#and i even TOLD THEM that this is a new discovery for me. that im trying to understand how to be my own person

[thepromisedbride]

i don’t talk about bridgerton on here but just to clarify. i will not be having ANY eloise hate on this account. i will bite.

[frogathy]

me crying because its so hard to get people to just listen to me

[stxrvel]

intrusive (4)

series summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life? pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader. content. THIS IS EDITED!! there are new scenes!! 16/9. first of all, english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes! sadness, lots of mixed feelings, self-hatred, flashbacks, flashbacks. a/n. hi guysssssssssss. its been a while, i know and im so sorry. i hope this chapter doesn't feel too rushed. truth be told, between life issues and that i've been having trouble with inspiration for scenes it took me a while to build this, but surprisingly i'm pleased with the result. now, where do you think we're going and what will we do from here on out?????? surprises come, surprises go. thank you all for your continued support!! i really appreciate the feedback from all of you and reading your comments makes my days. for those who are still here, thank you. see you next time!

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There were too many loose ends to tie up. There were too many empty spaces, too many misunderstood moments that kept your hair standing on end every so often or every time you remembered. They were like gaps, things you didn't know how they had gotten there, how they had happened, or how someone else knew. And you were accumulating them, suspicious, somewhat delusional and paranoid if you asked anyone, but they were held in that space in the back of your head waiting for the right moment to come out.

Between moments of lucidity and memories of the past, there were many things you had superficially let slip by.

Yuna was in front of you, her brow furrowed in concentration and her eyes almost square from the amount of time she had already spent in front of the computer. You had been at it all day, so the moment your friend appeared like it was her own living room and everyone acted like it was nothing out of the ordinary, you just plopped down on the couch with a calm expression, waiting for the perfect moment to let certain things out, to ask certain questions.

There were moments of enlightenment, there were moments of brilliant discoveries. And that day you had discovered something you had forgotten because of the brevity of its recognition, but in retrospect it was something worth knowing, even if there were still too many things, more important things, of which you were ignorant. At that moment, all gathered in the living room of your parents' house, the most important thing was what was on your mind.

“Yuna.”

Your friend barely shook her head in acknowledgement of her name. Your parents were arranging the table in the middle of the couches to settle lunch, surely a big feast like every other day for the past few days and the only reason Seojun took virtual classes that day, and your brother was ogling the dishes with his mouth ajar. Eugh.

But none of them were paying too much attention. Food, social media, ordering, direct messaging, arranging the geometrically correct dishes… everyone had their heads in their own world, and that's why you could hear the moment your father's hair touched the ground when you asked:

“You were the one who set up my book booth at the last convention?”

Four pairs of eyes bore into you.

“What?”

You looked at her expectantly, not letting the mischief interfere with your plans.

“No…! I didn't-I mean, what are you talking about?”

Yuna let out a nervous laugh, just after correcting herself when she got a blunt look from your mother. Your father stood stiffly behind his wife, the frying pan in his hands wobbling so clearly that a few drops of the soup dripped onto the wood of the floor. Your mother leaned over, leaving the plate she was carrying on the table, sending Seojun a look that caused him to swallow his saliva sonorously.

The scene was so comical that you really had a hard time not bursting out laughing.

“It's just that when I talked to Sol this morning she commented something…”

You let the words hover in the air, straining them each time it came to one of them. Yuna straightened up, completely forgetting about the computer for a second, peeling her back off the couch where she was leaning on the floor. Your father snorted in surprise so hard that he was attacked by a cough and your mother had to take the frying pan away from him before he watered down all the soup from all the shaking. Seojun hid behind your mother's legs and you just plopped down on the couch, stretching your legs over the armrest, satisfied with their reactions.

“And what did she say to you, honey?”

Your mother was the most composed, finishing arranging the dishes around the pan while your father had run out to the living room for a glass of water. Among the foursome, your mother was the only one who truly knew what dissimulation meant. You had no doubt that her sisterhood with the others in the room would end once you told them you already knew everything.

“She told me she was afraid I hadn't been able to see what you had done for me,” you frowned looking up at the ceiling, looking genuinely confused. “And it was weird, because we were talking about the last convention.”

Yuna let out a laugh, incredulous.

“And why would you be talking about that with Sol?”

Putting the antics aside, you stood up on your forearms and glared at her.

“Why did you do that?”

“What did I do?”

“Sol told me it was your idea.”

“That's not true!”

“Ah…” you held a hand to your forehead, as if you had just remembered something important. Your gaze swept around the room and Seojun cringed when your eyes landed on him. “True. She said it had been your idea.”

Before Yuna could send a warning glance at your brother, Seojun raised his hand and pointed at your friend, exclaiming:

“It was her idea! It was all Yuna's idea! Tell her mom!”

The two aforementioned closed their eyes, taking a deep breath and bringing their fingers to the bridge of their noses. Their expressions of ennui were unmatched and promptly Seojun was cringing for a completely different reason.

“You're such a jerk,” Yuna mumbled, almost barking in the direction of the poor man seeking to escape his mother's lethal gaze. Instantly, your friend turned her gaze in your direction, meeting that amused look that curled her annoyance just for a millisecond. “I thought you'd be more upset.”

“I was,” you lifted a shoulder, leaning back against the back of the couch as you listened to the string of scoldings your mom was in between yelling and whispering to your brother. “But it's impossible not to see reason when you're talking to someone like Sol.

Yuna also nodded in consideration. It was something that, not just the two of you, but all of Sol's workers agreed with. Sol had a warmth about her, a homely feel to her that made you automatically trust her and take it for granted that, if she told you everything would work out, it was because it would; whether it was by chance of the universe or because she would see to it that it did.

“Then it was a good thing you heard it from her mouth and not your inept brother's,” Yuna sent her another withering glare and you couldn't help the smile that twitched your corners as you watched your mother move the bowl of tteokbokki away from her grasp. It was so funny to see that he didn't always get the baby of the house treatment for a change.

“Were you planning on taking that to your grave?”

Yuna turned, arching her eyebrows. With her lips set in a thin line, you knew she was thinking about choosing the right words to answer you, even though that thing they'd done had led directly to the fact that, at that moment, you'd been able to afford the luxury of asking for vacation for the first time and focusing on what you truly loved to do. Even if they had worked behind your back, the result had not been so fatal.

If you took a few unwanted people out of the equation, that is.

Your friend finally softened her gaze.

“No, I knew you'd find out at some point. From whoever's mouth. A secret can only be kept from so many people.” Yuna rolled her eyes, moving to listen to your father complain from the kitchen. “But I didn't think Sol would tell you so openly. Was it on purpose?”

“Yes. I think she was trying to convince me or make up for something. I'm not sure which.”

Yuna raised her eyebrows, cocking her head in tension for barely a second. If not for the years you'd known her, you probably would've interpreted her short-lived reaction as genuine curiosity, the desire for a tidbit of gossip. But your friend's tension was palpable and it was something that left you wondering a bit, especially when she didn't speak until your father returned to the kitchen.

“Honey, I think I'm going to get a sore throat.”

There were too many loose ends to tie up. There were too many empty spaces, too many misunderstood moments. There were too many things you were still ignorant of and had no idea about; things far beyond what was happening in the present.

There were things you still didn't understand, like why and how Jeon Jungkook, the country's most famous idol and probably one of the celebrities most likely to have easiest facial recognition on the street, had so stealthily stumbled upon your whereabouts or why he had acted as if seeing you again was a reunion with his lost puppy from years ago.

“Are you still upset, noona?”

Seojun watched you warily, your sidelong glance leading him to cower once more behind your father. With lunch settled and the tension gone (barely), you all had been able to enjoy an enjoyable moment. After all, the dense atmosphere that still lingered was only due to the fact that teasing Seojun was fun and more satisfying when you had no reason to do so.

It all came from a great consideration that your family, and even Sol, had for you, trying to support you however they could, even if you didn't even seek their help. As much as you wanted to (and didn't really want to) there wasn't much reason to get angry. Less so when the outcome, likewise, had been favorable.

“We should focus on what's important,” Yuna dipped her spoon into the almost non-existent conversation, finishing her meal and leaving the plate practically glistening, to which your mother was able to sketch a satisfied smile. “We have a meeting this afternoon.”

“Ah. Yes,” Seojun nodded, remembering his place as the second-in-command of the business, because you had actually been relieved of any position you might have held in your own business. “As the person in charge of the treasury of this company, I must admit that the decision made is the most appropriate and in our best interests.”

Yuna narrowed her eyes, seeming it was almost impossible for her to ignore your brother's annoying presence.

“What have you contributed to this business to call yourself the person in charge of the treasury?”

“I've done a lot for this project! Besides, you are focused on advertising. You should be in charge of the public relations department.”

“And I can't handle both?!”

“I set up all the lines of communication with the delivery people and organized the accounts with Dad!” Seojun pulled Dad's shirt collar, pulling him close to his face with a frown. Your dad only let him be, as he savored a wing. “You took charge of net with mom. We can't reverse charges now. Experience and reality speak for themselves.”

Yuna clicked her tongue, irritated.

“Whatever,” shaking her head, she flipped the computer on the table so Seojun and your parents could get a good look at the proposal you had accepted, after arduous study over the weekend as a family. “After a long board meeting, which stretched over the entire weekend, this was the accepted offer.”

You could almost see the zeros running in your brother's eyes, with a budding smile making its way across his face. Your parents looked pleased, proud. And Yuna kept that determined expression; she was really taking all this seriously and you didn't know yet how you could thank her for it.

“Ah…” your mother sighed, holding a hand to her chest. “It's finally happening.”

When she sent you that look with the sparkling eyes you couldn't help but shrink back on your spot on the floor.

“Mom, I think it's best we avoid getting too excited until we've signed.”

Your mother nodded, closing her eyes and breathing to keep her composure.

“Accepted the offer, we were summoned to their facility, which is where we will be heading after resting from this delicious lunch.” Yuna smiled radiantly in your mother's direction. Sometimes you wondered if she wasn't missed at home. But… no, she was much better off here.

“My children have to rest very well to make the best decisions at that meeting,” your mother nodded, stroking Yuna's hair superficially and getting up to pick up the dishes. Seojun got up to help her, but your father stopped him, keeping the warm smile on his face. Of all of them, your father was the most expressive, but you knew that at that moment he was holding back only because at the slightest he would burst into tears. And yes, with a simple glance in your direction, his eyes watered and he had to run away hugging the dishes against his chest.

Seojun sighed dramatically.

“I wish they had been this excited when I entered college.”

Yuna moved across the table, smacking him on the forehead that left him with an instant redness.

“What are you talking about, idiot? You celebrated all weekend.”

Seojun didn't respond, touching his forehead with a grimace. Yuna snorted, not believing your brother's audacity, and turned her focus back to the contents of the proposal you had received from Noble Publishing Apgujeong. You still remembered the screams that had echoed throughout the house when they found the letter from that publishing house in the mail, the most prestigious and probably the highest one could aspire to in the world of writing and for the purposes of editing and publishing. There wasn't a book published under that publishing house that wasn't a success, and that they had sought you out themselves was a great privilege.

“Speaking of celebrations,” Seojun took the floor again, when your parents had finished taking the dishes away and agreed that you would wash them all together before youo left for the publishing house, because nothing was good enough, ”I don't think we've had a moment to at least pop a champagne and celebrate this.”

Your parents remained thoughtful, but you were already shaking your head when Yuna spoke:

“It's true,” her frown said she couldn't believe they hadn't done it yet, but between so many chores, to-dos and new things you were discovering on this new path, you couldn't just take the luxury of doing nothing for a few hours. There was a lot to work on. “We should do it after the meeting. With the contract at home, it will be much better!”

Your father and Seojun cheered in agreement and your mother gave a few claps.

“You're working tomorrow, Yuna.”

“So what?” your friend frowned at you. “Do you think it'll be the first time I've gone to work with a hangover?”

Your mom's throat clearing startled her, and she quickly melted like pudding with a sheepish grin.

“But this time it will be for a good cause…and it won't happen again.”

Your mom nodded, not very convinced.

“Incidentally,” Yuna regained her posture, sending a glare at Seojun, ”we could have y/n finally watch the video reactions of her books.”

“You haven't seen them?” Seojun exclaimed and suddenly the four pairs of eyes felt very threatening.

“… no…”

“Mom?? Did you hear that?!”

“Sweetheart!” your father exclaimed, looking at you as if he had heard that you did something worthy of banishment. “Why haven't you seen the videos, don't you know the good things they say about you?”

“The compliments,” your mother nodded. “Almost the entire internet loves your books.”

“That's an exaggeration, mom…”

“How did you even avoid all that hype?” Seojun asked, leaning over the table. “Even Dad's TikTok wasn't spared, and he only watches National Geographic videos.”

“…I muffled a few words.”

A roar of incredulous refusals followed your words and promptly everyone was moving to corner you against the couch so you had no escape.

“There is no time to waste.” Seojun nodded in Yuna's direction and it offended you too much that the only times they agreed was to do something against you.

“Mrs. l/n, I think dessert will be popcorn,” Yuna moved her computer closer to the center of the table as Seojun settled in behind you, each of your parents on your sides as your friend opened the TikTok web app.

“Hey, no… no. I'm not ready to watch this. I'm not-”

“Nonsense, noona. Even better, this will give you a big confidence boost for the meeting this afternoon.”

You didn't believe Seojun at all. Your nerves were on edge as Yuna moved to sit next to your brother and the first words of the first video echoed in the living room:

“My honest opinion of the A Million Swords trilogy…”

-

“Do you think I might publish any of these one day?”

Your fingers drummed on the keyboard of the desktop computer, watching the letters spinning a story that no one yet knew. No one, except for you and Taehyung at that moment. His gaze was confused as his dark eyes hid behind the dark, unruly, damp locks of his hair. For a pool day, you couldn't have had a better time than writing parts of your still unfinished story, the one you used to run away to when you had a whole reality to mold in front of you. Maybe you should have paid a little more attention back then; attention to details, to gestures, to distances, to forced smiles; maybe if you had paid that kind of attention you would have been able to foresee everything that would happen later… maybe then it wouldn't have hurt so much.

But at that moment, at 14, you could only see with stars in your eyes the enormous possibility that you thought writing would open up for you; the world you were about to discover, much farther away than you thought.

That weekend the pool party was at your house. Jimin had brought a gigantic inflatable pool withJungkook and they all kept splashing water in each other's eyes in the backyard. In your prolonged absence, surely, Taehyung had ventured inside the house to the only place he would know you would be if it wasn't next to them.

“Do I think? I'm absolutely sure.”

Taehyung shook the droplets slipping from the ends of his hair all over your face.

“Tae!”

“Why are you doubting it?”

“I never said I was doubting it.”

Your friend took one of the armchairs that each of the boys had recast in your room, which no matter how much you pulled them out always ended up there again, to sit next to you and watch the unfinished paragraphs on the computer screen. There were four armchairs already gathering dust in the corner of the room that you still hadn't had the heart to take them out.

“Look at that,” the brown-haired man moved his face closer to the screen, splashing more water on you, with a mischievous grin. “It was desire that stirred me, far beyond the reach of reason or any cognitive faculty. In the depths of my being, I knew with unshakable certainty that I was right. Their gaze scrutinized my every expression, searching for ways to break me, while their fingers, far from innocent, accused me relentlessly. Yet, even as the weight of their scrutiny bore down on me, there was no realm, no dimension in this vast, boundless universe where I had not chosen him above all else. Not even as the streets ignited, the houses crumbled to ashes, and the roar of thunder drowned out the cries for mercy…who writes like that?”

“y/n!”

Your other two friends appeared, reveling in the unapproved reading of the first draft of your first novel, and you felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment.

You moved quickly to press the off button and your friends barely let out a short laugh.

“Don't ever do that again.”

“Then don't ever doubt you again.”

“I wasn't doubting! It was just a question…”

“She just wants you to be honest, Tae.” Jimin entered the room, moving right behind his friend and flashing a smile that made your hair stand on end.

“Honest...?”

“Shut up, Jimin.”

The aforementioned barely let out a laugh, under the scrutinizing and confused expressions of his other two friends.

“What do you mean?” Jungkook spoke, trying to gain ground in that unfamiliar room, clasping his hands in front of him in nervousness. He didn't even understand why he was nervous, he just knew he didn't like the obfuscated expression on your face.

“Nothing, Junkookie, Jimin's just an idiot who only knows how to spout rubbish.”

“Rubbish? Where do you even get those words from?”

“I learned it yesterday in literature class!”

“Uh-huh…”

“Stop it, Jimin!”

-

He wasn't a person to be caught off guard. His cautious attitude was something he had developed over time; with the experience of going through and surviving difficult situations; with the toughness of making strong decisions and constantly bearing the burden of being at fault for their consequences.

So no, Min Yoongi took it upon himself to plan things around him so meticulously that every aspect of his life had a place and a time; an hour and a second.

A planning so perfect that at that moment it was slipping through his hands like sand. His friend… no, Dohyun could do nothing but rest his hands against his desk sending him an obfuscated look, trying to look almost as disgruntled as Yoongi was at what he had learned would happen in that office.

“Of all the things I thought you could tell me…” Choi Dohyun shook his head, and on his face Yoongi could tell there were no words that could qualify his surprise. But he was surprised too, to be honest. He didn't know how he had summoned the fortitude to move so quickly from across town, from his study, to arrive at Dohyun's office and blurt that out to his face as if it were any Tuesday afternoon, as if he were simply inviting him to dinner at his house. “I've never underestimated you, Yoongi-ah, but this…”

“Who contacted you?”

“Who contacted me?” Dohyun let out a laugh, which felt a little heavy to Yoongi as he shifted his weight on his feet. “What makes you think I can't recognize a good deal from a distance when I see one? They call me the Shark for a reason, don't you think? I smell business like they smell blood in the sea.”

Yoongi clasped his hands at his sides, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Dohyun, who looked up and barely ran his tongue over his teeth before plopping back down on his ergonomic chair.

“The decision is already made,” was all he said to him, generating a flutter of emotions inside Yoongi.

“Who contacted you?” Yoongi insisted, feeling time slipping through his fingers. “How did you find out about… this?”

Dohyun let out a laugh, bordering on sarcasm and disbelief. Yoongi would've taken more time to think about it there, to ponder what he was doing, what his impulses were pushing him to do. But within the framework of his decisions and conflicting feelings, Yoongi had taken a path that he could no longer undo and the least he could do was avoid was to generate collateral damage to someone. Just for the chance to try, even though the probability of having the universe in his favor was microscopic, he decided not to give in to reason.

Maybe he would still be the villain in someone else's story, but in his conscience… maybe… maybe he was right and was looking for no way to excuse himself; to excuse things he could no longer change; to excuse behaviors he could no longer erase and decisions he could no longer undo.

Perhaps, too, it was the price he had to pay for what he had done. For what he had said; for what he had not said; for what he had done and what he had not done; for his action and his omission; for his perpetration and complicity. If Yoongi had known that time in his twenties that such a decision would have taken things so far, so close to the impossibility of healing, he surely would not have made it .

But to regret now, what good would it do him? To mutter apologies now, what good would it do him? To dig through the fibers of an unbridled heart, what good would it do him?

“Yoongi. I am the head of the largest publishing house in this country. If you thought I was going to see fluttering around the internet this opportunity in a million and as an entrepreneur and investor I wasn't going to take it, who are you taking me for?”

He should've dragged Namjoon away when he saw him in the parking lot, because business was his forte and not Yoongi's. Yoongi might as well cringe at Dohyun's words because how was he going to refute them. He had come with fortitude, yes. He had come with resolve and determination, yes; believing that this decision was the right thing to do, the least he could do right. And yet, at that crucial moment, with everything against him and the swords at his neck, Yoongi had his arms crossed again.

Maybe he should've dragged Namjoon along, but… how would he know if he was on his side?

“But don't worry. I'll try to keep you apart. You know I always separate personal matters from my work.”

Dohyun was a professional liar. If telling lies were a profession, Dohyun would quadruple the fortune he now boasts as the owner of the country's largest publishing house. Yoongi hated the way he covered up his poisonous words with honey, as if he couldn't see through the thin texture of the liquid how everything was corroding around him. And Dohyun was not his friend, if he wasn't sure before, he was now.

It's business, Namjoon would say, as rational and objective as ever; a businessman can't have someone around who attacks his vision, his business, that's an enemy.

Yoongi right now was a blob of green soup on Dohyun's pole, about to walk to an important meeting where he would close a million-dollar deal. His insignificance bordered on indescribability, but his diminutive presence was big enough to be considered a splinter in the foot.

The phone rang, breaking the tension in the atmosphere, and instead of answering it, Dohyun sent a glance toward the oak doors and then to Yoongi's limp body. Clasping his hands once again, it shook him inside to think that once again he allowed himself to be trampled. Once again, he was going to be the misfortune in someone's life.

“They're already here,” Dohyun almost muttered, an amused expression on his face. “You can leave now or you can stay and watch.”

Yoongi knew he'd be happy to have him there, watching him bite his tongue, trying to swallow his embarrassment. And wouldn't it be simpler to just leave, to brush against the fate he once let slip away as if it were something so trivial that it didn't tear a piece of his soul to even think about it; to brush against an opportunity he missed, selfish and presumptuous, as if he were the only one whose heart was beating with pain that day.

“I've never asked you for anything…”

“And neither have I,” Dohyun interrupted him, raising his gaze serenely, lifting his chin to acerbic dominance. “And all I'm asking you now is to stay out of my business.”

And Yoongi would've had to agree with Namjoon, because business and money definitely change a person. No one can rise to a high position, of Choi Dohyun's level, without having scored a big armory and a few degrees of tough personality willing to kill to get what they want.

“I received you out of courtesy. To Jin. But I won't tolerate another second of this.”

Dohyun mumbled, and the moment he brought the phone to his ear, Yoongi knew he had lost. Again.

“Hyung…” Yoongi closed his eyes, helplessness winning out over reason, the word sour in his mouth.

“No. I'm sorry, but no. It will happen. Just make your decision, I don't want my guests to wait too long.”

He didn't know if the grinding of his teeth was as loud as he heard it in his head. He didn't know if his behavior was over the top or understandable. He didn't know if he had a right to those emotions or if he had lost it more than ten years ago. Well, ten years in her head. He didn't know if he deserved that moment; to share that space and time and catch off guard someone who could become as cautious as he was now; because if Yoongi learned from anyone to be the way he was today, it was because of her.

He didn't know, in retrospect, if he ever made a good decision in his life.

-

i reeaally want to know your thoughts on this one!! re-edited!

tag: @rinkud @futuristicenemychaos @pastelpeachess @parapiop7 @kokoandkookie @midiplier @thunderg @lizzymizzy-blogg @ladymorrie @butnotmontana @lovelgirl22 @jjeonjjk7 @aurorathi @ot7stansthings @kunacat @borahaetelevision @mylovingstars @ghostlyworld @talyaaas-blog @slowlyshycomputer @jjk174 @maynina @saintomie @damn-u-min-yoongi @juju-227592@yoongznme @queenbloody @leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesworld @zippaur @v4ksk4tz @kookierry @idk179634 @canarystwin @elliott-calls @devilzliaison @butnotmontana @ismelllikechlorine247 @19yearoldjstryingtolivelife @thatgirliehan @yuuuumii @welcometomyworld13 @sugarbaby69x @whoa-jo @chaotickyrith @dreamerwasfound @darlingz99

[fannyspammy]

Butterflies

Adam Warlock x Reader

Summary: Adam has never felt the way he feels when he’s with you.

Warnings: none ! just a lotta fluff on fluff on fluff hehe hence the cheesy title. There aren’t really spoilers i think unless you count the location maybe? Idk it’s pretty general imo

A/N: watched gotg 3 twice over the weekend & im obsesseddd with this man lol. Might make this a series of firsts with Adam if yall would read it 👀 lmk if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters!

[not my gif]

He was built like a man — perfect in every way with his chiseled body & god-like strength — but he had the innocence of a child. And y/n loved that about him. He was the purest person she knew, embracing every new experience & every new discovery with such wonder. And she loved that she got to share so many firsts with him.

Y/n always smiled to herself when she remembered the first time he told her he had feelings for her. Or tried to, at least.

They were sitting in silence on a roof in Knowhere, people-watching. They’d come there every afternoon since meeting after the defeat of the High Evolutionary. Having lived in Knowhere with the Guardians before the attack (his attack, ironically), y/n knew all the spots for when you needed a moment alone, & when they’d met, she could tell he was someone who needed that space to just be.

So she introduced him to her spot, & they’d been coming ever since. But Nebula had needed their help with a few tasks that afternoon, so their daily retreat was pushed later into the evening. By this time, the community was out in the streets, dancing & playing & having fun. Music & laughter filled the air, & the faint scent of liquor presented itself as everyone began to drink the night away. It was getting late & y/n was getting tired, so she scooted closed & rested her head on his shoulder.

Y/n felt him tense at the initial contact, before quickly relaxing and melting into it, laying his head on hers. After a couple minutes he spoke.

“Y/n, I… feel something.. when I’m with you.”

She looked up at him without moving from her position, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “Hm?”

“Something.. warm. Tingly? I-I don’t really- how do I- it’s hard to explain…”

Y/n giggled at his flustered attempt to explain himself.

Adam sighed & tried again. “I.. care about you. A lot. But it’s different from the way I cared about my mother. Or Blurp. Like, I want to be with Blurp all the time & hug him & cuddle him, and I want to do the same with you, but in a different way. But I can’t explainhowit’sdifferentitjustknowthatits-”

“Adam!” y/n said with a laugh, stopping his rambling. She lifted her head from its resting place to look at him, amused. “Slow down!”

“See! When you smile at me like that I feel it!”

Y/n bit her lip to restrain the smile spreading across her face, her brows furrowed in thought.

“Can I try something?” She asked. Adam nodded.

“Do you feel it when I do this?” Y/n gently brushed a lock of hair away from his face. He nodded again, slower.

“What about.. this?” Y/n brought her hand down to his shoulder & dragged it down slowly to rest on his chest. She felt his heartbeat quicken.

“I feel it more now.”

Using her other hand, she grabbed his arm to raise it between them, and then placed her hand on his, gently interlacing their fingers. “This?”

His heartbeat quickened again and he nodded. A curious smile spread over his lips.

“I feel it right in my stomach.. almost like it’s.. like it’s fluttering. Like-”

“Butterflies.” Y/n said, finishing his sentence.

Adam nodded again, excitedly, like she’d just solved a puzzle he’d been stuck on for days. “Like butterflies!”

Y/n leaned in closer, resting their intertwined hands in his lap. “Adam, you like me,” she said with a teasing smile on her lips.

“Well yeah, you know I like you. I like most people. Except the ones I need to fight, which used to be you & our friends but now I like you guys.”

She chuckled and pressed her head against the nook of his neck, back resting on his chest, pulling his arm around her, fingers still locked together.

“No, Adam. I mean you like like me. Like, romantically.” She tapped his torso with her free hand. “That’s why you feel all warm and gooey inside when you’re with me, or when I touch you. You having feelings for me. Romantic feelings.”

“Romantic…,” he whispered to himself, then paused shortly. “Do you like me too? In the romantic way?”

Y/n felt his chest tense as his breathing hitched, anticipating her answer. He may not understand his feelings yet, but he knew he wanted her to feel the same way. She squeezed his hand softly in reassurance.

“Mhmm. I like you a lot.”

He eased beneath her & then was quiet for a moment, as if deep in thought, processing the new feeling he had just discovered.

Then he held her tighter, and she felt him smile as she melted into his embrace.

“I like liking you. It feels nice.”

[heartilywrites]

Hello! You’re literally my favorite korra x reader writer and im ITCHING to read more 😞 if its not too much could you write a fic on korra x f!reader where reader is popular with girls in republic city (kinda like a mini celeb) and one of the girls get too close to reader which upsets korra and reader makes it up to her by bringing her flowers and taking her on a date 😋

𝓛oved You First ; Korra

request guide | masterlist

resume: where you are Varrick's newest actress

content warning: fluff ; a liiiitle bit of angst, if you squint enough you can see it ; Korra x fem!reader ; established relationship ; nation and bending status not mentioned! ; at least, she's not from the fire nation, that is confirmed ; no use of y/n

wc: 2.1k

a/n: HI GORGEOUS:D this one is such a fun idea, thank you so much for requesting and for your words hope i met your expectations <3 ENJOY :D

،، Everybody wants to love her like that.

Acting had always been a dream of yours.

Maybe an unsupported dream since everyone told you that theater doesn't make a good career path, but then again, who cared? It was only until Varrick started to do movers that your enthusiasm came back.

The man was preparing a new series of movers where they tried to use Nuktuk to start a whole franchise for different nations to later on make them a group of invincible heroes and the next star was going to be a firebender fighting against a group of different benders –ah, yeah, he wanted to use the Red Lotus as inspiration.– and his idea was for the firebender to be a woman.

You didn't know about this new idea of his since you didn't really have an agent or agency, but Bolin was the first to tell and recommend you after you helped him with some acting lessons back when he was Nuktuk. Varrick held an audition with you and decided that you would be his next big discovery and so it happened, even if you weren't a fire nation citizen.

By the time the mover started rolling, Korra would make you company almost everyday of filming, cheering for you after the director would yell 'cut!', sitting next to you to talk about either the scenes or anything else to keep you mind off the set when you'd get nervous about next filming scene. She would help you with firebending moves in your trailer after getting ready and a kiss of good luck was given each time you would go back in front of the camera.

It was clear that Korra supported your new career, she always had your back even a couple of years back before starting dating she would always look after you. The avatar was the best thing to ever happen to you, you would always think to yourself everytime you looked at her, there wasn't any question about how the love felt was strong and reciprocated for both of you.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “CUT!” the man yelled, satisfied with how the fighting scene went. You let out a sigh of relief while resting your hands on your knees to catch your breath. “One second, fire lady, I just need to check something.”

Korra took advantage of the distraction to walk to you, she hugged you by the back once you straightening back up. “You were amazing, miss fire lady, you should do those fighting moves with me.” she said giving you a tiny kiss on your shoulder, you laughed at her comment.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I would, if someone didn't cheat with her bending techniques.” you turned to face her with a smile, your arms rested on her shoulders. Now it was her turn to laugh before a soft kiss was exchanged between the two of you.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “HEY! STOP MESSING MY FIRE LADY'S MAKE-UP!” Varrick yelled with his director megaphone, making her step away from you with her hands held up to her shoulders height, you were laughing. “That's what I thought. Let's go! We need to have the next scene by today!”

After the mover was done, Korra and you had time again for yourselves. Everything seemed to be going great, you never knew a tiny snippet of the mover was transmitted on TV... Okay, well, at least you didn't knew the first days until one day you were stopped by a group of three girls calling you by your character's name and saying how cool the sneak peek was, that same day you went home to Korra and ran to the TV.

The avatar was confused when you stood around fifteen minutes in front of the television, until she heard your voice with a almost static sound, it made her turn around to look.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “No fucking way... It's you!” she exclaimed excited, sitting by your side almost pushing you out of the way to appreciate how gorgeous you looked in the traditional fire nation dress. “You look so sexy there.”

Your face started to feel hot at the comment, you were able to just giggle and cover your face. Korra turned to you and tackle you to the floor completely to hug you.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “My girlfriend is a mover star.” she said moving your hands off your face to start leaving ephemeral kisses all over it.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Korra, stop!” you said in between laughs, but never pushed her away, you liked when she was affectionate with you.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Uh-uh! We're going to celebrate this!” she stood up with such quickness that if you tried it would likely cause dizziness. “Dinner's on me.” the girl extended her hand to you so you could get up.

Both of you went on an express dinner, having two to three bowls of noodles each and regretting eating so much was how you were making your way back home.

So there you were, walking side by side and talking about all the topics that would come to mind until you were stopped by two girls. Excited they were asking you for a photo, a man with a gigant camera was behind them, you looked at Korra and she just smiled before taking a step to the side, the picture was taken and a couple of compliments were said before they left giggling in murmurs.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I think I can't get use to that.” you said looking to hold her hand, she embrace the action and with her free hand cupped your face.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You will, mover star.” a sweet kiss from her was what made you feel better, after distancing she started to walk again. “Let's go home, baby, I think I will explode now.”

After the mover was released, the things just escalated. Now you were stopped almost at every corner, most of the times you didn't mind, but when you were out with your friends or girlfriend you felt as it was too much.

You thought that maybe by the third week it would've calm down since the hype for the mover was starting to dissolve, at least that was before you were stopped by a group of five girls while Korra and you were just walking in the park to pass time with each other after the things calmed down.

They all gathered around you, making the waterbender take a few steps back without her taking the initiative. They were all talking at the same time about the mover, how pretty you looked, how you were even more beautiful in real life and how the fire nation's color suit you better.

You were trying to keep up with everyone, feeling how your right arm got hugged and a head rested upon your shoulder, you didn’t know how to stop them, so you just stayed there smiling awkwardly. When you looked up to ask for your girlfriend's help, you noticed how she wasn't in front of you, desperately your eyes looked for her finding her silhouette walking away, way too far for her to hear you if you called her name.

A bad mouth taste was what you had, smiling forcefully at the girls to be kind to them. You signed whatever they wanted you to sign, took photos and got overwhelmed with the flash, but after a couple of minutes they let you go when you used the excuse that you had to head home before it got dark.

You knew Korra enough to recognize what had happened, before going home you went to a flower shop and bought the perfect bouquet for her: her and your favorite flowers. Walking into the apartment you didn't see her at the living room nor the dinner room when you left your keys on the table so you went directly to the bedroom where you saw the southerner looking out of the window.

With your free hand you knocked on the door. “Tulips and water lilies delivery.” you said with a tiny smile when she looked at you, her eyes just went back to the window.

You sighed and carefully left the flowers on the bed before sitting next to her in the couch.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I know something's bothering you...” you started, trying to look for her gaze. “Are you not going to talk to me?”

The Avatar licked her lips, thinking before looking at you. “It's... It's silly, leave it.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “It's not silly if it bothers you.” She hugged her knees and look down. “Korra...”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “It's just that they were all over you,” she spat suddenly, making you nod. “And I know it shouldn't bother me because you are with me, but it seemed that they didn’t respect that and wanted you for them anyways. You should've seen how they were looking at you, the girl hugging you was the worse.”

One of your hands rested in her arm and left caresses while hearing her, you were glad to have clear communication with your girlfriend.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I'm sorry, my love, I should've set boundaries.” you said, the girl looked back at you. “You don't have to worry about anyone, Korra, I love you and only you. There's not one person in this world who can make me look at any other direction that is not you.”

The heart of the Avatar felt as it was about to leave its place on her body, she moved to sit better and in a quick move catching you off guard her lips met yours in such a familiar manner for the both of you. Korra heard how you sighed and loved the way you melt on the kiss, almost getting on top of you if it wasn’t for how you distanced from her a little bit.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Let me make it up to you.” you murmured over her lips. “Since our spontaneous date was ruined, let me take you out for another date. There's a mover about a romantic comedy that just came out and after we can go for noodles, what do you think?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “We have a date, darling,” she said, a tiny kiss was left on your lips and she completely separated to stand up. “But no noodles for some time, I still remember the feeling of that other night after eating too much.”

You laughed, copying her by standing up. “No noodles then, we can eat meat.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “My spirits, you have no idea how much I love you.” she said out of breath, her arm hugged you by the shoulders to leave the apartment together.

The mover went by quicker than you two thought, loving the way it turned out. Now you were sitting on a table waiting for the food on a restaurant that closed late, there were groups of friends eating before going dancing, couples who also had a late night date and people who work until late having something to eat before going straight home to rest. You were watching Korra play with her straw.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Maybe I should leave the movers.” the girl started coughing, you were fast to stand up and pat her back a little bit.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I'm okay, I'm okay,” she said hoarsely. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

You made your way back to your seat, a little grimace painted on your face. “You know, since this thing with... fans? seems to be problematic, maybe it's best if I leave it.”

Korra looked for your hands over the table and hold them. “Listen to me, don't let those girls stop you from following your dream.” her eyes were fixated in yours, almost as if she was anxious. “Don't let me stop you either, you're such a great actress with a bright future and it would break my heart to see you waste your talent.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You really think so?” you bit your bottom lip, nervous.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Of couse, my love! You have to be the best actress Republic City has ever seen.” the southerner took your hands and left a kiss on your knuckles. “Besides, I can presume I have a famous girlfriend that way, don't you think?”

You laughed now, Korra smiled at the sound. “As if you're not the fucking Avatar, be serious, Korra.” you breathe in, relaxing a little bit. “I love you. So much.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I love you even more.” she said, standing to give you a ephemeral kiss on the lips before sitting back down to let the server leave the food on the table.

She knew it was going to be okay, you were following your dream and she was fortunate enough to see you succeed at it, the love was reciprocated and that was all that mattered in the relationship. You had each other.

[ruikeremi]

From my other post of diamond!Reader i was actually thinking if i should make a pearl! Reader as well now im flooded with ideas and i have school later at 6am and im still not asleep because of these thoughts not letting me sleep

You guys can decide whatever color the reader is-

Here are some of what i thought of:

Diamond!Reader who has a gem on their right hand, unlike the other diamonds she doesn't pick a planet to rule, instead she makes her own world using her powers, which is creation she can make anything she wishes but it has a limit the more she uses this power the more that she grows weak, she rules no planets and only helps the other diamonds rule their planets or find a unclaimed planet and tells it to the others, she is also considered the right hand person of white diamons

Diamond!Reader is close to pink diamond every time pink diamond is locked up on the tower she always visits her and a company her, the two were close Diamond!Reader sees pink as family and they barely talk to the other diamonds they're a quiet person around the others but she talks a lot around pink

Diamond!Reader who found the land of Khaenri'ah in which had no gods ruling over it they wanted and only humans at first they wanted to tell the others about this unclaimed land but the mortals in it peeked their interest as they witnessed them create and build these machines it amazes them that a mere mortal can make such a wonderful creations just by the things around them

Diamond!Reader decided to visit the nation to see in their own eyes the creation of these mortals, as they spends more and more time on the nation they felt an attachment to the people in it, and they had been hanging out with dain lately they felt like they were home and informed pink about this discovery and they're relationship with the mortals making pink shares about the new planet that was finally given to her to rule, earth

Diamond!Reader was well known in Khaenri'ah as they helped with some machines and inventions, some of it they created themself with help, making them quite popular as they help and participate in some inventions known to the nation, the people had viewed them as a very important person as without their help some of their inventions/creations weren't made thus they have build statues of them and they were well known by everyone

Diamond!Reader was also viewed as inspiring and admirable that some writers had decided to make a book about them, they're contribution to their country and to the way they help all of them to raise even more

Diamond!Reader who starts to neglect their job as a diamond and was in the mortals world to see and learn about the mortals, they have also met a blonde traveler from afar in which they have been trying to get to know as their friendship grow, so did their relationship with the diamonds fell as they haven't been going to their meetings nor helping the other diamond

Diamond!Reader was scolded by white diamond seeing her smile makes them shiver as she had no choice but to stop visiting Khaenri'ah, once they were informed about the rebel of one of pinks people and the troublesome things that it resulted they had gotten ready for the war, not before pink has told them about it, that rose and her is the same and she was only doing this so that she can live peacefully in earth, they agreed to keep this a secret

Diamond!Reader became busy with their responsibility as a diamond that she had forgotten about Khaenri'ah, and only remembered it when they were staring at the stars pondering thinking that it had been a long time since they last visited it they revisited the nation only to find it in a mess there were no more people and the joyous laughter of kids was no longer there and the warm smiles of the people and the welcoming aura is long gone

Diamond!Reader stared at the now fallen country and saw a familiar blonde haired traveler running to them as they asked what happened and claimed that the seven gods had destroyed it because it had no ruler, making them taken back from this information

Diamond!Reader felt heart broken as the joy and warm smiles of the people in Khaenri'ah have now turned to ashes, at least that what they thought as they decided to leave Khaenri'ah their heart yo heavy from the guilt that they couldn't protect Khaenri'ah and its people, they left Khaenri'ah and decided to leave to see more of teyvat

Okay so-, i have no idea what i just wrote, yes teyvat wasn't invented by diamond reader because i think i remembered that the diamonds would take a planet take every living land from it i think?- and mold the existing planet to whatever they please, diamond reader won't be doing that and instead only be views as a good because of the books and inventions they helped made, I'm sorry if some of it don't make sense, this is my first time writing so please forgive me if i made any mistakes or confusing things-

Its 1am rn, and i started writing this at 12am- so I'll prob head to sleep even though im supposed to wake up at 3am but whatever- I'll try to improve and try my best yo remember genshin and steven Universe lore because it has been a long time since the last time i have read them and i recently deleted genshin but i do remember the lore, so stay tuned! I'll try my best, slow updates too, it is a self aware, just wait for updates and I'll def explain it more for now ik brain dead and in need of sleep, see y'all!

Again this is my first time writing so forgive me if i make mistakes

[flame-shadow]

being a kid obsessed with dinosaurs while being raised christian fundamentalist (i think?) made for some very interesting moments.

books would say that dinosaurs lived hundreds of millions of years ago. my parents would say the earth was created 6000 years ago. so for a while, i thought dinosaurs were fake like dragons. and for a long while after that, i never paid attention to the estimated years because they were all clearly false.

books would say that dinosaurs evolved over their millions of years of existence, at some point some developed feathers, and that birds probably came from dinosaurs. the pastors and sunday school teachers would say that evolution wasn't real and that god created the birds as they are. i was confused and disappointed, because evolution made a lot of sense and sounded really cool to boot.

documentaries would show fossil sites and talk about how the rock can be dated. one time, i heard that god left dinosaur fossils for us to find as enrichment. another time, i was told that satan planted the fossils to sow doubt among god's followers. i thought it odd that some people thought god would want to trick his people with such an elaborate hoax.

years later, i heard someone say that god created the universe to look like it had always existed even though it was created relatively recently, and that's why the light from stars further than 6,000 light years have already reached us. i was reminded of the explanation of god putting apparently millions of years old fossils in the ground.

more recently (within the past decade and therefore i was no longer a kid nor a christian), i've heard the people who raised me to believe the things above reciting new "facts" that people have since come up with to explain away more recent scientific discoveries and conclusions. a few years ago, my grandmother had someone speak at her church, and afterwards she bought some of the books they were selling and shipped them to me. whereas twenty years ago, she'd have told me dinosaurs couldn't have existed, now she had sent me books about how actually dinosaurs were created 6000 years ago along with humans and all the other animals. these "facts" were corroborated by some other relatives next time i shared a meal with them.

they can't even keep their false facts straight because the old stories don't make sense anymore, even though the new stories aren't any better!

and i keep coming back to my early interest in dinosaurs.

the one that my mom was reluctant to allow me to pursue because of the perceived falseness of their existence. the one that i felt i had to carefully regulate what facts i expressed interest in lest my mom decide that dinosaurs were banned from being talked about the way pokemon was. and i was so so deliberate to pepper in the occasional qualifiers like "even though the bible says that's not possible, 150 millions years is a long time ago!" or "i know they're not actually going to turn into birds and this is just a drawing, but this one with the feathers does really look like it could become a bird someday."

thank god for dinosaurs (haha), because im not sure how long i would've been mired in such a closed-minded worldview otherwise. even though satan didn't sow the fossils in the earth, they did cause me to doubt the veracity of what i was taught.

[lovelynim]

YES YES YESSSSS hi my love i’m so proud of you congrats on 400 hehe

may i please request dan heng and caelus and discovery tickles (i want you to pick the lee bc i love your brain) ?? you’re awesome i can’t wait to see how this event turns out it’s so fun

THANK YOU SO MUCH

Both for the message and for this request huehuehue

I got a little carried away and I haven't played a f*cking second of HSR but im in love with them so i hope they don't sound too ooc

Dan Heng looked over his shoulder when the sound of the door opening reached his ears. Narrowing his eyes, the archivist tried to recognize the figure by its silhouette before saying something.

“Dan Heng, are you here?” Caelus said, walking inside the room and letting the door close behind him. With the sound of steps coming from behind a shelf, Dan Heng showed up, wearing a rather calm look on his voice.

“Yes, I’m here,” he said, looking at the trailblazer. “Do you need anything?”

Caelus shook his head, scratching the back of his head as he tried to come up with a proper answer. “I… just wanted to check on you. I haven’t seen you all day, so I got a little worried,” he admitted, hoping his ‘futile’ reason wouldn't annoy the archivist. “I hope I’m not bothering you or anyth-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dan Heng interrupted and, despite his usual cold facade, Caelus could tell he was being kind of friendly. “I wasn’t working on anything important.”

The answer gave Caelus a mixed feeling, making the man raise an eyebrow in curiosity. As much as it soothed his previous worries, it opened room for a new question. “Wait, what were you doing back there, then?”

As the silence started covering up all the noises in the room, Caelus’s curiosity only grew larger. “I mean, I could barely see you from the entrance, it was almost as if you were hiding,” he joked, letting out a nervous chuckle as he hoped to at least ease the tension between them.

Dan Heng sighed, his intuition telling him that running from the topic would only lead to further questioning and, even worse, ruin his whole “plan”. 

“Truth to be told, that was what I was doing,” the archivist replied, trying to make it sound as normal as possible.

“Ah, I see- huh?! You were?!” It took him a few seconds to realize, not expecting his suspicions to be confirmed like that. “Why? Hiding from what?”

Dan Heng pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out an audible groan. It was such an absurd situation, such an embarrassing position to be in. But, looking on the bright side, maybe talking it out with Caelus would help.

“From March,” the archivist sighed, crossing his arms as he looked away, avoiding eye contact out of shyness, “she is probably… hunting me down right now.”

“W-what? From March? What happened?”

Was he really doing it? He guessed so, “we were hanging together earlier today and, for some reason, she started complaining about ‘how cold I am sometimes’ or something along these lines…”

“Uh-huh…” Caelus nodded, trying to follow Dan Heng’s line of thought.

“So, at first I didn’t care because it should be just another one of her ramblings, but she felt like I was ignoring her and started poking me.”

Caelus widened his eyes. From that sentence, he could guess where this was going and why Dan Heng seemed so annoyed. Taking some slow and quiet steps towards the archivist, the trailblazer nodded, humming in agreement.

“And- ahm, well, it felt… a little- ugh, a little ticklish,” he continued the story, not noticing how Caelus was slowly approaching him, to disturbed by the idea of voicing something like that, “a-anyway, I think this flipped some switch inside her; She started saying things, I guess to try tease me, and making a fuss over the idea of me being ticklish.”

“So… that’s why you decided to hide here? To avoid March tickling you?”

“Yes- Well, no, I mean, it’s not like that. It’s just that I’m not in the mood to fool around with her and I have work to do-”

“But are you?”

Dan Heng quickly turned his face towards Caelus as those words landed on his ears. The boy was merely inches away from him at that point, making the same face as March did when she made her little discovery.

[totsworks]

GUYS GUYS GUYS!!!! NINJAGO AU I THOUGHT OF WHEN I WAS DRAWING PIXANE:3!!!

Its called “the ninjago disrespect group” which places after the ninjas die

Welp mostly. Zane became too rusty and his system too overloaded that he shut himself while lloyd stayed alive

Since lloyd was tired of living he offed himself yet unfortunately his grandpa wanted to stick his nose in that again and took lloyd’s soul

Talking to lloyd he was asking him why he didn’t want to continue living? Lloyd told him “your world and place fucking sucks and you suck too”/jk but seriously he told him how he didn’t want to live where the purpose he was made for was finished. Living aimless was tiring which made the fsm hum and told him “your life have a lesson you need to follow lloyd. Dont be impatient” which made lloyd wake up. He looked at the floor now anger building up slowly inside him since even his death have to be controlled as well and have to do another life discovery shit soo he was tired-

-but when he wanted to lay down in his apartment (i made him live a depressed life. Isolated and only on social media) but he stumbled upon a meme which says “when your father hates you so much that you work with fatherless people as well” and his photo in some stupid cgi thingy which made him look at the website only to be shocked since that website talk about joke/dumb legends and there was a category called “the ninjas”

Looking at it he was crashed at how much activity was there. Sure not everyone thinks that way but the fact that its someones idea and someone made this despite the ninjas dying to save them send lloyd to the edge-

-remembering all the unreasonable mistreatment. He decided he had enough

No more playing angel. No more caring for rules. And definitely no more caring for others safety being when they didn’t care about his

He finally opened his crusty door and walked out of that shitty apartment now walking to the grief his friends were buried in. What fsm didnt know that giving lloyd an element that resembles life would be a bad idea. Now after stealing some guts and like healthy parts and fixing the ninja’s bodies he used his power to wake them up(still thinking of this part) and made them rest in his apartment until they feel well(and greenflame happening)

But accidentally kai was worried when lloyd was late making him walking on (unstable) his new legs looking around which caught attention

After some weeks lloyd got an invitation from the ninjago news to meet which made him shocked and confused yet he agreed because he wanted to see how the citizens would react to a new approach of him-

-and after dressing nicely to at least get some positive comments he finally came(after giving smoochies to kai☝️)but the meet up was because they news were shocked about lloyd. The good lloyd! The sweetheart innocent souled lloyd! Bringing back dead

The way they asked him about that and the way they talked made it seem like some fanfic. Not serious. Not taking him seriously as ever

Looking at this lloyd got tired and took the plate on the table infront of him and smashed it then lunged at the news reporter and started slashing him. The news cut due to the quote-on-quote “poor signal” yet when it came back lloyd was holding the mic glaring at the camera or the viewers as he said “you think this is a joke right? A silly thing to be taken? The green ninja bringing his friends to life? What a story! Let me tell you something. You always wished me to be on the light to be your joke or talk right? To be the gossip or some kimd of those belittling conversations right? Well!” And lift his hands smiling now a “welcoming” smile “here i am!! But..im not her to be your fun today. I used to be but..i dont think you will find this funny. This is the ninjago disrespect group news for today. Have the worse night of yours lets see how you can keep up with your own actions” and then the story will be this ‘show,s’ episodes while lloyd leads most of the people who helped ninjago yet never received their own thanking and stuff like that!

TRAAAA!! Sooo?? Thoughts and opinions are always appreciated:3

[lesbiannancytruther]

no but hear me out:

i want robin to kiss a girl in season 5 so badly and no matter who it is, in the end of the day i will take it because she needs a gf already BUT

it has to be nancy. like it has to be. it's not that i dislike vickie or anything but i just (i better not get canceled for that one) feel like her character was kind of poorly written? no hate to the actress at all, but to me it just felt like they copy-pasted robin's entire personality and turned it into a new character?? i don't know maybe that's just me? robin deserves a complex character by her side (nancy god damn wheeler) and i am dying on that hill. nancy is and has always been such a complex character and giving her a girlfriend would only EMPHASIZE this complexity. from s1 one until now nancy has been captured in this love triangle and it is pretty clear that she never felt fully understood in neither of those relationships. like she always had to prove herself you know what i mean? with both steve and jonathan. now guess what? she never had to prove herself around robin. ROBIN EVEN PUT HER IN CHARGE HELLO??

and robin...well the way she rambled around nancy?? the way she looked down when she saw the way nancy was looking at steve?? the way she called for nancy when she went after steve?? the way they held hands??? they both deserve each other so much. i could literally talk about this for HOURS oh my god. the ronance hyperfixation is going strong!

hello anon i understand u so strongly, and im sorry this took me so long to get to! i promise it wasn't intentional!

i will forever be on the train that even if vickie was done better than she was, she will always be a character introduced to give the lesbian character a love interest, she was doomed to this position from the start because she had no other real purpose! rockie will always feel inorganic because vickie is nothing beyond a love interest for robin.

this is. such a common problem, ESPECIALLY in wlw ships, and that's why i love ronance. nancy wheeler is immune to this phenomenon because she and robin were both created independently and with different purposes, and their stories come together so well its actually insane

nancy wheeler is one of those characters that is so hard to understand if you don't look at her through a queer lens, or at the very least an anti-misogynist one. i think the best thing the duffers could do for her is finish the arc she started in season 1, which is focused on self-realization and discovery.

the entire show she has been told who she is, what she should do, who she likes, who she loves, by everyone! it is never nancy who says these things, it is other characters telling her, even barb, even robin. how insane would it be if she came to the conclusion on her own that she liked women? or at the very least had looked at her own feelings not through the lens of someone who didn't understand her or the situation they were talking about.

robin falls into these same patterns, but the more she gets to know nancy, the more she really understands her, the more she backs off on those kinds of comments and the more she uplifts nancy's voice. there is SO MUCH POTENTIAL in them and the fact that it will more likely than not be ignored is so. agonizing. please duffer brothers see the vision

[h4itani-4ddict]

Hey theree

Could I request Taiju x fem reader who is Yazuha's best friend. Yazuha called reader to her house but than black dragkns were there and didn't let reader to come in and than she met Taiju and Yazuha saw it on window and got scared and went to them and told Taiju it's her friend. After a few days reader came to Yazuha's house again amd Taiju told her that she is not home and she is like im not here for her

Thanks

Serependity [Taiju x Fem!Reader]

Pairing: Taiju Shiba (Tokyo Revengers) x female! reader

Genre: Fluff / SFW

TW: i dont think there’s any but lmk if yes

WC: 620

As Y/N approached Yuzuha's home, anticipation mingled with the excitement of a long-awaited reunion. However, their excitement was abruptly halted by the presence of a notorious group—the Black Dragons. Their menacing aura filled the air, and they stood as barriers between Y/N and the familiar doorstep.

Confusion and concern consumed Y/N as she tried to make sense of the situation. But just as panic began to set in, a reassuring voice pierced through the tension. "Hey, what's going on here?" it called out.

Y/N's gaze shifted, landing upon a figure that exuded strength and compassion. It was Taiju, a name she had heard from Yuzuha but had never met in person. His presence alone sparked a sense of comfort and assurance within her.

Through the window, Yuzuha witnessed the unfolding scene, her heart pounding with fear. She rushed towards Y/N and Taiju, her voice trembling with anxiety. "Taiju, it's okay. She's my friend," she stuttered, hoping her words would diffuse the mounting tension.

Taiju frowned as his gaze met Y/N's. Reassured by Yuzuha's proclamation, he sigh and said. "Ah, I see. Sorry for the misunderstanding." he said, his voice laced with a reassuring tone.

Days passed, and Y/N found herself returning to Yuzuha's house, her mind still replaying the chance encounter with Taiju. It was during this visit that Taiju approached her, a gentle smile tugging at Y/N’s features. "Yuzuha isn't home right now," he announced, his eyes meeting hers. "But don't worry, I'm not here just for her. We can hang out together." The young woman answered him.

Surprised yet intrigued, Y/N couldn't help but return Taiju's smile. "That sounds great," he replied, a flicker of excitement dancing in her eyes. "I didn't come here just for her either."

The hours slipped away effortlessly as Y/N and Taiju shared laughter, stories, and the discovery of shared interests. Taiju's infectious optimism and unwavering support left an indelible mark on Y/N's heart. In his presence, she felt understood, valued, and a sense of belonging that had eluded her before.

As the sun began its descent, casting a warm, golden hue upon the world, Yuzuha returned home, her eyes widening in surprise at the sight of her best friend and Taiju engaged in deep conversation. Overwhelmed by happiness, she approached the duo, her voice filled with a mixture of relief and joy.

"I knew you two would hit it off! It's incredible to see my best friend and the person who means so much to me becoming friends too," Yuzuha exclaimed, her eyes shimmering with genuine happiness.

Y/N and Taiju exchanged a knowing glance, their connection deepening with each passing moment. They could feel the warmth of an unspoken bond blossoming between them—a connection built on trust, understanding, and the joy of shared experiences.

In the midst of their conversations and stolen glances, Y/N and Taiju discovered that their feelings for one another went beyond friendship. A gentle yet powerful affection began to take root, intertwining their hearts in an enchanting dance.

Several weeks had passed since Y/N and Taiju had forged a deep connection, spending countless hours together and nurturing their blossoming affection. They shared adventures, laughter, and the joy of discovering new aspects of one another.

However, their path wasn't without challenges. One evening, a confrontation with a local gang unfolded, leaving Taiju injured and shaken. Determined to find solace and seek comfort in Y/N's presence, he mustered all his strength and made his way to her house on his bike.

As Y/N opened the door, she was taken aback by the sight of Taiju, bruised but determined. Concern etched on her face, she invited him inside. Without uttering a word, Taiju gestured towards his bike, silently implying that they should embark on a ride, just as Yuzuha had once advised.

Understanding his unspoken intentions, Y/N nodded, her heart filled with a mix of worry and anticipation. She hopped onto the bike, holding onto Taiju tightly, their hands intertwining as they set off into the night.

The wind rushed past them as they rode through the dimly lit streets, the rhythmic motion of the bike echoing their intertwined emotions. As they continued, their worries and the chaos of the outside world began to fade, leaving only the two of them and the pulsating connection they shared.

Finally, Taiju brought the bike to a gentle stop in a secluded spot under a canopy of twinkling stars. They dismounted, their eyes locked, filled with unspoken words and emotions. In that moment, Taiju mustered the courage to lean in and press his lips against Y/N's, pouring all his love into that kiss.

The world seemed to stand still as their lips met, a crescendo of emotions surging through their bodies. It was a kiss that spoke volumes, conveying their deep affection, desire, and the unspoken confession that had been held within their hearts.

As they pulled back, their eyes met once again, and Taiju's voice trembled with raw emotion. "Y/N, I can't deny my feelings any longer. You mean the world to me. I love you," he confessed, his voice filled with vulnerability and sincerity.

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes, her heart overflowing with love and joy. She reached out to cup Taiju's face, her voice barely above a whisper. "Taiju, I love you too, with all my heart. You've become the missing piece of my life, and I can't imagine a future without you," she declared, her voice filled with unwavering certainty.

In that magical moment, the weight of their unspoken emotions lifted, replaced by a newfound bond that would guide them through life's challenges. With their love declared, Y/N and Taiju embraced, sealing their commitment to each other.

From that day forward, their journey continued, hand in hand, navigating the bustling chaos of life together. Their love grew deeper, their shared moments sweeter, and their hearts forever intertwined.

And so, under the moonlit sky, amidst laughter and whispered promises, Y/N and Taiju embarked on a lifelong adventure, embracing the pure and enduring love they had discovered in each other.

I’m not sure if it fit Taiju’s personality but I did my best I hope you liked it :) And I’m really sorry I took too much time to do it but I hadn’t wifi

masterlist - requests

[leonsleftbicep]

Bake Me Back To Eden

Chapter: III

Ao3 Version

word count: 1,378

Tags: Bakery AU, Modern Setting AU, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Vessel/II/III are dating, IV doesn't know them… yet!, Trans II, Nonbinary Vessel, Genderfluid III, They/Them Pronouns for III, It/Its and They/Them Pronouns for Vessel.

Summary: Thea(III) tries their hand at trying to get a date with the quirky bakery owner, Ivy!

Note: i did indeed project onto III a little. this one is a bit more fast paced and rushed, at least to me, i am sorry about that bit. i am trying to get the slower stuff out so i can get into a more interesting part of the story. i am just being overly critical of myself, even though i got it done and believe it is good in my eyes. i am just hoping you guys will also enjoy it as well.

“I'm going out for coffee!!” III calls out through the house, both Vessel and II were taking a nap, one they both needed from being away from each other so long. Thea knew this was their chance to get closer to the bakery owner of ivy sprigs. 

III walks in noticing how quiet it was in the cute little shop. Thea scours the vinyls for anything new, maybe a new album from a band or two.

With no luck they decide to grab a coffee or tea. They were surprised to see Ivy in a tight tee and jeans, apron discarded on the counter as he stretches his arms above his head. a few pops being heard from his back, plus a growl like sigh.

“what a display Ives” III purrs with a big smile. “oh! I uh, I didn’t expect someone to be here” IV chuckles as his face turns red.

“Do you have back problems?” III asks as they lean against the counter “I know a massage therapist who might help?”. “Well these joints aren't as young as they use to be” Ivy says as he rubs at the ache in his neck.

“wait, how old are you? this entire time i thought you were 32 like Lii” iii say surprised and slightly excited for the answer. 

IV just grins “well I am 13 years older than that” IV says as he leans forward on the counter to look into III’s eyes.

III quickly does the math as then gasps at the discovery “that explains a lot” III giggles, the only thoughts going through their head are just how hot that is to them. 

“well you are quite the silver fox, darling” III flirts very obviously, not caring to be subtle. They want IV to know that they want him. 

IV lets out a huff of a laugh “how do your partners feel about you flirting with other people?” IV asks, flirting wasn’t an issue, he just wanted to make sure he wasn’t stepping in on other people's lives. 

III was surprised by the question, they knew II got jealous when it came to IV, vessel always grabbed at Thea’s waist when they flirted with other people. Other than those two instances, they never noticed anything wrong with them flirting.

“They don’t mind, though their both very possessive” III responds as they lean closer to Ivy

“so.. they wouldn’t mind if we went on a date just to test the waters?” Ivy asks as he gazes in Thea’s heavy lidded sea foam colored eyes. 

III just bit their lip and chuckled “they wouldn’t mind” they purred. Thea reached up to brush a strand of hair behind iv’s ear, thinking that this man was absolutely gorgeous. 

The two just gaze at each other for a while, trying to figure out if this is genuinely something they wanted to do together. 

“Tonight, at that shitty bar on the corner. live music, i won't be drinking though. 8 pm” III says quickly, not elaborating anything before kissing IV’s cheek. scurrying away like an excited ferret. “wear something cute, im wearing a skirt” thea calls over their shoulder before exiting the bakery.

Ivy just stood there, beet red as he registers what he was told. He knew he had the time, and the clothes. but being told was the cherry on top.

III runs into the house and squeals, “I got a date!” they say through the house. II looks up at them “with who?” he asks as he continues to braid Vessels' hair. 

“The baker, with the Ivy tattoos” Thea says as they do a bit of a happy dance. “You got a date with Ivy? seriously?” II says with wide eyes, a slight rumble in his voice. 

III nods incredibly excited “I told him to wear something cute, we’re going to the bar” III grins 

“you mean the dingey one with the shitty bands?” Vessel asks. III nods and grins, showing off those pearly whites. 

—

Ivy was on the phone with Elanor “they said to wear something cute, but they are pretty femme so I don't know what that consists of” he says to her, still completely shocked. 

“Come on babes, they obviously want to see your muscles. weren’t they watching you stretch, then they just want you to wear your cute little button up” Elanor giggles over the phone. 

IV finally has the realization “jesus, i am a dumbass” he groans as he slaps his forehead with his hand. “But which one, I have about five different ones that fit with their aesthetic?” IV asks as he walks off to his wardrobe and flips through the selection. 

“You have anything sheer.” Elanor asks in a straight tone. “If so, wear it! they would like to see your tattoos… and tits-” IV cuts her off “Elanor, stop.”

there's a laugh on her end “hon, i'm going to have to go. The girls just got back and we have dinner reservations tonight. so, have fun on your date, and text me if you two shag!” IV yelped “Elanor!” before she ended the call.

IV took a deep breath, scrolled through his music to find the playlist that he played for big occasions and tossed his phone onto his bed, stretched and then started to put an outfit together. 

—

III put together an outfit on the safer side, not wanting to scare IV away immediately. long skirt, slouchy sweater with a fishnet bodysuit. not too crazy. 

thea makes their way to the pub they told Ivy to meet them at. waiting outside as they smile to themself about the whole thing as they play around on their phone. 

III looks up and their jaw drops when they see IV. Ivy, who took some of Elanor’s advice. he was dressed in a sheer filigree button up that had his four top buttons open, and tight dark plaid pants. “Am I dressed up too much?” Ivy asks worriedly as he moves to pull his hair up in a ponytail. 

“Leave it down” 

“What?”

“Leave your hair down, Ivy” III murmurs as they pulls IV’s hands away and gazes into his downturned eyes.

IV took a deep shaky breath as he tries not to lean in and kiss them. III pulled away and smiled “you ready for our date?” they ask as they hold IV’s hand. 

IV nodded eagerly, he already heard the first band announce themself a couple minutes ago. the thought of listening to music with them as they just enjoy each other’s presence. 

III takes IV’s hand and leads him into the bar, they notice the band “Thats Brian, he's been with this band a while.” III smiles. “you know them Thea?'' Ivy asks as he holds their waist. “mhm, he gets his tattoos done by Lii, and also gets his samples from me” III responds as the two of them walk to the bar so they can order drinks. 

They sit and talk as they wait for their drinks, discussing their favorite bands and pastries that they like. 

“you know, i haven’t had a pop tart since i was in the US, but that was before i figured out i cant eat anything with flour.” III pouts as they sip on their cola.

“I could make you some, I know a lot of places don't have options for people like you. Evie has celiacs so we have a very specific area just for gluten free options” Ivy says as he tangles his fingers with Theas. 

III has the look of pure love in their eyes and also the look that they might cry. “Are you going to cry, Thea?” IV asks softly, worried he upset them. 

“Fucking Kiss Me!” they yelp as they lean in, grabbing IV’s face, and connect lips with IV’s. 

Ivy melts as he closes his eyes and lets it happen. III doesn’t pull away until they are having a hard time breathing. When they pull away they stare at each other.

“Do you want to go to my apartment?” Ivy asks softly as his face starts to turn red. 

“Absolutely” III murmurs with a soft smile as they lean forward and kiss IV again. III pulls away “but after we dance” they whisper. 

[not-a-hawk]

@kyoodledoodle i made the list, feel free to pitch your own ideas

Note that while the song choices I could write an essay on, the overall album choices are decided entirely by vibes.

Safe Ship, Harbored

Can’t Have It All

all of them. it’s all of them i can’t pick one

Diving Bell

i think Jester? not certain tho open to suggestions

New Colors

Beauregard possibly? again open to suggestions

Caleb Trask

all of them.

Counting Sheep

Jester Lavorre

Hole in The Silver Lining

Caleb Widogast & Beauregard. it comes with them being parallels

Safe Ship, Harbored

Caleb Widogast

Naked, the Night Falls

perhaps Caduceus? im gonna be honest this is not my favorite of theirs

Ancient History

Either Fjord or Caleb or Molly. not sure but one of them i think

October

Yasha Nydoorin

The Crooked, The Cradle

Another one that’s all of them.

I Ain’t Done

Caleb Widogast

OVERALL ALBUM: Caleb Widogast

The Fool in Her Wedding Gown

Icarus

Mollymauk Tealeaf

Steady, Steady

mmmm I want to say Veth? open to suggestions on this one

Easier

Veth Brenatto/Nott the Brave

Shallow River

Yasha Nydoorin. the yasha song ever. i literally could write an essay on this and i’m not even joking this time

Strangler Fig

ooh originally i thought beauregard but now i am further into the show and this may be a Yasha song. open to suggestions

The Glacier House

caleb or yasha. im not certain. many songs on this album could apply to several characters

Tongues and Teeth

Caleb Widogast. there are several lines i would believe were canon said by him if you told me so

Back to the Ground

all of them. Fjord maybe. or perhaps caleb.

Show Your Fangs

Beauregard Lionett

Once & for All

i have no idea. someone help me

Canary in a Coal Mine

either jester or molly. leaning toward jester but i think having it as molly would have some comedic value in the “makes you cry” sort of humor

How to Rest

all of them

OVERALL ALBUM: Yasha Nydoorin.

Foxlore

Nothing at All

Jester Lavorre

I Talk in My Sleep

either jester or nott. am open to suggestions

Down the River

Beauregard Lionett

Ribs

i think beauregard. or perhaps yasha

Can’t Go Back

Caleb Widogast

Curses

I don’t know actually. suggestions welcome. perhaps mollymauk

Turn out the Lights

Fjord (or perhaps caduceus. uncertain but i think fjord)

Pretty Little Things

nott. or perhaps beauregard. or perhaps yasha. idk

Know How

Veth Brenatto/Nott the Brave

Not the Ghost

yasha or caleb

The Garden

leaving this blank bc i’m like 90% certain this is an essek song but im only at episode 78 so im going off of the spoilers ive seen. can someone confirm or deny

OVERALL ALBUM: Jester Lavorre

Coyote Stories

Keep You Safe

Caleb Widogast. shoutout to the song that made me love him

The Moon Will Sing

no fucking clue. caleb maybe?

Allies or Enemies

Caleb and Beauregard and the early game tension

Unraveling

Yasha or Nott

Hard Sell

Jester Lavorre or nott

Rockslide

Yasha or Fjord

Metaphor

Fjord

The Hand That Feeds

Caleb Widogast

Little Soldiers

Beauregard Lionett

Sleeping Giants

i think this one might be avantika. am i allowed to do that

Of Everlong

Yasha Nydoorin

Never Love an Anchor

Veth Brenatto

New Discovery

no clue. perhaps fjord

OVERALL ALBUM: Fjord

The Singles (there is no overall for these)

High Horse

not certain. perhaps beauregard

Empty Page

Veth Brenatto

Take Me to War

Caleb Widogast & Beauregard Lionett

Volta

Beauregard Lionett & Yasha Nydoorin (& honestly the whole team)

Daydreamer

i think perhaps jester or nott. but then there’s also the last bit.

Here I Am

Beauregard Lionett

Hollow Moon

Caleb Widogast. if i were better at animating i would make an animatic

Sowing Seeds

Beauregard Lionett

Taking Turns

legitimately no idea. kyo i request your help

Drown You Out

either caleb or yasha depending on how you interpret the song.

The Well

Yasha Nydoorin

Live From the Listening Room

Nobody

possibly caleb??? idk

Queen of Nothing

perhaps nott. i do NOTT know lol

The Wolf

Caleb Widogast. another one where you could tell me these were canon lines of his and i’d believe you

[pastafossa]

so i've asked briefcasejuice about this already but i'd also like your take too - since you're part of the daredevil tumblr fandom council and all ...

I'm writing this scene and one of my ocs asks matt if he can handle spicy food and i wanted him to explain this whole thing about pain receptors in his mouth being "sensitive"... and how he hated pineapple because of the bromelain...(the substance that breaks up the protein in your mouth, that's why it's tingly)

and then my oc asks about like regular "body" pain since touch is after all one of the senses of his that have been heightened, and he explains something along the lines of even if the feeling of pain is heightened -- his body isn't actually weaker or more sensitive - so while he gets injured like anyone else he feels the pain of those injuries differently (more). over time he has gotten used to it but its still something he's working on as he hurts himself worse with every fight.

WHAT I'M GETTING AT is that i came to @briefcasejuice about this because they're very knowledgeable about matt stuff and comic matt especially, and they told me it did sound pretty accurate - so now i guess i just want to know -

how do you interpret or view matt's sensibility when it comes to pain - and if it came up in TRT (which maybe it did and i forgot oops?) how would you write it out?

and btw - congrats on the mango thing!! what's next on the fruit discovery journey 🤨 (what else can i be shocked that you didn't try)

Ok first of I love the idea of a Daredevil tumblr fandom council, because now I've got the image of all of us gathered solemnly to talk about DD fandom topics and headcanons like

Second off, ooooh this is a good question. I can't remember if I've ever gotten deep into it in TRT, although it'll probably come up eventually. But I absolutely agree with @briefcasejuice, and with your take on it. This seems right, for a couple reasons, including my own experience with pain.

So a lot of this is based on my own issues (and one of the reasons I relate really strongly to Matt's sense of touch, touch starvation, and pain, and when writing generally include him being comforted and going near comatose beneath gentle touch). Without getting too specific, due to chronic pain and health problems, I experience something called allodynia - "pain due to a stimulus that does not normally provoke pain." Basically, my nerves are all spun up to 11 and even light sensation often reads as pain, regardless of whether I'm actually hurt - Matt's comment about 'cotton feels like sandpaper on my skin'? I get that, cause rough fabric's painful to me (another ex: put icy hot on my skin once, just about clawed it off my arm because I was convinced something had gone wrong and it was burning me). And on bad days, even very soft fabrics or, hell, a breeze, any sensation anywhere I have nerves feel like bits of glass grinding into a burn. Best explanation I have for a really bad day. And we know Matt's sense of touch is heightened. So I often think he feels a lot like me, and how you described it feels right.

Everything hurts more, even if you're not being hurt more, and even if your body's strong enough physically to take whatever's being done. Physically, there's no reason his body can't handle cotton sheets, or a food with acid, and God knows the man can take a punch. Functionally, his body is fine. But his nerves don't act that way. They send way more signals than they need to, and sure, this helps if he's trying to use them to his own advantage, but it also means he's left wide open to a far higher degree of pain from stimuli that most of us would consider more minor (pineapple, in this case) along with the pain we all regularly avoid.

Does he mostly block it out? Yes. Especially on a day to day, to the point where he may actually miss smaller injuries because he's focused on tuning out other, larger pains. I know I do - your brain eventually just goes 'oh new baseline and I still need to live so Imma put everything below it into the background so it doesn't stop us doing what we need to'. I hug people, I touch things that are rough, I use hot water with the dishes, and if I focus on it, I remember that it hurts a bit, but I've learned to tune that out for the most part. Much like me, Matt's dealt with this for years, so while he does what he can (soft sheets, avoiding certain foods, wearing certain types of clothes), he's gotten used to a lot of the day to day stuff he can't avoid, though like you said, as the injuries pile up, it just gets worse and worse as that pain stacks. Some of it might be tempered by surges of adrenaline and endorphins (why I theorize he can fight even when injured - tune it out thanks to all the practice, PLUS fighting so ferociously that his body pumps him up until he can ignore it, at least until he crashes afterwards, and crashes hard), but he's definitely feeling it far, far worse.

So I basically think it's likely, especially when pain is stacking, that he's just made a bunch of calculations for his everyday life on what's worth the pain and what isn't - certain foods? No point. Cotton sheets? No point. There is no benefit, and so he comfortably avoids it, whereas going out to fight he generally always sees as worth it since there's a tangible benefit. Those calculations at least are something we all do every day - we decide the pain of a tattoo or working out or that sour candy is worth it cause it gives us something we like. Matt just takes it up to 11. I can absolutely see him taking something like, say, pineapple - tingly and acidic - and not only feeling pain when eating it but also just literally running the mental math and going, 'yeah not worth it' because he's in enough pain day to day thanks to injuries and other things he can't avoid.

In summary: you're right and I headcanon Matt operates much like someone who's been dealing with allodynia for a while, which means he'd feel more pain from stimuli even if it's not hurting him, so he chooses things in his day-to-day to avoid and then just throws himself into the pain on big things and hopes the endorphins and adrenaline will help him tune it out.

LASTLY THANK YOU ON THE MANGO! I cannot BELIEVE I went so long without knowing how fucking delicious they were. New fruits I haven't tried that are on my list now that I realized I need to find if there are MORE DELICIOUS UNKNOWNS LIKE MANGOS: boysenberries, figs, grapefruit, guava, kumquats, passionfruit, papaya, prickly pears, and satsumas!

[selamat-linting]

living after experiencing sa is so weird like, the same piece of writing about assault could do nothing or it could send me into a week long spiral and its just a matter of dumb luck or pure chance that determines my brains' reaction to it. i've had moments where im legitimately triggered in the middle of re-reading something i actually enjoy as porn. over the years i figured it was because i had small triggers that are abstract or wasnt easily noticeable or doesnt feel like anything until its in the spesific context of sa. like being trapped in an enclosed space with strangers, begging to be sent home, being deceived, having your preferences and interests weaponized against you, the really lonely and painful walk home afterwards where no one comes to save you but maybe its better off this way since you dont want to be seen, those are things im particularly sensitive with. for example, a few years ago i got really messed up about this anecdote of a kid who got kidnapped by a neighbor for a few hours. he offered to see his cat and then lock them up in a room while theyre playing with said kittens. nothing actually happens but that made me legit depressed for a few days. while im fine talking with my friend about an incident where she got followed by a creepy guy who groped her while she's walking home. both situations are horrifying and bad ofc, but i cant exactly communicate or find an easy way to filter out the bad. like, i can handle hearing the graphic details, the bare bones account of what happens, but if it touches on how the victim was tricked or deceived or gets taken advantage of, even when its basically the least upsetting part, i just couldnt do it.

idk, maybe its because my experience was more in the mental stuff. yeah sure, it was only some groping, an almost kiss, and some sex talk. but the context was that i asked for help, someone friendly comes along, they say theyre just helping me but turns out they actually have ulterior motives. i was stuck in a car for hours to god knows where, fully knowing i was gonna get raped when the car eventually stops, trying to plead or at least delay it with someone i thought was a friend without being too harsh because i know they could do even worse things if i drop this thin veneer of friendliness we got going on. and all the while this asshole kept touching me in spots i didnt even realize was a sensitive place for me and i had to keep a straight face the whole time because if they see a hint that i liked it, its over. did i like though? yeah. do i want it? fuck no. never in a million years. and i felt betrayed because im supposed to have that moment of discovery with a boyfriend or a girlfriend and it was supposed to be nice and comforting but its not. and i might associate gentle touches with this forever. and there's also a part of me that said, hey somebody wants me. dont you want to be wanted? i might as well enjoy it because no one's gonna offer me hot car sex like this. i should try to get myself wet! this is a new experience that i should just see the bright side of. im supposed to be a kinky slut right? i just turned 20. and after all, i promised myself, after the first time i had my sa as a kid, the next time it happens im gonna fight. and what am i doing right now? i'm just running my mouth. im laughing at my soon to be rapists' joke and i tell him we should meet up later instead of doing everything right now since i had work later in the day. this isnt fighting, its bargaining. and all the while im wondering if i look pretty while im doing this. i hope i look pretty. im just wearing sweatshirt and pajama pants. this is sick, why do i want to look good while im sexually assaulted?

i never told this to anyone except a friend. but even she didnt get the whole account. she just know it happens. its the part that actually upsets me that i didnt tell her. the whole violated trust thing. and how dumb i am for instantly accepting help from an acquaintance i dont even know that well. and what happens after the car stops. all she knows is that when it stops, i pushed him off of me and i left the car and run.

to her it just seems like im valiantly fighting off an asshole. she didnt know that after i ran, a bunch of men saw me running. they asked me if i need help. they were kind. but i thought of the hassle of reporting to the police, being grilled with questions, have my entire behavior scrutinized, and my parents vacillating between unhelpful anger or chastising me for being so trusting and eventually isolating me because i cant be trusted to exist in a public space without being harassed and god i dont want to miss work today and theyre gonna ask why if i had to miss a day and theyre gonna know too. so obviously i shut up. i couldnt say anything. the fuck who assaulted me came, and get this, i went back to his car. i didnt sit next to him, i was sitting at the backseat, and he was angry and yelled at me the entire time while driving me back to the closest bus station. i didnt say anything, and i actually paid him money before leaving. i was a coward.

in hindsight, what happens after the next few month after that was just me trying to compensate for the shame and utter incompetence i felt. i thought i was good at being confrontational and assertive, but when it actually matters, i cant speak. it was awful. i mean, it was a moment of self improvement, i did evolve from being an awkward self-important debate kid to an adult who relies on being good with persuading people for a living. im proud of that. but the feeling of helplessness still remains. im still afraid that when it happens again, i'd just clam up like usual. even though i already successfully fend off several people trying to fuck with me before anything that bad ever happens because im a hot saleswoman now. it felt weird calling myself a victim or a survivor because, it just happens. i didnt survive shit nor do i want to be a victim. i dont want to be pitied. and i dont want to be called brave or anything because im anything but.

except that everytime something reminds me of my sa incident, i kept having this urge to tell somebody, and i'd wrote a long paragraph detailing everything that happened including all of the uncomfortable details that didnt make me look good as a victim. and then i'd delete it before sending because its not good to tell your personal triggers online right? but i have no one i want to talk about this irl. and i cant imagine any well-meaning response that doesnt make me angry. i kept thinking about it. if anyone acknowledged this happens to me, i have no socially acceptable response. im not sure if anyone could understand or be sympathetic. i mean, imagine someone told you a grave secret about them and then they get angry and throw a tantrum when you say youre keeping their secret to the grave. youre in the right to be angry and confused at them. and its one thing to write a retrospective like this, and its another thing talk about it directly. i wouldnt be self aware to control myself. i'd just ruin another friendship because i got pissed off for no discernable reason.

i dont really know where im going with this. i think i just wanted to get this out of my system. its been what? three years? im sick of keeping that shit in. i think i just need to talk about it, sort of like a confessional before moving on for good. anyway, your usual shitposting will resume shortly. bye bitch!

[what-if-nct]

yooo i have been dead all summer and not really doing anything for wayyy too long but the thing that brings me back to tumblr was a dream i had last night which was all over the place but basically i was a freshman in high school again and haechan was this one classmate i had that was sooo damn annoying but he followed me around to all my classes and literally everywhere? like even my closet at home (probably a gay euphemism from my mind lmao) and i had to take the act again so i got really stressed so i went to a classroom where my friend told me "the hugger" was (apparently there was an official position where someone was just paid to hug stressed people) ane there was johnny?? but completely purple and weirdly skinny and tall and he hugged me and then i woke up :(( johnny hugs sound wayyy too good for me not to have them 😭 now im slightly sad because i want to hug johnny and i cant 😭😭 what the fuck is my brain even trying to get at with this 😭 anyways joyce!!! how are you!! how's life going for you?? sending lots of love💞💞💞

Hii! Good to hear from you! And that sounds so much like Haechan, clingy and annoying. You're his new Renjun. Alien Johnny being paid to give out hugs is also pretty on brand for him. Him using the alien filter is forever in my brain. He's just a goofy little guy. And I've been doing fine. I'm not sure if I want to see the Barbie movie in theater again or wait till I can just rent it from Amazon or YouTube. But then I remember how uncomfy the seats were. I fell like if my friends and I spread out more it would have been better cause I just wanted to sit criss cross applesauce so badly cause of how uncomfy the seats were. Since it was my birthday we planned to get a treat after, I didn't even want something sweet I just wanted a Popeyes biscuit for some reason. But we were all too tired. After saying all of that I think I'm just gonna wait to rent it. I liked the movie I just wish the end was different and it focused more on Barbie's journey through self discovery. I think Ken's part could have been nixed or different like him just being a supportive bumbling but sweet himbo boyfriend. I know there was a message I just wanted more Barbie. Though I found out from the barbie movie Instagram. Me and Stereotypical Barbie both have Leo Sun and Pisces Moon. And Ken is a Pisces and Hyunjin is a Pisces. But I would let Hyunjin live in my dream house. We can even share a bed like Midge and Allan does. I send you so much love and happiness🩷🩷🩷