#and i dont wanna be flaky
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no happy points today (had a pretty terrible day, ill just scream into the void)
cuz listen - why is it so fucking hard not to run at the slightest semblance of something NICE
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azureforreal · 11 months ago
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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I drew thia in a rush with one chalk brush
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faaun · 5 months ago
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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bloodsbane · 7 months ago
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i have been making an extremely conscious effort to not bite my lip this week and it hasn't been 100% working BUT. it's been way better than it usually is and i think im getting close to having it be like. not a total disaster as always
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sheppycrazyworld · 2 years ago
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I've always been addicted to The gender swap thing... So here's a little draw of my htf au in genderswap (well only Flippy xd)
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discobearfanclub · 1 year ago
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Say what do Flaky and Disco Bear think about eachother?
They are buddies!
I think discobear talks to her more because she’s too shy to tell him to go away, cuz giggles n petunia are always very outwardly anti-discobear LUL (rightfully so !) so she is the only one that talks to him kinda.
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piplupod · 8 months ago
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i feel a feeling that is genuinely intolerable and go "okay what do i do with this"
therapist brain says "feel ur feelings, its unhealthy to suppress all the time." rational brain says, "hi if we sit with this emotion then we are going to either be bleeding or dead in approximately ten minutes. so whats another option." therapist brain goes "wellll i guess in that case maybe u can distract urself idk, that can be a coping strategy sometimes." rational brain glances at emotion, shakes its head and shoots back "yeahhhh no can do there bud. this one's a real whopper and distractions ain't gonna cut it this time."
both sections of the brain shrug at each other and then The Disorder brain raises its hand smugly and simpers out "hiiii remember me? yeah this is the reason i exist teehee :) give me five minutes and I'll have an amnesia wall erected and another part of the brain shoved into the forefront and then we'll be right as rain! and this emotion can go rot in the locked cabinet of horrors until another part accidentally stumbles upon it again in the future or until the lock breaks. :)"
#girl help I've just been drawing and then BOOM. unbearable feelings drowning me !!!! drownding !!! i am drowndinging !!!#i dont wanna do this anymoreeeee im so tired of this#i go ''wow this sure is intolerable! how have i ever dealt w this!'' and then the DID does its thing some more👍#''gee that sounds so helpful!'' my body is in shambles from the overwhelming amounts of undealt with trauma :]#there are many other downsides but . i ain't getting into all that dhfjdldl#im just . grrrrr. maybe its bc i was drawing another part of the brain but c'mon 😭 i was drawing them HAPPY !! playing!! having fun!!#trying to make smth nice for us !!!! god damn this is so ridiculous#i want to go to bed fjfkdl im so tired and frustrated w everything man im trying so hard and it all seems to go towards nothing#im just not doing well idk also this counselor i have has been so flaky and its making me feel so ... eeurgghh#i understand they dont think im a suicide risk so im low on the priority list but I'd like to just... be a priority for somebody just once#boohoo poor me etc etc. other ppl need the help more than i do i know. im just. tired.#there isnt rly a lot anybody can do anyways to help i guess#still makes me insane thinking abt how the social worker had nothing for me except ''well ... u could go to the homeless shelter''#im just... theres so many fucked up things abt that. sigh. oh well oh well oh well.#just keep making my shitty art and trudging thru the days and finding good things in a day when i can scrape em together !!!!#argh. sigh. I'll go figure out some food to eat tonight.#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#suicide mention#self harm mention
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hxvemxnd · 1 year ago
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(。・・。)
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july-19th-club · 2 years ago
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at the hideous point in Being Sick where im not so congested that i cant breathe or move or think or eat and i'm not so snotty that i have to resort to plugging my nose with kleenex just to stop wiping it every ten seconds BUT my sinuses are still clogged enough that when not actively eating or drinking something the only thing i smell or taste is the stale smell of . my own clogged sinuses hell on EARTH hell on earth
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hairydykecunt · 7 months ago
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i have been feeling like actual shit
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unmeinoniwa · 2 months ago
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ㅤㅤTHE way Dark acted towards him made him wonder if they weren't compatible for each other after all ( he wished Dark wasn't so hostile over something as small as this though ). " You know I was just making a joke ... I know you don't like me very much but well, I am happy you tried to get to know me in some way. Even if you just wanted to score the top points. "
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' find it interesting all you want . ' nerd . his hands set onto his hips and he greets the other's obvious disbelief with his own ruthless leering . soon enough , a single brow twitches and his expression rankles . ' we are not best friends . '
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heremob · 4 months ago
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htf headcanons list, bitte 🦌
I'm just curious and wanna hear more about your takes on them
OH I HAVE SOME!
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I drew some of them but theres some that i will put below and others that are more domestic stuff or characters relations yk that i might just make other fanarts showing It >:D
- I really like to HC Handy as a trans woman even tho i mostly HC Handy as a trans man depends on the day!
- HC Mime as ace because his colors always remind me of the ace flag
- I HC sniffles as aroace that goes "actually 🤓☝️" and reather prefers THE KNOWLAGE out of that romance
- I HC Shifty as a trans guy too!
- I HC that Toothy is gay idk he just gives gay vibes
- HC that Petunia, Handy and Cuddles are bi!
- Lammy is a Lesbian
- Truffles is totally Aroace 👍
- Giggles is Pan so is Flippy :D
-Flaky is Non Binary they dont really care for pronouns they go by They/She/He
- i can see the Mole being on the ace spec
- i see Splendid as Aromantic! He has very aro vibes for me
-Nutty... Its something... I think he wouldn't label himself neither for gender or sexuality he would just go "candy."
- Lumpy is queer but idk what spectrum he would be maybe Aroace or Pan but cant decide It
- Pop and Disco Bear are kinda funny for me because i see them as like Bi4Bi and If Disco Bear is taking care of Cub It would be like this:
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I can totally see It that way
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moralisist · 1 year ago
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earth 42! miles x reader
summary: you just wanna understand miles and why he’s been so off. once he’s dealt with you finally ready to leave him, will he tell you the truth?
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“miles.. what’s going on?? you’ve been flaky on dates, i’m left on delivered 8 out of 10 times, you’ve even been missing school.” you’re sat on miles bed talking to him as soon as he enters his room by climbing through the window. “and you’re even coming in through the window knowing damn well your door is always open to you. if you wanna end things because you got your own shit going on then-” “no!” the first time miles speaks, its with panic.
“no baby. it’s not even like that. i just- im just dealing w a lot right now. shits busy.” he says slowly trying to speak cautiously. “oh yeah shits busy with you and your uncles shady ass business huh? you think i dont notice you miles? you think i don’t see the small ticks you have when nervous? or the way you bite your lip slightly whenever i mention about it or when you try to deflect like you’re trying to do right now? i love you miles but you know i’m not an idiot. don’t treat me like it.” “baby,” he chuckles trying to diffuse the situation. “you wouldn’t leave me, right mi amor? you just gotta understand, i’m busy i don’t have time for all the shit you talkin bout.”
you’re silent as you look in miles eyes. he’s looking at you intently really realizing that you just might leave him after all the shit he’s putting you through. he can feel his resolve crumbling. he doesn’t know how to smooth talk his way out of this. “miles all the ‘shit’ i’m talking about is us. you don’t want this do you? because i need you to let me know now. i’m tired miles. i’m exhausted feeling like i’m the only person trying to get things to work out. i wanna hear you out, i want to know what’s going on through your head but you won’t let me. i don’t know what to do. i’m so tired of calling your mom every other day to make sure you’re eating and that you’re well on days you don’t talk to me. i’m tired of writing notes for you in class so you can catch up when you barely even pay attention to when i try to teach you. and i’m tired of sitting at booths while waiters look at me with pity after saying ‘would you like the check?’ when you don’t come for hours. i’m really tired miles.” you sigh as you hold your face in your hands finally relieved to get to tell him all the shit you’ve been holding in.
miles genuinely wants to cry. he’s been so selfish. he knew deep down even when pushing it away he’s been hurting you. he knew he was hurting you when his mom would give him the silent treatment after receiving one of your calls and telling him, “don’t string that poor girl along. you got lucky and you don’t even know it mijo.” he just didn’t know how to tell you about him being the prowler. it seems like no matter what he does, whether he tells you or not, he could lose you. when you finish speaking miles looks down at the floor blinking back tears that he doesn’t want you to see. he clears his throat before speaking.
“i’m so sorry baby.” you can hear his voice crack but he refuses to cry in front of you. “i’ll tell you everything. i’m so so sorry. i didnt mean to hurt you cariño. can i hug you baby?” he’s finally walking over to you after putting some distance between the two of you with him leaning against his window and you on the bed. you nod finally ready to get some answers from your boyfriend. he’s holding you close flipping you onto him so that you’re on his lap. he says he focuses better that way.
as he’s telling you about him being the prowler he’s playing with your shirt clearly nervous. he starts to stutter with some sentences and it makes you sad because your boyfriend never stutters. he’s always so confident so you can tell this was really affecting him. he’s rubbing your thighs while telling you stories about him and uncle aaron’s “business”. once he’s done you hug him and put your arms around him as you caress the back of his neck while he’s inhaling your scent rubbing circles with his thumb on your waist.
you move back to see him, the boy you love letting all his emotions out and finally visibly relaxing as he tells you everything he’s been wanting to tell you for months. “thank you for telling me miles. it all makes sense now but i wish you told me sooner. i don’t want you to share this burden all on your own.” you give him a warm smile and he smiles feeling such love for you. “i don’t deserve you, you know that? i know you know that.” he says easing the tension looking at you lightly laugh at his joke. “oh trust i know that. you just charity work.” you both begin to laugh finally easing into each other. “can i get a kiss baby? been needing one for so long.” you hold his face in his arms and kiss him. this kiss is a much more intimate kiss than the others. it holds emotion. he grips onto you tighter, never wanting to remember the feeling of you almost leaving him. he needs you here and he needs you here to stay. and he’s ready to man up and prove it to you.
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wlanaspo · 24 hours ago
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"How have you not eaten (over 20 cals) in a week straight?"
I've managed to ⭐ve for the past week and its actually so ez so here are some tips:
burn your tongue. eating feels painful and u js dont wanna do it anymore. i make a hot tea and take a big sip so my tongue feels dry and flaky and gross and i lose my appetite
if u often get food out of habit, do something that breaks the habit !! like dont bring any lunch or lunch money and you wont eat lunch !!
if gum and water doesnt help, stop trying. it ended up making me feel hungrier all the time. as soon as ur hungry, make up a quote for urself and write it on ur arm so it peeks out sleeves if ur wearing any but doesnt fully show. dont be basic, make up one uve never seen before. then do a hobby if u can.
HAVE SOMEONE WITH U. i literally organise to be w friends for like study sesh calls and i dont wanna eat because shes there w/ me and if she eats get a water. its better if they also have an ed because then they can hold u accountable
remember !! : every time ur stomach growls is a kg/lb u lose in future !!
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therosevest · 10 months ago
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hm feel free to tell me ur thoughts if youd like friends but basically my friends did text abt doing dinner and i was like 'im sorry i cant tn feel free to go w/o me or lmk if you wanna do another day' and ofc i caught stupid messages back just like 'booooooooooo' 'i cant till next week at least' 'what time r u busy til eye roll' and ill be honest here i fucking lied not that i should have to even give some big explanation but i was like 'well i have class till 5 (theoretically i would) and then have a meeting that doesnt have an end time' basically pretended the one from yesterday. and then i even sent a followup like 'if you guys end up just hanging out at someones place or you grab drinks or anything ill try to stop by later on' and the one sends a message back like 'do you think if we planned on a day next week you could commit to that?' fucking condescending as hell and to that i literally said 'Hm well idk' and then they were just like 'No days next week?' 'just wondering i mean bc maybe the three of us can just go and then we can plan on something lower commitment some other time.' fuck you first of all. and then a 'i get it if it's too last minute!' from my one friend um so thanks to her i guess and i sent smth kinda snarky back like 'well it's not like we had an actual commitment for any day but by all means go and ill certainly try to carve time out in my schedule some other time yeah!' and ive had the notifs muted bc i just dont want to deal with it rn. why am i not allowed to not be available why am i automatically some flaky low commitment bitch who has to be constantly berated in the chat while yall also ignore pretty much everything i say. im not doing that. and this just confirms my suspicions that they already see me in a certain way why should i have to bother when i HAVE still tried to see them and at least offer alternatives when i cant make it to things. also the semester just started like
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calciumdeficientt · 2 months ago
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Could you write Ted Thompson or Johnny Vincent relationship hcs 🤭 your hcs are so good like this is what I live for
I think I sent an ask about my ocs Toby and Dolly for ship hcs (Toby x Ted, Dolly x Johnny) but this iPad is tweaking so idk if they came thru
I really liked the choose your own adventure thing i did for the thad date hc thing so i think I’m gonna emulate that here with a first date with Ted scenario… i just.. i want to okay this is my blog!!!!! there’s also a choose your own adventure tier on my ko-fi now if anyone wants it i just…i really wanna write more stuff like this it was fun
FIRST DATE WITH TED THOMPSON CYOA
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You were late to lunch, English class had run over again because Mr Galloway had to go and print new worksheets, having spilled cheap whisky all over the original ones. Opening your locker to place your. Textbooks inside, you see a figure stop and lean on the locker beside yours, noting crazy interesting, kids at Bullworth are pretty good at stopping and pausing midway through a task. Closing your locker, you see that it was Ted Thomson leaned against the flaky blue paint of the locker “Hey, listen. I’m doing a little training session tonight, just me… Tryna keep my gains up” he flexes a little, not able to contain his little smile “You should come with, I always need a spotter.” DIALOGUE OPTIONS: “SURE, I DON’T REALLY HAVE ANYTHING GOING ON TODAY”, “UHHHH THANKS BUT NO THANKS, I DONT REALLY DO SPORTS”, “I’M SORRY, DO I KNOW YOU?”
“SURE, I DON’T REALLY HAVE ANYTHING GOING ON TODAY”: Ted smiles, happy that you’ve chosen to accept. He pushes himself off of the locker and adjusts his letterman a little bit. “Tight, meet me outside the gym at 6… wear something you don’t mind getting sweaty”
“UHHHH THANKS BUT NO THANKS, I DONT REALLY DO SPORTS”: Ted raises a brow at this, everyone at Bullworth does gym at the very least. He presses you a little more “It wont be anything crazy, I’ll go easy bro, trust me” DIALOGUE OPTIONS: “STILL NO, NOT MY SCENE” “FINE, BUT DON’T LIE TO ME”. “STILL NO, NOT MY SCENE” —>Ted crunches his face up, he didn’t understand why you were being so difficult. He’s an all American QB, you know how many people are chomping at the bit to see how he trains? “Whatever, your loss loser” Ted clears off, making sure to give you a firm shoulder tap on his way past MISSION FAIL. “FINE, BUT DON’T LIE TO ME” —> Ted’s smile widens, he seemed like he still had a chance of getting his ball in your red-zone “Right on, I’ll see you at 6, okay?”
“I’M SORRY, DO I KNOW YOU?”: “I.. uh” Ted sets his jaw and narrows his eyes a little bit, as he stands there dumbfounded, trying hard to see if you were joking. Based on your body language and general lack of interest in your tone of voice, the message was received loud and clear “Yknow what… I thought you were someone way hotter, case of mistaken identity, brochacho”. Thoroughly embarrassed, Ted walks off, likely down to the cafeteria to drown his sorrows in carbs. MISSION FAIL
At 6, you meet Ted by the door of the Gym, he’s wearing his football shirt and the smallest, tightest gym shorts he owns, if that’s not a sign of what he wants to get up to later, then I’ve got no idea what is. He smiles and approaches you “Glad too see you came, c’mon. I came early and set everything up, we can just get started” he looks to you expectantly, clearly approving of your choice of workout clothes,and very very happy to see you taking this seriously. He allows you to enter the gym. He has a couple machines set up, they’re a little worn down, clearly heavily used by the jocks in their free time. There’s a weightlifting bar with a few dusty old plates, a cross trainer and a few tackling dummies with crash mats behind them “ You know how to tackle, bro?” DIALOGUE OPTIONS: “YEAH I THINK SO, I USED TO PLAY FOOTBALL AS A KID” “NOT REALLY, BUT IT CANT BE THAT HARD, RIGHT?” “NOPE, I DONT SLAM INTO DUDES FOR FUN”
“YEAH I THINK SO, I USED TO PLAY FOOTBALL AS A KID”: Ted gives a nod of approval and allows you to approach one of the dummies, situating himself behind it in case you slip out of the tackle and get hurt, but also to provide some extra resistance if you come in a little hard “Right on, y’know you should try out sometime, we’re always on the hunt for fresh meat”
“NOT REALLY, BUT IT CANT BE THAT HARD, RIGHT?”: He doesn’t quite appreciate the fact that you think football is so easy, there’s a lot of nuance in the positioning for a tackle and avoiding a foul and whatnot, but he likes the cut of your jib and is willing to show you the ropes “Right on, man, right on. Let me help you out”
“NOPE, I DONT SLAM INTO DUDES FOR FUN”; Ted’s brows furrow. He’s thoroughly offended by your answer, nice going, punk. “Hey! I’m not like that.. I’m an all American…. And just so you know, naked twister is a good way to boost morale… and we’re not even naked, we have socks on an- why am I explaining myself to you?! Get gone, loser!” He drags you out of the gym and slams the door behind you, expect a thorough beating from the jocks in the coming days MISSION FAIL
You spend an hour or so working on tackles, 30 minutes for you, and 30 minutes for Ted. The sheer amount of forcer in his tackles leaves you winded, sore and begging for mercy. Ted just thinks you’re playing around, and goes to fetch some water for the both of you. On his return, he gestures to the weight rack and suggests you take a stab at it, having proven yourself on the tackling dummy “Hey, how about this, you take a breather and spot me, okay? Then the Tedster can help you”. His time on the bench is short and sweet, he’d already worked out his arms in the morning, and just wanted to a couple extra bench presses as a nightcap. Being the gentleman he was, he wiped the sweat off the bench once he was done, and left the plates on the pole so you wouldn’t have to fiddle around with them. “Hey, you need a spot bro?” ACTION OPTIONS: REFUSE THE SPOT, LET HIM KNOW YOURE A TOUGH COOKIE; ACCEPT THE SPOT, BUT ASK THAT HE TAKE SOME OF THE WEIGHT OFF THE BAR FOR YOU FIRST; INSIST THAT HE CONTINUE, AND YOURE FINE TO KEEP WATCH.
REFUSE THE SPOT, LET HIM KNOW YOURE A TOUGH COOKIE; Ted nods and backs away from the barbell. Unfortunately for you, Ted benches triple your body weight as a warm-up,so his usual bench press is much too heavy. Your arms give out from under the bar and it falls on your windpipe, crushing it and killing you almost instantly. Ted can’t be with someone that has such a weak windpipe, so be bails on you as you slip into oblivion, but he does show up to the funeral MISSION FAIL
ACCEPT THE SPOT, BUT ASK THAT HE TAKE SOME OF THE WEIGHT OFF THE BAR FOR YOU FIRST; Ted nods, quickly removing some of the plates for you “Sorry man, I shoulda thought of that first, I forgot you’re kinda wimpy.” He laughs a little and gets himself in the right spotting position. It’s still a little heavy, but you won’t die or anything. Ted’s right there to catch the bar before it does any serious damage.
INSIST THAT HE CONTINUE, AND YOURE FINE TO KEEP WATCH; Ted’s a little confused, he won’t lie, but he’s pretty impressed you’re still hanging around because it means he gets to show off. He benches fast, and even does some little tosses with the bar, its all fun and games until he conks himself on the head. A little embarrassing but not a dealbreaker.
Your little workout session is over almost as soon as it began, and thank god, that crosstrainer looked like some form of saw-trap,Ted must have put it out for decoration or something, because he seemed to forget about its existence altogether. Maybe he just wanted to focus on training that the pair of you could do together. Ted unlocks the gym door and the cool night breeze feels SO GOOD on your embarrassingly sweaty body. He raises a brow at you as he watches you try and get cool, and can’t seem to stifle a little chuckle. “Hey, dude, how’s about you join me in the showers for a debrief?” DIALOGUE OPTIONS: “UM… YEAH DUDE, I WAS JUST GONNA GO TO BED LIKE THIS” “I’M COOL, I WAS GONNA USE THE HOSE OUTSIDE OF HARRINGTON HOUSE” “SURE, IVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO PLAY WIDE RECEIVER!”
“UM… YEAH DUDE, I WAS JUST GONNA GO TO BED LIKE THIS”: Ted once again can’t tell if you’re joking, but while ultimately deciding to let sleeping dogs lie, he just cant help but tell you that you’re totally weird for that. “EW, foul ball man. Whatever, I was never here, okay?” all you had to do was wash your stinky ass, way to blow it in the last quarter. MISSION FAIL
“I’M COOL, I WAS GONNA USE THE HOSE OUTSIDE OF HARRINGTON HOUSE”: A little weird, sure, but Ted can respect the hustle. He hates those rich freaks as much as the next guy, even though he doesn’t know them too good. Apart from Justin… he knows Justin VERY well. “Right on man, go mark your territory”
“SURE, IVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO PLAY WIDE RECEIVER”: Ted cant help but grin, it was such a dumb joke but he didnt care. He’s managed to get a workout in, and get some action all in one night. The pair of you walk towards the showers and Ted can’t resist the urge to yell “HAHAHA TOUCHDOWN” before allowing you passage into the boys locker room, closing the door behind you.
LEVEL:CLEAR
NEW HI SCORE!
POINT BONUSES: COMPLETIION BONUS +5,CLIQUE LEADER SCORED +10, BOINK BONUS +69,PERFECT RUN BONUS +10, WEIRD AND OFFPUTTING BONUS +5, READING THE BONUSES BONUS +100
CONGRATULATIONS!
You just completed a first date with a clique leader! Excellent work fair traveller. Let me know how well you scored in the RBs/comments
PLAY AGAIN? <Y/N>
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