#and i especially get that after spending so much time with straight women this past week | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

peachywritess · 2 years ago

Text

Unmei | OT7

bangtan (OT7) x fem!reader

01 - what i need...

☁️ unmei – 運命 (うんめい): a noun meaning 'fate' or 'destiny' in Japanese. ☁️ genre: royal!AU, OT7!AU, reincarnation!AU ; smut (eventually), angst. ☁️ Unmei will deal with very delicate and quite dark themes, so please if you are a minor, DO NOT interact. I will always put a trigger warning at the start of every chapter, so if you feel unconfortable DO NOT read. ☁️ ☁️ author's note: hello lovelies, author here! "unmei" has been in my head for a while, and i kept thinking about shaping my thoughts into words; i do realise that this story, per se, is quite ambitious but i really hope you will enjoy reading it. ☁️ chapter's TW: panick attack, mentions of death (side character). ☁️ word count: 3,5k

next >

☁️ taglist @shabbamadapot @jnghs

! disclaimer - This story is a work of fiction. I do not own BTS and the description of them in this story does not want to reflect nor portray them in real life.

Crystal chandeliers, shining glasses of the finest wine, and chords intoning classical melodies. Fingers intertwining as gowns kept swaying, strangers chattering about politics, war, and sometimes about passions, literature, and secrets…

Overly-dressed up women, whose make-up was classy and whose voices were soft, whispered into each other’s ears as young men passed by.

The high society, the aristocracy - the world you were fated to be born in and to live in.

The corset you wore was too tight on your abdomen since you could not eat more of the cake. You always finished dessert - and the sponge cake had strawberries inside, so this was very unlike you. You were sitting down - back straight and shoulders relaxed as your mother had taught you - while the other young women danced in the hall. You could also see your father talking to another short, long-bearded man, and you had hoped the topic was indeed not you.

That was the first, and probably the last, time you had agreed to accompany your father to a Grand Ball; he perfectly knew you didn’t fancy celebrations or big events, but he had insisted so much over the past month your mother had begged you to go with him.

“Just this once, darling. You know how men are, especially your Father!”

You had convinced yourself it was part of her plan to finally get rid of him for a night. Even the Queens needed a day off, and you were aware of your father’s antics: the King was really needy, and loved being taken care of… Just like a boy.

Nevertheless, you could no longer lie to yourself: you strongly suspected something else had led your father to this event. You had just turned twenty-one years old, so you were still too young to marry, weren’t you?

A few months before your birthday, your father had requested to speak to you about an important topic concerning the crown, and you knew that he wished for you to find a man to marry, so that you could inherit his place on the throne. However, as soon as the word arranged left his lips, you had already stormed off. You were not going to spend the rest of your days with someone you barely knew, and didn’t like.

After that discussion. your father never brought up the matter publicly, but you perfectly knew he had already informed your mother about it. To you, it wasn’t fair: they had married for love, and not for the crown. Their marriage was not decided by someone else aside from them, so you thought you deserved the same treatment they got when they were young.

What your father did not know was that you already loved someone. You knew that if he ever found out about your relationship, he would be furious, but since your teenage years, you had become cunning and knew how to lie.

Knowing how to lie and avoiding getting caught were two plus points, especially for a princess whose life got constantly suffocated by people who wanted to pry into your privacy. Not that you had one, of course.

Kim Taehyung. He was your bodyguard, the person you trusted most in the world. Just imagining his face sent shivers down your spine, certainly not with a negative implication. From the first day your father introduced you to him when you were only sixteen, you had fallen head over heels for him.

For most of your time together, your love had remained hidden, mainly because, in front of everyone's eyes, Taehyung remained formal and silent. However, when you were alone together - although it happened rarely - he revealed his true colourful identity: he talked about art, how much he loved to paint and how you, in his eyes, were the perfect subject to depict.

"If only I could, I would paint you. That way, even when we are far apart, I would be able to admire you as many times as I want."

Taehyung was an extremely gifted and articulate speaker. He always used the perfect words for every situation, and his voice, so deep it made your heart flutter, made it easy for him.

Maybe it was the way he squinted his eyes every time he laughed or the way his gaze was always focused on you. But you knew you loved him.

What you didn't know, however, was whether he loved you.

You sharply inhaled, moving the remaining piece of cake with the silver fork, debating whether to eat it and feel sick or leave it there.

“Is this not to your liking?”

A male voice suddenly awoke you from your thoughts, and you turned your head in order to connect it to a face. Your heart skipped a beat when you finally saw him: he was beautiful, really. And not the kind of beauty that intoxicates you, that weighs you down, but a beauty so delicate that it leaves you speechless for a moment.

“I hate it.”

You replied, batting your eyelashes repeatedly, as it would have been impolite not to answer him immediately. A proper young lady never stutters - you could hear your mother’s stern tone in your head.

Instantly, you noticed his dark-brown eyes, and you swore you could lose yourself in them.

His full lips curved into a heart-shaped smile - different from the ones you were used to seeing, those fake, mechanical laughs - and his eyes shrank to pretty half-moons.

“The Ball, or the cake?”

His question was innocent, yet you could hint at a spark of curiosity in his gaze. You took a brief moment to admire him: his dark hair was neatly combed back, and he wore a slightly unbuttoned white silk shirt and black trousers that seemed to fit him a little tight.

He did not let you answer, allowing himself to sit by your side without asking any permission. You were breathless for seconds that seemed to last almost too long as his hand gently grasped your wrist, with such delicacy that you seemed not to feel his touch.

His fingertips squeezed lightly, until he brought the back of your hand to his rosy lips, but without making any contact with your skin.

The only contact that never ceased, however, was that of his eyes on you. Your ears seemed to stop hearing the music and the room all around seemed to have emptied out completely as the man in front of you consumed you with his eyes.

“Jimin, Park Jimin.” He announced, and his name echoed into your head. “It is an honour to finally make your acquaintance, Princess.”

“You already knew who I was.”

You let go of your grip on your fork with the hand you still had free, before making a brief bow as you lowered your gaze.

“Oh no, Princess. I ask you not to bow to me."

You furrowed an eyebrow before a small smile appeared on your lips. You knew it was rude to smile like that, but his words reminded you of a quote in a book which your mother read to you as a child.

"You remind me of someone." You murmured, retracting the hand Jimin still held close to his lips. Thus, you remembered the gesture and your cheeks blushed.

"Someone you like?"

Your smile became bigger, but you tried hard to hide it by bringing a hand towards your lips.

"Park Jimin, did you by any chance come here to court me?"

"Would that be considered a sin, Princess?"

The air in the hall became strangely heavier. Either the presence of that unknown prince had caused a strange effect on you, or the corset was really so tight that it took your breath away.

Out of the corner of your eye, you glanced at your father who - at the same moment - looked in your direction, pointing at you with open arms.

"My daughter! My beloved child, she always precedes me in everything!"

He pronounced this aloud and, as his timbre was very deep, the words were heard by many in the audience. The man next to your father, the one he had been talking to all evening, stood a few steps behind him as they both approached the table.

"King Park, this is my beautiful daughter, Y/N." He gave the man a resounding pat on the shoulder as soon as he was close enough. "And I guess this young man is your son, Jimin."

You remained in complete silence as your eyes moved between the two men. You were confused by the situation, yet when you turned to Jimin, he did not have the same expression. He seemed... relieved, by their presence.

"It is an honour, Your Highness. I was fortunate enough to meet your daughter before the appointed meeting, I hope it is not an inconvenience."

Appointed meeting, those words echoed in your mind.

"Of course not, why should it be? That is something to celebrate!"

Still sitting far too composedly, you watched them talk as though you were not there to hear them. You felt like a ghost trying to participate in a conversation,

You parted your lips slightly, attempting to speak.

However, the dark blond-haired boy next to you interrupted your attempt. His voice was calm, and the words he used were always well thought out as if he had studied a script.

"I would be grateful, Your Highness, if you would allow me to ask your daughter for a dance."

As he said this, you couldn't help but keep your eyes locked on him. His attitude was certainly that of a prince, but there was something about him - something extremely mysterious - that you still couldn't pick up on.

"I-"

The words came out of your mouth automatically, but you still had so many questions on the tip of your tongue that remained unanswered.

"But, of course, Prince Jimin. Y/N would be pleased, wouldn't you, my daughter?"

No, you were definitely not pleased. At that very moment, you just wanted to run away. Like a lost puppy, you looked for a familiar face in the surrounding hall hoping to see Taehyung. As you looked for help that would never come, the three men kept watching you, waiting for an answer.

You had two choices: say no and disappoint your father, then endure his complaints on the long ride home, or say yes to give him five minutes of satisfaction.

Your approval wouldn't have led to consequences, would it?

"I would be delighted." You lied, batting your long eyelashes several times, something you had learned to do to show interest. You knew men liked that.

Your father gave poor King Park another resounding pat on the shoulder, inviting him to leave the two of you alone.

Jimin seemed satisfied with your response as he gave you a sincere smile. You did likewise, before rising from your chair - which had become uncomfortable - allowing your dress to regain its shape. Your thighs had gone numb from sitting for at least two hours watching the guests dance, so - as if you had suddenly forgotten how to walk - your legs gave out.

A pair of hands grabbed your hips, making sure to hold them firmly, and when you looked up, you found yourself dangerously close to the blond man's face. Your hands rested on his, grabbing his fingers to loosen their grip on you. You noticed that these were incredibly cold and not too big - not like Taehyung's.

"Forgive me, I shouldn't have. Are you alright, Princess?"

"I'm fine, I apologise, I don't know what came over me." You took a step back, moving further away from the man, as if you weren't going to be dancing together anytime soon.

An awkward silence fell between the two of you. Your face was slightly lowered and your eyes stared at the shiny floor tiles. You could not imagine the expression Jimin might have had: was he perhaps impatient? Or, like you, was he feeling embarrassed?

"Don't you think it's better to put embarrassment aside, Princess?" Of the two, Jimin was the first to break the silence. "After all, we have to get used to each other's presence."

You raised your head abruptly, and your pearl earrings tinkled from the movement. Your heart drummed in your chest and your insides twisted. Repeating the phrase in your head, you tried to understand its meaning.

"What does it mean?"

Your voice came out broken, it happened to you whenever you felt anxious.

"Come on, Princess, don't play dumb. Our wedding is only a few months away now."

Your breath began to get shorter and shorter, as if someone was tightening the strings of your corset increasingly tighter, and a hole was opening up in your chest. You felt as if your lungs were being torn from your chest and the world around you was spinning all too fast. Jimin's face contorted into a worried expression and you could see his mouth move, but every sound was muffled.

"I must… I must go and freshen up."

You didn't know what tone you had used, and you didn't even know if the prince had heard your words, but within moments you had already drifted off, disappearing into the crowd of people. To the unfamiliar eye, it would have been difficult to recognise you. But those who knew you well - on the other hand - would have found you instantly.

Regardless of your appearance or posture, you entered a hall with few light sources, the majority of which was in darkness. Your right hand was resting on your chest, clutching the hard material of your corset, and you wished you could just rip it off.

Soon, a veil of tears blurred your vision even more, causing everything around you to become less clear. You did not even apologise when your shoulder bumped into someone else, continuing undaunted on your way.

The person you had hit, however, stopped and turned their gaze, watching you flee. They continued to watch you until you turned a corner, disappearing into the darkness. Having found a quiet place, you slid down a wall until you found yourself sitting on the cold floor. The room you were in was dark - the dim light of the moon coming from the one large window. The room was empty, only for a few abandoned paintings leaning against the walls.

A thousand questions tormented your thoughts. The idea that your father had given you away to a stranger made you nauseous, and the more you thought about it, the more the cake you had eaten rose up in your stomach. You brought your hands to your mouth, choking back a sob, while your breath was still too short to allow you to think clearly.

You were alone. You felt completely abandoned to a cruel fate, a fate you had not chosen but had to undertake - whether you wanted to or not. Disbelief gave way to anger, and anger soon became disappointment.

Your father had sold you and most likely felt no remorse. You ran your hands through your hair, forgetting the fact that it had been carefully arranged, therefore ruining your hairstyle.

Breathe, Y/N, breathe. But even though you kept telling yourself to calm down, it was impossible. You wished you could escape, hide your identity and finally live the life you had dreamed of.

But your Red Thread of Fate had been tied to the Crown since your birth.

"Y/N!"

A familiar voice resounded in the room and all was silent for a few seconds until quick footsteps approached. The figure knelt right in front of you and - without hesitation - grabbed both your wrists so that your gaze focused on them. Your eyes immediately locked onto a dark-brown pair, looking at you intensely.

"Y/N, it's me, Taehyung. It's me."

Serenity. Kim Taehyung brought serenity into every place he stepped.

You watched his face fully illuminated by the moonshine, and took it all in. His black hair was slightly wavy and fell over his face, framing it perfectly.

If Hell had his face, then you were ready to burn for Eternity.

"It's all right, love. I'm here."

Taehyung didn't waste any time sitting on the ground, picking you up by the hips so that you were resting on his legs. An arm firmly wrapped around your shoulders while a hand gently caressed one of your cheeks.

The warmth of his body caused a feeling of cosiness in you, yet your chest still felt like it was about to implode. "I- I can't breathe."

He instantly seemed to realise what the problem was, because his eyes focused on your chest. Suddenly, his hand reached down all the way to your breast until he grasped some of the threads that bound your corset from the front: he pulled with such force that the seams tore and - finally - all the pressure released. Like a newborn child, you began to breathe, and after a few seconds warm tears wet your cheeks.

You were incredibly scared, still in shock. But Taehyung held you close, gently, almost fearful of breaking you like a porcelain doll. You felt his warm breath in the crook of your neck and his scent intoxicated you completely, making you forget everything.

Your breasts were partly exposed, but you could never feel embarrassed in front of him. Not in front of the man who had seen every last detail of you, not in front of the man who had explored every inch of your body.

"Please don't let me go."

Taehyung hummed and continued to hold you in his arms while giving you a concerned look. His eyebrows were furrowed and you knew he needed an explanation as soon as possible. But Taehyung was also aware that you were still unable to give it to him.

"I won't ever let you go. But now I need you to calm down, hm?" He said softly, as if he was talking to a child. His hand reached for yours, grabbing it gently, and bringing it close to his face.

"Do you remember how many moles I have? Do you want to count them?"

Serenity. Taehyung brought serenity, and every word he spoke to you came from the heart. Ever since you knew him, he had always been affectionate and attentive towards you. He knew you better than anyone else.

So, of course you knew the answer to the first question.

You smiled, heart beating fast but not out of fear. With the tip of your index finger you began to trace every spot on Taehyung's face, his skin always soft and flawless.

"One. You touched the small mole on the tip of his nose, near the right nostril.

"Two." Then it was the turn of the mole under the lid of his right eye, the spot you found most distinctive.

"Three." You murmured, as your heart beat faster and faster. You knew very well where the third mole was since it was your favourite. So you brought your face closer to his, so that your noses brushed against each other, before placing a tender kiss on his lips.

Taehyung's lips were never dry, touching them was always pleasant. Kissing him was always pleasant.

"Good girl."

His voice was hoarse as he moistened his lips and bit the lower one. You were so fragile, so exposed before him. All this delicacy, he wanted to destroy it. And Taehyung felt like a lunatic because a rarity like you was only to be protected.

But you provoked mixed feelings in him. Your bare breasts, your smooth skin, your eyes full of innocence and love for him.

Taehyung wanted to break you.

"You look so pretty right now, dove."

He hummed, almost like he had never thought such nonsense until that moment. "You would be even prettier if you told me what happened to you."

Your smile disappeared, and the perfect world that had been created began to crumble. You sat up, hiding your exposed chest with your arms.

"Taehyung, I..."

You spoke quietly, afraid of the reaction the brunette would have had. He wouldn't have blamed you, because he knew how much your position as heir to the throne made you suffer, but knowing Taehyung, he would have stepped back to make it less difficult for you.

The thought of not being able to see him again killed you.

Before you could say anything else, a man you recognised as one of your father's guards burst into the room. Your first reaction was to move away from Taehyung as quickly as possible, but the man seemed upset for a reason worse than that: his breath was short and his face completely pale.

"Princess Y/N, we've been looking everywhere for you!" He spoke without ever taking his eyes off you. That's when Taehyung removed his jacket, placing it on your shoulders.

"What's going on? Is my father looking for me?"

"Princess, I- I'm sorry…" He stammered in a slurred voice. "His Majesty, your Father, he…"

You were silent, waiting for him to finish the sentence as the man beside you loosened his grip on your shoulders.

"He… Has been assassinated, Your Highness."

397 notes · View notes

fatfemmefreaquency · 1 year ago

Text

hey y’all. i’ve been innactive here for an age, it seems

there were a few reasons for my disappearing act, but mostly i was increasingly sick of tumblr cracking down on “nsft” / “community guideline limited” content and how bleak that makes a social media/ microblogging space for sex workers and trans & queer folks, especially trans women/ transfeminine people and trans BIPoC

but… reasonably safe and sustainable spaces to exist in on the internet are rapidly disappearing (and by “disappearing” i mostly mean being actively destroyed by asshole tech bros), so after a couple months of lurking on tumblr more than i have in the past two-ish years, i think i’m going to start posting here again (maybe)

i’m a lot less “extremely-online” than i used to be and spend most of my time away from social media these days—even when i’m on a computer

and i’m not sure if i’ll be here to stay

tumblr is still really cracking down on content that is restricted by community guidelines, and while i “get it,” this still fundamentally seems like a violation of freedom of expression to me—and it’s a policy that is disproportionately applied against trans and queer folks like myself at a time when creeping fascism already aggressively targets us for censorship, stigma, and other violent harm

i’m also not sure that social media/ microblogging in general still has the same place in my life that it used to

i came of age on the internet and on tumblr in particular. i’ve been posting on tumblr on one blog or another since 2010

but the internet (like most other spaces in the world) is increasingly oppressive, hierarchical, tightly controlled and surveilled by both major multi-national corporations and governments, anti-freedom, and in many spaces out-and-out fascist—and being a marginalized person (in my personal case: trans, queer, disabled, and more) in public spaces is a precarious position these days

so… all that to say: hi again! if you’re still following! i hope you’ve been well! (feel free to unfollow if you don’t want to still be following me—i know it’s been a while since i would have last crossed your dash)

i used to be “toadbutch” (once upon a time i was “neko-catsume” and before that even i was “passingprivilege” (cringy! i know! I was like… 17) and before even that i was “marigoldmay” and, way back when i started on here, “etaunknown”) but lately i’ve been on a journey and…

as i transition i’ve realized that i mostly wanted to be butch and embody that particular queer/ lesbian gender role because i wanted to be perceived as masculine/ androgynous and have my masculinity respected as a transmasc dyke

early on in my social transition i felt very insecure in both my masculinity and transness and felt that presenting femme, even though i wanted to embody a queer femininity and not a cishet femininity, would result in people—especially cis, straight, and non-queer people—misgendering me more

but the more comfy i get with my gender and my masculinity as i get further into my transition & grow into my adult self, the more i’ve settled into the realization that i’m very, very much femme—and a bit of a fruity femme at that. hence the URL change. i’m fat. i’m femme. and i’m not going to apologize for being bigender and riding the line between dykiness and faggotry

if you’re not here for that sort of queer complexity: here’s the door. you won’t be missed

tangentially related to my past desire to be butch/ identification with butchness and temporary embodiment of it:

i also love and admire butches and masc people—and particularly butch lesbians and women—very much. on some levels i wanted to be like them, to be like the people i admired so strongly. but it is possible to love people and feel a profound kinship with them and not choose or try to be like them—this is one of life’s profound joys and a lesson that i’m still learning

i have no idea if i’ll still be on tumblr in another day, a month, or a year

i definitely will still be my freaky boydyke, ladyfag self at all of those future moments though. so. count on that, i guess

i am never going to abandon my love for other lesbians and queer people. my support for people with complex identities and self-determination. and i will always love and admire queer masculinity and butch gender expression

i’m prepared to give tumblr another chance… even though i’m not sure i want to give any social media or any public expression of myself a chance in this current socio-political climate. and also in spite of the fact that the corporate entity behind tumblr seems plagued by the same flawed capitalist mindset that is damaging other social networks in this cultural moment

further: i’m just as wary of puritanical respectability-policing lgbtq+ people on here as i am of puritanical respectability-policing anti-queer and anti-trans conservatives

reactionaries exist in the lgbtq+ community every bit as much as they do amongst cishets. and i have no interest in engaging with anyone of either stripe

I’m profoundly disturbed by the level of radical feminist, sex negative, political lesbian, lesbian separatist, and trans-exclusionary, so-called “gender critical” ideology that has wormed its way into lgbtq+ spaces and into lesbian and sapphic communities as of late

too many young lgbtq people are aggressively exclusionary and most of their exclusionary ideas have their ideological roots in radical feminism and in separatist movements. these youth are often heavily puritanical, very detached from in-person queer community, unconnected to older generations of queer people (even to elder millennials or Gen X), and have no genuine understanding of queer history beyond misinformation and spin-doctored posturing posted by other respectability-seeking young people online

i fully support all good-faith queer self-determination. i fully support all consensual sexual activity between adults that is engaged in with healthy boundaries and with proper risk awareness

i support these things because i work to completely reject the respectability politics that are necessary to engage in any power-adjacent or privileged role within the white supremacist imperialist capitalist cis heteropatriarchy. you cannot dismantle any oppressive system while engaging in sex-negativity and policing the self-determination of queer and trans people

if actively posting on tumblr again brings me into contact with too many reactionaries, i might be here today and gone tomorrow

i guess we’ll just have to see

#long post #pinned #guess who’s back #url change #text post

12 notes · View notes

caps-clever-girl · 1 year ago

Note

Humphrey/captain and Humphrey/Sophie if you’re willing for the ship ask! - thelastplantagenet ✨

OUGH SORRY THIS IS SO LATE I HAD WORK ALL WEEK!!!!!!!! I am SO happy i got these 2 ships you know me so well T dsjdhfkjs <3

These two…… THESE TWO. I have so many feelings about humphrey and sophie i will literally take these two in any way shape or form. I especially love that their canon interactions leaves a LOT of ambiguity and its up to fans to interpret them in any way they like - and i personally like all interpretations. Did they actually try at some point? Who knows. I like if they did or if they didn’t. the arrangement of their marriage, the plot and language barriers put a LOT of strain on them, and of course just the general times and climate. In canon, that could have destroyed any chance of them liking each other more than platonically (or even destroyed platonic chances) but equally it could have just been a barrier that either one - or both - fought to get past. Humphrey consistently tried to make her comfortable despite the situation, tried to spend time with her and tried to get her things to make her happy. Even though he seems to recognise that she wants nothing to do with him / hates him, he strives for some kind of amicability. And i love that sophie does seem to appreciate this. She appreciates him, that he’s at least nice and hes trying, and that can happen regardless of whether she is in love with him or not. And even if she did just straight up fucking hate him i can get behind that too lol, the angst these two create is delicious. i the idiots turned around today and said “humphrey and sophie were never a thing” id be just as happy as if they said “oh yeah they were sooo pining for eachother they just never managed a confession” because both options create such different stories and i love them both! their ambiguity just means we can have them any way we want, and i want ALL THE WAYS! I like them loving eachother. I like them being besties. I like them hating eachother. I like them one-sided. These two really have it all <3

MMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!! MY BOYS MY BOYS MY BOOOOYS!!!!! You know FINE WELL how much i adore these two numpties. Humphrey just wants somebody to love, and someone that loves him back. He’s had a lonely life, and its my personal headcanon that along with that he is very touch starved - which is not helped by his decapitated state in teh afterlife either. And we all know how lonely cap is, and likely was in his life as well. I think Humphrey was the sprt of man who kept to his vows even if Sophie did (or didnt) hate him/go near him, and cap didnt even know he was gay until after he died. He might have tried to blend in and try something with women, or he might not have, but either way i dont think he spent his young adulthood with much contact either so i think the pair of them are touch starved and it would be nice for them to fulfil that with each other: someone who understands. Also i think you’ve said its likely humphrey participated in war in his time, or at least had knowledge of it? Which is something none of the other ghosts have, so i think cap would like knowing someone who experienced something similar to his own life. I think humphs personality would suit Cap incredibly well. Humph is gentle and caring, and very understanding - which to me, is something cap needs. But at the same time, humph is a sassy fuckin boy. He has a spine and if Cap fucks up or is being an ass humphrey will tell him. (“Got fed up of you being a prat?”) Humphrey would be happy to indulge in Cap’s enjoyment of nature and animals as well. Humph gets left in the house or chucked outside a lot without much way to see any of it, so it would be nice if Cap took him on a patrol and Humphrey was actually able to see it all properly. God man something about these two just clicks with me im so goddamn bonkers about them. Honestly one of my fave ghosts ships out there. ALSO THEIR SHIP NAME IS FUCKING “DE-CAP-ITATION” SO. ITS LITERALLY FATE!!!!!!

#bbc ghosts #squeak.ask #squeak.txt #thelastplantagenet

4 notes · View notes

tehuti88-art · 2 years ago

Text

5/26/23: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's character from my anthro WWII storyline is PFC/Lance Corporal Reseda Rat. He plays a big role in Silver Rat's character development, though it's a side plot I haven't worked on in a long while. There'll be more about him later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding his design, he seems a bit too young and naive here, may need to tweak him sometime.

TUMBLR EDIT: Well...I've had a really, really rough couple of months (I'm typing this in mid/late-July) and haven't had time to catch up on my blog or other things. So I'm not in a very good place to be my typical longwinded self just now, though I guess I'll manage. I have to admit I don't have as much to say for Reseda as I should, though. He hasn't opened up to me yet.

I can say that Reseda, and Silver along with him, were the main driving force behind the circa-2000 reboot. I had plans, and I think maybe I did start, to write a novella "extracted" from the main plot of The Trench Rats, focusing solely on these two's subplot, and entitled "Tough Love." And...huh, I only just now realize, a year and a half after the series has rebooted for a second time, that the circumstances of this newest reboot are eerily similar. Although I still don't understand why a plethora of new and revamped characters, as well as gluts of new plot, have suddenly sprung to the surface this time, I do recall the single circumstance that led to it. Again, I don't know why, but I started thinking about a character I'd never been very interested in or spent much time on, either Papillon or Drake--I think it was Papillon. He just randomly popped into my head; don't know why. I then for some reason pondered the possibility of him getting into a relationship...with another male character. I paired up Papillon and Drake, started writing a scene...then another, unfamiliar character crawled out of the woodwork, requesting a scene: Otto Himmel. And then the floodgates opened.

Well...circa 2000, a similar scenario emerged, only thus time featuring Silver and newer character Reseda, and somewhat more ambiguous in nature. While Drake and Papillon are certainly gay, it's a lot murkier with Reseda and especially Silver. I think Reseda is actually bisexual yet much prefers men; there's a scene where he spends the night with a couple of female prostitutes, but it's mostly to distract himself from his thoughts about Silver, he has to get really drunk to go through with it, and he doesn't end up enjoying himself at all. I imagine it isn't the only time he's been with women, he just really doesn't prefer it. So either he's "kinda" bisexual, with a distinct preference for men, or he's simply in denial.

Silver...I'm not sure how to even describe him. His orientation is an anomaly to someone like me who prefers labels to make things clear. I'm pretty sure Reseda is the only male he's ever been with or wanted to be with--if the two of them were to break things off, he'd never start a relationship with any other man, because as I think he tells Reseda at some point, it's just not what he's interested in. He's apparently never had any longterm relationships, though he's been with women before. For all intents and purposes, he's straight. Just not when it comes to Reseda. Reseda is the one exception. Thing is, if they were to break things off, I don't think he'd start a relationship with any other women, either. Once he and Reseda grow close, he simply has no interest in anyone else, period.

So I'm not sure what exactly you'd call a situation like this, where somebody is arrow-straight until they meet just this one person they'd not only switch teams for, but quit the game entirely except for this one. Silver doesn't neatly fit any label I know of. There are lots of newer labels I'm unfamiliar with, though, so maybe he fits one of them.

Anyway...moving back to Reseda. I sadly don't know anything about his past before joining the Trench Rats, except that he's rather naive and idealistic. He's one of the newer, "second wave" of Rats who come over to replace those killed in the German attack on Headquarters, which eradicates about a quarter or a third of their number; many of the older/original Rats are either still dealing with the trauma or are outright hostile to the newcomers despite being on the same side, so the newer Rats have a lot of navigating to do to earn the others' respect. Silver is one of those holding a grudge, though he has extra reason to feel resentful: He was a member of the tiny exploratory unit that was trapped in enemy territory before the US even entered the war, whose members were absorbed into the newly formed Trench Rats First Battalion when they arrived to rescue them. He and Indigo were the unit members with the most time in and experience; therefore, they expected some sort of leadership positions in the battalion. These places were already taken by Sergeant Camo and Corporal Drake, however. While both Indigo and Silver were placed in charge of their own companies, and Indigo was additionally placated with a position in the medical unit, Silver never got over his grudge at being passed over for a more expansive leadership role. Result, he has an extra pissy attitude and often takes out his spite on his own company. He never does anything that crosses the line, but he's definitely earned a reputation as an a-hole, especially among his own men. It's a good thing he's skilled at what he does--sneaking into enemy territory to steal documents and kill Nazis by snapping their necks before vanishing unnoticed, a talent which earns him the nickname "Der Silbergeist" along with a top spot on the Reich's most wanted list--because most of his fellow Rats can hardly stand being around him for long. He's Aryan and comes from a higher-class background, so that combined with his already haughty and hostile demeanor makes him very difficult to get along with--and it's not like he makes any effort to be more approachable on his end, either. If anything, he's just fine antagonizing everyone else to keep them at arm's length.

This is the environment Reseda sets foot in when he joins the Trench Rats. He's assigned to Echo Company--under Silver's command--and quickly learns why Silver is both highly respected yet highly despised. Most of his fellow company members are easy to get along with, commiserating over their shared nasty treatment at Silver's hands, though Reseda does manage to cross somebody here and there. Citrine Rat is one such; jaded, cynical, and poor tempered, he picks up on Reseda's inexperience and idealism and targets him accordingly, making him the frequent butt of spiteful jokes. There's a "snitches get stitches" mentality in the trenches, so while most of Echo Company don't actively participate in Citrine's a-holery, they don't really push back against it, either. Reseda also quickly learns that when it comes to being targeted for pranks or outright attacks, he's pretty much on his own and just has to deal with it. One odd circumstance is that Silver, whenever he witnesses such things firsthand, is quick to punish such behavior--there's room for only one a-hole in his company, I guess, and that's him. This isn't terribly helpful for Reseda, though; every time Citrine gets caught and punished, he gets even more spiteful, and it isn't long before he outright hates Reseda's guts. His formerly mostly harmless pranks start taking a decidedly vicious turn; Reseda suffers more than a few scrapes and bumps dealing with him, even though he's physically bigger and stronger than Citrine is; he doesn't believe in turning on a fellow Trench Rat, and keeps hoping Citrine will lose interest in him, though as the days go by Citrine's hostility just seems to grow. Reseda can't even figure out WTF about him has pissed Citrine off so much; just typical inexplicable bully behavior, I guess.

One day events finally come to a head and in the middle of an argument, Citrine physically attacks Reseda; at first Reseda attempts to merely stave off his blows, but after a few minutes is forced to fight back. He's not as skilled a fighter as Citrine is, but like I said he's bigger, plus he has a lot of pent-up anger over all the weeks/months of poor treatment at Citrine's hands--it isn't long before he starts giving as good as he gets. Citrine is nearly overpowered for a moment, surprised by the normally mild Reseda's sudden burst of rage, but he too recovers quickly, and the fight is basically an even one. The two of them have pummeled each other black and blue by the time someone shoves them apart, yelling at the top of his lungs; Reseda tries to take a step forward to get at Citrine again, only to see that it's Silver who's pushed them apart. He looks even more pissed off than Citrine--and seeing as Citrine doesn't make any effort to get past him, Reseda decides he better not, either.

Silver: "WHAT THE F**K IS GOING ON HERE!" *glares first at Citrine, no response, then at Reseda* "SOMEBODY better answer! What is this!"

Reseda: *pause* "Personal disagreement."

Silver: *glares at him a moment, then back at Citrine*

Citrine: "Personal disagreement."

Silver: "That's how it is, then...?" *waits, no further response* "Fine. You two like blood and guts so much, report to the medical ward. Now!"

Reseda and Citrine head back to Headquarters. Both of them are confused--Reseda by his refusal to blame Citrine, Citrine by Reseda's refusal to blame him, both of them by Silver's choice of punishment. Nurse Lyndsey Skye is equally perplexed when they arrive--at first assuming they're there to receive medical attention themselves--until Reseda admits, "I think we were sent here to be punished," then she fetches the chief surgeon, Burgundy. Burgundy reacts the same way as Skye, who then says, "They believe they're here to be punished," at which point he gets an odd look and merely says, "Oh." Reseda and Citrine spend the rest of the day scrubbing and wiping up blood and other unpleasant substances spilled in the medical ward. They even witness Burgundy get to work on a badly wounded comrade who spurts blood all over the place (making Burgundy pause just briefly to take a breath), standing at the side of the room and staring silently until he's stabilized and taken away to a bed. As they start cleaning up the new mess, pale and shaken, Citrine mutters, "Better get used to it, kid. You'll be seeing a lot worse."

After their stint in the medical ward is over, they're directed to Charlie Company, led by Copper Rat--"Looks like I'm stuck with you two for a little while. At least TRY to behave yourselves...?"--and spend some time patrolling the trenches at the edge of the woods where HQ is located. Reseda is disgruntled when he sits down not far from Turquoise and Turquoise responds by getting up and moving some distance away before sitting down again. ("It's nothing personal, kid," Copper says when he notices Reseda's reaction, though all Reseda can think is why does everyone keep calling him "kid.") This goes pretty uneventfully until they're released back to Echo Company. Citrine pretty much leaves Reseda alone after that (weirdly, Reseda finds that he almost misses these interactions, he's become so used to them, and hasn't really connected with anyone else); Silver is another story. He apparently takes to watching Citrine and Reseda like a hawk; Citrine's been around long enough to know how to keep his head down (now that he's no longer targeting Reseda), yet Reseda's still pretty green. (Uh...heh...heheh. No pun intended, heh.) Result, EVERY little mistake he makes, Silver is right on top of it to give him a public tongue-lashing. This is so wearisome and humiliating that Reseda finds he preferred Citrine's attacks since at least those came from an equal; to keep getting lambasted by his company commander wears on him. It isn't long before he starts to carry a grudge against Silver and rather wishes something nasty would happen to him. Just to take him down a notch.

At the same time, though, he learns the ropes himself, learns how to better interact with his fellows to make himself useful, and witnesses Silver's own skills in action enough to at least respect him for that, if not for him as a decent person. He also gets a better look at what exactly Citrine meant with his warning. His company is on hand along with Charlie and Delta Companies one day when the Rats get wind of a small Nazi camp and set out to try to liberate it. Before they've reached the clearing where the camp is supposedly located, Reseda and several of the others notice Turquoise, walking toward the front, slow down and then crumple to the ground, clutching at the dirt and gasping for breath. Thinking he's having a heart attack, Reseda reaches for him but Copper pushes him back with a sharp shake of his head; he silently gestures at the others to have their guns ready for whatever they might find, before carefully hooking his elbow under Turquoise's and helping him to his feet. Turquoise halts again just outside the gate and Reseda hears him say, "There's nothing," before they head in.

They find that the Nazis evidently got word of a potential Allied approach ahead of time and acted accordingly. All of the prisoners have been killed, and what few guards remained behind committed suicide. Most, though, simply fled. The Rats silently peer at the scores of skeletal bodies left behind, alone and in piles; there's nobody left for them to rescue. Turquoise, who's managed to pull himself together, heads toward the main guard post and here they find a lone survivor--one of the SS guards--though he's badly wounded from a half-botched shot to the head, and obviously doesn't have long to live. Even Indigo and the other medics in Delta Company see no point in trying to save him, even if they wanted to. Reseda learns later on that this guard's dying emotions were what Turquoise had picked up on as they approached the camp. The Rats gather around him and stare as he bleeds out and pants weakly, blinking back up at them. "What was the point of this, mate?" Indigo asks; nobody really expects an answer, and the guard's breath rattles and then stops.

The Rats determine they can't handle the situation alone; they're going to need assistance dealing with the bodies. Copper leads a handful of them further into the woods until they come across a tree with an eye painted on it; a few armed partisans appear, and after a brief consultation the group continues. Reseda gets his first glimpse of Didrika's encampment. Didrika is the Roma leader and lone female of the sprawling group of mixed German and Soviet partisans; she comes out to speak with Copper, who seems to be on good terms with her, though Didrika's companion, a hulking Russian named Boris, makes Reseda nervous; he doesn't seem to like the Trench Rats at all. Didrika offers what men of hers aren't too superstitious to deal with the dead in the camp, and sends a runner to contact another network of partisans led by "Major" Champere (note, he seems to have originally been a sergeant major in my character list, though I lean toward him carrying the self-appointed rank of major) and ask for further assistance from him. Champere's men, while more reclusive, aren't nearly as squeamish as Didrika's, and a large group of them accompany the runner back to Didrika's camp and then they all head to the Nazi camp. They start the somber business of bundling up the bodies and helping to transport them to Trench Rats Headquarters for possible identification.

Silver, meanwhile, has the members of Echo Company go through the sparsely furnished buildings on the property, seeking any papers, records, or documentation the SS left behind. Reseda feels skeezy digging through the goods the Nazis took from their prisoners--spectacles, shoes, clothes, even teeth. When he gets to the small personal items such as pendants, rings, watches, he falters, especially when Silver tells them to hurry and finish up. On hearing that these things are to be left behind again, he feels a twinge of spite, and asks another Rat to help him gather the items in a sack; without Silver's knowledge he heads back outside the camp and seeks out Didrika. She crosses herself when he shows her what he found and says he'd like to make sure the items end up in the right hands, whether it's with surviving family or buried with the dead or what; she then calls one of Champere's men over. Didrika instructs the newcomer, Papillon, to help Reseda out. Papillon doesn't react the way Didrika did when looking over the sack's contents. Upon learning that Reseda is the one who rescued the items, he says, "This was very kind of you," and agrees to help return the items where they best belong.

Silver is too busy dealing with the documents left behind to notice Reseda's preoccupation elsewhere. Reseda gets some help from Mahogany, who manages most of the prisoner records; they and Papillon question some refugees in Trench Rat custody, managing to figure out how best to dispose of the items. Most are left to be placed with the dead, though a few items are returned to surviving family members. "Most people wouldn't go to this trouble," Papillon tells Reseda before they part ways.

Reseda: "I figured I'd get a bunch of questions why, to be honest."

Papillon: "No point asking why someone wishes to be kind. I figure you have your reasons."

Reseda: "What about you?"

Papillon: *pause* "There was someone I cared about. Once. Someone like those people."

Reseda: "What happened...?"

Papillon: *long pause* "I'm not sure what happened to him." *forces a smile & wave* "Adieu, and look after yourself, oui?"

Papillon spreads his wings and flies off (something that always catches the landbound Trench Rats off guard) before the words completely register in Reseda's brain. He's not entirely sure why, yet they stick with and niggle at him, how casually Papillon let something like that slip.

In the original version of events, some neglectful action of Reseda's helped lead to Silver getting captured by the Nazis. I was still going to go with this, but if I do I'm not sure how it pans out. In the current version, the primary catalyst behind Silver's capture, when he slips behind enemy lines as he has dozens of times before and gets inside Project Doomsday headquarters, is Teal Rat. Teal, one of Silver's former co-members of the original reconnaissance unit which was absorbed into the Trench Rats, was captured when Doomsday Rat was freed, and has been subjected to various kinds of torture and experimentation ever since, despite his status as a special prisoner. A complicated series of events leads to trouble for Silver on what should be a routine mission. The doctor in charge of the experiment, Kammler, has been pushing against the SS's restrictions on what treatment he can subject Teal to; just prior to Silver's arrival, he utilized an especially nasty punishment for the Trench Rat's resistance, granting a Nazi sergeant named Lange access to his cell. Lange is well known (and despised) for his brutal treatment of his unwilling male partners, and Teal is no exception. This is the event that finally breaks Teal, and he promises to do whatever Kammler wants. When Silver abruptly appears and runs into him, they're both stunned--the Rats had been just about certain Teal is dead by now, and Teal has been convinced by Kammler that they're never going to come for him. Indeed, Silver isn't there to rescue Teal, yet he promptly changes his plan, and starts trying to think of a way to get them both out of there--when Teal suddenly starts screaming, "Der Silbergeist! DER SILBERGEIST!!"

Silver commits his first actual mistake, hesitating briefly, he's so confused by Teal's behavior. He belatedly gets the idea to get TF out of there. Unfortunately, the nearby Nazi guards hear Teal's screaming and come running immediately--Silver, used to taking advantage of sneaking in secretly, has no such advantage anymore, and is quickly captured, Teal pointing at him and yelling the entire time. He's easily taken into custody, Kammler is called, and it's a very big development, somebody as highly wanted as Der Silbergeist finally being apprehended. As he's restrained and taken away, Silver hears Teal babbling to Kammler, "I got him, Der Silbergeist, I got him for you," like a child desperately seeking approval for a good deed, and Kammler actually coos at him that he indeed did well. Silver is brought to a strange medical room--there's a barred cell taking up one wall, a Jewish prisoner inside staring at what's going on--and restrained to a table. He refuses to answer any questions despite being cuffed, then punched, then beaten. Dr. Kammler then calls Sgt. Lange, and he and the others leave them alone. Things take an especially dreadful turn.

Some time later, Lange departs, fists bloody, fuming and believing Silver to be dead. In reality, he's merely unconscious; as soon as he awakes, he starts trying to free himself despite his immense pain. The Jewish prisoner, Jakob Wolfstein, tosses him a shiv he's been working on, and Silver cuts his restraints before working to get Wolfstein's cell open. With Wolfstein's help, since he can barely walk, Silver escapes, and the two manage to make their way into the countryside surrounding the city and disappear into the woods.

Almost before they've even gotten news of Silver's capture, the Rats learn of his escape, and that he's been taken in by Didrika's band of partisans. Plans are immediately made to go negotiate for his release, since Didrika rarely offers any kindnesses for free. Among those chosen to meet with the partisans are Burgundy Rat, Lyndsey Skye, and a handful of other Rats including Reseda. Reseda is absolutely agonized over this turn of events, partly because he blames himself. Even if none of his actions led directly to Silver's capture (need to work this part out), there are still the bad feelings he had about Silver, as well as the now-searing memory of a brief interaction he had previously with Didrika. She'd noticed, on the last interaction between her group and Echo Company, the vague hostile attitude between him and Silver, and half-jokingly warned him against using the evil eye so casually. When Reseda scoffed that there were no such things as curses, Didrika replied, "Careful, gadjo. Just because you don't believe in a curse doesn't mean it doesn't believe in you." Well, Reseda remembers his earlier vague, spiteful wishes for something to happen to take Silver down a peg...and now Didrika's warning takes on a lot more significance. He finds himself increasingly convinced that he's the reason Silver went through what he did, and the guilt is nearly overwhelming.

There's a bit of drama when the Rats reach the partisan encampment (Skye doesn't appreciate a joke Didrika makes at Burgundy's expense, and smacks her across the face), though as soon as Burgundy belatedly arrives they get down to business. Didrika reports that Silver is alive and in one piece, but in quite poor shape--she and the camp's doctor have been tending to him, and he needs a bit more rest before she'll let him go. Wolfstein, the only direct witness, is available to fill in more details that Didrika refuses to; the way she keeps the story vague unsettles Reseda and the others, so they can assume that something really awful must have happened. Reseda doesn't get to hear what Wolfstein tells Burgundy, though he does see how Wolfstein's eyes well up and he puts his hands over his face at one point. Burgundy haggles with Didrika and agrees to provide the partisans with penicillin and various medical supplies in exchange for Silver's release and some crates of oranges, then goes to check on him for himself. The others are invited to stay for supper, during which Didrika stops by Reseda's spot for a bit and chats with him. Getting the distinct impression she's sussing him out, he tries to keep his answers guarded, though it soon becomes clear she's picking up on a lot more than he's saying--including his guilt over Silver's fate. "You seem quite close, to care about him so much, gadjo," she says, which completely catches him off guard--"Close? I can't stand him!" Reseda blurts out, at which Didrika's mouth twitches and she says, "You have an odd way of showing it, then."

The Rats spend a couple of days in Didrika's camp--during which she appears to be flirting with Reseda at times, and he learns about the odd relationship she has with her men--before Silver decides he wants to return to Headquarters. He insists on walking out on his own, though the going is quite slow, with him limping along and having to stop often to catch his breath. Wolfstein appears and insists on walking alongside him, although he refrains from touching him. The other Rats are struck silent when they get their first look at him; his eyes are both black and still somewhat swollen, bruises litter his ribs and arms and legs, his wrists and ankles have ligature marks, and he shuffles in obvious pain. He speaks softly--not at all his usual snapping tone--though when both Didrika and Burgundy suggest he stay in the camp and rest a bit longer, a familiar bite enters his voice and he says he's going back to HQ. Even Burgundy, who far outranks him, knows better than to argue. The Trench Rats and Wolfstein depart back for Headquarters.

Silver is given a bed in the medical ward to recover in, and spends quite a bit of time heavily drugged and sleeping. Wolfstein submits to a physical exam; while in unusually good health (he'd been fed better while in Kammler's custody than he had while prisoner in a camp), he's still quite thin, and has obviously been subjected to experimentation and torture--Burgundy is especially livid to see the vivisection scars he bears. Echo Company is temporarily left without leadership and so "merges" with Copper's Charlie Company in the meantime. And Reseda finds himself left with a lot of thoughts. Thoughts primarily about Silver. The longer he thinks about him the more he starts to realize he seems to have feelings for him...and not the feelings he'd thought he had.

He finds himself worrying about Silver's welfare constantly, asking for updates on his recovery whenever someone has reason to return to HQ or the medical ward. He even ignores the looks he gets from Citrine and the others. He spends his days with his insides in knots, especially when furtive rumor starts to spread about exactly what it was that happened to Silver during his brief time in Nazi custody. Reseda isn't sure whether to believe the rumor or not; he tries to question Wolfstein about it when he gets the chance, but Wolfstein refuses to go into any detail about what he saw, saying instead, "All this is between Herr Silbergeist and Herr Doktor and Herr Gott, it's not for me to spread to the wind. If you care, just pray for him to get better soon, ja?"

Reseda knows at least two other people are in a position to know if the rumor is true: Didrika and the partisan camp doctor. When he gets the chance to speak with Didrika again, again he asks. She pauses before saying, "If you want truth, why don't you ask him yourself. I figure whatever he wants anyone to know, he'll tell." Reseda says, "I don't think that's the kind of thing he'd want to talk about," to which she replies, "You have your answer then, gadjo," and leaves. Reseda is startled when Boris halts beside him and leans down close to say quietly, "Best let some things go unknown, droog. Save yourself trouble. He want to say, he say. Otherwise, let go," and follows her. Reseda belatedly recalls the dark look that flitted across his face as he asked the question, but he can't think of why Boris would care at all. (See Lange's entry, HERE, for the most up-to-date version why Boris cares at all.)

Eventually, Silver returns to Echo Company and things return to normal...well...sort of. Everyone tries to act like everything is the way it was but they find themselves unintentionally walking on eggshells around him, and it's obvious this irritates Silver. He isn't quite as snappish as previously, however; much of the time he seems distracted or inattentive. The rest of the company responds by basically figuring things out on their own, having to deal with minimum input from him, though of course this isn't a feasible course of action in all circumstances, and they endure a few close scrapes due to Silver's lack of attention. Reseda steps up, keeping rather close to him while trying to not be obvious about it; whenever Silver's attention is needed he does vague little things to catch it again. It's a tedious, constant job always keeping an eye on him while trying to look like he's not, but it's all he can think of to keep Silver out of trouble; he still blames himself for his capture, and wants to make up for it. If Silver's attention wanders too much, he could end up losing his command--or getting someone killed.

Silver isn't completely stupid, though, and catches on to how Reseda always seems to be around now; he finally calls him out on it, getting fed up with his constant presence. Reseda's forced to explain his actions, and that includes mentioning his own guilt. Silver frowns, an odd combination of irritation and confusion, and says, "You didn't have anything to do with that." Then when Reseda admits to hoping something bad would happen to him, Silver's frown just grows and he says, "You don't make something happen by thinking about it. Now knock it off and quit harassing me."

Reseda backs off, but just enough to look like he's not fixating on Silver anymore; he still does what he can to cover for his negligence. Which, BTW, just seems to worsen. Silver's temper becomes erratic, and every once in a while he zones out or engages in irrational behavior that's nothing like his usual self. There's even an occasion when he almost gets shot and killed by a German sniper, Ratdog, yet Ratdog refrains from taking the easy shot at the last minute, and even prevents the young Wehrmacht private with him from following through instead; after a brief argument, Ratdog yells out something in German at the Rats, then the two depart. One of the Rats translates the message: "He said he won't take an unfair shot. He'll wait until you're better, and then he'll kill you." (This just peeves Silver, who insists he's fine.)

Reseda tries to find ways to distract or dissuade himself from his growing feelings; one of these attempts involves hiring a couple of prostitutes. (He doesn't go looking for them, though they manage to coax him into it.) He figures passing the night with a pair of beautiful and attentive women should jar him out of his thoughts, and it does help for a little while, until one of the women picks up a hint that he might be more into men; she makes a furtive joke to her companion and they laugh, at which Reseda, humiliated, slaps her. The women apologize, though Reseda is more dismayed by his own actions; he leaves them and decides never to try that again, since obviously it didn't work. They were right--his heart wasn't really in it, and he wasn't really into them. There isn't much point denying it now, although he does futilely attempt to shove down his feelings for Silver in particular. He figures Silver can hardly stand him as it is.

Back in Echo Company, one irrational behavior of Silver's that Reseda witnesses is him compulsively rubbing at and washing his wrists, where slight scars from the leather restraints are still slightly visible yet the bruises are gone; when he notices that Silver is starting to rub his wrists raw again, he asks him to stop, then orders him, then grabs his arm to make him stop. And gets punched in the face in return. He's too startled to be upset, just presses his hand to his eye at the pain; he blinks a few times and notices Silver staring at him with an expression he imagines is exactly like that he must've had after slapping the prostitute. Like he can't believe he did such a thing. Reseda takes a few breaths to steady himself before saying, "There's nothing there anymore. It's gone. The only thing still here is you."

Silver stares at him a moment more. Then, out of nowhere, kisses him, hard. Reseda blinks again and makes a noise, surprised and confused, yet after a few seconds relaxes. As abruptly as it started it's over and he's left standing there still blinking and gasping; Silver has a very odd look he can't describe, though he imagines he doesn't look much different. Then Silver turns and quickly walks away. Reseda returns to the company and everything resumes as before, as if nothing happened; he even finds himself wondering whether he dreamed it, though he knows he didn't. He's pretty sure how he feels by now, but Silver's reaction to his own actions mystifies him, and he has no idea what, if anything, to do about it; suddenly Boris's advice to just let things be seems prudent.

He does try again to distract himself, this time with an older German resistance sympathizer with whom the Rats come into contact, named Vischer. Like the prostitutes, he notices the hints Reseda tries so hard to keep secret, and offers him a temporary diversion. Reseda visits with him for a while, though it's obvious his mind is elsewhere, and Vischer finally broaches the subject, after Reseda unthinkingly calls him "Silbergeist." Reseda is of course mortified, but Vischer isn't upset; he knows he's not the one Reseda wants. "This just brings up the question, why are you here with me?" he says. "When it's plain you long to be with someone else." Reseda admits that he doesn't believe Silver would be interested.

Vischer: "You know this for sure?"

Reseda: "I've never asked him, but it's obvious."

Vischer: "How is it obvious?"

Reseda: "I mean...you know who I'm talking about, right?"

Vischer: "Everyone knows der Silbergeist. But how do you know what he thinks of you until you ask?"

Reseda: "Some people make it pretty damn clear."

Vischer: "And how exactly has he made it clear what he thinks of you?"

Reseda starts to answer, thinking of all the times Silver's berated and upbraided him in front of anyone else...and then he recalls their last, very confusing interaction. He'd actually mentally downplayed it and tried to forget, yet there it is, still stuck in his head. Vischer notes the look on his face and says, "I'll assume it's not so clear then after all, is it." He adds, "I won't tell you to stop coming by...but what it is you really want, really need, I don't believe you'll find it here. And you won't be happy until you do find it."

Reseda finally gets the hint; there are no distractions that will get him over his feelings for Silver. He refrains from directly dealing with the issue for a time, though one day when he spots Silver rubbing his wrists without noticing it brings the emotions back. When he says, "Sir...?" Silver mumbles, "It feels like they're still there." Reseda instantly understands--the physical wounds may be long gone, but the mental ones are still quite fresh. No wonder he keeps trying to wipe them off. Reseda hesitates a moment before crouching in front of Silver and gently but firmly grasping both of his wrists, covering up the scars. Silver instantly tenses up and looks at him, a hostile but weirdly glassy and detached glint in his eyes--he looks about ready to punch him again. "They're gone and you're here," Reseda says again; Silver blinks, and his eyes clear--like somebody waking from a dream. After another moment he kisses Reseda again and Reseda returns the gesture.

The next day Reseda is the one with all kinds of confused emotions. Company life goes on the same as always, so he keeps his thoughts to himself; he knows he's been an unfortunately open book in the past, so worries a little that this will again be an issue, but nobody seems to notice much or care. Only once, when his mind wanders, Citrine snaps, "Back to earth, kid," and he keeps better track of his thoughts. He does notice, on the other hand, that Silver doesn't seem as distracted himself as before, and he doesn't see him rubbing at his wrists so much or staring off into space. It's as if he needed something to jar him out of it. Reseda doesn't mind taking on some of his scattered thoughts in return, though he wonders what, if anything, this change will entail between them. When he finally (and awkwardly) gets the chance to ask, Silver tersely replies that he doesn't know, either. He's a lot better at hiding it, yet is just as perplexed as Reseda is.

Unlike Reseda, Silver's not really into examining his emotions; it makes him painfully uncomfortable. (I imagine having a profession in which you snap people's necks like you're opening a soda bottle can make one less prone to introspection.) He prefers to compartmentalize and keep things from getting messy. So Reseda's early insistence on them figuring out where they stand with each other wears on him, and he's rather short tempered at first. He does start trying to respond more rationally, but still has no answers; this is the first and only time something like this has happened for him, so he can't explain it. Reseda, too, forces himself to not be so pushy and just try to accept it. They're careful to keep things discreet (a few parties suspect something is up, yet never act on it), though they effectively become a couple throughout the series. (One thing I forgot to mention, Reseda learns that Silver actually hates being called Silbergeist--as that's what Lange kept calling him during his ordeal.)

Skipping ahead, as much of Silver's and Reseda's relationship isn't mapped out yet. This part, too, is still highly under development and so may change. Toward the end of the penultimate story arc, Silver goes missing and is presumed captured and killed by the Nazis--he was the one most wanted, after all. Reseda is devastated--he tries what he can to find out what became of Silver, yet at the same time, can't reveal WHY he's so invested in what became of him or why he cares so much. Gold, now sergeant of the Trench Rats, insists they're doing all they can to try to locate him, but adds not to expect miracles--the final days of the war are chaotic and messy and at one point, even the body of Indigo, the leader of Delta Company, goes missing. "You have to face that it might be that we never find him (Silver)," Gold says; when Reseda retorts, "No man left behind! Isn't that what we always say?" Gold looks wounded and replies, "We say it, and we mean it. But this is reality. It's different here."

Reseda lingers in Germany for a time and enlists LC Mahogany's help in questioning anyone who might have any knowledge of Silver's whereabouts. Former members of the Axis seem most in a position to know, although there are few who are willing to assist. Two who bother to speak with them are SS members Major Konstantin Klaus, the former commandant of the local labor/extermination camp, and Captain Otto Himmel, who once oversaw Dr. Kammler's work. (Kammler himself was killed by Teal.) Both had survived capture at the war's end (though Klaus was beaten and nearly killed by his own inmates) and stood trial for their crimes; Klaus was found guilty of more serious charges yet granted a deal for his cooperation so is serving a prison sentence, whereas Himmel was found guilty of a lesser charge, also cooperated, and was let go. Reseda and Mahogany visit the castle prison where Klaus is being kept; yet, "I can tell you Herr Silbergeist was never placed in my camp, Herr Reseda," Klaus informs him, "I'd remember if so." That leaves Himmel, who following his release returned to the farm where his son Kolten, formerly one of Kammler's test subjects, was previously sent to live; Reseda sets out to see him.

The trip there is a long one and along the way they meet an unexpected party: Ratdog, the same sniper who once relinquished his easy shot at Silver. Although he'd had several other chances, he never followed through on his vow to kill Silver. They pass not far from Ratdog's home while on their way and he comes out to confront them, rifle at the ready; Mahogany talks him down, as Ratdog doesn't speak English and Reseda doesn't speak German. He still seems vaguely hostile until Mahogany explains their reason for passing through; when Mahogany mentions "Herr Silbergeist" Ratdog looks directly at Reseda with an odd frown. Upon learning of Silver's disappearance his demeanor shifts; he offers to accompany them out of the woods along the way to the Albrecht farm where Himmel is. He says something to Mahogany before taking the lead; Mahogany murmurs to Reseda, "He says he's sorry to hear what happened. He always respected Silver and hoped they might meet and talk someday. As equals."

As they walk, Ratdog eventually falls back into step alongside Reseda; Reseda, preoccupied with his own thoughts, tries to ignore the way he peers at him sideways. After a while Ratdog speaks quietly in German; Reseda of course doesn't reply. A brief pause, then Ratdog says, "Du hast ihn geliebt?" "I don't speak German, sorry," Reseda says with mild annoyance; there's another, longer pause, Ratdog appearing to rack his brain, before he says in halting English, "You loved...?"

Reseda has to force himself not to shiver at the icy prickle that runs up his neck; he recognizes it now, the odd look Ratdog had been giving him--the same look the prostitutes, and Vischer, and Didrika once gave him. Somehow, he can tell. And he realizes he doesn't even have to ask how he knows--he'd noticed another look in Ratdog's eyes when they met. Grief. Reseda doesn't know the details, but he can tell Ratdog's lost someone, too. He doesn't respond to the question, but Ratdog appears to understand his reluctance; he says something else as he turns back to mind his own business, and they continue walking. He parts ways with them when they reach the edge of the field land upon which the Albrecht property is located.

At the Albrechts', they meet Himmel. Mahogany again explains the situation, though when Himmel replies he speaks accented yet flawless English. Like Ratdog, he's dismayed to learn of Silver's disappearance, though he has no answers to offer. "Many things and people went missing in those last days," he says, including lots of SS documents related to Project Doomsday, and his own employer, Major Jäger. He suspects this was deliberate, but that's all he knows. He starts to suggest, "Do you think it's at all possible Herr Silver went missing intentionally...?" but when Reseda quickly shoots this down, he just as quickly backs off. He promises to let them know if he hears of anything else, but there's nothing he can offer right now. As the Rats prepare to leave, he adds, "I'm sorry about your friend, Herr Mahogany, Herr Reseda. Herr Silver was...is...very brave and resourceful...if he's in any sort of trouble, I know he'll do all he can to get out of it."

Upon return to the new Trench Rat Headquarters--the previous Project Doomsday headquarters--Mahogany asks Reseda what, if anything, he'd like to try next. Reseda, demoralized, is out of ideas, plus, it's time for him to go home; he doesn't have any connections left holding him in Germany. Mahogany offers to get in touch with him if any other info comes to light, and Reseda finally heads back to the United States, dejected.

Reseda has no family (that I'm aware of); he takes a job, moves into an apartment, lives alone. The thought of moving on and finding someone else, even as a temporary diversion, doesn't cross his mind; he'd rather just be on his own. He's gotten used to his solitary life, and the hole in his heart, after a year or two has passed, when one evening a quiet knock comes at his door. He almost never gets visitors, so this jars him a bit; perplexed, he goes to unlock the door and peer out. For a few seconds all he can do is stare, dumbfounded, at the face staring back--he can't believe it's Silver, yet it is--older, gaunt, yet the same Silver he last saw so long ago. He seems just as surprised to see Reseda although he knocked on his door. After a confused moment Reseda opens his door wider and steps aside; Silver silently enters and he closes the door again.

Silver sits on the sofa and doesn't talk as Reseda fetches something to eat and drink, unsure what else to do; his thoughts are racing now and he has to force himself to not bombard the other Rat with questions as he brings him a plate and mug. Silver shows no interest in the food but does sip his drink when Reseda urges him to, then grasping it in his hands and staring into space a moment or so. "What happened...?" Reseda at last prompts him, unable to hold it in any longer; Silver looks at him glassy eyed yet says nothing, so Reseda adds, "Where did you go?" Silver just stares at him another moment, then they both gasp and jerk back--the mug has shattered in his hands, liquid spattering them both, shards flying. He'd been gripping it so tight it broke. He blinks at the sight of blood on his hands; Reseda hurries to fetch a towel, sitting down beside him and carefully pulling a few slivers of ceramic free before wrapping up his hands. Silver blinks a few more times, takes and lets out a breath, and relaxes as if finally pulled back down to earth.

Hesitating here and there, he starts to explain, though it's obvious his thoughts are muddled. He's only just returned from Germany. It's too soon for word to have reached Reseda yet about all that recently happened; Silver lays it out the best he can. He heard rumor in the final days of the war, during one of his solo excursions, that the SS was making plans to abandon project headquarters yet not Project Doomsday itself--they had a contingency plan to keep the experiment going from a new location, somewhere far to the south in the Alps. The destruction of Project Doomsday has long been the Trench Rats' primary goal; for it to continue even after the then-impending fall of the Third Reich is unthinkable. Silver had no reasonable time to notify the rest of the battalion, knowing they would need to make detailed plans of attack that would take far too long to enact; taking a calculated risk, he did the only thing he could think of, and let himself be captured.

Reseda: *sharply* "What--?" *Silver flinches, Reseda takes a breath & lowers his voice* "How could you do that--? After what--after what already happened? They could've killed you."

Silver: "They never wanted me dead."

Reseda: "Still. That wouldn't have stopped them from doing anything else."

Silver: "Kammler and that a**hole were dead. Also they weren't the SS."

Reseda: "What are you talking about?"

Silver: "We read the files. The SS didn't sanction any of that. They weren't even interested in me. The only thing they were interested in was Projekt Weltuntergang--Project Doomsday. Everything else Kammler did, he did on his own."

Reseda: "I don't understand what you were thinking."

Silver: "The only use I had to them was for intel or for experimenting. And by then they didn't need any more intel."

Reseda is stunned to find out that Silver basically offered himself up to be part of the believed-defunct Project Doomsday, which had in fact been resurrected at the last minute as Project Ultima Thule. Silver outlines how after his capture by the fleeing SS forces, he was transported south, into the mountains, where he was brought before an officer he took to be in charge of the whole thing. Calling himself Ludolf Jäger, he was oddly courteous to Silver, appearing to see through his plan to allow himself to be captured this time: "The last time was an unfortunate fluke; I find it strains credulity that you'd unwittingly be caught a second time. In other words, Herr Silbergeist, you're not that stupid." He explained that Silver could either consent to become a test subject, or have it forced on him; "Not much of a choice," Silver said, though the reaction he got from Jäger was unexpected.

Jäger: *smiles* "It's not quite the punishment you think. In fact it's no longer a punishment at all. Things have changed since you were last with us. We've put a lot of work into this, into perfecting it, and we're very close. This isn't the old serum you've heard of."

Silver: "I've heard of the side effects, is what I've heard of. And the numerous failures."

Jäger: "That was then, Herr Silbergeist, this is now! I promise you, things have changed. It's like alchemy, you know alchemy? Refining a base substance into gold. This has always been the goal, to take the Untermensch and refine him into an Übermensch."

Silver: "I know full well what you people do to an Untermensch and it sure doesn't involve 'refining' anything!"

Jäger: "It's as I told you, Herr Silbergeist, things have changed. That was the Third Reich which has fallen. The Fourth Reich arises in its ashes like the phoenix! Glorious and new like the dawn! It's true my views are different from the base views of my former comrades. That's why I'm here now, and they're not! Darwin was right! Just not in the way everyone else thought. You can only winnow out so much chaff! What if chaff is all there is? You're left with nothing! The others had it all wrong with their gas chambers and their firing squads. I'm rational enough to admit I'm not perfect, Herr Silbergeist. Herr Gott or whatever divine power created us created none of us perfect. This is where they got it wrong. No one is born an Übermensch. There is no Herrenvolk. Not yet! It needs a hand in coming to fruition, in evolving. It needs refining! Not throwing the lead away, but turning it into gold! So much waste and destruction the Third Reich stood for, yet this time around it'll be different. No more Weltuntergang. A new world! A better world. Perfection needed a hand in achieving, and Ultima Thule is it. The TRUE Final Solution! The Magnum Opus!"

Reseda listens to all this with a blank look. "What the f**k," he says simply when Silver falls silent, to which Silver replies, "Exactly. He was a batsh*t lunatic."

Jäger explained that the experimental serum had finally, successfully been tweaked enough--in a lab other than the one run by Kammler, where Himmel had constantly sabotaged the project--and so its effect on subjects was different now. Whereas previously it had often been excruciatingly painful, especially on those for whom it was unsuccessful--which was almost everyone, considering it was effective on only one very rare blood type mutation--now it could be administered with minimal difficulty, and had proven to be beneficial to everyone who took it so far, although to differing extents. "It still needs a bit more perfecting before we have our Philosopher's Stone," Jäger had said, "but with every subject, we get a little closer to achieving godhood." He urged Silver to take the serum willingly--"It won't hurt, Herr Silbergeist, nothing but the prick of the needle, and I know you can handle that." When Silver asked him how he could possibly know this, Jäger beamed and replied, "Simple, Herr Silbergeist, you're seeing the results. I've already taken the serum myself."

It's true--not just Jäger, but the other remaining SS members who fled to the Alpine Fortress with him, took the Doomsday serum and now not only had varying increases in strength and stamina, but were essentially immortal--almost nothing could kill them. Jäger proved this after a fashion by taking his Ehrendolch and slitting into the side of his neck--Silver couldn't help letting out a distressed sound as blood from the severed jugular and carotid started spitting and pouring down his uniform. Other than a brief moment to take a shaky breath and apparently get used to the shock, though, Jäger seemed unaffected, even continuing to talk: "See, Herr Silbergeist...? Anyone else would be dead within moments. You'll see it isn't so with us, and it can be the same for you. Imagine...being one large step that much closer to godhood. As strong as an oak, as strong as Donar, able to withstand all pain and adversity. This can be you." He then took his hand away from the pulsing wound and to Silver's astonishment, the cut in the skin had largely closed already and the blood flow was diminishing. "What do you say, Herr Silbergeist...?" Jäger asked. "Join us on your knees, or standing on your feet...?"

Silver says he took the only real choice available--willingly subjecting himself to the serum. After all, he'd let himself be caught; of course it wouldn't be easy. Surprisingly, just as Jäger said, the first infusion didn't hurt aside from placing the IV; afterward Jäger informed him that it would take more infusions, and some time, to notice the full effects, but he should start to experience some soon. He invited Silver to dinner with him to discuss future plans and further explain what he was to expect in his role in "this wondrous new Reich." Part of this involved him outlining the purpose and preparedness of the Alpine Fortress, starting to refer to Silver as "Kamerad" (marking him as an equal), and fitting him for a strange new version of the traditional Allgemeine-SS uniform, except white rather than black. It wasn't long before Silver was convinced none of this was an act--Jäger genuinely believed in his plan, and fully intended to implement it or die trying. He was a bona fide fanatic.

Silver originally intended to try to kill Jäger, and with hope the budding new Reich would die with him, but this idea was promptly scuttled when Jäger introduced him to some other residents of the Alpine Fortress: His wife, Magdalena, and their nine young children: the eldest, Leopoldine (actually Jäger's adopted daughter, her father being another SS officer Magda had a brief relationship with before moving into the Lebensborn home where Jäger met her), Lisbeth, Liesl, twins Lars and Lara, Lothar, twins Lilli and Lotti, and the youngest, Liane. As Magda warmly welcomed Silver he noticed she was pregnant--"Our tenth, yet just as loved as our first," she said, blushing, "I'm going to have to think of a name soon!" The thought of killing an entire family, all of whom but one were innocent, turned his stomach, and he decided he'd need to take some further time to become familiar with the Fortress and try to figure out another plan of attack. (During this time, he started noticing the effects of the serum kicking in, including increased strength and lack of sensitivity to pain--effects he displayed when he broke Reseda's mug by merely holding it.)

Silver outlines events as he witnessed them in the Ultima Thule story arc, which takes place shortly before his return to Reseda. (Let me slip back into present tense here.) He opts to remain in a largely background role, ostensibly to observe for Jäger, in reality to work on his own plot to bring down Jäger's Fourth Reich. Jäger lets him, and Silver watches events play out. This includes the "resurrection" of Silver's former comrade Indigo, whose body was retrieved from the trench where shrapnel felled him in the war's chaotic final days; Jäger explains the serum has this miraculous ability as well, to restore life--of a sort--to those who have recently died and been preserved, so long as their brain is intact. Silver takes note of this latter detail as a potential weakness as he observes the process. Unlike with those who are alive at the time of administration, subjects like Indigo react more like zombies, unspeaking and mindlessly following orders. Silver also notices the hazy bluish tint all serum subjects get to their eyes, himself included.

When a small party of intruders arrives--composed of an uneasy alliance of Allies and former Axis members, including several Trench Rats, Wolfstein, Ratdog, and Himmel and his son Kolten--Jäger sets his forces in motion to protect the Alpine Fortress. Turns out that Himmel's theory regarding Silver's disappearance, and Jäger's hand in things, wasn't so far off the mark; Jäger confiscated what Project Doomsday documentation he could get hold of and made off with it, his family, and the remaining SS officers to restart the project from the safety of the Fortress. He attempts to recruit Himmel once he meets his trusted old secretary again--the only reason he hadn't let him in on the plot previously being Himmel's capture by Allied forces--yet Himmel, who never truly believed in SS principles and joined only to protect his son, is appalled by this turn of events--he'd long suspected Jäger was a zealot, just not how much of one. He refuses to join, instead trying to appeal to Jäger about the insanity of his plan. Jäger's just as steadfast in his beliefs, though, and regretfully informs Himmel and Ratdog that they're his enemies now, so the next time they meet, it'll be anything goes. He proves this by unleashing Indigo on them, and the Trench Rats are stunned and confused to come face to face again with their friend whom they'd thought was dead.

Silver remains hidden and unknown to the Allies throughout most of this, though he does engage in whatever acts of sabotage he can manage, including killing off at least one of the SS guards who attack the others; upon seeing the guard's snapped neck--Silver's preferred method--the Rats are even more perplexed and uneasy, but it isn't until much later that he reveals himself to them, or rather Jäger reveals him as his own secret weapon. This is another stunning blow to the Rats, until Silver defects from Jäger's side after causing as much damage as he can, including revealing to the others several locations of explosives stored within the Fortress; the Allies spend the story attempting to wire these for detonation in hopes of destroying the project once and for all. Jäger and his remaining guards prove quite formidable--especially now that Jäger is infuriated and willing to do absolutely anything to achieve his vision--yet the Allies very gradually gain the advantage, even managing to subdue Indigo long enough to administer an antiserum that counters the worst effects of his condition, effectively bringing him out of his zombielike state while keeping his increased strength and pain resistance intact. Silver also informs them that damaging/destroying the brain is the only way to permanently incapacitate the enemy, which helps them pick off Jäger's guards. Details of this part of the plot are still hazy, but in a final confrontation Jäger ends up buried and presumably killed by ice and rubble, and the Allies start to head out, determined to escape the Fortress before the explosives go off.

On their way out, they encounter an awful scene that only proves the depths of Jäger's fanaticism. Ratdog and a Soviet ally (so far unnamed), walking point, crest a rise and spot something on the other side that makes them recoil; Ratdog quickly warns the others they may want to find another way out. He says they won't want to see what's on the other side, and when a few of the others draw closer anyway, he urges Himmel, especially, not to go any further. Himmel ignores the warning and climbs to the top of the slope, peering over; he promptly stifles a cry and stares for a moment before slowly making his way down into the cavern ahead. The others follow. Within is a row of bodies, arranged from oldest to youngest: Magda Jäger and the nine Jäger children. The children, the youngest of them not even a toddler yet, have cloths draped over their upper bodies to hide them from view, yet Magda is uncovered; her death was obviously caused by a gunshot to the head, and there are still tears on her face. It soon becomes clear, based on evidence at the scene, that she, likely with Leopoldine's help, drugged each of the children, laid them out, and after they fell asleep, Leopoldine included, shot each of them one by one, covering them up afterward; as the last to go, there was no one left to cover her. From the looks of it, Magda was crying throughout the entire gruesome process, yet went through with it anyway. It's revealed that Jäger had long ago successfully recruited Magda into his worldview and although she never outwardly displayed the signs (even Himmel never had any idea), she was as much a fanatic devoted to the cause as he was; the two had a murder/suicide pact in place in case of Jäger's untimely death and the failure of the project, and this included annihilating their entire family. Ever the devoted wife, Magda hadn't let Jäger down.

Himmel, who had always wanted a large family and had been especially close to the Jäger children, is hit hardest by this development; "Why? What was the point?" he laments, "I would have taken them in." "I think that was the point," Ratdog replies, and they reluctantly leave the bodies behind, unable to bring them along in time to escape the Fortress. The Alps become the Jägers' tomb as the Allies flee back to safety and the explosives go off, at last ending Project Ultima Thule for good.

Reseda listens to Silver finish his tale before falling silent. "I know I shouldn't have just left everyone not knowing," Silver says quietly, when Reseda cuts in.

Reseda: "Yet you'd do it again. In a heartbeat."

Silver: *pause* "I would."

Reseda: "Because there was nobody else to do it."

Silver: "There wasn't."

Reseda: "That's always been your reason for acting. Because nobody else would do it."

Silver: *long pause* "It's not the only reason I do anything."

Reseda: "But it is the main one. You can't deny it."

Silver: "I never tried to. You can't say you didn't know that."

Reseda: "And I'm not."

Silver: "If this is something that bothers you, you should've said so a long time ago, and saved us both the trouble."

Reseda: *long pause* "So while you're here lecturing me on what I should know about you, it turns out you don't know me at all."

Silver: *frowns & looks at him*

Reseda: "I figured out why you do what you do a long time ago. If I'd had a problem with it, I would've moved on. I didn't. I stayed because I understood. And you're saying you didn't know that...?"

Silver: *long silence* "No...I didn't know. I never understood why you did anything you did."

Reseda: "I suppose it kills you, admitting that."

Silver stares at Reseda for a moment or so more, before his eyes go glassy and he swallows and looks away. He absently rubs at his wrist. Reseda hesitates a few seconds before moving to sit beside him; he grasps Silver's hand and Silver reflexively grasps his back. Silver takes in and lets out a breath, eyes still wet but clearing. When he turns his head back, Reseda presses their foreheads together. "You're still here," he murmurs, "and that's why I'm here," and Silver closes his eyes.

[Reseda Rat 2023 [‎Friday, ‎May ‎26, ‎2023, ‏‎3:00:13 AM]]

#artists on tumblr #ibisPaint x #SketchDaily #original characters

0 notes

astroismypassion · 2 years ago

Text

Astrology observations 🍹🍹🍹

Credit goes to @astroismypassion

🍹 Aries Moon women usually have eyes that exude sexuality and sex appeal, which makes them very sexually desirable. They usually have this unique, one-in-a-million look that hardly resembles anyone, when you look at them it’s just so…THEM. They often have very baby like face too or at least very youthful looking. Like Aries Moon women: Angelina Jolie, Selena Gomez, Cardi B, Emily Ratajkowski, Kendall Jenner, Diane Von Furstenberg etc.

🍹 But I wouldn’t really say that Aries Moon women, much like Scorpio Moon women, really excude sexual appeal and sexual energy outwardly even if for example they pose in photos in such manner. Usually their sexual appeal is the most exuding when they are being passionate about something or IN ACTION, during physical movement. Like Angelina Jolie’s fighting scenes as Lara Croft in Tomb Raider. When they are still and just posing on photos, this is not as present, it’s like their sex appeal is hidden then (Scorpio Moon especially, like Kylie Jenner). So when you see and interact with them you might even think they are very innocent, since you won’t really FEEL their sexual appeal being present. Usually these women are also quite shy in private, since they were not raised in a family environment where sexuality would be particularly portrayed or even discussed. So they step confidently into sexual power much later in life. Though, this does not mean they weren’t curious in their mind about it during younger years.

🍹 If you need to make a decision or you feel like you can’t really think straight, yet you want to and you’re a Capricorn Mercury: go into a small or narrow place, room, you think better in confined places. Like I know it’s sound ridiculous, but maybe step into a closet or somewhere where there is not big space. Cancer Mercury? Go in the bathroom, sit there and really think deeply about it. Taurus Mercury? Basically you can’t think straight, if you have an empty stomach. Or go in a coffeeshop with beautiful surroundings and order tea and a croissant and your thinking process will start flowing.

🍹 I mentioned previously about Aries Moon women could be prone going back to their ex partner (when they still have feelings). But I think I have to touch on more WHY this happens. It is because they can leave too early at times. They can be really reactive without getting the full story and just leave, because they dislike any sign of unfairness towards them, they are really protective of themselves. So they might go too quickly without knowing everything. So later they come back when provided with more context, information.

🍹 Virgo Lilith might have troubles losing weight if they decide to. It’s like as soon as they decide and announce they are eating differently, there goes someone offering them something that would sabotage that. It’s like when you decide to eat differently to a majority, people start sabotaging you or attacking you, so that you have to also justify your way of eating. It’s quite frustrating, especially because you are already really health-conscious and spend a lot of time trying to improve your health.

🍹 Chiron in retrograde: you will constantly experience resurfacing things throughout your life. Libra Chiron? Your past lovers, relationship will often come back into your life and it will be on you to decide whether you (and them) have healed enough to revisit that relationship. Aquarius Chiron: your old elementary, high school friends will come back again and again.

🍹Vesta is so powerful! You might have an eternal flame for the Sun sign person in the same sign of your Vesta. For example Pisces Vesta in the 4th house: Pisces and Cancer Sun people will be those you might be devoted to even years after the connection ends.

🍹 Pluto in the 3rd house synastry for a romantic relationship: Pluto person will be very blunt and (too) honest with their opinions and thoughts with 3rd house person. 3rd person might cook a delicious meal for Pluto person. But Pluto person might make a back-handed comment:”It’s tasty, but “too healthy”, I couldn’t possibly eat this every day”. Or when they listen to a song that 3rd house person like, Pluto person might comment “turns this off, it’s hurting my ears”. They can be really condescending or mean, but in a subtle way.

🍹 You will often feel like the listener when you are in a Moon in the 10th house synastry. The Moon person will be the one expressing all their emotions and venting and the 10th house person will often need to just listen to them and push their own feelings aside. Because they own feelings might not seem as volatile and intense as those of the Moon person. The Moon person can also be the one to feel like they have it worse than you on emotional level at least. 🤷🏼‍♀️

🍹Taurus Moons have such balanced emotion, that those around them try to provoke them and get a reaction out of them. But they are too lazy to even react. 😂

🍹Some Gemini Moon men can be really old-fashioned and traditional. They would give their wife a paycheck every month for her to pay the bills, buy food and things for household, but would demand acts of service in exchange, like a cooked meal after they come home. When I tried to get deeper perspective on it, they backed their mentality by stating that needs come before wishes. And they give money every month so that she buys necessary things and doesn’t feel the lack of not getting, for example new jewellery. 🤷🏼‍♀️

🍹Composite Mars in the 7th house: especially if this goes for a romantic partnership, you guys will learn how to actually compromise in order to build a sustainable long-term connection. You two are probably really busy, individualistic people who are quite fulfilled on your own. There might be a lot of mirroring, like if you start calling them by a nickname, they will too. If you first give them a hug, they will return this to you and starting giving hugs as well.

🍹If you have Lilith in someone’s 2nd house, they will absolutely dislike you paying for their meals, giving them money.

🍹Composite Leo Mars: Your lesson together will be to become more confident, learn how to take and enjoy leisure time, how to showcase your skills, abilities, how to incorporate romantic gestures in your connection etc.

🍹I just noticed that how there are two different varieties of Cancer Sun people. Cancer Sun with Cancer Venus likes burgers, fries and fried chicken and more street food. And Cancer Suns with Gemini Venus would more often dislike fast food, street food altogether. They don’t even see fast food as “real” food. 😂 For them it only makes sense to eat “regular meals” at regular restaurant.

Credit goes to @astroismypassion

875 notes · View notes

iwadori · 4 years ago

Note

are you going to do a 'when the haikyuu boys make you insecure' part with Iwaizumi / could I request that?

When they make you insecure part 6 (Iwaizumi,Matsukawa)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Word Count: 2.8K

Genre: Angst, Fluff

masterlist

AN: Did I embedd myself in this story? Yes, yes i did. :3 (it’s only a small part dw loool)

Iwaizumi

One day when you were walking to the gym to go see your boyfriend

You overhear him and the team talking about some instagram girl

“She’s hot” you hear Boktuo yell doing a hoot as he fawns over a picture, with the rest of the guys agreeing.

“What do you think Iwaizumi?” Hinata ask

“She’s cute... I guess?” the rest of the guys, grunt in disagreement at Iwa’s lack of drooling over the girl.

“Well I see why you wouldn’t want her Haji-kun,” says Atsumu “you are into the more simple girls bro”

“Simple?” Iwaizumi questions, and the rest of the guys agree

“Yeah simple, you know Y/N... she’s simple” says one of the guys, with the word ‘simple’ rolling off their tounge with a tone of disgust.

“I guess your right guys...” Iwaizumi says “Y/N is pretty basic and simple but-”

You leave the gym before you hear what the rest of them had to say. When you got to your house you bolt straight to the mirror, you look at your outfit and frown. You never thought your style was ‘basic,’ to be fair you wouldn’t describe anybodys style as basic or simple. Of course, you weren’t like those instagram influencers, that wasn’t your thing. But Iwa has known that about you for years... but I guess that’s not what he truly likes.

You go to your closet and take out all the contents, just tossing all your clothes (even some of your favourite items ever) and dashing them in a black trash bag putting them to the side. You were already on a mission to buy a whole new wardrobe, going through all different stores and looking on pinterest for inspo.

You didn’t really talk to Iwa for the rest of the week, since you wanted him to see you in your ‘new form,’ you weren’t being radiosilent but you didn’t initiate any hang outs with him or face time calls (which he did find slightly odd, but didn’t think that much by it.)

Finally, the clothes came and you were kind of shocked at how much you ordered you spent over £200 on clothes from all different places. When you were trying them on, you liked some of them the ones that were kind of similar to your past style but not so ‘simple,’ the others you kind of frowned at since it definitely didn’t feel like ‘you’ at all. ‘This is for Iwa,’ you reminded yourself as your forced a smile on your face analysing yourself in the mirror.

You had everything sorted, your wardrobe was now changed and done the colours and styles you once wore before is now the complete opposite. You invited Iwa over, hesistantly waiting to see how would he react.

When you hear your door knock, you rush over to open it and model a pose you saw one of those girl do trying to look as natural as possible.

“Hey babe ho-” he says, with his eyes widening seeing your new look “Woah Y/N!”

“Hey Haji..come in!” you exclaim with a beaming smile pulling him inside to the couch. “So, are we going to continue watching the crown, I watched the previous episode and god prince phillip is such a dick.”

You look over your shoulder and see Iwa still standing in your entranceway a bit awkwardly, looking a bit stunned. “Come sit down then, we��ve got an episode to watch.”

“uh oh yeah, sure” he says blinking, following you to the couch.

You got through atleast 4 episodes together, you barely talked as you were really engrossed in the show. Iwa was barely paying attention, he was too busy questioning how you were acting. This definitely wasn’t the girl he knew, even the way you were acting whilst watch the show was odd. The way you’d cutely giggle and ‘sublty’ look over to him whilst laughing at a funny part of the show instead of just doing your usual obnoxious laugh that he loved to hear.

“Oh Y/N, I’m going to go to the bathroom.” he says standing up, you don’t reply you just wave your hand in acknowledgement.

On his way to the bathroom, Iwa nearly trips on a black bag left outside your bedroom door. He opens it, and mildly gasped when he saw all your old stuff jumbled up in there. He picks up the back and goes straight back to the living room and stands in front of you.

“Haji, what are you doing you’re blocking the TV” you complaining trying to see what’s happening behind him.

He drops the black bag infront of you and you internally curse yourself for not moving. You stare at him waiting for him to say something.

“Well whats this then.” he says looking down at you, almost like a disapproving dad.

“Clothes.” you say smartly, knowing what he was asking.

“You know what I meant Y/N, why are all your clothes in a garbage bag.”

“Because I wanted to put them there,” you wanted to seem as nochalant about it as possible as if putting all your clothes in a garbage bag doesn’t make you feel sad.

“Yeah but why?” he says sitting down next to you.

“Just because I wanted to” you reiterate “what else do you want me to say?”

“Well this isn’t like you, its just a bit random Y/N” he says

“I know this isnt like me you” you spat, standing up “Isn’t this what you wanted anyways.” You head to your bedroom picking up the bag with you, with Iwa hot on your heels.

“What do you mean this is what I wanted?” he says in disbelief “When did I ever say that?”

“It doesn’t matter” you mumble, you start to aggressively take our your old clothes and shove them back into your wardrobe whilst Iwa is just talking. You’re not really listening to him your just putting the clothes back.

“Y/N Stop!” he yells kind of knocking you out of your ‘trance,’ “what is going on with you?” he grabs you hands and pulls them down stopping you from what you were doing and he winced at seeing your tear stricken face.

He gently pulls you into his arms sitting you both on your bed, waiting for you to speak. “I don’t know what you want from me Iwa..” you start your voice slightly breaking “it’s just I did this all for you and you don’t even appreciate it.”

“I don’t know what you mean Y/N?” he says sounding genuinely confused.

“Y/N is simple and basic.” you say repeating words that you heard your boyfriend say about you, you feel him tense as you say it and you slowly get out of his hug.

“Y/N I-”

“That really hurt Hajime, I know now that I'm not your ‘type’ but I-”

“No Y/N, you are my type of course you are!” he says gulping in nervousness “I love you, and your style. I’ve always being enamored by how you dress and present yourself and I don’t know why I even said you’re basic and simple I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Really?” you say sniffling looking down

“Yes really you idiot,” he says lifting your head up “To be fair I don’t care what you wear, since you look great in anthing I just want you to be happy Y/N and especially not dress for anyone including me. Okay?”

“Okay,” you agree slightly nodding your head.

“Good, so can we go and finish the crown and then burn all these clothes?” Iwa jokes as he stands up.

“Burn them!” you exclaim “These cost £200, you muppet.”

“£200! Gosh Y/N, next time you go shopping im definitely coming with you.” he says shaking his head “can’t have you blowing out your bank account for clothes you don’t even like that much.”

You spend the rest of the day finishing of The Crown and you and Iwa eventually both sort out your wardrobe. Your style and aethetic changes a lot more through the times you were together and Iwa was very supportive and helpful of every single change. Especially *insert your favourite dress aesthetic here.*

Matsukawa

You were walking with your friends; Iwa, Tooru, Maki and your boyfriend Matsun. Walking to school as you did every morning, today the topic of conversation was Tooru’s bad taste in women.

“Gosh yesterday was horrible, she didn’t want to talk to me at all,” he complained “all she wanted to do was to come straight to my place, I didn’t even have the chance to tell her my hair routine.”

“That’s why you don’t find dates off of Tinder shittykawa” grunted Iwaizumi

“Well I know that now!” he exclaimed.

“Y/N,” said Makki grasping your attention “Would you ever use Tinder?”

“Well I-”

“Of course she wouldn’t” your boyfriend interrupted wrapping his arm round your shoulder “she’s got me”

“Yeah, but if you two weren’t together, would you use it.”

“Well may-”

“Y/N definitely wouldn’t” he said interrupting you AGAIN “she’s way to frigid for that shit”

Frigid? You thought to yourself, ouch. Their was a quick awkward silence and all you could hear was Matsukawa laughing with the others laughing after awkwardly in pursuit. After sensing your uncomfortability (is that a word?) Oikawa decides to change the subject to make things less awkward,

“I need a woman who understands me!” he rants “One that can listen to me and appreciate my awesome hair.”

“Goodluck with that Shittykawa.”

Oikawa rambles on as you walk to school with the other guys chiming in. You on the other hand, were lost in thought. Your sex life wasn’t something you would want to publicly talk about let alone to you and your boyfriends' male friends. Also, with Matsun describing you as ‘frigid’ struck a nerve. You weren’t frigid, well at least to you, you weren’t.

When you got to school you immediately rushed straight to your lesson claiming that you teacher really needed to talk to you. Which was odd to Matsukawa as you usually all hung around each other until the bell rang, the other boys gave each other knowing looks all assuming the reasons for your odd behaviour.

At lunch time, you stayed in your class instead of going up to the roof where you and your friends usually end up. In the class room you hear one of the girls in your class, Empress having one of her usual gossip conversations with her group of friends.

“Hajime is so hot!” she said, fanning her face being dramatic

“Of course he is! You should totally go for him.” her friend said and the rest of the friends agreed.

“What do you think Y/N?” she says to you catching your attention “you’re close friends with him right?”

“Yeah, I am” you say a bit sadly “You should definitely go for him, I think you’d be perfect together.”

“Okay! I think I might later” she says smiling. Her and friends leave, but then Empress returns and walks straight to you.

“Are you alright doll?” she asks softly smiling

“I guess so..” you say hesitantly “It’s just something my boyfriend said to me this morning.”

“Matsun?” she asks and you nod in reply “What did he say?”

After you rehash the situation from this morning Empress scowls in annoyance, “Boys can be such pigs sometimes, such a dick thing to say.”

“I know right!” you respond “Even if I was frigid, which im totally not it’s not even a bad thing nor is it something to reveal to people in public in a ‘jokey’ way.”

“Yeah!” she agrees “I think you should go and give him a piece of your mind.”

“I mean...” your voice falters, when it comes to Matsun you’ve never really given him a ‘piece of your mind,’ even when he makes jokes that you’re not so fond of.

“Come on!” she encourages “I’ll come with you and cheer you on.”

“You just want to come to see Iwa Empress” you say pointedly “But fine let’s go.”

You both power walk to the roof where you see the four seijoh boys sitting down and eating. “Oh hi Y/N/-chan and look Iwa its Emp-chan... isn’t that a surprise!” Iwa blushes and the rest of the guys laugh.

You walk straight up to Matsun and stand right infront of him. “Matsukawa I need to talk to you,” you say folding your arms. “Why whats up babe?” he says, still sitting down with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Alone.” you say turning around walking to a secluded spot. Behind you, you hear Matsun get up and the rest of the boys saying “oooh Matsukawa your in trouble” as they laugh.

“What’s wrong with you today Y/N?” he asks slightly accusatorily.

“I didn’t appreciate the comment you made today on the way to school,” you say with your arms folded.

“Oh that little comment about you being frigid, come on it was just a joke I wasn’t being serious.” he says lightly laughing but he stops once he sees the glare you give him ”you knew it was a joke right?”

“Matsun, some are your jokes just aren’t funny,” you say “especially when they're about me and our sex life in front of our friends too.”

“Y/N I didn’t mea-”

“You just come off as a huge dick sometimes, and I can’t do this anymore if you keep on making these comments anymore I don’t think I can do this.”

“Woah Y/N, are you threatening to break up with me?” he asks “Over a few little comments?”

“These aren’t a few little comments, sometimes what you say is just unnecessary and rude.”

“Okay well...”

“Well...” you repeat staring at him waiting for to apologise or atleast say something, “fuck you Matsukawa.”

You storm away and walk bout to the group saying “Empress lets go.” She jumps of Iwa’s lap and waves by to them following you back down to the school. You walk into the bathroom and just start to cry, “Y/N whats wrong?” Empress says pulling you into a hug

“H-He doesn’t care,” you cry “He pretty much excused his stupid comments, passing them off as little ‘jokes,’ that didn’t apparently mean anything.”

“Oh dear,” Empress says consoling you “he’s not worth your time right now.”

“B-but but I love him.” you wail fat tears streaming down your face.

“I know sweetheart, I know,” she says letting go of the hug “so what do you wanna do about him?”

“I don’t know,” you say “I don’t want to break up with him or anything, but is there a point in staying if he’s just going to make these comments again.”

“I don’t know Y/N, but whatever you wanna do I’ll support. Wether it’s keying his car or reading shitty fanfiction and crying.” Empress says making you laugh.

The final bell rings and now it's time to go home, of course you don’t walk with the guys so you just enjoy your own company walking home.

“Y/N! Y/N!” you hear from behind you and of course the only person it can be is Matsukawa.

“What do you want?” you mumbled

“I..I want too” he says heaving out of breath from the running he had to do “I want to apologise. I need do.”

“Okay...” you respond

“Im sorry, Im so so sorry,” he says “those jokes and comments were stupid and I agree I can be a dick sometimes. Well a lot of the time, but I never wanted to be a dick to you.”

“Well you were.”

“I know I was, and I’m so sorry. There’s no excuse what I said and what I have said before I just hope I can make it up to you.”

“Okay then.”

“So are we not broken up?”

“No we’re not broken up, but it’ll take a lot of making up to do for me to fully forgive you.”

“Great! And I'll spend every day to get you to forgive me.”

Which he did, he spent every day showering you with love and affection. He was way better than he was before, you even went on double dates with Oikawa and his flavour of the week and triple dates with Iwa and his girlfriend. Matsukawa, although he still made jokes, he never targeted them and centered them around you in an insulting way.

AN: I didn’t really like the matsukawa one since i couldn’t really write for him properyl sooo sorry bout that one kids.

#haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyu angst #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyu scenarios #haikyu headcanons #haikyu #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi scenarios #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi fluff #matsukawa x reader #matsukawa angst #matsukawa fluff #matsukawa oneshot #signedwithane😌

1K notes · View notes

theophagie-remade · 2 years ago

Text

(Warning: this is going to be a long long post)

[To make my life easier, I'm going to use "fanbase" to mean fans as a collective, and "fandom" to indicate those who are involved in shipping. Yes, I know that shipping isn't the only thing that makes up a fandom, but I need a quick way to differentiate between the two things, hence that "to make my life easier". Love and peace]

I've been spending a little more time on twitter these days just to witness the state of bnha discourse there (am I using it though? Ah! You'll never have me, hellsite [derogatory]), and man. It's genuinely... puzzling? Somewhat impressive, in a bad way? That such big portion of the fanbase appears to be completely unwilling to engage with anything that isn't surface level conflict, and completely disregards thematic elements, parallelisms, patterns...

Not that it's inherently wrong to be more interested in the fights, to want more action-based scenes or anything like that, and obviously it's not like bnha is the damned Divine Comedy, but the thing is, these are people who actively antagonize anyone who does talk about the [previously mentioned things] that it does have, and who do so in a scornful manner? What. Hello. I mean, shounen fans in general don't have the best reputation within manga/anime communities as it is, but to think that it has gotten this bad in there...

From my understanding things have turned especially sour in the past few months, but I do know that it has always been a thing. It was an eternity ago, but just to say one I still remember how a lot of people were genuinely convinced that Bakugou would indeed join the villains back when he had been kidnapped because... he has a bad attitude and is aggressive... When during the exam with Midoriya and All Might not long before that the audience was explicitly told what his objectives were, why he acted the way that he did, etc. Again, the problem isn't strictly that these people misunderstand things, but that they act like they know better and are so smart when canon (and theories by fandom swamp dwellers, but I'll get to this later*) has contradicted them again and again.

I'm going to half-recycle another post I made real quick. I know that to an external person it may look like I'm making up a Guy Type so that I can be mad at him, but well. It is a fact that the portion of the fanbase that I'm referring to is largely made up of young, straight men who invalidate the opinions of anyone who isn't like them, and that these guys are also very quick to turn to all sorts of bigotry whenever they have the chance, which... isn't a new thing obviously, but the thing with these guys is that oftentimes they're youtubers with a following, which can result in very nasty things. And after having had the displeasure of reading certain things, I do wonder why these men are even reading bnha anymore, what they're expecting out of it. It was obviously never going to be the dark manga that they wanted it to become. Midoriya was never going to be an ambiguous, emotionally distant protagonist. Bakugou was never going to remain a big, bad bully.

Recycling another post of mine again, but 💀 it literally is like this. Sorry for the bad screenshot but I don't want to worsen the length of this post too much lol

And speaking of Bakugou, something that at first really threw me off when I first exposed myself to this side of the fanbase (to the Dudebros™) is how vehemently they hate him. It's funny, because on paper he is most things that they've always wanted Midoriya to be. He's sure of himself, stronger than most since the beginning, has drive, is cool, isn't wHiNy. And then I began reading things like "all the teen girls and women in their 20s in this community care about is their stupid anime boy and their baseless gay ship" and I was like "Ah. It's one of those cases". And I don't like playing armchair psychologist, but from the way they're obsessed with bringing up his past bullying, and from how they talk about him in general, I do also think that they project hard onto Midoriya, whom they perceive as "the victim", "the underdog", hence why they wish he hated Bakugou, why they play down how important they are for each other, maybe why they refuse to accept the emotional weight of certain scenes and narrative choices.

And to tie back into *what I said earlier, this attitude that they have towards Bakugou, the way they act like he isn't a pivotal character (he's the damn co-star on set ffs), how they constantly and purposefully misunderstand him has had very funny outcomes, in which: they say A; the fandom (among which are the aforementioned brainless girls and women) says B; in the time that it takes for a chapter to come out, the dudebros revel in their perceived superiority; Horikoshi ends up delivering B, or as close to B as it could have been; ✨️the dudebros have a meltdown✨️, mayhaps they even have the bright idea of sending some death threats to Horikoshi himself here and there; repeat. And obviously the fandom has its own unlikely theories too, but in the case of these guys we're talking consistent levels of flopping, of completely misreading the manga and the characters. But no, it's the teen girls and the women who are stupid and ruin the fanbase with their disgusting gay🤢🤮 shipping (and any queer fan too, obviously 🙄, do any of you not know that shounen manga is supposed to be for us manly straight men who like pussy and want to see blood and guts 🙄) (why are you even still reading bnha if you're looking for that???)

The unfortunate coincidence that has made all of this worse was that, just as most people in the fandom like Bakugou and most dudebros dislike him, most dudebros like Uraraka and most people in the fandom... dislike her? Nope, not even that! (Un)surprisingly, there aren't many people around who express negative things about Uraraka herself. What I did read? Criticism (very understandable criticism, criticism that I fully agree with) of Horikoshi's writing, wishes that she had been given more agency, that she had been treated like the prominent supporting character that she is in a dignified way and not just as the mc's token future wife... Mhhh. Funny that. Funny also that most of this criticism indeed comes from women, who in turn are told that they should just shut up and stop complaining. :)

And wouldn't it be even funnier if the two characters that the fanbase is split over were both shipped with the mc, creating an even more polarised environment. :). And it's frustrating that it all circles back to that, izuocha isn't fandom-popular because people generally bring up its one-sidedness and the fact that Uraraka's feelings for Midoriya did have a negative impact on her growth, bakudeku isn't dudebro-popular because, and I'm listing things that I have literally read: it's gay and Midoriya and Bakugou aren't gay (a classic, an evergreen. Fresh); Bakugou abused Midoriya; Midoriya and Bakugou think of each other like brothers (note the paradox here); it's "sexualising children" (but shipping izuocha isn't?).

So Fun. Not one thing to not love in here 👍

Going back to Bakugou a second, but at this point it isn't even funny to read certain comments anymore for just how stupid they are. Bakugou dudebros pov encouraging him to win, keeping his secrets, wanting him to look at me, helping him train, constantly worrying for him, saving his life by risking mine, knowing him better than anyone else, apologising to him, being the closest person to him, acting like and thinking about him before possibly dying because I hate him 💢😠👊

And I mean, like I said lots of guys say things like these because 1) of projection and refusal to move on from the bully version of him from the earliest part of the story; 2) he's largely liked by female fans and Women Bad; 3) it's an extension of the bakudeku/izuocha ship war (🙄), but this pettiness and desire to be contrary for no good reason at all do leave me ??? Like, just how incapable of reading are you willing to make yourself look just because of how immature you are (if you are indeed faking it instead of the worse scenario, which is you not even misreading things on purpose but being that bad at it...)

#SORRY for the rant-y discourse-y epic of gilgamesh i just wanted to let it all out in one place 🙏#bnha #Technically #bakudeku #there are so many dudebros it's insane #mytext #animanga #long post #salty

26 notes · View notes

supernovafeather · 3 years ago

Note

Hi, this is 1st time requesting lol. Can we get a Leto x Jessica x reader in which she’s in love them both + confession plsssss

Times of Crisis

Leto Atreides x F!Reader x Lady Jessica

Warnings : enemies to lovers, mention of canon violence, angst, fluff.

Even while spending years burning in the sand of this planet you heard of them. The all-mighty Duke that has governed over his ancestors' planet with his beloved Bene Gesserit concubine. How could you not ? You thought most of their story was a legend. How could happy stories happen ehile you were forcing Fremens to work for the Harkonnens ? How could happiness be a thing when you lived in one of the Hells surviving in this galaxy thanks to the money and power it had to offer ?

For weeks you had tried to tame this devouring curiosity at their arrival. Why should you show any benevolence to your future rulers ? The Bene Gesserit already brainwashed the people about their son, a young man not even capable of governing yet, one so pale and calm that you couldn't even imagine him able to hold the reigns of this samdy fireball. What did the Emperor have in mind ? His parents at least offered another image. Something more solid.

At first you thought about keeping your eyes on his concubine, this Lady Jessica. But she came veiled, hidden in most part, far behind her partner. Duke Leto Atreides. Him you could read his behavior more openly, easily. Confident. Conquering. Yet those side eyed glances towards the people screaming for his son from afar, words distorded by the violent and dry wind, trying to catch their young and unexperienced messiah's attention.

Serving them is an honor. Despite your past and his cautious stares, Duke Leto welcomed you among his closest allies to hear from your own mouth how everything had been organized here. What crimes had been committed under your grasp. How much the Harkonnens obtained. Why you did that. Honestly ? You did everything for both money and power. After all what else had you to earn from this hellhole as you heard himself call this in planet ?

Leto Atreides is justice, you discovered with amazement from the corner of the table. And far from being stupid. Your trust in the Emperor sinked significantly now that you follow the Atreides vision of things. But what touched you the most was this visible homesickness in his eyes each time he set his gaze on the huge dunes surrounding the city.

"How was Caladan ?" You asked once as he walks by your side in the outside of his palace in his armor right before the daily heatwave. "I heard it was... cold. Rainy."

He hums, his brown pupils leaving the blinding dunes shining under the ruthless sun.

"Cold... for you at least. For me it has the perfect temperature. Perfect colors." He mumbles as you stop behind a high column protecting you with a huge shadow. "It is certainly something else."

Maybe you gained his trust over the weeks, maybe not. How could you be able to tell with his narrowed eyes and undecipherable face turned to you ?

"I've spent my life on Arrakis." You say. "I can't even imagine another climates. Other colors. Especially with such evasive words."

"Some planets are so cold you would die on the spot, your muscles paralyzed. Some are even so hot than you wouldn't even be able to feel thirst taking your body over. Our galaxy and others are full of surprises." He acknowledges with a nod.

There is something unsettling at the way he stares straight at your soul. It is none as aggressive nor as suggestive as the Baron's gaze as you were surrounded by these poor women whose nudity was barely veiled under their transparent dresses in his presence, their shaved heads lowered to the ground during your reports.

"My Lord. Do you even trust me ?"

He sighs, frowning before looking away to the dunes once more.

"I do."

"You don't."

This attracts his stern glare as he turns to you, raising this tension reigning over the both of you. Yet, he doesn't act like you are about to get attacked. His hands remain under his back. As usual. At least he doesn't feel threatened.

"I can't quite understand what your point is." He admits in a neutral voice. "My answer seems clear to me. I am walking with you. I listen to your opinion everyday. I debate. If I couldn't trust you you wouldn't have kept such privileges."

You snort at this and the Duke raises an eyebrow at your involuntary reaction.

"I apologize." You say with a gaze lowered to the marbled ground. "I got those privileges from you. Not from the Harkonnens. I didn't keep them. I got them. This is the difference."

When your eyes meet his you notice this flash of pity that would come across his face under some circumstances. It's rare, but obvious enough not to ignore. No matter how many barriers he keeps raised between you, you feel more and more attracted as times goes by.

And as painful as it is, you feel the same about his concubine. This Lady Jessica. Colder, but sharing this confidence in every gesture. These glances thrown at anyone surrounding her or her family. The insisting ones she sends you when you don't lower your gaze. But why would you ? The Bene Gesserit leaft its marks on this planet at least as much as the Harkonnens did and targeted the people leaving there, infiltrating their minds to make them adore an invented messiah. You don't know anything about their goals but you fear them. There is no other word to qualify what you feel. Why is there this excited shiver down your spine whenever she defies you calmly ?

"I already told you not to look at me like this, my Lady." She warns you calmly as she stands right in front of you, her eyes staring at your soul in this exact way her concubine's did days earlier.

You discovered those pleasing adrenaline shots each time you defy her openly in private, this tension making you feel both in control and in danger with her. What does she have to hide from you and Duke Leto ? Is she loyal ? Does she love him like in the rumors you have heard about them ? What is she ? Who is she ?

"Why ?" You ask simply as her stern eyes don't leave your face. "Is there any problem my dear Lady ? Anything troubling you ?"

"I do think you have a problem with me." She says as she comes even closer, her displeased features making your heart skip a beat. "Who are you ? An Atreides servant ? Or an Harkonnen one ?"

"I am no servant." You mumble as her lips get closer.

"No servant ? No servant, really ?" She asks in a sour voice. "It's not what I've seen in your files. Obeying those people blindly, like a good little soldier while you made your people suffer. Then obeying us blindly, once again like a good little soldier while taking care of your people. What kind of person are you ? A coward ?"

"Is it a crime to think about my own survival ?" You chuckle darkly as you maintain this hateful eye contact with hers. "May I remind you that without me by your side to guide you, you would have an Harkonnen spy with you instead ?" You ask as she clenches her jaws. "How does that feel to have to trust me ?"

"I don't trust you, Harkonnen."

"I don't trust the Bene Gesserit neither." You snarl as her eyes start watering. "Get out of my planet."

This might have been the ultimate mistake you think as she holds you against the wall, a cold blade on your throat and her nose brushing against yours as you get paralyzed, pressing even harder against the naked and impersonal wall. Where had she learned to fight ?

"Why are you so irritating ?" She asks with her head tilted to the side and her hot and whistling breath tickling your jaw and throat. "Why are you like this all the time ? Why so threatening ?"

"You are the one holding the blade there." You correct her before she presses harder into you, your arms against the wall as you feel this attraction growing endlessly.

"Holding the blade against the woman that served the Harkonnens, that helped them to grow big enough to be a threat to the whole galaxy, even to my own family." She whispers at your ear as you close your eyes in an ultimate weak gesture. "Why do you like to play this much ?"

Your eyes are not the only ones full of desire as she forces you to look at her with her hand on your throat. Her face may be still this cold, but dilated pupils can't lie. Nor this erratic breath. Nor this thumb caressing your cheek before she abandons you there, a last confused glanced sent to you before walking away.

Then comes the day everyone thinks to be your last one as you get dragged away without any explanation from your quarters by two gards as four others walk behind you. A few minutes later you are thrown to the ground in front of the ruling couple, your knees hitting the floor hard enough to make you groan in pain. A soldiers pulls on your hair to force you to keep a straight stance, your knees still on the ground. You wonder what you could have done - or more exactly what the Harkonnens could have done before their departure - to have Leto Atreides fulminating like this as he stands in front of you.

"Are you the one who planned to kill my son ?"

"I-I beg your pardon my Lord ?" You ask with a genuine confusion.

"Are you the one who tried to kill my son." He snarls between his clenched teeth, disdain and frustration clear in his eyes.

"No... no what happened ?"

You turn your head to Lady Jessica not far from there as she rises her head defiantly at you only to look you down even more than she was already.

"What happened is that my son almost got killed in his chambers. That's what happened."

"I have absolutely nothing to do with it my Lord, I was either in my chambers or with our soldiers." You say confidently not to get crushed by anxiety.

"Jessica." The Duke mumbles as he lets his place to his concubine. "You two, give her a chair."

You jolt at the noise made by the piece of furniture thrown next to you and have no choice but to let them sit you on it by force. You have to obey and follow whatever is going to happen to you. If you learned one thing from this House it's that attacking a member of their family would mean having the rest of them tracking you down until you get crushed under their boot. It's no time for misunderstanding and attitude.

"Tell me." Jessica says quietly as for some reason she kneels in front of you, her hands clasped on your thighs. "Tell me what you know."

She is acting all sweet but still wear this cold mask. Your heart is pounding and you look up at the Duke standing by your left, his back turned to you.

"I know nothing." You claim as you peer down at her. "I did nothing and don't know anything about it."

But then her next "tell me" doesn't sound the same anymore. Her tone is stern, the world around you seeming to bend differently to the universe laws.

"I don't know anything about it my Lady." You say out of nowhere.

"Tell me how loyal you are to Arrakis."

"I'd die for it."

"Tell me if you would ever hurt Paul."

"I would never."

"Tell me if you are an Harkonnen agent."

"I am not."

You can only comply fully, your brain unable to formulate any question. The little voicein your head got erased, replaced by hers and her questions.

"Tell me how loyal you are to House Atreides."

"I would follow its members till my last breath."

It stops and you blink, now feeling uncomfortable and exposed to her, the Duke and the soldiers behind you. It was one thing to get beat up and threatened of all kind of things by Harkonnens, but getting your mind obedient to a sole voice was somewhat more terrifying.

You lower your head as Jessica whispers something at Leto low enough not to be understood by anyone else. This was not over for you.

"Leave this room and wait in the hallway, soldiers." The Duke commands.

He may not have the same powers as her, but the men obey with the same efficiency. Once the door closed...

"I am sorry for what just happened." Jessica says as she rubs her palms. "But... as you know now someone tried to assassinate our son. With a tiny robot that managed to find its way to his room."

You don't reply, still too disturbed by how easy it is for her to tame people's mind. The Bene Gesserit definitely is something horrible. You learned to trust her throughout time but do they all have that power ? It's now the most unsettling thought you've had in a while. No wonder they can infiltrate any House and any planet.

"I... I understand." You say hesitantly.

It's painful not to be trusted by them but could you really complain about it ? You always acted like the insufferable former Harkonnen agent. If you had not better conteol over your own emotion you think you would have ended up in tears out of humiliation.

The Duke's hand rests on your shoulder, probably feeling the conflicted feelings running wild in your head. It anchors you to reality, protecting you more than you would have thought. Spreading this warmth you had no choice but to let grow day after day.

"I have one last question." Jessica starts gently.

You squirm away from her but Leto keeps his grasp on you in an encouraging gesture. By looking up at him you notice the warning he sends Jessica with his gaze.

"I won't use the Voice on you again. Do not fear me." She assures you.

You nod in response, unsure of what to do now.

"Leto and myself asked ourselves why you kept acting the way you did. You had no reason to make us think you were still working for them."

"They have spies everywhere. Guards. Maids. Soldiers."

Leto's hand now rests on your other shoulder as Jessica looks up at him, herself seeming hesitating for once.

"We noticed how it contradicts your gaze."

You frown at this and she walks closer to you before kneeling again. Their actions are confusing.

"The both of us noticed that it doesn't match your attitude. It grew towards something... different."

Her hands take yours softly, letting you some time to protest. As you don't she rubs up your forearms then down your fingers several times. The silence stretches for such a long time that your dry throat becomes unbearable, forcing you to clear it.

"What... what do you..."

"You survived to a reign of Harkonnens on such a hostile planet as Arrakis." Leto states simply as you avoid his gaze. "Trust us there is nothing to fear there. You are innocent of what happened to our son. But we need you to be honest with us."

"You already know I'm loyal to your House." You protest faintly as Jessica rubs your cheek and looks at you directly. "I already told you everything."

"Not everything. Not this little thing that could change the future." Jessica whispers. "This little thing the Harkonnens and the Emperor couldn't predict. And from what I know, not even the Bene Gesserit. Am I wrong ?"

"I doubt the Bene Gesserit couldn't plan this, they can do everything."

"So... do you confirm this was not an illusion ?"

You nod. You have no idea why this could change the future according to her. For the first time you see a smile on her face, a brief one then swallowed by this tension fed by the recent events. Still, she kisses the back of your hands once each.

"We need everyone to counter the Harkonnens." Leto says. "War is imminent, as you know. If anything happens to one of us, or to the both of us, Paul will need someone to protect and guide him. We trust you with our life, just like you trust us with yours."

This pops the bubble around you with cruelty as Jessica stands up. What drove them to ask your feeling is this pressing need to protect their family at all costs. The gentle kiss on the corner of your lips from Jessica soothes your soul, as well as the one on the top of your head from Leto. Your brain gets foggy as he rests his forehead affectionately against yours, but it's nothing compared to the tender kiss pressed against your lips.

- - - -

Thanks for reading please comment and reblog if you liked it ! ☺️

@salome-c @thedukeofcaladan @amneris21 @lavenderluna10 @one-hell-of-a-disappointment @dailyreverie @anaaaispunk @beepboopyoda @general-latino @samsspade @ateliefloresdaprimavera @thebitchywitchyone @thecursivej @focccus @lady-targaryen

#leto atreides #leto atreides x reader #leto atreides x you #duke leto x reader #duke leto x you #duke leto #lady jessica #lady jessica x you #lady jessica x reader

108 notes · View notes

uwuwriting · 4 years ago

Text

Tamaki, Todoroki and Shinsou in a secret relationship....and how they got caught.

Request: Hello I love your blog and since your requests are open I would like to request Tamaki Todoroki and Shinsou being in a secret relationship for a long time and how they got outed. If you could write something similar for Semi, Akaashi, Kenma and Sakusa from Haikyuu you would be a blessing. I love you!!!! - anonymous

Awww of course I’ll write for the Haikyuu boys as well. I’ll write later this week or the next and since its almost midnight here HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHINSOU!!!! I have a special soulmate au as I usually do for my husband!!!! I’m sorry I’m not getting to those soulmate aus quicker 😣😣😣😣. Love yaa.💖💖💖💖

rules

warnings: fluff

Amajiki Tamaki

-He’s so shy omggg.

-How did you manage to get him into a relationship???

-He loves you to the moon and back.

-Would do anything for you.

-You two were in the same class all through out high school and during your second year he asked you out.

-Okay not exactly.

-You were studying in the library together during a really bad storm when the lights went out.

-Loud lightning followed and you jumped out of your skin.

-You were terrified of lightning and being paired with complete darkness you were petrified.

-Now Tamaki had had a crush on you since early last year and seeing you so terrified and vulnerable he pushed through his anxiety for a split moment and wrapped you in a hug, stroking your hair soothingly as he tried to calm you down.

- “I-I’ll p-protect you. I-I w-won’t let a-anything h-hurt you..... ever.”

-That’s how your relationship began basically.

-He comforted you and kept you safe, shielding you from your fears.

-Everything else is history.

-Now you are both third years in your respective hero studies with a bright future in front of you.

-Your relationship has been kept a secret mainly because both of you don’t like making your private lives public.

-Only Nejire and Mirio know.

-Surprisingly they have kept it a secret.

-Fatgum has a suspicion that Tamaki has someone in his life, someone really important.

-So important he had called in one time claiming that he had an emergency and wouldn’t make it to the agency.

-When Fatgum asked, Tamaki began stuttering and mumbling about someone really close to him being sick and needing help.

-In reality you were on your period and had awful cramps.

-You were feeling like death, curled up in a ball on Tamaki’s bed and refusing to move.

-You had begged him to go to his hero study but he claimed that you were more important, not going to the agency for an evening wouldn’t mark the end of the world.

-Then Chisaki happened and Tamaki was badly injured.

-Your agency was stationed outside so you couldn’t help him or know what had happened.

-You had a broken arm after the fight and was being escorted to the ambulances when you saw Tamaki being carried on a stretcher blood running down his cheek as his arms and whole body was covered in bruises, cuts and so much blood.

-Your feet moved on their own accord, sprinted through the crowd ignoring the calls of the medic until you reached your boyfriend.

- “Tama? T-Tamaki baby wake up.”

-Fatgum saw you touch Tamaki’s cheek with your good hand and how, when the boy weakly opened his eyes, he placed his own hand over yours.

-Tears were running down your cheeks as you looked at him, following the medics as they placed the stretcher in the ambulance.

-They told you that he would be fine and that you should find another medical team that could take care of your arm.

-Everything fell apart though when you saw Mirio and Sir Nighteye.

-Everything was a mess but Fatgum noticed how you would always look back to Tamaki’s ambulance as it drove off.

-In the hospital you didn’t leave Tamaki’s room, insisting on getting your bandages changed in his room refusing to get your own and leave his side.

-Fatgum was happy for him.

-Especially when he went to visit and found Tamaki holding you close to him.

-Your head was over his heart as he gently massaged your back, tears falling down your cheeks once again.

-Then he kissed your forehead and Fatgum knew that this wasn’t a moment he wanted to interrupt.

-When he did visit along side Kirishima he didn’t lose a bit before he asked about you.

-You were surprisingly not beside him deciding to visit Mirio again to see how he was coping.

- “So... what’s her name hm?”

- “W-Who?”

- “Your girlfriend!!”

-Tamaki burst into a deep blush as he tried hiding his face in his hands.

- “Come one I’ve seen how she looks at you and how you kissed her OH so lovingly on the forehead the other day was the cut-”

- “Y/N! H-her n-name is Y-Y/N.”

-Kirishima is standing there, jaw almost touching the floor when you open the door and peek inside.

- “Oh! I’m sorry.... I-I’ll come back later....”

-Okay now Kirishima is already kind losing it because he didn’t expect his shy senpai to have a girlfriend.

-So when Tamaki lets out a very low, slightly above a whisper, “But bunny....” he freaking snaps.

- “WHAT!!!!”

- “Kirishima we’re in a hospital!”

-Get ready to be bombarded with questions....poor you.

-At least you get to sit next to Tamaki while you are being interrogated.

-They insisted on that saying that they wouldn’t keep Tamaki away from his girl...Tamaki is burying his face in your hair....shy baby.

Todoroki Shouto

-Okay so your relationship is a secret because of his dad.

-He wanted to shield you from his toxicity.

-Plus Shouto knew that his dad would force you two apart and he couldn’t let that happen.

-So you are his little secret.

-Only his mom knows about you.

-Shouto took you to meet her after your one year anniversary.

-He loves you so damn much he could die.

-So seeing the two most important women in his life interact and get along he melts.

-As you say your goodbye to Rei she hugs you, thanking you for taking care of her baby and that your secret will be safe with her.

-Then she moves on to Shouto as you wait in the hallway.

- “I like her Shouto. She really loves you. Please take good care of her.”

-Boy falls in love with you all over again I swear to god.

-Now you spend a lot of time in his dorm.

-When I say a lot I mean it.

-You remember how Shouto managed to remodel his room in an afternoon during their first day in the dorms.

-Yeah that’s what he does for your dates.

-Since you can’t risk going to outdoor dates very often since it’s very easy for a paparazzi to spot the son of Endeavor.

-Especially if he is holding hands with someone else.

-Natsuo actually warned you about that and he was the one to suggest dorm dates.

-He had taken his girlfriend out on a diner date and the next day they were all over multiple tabloids accompanied by multiple calls from Endeavor.

-All Todoroki children hide their s/o’s......even Fuyumi.

-Anyways back to Shouto.

-You spend so much time in his room that you tend to leave some of your clothes there.

-You change into his hoodies in his room so forgetting your shirt there is a usual phenomenon.

-Plus you do the dirty so.... scattered clothes.

-Now Todoroki is friends with Momo.

-And Momo is friends with you.

-And she has seen your closet on multiple occasions.

-She knows your clothes.....you see where I’m going with this?

-Todoroki was struggling with some chemistry problems and you were out doing your hero studies.

-You had apologized to him multiple times and had suggested Momo as the perfect tutor.

-That’s why Momo is now alone in his room as he is making tea in the kitchen, looking at what seems to be like one of your favorite sweaters.

-You had gotten it during Christmas and wouldn’t take it off for a week straight.

-You had basically brainwashed them by how often you wear it.

-Why was it in Todoroki’s room though?

- “Todoroki-kun why do you have L/N-san’s sweater?”

-He froze.

-You had stayed the night last Monday and you had been wearing that sweater.

-He remembers it vividly since he was the one who took it off.....along with your bra.......that he threw somewhere in the room.....AND MOMO COULD FIND AT ANY MOMENT.

-Momo was starting to get worried because well....he had been standing at the same spot for a solid minute staring at absolutely nothing.

-Standing up she went to shake his shoulder when her eyes caught a bright red fabric peeking out from under the desk.

-Brushing past him she crouched down and grabbed the fabric revealing the red bra.

-Todoroki snapped out of his shock state the moment Momo reached for the bra strap.

-He couldn’t stop her though....

- “T-Todoroki-kun.....”

-And as if things couldn’t get any worse, his phone started to ring as your photo appeared on the screen your name replaced by a heart surrounded ‘babygirl’.

-Todoroki groaned at well everything.

-Momo was blushing like crazy STILL holding your bra.

-You two had a lot of things to explain.

Shinsou Hitoshi

-I’ve said this before.

-You never meant your relationship to be a secret.

-At least not in the beginning.

-You two just never acted like a couple and people assumed that you were just good friends.

-Then you heard Aizawa scaring a boy who had made Mina cry so.........dating his special trainee while you were one of his FEMALE students?

-Nope.

-A secret it is.

-Aizawa is a protective dad and you can’t change my mind.

-You have a collection of hoodies you have ‘borrowed’ that you wear only inside your or his dorm.

-And while you sleep.

-Falling asleep surrounded by his scent is heaven.

-Aizawa has caught you twice wearing his hoodies.

-Once when Shinsou got turned into a baby and once when you went to get water and he scared you shitless.

-Aizawa knows about yalls relationship.

-You can run but you cannot hide child.

-Anyways.

-You had a box full of Polaroids from your dates.

-He knew how happy you were when you two took photos that’s why he bought you a Polaroid.

-Now you can print your photos and decorate your room.

-Shinsou is an insomniac.

-We’ve been knew.

-So on the rare days when he feels kinda sleepy but he misses you so badly he can’t really fall asleep he’ll sneak in your dorm and have an impromptu sleepover.

-You don’t complain of course.

-You love to snuggle up to him.

-Also this boy loves wrapping you up in his arms.

-Snuggles snuggles snuggles.

-Irrelevant information: he has you saved on his phone as kitten and your contact photo is you hanging upside down from the ceiling wrapped up in his capture tool.

-He had tried teaching you to use it and you somehow managed to climb on the bookcase trying to remake that scene from Tarzan but the cloth got caught on the ceiling fan resulting in this hilarious photo.

-Back to your sleepover.

-He falls asleep like in the blink of an eye.

-Your sleep that night is the best both of you have had in a fat while.

-Plus the fact that its the weekend lets you enjoy each others warmth for as long as you like.

-YES YOU SLEPT IN!!!!

-Being friends with Mina and Kaminari is a ride.

-Sero and Bakubro and maybe Kiri in some occasions are damage control but they get tired and let you take care of the children.

-You had promised to go out shopping that morning, a plan you totally forgot when Shinsou tapped your window last night.

-Giving Mina a spare key to your room was the worst decision you could have made considering you were in a secret relationship.

-When you didn’t show up on time the two idiots waited for an hour before they made their way to your room.

-Using the spare key she pushed the door open letting out a long “Y/N-CHAAAAN!!!” which scared the soul out of your bodies.

-You let out a startled scream that woke Hitoshi up who without missing a bit pulled you under him shielding you from whatever made you scream.

-It was purely on instinct to save and protect you hfqpirhfhsod so cute!!!!

-Mina was left staring at the scene in front of her while Kaminari was calling Sero begging him to come to your room.

-I don’t know how they didn’t attract dadzawa.

-You would get your ass whooped.

-Shopping was long forgotten as the whole Bakusquad came one by one in your room waiting for the tea to be spilled.

-Mina and Sero were angry since they have tried time and time again to hook you up with multiple of their friends, Bakugou didn’t care but he approved, Kaminari and Kirishima were threatening Shisnou if he ever were to break your heart.

- “I love her you dumbasses I’m not going to hurt her!!!”

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan @the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei

7K notes · View notes

moyokeansimblr · 2 years ago

Text

Yesterday I watched a ts3 CAS video on youtube and it made me want to download heaps of CC so I racked my brain for a good excuse. I love making male sims in all the games so I originally thought of just making a few boys to live together.

Then it hit me:

Why don't I reboot my favorite household I ever made in ts3? They were a never-aging band called the FirEnds and I loved them. I played them constantly between 2012-2014, so I thought it could be fun to give them 2022 CC looks especially since I have no remaining CC left from that era of time. Unfortunately that means I can't do before & after pics although I'll throw in the only screenie I still have of all 4 of them. I never took screenshots back then, sadly.

Okay are you ready? Yeah I know it shows absolutely nothing 👍

They didn't even have CC skin because I made them at a time when I had no CC. Then they somehow ended up like this. But anyways let's get on to their 2022 reboots, shall we? I gave them CC skin but made no other changes to their faces. They were all covered in tattoos which I removed so that I have fresh canvases to tat up during play. I don't have very much male CC yet so I'll likely tweak them even more as I go.

Get ready for questionable names, long hair, and eyeliner. Had to keep them true to their 2012-2014 selves. I did my best to dress them the way they would have back then.

✨✨✨

Name: Khristian Villareal

Sexuality: Undefined

Khristian is the band's bassist and besides that only ever worked part-time jobs. He's had a few girlfriends but nothing serious. He likes nerdy things, dogs, and brunettes. He is a weird guy in the best type of way. Others often find him hard to understand because he spends most of his time in his own world.

🎮

Name: Manchester Hillguard

Sexuality: Straight

Manchester is the band's guitarist, but he is also a solo Vocal Legend. He has a preference for ultra-glam, big-busted blondes and would be a Romance aspiration were this sims 2. He's the most masculine of the group and sometimes isn't the most friendly. He cares deeply about his appearance and it's canon that he may have had an ED in the past.

💋

Name: Adrian Mistine

Sexuality: Gay

Adrian is the band's drummer but also a World-Renowned Surgeon! He is extremely smart but tends to dumb himself down to match everyone around him. He's naturally blonde but has had every color and style hair imaginable. He's the only one of the 4 who had any significant long-term relationships. He fluctuates between a sort of muted-goth aesthetic and hot-pink drag queen. Those around him would describe him as having the biggest heart ever.

🌷

Name: Nicky Holmstedt

Sexuality: Does it matter if nobody ever wants him?

Nicky is the band's keyboardist and occasionally sells paintings on the side. Real jobs and actually working isn't his thing. Nicky started out with an aesthetic closer to Khristian's however as Adrian is the only person to actually understand him (his words, not mine), overtime he began mimicking Adrian's style and then put his own spin on it. He's had absolutely terrible luck with women. He smokes. He comfort eats. He likes cats. If sims had mental illness he'd be depressed.

🦇

It took me way too long to do this so I don't get to actually play tonight 😓 Tomorrow I'm going to make them potential partners to live in the world and then I think send them to university right away as opposed to at the very end like I did with their 2012-2014 equivalents. These 4 sims are clones of the originals so they have no relationships, no skills, no progress. However I do intend to take them down similar or identical paths to how they were. It's just their old save was a complete mess.

#moyokean #sims 3 #the sims 3 #ts3 #firends v2 #i love these sims so freaking much #i will cherish them always #so pls be nice about them #even with 2022 cc they're so different #to how i would actually make sims now

18 notes · View notes

ragingbookdragon · 3 years ago

Text

Let It All Come Crashing Down

Batbrother x Batfamily One-Shot

Word Count: 2K Warnings: Explicit Language, Mentions of Past Assault/Abuse

Author's Note: One of my favorite episodes of Criminal Minds was always the one where Morgan came face to face with his abuser. The dialogue at the end of the episode fits Batbrother's past too. But, this does mention past assault. If this is a triggering subject, please don't read. -Thorne

**********************************************************************

When he’d told Dick about the incident when he was seventeen, he didn’t expect it was going to come back full front. He’d kept tabs on the man whenever his former CO would move bases, when he promoted, when he eventually retired and relocated to Gotham City, opening a military assistance center. It was a farce, and he knew it. A place where the old CO could still continue his reign of fear on those still in the military and those outside.

***

He stared at the screen in the Batcave, ignoring the bickering of his youngest sibling and his father’s oldest friend, recounting every moment that led to the mission. A woman his age found dead, murdered, the brother charged with the crime. All evidence supported the facts, but (Y/N) knew. He knew deep down something else was going on, especially when he learned that the brother had attended the center in Gotham.

“Isaac Keegan is going to be sent to Blackgate tonight,” Bruce murmured. “He won’t last the night.”

(Y/N) shook his head. “He didn’t do this.”

His father glanced at him. “How do you know?”

“Doesn’t matter how I know,” he retorted with mild annoyance. “But I know who really did this.” He turned, glancing at Ghost-Maker. “Think you can get Isaac out of the armed van and back here without anyone dying?”

The vigilante cocked his arms over his chest. “Of course. But why do you wanna talk to him?”

“I don’t. But I need him alive long enough to get a confession out of the real killer.” (Y/N) answered, looking at Tim with a gaze that had his younger brother’s spine going straight; he could feel the seriousness ebbing from his older brother. “And I’m going to need your help with this.”

***

He didn’t like stepping into enemy territory without protection. He felt naked without his nano suit, even more so without his sidearm, but the last thing he needed was for the metal detectors in the building to go off and let the remaining people inside know he was there.

Slipping down the halls, he took a moment to catch his breath before he turned the corner into his old CO’s office.

“Davis.”

The older man looked up, eyes widening at the sight of his former subordinate. “(Y/N)? Is that—you’re alive?”

“I am,” he answered and Davis’ face split into a fake smile.

“I thought you’d died years ago in Afghanistan.”

“Not exactly.” (Y/N) kept away from the desk, away from close contact; he knew he could take the man, but he wanted the confession first before they came to blows, if they did. “I heard about Jessica Keegan.”

Davis frowned. “It’s a shame what happened to her. Even more so a shame that Isaac was the one who did it.” He shook his head. “I thought he was doing to well with his treatments too.”

(Y/N) tapped the device in his pocket. Now Tim. “Except that Isaac didn’t kill Jessica.”

“Excuse me?”

“All these years, I’ve kept my mouth shut,” (Y/N) said. “I’ve let you go on being a hero. Admiral Davis, the great war hero.”

“What in the world are you talking about?” Davis questioned, face contorting in confusion and the younger man scowled.

“God, I was so afraid of you when we were in Afghanistan,” he admitted. “I was afraid of going to Command about it all. Afraid of losing every promotion and achievement I was being given.” (Y/N) stepped forward, expression shifting to anger. “But that’s how you’ve always worked, isn’t it? You made sure there was a helluva lot to lose if someone came forward, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know what you think you remember about Afghanistan,” Davis said. “But—”

“No, no, no,” he interrupted. “See it’s not what I remember that’s going to hurt you, Davis. The business between us has been over way too long ago to matter.” (Y/N) explained. “You’re protected by a statute of limitations and that’s my fault.”

Davis shrugged. “Then good evening.”

He glared. “You set Isaac up! You knew his sister wanted him to call someone about you. So you killed her and framed him as a distressed veteran?” (Y/N)’s face pinched as he accused, “You killed her because you knew someone was going to piece it all together and come after you, didn’t you?”

“Now you’re just throwing accusations around.” Davis replied and (Y/N) slapped a decoration off his desk.

It shattered and he shouted, “God, I should’ve told someone about you when I was in Afghanistan! When you were ‘training’ me.” He took another step forward, voice lowering dangerously. “Well, you know what happens in cases like this? Once that dam breaks, the flood comes.”

He raised a finger. “One servicemember stands up, just one. And then another one, and another. Because they’re not afraid of your repercussions anymore—they know they’re not alone.” (Y/N) tipped his head up. “Isaac Keegan is your dam.”

For the first time since they’d started speaking, Davis showed his anger as he barked, “Whatever lies Isaac told you—”

“THEY ARE NOT LIES!” (Y/N) yelled. “YOU DID THE SAME THINGS TO ME!”

“I didn’t do a damn thing to you or to Isaac—”

“One by one, they’re going to pile up until there’s so many accusations, you can’t say that they’re all lies!”

Davis thrust his hands to his chest. “Do you have any idea how many men and women I helped promote? How many lives I’ve saved with my service?” He gestured to (Y/N). “Look at you! You would’ve been dead in a shallow grave if I hadn’t helped you.”

“Yeah, well that shit wasn’t for free, was it?” (Y/N) demanded, throat tightening with emotion.

“I pulled you out of the gutter.” Davis murmured.

He shook his head, the tears of anger flashing the pain from his voice. “I pulled myself out of the gutter! All the way to the top military squads! I did that!”

“You’re saying I had nothing to do with making you who you are?” Davis questioned, a look of offense on his face.

(Y/N)’s rage cooled, shoulders sinking back as he raised his head and admitted, “No Davis. Actually, I’m saying you have everything to do with making me who I am.” He gazed at the man. “Because of what you did to me, I’m the man who’s going to spend the rest of his life making sure abusers of power like you face the consequences.”

“(Y/N),” Davis comforted. “I never meant to hurt you.” His expression turned sympathetic. “You could’ve said no.”

He turned his head away, jaw clenching so hard it hurt, then he looked back at him, and two men turned the doorway. (Y/N) watched Davis’ eyes widen in shock.

“Quinton Davis, you’re under arrest for the rape and murder of Jessica Keegan.” The two military police officers walked around (Y/N), and each took an arm.

Davis shifted. “I’ve helped a lot of veterans and service members.” He started thrashing. “Nothing in this goddamn city is going to be the same with me. Without the center, who’s going to look after them?”

His expression hardened. “Wayne Enterprises will. I will.”

“Wait a minute damnit!” he looked at (Y/N), pleading, “(Y/N), please, isn’t there anything you can do for me?”

(Y/N) got in Davis’ face. “You can rot in hell.”

He watched the MP’s drag away the screaming man before letting out a shaky breath and reaching up to his chest, yanking off the necklace that had the camera built into it. Tim had no doubt cut the feed by now and he shoved it in his pocket, free hand coming up to wipe away the tears in his eyes.

***

“What happens now?” the young man asked, dark circles under his eyes making him seem wearier.

(Y/N) sighed. “There’s going to be a trial. Davis will face the consequences.”

Isaac frowned. “I’m going to have to testify, aren’t I?”

“Yes. But I know who the prosecutor is. She’s good. She’ll nail Davis to the wall for everything.”

“I…I don’t know if I can do it.”

He reached out and placed a hand on the man’s shoulder. “Then do it for Jessica.”

“I miss her.” Isaac whispered, head lowering as he sniffed. “I should’ve spoken out sooner.”

“I know,” (Y/N) murmured. “I feel the same.”

His head cocked up, teary eyes gazing into (Y/N)’s. “Will you be there?”

“I’ll probably be called by the prosecutors to testify.” He shrugged. “But with the statute of limitations, I don’t know how much it’s going to weight in our favor.”

“But you already told the world about your past with Davis?” Isaac said. “We—we all watched it live.”

“That was just the start.” (Y/N) said. “We have to see it to the end. For all the servicemen and women he abused over the years.” He turned, looking at Nightwing and Red Hood. “They’ll take you back to your apartment.”

Isaac nodded, starting to follow, then he stopped and looked back at (Y/N). “How’d you go on after Afghanistan?”

He met the young man’s eyes, then he glanced at his family. “I was still needed. Still am.” (Y/N) turned back to Isaac. “You never forget it…but it does get better.” He stuck his hand out. “And I’ll be there when you need me.”

They shook hands and he watched Isaac walk off with his brothers before he turned and moved to the railing overlooking Gotham Bay. A multitude of emotions swirled in his chest, but a sense of relief rested on his shoulders, and he let his head drop, the tears starting to drip down his cheeks.

Someone’s hand rested between his shoulder blades, followed by a deep voice comforting, “It’s okay, son.”

He shook his head. “I should’ve said something earlier.”

“It’s not your fault,” Bruce affirmed. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

(Y/N) looked up, gazing at his father. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” the man murmured, expression soft. “But why didn’t you come to me?”

He paused, inhaling shakily as he said, “It only lasted for a short time. I was promoted and inducted into the super soldier program.” He shrugged. “By the time I finally wanted to tell someone, Davis had already left the compound and too much time had passed for it to matter.”

(Y/N) gazed out at the water. “It’s not over…but the world knows what he really is now. And all the people who suffered are going to see justice.”

Bruce leaned on the railing next to him. “You don’t show many signs of a survivor,” he noted. “You keep it all under wraps.”

“I learned during the super soldier program that there are worse things than what happened to me.” (Y/N) sighed. “Davis’ abuse might be what makes me so hateful of abusers, but when I started the team, I refused to let it control me and my life.” He raised his head. “I was going to live my life to the fullest, with whoever I wanted and even if I never told anyone, that was going to be the one part of me no one would ever take away.”

His father observed him for a moment then he stood, nudging (Y/N) until he did too; they looked at one another, a father and a son, and Bruce said, “I’m proud of you, (Y/N). For everything.”

(Y/N)’s mouth opened and snapped shut once, twice, a third time, then he raised one hand to cover his eyes as the lower half of his face twisted in pain, the other fumbling blindly for Bruce. His father caught him, one strong arm wrapping around (Y/N)’s back, the other pressing his son’s head to his shoulder.

“I’m here son,” he murmured. “I’m always going to be here.” He pressed his lips to the young man’s temple. “And I love you son. So much.”

“I love you too, dad,” he choked out, holding onto his father for dear life.

296 notes · View notes