#and i flopped and didn’t take screenshots

[bonsaibudz]

second date went very very well (with maybe the exception that he's starting to be a little *too* frat boy for her..) with a teeny tiny surprise below the cut that explains pic 2

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um so a little secret random genuinely unexpected hookup maybe occurred while she was out on the date.. don't look at me i didn't do anything i absolutely made all the decisions :)

[kingkatsuki]

Thinking about a silly accidental confession with Kaji, because you just know he would have an entire photo album dedicated to you on his phone!!

It wasn’t unusual for you and Kaji to share phones, even though you weren’t dating. Swapping devices so you could create each other custom playlists for whatever new artist you were listening to that week, or searching through each others sound cloud to try and find that song you’d heard playing in a local music venue before the show.

The pair of you were so comfortable with each other that you knew each others passcodes, a fact that Hiragi took great delight in when he’d found out. Claiming that you could find out all of Kaji’s deep, dark secrets— causing his best friend to shoot him a glare across the table as he bit down on the hard peach candy he’d been sucking to stop himself from throwing back a retort.

But Hiragi was right— there was a huge secret that he’d been hiding from you, and one he was certain he’d take to his grave because there was no way you’d ever feel the same.

Kaji had left his phone on the coffee table as he’d got up to use the bathroom, giving you the perfect opportunity to pick it up and unlock it like you usually would. Intent on adding a new song you’d found by a local artist to his current playlist in the hopes of being able to drag him to one of their shows later this month. Typing in the digits across the screen as it unlocked and you were met with his photo gallery, not wanting to pry or come across an accidental lewd (no matter how curious you were) as your thumb moved to swipe out of the app but you paused when you noticed it.

Row upon row of photos of you. Candids mostly— of you smiling while sitting across the table in Pothos from him, ones where you were walking ahead of him beside Tsubaki as he lingered back, or your face pressed against the glass of an arcade machine as you tried to aim for a plushie inside. Along with selfies the pair of you had taken together, some with the ridiculous Snapchat filters Kaji had sworn he despised and barked at you to delete— bunny ears or fake blush filters on his cheeks, along with individual selfies of yourself that you had sent to him. And there was even screenshots of your conversations, or flirty and silly memes you’d sent each other.

And that’s the moment you looked up at the title of the album to see “My Everything <3” typed out. Feeling your heart begin to swell inside your chest as you were certain it would exert pressure against your rib cage and burst free, he really did feel the same.

“What are you doin’?” Kaji flopped back down beside you on the couch, his thigh nudging yours as he glanced over to his phone in your hands as he saw it, and for the first time since held known you he tried to snatch his phone from between your fingers roughly, “Give that back.”

“No.” You held it out of his reach as Kaji practically leaned his entire body over you to try and retrieve it, leaving your faces inches from each others as you met his steel-blue gaze, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think you felt the same,” His jaw locked as he tried to fight the awkward sensation that throbbed in his tummy, certain he’d ruined everything he already had with you because he had to go and catch feelings, “It’s stupid, I’m sorry I’ll delete it—”

“Why wouldn’t I?” You cut him off as you tilted your head to the side in confusion, and Kaji thought you looked so adorable it took every fiber of his being not to lean forward and smash his lips against yours.

“Why wouldn’t you what?” Kaji felt his throat start to tighten as his mouth felt dry, his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly to try and quell the feeling. Wishing he had a lollipop between his lips to stop himself from exploding as he tried to focus.

“Why wouldn’t I feel the same?” You gave him a soft smile as you dropped his phone onto the couch beside you in favour of cradling his jaw in your palm, feeling him lean into your warmth as your thumb stroked his cheek, “Because you’re my everything too.”

And that was all it took to have Kaji bridging the gap as he pressed his lips to yours in a gentle kiss.

[cy-cyborg]

How The Owl House did amputee representation right before Eda ever lost her arm - Disability in Media

[ID: A screenshot of Eda from The Owl House, an old woman with pale skin, very large, grey hair and pointed ears in a red dress. Beside the screenshot on a dark pink background is text that reads "Disability in media, How the Owl House got amputee representation right before eda ever lost her arm." /End ID]

Dana Terrace's The Owl House has some of the best disability rep I’ve seen on a Disney channel show in a long time, with Eda, the main character’s mentor, being one of many stand-out examples.

Plenty of people have discussed how Eda’s curse and the loss of her magic can work as an allegory for disability and how refreshing it is to see a story (especially one aimed at a younger audience) who’s focus is not on her “overcoming” it, but learning to accept it as a part of her and go from there. Eda’s story tackles a lot of subjects that are often mishandled in other examples of disability representation, from the subject of parents who refuse to accept, to glass siblings and much, much more, The Owl House handles all these topics beautifully.

But one thing that dawned on me during my most recent re-watch of The Owl House is how well Eda (and later Lilith) worked as amputee representation, long before Eda actually lost her arm.

One of the side effects of Eda and Lilith’s curse is that sometimes their body parts, mainly their limbs, can fall off. It doesn’t hurt them, and Eda is seen removing them intentionally at multiple times in the series, but they can always be reattached.

[ID: an image of Eda holding her sister Lilith's hand. Lilith is a pale woman with long, black hair, wearing grey clothes. She is looking at her other arm suprised, as her hand is missing. Luz, a Latina girl with short brown hair and a purple hoodie is looking on, smiling. /End ID]

While most likely unintentional, the way the show depicts this with Eda in particular is exactly what I wish more people would do with their prosthetic-using amputee characters.

Eda detaches her limbs, especially her legs, when they’re inconvenient or when she’s relaxing.

[ID: an image of Eda laying on the couch in a bathrobe, her hair in a towel. She has taken her legs off, throwing them to the other side of the seat. /End ID]

The fact that this is mostly played for laughs is actually a good thing in my opinion (though obviously, the show’s overall tone is part of that), as it shows the audience who are mostly children and teens, that in a world of weird and downright scary (from the perspective of the characters) things, this isn't one of them. It’s just a thing she and Lilith can do, and it can even be funny.

[ID: An image of Luz and Eda dressed as pirates. Eda is sitting on the ground, her legs detached and off screen somewhere. /End ID]

It does startle Luz and Lilith on a few occasions, but that’s more because they didn’t know the curse could do that, but once they’re introduced to it, it’s never really brought up as a big deal again.

I’d love to see more amputee characters who do this with their prosthetics. So often media is almost afraid to have amputees take their prosthetics off on camera or on the page. For some folks, our prosthetics are like a part of our bodies, but that doesn’t mean we never take them off. Show your leg amputee flop on the couch and throw their legs across the room. Have them go without on occasion, not because they have to, but because they just don’t feel like putting them on.

Likewise, the owl house creators never shy away from showing Eda when her limbs aren’t all attached. A lot of media, and kid’s shows in particular, will avoid having an amputee character’s stump visible if they ever do take their prosthetics off - treating that part of the character’s body the same way they treat gore or nudity. I’ve talked before how this actually does have a real impact on how kids in particular react to amputees - I’ve legitimately had kids I worked with cry when I took my prosthetics off, then immediately calm down when they see there’s nothing "scary" under my socks. As much as I love How To Train Your Dragon, it’s very guilty of this. Hiccup looses his leg at the end of the first movie, and wakes up with his prosthetic already attached. The Netflix series has a few instances where he has his prosthetic off, but the camera almost always avoids showing it until he can cover it up again, or is super zoomed-out so you wouldn’t be able to “see anything”. To their credit, they do get better with this in the last movie (though it's still always covered), but for the majority of the series, they are very reluctant to have any shots where hiccup’s leg is in view without the prosthetic (unless they’re very far away).

[ID: a screenshot of Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon 3, a white man with short brown hair, and one leg missing, wearing armour made of black dragon scales and no prosthetic. He is holding onto toothless's head, a black dragon. /End ID]

Ironically, Eda does (permanently) loose an arm at the end of season 2, but I don’t really have much to say about her as amputee representation on that front, since she’s absent for a lot of Season 3, and when we do see her again, everything is so hectic, the story doesn’t really have any time to focus on her missing limb (which is reasonable). I will say, I do appreciate that they kept the amputation when she's in her owl-beast form in the finale, but there's honestly not much more to say about it. We do see her again in the epilogue after she’s had some time to settle into the amputation, wearing a hook prosthetic, but it’s, once again, too quick to really say anything from a representation standpoint. There's a few little nit-picky things I could bring up, like the fact they seemed to change the type on amputation she had (when she looses it, we see the split was very close to the elbow, but in the epilogue she has most of her forearm again) but those read to me more like animation mistakes or an odd prosthetic/clothing designs rather than a representation issue - and as someone who's worked in animation, given the stress the team was under for the finale, I'm not really worried about it. Like I said, it's more nit-picky than anything.

[ID: A screenshot of Eda, her hair tied back and wearing a red robe and a hook for her right hand. /End ID]

Despite all that though, I still think Eda is still good amputee representation, but mostly because of how they depict her curse’s side effects rather than her actual amputation. She’s honestly one of the only characters that I think you could refer to as “amputee coded” (outside of maybe Teen Titan’s Cyborg), and I genuinely wish more creators would treat their actual amputee characters the same way the Owl House treats Eda in that regard.

[base0h]

NOT SAYING I LOVE YOU BACK TO HAIKYUU CHARACTERS

a/n - I feel like someone requested this with Osamu, nishinoya, ushijima, and tendou a while ago and it got deleted??? Sorry anon 😭🙏 bro writing this made me feel lonely. 💀

Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, s/o reader

- bold of you to assume bro would let you do this

- well for this let’s just say he did

- you saw this TikTok about this prank where one person didn’t say I love you back to their partners, and you thought it’d be funny to try it on Osamu

- Osamu was getting ready to head to a late practice, getting his bag and shoes to leave your room

- you were doing some homework, so he gave you a hug from behind and pecked your cheek

- “Love ya, goin to practice now.” -Osamu

- “Ok be safe, bye Samu.” -you

- you said that with a smile, going back to your homework, acting as if nothing was wrong

- Osamu nodded, closing the door behind him, his footsteps receding, but then suddenly they stopped

- you had to struggle not to snicker at the sudden stop of his footsteps

- then you heard him coming back and you swore you almost let out a laugh, swallowing it quickly as he opened the door again

- “Y/n. I love you—“

- “Huh? Yeah I know Samu, be safe and good luck at practice.”

- he looked at you like you were Atsumu, squinting as he put a hand on his hip, shifting his weight to one foot like he was posing to be in a magazine when in reality he was just confused and a bit irritated

- “…What did I do??”

- “You didn’t do anything what do you mean??”

- “Yer makin’ me look desperate here— I love you—“

- “…Yeah i know???”

- “Y/N.”

- “Osamu???”

- “Wh— don’t use my full name! What the hell did I do???”

- you couldn’t take it anymore, you laughed, covering your face as you struggled to catch your breath

- meanwhile osamu’s looking at you in the doorway with his hand still on his hip like a pissed off Karen that wants to speak to the manager (if he had a weapon it’d be a frying pan)

literally Osamu ^^

- oh my god his face was priceless, you wished you’d taken a real photo rather than a mental screenshot so you could show Suna

- “I’m sorry samu it was a prank. I love you too.”

- “…..I ain’t making ya dinner.”

- “NO PLEASE I’M SORRY—“

- yeah bros done with you

- he was all worried for nothing 😭

- he thought he did something wrong but no you just wanted to bullshit him

- he still made you dinner btw

- he like gave you a plate without saying anything and eating in the other room but he still gave it to you (he’s petty)

- basically an Asian parent 💀

- nishinoya probably says ‘I love you’ about 100000000000000+ times and counting, per day

- and he lives for hearing you say it back to him

- he still gets giddy when he hears you say it

- “Y/n I love you!!” -Nishinoya

- “Love you too noya :)” -you

- “…..RYUUUUUUUU Y/N SAID THEY LOVED ME!!”

- “THEY SAY THAT EVERY DAY NISHINOYA SHUT UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL MORE SINGLE—“ -Tanaka shouted whilst sobbing in the corner (dw Tanaka you end up marrying the love of your life)

- you saw this prank on TikTok and obviously you wanted to try it on your eccentric boyfriend

- but you did feel SLIGHTLY bad about what his reaction might be since you were well aware that he loved hearing you say it back

- but you’re mean so 🤷 (Jkjk you’re awesome just pretend you’re mean for this pls🙏💀)

- Nishinoya was about to go to class, giving you one last bear hug before he went as usual

- “Are you sure we gotta go to class? I like you better than math :(“

- “Yes noya— you have to graduate high school remember?”

- “Ok fineee— I’ll see you after class then??”

- “Mhm.”

- “Ok love you y/n!!”

- “Ok— don’t fall asleep in class ok? See ya later.”

- the fact that the silence was so loud that even kiyoko who was walking by was like: 🫢

- Tanaka’s jaw was on the FLOOR

- Daichi probably verbally said “ohhhhh snap 😬” with that exact face

- Nishinoya was frozen, and all of the sudden he just flopped off of you, still holding his hug position, and just like died on the floor in a dead bug looking position

- you legit could not tell if he was breathing or not 😭

- you killed him

- good job y/n, you killed the guardian deity of karasuno

- Nishinoya literally passed out cold from pure despair because he didn’t hear you say it back, and therefore in his mind that equaled you didn’t love him and were breaking up with him and the world was ending and aliens were gonna invade earth (bro what? 💀)

- he woke up with his head in your lap, resting on your thighs— and he woke up with like zero memory and woke up as high as a kite too

- he was giggling like an idiot, spouting random nonsense and corny shit, going from flirty and sobbing his eyes out back and forth 😭

- “Am I in heaven? Cuz you look like an angel, angel 😏”

- “Thank you goddd— for blessing me with this gorgeous gift— 😭😭😭😭”

- he forgot about the prank btw

- hit his head way too hard on his way down and woke up on his favorite pillow so yep everything turned out semi ok 👍

- hey may or may not have permanent brain damage! 😄

- daichi aged 10 years after this incident by the way

- I feel like tendou says I love you all the time, but whenever you say it back he’s always a bit surprised

- he’s heard you say it a bunch of times by now but he’s still just a tad shocked everytime

- like he’s genuinely surprised you actually love him back 😭

- the first time you said it back bro cried 🥲

- he would NOT stop talking to ushijima about it, he kept gushing about how perfect you were and how he doesn’t deserve you and meanwhile ushijima is sitting there like: 🧍‍♂️

- funny part is that ushijima’s genuinely trying to listen to his friend but bro just doesn’t get it 💀

- you saw this prank on TikTok that seemed funny, you two always kinda went back and forth playing little jokes on each other

- last time he got you by putting a huge ass fake spider on the ceiling of your room so when you walked in he pulled a string and it jumped out and hit your face

- you did not talk to bro for days

- I wouldn’t either man 😭

- so now it was time to get him back

- he was getting ready to leave for a late practice, and he bounded over to you from behind your work chair as you were reading the shonen jump he had lent you

- “Ok I’m goin to practice I’ll see ya later y/n—“ -tendou

- “Ok bye tendou, have a good practice. Don’t piss off Semi too much—“ -you

- “Oh come on I don’t piss him off! Semi is my bestie he can confirm!”

- “I honestly don’t think you could pay semi an amount that would make him call you his ‘bestie’”

- “I can work miracles! Ok— bye y/n I love youuuuu—“

- “Bye tendou, good luck with working that miracle.“

- He paused, his lanky arms dropping down to his sides as he thought for a second

- did you not say it back or was he just going deaf?

- he did that thing yk where you like tilt your head to the side in confusion— and his hair like drooped down a bit 😭

- “…I love you—“

- “I know tendou, have a good practice!”

- he’s scared, genuinely terrified

- he’s running through his mind trying to think of why you didn’t say it back— did you think he was annoying?? Was he being too loud? Did you actually just not say it because you didn’t love him anymore?

- he wanted to ask what was wrong but he thought maybe he was being annoying so he just left to give you space 😭

- you felt awful

- he looked so confused and hurt before he left

- tendou went to ushijima for advice and to just talk about it— he’s probably the worst person to talk to about this stuff bc bro literally thinks the earth is flat but whatever

- “…..That’s rough buddy.” -ushijima whilst awkwardly patting tendou’s shoulder

- “…Was that an avatar reference?” -tendou

- “Hm? What is an ‘avatar’?”

- “Nevermind. Thanks for trying.”

- you felt so bad— so when he was just in his room doing homework, you came in and immediately gave him a hug, apologizing and saying I love you to him over and over

- he was confused but happy to hear you say it back— he was SWEATIN bro 😭

- “I thought I was being annoying—“

- “Oh no tendou it was just a prank—“

- “….Wait was this payback for the spider?”

- “…..Yeah.”

- “…Ok I kinda deserved that then.”

- “Love you tendou, I promise you’re not annoying.”

- “Love you too y/n :)”

……

- “….Don’t you dare even think about pranking me with a spider again.”

- “I won’t make any promises that I can’t keep 😄”

- if there’s one thing he always remembers to do it’s to say ‘I love you’ before he leaves or before you go to sleep

- he doesn’t talk much but he never fails to say it to you

- even if he pretty much doesn’t talk the whole day, his few words will be those practiced words that have now been engrained into his mind

- you saw a prank video on instagram and thought it would be interesting to try it on ushijima, you honestly weren’t sure how he’d react

- he was getting ready to leave for practice, coming up from behind you as you worked on some assignments, giving you a quick one armed hug since his other arm was full carrying his stuff

- “I’ll be back tonight, goodbye y/n, I love you.” -ushijima

- “Ok, have a good practice.” -you

- he waited a minute, since usually he heard you say it back— but no you went right back to doing your work

- he assumed that maybe you were very absorbed and busy with your assignments and studies, which he understood and wanted to respect your work time

- so he left without another word, not wanting to disturb you

- but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t care about the fact that you didn’t say it back to him

- he was so accustomed to you saying those three words back to him or to him directly, maybe he’d taken it for granted? Because now without hearing them, he felt— wrong

- he wasn’t greatly disturbed, but he wasn’t normal either

- he thought about it a couple times during breaks in practice, wondering if he did something to make you distant or frustrated with him

- after practice was over, he came back, seeing you still doing your work like when he left, and he tried to be as quiet as possible to not bother you in case that was the reason behind why you didn’t say it back

- dude he was trying so hard to figure out what to do 😭

- he called tendou because he thought either tendou was the expert on these things or semi, and semi did NOT pick up 💀 (idk why but I feel like semi never answers his phone, not even on purpose, but like his ringer doesn’t work or some shit and he’s sitting there wondering why no one texts him or calls him)

- “Uhhhh…. Good luck Wakatoshi-kun!” -tendou

- “Is the situation that bleak?? I require your best wishes..? Tendou is this serious?” (Poor guy is sweating now 💀)

- “Well it’s either ‘damn well— good luck’ or it’s a prank! I’ve seen people do a prank on their partners where they don’t say ‘I love you’ back.” (tendou’s chronically online there isn’t a meme or prank trend bro hasn’t seen)

- “…..I see. How do I know which one it is?”

- “…..Good luck with that!”

- some help you are tendou 💀

- ushijima is not good at being subtle, so he just blatantly asked you— after you were going to take a break from your work

- “Y/n, did I do something to make you distant? Or was this a prank? Tendou told me about a certain trending prank partners do to their significant others, and—“ (he was talking the most you’ve ever heard him speak because bro was nervous actually despite looking normal)

- “I’m sorry Ushijima it was a prank yeah— I love you too ok?”

- he felt his shoulders relax when he finally heard you say it with that familiar smile that melted his heart

- ever since that prank you did— he’s said it more often

- he has a routine now, instead of just when he leaves or when he goes to sleep, he texts you in the morning, or says it to you if you’re there with him

- he says it whenever you say you text him or say over the phone you have to go do something

- he says it when you get back or when he gets back

- he says it a lot let’s just put it that way :)

- also semi was so betrayed that ushijima asked tendou for advice and not him later on 🥲

- “You asked TENDOU first?! Of all people?! You would’ve had better luck with goshiki!” -semi

- “Huh what?! I heard my name! Did someone call me?!” -goshiki appearing out of nowhere anytime someone says anything starting with “go”

- “BRO HOW DID YOU MATERIALIZE?!”

- “BAHAHAHAHAHAHDHDHEUHDUD—“ -tendou having an asthma attack from laughing

- “Apologies Semi, you did not pick up your phone. And from what I recall, you’ve never been in a relationship before, correct?” -ushijima

- bye bye semi’s self esteem 💀 tendou was about to cry and turn blue from laughing so hard, slapping his knee, cackling, shaking semi by his shoulders and giggling like a little shit

- ushijima is BRUTAL bro 🥲

a/n - semi got violated, a moment of silence for him 😔🙏

[charmandabear]

Office Hours - Chapter Three

Summary:

Astarion surprises you by inviting you to his place... for a real date? The evening doesn't go as expected when you uncover the darkness in his past.

Pairing: Astarion/F!Reader Rating: E Word Count: 5.4k Tags/Warnings: mentions of Astarion's past, vampire bites, blood drinking, blow job, p in v sex, fluff with a very small side of angst, Shadowheart being a bit of a manic pixie dream best friend

Since y'all are insistent on encouraging my worst tendencies, here, have the longest single thing I've ever written. I think about Professor Astarion at all waking (and sleeping at this point) hours. I have other things planned, I will eventually write something else, I promise. But also... this one is now becoming a full-fledged multi-chapter fic. I'm half-considering rewriting the first few chapters so it's in third-person? I don't know though, let me know what you think.

H1ghVoltage and Zaria were both invaluable betas for this one, I appreciate you both so much. And Zaria for always providing the most perfect screenshots at the drop of a hat. This literally would not exist without you.

Read on AO3 ~ Masterlist

“Excuse me? The one you’re always going on about?” Shadowheart’s eyebrows disappear into her platinum bangs as she tucks her feet underneath her, holding up her wine glass so it doesn’t spill. The two of you met while moving into adjacent apartments a few years prior; it turned out you had both just been hired at the university, her at the Divinity School and you at the College of Arts and Sciences. Since then you’ve become fast friends, and you’re finally filling her in on all of the details of the whirlwind that has been the past few days. You hide your chagrin behind a sip of wine.

“Okay, listen, yes, but hear me out. He looks like this.” You hold out your phone and show her the English department faculty page.

“Oh. Oh,” she says in a low tone as her eyes study the screen. “Okay, you didn’t tell me that.” 

“I think I was in denial,” you whine as you drop your head onto the couch cushion. “I focused on how much of an asshole he is to distract me from how hot he is.”

“And now? Will you see him again?” She tosses your phone at your feet and you lift your gaze.

“I don’t know? He made a joke about having sex in my office but I don’t think he actually meant it.” You cast a sidelong glance at Shadowheart, trying to gauge her expression.

“Scandalous,” she smiles into the rim of her glass before taking a long sip. You pick up your phone, looking at his portrait. It looks like a candid photo but it’s very clearly composed. He’s sitting pitched forward, his elbows resting on his knees. He’s looking off to the side and his brow is furrowed like he’s engaged in vigorous academic debate. It’s wildly pretentious.

You drop your phone again and angrily sip at your wine, letting the dry red flood over your tongue and coat the inside of your mouth. You notice Shadowheart eyeing you suspiciously.

“Do you want to?” she asks, and you put your glass onto the coffee table and curl your knees into your chest further.

“I… I don’t know? Like obviously the sex is good. Really good,” you add under your breath, and Shadowheart looks at you salaciously as your cheeks flush. “But whenever he says more than five words I want to gouge my eyes out.”

“Is that really how you feel, or have you just convinced yourself to feel that way?” she carefully asks. You glare at her, but you can't bring yourself to disagree. You drop your less-than-menacing expression and cover your face in your hands. You let out an exasperated sigh before suddenly gasping and looking up at her with wide eyes.

“Nine hells, did I tell you what else happened? At least one student knows. I saw her coming out of his office and she made some comment about ‘We all see how you look at him.’” You flop onto your side, burying your face in the couch cushion once again.

“Well, I suppose that answers your question, at least,” Shadowheart says reassuringly, and you narrow your eyes at her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean if you like him enough that your students are noticing, then you have to pursue him. The worst that’ll happen is you’ll break up and you can go back to hating him.” She’s awfully nonchalant about having just described a literal nightmare.

“Excuse me, how is that possibly meant to make me feel better?” you gape at her.

“At least you get a good shagging out of the deal, right?” she grins at you, and her teeth are tinged purple from the wine. You kick your foot out at her.

“Man, we need to get you laid, don’t we?” you tease and she groans.

“Listen, you just told me that you got railed twice in three days, it’s not that good out here for most of us.” Now it’s her turn to cover her face and you laugh. You pick up your wine and stretch your legs out to nudge Shadowheart’s calf.

“Who knows, maybe there’s some hot chick in the English department that he can hook you up with.” She pushes your leg back and rolls her eyes.

“Absolutely not, English academics are the worst.”

***

You have no idea what to expect when you inevitably run into Astarion the next day. You're tempted to just work from home since you don’t have any classes, but you have another damn season selection committee meeting that you can't miss, and you'd rather be around for students to drop in if they need to. 

You're on your way to the bathroom at the end of the day when you finally see him. You almost don't, at first, since you're looking down at your phone and you stop short of barrelling into him. You lock eyes and smile politely, then step to your left just as he steps to his right. You two share an awkward laugh just as it happens again in the opposite direction. After another few seconds of uncomfortable shuffling, he takes you by your shoulders and moves you to the side. You give him a thankful grin and quickly move past, trying to ignore the burning in your cheeks and the way your arms tingle where he touched you.

You get to the bathroom and close the door behind you, leaning against it to brace yourself. Your stomach is roiling, though whether it was from the embarrassment, the insatiable lust, or something else entirely, you can't quite tell. You turn on the faucet and splash your face with cool water. You stare at your reflection in the mirror, trying to will yourself into stoicism. It's a losing battle as the image of him having you bent over the sink pops into your mind. You shake your head, trying to think of something else, but that only makes it worse.

He’s pressed you up against the bathroom door and he's got your wrists pinned together above your head.

No, stop, you scold yourself. But the second you banish that image another one comes flooding in, your leg draped over his shoulder as he’s lightly sucking your clit with his fingers curled inside you.

You're dizzy with the mental image and you try to wrest it from your mind. You focus on the visual stimuli around you, the white tile, the fluorescent lights, the small blue stain beneath the soap dispenser. Eventually you find yourself back in your body and you massage your temples, trying to focus. 

Your head is still reeling slightly as you make your way back to your office. You unlock the door, completely unaware of his presence behind you until you catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of your eye. You yelp and in an instant he’s towering over you with your back up against the wall. 

“Almighty gods, Astarion,” you swear breathlessly, your heart pounding more from the scare than the proximity for once. The proximity doesn’t help, however, when he tilts your chin with his knuckle and smiles devilishly. 

“Come to my place, let me cook you dinner,” he purrs, and your breath quickens. But when his words finally break through the seductive tone, something in your brain stops.

“Wait, cook? Can you- do you even- how-” You still haven’t fully recovered and your mouth struggles to form words. His smile widens and you know he’s enjoying watching you splutter.

“What, do you think in all of my 350 years I've never bedded a mortal? Besides,” he trails his hand down your neck and strokes it gently with his thumb, sending a shiver down your spine, “I have other ways of getting my fill.”

You instinctively tilt your head for him, almost like you’re inviting him to bite right here and now. You manage to recoup your senses just enough to quip, “I’m sure you have plenty of experience luring cute mortals back to your place.”

You think you see his jaw tighten for a fraction of a second, but it’s gone before you can be sure.

“I’ll take it as a yes, then?” He pulls away and adjusts his glasses, his fingers sliding into his hair. You nod, not trusting the words to come out of your mouth. He pulls a slip of paper from his pocket and tucks it into the neckline of your shirt, a move that would have been unbearably corny coming from anyone else.

“See you then… lover.” He winks and glides out of the room as silently as he came in. You take a breath to steady yourself, a voice in the back of your head grumbling because of how much he has you wrapped around his finger. But admittedly, he seemed equally flustered when you almost plowed into him a few minutes ago.

Maybe not the best choice of words.

You pull the piece of paper out to see an address, date, and time. Tomorrow at 7. 

Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool.

Now you just need to occupy yourself for the next 26 hours and not completely lose your nerve.

***

Occupying yourself isn’t terribly difficult with Shadowheart around. She keeps you busy all day with various errands, shopping, anything to keep you from spiraling.

Nevertheless, when it’s finally time to get dressed, you find yourself overthinking every tiny element. You stand frozen in front of your open underwear drawer trying to decide between the black lace or the pink satin.

“Shadowheeeaaaarrrrrtttt,” you call out to her in the other room. She pops her head in and gives you a pitying smile as she sees your anxiety-ridden face.

“Alright, sit, let me help,” she clinks her glass down on your dresser and nudges you until you’re sitting on your bed, fidgeting with the belt of your robe. 

“Black lace, it’s sexier,” she says sagely, tossing the panties at you and you slide them on under your robe. She pulls the plaid skirt out of the shopping bag and flings it onto the bed. 

“Put that on because we both agreed it’s adorable. It might be warm enough to go without tights?” she muses, then glances at you mischievously. “And since he has a track record of destroying those, maybe go with these instead.” She throws a pair of thigh highs at you and they hit you in the face. You wrinkle your nose.

“Careful,” you warn, but she ignores you. She floats over to your closet and sifts through the hangers. She pulls out a top, shifts her gaze between you and the garment a few times, then drops it on the floor. After another moment of searching, she pulls out a blousy cardigan, throwing it on the bed next to you.

“Don’t put that on yet, I’ll be right back.” She disappears before you can say anything. You’re left sitting on your bed in just your bra and skirt, and you rub your feet together with a restless energy.

Shadowheart returns just a few minutes later holding a lacy top that reads more as lingerie than an actual shirt. She returns your skeptical frown with a giant grin.

“Shade, I'm not wearing that,” you gripe, and she throws it in your face.

“Put it on before you judge,” she chides in response, and you roll your eyes. 

“Fine, but it probably won't fit,” you say as you take off your bra and don the sheer v-neck cami. Other than straining around your chest slightly, the fit is fine. You put on the oversized cardigan over it and look at the full effect in your floor length mirror.

“See, told you,” she says smugly as you admire your reflection. And it's true, the underwear-as-outerwear really does bring the look from glorified schoolgirl cosplay into something a bit more refined. You give her a disgruntled sidelong glance but otherwise say nothing.

“Alright, get going. Go put your shoes on and chase that Ph D.” She pushes you out of your bedroom and towards the front door of your apartment. “Don't worry about me, I'll be here drinking your wine and masturbating all by myself while you get fucked through the end of the tenday.”

You slip on your black suede ankle boots and pleadingly look at Shadowheart one more time. You're still not convinced that this whole thing isn’t just a trip into the lion’s den.

“Go! I look forward to hearing all the gory details,” she says and plants a smooch on your cheek. She then smacks your ass as you head out the door, your yelp earning a satisfied smirk.

Sure enough, when you find yourself outside his apartment door, you can feel your cold feet catching up with you. You're about to take out your phone and text Shadowheart that you're going to leave when his door opens.

“Hello, beautiful,” he croons, and the syrup in his voice makes your mouth go dry. The sleeves of his white button down are rolled up and the first few buttons are undone, leaving his collarbone exposed. The black vest tapers in his waist and flows seamlessly into his well-tailored trousers. But the first thing you notice is his glasses.

“Your glasses are different,” you blurt, internally cursing your bluntness. His eyebrows pop up above the thicker plastic frames.

“Is that a problem?” he asks without a hint of malice in his voice. You blush and quickly shake your head.

“No I- I like them. They look good,” you stutter, looking away from the heat of his gaze. He smiles and takes your hand almost like he's leading you in a courtly dance, pulling you inside.

You look around his apartment, noticing the similarities to the hominess of his office. Big overfull bookshelves, warm-lit lamps dotted around the space, papers and other junk littered across every surface. It still surprises you that he doesn’t keep a tidy space, but at the same time you find it oddly charming.

You spot a hairless cat sitting on some mail on a table in the corner, delicately licking its paw. 

“Aww, who’s this?” You approach the cat, holding out your hand for it to sniff. It hisses in response and you take a step back.

“That's His Majesty, and you're best to respect his wishes,” Astarion calls from the kitchen.

“You named your cat His Majesty?” you ask, trying to suppress the laugh bubbling in your throat.

“No, he named himself His Majesty,” he replies, returning from the kitchen with a spoonful of risotto. “Taste,” he commands and you obediently open your mouth. The steaming food coats your tongue with a tangy, savory taste. You nod at him, barely trusting yourself to speak. It tastes incredible.

You turn back to His Majesty, and you notice an empty potion of animal speaking tipped on its side near him.

“Well I'll just admire such a handsome creature from a distance, then,” you say and His Majesty preens slightly. You can hear a hum of approval from Astarion as he retreats back into the kitchen.

This man is full of contradictions. Pristine, clean cut outward appearance with a cluttered, disorganized space. Cool and disaffected, but he loves his cat enough to use potions to communicate with him. He doesn't need to eat, but somehow he’s an incredible cook? You frown to yourself; it feels like something doesn't add up.

You start scanning one of the bookshelves, wondering what else you can learn about him. If there was an organizational system, it wasn't clear. 48 Laws of Power, History of Modern Sexuality, On the Genealogy of Morality, Gender Trouble… Ayn Rand sitting next to Octavia Butler?

What the fuck does he like?

“How is my collection of books holding up in your estimation?” Astarion’s sudden presence behind you makes you jump. He presses a wine glass into your hand and ghosts his lips across the crook of your neck, sending a swath of goosebumps down your arms.

“Did I tell you that you look absolutely delicious?” he murmurs into your skin, and you can already feel yourself getting lightheaded.

“You're one to talk,” you say on a dizzied exhale, and the breath from his laugh tickles your shoulder. He puts his hands on your waist, running a finger along the inside of the waistband of your skirt. He gives it a gentle tug and you unconsciously move in the direction he’s pulling.

“Come eat,” he says, guiding you to a table with one place setting. You sit, feeling awkward as he sits across from you, a wine glass in his hand.

“Are you just going to watch me eat?” you laugh nervously. He smiles into the glass, glancing at you above the rectangular frames sliding down his nose.

“Well if you're insistent, I can have my dinner as well.” He's not subtle about leering at your neck, sparking a flicker of heat in your belly. You distract yourself by taking another bite of the risotto, which somehow tastes even better than what he fed you before.

“So what do you experience when you have… food?” you ask, trying to shift his attention off you eating. He looks up as he thinks, and you find your gaze tracing his jawline.

“It’s… sour. Like it’s spoiled. But when something is cooked well, and with high quality ingredients, it’s more bearable.”

You look down at your food, the taste dancing across your palette. It's certainly better than something you could make for yourself. But you know so little about cooking techniques besides the basics that you don’t know what the difference would even be.

“And you're drinking wine. What does that taste like?” You try not to stare at the dark red liquid collecting on his lips, but it’s hard not to when his tongue darts out to lick it up.

“Alcohol has a higher threshold for quality, so it's generally more palatable. It usually means a higher budget for these things, but it's not as though I'm spending much on groceries.” He narrows his eyes at you, but you can't read his expression. 

“Well go on,” he continues, and you tilt your head in confusion. “Ask the question that you really want to ask.” Your heart starts beating a little faster and he smirks. Gods, you really hate that he can read you like that. It would be nice to keep at least one emotion private.

“What does blood taste like?” Your voice is barely above a whisper, but it's clear that he hears you. His smile widens just enough to show off his fangs.

“It depends on the person,” he replies just as casually as if you had asked him about his taste in music. “Some are sweeter, like a nice rich port, while others have a bit of a burn, like whiskey. However, you?” He places his glass on the table and stands, and you can feel the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end. He crosses behind your chair and sweeps your hair to the side, lasciviously inhaling your scent behind your ear, eliciting a shiver.

“Yours is smooth with a hint of spice, like a fine aged brandy. But the finish has an addictive quality, like absinthe.” He nips lightly at the base of your neck without breaking skin.

“Such pretty words,” you exhale on a breathy moan, reaching a hand up behind you and running your fingers through his hair, pulling him toward you ever so slightly.

“Is that what you want?” he breathes into your ear, and you arch your back in your seat, panting. You can barely get out the “yes” before he sweeps you out of the chair and wraps your legs around his waist. He carries you into the kitchen, placing you on the counter and pressing your knees apart with his torso. You whine and the cool tile pressing into your ass reminds you of his touch. He slides one hand behind your head and the other around your waist, and sinks his teeth into your neck.

The initial pain surprises you every time, and your yelp is followed by his satisfied groan. You grip the back of his neck as he drinks, and you can feel the muscles working with each swallow. The feeling of your blood coursing through both of your bodies gets you high, knowing it's your blood that flushes his lips, cheeks, and ears. It's your blood flowing to his cock. The reminder of it makes you clench instinctively.

He pulls away just as you're teetering on the edge of passing out. He’s always panting after he feeds, his glasses slightly askew and a ravenous look in his eye that makes your mouth water. You pull him into a heated kiss, the metallic tang on his lips becoming a sensory reminder of the post-feeding bliss. 

You pull him closer with your feet, aching just to feel him pressed against you. Your hands scramble against his back, tugging at his collared shirt. He’s wearing far too many layers and he hasn’t even blessed you with the sight of his gorgeous sculpted chest yet. 

You slide a hand into the back of his collar, desperate for his skin, when your fingers brush over thick raised scar tissue. He pulls back faster than you do and your hands immediately go to cover your mouth.

“I'm sorry, I didn’t–” you begin but the pained look in his eye makes you stop short.

“No it's… it's fine. I've had those for a very long time. I… ah…” he stutters, adjusting his glasses uncomfortably, and you've never seen him so flummoxed.

“What are they from?” The question leaves your mouth before you can stop it. You're about to retract, tell him he doesn't need to answer, when he speaks quietly.

“They're from… the man who turned me. He kept me as a slave for 200 years. It’s something written in infernal, but I never found out what it said. And his death ensured I never would.” He speaks while looking down at the floor, his distant gaze indicating that he's somewhere else entirely.

“Astarion…” you breathe, and you cup his face in your hands. He smirks and snakes his arms around your waist; the mask is back on.

“Don’t worry about me, darling,” he says with a composed smile, “it was a very long time ago. I’m more concerned with tonight.” He moves to kiss your neck again but you put your hand against his chest to stop him.

“No- well, I mean yes to tonight, but… let me take care of you,” you say softly, and his careful expression slips again.

“I- well if that’s what you want.” He crinkles his brow, unsure of what to make of your proposal.

“Is it what you want?” You stroke his cheek, and it suddenly feels like this is an entirely different man standing in front of you. Hesitant, vulnerable, his usual swaggering confidence replaced with an uncertain tenderness that makes your heart pound in a way that feels wholly unfamiliar with him.

“I’m not sure,” he says, his voice dropping to just above a whisper.

“We don’t have to,” you offer quickly, “we can just fuck up against a wall or something.” The joke breaks the tension and he lets out a little giggle.

“What do you have in mind?” He looks up at you through heavy-lidded eyes, and you ease off the counter and gently nudge him backwards toward his bedroom. He follows your lead, his doubtful look shifting into something of excitement and mischief. You guide him until the back of his knees hit the bed, and you push him to sit. 

You straddle his lap and run your fingers through his silvery curls. You kiss along his jawline and down his neck, placing a particularly tender kiss on his bite scar. He exhales heavily, sliding his hands up your thighs and resting them on your lower back.

You begin carefully unbuttoning his vest, followed by his shirt, untucking the hem from his pants. You slide it down his shoulders and onto the bed behind him, letting your warm hands run over the cool planes of his skin. His eyes follow your movements carefully and you take your time, tracing over every divet, every freckle and mole. You delight in his gasp when your fingers dance over his navel and down to his belt buckle.

You slip off his lap and drop between his legs, your hands continuing their journey along his hips. You plant increasingly hungry kisses above his waistband as you remove his belt and unzip his pants. He leans back on his hands as his breathing quickens, but he doesn’t take his eyes off you.

You’re struck with the irony that the last time you were between Astarion’s legs like this it was to get revenge, to make him feel flustered and speechless the way he always does to you. Now you have him, flustered and speechless, and all you want is to worship him, make him feel warm and safe.

You slide his pants down under his ass, pulling them all the way off so he’s sitting on his bed fully nude. You run your lips along his inner thigh as you palm his growing erection. 

“Ah- wait,” he stammers and you immediately look up and pull back.

“Yes?” you ask, frozen by the fear that you’ve gone too far.

“I want to see you,” he whispers, nudging your cardigan off your shoulder. “All of you.”

It’s hard to believe that someone sitting naked in front of you can make you feel so exposed. You shiver as you drop the cardigan off your back, the sudden exposure to cool air making your nipples poke through the lacy top that Shadowheart gave you. You stand and he watches intently as you unzip your skirt, letting it fall to the floor in a pool at your feet. His expression gives little away, but his cock doesn’t. By the time you’ve removed the black panties, thigh highs, and cami, it stands at full attention. His knees squeeze around your legs and his arms pull you in close to him, pressing his nose against your belly. You card your fingers through his hair and down to his chin, tilting his head upwards.

“Better?” you breathe, and he nods, his eyes round and wide. You bend down to kiss him, slow and languid, before dropping to your knees again. When you pull away his mouth stays open, suspended in the shape of your kiss.

You settle between his knees and lightly kiss the head of his dick. You flick your gaze upward, monitoring his expression as you lazily run your fingers along his shaft. His glasses balance on the tip of his nose as he looks down at you, transfixed by your ministrations. You open your lips slightly, not quite taking him into your mouth yet as you softly cup his balls in your hand. You can hear his breath growing ragged, and he rewards you with an almost inaudible moan when your tongue finally wets his cock.

You wrap your lips around his tip, gently working the underside with your tongue. You run your hands up his thighs, squeezing his hips as they buck into you. You take more of him in, the warmth of your mouth contrasting with the cool, sensitive skin. He groans and tangles his fingers in your hair, a gesture that feels closer to petting than pulling.

You pull your mouth off his cock, wrapping your hand around the now slick shaft. You run your thumb along the slit, and his responding shutter makes you smile.

“Ah- enjoying yourself?” he murmurs, unable to keep his voice steady. You look up at him and drag your tongue along his entire length.

“I am, are you?” you hum, taking him back into your mouth and swirling your tongue around the tip. His leg quivers beside you, his toes curling inward.

“Mmph,” he grunts in assent, his hand twisting into your hair a little more. You slip your hands under his thighs and slide your mouth further down, letting him fill you up. His hips jerk, wanting to thrust into you, and you relax your jaw to let him. His little pants and disjointed moans send a jolt of heat down to your core, and you can feel yourself becoming wet with desire for him. 

You reach down and slip your middle finger between your slick folds, your groan vibrating into him. He hisses and pulls you off his cock and into a fierce kiss. The two of you tumble backwards onto the bed, your hair encircling you like a curtain. You press your bodies together, the smoldering heat spreading into a raging wildfire. He lines himself up with your entrance as you continue your desperate assault on his lips. He slides in with ease and your cry into his mouth accompanies him bottoming out. 

You push yourself up, bracing yourself on his chest as you grind into him. He plants his hands on your hips, thrusting up into you. Your head falls back in ecstasy, your hair cascading down the length of your back. You increase the pace of your rolling hips, each breath growing more voiced as you approach your peak. 

“Oh gods, Astarion,” you babble, his name falling out of your mouth like a prayer. He realizes you’re getting close, he sits up and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into him tight. He latches onto your nipple, flicking his tongue and sucking to send your pleasure to staggering heights. You arch your back into him as your arms hook over his shoulders, brushing your hands against those awful scars. Your hands splay across his back as if to say no one will ever hurt you like that again. 

You pull his face to yours so that you can taste his lips as you crash over the edge. The kiss is broken up by your cries and you can feel his cock throbbing inside you, his grunts in time with his pulsing seed. You stay still and connected as the waves of pleasure ebb and flow and finally settle. The only noise left in the room is both of your heavy panting, and the telltale sound of just your heart pounding.

His hands slide down your back as you carefully pull yourself off him and you shiver as his now-soft cock falls out of you. You kneel next to him and rest your head on his shoulder, and he reaches over to stroke your jaw.

“Thank you,” he hums softly, and you press another sweet kiss to his neck. His scar.

After a moment you let out a contented sigh, then you say, “Well, I should probably gather my things and go, then.” You begin to stand to dress, but his hand closes around your wrist. You turn to him, unable to hide the surprise on your face.

“Or you could… stay. If you want.” He looks up at you through smudged and sweaty glasses and a smile tugs at your lips.

“What do you want?” you ask, and you watch him shift uncomfortably with a question that he’s not used to answering.

“I want…” he begins, hesitant. “I want to watch last year’s Globe production of Much Ado About Nothing with you. You said you like that one, right?” Your ears grow hot as you realize the extent to which he actually paid attention to you, even before you were sleeping together.

“I do, yeah. One of his best,” you say, your voice cracking slightly as you repeat his words back to him. That interaction feels like it was eons ago, when in fact it was less than a tenday. 

He smirks, some of his confident charm seeping back into his demeanor. He scoots back on the bed until he’s resting against the headboard, and then he reaches out to you, inviting you to curl in next to him. You oblige, and he turns on the TV across from the bed, pulling up the pro-shot. You sink in next to him, appreciating how his chest cools your flushed cheek.

A single word gnaws at the back of your mind and you banish it quickly. 

No, that’s the oxytocin talking.

It’s just been a long time since you’ve slept with someone more than once.

He presses a kiss to the top of your head and the gnawing grows more insistent.

…

Fuck.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

I read your post about not letting kudos and hits upset us. I try to think this way but I'm curious about something else. I've written many fanfics for my fandom and they're all "flop". I don't mind that honestly. But then some writers have written only one fic about the ship I do and and it gets hundreds of kudos. How do some writers achieve that when I'm doing the same and it doesn't get the same response. What else can I do?

I’m afraid I can’t give you a definite answer about what you should do or why this person’s work is more popular, but what I can give you are some advice and, from my experience, some reasons that might explain why other’s works receive more hits and kudos.

start with why other writers’ works are more popular when it’s the same characters, same ship, same fandom. there are various factors at play that might be it;

maybe the person already has large audience base prior to their posting about the fandom you’re in, I know a few authors who already have these sorts of loyal readers that would read any work the authors posted even if they (the readers) were not in that fandom.

maybe someone, anyone, decided share the link to this person’s work on Tumblr or Twitter (X) or any social media platform, and it kind of became viral, thus it drew in lots and lots of readers. it could take just one person, didn’t necessarily have to be the author themself, to share the link among the fandom as a recommendation, or maybe a screenshot of one sentence from the fic that they liked, what happened next is that the replies were filled with people asking for the link.

tags and summary are important factors when people are looking for a fic to read. so maybe this person’s work is tagged with the content people were looking for? maybe their summary grabbed people’s attention or curiosity?

these are just what I can think of over the top of my head.

as for what you can do to gain more readers, I’ve never seen your work so the advice I can give will be a general one; I believe the trick lies in summary, tags as well as the format of one’s work.

when it comes to AO3 (I assume it’s your platform?), tags and summary are the main things people use to determine whether or not they want to click on the fic.

tag your content properly, what characters or pairings it’s about, as well as what the readers will find upon reading your work (you don’t have to spoil it, only the general tags that will give your readers an idea of what they’re in for).

summaries are just as important. there are no “rules” obviously, and I’m not telling you or any writers what to do. though a little advice that I personally take is that you use this little summary section AO3 gives you to do anything to make sure it stands out and that people will see it and want to click on it. that means leave “author’s note” out of the summary section. folks, AO3 summary is the first glimpse into the fic itself that people will see prior to clicking on it, most of the time, people look at the summary to see the author’s writing style and if what’s written, plotwise, grabs their interest. personally, when I see an author use “summary” as a place to write “author’s note”, chances are, I will scroll past that fic as I am interested in what the fic is about, not what the author has to say about their opinion on said fic or their personal life or anything (there’s an author’s note section for that) and if I can’t get a glimpse of what the plot is about or what the author’s writing style is from the summary section, then I won’t click on it, and will look for other fic that can get me interested instead.

moving on to fic format, again, I am not telling anyone what to do here. this is only a suggestion, an advice I’ve learned and want to share: when you write your fic, make sure to use line and paragraph spacing. if your 10k word long fic is one long block of text with no paragraph break, chances are, people will back away from it entirely. also, if it’s two different characters talking with dialogues, don’t put all of their dialogues in one paragraph. for instance, a paragraph for character A’s dialogue, then another separate paragraph for character B’s dialogue and so on.

and I think that’s it for my advice? however, I’ll say this again that the secret to truly enjoying your role as a fanfic writer is that you only focus on yourself. write whatever you want for yourself. it doesn’t matter if this person’s work is more popular, because fanfics and fandoms aren’t a competition. you are your main audience. just have fun creating the stories you want to create for you.

[futfemfantasies]

“She’s my daughter too!” - Alex Morgan x reader

“That’s the problem, I don’t think Charlie has ever seen me play for my national team” You take a breath as you fight back tears and loosen you hand around your phone.

“You know I want her with me and the girls” You faintly hear the room door open and close due to being on the balcony. You turn around and see your roommate Steph and best friends Mackenzie (Macca), Caitlin and Alanna.

“She’s my daughter too! My name is on the birth certificate just as much as yours. Hell, she has my last name. I think you forget that sometimes she’s mine too”

Too angry to hear your wife, you hang up and sit on one of the plastic chairs. You don’t see it but your friends give each other a look and Steph decides to go out and comfort you. You breakdown in her arms and the rest come out for support.

“Why d-doesn’t she trust me w-with Charlie?” You ask your friends with bloodshot eyes.

“We aren’t sure what’s going on y/n/n but we all know one thing, you are an amazing mum. Nothing is going to change that” Alanna mentions, putting a hand on your knee.

“Thanks Lanz”

Macca offers to join the four of your friends for a walk and maybe some ice-cream on the way back from the place downstairs. You respectfully decline and the girls leave, giving you a tight hug each. You decide to have a long, hot shower before cuddling up in bed for a quick nap before dinner.

On the other side of the globe, Charlie had woken up hearing your voice on the call. She then proceeded to start crying because she couldn’t see you in the room. Charlie looked everywhere and in all the drawers and cupboards she could open and still nothing. While this was happening, Alex slipped on one of your Matilda’s hoodies and moved to scoop Charlie into her arms.

“Smell like mama” Charlie mumbles into Alex’s neck.

“We can call her later if you want baby” Charlie’s eyes light up and a wide smile spreads across her face.

The pair get ready before going downstairs for breakfast with the team. Alex walks into the meal room with Charlie on her hip, scrunching the yellow, green and grey material tightly in her small hands. Kelley catches sight of the mixed matched outfit and is about to say something before Alex gives her a stern glare. Alex grabs her vegan breakfast and some pancakes for Charlie before sitting with Kelley, Sonnett, Lindsey and Kristie.

“You ditching us for the girls down under Al?” Kelley teases.

“Never. Charlie’s missing y/n and she stopped crying when she had this so” Alex shrugs.

“I think Sam was saying she hasn’t seen Charlie since she could just walk” Kristie mentions earning a slight nudge, as to tell her to shut up.

Alex begins to think how long ago that was and it was at least a year ago, if not more. Alex realises what she’s don’t and she feels sick to her stomach. She pulls Charlie off her lap before taking the hoodie off and giving it to her. Alex grabbed her phone and moved to the side of the room before making a call.

You finish dinner when you see your phone ring from beside your plate. The photo of you and Alex on the beach pops up and you know she’s FaceTiming you. You decide to ignore it for now and call Alex back later. After a quick talk from the manager, you were all allowed a free night. Steph informs you she’s having a movie night with Caitlin and a few others if you wanted to join. You decline as you have to call Alex back.

You eventually get back to your room and you flop on the bed. You press the FaceTime button and put your arm behind you, slightly flexing your tattoo sleeve and muscles.

“Hey ba- oh my god” You laugh and take a screenshot of Alex’s face.

“What’s up Al?”

“I’m sorry for everything. I don’t mean to keep Charlie with me all the time. I’m just so used to you being here with the Wave. I didn’t give it a second thought. I’m really sorry baby”

“Hmm, it might take a little more than that” Alex rolls her eyes and calls Charlie over. She flips the camera and Charlie races over to Alex, as fast as her little legs can take her. You see something in Charlie’s hands and notice it’s your Matildas hoodie.

“She wouldn’t stop crying until I wore it” Alex mentions.

You talk with Charlie and Alex for a few hours until Steph came back in the room. You all talk for a little while longer until you and Steph both yawned.

“Mama and Aunt Steffy go to sleep now?” You looked at the time and realised you all talked for the last 2 hours or so.

“I have to go bubs so I can be ready for my game tomorrow”

“Okay mama. You call before play?”

“Of course I will. Te amo mucho princesa” Alex smiles at the interaction out of cameras sight.

“Te amo Mamá. Bye Aunt Steffy! Love you”

“See you soon baby girl, I love you too” Steph gets up from you bed and mentions she’s having a shower.

“I love you baby. I’m going to make it up to you both when you get home” Alex promises.

“Can’t wait my love”

You end the call and look up at the ceiling with a smile on your face. When Steph comes out of the bathroom, you two wind down before eventually going to sleep.

You finish the Cup of Nations on a high. You not only win the entire cup but get Player of the Tournament and the golden boot after scoring 7 goals in 3 games. You pack your suitcase and put your trophies plus your winners medal safely between clothes. You go down to the lobby and see most of the team there as some as staying behind to see family. Since it’s late at night, the bus to the airport is quite and most people are exhausted from the last 10 days.

After check in, customs and security lines, you and Emily arrive at your gate with 10 minutes to spare. You put your bag in the overhead and get comfortable in the seat. You pull out your phone to send Alex a quick text.

Hola mi amor, I’m finally on my way home. See you and princesa very soon. I love you Ale xoxo

See you soon baby x We can’t wait to see you

A short 18 hours later, you land and feel more tired than before the plane ride. After leaving the plane and getting your suitcase from the carousel, you text Alex to see where she is since Emily already left with her girlfriend.

Hey babe, I’m in the arrivals part. Where are you two?

Turn around x

You follow Alex’s instruction and you see Charlie running towards you. You meet her half way and lift her up in the air before you give her the tightest hug. You don’t realise you’re crying until you feel someone wipe your tears from your cheeks. You open your eyes and see Alex looking at you with sad eyes and a pout sporting her lips.

“No cuddles for me?”

“There’s always cuddles for you my love” You move Charlie to your hip and kiss Alex softly before giving her a hug.

“Let’s get you home”

Alex takes your luggage from beside you and you carry Charlie out to the car. You buckle Charlie in when she immediately grabs your hand tightly.

“Sit with me Mama” You nod and move around to the other side to put your seatbelt on.

The whole journey home consists of you holding Charlie’s hands and you both falling asleep. Alex stops at a red light and asks you a questions and when she doesn’t get a response, she turns around and sees you two cuddled up together. She takes a quick photo before driving the rest of the way home. Alex parks the car in the garage and goes to unbuckle Charlie when you tighten your arm around Charlie protectively.

“Hey, babe it’s just me” Alex reassures you.

“I’ll get her Al”

Alex gets your bag and starts going inside the house. You walk around to Charlie’s side and lift the toddler out of the car seat.

“We home Mama?”

“Yeah baby, we’re home”

You walk into the house with a half asleep Charlie resting on your shoulder, when you feel your shirt getting wet. You calm Charlie down before asking what’s wrong.

“What’s wrong bubs?”

“Missed you Mama” You pout and kiss her temple.

“I’m not going anywhere for a long time baby. I’m staying right here”

y/ninstagram story

[whumpy-wyrms]

cannot stop thinking about how whumpy it must’ve been when i was given the anesthesia and passed out earlier. like even before the laughing gas i was SHAKING and TREMBLING in fear i fucking HATE needles. but i was also smiling the whole time because my fear response isn’t fight flight fawn or freeze it’s just. to laugh. for some reason. anyway after i got the laughing gas i was smiling and giggling even more and also shaking a lot more in both fear of what was gonna happen and also probably the laughing gas. they told me to take deep breaths which i did, still freaking out though. i started panicking even more when they put the IV in my arm, like wow that was horrifying i must’ve looked sooooo scared wooow.. so much fear.. (whumpers you know where to find me). anyway i eventually followed their advice and took deep breaths, knowing that it would make the laughing gas effect me quicker, but i did it anyway because its all i could do.

(more under the cut because i couldn’t shut up and this got long)

and guys. guys. THEN. then i started thinking about Anton and imagining i was his test subject and he was just doing an experiment on me and let me tell you. the way pure CALMNESS just WASHED over my entire body. like before i walked into the room i was like “anton save mee save me anton haha lol”. and then anton DID save me. in a way. but yeah i mean i KNEW that would happen because thinking about anton literally always calms me down anyway but i just thought that was funny lmao. woow

okay so then they injected me with the anesthesia. i don’t think i really felt it. then they put a rubber thing in my mouth to keep it wide open, and i was just thinking “haha wow they gagged me that’s gotta be one of my favorite whump tropes.” i just stared straight ahead (i couldn’t really turn my head anyway with the way the chair was set up), struggling hard to keep my eyes open, breathing really deeply, barely able to form a coherent thought.

i do NOT remember falling asleep. like one moment i was sitting there eyes wide and breathing heavily, staring at the doctors on either side of me, and the next i was like all woozy flopping around in the chair, head lolling to the side as the doctors were telling me to wake up. it was sort of a blur, i had NO idea what was going on at ALL. i remember slurring as i talked, telling the doctors i wanted to keep my wisdom teeth. they laughed and asked why and i just kept repeating that i wanted them to let me keep them (they did let me keep them! i’m gonna put them in a little jar like a mad scientist). then i kept asking for my phone and they gave it to me. they put me in a wheelchair to take me to the car because i could NOT walk, i was stumbling around, completely unable to stand or sit up straight, and when we got to the car i just flopped into the passenger seat like i was DIZZY. and i was also a bit nauseous. blood in my mouth and all that. oh i also had gauze in my mouth which definitely made talking a lot more difficult

so i really barely talked, i don’t think i said much else which i’m kinda happy for because i was high as FUCK and did not wanna ramble about a bunch of weird oc lore to my mom. i KNOW i would’ve talked about anton and/or silas nonstop. but i just went on my phone instead which is when i made all those posts from earlier LOL. those typos were genuinely not on purpose at all. i could not type. i’m being fully serious.

here’s a screenshot from my discord server of me attempting to type “holy shit i can’t type.” and as you can see, it was, well, TRUE

anyway yeah i just curled up in my seat on the car ride home, i wasn’t on my phone much because i was still really tired and it was hard to keep my eyes open and stay awake. the car seat was leaned back really far so i was laying down and could not see out of the car windows (but my eyes were closed so it didn’t really matter). but i just remember feeling every turn of the car and trying to guess where we were driving as if i was a whumpee who’d just been kidnapped and was trying to memorize the directions. as you can tell i knew this situation would be whumpy as fuck and didn’t hesitate to make a bunch of silly connections.

so then we got home and there’s not much else that happened. i just took a lot of pills and washed out my mouth and put more gauze in and then went to sleep. it didn’t hurt that much at all because of. the drugs and stuff. i slept for a long time and woke up feeling back to normal, in the way i wasn’t high af anymore. yeah so now my mouth kinda hurts but i have painkillers so it’s fine. i ate lasagna like 20 minutes ago. i’m probably not supposed to eat lasagna. i did it anyway (i took very very teeny tiny nibbles it was very basil core).

anyway that’s it i think! dunno why i wanted to share this whole experience but i thought it was kinda funny the way i kept finding whump in everything hahaha (like i said, my actual fear response is literally to LAUGH and GIGGLE at everything in fear. this needs to be used more in this community imo. and i think… i have a new oc for that actually…. teehee….. ominous.. very ominous dot dot dots…..)

but really this isn’t as bad as i thought it’d be. it’s gonna suck to eat a bunch of soft food and stuff but overall it’s not bad. at least for me. obviously this was only my experience and everyone’s will be different. i do kinda see the humor in everything whenever i’m in a bad or painful situation so that might also be why this is easier for me, idk! hope u all found this at least a little entertaining because i know i did haha

[jokerislandgirl32]

Hammerheads, Or …The Episode Where Zach Had His Period

Okay, so this is just a little headcanon dump based on observations I made the first time I watched Hammerheads. In this post I will be discussing trans Zach and menstruation/periods, so if this upsets anyone please let me know, I do not mean to cause any harm or hurt to anyone who is trans by making these observations. 

If anything you read is hurtful or harmful to you as a trans person, please feel free to dm me and tell me. Just do so politely, please, I’m truly not trying to cause harm with this post. If anything I wrote is inaccurate, feel free to let me know and I can adjust it, or if it’s downright triggering for you, I will be happy to delete the post.

You can find the rest of the post below the cut ⬇️

My reasoning for this headcanon is honestly the way he’s acting throughout the episode…he’s like me when I’m having my cycle (for my fellow period acquaintances can we all agree they are awful, please tell me it’s not just me)…so this post is considering the possibility that Zach is trans and is enduring…the many joys…of a moon cycle. 

The first thing that I notice about Zach in this episode is that he’s binge eating cookies for over half of his screen time in the episode. And they are not just any cookies, these are cookies with chocolate on them, and from the looks of it half of the chocolate is dark chocolate.

I can’t say it’s helped me or anyone I know who has a period, but I’ve heard dark chocolate can alleviate the pain associated with cramping, and if that is the case, Zach may be experiencing cramps, and he’s trying to dull the pain with a comfort food. 

And, he can probably go through phases in his cycle where he’s eating everything in sight. So, the fact that he’s chowing down on a whole box of cookies makes complete sense to me. Then there is his reaction when the box falls to the ground, crushing and soiling the cookies.

Now, we all know Zach’s a dramatic little guy, but his reaction is over the top dramatic, even for him. The man shoves the tattered remains aside and then flops over in his chair in complete devastation….ummm, you good, Zach? 

When going through a cycle, one’s emotions can be all over the place. So, if Zach really wanted those cookies, and he didn’t get to eat them, having a little hissy fit over the loss of them is not out of the question if his period is wrecking havoc on his body and mind. 

Next, I bring your attention to his body language throughout the episode. Zach is historically known for his lazy behaviors: not wanting to move much and having the Zachbots carry him around, but his movements and actions feel a bit off to me. He is moving and acting as one who is guarded in their actions, namely, one who is in discomfort. 

Of all the screenshots I compiled of Zach from this episode I only have about 10 out of 93 where he is standing straight up. In all the other screenshots, he is either sitting or leaning over/against something. And even when he is sitting and leaning his body language seems tensed. 

While he’s sitting in his hover chair eating his cookies, one of his hands is almost always shown gripping the seat, which seems like another clear indicator of him trying to deal with his pain. 

In the scenes where he’s watching the Zachbots be equipped with their hammerheads, and he’s taking them out to breakdown the Tortuga’s door, he is almost always leaning over a railing. He seems to be holding on with both hands tightly, for pain management, perhaps…and his stance itself seems strange to me because Zach’s usually very straight or angular in his movements/body language. 

Here it’s like he’s curling in on himself, almost trying to get into something of a minor fetal position (I can’t speak for everyone, but again this is something I do/people I know do when cramps are bad because it does bring relief). 

So, maybe I’m overthinking this situation, but from my experience, and from his unique behavior in this episode, I just think Zach was having a horrific cycle. And yeah, that’s it, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. 

And again, if anyone is hurt by this, please let me know, it is not my intention to cause pain to anyone with this post. I may not personally headcanon Zach as trans, but if he is trans or others headcanon him as trans, I feel like this episode and his actions support this argument/headcanon. 

[louisisalarrie]

I can’t believe you didn’t know that niamflopped is zot3! 🥴 You are talking about a certified psychopath !!

Her blogs are 👇🏻

Niamflopped

Zot3-flopped

Glacial-insanity

Thepersian-boy

Marine-styles

Purpletopaz

One-direction-split-up

Harryiconstyles

Put-out-the-dark

Italystyles

Beautiful-harry-styles

And God knows how many more fake blogs that sewer rat is creating every single second.

Notice how all the blogs have something about harry in the url, and if you check, the content is always the same. She uses several blogs so the one she uses the most (zot3) doesn’t get deleted. She uses the side blogs to post screenshots, photos that could be reported. So she won’t risk it with the main one. (Zot3) what a lifeless loser!!! Someone who creates so many diff blogs impersonating other people, needs to be locked into an asylum!! She reblogs herself from those blogs and adds comments as if she’s talking to other harries. This is absolutely disturbing! 💀 block and report that bitch !

I actually heard they are a man in their 50’s from an anon - idk if that’s 110% confirmed but the anon said it was, so don’t wanna start calling out their actual personal attributes but if that’s true… damn.

Thank you for the update on their current blogs. I have most of them blocked but have a feeling they are antagonising me on anon in my inbox, as opposed to actually sending hate now. Just trying to get a rise out of me.

Absolutely delusional and every part of this overall fandom, whether it be ot5s, larries, antis, or solos, have a few very awful and antagonising people that just wanna cause drama. It’s really sad and I hope this doesn’t keep happening - it ruins the fandom for so many folks.

Just takes me back to the 1d days but it was just antis vs larries, really. So it was two sides. Now everyone is in a different corner with a different opinion and it just feels quite shitty.

[o0o0thorn0o0o]

I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I

Did I mention I love him? Haha, but yeah, I adore Hinata. He’s just so babyyyyyy. And every once in a blue moon, I get in this random mood just obsessing over him… which doesn’t last long because there’s, like, no new content, ackkk. I’m just looking at the same stuff over and over again ;~;

So… why not make some? I do get into bouts where I really do want to draw him but not anything substantial since I have other planned artworks. So I decided to draw the bab on his birthday… last year… but those two super late IH posts took up my time… But, yeah, can do that now, finally! (It’s still the 23rd somewhere in the world… Like, Hawaii, at least, I think. Though, I’m still very much cutting it close ^^;;)

You’ll see him pop up every now and again on this blog, but also, there’s another reason I really wanted to post about him, too. See, I made this OC back in middle school who is still very much an active one rn—it’s just, middle school me was shameless and she based him heavily on Hinata, eheh. And I wouldn’t wanna post about my OC without posting about Hinata first. 

I’ll get around to posting about that OC plus his cast sometime in the future, but yeah, it’ll be pretty obvious which one I’m talking about when I do (plus, there’s another OC who is also heavily based on another character—shameless, like I said, eheh—but that one should be pretty obvious, too… Ig the whole main trio kinda has obvious-ish basis, but the third one isn’t as obvious (unless you know who the first OC is based off of, Ig) and he’s more superficially based off another character compared to the other two. That said, they’ve all developed very much into their own characters, mm hmm. It’d be… unfortunate if they didn’t, considering they’ve been in the works since middle school…

Anywho, one last OC-related tidbit! So, while I had based the OCs off of canon characters’ appearances, personalities, and interests, things like birthdays were just based off of the vibes my characters gave me. Which is super funny, ‘cause I never looked up Hinata’s birthday until last year to know when to draw him, and wouldn’t you know it? My OC’s birthday just happens to be a day before his, pffft. I just thought my OC gave off peak summer vibes, so July was the obvious month. And he also seemed like he’d fit an identical double digit birth day, and he’s definitely more of an even than an odd. So… yeah, what a coincidence p, eheh. Ig it’s a really fitting birthday for this kinda character, eh?

Back to Hinata, though. I have very mixed opinions about maid-sama as a whole (I… rant about it every so often…), and I never thought about reading the manga… but I got desperate for Hinata content, so… yeah, I read the whole thing just for him. It was… painful at times… But it was worth it for him… I’ve got so many screenshots, eheh. That said, I don’t plan on ever revisiting it (if I want to revisit anything, it’d probably be the anime, and then, only certain episodes y’know, the ones featuring Hinata, cough, cough), but if I do, it’s to take every single screenshot of Hinata just so I never touch it again, haha. 

It’s so funny, though: Hinata’s not even one of my top five favorite guys (definitely top ten, though, but top five’s positions are set, while the rest of the five flip-flop), but I treat him a lot better than my favorite guys, pffttt. But… like… he’s so precioussssss…

Ahhhhhh, I wish there was more content for himmmm, ahhhhh…!

Anyway, I’m very much sleep-deprived rn, hence you get… all this… I’m too tired to be embarrassed at the moment; sorry, future me.

[loafl]

Completing Explorers of sky with just Magikarp

u/DragonWagon24, has done it. Using just magikarp throughout explorers of sky

This is hands down the hardest run I will ever complete. We all know it: Magikarp is the fucking king of shitty Pokémon. It’s one of the weakest, most pathetic characters not just in Pokémon, but in all of fiction. His very name is synonymous with weakness.

And for the purpose of this run, all of that holds true. His only move at level 1 is Splash. His stats are godawful. And the slightest misstep is liable to end in death again and again and again. Which is extra painful because in order to gain EXP, Magikarp needs to either find Gravelerocks… or use Struggle, which means he has to use all 50 of his Splashes! This makes every attempt even more painful by wasting time, energy and resources just to unlock Struggle! And then Struggle does damage to yourself, which makes Magikarp even easier to KO because his HP is low and grows slowly. Before I’ve actually taken a step, the run is harder than most I’ve tried.

All of this means Magikarp is downright impossible to clear without the Holy Trinity: Warp Scarf, Pass Scarf, and X-Ray Specs. Warp Scarf lets him actually explore the dungeon and gather resources, Pass Scarf keeps him alive, and X-Ray Specs is… just the best item in the game. I’ve had plenty of runs with a combination of 2 of these get smoked on like floor 15. This is the only run I’ve ever had find all 3, so I knew if any run was gonna make it, it was gonna be this one.

I found Warp Scarf early, but Pass Scarf only came up around 35F, while X-Ray spawned around the late 40s. With this incredible combination, I focused on gathering whatever resources I could. The X-Ray Specs gave me information on when and where enemies would attack, so I used that in combination with the Warp Scarf to gather items and avoid trouble. My heart raced as I entered the final stretch for only the 3rd time… with the previous 2 times just getting nuked on 81F. I knew the odds were low. But I didn’t come all this way for another disappointing defeat.

So I locked the fuck in.

I didn’t take chances. I pathed every step carefully, exactly the way I did Pichu so long ago, knowing the slightest mistake would end me. I spawned into a Monster House with Ledian.. but a Quick Seed/Decoy Orb combo delayed Silver Wind just long enough for me to warp out! I knew I’d been blessed. I made it to 91F. Clear of Ledian, I turned my attention to the final sprint ahead of me. 8 floors to go.

On 93F I spawned in a huge room with the stairs, a Politoed, Tropius and Crawdaunt. Politoed used Perish Song, and missed. I saw this and frantically checked my item bag, sighing in relief at the sight of 2 Heal Seeds. I could afford to take a hit, which I ended up needing as I got hit entering the corridor out of the room. I took 2 steps, bit the Heal Seed, and managed to warp by the stairs in the same room. 6 to go.

On 95F I spawned near a Politoed, and knew I had to go for broke. I used a Mobile Orb, my last real defense, and got the hell out of there, finding the stairs in short order. Once i hit 99F I was cheering and screaming like I haven’t in years. I saw the stairs, took the screenshots at the top, and heaved a huge sigh of relief as Magikarp finally flopped to the Arceus Statue.

Pokémon Cleared: 88/494

[astarionfreak]

Days of hedonistic debauchery (1/9)

// Gale x Tessa (Fem!Tav) x Astarion

For Tessa, Astarion coming to stay with her and Gale in Waterdeep has been a dream come true. Even Gale is learning to enjoy the taste of chaos. But nothing can ever really be that simple, can it?

18+ •��NSFW • 4.7K words (1/9) | Read on AO3 (a teaser is available below)

Tags: POV Third Person, Past Tense, Post-Game, Vampire Spawn Astarion, Professor Gale, Canon-Typical Violence, Polyamory, Miscommunication, Emotional Baggage, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Threesome, Vampire Sex, Vampire Bites, Blood, Menstrual Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Double Penetration, Anal Sex, Cunnilingus, Oral Sex, Face-Sitting

“You know exactly how long it takes to get me off, don’t you?” Tessa laughed.

“I’d rather not dignify such a question with an answer,” Gale said.

Tessa snorted. “Of course you do. Whatever, let’s fuckin’ go” She gave Gale another quick kiss before she flopped onto her back next to him.

She kicked off her shorts and had her underwear halfway down her thighs when the bedroom door swung open.

“Darling, you’re bleeding. Is everything alright?” Astarion expertly moved a steaming mug from the crook of his arm to his other hand — so he was holding one in each hand. The scent of freshly made coffee drifted across the room.

“Blood? I’m not . . .”

Tessa glanced down at her underwear and that’s when she saw it. A wet, red, stain letting her know that it was that time in her cycle. “Oh. That’s a bummer.”

“A . . . bummer? For you, perhaps, but certainly not for me.” Astarion flashed her a sly smile. He was shirtless. His usually perfectly-coiffed hair fell around his face in loose, messy rings — evidence that none of them got much rest the night before. “Gale, do you mind?”

“Hm? Oh.” Gale stepped out of the bed with a soft huff and padded over to where Astarion was standing. He took one of the cups from Astarion’s hands — Tessa assumed that one was tea. The other one was coffee, that one would be for her. Astarion didn’t drink either.

Gale sipped it and started walking back to the bed.

Astarion peeked around Gale at Tessa and rolled his eyes. “Darling . . .”

Gale took another sip and turned around to look at Astarion. “Yes?”

Astarion eyed him with a teasing grin. “I know how distracting it can be when your blood flow has been redirected, but perhaps, you could use that brilliant brain of yours for a second.”

“Brilliant?” Gale choked on his most recent sip of tea.

Astarion didn’t move from the doorway. “The curtains, darling. Do you mind closing them?”

“Oh, gods, the sunlight, of course.” Gale conjured a mage hand and sent it flying across the room. “I’m truly sorry, Astarion. I didn’t think.”

With a few good tugs, the mage hand pulled the thick curtains closed, blocking the sunlight completely, before dissipating.

Astarion stepped into the room and put the coffee on the bedside table nearest Tessa. “I can see what had you so distracted.” Astarion’s gaze raked down Tessa’s body, over her flushed chest and hard nipples peeking through her thin shirt, to the delicious mess between her legs. “Now, about your little situation . . ."

Read on AO3.

[chronicallycosy]

The Sims 4; Lovestruck

Oh hi? I bet you didn’t hear this from me first, but the new sims 4 expansion is out, Lovestruck! I am no reviewer, I just like writing up little informal blogs by having a thought dump about my feelings on CAS, build&buy, the world and gameplay. Also, I bought this pack with my own money, and even if I was lucky enough to be gifted from EA, no one could ever take away my honesty. 

Lets start with CAS. I love it. I’m just going to attach a screenshot showing all the new items that I love! If you want to see all items, you can check out all the new items in game by clicking on packs on the main menu and clicking on lovestruck. As shown below, you can scroll through all the CAS and build mode items added! 

Anyway…here are the items that I love and will see myself using! 

If I were to make a tier list, both the earrings, sunflower shirt, ombre oversized shirt and the ombre oversized jumper would be in the S tier. The earrings are my favourite and I love the colour range they come in. I think CAS overall is very solid and the tattoo of the crossing out of names is hilarious. There are no CAS items for kids/younger aside from some of the hairs crossing over. It is a little disappointing as a cute love heart printed jumper for kids for example would be fun. It makes sense they got nothing though given this pack is about adult relationships. 

Alright, onto build mode, again, I’m going to add a series of screenshots of the items I like then talk about my thoughts!

Build mode…build mode…build mode… where do I begin? First of all, the plant selection is chefs kiss, but once again, they have added in a plant where it is two plants joined into one item, WHY? Just let them be placed as individuals!!! I am still mad over the growing together plants too cause that set of four plants is so cute but placing it is a nightmare. Why do the Sims team hate us so much! Also, I am SO glad they added jacaranda trees cause they are one of my favorite trees! They are so pretty.

The new backsplash tile is very pretty but lacks swatches imo. I hope they add more backsplashes in the future. The new animal statues/plushies are so adorable. I love plushies and animal statues in my game so I will be using these a lot. I also love the curtain beads!! They are very hip and cute. The new artwork is chefs kiss and I love that we have new LED wall decals cause I loved the ones from the High school pack! Speaking of High school years, the style of this pack pairs well with Lovestruck! 

However, I am critical of the build mode selection. I wish the giant mirror was placeable on the small wall height. Considering they added no new doors and windows for medium or tall wall height, then we get some giant mirror that can’t even be placed on the lowest wall height kinda ticked me off. I also just wish we had…more. We got a lot of romantic-styled furniture, which makes sense, it is a love pack. However, we got this beautiful new world called Ciudad Enamorada, inspired by Mexico! It feels like we have barely any items in build & buy that represent the culture and style. Build & buy had so much potential here and it flopped. You can also absolutely say the same for create a sim, the clothes lacked representation of Mexican culture. I feel like if the sims are introducing a new world that clearly represents a location, the build & buy and create a sim should be following those representations. 

I think for the reasons above alone, I will die on the hill that this pack should have been a game pack similar to parenthood. The romance systems, the app along with romantic style build & buy and create a sim would have made for a great game pack. I had the same conclusion when growing together came out. I think the world of Ciudad Enamorada hasn’t been done justice and it would have been better suited to a different style of expansion. I think it would have been fine if we had more representation of Mexican culture, there is some, just not enough honestly. 

Whilst I am on the talk about the world. I think Ciudad Enamorada is gorgeous. There are a lot of pretty romantic spots to put down a blanket and get some cute moments. I love that you can travel via the bus stops, I waste so much time with sims running around trying to get home. Overall, there isn’t much to do in the world. I get why it is like this, and it is a common theme among all the words, I just wish worlds were more engaging. As for the separate areas in Ciudad Enamorada, Plaza Mariposa is by far the most gorgeous area. Vista Hermosa is pretty too but it feels like it is missing something. Nuevo Corazon, whilst it is nice to have more penthouses (even though I low-key hate them because taking screenshots on those lots is an awful experience,) that area has like…nothing in it, meh. 

One more thing I want to add, which may be a hot take; I hate the emphasis this pack puts on exercise and health = love. You don’t have to be ripped and the epitome of health to be loveable. 

Okay, I have waffled ALOT. Onto a random thought dump with some screenies…

Yeah…. Justice for the loners, please? I wanna just sit and watch the sky. Alone. 

Summary; Axolotls carry this pack. 

Romantic satisfaction is bleh, this could have been done so much better! Cupids corner is okay but where are all these gallery sims we were promised? All I have seen are the regular townies and the random generated townies. The dates suck, having to go through all the menus just to get to a specific interaction is boring. Especially when you need to complete so many just to get gold, it feels like the gameplay consists of just spamming out socials and doing nothing interesting.

Positives? Axolotls, cuddling is cute, some nice items, the new gift menu is useful, and a lot of the new animations are cute. 

I think I have constructed most of my thoughts? It isn’t a pack you can solely play alone, it is more of a nice background add-on to the game. So if you are looking for an expansion pack that really gives oomf to your game, this pack isn’t it. If you are looking for an expansion pack that adds more to relationships, I would recommend it, but I would actually recommend growing together instead if you are more interested in family gameplay! 

Okay, I think this sums up my messy brain dump! 

Chronically Cosy, aka Georgia :)

[pussyslayer69]

Oh, how i wish to adore you.

This is an original story made by me. Lmk what you think!

Attempt 1 (while listening to Taylor Swift. ‘Bejeweled’)

Eliza was lying down on the large, comfortable couch when she received the message. It was late at night. Eliza was almost falling asleep until she heard her phone ping.

It was her boss.

Subject: Exciting Opportunity: International Assignment

“Dear, Elizabeth.

I hope you're doing well. We have an exciting opportunity for you: a key role in Romania. We believe your skills and expertise make you the perfect fit for this assignment.

This move offers valuable career growth and the chance to contribute to our global success. We're committed to supporting you throughout the process, from visas to relocation logistics.

Let's discuss further at your convenience. Feel free to reach out with any questions or concerns.

Looking forward to hearing from you.”

The mail read. Eliza stared at with for a while, a look of confusion covering her features. Romania? She lived in New York City! Eliza let out a loud groan as she realized what was going to happen. She had nothing left to lose, anyway. Elizabeth stood up from the couch and made her way to the fridge in her apartment… Well, studio.

She felt weird. It was like she was having an out of body experience. Nothing felt real anymore. She stared at the insides of the cold refrigerator and took out a bottle of water. She could feel the cold and wet condensation on the outside of the plastic bottle. The lights were dimmed in her kitchen, making her studio have a cozy atmosphere.

It wasn’t like she did anything do decorate, though. The bare minimum was enough for Eliza. She thought long and hard about the mail, occasionally taking tiny sips of the cold water.

“Fuck…” Eliza muttered under her breath. She was sat on the kitchen counter, and she wasn’t happy about the decision her boss made. She refused to put in her two weeks’ notice, though. Maybe moving to Romania could be a good thing?

Elizabeth quickly shook that thought from her head, deciding it wasn’t worth getting a headache about. She would contact her boss in the morning for more details… But, for now? She was going to sleep.

She walked out the kitchen and flopped down on her comfy bed, falling asleep to the sounds of the city.

Attempt 2 (Hozier. ‘Nina Cried Power’)

Elizabeth woke up due to the sounds of the blaring alarm on her phone. In her sleepy state, she considered throwing the damn thing against the wall. But the rational part of her brain prevented her from doing that. Instead, she dragged her hand out from under the covers and pressed on the ‘snooze’ button. She didn’t have any important things to do, anyway.

Five minutes later, her alarm started going off again. She groaned and pressed the ‘Stop’ button. Shutting the annoying alarm off for good. She grabbed her phone and immediately got blinded by the bright screen. Elizabeth felt like her body took a screenshot. But, alas. Her eyes were fine when she checked her phone again.

It was 09:00. A normal time for Elizabeth to wake up. She worked from home, after all. She liked to start her morning with some self-hating, mad at the universe for letting her live. Oh, why did her heart decide to beat? Hell, she wouldn’t even care if she died right there in her bed.

…

Anyways, she got up and went over to the bathroom. Again, the lights blinded her. Elizabeth didn’t let that stop her and started brushing her teeth. She felt the cold tiles under her toes. It was comforting in a weird way. Eliza looked at herself through the mirror as she brushed her teeth. Damn, her hair was a mess. And where did the stain on her shirt come from? Whatever. She had to shower anyway.

After her shower, she dried off her hair with a towel. Eliza’s hair felt smooth after her shower… And it smelled good. Like cherry blossoms. Eliza put on her clothes. A simple shirt with jeans. The converse she was planning to wear were stored in the foyer. First, she needed food. Eliza hung up her towel and started making her way to the kitchen. She could hear her upstairs neighbor getting ready. She knew they had a cat. Cute kitty.

She saw a box of donuts on the kitchen counter… Would she? Yes, she would. Eliza took one donut out the box and took a large bite. That really satisfied her cravings. The sweet taste of raspberry syrup filled her with joy. She realized it was time she ran some errands since the only edible things in her house were donuts, water, and two week old takeout.

Eliza finished the donut with a sigh and washed her hands to get rid of the powdery goodness. She made her way to the foyer, careful not to step in mystery fluids that were scattered across the floor. The studio was enough for her. For now, at least. She would be moving to Romania soon. Anxiety filled her head with less-than-positive thoughts as she put her fucking shoes on. She grabbed her jacket and wallet before stepping out of her home.

NYC was a bit chilly. No problem. She was used to it. Like any New Yorker, she kept her head down and walked quickly. Eliza was planning on buying some groceries… Maybe some wine, too. She needed it. It depended on the price since everything was so fucking expensive.

The wind blew through her hair, messing it up again. Eliza sighed. She could already feel a headache coming up. Why was being an adult so hard? She just wanted to eat waffles and stay home all day. She quickly made her way to the grocery store and grabbed a basket, checking out the produce aisle. Fruits and vegetables filled her basket. Being 6’2 meant she could easily look over people and spot the carbs. She quickly grabbed some pasta and bread before checking out the snacks. Chips and cookies caught her attention. Eliza decided to indulge. She bought the produce, snacks, and wine. At least the cashier was nice. She couldn’t wait to chug the wine.

Attempt 3 (No songs this time.)

Back at home, she read the mail from her boss again and again. A feeling of anxiety and excitement filled her body. Yeah, this would be a good thing. Romania didn’t seem that bad. Maybe she could visit some castles when she was there… At least, that was what Google told her to do. Eliza closed her laptop and decided to make some tea for herself. She didn’t feel like drinking the wine anymore. Plus, all her friends were busy and drinking alone wasn’t that fun. Green tea always hit the spot. She set some water out to boil and waited, flopping down on the sofa. She grabbed her phone and opened Tinder, looking for some interesting people.

“The fuck? This bitch is married… Yikes.” She mumbled, swiping left. She wasn’t looking for any threesomes or flings. Not that she was looking for anything serious, but she wouldn’t go for married women.

“Dude? Seriously?” She asked herself with an eyeroll as she saw a man. Eliza specifically set her preferences to women after a few less-than-pleasant experiences. She sighed and closed the app again. No one interesting today… Or tomorrow, probably. Maybe it would be better if she deleted the fucking app.

DING!

She heard the ding of the water. It was finally boiling. She got up, grabbed the mug, tea, and water. Perfect tea. Eliza took a sip, forgetting that the water was still super-hot. She swallowed the tea with a pained expression, burning her tongue in the process. This is when she decided that iced tea was better. She looked out onto the city, questioning her existence. Who doesn’t have an existential crisis once in a while? It was all part of getting older. Eliza did think she looked pretty cool, though. With a mug in her hand. Like some supervillain coming up with a masterplan for world domination.

Bzz-bzz.

Her phone buzzed. She was pulled out of her thoughts when she saw the notification. It was her boss again, informing her of the opportunity. Some boring details. All she knew was that she had to be at the airport. Tommorow evening. What the fuck? Eliza groaned. She knew this meant she had to start packing everything up, which she did not look forward to. While she didn’t have a lot of stuff, she still knew this would take at least 2 hours. She would have to call a moving company tomorrow. Why did her boss send this email THIS late? Whatever. She made good money. That’s all that mattered. An IT job did pay pretty well. She finished the tea and began packing..

Attempt 4

The packing took way longer than expected. She finished at 1AM. Eliza didn’t even know she had THIS much stuff. She already brushed her teeth and got ready for bed. Well, this was her last night in New York. It was a weird feeling. Maybe she was a little sentimental. She had so many good memories here… It felt weird to just let that go. But, she decided to look on the bright side. Romania would also give her good memories. She just had to stay positive.

As she rolled around in the silk sheets, she realized finding sleep was near impossible. Her thoughts were too loud. The sounds of the city brought her no comfort this time. Eliza realized she would miss this… A little. Maybe she didn’t want to say goodbye. She sat up in bed, looking outside. The city that never sleeps. It was true. The city was still bustling with life. Hell, she probably knew some of the people who she could see walking down the busy streets. The skyscrapers, the view, the food. She would miss it. Especially the street food. Fuck, the burritos were good. Did they even have those in Romania? Did they have tacos? What if they didn’t even have good wine?

Maybe that was a little far-fetched. It was Europe, after all. Of course, there was going to be nice drinks. Possibly even better than the ones she drank now. The good thoughts brought her comfort this time. She laid down in bed again, now looking forward to the new life she was going to have. She would definitely adopt a cat there. And live in a house. Alone. With no noisy neighbors to disturb her

Maybe this wasn’t going to be that bad…

(Hi! This is my first ever post on Tumblr and my first ever story. I'm really happy to share this with the world. More chapters are coming soon!)

[carlos-in-glasses]

10 Things for 2023

Tagged by @cinnaluminum​ - thank you! I have no idea who to tag and I’m shy so please just take me as this tagging you if you see this and want to do it :)

My answers are under the cut beneath this Tarlos screenshot I edited for my hereby linked fic.

A fic idea you want to write (or read): I have an idea for a Tarlos honeymoon fic and a fluff fic (both are newly developing in my head) and I want to keep digging into Carlos and his relationship with his dad and his teen-self coming out. A crossover fic where TK and Carlos meet Captain Holt and Kevin from Brooklyn 99 appeals to me greatly but I don’t feel confident about writing Holt – I’m not funny enough! – but I’d like to try at some point as it would certainly push me creatively. It might be a huge flop but shall I give it a go? Eeeeehhhhahhahj I don’t know.

A place you want to go: The Pacific Northwest – I want to see redwoods**. My dream is for a walking holiday somewhere rainy and green. I’d also love to go back to NYC and do all the things I didn’t get to do when I went before. Greece for a beach holiday. Iceland looks stunning. Galway in Ireland and a ferry to Aran, where I’d buy an Aran knit from a little old lady who has perfected the honeycomb stitch. I’ve never been to Paris or Amsterdam. I’d also like to see cities in Belgium. But it’s all such a faff now. Bloody Brexit! I’d love to do a tour of the Scandinavian countries. 

A book you want to read: The Overstory by Richard Powers (** I love trees).

Something fun you want to do: An old school boozy brunch with my sluttiest friends – I’ve hardly done this since covid. But really the thing I’m finding most fun is writing Tarlos fic and spending time on my Tarlos-centric side tumblr, so I just want to keep this up!

Something you want to make: I wish I had a talent for textiles and could knit my own jumpers – I have a vast collection of cosy jumpers and a homemade one would be so satisfying.

A habit you want to start: I’d like to do a Rafa and drink more water instead of just buckets of tea. Also is it possible to get into the habit of being less shy?

Something new you want to try: New recipes (that are quick to make and nutritious). I tend to stick to the same dishes.

Something you want to finish from 2022: I feel like I’ve lost the momentum of sending poems to literary journals so I need to pick up where I left off with that.

Something you want to stop doing: Thanks to an abusive boss I had a few years ago (and I don’t use the term abusive lightly) I have a complex where I think I’m the only person who makes mistakes/ I’m deeply stupid. I’d like to stop thinking that way and develop a healthier mindset around being a flawed human being. Like, I might be a huge dumbass but at least I’m not evil. That kind of thing.

Something you want to keep doing: Writing, exercising, going for nature walks, visiting art galleries, going to the cinema – the quiet things that benefit me most mind and body.