#and i dont know if we're going to have a place to live much longer

[bittersweetblasphemy]

happy birthday to me.

landlord text us that the place finally sold, so our rent is probably going to go up if we're not straight up kicked out.

oh and then he went on to brag about how he and his wife are looking forward to their retirement.

[miiilowo]

attention. please

i have to do this again, unfortunately!

i've been homeless for a little over a year now. the place my mother and i have been staying is no longer an option, and we have to be out by tomorrow (august 8th 2023). we currently have no other shelter except our car, and i really dont know what we're going to do. its me, my mom, 3 cats and 5 kittens, and none of us have a place to go.

the money my mom is currently making isn't enough to support all of us, and we need extra money to spend on me getting an ID so i can get a job and/or get commissions up and running. alongside that, we just really really really need all the help we can possibly get in the financial department

the gofundme im linking has outdated information, but its a good place to donate if you can help us out. itd be greatly, greatly appreciated; we really need it right now if we want to continue. yknow. living

Edit: we now have an RV!

edit 2: the kicking-out-date was correct when i made this, but the person we're staying with has been nice enough to let us hang around until he's made sure the RV is ready to go (no leaks and whatnot). so im still at the house. if thats important information

edit 3: we are.....still at the house. despite the rv being fixed. i sort of feel bad because people donated in what we all thought was urgency, but he simply hasnt Actually Kicked Us Out Yet. i am grateful for that. we're trying to save as much of the donated money as we can for renting a space for the RV and to put down deposits for a house in the future !

its okay if you cant donate, but please share and reblog!!!!!

[blackpilljesus]

Personally, I think a bigger obstacle to overcome when it comes to moids isn't the physical but the social. Many believe that physical strength is the problem for women and while I wont discount it; it's not the main problem imo. It's possible to take down much bigger people/things with the right mind + tools; it's why humans are on top of the animal kingdom despite being below average in speed/height/strength compared to other species. Weapons like tranquillisers & guns were created to kill much bigger animals; vehicles were created to travel at faster speeds than we can cover with our legs. Things like this allowed humans to architect the world around us.

Women have been able to take down moids despite them being physically stronger - women poisoned & shot moids fatally. Before puberty for maIes sets in, many young girls are able to physically defend themselves from moidlets in a similar age range however this brings social issues. Regardless of self defense laws in many countries women get punished for fighting back. Many women are in prison or have been charged for fighting back against their abusive partners while the law turns a blind eye at maIe abusers. Women receive longer sentences on average for killing in self defense than moids do for killing women in cold blood. Women are told to go through the legal system which only delays the inevitable of the moid taking her life cause the system is useless. Women are set up to fail and society is set up to habour moid evil.

There's a place called Longyearbyen near the north pole. It doesn't have typical day/night cycles, has one main shopping center, and people aren't allowed to die there bc it's so cold there's risk of infection as the bodies don't decompose, oh and they live among bears. All the citizens must be trained with guns so they can shoot a bear if it ever poses a threat. Now despite bears being much bigger & stronger than humans, humans are able to be near them and build lives independently bc they're able to take down bears* that are a threat. In any reasonable non maIeworshipping society that still kept xys around a similar thing could be done; for women to be armed to shoot moids when they pose a threat so they can at least walk around with a peace of mind. Because it's not just a thing of biology or socialisation when it comes to moid degeneracy, many of them abuse women because they know they wont face consequences for their actions as society paves the way for them to abuse women. In a nigerian state state the government were offering gun licenses to people so they can defend themselves from bandits (no victim blaming, no telling the citizens to 'pick better', etc because the system doesn't benefit from bandits as it does from maIe violence).

In the 1900s when women successfully used hatpins to fend off moids that wanted to sexually assault them, they got regulated, hatpins had to have protection & could only be a certain length. So not only is it not a fair fight physically but socially. Many women who've been trafficked get imprisoned for fighting & killing their captors. You dont see moids who are killed or harmed by women defending themselves get blamed for it for initiating attacks but women get blamed for being on the end of moid degeneracy. It's more difficult to fight the social differences because as humans we're social creatures typically bound to the laws + cultural views of the land even when women defend themselves they're seen as extremists or the abusers themselves which brings being ostracised + further abuse. Mixed sex societies are practically open air prisons women are held hostage in.

*Given that bears are a hot topic lately, imagine humans forced to live around bears defenselessly bc the bears benefitted from it. Imagine after numerous bear attacks that humans are still expected to be around bears (with no protection) & are just told to find good ones to trust even though they all have the capacity for their violence. Imagine people getting into politics over which bears are worse or more vulnerable (black, brown, white) meanwhile they're all dangerous as a whole. Imagine a chance that humans had to fight back against a bear attack & win yet they get punished by other bears for doing so but nothing happens if it's the other way around. I can go on but it starts to come together how fucked & a set up to fail mixed sex societies are for women & before anyone tells me "but bears aren't human!1!" for the past month most women have said they'd rather be with bears than moids in the forest.

[leynaeithnea]

I didnt get an ask for this BUT WE'RE BACK

my Wisdom saga reaction/analysis!!!!!

26. Legendary

TELEMACHUS MY BOYYYY

THE MELODY AT THE BEGINNING OF LEGENDARY IS SO COOL

the instruments aaah, lowkey obssessed

"its jus tme myself and i" perimedes would like u

"living in this world you left behind".........this song makes oyu think so much about what life has been in Ithica in those years since Odysseus had to leave, he was loved, he is *King*, AH

"dreaming of all these monster, that ill never to get to fight" better this way, u dont wanna end up like your daddy

"but boy i wish i could so i could bring the world some light" BABY BOY

"Cause I'm stuck with your stories, but no clue who you are And no idea if you're dead or just too far" his mother wouldve told him so many stories :aniTears:

"Somebody tell me, come and give me a sign if I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?" PLS HE jusT WANTS TO FIND HIS DAD GIVE THIS MAN HIS FATHER

"If so, then give me sirens and a cyclops Give me giants and a hydra" hes just naming every monster he can think of of the myths he grew up with

"I know life and fate are scary but I wanna be legendary" U GO BOY; I LOVE YOU, also such a mood

"I'll fight the harpies and chimeras, the Minotaur, even Cerberus I know life and fate are scary but I wanna be l-l-l-l-legendary"....yea same like the two parts before, any monster he can think of, he gotta be one of us kids who read a lot

THEN The droppp in his voice, HE SOUNDS SO SCARED

"There are strangers in our halls" That must be TERRIFYING, just imagine that, dozens of men in your home just prying on your mother and youre too young to do anything rly

"Trying to win the heart of my mom, but she is standing tall" THAT VOCAL PERFORMANCE, W FOR PENELOPE; GIRLBOSS

"108 old faces of men who call me small" EW; 108 IS SO MANY BRO; SO MANY????? Also "old faces" ISJGSEIGJ "who call me small" boy, i feel so bad for you

"They keep taking space and it's not much longer we can stall" !!!! HES WORKING WITH HIS MOTHER TRYING TO HOLD THEM OFF; AH AAAAH, also fuck them, leave their home alone, god he must feel so unsafe in his own home :screams:

"'Cause they're getting impatient, dangerous too" oh no :( so scared lil boy

"And I would fight them if I was half as strong as you" HE LOOKS UP TO HIM SO MUCH AH

"Somebody help me, come and give me the strength Can I do whatever it takes to keep my mom safe?" HES ALSO A MOMMY BOY; AND HONESTLY GOOD FOR HIM; STAND BY HER SIDE; U GO BOY, 🥹

Chrous SLAPs

"Where is he? Where is the man who'll have you to wife? " bitch stay away (also cut song reference!)

"Where is he? Where is the man with whom you'll spend your life?" HE IS ON His WAY HOme SO STAY THE FUCK AWAYYYYYYYY ARGG ILL FIGHT U

"Cause it's been 20 years, 20 years" 20 FUCKING YEARS??? THATS AS OLD AS I AM (and telemachus for that measure, same age, yay!) BUT BRO IMAGINE WAITING FOR YOUR HUSBAND TO COME HOME FOR 20 YEARS; PENELOPE X ODY OTP; PENELOPE FIGHTING OFF 108 SUITORS FOR 20 YEARS AND ODY FIGHTING OF *GODS* Trying TO TRAP AND USE AND KEEP HIM, THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER

"And we still have no king" >:) >:) imagine an island without leader for 20 years oh boy h boy, the power vacuum, 108 people who want to take his place

"Give me a chance, a single opportunity and I'll overcome these obstacles and scrutiny and-" HE WANTS TO SO BADLY he juST DOESNT KNOW HOW AND WHEre TO START BC AH, also the music sounds like he just tries to sneak around his palace, to not get caught by the suitors, dodging and on guard, i can just imagine him ducking his head and looking at every corner for smth danger-

"Boy".......that slapped hard, FUCK YOU ANTINOUS (hi perimedes :) )

"When's your tramp of a mother gonna choose a new husband?" FUCK YOU STAY AWAY (the dELIVERY)

"OoooOOoh" we have a new choir! the crew is ded but we have the suitors now hah, ill take it, love me some choir responses

"Why don't you open her room so we can have fun with her?" THE AUDACITY? WHORE FUCKING BASTARD STAY THE FUCK AWAY

"Dont you dare, call my mother a tramp" U GO BOY; TELL HIM (be careful, dont get hurt) THE VOCAL DELIVERY OF THAT LINE IS SO gOOD

"OoooOOoh" chiorr

" I just did, Whatchu gonna do about it, champ?" FUCK OFF ANTINOUS, DONT BE SO SMUG FUCK U

"Somebody tell me, Come and give me a sign, If I fight this monster, Is it you I'll find?" u desrve your dad so much, he'll come home, promise...promise....hold on, be stronk, u got this boy, also "this monster" its none from your stories, no this is real, its worse its right infront of you AH

Sorry for the swearing :") AH I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH, ONE OF MY FAVS FOR SURE (...we'll come back after recency bias but i dont think itll change)

EDIT: DANGER MOTIF WHEN ANTINOUNS JOINS IN!!!!! (are there more? im new to this PLS TELL ME)

@lorethebookworm

[luthienne]

what do you do for a living? (/job?) I am currently in a crisis and need some guidance. I look up to you a lot, I love your blog, we have the same passions for poetry and writing and music, even daredevil! My crisis is that I dont know what to do. In university I take classes but I dont know what I want to be. My art and writing feel pointless sometimes. All the jobs i want to do I know im not skilled enough to achieve or itd be very hard to get by. If you dont mind giving out advice... please help! ❤

hi anon <3 i think that figuring out what we're supposed to do for a living often gets tied to the idea that we're supposed to find that one niche in the world where we fit, where we're meant to be and where we're meant to contribute; where we're meant to shine, and find deep meaning in our own lives. and maybe that does happen for some people. but in reality i think we're all capable of doing many different things, and finding purpose in many different things. and in working toward many different skillsets we acquire different skillsets that apply to many other types of work.

and i don't think anything is ever set in stone. i got my undergrad & grad degrees in music, and then i found that i didn't have it in me to be a part of that world anymore. and i felt that i had no meaning in my life without it. i was No One without music, i had no identity outside of my voice—despite the deep sense of purpose and fate, even, that i felt for my life up until that moment in music, in singing, in acting. up until that moment i knew in my bones my purpose in life. and then the ground was swept out from under me. it didn't matter that i had known with certainty what my life was supposed to be because it wasn't that any longer. and i realized that i could never again tie my identity to my art, to my music, to my writing, to my job. my voice has a purpose not because it must be enough to sustain me financially or because enough people have validated my talent but because it brings me joy. i came back to music because singing brought me joy again; i thought i would never feel that again.

something i have learned through this is 1) music, like most other art forms, is not a meritocracy; there is no such thing as "you are an excellent [artist/singer/writer] and therefore you will have the career owed to you" because so much more than merit and hard work go into careers like this. it takes not only talent and work ethic but circumstance and luck and wealth. lessons cost money, coachings costs money, auditions cost money, applications cost money, travel costs money, wardrobe costs money. 2) the process is not the career. i love to practice, i love to learn music, i love to get into character, and to engage with my colleagues in rehearsal rooms and onstage. i don't love the abuse thrown at singers from directors and teachers and coaches, i don't love auditions, i don’t love the unpredictability of gig work and contract work, i don't love the expendable lens through which singers are viewed by the industry. i've come back to music but my goals have shifted.

all that to say, i don't think we have to know what we want to be. we don't have to want to be anything. our lives have deep meaning whether we have "successful" careers or careers that just pay the bills while we continue to pursue our creative loves. i wouldn't place too much importance on needing to find what you are supposed to be because you will become who you are supposed to be regardless. it is never a waste to pursue something we love, and we will acquire and internalize new skills in any field that we can apply to other fields. and maybe your interests will dramatically shift, or maybe not. i think it's very natural to have vocational shifts throughout our lives, and it's not indicative of failure. art that is made personally or professionally doesn't have more or less value based on its financial profit. the money i make from singing isn't enough to sustain me—i have to do other self-employment gigs to make up the difference. most artists do. but i don't regret the time and the heart i have invested in music, and i am sustained through the work i put into it, and sustained by the relationships and friendships that i have developed through it.

i send you my whole heart. i know how it feels to look at the future and not know what you're supposed to do with your one, precious life. sometimes we have to live in the uncertainty and know that it won't be like that forever. on the flip side, the moments of certainty won't last forever either. and in-between there is all the living we do. i promise you're not alone in this <3

[solobodor]

RAMBLE POST LETS GOOO !!!

so this was originally part of a longer post about chip that i got writer-blocked about so im taking it out to post it here

------------

Can we agree that chip have misophonia ? aka, selective sound sensitivity syndrome

i note that I have misophonia myself and that it is often associated with ADHD (which i have) and/or Autism. the link i made between canon element and this HC are based on my own experiences.

I've read people say that Chip is rude, canon dialogue from chip are really scares. we know the chip we see in game is not really "him" and the part that we DO see comes from a overly stressed out and scared chip. and every the override to me comes off as more of a defensive ??

when i read that his employer find him "rude" . i do think about the many time i was OVERSTIMULATED and ticked off and my only response was lashing out , as it often is with that syndrom ... it makes sense for someone else with misophonia to be seen as blunt, rude or "grumpy" when triggered and other people not realizing the stimuli that caused the reaction

I do read this as if his hat is more of noise cancelling apparatus around his "ears" and someone asking him to take it off could set off a negative reaction from him.

I wear a noise canceling headphone and gets really stressed out when i cant wear it or am asked to take it off.

but for a lot of people, even other people with misophonia sadly, they do not understand, see people wearing noise canceling apparatus as "disrespectful" when we're just .. trying to live ? going outside without my headphone is a NIGHTMARE...

Chip getting defensive about being asking to take off his hat 100% read as something similar to that experience ... on a second reading, it being a comfort object that he wear for comfort fits into the hc

the work force scares me a lot bc of misophonia, im scared to have to deal with noise i don't like, im scared of people not understanding my issues or weaponizing it (happens SOOO much often than you think, yall DO NOT tell other people your triggers)

Seen a character in media have similar mannerism as me AND HEY , dude won, he got his quiet place, thank you Jennifer <3 makes me really happy

I love this HC a lot and i dont need it to be confirmed to see it as canon, it is to me and it helps me a lot to see character in similar situation as me <33

[bbyquokka]

🥺 hey twinnie.. you know how it be with me rn.. just thoughts of getting fat hug from all the skz members, like how they all hugged chris during that lovers episode they did.

And I want a hug from you I hate distance rn 😭

group hug

ANGST/COMFORT BELOW CUT - MINORS, AGELESS AND DEFAULT BLOGS; DNI

warnings: fem reader, she/her pronouns used, ot8!, felix and reader are in an established relationship, mention of reader feeling grief. words: 0.7k ~ (707)

dont repost. dont translate. feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

you nuzzle under the duvet, broken hiccups in the form of sobs leaving your lips. curled in a fetal position as you hold the thing you treasure the most, close to your chest.

“why..” you whisper to yourself, heart shattering as you recall the events that's happened the last two days “just a bit longer. i thought we had more time with one another.”

tears roll down your cheeks, trickling down the bridge of your nose before landing on the mattress with a soft plop. your eyes are red, sore and puffy, lips chapped, throat sore. you have a headache and feel so tired, mentally and physically.

your body is heavy with grief, a piece of you feels like it's missing.

felix bites his lip as he stares at your closed door. you didn't mean to, but you snapped at him. he knows you're upset right now and that you didn't mean it, but it pains him to see you hurt and broken like this and not be able to do anything about it.

so he called the few people he falls onto when he is unsure of what to do - his members.

“she'll be ok.” minho softly says, noticing how the younger man is currently burning holes in your door.

“i know.” he sighs, playing with fingers. “i just wish i could do something, y'know.”

“she knows you're here for her, felix. we all are.” hyunjin gives felix a soft and reasuring smile.

“i just wish there was a way to show her that im here; that we're all here.” felix mumbles.

“sometimes it's best to leave people be during these times. maybe she doesn't want company right now and having company might make her worse?” jisung suggests, trying his best to reassure felix's mind.

“nah.. that's not like her.. she loves hugs and cuddles. loves skin on skin. we all know that with the way she clings to me!” everyone hums, nodding slowly.

“thats it!” chan says, slapping his thighs and pushing himself up off the sofa. felix watches chan approach your door, softly knocking with his knuckle.

“yn? it's chan.” he says softly. he pauses, listening to you sniffle and shift around.

“go away.” you choke out.

“you know i won't leave you, yn. felix is worried about you, as we all are!”

“chan. please, just leave me alone.” chan sighs softly, his stubborn side getting the better of him.

“im coming in.” he waits for your reply. silence. he opens the door and walks inside, the members watching and waiting; anticipating for you to scream at him to tell him to f off.

but you don't.

chan walks into the living area, your limp and tired body over his shoulder. you don't have the energy or willpower to fight him, he just scooped you up and put you over your shoulder.

“you can't isolate yourself, yn. not at a time like this.” chan softly states, placing you down on the sofa beside felix. you look down at your lap, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks for the nth time.

“watch me.” you mumble stubbornly.

“oh we will, doesn't mean we will let it happen.” seungmin hums.

“why though.”

“because we care for you and love you, yn. you don't have to do this alone. don't push away the people that are willing to help you. surround yourself with people that have positive energy, people that love you so much. it'll help lessen the burden.” felix says, gently taking your hand is his.

you look up at him, your vision blurred as tears spill. you grip onto felixs hand.

“i love you yn. you're not alone in this so don't push me or us away.” he gently strokes away your tears as you sob.

“i-im sorry. i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to.. it just, it hurts. it hurts so bad.” you babble, snot and tears free falling down your face.

“we know yn, but we're here. don't push us away. allow yourself to lean on us for support.” chan sits next to you, pulling your sobbing body into his chest. he hugs you tightly, the members all piling on top to surround you in hugs.

it's warm and soothing. its home.

note: i wish i could give you a bigggggg squeeze rn, thats all i've been wanting to do since. ilysvm & im always here for you ‹3

tags (open): not tagging because it doesn't feel right due to the nature of the fic/situation.

[our-t4t-experience]

hi Evan! Big fan of what you do on your page. I very recently got a boyfriend who is also a trans man. Do you maybe have any tips on how I can make this relationship last more than a month? (Knowing my luck…)

-🦦(if I ask anything else)

there are some things that are in your control and some things that are out of them. its worth mentioning that if you have been abused before, its more likely that you will either perpetrate those behaviors, or on the flip side, allow people to perpetrate those behaviors against you

in my experience i have had a lot of unstable relationships where the instability wasnt necessarily caused by me (or me alone) as much as it was the other person being abusive to me and me letting it happen

so this advice IS coming from a place of "ive been abused," if this isnt applicable, my apologies

-communication is very important and remembering that people communicate in different (and sometimes incompatible) ways is also very important. you may be extremely direct and dating someone whos a little sensitive. you may want to de escalate an argument by being by yourself and they may want to talk about it. its important to be able to compromise sometimes and for them to compromise sometimes if your communication styles arent aligned. my girlfriend has to be very direct with me because shes learned that while we're both southern and she has learned to approach boundaries and conflict in a passive, sugar coating way, because im autistic, that approach doesnt work, for example

-how do you express love? how does your partner express love? its important to show your love in a way that is fulfilling to you, but its also important to show your love in a way that your partner receives it. ive heard mixed things about the "5 love languages" test but honestly i did the test and it was decently accurate and may be a good start, its also worth noting that neurodivergent people may also express love in different ways than the "norm"

-never stop dating your partner. yall like flowers? get each other flowers! go on cute dates! send each other memes that make you think of the other person! never stopping trying to impress your partner can make for a more fulfilling and exciting long term relationship

-time together, especially later in your relationship, is super important. distance can make the heart grow fonder (trust me, we're long distance lol) but you dont want to be away from them all the time. work and family obligations can make that hard, but having time to yourselves is important, me and caspian sleep together on the phone every night, and thats one of my favorite parts of the day

-specifically trans advice, but your trans partners transition should be a celebration. ive heard from one trans man that you should be responding to your loved ones transition like you would if someone was having a planned and wanted baby, and thats good advice. get excited! get funny with it! get romantic with it! my girlfriends excited for me to get top surgery and that makes me feel very good about my transition

(past this is longer term advice)

-i dont usually like those "3 weeks 3 months 1 year" rule stuff, but in my experience, you can usually tell if youre compatible with someone by 3 months. this is enough time for the "honeymoon phase" to chill out a bit and youre more receptive to their flaws. by some point you should be able to know if these flaws are a dealbreaker (unless youre like me and have a fawn instinct lol), and ive also found that i can tell when a relationship is unhealthy USUALLY by around 3 months, at least in my subconscious

-i knew i wanted to marry caspian by 6 months of us being together, and we're not getting married right now for a couple different reasons mostly boiling down to we're just not ready yet, but id recommend waiting 6 months before you start thinking seriously about a future with this person

-a rule ive had for a long time regarding marriage with anyone is that i want to have lived with them for a full year before we get engaged. i dont live with my girlfriend and wont until probably the end of this year (our 7 months os tomorrow!) but i have lived with a partner and have found that you can find out a lot about a person by living with them for an extended period of time

if i missed anything lmk, anyone else is also free to give advice in the comments (:

[fallenwhumpee]

For the prompt, I have an idea ig.. Maybe public humiliation? Like being strung up, for the public to see, their hero or maybe their rebel leader along with two teammates, just how much power the oppressive force has and show the people what happens to people who try to rebel but they dont back down and maybe the rest of team rescues them? And right before leaving the three who were caught and tortured for the public to see let them know that the resistance never quits?

Hehe lemme know what you think!🐈‍⬛💜💜

Ooh this is awesome. I love it. So, here, have my try <3

The Show

• Masterlist •

Warnings: Public torture, humiliation, forced to watch, restrains, multiple whumpees, mentioned execution, mentioned past torture, open ending.

It wasn't supposed to end like this.

Fear was hardening their every muscle, their hands behind the stretching the metal cuffs digging into their skin. But the source of fear wasn't about the execution scheduled.

It was about the two lifes they were locked up with, and many more they were going to leave behind.

A part of them told that this was a sacrifice. The much needed trigger to finally make the public know about the torment people lived through outside of the capital. But that part was also angry that the people were too blind to see, blind enough to come and watch their execution like watching a movie.

That part was being overwhelmed by their grief. Grief of many deaths at the hand of the government.

All of that was still not enough to take over their fear.

They feared that the rebellion would suffer through this. They feared that the idea they fought for would be lost. They feared that people would obsess with it and become extremists— just as the resistance before them had become after losing their leader.

It would cost them the little sympathy they had. It would cost their— their family's sanity.

Right Hand would mock them forever for going soft if they had learned Leader called them a family.

But they no longer had the energy to lie to themselves. They no longer needed to protect themselves from the heartbreak that would come with the death of their close circle. They were dying before them. Their prayers for not seeing any of their team's death was accepted.

They tried the cuffs once more, a hand stopping them.

"You tried," Rebel One whispered. "Don't hurt yourself. It won't work."

"If I ever gave up when it—"

A guard shoved them to the wall, cutting their muttering.

"Don't speak."

"What about trying this after opening my binds?" They snarled.

"Leader!" Rebel Two hissed.

"And get a hole on my forehead like you? Thank you, but I value my life."

They couldn't hold back a laughter, the other two eyeing them with worry.

"And we're being run over by the government because of the fools like you. Have you ever thought that you shouldn't fear while you're doing your job?" they countered as their laughter died down.

The guard grew silent, and Leader turned to the other two.

"I think I can open your cuffs," they whispered.

Leader would die to protect the lit on the duo's eyes. They reminded Leader much of themselves with their sibling.

Their sibling, who was their trigger for standing up

They didn't want to think about that open wound, placing themselves in front of Rebel One as they reached to the cuffs. At least the duo had their hands at front, so it looked like they were just bundling up together.

One last time, Leader thought. They would get the duo out, but they weren't so sure about themselves.

It wasn't important.

It was hard to lift the plate covering the lock mechanism, but Leader's was determined. The two clicks were enough to assure Leader, the duo smiling as they placed the cuffs back like nothing happened.

"I want you to run when we get out of the vehicle."

"We're not—

"We're in no position to argue. And we all know the cuffs have a tracker inside. I won't risk your rescue."

"Still, we're not leaving you. You're our leader."

"And as your leader, I order you to run when you find the chance."

They still looked ready to protest, but Leader shot them a harsh look.

"Good."

The vehicle stopped soon after, the guard outside opening their cell and the one in targeting their weapon to Leader's back.

It would be a huge mistake if Leader didn't have their hands tied.

They sighed and motioned the others with a nod.

As soon as they stepped down to the concrete floor, they slammed their elbow to one of the guardians' stomach, the other motioning to them.

It was a mistake when there were multiple captives.

Keeping the attention on themselves, they managed to slam their head and break the nose of the guard that slammed them to the wall before. They were brought to their knees as a gun was slammed to their neck, their vision blurring for a moment.

"Did you really think that we wouldn't have a security around here? You only annoyed us more," Whumper chirped, throwing the two right in front of Leader.

A hitched breath escaped their lips.

"One would think a rat like you wouldn't have feelings. Where were they as you bombed and killed dozens of my people?"

No. Leader didn't attack to mere places. And people who weren't in mere places weren't very innocent.

Whumper pulled Leader from their collar. Leader was a lot shorter than them, and they were soon standing on their tips.

"I will enjoy the show you'll put up."

Leader could only snarl as they were dragged to somewhere else, the grunts of the duo following them. Their struggle was useless, their starved and unused body failing them in mere seconds.

"No one should realise that the nuisance they're dealing is just a mosquito buzzing at dark. Where's that sharp tongue of yours? You were more fun when we were gambling with the lives of our little pawns."

Their veins flared with anger as Whumper taunted them until they were brought to their knees under blinding lights. They squinted their burning eyes, their bones aching as Whumper pressed them down.

"Today I present you the murderer of many of our soldiers."

The crowd roared. Leader watched Whumper enjoy the attention before demanding silence with raising their hand. They turned to Leader, a wide and disgusting smile on their face.

"Your little rebellion dies with you tonight."

Leader's eyes finally succeeded to see the faces in the crowd, seeking a glimmer of understanding or empathy. Instead, they were met with cold stares and eager anticipation. The realization hit them like a physical blow—alone, vulnerable, and surrounded by the people either too afraid or brainwashed.

"You can kill me, but you can't shut the voices of reason," they just stared at Whumper. Whumper leaned on them a little, chuckling a little.

"I wish you had a microphone, but I couldn't risk you spreading your plague. Now tell it again."

"I said," they raised their voice but Whumper didn't let them finish, punching their face and sending them to the floor.

Leader spat blood onto the cold concrete, tasting the metallic bitterness. The crowd gasped, witnessing this for the first time.

Leader could perhaps go along with the show if they could show who actually was holding the strings of the government. And they had quite an image to destroy, Whumper's media experts were the best. But they didn't get much chance to do that.

Whumper didn't stop with a punch.

Kicks and hits targeted their openings, pain clouding their thoughts as their bones ached with each hit.

Whumper leaned in, whispering but spatting every word, "Your words mean nothing. You'll be forgotten, and your rebellion will die with you. Like a body with no head, it will crumble, and I will burn it down to ashes."

"They stood without me before," Leader wheezed as Whumper pulled them back to their knees.

"I was too busy with having fun with you that time. But without you in the frame, they will get all the attention. They deserve, don't they?"

"You don't dare."

"I'll enjoy every second of it."

With their body fueled by anger, they slammed their head to Whumper's mouth, causing them to stumble.

"You're weak," Leader panted as they stood. "You are nothing without the fear. And I don't fear you."

As the crowd watched in stunned silence, Whumper regained composure, wiping away the blood from their mouth.

"I dragged this out long enough," Whumper growled, drawing a dagger. "The sentence for disobedience is death. And your death will be an example for many."

Two guards forced them down, bending their arm and bowing their head.

"Severing your head would be kindness," Whumper came closer, stopping for a moment before striking with the dagger.

Leader gasped, unable to pull back as pain dug deeper.

Protests rose, the noise blending into the chaos of their own consciousness fading. But pain and shouts and tears and everything meant nothing.

Because they knew rebellion would move on, with Right Hand rushing to the stage and Rebel One disarming the guard holding them.

It was a good show. And Leader believed that the show would go on.

"They aren't taking you alive."

They felt the dagger crush their ribs as Whumper twisted it up, their breaths dying and body crumbling while Whumper pulled it back.

Their eyes closed with a smile on their face.

[jellybean-supreme]

My Friend from Childhood.

Description: Stiles and Derek have known each other since they were born, but when Stiles mom dies and the fire happens, they don't see each other at all. Until one day Derek comes back and Stiles thinks he doesn't remember him so he doesn't mention anything, until later that day when Derek finds him doing something.

My Mate

A/n : If you don't like it, please leave.

"What are you doing here? This is private property."

"Sorry man, I'm - we're looking for my friend heres inhaler." Stiles replies while looking like he just saw a ghost.

And why would anyone leave an inhaler on my property. It's not exactly the kind of place where someone would be running marathons.

" Yea, no, sorry, we were walking around the woods last night, we didn't know that this was private property or that anyone even lived here, sorry man." Stiles says as he looks the hot man in front of him up and down. This is definitely Derek hale. 'He's as hot as I remember,' Stiles thinks to himself.

*he rolls his eyes*

Walked around the woods? Last night? Do you just go around aimlessly walking around the woods at night? Do you how stupid that is. Even if I wasn't living here you could have injured yourself.

*he stands there arms crossed giving an unimpressed look*

"Yea, I didn't really make a fill proof plan, but hey, we found what we were looking for last night, so yea. Have you found a it, Scott? You almost have work." Stiles rambles to Derek, trying to not sat anything about Scott finding half of the dead body.

*he gives you a strange look*

Found what you were looking for? What's that supposed to mean?

"N-nothing, don't worry about it.-" Stiles stutters, realizing he said too much. "I found the inhaler Stiles. We can go." Scott says as he pulls Stiles alone with him rushes to Stiles's Jeep

*he watches in disbelief as the two teenagers hurry towards the jeep*

*he decides to follow the pair silently*

*he continues to follow them, staying hidden in the shadows as they make their way across the wooded area and reaches the Jeep.*

*he moves closer, still hidden but close enough to be able to listen to their conversation.*

"Dude, don't you know who that is?" Stiles questions as Scott shakes his head at Stiles' question. "That was Derek Hale. Dont you remember? He's only like 3 years older than us. His entire family died in a fire not too long ago. Only his uncle and sister survived." Stiles rambles some of the things he's read about Derek, not saying everything, of course, because he doubts Scott would want to know every single detail about Derek Hale that Stiles knows.

*he stands there concealed in the foliage, listening intently as the teenagers discuss who he is. He's a bit surprised by Stiles' extensive knowledge about him, but he doesn't make a move, remaining hidden and silently watching from afar*

*he continues to listen, still hidden, as the conversation between the two boys continue, his curiosity piqued by Stiles' detailed knowledge about him.*

"How do you even know so much about this guy, Stiles?" Scott asks curiously.

"Scotty, my boy, you should know that I started looking through my dad's case files since I was 7." Stiles replied.

*he remains silent, still listening to their conversation, impressed by Stiles' explanation and the fact that he'd have access to the county's case files.*

*he listens intently, still out of sight, intrigued by the revelation about Stiles' access to his father's case files*

"Come on enough about that. You're going to be late to work, and I'm very much grounded because of last night." Stjles says as he starts the Jeep.

*he watches as the teenagers prepare to leave, his mind still racing with the information he's just heard. He considers stepping out and confronting them, but decides to let them go for now, choosing to keep his presence hidden for a little longer*

*He has been following the teenage boy, who's name he figured out was Stiles, drive his friend to work and back home, and let me tell you Derek half enjoyed watching this teenager, until he forgot to take more of his Adderall. Let's just say he had some fun, and Derek, oh poor Derek had to deal with smelling the arousal and lust on this teenage boy who also just happened to be his mate.*

*Derek continued to follow Stiles discreetly, his sharp senses picking up on the slight change in his scent. He could smell the lust and arousal on the teenage boy, a subtle yet unmistakable scent. His irritation grew as he recognized the effect that the teenage boy was having on him, and he found himself struggling to control his own desires in response*

*Derek clenched his teeth, his frustration growing at the effect Stiles' scent was having on him. It was taking all his willpower to keep himself in check, and he knew he needed to keep his distance to maintain his control*

He couldn't lose control right now, but he also couldn't maintain control much longer. He needed Stiles. He needed his mate. As these thoughts went through Derek's head, he climbed up through Stiles's window.

*Derek silently scales the side of the house and climbs through Stiles's window, slipping into the dark room. He takes deep breaths, trying to calm himself and maintain control, but the strong scent of his mate in the small enclosed space only fuels his primal urges*

"Ahh-ahhhhhhh Derek," Stules moaned, not relzing that Derek was in his room. Before the fire happened and before Stiles's mom died, Derek used to be friends, this is obviously when they were very little, but Stiles members it like it was yesterday, the day he met his crush, is forever crush. The one person who he'll never get over.

*the sound of Stiles moaning his name sent a shiver down Derek's spine. He stands frozen, watching as the boy writhes on the bed, completely unaware of his presence in the room. The memory of their childhood friendship comes rushing back to him, stirring up old feelings that he thought he'd buried*

"Derek, ahhhh-hh, I need you. Why couldn't you remember me in the woods?" Stiles moans out what he thinks as he strokes himself faster.

*Derek's eyes widen as he realizes what is happening in front of him. Despite the overwhelming urge to act on his desires, he remaines still, watching his mate, as the sound of his name escaping from Stiles' lips sends a wave of possessiveness coursing through him*

"Stiles, I remember you, I remember you very well." Derek says with a smirk when he sees a naked Stiles flinch at hearing his voice.

Derek walks closer as he quietly adds. "I need you too, but I don't want to hurt you."

*Derek's fists clenches at his sides as he tries to maintain his composure. He wants to move closer, to claim what is his, but he knows that he needs to resist, at least for now*

*Stiles freezes, his heart racing as he hears Derek's voice. He turns to look at Derek, eyes wide, his previous actions now forgotten as he scrambles to cover his very naked form with a thin bedsheet*

"You don't have to worry about hurting me, Derek.I need you. Please." Stiles says as he slowly takes the bedsheets off of his body.

*Derek stands there for a moment, taking in the sight of his mate flushed and flustered. He moves closer, his eyes roaming over Stiles' body, his Alpha instincts demanding that he take what is his*

*Derek's breath hitches as the bedsheets falls away, revealing Stiles' naked body. He takes a step forward, closing the distance between them as his eyes darken with desire*

"Stiles, I can't, I won't be able to stop myself. You're my mate." Derek says to Stiles as he stops dead in his tracks.

*Stiles' heart races as Derek mentions that he's his mate. He looks up at Derek, breathless, his own desire coursing through him. He knows what it means, to be a mate*

"I don't care," Stiles whispers, his voice quivering with need. "I want this. I want you, Derek."

"Stiles, if I do this, I'll claim you, you'll be stuck with me forever, well, basically be married, and divorce isn't an escape." Derek whispers as he tries to convince Stiles to think this through. He didn't want his mate to ever be unhappy.

*Stiles looks up at Derek, his breath catching in his throat. He could see the concern and hesitation in Derek's eyes. This was a big decision, but it was one he knew he wanted to make*

"I don't care," Stiles repeats, his voice steadier now. "I want this. I want to be with you, forever. I want to be yours."

As Stiles says this, Derek is no longer in control of himself. His wolf is, his wolf rips Derek's clothes off as well as Stiles's shirt.

*As Stiles spoke, it was as if a switch had been flipped. Derek's wolf takes over, tearing off his own clothes and then Stiles' shirt in a display of primal desire.*

*Derek moves closer, his body pressed against Stiles', his hands roaming over the boy's bare skin as he claims him with a possessive growl*

*Stiles trembles under Derek's touch, his body responding eagerly to the Alpha's dominant presence. He can feel Derek's hands exploring every inch of him, igniting a fire in his veins that only Derek can put out*

*Derek's breathing is heavy, his control slipping further and further away. He nuzzles his face against Stiles' neck, inhaling the scent of his mate, the scent of his arousal. He growl lowly, his lips tracing a path up Stiles' jawline till they reach his ear*

"Mine," He whispers, his voice a rough husk, "All mine."

"Ye-s Der-ek, I'-I'm all-l y-ours. Sho-w me h-ow m-uch you lo-ve me and hzow m-uch you wa-nna cla-im m-e." Stiles moans out as Derek's lips come to his ear.

*Derek growls in response, his control finally snapping. Hearing Stiles' words and his scent driving him wild, he moves down again, kissing and nipping at the boy's neck and shoulders. His hands roam over Stiles' body, holding him in place as he claims him as his own*

"You're mine," He growls against Stiles' skin, his teeth scraping gently against his neck. "I'm going to mark you, make you mine for all to see. Everyone will know who you belong to."

"Mark me Derek. Make me yours and only yours." Stiles moans

*Derek growls in approval, his teeth grazes against Stiles' neck, nipping gently at first before sinking in, marking him. He can feel their bond snap into place, cementing their connection*

*He pulls back, his eyes dark with possession and desire as he looks down at Stiles. "You're mine now, my mate. No one else will ever lay a hand on you. You belong to me, and only me."

"I'm yours." Stiles whimpers, the nipping hurt Stiles even though Derek was being gentle, it wasn't like a bad hurt, it was more of a omg this feels so good.

*Derek's heart clenches at the sound of Stiles' whimper. He knows that the marking process can be painful, but he also knows that the connection they now share is worth it.*

"Shh, it's okay," he murmurs against Stiles' skin, his tongue licking gently at the mark. "It's almost done."

*He continues to soothe his mate, holding him close as he finishes the marking process, claiming Stiles completely as his own*

"I need you, Derek. Ahhhh-uuhh." Stiles moans.

*Derek growls in response to Stiles' moans, his desire and need overwhelming any remnants of his control. He kisses and nips at Stiles' neck and collarbone, leaving behind marks of his own claim*

"I know," he whispers, his voice rough. "I need you too."

*He moves, pressing Stiles down onto the bed, his body covering his mate's, his eyes dark with desire*

"Please, Derek, take me, I need to feel you in me. I need you, please." Stiles moans as his eyes go from loving and  patience to lust and desire

*Derek's control snaps at the sound of Stiles' desperate plea. The need in his mate's voice and the love in his eyes pushes him over the edge. He presses closer, his body covering Stiles' completely, his lips finding the boy's neck once again*

"Is that what you want, my mate?" he growls, his voice deep and rough with desire. "You want me to take you, to make you mine in every way possible?"

"Yes, Derek. I want you to make me your mate in every way possible. Please." Stiles moans

*Derek's control has completely evaporated now. His primal instincts take over, driven by his mate's words and the scent of his desire. He growl possessively, his hands roaming over Stiles' body, his lips and teeth leaving marks in their wake*

"Good," he husks, his voice filled with dominance and lust. "Because I'm going to make sure you never forget who you belong to."

*Derek doesn't give Stiles a chance to respond. He moves down, his lips and tongue tracing a path down the boy's chest, leaving behind a trail of kisses and nips. He doesn't pull away until he reaches the beginning of Stiles's V-line. He looks up at his mate, his eyes burning with desire and possession*

Sriles sees Derek waiting, and Stiles nods as if telling him yes. (A/n: We love a man who waits for consent to be given)

*Derek's eyes bore into Stiles' for a moment, his chest heaving with desire. Seeing the nod, he smirks, knowing that Stiles is giving him the permission he wants*

"Good boy," he praises, his voice deep and rough with desire. "I'm going to make you feel so good, my mate."

*He doesn't wait any longer, his hands on Stiles' hips as he leans down, his lips moving lower.*

*Derek's lips leave a trail of kisses down Stiles' torso, his tongue darting out to taste the boy's skin. He can feel the heat of Stiles' desire between them, the scent of it only fueling his own need*

"You taste so good," *he growls, his hands roaming over Stiles' thighs as he positions himself in between them*

I*Derek looks up at Stiles, his eyes dark with possession and lust. He can see the desire in Stiles' expression, the way his chest rises and falls with quickening breath. He grins, knowing that he's about to give his mate exactly what he craves*

"You ready for me, mate?" he asks, his voice a rough husk as he positions himself at Stiles' entrance.

Stiles nods.

"I need words, my love." Derek says lustfully.

"Ye-s Derek, I'm ready." Stiles whimpers with desire, not wanting to wait any longer for Derek.

*Derek smirks at the sound of Stiles' desperate whimpers, his wolf howling with satisfaction at the submission of his mate. He leans down, his chest pressed against Stiles' as he looks into his eyes*

"That's a good boy," he whispers, his voice rough with desire. "You're going to be mine, Stiles. All mine."

*He doesn't wait for a response this time. He slowly pushes forward, entering Stiles, claiming him completely as his own*

*Derek moans at the sensation of finally being inside his mate, his eyes closing in pleasure. He can feel the connection between them strengthening, the bond between them solidifying as they become one*

"Mine," *he growls possessively, his hips moving slowly at first, easing himself in and out of Stiles' tight heat* "You're mine, all mine."

"Ahh-ah I- I'm all yo-urs, a-ll y-ours" Stiles moans as Derek thrusts deeper into him.

*Derek's senses are overwhelmed by the sound of Stiles' moans and the feeling of his mate's body beneath him. He moves faster now, his hips thrusting forward with a steady rhythm, claiming Stiles completely as his own*

"That's right," he grunts, his voice low and rough with desire. "You're mine, all mine. No one else can have you. You're mine to cherish, to protect, to love."

*Derek's thrusts deepen with each whimper from Stiles, his possessive instincts taking over as he claims his mate completely*

"Damn right you are," *he growls, his voice thick with need and desire. "You belong to me, all mine."

*He grabs Stiles' hips, his dick digging into the soft flesh as he quickens his pace.*

*The sound of Derek's growling and Stiles' moans fill the room, their breaths coming in ragged gasps as they lose themselves in the moment.*

"You feel so good, mate," Derek growls, his hands gripping Stiles' hips tightly. "So tight, so perfect. You're mine, and I'm never gonna let you go."

*He leans down, his lips finding Stiles' neck, his teeth grazing against the mark he left earlier*

"D-der I'm going to cum, ahhhh. Derek, please. Cum with me. Ahhhh-uhh." Stiles moans as Derek goes faster and harder, hitting every single one of his good spots.

*Derek can feel his own control slipping as Stiles' whimpers and pleas pour into his ears. The sound of his name on his mate's lips is driving him wild, his primal instincts taking over as he loses himself in the sensations*

*Derek can feel his own release building as he hears Stiles' words and feels his body responding to the pleasure. He can feel the heat between them.

*Derek growls in response, his own release on the brink. Hearing Stiles' needy pleas and feeling his body responding to his touch pushes him over the edge. He can feel the bond between them strengthening even more, the connection between them becoming unbreakable*

"Ahh, my mate," he moans, his voice rough and husky. "I'm right there with you."

*His hips move frantically now, driving into Stiles with even more intensity as he pushes them both towards orgasm.*

*Within moments, the pleasure is too much to bear, and Derek lets go, his body shaking with release as he finds his release within his mate. He moans loudly, his head falling forward as he clings to Stiles, the bond between them strengthening with each wave of pleasure*

"That's it, my mate," he whispers, his voice husky and rough, "Come for me. Let go, I've got you."

They both moan and grunt with pleasure, as they cum.

*As they both come down from their high, Derek pulls Stiles closer, their bodies fitting together perfectly in each other's arms. He nuzzles his face against Stiles' neck, his breath hot against the skin as he whispers softly:*

"You're mine, Stiles. My mate, my love, my everything.""I love you, Der, with everything i got." Stiles whispers into Derek's chest as he starts to fall asleep.

*Derek smiles as he hears Stiles' sleepy confession. He holds him close, his arms wrapped protectively around his mate as they both start to drift off to sleep. He drops a gentle kiss on Stiles' forehead, his heart swelling with love and pride as he thinks back on the events of the evening.*

"I love you too, Stiles," he whispers softly. "More than you'll ever know. Sleep now, my mate."

*Derek watches as Stiles drifts off to sleep, his face peaceful and content in rest. He pulls the blankets up over them, wrapping them both in a warm cocoon of comfort.*

*As he lies there, listening to the steady rhythm of Stiles' breathing, Derek can't help but feel a sense of contentment and safety. He's never felt this way before, not in all his years as a werewolf. But now, with Stiles in his arms, he feels whole.*

*He closes his eyes, letting the sound of his mate's heartbeat lull him into a peaceful sleep.*

THE END

[sangyeonsmuse]

BREAK THE WALLS | Kim Hongjoong

Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Full Chapter List

🀥 Government agent Hongjoong x Rebel Oc

🀥 genre | dystopian society, halazia x geurilla concept , enemies to lovers

🀥 word count | 2.7k

🀥 Summary | An organization by the name of Sector 1 was well known for their work in the underground, theyve been well known for the recruiting of teens and using them to form an army since the year 2034. Collecting strays for their rebellion against those in higher power. Now the year is 2064 and the organization still runs strong they run like a family, with the new technology theyve found ways of keeping alive those that have been scorned in any past battles theyve had against the government.

When the government sends in 7 of their best men to infiltrate the organization. What will they do when their cover is blown and their true intentions are revealed? Will they join the rebellion or will they continue to let the government pull their strings like the little puppets they once were?

"So its true then Yeonjun really does work for Sector 1 now, Eden will wanna hear this." Hongjoong paces the floor as he took the time to think things over.

"And he didn't recognize the three of you?" Seonghwa was quite surprised to know that the three came across yeonjun but he was even more surprised to have seen them return without their cover being blown

"Oh no i'm pretty sure he recognized us, why didn't he say anything i'm not so sure." San knew for sure he knew who they were, the way he had looked at them said it all

"You don't think he's still on our side do you?" Yeosang who the rest of them hadn't seen in quite some time spoke up

" I don't know..but when he comes in with that shipment tonight we're going to find out."

What that didn't know was that while they were making plans to speak with Yeonjun, Tahani planned to slaughter them all one by one.

"I don't know about this Tahani. I think before you make any moves you should tell Mingyu he should know they're trying to infiltrate again." Leedo sits the note onto the table before looking over to Jongho.

"Youre fucking kidding me right? I was right not to trust them the entire time and when I bring in the evidence the first thing you think to do is tell Mingyu? Mingyu hates the alaurians just as much as we do. He'll want them dead as well." Tahani was furious once again as they had let someone else into G unit and every single one of them turned out to be traitors.

"If neither of you will help, I'll kill them myself, and you can run and tell Mingyu that. Tonight every single one of them will die." With those final words she left the living quarters, slamming the door shut behind her.

The rage that boiled and bubbled up within Tahani that night sent her entire body into overdrive. And as she saw each of their faces one by one pile into the exchange dock where they recieve all of the crates she could no longer hold back. She drew her dagger and charged for hongjoong and in time Jongho had jerked her back from behind and in ran Leedo with Mingyu not too far behind.

"You shouldn't make these kind of moves without being ordered to Hira." Mingyus words and Jonghos refusal to let the girl go made her anger boil even hotter inside her.

"If you dont want to lose an arm i suggest you let me go Jongho."

Hongjoong, who had been less than five seconds away from death, simply stood in shock at the girl's sudden movements.

Mingyu's eyes were cold and unforgiving as they landed on the seven men all staring at Tahani in disbelief. "The seven of you seem to be out of place." After Mingyu spoke, a crowd of men came rushing in, led by yeonjun. They all took hold of the seven boys before either even had the chance to make any moves.

Skylar district November 5th 2064

The seven men found themselves waking up in a pitch black room. Just outside Leedo, Jongho and Yeonjun observe from a thick set of one way glass as both Tahani and Mingyu enter the room alone. When the lights flickered on each of them glanced around at one another before finally landing on Mingyu and Tahani that sat propped against the glass. For a while it was quiet, and the death glare that Tahani had been giving each and every one of them made things no better.

"We'll only speak to Yeonjun." Seonghwa spoke up, to which Tahani simply just laughed.

"Oh funny you think either of you get a choice on who you want to speak to here. Mingyu its a waste of time. Let me just kill them and end it here." Tahani glances over at Mingyu slightly annoyed that he had been silent for so long

"I've kept them along all this time, before we do anything with them i'm going to get answers." Was all he said

"What the fuck do you mean all this time. You mean to tell me you knew and you let them walk around here freely." Tahani was now even angrier than before, he knew how she felt about alaurians and he simply just let them in.

"I had my suspicions yes but I wasn't sure when i sent the three off with you and Yeonjun reported back instantly it gave me the confirmation I needed."

"So he does work for them." Wooyoung mumbles under his breath glaring at the one way glass as if knowing Yeonjun was there on the other side.

"Now, one of you can speak up and tell me why 7 alaurians have been wandering my organization or i can simply end things here and let Hira do what she's been craving to do since the moment she received yeonjuns warning."

"Like i said we'll only be talking to Yeonjun." Seonghwa repeats through gritted teeth, now that their cover was blown they no longer needed to put up their loyal facades.

To this Mingyu's brows perked up in amusement.

"Verywell then hm, Hira bring in Yeonjun." The girl moved over to the door compliantly before waving him inside.

"You disloyal bastard." San moved angrily in his chair as if he had been trying to break from the restraints which kept him bound there.

"Nice to see you too San." Was all Yeonjun said once he stepped into the room.

"They trusted you, all of us, Eden all trusted you. Whyd you do it." It was now Hongjoongs turn to get angry.

"Trust? What do any of them know about trust? Not one person in Alaura tower even knows the meaning of such a word." Yeonjun spat angrily

"Dont you dare speak ill of Alaura." Seonghwa spat back with just as much venom laced within his voice.

"Seonghwa, you always were one to follow eden and hongjoong and go in blind. Dont speak ill of Alaura? If only you knew the way eden once spoke of you." That seemed to make him fall silent.

"He's lying to you Seonghwa, what the hell makes you think we'd listen to a traitor." Wooyoung chimes in, his words earned a laugh from Tahani who had been observing the scene silently the entire time.

"You listen to Eden dont you?" Everyone's gaze then shot to Tahani who had heard just about enough.

"You seven dont even know whose side you're on don't you? Have either of you ever lived outside of that wretched tower youre fighting so hard to protect? You can sit here and call Yeonjun a traitor without even knowing that those you've chosen to follow have done more damage than any in OGALIA has ever done. We don't kill innocent families, we don't watch as the city rots and falls into poverty, we haven't sat and watched as generations and generations have been wiped out and we most certainly have never killed one of our own." At her words the room fell silent and both Mingyu and Yeonjun just sat and watched as she pulled up a chair to look Seonghwa straight in his eyes as she spoke.

"I was eleven years old when my father spoke at the rural building on behalf of the city. Eleven years old witnessing a man I idolized more than anyone in the world be nearly shot down for wanting better for his people. I was thirteen when I watched my mother cry and beg for the help of the same people that gave the greenlight to kill him two years prior. Twenty years twenty fucking years of my moms life was devoted to serving the Alaurians, twenty fucking years only for them to slam the door in her face and turn the other way when she cane pleading to them for help. Twenty years of her life only for her to die by their hands while her oldest daughter was away, working hard to make sure those same assholes got the karma they were deserving of. Those Alaurians that you are so loyal to, the ones you idolize so much and are willing to give your life to, wouldn't even blink an eye if you died. Isn't that right Yeonjun" at the mention of Yeonjun the silent boys switched their gaze to him. Lifting up his shirt he revealed a large open gash bound together by a metal plate.

"During the Alaurian issued explosion back in 2062, the accident that wiped out nearly half of Sector 1 they found me there and simply left me to die. They promised both Loren and my safety if we continued on with the mission but surprise surprise it was all a lie. Loren saw me lying there barely mobile and walked away without even sparing a second glance but these guys...these guys all came back without a second thought. Not only for their injured but every lost soldier of The Sector was found and given a proper burial that night. In exchange for my life, to make up for my betrayal I told them everything. I've never looked back since then. Sector 1 is my family. Alaura never was or will be my home."

"Nothing to say now boys? Did we ruin your view on your so-called family?" Tahani spoke as she pulled her dagger from the holster on her thigh.

"Its obvious they got nothing to say so please just let's end the pointless chatting and let me spill blood here, just let me end this."

"Eden sent us here to stop the next rebellion." To their surprise Yunho was the one to speak up and  Tahani only grow more annoyed when Mingyu once again forced her to put her daggers down

"He gave us eight months exactly to find out when and where you guys would strike. His goal is to kill every last member of this organization even if it means Sacrificing the Alaura tower. Even if it meant sacrificing his pride and joy in yet another explosion he didn't care as long as he saw everyone of you dead." No one else but Yunho spoke

"Why the sudden cooperation?" Mingyu asks curiously.

"Ever since we started training we've never been given a true reason to hate this organization. No matter how many questions were thrown his way about this place Eden would simply respond that everyone here was bad people. Not once were we given a true reason to be against anyone here. I remember one night I had been wandering around while I was practicing late. I heard him speaking to the others about not needing change. That everyone at the Sector would ruin this city and the way they ran things. Who are all of you really..?"

It was then that Mingyu sent Yeonjun and Tahani out of the room, telling them all to head back to their living quarters while he sat and had a little chat with the seven boys.

"Theres not enough time to teach you the entire history of we here at Sector so i will tell you this. We are the rebellion, the ones that fight for equality and justice for those in this city. To anyone outside of the Alaura tower, we..are the good guys. So here and now ill give you a choice. You can choose to join the movement or I have Hira come back knowing she'll be more than happy to watch your blood spill to the floor. What will it be."

The seven boys looked around at one another all sharing a glance before looking back at mingyu.

"We're in."

Jongho found Tahani sitting alone in silence in what was known as the green room. It was mostly used for simulations of the different weathers, temperates, and other natural settings. He found the girl sitting in the middle of the water pit watching as the holographic rain poured down around her.

"Thought i'd find you here." He spoke as he took a seat beside her and watched as she stuck out her hand only for the holographic rain to glitch at her interference.

"He let them stay Jongho. They were on a mission to have us killed and he let them stay." Jongho could sense the hurt and the anger in her voice as she spoke.

"I can't lie and say I know why he did it, but everything Mingyu does, he does for a reason. I know you're mad, I get it. I was too, but then I took the time to sit and realize they're just like us. "

"How can you dare compare them to us when the people they serve have no fucking morals."

"Hira..Tahani, listen. They've been fed lies and trained to think we were the bad guys since they were young. They've never even left the tower until the day we brought them in. They've been sheltered from the world that we know so well and made to think that it was no different than theirs. You were able to give Yeonjun, what makes them so different?"

"Yeonjun...With Yeonjun I had no choice Jongho i had no say. I was unconscious for two months two fucking months. I didn't want to forgive him but looking him in the eye the day I woke up he was simply a scared little boy that didn't know how to navigate."

"I know it's hard Tahani, I understand that because of the people that sent them here you can't have a normal life. But before you're quick to make the judgement that all will turn out like Loren, at least talk to them." At his words the door opened and Hongjoong was the first to step inside. Tahani stood from her spot in the simulator and before Jongho could even stop her her fist had already come in contact with Hongjoongs face.

"I deserve that." Was all he said as he watch Jongho pull her away.

"Look I know it wont make up for lying, for hiding our true intentions but we're sorry Hira..we were just following orders doing what we've been told was right ever since we were all thirteen years old." Seonghwa steps up to speak on all of their behalf

For the first time since finding out about her parents the girl broke down. "You're right it doesn't make up for it, the people you chose to hide behind are the reason my entire family is gone. They're the reason I can't feel the sun on my skin, the rain falling against my cheeks, the reason I can't even have a family of my own, and create a new legacy. So many missions I've been left out on or forced to watch from the shadows because the slightest drop of rain could destroy my entire system. All because I decided to put my trust in someone that all along was working for the alaurians. You want to apologize to me? Prove to me that people like you are even worthy of being here." Pushing past all of them she wiped the tears from her eyes and cursed herself for letting them see her vulnerable as she left the room.

"Give her time." Was all Jongho said as he pushed past them as well.

Hongjoong stood with his back facing the rest of them, eyes looking out at the same pit in which Tahani once sat. He watched as the imitation of rain trickled down disappearing before it even hit the ground.

"I guess there's no turning back now." Yeosang spoke out, only being met with silence.

The next morning was rough for the seven guys having to spar with Tahani; they realized that the girl was no longer going easy on them as she had once before. Despite asking for help from Jongho neither of them received any. He always said the same thing

"just give her time, let her get the frustrations out, just fight back as much as you can and take advantage of the fact that she's fighting you with full strength. Maybe you'll be even more prepared for the evaluation then."

[that-one-random-writer]

Chasing you Chapter 9 {Complete}

Summary: Jake retires from the military honorably. He steps into a new roll, ready to settle down in his hometown of Texas. He is placed on your shift. Your current relationship is stable until the dust settles, revealing cracks in the foundation.

Warning-police work it gets gory at times and horrible so be aware 18+ smut eventually.

Chapter1. Next chapter. Masterlist

The house was cold, and there was nothing left of this home. The walls had happy photos of times before your diagnosis. You looked at all the memories of Disneyland trips, vacations to beaches. You looked at the next photo, you were in a doctors room. James kissing your forehead. You watched james' smile slowly drop through treatment photos.

There it was, you held the bell, the ringing sounded, people clapping, you could hear it. You had been listed in full remission, and James' face had a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

Glass shattered across the floor. You grabbed another frame, throwing it across the room. You ran to the bedroom packing your things. You filled your car with everything you own. Each box solidified the fact that this relationship was over. You grabbed your keys, and you took off the home key off the key ring. You made sure everything was in your car. You laid the last picture down next to a note.

'I'm leaving. You're no longer the person I fell in love with.'

You owed him no other explanation, you didn't tell him where you went it didn't matter. You were free. You locked the house leaving the key under the mat. You didn't want to deal with men for a while. You didn't want to live through this back and forth push and pull of men. You wanted time to yourself with your bestfriend.

"Ken..." You trailed through the phone.

He was sitting in his living room. "Yes?"

"I dont, I don't have anywhere to go." You spoke softly. I'm not quite able to get the sentence out right.

"Did you... is he gone?" Kennedy's jaw slacked in shock.

"Yeah. I packed everything this morning." You were numb. You lost feeling everywhere.

"Get your fine, single ass over here... is exactly what Seresin is going to say when you call him."

"Ken, I'm really not in the mood. I just packed my entire house. Can I stay with you?"

"Um... can we finally talk about how hot the pool party was and have a drink? Hold on, I gotta make a call. Come over, we will sleep and then have a loser got lost party just me and you." Kennedy hung up the phone.

"Seresin, I don't have much time, man. Monroe, she's done with him. Give her some time. She's coming to my place. Just call me your certified wingman."

"Yeah, a damn good one, too." Jake laid back in his tub. The phone call ended.

"It has been a week, Marilyn." Kennedy sits beside you on the couch. He wraps his arm around you like he has every night since the breakup. He held you close. "Look, this is hard, I know, but you have to start healing. You have cried every day. I need you to get up from this couch. Honey, look at me." Kennedy placed a hand on your cheek. "You are incredible. You never deserved the way he treated you. Can you please for me try to get out of this? I'm tired of watching you slowly drown." He kissed your temple and stood up. "We're going out. You're ready for it."

"No, I'm not ready." Your voice never lifts from a whisper. The pain is excruciating. You broke up with a man you were still in love with. It is a very strange circumstance. Just because you are in love doesn't mean you're happy. You saw it, Ken saw it. The entire shift saw the relationship crumble, holding on to a single thread in a sea that is no longer filled with smiles and bonding. You were drowning. You knew it, everyone did. The hardest thing to admit is that no matter how hard you tried, you could never make the wrong person the right person for you.

"Get your ass up now. Go get a shower and get a hot outfit on we're going out whether you like it or not." Kennedy leads you to the bedroom and leaves allowing you privacy. You grab the first outfit you see and get in the shower, the water feeling so familiar to your cheeks, feeling like the many warm tears spilling over.

You get dressed and walk out to the living room.

"Hey Adam Sandler, I said, going out, not to the gym." Kennedy lifted a brow at your clothes. "Go change."

Your eyes fell the ground. "It's all packed in my car still."

"Hey, you know what..." He trailed and walked to his closet. "You are the same size as my sister." He grabbed a little black and beige dress and a pair of beige platform thigh-high boots.

"I know she wouldn't mind if you borrowed her freakem dress." You kept your face in a straight look as he held up the items. He raised his brow. "Babe... party?" He swung the items in front of you.

Your face broke. A smile is finally fresh on your face. "You know I love a party."

Ken opened your door for you. You stepped out at Ultra, the local bar.

The music vibrated through to the outside air. The music got louder as you passed the threshold. Kennedy ordered for you. He brought you a drink, and you both sat down at a booth. The lights were dim. The people around all happy faces, it was infectious. Your lips naturally fell into a smile. Ken checked his phone and laid it face down on the table.

"Okay, so you never told me what happened about the speaker in the kitchen..." Kennedy said, taking a sip.

"It was nothing. Just some flirting." Your cheeks glazed with a blush.

"Shirt thrown across the room? That's a little more than just flirting. I saw the way he was looking at you in the pool." Ken checked his phone again.

"Okay, I was drunk. we didn't kiss. He just did the thing you know. The thing..." You gave him the look.

"The leaning against the wall gets just close enough to leave you weak in the knees. Oh, I know the thing. Read it in my romance novels, which saved my closeted ass a few times in high school. Got girls talking about how hot I was, and it rumored that I was sleeping with girls without me having to sleep with girls." Kennedy sipped his drink speaking only loud enough for you to hear.

"Yup, that thing. The morning we left work I fucking daydreamed about that shit. I was a mess. I just couldnt be with James when I couldnt get this other man out of my mind and after everything that happened, I just flipped out. I started breaking picture frames, packing and just left. Its like I had been waiting for the right time to leave and it never came. I finally looked back and said why the fuck am I here." You finally opened up to Kennedy.

"Yeah and now you've got hot ass Seresin on speed dial. Call him and go to him. Be free my little bird." Kennedy smiled ecstatic that you were finally away from James.

"I don't want to rush. I don't really know him. I know how gorgeous his body is and how his eyes they just..." you paused groaning.

"Babe, 9 o clock." Kennedy smirked. He put his phone back down he had already sent where you both were sitting to Seresin, unknown to you of course.

You sipped your drink looking around the room in the direction he just mentioned. There he was walking in, Jake seresin. His hand slipped to his aviators pulling them off slipping them in his collar with ease. Your eyes locked with his, the room slowed around you. You haven't seen him since the breakup. You took time off work, you had almost forgot the power this man held. The way women looked at him swooning, men sizing him up next to their girlfriends, the room seemed to be his. "Monroe, as I live and breath."

His hand rested on the table as he leaned down. "We've missed you... I've missed you." He sat down next to you.

The room got smaller as he rested his arm over the booth behind your shoulder. You were happy to see him, as much as you wanted to take your time, his body and presence in a room were tempting.

A man you've never seen before walked behind him and sat down next to Kennedy.

"Kennedy, this is Tyler Kraft. He is one of my military buddies. His call sign was cheese. That's what all of us called him." Seresin chuckled and smirked at Kennedy.

"I told him you had a pool." His voice changing like there was more that you didn't know between those harmless words.

"We can all have a few drinks, and if you're down for a party, we can all head back to your place. I'll supply the drinks if you supply the pool."

Kennedy's eyes widened just enough for you to notice. "Y-yeah that's fine." He was caught off guard with a plan change. A plan you had no idea about.

"It's nice to meet you tyler. I'm Monroe. I work with these too." You smiled politely. A new face intrigued you.

"Cop too? I hope you two are giving hangman hell for us." He flashed a smile that held a jewel attached to his tooth.

You giggled politely. The tooth jewel gave you an idea of what was going on, something about the way Kennedy was acting told you he had no idea what was going on.

"Hangman?" You paused, looking up at Seresin. "I'm about to now... with a name like that. " You laughed, looking over at Tyler.

You directed your attention back to Seresin. "You want to go with me to get our first round hangman?"

"Yeah. Good idea." He nodded, offering his hand.

You stood up without his help walking to the bar. You were shield from the pair you left at the table by a sea of people. "Jake, who is that?" You said between gritted teeth protection of your friend boiling in your blood.

"He's a friend of mine. I figured I'd introduce him to Kennedy." Seresin smirked, pride filling his voice in more ways then one.

"Why?" It seethed through your lips.

"Because a closet is lonely. I'm not going to say anything to anyone at work. If I was going to I would have called him out at the pool party." He said quietly leaning to whisper in your ear.

"How long have you known?" Your shoulders softened feeling a little trust seep in.

"I was suspicious the whole time, but the pool party confirmed it. He doesn't know that I know... until now, I guess." He shrugged his shoulders.

Realization set in that he set them up on a date. "They can't be in public on a date... Jake you're an idiot." You quietly yelled.

"OK calm down. I already gave Tyler the run down, and that's why I suggested we go back to his house for a pool party. Have a little faith. I got this. Now what do you want to drink? I'm buying for you tonight."

"Pineapple upside-down and a shot of tequila." You didn't even worry about fighting him on the payment of a drink. You stood on the foot rest of a nearby bar stool.

"What are you doing?" Seresin asked. His brows stitched together.

You saw the way Kennedy was sitting facing Tyler. His body language was very clearly a sign of interest. "Checking on him. They look happy." You smiled looking down at Seresin.

He grabbed your waist and helped you down back to the ground. His hand lingered on the small of your back. "I told you. Now stop worrying and have fun. You deserve it." He grabbed the drinks and you grabbed the ones for tyler and Ken.

All worrying had been swept away. You mind completely cleared of James, and your friend from being outed. You looked at Seresin in a new light. He was protecting your best friend and giving him something he desperately wanted.

A/N tumblr ate my post so we're trying this again!

@emorychase

@emma8895eb

@deaddumblbumble

@wade-wilsons-chew-toy

[tinydragonsnake]

Been a hot minute since I posted here, huh? Lots of shit's happened these last, what, almost 4, 5 years. I mean, I've been holding down a pretty steady job as a dietary aide at my local nursing home. My dad's pretty much out of my life. I have two nieces. Moth's doing pretty well, and so are my cats Ollie and Farrow.

Trump fucking won again and I'm still trying to get over that mess of feelings.

Look, I'm aware that I'm not the best sort of person to sit here and say "look at the bright side! Think of the good instead of the bad!" It's not how my brain works. Already I'm going down some pretty dark thoughts. Like, how far are they gonna be able to drag the US back into the dark ages? How scared do I need to be of being hurt or killed because of who I am? Of what I believe? How screwed is my life and my family's lives gonna be now, just from a theoretical standpoint? Is my youngest sister gonna have to be afraid she'll never work as a virologist? Is my middle sister gonna need to be afraid she'll never be able to go back to school? Is my mom gonna have to be scared she'll be fired and replaced? Are we all gonna have to be afraid well no longer be able to afford healthcare, rent, groceries?

I posted this in a comment section not too long ago, but my only real solace right now is that I live in New York State. Pretty liberal state, really. I'm not gonna need to be scared of the most extreme possible outcome happening to us here. New Yorkers are bastards, and we're a purple fucking shithole, but damn if we dont at least try to take care of each other here. In Western New York, I mean. Never been to the middle of this place. I know the rural areas are bumfuck town.

I'm just venting. Getting out my thoughts and nerves. Last I saw, cause I'm just not gonna keep looking and feeling that sinking stone of despair in my gut. I have to go into work with straight up Trump lovers. I gotta put on a brave face when they start bragging about how they're so happy he's won. I gotta lie that they don't terrify me with how they think so little of others. How if, in some unholy scenario this country legit turned into fucking Gilead, they'd happily toss me to the gallows.

World's fucked, man. Gaza's gonna get leveled cause Bibi's a fuckheaded cumstain. US might legit leave NATO. Ukraine'll probably be fine without us honestly, they've been kicking ass. Russia might have sanctions removed. Extremist right wing lunatics are gonna be bolstered. People are gonna die, from lack of access to necessary healthcare to outright murders to sheer negligence.

I guess there's some minor bright stuff, though. GLITCH Productions, an awesome indie animation studio, had one of their shows added to Netflix. The Amazing Digital Circus, if you didn't know. Great show, I love it and December is gonna be fun when episode four drops. The Monster Hunter community has been affectionately memeing on the PC beta for Wilds. I think it'd be cool if Capcom released official origami for the series. And Digmon and Monster Hunter are having a collab, which is not something I ever expected, but hey, it's cool. I've personally managed to grow the shit out of my book collection, and my plushie collection, and my games library. I have a PS5 I bought with my own money. Had to run to Buffalo to get the one I wanted. I have a Steam Deck. I got to go to my very first convention back in July, and I'm planning on going again next year as a VIP. I have a pretty big savings account. I make enough money I can occasionally splurge and not feel guilty. I'm writing a series over on AO3 for Murder Drones, and so many people have been enjoying it that I'm still a bit dopey over it.

It's not over. The world, life, the planet, society as we know it. Or maybe it is. None of us are gonna know till it's too late. And by then, I just hope it'll be painless for everyone. I'm just one person. I'm just some strange bitch on the internet full of anxiety and mental illness who's all doom and gloom about shit. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm right. I can't tell. I won't be able to tell. All I can do is keep living, and breathing, and fighting against all the evils that I can. And hey? If it ends up killing me someday? I just hope I put up enough of a fight that the next person has a bit of an easier time fighting back, too.

[bmcblr-remake]

BMCBLR GENERAL FAQS

---- general FAQs

actors/auditions FAQs

music department FAQs

art team FAQs

editors FAQs (to be posted) ----

who's running the project? theres me, sawyer (@swagcoolcat) and rat (@rad-rat-with-a-tophat)! sawyer is in charge of the art team and cast, while rat is head of the music department

can i help manage the project? as of right now nope, sorry! we've already got our two directors mentioned above, but if it gets too much even for all of us we'll see

is there an age limit to join bmcblr? as long as youre 13 and over you should be good! although if youre like 10 why are you watching be more chill in the first place. if you want to play a character there are higher age limits, so be sure to check out the actors FAQs!

can i still join if it's already started? as of right now yes, but it depends on what stage we're at! if the characters have already been cast then obviously you cant audition. if we're already done with the music then you wont be able to join the music department, so on and so forth. however you can join for ensemble whenever you want! feel free to join the server and ask/message anywhere if you want to be sure

how do i reach you? feel free to shoot me an ask or dm either here or on my own blog @sea-jello! you can also message me on discord if you want youll see me when you join the server. you can also reach out to sawyer or rat if you want, we're all the same

do i have to participate to join the server? not at all! feel free to join just to hang out

what version will bmcblr be? we will be doing the 2 river version! the rights for broadway arent out and im not risking copyright any more than i already am (which does mean we dont get loser geek whatever unfortunately). that being said, some SMALL broadway changes will most likely be made to the script

EDIT: so we ended up having to buy the sheet music and we were going to do broadway but only west end was available so we will be rewriting the changes back to broadway

is it animation or live action? it will be sorta like a rough animatic with little snippets of animation scattered around!

is this legal? who knows lmao. if we do get copyrighted the most that will happen is it gets taken down. if that happens we can separately upload the songs sorta like music videos. thats allowed under fair use

when will the project be finished? i have no idea. could be a year could be longer

where can i watched the finished product? it will most likely be on youtube!

wheres the server?

WHAPOW

[this post will be edited as needed]

[yuukei-yikes]

please just rewrite kagepro i'm BEGGING i love your head cannons !!! love you jin but vinnie on top. also haruka is so AAAAAAA and it's so interesting how you talk ab his weird vibes w the dan !! it's like "whoops konoha's gone but have this silly guy instead" and said silly guy is extremely guilty about htis. sorry this is all over the place but yeah. the silly guy filter

i went a lil crazy on this reply. partly an analysis, partly str headcanons. in general about haruka and how he feels about his livelihood 💥💥💥

haruka's survival guilt misadventures💗💗💗

since he saw everything konoha saw it's like he became one-sided friends with everyone because he knew everyone konoha knew and of course cared for them just as much but none of them know him. he knows first hand how much everyone loved konoha because he saw it!!!

i think generally post str haruka&takane deal with a lot of existential crisis LMAO takane because she says it felt like the whole time she was ene could've been a dream and etcetc sorry i wont sidetrack to takane like i keep doing. erm. but her too okay... anyways haruka

He Should've Died Years Ago and didn't and like... in over the dimension he mentions how he used to believe in the prospect of heaven but then as time went on and his condition worsened and his time to go approached, he became more depressed and his thoughts became SUPER negative. he was like THERE IS NO HEAVEN EVERYONE IS JUST LYING TO MAKE U FEEL BETTER BUT AFTER DEATH THERE IS ONLY DARKNESS. and then he does die and neither of these things happen, he doesnt go to heaven and he doesnt stop existing. if we're staying on theme with the heaven thing he mentions, instead he essentially ends up going to hell. he literally gets stuck in Personified Hell watching the konoha cringe comp like. come on.

i hc everyone in the daze can sort of move freely and meet each other EXCEPT haruka precisely bc he still has a link to his body/the outside world. i think it's SO interesting that the daze is truly another dimension and swallows people as they are BUT HARUKA specifically it's his consciousness/spirit/whatever. we dont talk about this enough. the concept of spirits and shit being canon in kagepro. like HE IS THE ONLY ONE who is just a mind with no actual physical body?? so bc of the link to the outside he still has bc of it, he can't move freely inside the daze and can't do anything other than sit there and just Watch what konoha does, hibihiyo timeloop and all. so like. LITERALLY FUCKING HELL. he's alone not only for the 2 years but also for however long konoha was in hibihiyos loop. i think he can only move around in the eighth novel because he has finally lost the link to his body

and haruka speaks of how lonely his life is and by the way he speaks i think he had sort of repressed the way he felt about his illness. cuz he grew up lonely, not only already sick but seeing first hand the way his illness is killing/kills someone else, his mother. cuz before she died he had to see her suffer through it, right.. there is no mention of how she was as a person but i imagine she was either really depressed haruka ended up sick too OR... She was like his dad and talked about it a little insensibly. his father being really cold and straight to the point with "you will also die like her, give or take in 6 years" when he is TEN!!!HE WAS SO SMALL!!!! at the beginning of his novel haruka is like. yeah i have like a year left to live. but oh whatever. everyone dies I'll just hit the sack a little before ideal that's fine.

i could go on for longer abt haruka's parents and different hcs about the kind of people they are but teehee. i won't sidetrack.

haruka grows up conditioned to think that way and represses his feeling of sadness because that's what he was taught to do by his parents and it essentially became his coping mechanism. takane says it herself at one point abt how haruka has a "yeah whatever" attitude. like word for word

it's only by the next summer when that year actually goes by and he is DYING that he starts despairing and becoming super negative about it and ends up begging for his life because he doesnt wanna die.

that defense mechanism that has fallen apart since then because of his despair when dying sort of built itself back up when haruka enters the daze. once inside the daze doesn't haruka always seem so offbeat and exactly like "yeah whatever"?? because what else is he supposed to do lmao. there is nothing to hope for. there is nothing here. there is no one or nothing to smile at or for. there's just this thing piloting his body outside doing shit he'd like to do and meeting people he'd like to meet. in fact he even seems bitter

that's why str haruka is generally more serious? ofc he's still happy and all cheerful like always but in the canon content str haruka feels like. he really feels grown up, compared to others. same goes for characters like ayano&takane, mostly bc we see them again after a timeskip but still. with haruka especially i think!! thats also why i think jin chose him specifically to express this weird growing up feeling.

so. erm. now he's back and of course he's happy and excited but all these feelings HAVE a lasting impact. they dont just disappear u know. he thought he'd die, then he did. and now he's alive?? and on top of it an adult?? and has to figure out what the hell to do?? being back from the dead after is already a complicated situation by itself. and there's all these complicated feelings with all these people he loves but they dont even know him and he's very happy everyone seems to be willing to get to know him but he can sense how sad they are about konoha, because he Saw the friendship they established with it.

and haruka's like... i am the only person here who ended up bizarrely benefiting from everything that happened. because for everyone else, if for example clearing eyes wasnt evil, they kind of would've made it through. mekatrio wouldve suffered their sad backstories, them+ayano&kenjirou would've suffered ayaka's loss anyway yeah, but further than that it wouldn't have gone downhill. takane and ayano wouldnt have had to die, shintaro wouldnt have become a shut in, kano wouldve never hidden anything from his siblings, hibiya and hiyori wouldn't meet that fate in the city. and haruka would die at 17 years old, period!!!

he is so guilty for being alive when the very thing that helped him survive put everyone else through so much pain. he is so guilty for being thankful for it. ofc its NOT LIKE THAT, OF COURSE HE SHOULDNT BE GUILTY, but i think that's how haruka sort of receives this sudden survival.

not only that but... someone else died for him to be here too. haruka isn't only guilty for that bizarre gratitude but also... konoha!!!

how much does he deserve this when u put konoha in question too?? people who loved haruka, like takane and shintaro, have already mourned him. while konoha is being mourned by like 7 more people. people that again, HARUKA ALSO LOVES BUT THEY DON'T REALLY KNOW HIM!! technically thats not fair then. so maybe konoha deserves it more!?!?! of course haruka is human and konoha isn't, and it's HIS body, but it's because of konoha his body is functioning at all now. so is he robbing it of its life?? but didnt it also rob haruka the body in the first place, by tossing him out and leaving him behind?? this is all the shit i think haruka is conflicted over lmao. who deserved it more or at all... but does it even matter bc konoha IS here and its helping haruka stay alive by playing its awakening eyes role.

but also by feeling guilty over the life he's so happy to have back isn't he undervaluing everyone's willingness to get to know him and honor konoha?? undervaluing takane&shintaro's excitement to reunite with him?? undervaluing even his own happiness at having another chance at life?? well. he has to navigate through it. and he paints pictures at the same time because groceries need to be bought and bills needs to be paid, and aw man, MORE dishes?? he JUST washed those. and after that he should remember to clean the bathroom, its been a while. and do the laundry the dirty clothes pile is getting ridiculous. AND REPEAT!!!!!! because ur a grown up :3

but... he does love painting these pics... and he does love all the snacks he buys after doing groceries!!! and clean clothes are so nice especially when theyre warm from the sun!!! rent is worrying but he's got a roommate who helps him pay it!!! he's always loved his roommate too and has wanted to see her again for so long and now she's there right next to him when he wakes up everyday!!!!!!! and if it were that they can't pay rent they've got so many friends willing to help out!!!!! and he also loves all these friends!!!!! his life...... IS GOOD!!! LIFE... IS GOOD....!!!!!!!!!

he loves life he loves being alive. even if there are so many complicated feelings haruka is so happy he is alive. and wherever it is konoha is happy too. embrace the world with childlike wonder and joy, OKAY?? PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH.

[nicegaai]

having beautiful visions of a story idea ive had for years but from a different characters perspective (moloss!a), making it feel shiny new and worth obsessing over again

what if molossias perpetual anger and facade of a personality was because of a gigantic inferiority complex (and struggling to understand his place in the world etc etc) and then he was forced to interact with actual nations physically his own age but in like , a subserviant role, like alfreds mostly forgotten errand boy -- and they are friendly but completely out of touch with what it means to be a micronation / theyve forgot what the early stages of nationhood are like after hundreds to thousands of years and they are like omggg dont worry youll keep growing :) youll live a long life :) and he is like haha. yeah maybe. and in the end a small group of them become friendLY or at least familiar but theres a fundamental disconnect and the real nations dont have much to gain from knowing him , its very much like a class difference that molossia has very little chance of overcoming. he will never be their equal and he has a slim chance of surviving longer than a humans lifespan or two. but what matters is there was some understanding there. some connection.

i want to write the molossia POV fic so bad but i need to do some research first because i have a very specific setting where this takes place. um

this is just my 2015core hype house AU again

and i need to binge a few episodes of whatever the paul brothers were up to , i think there was a tv show ... i need to watch it for research. becuase i think it would be insane if a bunch of teen nations were like. we're going to make a House of Nation Influencers. for social media purposes. alfred can we borrow your socal beach house pwease. .. .. and hes like holy shit thats the coolest thing ive ever heard please take my keys. im too busy to live there but let me cameo and plug my socials and u can do whatever u want.

and molossia and maybe slowjamastan are alfreds little , localish ambassadors. theyre like. 11 and 15. yes it would make more sense w like a california oc but

i like the micronatio s better than statetalia i have strong opinions on statetalia. the first opinion being i dont think there is One Guy Per State nor do i ever like Well There Could Be Two Guys In A State. i think there's regionals and tribes, and statetalias will die off in regional mergers when the spirit isnt strong or specific enough. and etc. theres a lore system in my head thats pretty poorly thought thru but i get worked up about anyway

in any case the micronations are super localized super specific phenomenons and i love them. they have a atrokg sense of identity for no real reason and they become distinct ppl way quicker than naturally forming identities.... and i think alfred kind of hates them for existing (extreme jealousy over his territory) but he tries not to be a total deadbeat dad and gives them a little attention when he remembers to.... i think the drama potential is juicy. america doesnt want to be cruel to molossia but he wishes he was never born. his little bastard son

i love hetalia molossia its an insane thing wrong w my brain. im such a micronation freak i adore them

oh right also the influencer wannabe house is flcused on the Teen Nation Friend Group kind of chrs ... hong kong iceland liechten seychelles ......... and others like singapore phillipines ... "teenager" is a pretty broad category in aphws but my vision is it began as a friend group doing a bit thing and then got out of hand with way too many ppl joining. it also falls apart. Badly.

and i always thought the scale of trying to turn Hypehousetalia into a fanfic would be too convoluted. like it would just be my 6 hr vid essay on the rise and fall of something that didnt happen. but if it was a framing device and background setting for molossias teen angst instead of the story itself that would be hilarious ............