart feels like it's been stolen and in the back of my mind I realize, that I should have never gone with him.

But then I close my eyes, put my hands on his shoulders for support and sink down onto him. Again and again, even stronger. Until my thighs shake and tears run down my cheeks. Until I hear Luke's quiet voice again.

"If you think you are strong enough to be like me, treacherous, cold-hearted and ruthless, then I have to disappoint you. Your heart will be soft forever unless the world hardens it. I will protect you for that, princess. Forget camp halfblood, you only serve me now."

His lips are hot on my skin, a strong contrast to my heart, which feels like it's made of ice.

And when I receive the next secret sign from Annabeth a few days later, I ignore it.

[fictionfixations]

Kalim in RSA (and I get off-topic)

Spoilers for Book 4 and 5 (im sorry jamil enjoyers. but im so biased towards kalim its not even funny)

(this spiraled into me talking all about kalim in the actual game so oops)

imagine how different the story would be if kalim was in RSA

and we just hear from jamil about these snippets about his 'master' (although itd be weird they'd be separated if jamil tended to him often to where he'd prob be like his personal servant? idk what situation would have jamil talk to us anyway but yknow maybe we get close, he's like the other friend who seems cool? he'll basically help us out with knowledge about things, fleshing out the world a bit more, as the only sophomore in the group cause he kind of feels responsible maybe? then BETRAYAL)

and then eventually partway through the school year KALIM IS THERE (we know why though) and he somehow ends up housewarden.

i have a dislike against RSA. its very petty and its kind of because they keep winning (and they dont even mean ill intent which is worse! …but its kind of like kalims kindness. and i like kalim but that might make me biased. SO. thus the existence of this.)

we probably wouldnt like him much right? (and i imagine he'd get his fair share of bullies. we find this out. he laughs it off like 'nah, im used to attempted assassinations and everything. this isnt nearly as bad.')

(id do the clapping between but ppl get annoyed, and i get annoyed) CUE KALIM BEING MORE THAN SMILES AND WE LEARN THAT ABOUT HIM !!

HES aware enough that he can cook food good using JUST magic (which takes precision to use it as good or even better than your hands right??. its in his labwear vignette. ruggies teaching him ofc so ruggie wants it to be good cause hes taking leftovers, BUT CMOONNN he can learn. ..and yeah it took a few years for jamil to teach kalim antidotes to common poisons so he could do it easy but kalims hardly a master at making potions so i call that good)

AND in book 5 he noticed vil had like the same look as jamil to where he knew something was going to go wrong (aka the poisoning)

maybe its to show how much kalim doesnt belong in NRC and thats why they dont pull the 'more than he looks at first glance' like cater with glimpses in vignettes and etc

but like COME ON.

the sultan might be dumb (i recently re-watched aladdin) but at least he knew enough that he didnt want jafar marrying his daughter cause hes OLD and also he doesnt want to force jasmine into anything (good intentions. im sure if they just waited and she didnt find a suitor in time he would've just CHANGED THE LAW like he did IN THE MOVIE because he wants her to be happy!)

ALSo he tried to look through the law jafar claimed to say that would make her have to be married to the vizier or whatever (aka jafar) but then jafar just pulled it away before he could (and then attempted to mind control him when he refused) mans was prepared to spend hours reading over it even if he didnt understand it but he wasnt given the chance

also kalim is worryingly nonchalant about stuff. i mean. you can get used to horrible things to where they just feel so normal and uninmportant i guess? but poor bby. hes been like 'i want to keep myself alive because if i die then someone else will get punished.' or like about poisoning, if someone has a change of mind and hes already dead, then he cant do something to help them, so he has to make sure he'll live.

..i really doubt that hes just. so oblivious. maybe in denial, but still.

anyway i got very off topic. my bad. and to be fair we do get to see more of him at some parts. but hhh

okay listen. denial. (i am also a believer that if when kalim confronted jamil, if he said he didnt do anything kalim wouldve believed him. bruh gave him excuses like '..i just got tired, right?')

"The real Jamil would never do such things! He's a good guy. He's always helping me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, and—" (Book 4 • Chapter 33)

we just. dont see him really crumble?? he just. keeps being optimistic

we convince him jamil is bad. he resolves to punch him for being a traitor and THATS IT?

he sobs at the end of jamils overblot but then he goes back to being optimistic like 'lets be equals!' (..it feels like he didnt really learn much though as he's still 'I didn't notice--' 'I--' and i wish he couldve gotten more awareness. cause he makes it about himself yknow and blaming himself but COME ON put some blame on jamil PLEASE? or like. ANYONE ELSE. you also cant notice shit if no one ever tells you about it that you dont even know to look for it! he doesnt want to be cautious about who he can trust so like, why would he think to doubt the person who hes known his entire life??? especially if its something that was just always there that it feels natural, how could he know better? hes sheltered! so someone shouldve explained it to him, made him realize things! aghhh)

heres the book 5 one btw

"I got a real bad feeling when I saw the look on your face after Neige's rehearsal. It was practically the same look I saw on Jamil's face when he lost control of himself over holiday break." (Book 5 • Chapter 62)

And I mean maybe he did learn in that he's more aware of this now than others because he knows what people could look like because of Jamil, but I feel like a lot of things were just so unsaid. That the first time blindsided him, but now he's kind of a little more worried about something happening while he's there that he didn't notice so now he's trying to notice things more??? Or like maybe having gut feelings that he'd ignored before because it was Jamil but now knowing better?

So he can be aware. but then the rest of the time he's just thought of as dumb or an idiot or forgetful and it just makes me sad. and i mean i get that he wants to see the best in people but we never really talk about how its more that its denial. a refusal to see it, and i want to understand why

or maybe its because he sees the good in people that he trusts they'll do the right thing. or he believes that the good outweigh the bad (although i dont know if it'd be the same case if it was someone he knew who got hurt)

like. okay back in book 5

"Besides, I would bet there isn't a single person in Scarabia who hasn't gotten help from Jamil at some point. Am I right?"

"See? There you go. He's been a model vice housewarden. In fact, he's put me to shame. He let dark thoughts get the better of him for a brief time. Other than that, he's a perfectly capable guy." (Book 5 • Chapter 10)

He justifies it with that Jamil isn't the only one to blame (he also blames himself), and that Jamil hadn't done anything wrong before then

which. AGAIn. means that in his eyes the good outweigh the bad. jamils better at his duties so jamil should stay as vice housewarden.

this was the first time jamil did anything bad so it'd be fine, it was just an error in judgment

AGHHh

nothing about the fact that his closest friend he views as a brother

"He's grown up with Jamil since a young age, and considers him a brother in all but blood." (from the In-game Album)

who would be the last person he'd expect to do such a thing BETRAYS HIM, planning to make everyone (or well just the people in scarabia) turn against him

like. that has to be a shock right??? AND THEN HE JUST. welcomes him back into his life like it was nothing im just. kALIM. SWEETIE.

and i mean i get its for the best since if anyone knew what actually happened anything could happen to jamil (and jamil has his own reasons i get that but this is about kalim)

but he still hangs around him. has him as his aide. so while something did change, it also feels like nothing changed at the same time.

"I'm always chosen. Always. That's such an obvious truth that I never even consciously processed it. But now I see that was only possible because of Jamil's constant sacrifices. He created that "truth" in my mind by always holding back. By always letting me win. ...It stings. "Galling" doesn't even begin to describe it." (Book 5 • Chapter 30)

also like one of the very few times he expresses how he feels about something (how it hurts not to be chosen for the first time, and/or that he was only chosen because of someone else so he wants to work hard)

and then grim shuts him down with "You wanna talk about galling? Imagine how I feel not even makin' the cut for the audition to start with."

like. COME ON.

Kalim responds with, "Ah, you're right. My bad! I didn't mean to rub it in. Goodness, there I go again! I'm super sorry, honest."

and yeah it can seem kind of spoiled but also. its probably because of that that he doesnt want to share his troubles because he's very privileged so it feels like he might not deserve to act like its anything when everyone else has to work so much harder, right?

AND ITS JUST. REAFFIRMING TO HIM THAT his troubles are nothing compared to anyone elses and im just aghhauihduadhw

he also cares a lot about other people (people like him as housewarden because he listens to their troubles and supports them) so i just. want him to be able to take a moment to care about himself and just admit these things that he usually doesnt get the chance to.

i got a lot more worked up than i meant to

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

Ep. 15 "The Cavalry Has Arrived" Review

To say that I am happy is an understatement. I am beyond satisfied with the finale of TBB. For me, it was perfect and I cried several times. This was about a family. Of course, there are small things I would've liked to see more of, but that's more nitpicking. I watched the finale twice today and I am happy. I guess if I had to say anything, it's that I wanted more. I love these characters and I could spend hours with them.

From a more constructive criticism side (just to get it out of the way): I definitely think the writers needed more time overall with this show. There are corners that had to be cut and you can see it. The pacing is rushed at times. While I'm still happy with the final result, you can tell it really needed more time for character moments. I don't necessarily blame the writers; I blame Disney for not giving them more time. Jen and Brad are very capable of both action and character depth, but it's clear they didn't have the time for both.

On another note, the music and animation were phenomenal. The rain animation looked so real to me, especially when dripping off of the characters. Everything was stunning. And the music, like my gosh. The Kiners popped off here. Crosshair's theme and Omega's theme are two absolutely beautiful pieces of music and I really enjoyed hearing them throughout the episode. And my gosh, tension during the final stand against Hemlock was perfect. The music was incredible and I rewatch that sequence because of it (and other things).

Spoiler time; you know the drill 😎 This will be long, fair warning.

Crosshair's conversation with Wrecker and Hunter was truly heartbreaking. You can hear the guilt in his voice, especially when he admits he feels like he deserves to 'Plan 99' himself. To hear Crosshair admit that hurt. His past mistakes weigh heavily on him. However, I loved that Hunter stepped up and told him no. Family sticks together no matter what. It's a far cry from S1, where Hunter and Cross both left each other. But now, nothing will split their little family up. Crosshair's theme playing over that whole sequence had me in shambles.

The whole fight sequences with the operatives was also really well done. I can't imagine what would've happened if Hemlock managed to condition the boys. Omega got Cross out at the right time; if he'd stay'd there a few weeks longer, then Hemlock would've definitely adjusted the conditioning machine in time to fully break him. Luckily, Crosshair avoided that fate. Still, to know that he suffered in that machine for 5 months is heartbreaking. The operatives are true killing machines, devoid of life.

I can't believe I live in a world where Crosshair got Jaime Lannister'd. AND IM A HARDCORE JAIME STAN. This wasn't on my 2024 bingo card! I will say though, I can see why some people personally don't agree with it as a writing decision. Cutting off his had doesn't magically "fix" anything; it honestly will just add to his trauma. But at the same time, I love whump and there is symbolism of Crosshair being truly free. He is now just Crosshair and that's enough.

Omega really learned from the best, didn't she? Seeing her help the other kids and free the Zillo was epic. I got so many Ezra vibes from her as she slipped in and out of the vents of Tantiss. The faith and trust she has in her brothers is truly heartwarming. And it makes the epilogue feel even sweeter. Omega knows they raised her well and she can take care of herself because of that. She's grown so much since that first time seeing her on Kamino. It feels like looking in a mirror sometimes, at least for me. I see a lot of my life reflected in her, just like I do with Crosshair. It hits home.

The final standoff with Hemlock was definitely my favorite part outside the ending. I loved the music, the animation, and seeing Hunter and Crosshair work together. There is such trust between the brothers and Omega. Despite Crosshair's worries, there is no moment that Hunter doubts Crosshair's abilities. Hunter knows Cross will make it. He assures Cross that Omega also trusts her brother's abilities. And the hug after Hemlock died was so beautiful. I love that Omega hugged Crosshair first; he needed that.

Hemlock's demise was perfect. I kept joking that I just wanted him to fall off of Tantiss because it would be so pathetic. And guess what? He did fall off of Tantiss (after getting shot before hand).

Echo of course was awesome! Loved how he commented that he knew Omega was the one to release the Zillo. I also loved how he did get to fulfill his wish of freeing the clones and even lead them into battle against the operatives. The last domino still stands and I couldn't be happier. (Also glad that Emerie lived. She deserved it after realizing how messed up everything was).

Nala Se and Rampart were also handled well. Rampart never changed and I'm glad he didn't. Some people are just not nice, even after getting served humble juice. Meanwhile, I will cut Nala Se some slack. I will never forget Fives. However, she did save Omega so there's that. And she took out Rampart.

Overall, I'm just really glad that everyone made it out in the end. I would've been fine with a sacrifice, but the Batch was constantly being forcibly split apart, I'm glad that they now get a break and can be family. (Tech lives on in all their hearts). They will be ok and they know that. TBB was my comfort show and seeing that final shot of the Batch reminded me that I will be ok. Stuff happens, but somehow, things will work themselves out.

And the epilogue! I wish we got old man Crosshair and Wrecker (maybe one day we will), but it makes sense why it was only Hunter and Omega. He's her primary father figure and their relationship has been one of the driving forces of the show. For so long, Hunter has been very protective Omega, almost going too far at times. However, he learns to let her go and trusts that she will be ok. He is at peace knowing he, Wrecker, and Crosshair (and Tech + Echo) raised her well. It reminded me so much of my own experiences with my parents and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect epilogue. It also hit hard seeing Omega as an adult; she was so tiny in the beginning.

Anyways, that was a long review. I am overall thrilled with the final and I'm glad everything wrapped up neatly. I'm sure we will see Wolffe, Cody, and Rex in another project; their story isn't over. But Clone Force 99's is. They struggled so much and are now finally able to rest. The epilogue confirms that Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair got to grow old and watch their kid grow up. For me, there's such a beauty to that. In a galaxy that is riddled by war and darkness, there is hope for a better future. The Bad Batch started as a group of "defective" clones, but in the end, they became something so much more: a family. And in my eyes, that is the perfect ending.