#traumatized children of Terrasen

[acourtofquestions]

Me: *crying* because HOW DID IT END? fits the TOG series & Aelin WAYYY too well for comfort😅😭

IM SORRY IN ADVANCE IF YOU READ THIS BECAUSE OW! BUT ALSO TAYLOR & SARAH WHY DOES IT FIT SO WELL? AND ALSO WHY BRAIN? — WHY NOTICE?? — OW! OW!! OWW!!! SRY BUT FANGIRL BRAIN GO BRRR😅😭🖤☠️🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsmen — from Dorian & his cold blue yet sweet soul of a good man not a ruthlessly weighted King, the Chaol & his “classic sensibilities”, to Rowan her carranam (her old life burning with it as it all changes for good)

Our maladies were such we could not cure them — Sam😭 they tried to get away, but they were always trapped (by the same thing that caused them to meet), the Assassin’s Keep (it’s called keep for a reason), Arobynn (🖕I hate him so much more by the day😅😂) the “guild”… they couldn’t run far enough even if they’d had the time to try… but they never would🖤

A touch that was my birthright became foreign — LOSING HER MAGIC & parents & home & kingdom & crown (all the times her very being was pried from her; an unfortunately long list… Arobynn… Endovier… Maeve… Erawan… Deanna… it goes on & on💙) and reclaiming it, to have it stolen again (she learns in Wendlyn & and then back to Rifthold with it gone, she unleashes magic only to be drained, gains strength & is possessed by Deanna until she burns out). Plus another “incurable malady” because the power talk she has with Brannon, how it makes her lose them, her, it’s hers but it’s always been her fear too (her parents) it goes on…

Come one, come all, it's happenin' again — her refusing to think Sam is dead, even seeing it, then fighting Rourke for him, and ending up trapped anyway. The King (who killed her family) facing her again, and off to Endovier (pried from her freedom or even a chance). Back to the King to be his butcher, still chased by monsters. Running through the castle to save Chaol from a fate she is screaming to her fear is not true (not again) only to find the letter and go cold & off to slaughter for him again. Running for Nehemia because “this time she would be fast enough”. The look in Rowan’s eyes as he turns to tell her & she begs him not to but Endovier’s people (her people) were slaughtered. “Ellywe is burning”… That crippling ache & fear & rightful paranoia; death always too few steps behind her. The “fate” for her by Elena, Deanna, & Mala… the lock, the key; the love, the losses.

Soon they'll go home to their husbands, Smug 'cause they know they can trust him— the bitter resentment of those who get to have that; trust, family, happiness… something more… something not lost… then when she does, the ache of the world they remain stuck in.

Walking in circles like she was lost — her going to the grave veiled in black as they avoid her grief like a plague

Say it once again with feeling, How the death rattle breathing, Silenced as the soul was leaving, The deflation of our dreaming, Leaving me bereft and reeling, My beloved ghost and me, Sitting in a tree D-Y-I-N-G — I mean this has been Aelin’s entire life, so much feeling so much silence so much screaming, not believing Arobynn, or Dorian, or Chaol, but seeing it. Being forced to take lives, and watch people lose them. Almost having hope, Chaol, or Dorian, or freedom, and then it happens again. The shell of herself and the “death she became”. Her watching the world from the woods on the anniversary…

*I’m in pain now… time to go read…😅😬🤦‍♀️* but hey Who’s Afraaaid of Little Old Me? also works and that’s way more pump-up kick-ass jams😅😂🤣

[acourtofquestions]

A Maasverse note because I think sometimes characters get poorly judged both by other characters, plot lines, & fandom reception (of course this is all fictional… so this post is also purely fiction… and probably has some “fictional world differences” or “rules” to apply… but still😂)

This started with the *sarcastic* “lovely” talk with Darrow about the “people of Terrasen” because the idea of blaming Aelin — who, btw, let the record show was ONLY an EIGHT-YEAR-OLD CHILD!!! — for “abandoning them” when she WAS A CHILD really got on my nerves. Especially as even this conversation is taking place with a 19-year-old… while not 8, and “old enough” in her own right; SHE IS STILL NINETEEN… and if you ask me IF ANYONE did any “abandoning” it was the people of Terrasen who simply went “hmm… we can’t find our queen… oh no! She must have drowned! No need to think further!!! MOVING ON!” meanwhile she was KIDNAPPED, after having her ENTIRE family assassinated IN FRONT OF HER (at EIGHT) and nearly drowning to outrun the assassin trying to KILL HER, & Arobynn was NOT much better; she couldn’t escape (cause SHE WAS EIGHT and with an ACTUAL ASSASSIN) and by the time she had “learned” (been forced into & through traumatic, abusive, horrifying, painful experiences for YEARS) enough to be “allowed” to leave the keep and at all able to even possibly run far enough to somehow get to Terrasen it was already GONE there was nothing left for her to go back to or save, and (even then) she was STILL A CHILD. She came back in under 10 years, barely an adult, she SURVIVED, give the girl some CREDIT PLEASE!!! And yeah, she was an assassin, no it’s not the most moral of jobs (but this is fiction) it was that or death, she went to hell & back (this was NOT some pampered upbringing) and YOUR queen endured it FOR you (and YOU damned her to it, or is it not fair to blame you? Oh, so it isn’t fair to blame y'all… yet the EIGHT-YEAR-OLD is fine?!) and to be honest, from her lineage (which kind of doomed her already) to the state of their world, they may actually NEED/want to have an Assassin as a Queen. Like yeah, she did that, she SURVIVED that, she is capable and smart and can actually lead a war. Can any of you old men gawking at her say the same??? Hmm??? No, you can’t because even though you all saw horrors, we all know the CHILDREN of Terrassen endured the worst; Aedion fought your wars, Elide was also kidnapped (not that any of you care; but it did keep her alive—I guess?), so can we just be glad you all are alive?!? AND LEAVE AELIN BE FOR ONCE, PLEASE! (I’m sure Darrow “has his reasons” and a backstory, but as a general point & issue I really can’t stand it).

wow sorry don’t know what got into me there maybe it is a lil personal?😅😂

Then into one that keeps popping up and bothering me: the argument & anger towards Nesta & Elain. Now while it does have its place (and I have been there too during points of my first read), I also am taking it all into account, and while I’m sorry that they let her go into the woods they were children. Nesta was a CHILD. Elain was a CHILD. (Maybe I don’t know exact ages, but they can’t have been in their 20s & 30s😂). THEY WERE ALL CHILDREN TOO. While Feyre was the youngest, while Feyre deserved safety & protection, while Feyre truly did go through a lot (and the fact she didn’t feel loved is absolutely gut-wrenching and wrong) some of which she may have been able to be spared from… she also wasn’t the only child, freezing, starving, losing parents, and terrified. Even Nesta as the oldest was still a kid. Elain is not that much older than Feyre, and she was a kid too. And yes, Feyre was a child, she was FOURTEEN, she was their little sister, and she was a child too even more. But honestly the truest guilt relies on not the sisters (THREE CHILDREN) but on the ACTUAL ADULTS; their father; who did have his issues & eventually redemption (and yes parents aren’t always capable that does happen; disability, pain, grief, depression, they are beasts), but also he still remains FAR more responsible than Nesta or Elain or even Feyre EVER should have been in the first place. It lies on THE ENTIRE VILLAGE that abandoned them; CHILDREN, whose mother had DIED, whose father was CLEARLY UNWELL, who were freezing & starving (& while the village may have been struggling they COULD have struggled TOGETHER and NOT LEFT CHILDREN to their own); THEY should have been the ones to step up. Not Nesta. Not Elain. Not Feyre. The three sisters were all children. And while any oldest sibling knows we are capable of filling roles, that doesn’t make it right; nor does it make anyone’s brains fully formed… so… like… they literally couldn’t think beyond more sometimes. And yes, while I can’t imagine sending one of my siblings (older or younger) off into the woods alone for any reason (I also could understand going off before they could stop you; I can understand why & how Feyre might’ve without them even knowing; because if it were my family it wouldn’t matter I’d do it, even if someone older was there), but I also can’t pretend it would be oh so easy to keep all four people alive by yourself (to a certain extent Nesta needs to be alive because she is the only “semi-adult” in the first place) and still as a child abandoned by the world (she had her issues too) she was a daughter so sure her father would save them begging for it in agony over it and lost in the world. While I in Nesta’s shoes would NEVER have let Feyre be near anyone during a break in, we don’t know the full story, Nesta may not have had options; she may have just run, grabbed Elain who was close by, and hid because at least she could keep them alive; and she was also a terrified child. And while Elain “went along” in Nesta’s shelter without protest; WHY WOULD’NT SHE? All children crave & deserve protection, safety, kindness, love, she has that in Nesta; why would she run from the only stability she has; especially as the child that lost something else (where Nesta was the favorite & simultaneously resented their mother, and Feyre was the “forgotten” child who never got to be a child or know such a kind of safe love, Elain did which means she knew the loss of it she had a mother to grieve) she was young and terrified and holding on to the only thing she could? And what happened to Feyre was terrible, she was forced to shoulder a burden alone, she also took it on (not blaming her, just saying she also didn’t say anything; because it was survival) and yes, it was wrong. But what happened to Nesta and Elain was also wrong. The three of them were children, and they could have done better, but they did their best and survived. As adults, they have begun healing those wounds. What else can we expect other than accountability from the ACTUAL adults at fault?! *and by actual I mean fictional😂*

The past is past. (To some extent in this context side at least)

So I guess all I’m saying is WHY ARE ALL THESE YA NOVELS BASED ON BABY’s AND TEENAGERs AND WHERE ARE ANYONE's PARENTS (oh wait their all orphans that tracks now) CAUSE I GUESS IT'S THE TROPE 🤦‍♀️ and the next character that gets all political & sexist & “my way or the highway child” during the middle of a WAR by blaming Aelin (or gods forbid poor the more I learn) Aedion for what they did to survive as children during Empire of Storms is going to get my wrath😅😂🤣 and don’t you dare Darrow EVER talk to Lysandra like that again!!! *thank you, Rowan, for protecting them; your family; with pride* (at least the 200-year-old stepped up to the plate😅😅😂… too soon?)

Shoutout to iwantavaldezinator for fandoming with me about the Terrasen issue😂

[acourtofquestions]

EoS Chapter 57:

spoiler “more” bar of safety🙃

— I’m calling this Chapter LORCAN DON’T DIE; wow times have changed😅😅 — Current hope… Can Aelin like double oath him?😂 if Gavriel and Fenrys had 2 opposing blood oaths could she cancel out Maeve’s order? I don’t want them “blood-oathed” to anyone frankly but it feels like a possible short term solution and IDK at this point 🤷‍♀️ — Mostly I just wanna see Elide come home to the Court of Terrasen & have a “traumatized children” now as healing adults moment🥹

“She had imagined Aelin's power, dreamed of how it had shattered the glass castle. She hadn't considered that the reality of seeing it unleashed would make her bones quail in terror.” — always seems to be a mix of awe and horror

— The fact she’s able to read Lorcan really is a gift😂

— Aelin & Rowan fighting over who gets to defend who in stance😂🫶

— all about “sending messages” these days

— “But what would she even say to Aelin? Hello? How do you do? Please don't burn me?” — it’s giving as you can see I am very small and have no money😂

— “A gentle hand touched her shoulder. Pay attention. Look around.” — Lorcan mate telepathy? Mother Marion? Or Annieth?

— sure pull the classic “I don’t care” I’VE SEEN THAT BEFORE ROWAELIN MANORIAN ETC. (I know where this is going😂)

— all Lorcan had left was her🥹

— SHE DOVE FOR HIM

— FENRYS BABY NO DONT TOUCH OTHER BB

— “Lorcan's onyx eyes were unreadable as he scanned her face. And then he said quietly, "I wanted to go to Perranth with you." Lorcan dropped the shield. — It was not a hard choice. And it did not frighten him. Not nearly as much as the fatal wound in her arm did.” — I am dead inside

— “Lorcan had been born from and gifted with darkness. Returning to it was not a difficult task.” — seems to share the “witch theology” of Manon

— “But letting that glimmering, lovely light before him die out ... In (his ancient, bitter bones, he could not accept it.”

— “She had been forgotten--by everyone and everything. And still she had hoped. And still she had been kind to him. And still she had offered him a glimpse of peace in the time he'd known her. She had offered him a home.” — sobbing now

— he knew Fenrys didn’t want to either (I even think Gavriel is trying to drain his power)

— also where is Aelin here?

— even half dead Elide is fighting for him😭

— YES INNER CADRE KNOWLEDGE FOR THE WIN YES QUEEEEENS — SO THAT WAS THE PLAN!!!

— finally some successfully thought time

— I love EVERY Aelin enterance😂

— “Young, and yet her face ... It was an ancient face, wary and cunning and limned with power. Beautiful, with the sun-kissed skin, the vibrant turquoise eyes. Turquoise eyes, with a core of gold around the pupil. Ashryver eyes. The same as the golden-haired, handsome man who came up beside her, muscled body tense as he assessed whether he'd need to spill blood, a bow dangling from his hand. Two sides of the same golden coin. Aelin. Aedion.”

— “Young--she felt so young compared to the woman who approached. There were scars all over Aelin's hands, along her neck, around her wrists ... where shackles had been. Aelin slid to her knees not a foot away, and it occurred to Elide that she should be bowing, head to the dirt.” — the way Aelin’s descriptions keep shifting and also the fact AELIN bowed😭 (finally elide getting the respect she deserves + big sister “if you hurt her speeches) THE FAMILY IS TOGETHER AGAIN — “This was real”

— "You look... so much like your mother," — now I’m losing it for good

— "I'm so sorry." How many years had those words been locked up? — But Aelin didn't break her stare, even as tears continued cutting through the dirt on her cheeks. "Your mother told me to tell you that she loves you--very much. Those were her last words to me. 'Tell my Elide I love her very much.'" For over ten years, Aelin had been the sole bearer of those final words. Ten years, through death and despair and war, Aelin had carried them across kingdoms. And here, at the edge of the world, they had found each other again. Here at the edge of the world, just for a heartbeat, Elide felt the warm hand of her mother brush her shoulder.” — Aedion's turquoise eyes softened. "It survived. We survived." — "I'm here," Elide said as Aelin fixed those unnervingly vivid eyes on her, "because of Kaltain Rompier."

— and NOW MANON’S BACK & they know the others safe too 🥹

— “A shadow instantly lifted from Elide's heart, a whispering presence now silenced.” — and now Aelin has two carry two… she’s getting too drained… I’m worried😭

— Manon and Aelin back a it again🤣 (Ch. 57 spoilers for later; once Ansel joins in it’s gonna be crazy)

— “Tried not to make it seem like she hadn't just met her queen, her friend, her court, and ... somehow now found Lorcan to be the safest of them all. Manon smirked at Lorcan. "Your claim on her, male, is at the very bottom of the list." Iron teeth slid out, turning that beautiful face petrifying. Lorcan didn't let go. Manon crooned in that way that usually meant death, "Don't. Touch. Her." "You don't give me orders, witch," Lorcan said. "And you have no say in what is between us." Elide frowned at him. "You're making it worse." "We like to call it 'territorial male nonsense,"" Aelin confided. "Or 'territorial Fae bastard' works just as nicely." "Am I forgetting another term of endearment?" The warrior-prince's eyes glowed, even as his face remained set with predatory intent. "I think you covered it." Aelin winked at Lorcan. "You hurt her, and I'll melt your bones," she merely said, and walked away. Aedion looked Lorcan over and snorted. "Aelin does whatever she wants, but I think she'd let me see how many of your bones I can break before she melts them." — at this point this entire chapter is amazing lol I can’t get over any of it also the amount of facial expression reactions people must have to Aelin (I need an adaptation for things like this lol)

— ONE SILVER ONE GOLD (two sides of the coin)

— "That power could just as easily destroy her, you know." "I know," Rowan admitted. — NO THANK YOU

— “It had been a song that had made his magic erupt in kind.”

— She glows (drop that skin care routine queen😂)

— Final few things: (before final note) is the white wolf just a nickname then and Aedion isn’t actually? — SHE SOOTHED LORCAN🥹 — can everyone admit to being mates already? — the CONTRAST of Manon & Aelin — I LOVE THESE BOOKS

— "Such a good dog." Rowan gave him a lazy smile but refrained from commenting on the delicate, dark-haired young woman who now held Lorcan's own leash. — cackling I love our tattooed golden retriever😂 AND NOW (again) ONTO 58

[acourtofquestions]

EoS Part 2 FireHeart

Random (contextless-hot-mess) Thoughts “Round Up” Rambling:

*Spoiler warning up to Chapter 52, I have not read further so please avoid spoilers after pg. 484, thank you!*

— Will write more on these random notes later but for now:

She (Elide) is playing a Fortune Teller right as Aelin is freaking out over seeing the future? Or is she playing an ACOTAR type of character?

Elorcan is for sure a thing, they have the HoF ending vibes of Rowaelin with the whole “they don’t want to leave each other” piece now.

Thank goodness for hidden carriage compartments; I REALLY hate the Ilken

Grrrrreeeeaaaaattttt more self doubt for all the traumatized children of Terrasen

“LIVE”

She outsmarted him with assumption and I love her for it. Let’s go Queen Elide!

Wow she just leveled up by deciding about another Queen when she meets her (yesss girl; also noooooo Lorcan just calm down bruh)

What the hell are we doing Lorcan? YOU TELL ME!

Not the damned darkness again! MANON STOP GOING TO THE LIGHT OR DARK AND JUST GO LIVE DAMMIT!

Another life debt, that should come in handy; though wow is she being cold… why? Maybe the Rowan thing? A few pacing’s here are just a little off but maybe it’s perspective or plan? Idk that just felt off for Aelin or maybe… more Celaena?

“Fussy Fae males” and their love for their (what I’m calling because let’s be real they practically are) wives😂🥹

Abraxos found somewhere safe🥹 it was with Dorian😭he knew😭

“Cunning cruelty” yasssssss Elise descriptions (I love a classic 2-3 word description by Maas)

Why this way? Why not that way? What does it mean? Why can’t you go the right direction? I DON’T TRUST ANYONE!

Is it just me or do I also love Fenrys now?

“Witchling” & “Princeling” otherwise known as QUEEN AND KING

Okay so Dorian just did the same Rowan “nothing to me line” only this time it was flirty & not heartbreaking— INTERESTING (plus if it reminds me of Rowaelin it’s a good sign cause come on talk about OTP)

How does the shifter sea dragon thing work? A few chapters ago Aedion was saying it drained her too much? Yet it seems pretty constant? Is she also immortal? How does the human power thing work? Further same question with Dorian and his… shadow hands? —(Idk I’dhave to ask Azriel😂)

Finally YAS Elide let’s full circle this loop girlie (GO FIND AELIN NOW) — DAMMIT NO LORCAN BAD LORCAN DON’T KILL THE QUEEN CAUSE YOU MISS UR BRO — ughhhhhhhh😩 (thank the Wyrd god I can trust in Elide😅😂😭 like babe you have a place in this court; it’s called THE ONLY VOICE OF SANITY & Lysandra is trying but babe she wasn’t built to be the sane one she is a lion for Pete’s sake let the girl be wild too but Elide mommy we need you )

No one else I’d rather have at my back — thank you Dorian for once again healing everything

All the home metaphors for Rowan🥹😭🫶 I LOVE THEM

Where do we go now that we’re “stuck” on a boat with our “enemy” who we happen to think is cute shirtless and we’ll follow to the depths of Morath and say things like always cause it’s super casual totall who knows? Your just “his WIFE”😂

Okay Aelin’s note wins her extra points😘😘

The nightmares… fuck… are they “just nightmares”?

The shift of Rowan into fae but her telling him she just loves him and nothing else, and showing more of that side, and their powers, yet there still them, and just lovely😭 Break my heart again Rowan with your whole I didn’t know if I could get you back schpiel — wait she’ll always come back to him — ROWAELIN I CAN’T😭

I see you & I AM NOT AFRAID

crying cause he doesn’t know how to get her back from the gods but he’d go to hell with wyrdkeys if he had to but things are getting scary and I just want my babies okay

Aww Rowan just wants to be worthy of her, precious bb, you already are!

You’re all I need — see, I TOLD YOU ROWAN

You can’t hurt me — well you sure can hurt me

Rowan Pretty words Whitethorn😊

lol the two assassins retiring — yes please🫶

The “Yielding” … interesting… this feels bad… but cool?

The speed of certain ships is either due to soulmates, lack of perspective, or perhaps wreckless personality. It doesn’t bug me when I think on it (honestly I’m a bad judge after all these Rowaelin pining books) but I am curious about it.

“Courting death” the Manorian romance novel😂

The rest of them watching Rowaelin spar and pretending to ignore them even though they are a “storm” lol

She kept her friend and words to herself she’s growing and you can give the girl some points Dorian

I’m with ya Manon not until I have no choice! EVERYTHING IS FINE! To whatever end😭🖤

The 13 are fine. I agree. I am with Manon; until proven otherwise. That ilken knew nothing😅 because it’s just messing with her🥲 nevermind the fact no one knew that about Asterin🫥 or the Matron is off wreaking havoc🫠 she thinks Manon’s dead that’s gotta help right😭 MY GODS RIGHT😩 ITS NOT TRUE THERES NO FUCKING WAY THEY WOULD DO THAT TO ME LIKE THAT NONE AT ALL

If they friggin kill Fenrys five seconds after me being like well hello sir —

Why did the powers stop??? Why did both Aelin and Rowan’s powers stop? THATS NOT NORMAL!

DAMN IT HE KNOWS DAMN IT HE KNOWS DAMN IT

Okay is her power water or healing or one in the same?

Umm… Is she preggers? … … … why did she call Lysandra? Rowan bud are you okay? Is it the vision — what was the vision?

WTF NO I KNEW ELLYWE WOULD GET ME

Elide is giving Mob wife energy 💅🏻 😂 *hey google play “please please please” by Sabrina Carpenter*

NOOOO NOW ITS The Prophecy for Aelin

THE KEY I KNEW IT I KNEW IT (still think it’s a lock though)?

“Uncle kitty” I AM CACKLING

“She asked for him” I love Aedion and Aelin

More stars lines more breaking my heart great another quote time

Elide Lochan remaining a lovely human “not a monster” despite 10 years of trauma

How did Manon know that? OH GOODNESS ITS A REAL PROPHECY? Is it the Valg - witch connection? How’s that work with her Crochan blood?

Oh my gods IS SHE PREGNANT?!

Okay well at least I’m not crazy Maas did make us go there

Not to be that person but also like they should’ve talked about that one BEFORE😂 or at least recently… and I kinda hate that the “marriage & babies” is all “a queen is only good for” kinda mentality is getting into her head and not becoming a full talk with Rowan; where I feel like Maasverse already has a tendency to do messy pregnancy plots (there’s nothing wrong if she wants to get married and have kids: I’m just saying this time when stating it, it did not sound like she wanted kids; as much as “an heir” in “preparation for her inevitable doom” that she’s way too easily accepting)

Let’s have an adventure lol WRONG PEOPLE GUYS, THAT WAS CHAOLS LINE lol …also the line “Don’t leave”🥹 so many feels… and also A lot of repeated phrases either by intention or trope but I’m curious to see which it will be…

The more I think on it the Husband lie was quite genius as Elide always is

Who was it that they knew? … Whats up with the shape shifting Ilken?

The key is talking to Elide now (great🙄 that never goes wrong)? — Does it only talk to magic and witches? — HOW DOES IT WORK? (Also can my girls please stop wearing them so closely like literally on their hearts HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF A HORCRUX — BE CAREFUL GIRLIES)

Blaming her — AGAIN?! — REALLY??? … WHY?!?

The goodbye with Abraxos😭😭😭

The marsh… sure… nothing bad ever happens in creepy swamps… 😅😅🙃

The King of Adarlan and Queen of Terrasen (okay I see you boo’s)

The cloak turned into a single ribbon🖤

THE QUEEN SAW IT TOO💔

Where to now???