#and i get that. but to me that just means they shouldve done one more episode yk. ESPECIALLYYY if this is Figs sendoff.
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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so very quick and sketchy but i was getting vague designs for all the tldc ladies down in one place
not so sure on gwendolen and gwilanna and i havent looked back at the books for details yet but these were just a quick cool down for the night 🫶
#ragnar art#tldc#the last dragon chronicles#fuck it sure ill main tag#too many characters (seven) fend for yourelves on this one#i um. i might be working on (have conceptualised and planned to death) an animatic#and thus actually had to figure out what people look like#im very faceblind n have aphantasia. so if they're not all on one page idk what they look like and/or if they look similar#read a little bit more of firestar and made myself sick thinking about gwilanna and her baby :(#oh old lady... come hang out with me we can... idk eat mushrooms and kick rocks together#cant wait for my gwilanna blorbo era. MOVE OVER david and tam its about to get uncomfortable in here (my brain) for you two#just Oh my god i get it now. girl id've done worse for grief. she shouldve blown the whole planet up and i'd cheer her on the whole way#<- doesnt remember most of her storyline BUT remembers The Vibes clearly#love a mean old fuck especially if they're a major antagonist. do NOT ask me about my relationship with my parents 🤡 /j#omg i also fixed my tablet's colour settings for the first time since i got it (2....3 years ago??) and wow. i dont have to fuck about#in the colour profile before i post anymore. technology is amazing <3 (i am an idiot)
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I know they all dressed up and everything for the final battle but I truly think if they'd ended this episode when TBK arrived in the red crystal realm, and then started the next episode (ep 21) getting deeper into TBK's rage reflections, and then we'd had like a whole episode of wrap-up after that, the ending would have been sooo much more satisfying to me. I know that isn't how it works with filming schedules and budgets and stuff but. let me dream
#i feel like theres so many things i was waiting on that just. werent addressed ykwim.#wtf were kalinas motivations thru this season. what of kipperlillys family. why didnt we catch up w bucky in the epilogue.#all this plus i would really really really have liked a LOT more time paying tribute to Fig's friendship with TBK if this is it for her#not to complain! it was a good season but with the ally portals opening and brennan giving SO MANY CHANCES for divine intervention#it was fairly clear that the finale was rushed by time constraints (they said in adventuring party that they went over time filming & such)#and i get that. but to me that just means they shouldve done one more episode yk. ESPECIALLYYY if this is Figs sendoff.#sophomore year's epilogue was rushed as well i will admit but i feel there were less loose ends to tie up there and again#it wasnt the send-off of one of the party members either so. it didnt need that much of an epilogue imo#ahh whatever. ignore me#junior year spoilers
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#im DONE being mad abt this so just getting it out :))))))#ill get mad again i just know it#ANYWAYS#i asked my fellow ts friend if she wanted to go to eras tour. she then invited the rest of our friendsgroup#and i would go as far as to say that theyre not fans at all#and its been a fucking hassle since#i shouldve just signed up for everything and ditched them but i didnt and thats on me#theres five of us meaning that we need to get thru twice to get enough#and THEN one of them is like: well i dont want to go if we cant sit together#which is fair ig BUT THEN WHAT BC I DO#then today my friend was like: oh im able to go thru#which ??? did she just not tell us before or did they send out more emails? idk#i say: hey ive heard the seated spots are more expensive than standing (which weird but okay)#now 'i only want to go if we can sit together' is like 'how much more' and when i said what i had heard she just wrote 'okay'#and i can just FEEL her coming with a 'i would rather pay more and sit' which fair#but some of us dont make a lot of money (and still bitch abt not making enough) so maybe saving 200 euros would be nice
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I WANNA BE YOURS | WOSO X READER | PT 15
pairings: woso x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: fifteen
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ nahhh that's it i'm quitting this job tillies my baes you guys hiring? 🙏
stairway NOOOO Y/N IM SOO SORRY
willybum Y/N NO
elton ABSOLUTELY NOT
kyra ABSOLUTELY YES
cha cha YESSS WE WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS
stephy of course! 🥰
the REAL karate kid NAHHH
neev WE DIDNT MEAN TOO Y/N WE'RE REALLY SORRY
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ NO YOU GUYS ARE NOT
meado what did you guys do this time
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
stairway it was nothing!
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ NOTHING?!
willybum did you just make a meme of me ....
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ i've made memes of all of you BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT RN i hate you all except lotte i love you you're the only lioness i'll support
tom holland's twin while i really appreciate that pls don't leave me with these idiots 🥺🙏
meado waittt i wasn't part of all this why hate meee
earpsy yeah i wasn't there either why do we gotta suffer tho
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ MARY you not being there was what caused this torture and suffering in the first place 😭😭
keira i'm so out of the loop rn
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ SO THESE IDIOTS THOUGHT I'D BE GREAT FOR TARGET PRACTICE IN GOALS AND SHOVED ME IN THE BATTLEFIELD WITHOUT MY CONSENT ME WHOS THE OPPOSITE OF ATHLETIC GOT ABUSED BCUZ OF THEM ALL only lotte being the angel she is helped me
willybum it wasn't even that badddd
stairway yeahh you're being kinda dramatic
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ WASNT EVEN THAT BAD?! EXCUSE YOU I HAVE A CONCUSSION BCUZ OF YOU GUYS AND A MASSIVE BUMP ON MY HEAD AND YOURE CALLING ME DRAMATIC?!
tom holland's twin yeah it was a nasty bump ngl y'all knocked out her braincells
elton i mean to be fair she kinda didn't have many braincells to begin with anyway ....
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ SPEAK FOR YOURSELF THATS ITTT TILLIES YALL MY NUMBER ONE MY MAIN MY HOMELAND
the REAL karate kid
willybum NOOO NOT THEMMM WE SHOULD BE YOUR NUMBER ONE
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ WELL YOU SHOULDVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YALL ATTACKED ME AFTER EVERYTHING IVE DONE FOR YALL AND THIS IS HOW YOU GUYS REPAY ME?!
kyra charli and i are coming to get ya rn from these losers we're on our way
stairway WHO YOU CALLING LOSERS?!
willybum this is unacceptable
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
willybum
the REAL karate kid
neev NAHH WE'LL WAGE WAR
kyra
come at me you colonisers
tom holland's twin NAHH NOT COLONISERS 😭😭
stairway WE WILL
cha cha imma bring in the big guns
cha cha added brick wall, ford, lani and sammy the skippa
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
OMG MORE AUSSIES AYEE
cha cha um that photo .... anyway macca cait lani protect y/n at all costs
brick wall
aye aye
lani on it!
ford okay!
sammy the skippa um what is happening rn
stephy all you need to know is that we gotta protect y/n from the lionesses
sammy the skippa
neev we got our own big guns lucy millie mary rach need ya rn
earpsy here!
brightness yes.
daily i was summoned
rusty metal yeah?
kyra well WEVE GOT MCCABE KATIE MCCABE
the REAL karate kid WHAT?!
willybum SINCE WHEN WAS MCCABE WITH YOU GUYS?!
brick wall since always?
stephy yeah katie's an honorary aussie
meado katie?!
mccard yeah i am
elton WELL WEVE GOT ONA ISNT THAT RIGHT?
rusty metal ona?
ona well ..... i'm afraid to tell you that we spaniards have formed an alliance with the aussies
kie THE BETRAYAL 😭😭
willybum what is this blasphemy
tom holland's twin wait isn't spain also a coloniser tho ....
stairway oh yeahhh that's hypocritical of you
ona shhhhhhh
kyra
cha cha well y/n is successfully ours
willybum ABSOLUTELY NOT
neev WE'LL GET HER BACK JUST YOU WAIT
stairway YEAH WERE COMING FOR YOU KANGAROO RIDERS
samma the skippa
what are you all gonna do? drown us in your cup of teas?
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ DAMN yall got violated haha
the REAL karate kid
neev i cannot believe this just happened 😔😭
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
next part here
#woso x reader#matildas x reader#lionesses x reader#engwnt x reader#auswnt x reader#woso imagine#woso#leah williamson x reader#alessia russo x reader#ella toone x reader#niamh charles x reader#georgia stanway x reader#lotte wubben moy x reader#steph catley x reader#kyra cooney cross x reader#charli grant x reader#mackenzie arnold x reader#caitlin foord x reader#sam kerr x reader#alanna kennedy x reader#katie mccabe x reader#ona batlle x reader
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slim pickins
warnings; bad date? mentions of sex, cursing underage drinking and yes i meant for it to be written poorly i was trying to keep the humor of the album in the writing
masterlist | p. 2
no pressure tags; @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake
word count; 1911
summary; youre tired of not finding a decent guy who will treat you right and lay you right. at least not one you've known since you were kids. however you just cant help yourself. besides its slim pickins out here you take what you can get.
divider by @bernardsbendystraws
i wanna make one thing clear, when i say there are no good guys left i do not wanna hear about you and your boyfriend of three years that can cook and loves your mom.
thats exactly what im talking about maddie!!! i dont give two fucks that he took you to barnes and noble and bought you every book you wanted.
they are all taken. its plain and simple.
which is why even with a full roster, im stuck taking fucking zander, yes with a z, to my friends' kegger.
i mean yea hes cute. hes tall, built but not that gross kind of muscly. but if were being real i shouldve known better when he was joking about being a male stripper when hes a ginger.
and i can tell kie is judging me, rightfully so. her side eye is lethal. when i introduced him to everyone she asked him about his greta van fleet tee and he said he didn't even know it was a band.
needless to say pope had to drag her away.
after that incident i decided it was best if we tried to talk away from the rest of the group. boy was i wrong.
"so what do you like to drink? ill go grab us something," i offer trying to start the conversation, also avoiding the usual problem with taking a drink from men.
"im good with whatever"
i like to think im not a violent person, but im about to be.
"does a beer sound okay?" i ask him grabbing a twisted tea for me from the cooler.
"sure thing." god why is he acting like such a bitch? i should ask him if he's on his period.
i hand him the can, our fingers brush and its my final clue for the night that i am definitely not going home with him. no spark at all. hes done just about everything else to piss me off.
he did the thing where he licks his lips exaggeratingly looking me up and down, making a point to make sure i saw.
he walks so slow for being 6'3.
and finally he tried to mansplain my career to me. i'd had just enough when he opens his mouth again
"ew, you like twisted tea? who likes sweet tea?" his face contorted in disgust, it was about to contort from my fist breaking his goddamn nose if he keeps talking to me like this.
"we literally live in the south dude." my face could not make it any clearer i am so done with this guy.
"still, sweet tea is disgusting. im not kissing anyone that drinks that nasty shit."
"who said i wanted to kiss your nasty fucking mou-" i was interrupted by the sound of a very familiar giggle behind me as his arm wrapped around my shoulder, the smell of his deodorant and sea salt that cover his skin start to put you at ease.
jj was always there when you needed him, sometimes even when you didnt but right now you couldn't be more grateful. "im glad you found those mama i got em just for you. remembered theyre your favorite. right?"
and you wanna know the best part? zander is shaking already pissed off that jj is at my side. territorial i guess.
"you mind?" he asks him nodding his head at me like im not even there.
jj cant help but laugh at him "yea bud i do mind. she's hanging out with me tonight. have fun with your ipa dick." and with that he steers us off to where the rest of the pogues are.
but not before i can look over my shoulder and give the ginger an innocent smile and a shrug as if i had no control over the situation, when really id pick jj over anyone else.
"you owe me a big fat kiss mama," jj whispers in my ear walking us over to where our friends are standing, drinks in their hands laughing and chatting up a storm.
"in your dreams honey."
"every night all night," he quips back before i shove him off me.
now before you give me shit, jj and i have had our fair share of fun, but unfortunately im starting to look for something more serious.
watching john b and sarah be disgusting together is getting to my head. popes got something going on with cleo and im starting to recognize the pattern. and before i know it everyone will be in love if i don't start making an effort in that department.
random casual hook ups aren't doing it anymore, especially considering they aren't even that good.
unless theyre with jj.
but hes not an option, theres too much drama. too much history. too much too much too much. im not what he needs and i know for a fact he doesn't want me in that sense.
is that a bit dramatic? probably.
i mean hes a great lay, he's hilarious, he's got that blue collar kind of muscle, and he genuinely cares about me.
so of course im not going to date him, why would i?
what do you mean make good decisions? id rather do things in the most difficult way possible!
"y/n youve gotta stop giving those guys a chance, im starting to feel bad for you."
"you try finding a decent guy in a ten mile radius." i glare at him, obviously not wanting to joke about this right now.
he sticks his hand out in front of me, "fine i will. let me see your phone."
curious to see what he will do i hand it too him unlocked, he swipes and taps for a few moments, smiling down at the phone before handing it back to you.
when you look back down at the screen all you see is your instagram open with his stupid fucking smiley face on the screen.
he took a picture of himself and posted to my story. written on the screen in bubble letters in my favorite colored heart 'my favorite guy <3'
"i think he's your best bet." that same smile facing back at me now, cockier than ever. so smug i wanna kiss it off his face
i cant help but roll my eyes. "jj im serious! at this rate im going to die alone. every decent guy is taken or unavailable. all i want is someone funny, kind, and attractive is that too much to ask for?"
"im right in front of you mama you dont gotta look far."
"jj we both know we're not the serious kind of relationship im talking about."
"you can think what you want too but ill be here waiting for that kiss you owe me."
"i think all that tequila youve been sipping has gone to your head maybank."
he stands in front of me, taking his signature red cap off his head and putting it on mine smiling down at me, "what do they say in those books you read? you wear the hat you ride the cowboy?"
"this no ten gallon hat and you are no cowboy."
we laugh at each other, its always been easier to do that then actually talk about our feelings. so i put his hat back on his head, backwards the way he i likes it.
"cmon y/n/n, have a few more drinks, relax and hang out and ill make you feel all better later yea? its what im best at, you know."
"its gonna take more than a few more teas to convince me jj"
"what about that thing you like that i do with my tongue, huh mama? doesnt that sound pretty good right now? i think it does."
"i give you one fucking compliment and it goes straight to your head."
"technically its about my head so that makes perfect sense," he hands me another can with that stupid signature smirk of his and his stupid sexy hat backwards. i hate to admit it's working on me.
just like it does every other time.
i squint my eyes at him taking the can, rolling the idea around in my head. "fuck it. its not like anyone else is offering," i take a big sip of my drink.
jj pumps his fist in the air like a victorious idiot giving a few woots and hollars before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder despite my wishes.
"jb!!" he shouts turning around to face him, "we're headed out!"
john b looks at the two of us shaking his head at how im kicking my feet to wiggle out of jjs oddly strong grip. "make sure you change the sheets when youre done!"
oh my god he did not just say that. "fuck both of you!"
jj just laughs carrying you back to the chateau like a kid who's excited to use a brand new birthday present.
"what happened to letting me have a few more drinks before we left??"
"youre just too irresistable mama, gotta have you now,' he gives my ass a light slap for good measure causing me to roll my eyes for the 600th time tonight.
"are you gonna put me down now?"
he pretends to look like hes thinking about it, "i guess. only so i can watch you walk away," he does as he says helping me get my feet on the ground.
"youre a pervert."
"no im flirtatious, and you love it, you know it makes you blush i see it. now go on and give me a lil walk yea?"
oh im gonna kill him...
oh wait! im gonna kill him!
"okay... fine. but no touching until we get home," i smile walking away exactly like he asked, but i know behind me he is a puddle of mud. standing still, about to start begging me to let him.
he finally catches up after a few seconds "mama please- cmon thats not fair. you look too good in those shorts you know i cant wait that long. just wanna feel you."
i cant help but giggle at his words, its honestly adorable how mopey he gets. like i just kicked his puppy or something.
"hands of jj i mean it... not until that door shuts behind us."
it didn't really matter that i can see the chateau or that ill be there in literally a minute.
its actually painful for jj to not be able to touch me as he pleases.
i turn around to face him with a cheeky smile. "you want me maybank?"
and of course he nods so hard it looks like his head is going to fall right off.
"come and get me," running towards the house, i can see the moment when his reflexes kick in, his boots thudding against the ground as he gains on me.
just before i can make it to the poarch jj wraps his arms around me, lifting me a few inches off the ground and spinning me around in a fit of laughter.
"okay! okay okay okay you win- you got me."
"oh ive got you mama, and im havin you for the rest of the fucking night," he presses a kiss to my neck hauling me inside, the screen door slamming shut after us.
am i gonna regret this tomorrow? most likely.
but what can i say? its slim pickins in this part of town.
#jj maybank#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x gn!reader#outer banks x reader#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank fics#outerbanks x reader#outerbanks fics#my writing <3#short n sweet#short and sweet#fic recs <3#mama needs her jj#jj maybank need you by my side
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TO CONTINUE
Something I noticed is a lot of people who hated BATIM love BATDR and a lot of people fond of BATIM dislike BATDR. To me, this seems like a mechanics vs story issue. The actual game mechanics and aesthetic of BATDR disguise the lackluster characters and plot holes. However, BATIM still suffers those same issues.
This is a vague question, but what are your thoughts on BATIM vs BATDR story wise? Is either of them truly better? Or are they just flawed in different ways?
Sorry, this is long, but so are BATIM and BATDR :')
I think you hit the nail on the head in the sense that yes- BATDR has better gameplay and mechanics than BATIM, but BATIM by far has a much more compelling story that was able to capture and keep attention over the course of five chapter releases. And yes, BATIM is not without its flaws, for example it's mainly a walking simulator in terms of actual gameplay- the only thing saving it being the unique ability to suck the player in through the rich, stylistic environments.
In terms of story, here's my take for both of them-
BATIM is more solid overall, there are more connected plot points and there's a thread there to be followed from start to finish. It does suffer from some WTF plothole moments, the biggest one being Alice's 180 degree turn with suddenly using Boris as a killing machine rather than...what I can only assume was a plan to use his ink/body as some kind of reparative agent for the hole in her face (like thicc ink premium idk), or...some kind of spell...? It's honestly not very clear HOW she was going to use him, but bottom line she decided to entirely change her plan off-screen, which could have been remedied with something like a cutscene's worth of explanation, and more of a buildup to Brute Boris. The "reveal" in the haunted house didn't hold that much weight (at least to me,) just because we didn't even get a cookie crumb of a hint that Alice was going to mutilate him and use him as a drone instead of just axe him.
There are other nonsense details like Allison's ominous "I'm no Angel" line, which didn't make sense when Tom was the one to want to leave Henry. It was never explained WHY the Ink Demon walks around with a limp when he can shapeshift into a bigger and faster Beast version of himself (and apparently he was ALSO the hand in the ink river??? I guess???) And can we talk about how the cult Joey started was just never brought up again? Wally talks about how workers were encouraged (or mandated, idk) to put offerings in the break room to "appease the gods." What gods? Was Joey worshiping Bendy like a god? NONE OF THIS IS EXPLAINED EVER and honestly I think Micheal D. and Meatstick just Forgot that Joey was a cult leader in favor of Sammy's cult storyline.
But despite all of the plot holes, we still get a tale of a deteriorating studio, humans being used as literal skeletons for lifelike versions of cartoon characters, themes of life, death, cults, art, and more. Honestly, going deep into the plot of Bendy would take its own post to really do it justice.
I guess the main plot is this: Ex-co-founder of Joey Drew Studios, Henry, is trying to get the fuck home to his wife, learning along the way that through the power of a mysterious ink machine, his ex-business partner decided to coerce and persuade people to Literally Die so he could have the necessary materials to create living versions of his cartoons, thus making "his" characters (and more importantly, Bendy,) a reality. Once Henry does escape, he learns that Joey has sent him through this same hell before, still filled with hatred and spite, just in time for Joey to assumedly "reset" him and send him on a different version of the same journey, as we can guess from the storyboards on display in Joey's apartment. THAT on its own is an intriguing and layered tale, and that's not even including the other details, voices, and faces we run into in BATIM, AND the new info we learn in BATDR.
Now, BATDR...is something I've come to view as a mixed bag.
Story-wise, it weirdly wants to have its cake and eat it to. Henry's story is elaborated on, and part of Audrey's origins are also brought to light. This is helpful information concerning the plot of BATIM...but then we get assblasted with a ton of new characters and lore for a completely new Cycle under the reign of a completely new Random Old Man. I know he's Nathan's son, and he was mentioned in both Illusion and Fade to Black...but those were de-canonized, so it almost doesn't help context-wise...???? So...????
In a lot of ways, BATDR almost acts like it wants to be an AU branching from BATIM rather than a direct sequel, which it was marketed/confirmed as.
I think my biggest problem with BATDR is that some of the main characters are bafflingly like. Mishandled.
I'm gonna have the mildest take on earth and say I didn't like the new Ink Demon. Old design was better and more uncanny by far, the new design looks like Generic Satan or something straight out of Baldur's Gate. He was given a deep, guttural growling voice because....tumblr sexyman I guess. Even if they needed him to talk, it could've been something more breathy and raspy, true to the heavy breathing of the original Ink Demon. Also, his alternate form was made very childlike, and I'm just weirded out by the fact that you have this oddly "sexified" version of the Ink Demon on the flipside of Bendy the Child. I don't think any ill intent was meant by this, but it's more confusing than anything thematically. I'm also not sure why Bendy's abuse was brought up and then never touched on....? Like wasn't this guy locked up and called a monster his whole life? Are we going to...say something especially considering the moral of this story......?
Memory Joey is completely fine, but I just can't shake the feeling that the narrative is trying to paint IRL Joey as "UWU fixed now" when that's not the case. The most sympathy I can extend to IRL Joey is that he was a gay man who desired to have a family at a time when that was not only frowned upon but dangerous, not just socially speaking but in terms of his physical safety. But beyond that, this was a dude who locked people in a building to keep them working, coerced and possibly forced the deaths of many people to get what he wanted (the ink machine was a scientific advancement that could've had AMAZING implications for society but he Did Not Give a Shit about that), and was abusive towards Henry. If we trust the Bendy books, he also gaslit and killed his teenage staff. This motherfucker isn't a patron saint of anything, and even if Memory Joey can learn from IRL Joey's mistakes, IRL Joey was still a shitbag who just happened to raise a daughter.
Which leads me to Audrey. Some of Audrey's tale is explained- she was raised by Joey, forgot Joey was her father, and came to work at Archgate as an animator. Got to know Wilson, who works as a janitor at Archgate, and then he drags her into ink hell because....idk, she's his version of "A Perfect Boris" I guess. Fair enough. However, it's NEVER EXPLAINED how Audrey doesn't remember her father, or WHERE she went to live after his passing, or WHO she lived with. Remember, Joey was as old as a cave painting, so he clearly passed when she was very young. While you could argue she doesn't remember his name because she was little, SURELY she remembers his face or voice, or the fact that she HAD A FATHER??? Like, was there some huge trauma there? (Other than the fact that Joey was her dad?) It makes little sense to me that she would forget so easily. If I had to make a guess (and granted I'm no Mark Twain), I'd wager that Allison probably found Joey dead. Remember that Nathan hadn't talked to Joey in years, and Allison was the one who went out of her way in the first place to visit. At this point, Allison's gonna find a little girl running around by herself, and assumedly her and Thomas would've taken her in. If that's not the case, someone else found Joey dead, at which point Audrey would've possibly lived with Nathan and Tessa, considering how much Nathan cared about Joey. Either party has ties to Archgate. But all of that is just speculation, not confirmed, and even if any of that were true, Audrey makes no mention of it. And I'm sorry, Audrey's backstory makes me want to cry, because it's just NOT THERE and she has the personality of a depressed bucket.
Alice was alright...but she was kind of stupid? Which is like....the antithesis of everything cool about her? Instead of using traps and luring the main character from a distance, she knocks out Audrey (via unspecified drink), plays Diet Jigsaw with Audrey, and then gets pushed off a balcony. She was also a lot more...idk, suave and sultry in speech mannerisms in BATDR, which isn't bad, but her unhinged and clever nature seemed a bit watered down.
I don't really have notes on the rest of the main cast. Sammy was brought back to die immediately, which honestly was fine considering his death track record. We get some mentions of BATIM characters. Wilson and Betty were fine, and even some of the lore explaining how the timelines work made sense.
HOWEVER,
I've already said it a hundred times, but the old cast was shoved to the side for a bunch of new characters we had no time to connect with. A new butcher gang member was added when we still have Miss Twisted as a potential female-role filler (keep in mind the Projectionist is based on Camera Man and Brute Boris was based on The Brute.) The whole "Amok" thing was a REALLY roundabout way to get the Lost Ones to stop attacking Audrey.
Wilson's motivations are mostly consistent and I'd argue somewhat compelling, but I don't understand why he didn't do more to protect Audrey if he was going to need her for the endgame for Shipahoy Dudley? Like what's all this about letting her run around and get killed? Was he just aware that she'd revive?
The main message of BATDR was fine, but it didn't work super well for Audrey's character. She'd already forgotten Joey was her father, and was living in blissful ignorance of that fact until Memory Joey decided to infodump on her right away. Sure, the "just because you were born of darkness doesn't mean you have to be darkness" thing applies to her AFTER she learns Joey was her father, but...Audrey was never threatening to Become Evil, so it almost didn't need to be said and was kind of a flat message...? I would argue Memory Joey would benefit more from that message- as he's a literal copy of a Very Bad Dude. My guy was projecting this whole time.
I do think BATDR was worse story-wise, but I'm not going to sit here and pretend it didn't have certain disadvantages from the start. The Kindlybeast debacle happened, BADTR was trying to continue a story from an existing property, and there was a severe lack of Adrienne Kress. Okay, maybe the last one was a bit much, but still. That doesn't mean I hate BATDR overall, I can appreciate a lot of things about it, but strictly in the story department, it needs soooooo much work and makes me want to jump off a Minecraft cliff.
#AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE TOON.#the toon form feels so... strange ? like he feels forced because of fanon toon being real and made of ink often too yknow#and the fact he's practically taken over who bendy is ? is really off for me. like this is a branding thing but god#its like they replaced the actual toon with the cycle version almost. kinda like what they did with the ink demon design#but i digress#batdr's toon form being presented as childish is so off for me too because while yes bendy in the toons was childish#it... it doesnt mean he Is a kid yknow#it isnt stated per se if he is one or not. but like#even if the comics count as noncanon novels. hes very clearly an adult. he holds a martini glass owns a home drives a car#yknow#and. and yeah his traumas are Not explored enough. i guess we get the projection onto audrey of raahhh youre bad like i am but otherwise#joey's memory also. i really do believe and enjoy his story. but i wish they made more of a seperation between the two. like#memory shouldve shown remorse for his original self's past. maybe shown and said to want to be better#maybe fix joey's mistakes too a bit !! have him talk about what hes done to help undo some of his damage or whatever. wouldve been great#characterisation. he is still a seperate person after all even if he is an extension of joey in some strange way#and finally. the character issues. oh lord. i wish so badly they used old characters. it was awfully strange seeing porter be advertised and#he has like... what. 5 or so minutes of screentime ? i feel like EVERY character was underutilised#they shouldve stuck to one or two for each department or company. developed ones preferably. have actual arcs in the audio logs like in bati#m. couldve saved a Lot of the story#i love these games dont get me wrong. i just wish they did them justice !! im yet to rewrite the stories out of love and i really am excited#to see what the future holds. i want to see this franchise and company learn from past errors and become the best version of themselves#thanks for reading if anyone did pffh. i love this game series so much and i love critiques that show it. my own or other's#Nope !! !
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Quick lore question, did marie considering the idea of replacing 4 play into the insecurities she has later?
Absolutely.
I wanna preface this by saying one thing: Young 4 was a COMPLETELY different person before she got recruited by Marie. And Marie...responds to her accordingly.
Long read abt Hero2 events below!! Its. A lil messy sorry qisjke these are my notes
Young 4? A bitch.
Everything she ever wanted was given to her. Moved out of the highlands with an ego the size of a planet (and also bc she felt suffocated there), thinking she can make it in the big city.
...she struggled to make it alone. She had moved out bc her family was suffocating her with love, but now theyre not here, so now she feels homesick and underappreciated.
All that is expressed by her harsh, bitchy attitude. Shes gonna be mean bc no one has seen her for who she is. She'll show them!!
She finds her way around like this, and discovers that shes just as good at turf war here and at home. In fact, shes *so* good that she got the status of a rising star!
It aaalll just gets into her head. Shes "proven everyone wrong" now. Shes got the superiority complex and can back it up.
Marie...
...saw this. She was looking for a new agent to help find the missing zapfish. The second 4 heard this from her, she flexed her arms and...
"Look no further, your hero is RIGHT HERE!"
Marie at first adored the spunkiness of this new agent. Uuuntil 4 started thinking that shes better than her.
"Watch out, Agent Four!"
"You watch YOURSELF, grandma! Think Im a damn idiot to not see that coming? WAHA!"
Marie rolled up her sleeves after several stages full of her ignoring orders or sassing her out of nowhere.
Is that how shes gonna be? Fine.
When 4 finally trips and falls, hard, on a particularly difficult level, Marie pulls her to the side to fix her up and give her a lecture that tore her fucking ego to shreds.
She says something so fucking harsh like "That attitude will make SURE that you die sad and alone. I wonder how anyone puts up with you."
4s too hurt by her own failure to say anything back.
The reality of war finally gives her a reality check. Each victory is earned. its her life on the line. And the world.
She regains her spunk after saving the world.
------
Silly 4. She gets the job done but it takes a LOT of pushing in the mid-stages. Its like she got legitimately bored after the initial super easy ones, and thought the entire campaign a joke.
She went back to her turfing life topside between stages. And she takes a WHILE to come back to her missions -- usually late!! And then before she even goes in she just HAS to yak Marie's face off with what she was doing up there.
"Youre late."
"You shouldve SEEN ME, Marie!! I was carrying that Rainmaker round! I was-"
"Pray tell, Agent Four. How will you keep participating in turf with the Zapfish gone?"
"Whaat? Cmon. Nothing seems to be changing! Theres still power through the city!"
"The backup supply wont last forever, you know."
"Yeah yeah. Okay. Im here now. Wheres the next kettle?"
This attitude is from her high school days, clearly. She breezes by everything so fast that she can afford to do things last minute. It affects even this.
That, alongside her talking smack back to Marie, is what makes her snap at 4. Its what makes 4 stick to the mission fully starting late area 4 and area 5. (This is also around the time 4s life was threatened. God help me in those stupid platforming stages)
Post Hero2, 4 more or less does what 3 does. Shes the "replacement" til 3 comes back. (That cant be good for her confidence.)
At the same time, she has to deal with Callie and Marie talking out what the fuck Callie did with Octaria. "THEY SQUIDNAPPED GRAMPS!!!" and all. Why help them??? They get into squabbles where 4 was the unfortunate witness to. And peacemaker. It does NOT help that Callie for a while kept putting the glasses back on!!!
4 wishes so bad she had help of any sort. She feels 3 might be able to do something but what does she know?? Shes never met em!! She just imagines what the missing agent would do in that situation.
Callie...was also the person she got close to. Shes fun (unlike the stuck up Marie), shes empathic, she opened 4s eyes to the Octarian plight. It made her acceptance of 8 later much smoother.
Im not saying shes not close to Marie either, I bet they healed their relationship around this year too. Marie's sorry she tore 4s ego the way she did (even if deserved...). Marie's much more supportive of what 4s doing topside. Shes expressing her pride in the agent she found much more openly. (She brags abt her to Callie at times.)
The three of them heal together in that time. 4 sees them as older sisters Im p sure. Theyre both giving her tips for turfing and -- Marie even helps her with homework, HAH
And...while I say that 4 and Marie are in better terms, there are still days where Marie blows up on her. Lesser extent than before, but shes *worried* for her agent! (Its a similar plight 3 has.) In those times, its Callie who has her back. ("Hey! Its not like shes not trying!!" Callie understands how it is, and she also knows Marie best -- shes the one who makes 4 understand where Marie is coming from.)
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extermination day extermination always irritated vaggie. She had developed a major dislike of it upon being dropped into hell for showing mercy, which shouldve kept her in heaven than get her booted out, but she had found the love of her life here, so she couldnt complain. After the battle during the old hotels time, the exterminations had become far more erratic. sometimes theyd be only a month or so away, sometimes over a year. she had no doubts it was entirely because of lute, which she wasnt too fond of, but what could vaggie realistically do, her old sister in arms had always been a bit of a nutcase. besides, she had bigger fish to worry about right now. she and charlie were doing a headcount of people who had been in the hotel that day, (alastor, husk, nifty, the usual people, along with some hopefully quests to be) and there was one person distinctly missing "do i have to go get him?" vaggie asked, exasparated "come on please? he should be somewhere on the upper floors, i saw him walking up before the bell rang loud, besides you always have your weapon on you!" charlie begged, earning agreed mumblings of the others "If Safety Is Your Concern, Trust Me Vaggie, I Will Be Able To Handle Any Possible Nuisances While You're Getting Mister Bleeding Heart Back" alastor piped up, with that sickeningly sweet grin of his. She rolled her eyes, and groaned out a soft "fiine" as she moved to go up the hotel. Thank Fucking Lucifer that he had installed an elevator into the hotel, because boy howdy if vaggie had had to walk up the flight of stairs just to get Adam she would not have even considered it. Eventually, she found him on the roof, watching the carnage. "come on Adam, i know youre probably so fucking hard about all the destruction and shit, but you wont be safe from them killing you" Adam didnt turn to look at vaggie, instead closing his wings around himself as best he could, and "I can still recognize them you know" "huh?" with one wing, adam pointed down to two exterminators "that right there is lyre, ruthless as ever, but she has that methodical work flow, kind of like a dance. i think they partnered her with a newbie, which is good- well. bad, but. good from a combat standpoint- because she'll get good pointers at the end" vaggie looked down at the next group of exterminators that adam pointed to "over there is janatha, still fumbling with her stabs and pierces as ever. shes in a bigger squad, but they always worked well together, even if theyre a bit chaotic" an explosion blew up relatively near them, and adam looked over to it with sluggish movements "must be lute... say vags-" "vaggie." "-vaggie, do you remember flute?" "huh? you mean lutes sister?" "mmhm, lutes always been pretty ruthless, but that can leave her open at the back, flute would have covered her but. i think she was killed a few exterminations ago, the one that weapons dealer got. i think theyve tried to pair her with others but i always see her alone" vaggie stood there stunned "i. didnt think you were telling the truth when you said you recognized me. i thought you'd been bluffing or that lute had told you, given..." "well, thats the view souls have of me i suppose. liar down to a t. but i do recognize all of them. i just regret that my blind rage cost the lives of several of them and... lutes arm" another explosion closer to them alerted vaggie to grab adams shoulder "come on, charlies going to get worried if you keep me standing here, cant have you getting killed now that shes done so much work on you" "whatever you say vaggie" adam said, solemnly looking behind to where theyd spotted lute, before walking with vaggie to the elevator to get to the more bunkered area
#in which im sane about adam likely having recognized immediately that one of his girls was missing and thats why they could locate the dead#exterminator within a week#also i REFUSE to call them exorcists because even if its a clever pun THATS NOT WHAT EXORCISTS DO#RRRHGH/LH#art#digital art#fanart#adam hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel adam#demon adam#hazbin adam#hazbin hotel au#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin hotel season 1#hazbin art#hazbinhotel#hazbin hotel vaggie#hazbin vaggie#vaggie#vaggie hazbin hotel#implied other characters but yanno#sinner adam#sinner!adam#moss art
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i know mentioming kiko triggers most of the readers but i think yall should grow tf up like shes my roman empire and i think about her a lot u know 😔😔 when this chapter, where she told jungkook the truth, came out i hated her just like others and i was like "shes so evil like how can she do this to jungkook". but as time passed i just realized that shes the realest character because if i were in the same situation i might have done the same thing(?) Like i dont know exactly what id do but because of fear i couldve done the same so i cant really judge her. like we all know having a child is a big responsibility and she was scared and of course she wasnt ready for this and obviously its her body and her choice and she did whatever she thought was good for her. I think throwing a mud at her and criticising her is too much because she suffered enough already and i truly dont understand why do yall hate this woman so much?? I mean yeah she shouldve told jungkook everything because jungkook really deserved to know and we all knkw he would understand her and her choice but she was scared and not ready. Like we cant even imagine the pain she was going through because as i mentioned before having a kid is a big responsibility and she was the one who had to carry the baby for 9 months and give birth and everything and she was not ready. like yeah jungkook would be on her side but so what?? his support would be a great help but mothers still have to go through pain, fear, uncertainty and so many emotions and i think men would never get this (im sorry, i know jungkooks an amazing man but he still wouldnt get it okay???) and i trully feel sorry for her and of course the way she handled the situation was so wrong and i do not support her for that, for example, for lying to jungkook, breaking up with him without telling him everything, then lying to him that she cheated 😭😭like she was so stupid for that and she made him suffer so much like imagine u told him u cheated on him and he still wanted to give u a second chance,even though he was in so much pain??? like i understand him and yes he deserved to know everything and she was so wrong for getting back to him and still makkng him believe she cheated but I feel so sorry for both of them and i really understand kiko and her fears and im her apologist because everyone makes mistakes and obviously she wasnt a perfect person. I hope she will be happy in the future because she dont deserve all this pain.
thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! we've had quite a lot conversations about her character and to be honest, she might be one of my favorite characters i've ever written. not because I love her or anything, but because she's so interesting to me. and i've said this before many times, but i guess people perceive things differently based on the point of view which is completely understandable – if the story was about them, kiko being y/n – some opinions and reactions might've been different. i do believe there would be many opinions of what she did and it being not right, but i guess readers would show more mercy with the way of how they talk about her character or they would definitely not use so many curse words ahaaha
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ok after seeing gifs and having the time to think about the episode itself some more, i have some thoughts. about how poorly it was done, abrupt, and like a slap in the face, etc. i still hate the notes of biphobia in it but also i can Forgive the biphobia if they also take the time to address the biphobia, yknow?
pls keep in mind that this is partly my interpretation, partly my fix-it/make-it-make-sense, partly my criticism. also im not a writer, im a bitch w brain damage to the communication part of their brain who refuses to shut the fuck up lmao this shit is hard for me to write out
so its the 6 month anniversary date and tommy is all in, hes exactly what we were shown him to be: fucking smitten. he gives his boyfriend an (i assume expensive gift?) (idk bball ticket prices) anniversary gift. buck doesnt have a gift for him, but like thats not the end of the world, right? its only 6 months, after all. but this moment should be the beginning of tommys insecurities. the ending of the honeymoon stage. a teeny tiny niggle of maybe buck isnt as invested in this relationship as tommy thought?
maybe thats just a fleeting insecurity that is immediately fueled by the hot chick. again, hate to lean into the biphobic stereotypes. as a bisexual, fucking hate it. buck unconsciously going to use his phone to take the picture and hot chicks "trying to get my number" comment. the way buck doesnt just say "actually im here with my boyfriend" (and buck doesnt have to say it, he can come out to who he wants to, when he wants to, when hes comfortable to. im firm on this but i can also acknowledge that it can also feed into tommys insecurities) this shouldve been when tommys insecurities start coming in and they shouldve shown it. show us the way tommy might use his cool confidence as a mask to hide his vulnerability!!
instead of bringing up abby now, let tommy sit on this feeling. hell, show us that hes feeling this way and hates it. we know hes all for clear communication, and has come a long way with himself. hes confident and comfortable. so show us him struggling with feeling insecure about buck possibly not being as invested as he is. eg with the one sided-gifting, tommy always showing up for buck and we havent been shown buck reciprocating (which means fuck-all with this show but could be used rn to further the angst), the reminder buck is new to dating men etc
they couldve shown us tommy talking to hen or chim about feeling insecure about bucks baby bi status and "being his first but not his last" and hating that he feels that way. that hes doubting buck like this. they gave us this man who worked hard to be where he is, why couldnt they take one fucking scene to show this to us?? its pretty common, actually, for a LI to talk to one of the 118 without the LIs partner being there. but not this LI? ok.
and bcos of how shitty tommy feels about it all, that is why he, uncharacteristically, does not talk about it with buck. tommy is still processing this internally and isnt comfortable bringing it up to buck. but we know buck, hes good at picking up on when something is wrong. maybe he asks and tommy brushes it off. maybe buck says nothing yet and just feels a little, wrong-footed maybe? a little insecure himself? something he has been working on in himself for a long time now and doesnt want to put on tommy.
and that leads to the abby of it all. for the bare minimum of fucking continuities sake, they were never engaged lmao just together a long time during a difficult time for both of them (tommy closeted and abby w her mothers decline) maybe they were talking marriage. i wanted this to come up in another scene (maybe even another ep). i think it makes more sense, for buck to straight up say in this conversation that yeah, he is The Himbo.
tbh, play into the absurdity of it all, classic 911 style. like, this convo happens when one is heading to work or something?? so the only time they have is to think "huh, what are the odds??" and awkwardly laugh about it. set it up that they dont have the chance to really think about the implications until later, when theyre apart.
later comes. and now, they are both spiralling. theyre both feeling insecure in their relationship, for different- and unknown to the other!!- reasons. this is when miscommunication takes over and both parties are hurt and confused and brings them to the point of being unable to have that mature, adult conversation about their issues
buck still goes to maddie, and josh still gives his lovely speech. now bucks feeling better about tommys past (also when maddie makes her "turned them gay" comment buck corrects her and fucking says hes bisexual) wouldve been great to see tommy talk to someone too, about him and abby and abby and buck. also fill in some of them plot holes while they are at it lmao
tommy talking to bobby, preferably. bcos he wasnt Captain Dad when tommy was there, they were never close. and they mention how tommy only referred to abby as "his gf" and she never had the time or interest to meet the 118 or visit the station idk and tommy didnt push for it either. give their relationship some nuance and clarity i guess!! and back up joshs great speech with some of how tommy felt back in those days! really take the time to fill all of this out, yknow?? and maybe talking with bobby about their shared past helps tommy feel a bit more secure with buck right now and ready to talk about it with him.
and now we get to the break up. now that these cracks are shown and seemingly repaired. they both try to talk about their insecurities, but it just goes wrong. buck spooks tommy with the moving in and marriage talk, tommy hurts buck with the "im ur first not ur last."
except this time tommy isnt saying it like a its a fact, instead he says that he fears that hes bucks first but not last. but buck takes that badly (understandable), like tommy hasnt been as invested in this relationship since he apparently has been waiting to break up for 6 months? and if so then why act like he was all in? etcetc
and tommy, yeah tommy has some shit to work thru still, but its also the way buck is talking of moving in and marriage and forever, his impulsiveness has tommy questioning again if they are really on the same page here. i can see tommy getting stuck on the "move in with me" bcos why would tommy leave his larger home to move into bucks loft? has buck even thought about this at all? hell, while they discuss abby, u could have buck, in an attempt to reconnect and reassure his trust in tommy, talk about mistakes hes made with exes (obvi example, what happened with taylor). and instead of reassuring tommy, it does the opposite (tbh im not a big fan of that, bringing up bucks past mistakes. but also it kinda does balance out tommys treatment of abby and continue bucktommys tit-for-tat sharing, yknow? except this time it goes wrong)
basically, theyre both trying to communicate and work thru these insecurities, these fucking hurdles, but theyre both too hurt and scared in this moment and we are watching them both try to make sense of it all and work it out, and we know they both want to but in this moment they just, cant. emotions are high and it gets a little mean (from both sides! not just tommy saying "i was never ur last", let buck do more than just be broken up with), the break up happens, tommy leaves.
(and then they cry and pine and get angry and try to move on and they cant and then somethings brings them back together (CTH!! 🚁💥🏥) and now they are in a better place to communicate and work thru these issues and kiss and make up and maybe at some point during all this theres a discussion or two about biphobia)
thanks fer reading this fukcing novel lmao i just feel that, if they had taken the fucking time to let this storyline fucking breath (god, let any of them breath this season, fuck) and put some fucking effort into it, i would not be so upset. maybe they had intended to portray some of this in that episode, if so they did it fucking terribly
anyway. again, im not very good at this but i love talking about and reading other ppls thoughts!! if someone feels they could write something more coherently, god. pls do lmao (also pls tell me if theres a typo or word or sentence that just makes no sense, i triple checked but aphasia is a cunt lmao)
#bucktommy#tommy kinard#bucktommy fix it#kinda#im wary of tagging this lmao#hel watches 911#long post
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post fall bucky having a fear of heights?? ive always thought that he'd be afraid of heights, like he wasnt afraid of it at all before his fall, go ask steve. but after falling?? he tries to hide it from steve, how scared he is.. and steve, bless his poor soul, he blames himself for not realizing sooner, he thinks he shouldve known, he couldnt possibly have. hes always seen bucky as this brave courage man, and bucky didnt want to ruin steve's image of him worse than he already think he did. and oh my fucking god
THE POST PLANE CRASH STEVE BEING AFRAID OF TIGHT SPACES?? BECAUSE IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO FEELING THE COLD SEEP IN THROUGH HIS VERY BONES WHILE HE GETS CRUSHED BY ALL THE WATER, ICE, AND DEBRIS?? DONT GET ME STARTED OH MY GOD
HONEY I FEEL LIKE YOUR LEVEL OF CRUELTY TOWARDS ME SPECIFICALLY IS REACHING DANGEROUS LEVELS HERE
but I get it, I getchu hon, sometimes we just gotta put the blorbos in a Situation™, that's how we roll.
but holy shit 😭😭😭
I mean god, Bucky-
imagine how tough it must be for him, every time they're on a mission, 'cause he's first and foremost a sniper, isn't he? and for him, that often involves perching on the roof of really high buildings, and keeping as still as possible for as long as necessary - and above all, keeping a steady hand, because what is a sniper supposed to be if not precise and lethal and reliable?
and factor in all the other possible contingencies, too! like having to bolt if he's spotted by the enemy, and having to climb back down in a rush. or helping chase after the bad guys from rooftop to rooftop. or when, god forbid, they have to jump out of a plane and parachute themselves to a certain site.
it's an absolute nightmare for Bucky, but he just keeps trying to tough it out, right? grit his teeth, push through even when his flesh palm is clammy with sweat, even when his stomach is churning and his legs feel like jelly, even when his hands start shaking despite his best efforts to hold them still. it's scary and mortifying all at once, and he can't bring himself to say anything about it to anyone, especially to Steve. because he knows Steve would try to suggest he take it easy and stay behind, while Steve himself is out there risking his neck, and the very notion makes Bucky feel sick.
so he's just desperately hanging in there, right?
until something happens. he's dizzy, his hands are shaking too bad, he flubs a shot, Steve almost gets killed because of it. Bucky snaps. this is the last straw. he's done.
I mean, imagine how it must tear. him. apart. how horribly it must hurt him to admit to himself that he can't go on like this anymore. because on the one hand, fuck it all to hell, he's supposed to be by Steve's side! watch his six, protect him, make sure he makes it home in one piece! it's what Bucky's been doing ever since they were kids, it's a fundamental part of who he is! to even imagine letting Steve walk into a fight alone - no, not 'alone', without Bucky - is unthinkable. it's like denying himself a basic need. like denying who Bucky is, what he feels he was born to do, a biological imperative.
but. on the other hand, the thought of putting Steve in danger, of Steve getting hurt (or worse) because Bucky couldn't do his job properly, is even more unbearable.
Steve counts on him, trusts him with his life - as he should be able to do, if they're going to be a team - but how can Bucky allow that anymore, now that he can't even trust himself? how can he be what Steve needs, if he's going to let him down when Steve needs him the most? how would he ever forgive himself if something happened to Steve because of him?
he barely holds himself together until they get home, and then he just, he breaks down. stumbles over to the couch, crumples in on himself, trembling, pale like a ghost, taking in big gulps of air like he'll drown otherwise. telling a worried Steve, who's crouching next to him in a heartbeat, "I can't do this anymore".
now Steve, he had noticed that something was off for a while now, and Bucky's words just confirm what he already suspected. he thinks, of course Bucky's sick of this, of course he doesn't want to fight anymore - god knows he's got plenty of reasons to want to leave all this shit behind.
Steve could never imagine what the actual issue is, here - not until he's trying to tell Bucky that it's his right to retire if that's what he wants, that of course Steve supports him, and Bucky interrupts him to confess, in between sobs, where exactly the problem lies, and how he fears he's no longer fit to accompany Steve on missions, 'cause he'd risk becoming a liability rather than backup.
CUE A WHOLE SHITTON OF FEELS because fuck, how long has Bucky been feeling this way, and how did Steve not realize it sooner, and the way Steve's face twists with guilt when he wonders where this fear of heights might come from, and gives himself the most obvious amd most fucking heartbreaking answer, and Bucky can tell that he's hurting and blaming himself and they're just BOTH hurting and blaming themselves and hfgskfjskks HONEY WE'RE SPEEDRUNNING THROUGH ALL THE STAGES OF GRIEF HERE HELP
no, but. they're gonna have an honest conversation about this, okay? painful, yes, but also liberating. they're going to air out some of that hurt, and actually let it heal out in the open for once.
I figure there's gonna be lots of bargaining first, on both parts, like Bucky arguing that he could still fight, just maybe stick to the ground instead, and Steve telling him that he doesn't have to, and really he'd be happier knowing that Bucky's safe at home and not forcing himself into dangerous situations, and Bucky grumbling 'cause oh how the tables have turned, and just, you know, trying to find a way to compromise.
I think, maybe this is how Steve first starts to really, genuinely consider retiring, himself. like, not just picturing it in a distant, wistful way, oh wouldn't it be nice if we could do that, etc - but really, really entertaining the idea. letting himself plan it out. talking about it with Bucky, even with Sam and Nat, giving himself the chance to consider another kind of life. after all, there are plenty of battles to fight in the world, and not all of them require fists and guns, right? and if he can fight those battles too alongside Bucky, then so much the better 💖
CLAUSTROPHOBIC STEVE THOUGH OMG
somehow the first thing that comes to mind is that one scene from CATWS, when he and Nat find Zola's computerized ass and he blows up the building, and they're stuck in a tiny hole under all the rubble until Steve gets them both out. I CAN PICTURE ONLY TOO VIVIDLY HOW FUCKING SCARY THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR HIM, OH MY GOD
as somebody who shares that kind of phobia, may I submit to you one of the most obvious, most mundane monsters he might face: ELEVATORS. especially of the narrow, non-see through kind, where you're literally locked inside a metal box until it releases you from that torment. IF IT DOES. like honey the anxiety is real af okay
in the spirit of putting the blorbos in a Situation™, please picture them both in an old-fashioned elevator.
Steve hasn't mentioned his fear to Bucky, he's just been lucky so far, so he didn't have to bring it up. but the stupid thing is so slow, and the space inside is so small, and sure, Steve never minded being in Bucky's close proximity, but he can't stop thinking about getting the fuck out of there asap.
at some point the fucking thing stops, and oh good god they're stuck inside, and it's gonna take a while for help to come.
and Bucky, sweet, horny, unsuspecting Bucky, just makes a little joke about knowing just how they could pass the time until then, wink wink. he crowds Steve back against the already narrow wall, starts sucking languid kisses into Steve's neck-- and Steve's frozen, breathing in quick shallow breaths that could be mistaken for gasps of pleasure, holding onto Bucky with an iron grip because he can feel himself spiraling into panic, heart racing wildly, eyes darting from wall to wall like he can see them rapidly closing in on him, suffocating him, squeezing him in--
and it takes a moment for Bucky to realize what's really going on, but when he pulls back and sees Steve so terrified, hyperventilating and about ten seconds away from passing out, he switches into Protective Boyfriend mode like *snaps fingers*
he's like, "sweetheart, what's wrong?", and the second Steve gasps "out, I need to get outta here, now", Bucky springs into action and pries the elevator's door open with his bare hands, helping Steve climb out (the next floor was already into view) and following suit.
of course they're gonna talk about it (and realize that they should maybe stop hiding their respective fears from each other), and from then on... yep, they stick to stairs <3
#stucky just stucky#stucky#this got long i'm so sorry#also#i really wanted to scribble a little thing about this - either headcanon or possibly even both - like a decent-looking fic you know#but the braincell refused to cooperate :'(#either way HONEY I LOVE YOU EVEN WHEN YOU MAKE ME AND THE BOYS SUFFER LIKE THIS#*SCREECHES*#i hope the read-more works ahsdjkshdkjsh
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i know i already put these in my recent obizen picspam but i wanted to talk about these specific parallels again bc they make me so ill. shouldve just done this in the original post but better late than never!!
starting off simple with this first one
theres really not much to say bc the pictures say it all. zen is complimenting him both times but the first is when obi was only just made zen's knight/shirayuki's bodyguard. even though he was the one to initiate this dynamic by calling zen master at their literal first meeting, he doesn't quite understand exactly what he's signed up for, bc zen is different from anyone else he's ever worked for before. for zen this is a relationship of reciprocity - "but ive decided to take hold of those reins." and tho the second scene is still remarkably early on (lilias epidemic arc), he's starting to get what he's signed up for and what it means for him and zen and shirayuki, and just how much zen trusts him now.
and just, visually. the change in expression. the surprise in the first, when he still cant understand what exactly is zen's (and shirayuki's) deal. and in the second the smiles. the reciprocity. the understanding. the panels arent facing each other but instead it looks like theyre giving each other their backs.
also this isnt the end of their relationship development by any means - more recently, obi doesnt make excuses to get away from them when its just the three of them. at this point the two of them together is a scene he cant intrude on, but-
that's not the case anymore! he doesnt walk behind them or step away to give them space! whenever theyre scheming to give zenyuki alone time its when the knights trio are all there. when it's just obi? its just obi. he belongs right there with them.
and now THESE PAGES
it was sheer luck i ran into them in my screenshot folder but oh man. zen only barely tolerating obi, obi already thinking so highly of just that much regard, mitsuhide not letting him in except for urgent matters... to obi and zen relaxing and hanging out together and saying theyll miss each other but take care of themselves for each other's sake?? mitsuhide being there??? im ill. im so ill. there is no further analysis look at their faces look at the smiles look at the comfort. this is home now. no wonder obi cant keep himself out of zens room its the surest possible proof of how far theyve come.
honorary mention for their antics. i lovethem.
#if i sound insane its bc i am#+ i have a cold + its 2am#+ obizen make me insane now and forever#implied obizenyuki#too#obizen#akagami no shirayukihime#violet memoirs#red memoirs#<- both tags bc i do actually explain my thoughts this time#obi#zen wisteria#zen
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MY FAVORITE TINTIN SIDE CHARACTERS
ARRGRGWHDHEH I'M VERY VERY PROUD OF THIS I'M NGL!!!!!!! I LOVE THE WAY I COLORED THE CHARACTERS, I LOVE THE POSES I DREW THEM IN, I MADE SOME DECENT COMPOSITION IN THIS ONE!!!! HATE THE EDITING I DID I FUCKING SUCK AT EDITING
Anyway, I'm going to ramble about these guys and you can't leave until I'm done ok? Ok.
First of all, MY BOY MY SON MY PERSONAL LITTLE DEMON, ABDULLAH!!!!!!! he is very endearing to me!!! But I really do wish we could've seen more of him!!!! He looks mischievous enough to sneak on adventures along with the marlinspike crew himself for shits and giggles!!!!! HIM AND HIS DAD'S DYNAMIC IN LAND OF BLACK GOLD IS MY FAVORITE IT MAKES ME SO GIDDY AND HAPPY. like no matter how obnoxious and annoying Abdullah's pranks can become, his dad will forever love him unconditionally. MY FAVORITE DYNAMIC. I MISS THEM SO MUCH.
A little note, even though a lot of poc representation in tintin is pretty influenced by the stereotypes of the time, and a bit of orientalism, tintin and the land of black gold is also the first time in my childhood where the words "assalamualaikum" Was muttered in any piece of animated media. It definitely wasn't perfect, but that was important to me as a Muslim child. Maybe that's why Abdullah and his dad hold a special place in my heart!
Next up we've got ARREGEHFHFHHGHJ!!!!!!! CHANG!!!!!!! MY FRIEND FROM SCHOOL WHO HELPED END A CRIME RING IN SHANGHAI!!!!!!! I adore him and his personality so much!!!! HE WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AS A KID AND HE STILL IS TODAY WHEN I REWATCH BLUE LOTUS!!!!!!!! The way that the moment he was saved by Tintin in that flood he pledged his undying loyalty to Tintin will never not be sweet to me. HE IS SO TALENTED AND CUNNING, HE SAVED TINTIN FROM CERTAIN DOOM MULTIPLE TIMES IN THE LITTLE TIME THEY'VE SPENT TOGETHER, AND IN TINTIN IN TIBET, TINTIN SAVES HIM ONCE AGAIN (Tintin in tibet is also a very memorable and special episode for me) AND JUST-- ARGEHDBEHF I CAN CONTINUE ON AND ON ABOUT HOW CHANG SHOULDVE BEEN INCLUDED IN MORE ADVENTURES!!!!! actually Tintin has TONS OF CHARACTERS who should have been given more important roles in a lot of different stories!!!! Idk maybe that's just a wish that will never be fulfilled.... Still I can dream!
And last but DEFINITELY not least... THE MILANESE NIGHTINGALE HERSELF, BIANCA CASTAFIORE!!!!!!!!!!!! AGHHDHEHFHJDHV MY GORGEOUS MY BEAUTIFUL MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING I MISS HER SO MUCH
SHE WAS A HIGHLIGHT FOR ME!!!!!! AND SHE IS VERY UNDERRATED!!!! I love seeing how much she treasures her friends, how she's so dramatic about everything, how she has such an unapologetically loud and large presence and personality everywhere she goes, how she is genuinely passionate about her singing and her art, how she clearly knows her worth and won't settle for less from anyone.
Every time she was on screen she always made me feel very happy and warm inside, also I really like her voice!!!!!
AND HER DESIGN!!!!! ARRRGHWHFHH HER DESIGN!!!
I'm ngl, she was the hardest for me to draw. But at the end I'm quite satisfied with the results!!!!
She would be such an amazing friend. SHE'S ALWAYS BRINGING GIFTS AND BEING CONSIDERATE WITH HER FRIENDS, AND SHE WOULD NEVER HIDE JUST HOW MUCH PEOPLE MEAN TO HER
PLEEEEASEEEE CASTAFIORE I MISS YOU SO MUCH GIRLFRIEND COME BACK TO ME-
Anyway, the last picture is how I'd imagine Chang and Castafiore's first meeting would go. She as always, acts as sweet and polite and extra af as she always does, let's Chang know that Tintin's talked a lot about him! And then she would bring out some biscuits and pastries she bought as a gift for everyone, and then she and Chang would sit together while eating, and they get along really well, CHANG HAS A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR THAT CASTAFIORE CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF, (haddock would be completely dumbfounded with how good at talking to Castafiore Chang is, and how anyone could talk to her for so long) but little did haddock know, in their conversations, Castafiore does a whole lot more listening than speaking, especially when Chang starts to tell his back story, and all the things that have happened to him and Tintin. After Chang ends his story, he looks up at her after a while of being lost in his story, and mascara is dripping down her face silently, her mouth is agape, and for a few moments couldn't say anything.
Suddenly she burst out loud, pulled Chang into a hug, and sobs after listening to the horrors this sweet kid has gone through.
In over a few hours she seems to have grown a strong attachment to this kid, she'll probably send a package filled with gifts a few months later, along with a long letter talking about what she's been up to and her wishes that Chang will succeed with anything he's currently busy with, and that he shall take care of himself well.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the small character appreciation I was able to share for some obscure/underrated characters! And that they will occupy your mind just for a little while. I love these three so much, tintin shaped me as a person, tintin made my childhood, I hope you have a great day.
Click for better quality!!!!!!
#bianca castafiore#chang chong chen#tchang tchong tchen#chang#abdullah#prince abdullah#the adventures of tintin#adventures of tintin#tea art 🎨#oklo makes a post
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incredibly messy essay of my thoughts on darkstalker, straight from my DMs with a friend because they demanded i post it [which means it has incredibly improper grammar]
hes an awful awful person, unapolagetically, and i think there are scenes and areas where he could've been written better. or had more nuance, like his dynamic with arctic [why do they hate each other ?? theres no explanation given, really, besides the fact that they do] but people who reduce him to a monster just baffle me. he loved his mother, he loved whiteout, he tried to love clearsight even though he did it wrong. and clearsight/darkstalker is a really iffy territory, because he did love her and he thought he was loving her right but he wasnt he was kind of controlling and bad! the earrings !! the earrings that kept her from seeing the bad futures !! but he also loved her, he did. their relationship was doomed from the start but he tried. she loved him back too, thats why it didnt work. thats why it hurt so much. he loved his mother too,, the few brief interactions they got in arc 2 hurt me to my core because fuck foeslayer loved him too, even though she realises he's done bad things. and whiteout!! whiteout!! she's one of the only characters we see darkstalker actually properly caring about in a way that doesnt really hurt them somehow. i think she loved him too,, she tried to warn him, she did :( ive thought about them a lot, maybe darkstalker trying to calm whiteout down at times, or them hiding with each other while arctic and foeslayer fought. arctic and foeslayer make me really ill too but this rant is getting long enough as it is. darkstalker lost a little of his pizzazz in arc two because of how domination focused he was and the writing went more focused on making him this evil, hateable villain [imo] than a relatable and understandable villain. which is the best kind of villain. i hate the peacemaker thing i hate it i hate it and that scene in book ten makes me cry every time because he was hurt by it he was so hurt by it. he didnt need a second chance, he needed to die, he needed to reconcile with himself and accept that there was no way he would ever save any of it. something like him coming to his senses, him realising everything he's done is awful and hurtful and he's not ever going to be able to fix it, but he can at least apologise even if the icewings dont accept his apology, not all of them, they'll understand they havent been hating a monster without feelings this whole time,, and maybe some of them can start to understand him and they can start to heal and they can stop hurting each other. but he needed to die and it needed to be on his own terms and i think foeslayer shouldve gotten her peace with that and i think if i were here i wouldve chosen to die too. the world is so different from what either of them knew and i would be tired of trying to change and i would be tired of trying to fix it and i think ending that legacy right there and right then with the two of them together wouldve been good. and maybe foeslayer can tell darkstalker she loves him - maybe she never had time when he was a kid - and maybe he can tell her too and they can leave that world together with the knowledge that they tried but they dont have to try anymore.
#if you're just here to say “i hate darkstalker” fuck off btw <3#hound.txt#wings of fire#darkstalker wof#darkstalker wings of fire#idk what to tag this with even???#enjoy. have fun.
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im sorry you probably dont want this in your askbox but i dont really think it makes sense to talk about madness and leafi the same way for a lot of reasons. Idk maybe im just seeing a transgirl getting relentlessly dogpiled because of old screenshots and having an over-empathetic response but fuck man she was 13 when those screenshots were taken. Shes not even 18 right now shes crazy young for her level of play (like literally should be community banned for lying about being 13 for multiple years during splatoon 2 to get around discord community guidelines but thats a tangent). She said in her apology she was trying to fit in with a real shitty group of people she doesn't associate with anymore and fuck man im probably giving herself way too much grace cause i seeing a terrifying exaggeration of something i went through on a public scale but like people are editing HER face onto memes and talking shit about HER and constantly misgendering her when madness is not only an actual adult but has been ACTUALLY DOING THIS SHIT RECENTLY. im not saying the shit she was saying wasnt heinous but fuck man this isnt gonna help her and i dont want the dumass bullshit she said when she was a middle schooler to ruin the rest of her life. sorry for the white girl mental illness blast but there is important context in this ranty anxiety and projection goop
anon asked for a tldr for the situation w/ jackpot as a whole, which included leafi's part in the situation. as the post was about how jackpot as a team has made racist statements. i chose screenshots that put my point clearly, which just so happened to be screenshots with madness and leafi. i'll go more into it here, though
i did not mean to compare her to madness when including screenshots of her old statements. i was compiling the most blatant screenshots from the thread i had originally linked in a prior post. i was going to include other things, but didnt have the time to compile them and was beginning to get stressed about being the source of this info on tumblr.
i was also going to include this video of her saying racist statements in 2024, but i didnt want to include a twitter link for an anon that couldnt access twitter. im realizing i shouldve done so
i do feel bad for her getting involved with a group of people THAT bad if she was truly that ignorant when she was younger, but thats where my sympathy ends. she still acted racist and still associated with clearly racist people even when she was older and more mature. ive learned since making that post that she was born in 2007. 16 is still an age where you should be mature enough to understand that those comments are racist, even with america's shitty public education system glossing over racism.
i definitely see why this can look like people dogpiling on a trans woman though, and the people doing memes and editing her into them in general about this situation are disgusting. i had no idea she was trans and that people were misgendering her. anyone making this situation about her being trans are awful and not people i stand by.
but all of that, including her being skilled despite her age, still doesnt forgive or erase her actions. nothing like that does for the other members of jackpot that have also stated racist things. nothing like that does for any other comp splatoon player that has said anything similar. the apology she put out was needed, but from what ive heard from others, it wasnt the best. she is writing another apology, though, so it couldve just been rushed.
no one has to accept her apology, either. as a white person myself, im not one that should even be one to accept her apology. it wasnt an apology for me, and it isnt one for you, either (if you are white as you say but i might be misreading). people should not be painted in a negative light for not accepting her apology even if it were an amazing one.
the way some people are reacting to this situation is not okay, but she still did awful things that she should be held accountable for. the other guilty members of jackpot are not better than her, but theyve all still said fucked up things. none of them have done anything to prove they arent racist, and theres only more evidence coming out that proves that they have been, so its hard to process at the moment.
could things change? yes, of course, but as of right now, leafi has stated racist things as recent as 2024 and put out a poor apology trying to defend herself. people are handling it poorly and trying to make it about her identity and making memes on it when it is not the right thing to do. these racist claims are being put w/ other racist claims made by other jackpot team members so it was included in my tldr post about the entire situation.
i apologize for poor wording in this, im not the best w/ these kinds of posts
#anon ask#important#i am Not thr right person for this but i wanted to clarify#i really shouldnt have posted more about it in general while i was still extremely anxious but oh well. hopefully this makes my thoughts-#-and intensions more clear
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