#it doesnt help that I have to improv poses and expressions and stuff a thing that Im not good enough at style emulation to do well

[arolesbianism]

I love drawing Aris as sif so much she's so cutsies. It almost makes up for the horrors of having to draw her as sif. Almost.

[dojae-huh]

I'm late but I want to give my personal opinion on the whole hierarchy and doyoungs role in 127 and nct in whole.

Doyoung might seem like the most pitiful member as some fans like to point out that hes "bullied the most" or how all the jokes are abt him. When I believe that doyoung is so different on screen and off that the members only have the option to bully him on screen.

Look at the way most ppl react to doyoung or how he can control situations hes not even big part of. Doyoung being bossy in the practice room or the way he is the only neo who keeps discussing the why he should sing in the booth makes u realise he not the type to agree to stuff quickly. U have to make ur point and him to agree with it to get on with stuff.

Doyoung might seem like the soft cute bunny he wants us to see but I'm reminded time and again that he is one ambitious and one track minded person. He doesnt mind ppl joking abt his intelligence or his poses coz he knows fans are eating up his poses with him being submissive

Or him showing off his sexy face or expressions. The boy is good with the fanservice {which isnt bad at all coz unlike him being like usual idols who tell their fans that they should be number one in the fans life (cough cough taemin being possessive abt fans liking other groups) he reminds fans to live their own lives and think of nct as a small part of their happier life)

Doyoung I agree can be alittle bossy and that's what sometimes doesnt sit well with neos who are. lose to him and while he can force to improve (yuta), but hes also very impersonal with other neos like renjun still being a colleague and not given the special place that it seems even jisung has. Doyoung has personal and work boundaries and he keeps them that way, hes good with on camera persona so ppl dont usually guess wht his real relationship is like with others.

He also gives the amount of attention want when needed so ppl think hes giving them special treatment while keeping the same ppl on a distance. (Jiyoung and jaehyun have both talked abt it but in different capacities)

Doyoung isnt just the co-leader hes the one who makes things happen. Taeyong is alot softer, personally I feel like tae is the good cop whole doyoung usually takes on the bad cop role bts. Hes the one ppl always say is in control and also the one who makes thing happen for neos in the company.

Doyoung fights with the management for shows and ideas to be pushed (YouTube content) but also follows the management team as he knows they have to follow the higher ups now to able to be allowed more freedom in future. The funny thing was the the official pics of LSM are with dotae as if they both are the leaders. Doyoung was the one who went on the show with mark and kun too, when the neos had to introduce the nct concept and talk abt their future. It really does seem like it's not just the management who he keeps close to but also LSM.

It's never too late. I'd actually would like to get more opinions on the topic.

Before I continue with my reply, I want to stress that "different bts" doesn't mean that Doyoung is faking his caring and indulging character. If he did, neos wouldn't love him so much.

Doyoung isn't strict in a straightforward way. For example, Jungwoo can be dismissive (calm down, hyung) and not get repriminded for it. Over-familiarity is OK.

There are two neos who like to reveal stuff: Johnny and Yuta. And both of them say that off stage Doyoung is dry and serious, that he changes the most. Johnny highlights Do's involvement with the management and Yuta talks how Do is the most reliable and gives good advice. We know that Do helped Yuta with singing and gives his opinions to Haechan.

To me, a good example of the way Doyoung is bts is his guesting on "Hello councelor", when one of the female hosts (with a bun) asked him to scold a participant (an older man). She is an experienced variety host, her job is to judge celebreties and guests of the shows quiickly. Therefore, her tasking a young meakly looking idol with such tasks shows what she saw in him. 

It's also the way how quickly Doyoung starts to call much older idols as friends (i.e. same level as him). Kyu-line, Fersen-line. The way he makes fun (not in a bad way, in a familiar way) of the way they talk.

"Rules are there to be broken" is one of the most revealing things Do said. He follows rules but only those he agrees with.

That moment from bts with Doyoung taking the shades Taeyong selected for himself and not giving them back. He never used the dongsaeng card (hyung, I want it, please), it was Tae who tried to change his mind but gave up in the end. Of course, it was a small thing of no big importance (Do couldn't make Tae not be late despite a lot of nagging), still, shows the dynamic. It’s also an example of how Do fusses over his outward look he presents.

LSM said he watched "It's awkward but it's OK series" (the episode with Do and some other). And he chose Do to give him a finger flick on the head for a tiktok vid. So LSM observes at the least.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Pluralistic: 29 Feb 2020 (EFF dream-job, Medicare For All Bond Villain, Bloomberg's Sackler connection, Tory housing crisis and more!)

Today's links

EFF is hiring a new tech projects director: It's a once-in-a-lifetime dream job.

Bond villain monologue, Medicare for All edition: "No, Mr Bond, I expect you to sign a binding arbitration waiver."

FUCK TRUMP AND HIS STUPID FUCKING WALL: A 26% alcohol habanero spirit from Empirical Spirits.

Mike Bloomberg helped the Sacklers launder their reputations: Just helping out the "Friends of Mike."

Bernie Sanders is the only candidate with a climate plan as big as the climate crisis: No one ever asked how we'd pay for WWII.

Cutting the UK housing subsidy led to massive homelessness payouts: Tories are always swallowing spiders to catch their flies.

This day in history: 2012, 2016 (leap years!)

Colophon: Recent publications, current writing projects, upcoming appearances, current reading

EFF is hiring a new tech projects director (permalink)

There are lots of ways techies can help EFF – contributing code to our projects like Certbot, Privacy Badger and HTTPS Everywhere and/or joining up and writing a check. But right now, there's a rare chance to work directly to make profound change with us.

That's because EFF is hiring a Tech Projects Director.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/02/eff-seeks-tech-projects-director-lead-awesome-technical-team-and-help-us-save

It's a huge gig, the kind of thing that only comes up once in a very long while. You don't just get to oversee the impressive roster of EFF projects, you also get to set future priorities.

"Some people join EFF having been burned by unfeeling tech companies or corporate law jobs, and coming to EFF can feel like coming home – a place where everyone genuinely wants you to be successful, where we do our best to leave drama at the door even as passion is welcomed."

I've been with the org for EIGHTEEN YEARS and this is so, so true.

Even if you're not right for this gig, keep checking in with our help wanted page.

https://www.eff.org/about/opportunities/jobs

We're growing fast, first because the world is severely messed up, and second because our member-donors recognize how well situated we are to make a difference and they're funding us to expand.

Bond villain monologue, Medicare for All edition (permalink)

We're all familiar with the Bond villain setup: "Mr. Bond, I see you've ingested my poison."

But what follows in Matt Haughey's "Monologuing" is a fabulous satirical take on the Medicare For All moment.

https://a.wholelottanothing.org/2020/02/28/monologuing/

"No, Mr Bond, I expect you to…"

Locate in-network doctors on our website

Cross-reference with the benefits PDF you were sent last month

Create a login

Verify your last three home addresses

(before the poison hits)

Call your doctor and agree to see a physician's assistant so you can get treatment in less than 3 week

Agree to a $100 urgent-care co-pay

Pay $1200 for the ambulance to the ER

"Do you expect me to talk?"

"No, I expect you to continue to wait on hold because your call is very important to us and may be monitored for quality assurance purposes."

FUCK TRUMP AND HIS STUPID FUCKING WALL (permalink)

"FUCK TRUMP AND HIS STUPID FUCKING WALL" is "a habanero spirit made from a base of pearled barley, Belgian saison yeast, and koji. The clear product is rectified with a habanero vinegar that gives it a 27% ABV. This imparts an intensely fruity habanero profile without any of the heat."

It actually sounds delicious.

https://us.empiricalspirits.co/products/fuck-trump-and-his-stupid-fucking-wall

It's $85 plus $35 S+H in the USA for 750ml.

Serving suggestion: "With red grapefruit juice, topped with sparkling water and cornichon as garnish"

I'm a little bummed that they take out the capsaicin, as I love spicy booze.

My current favorite is a spicy, sugar-free Old Fashioned:

2 shakes Hellfire bitters 2 shakes Angostura bitters 1 jigger decent bourbon Orange zest (wipe over rim, squeeze into glass, then drop in the drink) Serve over a whiskey rock in a lowball glass

Mike Bloomberg helped the Sacklers launder their reputations (permalink)

The Sackler family became some of the world's richest billionaires through the actions of the family business, Purdue Pharma, which committed a string of felonies as it conspired to addict the world to its killer opioid, Oxycontin. The company's bribery of doctors, scientific frauds, and corruption of its regulators allowed it to kickstart the opioid epidemic, which has so far claimed 200,000 US lives, more than were lost in Vietnam.

And yet, until very recently, the Sackler family was primarily known for its art philanthropy, firehosing its money and name over some of the world's most prominent art institutions. As the family's role in corporate mass murder came to light, artists demanded that institutions remove the Sackler name. It worked! Nan Goldin's stunt of showering the Guggenheim with Sackler opioid prescriptions was just one of many amazing actions.

https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/nan-goldin-leads-a-protest-at-the-guggenheim-against-the-sackler-family

The Louvre also removed every mention of the Sacklers from its spaces.

https://www.france24.com/en/20190721-sackler-name-removed-louvre-opioid-crisis-france?ref=tw_i

But you know who DIDN'T ditch the Sacklers as they were becoming social pariahs? Guess who expressed rock solid billionaire class solidarity with the poor, beleaguered plutes when their reputation laundry failed them?

Mike Bloomberg, of course!

As @propublica reports, when the Sacklers worried about their collapsing reputations, they knew who to turn to: the ex-mayor whose return to his news organization meant that reporters who chased billionaires were sidelined.

https://www.propublica.org/article/bloomberg-sacklers-opioid-crisis-public-relations

While Bloomberg had been mayor, his newsroom created a "billionaires team" that investigated the doings of the super-rich, including the "Friends of Mike" (FOMs) whom everyone understood to be untouchable under Bloomberg's management.

Upon his return, he heaped scorn upon these investigative reporters: "Why is that news? Why do we have to probe into that stuff?" Mike's return to the newsroom created "a culture of not wanting to upset billionaires."

So naturally the Sacklers turned to him! And Bloomberg obliged. After meeting with Mortimer Sackler, Bloomberg gave the Sacklers crisis communications advice and helped them his old mayoral press secretary, Stu Loeser. According to Bloomberg, Loeser was perfect because of his new communications company's "political instincts and deep connections."

Loeser went on to work with the Sacklers as they pushed out the story that opioid addiction was the fault of weak-willed criminal addicts, not corporate drug-pushers.

Loeser now works as a Bloomberg presidential campaign spokesman.

With Bloomberg's help, the Sacklers were able to continue to leverage their philanthropic donations to shore up their reputations, particularly by embarking on joint projects with Bloomberg Philanthropies. Bloomberg posed with Sackler heiresses at the opening of the Sackler Wing of London's Serpentine Gallery (which eventually took the Sackler name off the building), and then served as chair of the Serpentine Sackler Galleries.

His news organization ran multiple, glowing stories about the Sacklers' generosity, and continued to work closely with the Sackler families, even as they were committing a string of crimes.

For example, money laundry to the tune of billions.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-purduepharma-bankruptcy/sacklers-reaped-up-to-13-billion-from-oxycontin-maker-u-s-states-say-idUSKBN1WJ19V

Fraudulent misrepresentations of the company's role in the opioid epidemic.

https://www.propublica.org/article/data-touted-by-oxycontin-maker-to-fight-lawsuits-doesnt-tell-the-whole-story#167506

And giving some of the weirdest, most risible, most terrible testimony in the history of corporate criminal depositions.

https://arstechnica.com/science/2019/02/sackler-behind-oxycontin-fraud-offered-twisted-mind-boggling-defense/

Just more Friends of Mike!

Bernie Sanders is the only candidate with a climate plan as big as the climate crisis (permalink)

The climate crisis is an existential threat to our species (and many other species besides). It turns out that Keynes was more prescient that we knew. He proposed that you could start an economy by paying half the unemployed to dig holes and the other half to fill them in. Instead, we spent more than a century subsidizing our ancestors to dig up fossil fuels and now we'll have to pay our descendants to spend 200-300 years getting all that carbon back into the ground.

If we don't, our civilization will collapse and our species may go extinct. There's no time for half-measures. That's why Bernie Sanders's version of the Green New Deal is such a big deal.

https://www.technologyreview.com/s/615292/bernie-sanders-has-an-audaciousand-hugely-expensiveclimate-plan/

He's the only leadership candidate whose plan actually confronts the scale of the crisis.

The $16T (yes, TRILLION) plan includes $2.5T to convert all US energy to renewables, "ending subsidies, mountaintop-removal coal mining, and the import and export of fossil fuels."

He'll also ask the DoJ to investigate criminal frauds committed by energy sector companies that spent millions to delay action on climate by pumping out disinformation along with their CO2.

The budget also includes $2T for a retrofit of our homes and workplaces, $1T to retrofit roads and other infrastructure.

There's $3.6T to convert the US's vehicles to electric, $85B for charging stations and $100B to improve electric car manufacture.

There's $900B for mass transit and high-speed rail, and $150B to improve emissions from aviation and marine transport.

In all, the plan creates "20 million jobs, while offering wage guarantees, job training, and other assistance to displaced energy workers."

As James Temple writes in MIT Tech Review, there are some odd quirks, like a rejection of carbon capture, but these are issues in the margin that administrative agencies staffed by independent experts (not corporate shills) might tweak.

But this is the plan we need. Remember, no one ever asked how we'd pay for WWII, and a Nazi victory would have merely put half the human race in mortal peril, while the climate crisis threatens us all, and without the hope of regime change down the road.

The purpose of the economy, the justification for markets, is that they promote human prosperity and progress. Scratching in flooded rubble for canned goods and drinking your own urine is not "progress." If our spreadsheets can't figure out how to allocate capital to heading off an extinction-level event, we need new spreadsheets. As our friends at Prager "University" like to remind us, "facts don't care about your feelings."

Cutting the UK housing subsidy led to massive homelessness payouts (permalink)

Margaret Thatcher sold off council houses to create more Tories, on the theory that home ownership made you a Conservative. But the end of council estates just meant that private landlords were able to gouge local governments for substandard housing for poor people. Predictably, this only worsened, with rents spiraling for poorly maintained, dangerous housing. Eventually, David Cameron got a genius idea: he'd cut how much money families could spend on private rent.

After all, this was much more politically feasible than ordering landlords to provide decent housing at a fair price. Landlords make campaign contributions and vote Tory, and a majority of Tory MPs are landlords themselves.

https://www.thelondoneconomic.com/news/corbyn-tried-pass-law-make-homes-safe-last-year-conservatives-rejected/14/06/

By contrast, council tenants vote Labour and are (by definition) too poor to bribe politicians. Just as with Thatcher's selloff, the outcome of Cameron's policy was totally predictable to anyone whose wealth didn't depend on their denying it.

People couldn't pay their rent, so they became homeless.

You know what's more expensive than paying rent for poor people? Helping homeless people. The savings from Cameron's cruel policy of limiting rent subsidies were totally wiped out by the millions more that local governments had to pay to find temporary shelter for the wave of homelessness Cameron had created.

That's not all, of course. Voter turnout among affected households plummeted, and when they did vote, it was in the Brexit referendum, where the housing benefit cuts strongly correlated with a Leave vote: "We also observe that a one standard deviation increase in the level of exposure to the cut in a district is associated with up to a 2.2 percentage point greater level of support for 'Leave'."

https://voxeu.org/article/housing-insecurity-homelessness-and-populism

The inability of the British private sector to build affordable housing and the unwillingness of the public sector to fill in the gap has produced a ghastly quality of life. In Camden, £1500/month gets you a 27sqm "flat" whose bed is literally a mattress wedged next to the toilet.

https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/29/uk/london-renting-compared-berlin-gbr-grm-intl/index.html

And yet, Greater London has never had a better ratio of bedrooms to people. It's just that HALF the beds in the region are empty on any given night. But with 60% of the UK national wealth represented by property in the southeast, the last thing the Tories want to do is fix this misallocation, which has been such a boon to the ownership class.

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/feb/14/great-housing-disaster-danny-dorling-review

This day in history (permalink)

#8yrsago In Minecraft, a fountain of cats at the top of the world https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=iNw2YcAK9Wc#!

#8yrsago Smithsonian building archive of printable 3D scans https://www.cnet.com/news/smithsonian-turns-to-3d-to-bring-collection-to-the-world/

#8yrsago Finance industry bemoans hard times in an era of reduced bonuses https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2012-02-29/wall-street-bonus-withdrawal-means-trading-aspen-for-cheap-chex

#4yrsago Crapgadget apocalypse: the IoT devices that punch through your firewall and expose your network https://krebsonsecurity.com/2016/02/this-is-why-people-fear-the-internet-of-things/

#4yrsago Press looks the other way as thousands march for Sanders in 45+ cities https://web.archive.org/web/20160314104804/http://usuncut.com/politics/media-blackout-as-thousands-of-bernie-supporters-march-in-45-cities/

#4yrsago FBI claims it has no records of its decision to delete its recommendation to encrypt your phone https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20160226/14181133727/fbi-claims-it-has-no-record-why-it-deleted-recommendation-to-encrypt-phones.shtml

Colophon (permalink)

Today's top sources: Alice Taylor (https://twitter.com/wonderlandblog), Naked Capitalism (https://nakedcapitalism.com/) and Slashdot (https://slashdot.org/.

Hugo nominators! My story "Unauthorized Bread" is eligible in the Novella category and you can read it free on Ars Technica: https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/

Upcoming appearances:

Canada Reads Kelowna: March 5, 6PM, Kelowna Library, 1380 Ellis Street, with CBC's Sarah Penton https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/cbc-radio-presents-in-conversation-with-cory-doctorow-tickets-96154415445

Currently writing: I just finished a short story, "The Canadian Miracle," for MIT Tech Review. It's a story set in the world of my next novel, "The Lost Cause," a post-GND novel about truth and reconciliation. I'm getting geared up to start work on the novel now, though the timing is going to depend on another pending commission (I've been solicited by an NGO) to write a short story set in the world's prehistory.

Currently reading: Just started Lauren Beukes's forthcoming Afterland: it's Y the Last Man plus plus, and two chapters in, it's amazeballs. Last month, I finished Andrea Bernstein's "American Oligarchs"; it's a magnificent history of the Kushner and Trump families, showing how they cheated, stole and lied their way into power. I'm getting really into Anna Weiner's memoir about tech, "Uncanny Valley." I just loaded Matt Stoller's "Goliath" onto my underwater MP3 player and I'm listening to it as I swim laps.

Latest podcast: Gopher: When Adversarial Interoperability Burrowed Under the Gatekeepers' Fortresses: https://craphound.com/podcast/2020/02/24/gopher-when-adversarial-interoperability-burrowed-under-the-gatekeepers-fortresses/

Upcoming books: "Poesy the Monster Slayer" (Jul 2020), a picture book about monsters, bedtime, gender, and kicking ass. Pre-order here: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781626723627?utm_source=socialmedia&utm_medium=socialpost&utm_term=na-poesycorypreorder&utm_content=na-preorder-buynow&utm_campaign=9781626723627

(we're having a launch for it in Burbank on July 11 at Dark Delicacies and you can get me AND Poesy to sign it and Dark Del will ship it to the monster kids in your life in time for the release date).

"Attack Surface": The third Little Brother book, Oct 20, 2020.

"Little Brother/Homeland": A reissue omnibus edition with a very special, s00per s33kr1t intro.

[aspiestvmusings]

Personal, unpopular opinion on grief [ZEP S1 EDITION]

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SENSITIVE TOPICS: GRIEF & DEATH OF LOVED ONES. DO NOT READ IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT NOT HANDLE READING ABOUT SUCH TOPICS. 

This post was inspired by ZEP (”Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist” & the Season  1 storyline...that is related to Zoey’s dad, Mitch & what’s we all knew would happen..soon/in the S1 finale. His death. And the grief..,      other characters feelings about what’s to come and (now) what’s happened. 

In this post I will discuss some of the things related to grief that the show/storyline (creator, writers) talk about, and that the cast talk about. How they talk about grief. And I will discuss some of the things related to death & grief...from my personal experience.  

But first, I'd like to start with a few important points: 

1. All humans (and all fictional characters) are different. So we all process things differently & act differently...in same/similar situations. This also applies to grief and grieving, and feelings about life & death. These characters way of dealing with grief is “valid”, and so is mine. But its just strange that only one POV seems to be represented on the show...mostly (and yes, we see it all through Zoey’s eyes, so it’s her POV that dominates) 

What would have worked better on ZEP... IMO: 

What I would have appreciated from the show is for them to show both sides more. To have characters express different views  on grief, and death. More, and longer than they did with Deb in 1x11 & Howie’s speech to Zoey in 1x12. It would’ve been more believable if not everyone was seeing it the same way...if there’s been counter-arguments. 

Like...regarding the idea that only someone, who has had the exact same experience (lost their dad/husband), would understand you/your grief. They really hammered that “truth” with Zoey/Simon grief connection. And even a bit with Zoey finding another widow, Deb, to talk to her mom...cause she herself hadn’t lost a husband of 30+ years...so she would not understand (but, really, it’s more about her inability to deal with/express her emotions, and hiding them, and needing help with understanding others emotions...which her new sperpower is supposed to help her with]. They also had the whole family deal with it all pretty similarily. 

Just have one character tell Zoey that she doesn’t need someone with the same experience to have them understand her, and support her, and help her through this. That having the same experience does not automatically mean “instant connection”. Because...every death/experience is different, and so are Zoey’s & Simon’s...so it doesn’t even make sense to me that they’d automatically connect cause both lost their fathers. Why did no one point that out to her? Why did no one ever pose a counter argument? 

And why does she/the show seem to think that no one else has the same experience and/or would understand? I mean...most adults have lost someone by the time they turn 25... so if we’d get to know the characters more, we’d probably learn all of them have lost someone (maybe not a parent, but perhaps a grandparent?) They did that...a bit..with Joan & her mom story in 1x10. But again... too little, too “late”. She would’ve really needed to hear those things...sooner. Realizing that she can connecct to others...and others can connect to her. That all it takes is someone who wants to help her...and be there for her... whether they have the same experience or not. (maybe Tobin has lost someone, and it would’ve been helpful for Zoey to connect to him/talk to him?

This made it really hard (read: impossible) to “get” their grief bond, or take it “seriously”: Because the idea that no one questioned this just seemed ..strange. Sure..Zoey definitely believes this to be true, but... for no other character to question the validity of it... just seemed... too... strange. And since I personally don’t think that one needs to have the same experience to understand other person, and be the shoulder they lean on...but that instead it just takes someone who knows you and wants to be there for you... it was difficult to buy the whole “grief bond” they were selling. 

Which is probably why I never got their “connection”. And only saw it as lust from both sides, and just her/them displacing their greif...and nothing more. So that...and the fact that as human as having feelings for someone else while youre engaged is, I DO NOT support the storyline which tries to say that just because Simon is hot it’s ok for him to have an emotional affair with Zoey while he’s engaged. That somehow the hotness factor makes it OK, cause it’s “very human”, and “grief made him do it”. Nope...I’d quote Mo here, just replacing “powers” with “grief”. Mo’s words to her “Don’t blame the powers grief. This one’s all on you.” apply here...IMO. They both need to do better!

And I also had a hard time “believing” that a brain-person like Zoey (she’s a coder,  problem-solver) would be so irrational, and even though she’s also presented as “a hot mess kind of person”, her irrationality & behaviours just seemed not something I’d expect from someone like her. I, too, see world s black & white. So this is why to me two options remain: either she is just shouting cichees & lies to others OR she is out-of-character (by choice, not cause of grief or powers). I mean... she understood issues with grief and gave great advice to Simon since ep 1...yet she herself did the opposite. She made all the mistakes he had made (not learning from him, but choosing the same wrong route, not taking her own advice: talk to someone..etc). 

For me, personally, I cannot “connect” with the characters (Clarke family...or the showrunner, whose said that his experiences/feels are represented by the characters) and their grief, even though I’ve had similar exprience (with my dad ... though it wasn’t a rare disease, but cancer). But no two people, not two different deaths are similar. And I guess I (and my family) are less emotional & more logical...when it comes to topics of life & death. Our (and especially mine) view is more like the other option Howie, the caregiver, presented to Zoey as they ate ice cream and talked about what’s to come..in the S1 finale. 

I have, in general, a hard time buying the show, because I’m just too logical and brain person, and this is still a TV show...even if it’s based on real life events. It’s still adapted, and fictional elements have been added...to fit it for screen. So... since it was hard for me to believe that in all the prior months...ever since Mitch had been diagnosed... no one had really done any of the things they all suddenly came up with... 

Like realizing there are ways to communicate with Mitch ( or...try to communicate with him)...even if he can’t really speak or move. Suddenly Zoey has an idea to create a computer programme which lets her dad type his messages. Like..she’s smart, and tech savvy...and in no way do I find it believeble that she’d not thought of this before she got her superpower...and was motivated only by hearing his thoughts. Did no doctor inform them about the details of her fathers condition? Did everone claim he is already unable to understand speech etc...with 100% certainty? Did none of them just try to talk to him...etc...without being sure he can hear/understand...still? You know...like they encourage talking to people in coma, for example. 

Like...coming to the idea of a chairlift...before Mitch actually fell..while being helped up the stairs. What did they do all the prior months? When he’d already lost the ability to walk? When he still was able to talk? For a family that is so close, I find it quite unbelievable that they never talked about...anything. Even if they touched upon this in episode 1x11 when Zoey asked Maggie why they didnt do any of the planning sooner, she claims none of them expected it to happen so fast. Like...their doctor seems OK, so how are they so uninformed? When we know that Zoeys style is to read up on all the topics she wants to know about. She would read all the research there is...so she’d know... quite a bit. 

Like them thinking that a temporary improvement means a “cure”. None of them are clueless, they’re all smart, so I don’t also buy them not knowing that this is progressive, and there is no cure, and after the person loses as many abilities as Mitch had by the time we met this family (hard to swallow,  no speech...), then they don’t have much time left. Same with these smart people not knowing that based on several observations... most people report that dying people usually become “alert/more responsive”..just before the end. So... Mitch having a good day the day before he died was a clear sign he’s about to die.

Like...if we actually analyse it, it seems as if they “stood still” for months...ever since Mitch was diagnosed. And then suddenly...”thanks” to Zoey’s superpower, they start getting ideas, and do stuff, and talk to each other... which doesnt seem to have happened...at all... during all the prior months. How? 

It just seems too much “done to fit the TV format”, and it doesn’t seem to make much sense...actually... 

MY OWN EXPERIENCES: 

I lost my first grandfather when I was a kid & he was only in his 60s (so quite young). That was an unexpeted & sudden event that no one saw coming (example: heart attack, stroke). I lost my other grandparents when I was in my 20s (they both lived a full life: 84 & 92...and were ready to go) & I lost my last grandma last year (she was almost 89...and outlived her husband by around 25 years)...after her health had been declining... for a while. And I lost my father about 3 years ago (he was in his 60s)... knowing he had max 6 months left by then. 

I will talk, a bit, about my dad, who died 3 years ago, in 2017, and my finnish grandma, who died last year...just a month before her 89th birthday. 

                              **************************************

With my dad... I had kinda lost him once before, because 5 years earlier he had a serious health issue, and his heart stopped on the operating table. But he was revived. And though he was in a coma for over a week, he did survive, and had no permanent damage. He had to go through extensive physiotherapy and learn to walk properly again, and hold a spoon again (fine motorskills), but his mind/brain/memory was unharmed. But...nonetheless, I sat beside him while he was in a coma, and I sat beside him after he had woken up... 

That health issue lead to his cancer diagnosis though...cause without it he’d never gone to see a doc on his own, and wouldn’t have known, probably. He was stage 3 when diagnosed, and though he tried all kinds of different treatment options, it progressed to stage 4 (that’s what lifetime of smoking does to your lungs!), and by 2016 he had metastasis in his spine..etc, and it was clear he had months/max a year left. It was a guesswork though how long exactly. 

But his medicine cabinet was more impressive than Mitch’s by the end. It got more serious at the end of 2016, and he basically survived with extra oxygene (help from a “ventilator”) & “morphine”. He probably would’ve kept himself alive for several more months, but he had a health issue in January 2017, and his body was just too weak (from chemo, from treatments from...) that he didn’t make it this time. And though I/we had longer than a year to “prepare”, these fictional characters also had time...

Yet, for me, personally, that death was not as hard. (in all honesty, I’d been expecting his cancer diagnosis since I was in highschool... I honestly couldn’t believe he had any lungs left...with his heavy smoking)

                               *****************************************

For me, personally, the hardest was my other grandma’s end of life.. The one who died last year. But not the death...but her last years instead. And though my first grandma (who died almost 15 years ago) had memory issues during her last years, cause she’d had 2 stokes & she kept mixing up people & events (calling people by wrong name, mixing us up), she had my grandpa by her side...til the end. But with my other grandma... whose health had been declining...step by step..over past 5-10 years, it was different. To the point that my aunt/her daughter was her guardian, cause she wasn’t capable of making her own decisions anymore... even if at times she had a clear mind. And one of those times was her last, 88th Birthday in 2018. 

She never vebalized it...never was able to say the words (though she did talk... a bit), but I could see it in her eyes/look... she wanted to go... but “modern medicine” was keeping her body alive. And for me it was hard, because I am a supporter of a persons choice to choose assisted ending, but I’m the only one in the family who really supports this. And since she never actually said the words, and since I could not be 100% sure that what I thought I “read in her eyes” was what she was actually thinking, I could not be sure. But I considered her last 1-2 years of life just torture for her. So... as sad as I was, I was relieved when I got the call a year ago, on May 26th (exactly one month before her next birthday would’ve been)...that she’d died, I was happy that she “didn’t have to suffer anymore”. We scattered her ashes one month later, in last June, on what would have been her 89th birthday.

If my mom and aunt, who were there with her during her lasts days, would have told me the day before how “perky” she seemed the day before she passed, I would’ve known that it’s about to happen. But they told me when they called after it had happened. 

Death has never been something to fear in our family. My grandparents (their story is like a fairytale, where after she was gone he had "no reason to hold onto life anymore”, so he went just 4 months later...) even prepped everything themselves. They were prepared, though Mo on the show is more prepared. They had everything chosen & organized & planned (the plot, the main details), so everything was done according to their “notes” basically. With others it’s been more general...like where (which cemetary) they wanna be buried and/or cremated. 

        Yes, there is a lot under the (and etcetera)...from dealing with subsciptions on the persons name... to the bank... to job related stuff... next to the actual “burial event”. And while a good funeral home helps you a lot... and does a lot of the work for you (transportation...etc), then there is a lot that you/the family have to do before/after all this. But still... it’s not that difficult to get it all done. I did half the work when my dad died (lots of calls, emails, visits to offices/banks...etc).. to deal with all the paperwork and more. 

I understand that I may sound like a cold person to many, but in my experience death & funerals have never been “end of the world”...like they’re often done on TV. Cause in most cases they only show death & grief in one way on TV.... as “end of the world drama”. When we need more POV’s like the other option Howie represented to Zoey. (and then the characters can choose which was is their way)

So...honestly, I have a hard time “connecting” with the ZEP season 1 grief  plot....the way it was done. Even though I can draw many parallels between Mitch(’s health) & my dad(’s health). We knew that he had not much left, but he ended up going faster & “unexpectedly” so he was gone about a month after his health took a turn to the worse...and we had known that all there was left to do was to wait... 

And yet, based on most of the online comments, reviews, etc..I’ve seen online, most find it easy to connect, and “feel the same way” and I seem to be alone in my “weirdness” and different look at the grief and greif storyline. 

AM I ALONE IN THINKING THIS WAY? (MOST LIKELY) 

Did anyone else find it hard to believe the Zoey/SImon “grief connection” they tried to establish? 

Did anyone else find it hard to believe that such a close family had just been sitting & waiting for months (ever since last year, when Mitch was diagnosed), and not done anything....until Zoey’s superpower makes them magically start taking all sorts of steps? 

Did anyone think that the focus was not enough of the family, da/daughter, and grief...and too much on the love triangle? (even if the two storylines are connected...strongly)

[hatboxghosty]

Not to be a bother, but do you have any tips for staying motivated? For example, I just picked up drawing last year after being too depressed and doubtful in myself to do it for many years before that. But even though I have a desire to improve my skills now, I have an immense amount of trouble getting myself motivated to do the practice actually needed to improve. Like, at most, I practice only a couple times per week. So I'm not improving at the pace I want, and I'm really dissatisfied tbh

Thats understandable! I know exactly what thats like! Sometimes, practice doesnt seem like fun and can be difficult to understand or like, even DO. I learnt that! When i was younger I would get frustrated because I wasnt improving, It didnt seem like i was doing better and I was doing all of those little ‘improvement exercises’! Like you know what the professionals do? With the circles and the crosshatch and the big fancy proportion tutorials.

And while those are super useful and definitely suggested! What really helped me was picking something i was really interested in; my characters, my favourite characters, places i liked, things i enjoyed and incorporated that! So I would practice portraits with my characters, Id use my art not just as ‘practice’ but building things up to go into a project! I gave my art its own little purpose so my practice on poses would express something about the characters personalities and backgrounds would include as much personality and lil hidden things as I could give them!

I also looked at art styles I really liked and incorporated bits of that into my work too! Its tricky, but once you use practice as another way of drawing stuff you enjoy and working to get to a certain style you enjoy; it will be a lot more fun and motivating! It also helps to have a few ideas! So writin down a few things you want to see or want to aim for! I dont usually follow my list to a T, but it helps offshoot other ideas and what i want to achieve yknow?

Either way I know youll find a way that youll enjoy and have fun with!! I know im not very helpful but I hope something made sense there! Good luck!!

[freakypumpkin]

dude seeing your art makes me so happy everytime, it's so beautiful i don't even have words. i was just wondering how you practiced drawing bodies when you started out, and if you maybe had an example on how you work on construction lines and such? bc when i draw bodies they always end up looking stiff and the proportions look off and weird and yeah. i'd really want to improve /quickly/ or efficiently but everytime i try to practice i end up frustrated bc it doesnt look like i want it to at all

Thank you very much :) I’m always happy to hear, that people enjoy my art experiments :D and just art in general.

As for your question, I pretty much practiced through trial and error and youtube tutorials. By now there’s great and helpful stuff on youtube. Important is, that you see everything as half-true, nobody has the perfect wisdom for you because nobody draws like you. You should look through some things and see what works for you or what kind of result you want. (The same for whatever I have to say, btw, if it doesn’t work for you, then it’s not because you’re bad, it’s just not the right method for you.)

I hope, something of this will be somehow helpful, but as always feel free to ask when there’s still something unclear or you have more questions. (I always feel like I ramble a lot.)

What I did:

Learning about the general measurements of the body.-> I have a mental checklist by now, I keep in mind when drawing bodies and on there I have different information about how big/long the parts of the body are in comparison to other parts: Most prominently I use - the thighs have about the length of the upper body- your elbows are at the height of your waist- the full length of the arms reaches the middle of your thighs- the hands with fingers are as long as the face- the lower arm is slightly shorter than the upper arm … basically, when you think, something is off, look at your own body and sometimes it also helps recreating the pose and see how it looks and how far, for example, your arms can actually reach, when you make a certain move. 

The same goes for the face. Like, depending on how realistic you want to work, the space between your eyes has the length of your eyes for example. Or that the line of the lips is parallel to the line of the eyes, and that the eyes are usually more in the center of the face, than you’d think. (I have the tendency to place them too far towards the corner of the face.)

These are the proportions, that often help a drawing, when you feel like something is off - at least for me - it tends to be because an arm is longer than the other or something like that, the head is too small/big, etc. If you’re not sure, go through the different parts and look how they behave in size compared to the rest of the body. And when you look at photographs, look at how long something is compared to something else or how thick and also when you want to draw somebody muscular, look at references and look at where the silhouette of the body differs from somebody non-muscular, how do muscles influence the proportions and where are they (you often already get different necklines for different body types).

Then about movement: 

First off: Fluid movement is difficult, don’t beat yourself up about it too much. And I already mean something ‘simple’ like walking or running, because it’s one thing to make a drawing where somebody can recognize ‘Ah, the character is running’ and where they can actually feel them running (sounds cheesy, I know), where the weight is positioned right and the hair moves accordingly and so on.-> So, start small, don’t aim too high too soon, if you try to skip the steps in between, you’re going to hurt yourself.

(Second: With portraying movement well, the composition of your drawing also plays a role, too. So there are a lot of factors, that play into whether or not movement looks good. It’s not something you do on just one level.)

Now, what I mostly did here, is learn and practice foreshortening and  perspective in general, and not just with bodies, just drawing simple objects in a certain perspective can already help to work up your three-dimensional thinking and the awareness of the fact, that in a certain perspective or position for example parts of the body are simply not visible. 

Other than that, I usually look at drawings, that I admire because of their motion and try to analyze why I like them so much, what catches my attention about the motion, then I try to copy that and break the often more complex drawing down into the most basic lines. You don’t need details and shading to sell the motion itself, they help, but don’t carry it. For this, it’s also always interesting to look into behind the scenes drawings of animators and such. Well-animated animes are always great for that study or movies.

Also, first practice proportion, then go into motion. If you don’t have your proportions worked out, your motion won’t look good.

And now just some general things about improving efficiently. 

- Daily practice, just stick to pencil sketches. (If you want to, maybe try out sketching with color pencils, so it’s not always grey.) But do at least one each day, fill your sketchbook pages.

- Concentrate on what you want to practice, choose smaller parts of the body. One week you only draw hands, the next one it’s only feet, then you get to full upper bodies or facial expressions, take your pick, but if you’re having trouble with full bodies, go step by step. (The human body is complex as hell.)

- Watch the people around you (as creepy as that sounds, but try not to be creepy). If you see somebody talking with their hands, look at for example, with what hand gesture which part of the fingers are visible, how big/long are they compared to each other.

- Erase every line, that doesn’t belong. You drew a perfect hand, but it’s not in the right space? Erase it, you will draw great hands again.

Some technical stuff I do:

- For the first sketch, when you hold your pencil, move your fingers a bit further up, so you’ll have less control over where exactly the line goes, which helps to create more dynamic lines and it helps with not putting too much pressure on it right from the start.

- I started sketching with an 0.35 mechanical pencil, which gave me more room for details, which ended up being a lot more relaxing for the sketching process. :)

And in the end: Don’t stress yourself, seriously. If you practice every day, you will notice, how some things will get easier, how you start building up a form of archive of lines for different things, and you will get faster at getting the right expression down on paper.

Be kind to yourself, breathe. If you don’t get anywhere with one sketch, start another, just don’t throw your sketchbook out of the window. :)

P.S.: Unfortunately I don’t have anything, that would show my work with construction lines properly because my sketches tend to get very messy or I just erase the helping lines when I don’t need them anymore. I would have to film the process to show how I do it, I think. Would there be an interest in seeing how I sketch?