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[iniyaas]

I have to sleep to function properly today, I can't sleep though

This is really stupid, really really really stupid,

It isn't about the ship, I can accept that,

But I don't understand how the buildup can lead up to this... It's pretty terrible in my opinion. So I hope this is another attempt to mislead and confuse the readers since anime S2 is still airing but who knows,

What I feel about this story is that they should NOT make what Ai wanted to have be left in vain. She wanted to love someone, it shouldn't look bad. It leaves a bad taste if it results in a way that tells, 'oh, she loved the wrong person. Her "fans" were maniacs who ended up killing her.'

If the story heads like this, it makes me think it'd have been really better for her sake if she's never met that boy she cared so much for, she could have met someone different, who's way less insane and built a happy family after she settled as an adult. It's never Ai's fault that he turned out to be such a maniac, but I don't see the point of making a girl who genuinely wanted to love people be entangled with such a person. Why would the author do that to her?; and hikaru's past was TERRIBLE... Why.. Use a character like that to make him a serial killer with insane logic most people with the right minds will not be able to resonate to... It leaves a really bad taste to me because, not only it doesn't add up so much for me... It's cruel. I mean people with bad pasts can turn out to be criminals, sure. But was making his past so full of suffering really something that necessary, because I still feel terrible seeing what's happened to him. I would understand if it was something that added to his psychology and characterization, but he didn't need to be like this if he only amounts to what the crow god speaks of him.

I think this should be a story where it tells you that, people, regardless of what industry they work in, are all people with hearts and should be able to find love.. I think that was one of the core themes of Ai's character, so I'd like her to have that. So I'm a bit confused on just what they want to do with this story, but let's wait a few more chapters and see how it will go and what conclusion this will eventually have.

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just saw it and thought about them

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Ch 161~

Can't draw so much during the week..!

More commentary about 161..

I'm actually convinced Fatal and Mephisto should be Kamiki's song?? I think some things hint of it.

and that he DOES really care about Aqua.

and that he does have to do with Sarutahiko, Amenouzume's husband(although this part is a speculation)

More stuff in the read more:

(first written in another language and chatGPT helped me translate it... I can't write things like this twice ;v; it's a great world here. so convenient~)

Honestly, it's frustrating and a bit agonizing; what is this even about? The plot is stressful, but...

Still, being able to focus like this... I guess it’s a good thing to find a work that hooks you and makes you think deeply in some way.

LOL, it also means I’m living a life where I have enough time to care about a manga, even though I’m currently in a pretty tough spot.

This manga, whether it's in a good or bad direction, seems to be driving me crazy in its own way.

If I’m disappointed, I can always go read something else, (I even got permission from someone to draw a Persona fanfic fanart, but I’ve been too hooked on this manga to do it.. that fanfic was so good.. I need to do it sooner or later..).

But I was so confident about my analyses. Like, really... I’m usually good at picking up on these kinds of things? This manga is great at psychological portrayal, and it was amusing to analyze that, There are just too many things sticking out for me, and things feel uneasy.

It’s not about the pairing... It just keeps bothering me... Am I really missing the mark on this? I’m usually good at sensing these things...

Without the movie arc, this development would be fine, but that arc is sandwiched in there, and I interpreted the character based on that too...

Honestly, every time I listen to the songs, I get this strong feeling like, "This isn’t Aqua." The kind of emotions in these songs, it's not him that's singing them. It's the dad. I immediately posted about it when I first heard it in July. As soon as I heard it, I thought, "This is it," and got a gut feeling.

I really want to feel that emotion again.

Even if Kamiki does turn out to be a serial killer, I still think these songs could describe his inner state.

I think we’ll get some explanation in the next five chapters or so, even if it takes a bit longer.

Also, the expression Kamiki makes when Aqua stabs him is so genuine. Until that moment, he had been smiling, but...

If that expression was because he suddenly felt threatened with his life, it’s a bit pathetic. But... I don’t think that’s the case. What I really pay attention to are the emotional flow and expressions.

When Aqua says he wants to watch Ruby perform, the smile on Kamiki’s face... it’s soft. That’s... definitely a look of affection. It’s not like, “Oh, I've won him over!” or, “Yes, I’ve convinced him!” I interpreted it as Kamiki having paternal love, and there was a scene that backed up that idea earlier. I’m sure he really likes Aqua.

That’s not a bad expression. It’s more like, "Yeah, you wish to see Ruby, don't you. Go ahead, watch her. Keep living" (Which makes me wonder, is he really planning to harm Ruby? If he harms her, maybe he plans to do it after the Dome performance? But even that doesn’t make sense. Does that mean Aqua would have to come back to stab him AGAIN after that takes place?? Does it really add up to his logic for telling him to go watch her?)

Aqua says Kamiki will destroy Ruby’s future, but...

How exactly is he going to do that? Hasn't this guy literally done nothing? If they're talking about the Dome performance, at least that should go off without a hitch, right? So at least until then, Ruby would be safe?? So, Kamiki isn't planning to harm Ruby now at least, right? Even with that weird.. logic that he proposes (I hope he's lying about that tbh)

Then when Aqua smiles and says something like, "Haha, but I’ll just kill you and die with you," while pointing the knife at him again...

Kamiki’s expression at that moment really stands out, and it’s not like a twisted look of being frustrated about things not going his way. It’s not anger or annoyance he's feeling. It’s the same shocked and despairing expression we saw in chapters 146 and 153.

Aqua seems to have no clue what kind of person his father really is, huh? He can’t read him at all.

Honestly, from the way Kamiki speaks, I get the impression that he’s actually quite kind. He’s not saying anything too wrong.

Remember the scene where Ruby gets angry because people were talking carelessly about Ai’s death? Kamiki probably knows about that too. I think Aqua and Ai, and Ruby and Kamiki, are quite alike in nature. Kamiki might’ve felt a lot of grief over Ai at that time. I do believe he loved Ai.

The phrase, "People don’t want the truth," is pretty painful, especially if you think about Ai. That’s why Ai lived telling lies. Isn't Kamiki thinking about what's happened to her, then? By bringing that up? He should have felt it, loving/watching a person like her and what unfolded.. Ai died because of the truth that she had kids with him. Ugly fans like Ryosuke and Nino couldn't take her being less than perfect. Wouldn't this have hurt Kamiki too? The fact that they loved each other(At least Ai did genuinely, we know that) was unwanted. People could not accept that, and that's one of the reasons why they had to break up.

From the way Kamiki talks, it feels like he genuinely doesn’t want his son or daughter to go through that kind of pain.

I think Kamiki has a pretty good nature. When you look at how he speaks, it’s gentle, and he seems to genuinely care about Aqua and knows a lot about him. Maybe he’s been watching over him from afar for a long time? He probably even knows who his son has feelings for.

It really feels like Kamiki is trying to persuade him: "I’m fine with dying. But you, you have so many reasons to live, right? Shouldn’t you return to the people you care about?"

And, the way Kamiki reacts after Aqua stabs him also shows it. He’s visibly agitated afterward. His expression noticeably shifts to panic and darkness.

Wait... stop it, don’t do this! That’s what he says.

The way he’s talking to Aqua in that moment.

It’s not like, “How dare you?” but more like, “Aqua, please don’t do this.”

It really seems like he doesn’t want Aqua to die.

He’s really shocked by it.

From his expressions, he seems more shocked by Aqua getting stabbed than by his own fall, like he didn’t even know how to react properly. He's being grabbed onto but he isn't looking at the hands that are grabbing him, his line of sight is on Aqua there

The final expression he makes can seem really pathetic, but...

Oh man, I think that’s the truth of that situation.

And it makes sense because Ai dreamed of raising her kids with this guy. I think he could’ve been a really great father who adored his kids... at least until the point they separated. He was just really young back then.

Doesn’t this guy really love his kids? Even without the movie arc, there have been hints of his concern for them.

I’m not trying to interpret him kindly just because I particularly like or find this character attractive.

If he’s a serial killer psychopath, then yeah, he should die here. When I first got spoiled, my reaction was completely merciless. "Well, he should die if he's like that," I said. But...

I don’t think that’s the case. It really seems like he cares about Aqua.

Oh, and Kamiki’s soul being noble in the past is mentioned, right?

So, he was a good person before?

Well, I guess I wasn’t totally off in reading his character? LOL.

Does that mean he could be a fallen god?(could be a stretch, but there IS a lyric in fatal about fallenness!!!)

Sarutahiko is often described as a "noble" and "just" god, so it’s quite possible that Kamiki’s true nature is based on Sarutahiko, the husband of Ame-no-Uzume = Ai.

That couple was very affectionate, and according to the Aratate Shrine description, they even go as far as blessing marital relationships. Those gods really love each other. In that case, Ai being so fond and loving of Hikaru also makes sense. It could explain why she asked her kids to save him...

So, can't “Fatal” be his song? Maybe he’s fallen from grace?

The lyrics in "Fatal" say things like, "What should I use to fill in what’s missing?" Could that be about human lives? But did he really kill people? How can you save someone after that? That’s why I don’t think he went that far.

"Without you, I cannot live anymore"

“I would sacrifice anything for you”

This isn’t Aqua. This is Kamiki.

Would Aqua do that much for Ai? He shouldn’t be so blind.

When I listened to "Fatal," I immediately thought of "Mephisto" because the two songs are so similar in context.

They’re sung by the same narrator, aren’t they? That made it clear what Kamiki’s purpose was, which is why I started drawing so much about him and Ai after that.

He keeps saying he’ll give up his life and that he wants to see Ai again. This isn’t Aqua! These feelings are different from what Aqua has.

At first, I thought because Ruby = Amaterasu, with Tsukuyomi having shown up, and Aqua perhaps having relations to Susanoo (he’s falling into the sea this time, right? LOL) I wondered if Ai and her boyfriend’s story was based on the major myth of Izanagi and Izanami, since they’re so well-known.

That myth is famous for how the husband tries to save his wife after she dies, though he fails in the end.

The storyline is similar to Mephisto’s, so I thought, "Could this be it?"

And then I realized Sarutahiko and Ame-no-Uzume's lores also fit really well. Ai thinking Kamiki was like a jewel when they first met is similar to how Ame-no-Uzume saw Sarutahiko shining when they first met. Sarutahiko guiding Ame-no-Uzume is similar to how Hikaru taught Ai how to act. They even had descendants that have a title that means "maiden who's good at dancing" The two also fell for each other at first sight. The shrine the characters visit in the story is supposedly where those two met and married. If they REALLY are those gods in essence, It feels like something went wrong with the wish because one or both of them became twisted.

Anyway, I think Kamiki was originally noble but fell from grace, and it’s likely that Ai’s death was the catalyst.

But I’m not sure if he really went as far as killing people.

What is Tsukuyomi even talking about? I’ve read it several times, and I still don’t fully understand.

I really hope she's wrong because… killing others to make Ai’s name carry more weight? That doesn’t make any sense. What does “the weight of her name” supposed to mean?? I don't think that's something that should be taken just at face value, I feel like there's more behind this idea.

What kind of logic is that? And on top of that, I can’t understand why Ai’s life would become more valuable if Kamiki dies. It just doesn’t follow.

Why would he even say that?

He must be really confident... Does he think he’s someone greater than Ai?

Even so, how does it connect?

I read two books today, because I started wondering if my reading comprehension has dropped. Thankfully, I’m still able to read books just fine. It’s not like I can’t read, you know? I’ve taken media literacy classes and pride myself on not having terrible reading comprehension.

I tried to make sense of what exactly the heck this may mean, and I think.. if it were to mean something like, “I’ll offer my life as a sacrifice to Ai,” I’d at least get that. That kind of logic, in a way, has some practical meaning.

Kamiki talked about sacrifices? tributes? offerings? in chapter 147. I really remember certain scenes clearly because I’ve gone over them carefully. In that case, if Kamiki dies, then the weight or value of his life would transfer to Ai, and that would “help” her, right?

If the story is going in that direction,

when I look at “Mephisto” and “Fatal,” I can see that by doing this, Kamiki would have a chance to either save Ai or get closer to her. At least that makes some sense.

But is it really right for Ai to ask someone to save Kamiki, who killed others? As soon as the idea of it came up, I knew something was up.

Because of what Ai's wanted, I think it’s possible that Kamiki didn’t actually go that far. In the songs, they talk about gathering light and offering something, but they don’t say anything about killing people… Kamiki said he’d sacrifice his own life. People around him may have died, but…

Kamiki’s true personality doesn’t seem like the type to do that… And looking at his actions when Aqua was stabbed??

He hasn’t shown any direct actions yet, so I still don’t know how far he’d actually go.

It’s not that I don’t believe Tsukuyomi’s words entirely,

but I don’t think the conclusion is going to be something like, “Ai should’ve never met Kamiki.”

Every time we see Kamiki’s actual actions, there’s this strange gentleness to him, and that’s what’s confusing me.

The more I look closely, the weirder it feels, and something about it just bothers me. If Kamiki were truly just a completely crazy villain, I’d think, “Oh, so that’s who he is,” and I wouldn’t deny it.

But each time, I start thinking that maybe Ai didn’t meet someone so strange after all? Ai liked him that much, so on that front, it makes sense to me. I want to believe that’s the right conclusion. I mean, doesn’t what he says sound kind? Isn’t he gentle?

No, but seriously, when Kamiki listened to Aqua’s reasons for wanting to live, I thought his expression was warm. It didn’t seem like some calculated expression like “according to plan” like Light Yagami. It felt more like a fond, affectionate expression. I draw too, you know. I pay a lot of attention to expressions. This character often makes expressions that really stand out.

It’s like he’s genuinely trying to convince Aqua not to do anything reckless. Maybe I’m being soft on Kamiki because he’s Ai’s boyfriend? But actually, it’s not like that?

I mean, I’m the type who’s like, “Anyone who did something bad to Ai should die!!” It’s because he’s a character. If this were a real person, I wouldn’t so casually tell someone to go die or say such strong things.

But… he seems like a good person.

+It’s a small thing, but why did Kamiki drop his phone while talking about Ruby? Ppft If you drop it from that height, it’d probably crack. Was he trying to look cool? (It’s an Apple phone, huh.) Is he a bit clumsy? Well... since it looks like him and Aqua are about to fall into the sea, maybe it was a blessing he did so. The phone might be saved after all. If he manages to climb out of there, he could contact someone with that phone.

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this chapter was a piece of art

no, but Kamiki DID understand Ai very well in essence. I get why Ai described him as the first person she's ever wanted to love?? He just got ONE thing off and I don't even think that's entirely his fault either. It cost him everything though.

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Kamiki is such a weird character. I keep talking about him because he's like a puzzle. I want to make sense of him because I'm... really confused when it gets to him. I really enjoy analyzing characters, but I usually don't even feel the need to write things down to figure out their character: for his case though?

There are so many claims about him being a horrible, evil, maniac, a heartless psychopath serial killer selfishly using others for his own gain.

Since he's supposedly the father of the protagonist and who had a relationship with Ai, I look at him intently whenever he makes an appearance, because I get curious just what is UP with this man and see him for myself, and I find that when he ACTUALLY does something, he.. tends to be so mild compared to what he's been thought to be. It's so weird. He's nothing like all those things he's said to be when he shows up in person, so the information I've been given to interpret him and the actual character does not match up. I keep feeling he has a kind nature. I think I believe that more compared to the descriptions he has because... it's what he actually is, you know.

People say he's done things, but we never see it in present tense with him actually carrying out these actions in person. It's all speculation.

You see, the thing is, we NEVER get to see him actually DO things on screen. We still don't know what he's said on the phone with Ai (and it turns out that he probably really didn't say much. I say he really DID want to only just send her the bouquet. Anyhow, Ai doesn't seem that uncomfortable talking to him, and we find she had him in her heart all along.) In that phone call with Nino as well, if you see her reactions, it was about turning themselves in?? How was that supposed to be a trigger to go stab a person? Could he have predicted this? Claims that he's manipulated and caused people to become killers? Well, we see ONE case of it something like it happening right now in 161 OH MY GOD even our main protagonist, Aqua could not escape this weird.. turn of events, and here we see Kamiki ACTUALLY wanting to keep Aqua from trying to kill him/become a murderer for whatever intent he has behind it. Aqua still ends up doing something really reckless. In this case, it's exactly the OPPOSITE result of what Kamiki's desired.

I really feel like he never intends for these things to happen and yet, it does. What is there for him to gain from this??? At least for Ai, Gorou and this current.. 161's case, I don't think he even dreamed of this happening. I don't know about the other cases if there are but, Nino says all he did was "talk", and that must be it... he could have some powers to make people grow insane by just talking maybe, but even if it's so, I think it's happening against his wishes and it's not something he can control.

To add, there really isn't much solid base for these claims he's facing STILL, even till the series reaches its end. Some accusations are being thrown at him, but just how much has ACTUALLY taken place? What's the truth? If he's a murderer, just how many lives did he take? I guess... that could be revealed later but; why.. keep it so hidden if he really is that kind of person? In 160, he says he didn't do anything. What if that's true? Why do we never see him take some direct action, even till the final arc? To be fair, there IS the case of Yura, but even that is very vague. I'll talk about that a little more later.

At this point, I feel like they've never shown these scenes to us BECAUSE that would make for a twist. If things go as expected and he is just a mere serial killer who's killed anyone who surpasses Ai for his self-satisfaction, it wouldn't need to be kept so hidden;; in fact, it should have been revealed more because that'd make this guy a menacing antagonist our heroes must defeat. It would add more drive and flavor and make us want to cheer for Aqua's revenge, but it isn't that way. The twist would be that, he could have really done nothing much.. been pretty sensible all along.

In cases like Nino or Ryosuke, we've seen situations where they expressed hatred, stabbed someone, or did something drastic. We see them being dangerous people.

But with Kamiki, whenever they actually do something, it’s not really a big deal, and they come across as rather gentle. To the point where their actions could even be interpreted as kindness. From what I see, they seem to have a genuinely good nature, and apparently, they used to be like that.

There’s just one thing that bothers me—Yura’s case. Honestly, their reaction back then was really strange. When I look at Kamiki’s behavior patterns, whenever they’re dealing with something overwhelming or hiding their true feelings, they always smile. He says some really weird things and he smiles... anyhow, yeah, he does seem to feel guilt about it...

I mean, if they were going to kill Yura, there wouldn’t be any reason to warn her to 'watch her step,' right? That’s what confuses me. What needs to be cleared up now is this: Ai, Ryosuke, and Gorou—he wasn't responsible for those three deaths at least. So, if this suspicion can be resolved, unless there's solid proof that they’ve killed others, it all just sounds like speculation. Is there anything that’s really been confirmed to be their doing? Tsukuyomi was wrong once already; should I trust her about Kamiki's true motives?

Why do I keep feeling like this person is actually a good person every time they appear? Their actions and the accusations are so different.

It’s starting to feel like, 'Could this kind of person really have killed anyone?' Is this supposed to happen or am I reading this story wrong? But here’s the thing—I think the author and I are on the same wavelength with some things; I’ve guessed so many things correctly...

There’s something more to this. This isn’t the end… It feels too suspicious.

If Kamiki's really, truly bad, I’ll accept it—I’ve already said that they should die if they are. But there’s still something nagging at me. I wouldn't be the only one, right?

A truly bad person with real fault wouldn’t behave this way. Of course, people act in all sorts of ways. But this character… something always feels off, so I can’t be certain.

And honestly, that would make for a better story. In the grander context and message of the narrative, it would be more fitting if this character were actually innocent but wrongly accused over and over. That’s what I think.

Also, the fact that Ai left a message asking someone to help this person… that’s partly why I keep thinking about this. They seem really kind…

It makes sense why Ai might have loved them. I get it. I think this person is actually good.

You see, I didn't hold much thought about the guy and just went along with the claims he faced until I heard "Fatal", and having seen Ai wanting to help the guy. Just three seconds in the song (I didn't even know the lyrics at first) I get this...rush of sensation... it's so hard to describe, but I just knew, this emotion there, that must be his.. and so I started drawing him and Ai a lot. I rarely get these wrong. It was such a strong wave of feelings I got.. I guess that's been one of my biggest fuel for the past few months! I really hope I'm right! I felt very.. stunned and sure back then. It was a very strong type of feeling that anchored my thoughts. I trust my intuition when it comes to emotions, I'm usually good with them! It's hard to ask others to trust with me, but I can write posts like these with the reasoning that stems from those feelings I have along with some evidence I find from the work! I've already stepped too deep into this pit and I'll be so embarrassed if I'm wrong but, at least I had fun. I think I've been learning a lot.. having thought a lot... it's been good practice, trying to read characters- I really want to be good at it! It's fun!

[iniyaas]

Why are some people in this fandom so stupid??? Like wdym "Hikaru rizzed Airi up" or "Hikaru maintains his looks to attract young actresses / idols and kill them"???

Istg @/ddu_45, who draws literal torture porn of the guy, has a better understanding of the character then these.

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ME RN:

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They have made a name for themselves

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the anime has been doing a lot of interesting, anime-original work to build up to both the HKAI dynamic in general and Hikaru himself specifically and this visualization of them in S2E10 is probably the most fascinating so far.

on a first/unspoiled viewing, it reflects Aqua (& Akane's) interpretation of Ai as a victim of a catastrophe, unwittingly consumed and torn apart by a monstrous inhuman force that invaded her life.

But with the knowledge of how that relationship actually played out, several details come into much sharper focus - Ai's total absence of fear or hesitation and the tenderness with which she embraces what looks to the viewer to be a terrifying monster. It is, abstracted into pure visual symbolism, the reality of the HKAI dynamic - someone warped into monstrousness by self loathing and drawn to Ai's radiance, who takes in that pain and, through her compassion, purifies it into uncompromising love.

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That turtle shreds

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I told u idiot 🐈😺

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every new week after having picked up this series I tell myself, 'oh, I won't get spoiled this time, I won't'

but something happens so that I learn about it.

Welp... yeah... dropping this without context...

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oedipus rex

I was oddly reminded of it earlier

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even in her own mind she can't stop getting roasted over an open fire 😭

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Ai is the type that displays her affection and love through physical touch...I'm pretty sure of it at this point

She hugs her little babies a whole lot. I think that actually could be an extension of what she's done for her boyfriend because they were seen hugging a few times in the flashbacks(I thought that was really sweet...)

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kids these days also don't say Kids These Days™ bro 🤣

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I drew something based on this idea I had from earlier!

I'm pretty sure mephisto is his song, not Aqua's...

I think we should try dunking him into the sea, I'm serious... good guy or not, he's REALLY CURSED. Anyhow, I feel someone's bound to fall into these waters soon, whether it be him or Aqua