#like there is no way I’d let my bb bro or sis go to a boarding school in England or fight a giant dog or go on a quest for the gods

[acourtofquestions]

A Maasverse note because I think sometimes characters get poorly judged both by other characters, plot lines, & fandom reception (of course this is all fictional… so this post is also purely fiction… and probably has some “fictional world differences” or “rules” to apply… but still😂)

This started with the *sarcastic* “lovely” talk with Darrow about the “people of Terrasen” because the idea of blaming Aelin — who, btw, let the record show was ONLY an EIGHT-YEAR-OLD CHILD!!! — for “abandoning them” when she WAS A CHILD really got on my nerves. Especially as even this conversation is taking place with a 19-year-old… while not 8, and “old enough” in her own right; SHE IS STILL NINETEEN… and if you ask me IF ANYONE did any “abandoning” it was the people of Terrasen who simply went “hmm… we can’t find our queen… oh no! She must have drowned! No need to think further!!! MOVING ON!” meanwhile she was KIDNAPPED, after having her ENTIRE family assassinated IN FRONT OF HER (at EIGHT) and nearly drowning to outrun the assassin trying to KILL HER, & Arobynn was NOT much better; she couldn’t escape (cause SHE WAS EIGHT and with an ACTUAL ASSASSIN) and by the time she had “learned” (been forced into & through traumatic, abusive, horrifying, painful experiences for YEARS) enough to be “allowed” to leave the keep and at all able to even possibly run far enough to somehow get to Terrasen it was already GONE there was nothing left for her to go back to or save, and (even then) she was STILL A CHILD. She came back in under 10 years, barely an adult, she SURVIVED, give the girl some CREDIT PLEASE!!! And yeah, she was an assassin, no it’s not the most moral of jobs (but this is fiction) it was that or death, she went to hell & back (this was NOT some pampered upbringing) and YOUR queen endured it FOR you (and YOU damned her to it, or is it not fair to blame you? Oh, so it isn’t fair to blame y'all… yet the EIGHT-YEAR-OLD is fine?!) and to be honest, from her lineage (which kind of doomed her already) to the state of their world, they may actually NEED/want to have an Assassin as a Queen. Like yeah, she did that, she SURVIVED that, she is capable and smart and can actually lead a war. Can any of you old men gawking at her say the same??? Hmm??? No, you can’t because even though you all saw horrors, we all know the CHILDREN of Terrassen endured the worst; Aedion fought your wars, Elide was also kidnapped (not that any of you care; but it did keep her alive—I guess?), so can we just be glad you all are alive?!? AND LEAVE AELIN BE FOR ONCE, PLEASE! (I’m sure Darrow “has his reasons” and a backstory, but as a general point & issue I really can’t stand it).

wow sorry don’t know what got into me there maybe it is a lil personal?😅😂

Then into one that keeps popping up and bothering me: the argument & anger towards Nesta & Elain. Now while it does have its place (and I have been there too during points of my first read), I also am taking it all into account, and while I’m sorry that they let her go into the woods they were children. Nesta was a CHILD. Elain was a CHILD. (Maybe I don’t know exact ages, but they can’t have been in their 20s & 30s😂). THEY WERE ALL CHILDREN TOO. While Feyre was the youngest, while Feyre deserved safety & protection, while Feyre truly did go through a lot (and the fact she didn’t feel loved is absolutely gut-wrenching and wrong) some of which she may have been able to be spared from… she also wasn’t the only child, freezing, starving, losing parents, and terrified. Even Nesta as the oldest was still a kid. Elain is not that much older than Feyre, and she was a kid too. And yes, Feyre was a child, she was FOURTEEN, she was their little sister, and she was a child too even more. But honestly the truest guilt relies on not the sisters (THREE CHILDREN) but on the ACTUAL ADULTS; their father; who did have his issues & eventually redemption (and yes parents aren’t always capable that does happen; disability, pain, grief, depression, they are beasts), but also he still remains FAR more responsible than Nesta or Elain or even Feyre EVER should have been in the first place. It lies on THE ENTIRE VILLAGE that abandoned them; CHILDREN, whose mother had DIED, whose father was CLEARLY UNWELL, who were freezing & starving (& while the village may have been struggling they COULD have struggled TOGETHER and NOT LEFT CHILDREN to their own); THEY should have been the ones to step up. Not Nesta. Not Elain. Not Feyre. The three sisters were all children. And while any oldest sibling knows we are capable of filling roles, that doesn’t make it right; nor does it make anyone’s brains fully formed… so… like… they literally couldn’t think beyond more sometimes. And yes, while I can’t imagine sending one of my siblings (older or younger) off into the woods alone for any reason (I also could understand going off before they could stop you; I can understand why & how Feyre might’ve without them even knowing; because if it were my family it wouldn’t matter I’d do it, even if someone older was there), but I also can’t pretend it would be oh so easy to keep all four people alive by yourself (to a certain extent Nesta needs to be alive because she is the only “semi-adult” in the first place) and still as a child abandoned by the world (she had her issues too) she was a daughter so sure her father would save them begging for it in agony over it and lost in the world. While I in Nesta’s shoes would NEVER have let Feyre be near anyone during a break in, we don’t know the full story, Nesta may not have had options; she may have just run, grabbed Elain who was close by, and hid because at least she could keep them alive; and she was also a terrified child. And while Elain “went along” in Nesta’s shelter without protest; WHY WOULD’NT SHE? All children crave & deserve protection, safety, kindness, love, she has that in Nesta; why would she run from the only stability she has; especially as the child that lost something else (where Nesta was the favorite & simultaneously resented their mother, and Feyre was the “forgotten” child who never got to be a child or know such a kind of safe love, Elain did which means she knew the loss of it she had a mother to grieve) she was young and terrified and holding on to the only thing she could? And what happened to Feyre was terrible, she was forced to shoulder a burden alone, she also took it on (not blaming her, just saying she also didn’t say anything; because it was survival) and yes, it was wrong. But what happened to Nesta and Elain was also wrong. The three of them were children, and they could have done better, but they did their best and survived. As adults, they have begun healing those wounds. What else can we expect other than accountability from the ACTUAL adults at fault?! *and by actual I mean fictional😂*

The past is past. (To some extent in this context side at least)

So I guess all I’m saying is WHY ARE ALL THESE YA NOVELS BASED ON BABY’s AND TEENAGERs AND WHERE ARE ANYONE's PARENTS (oh wait their all orphans that tracks now) CAUSE I GUESS IT'S THE TROPE 🤦‍♀️ and the next character that gets all political & sexist & “my way or the highway child” during the middle of a WAR by blaming Aelin (or gods forbid poor the more I learn) Aedion for what they did to survive as children during Empire of Storms is going to get my wrath😅😂🤣 and don’t you dare Darrow EVER talk to Lysandra like that again!!! *thank you, Rowan, for protecting them; your family; with pride* (at least the 200-year-old stepped up to the plate😅😅😂… too soon?)

Shoutout to iwantavaldezinator for fandoming with me about the Terrasen issue😂

[itsclydebitches]

I adore talking about this with you, it's so cool to be able to agree, everything I've read is just excusing yen lmao.

And with "geralt would rather do and say things Yen wants to avoid pissing her off" LIKE YEAHH I guess I annoyed yen with my answers and she teleported Geralt out of the tower thing, and then threatened to do it again like??? Like he pissed her off so she has fuck all care about him, was over water thank god but like girl??? omg and her refusing to tell the wticher bros what she was planning on doing to Uma, like I get that they would be hesistent but I mean it's cause it's cruel and painful and they have that trauma around that. She just expects everyone to do what she asks when she asks no questions. (Lambert's "I'm not geralt" when he and Yen are kinda arguring, bb red flags)

I just assumed she didn't believe him cause if she did whats her excuse for behaving how she is lmao??? Like you believe he has amnesia and you still blame HIM over the person who maniplated him KAY.

And goodddd that fucking scene when Triss and Yen see Ciri in Kaer Morhen is genuinely the worst, Triss and Yen see their sis/daughter (not gonna get into how weird I find it that Triss considers Ciri her sister and Geralt is Ciris father and she still wants to fuck him, uncomfy) for the first time in forever, she's alive and well and while Triss is hugging Ciri, Yen kisses Geralt and Triss throws a glare at her. I hated that scene so damn much, it's stupid and shouldn't have been there. (aso I get emotions and all but Yen kissing Geralt is so bitchy, idk even full of gratitude and emotion I wouldn't kiss the man who just dumped me lol, especially not in front of a situation like Triss)

I'm still mad about the women, I really wanted to like them fuck meeee

YOU GOT TO THE PART. Oh thank god, anon, I've wanted to talk about this since we started these conversations lol

Okay, let's set the scene, shall we? You arrive to find that, with our playthroughs anyway, your ex has barged into your home. I say "barged in" because although we (Geralt) know that Yen's help is necessary and she'll be tagging along, the other witchers living there are given no prior warning and, according to Vesemir, Yen teleported in without so much as a "Hello." She then immediately starts ordering everyone around like her servants, failing to explain the situation beyond there being a curse that they have to help with. No, this isn't negotiable. She (still being an ex) takes your old room for herself, which just happens to be the biggest in the keep, and proceeds to toss a bed out the window. It's only later that Vesemir recalls that Triss used to use it, so prior to that everyone apparently just accepted that Yen was destroying their stuff for no understandable reason. Classic Yen. You go upstairs to find her cursing a blue streak at her failed experiment and when you try to lighten the mood, she snaps at you. If you're of the opinion that Yen's every order must be obeyed, this is when you're supposed to drop the conversation entirely, because she said to. Except, funnily enough, you'd like to know why she's up here being The Worst Guest Ever and destroying your property. She tries to justify this by saying that destroying a bed is better than how she could be dealing with her anger over Triss. Be grateful and all that. Except, it's not really about Triss, is it? The line is "You shagged my friend. For upwards of a year. I don't know what your witcher's code says on the matter, but ordinary folk would consider it obscene, base, vile." The blame is not on the woman who knowingly manipulated Geralt into having sex with her while he was vulnerable, it's on Geralt himself! He is the "obscene, base, vile" person for... daring to have amnesia? And when you point that out - "Yen... told you already. I lost my memory" - she yells that she's "lost [her] patience" and teleports you into a lake! This is, apparently, how she really wants to deal with her anger. Not by destroying beds, but by attacking you for things outside of your control. And I do consider it an attack. Yen is meant to be insanely powerful, she is leveraging her magic as a weapon here, particularly when Geralt has spent the whole game commenting on how much he hates portals. Yen knows this. Not just because he says so in her presence, but because she frequently reads his mind, something else he's expressed discomfort with. She's not just demonstrating her power (controlling) and sending him away when he makes a point she doesn't want to acknowledge (immature), she chooses the one thing she knows makes Geralt uncomfortable, perhaps even scared. Then when you've swum your way back to shore and returned to, despite all this, begin her list of chores, she makes a dry comment about how next time she just might drop you high enough for the fall to be fatal. With the next time implied to be, you know, the next time you disagree with her. The next time you dare to do anything other than agree with her every belief and jump at her every command.

The fandom interpretation of all this: "Lol Geralt getting yeeted is so funny. And their banter is just 😍"

Me:

You mentioned red flags and yeah like that ENTIRE SCENE is a crimson banner for me. I mean, by all means, love the fictional ships that are super messed up (I often do), but it astounds me how many fans honestly think this is just a cute interaction with absolutely no problems attached. Nothing to question here, folks. I've mentioned before, but last I discussed this in depth the asker wanted to know if I'd been an asshole to Yen and... that's it. That's the perspective. Any disagreement with her, any pushback, anything that's not complete, blind obedience is something she will not permit AND something most fans take as a given. If you're not doing what Yen tells you to, you're automatically the asshole, and if you're the asshole, you automatically deserve any punishment she chooses to dish out.

Comic spoilers coming up if you want to skip, but this is made abundantly clear in "Curse of Crows." Yen and Geralt are at their best in the moment below, enjoying one another's company on a nice day. Yen asks if Geralt wants to swim and he says nah, he'd rather watch her. She appears to like that idea and, indeed, swims naked while Geralt admires from the shore.

Actually cute right? I really liked this moment! They're cuddled up together and exchanging smiles. It's a rare moment of peace where I can believe that they truly care for one another, outside of passionate sex and not wanting the other dead. Finally, something beyond that incredibly low bar.

...except Yen starts flirting with a young man who shows up, invites him to travel with them, all while refusing to explain why she's interested in his company. The sudden third wheel is clearly bothering Geralt, but Yen continues to ignore his questioning. The answer she finally gives later that night?

She did it purely to mess with Geralt! It's his "just desserts" for "refusing to swim with [her]." She is "not one to be refused - I thought you needed reminding" by giving him "a flick on the nose." When I say that Yen treats Geralt like a dog I mean she literally treats him like a dog. He's a servant who must jump at her every command and if he doesn't, he'll punished for disobedience. He might not even know why he's being punished for a long stretch because Yen enjoys making him think she's a normal person capable of accepting that he doesn't feel like swimming right now - insert the Kaer Morhen scene where she wants to go have sex upstairs, but Geralt wants to catch up with the brothers he hasn't seen in an age here - only to reveal that actually she's made their formerly nice outing uncomfortable because he needs to be put in his place. All of which is followed by, "So... willing to join me now?" The message is very clear! Geralt had better get his ass in that tub unless he wants to be punished some more. Whether he wants a bath right now or not is inconsequential.

This is also the run where she scares the women Geralt was with, despite them being separated right now. Why? "I could."

Claims that Geralt is allowed to return to his companions (who he actually waves away) only for him to realize she's cast a spell to burn him with the water. Yen loves pretending she's okay with things only to punish Geralt for them later - sometimes with physical punishments. And what would have happened if the women had actually joined him again? Do witchers weather hot water better than the average courtesan? Who knows, but Yen clearly doesn't care who might get hurt.

Just like her time in Skellige and at Kaer Morhen, she refuses to explain what's going on. She just expects people to obey her, so-called loved ones included. Geralt was to get her cider, and arrive before her bath went cold, not question what they're doing on this dangerous hunt. He's a servant.

And my favorite, petty moment: transforming her awful inn food into a lavish meal without offering to do the same for either Geralt or Ciri.

"But, Clyde, that's just the comics. They're not really canon." Nah, questions of canon aside, this is 100% Yen's characterization. She's prideful. Immature. Beyond controlling. And punishes anyone who dares to tell her "No." Fans are always pointing out that she's meant to be horrible, she could have been a villain in another life, like any of that explains why I'm supposed to root for this relationship or enjoy her existence outside of being a complex character. Yen is interesting, but she's interesting in a "I can't wait to see her get her own just desserts" way. Not "Wooo now I get to watch this story ignore her behavior again to push a True Love narrative."

She punished Geralt frequently during their first meeting, she punishes him whenever they get together, and, I think, she punished him during the reunion with Ciri. Given our playthroughs, do we really think that after breaking up with her and all this fury over Triss - an anger so deep she destroyed the bed and attacked Geralt - she's just overcome with such joy that she forgets they're not together anymore and forgets the anger she's been nurturing for years? Yen doesn't forget. She's staring at Ciri during that moment, right where Triss is currently running towards them, and then after a considering look at Geralt pulls him in for that kiss. That was calculated. She did that to make a claim she no longer had. To punish them both: make Triss uncomfortable by playing at the "perfect" family reunion; make Geralt uncomfortable by kissing him when she knows he doesn't feel the same way. But of course, the popular reading is that she just loves him so much she couldn't help herself. Riiight.

It's just all SO BAD. (Including, as you say, the ickiness of having Triss lusting after Geralt and referring to Ciri as "little sis.") I love a lot of the women in Witcher - Cerys is a fave, Ciri, Saskia, Philippa, Keira, etc. - but the two I'm supposedly meant to fall in love with are just the worst lol.

Basically:

Half the fandom: TEAM TRISS 🤬

The other half: TEAM YEN🤬

Me: TEAM REGIS 😭

[zayashmaya]

Gods and Monsters - 4 - Honeymoon (part 1).

Marvus x Reader; SFWish

Other chapters here!

In which the limo becomes the ultimate wingman.

There are violets in your eyes There are guns that blaze around you There are roses in between my thighs and fire that surrounds you It's no wonder every man in town had neither fought nor found you ... 

- Lana Del Rey

You were propped up on Marvus’s lap from the moment the chauffeur closed the door behind him. It was a rather intimate gesture, but Marvus had insisted, and you knew him well enough by now to expect this sort of behavior from him. You even questioned him once about his tendency to always touch you, and he had claimed it was because he enjoyed your warmth, so you happily obliged his cold-blooded yearnings.

Marvus had chosen his singular seat that was strategically placed between a mini fridge and a bartop upon which rested several bottles of faygo. You discretely scrunched your nose as he took a generous chug. Not even the atmospheric tunes playing from the speakers could appease your rising hatred for that drink.

But Marvus mistook your leering for thirst, apparently. “Wanna lil taste?” he offered, jostling the faygo with a slight shake.

Would it be rude to refuse? Would it go against his religion, even? “Is this the same faygo they serve during service … ?” you asked, remembering how Chahut had prompted you to partake in the ritualistic consumption.

“Na b dis ain’t the cheap shit, u gotta try it.”

You hesitantly accepted the bottle, using both hands to tip it up. The cold, acrid nectar electrified your taste buds with its overpowering sweetness. With the amount of sugar and other obscure additives mixed into this noxious concoction, no wonder the purplebloods were prone to sporadic bouts of madness.

The limo rolled over a bump and made you spill some of the faygo from the corner of your mouth. “Damn it,” you muttered, wiping it away with your hand as you leaned over Marvus’s lap to set the bottle down, unaware of his gaze on your lips.

Before you could settle back into place, Marvus caught hold of your wrist. You felt your pulse quicken — was he upset with how you’re conducting yourself, wasting his favorite drink?

Judging by his cheeky grin and hooded eyes, you knew that was not the case.

Your anxiety disappeared instantly, only to be replaced with frozen shock as his tongue darted out to slowly lick away the sticky faygo on the back of your hand.

“Wh — I — Marvus — “

“Can’t let it go ta waste, ya no wat i’m sayin?” he cheekily said as you wiped off his spit on your dress. “So, wat b da verdict?”

God, you still felt the residual chill on your hand from his tongue. It had been so wet and smooth —

“Yo buddy, u gud?”

What would it feel like in other places — 

You snapped out of your wandering thoughts and prayed you weren’t blushing too hard. “Wh — what? Oh, it’s … it’s something, alright,” you meekly replied.

Marvus chuckled. “Don't stress it babe, i can see u ain’t too keen on da wicked elixir. It b written all over your face.”

You smoothed your hands over your cheeks and cursed the heat blossoming forth. “Don’t tease me, Marv,” you whined, turning away from him.

He gently grabbed your wrists and pried your hands away with ease, smiling at your mock pout. “I juss can’t help myself. Look at dat cute redness all over u. How’s a bro supposed to resist makin u flush, ‘specially when i no it’s all for me?"

Revealing one’s blood color to another was considered to be an intimate display of trust, as you’d learned when you first met Vikare. Maybe Marvus was just eager for some reassurance of your friendship? Troll culture sure is confusing.

A short buzz saved you from further provocation. Marvus seemed almost disappointed by the interruption, judging by how his smile fell into a flat line. But he excused himself all the same, busying himself with his palmhusk while grumbling about not getting enough free time.

You were tempted to check out the television, but the remote was cast away on another seat, and Marvus had tightened his hold around your waist while he spoke to someone who might have been his manager. Trapped as you were, you simply leaned onto his shoulder and looked outside, letting the ambient rap streaming from the speakers set the mood.

Through the tinted windows you could make out towering high-rises and neon signs flaring with Alternian government propaganda. A particular sign caught your eye for a brief moment as it passed by — written into a giant billboard in magenta were the words, the revolution will not be televised, because it does not exist.

Marvus snapped his fingers in front of you, prompting you to look up. He was startlingly close, you realized, and you very nearly got lost in those impossibly dark eyes before he asked, “Whachu thinkin abt, babe?”

You regarded him silently.

Here you were, legs propped up over the lap of a dangerous highblood. He had finished with his phone call, grazing his knuckles over the expanse of your leg. Strange, how you felt completely at ease with him, despite knowing what he was capable of. You were not an idiot — Marvus could command thousands of mindless trolls with the same flair of a ringleader in a circus, fanning the flames of crowd-induced mania simply for his own convenience. Blood spilled for his sake, sacrificial lambs led to a euphoric slaughter.

The propaganda sign was still burned into the back of your retinas, a haunting after-image that colored your world a dizzying lime, and you were reminded of Tyzias’s hushed whispers of a caste long-forgotten, lost to the depths of a magenta shadow.

Dead. The limebloods were all dead, as decreed by the Condesce.

Limelight, you thought. The focus of public attention. How ironic.

Marvus would one day have to carry out the Condesce's whims. He was certainly fit for it, having honed his craft as a global superstar. All of his life had been dedicated to his adoring fans, painstakingly perfecting his performances with an avid devotion to not only the populace, but to his very namesake, to whom he was destined to become.

And that is precisely why you pitied him. How different could his livelihood have been, how evolved beyond its empty meaning could it become, if only he could create music for music’s sake. Not for an inevitable life of servitude, forced to use his powers to control the masses.

If only he knew what true freedom meant. Not that your world was perfect by any means, but still, you wondered.

“I was thinking about music,” you replied.

He quirked a brow. “Don’t leave me hanging like dis now, i gots to b knowin wat’s cooking in that funky think pan of yours.”

“Well,” you started, wondering if what you were about to say was considered heretical. “I was just wondering what music means for your people. For my people, it’s traditionally been used for all sorts of reasons, but at its core, music has always been a form of self-expression, rebellion, and spreading messages of awareness. You know, like … problems with our society, and stuff.”

You paused and glanced at Marvus. Nothing about him seemed out of place — except behind his ever-present grin and hooded eyes hid a keen glint of intuitive understanding. “Dont lemme stop u bb,” he said with a wink. “I like to hear u spit sum faxxual truths at me abt alien culture.”

“You’re not going to rip me in half for saying these things?” You knew he wouldn’t, but it was your turn to tease.

Marvus had the decency to look scandalized. “Daaayum, dat hit me rite in the blood pusher,” he dramatically replied, slapping a hand over his chest. “I ain’t never given u no reason to think i’d hurt u!”

You smiled softly at his genuine concern, shuffling around for a moment to bring your knees on either side of his hips. Marvus looked a little out of sorts with your repositioning, eyes roaming over your further-exposed thighs as your dress rode up from straddling him.

“I know you wouldn’t hurt me,” you quietly said, placing your hand over his. “But I’ve been on this planet long enough to know danger when I see it.”

His fingers entwined with yours. “Damn strait, cuz.” He brought your hand up to his lips and gave a quick nip to your fingertips, gently so as to not scratch. You snatched it back with a giggle. “But btwn u and me, i think u’d give me a run for my cas$$shmunny, hunnie.”

“How so?”

He tapped two fingers against your temple. “The danger b all up in here.”

“The only thing dangerous about me is my lack of a brain — er, a think pan.”

“Na don’t sell urself short like dat, i b tellin u dat u wouldn’t have survived without sum street smarts.”

“That’s what I thought in the beginning,” you wistfully said. “Until I started realizing how my life has turned into an endless stream of do-overs. At this point, I’m more inclined to think that there is a higher power watching over me, guiding my way.”

Marvus hummed in answer, short and deep and with a hint of questioning. “Hey babe, lemme axe u sumthin.”

You wordlessly nodded, sobering up from the sudden change in mood. This was, perhaps, the first time you had ever seen him with such a thoughtful look on his face.

“You really believe in the Dark Carnival, sis?” His eyes appeared to flash with each passing lamp post, like a dangerous creature prowling in the darkness.

Long ago, you might have hesitated. Longer still, you might have faked your devotion in favor of friendship. Now, though … now you knew with resounding certainty.

“I really do,” you answered.

“How do u no for a fact?”

“Because I’ve been there.” Marvus frowned and leaned back against his chair. You did not let his skepticism deter you. “I died once, you know. I don’t really remember it, but I know it happened because whenever I’m in church, I can practically feel myself being lifted into another plane of existence. And — and there was a carousel,” you animatedly recalled, each bit of recollection stringing together lost memories until it felt like you were there again. “There were two angels who came to get my body, and there were weird mannequins occupying the other horses on the carousel, and there were paintings of clowns with smiles and frowns … And a purple figure holding something, and there was a lot of red and green — “

Marvus placed a hand against your cheek, and you felt your zealous excitement cool down to a happy daze. “Either u hittin da incense too hard, or dat was a mutherfxxn prophetic vision.”

“I dunno,” you slurred, leaning into his touch. “But it was real, Marvus. It was fucking real, and the only time I’ve ever really felt at peace since I got here.”

“Shiiiiit, lil mama,” he breathed in awe, running his fingers through your hair before grabbing your waist. “I ain’t gonna doubt u no more. If da messiahs deemed u fit for such an honor, then i fxxn bow to u.”

You giggled. “You do that anyway! Since I’m so short, ya see.”

“Yea, short n sweet,” he rumbled low, and you felt his touch run down your sides to end up at your thighs. At this point, you were fairly convinced he had a fixation.

It took a moment to catch up with his words. There you go again with your blushing. “Wh — what are you saying … “ you trailed off, shyly looking away.

“Only truths,” he replied. “Cuz all i see is truths all over u. Your skin b glowin like its covered in sum kinda special stardust n shit. Makes perfect sense tho.” He bared his sharp fangs in a wide smile, his eyes raking up and down your form as you felt his hands grip your thighs a little tighter. “Them leg struts b a muthafuxxin miracle, babe. And that’s a true fact, strait up.”

You felt the gears turning in your head while you processed what he said. Was he … ?

“Oh!” You leaned in towards him and bunched your hands into the fabric of his coat. Marvus craned his neck to bring his face closer to yours — for what reason, you couldn’t imagine — and it almost looked like he planned to close his eyes before you excitedly spoke, “You’re talking about that sparkly powder you guys use during prayer, right? And you use this stardust to pray for miracles, ergo my strut sticks, which apparently even the Grand Highblood approves of. That’s pretty poetic, Marvus. You really have a way with words! Although I guess you have to be, since it’s quite literally your livelihood."

Holy hell were you rambling.

Marvus reared back, eyes wide and mouth pursed in confusion. Whatever he saw in your oblivious face had him soften his expression, a light smile playing on his lips. “Pfft. Yea, lil mama.”

The limo suddenly lurched. You were propelled face-forward into Marvus’s chest, and you were tempted to compare his pecks to airbags, but that was too gauche, even by your standards.

“Sorry!” you squeaked, ready to scoot back to put some respectful distance between you, but his hands found their way around you and held you in place.

This was intimate. This was far more intimate than his usual touchy-feely self. You were frozen in hesitation, a bundle of nerves and unexplored emotions rising to the forefront of your mind. “Marvus … ?”

You couldn’t see his face, but you could feel him. Solid, sinewy flesh pressed against your cheek, cold to the touch and yet pulsing with a living beat.

“Wanna know another fact?” he quietly asked. You slowly nodded, and he continued, “You’re kinda one dense mofo, too.”

Well, that took a turn you were not expecting. Marvus loosened his grip to let you look at him face on. Your nose wrinkled in confusion as he watched you with an amused expression. “What do you mean?”

“Babe. Do i rly gots to spell it out for u? Maybe free-style some sicknasty beats to get dem thots cookin in ur think pan?”

You opened your mouth to speak before closing it to think for a moment. The prospect seemed rather exciting; how many people had the privilege of having this talented troll customize a rap for them? “I wouldn’t turn down a verse from you.”

“ :o) “ He reached out to carefully tuck your hair behind an ear — your heart fluttered — and leaned in to murmur:

”Lover lovin herself all up on me, Luscious hips, all curves and dips, And a burning touch That I just gotta worship like an effigy Ya hear me baby — “

Your hands clenched into fists against his chest.

“Red flushin and rushin like a river that flows I wanna b known how far down it goes."

You felt your breath leave your body.

Marvus finally leaned back to gauge your reaction. God, he was so close, hypnotizing you with those deadly bedroom eyes. You couldn’t look away. “Catch my drift now?”

It was at this very moment that your predicament became utterly, embarrassingly aware to you. “You wanted to pail me this whole time?!”

“Ye ;o) “

“But — but why?”

He furrowed his brows and tilted his head. “Whutchu mean why?"

You felt your cheeks burn as the onslaught of past remarks about your appearance surged forth to the forefront of your mind. “Because I’m not attractive to your kind,” you bluntly replied. “I’ve been compared to a mutated lusus, for goodness sake!”

“Hahaha lol!”

“That’s not funny!” You lightly smacked your palm against his shoulder.

Marvus settled down from his laughing bout, completely unperturbed by your attack. “U ain’t gotta give those muthafxxkas any of ur time or energy. Who gives a damn wat they b thinkin, they ain’t the ones who get to have u at the end of the nite. I like u for ur cute lil booty — “ He shamelessly patted your behind, and you admitted to yourself that it wasn’t an unwelcome advance. “ — and most of all, i fxxks whichu for how chill n funny u are. So don’t be all up and worried bout any of dat. Wouldn’t have u here otherwise.”

It was time for one of your famous, long-winded internal monologues.

Did you want this? Did you feel attracted to Marvus Xoloto?

Hell fucking yes, don’t ask yourself such stupid questions.

With that out of the way, on to the next point of consideration — were you ready to accept his propositioning?

Oh, how badly you wanted to say yes. The urge for friendship had long ago morphed into a consuming hunger for stronger bonds. You had even caved in to your whimsical desires and became rather well acquainted with troll anatomy … except everything crashed and burned right after your romp.

Lanque’s cutthroat critique bore into your heart and grew there like a festering wound ever since that fateful night. As such, you could not help but wonder whether Marvus would find you boring, too. Even worse than that, you wondered whether he was doing this to satisfy some sick curiosity about your body. Just another exotic thing to cross off his bucket list.

You did not want to believe those dark thoughts. Marvus had never treated you badly before — in fact, all evidence pointed to the contrary, that he was genuinely into you. But try as you might, your self-confidence was at an all time low. You were afraid to open up again.

Marvus patiently waited while you chewed on your bottom lip and looked away. As soon as your face darkened, he was there to reel you back in with a tap against your nose. You snapped out of your thoughts and drew your attention to him, afraid to see him irate or disappointed by your silence. Instead, you found him to be his usual smiling self.

“Don’t stress it so hard, cuz. U ain’t gotta do anythin u aint keen on, ya dig? I’ma getchu home like i promised, and we gonna forget dis happened.”

It should have been enough. You should have been happy with his suggestion, eager to put this all behind you and remain platonic friends, because you were still hurting from your last tryst.

So why did you feel bothered?

Marvus pressed a button off to the side of his armrest, and the driver’s voice crackled through a nearby speaker. “Yes sir?”

You were about to miss out on an important situation, your senses told you. And you needed to make a choice.

Some other you chose the sensible route. Some other you would return to your watchtower and never get this opportunity again.

But you were strong enough to push through your doubts, right when it mattered most.

You grabbed hold of his loosened bowtie —

“Sup buddy, we gotta — “

— and yanked him down to your level, smashing your lips against his.

[simplylove101]

Fitzsimmons

1) when they first intrigued me

These two intrigued me from the second Ward walked onto the Bus and caught these two in the middle of one their usual squabbles & said “Fitzsimmons?” I was like, who are these precious beans?? And why did he just call them by a shipper name? XD I got into AoS after S1 had aired & was only doing it cuz a friend who shipped Skyeward was like, you must watch & ship them! What I didn’t know was that it was these two who would later become my OTP of the show. I didn’t realize I was allowed to ship this until a little later. For now, I just thought they were really precious besties who were able to finish each other’s sentences. Iain even said they were playing it like bro & sis early on. Yeah, well, that was believable for the first few eps. lol Either way, I knew I was going to like these two, regardless of their dynamic.

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2) when I started to ‘ship’ them 

This episode was one of the episodes that really sold this show for me. I was enjoying Skyeward & the whole team dynamic. I was loving these two’s friendship. Little did I know the emotions they were going to make me feel in 1x06. When it became known that Jemma became infected with the virus, I was freaking out. I knew nothing so I couldn’t help it. This was promoted as a Joss Whedon show (even tho yes, it’s technically his brother as showrunner) & I’d seen a character early on in a show before. The Whedons like emotional rollercoasters. I was scared. Now, Fitz being the awesome bb he is decides to help Jemma come up with an anti-serum. When I saw him run into that lab knowing he could get infected too & determined to save her, I think a part of me knew it was because he loved her beyond like a sister. All I knew was it tugged at my heartstrings & was cheering. And later when she went to jump out of the Bus & he screamed her name, they had me hook, line & sinker even if she didn’t make it. Thank goodness Ward saved her though. And we got the softest scene ever with Jemma calling Fitz the true hero & giving him a cheek kiss. I still say that look after she leaves the room meant that he realized her feelings for her or something. It meant something I tell you. lol  

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3) when I knew they were OTP status (as in there was literally no other ship for them I would want)

It’s hard picking a moment because honestly once I shipped them I was sold. lol The thing is I was binge-watching AoS by this point. The second I got done with 1x06 I was fangirling to my friends saying “Am I allowed to ship this?!” I got yes’s back so without watching further I went vid watching. lol So when I say they had me, I mean it. But yeah 1x07 was really good too tho because it showed how much Jemma herself cared about him too. Fitz was going out in the field with just Ward. Jemma is naturally terrified and tells him to be careful. Not to mention, packs him his favorite sandwich like a true wifey. ;) Then proceeds to spend the rest of the episode worrying about him & trying her best to make sure he is. Despite her later obvious crush on new team member Trip, girl always cared about Fitz on level that always felt beyond friendship even in S1. 

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4) Favorite quote

I mean… there’s many of them that came later that probably could be put here instead but I’m gonna go with the iconic scene that made me ship them in the first place:

 “Cuz I’m pretty sure every minute of every day you’ve been stuck in a lab right beside me. At the Academy, at SciOps(?), this plane… you’ve been besides me the whole damn time.”

5) Favorite scene

Oh man… favorite Fitzsimmons scene ever? This is hard. I can think of a few but I’m gonna go with when they officially got together in 3x17. There was just something so them about it. After an ep of the usual craziness that is AoS, it’s a moment of calmness where they’re just talking & comforting each other. Jemma laying her head on his shoulder just felt so natural & their handholding so it only made sense that they were drawn to each other & made the move. Fitz hesitates like he had been all season but thankfully this time it’s just because he’s worried they’re moving too fast & it’s adorable. And Jemma’s just like, dude how long have we known each other?? 10 years? lol And the joking about space & her kissing him to shut him up. I can’t. Perfect. Also their wedding was lovely & appropriate. I honestly didn’t know if AoS would do them justice since there’s always so much chaos going on but they let them have their moment. :’) Tho ofc that was kinda snapped away from us in the finale… *sigh*

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6) Scene that made me cry

Um, where exactly does one start with these two tbh?? 1x06 made me emotional but it was 1x22 that broke me. Fitz ready to die to save Jemma & also confesses his feelings for her as he tells her this?!? I will never be over that scene. The acting breaks my heart it’s so good. Her “NOOOOOO” = his “JEMMMMAAA!” in 1x06. There’s others I could list but this one ALWAYS gets me.

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7) Scene that pissed me off

Another question where it’s like where do I start with these two?? First off, I was pissed when it was revealed that Jemma had a lover while she stuck in the other dimension in S3 & it just seemed unnecessary. Then came 3x08. Fitz finally kisses her almost like a challenge. Then Jemma kisses Fitz & it was like, yay!!!! And then 5 seconds later Fitz lets out those dreaded words “We’re cursed” I was like, seriously?! Why must you mess with my emotions?! After all this time, this was Fitz’s reason to push pause? ughhh And lastly, since I caught up, they technically killed Fitz in the finale? (In the lamest way btw) But then there’s another version of him stuck in space that they’re gonna save but has no knowledge what happened at all in S5?? Am I supposed to be relieved? I mean, yeah I am but if they had really gone out that way & thought that was satisfying enough as an ending… what the hell???

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8) Favorite underrated moment

These two have a lot of underrated adorable moments. I’m gonna go with this because it was so sweet & the look on Fitz’s face at the end of it. Gah. Nice little moment of Fitz pining & Jemma being totally oblivious to the effect she’s having on him.

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9) Song that makes me think of them

I made a video of them to Munich by The Fray once & still think it fits them well. A song I really wanted to vid them to once was With or Without You. There’s two covers I love. One by Boyce Avenue & Kina Grannis. The other is Kye Kye. The song is so fitting since Fitzsimmons are so inseparable yet they’re always getting separated by something. It’s frustrating. lol

Munich

Boyce Avenue Cover

Kye Kye Cover

10) Favorite video of them: 

[akashiayakashi]

so  I finished ndrv3

Overall overall: HAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS SO META NKKLK. And I played for 60+ hours....that’s long, dude.

Anyway

Reactions thru the game but w/o pictures bc I’m lazy:

so I let myself fangirl over Amami bc I love his design and was like oh he’s komaeda-like (so he’s probably impt) tho I’m sure he’ll die bc I can feel it in my bones but well HE DOES DIE BUT PUCHA FIRST VICTIM AMPUTA I WAS SHOOKT SIS.

tbh i shouldn’t have been surprised bc the first victim is always someone heavily involved in the first chapter and since they already killed the og partner in dr, they went with the red herring *upside-down smile emoji  x 3 here*

THEN KAEDE MY HEART BROKE BC YOU DIDN’T ONLY BETRAY SHUICHI YOU BETRAYED ME TuT but don’t get me wrong I love Kaede like a lot. I’m just sad that it had to be that way....she sort of struck me as a very genki Naegi tho Naegi is really more for the hope and trust for everyone while Kaede is more for the hopeful happy end? Tho man I cried so much when she died. AND DAMN LIKE SHE DID THAT WHOLE SPEECH WITH SHUICHI AND I WAS LIKE “wow it’s like when Nanami talked to Hinata“ FUCKING I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

tbh I sorta spoiled myself bc I wanted to know who killed Amami but I didn’t really get what I was reading bc you know, Amami’s case has a lot going on, so I didn’t understand that Kaede was gonna die and I was just really shocked. THEY KILL YOU OFF

Me to twitter and my friends: danganronpa is so fucking edgy HAHAHAHA

Then kaito really tried to pick Shuichi up ahh my soul bro.

Kirumi dying made me sad like ahhhh no girl ily pls no. I was actually really scared of who was gonna die bc Kaito kept doing all these death flags sjhcbsdjh

Hoshi never had a chance :( I just got really sad that he didn’t have anything in the motive video (even tho everything is fictional, all their feelings were real okay and he just resigned himself to death :( )

I knew Angie was gonna die and I was sure Korekiyo was gonna be a culprit bc idk it just seemed obvious and maybe that’s why I was kind of disappointed bc it /was/ too obvious,,, like I didn’t even need spoilers, I just /knew/

Like that line where Oma said that he felt bored bc the case seemed too easy that Korekiyo was obviously the culprit? I felt that. His obsessive love for his sis aka him sacrificing good girls for her like bb no THAT’S WRONG YOUR SIS WOULDN’T HAVE WANTED THAT tho I was sad that his soul never reached her but well those 99 souls deserved better, bessie,,,,,,,,(tho the 97 were fabricated, he still got rid of Angie and Tenko smh) (not comparable to Mikan I’d say bc Mikan was struck with the despair disease,,,,)

I did like that we were able to propel Himiko’s chara devt BUT AT WHAT COST NO I DIDN’T WANT BEST GIRL TENKO TO DIE EVEN THO I KNEW I KNEW IT WAS FUCKING COMING I WANNA CRY PUTANG INA

I liked Himiko’s development later on bc you really see her shine after she finally tries to start living tho I’m still sad that it had to be this wayjh hbjxb is

the virtual world avis were so cute

ahhh poor Gonta tho. He just sort of accepted it and no one could do anything.

Don’t talk to me about the Kaito and Oma chapter because it has a left a void in my heart....Oma died for nothing you could say bc Shuichi figured it all out and that wasn’t the end of the killing game...Kaito believed in Shuichi and knew he was about to die and just accepted it...ahhh soul bro. I cry. they cry. we all cry.

MAKI FUCKING CONFESSED WHILE CRYING JUST BEFORE KAITO WAS ABOUT TO DIE CAN YOU JUST. and what Kaito wished in the end was for everyone to smile and for Maki to love herself and that it’d be easy since she was able to love some guy like him sjbdvdsjh he’s such a shounen protag lol but I’m weak to those things. Tho since I was sick and it was 2 am, I just didn’t have any energy to feel all the sads ....

Kiibo went off wewz.I was like, was your ahoge an antenna????? And I lowkey thought that some Naegi-esque person was the inner person and well we find out later it’s the public, wewz indeed.

Looking at Oma’s stuff made me sad like HE REALLY TRIED TO END IT and went with extreme ways and everyone really believed he was evil....it’s v sad.

Man, Tsugumi went OFF and I loved it. Like, it was just so entertaining to watch her change into all the characters and be super enthused about the game. OKAY THO LIKE LEMME TALK ABOUT VAs FOR A SECOND (just skip the bullets to read on further)

Megumi Hayashibara’s voice is so soft and gentle and I loved her Shuichi. I def had childhood crushes on Anna and Haibara and okay that is a total plus tho Shuichi is my son that must be protected.

I’ve never watched Fairy Tail or TTGL so I wasn’t really familiar with Kakki but omg his voice really stood out to me. I loved his Kiibo and it’s so nice and gentle and I just!!!! It’s hard to see him as Natsu a bit after this experience so I’m pretty interested to hear him in more hyped role. REALLY BECAME A FAN

Maaya Sakamoto, thank u for surviving til the end, I loved hearing your voice sjdhzbcvdsjhb OKAY I’M JUST A BIG MAAYA FAN OKAY. Okay.

OKAY OKAY OKAY I LOVE HIRO SHIMONO AND HIS OMA WAS SO GOOD. HIRO SHIMONO FOREVER ILYSM

KimuRyou is one of my fave VAs no doubt and I knew he could pull off Kaito well since recently he’s really taken a lot of passionate sporty roles which sort of fits Kaito (even tho he can’t do 50 push-ups, but it’s okay bb, I can’t either). He did well though I still prefer his acting on roles like Shouma and Hachiken but still KIMURYOU I LOVE SO MUCH OKAY

I don’t remember Kenichi Suzumura’s acting that well as Hikaru bc the last time I watched Ouran was a long time ago but I liked their Korekiyo a lot haha

Megumi Ogata cameos here and MAN I LOVE HER OKAY I LOVE HER VOICE ACTING SO MUCH. HOW THERE’S SO MUCH NUANCE IN HER NAEGI AND HER KOMAEDA AND LIKE SHE’S JUST AMAZING SO OFC I WAS JUST SO HAPPY TO HEAR HER EVEN IF IT’S JUST A FEW LINES

Megumi Toyoguchi as Junko is always a pleasure to have bc seriously...they’re amazing

idk if you guys know but Nanami is my wife....and HanaKana is my queen....SEEING/HEARING THEM WAS JUST AHHHH IF NANAMI TOLD ME TO STAY I MIGHT HAVE but thankfully that line didn’t go to her hahahah anyway...if you don’t know HanaKana...gift yourself by watching anime w/ her, you’ll thank me later

Anyway, I like the last trials bc that’s when VAs go all out so it’s always just a treat if you’re a fan like me haha (tho I guess I’m more casual than most??)

GOODNESS WHEN THEY STARTED PLAYING CLAIR DE LUNE WHEN EVERYTHING WAS FUCKING DESPAIR WOW WOW WOW THAT’S SOME GENIUS RIGHT THERE. HIT IT WHERE IT HURTS WHY DON’T YOU

V3 = 53....MAN THAT WAS P SMART WE WERE FOOLED

Okay, I like how the last people who survived are the ones who learned most from the game?

Shuichi - weak personality at the start but learned how to become stronger thru relying on friends and believing in people

Maki - hated herself for being an assassin but found warmth in friendship and belief in herself

Himiko - lazy personality at first and very dependent but manage to pull herself together for the sake of her friends

Kiibo - he technically /doesn’t/ survive but he still sort of counts? He was relying on his inner voice and had greatly felt isolated bc he was a robot but in the end, chose to believe in his friends and in his own conviction

I think the main theme is that “You’re not alone.“ It goes with that attitude towards hope that Danganronpa has.

And the thing is, they even criticize themselves for it. The game is so meta with how it critiques society for choosing entertainment at the cost of other people. Hope makes you yearn for better things, but it’s compassion that really gets through to people. What the kids believed in was in their friendship and in compassion. Selflessness to end their lives in hopes of a better changed world and like it was done brilliantly.

AND OKAY WE THINK THAT THIS IS HOW IT ENDS AND WE ACCEPT THAT ENDING BC IT’S SAD BUT IT’S SATISFYING AND YOU LEARNED FROM IT AND DEFINITELY LEAVES AN IMPRESSION BUT

the epilogue comes up and you see that they survive and you heart is all warm bc hope and compassion did win afterall (just in a very different way from the twisted perception of hope they had)

I feel like a lot of games have been touching on how the masses really affect things in society (like P5′s storyline) and it really makes you take a look on how you’re viewing and taking in media.

I like how they talk about the perception of fiction and reality and how reality is really how you interpret the world. You gotta go and reach for the truth for yourself, and even then, you’ll interpret it in your own way...which makes me have flashbacks about my philo 1 class hahahah

Some long overall thoughts:

Wow, was this edgy and fucked up

Kaito is my fave but I’m still against his gender-role-ing people smh. He’s my son and my soul bro BUT shuichi and maki, pls put some sense into him

Shuichi is a child that must be protected

I think I would have liked SaiMatsu more if ya know, she didn’t die early but I’ll go with my sort of unidentifiable feelings for them. I love them but I also don’t know where it stands bc I don’t like insta-love, you feel me??

AmaMatsu would have been cute if they didn’t you know...die so early

Oma was lying everyone, especially himself, and that makes me sad...

Tenko is best girl and she needs a girlfriend

Tenko/Himiko is more friendship for me bc it’s kinda one-sided romantically for me?? I really like Tenko/Angie tho like imagine Tenko->Himiko normal hs/college au where Tenko is trying to get Himiko to take the hint but then Angie enters and Himiko gets attached to her and Tenko is sorta against Angie bc she’s jealous but Tenko/Angie develops and all is good. In this fic, I shall

Miu was kinda entertaining bc of the gap bc she can’t take insults lol but I honestly thought she wouldn’t kill someone (Oma pa, wow sis, tough opponent tbh tho I guess it makes sense bc kaito and oma have this hate thing going on so motive is already there) tho in the end she got killed by the gentlest character :(

gonta isn’t stupid or dumb y’all....he was out of society for so long and grew up in the wild but he can speak proper japanese?? he’s idealistic but he’s not dumb omg

Kaito being hurt being called dumb bc he’s technically book smart pero di lang halata hahahah ily bb lol

KaiMaki hurts me and I felt that tho it did feel kinda one-sided for me like Maki->Kaito bc Kaito is more for just let’s all-be-friends-(except oma lmao)-:D

BUT KAITO AND SHUICHI ARE SOUL BROS OKAY like friendship otp among the three of them with Maki is strong. Kaito at least admits his jealousy for Shuichi BUT PULLS THROUGH WITH TELLING SHUICHI HE’S GOTTA DO WHAT HE’S GOTTA DO FOR THE TRUTH and unlike some fake bros there *ahemjunpeiahem* who tell you you’re friends but doesn’t follow through and thinks of their ego more in the end (shout out to ryuji bc you’re a great bro too)

OuMota has this sorta hate ship going on and I’m kinda on board it hahahahaah

I still wish we had more Kaede and Amami...it’s what we all deserve

I feel like I shouldn’t have spoiled myself so that the shock value would have been bigger but I just can’t control myself can I smh

I learned Tsugumi was the mastermind early on so it was kinda fun seeing her not-so-obvious attempts to get the killing game going

the full circle thing is really....good shit

it’s not perfect but it was a great game truly (a lot of characters could have been fleshed out more, some things were too predictable, etc)

BUT IT’S SO LONG I FELT LIKE I WAS RUSHING THRU OTHER STUFF BC LIKE THE OTHER 2 GAMES WERE JUST ABOUT 30 HOURS AND THIS ONE TOOK ME TWICE AS LONG (I dilly--dallyed a lot and stayed in the casino a fair amount of time but still, it’d still be about 45-55 hours??? )

anyway this was great

[truthbeetoldmedia]

Wynonna Earp 3x02 "When You Call My Name" Review

Hello, a crestfallen Earper here *waves sadly*. Not really sure how to start — I’ve rewritten this review three times — so here goes my Wynonna Earp episode 3x02 “When You Call My Name” review, accompanied by the five stages of grief.

“Geez, We’re having a day” - Wynonna Earp

We pick up right where we left off at the end of the Season 3 premiere last week, with Wynonna and Waverly in a bad car accident that was apparently a hunting tactic of a gnarly people eating, voice stealing demon that lives in a cabin in the woods (cliche much, demon?). Wynonna awakes literally halfway down the side of a cliff...how she got there still puzzles me, but that is the least concern I had watching this episode.

She is still in her fancy “frock” (thanks for the colorful word, Mama Earp) from her run in with the vampires last episode. She is banged up and literally freezing, realizing her body is going into shock only after she recognizes she’s having a full on conversation with her mom on the side of a cliff, when she knows her mom is actually a patient in a nearby mental institution.  

It was actually such a great way to get to know “Mama” Earp, through Wynonna’s mind's eye, making quite the juxtaposition from the slightly raving Mama we met in the season premiere.  

Illusion!Mama Earp gives Wynonna a pep talk to climb to safety, but in doing so she has to leave Peacemaker down on the side of the cliff...which poses problems later. And after she's back on solid ground she grabs her coat and a swig of whiskey from the crashed truck and is off to save her sister, demons be danged!

“Secrets suck, I hate them!” - Jeremy Chetri

Over at Black Badge, the day just keeps getting worse. Nicole, of course, wasn’t convinced by the demon impersonating a chill Waverly. Jeremy confirms what killed all the people at the bar from the previous episode — it was a demon that can apparently apparate from one victim to another so quickly it made the mass murder seem like it happened at once. And they think he’s been doing it as a blood sacrifice to Bulshar for years and years, how reassuring! *insert nervous laughter*

The team knows they need to stop this demon fast, but first they gotta get the team together. Jeremy and Dolls obviously have a few secrets going on between them but Dolls keeps giving Jeremy the “don’t you dare” look. Upon my rewatch of this episode, I realized I should’ve felt more primed for the inevitable setup of what happens to Dolls in the last five minutes, I was but a sweet summer child when I was watching live and did not look for the blatant clues laid out before me.

“Craft night is Thursdays.” - Doc Holliday

Dolls goes to collect Doc so the team can assemble. Doc is downright FROSTY to Dolls and is missing that trademark sarcasm and humor that makes him so delightful. He is sad about Baby Alice, but more so his problem is that he died back in that alternate timeline in Season 2 when Dolls shot him. And he went to hell.

For a man that’s lived 150 years, most of those with his “curse” of immortality, that’s gotta be a very new and scary feeling, knowing you can die and that you went to hell. He seems to think he can’t be redeemed from that fate, and I hope he realizes that’s not true. “You and I are destined for the dark,” he tells Dolls, anger and anguish flashing in his wild eyes.

Dolls does not accept this gloomy fate, stating, “We’re not the same, I don’t need a threat of damnation to fight for the right side.” Ouch, what a burn. I hope Doc remembers Dolls’ words for the rest of his life. Doc has a chance to really step up his role in the team after this episode, I hope he rises out of his depression spiral and to the occasion of being a better team player.

Doc catches Jeremy looking for something in the basement of the bar and Jeremy alludes to Doc that there is definitely a problem with Dolls’ drugs...But before Doc can get too heated Nicole texts hims stating she’s found the Earp truck, prompting Doc to tell Jeremy, “Get Dolls, we’re gonna need him. Don’t tell him I said that.”

I am SOOO sad that we won’t have the mutual grumpy bro frenemies relationship of Doc and Dolls after this episode. It adds so much life and one liners to this wild show.

“I swear on my favorite boy band” - Wynonna Earp

Poor Waverly is still strung up like a slain rabbit in the demons cabin, with no voice to cry for help, silently hoping Wynonna and the team come for her. The demon booby trapped his cabin, as a poor lost hunter finds out the hard way; the demon lures the hunter to his death by doorway garrote, crying for help with Waverly's stolen voice. As only Wynonna could state, “This is some kinda crazy Little Mermaid sh*t” when she arrives at the cabin to save her kid sis. Of course, being sisters makes the whole talking without talking thing pretty easy and Wynonna and Waverly even have a heart to heart about Mama without Waverly using words.

I’d also like to point out the cabin demon saying “The trees are changing, I’m getting lost in my own woods, the animals are leaving,” given that the animals didn’t leave with his demonic presence but are now that Bulshar’s presence is there….CONCERNS me. I have a feeling this seemingly random line is gonna come back to haunt the team and the town pretty soon as was proof of the rock n roll tour bus vampires last episode, Purgatory is about to get a whole lot weirder.

Of course Wynonna is wily and cunning, and bests the demon at his own game by running away and using a tape recorder to make him think she fell in his pit trap, only to kick him in herself (but when she left him he was “mostly” dead since she didn’t use peacemaker to dispatch him, I hope she went back and finished the job) . She is caught in one of his tree snares and strung up to be cut down by a still grumpy Doc and the ever reliable officer Haught.

Wynonna still checking out Doc’s butt while hanging upside down is just another iconic Wynonna moment from this episode. If only they all went back to Black Badge and had drinks with Dolls and Jeremy and it was the end of another crazy demons in town episode….but alas, this is where the episode takes a sudden “wtf” turn and I — and most of us live watchers — were left reeling for hours afterwards.

As Doc and Nicole help Wynonna down we cut to someone watching in the woods. It’s the dreaded demon Bulshar himself and his “bodyguard” demon, looking on as the team runs to free Waverly. Insert Han Solo saying, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

“Wynonna is gonna need you more than ever” - Deputy Marshall Xavier Dolls

So here we are, friends, the reason I have dragged my feet on this review the last few days. The one thing about these last few scenes is we get to see the beautiful snowy Alberta terrain in all its natural rugged beauty.

Wynonna needs to retrieve Peacemaker, so they are back at the cliff, and Nicole is rapelling down via rope to get grab the weapon (her being the only skilled rope climber out of the current group). Of course Dolls shows up to assist and assess; Nicole is literally tethered to the rope at the mercy of Wynonna and Doc, while Dolls helps Waverly to his car when lo and behold the “apparating” demon appears!

It’s Bulshar’s bodyguard demon from earlier! And he is Nightcrawler-from-X-Men fast. He severs Nicole’s rope; Wynonna saves her by grabbing the rope and holding on for dear life; Doc goes into gunslinger mode; but the demon is too fast for him and he renders Doc unconscious in less than 20 seconds. Dolls sees the mayhem, shoves Waverly in the truck, drinks his “dragon drugs” and goes up against the demon.

As the demon is trying to take out Wynonna he gleefully states “You cannot kill me with mortal weapons” as Dolls shoots at him. Waverly answers Jeremy’s emergency comcall informing her that the drugs he’s been making for Dolls have made him “unstable.” Meanwhile, Nicole begs Wynonna to let go and save herself but she refuses, and Waverly adds just enough strength to pull Nicole to safety.

The demon tells them, “Someone must die here today, the earth lusts for blood.” (YIKE!) Doc comes to and is up on his feet they all have that look like “there’s a good chance we’re all gonna die” but Dolls grabs onto the bodyguard demon and doesn’t let go, his eyes turning yellow and his strength increasing. All of a sudden, flames are shooting out of his mouth, engulfing himself and the demon. The demon is incinerated by Dolls’ dragon flame, and Dolls is left lifeless on the ground.

“No more pain. No more drugs. No more demons.” - Wynonna Earp

Wynonna and the team rush to Dolls’ side, checking his pulse, his breath, for any sign that he’s alive. Even Doc is shaken to his very core when Dolls doesn’t “wake up.” Wynonna and Waverly begin to cry and Wynonna, like many of us, is in disbelief.

“He saved us. He saved me. How is this okay? How is he lying here?” Wynonna, bb, I was asking my TV the same questions. She keeps saying, “Open your eyes,” it’s heart wrenching and honestly confusing because it doesn’t feel like a final death in the moment? I was thinking it was gonna be like Supernatural or The Vampire Diaries where it’s a temporary death that they have to “fix.”

It wasn’t until afterwards when I got online and saw the article from Emily Andras (the showrunner) and once I learned Shamier Anderson was moving onto Hollywood projects that I realized it was final. I was left feeling kinda numb. Like, that’s all we get?

Yes, he did go out a hero saving his friends; yes, he did kill the demon, but in the grand scheme of “leading man exiting series” it didn’t feel grand enough? It was too short. What about tying up loose ends? How did he become a hybrid lizard man? What about his and Wynonna’s will they won’t they relationship? How did he join Black Badge?

I have so many unanswered questions about his character! It just doesn’t feel complete.

I love this show a lot. It’s fun! Daring! It thinks outside the box! BUT I have noticed sometimes plot threads are dropped or aren’t coherent. (Like the Season 2 finale scene between Nicole and Dolls, what even was that for? Will we ever know?!?!) And I for one HATE plot holes or misdirection in TV shows, I feel like they do it for shock or to keep you guessing…but if there isn’t any payoff or it’s done haphazardly it’s not worth my time.

The more I cover TV shows for critical analysis or review platforms like Truth Bee Told, the more annoyed I get with the way some things are written/executed. This wasn’t a terrible job by far. But why couldn’t the whole episode be dedicated to Dolls' story? Having a good moment with each character, a little backstory fleshing out etc. Instead, they give him the last five minutes of the episode to go out in a “blaze of glory” and leave Wynonna wailing in the snow.

I will hold out judging more until I see next week’s episode! Maybe they do some post mortem work on Dolls story that will satisfy me...but I’m actually kinda afraid that’s not going to happen. But until next week I will stop my rambling about it.

Final thoughts

Besides the ending we got some fabulous witty one liners, great physical acting (Melanie gave that charades scene her all and it was amazing!)

I loved learning more about Mama Earp (her name is Michelle, by the way).

We have some things that will probably come back up, like the forest literally changing.

Bulshar is shaping up to be the worst villain Wynonna has had, but he needs to talk soon, I grow tired of these “looks on menacingly” once an episode scenes. I need him to be fleshed out like Bobo (who is still by far my fave baddie to date).

I give this episode 3 ½ out of 5 bees because I’m feeling a little petty but also because I feel this episode wasted too much time setting up what should’ve been the focal point of the episode the sacrifice and death of Dolls. Until next time, Earpers!

Wynonna Earp airs Fridays at 9/8c on Syfy.

Gina’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝.5