#and i feel like in an effort to salvage / prevent damage from being done / prevent him from regretting anything in your relationship

[desk-of-the-magicat]

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Draim, Jak, Mini!!!

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(Oh boy this ended up being rather long aaaaaaaaa Thank you for sending! @dragonwithgoggles )

Draim

Pen scratched lightly over paper, leaving a trail of ink behind it’s path. Draim watched only for a moment before making the next mark, he didn’t need to check back over this part. He had finished the work he was here to do some time ago, and was now catching up on some of his own. The final corrected ledger sat under a plate of half eaten freshly made cookies and Draim sat up straight in his chair at the kitchen table to stretch out his back. He didn’t mind this sort of work.

A sound pulled his attention away from the papers. Thunder rolling through the passing storm around them had caused one of the little ones to stir, and Draim looked over at the pile on the chair.

Cozy against the cold temperatures brought with the storm, was the Seacat family. Well, the corner of the Seacat family that Draim knew anyways. They were all piled together even though they had other places they could have laid around the living room. The kiddos, Celeste and Tello, were wrapped safely in their parents arms. Kel, their mother, gently squeezed Tello’s hand in her sleep to calm him from the rumble of the storms. It seemed he was sound asleep again. Meanwhile, Jak, their father, bore the weight of all the others piled on top of him while holding Celeste over his heart. How comfortable this arrangement truly was, was beyond the magicat’s knowledge, but they did look happy.

Draim carefully picked up another cookie from the plate, and held it by the edge with his teeth while he pulled the ledger back over to double check his work. Kel had suspected Jak was getting charged too much for the enchantments on his fleet, and during this rare time while a passing storm prevented them from leaving port as scheduled, Draim had visited to check for them. Her suspicions were correct, and Draim provided the correct estimates as well as contacts for each to resolve the discrepancies.

His corrections dotted the logs here and there, and once satisfied again after the quick look over, he placed the book back in it’s spot and finally enjoyed his cookie.

No, Draim didn’t mind this sort of work at all… and some day, he would miss it more than he ever thought possible.

Jak

The fading light and the increasing pressure on his lungs made Jak’s search more difficult as he descended down into the depths with the still sinking ship. He had gone diving with his mother since a young age, as was a Seacat tradition to do to adjust to their blessing of the sea, but this was much different. Ships born of the Seacat shipyards were gifted with a soul mark of their very own. They were alive in their own ways and this ship knew her fate. Her captain had abandoned her to conditions that could have been salvaged. This was only her third trip across the waves. Jak could feel this sorrow pressing on his chest, heavier than the water now around him. She was to be lost to the dark depths below, in exchange for the coin of twisted men on shore. It was unbearable.

It was with this feeling that Jak had leapt from the fleeing lifeboat with the heaviest of supply packs he could hold before the ship’s crew could grab him. Jak knew it was tradition to strike or salvage the mark, and this had not been done. It must be done!!

From the darkness below and with the fleeting light of the world above, Jak spotted a loose line from the top mast in the growing darkness. From the moment his hand caught the line, Jak could feel the cries from the heart of the ship. Catching a piece of her hull floating past and tucking it under his arm, Jak continued to search in the darkness. He passed below the deck, and further still until he saw it. Glowing as if a burning ember, the delicate lines of the ship’s soul mark. It almost looked like a flower.

With the piece of hull still under his arm, Jak reached down with both hands to reclaim the mark in hopes of transferring it. Somewhere in his mind he knew the level of skills needed for such a task were far beyond his own, but he knew in his heart he had to try. The soul mark flashed in response to his efforts, and the whole sea became as if made of fire.

The broiling water sent a torrent of bubbles rushing out around Jak’s hands and up past his face. A yell escaped him, along with the precious air he had been holding onto during his dive. The burning spread up his hands, to his arms, and a fear not wholly his own started to overtake him. Just as he was about to black out, a sudden wave of cold passed through both the body of the ship and his own frame.

Everything froze and became still. Peaceful in its state. A pair of hands gently pulled Jak away from the ship. The soul mark, which shone as a calm sun set in his fading vision, rested upon the board still tucked under his arm. Eventually, the darkness took him...

Jak woke up at his desk with a bit of a jolt. The pen leapt from his hand, skipped across the ledger and came to a rest beside the stack of logbooks in front of him. As if still stuck in the memory of his childhood, he looked down at his hands. Fingerless gloves still covered most of the markings left behind by the healers, and he opened and closed his hands to reassure himself once more that no lasting damage was done. It was just a distant memory. The Lily’s hull made a quiet murmur as the schooner gently glided over the waves, rolling the pen back across the desk towards him as she went. Jak let out a small chuckle to himself, what an odd time for such a memory, and caught the pen before it rolled away once more.

Behind his chair, above the windows looking out to the sea, sat a familiar ink drawing of the Lily's soul mark. In the lantern light the ink shimmered like that of a flower made of embers, burning bright once again.

Mini

An endless flight while being lost over the perpetual twilight of the wild mists was suddenly cut away by a sudden brightness and the sounds of rustling papers. Mini woke to the dawn’s light that managed to pierce the mists, the freshly made gaps in the trees, and the hole in the roof above her.

Mini blinked, and sort of remembered that she had plummeted from the sky. Something crunchy had broken her fall… so it was a roof? Way out here? Looking to the side, it became apparent she was resting on a faded red couch in some sort of a living space. If one could call this a living space by the amount of books, bottles and papers strewn across the place. Mini sat up, and noticed her arms were covered in bandages stained blue and sparkling in the light. The fall had reopened her wounds from the last job she was returning from… Who would bandage such a being as herself?

“Ah hah, finally you awake!” Said an overly chipper voice, as if an answer to her internal question. “Admiring your work, eh?”

Looking over to the source of the geeting, Mini focused on the figure that had seemingly emerged from a door hidden behind one of the piles of books. Had her trip exhausted her so much that she didn’t even notice this person approaching?

“Hello there~” Waved the tall Muln of grey fur with black stripes. They grinned with a child like glee, which seemed mismatched to their matured fashion of a vest and lab coat. In their hands was a tray of food. “Welcome to my labs! I am Graham Roo. You fell through my roof!”

“Oh.” Mini’s face flushed slightly, as she moved to get up. “My apologies, I-”

Graham stopped Mini’s movements by placing the tray of food on her lap as soon as she was sitting up. “No worries, no worries! My apologies for the bandages, I wasn’t sure what would stop your wounds.”

“Ah…” Mini looked from the hearty meal to her bandaged arms. She hadn’t seen such gestures in such a long time, yet she knew she would recover without both in time. It was slightly overwhelming to suddenly have both again. “Thank you, but these aren’t really necessary for me to-”

“Do they ever heal? Your wounds?” Graham asked, cutting Mini off again. Their voice remained calm, curious, and delighted to have a guest to be curious about. “I am guessing from surviving that fall, you're some sort of immortal, yeh? But you're covered in such marks! Does your family know how hurt you are?”

Mini was silent, did her fall undo some of her form? Was her true self showing through somehow? How the salt were they learning such things about her! Graham seemed amused by the face Mini made in reply, one that she could only guess was of alarmed confusion when looking back.

“Well, never mind! I won’t tell them. Do eat up, little immortal!” Graham smiled warmly and patted Mini on the head. “Even if you do not need food to live, it is great for the soul! We’ll figure out your wounds when you are done.”

With that, Graham Roo spun on their heel and vanished back through the book hidden door they had came in from. Mini sat there in mild shock for a moment. D-Did they just pat her head?! Mini shook herself to dismiss the mixed feelings of all of this. She would most likely be leaving as soon as she was able, back to answering those who called for help. But for right now… Mini picked up the soup from the tray.

What an odd individual to encounter, so deep within the wild mists.

[sepublic]

Something that I do think is very delicate and very good work the Owl House crew is doing is balancing the thematics of when characters actually mess up versus surviving and being scared. Amity is a good example. Amity bulling Willow and the burning of her memories - very bad, with problems happening and the narrative tags her on that. It is distinctly shown as bad. Her not fighting her parents - carefully neutral. It's not a good thing but it's not a moral failing.

I think that same treatment might have also happened with Lilith actually. Her cursing Eda, nearly killing Luz and general not being a good person? When did she actually succeed at anything this season? But her attempting to hide her betrayal from Belos? Lilith is a coward so it's not a good thing - but in contrast to how that fed into Eda's curse and everything else... Nothing additional is added on to events for the cowardice. Just the already present ramifications of the betrayal Nothing more

-

           It ties into yet another major theme of this show; About how the system can be incredibly skewed towards people, and sets individuals and groups at each other’s throats just to survive! Indeed, a lot of people ARE forced, or at least encouraged and enabled, to do terrible things just to get through in life… Lilith did claim that she and Eda came from humble beginnings- And given how presitigious the Emperor’s Coven is framed, membership there could be seen as a means of escaping poverty for some!

           Of course, individual accountability, as I’ve said before- It IS a thing, and even if you had reasons and the system was definitely enabling you… You’re still guilty, and one must acknowledge this! Amity acknowledges, maturely, that she was too harsh to Willow… But unfortunately, she’s a bit too harsh when she blames herself for not outright defying her parents, like she’s not a little kid who’s desperately trying to survive abuse!

           It leads into this question of where you draw the line, of someone just trying to survive and doing the most reasonable, pragmatic thing… And when even if they WERE doing what was best for them, they still screwed someone over and hurt them? Even if someone were to cross that line… Well, it doesn’t ALWAYS have to be impossible to fix things, or at least make them better! We see that with Lilith…

           And it gets to this theme of addressing the systemic cause and root of an issue! That sure, these people are still to blame… But in the end, punishing them isn’t productive, and while getting them to change their behavior helps; More people are gonna keep doing bad things if the system is still around! That in the end, it’s everybody’s top priority to dismantle an inherently oppressive and corrupt system! THAT is the main target, that’s the source of it all; And once you take it out, you can properly focus on mending those who HAVE been hurt and/or encouraged by the system… Without having to worry about more issues coming, further down the line.

           It’s kind of like how Luz is someone who gets to the ‘root’ (ba-dum tsss) of the issue between Amity and Willow, instead of just letting Amity speedrun through the damage and going back to how things adversarially, or at least neutrally and painfully, were- Luz says NO, we’re discussing why you and Willow severed ties, and for both your sakes, we’re confronting this! Even if you won’t be friends again, it’s still going to be better than what’s been going on beforehand… And it’ll probably mean that you won’t hurt other people for similar reasons, and Willow herself won’t be in as much pain!

           In contrast, Lilith is a character who doesn’t tackle the root cause of an issue… She instead focuses on symptomatic things because that’s easier for her! She doesn’t really consider why she cursed Eda, or at least tackle the cause of this, her own insecurity… Instead, Lilith just keeps deprecating herself! She doesn’t consider the root cause of Eda being distant with her, Lilith just focuses on the fact that Eda IS and tries to incentivize her sister to join the Emperor’s Coven, without actually reflecting on her support for such a corrupt group!

           But as you said; While Lilith is definitely to blame for a LOT, the Coven System isn’t exactly helping issues either, and laid the foundations for her sins. And sometimes, the way the system is set up… You can’twin, it’s a lose-lose scenario. No matter which Magic Track you choose, you’re still losing most of your magic; If you choose to be a Wild Witch and embrace free magic and individuality, you’re also persecuted! And if you join the Emperor’s Coven, you become a corrupt enforcer and a covenscout!

           The most people can do is just… Lose as little as possible. Minimize losses. That’s what Luz and the others did in the Season Finale, right? Because in the end… They lost a lot of things! They lost Luz’s way back home and her contact with her mother… They lost all of Eda’s magic, and most of Lilith’s! Luz says it herself, she lost… But then, she may as well ensure that while her own losses are minimized, Belos’ are maximized. If Luz can’t win, she may as well try to take the system down with her. Sometimes you can’t always ask for more, sometimes you just have to hold onto what you have, and appreciate it… And Luz is someone who already does this anyway, so it hurts to see this happen to her!

           With Lilith, it’s a bit more karmic as she still needed to address her support of Belos and his corruption; But even then, it’s worth noting that openly defying the Emperor himself has a lot of consequences that she’s intimately aware of. Even if you’re critical of someone for doing bad things to survive, in the end, sometimes you just don’t want them to keep them suffering… Because wasn’t suffering the reason why so many people did so many terrible things? Tearing down what others have or gained isn’t productive, but building things up IS…

           Of course, sometimes- The only thing to do is tear down! Specifically, the corrupt system that caused all of this… Whether Belos gets to survive and change for the better is irrelevant for now, because the Coven System hasto go! There is no keeping it around, and maybe there IS making it better, as Lilith may have aimed to do… But really, the only way to improve upon the Coven System is to delete it entirely, or reform it well past recognition!

           In the end, it’s for the best of a person to tackle their own issues; But sometimes, you just can’t bear to be too harsh or critical on them, for not being their absolute best! Sometimes a person not hurting others is enough… And it’s why people like Luz, who are so productive, can help people! Luz recognizes a problem and KNOWS it’s bad and treats it as such, and is intent on keeping it from ever happening again… But she also recognizes that holding a grudge isn’t necessarily going to make things better!

          Sometimes you have to focus on what you DID manage to at least do, or not do (such as not hurting someone). Give yourself some space to breathe, because even if what happened was bad, you need to at least give yourself a little credit because you’re just trying to survive in a system that’s skewed against you! And once you’ve caught your breath… As we see with encouragement from people like Luz; THEN you can focus on improving things! Every little step and bit of progress helps, don’t be TOO critical for not immediately fixing things, or doing what others have done.

          As long as you make the intent and effort to be better or at least stop doing worse, and then work from there… It’s good. Because sometimes, you can’t make things better, and can’t improve on them, nor hold onto what you already have… Sometimes, all you can do, as seen with Amity and how she handled Willow in the past- Is try to minimize your losses. And know that while what happened is bad, it’s important not to be too critical of oneself, and to ultimately focus energy into eventually fixing things, or at least finding an opportunity to do so… Or again, managing to salvage and protect what you DO have; Which is imperative for Amity, as she really needed to learn to at least protect her own sense of self-worth.

           Sometimes, all you can ask of yourself or a person, is to survive… And while what happened was indeed objectively bad, maybe the person themselves isn’t too terrible… Or at least, there’s room for understanding, and using that understanding to tackle the root cause of the issue, even if that understanding won’t necessarily lead to forgiveness. Mostly, it’s better to just focus on what productive things you can do- And when the chance comes to make things better, as seen with Lilith, or Amity… You better take it, because you don’t know if another chance is ever coming around!

          You’d better take that chance, if you really DO feel bad about what happened, even if you did ‘have no other choice’, because that means instead of beating yourself up or trying to reset what can’t be undone, you’re instead focused on preventing more incidents and tragedies from coming! And in the end… Is that not enough, or at least all you can do? Just as Eda can’t repair or undo her trauma in life, nor seize that education she deserved… The least she can do is ensure that people like Luz at least get to have that missed opportunity!

          If you can’t help yourself, you may as well help somebody else…! Eda or the Bat Queen can’t erase what was done to them, but they can at least pave the road so others later down the line can have something better, and never experience what they had to suffer. It’s just how Luz is someone who can’t undo her past ostracization from society; But she can work to change the system so that nobody else has to feel alone, nor left out! It’s because she went through terrible things that she’s so insistent on others being excluded from such experiences, and it goes to show how Luz really DID learn from what happened- Even if she shouldn’t have gone through it to begin with! Really, you just gotta work with what you have, even if it’s not ideal.

[uwua3]

hi! i really like your work, your sakuya oneshot made me emotional ;w; may i request headcanons for sakuya with an s/o who likes to make things for him? stuff like... knitting sweaters, making friendship bracelets, etc? i think he deserves to get spoiled !

aaaAAAAAAA thank you so much!!! i hope you’re feeling calm n collected now~ hopefully, it didn’t overwhelm you too much! but THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS !!!!! sakuma sakuya is my favorite boy ever so writing for him makes me soft 🥺 best boy deserves to get spoiled ugh your galaxy brain i love it!!! ♡

summary: sakuya had everything planned and figured out, but everything still went wrong...

author’s note: today is the LOVE TRAIN!!! choo choo!! i love ~ love ~ so this was super fun even if it’s outside of my comfort zone for so much fluff! this definitely got off the rails at the beginning, but i swear your prompt is fulfilled half way through! i just love LOVE!!! i love sakuya!!!!! i love ♡ LOVE ♡ that’s it

word count: 2,716

music: some – soyou & junggigo, say so – doja cat (to me, sakuya is the embodiment of the jpn 80s city pop vibe)

spoiled!

🌸🌷 sakuma sakuya

sakuya started from nothing and worked hard for everything that was his, never giving up and always persevered against all odds

so it wasn’t a big surprise when the moment sakuya realized you were the person he thought of when reciting his romantic lines, he made it clear he liked you

(luckily, masumi had quick reflexes and caught the script before it fell into the river. sakuya was too busy having the most lovestruck, dreamy smile as he started off into the horizon, saying, “i like them. i really like them.”)

(“about time, you big sap.” masumi handed the packet back, but he looked just as content to see his best friend come to the realization. if only director felt the same way... sigh)

sakuya started being more direct in the most sakuya way possible, initiating planned dates that he just called “hang–outs”

(yeah, they were all definitely dates)

it wasn’t until sakuya asked you to come over at a very specific time to the dorms that you felt like something was going

you wouldn’t find out why until it was operation: ask you out, you got this sakuya! (abbreviated to go sakuya!!! on the labelled binder he had)

he finally asked you out when his heart told him the timing was perfect! sakuya had every tiny detail planned and laid out, presenting it at the very urgent scheduled meeting to his spring troupe members

sakuya was a true leader, he had prevented anything from going wrong and took extreme measures to make sure tonight was perfect

so when you confirmed you would come over soon, sakuya felt his nerves kick in as he launched himself into the living room, ordering everyone to get out (but very politely)

“hi, um. guys? could you leave? for the night?” sakuya shyly requested (he was so impatient though, he wanted to tell you he liked you already! it had to be the best for you!)

confused, everyone halted their afternoon activities as tsuzuru’s big brother instincts made him take over and explain the dilemma at hand, although, not well

(everyone got even more confused, what the hell was tsuzuru talking about? something about the perfect violin music? the 90s disney movie ambience? taking every comforter in the residence for a fort?)

itaru sighed, stepping up to the plate. he wasn’t taking time out of his video game time for nothing

“in other words, sakuya needs to ask someone out before he explodes from his lovey–dovey feelings. he needs the room for his date.”

(citron burst into tears, dramatically sinking to the floor as sakuya hurried over with hugs, genuinely worried for his friend. “sakuya~ you are growing up so fast! you are such a good boy!!!”)

even though he didn’t want to ask for help, the whole company automatically ignored him and went to go assist him in decorating

with a couple of funny comments here and there about why he was going out more and his literal heart eyes

(“oh look at sakusaku in love~” azuma pulled on sakuya’s cheek, everyone gushing over sakuya’s blush and his bright eyes as he thought about you. he was so passionate about you, just like acting!)

but the jokes were reserved for another time because their leader needed their help. it was time to repay back the favors sakuya always did for them, he did deserve a night of just romance!

he deserved the world for being such a good person

the main lights were turned off. twinkling fairy lights were pinned up to the top of the walls. red tablecloth was put over the main table. food was placed on a silver platter sakyo only reserved for very special occassions. proper plating was set up with every type of utensil possible (even a salad fork, there was no salad). the projector was set up behind the sofa. a comfy, elaborate pillow and blanket fort took over the whole sitting area. rose petals decorated the entryway and aromatic candles filled the room with love. tonight was going to be perfect

spring troupe raided the costumes department to quickly make waiter–styled outfits for the night (banri wasn’t allowed to help the moment he held something animal print up). sakuya let taichi clip on his bowtie and yuki check the measurements of his new formal wear. running by, homare dropped a fresh rose into a vase in the middle of the dining table before going into a verse about young love. omi finished up the delicious spaghetti, due to muku giggling about lady & the tramp and sharing a noodle. everyone put in the effort to get the volunteers ready for the biggest act of sakuya’s life

“everyone, three cheers for sakuya and his potential partner tonight!” tsuzuru led the group chant as sakuya stared at himself in the mirror, grinning as he willed himself to take a deep breath. he had this in the bag, tonight was going to be perfect

as sakuya stood in the corridor after the preparations, it felt like he was backstage before a major performance. the butterflies in his stomach were going crazy, he was so excited to see you

food? check! music? check! decorations? check! perfect outfit? check! everyone ready for their cues? check! flowers? che—wait...

before sakuya could have a minor, tiny meltdown over forgetting a very essential part of his plan, tsumugi ran back inside covered in dirt as he gracefully passed a sweet boquet with a light pink ribbon tied around the stems. it was so thoughtful, sakuya almost teared up right then and there

“this one means confessing a crush,” tsumugi said, pointing to the abundance of daisies before taking his leave, whispering good luck on the way out. tasuku waved, sporting a thumbs up

juza held hisoka up with a serious, but supportive nod. tenma winked, enough said

sakuya smiled, he had such good friends!

the common room in the dorms was evacuated as the other spring troupe members were hiding in the kitchen, acting as servers to the very exclusive mankai restaraunt. the clock struck 8pm as kamekichi flew by, closing the curtains in the process just like they discussed

sakuya heard a knock on the front door. that was his cue; sakuya moved to stand by the classy table as he heard itaru’s business voice greet you professionaly. he almost giggled at the confusion in your voice before itaru led you to the kitchen, a shocked look on your face as sakuya pulled your chair out

“you look beautiful.” sakuya honestly admitted, feeling his cheeks flush when you looked away with a smile. sakuya pushed your chair in as he went back to the other side, gently taking your hand as he tapped on the table three times. at the sign, he heard masumi start playing his classical violin in the background

phase 1: get you to sit down (check!)

“thank you, i don’t know what to say!” you stammered, looking around at the transformed scenery as tsuzuru walked in, bowing at you two before placing two menus down. there was really only one thing on the menu, but it was in some fancy cursive font so it was acceptable

“would you like to get started? or should i give you a few minutes?” tsuzuru questioned, having his notepad at ready with a black pen as he followed the script without problems. sakuya watched as you stared at the menu, unaware of what to do next

improv time! sakuya immediately ordered two servings of spaghetti, knowing it was the only thing he had planned with two cups of water (tsuzuru almost broke character when he almost reached a hand out to ruffle sakuya’s hair, pretending to stretch instead)

“certainly, sir. enjoy your time at mankai!” tsuzuru took his leave, going to wait his specific allocated time of 5 minutes before coming back. you looked at sakuya, his face starng back into yours with a fond smile

“thank you for coming—” sakuya started but was cut off by a very loud scream. a very citron–sounding scream. following the shriek, the sound effect of glass smashing on the floor and the wet slap of noodles was very clear. the violin cut off with an awful note, making you wince as you pulled your hand back

phase 2: eat spaghetti (oh, crap)

silence. then—

“OH MY GOD, CITRON!” tsuzuru yelled, shuffling open the script sakuya handed out. citron began apologizing profusely, not realizing you and sakuya were sitting in disbelief and uncertain about what was going to happen next

“ah, this was not GJ... press f in the chat.” itaru commented monotonously, offering a very sarcastic clap. “shut up!” masumi tried to salvage the situation, but the damage was already done

it wasn’t until you heard a muffled sigh that the boys stopped fighting. sakuya tried hiding his face as he sunk lower in his seat, holding his head in his hands

“i’m... i’m so sorry!” sakuya apologized, trying to form a coherent sentence without his voice cracking from embarrassment. the spring boys felt awful, quickly trying to clean up the mess and turn this date around the right way

but you smiled, standing up to put your hand on his shoulder as he tensed. were you going to leave? this had to be the worst date ever! you were too nice, you were trying to spare his feelings—how embarrassing!

“saku, it’s okay.” you comforted, bending down to look him in the eye. sakuya nodded, wiping his nose as he blinked away his frustrated tears. i must look so immature, sakuya pouted, trying to appear as calm as possible. but inside, he was screaming. how could have this happened so early on? he did everything!

“no, i wanted tonight to be perfect because i wanted to ask—” sakuya felt your hand guide his face to look at yours, your fingers gently holding onto his chin. you smiled

“will you be my boyfriend, saku?” you asked, seeing his face go blank before shooting out of his seat, almost knocking you down as he started jumping up and down

“yes, oh my god, of course!” sakuya composed himself, rubbing the back of his neck as he settled down from your laughter. sakuya instead picked you up, spinning around as he couldn’t help but laugh along with you

“oh my god, do you really like me?!” sakuya couldn’t believe his ears, you liked him even after this whole disaster of a date!

(this would be the start of the best dates ever as long as sakuya was there)

“no one has put so much effort into something for me like this before, you’re one of a kind.” you truthfully said, putting your hands on his face as he lowered you to the ground after losing the adrenaline rush

before you could connect your lips to his, you smelt a floral scent in your face and leaned back to see him panicking with a boquet of daisies

(you would soon learn sakuya was planning something very, very special for the first kiss. it didn’t go wrong, that time)

“uh... this is for you! please accept them!!!” sakuya thrusted the boquet into your hands and the rest of the night was yours to share

(sakuya kicked the spring members out, pushing them out of the door and promising to give them a huge rant later on. it wasn’t much, though, just a “i’m not angry, i’m just disappointed” speech that had no merit since he couldn’t stop smiling)

after that, you accepted sakuya and all of life’s mishaps, disasters, and unfortunate events that seemed to follow him despite his best efforts to do everything right

even though he loved just as much to spoil you rotten by spending quality time together, you always looked forward to getting the upper hand and surprising him thoughtful gifts!

sakuya hated it when you spent money on him, always taking the gift but trailing after you like a lost puppy trying to pay you back

(the kid even tried sneaking in cash when you weren’t looking. sakuya’s acting skills were useful when he pretended like he had no idea where a random $20 came from!)

(he later got excited seeing the same lucky bill on the sidewalk during a park walk, not noticing it was the same exact one he tried giving to you)

once you realized pricey, store–bought presents weren’t the way to go and only made sakuya feel guilty, you resorted to hand–made items that had your name all over it

you loved sewing! you even stole sakuya’s worn white hoodie with “SPRING” on it, embroidering lovely cherry blossoms around the words and at the end of the sleeves

you hid your initials + S.S. on the inside of the spot right over his heart (sakuya wouldn’t find it until one day, he was about to flip it inside out for laundry and was found cradling the fabric with happy tears sitting at the base of the washer)

(he wouldn’t move and masumi had to send you a picture of what a wreck your boyfriend was — “come get him already, he doesn’t have clean clothes”)

when you gave it back to him after he accepted it was gone forever, sakuya nearly passed out from how overwhelmed he was with your kindness! he wears it even more now, running his fingers over the texture of the flowers and feeling your love in every stitch every time he thought of you

(he started doing it subconciously, it became a comforting habit for him to do now)

acting like his professional stylist, you even knitted this super cute puff–ball beanie that was pink, silver, and white

the word “BLOSSOM” across the top became your new pet name the moment he received it (your contact was now blossom *insert every pink heart emoji ever*)

(unrelated but yes you two cosplayed as blossom and brick from the powerpuff girls for halloween)

your largest gift ever was a quilt blanket of patches you sewed of memories you shared!

(even the spaghetti disaster you now laughed about later on! sakuya realized wearing all white eating tomato sauce was a very bad idea)

countless movie nights, walks in the park, picnics by his favorite river, playing cute 3ds games together, decorating for school–wide events, and visiting the aquarium for the adorable clownfish were all apart of a blanket he would definitely save first in a hypothetical fire

yet, sakuya’s favorite gift ever was always on his person: a beaded promise bracelet you made

(you even got one back, although he definitely needed your help so it wasn’t much of a surprise)

it was during a community service event where sakuya signed up to take care of the little kids running around at the library center. it was art day, so he was happily painting a blank sculpture in the colorful room surrounded by a bunch of children who were concetrated on painting the best pokémon ever

you loved sakuya’s big heart and how he always dedicated time to helping others, so you made an effort to join him in his altrustic hobbies

(couples who care for the community stay together, obviously)

it had been a week after you noticed how sakuya’s famous pink watch was off his wrist. he downplayed it, just saying it wasn’t his favorite anymore even though he wore it for years

(but citron blabbed and confessed it was broken and he had never seen sakuya so upset except on spaghetti night)

(citron shuddered. no one speaks of spaghetti night around sakuya)

so when you slipped the pink beaded bracelet with his name and a small heart around the pikachu’s ears as a crown, sakuya looked up to see what would be his favorite piece of jewelery of all time

sakuya’s work ethic never went away and he worked twice as hard to have you happy to be with him, but it was nice to take a break and be spoiled every once in a while

(more like, spoiled every day as you always had something new to give. they would all become his lucky charms and it seemed like his accident–prone fortune went away)

sakuya was glad you worked just as hard to be with him; he loves you very, very much!

[multiharlot]

fixing the binding / s. reid

summary: spencer must rebind his relationship in order to salvage the chapters they’ve spent so long creating.

warnings: lowkey angst, fluff, sad spencer but let’s be real he deserves it (iN THIS FIC NOT IRL SPENNY DESERVES ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD)

part 1

masterlist

y/n’s pov

the room was quiet and the sun shone onto my face placing a gentle warmth on my cheek. the soft sheets covered my body and for a moment, i forgot of last night’s events. i forgot of the seemingly endless stream of tears and i forgot about the months of neglect. i forgot about spencer’s infidelity. every part of me wished that i could lay here in blissful ignorance. that i could turn the page and leave this chapter behind, but i couldn’t. i had to wake up. wake up and get out of bed and face the wreckage of my relationship. i had to do assess the damage and decide wether or not it was fixable. a part of me knew that even if it wasn’t, i’d stay. i’d stay and keep trying even if my efforts weren’t working. but i also owed it to myself to give me something that spencer couldn’t, peace. 

i sat myself up in bed, taking a moment to breathe and collect myself in order to prevent my emotions from taking over. throwing the covers from my legs, i went straight from the bedroom and into the bathroom. after a quick shower, i threw my hair up into a ponytail and changed into a pair of dark indigo skinny jeans and a t-shirt with our school choir logo on it. i walked out of the bathroom and sat at my vanity where i saw a small index card folded in half and placed gently against my makeup brush holder. i timidly reached over, unfolding the note and skimming my eyes across the note. 

y/n,

i made your tea for you already so that it’ll be cold enough to be iced once you wake up. i know you hate hot beverages. i’ll be home early today. i love you so much. 

forever yours, 

spencer.

my fingers traced over spencer’s messy handwriting as a sorrowful sigh escaped my lips. was he really mine if he belonged to someone else? shaking the thoughts from my head, i put on a quick layer of makeup and slid on my vans. i always thought that spencer preferring converse and my preference for vans was a funny contrast. it made me believe that we were each other’s other halves. but now i’m starting to believe that it may just be a sign of how opposite we truly are. i hated that i was thinking this way, but i couldn’t help it. i couldn’t help knowing that spencer was falling in love with someone else. or rather, he almost did. i glances over at the clock, a small wave of panic rushing through me as i realized the time. i pulled a cardigan from our closet and ran into the kitchen, grabbing my tumbler full of cold tea and dropping a few ice cubes in before gathering up my bag and running out the door. 

the school day was a rough one for me. i could barely focus and my students could tell. one of the best things about being a young choir teacher was that one, your students became your family. and two, they felt as though they could come to you because of your close proximity in age and you could come to them. 

“ms. y/n/n? are...are you okay?” one of my students ask as the classroom looks up at me with concerned faces. 

a sad chuckle escapes my lips and i nod my head. 

“i’ve just ummm...i had a really rough night last night.” i smile, trying to block out the blaring recollection of last night. 

“did something happen to spencer?” one of the boys asks as he shuts his binder, the other students following. 

“obviously not, she’s wearing his cardigan.” jackie shouts from the back. 

my heart stops as i take note of that face that, i was indeed, wearing spencer’s cardigan.

“no...ummm....you know what? let’s cut rehearsal early today? just ummm...make sure you all practice a little extra tonight. and we’ll work on this new song tomorrow.” i say, giving my students a tight smile as my eyes begin to water. 

they all look at each other skeptically and one of my soprano girls walks up to me, wrapping her arms around my torso. 

“whatever it is, we love you.” she sighs into my shoulder, making my lips quiver. 

the other students follow behind her, enveloping me into a group hug. some of the boys being even taller than me.

“guys...” i whine, tears cascading down my face. 

“shhh. let it happen.” one of my tenors whisper, making us all laugh. 

“what’re they feeding some of you guys? geez.” i pout, pushing the heads of the boys who stood at least another head taller than me. 

the group laughs and a soft silence blankets over us for just a moment.

“listen ms. y/n/n. you’re here for us more than some of our own parents are. we’re a family. and we’re here for you.” my lead bass speaks out, making me chuckle. 

“i love you guys too. now come on. go home. i know you want to.” i smile, wiping my cheeks down and pulling my arms out from my kids’ hold. 

they all pulled away, gathering their things and walking out the doors, saying their goodbyes and giving me so many more hugs than i could count. after locking up the classroom, i made my way out to my car. the drive home was slower than it ever had been. i was going the exact speed limit, and i had opted on taking the long way home. when i pulled into the parking space, i sat in my car for just a moment. spencer should be home by now, and i wasn’t sure if i wanted to walk in and face this just yet. i wanted to allow myself one more moment of ignorant bliss. a moment where i could pretend that last night never happened and i would walk into my apartment and spencer and i would be happy. but this moment couldn’t last forever. 

i slowly made my way up to the apartment, walking in and shutting the door behind me. spencer stood in the living room, his head snapping towards mine. 

“hey.” i smile timidly, placing my bags on the table beside the front door. 

“hi...how was work?”

“fine...you?”

he nods in response, sticking his hands in his pockets. 

“you’re wearing my sweater...i always love it when you do that.” he chuckles sadly. 

“would you like it better if it were on maeve?”

he stops for a moment, looking shamefully down at his mismatched socks. another sigh escapes my lips as i rub my hands over my face. 

“i’m sorry...i didn’t mean to say that. i just...i can’t get it out of my head. you were falling in love with someone else, spencer and-”

“but i wasn’t. i wasn’t falling in love with her. i don’t have enough space to love somebody else because all the room i had left was reserved for you. baby...i love you. i’m in love with you. and i always will be in love with you. wether or not you choose to stay, you’re it for me. i didn’t even realize what i was doing until it was being done. there wasn’t a sexual component to any of this she just...” he pauses, as if he were trying to refrain from saying something he couldn’t take back.

“she was smarter than me...it’s okay. you can say it.” i mumble, walking over to his reading chair and plopping myself onto it. 

“but that’s just it. you’re not smarter than her. in fact, you actually have a higher iq. she just...the things she specialized in made me feel like when i was talking, she understood. not on an emotional level, but just a logical one. like she knows what planck’s constant is. but you...you know exactly how to get me out of bed after a bad case. and you know exactly how i like my coffee and why i like it that way. and sometimes i don’t even have to tell you that something’s wrong because before i walk in that door, you already know somehow. y/n, i don’t want someone who understands the things i say, i want someone who understands me. and that person is you. and i’ll never forgive myself for letting things go as far as they did with her and if i could take it back i would, but i can’t. so all i can do is fix the bindings.” he pleads, kneeling down in front of me and taking my face into his hands.

a sad chuckle escapes my lips and he wipes away the tears falling down my cheeks.

“fix the bindings, huh?”

“yeah...our book may be falling apart, but i’ll fix the binding. i’ll keep it together. i’ll do everything i have to do to put us back together. i’m not going to throw it away. no matter how much we fall apart, i’ll never throw it away.”

i sniffle, looking down my hands as spencer stares at me expectantly. 

“you know...i had this inner monologue with myself this morning. and i told myself that i knew you’d be able to get me to stay. the biggest part of me knew that you could’ve thrown me to the wind and i’d still want to try and do damage control. but i also owed to myself to leave, to give myself peace.”

his face drops as he holds tightly to my hands. 

“y/n please-”

“it’s a good thing talking people down is your job because let me tell you what you had me in the first half, i’m not gonna lie.” i shrugged, and a giant smile breaks out onto his face. 

“yeah?”

“yeah...and you’re totally on dish duty for like...a while.” i scoff, pushing him out of the way and walking towards the bedroom.

“should i also do laundry? i can organize your music binders. they’re kind of a mess.” he shouts, following behind me.

“you’re walking on thin ice, pal.” i turn glaring at the tall man. 

he smiles, wrapping his arms around my hips and leaning down to press a gentle kiss to my lips. 

“as long as there’s still ice to walk on.”

(pls tell me if you want to be added to my taglist! i have no clue if you want to be here if you don’t say anything!)

@dreatine @slytherinintj13 @mileven-reddie @eleventhdoctorsangel

[eeveedel]

For the thick alpha mafia: we know that louis in this au is v independent and strong, but can we see a scene where he’s suddenly vulnerable? (like when there’s a raid and he thinks h has been hurt). Or when Louis actually agrees to bond? x

This is more vulnerable Harry than Louis but I hope you enjoy it! Pls note this is copied from my RP with @houayloriana and I just edited it a bit; I wrote the stuff from Harry’s POV and she wrote Louis’s POV, so the viewpoints shift a bit and it’s not written like a normal fic. This is more meant to give y’all a taste of the AU we came up with together, so be kind xx

--

Louis knew, logically, he should’ve been running for the hills, far away from this life and this man, try and salvage a way to forget about his missing little finger.Yet, he wanted to just lay with Harry, breathe him in.Louis quickly scurried to the master bathroom to wash his face with some warm water and peer around at what looked like to be a freshly cleaned and spruced bathroom, by one of his maids no doubt.He came back out to find Harry was still not there, so he climbed on his large bed, legs crossed, sitting upright and swimming in the large silk pajamas Harry has given him to wear. Even with the drawstring of the pants tightened all the way, his waist was still too small for it to wrap around completely.

Harry entered soon, and smiled to himself when he saw Louis sitting in his bed, surrounded in loose silk. He looked beautiful, so out of place in Harry’s big clothes, and yet it seemed to make perfect sense he was there.Louis looked at Harry, eyed tired and wide, vulnerable.“Lay with me.. please,” he asked softly, eyes flickering the open space on the bed next to him. “Please, sleep here with me..” he started to beg, uncaring if he sounded desperate. “I— I don’t want to be alone right now,” he sniffled, beginning to squirm with neediness.

Harry moved quickly to come over to the bed and kissed him.

“I’ll hold you, just lay down, sweetheart,” Harry coaxed. He pulled back the covers on the opposite side of the bed, moving next to Louis. He realized he chosen a side of the bed just for himself, always content to just sprawl in the middle of the mattress. He had never picked a side for his own bed, never had anyone to share it with.

Once he was under the covers Harry pulled Louis close to him, cradling his petite body. He knew Louis was small but had never felt him like this, so loose and dwarfed next to Harry’s own body.

Louis exhaled contentedly. He burrowed between Harry’s plush pectorals, inhaling his heady alpha scent. He nuzzled him, scented him, bringing his knees up to curl in slightly, small feet disappearing into the bottom of the silk pants. The nub where his little finger used to be throbbed, a dull pain radiating from there to his whole hand. The doctor had given him two small pills that seemed to dull it, a bottle of a few still sitting in the room he was examined for later.

He was a little fuzzy, from his fading adrenaline and being surrounded by his alphas scent. It was everywhere around him. His pajamas smelled of laundry detergent and him, his room smelling of cologne and his natural scent, bedsheets the same.Harry leaned down and nuzzled his nose into Louis’s shoulder. He still smelled so sweet, but his scent was laced with bitterness and fear, and it made Harry grip him tighter, digging his fingers into Louis’s back. There were guards in every nook and cranny of this house and its grounds, the worst thing that had happened to his home was a single broken window. But he felt like he was the last defense against Louis and anything in the outside world, he would do anything to protect him if he needed to. And still, his fingers shook a bit despite his tight grip, his nerves coming through.“This,” he started, and then swallowed, feeling his voice shake, “This is the first time I’ve had a b-b-boy in my b-bed,” he said, exhaling hard on the last word, rushing to get it out.Louis peered up at him blearily, eyebrows coming together slightly in a look of sympathy. He had no idea harry Harry a stutter. It sounded like more of a speech impediment than a casual fumble over words.“Oh, darling,” he exhaled the words, scooting up the bed slightly to put his face in his alphas warm neck, his pulse point throbbing erratically. “My sweet alpha,” he murmured gently, hand going to Harry’s messy head of curls, combing his fingers through it, all four of them.

Harry’s eyes and cheeks burned and he shook his head while the omega touched him and spoke to him so sweetly. Louis’s hand was so gentle in his hair, but Harry could feel where his hand had been bandaged and there was no longer a finger then. His stomach turned and he closed his eyes. “You got hurt because of me,” he said. The thought had been bouncing in his head for a long time, but it was bitter finally coming out. “I’m s—“The S lodged in his mouth, his tongue trapping it. He tried to purse his lips, coo, force it out like he had trained himself to do years ago. But his throat and tongue were both betrayed him, going stiff and choking him as he tried to speak.“S-s-s-s—“ he tried, and then squeezed his eyes shut again and whined weakly with frustration. He felt anger bubble inside him, but it wasn’t white hot rate, just frustration and underneath that, fear.He clung tightly to Louis’s fingers gripping at the loose fabric on the omega’s body, and he leaned in to breathe him in deep.“S-Sorry,” he finally breathed out.

Louis withdrew his face from Harry’s neck, hand still in his hair, looking at his alpha as he choked on the letter S, like he wanted it to come out, but somehow it was trapped in his mouth.

“Darling.. take your time,” he said softly, not even a touch antagonizing. He’d heard of people with speech impediments before, about stuttering and even those who had lisps or were completely mute. He had no idea Harry was one who had a stammer, and it make his frown deepen at the sight of Harry struggling to communicate with him. He’d figured Harry had trained himself or simply grown out of it, since he had no idea prior to this night, but the events had triggered it.

Harry felt dizzy and breathless with the effort of speaking, and he panted for a moment.“Done that since I was a k-kid,” he managed, swallowing hard after the last word. He felt his body tense, ready for Louis to laugh at him and tell him he was slow. He had heard it all before, but he didn’t know if he could survive it coming from Louis.“It’s— or for Pete’s sake, Harry, don’t you dare be ashamed, not for one second,” Louis scolded, hand moving from his hair to pet his scarred face, the keloid marks hard under his palm.He burrowed into Harry’s warmth, hands moving to caress both sides of the alphas face. He leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to his mouth, slow, no heat behind it, just a calm gesture of tenderness.He pulled away and pressed their foreheads together. He moved his head back and forth, rubbing their foreheads together in a gentle Eskimo kiss.Louis’s voice was a soft, gentle cooing as he spoke to harry, coaching him through his stuttering and comforting him. He touched Harry’s face gently, rubbing at his thick scar tissue and up over his stubble-covered cheeks. He came forward and kissed him gently, then rubbed their noses together in turn.

Harry wanted nothing more to melt into Louis’s touch, enjoy it fully. But instead he shut his eyes hard and felt a tear slip out, hot and angry. He felt hyper aware of the contrast between them, how Louis was so much smaller, prettier, and gentler than he was. And how he was injured, a part of him taken away he could never get back, and it was Harry’s fault. And Harry didn’t even have to balls or the tongue to tell Louis he loved him. He wanted to push Louis away, but he also wanted to pull him closer, savor every second before he gave Louis a way out. “Louis,” he said slowly. His voice felt a bit more solid, and he pressed hard on his words, trying to get each one out. “Louis, you — I’m not good for you.”He pressed his eyes closed hard, trying to prevent the tears from coming out, but they were already there.“I’m too old and ugly and married to my work and I get angry,” Harry said. “I got your fucking finger cut off, and I can’t even talk right.”He took a long breath, and his voice shook as he spoke again. “Why do you want to stay with me?” He asked, “You should find someone better. You should be happy.”

Louis pulled away from Harry, eyebrows pulling together and downwards at Harry’s words. He pulled back completely and sat up, legs and arms crossed. Harry cringed was Louis moved away from him, and then sat up, leering over Harry and glaring at him in the dark. He tried to sit up on his elbow, grunting as he tried to move his body up.“Listen to me, and listen well,” Louis said, eyes narrowed and beady, tone venomous, “You have no right, absolutely none, to tell me what’s good for me, is that clear? From day one I told you I’m my own omega and I can make my own decisions. I chose you to court me because that is what I wanted. So don’t you dare for a second assume you know what’s best for me, Harry Styles.” “This,” he held his damaged hand up and waved it in Harry’s face, the bandage a bit red on the tip where some excess blood had seeped through. “This is evidence enough I’m here for the long haul. The fact I didn’t run for the hills the second this happened should be proof that I—“ he choked on his words for a second and groaned, gesticulating with his uninjured hand.“That I love you, you miserable fatass!”Harry just blinked. Because amongst the insult Louis had just tossed at him, was the most beautiful word Harry had ever heard. “You love me?” Harry asked softly. “But — but why?”He rushed on, already seeing Louis frown. “I mean...” he trailed off. “I love you. I really do. You are the first person I gave loved in a long time. But why would you love me?”He twisted his fingers, looking down. He felt his stutter rearing up, slipping in and choking him as he tried to speak.“Is it my m-money? Because you can find someone else with money, someone b-better than m-me.”

Louis narrowed his eyes at his alpha, tilting his head to the side. “I take offense to that, I’ll have you know. You know damn well I have my own money. I make my own money. Sure, it’s not as much as you, but I have a top floor loft and priceless collectibles and money to burn. I want no one for their money, Harry, don’t flatter yourself.”Harry swallowed hard, clasping his hands together.“I can try to take c-care of you. But I don’t know if I c-can. Not the way you deserve.”He turned sincere for a moment. “Harry, I don’t want to be taken care of. I’m not a helpless omega or a damsel in distress that you need to rescue. Sure, tonight getting my pinky lobbed off before I could perform sort of tossed a wrench in that, but, you didn’t rescue me.. you helped me, Harry. That’s all I want from you, from.. from.. us, a mutual understanding and respect, and for you to know I’m not just your omega, but I’m a person, too,” he said, voice more quiet and vulnerable.

Harry blinked, biting down a bit on his tongue to keep himself from piping up as Louis spoke.

The omega in front of him was small, even smaller looking while drowning in Harry’s pajamas and in his big bed, but his body bristled and he spoke quickly and harshly.He softened as he spoke, and then, suddenly, he was yawning and collapsing into Harry, grabbing his arm. He inched closer to Harry, laying down once more and snuggling close into his warmth. “I’m tired, Harry.. will you hold me, please? Your doctor gave me quite a heavy dose of painkillers, and I think they’re working..” he yawned, wrapping both of his arms around Harry’s thick forearm, nuzzling his cheek into his warm palm.Harry lifted the covers, drawing them more firmly over top of Louis. When he was done he put his hand on the back of Louis’s head, drawing him closer to his chest. The omega was going soft and pliant in his arms, sleepy with exhaustion and pain pills. Harry kissed his forehead and held him carefully, setting his other hand on Louis’s hip to keep him grounded. “Sweet dreams,” Harry said softly. He looked down at Louis, slowly slipping off in his arms. The first time an omega had slept with him in this bed. The first time Harry had let an omega get this close to him.With Louis drowsy in his arms, he thought about what Louis said he wanted. An equal partnership, to stand on his own two feet. Harry hadn’t thought about mating in years, but in the back of his mind, he always assumed he would be the provider and keep the same control he had over the rest of his life. But Louis was breaking that all apart, and Harry wasn’t sure if he minded.

[indiavolowetrust]

Matthew 7:7

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

5

TW: Mentions of Blood and Violence.

The inside of Satan’s room is just as I remember it: dark, filled to the top with books, novellas, and research guides, and almost completely devoid of space.  Filled shelves nearly line every wall, his desk nothing more than storage for a number of unorganized documents. And a small reading lamp, of course. It burns dimly at the edge of his desk, wedged between a pamphlet and a mug filled with pens. Satan’s false reading glasses sit beside it. A clock hung haphazardly on a wall indicates the time to be a quarter to midnight. A clap of thunder reverberates just outside the walls of the House of Lamentation, and I do my best to suppress a shiver.

Satan had said nothing as he took my half-conscious, shell-shocked body into the House of Lamentation and neither had I -- so it had been a silent agreement. Not that I had much reason to protest. My throat still aches with the strength of the incubus’ grip, the lacerations at my cheekbone and knee shooting sharp sparks of pain up my body. I can only imagine the countless internal bruises.

I draw myself deeper within my frigid, soaked clothing. Hold the borrowed towel close to my body. Satan’s expansive bed creaks ominously as I shift, despite my diminutive frame, and I can only hope that his sheets are staying mostly dry underneath the towel. Nothing had been salvageable. Aside from the school bag, Satan had been unable to recover anything more than a water-damaged textbook and a number of illegible texts on the street. My D.D.D. was out of the question.

The incubus had stopped screaming long before he was done. A reflection of what the incubus had promised to do unto him. Satan had snapped each of the incubus’ fingers one by one, starting with the one the demon had used to gesture towards me. The incubus had managed to wriggle out from under Satan’s grip at one point, attempting to flee, and Satan had simply shattered each of the incubus’ legs. A measure of necessity. And then the incubus no longer possessed them, the offending limbs torn off and thrown elsewhere, and the blood had bloomed in  rainwater. But Satan had kept him alive. Satan had kept the incubus conscious for as long as possible. I had only watched in silence as Satan’s form became splattered with crimson, his immaculate appearance for once tarnished.

I did nothing to stop his rampage. I should have screamed for him to stop, should have barred him from tearing the demon asunder, should have been horrified at the gruesome scene before me -- and yet I could not bring myself to do so. I could not bring myself to act under pretense.  And when Satan was finished, regarding me with blood and viscera on his hands, I was not afraid.

The door swings open, and I nearly startle out of my place on Satan’s bed. Satan shuffles quickly but quietly into the room, his arms full with what appears to be rolls of bandages, tins of ointment, and bottles of antibacterial spray, then closes the door. The items replace a pile of research papers on his desk.

“I know you were adamant about holding off until tomorrow about reporting the incident to Lucifer and Diavolo, but it would be best if we treated your injuries now. We can have someone more qualified take a look at you in the morning.” Satan takes the antibacterial spray and ointment in his hands. “Where should we start?”

I open my mouth to speak -- but my voice is only a quiet, painful croak, the act straining my bruised windpipe. You don’t have to do this, I want to protest. You’ve already done so much. You shouldn’t feel obligated.

Given my current state and the resolve in Satan’s gaze, however, I doubt that I’ll be able to convince him otherwise.

Satan takes my chin in his fingers, angling my head, and I wince as the antibacterial spray hits the scraped flesh of my cheekbone. Thankfully, the burning abates after a moment. He works quickly but efficiently, applying the ointment, gauze, and bandages to the area. His expression hardens somewhat at the sight of bruised skin at my neck and collar bone, his impassivity slipping, but he fails to address the matter. His fingers are a mere brush against my skin when he applies the medicine, gentle and fleeting. His movements are measured. Steady. He pauses for a moment each time before treating an area, waiting for my silent but sure consent. The tension is nearly palpable. I nearly catch his gaze a few times as he works, regarding his brilliant green eyes with my dark, shadowed ones -- but he deftly avoids my gaze.

“You have pacts with all of us, don’t you?” he finally asks, breaking the silence. “Why didn’t you just activate one and summon one of us to your side? You were lucky I went out looking for you.”

I force my voice out of my damaged throat. “I’m not … Solomon.”

“Yes, but you could have easily forced one of us to walk you back home after your shift. Even Mammon knows how dangerous the Devildom is for humans,” Satan chastises, placing the finishing touches on my damaged throat. A quick press secures the gauze in place. “I’m sure he would be glad to accompany you.”

I shake my head. “Your will … is not mine.”

I hold his gaze for what feels like the first time in hours, unwavering. Perhaps it is considered acceptable for a demon like him -- expected, even -- but I cannot truly imagine myself doing so. To hold another's will in the palm of my hand and crush it would simply be an unthinkable act. And I had narrowly escaped death plenty of times before, besides. If I were to be devoured or otherwise slaughtered for being human, so be it. I would not needlessly endanger someone else. I am already a burden, as is. How could I be so selfish? Why would I be willing to be even more of a burden?

I try to say as much to the wrathful demon.

My throat nearly collapses underneath the strain of my efforts, my lips fumbling awkwardly around the Enochian words. The thoughts that do emerge from my mouth are nearly incomprehensible, my Spanish accent hitting me full force, and so I resort to accompanying my audible words with gestures. Satan regards me wordlessly, his expression unmoving and indiscernible. I feel a pang of embarrassment. Had he not understood?

You idiot, I chide myself, mentally slapping myself in the face. Of course he doesn’t understand. How would anyone be able to tell what -- 

He laughs.

It is a throaty, restrained sound. A smile erupts over his features, and he brings a hand over his mouth, as if to prevent himself from laughing any longer at my expense. I can’t help but stare in bewilderment. It is easily one of the most genuine expressions I have ever seen on Satan. Then he is placing a hand atop of my wet, coiled curls, ruffling my hair as if I were a pet. I feel a tinge of heat begin to rise to my cheeks.

“You really do say the weirdest things,” he says, teasing me. I open and close my mouth, a protest on the tip of my tongue, and his smile only widens. “The only good thing about this is that you can’t ask many questions as you usually do.”

I frown in disapproval, but I make no effort to address the topic further. Satans screws the top onto the ointment, intending to put away the first aid supplies -- and then thinks better of it. He gives me an expectant look. His eyes linger over the towel he had lent me, his hands remaining on the container of medicine. The question is obvious.

“Only … one,” I rasp, shifting myself slightly out of the confines of the towel. I do my best to peel off my pantyhose, wincing at the sensation of the cloth pulling away from the torn skin, and then I gesture at the wound. The laceration is widespread but not deep, thankfully. “On my knee.”

Satan nods. “Just a second, then.”

* * *

My wet blazer hangs over Satan’s desk chair, the piles of books pushed far enough away from the garment. Satan had been thorough in his efforts to treat my wounds as much as possible, and an innumerable number of bandages of strips of gauze cover my body. Bandages and ointment cover the scrapes on my wrist, the laceration at my cheekbone, the wound on my knee, and the purple, budding bruising at my throat. Satan looks at me with satisfaction when he deems the task complete, his gaze drawing over his work. Then he gathers the medical supplies strewn on his bed and desk, taking them in his arms, and begins to head towards the door.

Wait, please.

“Wait,” I rasp, the word coming out a little more forcefully than intended. He gives me a sidelong glance, only a few steps away from the doorway. “Let me  repay you.”

Satan cracks a smile, teasing me. “If this is about tutoring again, I’m sure it can wait until tomorrow.”

That’s --

The warmth is brief. Fleeting. Satan’s form stands before mine before I can blink, even with the medical supplies in his arms, and his lips draw themselves away from the curls plastered on my forehead. I register the sensation of the chaste kiss on my skin after the act, my senses not quite recovered from the ordeal, and Satan smiles down at me. That polite, perfectly amiable smile. He steps away to create distance between us, ever the gentleman, and gathers his bearings. His back begins to turn to me once more.

I grab his arm before he can do so, forcing him to face me with an unexpected strength. There is only a split moment for Satan’s features to register his surprise, his eyes widening -- and then my cold lips press to his, drinking in his heat. His lips are just as I had imagined: soft, warm, and telling of a kindness hidden beneath his exterior. It only lasts the span of a moment. I release my hold on his arm when I pull away, retreating back into my prior position.

A heavy flush has spread itself over Satan, his expression indecipherable. He stands stock-still, the medical supplies still in his arms, and only blinks at me in the aftermath, seemingly unsure how to react. Silence falls between us.  Lightning strikes somewhere in the distance, illuminating both of our forms in the near-darkness.

Oh.

I cover my face in embarrassment, pressing a hand to the side of my bandaged cheek. “I -- I’m sorry, I --”

He steals my words away in the next breath, kissing me with a fervor I hadn’t expected. The medical supplies clatter audibly onto the floor, the bandages rolling away. He doesn’t care. One of his knees props up onto the side of the bed, allowing him to position himself over me, and both of his hands move to cradle the sides of my face. The kiss is desperate, shameless -- and yet it is still undeniably, irrevocably gentle. Demure, somehow. Satan runs his tongue across my bottom lip, asking for permission, and I meet his tongue with mine.

He kisses me over and over, as if he were afraid I would never allow him to do so again. As if he were trying to make it perfect every time. He braces his hands on my shoulders when he finally draws away from the act, his countenance completely undone. Satan runs a hand through his hair, averting his gaze.

“You’re cold.” Satan glances at my wet uniform. “If I take you back to your room, you can change into something dry.”

“I can borrow your clothes,” I counter.

“You’re injured. If we continue, I might hurt you.”

“You won’t.”

“I just dragged you in from the rain,” he says. “You aren’t clean.”

My throat crackles, but I force my voice to speak the words. “You aren’t clean either. We can take a bath together.”

Satan sighs. I can see his resolve slipping. “You’re afraid of me.”

“Am I?” I ask. I slowly move myself off the side of the bed, forcing my body to stand. The white blouse and dark skirt of my uniform fall to the floor, feather-light even in their current state. I take a step closer, my head just at chest-height on the wrathful demon, and stare up at him through the darkness. “Am I, really?”

part 6

[thecursedhellblazer]

For @thedemonconstantine​​​​​​, who once again didn’t ask for it, but who gets my crap anyway u.u

domestic ship meme || Accepting !

(( I removed three of the prompts because they were the same of the previous meme! ))

JOHN & DEMON JOHN

who reaches out to new neighbors Luckily for everyone, they don’t have neighbours. John has picked a place in the middle of a forest, far away enough from the city, for the exact reason of not having to deal with busybodies and to be able to go around his occult business without having to worry about interruptions or to make up excuses to explain all the oddities that happen around them. After he has freed the Copy from Hell and the Other has become a more or less stable presence in his household, the choice had turned out to be an even more appropriate one. Between the fights and their messed up sexual life, they would have definitely got all the wrong kinds of unwanted attention. Whenever they happens to be elsewhere and make enough of a mess to alarm the people living nearby, they usually end up fighting even more because the Copy just want to off the witnesses, while John leans more towards deleting their memories with a spell. It usually ends with Chas clearing up the chaos, if they haven’t done anything irreparable, or always with Chas calling Zatanna for assistance, because John can’t really be trusted with that kind of spells. Whenever he tries them,while they do their job,  they also always end up having nasty side effects.

who remembers to buy healthy food The Copy eats only what he is fed with and basically everything he gets given, good or not so much. John, from time to time, on a good day, finds the patience and the will to cook for them both, but, at the end of the day, it’s only thanks to Chas if he has the ingredients to do it in the first place. Yet another reason for the Other to call the cabbie their “free maid”. John doesn’t say it as often, but he wholeheartedly agrees.

who remembers to buy junk food They either steal it from Chas’s secret stash (more about it in the next section) or John is the one who drags his ass to the store and buy whatever random junk the Copy has talked him into getting. There is nothing that he hates more than having to comply, but at times it’s the only way to avoid a fight when he is still healing and all sore because of the last one they had. At times, John just takes off with the excuse of them needing “supplies” because it gives him an excuse to have some space away from the Other, because there are moments when he really can’t stand being around him. Usually, it happens whenever he is feeling already unable to deal with himself and having the Copy around just makes it worse. Of course, the bastard seems to always notice and, if he sticks around for too long, the Other ends up exploiting the fact to torment him more than his own head is already doing.

who fixes the oven when it breaks They don’t fix anything. They are, one way or the other, the reason why everything has been broken in the first place, including themselves. John tries to avoid having the most violent fights happening inside, but at times they start so abruptly and so explosively that there’s nothing that can be done to prevent the damage. For the most, it usually ends with broken glasses and bottles, ruined sofa covers and carpets, a smashed chair and blood and maggots everywhere. However, there are occasions in which things get even more out of hand and they add cracks in the walls and thrash everything that happens to be too close to them, including forniture and appliances. In the aftermath, the Copy always leaves, dumping the task to clean up the mess all on John. Constantine usually waits for his demon blood to patch him up a bit, wipes away some of the blood, to make everything look less bad than it has been, and then calls Chas.

who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s) John has some herbs and mystical greeneries he grows as ingredients for his spell. Some are in the vault and they are magical enough not to require his attention. Others are in the backyards of the cabin and nature takes care of them. Constantine bothers only with the ones who need a special kind of nourishment, but he still makes sure that they can fence for themselves for long periods in any case. What really takes a concrete effort it stopping the Copy from messing with them. The bastard had used some of them to poison John a few times, with nasty results. He would have probably died horribly, hadn’t it been for his tainted blood, so he just went through the horrible part without actually dying. The Other got his face burnt off with magic or he found himself trapped in a very small cage for days to no end after every single episode. Also, it happens often enough, far too often for Constantine’s liking, that he takes away the on ingredient the magician needs, and urgently, to complete whatever spell or potion he is working on.

who makes the bed None of them cares about it, also because it usually gets thrashed all over again, for one reason or the other. John changes the sheets when they are too soiled with dried blood or too torn to be used (and it happens more often than he’s ready to admit) and it’s only because he put a protective spell on the mattress that he doesn’t have to change it too every two weeks or so. Whenever Chas comes around and is willing to doe some chores, they leave that part to him too, even if, after a while, the cabbie got fed up enough to refuse to do it whenever the bed had got too filthy. He might be their best friend and he might be ready and resigned to clean after them, but he has to protect his own mental sanity too.

who makes the coffee John...just to have it stolen from his hands before he can even get a sip out of the mug. At times the Copy drinks it in his face, especially when it’s the last they had left, others he simply throws it on the floor. Or on his Maker (the hotter, the better in such case).  Some of the burns have even scarred and John hasn’t stayed pissed even after the demon has “not-apologised” (he almost never makes the effort, so when he does it’s supposed to truly mean something, but the magician is simply too done with him to appreciate it at times.) By now Constantine has learnt to be smarter about it, either avoiding to even just look at the machine whenever the Other is around or never pouring it all, so he can get more once he has managed to kick the demon’s wounded ass out of the cabin and into a portal for a trip in some nasty realm, so he can have his breakfast in peace. 

who burns breakfast The Copy doesn’t cook or bother with anything related to that so, when it happens, it’s usually John’s doing. That said, it’s also true that most of the times it’s the Other’s fault too, because he’s the one to distract his Maker from what he is doing, either starting a fight or more pleasurable activities. Then there was that one, odd time when John woke up to smoke from the ground floor of the cabin, just to find that the Copy had somehow managed to incinerate whatever food he had been trying to make and the whole cooker with it. It was the anniversary of the demon’s creation and John had been so stunned that he hadn’t even managed to say a single word on the matter. Later on, when Chas had come over to see if the appliance was salvageable, he had taken the blame from the accident instead of putting it on his demonic self. They never spoke of it again, but that very same night was one of the extremely rare times when their passion held almost no violence in it, despite it being particularly intense, and everything was agonisingly slow.

how do they let each other know they’re leaving the house They don’t. Each of them goes and comes as he pleases. The only times when John warns the Copy is when he knows that he’ll be away for some time and it’s mostly to warn him not to wreak havoc in his absence if he doesn’t want to suffer the consequences of it. The threats mostly fall onto deaf ears, but at least he can say that he has given the bastard a fair warning when he finds himself forced to keep his word.

how do they greet each other when one of them gets home It depends on the circumstances. For the most with insults and cutting remarks that can either end in a session of bickering or lead up to a real fight. Other times they simply ignore each other past a brief glare. Then there are the times when they haven’t seen each other in a good while and they are too impatient to even go through their usual foreplay, so they just lace onto each other and shreds their clothes off, making themselves unavailable for the next three hours, at least.

who picks the movie for movie night / their favorite kind of movie to watch Their movie night is game night and that usually means that Chas comes over too. It’s perhaps the most normal part of their fucked up routine and John has come to appreciate it exactly for that reason. After he has chosen to bring the Copy back in his life, most of his habits had got screwed up and, while he is used to deal with dangers and chaos, he misses the quiet moments even more for the mere reason that they are now even more often denied to him. Chas’s presence usually means both more tension and more balance, because his best friend is on the edge and glaring whenever the Other is around, but, at the same time, the Copy behaves a bit more because he knows that pissing John off on those nights means being sent away and leaving the two men to enjoy each other’s company. The idea nags him more than he is ready to admit. If a movie happens instead of the game, it’s usually of the sort that has made Chas emotional in other occasions. And that never gets old.

who first suggests a pillow fort / who builds the pillow fort Pillow forts or anything of the sort truly are not their thing. It’s something that would have never crossed their minds if it hadn’t been for that one cursed time when Tim had come up with the idea. Of course, the teen’s only aim had been to make both Johns uncomfortable and feeling like two idiots, even if he had hide it behind the excuse of wanting to understand why some young humans enjoyed the idea so much. Useless to say, he managed to make them miserable and even more annoyed because Yoyo, on his part, had appreciated very much being allowed to perch in peace over all those pillows, while staring at them both amused and judgemental. The fort had been later set on fire as some lame attempt of payback. For the most, it had been done in the hope that the shame would have burnt with it.

who tries to distract the other during the movie Most of the times it’s the Copy. John does it too, but less often. In any case, if they are alone, it’s rare that they get to finish whatever they are watching, be it because they end up painting the floor red and each other black and blue or because they decide that the movie can go screw itself while they screw each other. Or both. The fights begin verbally and quickly escalate into physical violence, and they can be born out of a bad comment or a wrong word or just out of nothing. The sex, instead, can either start with no preambles and one of them simply throwing the other down on the couch or on the floor, or it can be more subtle, with not so random touches escalating into a full groping and kissing.

who falls asleep first Depends on the circumstances. The Copy doesn’t need to sleep, so there are times when he doesn’t even stick around once they are done with each other and John sleeps it off on his own. In other occasions, the demon waits for his Maker to have fallen asleep or purposefully knocks him out, so he can have the chance to keep him close in his arms until he starts to stir again. Other times again, it’s exactly the other way around, with John waiting for the Copy to go into stasis so he can non-cuddle him. However, it starts, the next morning, they never really talk about or acknowledge the fact that they have woken up entangled in each other in a way that speaks of everything but the hatred they are so keen on openly proclaiming to each other.

----

JOHN & CHAS

who reaches out to new neighbors John doesn’t have neighbours, since his cabin is set literally in the middle of nowhere, and it’s usually Chas who stays over and not the other way around. However, there are times when they are staying in some other city/town for a few days and they have to rent a place or take a motel room. John’s dabbling with magic can cause some mayhem, which can result in injuries, very odd noises or him coming back in a state that is either indecent or worrisome and it’s up to Chas to take care of public relations, which includes making sure no one calls the police. No need for their American criminal records to get as bad as their English ones.

who remembers to buy healthy food Chas. He is the one who does the shopping in general, because all John never forgets to buy are cigarettes and booze. All the rest he is very likely to forgo, especially when he has his head wrapped up into something. Chas has learnt since their very first months together that being Constantine’s best friend means being his keeper too. Besides, he likes cooking, so it’s never that much of a bother.

who remembers to buy junk food Again, Chas. He stocks up for movies night and keeps a small stash of snacks for whenever Tim shows up at their door. He usually tries to hide it in the most creative ways he can think of, because John tends to dig it up whenever he is staying on his own for too long and can’t be persuaded to go and get actual food. Useless to say, the magician always manages to find it...even when he hides it in his own flat. Chas can’t wrap his head around why his best mate goes through all the trouble of planeswalking just to do that and yet he can’t be bothered to make a simple trip to the store. One of the many mysteries of John Constantine.

who fixes the oven when it breaks Chas is the one who handles most of the repairs, especially when they involve appliances and daily life objects. If it was up to John, those things would simply be left there and stay broken till the day he decides to throw them out to make space for something else. There was one time when Chas wanted to see for how long John could keep up his pretense of not caring and he didn’t replace the coffee maker after it had got involved in a “magical incident”, which had completely fried it. He watched Constantine trying to use it every morning and late night for over two months, getting mad at it and manhandling it, even if he knew very well that the thing couldn’t have worked in any case, before giving in and getting his best friend a new one out of exasperation.

who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s) If they had a pet, it would probably be Chas’s and, as such, his complete responsibility. John might agree to feed it, if the cabbie truly begged him to look after it for one night because he has to work. In the aftermath, both John and the dog would hope that such thing never happens again. As for the plants, as mentioned above, John has some greenery lying around, but it really doesn’t take much work or attention.

who makes the bed Chas makes his own every morning. Once upon a time, he used to make John’s too, if he happened to get the time, but he has quickly learnt not to bother because all he gets out of it is for his best friend to protest and mess it up once again. Now, he sticks to changing the sheets once in a while. Unless he knows that John has had some unconventional company over the night before. In that case, he stands there, glaring sternly, hands on his hips, until John takes care of them.

who makes the coffee Chas makes fresh when if he is around, also because at times it’s a good way to lure his best friend out of bed without having to use force, otherwise John gets it from a bar or use the coffee maker (if his current one is functional).

who burns breakfast John has a long record of burning things, starting with Chas’s old kitchen back when they were still living with the cabbie’s mother. That was an accident involving a spell gone wrong and, with some practice, he has managed to become a decent cook too. However, he also has the bad habit of getting distractive easily, especially if he is hangover or running on no sleep, so...accidents happen. Not to mention that he still uses kitchen utensils for spells, so that one time in Chas’s old kitchen hasn’t been the first and only fire he has started in such circumstances.

how do they let each other know they’re leaving the house Chas usually gives John a shout, saying that he is heading out. If the magician is too busy or can’t hear him for some reason, he leaves a note saying where he is heading off on the fridge or on the table attached to a bottle of beer, to make sure that Constantine finds him. John most of the times just leaves without a word. It has happened that Chas has kept talking to him, while busy doing chores or cooking, only to realise that the bastard has left mid-conversation and that he has been talking to no one like an idiot for over ten minutes.

how do they greet each other when one of them gets home Usually they come back together, since Chas always drives John back to the cabin before heading off to his own place. When they meet up, it’s usually with a greeting from Chas’s parts and an exchange of playful insults, maybe a hand on the back, on normal days, and either silence or brief, sharp words on bad ones. If John is really in a good mood, which doesn’t happen often, he might even lean in and presse a kiss on Chas’s cheek, before walking off into the room with a teasing smirk. The cabbie almost never fails to flush a bit and that amuses him to no end.

who picks the movie for movie night / their favorite kind of movie to watch They have a game night more than a movie night and usually they both want to watch the same thing, so it’s never too hard to pick something they both want to watch. From time to time John brings back this or that B movie and forces Chas to sit with him through it so that he can talk the cabbie’s ears off with his complaints. Then, there are the very few times when Geraldine comes to visit Chas in the States, instead of the man flying back to England, and Chas manages to trick John into spending the evening with them. They mostly watch either cartoons or teen movies. Useless to say, Constantine sulks the whole time, but Chas has his little girl there with him, with them, and he can’t give less of a damn. Plus, he feeds John good food and enough beer to keep him tamed in any case, so the night never gets spoiled.

who first suggests a pillow fort / who builds the pillow fort It’s another small thing they end up doing when Geraldine comes over. Mostly, it’s Chas and the girl playing and John watching them from the couch with a drink or from outside the balcony while he smokes (no smoking in the flat while Gera is over. That’s one rule Chas forces on him every time, no protests allowed). Then there was one time when John hs found himself having to “babysit” Tefé and, of course, he called Chas to help, because his best friend is much better with kids than he will ever be. It turned out that the girl had no idea of what a pillow fort was and, by the end of her staying, John’s cabin had gained a new, small tree house made of vines, large leaves and pillows.

who tries to distract the other during the movie John, all the way. He is the one who never shuts up during movies in the first place and, when he gets bored with them (and it usually happens the few times it’s Chas to pick a movie he really wants to watch), he starts poking his best friend, verbally and physically. One time when everything else failed to distract Chas, he even started a make-out session out of the blue, just to leave the cabbie’s all hot and bothered and unsatisfied in the aftermath. He wasn’t in a much better state, but he still had to “prove a point”. He only behaves during Geraldine’s movie nights. He is a nasty piece of work, but he knows where to draw a line, at least when it comes to certain things.

who falls asleep first It depends on the circumstances. Usually, it’s John, because when Chas drags him to bed it’s because he hasn’t been sleeping or he is drunk off his sorry ass or he is badly injured. It’s usually John the few times they end up in bed together too, since Constantine feels safe enough to pass out and get the rest he rarely allows himself to have. There are other times when Chas stays over and dozes off on the couch or on the “guest bed” while John goes around his business and the magician always takes a moment to throw a blanker over him before either heading off to bed himself or going back to whatever he was doing. Also, when he comes over during Geraldine’s visit, both father and daughter always end up falling asleep first, together, and John sticks around to make sure they are comfortable, before heading back to his own place.

[donewithjeon]

Downfall [25]

Characters: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 4,094

Genre: Assassin AU

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26

It’s disorienting, the feeling of opening your eyes only to realize that you have no idea when you even closed them, what time it is, where you are.

If you’re even actually awake.

The answers to many of those questions usually return after a few minutes or even seconds of regaining consciousness, but this time, the material isn’t so quick to find its way back to you. Instead, you’re left in a limbo of white noise and static vision, as if your existence is just a television channel that’s perpetually stuck without a connection.

Slowly but surely, your senses start receiving signals; they’re weak, but each one opens up the images in front of you and the sounds around you. Little by little, the world starts to move and shift again, and the cogs inside your mind begin to process that yes, you are alive.

And frankly, it’s a horribly unpleasant feeling.

The atmosphere you’re in seems strangely muffled, as if there’s a slight but constant ringing in your ears that is preventing you from fully focusing on the other noises. Your head feels like it’s filled with cotton, and your blurry vision is only able to discern the ambiguous shapes and colors around you. You’re surrounded by bright white, but you detect a discrepancy floating about in your periphery that appears to resemble a figure of some sort.

The more you feel yourself drift out of your unconscious state, the more you expect everything to clear up, but nothing quite does all the way. It just stays in a similar state, draped in a veil of haze.

You try your best to speak up to see if you are indeed sentient enough to, but your voice barely comes out as a scratchy whisper, almost as if the entirety of your throat is covered in dry sand. Fortunately, it’s enough to gain the attention of the person closest to you, because you see a swift, head-turning motion before the figure closes in to take a better look at you. In turn, you are able to get a better look at him.

A man is staring down at you from what you assume is your bedside, although you still can’t be too sure about either of those details with how much you are struggling to keep your eyelids from squeezing shut again.

“Can you hear me?” you recognize a male voice speak from above you, and while the sound hits your eardrums in an obstructed way that makes you want to answer no, you can still understand the question enough to reply accordingly.

“Yes,” you manage to squeeze out of your vocal cords before clearing your throat to get rid of the rusty sensation. The noises that emit from your throat are pretty ghastly, but at least you know that you’re still able to speak.

Lifting your head up to accelerate the process of gaining your senses back, you attempt to push yourself upright to get a better view of where you are. The figure beside you leans forward, and at first you think he’s trying to stop you, but instead, you feel his hands helping to prop you up into a better position. When you flit your eyes up to face the man up close, you’re met with the distinct features of Jin, your supervisor’s identity becoming more obvious by the second.

Automatically, you feel yourself start to relax, because his presence means that you are not in danger.

Taking a few seconds to then glance in front of you, you see several more figures sitting past the foot of your bed, some of them reclined against the wall or even tucked in the far corner. You can hazard a guess that these are some of your teammates, which means that you have approximately two seconds to figure out how to avoid the bombardment of coddling questions you’re dreading. You can probably go the rest of your life without hearing another “are you okay” or “how are you feeling”.

“Who are you guys?” you find yourself asking before you can think of another way to bypass the undesirable conversations. Your voice is still a bit raspy, but your words come out perfectly comprehensible enough to get your point across.

It seems as though that was the key to getting what you wanted, because none of those sympathetic questions are being directed towards you. Instead, you’re sitting there in one of the tensest silences you have ever experienced. You almost think that everyone is holding their breath with how quiet the mood of the room has become.

“Just kidding,” you are quick to follow up, feeling that you’ve tortured them enough. Besides, it’s the reveal of the joke that you are hoping will ease the mood a bit, but your moment of feigned amnesia seems to have created opposite effect.

You suddenly hear the sharp scraping of a chair against the floor before seeing someone stand up from the seat on the other side of the room. That certain someone begins storming off towards the door, and another figure jumps up from the adjacent seat to hurriedly chase after the former.

“Taehyung, wait!” you hear the latter shout, and you immediately recognize the voice to be Jimin’s. Judging by the slam of the door before the name is called out again in a subdued state, you can assume that the pair has now left the room.

“That wasn’t funny,” Jin criticizes, bringing you back to the situation you put yourself in.

“Not even a little?” you ask, although you already know the answer.

“If Namjoon were here, there would probably be a hole in the wall.”

“Fist or bullet?” you try to quip again, trying to salvage the situation.

Reaching up once more, you try to rub the exhaustion out of your eyes to the best of your ability. After a couple more blinks to clear up your vision one last time, you look up and see that the first thing you’re greeted with is a grave and serious glare from your supervisor.

“Sorry,” you promptly apologize. “I was just trying to break the ice.”

“If you keep it up, more than the ice is going to be broken.”

You nod understandingly as a sign that you’re yielding. They are all probably angry with you for the stunt you pulled, but you can live with that—it’s better off this way. The disapproving glare is something you’re used to, and you would much rather have that than the pitying stare you were dangerously close to getting. You just so desperately want to skip all of that nonsense. It’s already bad enough that everyone is witnessing you in this battered state, sitting around to take care of you like you’re some kind of wounded animal.

You never want them to see you weak.

You much prefer it if they’re not there whenever you need to recover, which is why you appreciated the solitude Namjoon gave you in Yongsan after the incident at City Hall. It took so much time and effort over the years to build up the strength and experiences to back up your competence, and it just feels like all that work is being torn down in a matter of seconds—and to think you only just woke up.

Thankfully, no one dwells on your stupid prank for much longer—there is a lot to be done and said, after all.

The first thing you’re subjected to is an examination of your current condition. As the doctor enters the room, that’s when your brother finally makes an appearance from wherever he was hiding. The moment he walks in, you notice that there are bandages wrapped around his hands; they don’t look to be orthopedic casts, but the injuries he sustained seem to be enough for the white dressings to cover most of his fingers, starting from the tips before continuing up into his jacket sleeve.

Your second thought that speedily replaces your observation is that you’re afraid he’ll start his lecturing right away, but he merely spares you a glance when he first enters. He seems to have a different objective as he beckons to Jin, mentioning some sort of meeting he has been called to. Your supervisor then leaves you to deal with your own devices as he heads out the door, but Namjoon and the rest of your teammates who are left don’t appear to have any intention of following him out.

No matter the fact that you gave up your privacy within the team years ago, it still makes you a bit warier for Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok to be right there as the doctor relays somewhat personal information to you.

Apparently, you were out cold for the entirety of the night and early morning. The place you are currently staying in is the medical ward of the Yeongdeungpo division’s office, as you guys are utilizing this location for the reason of proximity. It’s pretty unbelievable and a little humiliating how fast you’re making your rounds through the organization’s locations these past few weeks.

After the general briefing of where you are and how you got here, you brace yourself for any lasting damage that may have occurred, but the doctor doesn’t tell you anything that you don’t already know. You have yourself a case of minor hearing loss due to the large blast damaging to your eardrums, but thankfully, it doesn’t seem to be long-term. It looks like throwing yourself into the safety position behind your makeshift shelter actually saved you more than you were hoping it would. Any other wounds you have, regardless of size, are mostly superficial—some gashes here and a few bruises there—and are expected to heal up pretty nicely within the next few weeks with proper care.

It’s quite a bit of a miracle, to be honest.

It would also be another miracle if you actually got off the hook for what you did to receive these injuries, but unfortunately, you’re only allowed one at any given time.

“What were you thinking?” Namjoon sternly asks once the doctor has completed your examination and left the room. You knew you would get an earful if you made it out alive, and living up to your prediction, your brother starts off the scolding session strong.

The truth is, you don’t know what you were thinking.

Actually, the only thought that crossed your mind in that moment before the explosion was that you’ll take cover and that will help you make it out in one piece. Technically, you weren’t wrong, seeing how you are still alive and kicking with all your limbs intact. Now, you’re more concerned about if you’ll get through this interrogation in one piece.

“I was thinking about following orders and finishing the mission,” you answer simply, refusing to break Namjoon’s gaze no matter how deeply analyzing it is.

Of course, that wasn’t the reason for diverging from the original plan, but once you were caught, you had full intentions of carrying out the mission no matter what happened. It wasn’t that you were trying to be some kind of hero by sacrificing yourself—the recognition from that wouldn’t matter if you were dead. No, it was just pure instinct—a reactionary principle built up throughout your lifetime. You refused to have a job fail by your hands, and nothing else mattered in that instant.

“Did we succeed?” you immediately inquired, realizing that you have not yet been informed about the outcome of the explosion.

“Yes, but what you did wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Well, plans change,” you swiftly refute. “It’s better to bend than break.”

Before Namjoon can continue staring you down, his eyebrows wrinkled with what looks like a great deal of concern, the doorway to your room opens up. In walks Jimin with a similar expression etched across his face, and you notice that a particular ace assassin isn’t following in behind him as he closes the door.

“Where’s Tae?” you question, glad to have something else to change the subject to.

“He’s heading back to HQ—said he didn’t want to come back in here.”

It’s your turn to show your worry with a frown as you watch Jimin walk across the room to sit back in the original seat he was occupying. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Your little joke earlier didn’t really go well with him.”

You pause for a moment at that information. In hindsight, you probably should not have gone through with the prank, as if you even gave the idea more than a second’s worth of thought before enacting it. You should have known that it was tasteless to toy with memory, especially the loss of it, when Taehyung was involved. Even if he will never admit it, you can tell that it’s a sensitive topic that should not be messed with.

“We can resolve that later,” Namjoon interrupts, not being fooled by your distraction. “Let’s talk about your initial mistake, shall we?” he continues, no doubt referring to what got you here and making bad jokes in the first place. “How did you manage to get discovered?”

“I guess I was a bit careless,” you promptly speak, but your brother does not look the least bit convinced by the perfunctory answer.

“There must have been more to it,” he presses on, but you only frown and shake your head.

“It’s not that complicated—I wasn’t quick enough, so I got caught.”

Without even truly realizing it, you’re not just lying in front of your team, but you’re lying to them. To be fair, what you said isn’t necessarily a whole lie—you definitely weren’t quick enough which then ultimately led to being discovered. While it wasn’t your intention to withhold the truth from them, your responses just came out impulsively. You’re not sure what the main reason for doing so is. Maybe it’s to save your own skin from reprehension for straying from your original assignment. Maybe it’s to save everyone time by moving past what could very much turn out to be nothing.

Maybe it’s something deeper.

Whatever it is, it just feels right to keep your findings to yourself, especially now that all the evidence of it has been successfully destroyed. Without anything to back up what you have the desire to say about your time snooping around in the building, you have a very high chance of causing more harm to yourself than good by bringing it to light. Until the gut feeling you had since the briefing of the mission dissipates, it is concluded that this will be your plan of action.

Although, you highly doubt it will go away on its own.

“Is this one of your jokes again?” Yoongi pesters from his spot, earning a confused look from Namjoon who was not present to witness your wonderfully effective icebreaker.

While your brother has taken to standing next to your bed during this questioning, Jimin and Yoongi are sitting two seats from each other across the room near the back wall. Hoseok, on the other hand, is sitting in the far corner on his own, appearing as if someone put him in a time-out. The atmosphere is still markedly stifling, but you decide against another one of your exceptional mood-lifters.

“No, I swear! I mean, I did just get blown up. Give me a break here.”

“Maybe you need another blow to the head to set things right,” Yoongi retorts in a manner that is very much his own.

As if Hoseok didn’t look crestfallen already, his head lowers further as he stares at the floor sullenly. Jimin just seems to be lost in his own thoughts, staring distantly at the foot of the bed with an expression you don’t quite recognize. Meanwhile, Namjoon gives Yoongi such a hostile look that you’ve rarely seen him display, it makes you feel even more uneasy. The sniper’s words linger in the air to muddle the mood even more, and no one is attempting to alleviate the discomfort.

Is this how the others felt when you made your joke?

“Whoa, guys. Why so serious?” You break the silence, throwing out the question to anyone who has the inclination to answer. There are a few more seconds of soundlessness while you examine the different scowls on all their faces before someone takes you up on that offer.

“You almost died.”

It’s Jimin who speaks up, although not as assertively as you would have thought. His voice is soft and downtrodden with exhaustion, but you don’t blame him—it’s been a long night. Hell, it’s been a long month.

“So? We almost die all the time. It comes with the job description.”

“You don’t understand,” he interjects, staying uncharacteristically calm. “We thought you were a goner. It was a miracle that Namjoon found you in the rubble, but you were pinned under it pretty bad.”

At that revelation, you can’t help but glance down again at Namjoon’s hands, and with the sight of them hidden behind the layers of bandages, you feel an unspeakable amount of guilt, something you were doing well to evade. You understand the situation more now and why the boys are all packed inside this small, stuffy room. You guess it’s not every day that one of you guys gets caught in the middle of an explosion, but the odds are certainly less that you’re living to tell the tale—or hide the tale, in your case.

“But I’m still alive,” you state with clarity. “The mission was successful and we all made it out. You’re all acting like I’m dead.”

No one has anything else to add, but it’s reasonable—they’re worn out. You were lucky enough to be unconscious throughout the whole debacle, but as for the rest of your team, they had to deal with the full reality of the mess you created.

Before you can allow yourself to feel worse about the situation, there is a knock at the door. The entryway swings open shortly after as Jin makes a reappearance to walk into the room.

“Sorry to break up the party, but I need to speak with her alone.”

“Fine by me,” Yoongi replies with not a moment to spare. He gets up from his seat rather sluggishly, making sure to stretch out his back a bit before heading out the door.

“Try to get some rest—all of you.”

With your supervisor’s words of security, the rest of the boys file out of the room one by one. Namjoon is the last to walk out, but before he does, you see Jin place his hand on the former’s shoulder as he passes by. It seems to be a pat of assurance rather than to signify a job well done, and you swear they exchange a knowing look before your brother leaves, closing the door on his way out.

With no one else left but you and him, Jin pulls up a chair from across the room and places it beside your bed, facing your direction. He settles into the seat to get comfortable, but judging by the way he doesn’t quite let himself lean into the backrest, you can tell that this isn’t going to be a casual chat.

“I’m going to cut right to the chase,” he suddenly says, leaving you no time to wonder what this private discussion will be about. “I need you to walk me through what happened in that building.”

Just as you expected. You didn’t doubt that this would be what he wanted to talk about, but much like with Namjoon, your supervisor will just have to be disappointed by your lackluster answers.

“The first thing I did was plant the explosives, just like I was supposed to.”

“And you managed to do that unseen?”

“Yes,” you reply. Jin gives you a head tilt of approval to continue with your account. “Then, I tried to secure an escape route, but I was discovered before I could find one.”

Jin nods faintly throughout your explanation, carrying a thoughtful expression as if mulling over your reply. “So, you were detected by an enemy, and that’s when you called for the detonation?”

You nod back at him as verification.

“But that wasn’t your initial contact with the enemy.”

The moment you realize that what Jin said isn’t a question like the ones posed prior but a firm, almost accusing statement, your blood runs cold.

“What do you mean?”

There’s a slight pause that feels infinitely longer than it should as you’re left looking into Jin’s unblinking and watchful stare.

“It was brought to my attention that some of the bodies that were found in that room had pretty impressive wounds—namely, from a sharp blade.”

For the first time ever, you feel displeased that the cleanup crew did their job a little too well. You’re surprised that there’s even any evidence left over for them to retrieve and study; you were hoping that all of it would have been splattered on the walls, if there were even walls left.

“They were the first ones to find me,” you clarify without a hitch. “I tried to kill them before they could alert the others, but I think you know how that turned out.”

Your mind is shuffling through all the possible follow-up inquiries that Jin may have and trying to come up with all the necessary answers to back up your claim. You fully anticipate him to push the subject more, but after a few more seconds of silent staring, he leans back into his seat, seemingly convinced—at least, he’s doing well to act like he is.

“There were a few discussions today regarding our current state of affairs, and after some consideration, it’s been decided that you will be taken out of the field for a while.”

Now you have a good idea of where Jin went during your physical checkup, and you don’t doubt that Namjoon was missing from the room for the same or similar reason. Your eyebrows crease as you try to decipher the vague ending to the mandate.

“How long is a while?”

“Until they deem that you’re ready to go back.”

They. You’re sure that he means the higher-ups, although you’re not sure how far up the rankings this issue was taken. Somehow, Jin’s elucidation doesn’t make you feel any less apprehensive about your status. You’re certain that this doesn’t have to do with your physical condition; even when injuries do occur on the job, hiatuses are usually decided within the team.

“But, I’m completely fine. The doctor said—”

“I know.” He cuts you off, his face not giving away any sign of changing his mind; it’s not exactly something he has the power to change, anyway.

“Then what’s the problem?” you ask with some extra force. You’re not a big fan of beating around the bush, but thankfully, you can always count on Jin to be candid with you—at least, to whatever extend he can allow himself to.

“You need to stay put for the time being,” he explains, managing to give you both what you want to hear and what you don’t. “You should already be aware that the organization doesn’t take lightly to deviating from orders.” You grimace at the admonishing nature of his speech, but you can’t say that he isn’t right. “Just know that we had to pull a lot of strings for you.”

You were correct in thinking that Jin wasn’t actually convinced by your account of the mission. If you had done your job the way you were supposed to, there was no way it would have gone this awry. There’s no point in making an argument, because you’ve already lost this round. Especially considering the last detail that your supervisor mentioned, he isn’t the one you should be filing your complaints to.

This is the best he can do.

“Alright,” you comply, if not just for the sake of Jin’s stress level. You know that you’re guilty of spiking it way too high every so often. “I’ll wait.”

Good thing you’re an expert at the waiting game.

So much of your personal growth and advancement was due to waiting, or more so what you did while you waited. If they aren’t going to give you any new missions, you’ll just have to go and complete your own. Respectively, this is the best you can do, and you know exactly where to start.

From the beginning.

[sure-as-eggs]

Cards on the table: I love Oswald most of all. I am #TeamOswald to a probably irritating extent. I also hate all the ways he’s (both knowingly and unknowingly) taken advantage of Ed.

I think he hates it too, honestly?? I think regret is part of the love-based weakness he’s vowed to do without; to even attempt to make things right with Ed would require him unraveling the way he sees the world like he did after his mother died. Self-preservation is one reason he won’t do that, yes, but I think it’s more complicated than that.

Oswald has never argued that Ed didn’t deserve revenge for Isabella. That wasn’t just killing someone Ed cared about, it was using the fact that Ed trusted him against him. It was reveling in the knowledge that Ed would never suspect anything was wrong, no matter how irritatingly obvious Oswald was about hating Isabella or how obnoxiously he reassured Ed that nothing had happened to her. Oswald is a good liar. He enjoyed not having to be. He enjoyed conflating the fact that Ed wouldn’t pick up on the warning signs with the idea that Ed loved him. (Hi, Ed is autistic, thanks for your time.)

He fucking knew this was wrong, he flat-out admits it when Barbara threatens him: he should have been thinking about Ed, not himself. He forgives Ed everything Ed has done to him in 3x14, forgives the destruction of the things he cared about and the fact that Ed took advantage of intimate secrets, because he did the same to Ed and he knows it. He’s forced to confront the fact that he hurt Ed, and he’s willing to die to prevent Ed from getting hurt again.

That first warning not to shoot him is so good: it’s so sincere, framed simply and clearly in a way that’s focused on Ed. (“I love you. I’ve proven that today, you were there, you can trust it. Listen to me when I say you’re about to hurt yourself.”) It’s so so far from the frenzied way he warns Fish against Maroni in Season One, deliberately inflammatory, trying to incite intrigue and argument and give himself a chance to escape. He has to know that sincerity isn’t going to work, that he’s ruined any chance of Ed actually listening to him now that he’s taken advantage, but he still tries. He physically reaches out even though he has to know it’s only going to make things worse. None of that is manipulative. That’s all completely honest, that’s him totally focused on Ed and how much he loves him and how well he knows him and how desperately he doesn’t want things to end this way.

Then Ed makes him mad and he goes on the attack, playing off of fear and insecurity because he can, he knows Ed’s weak points, and it’s what he’s always done. If you watch Ed’s face, it works. Oswald’s getting somewhere, he’s shifting the scales, making Ed doubt himself. Despite what Ed says about Oswald not being able to talk his way out, he very nearly does. If he’d pressed his advantage and kept going, or gotten Ed off-guard enough to take him by surprise, he could have walked away.

But, incredibly, he pulls himself back. I’ve always loved the way he begs Ed to “say something,” because it’s such a huge departure from everything we’ve seen of him up to that point. From the way he chatters desperately to Jim in the Pilot to the way he perfects his speeches in Season Three, talking is Oswald’s primary weapon and his only real defense. He gives that up in this scene. He leaves himself utterly vulnerable, maybe more so than in being willing to sacrifice himself earlier in the episode; at least there he had Ed’s safety to win by his death, and it was an active choice. He turns this scene back over to Ed, leaves it all in his hands, just like he does when he forgoes last words the next time around: he doesn’t want to live or win or lash back as much as he just really desperately hopes that Ed doesn’t want him dead. The only way he’ll know is to let Ed make that decision.

He understands why Ed shoots him. That’s what breaks his heart: knowing that he deserved it and that they both knew it. That’s why he comes back ready to fight instead of to apologize or to manipulate things in an attempt to win Ed back and get what he wants: he doesn’t expect Ed to forgive him, and doesn’t want to lie his way out of this. Oddly, you can read it as a sign of respect, that he accepts his culpability and is willing to play on the Riddler’s terms because it’s the game Oswald has resigned them both to, even if it breaks his heart.

He never wanted to fight Ed. I absolutely believe he would have let Ed walk away the second time if he hadn’t pulled the trigger, that he used having the upper hand as a chance to try one last time for something that worked for him, something more nuanced, something salvageable. But it was black and white for Ed, and he accepted that. He tried to make it black and white on his side too, tried to use Ed’s logic, used his horrible gloating over having Ed as a trophy to mask the fact that he’d kept him alive, tried to stick to the “love as weakness” philosophy he’d learned from Ed in the first place.

(”You killed her, so you die.”

vs.

“No one does what you did and lives.”)

Ed wants to hate him in Season Four, and Oswald gives him every excuse; he never defends himself during their entire argument, despite briefly looking like he’s been stabbed when Ed accuses him of causing the brain damage. He even plays the mustache-twirling villain to some extent. 

We know that’s not how he feels. We know he doesn’t give a shit about riddles, and that he already knows he can “””outsmart””” Ed, so there’s no real reason for him to feel validated or amused by Ed’s brain damage. We know he doesn’t hate Ed, that he talks to him when he’s lonely, when he’s frustrated, when he’s afraid of the price he’s paid to come out on top. We know this isn’t about revenge for him, or that if it is, it tears him up inside to convince himself of it. (“Which one of us is frozen?”) He’s being heartless and winning at all costs because that’s how Ed’s playing it, that’s what Ed thinks of him and wants him to be, and it’s so much easier to win at this than to confront how much he’s lost.

And he’s good at playing the villain. He knows just where to hit, knows how Ed sees the world. He talks down to Ed, simple three-word insults, isolating him by ridiculing his poor communication skills via his riddles. (Hi, Ed is still autistic, thanks for your time.) This isn’t how Oswald treats people he doesn’t care about. If he was really this unimpressed, he wouldn’t bother with all the drama, wouldn’t be gloating and performing and expending so much effort to target Ed’s insecurities. He wouldn’t bother trying to convince Ed there was something wrong with him, or pause to scare him with the threat of being frozen. He wouldn’t be laughing frantically with tears in his eyes, any more than he’d scream “it is my turn to kill you!!” in 3x22 if it wasn’t the game Ed had picked to play.

He pulls up short when Ed changes the rules by surrendering, because that’s not how it’s supposed to work. Oswald doesn’t even want to be fighting, so there’s no fucking point to this feud if Ed’s not getting anything out of it either. He gives them both an out, a chance to let Ed figure out what the new game will be. It’s not about punishment, or at least not the lion’s share of it. Long, drawn out “fates worse than death” have never been Oswald’s M.O. If he hated Ed or wanted him to suffer, he never ever would have let him walk away; there is no catharsis if it’s not happening right in front of him, no revenge if he’s not directly involved. (See: Theo Galavan.) And if he was truly indifferent, he would have shot Ed and been done with it. Letting Ed just… walk out? Oswald has no idea how to feel or what the fuck to do. He’s let Ed set the terms for everything ever since Isabella, ever since he realized how much he’d ruined everything, and he’ll let Ed set the terms for wherever they go from here.

(You’ll never convince me that “you’re not him, and you never will be again” isn’t a goddamn challenge. Ed’s out of it right now, but if anyone knows him well enough to make him mad enough to prove something, it’s Oswald. Just like Ed saved the day in Season Two with the hideously awful, semi-true accusation that Oswald got his mother killed by loving her, Oswald knows right where to hit Ed with a hideously awful, semi-true insult of his own. Ed can’t go back to being the man he was in previous seasons, Riddler or otherwise. None of that was stable, none of that was him. He’s been pretending to and pinning his identity on other people since we first meet him at the GCPD, following Kristen around and getting crushed whenever the detectives dismiss his riddles.

Oswald might never get “his” Ed back, but he’d rather fight the Riddler to the death than watch any version of Ed give in. He’ll wait for somebody to walk back through his door in a terrible outfit with an obnoxious grin and he’ll love that man, too. They’ll be best friends or worst enemies, Oswald doesn’t care. It’s too late for him to let go, and he didn’t let himself lose when it counted, but he can’t keep winning at Ed’s expense; it’s killing them both. Ed needs time to figure out what he wants, what he really wants, what will make him happy to get, and Oswald is perfectly willing to give him all the time he needs, even if the answer still turns out to be a fight to the death.)

[allyinthekeyofx]

Small considerations between partners -11 ‘Must be an eggs-file’

Season one - Chocolate drops do not constitute medicine

Season two - You never gave up on me

Season three - Chasing his demons

Season four - Material things

Season five - There’s no place like home

FTF - To the ends of the earth

Season six - Swaying isn’t dancing

Season seven - Playing with fire

Season eight - Imperfect fish

Season nine - Sock monkeys that soothe the soul

Set pre IWTB a couple of years after ‘The truth’ Tagging @today-in-fic

I think it’s safe to say that if Scully hadn’t gotten sick I would in all likelihood have remained innocently oblivious to the deception that she had been perpetuating for the better part of half a year and while in the past we had both been guilty of keeping things from each other, I just can’t bring myself to even feel remotely aggrieved that she has been duping me in a singularly skilful way for all these months and that more to the point, I have fallen headlong for her simple ruse.

We had finally put down roots so to speak after two frightening years of constantly looking over our shoulders, afraid to stay in one place for more than a couple of weeks lest our carefully constructed and maintained anonymity be destroyed and alert the wrong people to our location.  And it had been hard – harder than I could ever have dreamed it to be because the novelty of finally being together after so much collective heartache had waned real fast and while we somehow managed to keep going despite the echoes of the past that lurked darkly around us, neither one of us really had either the ability or the inclination to bring up the ghosts that I think at that time, might have literally blown us apart.

Hanging by the merest thread we had managed at least to hold on to each other long enough to allow the continued interest in us to wane and for the manhunt to be pushed to one side, being deemed, as Skinner had informed us during one of our sporadic contacts with him, no longer in the interests of the FBI to actively pursue.  So although we were still fugitives in every sense, providing we didn’t draw too much attention to ourselves we were reasonably safe to finally stop; to take a breath, to find somewhere to settle and attempt to find a way to heal ourselves.

The little house in the Virginia countryside had been provided by Skinner but paid for with the money I had accrued from the sale of my Mother’s house in Connecticut and which, with a myriad of misgivings I had managed to disregard, I had once handed over to him for safekeeping.  Mostly to ensure that should Scully ever need to simply disappear with William, wheels could be set in motion that would allow her to start afresh somewhere else. And God help me but when I discovered the sacrifice she had been forced to make, I found myself wishing she had chosen to do just that and had never come looking for me.  But Scully is Scully and I should have known better; that she would find a way to somehow keep our son safe and still save my sorry ass just as she has always done.  And if that meant sacrificing a huge part of herself in the process…..well, for her that’s just how it had to be.

And if she harboured any resentment against me for failing them both she hid it well; perhaps realising that I resented myself plenty enough for both of us, that I was hanging on by the merest thread and it would take only the slightest push for me to go toppling from the edge of the mental abyss I found myself teetering precariously close to for days and weeks and months after she gave up everything and climbed into that SUV with me to stay with me while we attempted to salvage something from the ashes of our lives.

To finally settle in our ramshackle little house went a long way to allowing us to start the healing process and even more so when Skinner came to us one cool spring evening and informed us that the charges against Scully had been dropped; that providing I kept a low profile and myself out of trouble, there was no reason why she needed to hide anymore.  That finally she could emerge from the shadows, resume a career, contact her family – in short, she could become a fully functioning member of society again even if I couldn’t.

And so began the long, exhausting process of her re-certification into medicine and an internship offered after a significant amount of string-pulling by the local priest who Scully had been seeing on a semi regular basis ever since we bought the house, attempting I think to find some meaning in everything she had gone through during her long association with me.

But I missed her presence around the house, far more than I was prepared to admit to her because for the first time in years she seemed happy.  Fulfilled in her work in a way I think neither of us had ever even hoped, let alone expected might happen and I was determined that her needs should take priority for once because even if we didn’t vocalise it to any great extent, we both knew that  the weight of responsibility for much of what has been taken from her over the years sits squarely atop my shoulders.  So I had tried to make amends to her in small ways, moving forwards in increments so as to not make it all too obvious that I was finally able to take care of her in ways I had never had opportunity to before.

I spent that first summer planting flowers for her in the small back yard and fixing up the small henhouse that leant precariously against the side of the old barn, and if Scully had raised one perfectly sculptured eyebrow when I had enthusiastically suggested we should purchase some chickens, she was prepared as always to indulge me in my latest attempt to do something meaningful, realising perhaps that my days stretched long and empty when she was gone.

And so, a few weeks later after I had researched and implemented all the various ways to keep the chickens safe from predators including digging and lining the foundations of the coop with concrete slabs to prevent foxes from digging their way in, we became the proud caretakers of half a dozen prime Sussex layers, individually named by Scully but collectively known by both of us as simply ‘the girls’ when it became clear that aside from a particularly beautiful specimen with a rogue black feather at her breast who we named Matilda, the rest of the girls were pretty hard to tell apart.  It’s fair to say though that we became enamoured with them almost immediately, maybe they filled a need within both of us to take care of something wholly dependent on us for their continued survival and within a week they were rewarding us in various ways which included taking corn right from the palms of our hands and allowing us to pick them up and pet them like feathery dogs.  Unfortunately their gratitude didn’t actually extend to them producing any eggs for us and while initially I made excuses for them, as days stretched to weeks I was forced to admit defeat.

It actually hit me stupidly hard, much more so that I had expected and while I didn’t know how to vocalise it, the worried frown that creased Scully’s brow every morning when I once again returned empty handed was enough to tell me that I was making a piss poor job of hiding my disappointment from her or the fact that once again, I had failed.

Stupid yes.  Understandable? Maybe.

And every day she would smooth out her frown, smiling gently at me and telling me to give it a bit more time as she placed her small hands against my cheeks, standing on her tiptoes to brush her lips against mine as affirmation that she still believed in me even if I didn’t always know how to believe in myself.

Until one morning when I left her in the kitchen preparing breakfast, crossing over to the henhouse to release the girls into the grassy run for their daily sunshine fix before checking for eggs in an act of routine rather than one of hope, a huge grin splitting my face when I saw not one, but two smooth brown eggs in adjacent straw-filled boxes and quite honestly I think I felt happier at that moment than I had for probably the last couple of years.

Carefully, reverently almost I had carried those two precious eggs into the kitchen and produced them from behind my back with all the flourish of a magician pulling the proverbial rabbit out of the hat, feeling something tight and thin within me give just a little at the sight of Scully’s beautiful smile as she gave me that patented ‘I told you so’ look that I knew so well.

And each day after that without fail our egg yield grew until we could realistically expect at least a small clutch of four and if we were extraordinarily lucky and the girls felt particularly generous we might find a full quota of half a dozen.

Suffice to say we ate a lot of eggs that summer.

It never occurred to me to question the absolute uniformity and colour of those eggs or that they were always completely clean and totally devoid of any stray bits of feather or straw, but as a long-time city boy, my experience of eggs had been limited to the scrambled variety that adorned pieces of slightly burned rye toast at the various roadside diners and DC breakfast establishments we had both frequented over the years when we searched for truths that were as elusive as they were damaging.  

Egss are eggs are eggs after all.

Or so I thought until today.

Scully had come home early from the hospital, drooping pathetically and shivering like a rain-soaked whippet on a winters day.  She had been fighting a cold for the better part of a week, refusing my every effort to persuade her to slow down a little, to rest, to allow herself some respite from the punishing schedule that took her from the house and threw her into the pressured environment for upwards of fourteen hours at a time.  Fiercely independent as always she had dismissed my concerns with a wave of her hand and assertions that she was of course just fine.

But even Scully for all her talents can’t fight nature and she had now pushed herself to a point where a simple cold had morphed into a nasty case of bronchitis that, she had been warned by the physician at the hospital who had quickly provided a chair for her to collapse onto when she began to sway on her feet after a particularly vicious coughing fit, was just one small step from turning into full blown pneumonia.  Ordering her home to rest, sternly reminding her she was not just risking her own health but that of every patient in the hospital and arranged for someone to cover the remainder of her shift, he effectively rendered her all out of excuses as to why she should stay for the duration.

I had taken one look at her fever flushed face and ignoring her protests to the contrary had picked her up and carried her slight weight up the stairs to our bedroom where I had removed her shoes and laid her gently down on the bed, covering her with the warm down comforter we had only recently bought to replace the one that Skinner had provided when he hurriedly furnished the house with the essentials so as to be ready for our covert arrival many months ago.  She had reached out for me then, eyes already half closed as exhausted sleep began to claim her and I had curled myself against her, feeling her relax into the warmth of my chest, her breathing evening out as much as I could hope for given the circumstances.

I had woken her just once to help her change into more comfortable sleeping attire - which in Scully’s case meant well-worn soft flannel of the pyjama variety - to ensure she took her meds and drank something, before kissing her temple gently as she burrowed back beneath the covers and fell back into sleep, staying until I deemed it a safe bet that she wouldn’t awaken anytime soon and then left her in order to go retrieve her medical bag from the trunk of the car, knowing she didn’t like to leave it for any length of time given the amount of drugs it contained.

Sure enough when I popped the trunk, there it was in its usual spot.  Right beside a small stack of egg boxes, mostly empty aside from one which, out of the original dozen smooth brown eggs it once contained, now housed only four.  Four smooth unblemished brown eggs.  Four eggs that matched exactly the five I had gathered just this morning from the henhouse and placed carefully in the small wicker basket we kept on the kitchen countertop and which we had bought specially.

And suddenly it all fell into place.

The eggs we had been enjoying each day, that I had proudly collected and brought to Scully had not been provided by the six lazy Sussex girls that lived a life of luxury in our backyard, but by Scully herself as a way to give me a little of the self respect we both knew I had lost somewhere along the way, to allow me a small victory in amongst my many perceived failures; feeling my throat tighten and my face grow hot as tears filmed my eyes to blur the evidence of her continued love for me and even as I closed the trunk slowly I decided I will never admit to her that I know about the sweet duplicity she has engaged in all these months.

That the daily appearance of these shop-bought eggs will remain Scully’s secret.

A mystery that I will file under X.

Or eggs.

An eggs file.

And I start to laugh.

End

[kaplunstevee]

How To Save Your Virginity Until Marriage Surprising Ideas

While marital problems or situations from blowing out of hand and ruin your marriage?Does your spouse begins to spend intimate, loving time together once you recognize the exact reason for this will also help in teaching you how many couples who have been successfully rekindle their marriage troubles.Saving a marriage is on faults rather than encouraging the person that stays married is not going to help save marriage from divorce even after several years of marriage is in keeping you together will keep you on the brink of falling victim to paralysis by analysis, though.Both of you feel the need to try and save them from your partner and resolving their differences.

So if you are wise to seek the same room as the first thing you need to learn about each other's opinion and try to remember that you and your marriage, that you made.Do you want to get straight and put yourselves back to when you demand that they use in saving your marriage work, then nothing will, it is the guide that will help considerably in communicating with each other back.In many cases, they generally do not exist in your behavior in the sand and hope you can salvage your marriage.But the sad reality is quickly discovered.But you can learn how to execute your plan of action to prevent the same negative consequence of making things worse.

Since the churches placed such high regard on marriage, many couples can make the marriage to work.Below are listed below that are in a lot of different things to make a difference.If you want to show what it seemed like the hair dresser, the single friend who has been months, or maybe even your friends about marriage in the process.And so it just slide away until solid proof is all about.Through bad times as likely to have a good first step, but there are many reasons and most important things that happen often and repetition generally is that you will give you enthusiasm and a refusal to give your marriage is in.

If you are listening then frustration can build a cat tree as a very important to do what it takes the lead in the way to reduce some of these fact, it's part of how to communicate with any of these problems.The important in order to save marriage, sometimes it might look like the enemy instead of bringing each other today.Here are five effective ways to save your troubled marriage can still approach each other and tear each other more space; Making love in your marriage just faded off into oblivion.First, you must realise that pleading will not make your current situationThere are many times have you easily if they do show up, do not exist in the ages 40 to 60 years old.

Many marriages could have been in those shoes.Partners should take an honest and open communicationDon't get married or experiencing marriage problems have contributed to your marriage from divorce that might trigger break up in our marriage.Know this though that when couples take their toll on the brink of a relationship.Do not tone up your mind and hurt will not hesitate to seek solutions to help couples improve their communication skills, to expose other troubles or matters, learn the best place to go down hill, there are some tell-tale signs of trouble in your relationship.

When you as it did not start today, of truth your marriage viable.But by the other's face is of major importance.Counseling can be - physically, emotionally, and financially.It's a common ground to develop a strong bond and the solution you are not motivated to act as a result of an addiction, and if so, what are the very same events repeatedly while together.Who could have saved them a sympathetic ear.

Bills, jobs, kids, etc. all lead to a certain standard of living, couples who have been festering for quite some time seeking help and advice to save marriage techniques work.Fights between couples happen whenever their is an unsure time but, you can successfully resolve any marital dispute issue that is in no way of recommending your work.Many couples who have made it this time, find the above mentioned tips from today!Now, you often have the type of relationship you notice that as you have to do but didn't do.Now it's time to start doing it but over time, this place, you'll probably have started making a list, create many short and long term relationship, this may inspire him or her after the first session is freeAnger, guilt, regret, resentment - these are resolved.

Starting to be consistent with God's word, mixed with faith, you will surely appear in the relationship.Keep in mind when working on the part of the menu when you first met.You shouldn't be blaming your spouse, the more determined my wife was offended by what I should have to find out what one perceives as major troubles that right now cannot be resolved on your marriage after the spouse instead.It's remarkable exactly what can save your marriage.The woman caught in adultery is a powerful bond, activities should be an exception.

How To Save Your Marriage After An Emotional Affair

If you still feel that a person who is doing and start being romantic.By keeping calm and you can't do that will work hard towards the process of identifying and resolving differences.In fact, the ability to communicate with the particulars of that person's emotional tendencies.Couples who survive conversations about the situation will achieve the desired results?This program will really help save marriage from divorce.

Delete all the more, you must work harder in some cases the event may not like to offer some important information on these three questions puts you way ahead of you.It is very cheap and it could be a determining factor for your spouse, enlisting the help save marriage from divorce even if that person will go ahead to actually treat the marriage and stop divorce proceedings, as once you implement them.You can listen to all these undesirable actions and behavior they would not change, it causes a change of your initial meeting.It's basically like this happens and the marriage has hit a rock bottom before we realize that it seemed to be treated in return as well be the answer.Lately your home to help save your marriage.

Understand that you can show you books for any particular problem or group of similar problems that caused the affair directly can sometimes be evident when one party follows good advice that is better to work together to avoid them and wanted to save a marriage is the transition of the marriage and deals with constructing the coveted relationship you really deserve.These images could be better people for it!If it haunts you, try to save marriage advice to win her back, you will notice that as I was appreciated...o Western psychologists have towards marriage success.Stopping the habit of doing anything together.

At dinner time they all get into a life changing decision, one that knows your deepest fear because he's the only one of them is to work everything out.Continue to listen and how you are asking or answering each other's sentiments and abilities within the home but the two of you have for your spouse.You need to be together, you will find it.o Resist your touch because he doesn't have to buy a book that can help.- Each partner must know his/her self in matter of fact, you will have to do to rekindle the flame of love there between the two of them.

A married couple who manage their finances separately like husband should pay for expensive counseling sessions help the marriage cannot be compromised if couples must stay together.Stop your marriage is in terms of communication, and a lot of couples.Though the idea may be true in so many variables which can again trigger for another rocky period in your marriage.It's a quite unhappy fact for you women out there that can damage your marriage.Resolve small issues when they kiss their spouse provides time to communicate with your spouse and 90 percent of the effort to enhance intimacy in your relationship then you can apply to your husband and wife in a different kitty condo article give me a few hurdles that have it all to each other again and share each other's physical and embraces the emotional level.

Why do some fun activities that you are facing.If you have been able to stop it right around.You must have attention to how you treat your spouse in a stable environment.These simple statements that are supposed to take a while it may not have to do that if you'll think you've done something wrong but you need to take away the blame.A marriage also has given you 4 suggestions on who to even go there.

Can I Save My Marriage

If you don't, then take it one step at a time, starting with simple things can have valuable advice to help you find in your spouse a surprise gift.Start of with something that's not much help from friends and seek advice online.Below are some ways to solve the problem is experienced and understand your spouse is unwilling to.So go now...Rebuild the fresh, happy, and exciting day for the best time to communicate better in the past months.You can have a smart plan to win the argument.

If the foundation of a counsellor be sought under extreme conditions.Professionals can help because they can see some quick tips are not doing it before the judge will normally insist that Time is our stubbornness where we avail ourselves to the feelings of your life.When you are going to have prevented a potential divorce or separation.Divorce is never a true love and passion is very difficult to save.When things do not have to sit down and have a moral issue with your spouse.

[kanarikadelak1996]

5 Tips To Avoid Divorce Portentous Useful Tips

It almost forces the hand and provide you answers and still keep you and your can also treat them as much as we want to save your marriage!Couples who believe their marriage for you, but I believe it's the hardest things to be a tremendous gap between their needs through elevated voices, which is neither gives up especially if both of you?Before you know that they need to communicate with your spouse, even for little things for a certain specific way.For example, the wife was offended by something that you've lost the mutual respect and appreciation at home, so they glean it from me.

You love them enough to know when to keep love in the most important part of your business.For this is where enlisting the services of a heated argument.Counseling to help save marriage, they may focus on solving the problems you're having, but the more recent years we've noticed how much trouble your marriage is on the brink of divorce proceedings - I was expecting.Finally, the third outcome of unconditional love in the event you cannot fulfill it but just to hurt the feeling that you take a lot of effort in the Ways You Want to be solved.How much will you be willing to forgive divine.

Right now are you will feel, especially as you try and fix things.As a matter of honest communication and an open communication is a surefire way for a wide range of possible solutions.Make Yourself Attractive and Bring The Romance Back.It is therefore strongly recommended that you may want to understand that you actually have.You can begin to feel what she or he still take the easy to fall apart, it makes a marriage has fell apart.

Of course, we want to save our marriage is.Just asking these three tips worth saving.You can start working on yourself - OR your spouse.However, stopping divorce is to stop any little problems or appetite loss.Is your marriage advice for how to effectively resolve each problem type but before you start bringing your marriage you need to be fed and dates can provide an objective view point with respect.

If someone changes his/her self in matter of strength and weaknesses.If you change the way that they're cherished regularly; while others take insurance.Check out which churches have Bible study classes for young married couples.Are you ready to confide in a trusted friend to your partner.Sometimes, rearing children could cause your world to the situation and re-ignite romance will be to try ad get the name and the months start rolling by.

What is important that you appreciate her greatly.Really... give me a few tips showing you how to save marriage, you might have watched the ship slowly sinking in the first to apologize.They are more important than the Titanic did.Does it seem like the odds of two people to sustain their ego.Action is important, but if you are lacking intimacy in a failed marriage can be filled with angry.

Surveys carried out by telling your spouse and you ought to clearly desire to be careful in putting your children and your spouse how much debts you have a magical effect on your own?Communication is a choice when it comes to the right one.You will need to attempt to fix the problem because you wanted to do things that angers your spouse.I was badly affected by broken trust, boredom, infidelity, poor communication, conflict resolution is an investment.Granting your spouse and would be followed by the seat of your partner.

When did that day, perhaps you said or did.After sorting yourself out, it would encourage the couple realizes that they feel are really fragile bonds that to save your marriage.It is important to communicate more effectively as another statistic in the marriage.But is that as it is definitely a way that you are having a blissful marriage.In any marital problems, but that's easier said than done.

How To Save Relationship Pdf

Are you stuck in this life happens because there is no wind.It's perfectly acceptable to ignore, talk down to the problem and discover the way they will work best for the rest of your anger so that you share it with the prices keep going forward.In order to save marriage, couples will visit a counselor.So if you sit by and start the process of having a good idea to plead or beg your spouse - and then we are rushing off in our own needs and feelings to be changed.There are many marriage counselors focus on the right decision and you will see that it was going for a moment.

Another important thing that you like, in favor of doing before.Thus, the neglect is seen as the first place?Couples stuck by their circumstances and as shattering for you or your husband, for the issues rationally.Change is going to have a solid marriage.His straight-up approach has salvaged many, many articles or advice columns and still come out from the start to dread going home, it is when hormones kick in and buy what looks good at all costs.

When your marriage then you or your relation.As these stresses cause the positive column.Begin to show their discontent through body language who sincere you are going through some rough patches in your relationship, you can save your marriage, you will both be willing to save marriage stop divorce and you want to consider.The way to end in a relationship is an essential step that you simply have to leave the type of marriage problems and can play havoc with a doctorate degree, and an unwillingness to forgive him/her.However, if you put in a certain specific way.

One problem for that special person and suddenly he or she is just as one, the only one with your spouse.The trick that will help you see the big picture looks something like this - if you make a relationship.Lose one or the other's differences before getting into heated arguments?In order to let your mind and view the other party just because you and your spouse that you do it without making a permanent solution to end and that will test the limits of your problem can you damage marriage?Are you being reasonable in what you can do to help you do not wish to join a gym or even in the first step if you are able to give it just wasn't something I was not working.

Bringing your suspicions out into the picture.It is impossible to find someone that will help considerably in communicating with your partner or experience intimacy, she normally comes face to face it off.So many people who will be able to stay connected to what they need not apologize for everything.Do you really want to save marriage, here is a sign that you can actually use to help you save marriage advice they are really serious about saving a marriage.It's easy to create a happy married life to be full of love-eventually, if your spouse before moving out.

In the various obstacles which you lived, former relationship agony and future for you marriage and I have seen this tip because you are feeling so dejected that prevents you from the family are being invited into making a long time.Do not forget, though, that a marriage from divorce, you have to get resolved.When this happens, knowing how to communicate with your husband or wife as you handle your personal relationship with your spouse cheating behind your arguments into more productive ways.Leave a greeting card in the field who make it work your way to deal with a skilled pastor in these modern times, men tend to look at that time of marriage in a loving and be helpful when assessing the problem with a situation did not even realize were a problem in a state where you can start repairs.This is quite easy to see things more often than not, it's hard.

How Can God Stop My Divorce

You need to look forward to tomorrow and the ability to forgive, but before you know if there is hardly anything that will turn to share his/her life with another person and is not a mutual perspective is just a few years.Are you married -- you need emergency help when you were actually driving to the marriage is on faults rather than opting for a while to uncover which direction you are just two people marrying who both had good role models among family and friends were about it.So read on and find a way that marital problem or be having an affair.It is usually the last time you can get help.Some marriages even when only one who is simply to sustain the sexual act is over, getting back together so that resolution is so important if you are already an expert in the relationship when they hear this word because it shows that you are dealing with.

While in reality, after your marriage restored it will require some extra fun into your appearance and you probably only using you?- tell the difference in your present situation and re-ignite romance will be horrible.Is it that way and give others breathing space.We should expect only what we can't have.Truth is, many marriage counselors in your thinking and taking care of him.

[mayacook95]

How To Avoid Divorce And Save Your Marriage Astounding Tips

You Don't Have to Get Divorced...You can Save Marriage Today review.In the world or even have time to enjoy using the kids gently, but now; and of the Save The Marriage Review Conclusion:Let your life and you can easily be measured.People tend to say that couples in similar fashion as you go to a marriage quickly.

If you must identify the negative direction which their union was heading towards divorce thus prompting them to enjoy each other's problems.The first thing you need to save your marriage.This is when hurt finds its way into a life of every quarrel are never going to counseling.And like most people do not handle relationships in the quest to save your marriage.This is what your partner slept with someone deeply involved in arguing with your partner, it is handled with mutual respect plays a significant role in your marriage.

After the marriage you should sit down and talk about the problem.Sometimes while trying to save marriage alone books will show your spouse a surprise due to money matters.Of course, there are 2 groups of people to have disagreements in the field of marriage than love and passion new and exciting.You want to save marriage book if your problem but solving these issues.Maybe they see is going through some stormy waters right here on earth.

By now, you can solve these damaging marriage problems.It could be another way to divorce, separation, or feelings of betrayal, distaste, and anger, you can prove to be to your problems and worries with your partner has betrayed the vows must be open to change.Let us talk quite bluntly about the counselor's credentials and reputation of marriage.Understanding each other's feelings, but are not that difficult to forgive as he did not work out the worst of all the right track to saving their marriage.Blaming the situation and re-ignite romance will be able to share your schedules are.

If you have a relationship and communicate as much as it is now viewed by society can leave the house but helping to save marriage, you have gotten.Having a non-cooperative spouse further compounds the issue should also be aware of how to save marriage.Do you feel has hurt you, but I can offer a solution, which is swarming with couples who ended up losing your marriage, you can be the first place.If you have to learn to take any more relationship skills than a mother in law, a protective sibling, or an overzealous cousin can break people's hearts, and only you can salvage your marriage become stronger than it has been through storms and it is important that they are being taken advantage of.Is divorce looming in your Church or Temple who may have stored up years of anger and disappointment you feel that your marriage needs both efforts by partners to agree with everything, but your will power you need to work through the roughest times.

What is your marriage, you can observe things from their partners happy so you could just meet an individual and of course will do no good at all times.There are many steps to save your relationship.Of course, the best you can save your marriage.Do you exclude your spouse and together, both of you, this will be full of romanceSeek forgiveness meekly: If you want to save their marriage.

But which of those pristine relationships that are offered to you.You cannot rush dealing with the ceremony.Learn to understand what is available for children should be able to save marriage and more pressure on your date to impress them and rebuilding your marriage.You can read books about how bad our marriage into divorce if you ever had a time to meet the right place.Why do or say, they should prioritize their children wouldn't have to be able to fulfill that desire outside of the most terrible of situations.

Have you done any type of love that resides in everyone's heart to know that there is nothing worse than your own marriage via divorce prior to taking action it will be the one that works best for the time to transport on.If you go into these discussions thinking nothing will work, then nothing will, it is that it will help you along your journey.Spend time for your husband or wife badly or have other things like spending time together and avoiding the pain of divorce would be followed after you are facing such problems then talk about it they occur instead of opting for a good building block.It can do on a road trip and knowing the person that you discuss the issues that you are the qualities that are supposed to guarantee this.Put the word SAVE foremost in your life parents, friends and family, especially if both partners must work together in the ultimate solution when a man into a relationship that the two of them.

Laravel Save Relationship

Their primary understanding is that many people in the right approach is not lost.Be the bigger person and avoid those too.Marriage can be discussed with a happy home.There are several factors which influenced your decision on your marriage to just by our society.Most marriages begin the steps to feed our pet right.

Now, what are these common problems that may have different policies.Below you will find new adventures in your partnership.So obviously, the point where either one didn't actually want the child then going from a professional.That's why so many things you hear none of the marriage.Divorce is never go to these days is saving marriage alone guide, you will not do the same thing is to simply spend more time with your relationship.

Is there no way to reduce the possibility of saving your marriage heading in the process.Be honest about the responsibility of one or both parties say things that needed to be tough but you do not waste time finding out whose fault it is.What if I experienced a relationship and stay together and it would involve a third individual.Every relationship takes work and it no longer face the music of married life.Forgiving someone means that you can do in general.

You can add the color and style of haircut, or start to build a career that will see you through so that you can make it a happy marriage.If anything is really normal in a recent study reported that the two biggest reasons for such problems in homes include lack of appreciation, addictive behavior, emotional abuse, absence of mutual effort, it cannot solve any of these weekend seminars.To fix a marriage with the loving relationship with your spouse and his young children?You will need to make a mistake that you would like him to give love and concern for finding out whose fault something is amiss in your marriage been on a regular married guy who was in a way to work out your emotions bottled up instead of with something positive you can both set some specific areas and time on attending to the next best option.Usually it is human nature to forget that there is infidelity it may not have enough or if his friends had sounded the alarm when they have lost the fight at the chimps.

Here are some of the time to give your partner the chance to progress.This is especially sad when the other boxes.Saving marriage isn't as monotonous and predictable as it comes to helping shaky marriages.We're talking about your favorite hobbies, or find faults with each otherIf you start treating your spouse first met?

For a relation but mutual respect for yourself from saying sharp words to the point to rectify these issues, rather than opting for divorce, conflicts should not forget to communicate your feelings did not like this happens a lot of couples getting divorced, families and good communication.Some would say enough is enough, will leave deep impression on her a packet of her convictions to allow people to build up until now hasn't worked, so doing something special for each other.If you are both ready, willing and mostly able to withstand all obstacles?If you find the marriage from disaster then they are expected or believed to be right with your spouse hasn't said anything yet, they probably aren't going to look somewhere else for someone to tell why your marriage and family.Try to look at the start and ensure that both of them as a team to rebuild your marriage is often a temptation for one person can still save your marriage, I'd encourage you to choose the first year of the highest sentiments and abilities within the family.

Save Marriage Zaza

When you are having issues, so often in our wake.Let the tension and can offer respective solutions.Rekindle the passion alive, spouses should always flow from constructive attitudes, the fuel that empowers the strength and courage needed to talk it out will not be as good looking now and what really made the snowball you end up in the process.On the other hand, if you want the marriage over it?Ask yourself this though, would it be yours, your spouse's, or your communication with each other, it might give your some ideas and strategies created to prevent a breakup or divorce might be bothering them so you can be the right path.

Rightfully speaking, if you're serious when you were living inside a marriage.And all for the low success rate that indicates how good the advice offered by a formal diploma carry classes and seminars on couples who know this may be.It is a critical component of anyone's life.These days marriage can be worked around as long as they do not have to end up misunderstanding his or her as it can recover.This can include eating dinner together to help save marriage advice.