#and i dont think youre supposed to view this as good advice or something you should relate to | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zishu-arts · 5 months ago

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1. What's ur fav avm ep? Or generally ava ep

2. What's ur fav short?

3. And favorite character? Why is that your favorite character?

4. Do u kin anyone? Why?

5. What are your thoughts on King Orange? Personally, I do love the character but I wanna see some controversy. He was forgiven too easily. Do you think that he's affected by immense guilt of his actions? Pls go in detail as much as you wish

6. What are your favorite (hc or not) relationships? Doesn't need to be romantic. Do you have thoughts on relationships between characters that haven't interacted? Or some hc on characters that did (example: I love the hc on Purple and Red hanging out so often that Red goes to visit Purple for advice on PRANKS out of all things)

If I think of something more, I'll send it through!!

1). i dont think i can pick a favorite since there's so many but i love rewatching Lush Caves, Ultimate Minecart Race, The Chef, The Ultimate Weapon (and honestly just the entire KO arc lmfao). For AVA its gotta be The Showdown it's just SOOO GOOD the animation, the concepts, the plot, ahhhh

2). hard once again, but Music Lesson is so goddamn funny

3). THE DARK LORD THE DARK LORD THE DARK LORD (red is my second favorite tho). okay so, honestly it's just the amount of potential and trauma i could give him. i love his character and lore like, the idea of the Mission Code. what does it mean that you've been created for the sole purpose to destroy, and what does it mean that the person you're made to destory become your best friend? like, the existance of that code brings up so much potential and you could literally take it in so many ways. and like, just the story of cho and dark being two people who were coded for a purpose and run away. what...happens to that purpose? what are you supposed to do now? it's very "what am i if not a weapon?" "yourself. isn't that a wonderful person to be?" (i also dont remember where this quote is from). and also, i look at this little bastard and i think ah yes, he is a goddamn maniac. absolutely insane. i can make him as unhinged as possible and i think that's amazing.

i also think it's great that it's so easy for me to just do whatever i want with him like he's some dress up doll. i've got a genderbent version of him. i've got him with ADHD. i've got him with autism. i've got him trans. he's depressd. he has anxiety. he's in love. there's no saving him.

i also like that like. he's dead. he might not be dead. who fucking knows? and he's such an interesting character, is he evil, is he nice, does he care, what does he like? i want to know everything about him and i want to squish him like a little ball

(i alos like that he's very easy to self project into)

4). hmmmm honestly? i only ever kinned like one character (yuki from horimiya) so im not too familiar with actually kinning. if i had to pick, probably red, mostly cause i see him as a hyper possibly ADHD guy who's always running head first into situations without a thought and think damn he's jus tlike me fr

5). KO/MANGO TALK LETS GO !! you're def right, he was forigven too soon, but i like to think or hope that they at least had a bit of bonding. okay well first off i want to start off with: i see a lot of content where we view mango as like around 20 years old which i want to immedately have on the table: what do you mean 20 years old. he's got a goddamn kid that seems to be maybe 8-10, he's got to be at least reaching 40 by the time we actually see him in AVM. and no, 40 is not too old, they can still do backflips and fight ppl (as long as mango maintained a healthy lifestyle with daily exercise, healthy diet, and good sleep).

i love the fact that he went evil because he lost his son, and that he got lost in his anger and started hurting everyone around him. although i do think his and purple's relationship could do with A LOTT of work. their trust was broken over and over again (mostly on purple's end) and im not sure mango particularily remembers how to treat a child well. and did mango ever like,,,yk,,,properly grieve for his son? for all we know, he went home the same day he lost gold, punched his wall a lot, then went straight to working on the staff. now that he doesn't have that drive anymore, i think that's all going to catch up to him. he really needs to properly grieve and mourn and recover before he goes about doing anything else.

he can, in fact however, be a good person/father as long as he's got that under the belt. (which you could def see that he was pretty swag when he still had gold). i personally see him as a raspy and gruff guy so he's also a man of very few words. that also means he probably has a buttload of communcation issues that is gonna affect his relationship with other people. he has got A LOT to work on

i also want to mention how i don't particulary enjoy the "overprotective father that trails their child everywhere". i don't think a lot of people view mano this way either, but i just want it on the table that even though mango would definitely be protective of purple, he won't be weird about it

6). ohhhh okay okay if you've read my fics you know i am in love with the "siblings victim & dark" as well as "siblings chosen and second". i feel like vic and dark are both insane and enable the worst, unhinged parts of each other. and then chosen and second are pretty much polar opposites with "doesn't say a word + yapper"

i also love it when CC treat red as like the youngest hyper sibling bc he really does give off that energy. also I AGREE WITH YOU purple and red together were so cute it was so unexpected but i love that

i also really really really want to see dark and purple interact with each other. mostly because they're probably the two most least likely characters to ever see each other. but i like the idea of dark terrorizing purple and it works because purple the whole time is like 'holy fuck this is that terrorist holy fuck shit oml'

i also want to see purple and mango interact with alan. im not sure if they ever did? but id like to imagine one day alan logs onto his computer and sees these two random sticks on his screen and is like who the fuck are you guys

(my guy desperately needs a VPN)

i ADORE blue + yellow. both in a platonic and romantic sense. they're like skater girl + nerd girl to me. they're so goddamn adorable and i'm very obsessed with seeing them. they hold hands. they're polar opposites. they're always together. they're the duo that if you just see one of them it seems wrong. if one of them is missing, you automatically ask the other one where they are, because they no doubt would know. gods they're so entwined with each other

thanks for the ask !!

#zishu speaks #animator vs animation #ava #animator vs minecraft #avm #i apologize in advance if i clog the fandom tag

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inutaffy · 1 year ago

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🧍🧍🧍

im not sorry. im pulling up a chair and you will be stuck here for a millennia

SO. NUMBER 1. “do you know why you’re leader of this team?” “well uh yeah. bc i asked to be? u said it wasnt bc of my skills.” THIS RIGHT THE FUCK HERE. OKAY. BITCH.

LEO ALREADY HAD SO MANY DOUBTS ABT BEING LEADER MAN ITS AWFUL. LIKE. FUCK. and this isnt to say that leo is like confident in his abilities bc HE IS. HE REALLY IS HE KNOWS HE’S GOOD WHEN HE NEEDS TO BE but like that doesn’t immediately get rid of the feelings of inadequacy, ESPECIALLY after he got beat down by shredder in s2 and the earth got destroyed in s3

to him, he’s just leader bc he asked to be, nothing special abt it. its not bc he’s the smartest or the strongest or fastest. he just asked and splinter said lmao sure why not (LISTEN I KNOW THAT THAT WASNT REALLY SPLINTERS REASONING. leo was always gonna end up as leader bc he IS GOOD AT IT. he knows how to lead n he’s inspiring or whatever but he doesnt say this to leo until later) so to him there’s NOTHING STOPPING HIM FROM BEING REPLACED IF BE SCREWS UP ONE TO MANY TIMES. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? IT LITERALLY MAKES EVERYTHING MAKE SENSE. like the shift in how he views leadership after s1. how he CONSTANTLY sacrifices himself for the cause bc WHAT ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THINGS SPIRAL OUT OF HIS CONTROL?? just. dude. i fucking hate this. he sacrifices himself at any minor inconvenience (not really but 😐) and i hate that it makes since. he is only leader bc he asked, there isnt some special skill keeping him in this position (THERE IS. the others would be soo screwed if he wasnt leader. they’d make it obviously but DAMN) so he’s easily replaceable, and if something goes wrong to the point where he needs to REALLY get his shit together and DO SOMETHING TO FIX IT, HE SACRIFICES HIMSELF. BC WHAT ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO. he does it when they had to destroy the technodrome, he does it when he goes to fight shredder alone, he does it when they needed to get that black hole generator piece from that one lady, and he does it when trying to destroy the triceraton mothership. its the worst thing in the whole fucking world

number 2. “i knew that one day you would grow up to be the leader of this team, and when I pass on to be like a father as well.” OUGH. this hurts me so much. this is damn near the center of a good chunk of raph and leo’s fighting. not ALL of it obviously bc they’ve got their own stuff to work out but this definitely plays a part bc above all he wants leo to be HIS BROTHER. not his dad. NEVER HIS DAD. leo IS NOT their fucking dad and when he tries to act all high and mighty it IRRITATES HIM. WHICH IS SO VALID BC WHY ARE YOU THE WAY THAT YOU ARE. STOP. SERIOUSLY. WHO ARE YOU. yk? like fuck. he doesnt want leo to parent them dammit. imagine your dad dies or something and then your older brother is trying to fill that gap instead of taking time to GREIVE

AND TBH. I DONT THINK SPLINTER MEANT IT LIKE THAT EITHER. splinter probably meant this in a “when i die i trust you to take care of this family and be there for each other and support each other” way. not in a SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TWO JOBS WHO LOVES HER KIDS WND NEVER STOPS WITH GETNLE HANDS AND THE HEART OF A FIGHTER IM A SURVIVOR kinda way

this gets lost in translation tho bc leo totally takes this and runs in the opposite ducking direction for a while which just

NUMBER 3. AND THEN WHEN SPLINTER OFFERS HIM SOME ADVICE/WISDOM LEO JUST. HE CLOSES HIS EYES AND SHAKES HIS HEAD AND TELLS HIM THAT EVERYTHING IS FINE. YOU ARE FINE. BC HE NEEDS THIS TO BE TRUE LIKE. ISNT THAT JUST AWFUL? you watch your dad get killed in front of you, then you go back in time and save him, only for him TO STILL DIE. that is AWFUL MAN.

“i dont get it, you’re fine father. is there something your not telling me?”

I HATE EVERYTHING. leo is dodging EVERY hint that his dad could die soon, he refuses to even entertain the idea. like at all. and its so fuckinf sad bc he is clinging to this hope that no matter what everything will work out fine just like it did before, they’re going to come out on the other side bruised but whole, and it HURTS bc that is not what happens at all. splinter is still killed right in front of them and they carry his body away and bury him and that’s it. that’s fucking it and it’s TERRIBLE.

and its not just awful bc of that its awful bc splinter is trying so hard to prepare them for this, he knows he died once, and has come close numerous times, so its gotta stick eventually right? so the least he can do is make sure his family isnt without closure yk? he can make it so that he torn from them without any warning or goodbye, without something to remember him by, so he goes and he has a moment with each of them in this season before he gets killed and it hurts me so much bc he’s trying to gently prepare them and its just. ough. OUGH. can we just take these mfckers out of situations ffs

NUMBER 4. THIS SHIT.

HIS FUCKING FACE???? AS THEH WALK AWAY???????? KILL ME NOW PLEASE???????? he literally just wants his family to be ok and theh ARENT and it hurts me so. his brothers and dad look so fucking happy too but just. OUGH. the HORRORS man the horrors are coming

anyways. timestamp 3:25am. this is just my rambling from the first few minutes and these are all the scenes from the clip i tagged u in. we haven’t even gotten to splinters death or what leads up to it yet, things are deceptively calm rn and im so scared

GO TO BED

#its 130am for me 330 for you im trying to restrain myself from posting embarrassing things and ranting n raving about shameless and #and you should WE should sleep #literally this is more work and dedication ive ever seen you put into school #we need to get you on payroll for this #fucking tmnt quizzes and see how you do

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posictively-objectum · 2 years ago

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Hii hope you dont mind the question, im wondering what conceptum or non physical thing relationships look like? Im questioning if i have a platonic crush on clouds and im wondering what some form of relationship would look like and getting to know them and stuff. I know its different for everyone id just like some guideance.

I apologize for the late response! We were dealing with some personal stuff, but we're finally back on tumblr! ^^

As you mentioned, this is a journey of discovery for oneself, but I can offer some advice from personal experiences! Off the top of my Mod Cabs probably has the most conceptum-leaning romances? He has a whole thing with polygons and retrocore as a whole. Any sort of old media or even modern retro-themes ARG type stuff catches his fancy.

Whenever he sees these sorts of things he gets all lovey and romantic. shows his appreciation on his sideblog, viewing media with these sorts of things, or even just offering his thoughts. For him loving something so abstract is a sort of blessing, because he gets many sources for which he can express his admiration, as well as joy in how those things are becoming more popular again!

So I suppose a good place to start is to build a sideblog to put images you find to take of cloud formations you see or enjoy. If you are creative, maybe paint some! Something I personally love to do is keep a scrapbook journal of the things I love! Paste in photos I find or little cutouts of doodles and write about how I feel about them. Add stickers and whatever personal touches I can think of!

Hope this helps, and I would love to hear about how your journey develops ^^

#mod tab #asks #advice #objectum #conceptum #objectum positivity

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stellawolfearts · 2 years ago

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I have a question, what do you do when you get stuck with a chapter? I mean you already know what the chapter will be about but you don't know how to express the idea?

(I love your work! Keep up the good work)

Thank you, im so glad you like my stuff!! :DDDDDD

-------------------------------------

maaaaaan

see this is a BIG problem for me.

hell im stuck rn. for multiple reasons and with multiple fics lol. i just havent been able to write in a while for a buttload of reasons i wont get into.

but because this is a big problem for me ive got some advice for u buddy. there are a few things you can do, some is general advice and others is methods i use. note that everyone is different and some methods work well for some and wont work for others.

REST

thats my first piece of advice. dont stress about it. dont beat yourself up bc ur not writing. sometimes inspiration will come and sudddenly your hands will end up moving on thier own. but sometimes you just need the rest. its okay if you spend a day not writing. hell its okay if you spend a WEEK not writing. if your writing something something for you your supposed to enjoy it. this brings me to my next point.

WRITE IT FOR YOU

write it for yourself, especially if its a published work on ao3/wattpad/whatever...

i know it happened to me and tends to happen quite a bit even with my other content. you get too wrapped up in "comments, views, kudos, likes whatever..." your best work comes when you are enjoying what you're making and sometimes when you get too into that mindset suddenly its not fun anymore.

make it for you.

DISCIPLINE

sometimes you rest for too long, sometimes inspiration doesnt come. sometimes youve gotta sit your butt down and make yourself write. do you think its bad? doesnt matter.

whatever you end up writing down on that paper is progress. its a first draft and you can always come back to it later and make it even better then it was.

i know its hard and i really need to expercise this more.

i havent updated on ao3 in a while bc i keep going back to my drafts and think "man.....this is shit" or theres just this feeling like im hitting my head against a wall of bricks expecting it to crumblr for me but nothings happening.

so you really just gotta force youself to write sometimes. and there are some methods i use to help me.

REWRITE THE CHAPTER

yeah. its rough. but sometimes you gotta. what you have isnt working. so you just need to redo everything to get back into the groove. the flow.

i gotta do this with a new chapter im trying to write for longing for more. i already wrote like three thousand words but its not right at all so im redoing the whole thing when i have time.

SKIP THAT BIT

this has actually helped me ALOT.

so bassically if your stuck on a specific part of a chapter.....skip it. just skip it.

when i was writing longing for more the chapter where Mk talks to the lady bone demon in the dining room is one that i usedthis method for.

i wrote the first two paragraphs and then did a little "(they talk blah blah add something about this and then that and dont forget the thing)

and then i wrote the scene where mk escapes and the chase. i wrote that whole scene before i wrote the conversation they have because i had NO idea what to add in that scene. i was stuck. so i just skipped it and when i wrote something i had alot of ideas for i could come back and write that scene later.

and it worked. im really proud of how that scene turned out.

so if you need to just skip it and replace it with a little note (in these things i always forget what they're called) to remind yourself what goes there

MUSIC

Music is my greatest tool to help me write. idk how to explain it cause sometimes what im listening to while writing a scene doesnt make sense.

i think it wasssssss.

i dont remember which scene it was but i remember writing something REALLY sad to "vending machine of love". like gut wrenching sad.

funny stuff.

but yeah, music helps me get in the mood and visualize whats going on.

----------------------

the most important thing here though is enjoy what your doing. dont pressure yourself or just be too hard on yourself in general. cause then its no fun anymore and makes EVERYTHING so much harder.

so have fun, dont worry about other people, dont be hard on yourself. enjoy it.

#ask #shadowdoodles

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litttlestars · 1 year ago

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hi, i've been following for a while and i was reading your recent posts on what happened between you and someone else. first, sorry to hear you had to deal with that (you don't deserve it at all)! second, i'm also going through a similar situation, and i was hoping you could tell me what you think about it? tl;dr i've liked this person for a while and they feel the same, but they don't want to commit to anything yet. they said they want to talk more with me and told me they care about how i feel and making me happy, but recently they've been really distant and i'm not really sure why. i've tried talking about it with them but communicating with them is difficult since i usually get left on read often or don't get a response until later. just recently i asked if i could talk to them about something important regarding us. they gave me permission to, i told them about it, and i got left on read again; only to wake up in the morning and find them playing games with their friends. i still don't know their side of things but i feel really hurt, esp after they said they wanted to communicate more with me. but i also feel guilty about feeling hurt by this in the first place, and feel like i should continue to be more understanding about this. what do you think i should do?

im so sorry about that lovely, first of all i just wanna say your feelings are TOTALLY VALID and it's rly hurtful to have someone not put in the same effort of mending the relationship as you do. you should not feel guilty for being hurt bc it's a completely normal and natural reaction to being brushed off. plspls honor your emotions love bc they are important, you are not terrible for recognizing that you are hurt and telling someone how they hurt you. you have every right to feel how you feel.

im not sure if im good at giving advice so def take what i say with a grain of salt and think about how YOU would like to go abt things as well!!

from what you've told me i feel like you've been plenty understanding. just because someone doesnt want to commit, doesnt mean they're allowed to shed all human decency and decide when and how they want to communicate with you, esp when they said that they want to make you happy and keep talking to you. im firmly against the idea that we dont owe people anything- we do. especially if they explicitly said they wanted to keep talking and that they cared about you. if they like you and care about how you feel then i feel like they should at least try a little harder to communicate even if they're not so good at it ? you deserve someone who respects and reciprocates your time and effort, even if they're a little hesitant about getting into smt more serious. all you're doing is asking to talk, and that's the bare minimum. maybe they need time to think over their response so i suppose i'd give it a few days but if they dont reach out after a few days i'd def pop in and say something abt how them leaving you on seen made you feel and how you're viewing the situation as of rn and that you care abt this relationship and this person so talking things over is rly important to you! i would avoid any sort of accusatory statements and moreso focus on how you're feeling and how you would like to move forward bc i suppose you never know what someone is feeling or thinking. it's hard to find a healthy balance between being understanding but also honoring yourself, but i believe in you!! :') you seem like an amazing person and you don't deserve to be strung along.

tl;dr DONT FEEL GUILTY FOR FEELING HURT!!!! share how you feel, your perspective, and remember that relationships require effort from both sides! if you find yourself unable to get anywhere with this person, it's not worth it. you can't force someone to talk to you which is tough, but there are plenty of other people out there who DO actually care about you and they will put in the effort to actively show you so that you're not left questioning in the dark or always waiting on them.

#im so sorry that you're going through this !!!#and i dont even know if my advice is any good T-T #im so so sorry #💌 love letters.#ive been struggling w like .. not seeing myself as pure evil lately #n my advice might reflect that so likejdhgjg #I HOPE YOU FIGURE IT OUT THO LOVE :(#KEEP ME UPDATED???

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dracowars · 2 years ago

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hi! hope ur well. so ive been doing a big research/study on dracos backstory and the malfoys as well cause i want to write about him (i just love him w all my heart gkm) but i stopped writing like 3/4 years ago?? i have no clue of how to start something again, and i love ur writing just wanted some advice some tips idk...i just dont much friends to talk about it, thanks in advance have a good day <3333

no one has ever come to me for advice before so i feel kinda honored <3

first of all, i don't think there is a right or wrong way in how to best write for draco! personally, i like to portray him as cold, reserved and sometimes even mean from an outside pov but he always has a soft spot for the reader. when i started writing for him, it helped me a lot to read other's fanfictions about him and see how they portray him! but in the end, i think you should portray him in a way that feels right to you!! (it's also kinda fun to change things up a bit sometimes)

for research purposes (for example for specific book/movie scenes or just random knowledge about the wizarding world) i usually roam the harry potter wiki. it's amazing and really interesting (and dangerous because i sometimes get lost in all the information) and as far as i know, it's available in a lot of different languages!

concerning writing skills in itself, i think it's important to just start out with whatever you have in your mind and to always keep going! there will be times where you don't like what you've written at all, but i promise that it will be worth it and someone is going to read and love it <3 i improve my writing by reading a lot of fanfictions and books (and since english is not my first language, i read everything in english to further enhance my skills!!), often i even write down specific passages or words that i like so i can try to integrate them into my own writing style! setting up a writing 'routine' can be quite helpful too and writing should never make you feel pressured, because it's supposed to be something you love and enjoy

at last, everyone has their own style and preferences, this is just my personal opinion and view on all this! please never give up and always believe in yourself ♡♡♡

#i hope this was somewhat helpful #keira answers

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gwasgy · 4 years ago

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Do you ever find quotes that get you so well that you have to sit down and reexamine your life through the lenses of it and what that really means

#in adventure time in the pillow universe dream world episode #where finn is having doubts about flame princess or they just broke up?#and jake is like ''stop it. what youre doing is stupid and doesnt make any sense''#and he gets this cup and hes like ''you see this cup? this is literally my favorite cup.'' and then he throws it out the window #and he says ''it was my favorite cup- but now its gone- so it doesnt exist and i dont care about it anymore''#and i dont think youre supposed to view this as good advice or something you should relate to #especially because jake goes and fetched his mug anyways later #but its so exactly how i feel and think about stuff #i dont really know how to describe it i guess #not in a way that doesnt make me sound like i have empathy problems or something #but then some tiktok talked about the something-loss fallacy or whatever its called #about how it doesnt actually make logical sense to continue something just because of hiw long its been happening.#like youre thinking about breaking up but youve already been together for like a year and the amount of time you put in #feels like it adds value to the relationship #but it doesnt!! it either makes you happy or it doesnt- and how long its been doesnt actually affect that #its the problem with snapchat streaks you know #i had this friend in high school and we did streaks and didnt break them i dont think at all??#and it got up to like 400 and usually i see friends posting about streakaversiaries and whatnot #but 400 rolled around and it didnt frel special. we had kinda stopped being friends by then #and another friend of mine had a really bad falling out with her then best friend and they only tried to fix it because of theur streak #basically? like they kept in contact even though theyd had a falling out bc of the streak. but then more lies were uncovered and it was #kinda Betrayal Part Two and Em then decided to not do streaks anymore with anyone #you know? effectively taking away a symbolic value to the length of past relations and what it means for the value of friendshio NOW #hmmmmmmmmmmmm i dont know #my posts #delete later #✌✌ idk if i will delete this later but just in case yknow #anyways that adventure time scene will probably haunt me forever

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atlabeth · 3 years ago

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nightmares - mike munroe x reader

summary: It was a deal made by two almost-friends in the early hours of the morning after the worst night of their lives, when they realized that all they really had left was each other.

a/n: so this is once again. not my normal content but ive been on an until dawn kick lately and fell in love w the characters all over again. i dont know if anyone still reads or writes for this fandom but. here u go. enjoy

warning(s): lots of cursing, canon typical violence, mentions of graphic violence/death (but nothing too descriptive), mentioned depression, insomnia, and alcoholism, some heavy themes but its hurt/comfort so it ends in fluff

wc: 4.8k

You were running.

You were running, and it was freezing — fuck, it was freezing.

You knew your surroundings; how could you ever forget? Every fucking moment on the goddamn mountain was engraved into your mind for what you assumed would be the rest of your life, an assumption that had since been proven correct.

And now, against your will, you were back. Of course you were back.

A shudder ran through your whole body as that all-too-familiar screech rang out behind you, each second of it like nails on a chalkboard in the worst way. Your lungs burned like all hell but you couldn’t stop — if you stopped, you were as good as dead.

Some part of this fucked up thing was almost funny. Humans were always boasting about how they were the top of the food chain, how they were the height of evolution. There was nothing to keep an ego in check like being hunted by a supernatural creature.

Any thoughts of bullshit philosophy were dashed from your mind as you took a hard right, nearly falling over from the sharp curve of the mountain but just able to catch yourself. Your heart was thundering in your chest, the beats nearly lining up with your sprinting. You felt an intense urge to turn around, try and gauge your chances, but the thought of slowing down for even a second terrified you. It’s not like you needed to anyways — you knew exactly what was after you.

You were nearing the end of your road, both literally and figuratively. You stumbled over a tree root, your hands splayed out in front of yourself at just the right angle to keep your momentum going and, in some feat of luck, stay upright and running.

But your luck had just run out.

Your senses were proven correct as the harrowing cliff edge came into view, and a thousand things screamed in your mind at once as your demise stared you right in the eye. You barely managed to catch yourself, very much aware that the snow falling into the void could’ve just as well been you.

That fucking screech again, even closer than before, and you whipped around as you took an instinctive step back. Your hands patted around everywhere, searching for something to defend yourself, but you had nothing. No gun, knife, even the ground around you was devoid of rocks.

You had nothing. You had nothing to defend yourself from this goddamn nightmare creature, and you were going to die.

Your eyes darted around wildly in an attempt to find something, anything, to save yourself, but there was nothing. You took another step back and felt your foot slip, your breath catching as you barely managed to save yourself with a twist and a lunge away from the edge. The shock of the ground and the cold against your skin was just enough to remind yourself that you were actually alive. Another pile of snow mimicked the fate that seemed imminent as it trickled over the side of the cliff, and you screwed your eyes shut as you tried to shut your mind up.

Think, goddammit, if you wanted to get off of this fucking mountain you had to think—

The screech that pierced through the night sky was far too close for comfort, and as your head snapped back towards the woods you swore that your heart stopped beating.

It had caught up. You were out of time you were going to die but you didn’t have anything and you were going to fucking die—

A flash of white pushed off a tree and lunged towards you, teeth bared as it emitted that horrible screech. You didn’t even have time to scream, completely frozen in place as one clawed hand reached your neck, and you braced for the moment of release.

You shot up in your bed, breathing rapid and unsteady with a barely contained cry on the edge of your lips as your hand instinctively flew to your neck. You heaved an almost strangled sigh of relief to know that your head was still attached to your body (it might’ve seemed obvious, but… your head wasn’t exactly on straight at the moment, all jokes aside) and collapsed against the headboard.

You ran your hands across your face as you tried in vain to calm yourself down, ultimately having to turn on your lamp to ease your troubled mind that there was nothing going thump in the night.

It had been this same routine almost every night — horrible nightmare, wake up crying or screaming or both, and start the day at 3 am because you couldn’t fall back asleep.

It was exhausting. You were exhausted.

You knew you couldn’t go on like this, but what choice did you have? Therapy had been mandated by the police for a certain amount of time after the incident, but… it’s not like it had helped. How could it, when no one truly knew what you had gone through?

Well… that wasn’t completely accurate.

One person knew what you were going through, and you hadn’t said as much as one word to him since that night. You didn’t really… know what to say.

Hey. I know we’re not all that close, but I’m sorry your girlfriend and all your friends were killed by a Wendigo and that I made it instead. Hope you’re not going insane with grief. I’ll send you a card at Christmas!

...yeah. You had no idea what to say to him after months of no contact.

The relationship you had with Mike Munroe was a strange one, to say the least.

None of you were the same after that night on the mountain. The horrors of the mines would be forever entrenched in your head, flashes of the Wendigos appearing every time you closed your eyes. You and Mike were the only ones who made it off, and the guilt you carried everywhere was a burden you knew you couldn’t shoulder. And even after the physical scars had faded, you knew the mental ones never would.

Sometimes you wondered how you had even managed to get involved with the group in the first place — bonds that had been made in your freshman and sophomore years had somehow managed to stay strong enough throughout the rest of high school, strong enough to cement your spot in the friend group and the yearly lodge visits. You liked them all well enough, enough to go up to an isolated mountain with them for a weekend or so, but… yeah. Sometimes you did wonder what the hell you were doing with them.

But now?

Now, you would give almost anything to hear Sam’s laugh or one of her compliments, or tease Ashley and Chris about their very obvious feelings; hell, you found yourself missing Matt’s useless football facts. And even though Emily and Jessica weren’t always the nicest, you still had managed to worm your way into their hearts. Knowing that you would never get Emily’s brutal but helpful advice or get dragged to a football game by Jessica again?

If someone had told you the difference between life-long trauma and a completely normal existence was that blonde girl with the braids in your biology class, you might’ve thought a little harder before accepting that party invite.

The days after you were rescued from the mountain passed in a daze, questions and interrogations from police never sticking for too long. And it didn’t even feel like it mattered, the way none of them seemed to believe you.

They kept you separated from Mike throughout the whole process, and you were only able to catch glances of him when you were being transferred to different rooms throughout the long process. It really was like something out of a horror movie — a group of teens go up to a lodge in the woods, and only two return with a story of unspeakable horrors — and rather than try and work out what had happened, they seemed intent on pinning the deaths on you and Mike.

As if you weren’t dealing with enough after watching your friends get murdered by the monster of another friend, the people that were supposed to be helping you were instead trying to charge you with them. If it wasn’t so fucking infuriating, it would’ve been laughable.

The worst part? You could hardly blame them.

When you took a second to listen to yourself, to what you were spouting to the police, you sounded insane. If you hadn’t witnessed it all first hand, you wouldn’t have believed yourself.

You told them to go down to the mines. That the thing that killed your friends would be down there, and they could see it for themselves.

You didn’t know if that was the right choice. Hell, you might’ve been sending those cops to their deaths. But it was the only way you could think of to get them to believe you.

(You doubted they would go down there anyways. What was the word of two crazy college kids over actual logic? Not much, you imagined.)

You were in that damn interrogation room for what felt like forever until you were finally taken to a hospital to get your wounds treated. But even in the hospital bed, police were by your side asking about what happened every day of your stay. After your discharge, you were forced into custody until they got information that they deemed satisfactory.

By some miracle, you and Mike weren’t charged with anything. The news might’ve gotten hold of your story, but you didn’t know. You didn’t want to know. You didn’t ever look at the news after the tragedy, too afraid that you would see the smiling faces of your friends staring back at you, or pictures of you and Mike with news anchors trying to talk about how involved the two of you were.

If there was one thing worse than going through hell, it was other people trying to make a profit off of your spiral.

Your friends’ families offered their condolences, but not much else. You didn’t hold it against them. Your survivor’s guilt was strong enough to know exactly why they didn’t reach out further.

(You blame yourself for their deaths, after all. Why wouldn’t they?)

It was the same situation with Mike.

Maybe you had purposefully drifted apart from him, trying to build up walls of your own so that he wouldn’t be able to spring it on you first. You assumed he hated you after what had happened, and he had every right to. You might’ve helped each other through the night, but you had no other option. Now, everyone else but you was dead — people he cared about more than you — and you just couldn’t face that.

But as you stared at yourself in your bathroom mirror, you realized that you might have to.

You looked awful.

Weeks of sleepless nights were catching up to you, appearing in the form of

hollow eyes and dark circles, along with a slight discoloration of your skin. The scars from the mountain had mostly healed, but there was a particularly nasty gash on your cheek that was still showing — it wasn’t doing you any favors in the ‘looking completely normal and sane and not severely sleep deprived’ department.

You splashed some water in your face to try and wake up a bit, but the slight drowsiness that followed you everywhere seemed to be a permanent part of you now.

(It was almost funny, in a way. You were so paranoid and alert all the time, unable to fall asleep, and yet it was all you could think about in moments like these. You wondered when irony had become such a staple in your life.)

You had tried talking to therapists, your friends, your family, even searching the internet for advice on what to do after a life changing traumatic event. Nothing had worked.

The simplest solution had come to mind more than once, but you had pushed it aside with the determination to work through this on your own. But now, staring at yourself and seeing how much you had deteriorated…

You had to go talk to the only person who would understand.

You had considered turning around more than once on the drive over.

Because, really, what the hell were you doing? Showing up at his doorstep in the middle of o dark thirty because— because what?

Because you had a nightmare?

He had gone through the same thing you had, probably even worse. Losing Jessica right in front of him, having to cut off his fingers to get free, spending countless hours alone, dealing with the nightmare that was the sanatorium, and then…

Well, you had been in the mines with him and Josh when it happened. There was no doubt in your mind that the scene replayed in his head endlessly, just like it did for you.

Showing up… it was going to be a mistake. You knew it was.

For all you knew, Mike had moved on already. He was stronger than you, he always had been. Maybe your presence would send him spiraling once more, or maybe it would just earn you a verbal beating like no other. Mike had always been nice enough, but the trauma you had endured was enough to turn a saint into his own worst enemy.

You didn’t know what would happen. You didn’t know anything, and as you turned down his street you regretted more than ever not keeping in touch with him. Maybe then you wouldn’t be in this situation, scrambling after your last hope for salvation after slowly killing yourself over the past few months.

But there was no chance to turn back now, because before you knew it your knuckles were rapping against his front door.

The pause between your arrival and a response was so long that you considered leaving and pretending like this never happened, but just as you began to step back the door swung open.

You didn’t really know what you were expecting, but… he was there. The only other testament to the horrors of Blackwood Pines, and maybe the only person that could help you through this.

“...hi,” you murmured, swallowing the sudden lump in your throat as you looked the personification of your shame in the eye.

Mike blinked a few times, whether to try and wake up a little or out of surprise from his visitor you didn’t know, but it was a few seconds before he responded in kind. “...hey. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you around.”

You chuckled dryly as you nodded. “Yeah. Sorry for the sudden arrival. I’m, uh… I’m kind of surprised you even opened the door.”

He huffed out a short breath in a facsimile of a laugh. “Not getting much sleep these days.”

“That’s something we’ve got in common.” You crossed your arms across your chest and let out a loose sigh, eyes wandering around in an attempt to think of what to say next. It should’ve been so easy, but… but for some reason, it just wasn’t.

“Guess so.” That awkward silence stretched out once more, neither of you knowing how to fill it. Thankfully, Mike continued to take the plunge, but it wasn’t without a slight barb. “What are you doing here?”

“I—” you stopped just as you had begun, because you really didn’t know. You had come here for help, but could Mike really do that for you? He was the same as you — a fucked up teenager trying to deal with something so far beyond him.

“I don’t know,” you admitted as you made eye contact once more. “I… I really don’t know. I’m out of options, and… I can’t keep going like this. So I came here to talk, or— or to try and get some help. I don’t know.”

That same silence filled the air once more, the night ambiance the only thing in between the two of you. You missed when that silence used to be comfortable, but… you could only blame yourself for it.

“So— so, what?” he asked, the beginnings of a frown starting to crease his brows. “You just— we go through all that together up there, and then when we get back down you don’t say a word for months. And now— now, out of nowhere, in the middle of the night, you just show up and ask for help?”

“God,” you muttered. When he put it that way, it was true. It was ridiculous, to expect his help after the way you had just left him to deal with it all on his own for a reason borne of your own insecurity. “You’re right. This was— this was stupid. I’m sorry.”

You had already turned to go when you felt a calloused hand on your shoulder, causing you to stop in your tracks.

“No.” His voice was surprisingly soft as he sighed, stepping back with a shake of his head to make room in the doorway. “No, I—” Mike paused for a moment, as if he couldn’t find the right words to say. “I’m sorry. You can come in. Obviously, you can come in.”

Your eyes widened slightly as you tried to hide your shock at the gesture, but you weren’t about to turn it down. You nodded, and he stepped aside to make space for you to walk in. When you did, you were met with a mess not unlike the one back at your apartment, save for the beer bottles. Clothes were strewn about haphazardly on every surface, so you took a seat on a clean spot on the floor, leaning back against a chair and pulling your knees up to your chest. You actually preferred it this way — it was grounding, in a literal sense. Mike pushed aside a laundry basket and did the same, but pulled one leg up and let the other lay extended.

“Why?” he asked suddenly, breaking the silence that had been accumulating once more. “Why did you just…” he gestured around with his hands to try and get his point across but ultimately settled with a sigh. “You didn’t say anything. You didn’t try to text, or call, or write, or— or anything. Hell, I would’ve probably jumped to get a messenger pigeon from you. But it was just… radio silence.”

You picked at the dry skin on your thumbs as you tried to come up with an answer. “I… I don’t know,” you repeated. “It was stupid, and it was horrible of me to leave you alone. I mean… I don’t know why I did it. I know what I’ve been going through, and I know you’ve been going through the same. So I don’t know why I didn’t try to reach out and see how you were doing.”

He chuckled mirthlessly as his eyes swept over the empty bottles that had accumulated on the coffee table. “I’m not the best with alone.”

“I know,” you said quietly. “I thought…” you shook your head as you looked at the ceiling. “I thought that you hated me. I know that you cared about them all more, you were closer to all of them, and… and I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. That I would just always be a reminder of what you lost. And… and, I don’t know. Maybe it was my way of trying to move on. Was a stupid fucking idea, though.”

That got a genuine laugh out of him as he ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I get that. I dunno why I didn’t try to talk to you either. Maybe since you didn’t say anything, I didn’t want to either. This whole thing fucked me up.” His gaze moved to you. “Fucked us both up.”

“You can say that again,” you muttered as you tapped your fingers on your knees. “I can’t look anywhere without seeing them. I mean, I see that fucking…” you grimaced. “I see Josh, and I see what that thing did to him, and I just— I’m right back to step one.”

He swallowed hard and nodded. “...yeah. That was seven layers of fucked up.”

“You can’t just keep saying everything was fucked up,” you said dryly. “It was shitty, too.”

Mike snorted, some kind of slightly masochistic humor going on between the two of you. “Nothing really gets the point across like fucked up.”

“Guess you’re right,” you finally conceded with a small smile. “This is… this is nice. I’d almost forgotten what it was like to… I don’t know, to talk to someone like this.”

“It is,” he murmured.

Another pregnant pause hung in the air, but the silence wasn’t as uncomfortable now. Trickles of what it used to be like, of your old life, were beginning to poke through.

“I never hated you,” he said suddenly. Your eyes flicked up to meet his, and it was like his brown eyes were piercing through you as he continued. “I never did. After it happened… yeah, I was mad. I was fucking pissed, but it was never at you. You were my friend too, y’know? Even though we weren’t that close, we were still… we were still something. And I’m glad you made it. I just wish you hadn’t convinced yourself that you had to go through this alone. Maybe things would’ve turned out different, these past few months. For both of us.”

You nodded, choosing to avert eye contact first because you almost couldn’t handle the sincerity. Your heart sank a bit at the sight of all the beer bottles, and you knew that he was right. Maybe things would’ve been different if the two of you had weathered it together from the start. And so you said that.

“I still can’t help but feel like I’m to blame for—” you gestured around at the mess with a sigh, “for this.”

“Look.” His voice was raspy as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair, and as he met your eyes once more you were able to see how truly exhausted he was. With dark circles that matched your own, scars that were still healing, and a certain hollowness behind his eyes… It was like looking in a mirror. And it made you realize how fucked up the two of you had really become.

Mike had always been good at holding himself together, putting up his signature egotistical-douchebag-jock act in the face of anything that threatened to tear him down, and more often than not he came out victorious. But not even class presidents were immune to the horrors that they had faced, and it was taking more of a toll on him than you had realized.

“It’s not your fault. You— you did everything you could; I know I’m still alive because of you. Besides, we were idiot teenagers — we still are — and none of them deserved to die because of it. Not Hannah, not Beth, not any of them.” Mike shook his head and sighed. “Not even Josh. Man was fucked up even before all of this, but he didn’t deserve what happened to him. He needed help, but instead he got his fucking… god. I can’t even say it. But he didn’t deserve it.”

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, the subconscious process having stopped because of the weight of his words. It was cliche, but you didn’t know how much you needed to hear those four words: it’s not your fault.

“Maybe you should be my therapist,” you joked weakly. But as you let your eyes trail back to Mike you bit your lip. He hadn’t included himself in that statement, and it wasn’t too hard to figure out why.

“Mike… it wasn’t your fault either. You’re not just saying bullshit to try and make yourself feel better, it really wasn’t your fault. What do they say? ‘Getting through your guilt is the first step to recovery’ or some shit? You deserve to be here just as much as I do.”

“But it was,” he insisted. “It’s easy for you to say that. You tried to stop it, I… I just went along with it. Fuck, I started it all. Hannah and Beth went missing because of me, Josh went out of his fuckin’ mind, and if he hadn’t brought us all back up there for his revenge plot then they wouldn’t have died. How is it not my fault? Why do I get to live when all of them died because of me?”

“Mike,” you sighed. “I… I don’t know. I don’t know why we made it back when none of them did, but it’s not your fucking fault, okay? You— yeah, that prank was fucking stupid, but— but how could you know what was going to happen?” You huffed a laugh that was only slightly unhinged. “People pull pranks all the time. Native American legend cannibal spirit things don’t try to kill people all the time. You can’t keep blaming yourself. It’s not going to help them, and it’s not going to help you.”

That silence stretched out once more as he took in your words. You didn’t know if he believed them or not, but you did. That had to be worth something, right?

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” he muttered, breaking the silence once more. “And I… I don’t know. I don’t know why it took almost fucking dying from those goddamn things, a— and seeing what happened to all of them...”

“I don’t know,” he repeated, leaning back against the foot of the sofa. “All the shit that happened, all of them dying — I don’t know how long it’ll take until we’re okay again. Hell, I don’t even know if we ever will be okay again. What happened up there was fucked up in the worst way, and the fact that no one believes us makes it a hell of a lot worse.”

You chuckled darkly as you cupped one hand in the other. “You can say that again.”

His lips twitched for a moment as if he wanted to smile but ultimately thought better of it. “I know we aren’t that close anymore, but the truth is we’re the only ones on this fuckin’ planet that know what really happened up there. We’re the only ones that will ever really understand what happened to us, and… and I think we’re the only ones that can really help each other through this shit.”

He met your eyes once more, something resolute in them. “So the next time this happens, because it will, if you don’t want to be alone… you can come here. Any time, any day, no questions asked. Just knock on that door, and I will be there. No more isolation, no more trying to get through this on our own. We gotta be there for each other, because we’re all we have.”

You nodded gratefully, a feeling of warmth slowly creeping through your body with his reassurance. “Thank you, Mike. You… you have no idea what this means to me.”

“I think I have some clue,” he murmured.

As you exchanged weary smiles, you saw a faint twinkle in Mike’s eyes. He was always the kind of person to help others, even if it was for the wrong reasons, and that was one thing that stuck with him after the disaster. And in that moment, a long lost feeling washed over you — safety.

You hadn’t felt safe in… well, it seemed like forever. Adrenaline and pure instinct were responsible for getting you through those twelve hours, along with an overwhelming wave of numbness and denial. But once all of that wore off, the nightmares had begun. Your friends, the Wendigos, the mountain itself — anything and everything that your mind could use against you, it did.

It was a living hell. You could hardly ever sleep anymore, horrific images always jolting you awake after an hour or two and keeping you awake for the rest of the day. It was no wonder Mike had ended up with a drinking problem — it was probably the only way he could sleep, the only way he could bring some form of peace to his mind. By some miracle, you had avoided that fate, but… you would be lying if you said you hadn’t come close.

But somehow, for some reason, you could tell that things were going to be different. Now that you and Mike weren’t avoiding each other anymore in the name of painful memories… you felt like things were going to be okay. Or as close to okay as you could get these days.

You weren’t alone, and neither was he.

He had saved your life on the mountain more than once. Now, he was saving you again. Just in a different way.

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

ud tags: @kwyloz

#mike munroe #mike munroe x reader #mike x reader #until dawn x reader #until dawn #until dawn fic #mike until dawn #sadie writes #i always get so insecure when i post things that arent for atla #then i remember that. this is my blog and i can write what i want #lol

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doesyourshipmakeyouabadperson · 2 years ago

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hay, this is more me looking for advice, but how do i stop lying to my followers about being proship? there was one point where i drew fontcest (undretale), and i got an anti who harassed me in ask, and sent me a graphic description of their brother killing their hamster. ever since i've been very weary of saying anything, or confirming i ship something cuz i don't want to read something like that again. that, and in general, i don't ship things too hard/go all in with it, at least 1/?

2/? i don't think i do. granted, i draw a bunch of art and post it, but for me that's just general hyperfixation. i'm also ace, and while yes, most ships are romantic or sexual, mine tend to be platonic, or suggestive. and are not as clear cut as to if i ship the characters or not, because even for me, it's up in the air, and i don't know, i'm not good with knowing how i feel about things, i just express myself through art and hope it says all it needs to. i've come up with a sorta tagging

3/4 tagging system, with tags for platonic ships, joke ships, etc, but even then sometimes how i view the relationship changes. like right now, i'm drawing a child and adult character together, most of the time the dynamic i portray is paternal, but other times i want to make it romantic, either as a cope for my own truama, or just because it's been my brain rot for weeks and i want it out of my head to get back to the "clean stuff" and just not post for a while. idk, maybe this is

4/? is all overly complicated, and i've made a mess for myself, but i feel like at this point i've tricked ppl into following or liking my work. because ppl do like my work, and then they send ask like "your art's now tainted for me", but i've been this way since 2016, i've just been scared of getting disturbing irl hamster gore stories again. or i've been told "fuck you for normalizing this", "don't hc this character as a murder pedo", "this feels like grooming", "you know your audience"

5/5 like i don't, idk how old anyone is who follows me, idk if there's children looking at my content. and i can't just make a poll, or check the thousands of followers i have to see if they have their age in their bio, i can't fucking ask for an id before following, i just. idk, this was very long and ranty, i'm sorry, i just don't want to remake my blog again, maybe i'm just dumb and anxious, i don't know. srry this was long, hope you're doin ok (^.^)v

Hello, I delayed answering this for a while since, well, i'm definitely not usually the person people go to for advice so im not used to it lol ❤ /nm

Buuut i mean... I can see why youre upset. I dont think you should have to come out and say you're proship. Being an anti shouldn't be seen as the default. You should also be able to make whatever kind of content you want as long as you tag it properly. If your fanbase is making you feel like you can't, then that fanbase isn't your demographic.

There are actually a lot of decent people out here who are pro ship, and if you choose to be openly pro ship, yes you will get some hate mail, death threats, suibait etc and lose followers, but you will also gain a lot of fans who want to see your interesting takes on different interpersonal dynamics. (Also, the former group weren't really your fans in the first place if they'll be so godawful to you over some pixels on a screen)

And yes it is impossible to police thousands of followers and that quite literally is not supposed to be up to you. Minors on the internet are supposed to be monitored by their guardians. If you put a disclaimer/tag for your content and some dumbass clicks it anyway and doesn't like what they see, that's their fault not yours.

I've also noticed that the majority of people who are pro ship are prone to actually filtering content they don't like, while antis seem entitled and want the creator to do it for them. Its just a better fanbase experience all around in my experience.

As someone who helps run multiple pro ship accs, i understand the visibility can be scary. But I promise at the end of the day you'll feel a lot better for it. Hope this is at least semi-helpful/reassuring idk ❤

#long post #lovely anon ❤#advice from a dragmonster #tw animal death #tw harrassment #tw grooming mention #not an affirmation

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insomniac-arrest · 4 years ago

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Hey, youre the only author I follow on this side and I have a big question... For 5 years by now I try writing a book myself. I have everything! Toughed-out characters, a fully developed plot, sideplots, a map of the world, etc. But... I just cant get it on paper. I draw a lot. Some scenes or just the characters to have refs on hand, colors, clothes and stuff but I just cant put down ONE Chapter in words! Maybe its because I'm a perfectionist and struggle too view my work with the eyes of my friends (who all say my writing is really good) I dont know, I'm never happy with my writings and dont wanna put out stuff I dont like. Do you have maybe some tips? I really wanna publish my story! It makes me sad that it takes soooo much time...

“Perfect is the enemy of done.” ― Catherine Carrigan

I wish I had some easy advice for this dilemma, but the truth is that it’s a toughie. It kind of reminds me of when I used to put off doing essays in high school. I’d make my outlines and think about it in my head. I’d plan. I’d wait for the right moment. Then the due date would pass.

If I got a shitty essay in by the due date I was usually good, it was fine, even half-baked essays usually got me B’s (this isn’t a brag on myself, this is just because the American school system lacks rigor). However, if I missed the due date then I was pretty much screwed. The clock was ticking and the task just got bigger and bigger in my head. It was due! I could do it! Nothing was stopping me! I just needed to actually do it.

But I couldn’t. It was too big in my head. It loomed too large. After the due date passed it had to be perfect or else it had to be nothing. And I would just, never turn it in. By college I stopped doing this, but by then I was studying things that I loved and looked forward to reading about and taking tests on.

There are a couple approaches to your dilemma I can imagine:

1. Go do another project: yep, let it go. Set it aside. Forget about it for a while so it becomes less scary. Time and space can do wonders for the creative process.

In the meantime, I recommend honing your craft. Write silly stories, write stories without plot or structure, write fanfiction and terrible prose, write something for the sake of writing. Honestly, there’s a lot of tried and true wisdom around the artistic statement: start small, get good. Painters do all sorts of tiny doodles before they attempt a masterpiece. Begin with doodles. Learn to build a scene before you build an entire house with it, my friend.

However, if that doesn’t help, then here’s option two:

2. Do some emotional exercises: Walking away from projects works, but not always. It’s something I’ve done in the past and I’ve talked to other people where it’s worked really well for them. Some distance from any projects is good.

However, I see a lot of online advise that’s like “if you don’t like it then walk away!” And that stuff frustrates me because I’m like “I don’t want to walk away! I want to fight for this!” Plus, whenever I have just “walked away” I’ve literally never gone back to any those projects. I don’t regret writing them, but I think we as artists need to emphasize the importance of finishing as well. If you’re serious about this then some parts of it are gonna suck so bad. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna be hard. You’re gonna feel shitty because the story is��not how you imagined it. You’re going to doubt yourself. Do it anyway. Do it anyway.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear” —George Adair

I have a mood swing disorder so I do a lot of emotional exercises that are primed to help me distance myself from my emotions. “But you’re supposed to feel your feelings!” You say, and that’s true. Feeling your feelings is step one-- you have to let in, life is suffering, sit with it, look at it, feel it. However, the next step is taking action. You do the thing anyway.

You are not your emotions.

You have control of how you react to your self-doubt and fear.

Acknowledge them, feel them, and then let them pass like clouds above your head. Then act. It’s okay to be a little hard on yourself here-- like a kind mother. She loves you unconditionally but she also has you do the dishes and put your toys away. She has you do the necessary and hard things, because she loves you.

By the time I was able to write essays in college and actually turn them in I had been to a lot of therapy and then I just . . . started writing. First I wrote for fun, like a madman possessed by a spirit, and now I write for the challenge of it (but at a much slower pace). Writing still often scares me or frustrates me, but that’s okay. It’s normal. They are just passing clouds-- stormy or otherwise. The clouds can’t touch you, not really, so I do it anyway.

Choose whatever path sounds best for you! Writing is a very personal process. It’s hard, but also an incredibly rewarding process. Good luck!

#writing #asks #writeblr #take this with a grain of salt because I am not quiet a professional #but I did write 3k today so that was pretty good #and I wrote 2k the day before #and 1k on monday #and so on #Anonymous #long post #oops this got so long #writing tips

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normalbirb · 4 years ago

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Abstinence isnt sex ed and everyone needs to learn this shit, especially teenagers

Ive seen a lot of anger and blame being thrown on p*rn artists online lately for people growing up with warped views on sex, especially here on tumblr. "Think of the children" type of talk. So i guess i, a part time p*rn artist, is gonna have to have the talk with you that your parents and teachers apparently havent had with you yet.

Sex posetive ≠ have a lot of sex

Sex posetive = practice safe sex

So. What is safe sex?

Tw heavy and triggering language

Research std's before having sex. Learn about the dangers and what they can do to you. This is really important. Find out WHY protection is important. A std can lead to some really nasty shit.

If you cant say no, you are NOT ready for sex. Consent is SUPER important and a huge part of sex.

If you cant take a no, you are NOT ready for sex. Consent is SUPER important and a huge part of sex.

Theres nothing shameful about being a virgin. Especially if youre still a minor. Losing your virginity isnt a cool hip thing, sex is much deeper than that. Ive seen a lot of people talk about how they regret having sex as a minor and how that warped their view on it in a negative way. You are not an exeption to this. You are not unique.

You and your partner needs to be equals in bed. Even in bdsm. A dom isnt supposed to be an abuser, a dom is supposed to be just as much of a pleaser as the sub is. If a dom isnt listening to you, they arent a dom, they are abusing that label to get away with r*pe.

A minor and adult can NEVER be equal. As an adult i can confirm that all adults hold power over younger people. Age gaps are ok but ONLY if both parties are adults.

Research safe bdsm. Ex, choking isnt safe in general but it can be made safer (dont press your hands on the windpipe). Spanking needs to be done right or you can dislocate the hip. Use handcuffs made for bdsm. They are made to be able to open quickly if the user starts to panic.

Sex doesnt need to lead to penetration.

Aftercare is important and a good bonding thing. Foreplay is also important and can lessen discomfort.

Clean your sextoy after every use, preferable with sextoy cleaners. You can get an std from a dirty sextoy even if youre the only one using it.

Never use a broken sextoy.

Lube. Use it.

Clean your packer every day. Preferably with sextoy cleaner.

Wash under your foreskin and dont use soap in your vagina.

P*rn isnt realistic.

Having sex wont make you whole. That hole in your soul, it can only be patched together with therapy. Having sex to try to fill that void will leave you vunerable to being abused by people.

If you cant talk to your parents about sex in a healthy manner, you are NOT old enough for it.

If youre scared of going to a gynecologist and having your genetals checked, you are NOT ready for sex. Do some research on how a checkup is done.

DO NOT send nudes to strangers, ESPECIALLY NOT if youre a minor. This can fuck your entire life up. It can make you a target for harasment and even go as far as making you a victim of being kidnapped and sold to sex slavery. It may sound like a stretch but its a very real thing in this world.

Dont trust strangers online. Im a stranger online. You are a stranger online. Everyone are a stranger online. Research grooming tactics, learn what the red flags are. Them being nice to you isnt an exeption, being nice is a grooming tactic.

If you get sexually asaulted, do NOT wash the clothes. Save them for evidence. Your assaulters dna is a evidence against them in court. Talk to an adult and go to the police imideatly.

Even as a minor, dont draw p*rn of other minors. No matter your age you have still created ped*phile p*rn. Ofc as a minor you should prob not draw that stuff to begin with but i also cant stop you from it.

You do NOT need to sleep around to find out what your sexuality is. That is a shit advice. Theres no hurry for you to figure it out, it took me until 23 to figure that shit out. Hell, im still not 100% sure.

The internet isnt a safe space. It never has been and will never be. Its still important for you to do what you can to make it safer tho.

Even if someone is a p*rn artist, it does not mean you can talk to them however you want. Drawing p*rn isnt consent to being talked to in a sexual harrasing way.

You can still be groomed even as an adult.

Sex is supposed to be enjoyed by all parties. YOU need to make sure the other(s) are feeling just as good as you are. Dont be pushy. If someone says no that means no.

------

If anyone want to add something, feel free to.

#sex ed

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angeloncewas · 3 years ago

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yeah i totally agree with what you said about satire and schlatt basically taking the easy way out. it seems like since that video he's kinda eased back from doing that shit, either bc the backlash or bc his friends have started verbally calling him out on it, both to his face and through making comments about him on stream (comments as in like saying they dont agree with what he did and saying they thought that video was terrible, not like them shading him or whatever ajsksk) which is good but also i wouldnt be surprised if something like that video happened again just bc like. it is his career and at this point he has to know what his larger fanbase is like to an extent, which means he also knows those terrible fucking jokes will make him money. i dont like that, but im also not gonna sit around and pretend like i cant see the fucking obvious, ya know? from what ive seen of him when he's not putting on a show for his main channel, or when he isnt around people who both encourage and enable his bad behavior (not saying this to shift blame, ive just noticed how he goes from making actually funny jokes that are harmless or, at most, a pretty obvious example of him poking fun at shitty people, at least imo, to like. straight up just being offensive when he's with people like swagger, miz, etc. vs ted, charlie and so on), he seems like a pretty good guy and its pretty clear to me that he doesnt hold the same views as the character he plays up for his main channel but that doesnt change the fact that his audience is now full of the worst kinds of people and that is how he makes money.

as someone who, again, watched idubbbz, as well as filthyfrank, they both stated they were playing characters and they didnt agree with the shit they were joking about, joji especially, but them saying that isnt very well known by even their own fanbase who just watches their main channel stuff, bc the one video where joji made that explicitly clear what he was doing, he later deleted for people harassing him in the comments (it was an old ass video where he basically said that playing those characters was giving him literal health problems, specifically stress induced seizures, and his comments were so bad that he never made an ooc video on his main channel again) and the one video i can think of where ian explicitly said he was playing a character was like an hour long podcast with h3, which most people dont even wanna watch bc it is a painfully uncomfortable one hour, considering the fact that they are supposed to be friends. besides that, the only other time they were really out of character was in vlogs with maxmoefoe, and they still did their offensive bits from time to time bc it was still going up on youtube, even if it wasnt their main channel. compare that to schlatt who has, as far as i know, never explicitly said he's playing a character, and the closest he has gotten to saying that was in some weekly slap video that i cant remember the title of bc all those videos kinda blend together if im being honest. like they definitely show a different, better side of him, but they are also all really short videos with only gameplay to watch and he never even promotes the channel, so its not like the shitty people watching him are like "hm time to take some time out of my day to go watch big man schlatt give people advice and be a genuine person for once", right?

idk. schlatt is just such a weird person for me bc like. he is a big comfort for me, i really do enjoy his content when he's not making bad stabs at satire (bc sometimes he does it right!! but a lot of the time, at least recently, he has just missed the mark entirely, to the point where it feels like he wasnt even trying to hit the mark at all), but he is also so uncomfortable to watch sometimes just bc he seems to either not know where the line is, or thinks crossing it is okay bc its him playing a character and that's not fun to watch as a minority who often ends up being apart of that "punchline".

that aside tho...yes, unfortunately idubbbz does still make content (and i say unfortunately bc it is not very good) though it seems like he is very slow to upload and last i checked, the views arent too great, but ive seen worse. probably the only thing that could bring back his views at this point would be a content cop, but like a year or so back he said he has no plans of continuing the series bc he finds it boring now, which is fair enough. i dont really keep up with him anymore, but as far as i know, he just got married to anisa and he streams on twitch sometimes, besides that the dude is a mystery to me!

—🦷 (also im sorry if this is formatted weird, for whatever reason tumblr has indented each of my paragraphs with one of those grey line thingys and it wont let me remove it. if it doesnt show up in the actual ask then ignore this!)

This is kind of old now (sorry), but I still wanted to respond because I really appreciate your perspective :)

> I always wonder how people not involved in the fandom view Schlatt. Because wasn't there this thing about Hasan genuinely thinking that he was conservative? And like he obviously doesn't now, but does that not impact how he sees him and his content? I don't mean to dictate friendships - of course - I'm just curious as to the impact of having that audience from an outsider pov. I remember being shocked what that thing happened with the pdp fan, but I later found that many people weren't because they knew the nature of the audience he cultivated; maybe I'm just stupid, I had no idea. (Not that Schlatt and pdp are the same, it's just a loose comparison.)

> No one should face harassment, but I doubt Joji deleting that video helped his case. (I mean ig it worked out in the long term considering everything that happened with his music, but yk.) I'm very sorry for the health problems he faced with the characters themselves though. I don't know much about him but that sounds awful.

> I have thoughts on The Weekly Slap, but I think they make me sound bitter and don't add much so just know that they're there ajfdkjdf. I will say that he doesn't seem like "Jschlatt" in them, and moreso just a guy. I know that he quit it for a number of reasons and one of them was not being comfortable with that kind of connection in relation to his increasing fame, but honestly I think his complete dislodgement from his fanbase isn't healthy either.

> I mean, I get it. I've watched a lot of content from a lot of people - ranging from kind of unpleasant to very unsavory - and it's kind of a weird feeling with YouTube and Twitch stuff. Idk it's like - when I go to the grocery store, I'm not wondering if the guy checking my things out is a racist. When I see a commercial, I don't wonder if that guy advertising chicken nuggets is a secret creep. But with content creation of this kind, it's just a weird thought in the back of my mind. I don't know if this makes sense lmao

> Weird that Idubbz finds content cop "boring." I guess the formula is kind of stale and half of the content was the edge, but it seems like the kind of thing that'd be perfect to capitalize off of around now. Cool that he got married... I think. I mean if he's happy ???

> Don't mind the formatting, and sorry to respond like WAY past when this conversation was relevant T_T. I read it right away but the timing got off with actually being able to type stuff out.

#angel answers #long post #discourse #🦷 anon #ask to tag #negative #cc critical #if u like schlattit is #sidjfd

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lilyharvord · 4 years ago

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The Secret Correspondence of the Dancing War - Part 2

A/N: The second part of the accurate epilogue of Broken Throne (because Victoria did not give us the closure we deserved and wtf did the walking fortune cookie get the write it? (Rude)), decoded by @elane-in-the-shadows and myself. (((: Fine part 1 here

ii. Mare

August 17th 330

Farley,

I think that Clara might like my room on the base more than yours. She says she likes the view of the pond. Which is good, because she’s been asking Kilorn to take her out to swim almost every day. He says she caught a fish the other day. I don’t really believe him, but he insists. She’ll probably write to you about it. She’ll probably also mention our… failed attempt at cooking chicken. No one was harmed in the process. She might exaggerate what happened. Your daughter is more dramatic than Evangeline. She misses you though, more than anything. She says my hugs aren’t the same, but they’re “okay enough”. I know Ada is supposed to have her right now, because I was supposed to leave for the front a week ago, but… something came up, so I’ll be watching Clara until you get back from your location.

On one hand, I feel bad using the same envelope as your daughter to send you my letter, but I really don’t want to walk all the way across the base and get a second envelope just to send this. Besides, I know Clara’s letter will be secure, so mine will also. And security and discretion is sort of important right now.

Clara has no idea what’s happening with me, although I think she’s starting to figure it out. She unfortunately inherited Shade’s observations skills which means I have no secrets anymore. At least, no secrets between the two of us. I don’t think that’s bad though. I was tired of secrets a long time ago. I guess that is also why I feel such a desperate need to tell someone this. I should probably write to Cal, but his location is NOT secure right now, which is probably why he hasn’t written to me. I’m going to have to wait until he gets back from the front to tell him. I don’t know how long that will be either, which means I have to tell you. I guess I thought you would understand. Please just… I need advice. I know you’d probably tell me to figure it out on my own, but you’ve always had a knack for thinking your way out of tough situations.

I wish I’d figured it out sooner. I think I knew for a while, I just didn’t want to think about it. If I was right, it would make life stupidly complicated. Being around Clara these past few weeks has sort of changed everything though. And while a part of me is (this sounds so stupid) happy… I’m scared too. The minute I saw the results, I had half a mind to find a healer and get a procedure, to just get rid of it. How can I justify bringing something so fragile into the world? But then it moved, I thought I imagined it, but then it did it again… and Farley I couldn’t. If that’s selfish of me, I don’t know.

Of all the times for this, now is really not the best. But for you, it wasn’t the best time either and you got through it. You stayed with the war effort, but the more I think about it, the more I think I need to leave the front completely. While I have nothing against how you raise your daughter, the way Clara looks whenever someone knocks on the door makes my stomach clench and my throat burn. I know she’s just waiting for news that you’re never coming back. Especially after the whole Tiraxes deal fell through last year and we didn’t hear from you until you returned a week later. I don’t want… I don’t want my child to have that fear. I don’t want them to be looking out the window wondering when I’ll be home or if Cal is ever going to come back. I dont need want that for her them it her. I can’t believe that I wrote that. But some part of me fluttered when I did. Forgotten gods I hope I haven’t messed her up. I was just at the front a month ago. She was there, she was there with me and I was running directly into the line of fire. I’m glad I didn’t know then though. I would have made a mistake. I know I would have.

My heart tells me to leave. That I need to go back to Montfort. That if I truly want this, then I have to be there for her. But my mind tells me it’s selfish. That I’m not thinking about the future and about the people like us who have suffered for years. But then I think about what she’ll be like, who she’ll be, and I suddenly have this desperate need to run under a rock and hide. I know the Session will hunt her down, and after all the attempts on Clara, I feel sick just thinking what they will do to get their hands on mine.

I just don’t know what to do. I’d ask Cal but I know what his response will be. He’d tell me to go, and he’d come with me. But I can’t pull him away from the front either. We both make such a difference there at times. Is it selfish to do that? To take my family and run? I need your help. Please write as soon as you can.

Mare

PS: if the healer’s wrong and it’s a boy... I want to name him Shade. I hope you understand that… and are willing to give your blessing. If not, I understand.

@elliemarchetti @farleydiana @scxrletguardsdawn @petergrantkavinsky @freaky-freiday @inopinion @mareshmallow @evangelineartemiasamos @evangeline-of-montfort @delilahlbard @king-maven-calore @whatsup-gorls @redqueenetwork

#red queen #the secret correspondence of the dancing war #glass sword #kings cage #war storm #broken throne #post broken throne #regina and I rewrite the epilogue #cause why the fuck did Jon get to do it?#red queen fan fiction #red queen fanfiction #mare barrow #cal calore #diana farley #clara farley-barrow #guess which barrow calore baby is born first #lol you'll find out in the next letters XD #marecal #kilorn warren

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renjunsmom · 5 years ago

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What is love? | l. jeno

Ghost! Jeno x Human! reader

a/n: im back!! well i dont know if i’ll continue writing on this blog but this has been sitting in my drafts for forever so i figured i would just finish it and post it. i’ll be writing on my new hq writing sideblog @happytsukki !! hope you enjoy, its kinda messy oops.

some say “new year, new me” but unfortunately for you it also meant a new house

moving was just as bad as you think

the trouble of unpacking and packing,,,,the worst part was having to adjust to the entirely new environment

so it was pretty lonely

well, until you met the ghost that lived in your new house

i know what you’re thinking

it was horrifying at first

one day you were simply trying to put away extra plates on the top shelf in the kitchen

feeling accomplished you began unpacking something else

you placed the heavy box onto the counter not even realizing you shook the stack of plates directly above you

a plate was imminently gonna fall on you

luckily for you the boy living in your house caught it as it grazed your hair

looking up you see the plate and turn to your savior

SCREAAAAAAAAMMMMMM

you didn’t know if you were most shocked about how attractive the guy’s face was or the fact that this was a stanger in your home

you quickly grabbed the nearest thing to protect you

a spatula

“back off, or i-i’m gonna flip your ass outta here” you threatened

instead of retreating back in fear the odd boy began laughing

he held his stomach as tears began falling from his eyes

“you’re threatening me with a, a spatula???”

you gave him a death stare

“okay okay fine. i’m lee jeno, your roommate i guess you could say.”

hOL UP

“roommate?? who is you???”

jeno put out his hand and gave you a bright smile

“my bad, let me be more specific: i’m a ghost and i can’t leave this house”

this sounded like a load of bs to you,,,so you pushed his hand out of the way and examined him

“a ghost?”

his skin did seem to be unusually fair and under his cute eyes were so heavy bags

“believe it or not, i, lee jeno am a ghost but don’t worry. i know how to pass on peacefully, but i’ll need your help.”

the next few months made you feel like sherlock holmes

you agreed to help jeno pass on by helping him find out what happened to his parents

living in the same house with him was extremely difficult

he was always popping up in random places, giving you the biggest jumpscares

when your parents came home from long business trips it wasn’t easy hiding him

but jeno became your best friend and gave some damn good love advice

you had a crush on na jaemin, the boy next door

he was basically perfect package 📦

sadly you could never muster up the courage to converse with him

but jeno insisted

first he threw a rock from your window to his

then he left your window open which seemed like an open invitation to talk

next thing you knew you were laughing and talking with THE na jaemin

it was a dream come true

for you

while the stars in your eyes shined brighter and your smile grew bigger everyday

jeno stood at the side admiring how beautiful you were

how he wished that he met you in his lifetime

he wondered if ghosts could have feelings, if they even had hearts

because if he did, his beat uncontrollably for you

“what is love?”

he asked you out of the blue one night

you thought long and hard:

“well love comes in many different forms, but love is caring for someone unconditionally sometimes without reason. its their image constantly creeping into your brain and just the sound of their voice giving you heart palpitations. most of all its the ability to accept their flaws and imperfections.”

jeno was mesmerized by your words

but the thought saddened him

“i wish i fell in love before i, you know, died” he confessed

you looked into his sullen eyes, feeling the deep pain he suffered from

oh how you wished you knew what to tell him. what are you supposed to tell a ghost? you wished you could tell him that he would eventually find someone, someone who could give him the world, like he deserved. but fate proved to be cruel and deep down you knew the circumstances were different.

you wrapped your arms around him in a hug, giving off the warmth and love he’d been longing for

“but i happened to fall in love in my afterlife” he whispered

you didn’t hear, already drawing back from the warm embrace by that time.

exhaustion fell over your body and you let out a yawn. “i’m sleepy now jeno. goodnight and sweet dreams.”

He nodded and walked towards the door but before leaving he looked at you, laying there so peacefully. how your mouth hung slightly ajar and the way you snored ever so lightly caused his lips to curl up.

“goodnight, my love.”

the next morning you quickly grabbed breakfast and darted for the door. last week you promised jeno you would look into his death more.

but something stopped you. at your doorstep stood a couple in their late 40s. their faces soaked with tears and eyes swollen red. in the man’s hand was a picture frame.

“oh, i’m sorry, we didn’t realize someone was home right now. we’ll leave immediately.” he spoke between his sobs.

the woman next to him wailed, clutching her heart and holding a baseball. “w-we happened to pass by and we just wanted to reminisce by our old home. you see, our son died a year ago from a hit and run; he loved this home more than anything, except maybe baseball.” she managed to stifle out a dry laugh at the last part.

but your world stopped. suddenly you felt the presence of jeno by your side. his mouth hung agape and his eyes widened at the sight of the couple. “mom? dad?” he managed to whisper amidst his shock.

tears spilled down his eyes, but unlike his parents, his voice had no despair or pain. he simply laughed, “thank you. thank you for visiting me today.” He took a step forward and tried to wrap his arms around his parents, but they immediately fell through and dissipated.

While the scene unraveled you could do nothing but stare at jeno and his parents. you wanted to yell: He’s right here in front of you! He didn’t go anywhere!

but you knew that only you could see him and instead you flung your arms around the strangers. sobbing along with them. “i’m sorry for you loss. I’m sure he was a great person.”

they felt so moved by your sudden sympathy and asked you if they could leave his picture here. you happily accepted, knowing that his spirit would soon be able to pass.

when they left you looked over at jeno, his eyes already boring into you with a grin planted on his face.

“hey, don’t look at me like that, i’m a mess” you whined, covering your face from his view.

“y/n. thank you.” was all he said. he inched forward and engulfed you in a hug, tighter than the other ones since he knew this would be his last.

“you’re so dramatic jeno.” you said into his shoulder. “i didn’t even do anything. i’m a pretty useless detective because they basically just came to me.”

He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and gently took your fingertips into his, “that may be so, but because of you i got to feel what love was. i thought i would leave this world without ever feeling my heart race or finding someone’s hands fit perfectly into mine.”

“i love you y/n. and though we didn’t meet in this life, i hope we can meet in the next one. i’m depending on it.” he declared, wiping away the single tear that fell from the corner of your eye. He leaned forward, holding his forehead to yours and and took in all the emotions.

He kissed the tip of your nose and you couldn’t help but giggle, “I should be thanking you jeno. you taught me love, and i wish i saw it earlier. you are love. now, you better not break your promise, we have to meet in the next life.”

He pulled back and smiled in endearment, “of course y/n. but don’t be a lonely cat lady, okay? be with jaemin, i can tell he’s a good guy and i want the best for you. goodbye my love.”

Then he disappeared without a trace. the only remembrance you had of him was the picture his parents gave you. written on the back was a surprise little note that read I’ll marry you in the next life, i promise. love, lee jeno.

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