#and i ended up with michael crying
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Um, so, Rin says this to Sae:
And the very next scene we get this:
Does this mean Kaiser is the "amazing someone" Rin is going to "fight", "destroy" and "die like that"???
And does this mean Kaiser and Rin will self-destruct with by each other and Isagi gets to score the final goal?!! 💀
please tell me that isn't what's gonna happen please
#blue lock#bllk 271#blue lock spoilers#michael kaiser#rin itoshi#itoshi rin#bllk spoilers#i didn't want to do anything but quietly reblog bllk stuff on tihs blog#but this question kept me awake two nights so i had to put it out here ::_::#please tell me this isn't how it's gonna go next chapter#i love both rin and kaiser#and if both of them fail to score a goal instead end up destroying each other to pave the path for isagi#so that isagi uses this scenario to score the last goal himself#I WILL CRY
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the kids are on their waaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!
#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#fanart#fnaf movie#evan afton#elizabeth afton#michael afton#crying child#i love these weirdos so much#even if the movie ends up sucking im glad i live in a timeline where i got to watch it happen
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Took the lights out prompt as an excuse to finally draw the ‘michael having blood around his mouth as symbolism for his guilt of the accident’ idea ive had for a while now. Anyway yay fnaftober time :-)
#scov.art#miiilowo fnaftober#im not super happy w/ the colours in this but it was mainly just a quick lil thing bc it was my only legit idea for this prompt#everyone start counting how many times i end up drawing michael or vanessa/vanny /j#fnaf#michael afton#fnaf crying child#crying child#fnaf evan afton#fnaf: hauntings of the past au#im following my au designs so it counts as au content#eyestrain#tw eyestrain#artistic gore#i. forgot those im very sorry
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stumbles out of we solved fnaf and we're not kidding covered inblood
#i watched all of matpat's reactions to it and i agree with his thoughts on it for the most part#i LOVE that that video exists i really admire people who are willing to start from scratch and reevaluate info the fandom has considered#set-in-stone bcuz i think esp with something like fnaf thats really important. to just take a step back and be like#''we all consider this canon at this point but is it actually? is there really no other explanation?''#and yeah i really admire that ability to just totally take a big swing and go against everything that's been considered well and done#its literally um. almost 6am (insert fnaf joke here) and i still havent gone to bed so. im not gonna write out all my thoughts#BUT. i think cassidy being the crying child is rlly interesting and simplifies things in a way i like while also making other things#way more complicated. so i dont really know. the michael being the vengeful spirit part i do NOT agree with#i get where they were going but a lot of their evidence isnt great and additionally i just dont like the idea bcuz it turns the ending#of pizzeria simulator and UCN from a bittersweet conclusion to a far less satisfying and more bummer ending where its just mike#torturing his dad forever and never getting to move on himself. like no that guy is chillin in the afterlife playing cards with henry#they did point out a lot of other cool stuff too that i hadnt really thought about before like michael in sister location being#stuffed into the same fredbear suit that he put the crying child into. thats soooooo fucking good and makes a lot of sense#again im not gonna go into every little thing but the one thing i disagreed with matpat on which the comment section also#mentioned repeatedly is him saying that he doesnt think william would send michael to his death. as everyone has pointed out#like....... he definitely would. hes like the worst father ever and michael is the scapegoat child who everything is blamed on#yes theres the question of why he would wait so long to ''punish'' michael. but its moreso just that william didnt CARE if michael lived#or died sending him to circus baby's. i really don't think that was a stretch considering william's horrible abusive behavior and literal#status as a serial killer. yeah its fucked up but its definitely not out of the realm of possibility#ANYWAYS. holy fuck i need to go to bed. wild life tomorrow. good night everyone#infizero.txt
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Therapy isn't enough I need the CW to go back and re-film Season 11 to prove that Lucifer could have been saved if Michael didn't abandon him like Dean refused to abandon Sam.
#I'm old enough to know that some ideas are too cinematic and visual to be translated to fic and This Is One Of Them#Amara shows up and wants to eat Lucifer but Lucifer runs off comes back and tosses a bag of stuff for spellwork at Sam#Snaps his fingers and Devil's Dancefloor by Flogging Molly starts to play at an increasing volume#Someone comments that having a hype song is lame and Lucifer says YEAH IT'S REAL LAME ISN'T IT DEAN#Big knockdown fight between Lucifer and Amara and the spell banishes both but Lucifer manages to claw his way back#Michael!Adam clawed their way out of the cage but is living as Adam and Lucifer restores Michael's memories by giving back his blade#Michael and Lucifer working very poorly together but it reaches a head when they're trapped in a town Amara is going to literally devour#And Lucifer's like 'Oh we're both acts of God actually so one of us is going to have to destroy the other in Amara's general direction'#And Michael thinks it's a ploy and refuses and says Lucifer's so tainted he's not anything like what God made and Wow That's Mean#But Michael agrees thinking that sacrificing God's favored son will get dad to come back but Lucifer is genuinely afraid of death#Because angels don't get an afterlife so this has also been a narrative conversation about forgiveness outside of punishment and hell#But right before God does show up Michael has a hand inside Lucifer's glowing chest forcing his light in an attack beam at Amara#And Lucifer is crying screaming clawing growing weaker and Michael just stops and curls his free hand over the back of Lucifer's head#And he Regrets he realizes how long he's refused to let himself love his brother to serve his father and now it's the end#And not the end he prepared himself for but if he gets the freedom to love his brother and choose not to kill him maybe he chooses-#Ahahah Chuck's there now and 3V2 THERAPY TIME#WHO'S THAT IT'S JOHN WINCHESTER'S GHOST WITH A STEEL CHAIR#Anyway Supernatural was good when we still had narrative parallels and in every SamDean moment I am closing my eyes and seeing Them#S8 Sam during the Trials of God? Don't you mean Lucifer begging his brother to help him bear the mark before it warps him?#listen I'll shut up when someone tells me WHY DIDN'T LUCIFER GET TO GO APESHIT ABOUT DEAN DESTROYING THE MARK#LUCIFER BORE THE MARK FOR EONS SO DID CAIN THE MARK RUINED BOTH OF THEM#AND DEAN GETS TO TOSS IT AFTER A YEAR???? AND LUCIFER SAYS NOTHING??????????????????????????????#Not even a “Well now I know how Michael would have done with the mark”
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Play for Today: The Cry (BBC, 1984)
"It's best forgotten about."
"You're not gonna be making a complaint?"
"Complaints? We're not making any complaints! We don't want to know about any complaints."
"Complaints against who?"
"Well, the police."
"Who should I complain to about the police?"
"Well, the police, I suppose."
"What good would that do me?"
#play for today#the cry#1984#christopher menaul#derek mahon#adrian dunbar#michael duffy#doreen keogh#breffni mckenna#carol moore#rio fanning#john keegan#michael gormley#peter quigley#oliver maguire#derek lord#birdy sweeney#stella mccusker#denys hawthorne#one of the very final Plays for Today before the series was formally shelved in mid 1984; adapted from a short story by celebrated Irish#writer John Montague‚ this is a short‚ tightly wound entry among those final plays. it concerns a Northern Irish journalist returning home#and witnessing first hand the casual brutality of the Ulster Special Constabulary (commonly called the B Specials) in the late 1950s#the focus however is not on the act of violence which opens the play‚ but on the reactions of the local populace: Dunbar's journo decides#to write about the event (pushed by his father‚ a revolutionary who'd rather his son used a gun than a typewriter; the scenes of them#debating political activism could very easily have been laid on too thick but actually they're pitched just right). he's met with fearful#silence at every turn‚ with nobody willing to speak up and face inevitable reprisals. it's a horribly tense piece; through modern eyes i#kept waiting for some terrible fate to befall Dunbar (ie. his being killed) but actually‚ as the play makes clear‚ his terrible fate is the#disillusionment he suffers: in the people he once respected who he now views as cowards‚ in the system he once felt neutral about but now#detests‚ and in his own ideals about using a free press to bring about substantial social change peacefully‚ which now appears impossible#Menaul ends the play with news coverage of the violent suppression of protestors a decade later; it's a powerful end to a powerful piece
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HORROR/ROMANCE??????? ROMANCE????????
#im crying#halloween ends SUCKED#i remember streaming it to my followers when it first came out cuz i was already writing michael by then#and i remember everyone and their mom making blogs for COREY#michael's little meow meow.......#honestly....... i miss corey.#who's gonna write him for me#lmao i also remember being EMBARRASSED michael was so weak in that movie#me like...... mikey....... ur putting me to shame PLEASE GET UP AND FIGHT
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Good Omens Season 2 Spoilers
Specifically for ep 6
Just a thought I had but no, Aziraphale was right. Crowley didn't understand what Aziraphale was offering him.
He was offered to become a supreme archangel, and to have Crowley at his side. They could work together like they always have, but they'd be somewhere (Aziraphale thinks) would be safe. They wouldn't have to worry about being spotted, or about making their respective sides angry anymore. They could be together, they could be safe, they wouldn't have to worry about hiding or being careful.
What Metatron offered Aziraphale, and what Aziraphale is asking of Crowley, is not the same.
Aziraphale doesn't want to do what Beelzebub and Gabriel did. They had to run away, leave everything behind, be sure to not cross any boundaries to gain the ire of their former sides.
Aziraphale has already been living that with Crowley for the last 6000 years. He wants so badly for them to be able to go somewhere safe with Crowley. He doesn't want to run anymore. And what's better, he's given an offer to go somewhere where not only they'll be safe, but they can continue doing good together!!! They can make a difference! They can make the world a better place for people, for themselves, for everyone! It must have been a no-brainer to Aziraphale, outside interventions (see: coffee theory) notwithstanding.
I am still mad at him and some of the things he said to my sweet demon boy (Crowley is owed at least 3 apology dances at this point) but Aziraphale really thought this was the best way for them to be together.
I'm in pain.
#cas talks#cas screams#cas is biting things#the walls#blankets#yelling#crying#throwing up#they deserve their happy ending#but I am not worried they are in neil gaiman's david tennant's and michael sheen's capable hands#good omens#good omens season 2#good omens spoilers#good omens season 2 spoilers#go2#go2 spoilers#gos2#gos2 spoilers#good omens s2#good omens s2 spoilers#good omens 2#good omens 2 spoilers#I tried to tag every tag possible I am sorry if it has leaked through#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands
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Calling it now, "Mike" is gonna be Michael Afton, the security guard is gonna be Vanessa, and this is gonna definitely be related to Security Breach in a way.
#also michael is definitely gonna end up possessing the freddy suit#and abby(?) might be a stand-in for 'the crying child/emily afton'#since she's always carrying around that stuffed toy in the trailer#anyway new trailer dropt!!!#fnaf movie#fnaf (2023)#it looks ridiculous#i am so fucking hype
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literally everyone in the games: WOAH CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT KID SURVIVED?!
50% of the fandom: ....and then he died and became golden freddy OOOOHHHH I GET ITTTT matpat youre so smart
#txt#WHY WOULD THERE BE A POINT TO KEEP REPEATING OVER AND OVER AND OVER THAT THE BITE VICTIM SURVIVED#AND HOW AMAZING AND IMPRESSIVE IT IS AND BIZARRE IT IS#AND THEN ALSO HAVE MICHAELS WHJOLE THING BE#'WOAH ISNT IT CRAZY HE SURVIVED THAT?!'#AND BABYS WHOLE 'YOU WONT DIE' THING?!#OR THE FACT THAT THE PROTAG IN FNAF 4 IS CANONICALLY MICHAEL AND IS HBALLUCINATING HOSPITAL EQUIPTMENT AND THE NIGHTMARE FREDBEARS#WHY WOULD GOLDEN FREDDY BE THE ONLY CONSISTANTLY HALLUCINATED ANIMATRONIC IF NOT A HALLUCINATION FROM THE CCS POV#OR THE BOOK THAT MIKE CANONICALLY OWNED HAVE QURESTIONS IN IT DIRECTED AT *SOMEONE WHOD NEVER READ THE BOOK?!*#YOURE TELLING ME THEMATICALLY. LITERARILY. THAT THE THEMES FIT BETTER IF#THE CRYING CHILD RANDOMLY FUCKING DROPPED DEAD DESPITE IT ALL?!#DESPITE BEING TOLD HR WAS GOING TO BE PUT BACK TOGETHER?! BYU WILLIAM!? WHO IS WORKING ON A WAY TO STAY ALIVE FOREVER?! WHICH TURNS HIM INT#A ZOMBIE. AND MICHAEL *ALSO* ENDS UP TURNING INTO A ZOMBIE. WHY WOULD WILL NEED TO USE THE REMNANT ON HIM HM?!#HM?!#BECAUSE AS FAR AS I KNOW THE ONLY REASON HED USE IT ON MIKE IS IF HE THOUGHT MIEK WAS GOING TO DIE#AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO MAKE HIM THINK THAT THAN A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCEEEEEE AFTER HE ALREADY LOST HIS OTHER KID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I FEEL LIKE ITS LIKE COME ON GUYS ITS BEEN WHAT. WHAT?! 5 YEARS?!#JUST ADMIT YOU DONT WANT A DISABLED PROTAGONIST
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MICHAEL! SOMEWHERE IS NOT A HAPPY DISTRACTION SONG.
Oh so he’s just straight-up trying to kill us huh.
#good omens#good omens 2#michael sheen#seriously every time I listen to that song I end up crying#this man is a menace and I love him dearly
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Me: *crying* because HOW DID IT END? fits the TOG series & Aelin WAYYY too well for comfort😅😭
IM SORRY IN ADVANCE IF YOU READ THIS BECAUSE OW! BUT ALSO TAYLOR & SARAH WHY DOES IT FIT SO WELL? AND ALSO WHY BRAIN? — WHY NOTICE?? — OW! OW!! OWW!!! SRY BUT FANGIRL BRAIN GO BRRR😅😭🖤☠️🤷♀️🤦♀️
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsmen — from Dorian & his cold blue yet sweet soul of a good man not a ruthlessly weighted King, the Chaol & his “classic sensibilities”, to Rowan her carranam (her old life burning with it as it all changes for good)
Our maladies were such we could not cure them — Sam😭 they tried to get away, but they were always trapped (by the same thing that caused them to meet), the Assassin’s Keep (it’s called keep for a reason), Arobynn (🖕I hate him so much more by the day😅😂) the “guild”… they couldn’t run far enough even if they’d had the time to try… but they never would🖤
A touch that was my birthright became foreign — LOSING HER MAGIC & parents & home & kingdom & crown (all the times her very being was pried from her; an unfortunately long list… Arobynn… Endovier… Maeve… Erawan… Deanna… it goes on & on💙) and reclaiming it, to have it stolen again (she learns in Wendlyn & and then back to Rifthold with it gone, she unleashes magic only to be drained, gains strength & is possessed by Deanna until she burns out). Plus another “incurable malady” because the power talk she has with Brannon, how it makes her lose them, her, it’s hers but it’s always been her fear too (her parents) it goes on…
Come one, come all, it's happenin' again — her refusing to think Sam is dead, even seeing it, then fighting Rourke for him, and ending up trapped anyway. The King (who killed her family) facing her again, and off to Endovier (pried from her freedom or even a chance). Back to the King to be his butcher, still chased by monsters. Running through the castle to save Chaol from a fate she is screaming to her fear is not true (not again) only to find the letter and go cold & off to slaughter for him again. Running for Nehemia because “this time she would be fast enough”. The look in Rowan’s eyes as he turns to tell her & she begs him not to but Endovier’s people (her people) were slaughtered. “Ellywe is burning”… That crippling ache & fear & rightful paranoia; death always too few steps behind her. The “fate” for her by Elena, Deanna, & Mala… the lock, the key; the love, the losses.
Soon they'll go home to their husbands, Smug 'cause they know they can trust him— the bitter resentment of those who get to have that; trust, family, happiness… something more… something not lost… then when she does, the ache of the world they remain stuck in.
Walking in circles like she was lost — her going to the grave veiled in black as they avoid her grief like a plague
Say it once again with feeling, How the death rattle breathing, Silenced as the soul was leaving, The deflation of our dreaming, Leaving me bereft and reeling, My beloved ghost and me, Sitting in a tree D-Y-I-N-G — I mean this has been Aelin’s entire life, so much feeling so much silence so much screaming, not believing Arobynn, or Dorian, or Chaol, but seeing it. Being forced to take lives, and watch people lose them. Almost having hope, Chaol, or Dorian, or freedom, and then it happens again. The shell of herself and the “death she became”. Her watching the world from the woods on the anniversary…
*I’m in pain now… time to go read…😅😬🤦♀️* but hey Who’s Afraaaid of Little Old Me? also works and that’s way more pump-up kick-ass jams😅😂🤣
#more bar of sanity#sorry in advance iwantvaldezinator😅🤣🫶#How Did It End?#Aelin Sardothien#Celaena Sardothien#Aelin Ashryver Galathynius#traumatized children of Terrasen#the lost Queen of Terrasen#little Aelin deserved better#Swifties#Maasverse#TTPD#tortured poet indeed#😅😅 laughs then cries#ow in advance#I hate Arobynn#I love Rowan#oh back in the Chaolaena days OW#pulling a Michael Scott make myself cry for a tagline poster for a movie idea I had lol iykyk I understood that reference#sry#I need to go read and stop crying about this#but I also know EoS will destroy me so…#too close for comfort songs#songs that remind me of characters#and now im crying again 😂#I think this post is evil be warned#fangirl problems#too in the feels#associating fictional characters with songs is too dangerous#laughing coughing throwing up etc hehe
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TOP 10 PERSONAL FAVE MOVIES TO WATCH WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE ASS
I don't like movies that stress me out because life is already stressful but I DO love catharsis comedy found family friendship fantasy and violence so here are my top 10 movies and series to have a good time watching
Numbered for convenience but not in any particular order
John Wick 1 and 2: An ordinary man grieving the loss of his wife gets dragged back into his past as a shadowy, invisible world of international killers for hire is slowly revealed to be living among us. A love note to set design, lighting, and choreography. My favourite part is fixating on the symbolism. DO NOT WATCH 3. 4 is okay. DO NOT WATCH 3. There is a dog death in 1 that will make you cry so skip that part if you have to. DO NOT WATCH 3.
The lord of the Rings, all 3, extended edition best watched if you're on the couch with the flu and expect to fall asleep OR if it's your day off and it's raining outside OR if you have like 5 people lounging around in pajamas
Six Underground: Essentially an hour and a half long car commercial music video with found family and a fresher take on acommon plot. Ryan Reynolds essentially writes and directs a Michael Bay movie where 6 independant criminals gather together to overthrow a violent foreign dictatorship. You show up for a dumb heist and walk out ready to build a guillotine. TW for violence, car crashes, chemical warfare, and genocide. A very cathartic ending. Does unfortunately do the whole "vague, impoverished middle-eastern country" thing but the citizens are actually show as human beings which is a nice change of pace and oh wow that's depressing isn't it
The Princess Diaries 1 and 2: A sort-of-a-loser teenage girl, played by a 2001 Annie Hathaway, learns that her late father was a king of a foreign nation and must become a confident and responsible leader for his people. There is a scene in the rain where you will experience emotions. Best watched with snacks. 2 features an enemies-to-lovers type deal with Chris Pine.
Ella Enchanted: A shrek-style semi-musical fantasy romance in which a young woman is cursed at birth to do everything anyone tells her to do. Features several Queen songs and dance numbers sung by Annie Hathaway and that guy who plays the sad dog guy in Hannibal.
Stardust: A huge loser travels from 1800s England (?) to a magical world in order to fetch a fallen star for the insufferable love of his life before she marries a massive douchebag. The huge loser? Charlie Cox. The star? A living person. Also a whole bunch of princes are ALSO looking for them as a race for the throne while discreetly killing each other off. And also a bunch of witches want to eat her so they can be young and sexy. 11/10. I used to watch this 10 minutes at a time on a YouTube channel that posted it in chunks filmed on a digital camera in their living room
The Last Holiday: Queen Latifah, playing someone played by Queen Latifah, has been working an underappreciated minimum wage job for years, living a safe and conservative life trying to lose weight and save money. Then she finds out she has months to live, and decides to finally quit her job and blow it all on one massive luxury holiday vacation complete with five-star dining, making friends and finding love and confidence along the way. It's definitely corny but it makes me so happy thank you Queen Latifah
Zathura: It's the plot to the original Jumanji but in space instead of the rainforest. But listen to me: There's a twist reveal at the end that you need to pretend isn't there. It is vitally important when you get to that part- and you will know what part when it happens- that you pretend it didn't. Otherwise, a fresh and enjoyable adventure for any age!
Redacted cause I haven't seen it in a long time and it may be worse than I remember, gotta rewatch
Bullet Train. You go in expecting a ham-fisted find-the-mcguffin style action comedy and are blindsided by excellent narrative symmetry and genuinely likeable characters. Fresh takes on old themes and creative action sequences. My little brother said "It's good", and he's a man who once sincerely argued that Lord of the Rings could have been better. It's fun and punchy violence with just enough smart stuff to not let your brain get bored
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I know we're all blown away by David and Michael's performances in the finale, but I don't think we're talking enough about how realistic it was.
It was incredible, but it was also so fucking realistic. Something you don't see even class A actors do.
The way Crowley had to pause, look up, as if expecting something, someone, to give him the words, the strength because he was losing it with every sentence. The way he looks up because he can't look at Aziraphale otherwise he'll break down. The way he can't catch his breath because his heart is beating so fast and he needs a few seconds to collect himself. The way you can actually feel that lump in your throat whenever you're close to tears, the one that pushes up when your eyes are losing their capacity to hold back tears, when he breaks off and let's out that desperate sound. The way he looks away immediately afterwards. The way he starts fumbling for words when he mentions Bee and Gabriel because panick is taking in and all his concentration is focused on not crying and not being able to form sentences and collect his thoughts. Then lamely ending it with "you and me, what do you say?" Because he can't physically talk anymore even though he has so much more to say, to confess, but he can't.
And then being absolutely wrecked with Aziraphale's "I need you" the moment he sees he's not the only one on the brink of crying, that it's mutual, that they both feel like this.
The entire scene wasn't acted out dramatically or over doing it, as if they were in some american teenage drama, it was realistic, it was how real people would handle the situation and how real people would feel and act in real life. It was fucking amazing
#good omens#goodomens#goodomenss2#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#good omens 2#aziracrow#good omens season 2#goodomenss2spoilers#david tennant#michael sheen
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The Love Triangle from Hell (1)
Steve Harrington x F!Reader / Eddie Munson x F!Reader
Synopsis: Nancy is with Jonathan; Steve is still in love with Nancy; You're in love with Steve; Eddie's in love with you; Robin just wanted to have a movie night but everyone is making it weird.
Word Count: 3.4k
Warnings: messy messy feelings; unrequited love; cursing; arguments; crying; angst angst angsty angst; drinking; Robin literally just trying to live her life but her friends are all idiots
A/N: I'm going to let y'all decide who our reader ends up with for this one- please let me know who you think our reader should pick! I think this will be another 5 part series. Please let me know what you think! Comments and reblogs and hitting up my asks are always so so so appreciated.
This series with be 18+ in later chapters MINORS DNI
It was always Nancy. No matter what it always came back to Nancy. It happened over and over and over like a broken record. Like a glutton for punishment, you always went back for more thinking to yourself this time it’s going to be different. Squished on the lumpy loveseat with Robin, you watch Steve as he watches Nancy. You were pathetic and you knew it. Hopelessly in love with someone who’d never in a million years look at you the way he’s looking at her.
Eddie sits on the floor between your legs with his back rested against the front of the couch as you aimlessly braid his hair. You run your fingers through his hair, carefully navigating through the tangles. You pull strains and weave them together without needing to think about it- you’ve done it a million times before. Eddie would let you do whatever you wanted, he loved the feeling of your hands in his hair. He’d lean his head back as far as he could manage, and shoot you an upside down smile. It always made you giggle before you would use your palm to gently put his head back into place.
It was quite a sight for Robin, like the most fucked daytime drama never written, if she knew how to read the room and pick up on the very obvious clues before her. Steve, her platonic soulmate and best friend, pining over his ex-girlfriend while you, her other best friend, pine over Steve and all the while Eddie, Steve’s roommate and your other best friend, pines over you. It was enough to make her sick. All the while, Nancy is completely oblivious as she checks her watch, waiting expectantly for Jonathan- her actual boyfriend- to arrive. Despite the mess before her, Robin was none the wiser.
She knew Steve was still hung up on Nancy, because he never shut up about her during their shifts. However, you felt you kept your lovesick crush on Steve under pretty good wraps. Unfortunately, Eddie was so preoccupied with you that he felt it every time your eyes were on Steve or he’d witnessed all the small things you’d do that convinced him you actually liked Steve.
He’d watch as you couldn’t make eye contact with Steve, looking everywhere but him when he spoke. He’d watch the way you’d steal glances at him when you thought no one else was looking. He’d see the way you’d take a deep breath to compose yourself when you’d see Steve looking at Nancy. The same way you’d break your own heart looking around for Steve, he’d be doing the same looking at you watching him.
You’d watched one too many movies where the guy realizes the right girl all along was his best friend. You thought if you were patient, Steve would realize he’d been in love with you the whole time and he never realized it. If you’re there for him in his times of heartbreak, he’d see that you’re so much better for him than anyone else. He’d see you, really see you, and know you were the one who was always there.
“This movie doesn’t make any sense,” Robin said suddenly before reaching for the bowl of popcorn at the coffee table.
“Anthony Michael Hall is making a robot girlfriend because he can’t get girls,” Steve explains, coming off a little perturbed that Robin was talking during the movie again.
“They could’ve just asked out a couple of more girls- they didn’t need to let their end all be all be two girls with boyfriends,” she continues and Steve scoffs. He couldn’t believe he was really about to have a debate on realism with Robin right now over fucking Weird Science.
“This’ll actually happen one day,” Eddie muses and is met with four heads whipping around to give him the same weird look. “You’re telling me that like fifty years from now, no one will have this figured out? AV geeks are desperate enough- Ow!” You’d hit him playfully on the back of the head.
“You’re not one to criticize anyone for being desperate, Munson,” Steve chuckles and Eddie promptly flips him off. “You don’t exactly have them lining up for you either.”
“It’s been a pretty dry few years yourself King Steve,” Eddie mocks, and you see Steve crack his knuckles nervously, hating the conversation going down this road. No one meant for it to happen, but now you’re all wrapped up reflecting in your own loneliness that the mood of the evening was almost completely dampened.
“Can you guys be quiet,” Nancy chastises, “Some of us are trying to actually watch the movie.”
“You cannot be serious?” Robin giggles, “It’s a stupid movie, Nance.”
The night took a weird shift. Jonathan did eventually stroll in and Nancy was understandably hurt that he was so late. He pulled a kitchen chair over to sit next to where Nancy sat but she promptly decided to ignore him, silently stewing instead of causing a scene. Steve recoiled back into his own head- Eddie’s King Steve comment affecting him more than he thought it would. He watched Anthony Michael Hall and kept wondering if this would be his fate- no bitches. Had he really been that guy to have peaked in high school and then is destined to end up alone?
Steve’s comment towards Eddie made him also get lost in his own stream of self deprecating thoughts. He knew Steve was joking- but there was truth to it that made it sting. Eddie didn’t have a lot of experience with girls, most girls- hell including the one he was actually in love with- wanted really nothing to do with him. He wasn’t that guy. Girls didn’t look at him like that like they looked at Steve- how you looked at Steve. It made him jealous and sad and made him feel so painstakingly lonely despite being in a room full of his closest friends as you played with his hair. He could scream.
And as usual, you preoccupied yourself with Steve- thinking about what Steve could be thinking about or watching the way Steve anxiously rubbed his palms against his jeans. Was Steve thinking about Nancy? Maybe, just maybe, you could catch him looking at you, even if just once. Maybe Steve would get up and go to the kitchen, and it could be an opening for you to check in with him since he’s seemed off tonight. You felt hopeless.
Robin just assumed most people were quiet because they genuinely were watching the movie, but she realized something was wrong when she was the only person laughing. It couldn’t be that she was the only one who wanted to crack jokes or laugh at this godforsaken movie. She eventually caught on to something brewing in the air amongst her friends and it was incredibly unsettling.
“GOD! I can’t take it anymore!” She exclaims, and everyone jumps. “What is wrong with everybody tonight? You all are acting so effing weird and I can’t stand it.”
“Everyone’s fine, Robin,” you offer, trying to diffuse the tension. She shooks you a look. A “do you think I’m fucking stupid” look that could kill. Fair enough, you think to yourself.
“Clearly something is wrong,” she reiterates. Annoyed with Nancy, Jonathan takes the bait and casts the first stone.
“I don’t know,” Jonathan muses, looking at Nancy before letting out his irritation, “Might have to do with the fact you hang around with your ex all the time- and it’s clearly obvious he still has feelings for you.”
Nancy gasps, offended that Jonathan would bring a fight that they’d had before into the room for everyone to comment on. Jonathan knew how Steve felt, and Nancy’s refusal to acknowledge his concerns on numerous occasions has finally made Jonathan hit his breaking point. He needed her to realize that he wasn’t jealous of Steve- but Steve was jealous of him. Nancy denied that Steve still held feelings for her. She was actually oblivious.
“Steve and I are just friends!” Nancy insists, “I have told you that and told you that! It’s like you don’t trust me!”
“I don’t trust him!” Jonathan emphasizes. “Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, he still likes you and you still keep hanging around with him when you’re supposed to be with me, Nance.”
“I am with you! I’m your girlfriend, not his,” she snaps. “Steve, come on, please tell him he’s being ridiculous.”
Most unfortunately, Steve stutters. He hesitates and fumbles, and couldn’t lie fast enough. The pregnant seconds where he’s at a loss for words tells Jonathan everything he needs to know. It doesn’t feel good to know he was right.
“Sounds about right,” Jonathan scoffs.
“It’s not her fault-” Steve tried to interject.
“Stay out of it Steve,” Jonathan sighs, “please.”
This fight was not about Steve, and everyone knew it. This was about Jonathan, and the way he hurt when Nancy dismissed his feelings. It was about how she didn’t take his concerns seriously or ever was willing to talk about it. He was sick of being dismissed as paranoid or jealous. He knew Nancy had no idea how Steve felt, but it wasn’t an excuse to inadvertently gaslight him when he knew something felt off.
“I’m going home,” Nancy says, sitting up suddenly in hopes of making a swift exit to save her pride.
“Nope!” Robin interjects, “We aren’t done. I’m not letting any of you leave until all of it is out in the open. I can’t go on like this. You guys are my best friends and we are working all of this shit out.” She takes a steady breath and Nancy surprisingly sits back down calmly. “So props to Jonathan for getting the ball rolling,” Robin quips, “let’s actually keep talking things out, yeah?”
“Steve?” Nancy looks at him, and she looks hurt. She feels so betrayed- like all of the times they’ve spent together as friends has been a lie. A ruse to win her back- she feels lied to and like she’s simultaneously lost a friend in the same breath. It guts her. She’s too stunned to even know what to say.
Steve keeps his head down, too ashamed to look at anyone. He holds his head in his hands. You watch him intently, you absorb all his hurt like a sponge. You keep your gaze on him, wanting to reach out and comfort him. You look like a puppy who's been hit on the nose with a newspaper and Eddie scoffs.
“Something you’d like to share with the class, Munson?” Robin turns, picking up on Eddie’s disgust. He shakes his head and avoids her knowing gaze. Fuck it, he thinks to himself.
“I’m fucking pissed,” Eddie announces, standing up. The braid you were in the process of making slowly unravels as he moves. He looks to you and then to Steve. “I’m not even pissed at anyone, I’m just stewing in my own self-hatred because I’m in love with her.” Eddie points to you dramatically, not even realizing how much he’s revealing as his emotions get the best of him. “But she’s so in love with you,” Eddie points a finger at Steve, “That she doesn’t even notice me.”
“I don’t even blame anyone- of course you love Steve, you know? It just fucking sucks because I watch you and you’re always watching him and you keep hoping he’s going to see you and he never does. Meanwhile, I’m so in love with you that it physically hurts and I can never tell you because you’re my best friend and Steve is my best friend. And if you like her back, Steve, you should go for it. I can’t even put myself out there cause scenario one, I lose you,” Eddie gestures to you. “Scenario two- Steve gets his head out of his ass and you two finally get together. I lose both of you, because I can’t put myself through watching someone I’m in love with be with someone else. Or scenario three- you and I do get together and I’m all in- I swear to god, I would be all fucking in. But would you ever even love me as much as you’ve loved him? I don’t know.”
It’s your turn to be stunned. For the first time, Steve’s looking at you and it’s not at all what you hoped it would be. You recognize the look in his eye, it’s the same way Nancy was just looking at him. Pity. You know then and there that Steve never once thought about you the way you hoped he secretly did. It was all made up in your head. Eddie looks defeated, and mortified all at the same time. He shocked himself at his outburst. He’d always been one for dramatics but never at your expense. He feels so guilt ridden that he could shrivel up and let the world swallow him whole.
“I, uh, need to get some air,” you say. You grab your jacket from the hook and slide on your shoes in one fluid motion. “I’ll be back,” you say quickly, slamming the door behind you as you left Eddie and Steve’s apartment. You can’t help as the tears stream down your face uncontrollably. It’s one of those cries where it’s so hard you can’t even make noise as it takes all of your breath away. You’re practically doubled over in the midst of a panic attack when Eddie finds you leaning against the building.
“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he says earnestly, “That was so fucked up. I am so, so sorry. That wasn’t fair to you, that was such a shitty thing for me to say.”
You manage to nod to let him know you heard him, but you’re blubbering and you’re still struggling to get your breath back. Hiccuped breaths finally catch up to you and you feel your lungs slowly begin to refill with air. The night’s cold air helps to clear your sinuses in one big breath. You wipe your face with the sleeves of your jacket. You can’t bring yourself to look at him just yet.
“Steve is so lucky,” Eddie says after another few moments of silence. “To be loved by you?” He chuckles, taking a lean on the wall next to you. “Lucky bastard,” he jokes, and you manage a forced smile through the tears. “Must be the best damn thing in the whole world and he doesn’t even realize it,” he continues more seriously. “Well, until now, when I ruined everything,” he finalizes, sheepishly.
“I’m sorry I didn’t realize it either,” you mumble, “God, what Steve was doing to me- I was doing to you? Fuck.”
“Fucked up, right?” he teases. “How’s it feel, heartbreaker?”
“Really, really shitty,” you settle on and he laughs.
“Yup,” he agrees, making a pop sound at the end. “Really, really shitty. Indeed.”
“God, I wasted so much fucking time,” you admit to yourself.
“I didn’t mean it,” he says softly, helping fix the collar of your jacket. It was tucked in because you put it on so fast and didn’t bother to fix it. “That I wouldn’t be able to trust you with Steve or whatever if we hypothetically got together or whatever- it was just a really, really ugly insecurity that bubbled up. If after this all blows over and you don’t completely hate my guts, and maybe by some miracle you wanted to give us a chance, I wouldn’t hold your feelings for Steve over you like that.”
“Did you mean it that I’d lose you?” you ask, looking to him. He shakes his head.
“I was talking out of my ass,” he admits, “I was emotional and just letting my frustration get the better of me. I won’t stop being your friend if you don’t like me back.”
“I’ve been doing that already,” he jokes and you swat his arm.
“Not funny,” you grumble, but you can’t find it in you to actually be upset.
“I don’t want an answer from you now,” he says, shifting back to a serious tone, but you can hear how nervous he is. “But if and when you get over Steve, and you realize I’m not that bad to look at- maybe you and I could go out sometime. I’m putting the ball in your court. I just want you to be happy. If you end up with Steve, I’m your best man. You end up with me, I’ll work my hardest every damn day to make you so fucking happy. No matter what, I will be your friend. You aren’t losing me.”
“Thank you,” you smile, and you pull him into a hug. You finally start to feel okay again. You feel like you could get over Steve, but then you remember that everyone inside is waiting for you- including Steve. The anxiety begins to stir and you can’t imagine facing everyone now after all of this.
“I got you,” Eddie whispers, taking your hand, “We’ll go back together.”
Eddie’s held your hand a million times before, but it wasn’t until now that you realize how well your hand fits in his. You shake your head to erase the thought from your mind for now and try to relax. The walk back up to the apartment is much longer than it’s ever felt before.
No one says anything when you both come back. You and Eddie kick off your shoes and he helps you take your jacket off. You sniffle, and quickly take your seat back on the loveseat. Eddie slips into the kitchen and grabs a six pack from the fridge. He holds it up like a fish he’s just caught triumphantly.
“I think we all need one, yeah?” He jokes and he diffuses the tension as everyone agrees in tandem. He pulls them apart from the plastic ring, tossing them out. He throws you a wink when he tosses you yours and you can’t help but smile.
“Can I just say,” Robin says, “Had I known you all were upset about actually serious stuff- I wouldn’t have opened this can of worms. I thought you were just pissed at each other about the comments about not getting laid.”
Nancy and Jonathan must have made up while you were outside because instead of separate seats, Jonathan sat on the living room chair and Nancy was perched on his lap. Steve was just watching you. Suddenly, it didn’t matter that Nancy was there. He was fixated on looking at you. He was taking in everything about you like he was looking at you, really looking at you for the first time.
Fuck, if you weren’t beautiful, Steve thinks. He always knew you were, but he never really thought about it until now. Even after crying, you just look so pretty. He’s pained knowing he’s caused you so much pain. He looks to Eddie and feels jealousy rise irrationally. He’s jealous of Eddie for realizing how perfect you were before he did. It’s so fucking petty and he knows it. Eddie’s had all this time to adore you, while he’s squandered it following around Nancy like a simp. He’s loved you and lost you in the same fucking night.
“Let’s keep going,” Eddie jokes, trying to make light of the situation, “Air out more grievances- Buckley, you need new shoes. Those fucking chucks are abhorrent- please, get new ones. They are why your back hurts all the time.”
“Okay, Mr. Same White Reeboks Since Senior Year,” she taunts, feigning offense to his jab. “Keep my converse out of your mouth!”
“I have boots now,” he says, pointing to the leather boots by the door. “Much more metal.”
“Cause it’s fucking January, Eddie,” Robin says with a laugh, “Of course you’re wearing fucking boots.”
“Yet you strolled into my house wearing Converse,” he says walking over the the floor and pointing at Robin’s worse for wear Chuck Taylors. “It was snowing this morning, Robin! Please, as your friend- please let ME get you new shoes.”
“You can pry those shoes off of me when I’m dead,” she raises her voice. The lighthearted air has returned to the evening. It felt like it had been salvaged for now. Everyone seemed to be feeling better, except Steve. As the world began to pick up again, he was paralyzed- burdened with the knowledge of your feelings for him and knowing he might be too late to do anything about it. Was it?
PART TWO
#eddie munson#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fanfic#x reader#steve harrington x f!reader#steve harrington x reader#angst#steve harrington angst#eddie munson angst#stranger things#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fan fiction#eddie munson x y/n#steve harrington x y/n#eddie munson x fem!reader#steve harrington x fem!reader#love triangle#fan fiction#eddie x reader#steve x reader#stranger things x reader#joe keery characters#joe quinn characters#stranger things fic#eddie munson fan fiction#steve harrington fan fiction#eventual smut
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Pls give recommendations for Odd books 🙏
Here we go, a list of literary oddity :) This post contains majestic spheres, alien taxonomies, cruel subway polytheism, a fourth-dimensional cat, disturbing earthworms, infinite space football, existential mussel terror, a Parisian absurdist time loop, and a picture of a telegraph-pole-man-cheetah. I'm not exactly recommending these books, in the sense that I won't take any complaints if you find them more odd than good, and some of them transcend the concepts of good and bad anyway.
• The Other City, Michal Ajvaz. It's all like this:
• Contes du demi-sommeil, Marcel Béalu ('Half-asleep tales') —is the book that prompted my post about stories that have no ambition or justification beyond being odd. I'm sad that it hasn't been translated :( One of the tales is about a strange opaline sphere that rolls on the road. It doesn't accelerate when the road becomes a steep slope but continues rolling majestically. At one point it floats away towards the sky. Someone wonders if it was the moon. Someone else says authoritatively "It was an angel's egg." Everyone is reassured by this explanation. The whole thing feels exactly like remembering a dream you had. There is also a man who reads too much and whose body atrophies so only his head is left and his wife puts it in an egg cup for better stability.
• Leonora Carrington— The Skeleton's Holiday, or maybe the Hearing Trumpet. I've read them so long ago but I think the latter is the one with the old ladies and nuns? There's also a guy who was murdered in his bath by a still-life painter because he said there was a carrot in one of his paintings, but it might not have been a carrot? It's hard to remember details from this book without feeling like I might be making them up. Bonus Leonora Carrington painting which kind of feels like a short story:
• The Codex Seraphinianus, of course. I wish there were more bizarre encyclopaedias out there.
Also I love this review:
• Sleep Has His House, Anna Kavan —I really liked the way this book used language; making life feel like a fever dream even more than in Samanta Schweblin's Fever Dream (which I really liked too.)
The eye is checking a record of silence, space; a nightmare, every horror of this world in its frigid and blank neutrality. The actual scope of its orbit depends on the individual concept of desolation, but approximate symbols are suggested in long roving perspectives of ocean, black swelled, in slow undulation, each whaleback swell plated in armour-hard brilliance with the moonlight clanking along it . . .
• The second half of Michael Ende's Neverending Story, where things get stranger! I remember the hand-shaped castle with eyes and the city of amnesiac former emperors and the miserable ugly worms who cry all the time out of shame then create beautiful architecture with their tears...
• The Gray House, Mariam Petrosyan. This is the one I had in mind when I talked about a 'museum of the strange, but one you wouldn't want to be trapped in after closing time'. Another book that made me feel uncomfortable in a similar (good) way was Edward Carey's Observatory Mansions, the protagonist of which is a man who curates an odd private museum and can't stand the sight of his own hands.
• Oh, speaking of uncomfortable, and hands—He Digs A Hole, by Danger Slater. To me this book was in the more-odd-than-good category but I liked its refusal to have a coherent philosophical meaning. It's about a man who can't sleep so he goes to his garden shed and saws off his hands and replaces them with gardening tools. Then he starts digging a hole. And then it gets weird. (Read at your own discretion if you have a worm phobia; there's some body horror featuring sexually aggressive earthworms. And then it gets disturbing.)
• 17776 — Someone sent me an ask a few years back to recommend this online multimedia narrative to me and I really enjoyed it! Here's the summary, borrowed from the wiki page: Set in the distant future in which all humans have become immortal and infertile, the series follows three sapient space probes that watch humanity play an evolved form of American football in which games can be played for millennia over distances of thousands of miles. The work explores themes of consciousness, hope, despair, and why humans play sports.
• Saint-Glinglin, Raymond Queneau —the author admitted that this book presents some "internal discontinuities." I didn't like it much but I respect the talent it takes to write a novel where everything feels like a random digression, including the key suspenseful scene that matters to the plot. The one digression I loved had to do with the way the narrator is existentially horrified by various sea creatures. It's like he dreads them so much he can't help but think about them when he should be telling a story.
The oyster... This gob of phlegm, this brutal way of refusing the outside world, this absolute isolation, and this disease: the pearl... If I conceptualise them even a little, my terror starts anew. The mussel is even more significant than the oyster and even more immediately admissible in the domain of terror. Let us indeed consider that this little sticky mass whose collective stupidity haunts our piers, consider that it is alive in the same way as a cow. Because there are no degrees in life. There is no more or less. The whole of life is present in every animal. To think that the mussel, that the mussel has, not a conscience, but a certain way of transcending itself: here I am once again plunged into abysses of anxiety and insecurity.
Near the beginning he philosophises about what would happen if a man and a lobster were the only two survivors of the apocalypse. The lobster would break the man's toe and the man would say, "We are the only beings that remain on this devastated Earth, lobster! The only living beings in the universe, struggling alone against the universal disaster, don't you want to be allies?" But the lobster would disdainfully walk away towards the ocean, and "the sight of the inflexible and imperturbable lobster pierces the sky of humanity with its unintelligible claws." (I can't overstate how little this has to do with the rest of the book.)
• Autumn in Beijing, Boris Vian —needless to say the story does not take place in autumn nor in Beijing.* To the extent that it can be said to be "about" something, it's about people trying to build a train station in a desert with tracks that lead nowhere. (I just went on goodreads to check the title, and it's actually called Autumn in Peking in English. I also discovered that it was featured in a list of Books I Regret Reading. I liked this book, but I understand.)
(* French writers love doing this—like when Alphonse Allais said about his 1893 book The Squadron's Umbrella "I chose this title because there aren't any umbrellas of any sort in this volume, and the important notion of the squadron, as a unit of the armed forces, is never brought up at all; in these conditions, hesitating would have been pure madness.")
• The Library at Mount Char, Scott Hawkins—I fear this one makes a little too much sense for this list, but you can't say it isn't weird; and I loved it and recommend it any chance I get.
• The Eleven Million Mile High Dancer, Carol Hill —this book was so wacky and made me laugh. I've not yet managed to successfully recommend it to someone; its brand of odd didn't resonate with the people I know who've read it but that's okay. You could say it's about a woman astronaut whose weird cat disappears into the fourth dimension (or the quantum realm?) and she goes to space to save him—but that makes the book sound more straightforward and less messy than it is. Her cat leaves her a note before he disappears:
• The Bald Soprano, Ionesco —fun fact, there's a tiny theatre in the Latin Quarter in Paris where this absurdist play has been staged every night for nearly 70 years, with the exact same set design and costumes and everything, like the actors are stuck in a time loop. They celebrated the 20,000th performance this year! There's an actress who has been playing her character for 40 years and said joining this theatre was like joining a religion. I've been going to see this play as a New Year tradition with my best friend since we were 14, so I love it madly, though I wouldn't say it's good, necessarily—the author said it was about "absolutely nothing, but a superior nothing."
• Statuary Gardens; or Les Mers perdues (apparently not translated) by Jacques Abeille. This man is obsessed with weird statues. Unfortunately I find his writing style rather dull—I feel like he takes strange ideas and makes them feel mundane in a bad way...! But his books still have a nice, quiet, oneiric atmosphere, and images that stayed with me, like a solitary gardener trying to grow stone statues in the depleted soil of a walled garden. Here are some illustrations from the second one:
I'll look into some of the books recommended on my previous post! (and I agree with the people who brought up Cortázar, Borges, and Junji Ito. <3) Some potentially-odd books I have on my to-read list: Clive Barker's Abarat, Goran Petrović's An Atlas Traced by the Sky, Salvador Plascencia's The People of Paper, Jean Ray's Malpertuis; Jan Weiss's The House of a Thousand Floors; Brice Tarvel's Pierre-Fendre.
#ask#book recs#i know i've made some of these sound barely readable but it would be risky to oversell them#it's funny how indignant i felt when i first thought that saint-glinglin didn't exist in english translation even though objectively it#wouldn't have been a huge loss and i don't think english speakers are clamouring for more crustacean existentialism after sartre's lobsters#but they should get to choose not to read this book!
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