#and i dont even know that group but i think it’s surreal for u to make such a big deal of how u were ‘bullied’ (which we could discuss at

[jentlemahae]

-

[mariska]

hello world i am awake and have my first dose of daily medications in my system and thus have a lil bit of energy at the moment to just Type My Thoughts Out Into The Void On Here. so here is my non internet/social media life update for all of u today:

later in the day i am finally gonna be able to meet/hang out with one of my longest exclusively internet-based friends of mine after a little under 10 years of us being friends!! im so happy + excited for it but i still have some chores and last minute cleaning stuff i gotta do before he gets here, hopefully waking up a lot earlier than i usually do will give me whatever time i need to finish my part of the household preparations 😅 but yeah!!! he's a mutual friend of both me and Eli (obviously, would not otherwise just be like. hey Eli this person u dont know or hypothetically arent friends with actively is also staying at the house while ur here get used to it HFSGSHSCGSF) and we've been trying to put together some kind of non-internet hangout trip for years and it just didnt work out until this time around.

right before the first global shutdown covid wave back in early 2020 the three of us had been trying to plan a May hangout together that we called "superbirthday" (cus my birthday is may 6 and my friend Jon's, person who is coming here 2day, has a may 26 birthday, so the 20 days in between both our birthdays is 'superbirthday' celebration time 😌✌️) so im like. beyond excited that we've all actually been able to make it happen for real this time!!

i've met up irl now with quite a few of my good friends who were people i originally met online in some way but it's still so surreal in a happy way whenever that happens again. me and Jon originally became friends through the Gmod server "Gmod Towers" (which doesnt even exist anymore it has its own separate game that both me and Jon actually contributed to the fundraising campaign for the devs to develop yrs ago) in like. fall of 2014, if u never played on it back then, it was a really chill fun virtual hangout server world kinda similar to like....imvu/second life, that kinda thing, but on a much smaller scale than either of those and with most playable characters taken from like, the general Gmod Valve Game Character Model List. it was styled like a resort type hotel with different areas of the map having different activities u could do with friends or anyone else around, there was a mini games section and a big hotel lobby where a lot of people just sat in groups and talked with their mic headsets and a hotel room area that saved whatever interior decor u set up in ur room, u could watch youtube vids on a virtual tv and throw parties for the server to come join and be goofy at....Good Times.

ANYWAYS all of that to say, as awful as the general internet experience can be like all the time forever especially in more modern yrs, im really grateful that in my life i've been able to make such meaningful connections and friendships with people online, sometimes in niche lil corners of the internet with dedicated fan followings like Gmod Tower!! i say it irl all the time to ppl but the internet truly Was Not One Big Mistake despite the increasing chaos of the whole big picture concept, being someone who is disabled and had to drop out of school at 14 to quite literally keep myself alive and keep my body/brain from totally failing on me, i genuinely don't think i would have many friends if any at all if i hadn't been able to connect with people online, especially with my Agoraphobia making it very difficult to like. put myself out there in the world.

....yeah! so. thats what i am up to currently. and yes we WILL all be playing Kirby Air Ride for the Gamecube on my Pink Disney Princess TV as a Superbirthday™️ activity. for ur information.

[drgreg]

The Method Forward For Medicaid Deloitte Insights

All our love your loving uncle and aunty and cousin. Still can't believe u are gone....forever loved ......endlessly missed ..... I miss you on a daily basis and my coronary heart is eternally damaged.

To my fantastic and caring dad / grandfather , Nicole, Justin and I ..... It's been nearly a 12 months since you had passed...it feels surreal and we all still miss and think about you everyday. Not a day goes by granny, where you aren't talked about or remembered, .....

To my dad Louis Today is your birthday Just that thought convey a t ..... Even After They Are Gone “There are particular folks in our lives ..... R.I.P Mr Bruk, condolences to his household and wishing you strength at this unhappy time. Please protect Gina, Brad ..... You beloved me unconditi .....

The PPE care packages contain gowns, masks, visors, sanisters, and different very important gadgets, with sufficient gear to final between two and 4 weeks. The great grandson of Daniel Hotz needs the family peace and comfor ..... Ma, there's not a day we dont miss you All our love mo, harve, li ..... Rest in peace my frien .....

Thank you for all the time having a sort word to say to me and my colleague at our apply. Our hope for your beloved ones is peace, comfort and help from one another. Saddened to hear of your passing. I went to excessive school in matric with Gawaine. I want I had had an opportunity to fulfill him again before he handed.

Not a day goes by that I don't consider you. Hi mom, I want i used to be round to spend extra time with you. Your grandson would have loved you madly, and also Dr Greg Hough you hello ..... Your grandson would have loved you madly, and also you him. Love and miss you every second of the day. U will remain the light of my life .....

BirdLife South Africa is the nation associate of BirdLife International, the largest international conservation community. BirdLife South Africa is a registered non-profit, public benefit organization and the only devoted bird-conservation organisation in South Africa. They have helped no less than 400 healthcare employees with protective gear within the last week. A group of household medical doctors in Cape Town has united to offer important PPE to healthcare professionals outside the hospital surroundings.

We love you endlessly and nothing can ease the pain ..... My Dearest Ashlee,not a day goes by after I dont think of you and mourn the loss of such a precious soul. I know you may be along with your soulmate and have a daughter Amira Yochai, in the future I shall meet you all. 11 years at present since your passing and never a day goes by that I don’t miss and love you mom. My darling godmother Mimi...your love and wisdom will stay inside me endlessly.

Marion island on the bucket listing for sure. Fondly remembered for his affectionate and kind heart, his fast wit and the upstanding method he lived his life. My darling husband Gerald I am heartbroken however Dr Greg Hough my darling RIP ! I will all the time keep in mind you and your pretty smile You have been a Mench . Not a second goes by that I do not take into consideration you.

In the showing lessons she came 1st within the Show Pony class and 2nd within the Show Riding Pony class. The most difficult half about this trip was having to cancel our Project Coordinator, Linda Hill's ticket on the final minute, due to her mum changing into very sick within the final phases of most cancers. We had been very fortunate that one of the members of our Board, Caroline Richter, was capable of step in to help at the 11th hour. By implementing a holistic strategy we have interaction the child with all the 5 senses in the studying programme that has been setup and tailored to the kid's individual wants. This email address is being protected from spambots.

[animalinvestigator]

hello coda >:] riddle me this. i dont actually have a riddle i just came to ask as a newer petscop enjoyer if u have any fun petscop trivia? i literally just finished watching it a few days ago and i keep thinking abt it..on my mind..smoke the shit that made the pets scop

Hello! Wow welcome to the world of petscop. Sure, I'm not exactly sure what qualifies as trivia but here's a few things you might not know if you're new to things.

Something I find neat: Interestingly the majority of petscop's characters have existed for 10+ years across a variety of different projects. I mostly keep from talking about them because the guy who made these things buries at least one of them on purpose, but care& her immediate family has existed (albeit in a very different story with very different lives) since as early as 2009, while rainer and mike have existed since as early as 2012! ...we don't really know anything about the 2012 iteration of these characters other than it was mentioned but i always find it really fascinating that the majority of the characters are just one iteration of concepts that have shown up a bunch of other times. Paul, lina, and belle all appear to be new characters though! Which is neat.

Relatedly the symbols in the background of even care and that reoccur throughout the game are also old imagery from a former project, nifty (Which is for sure the reason why the nifty function in petscop is called nifty LOL)

Nifty's a fun little game, extremely old though, it's really surreal to see the pscop tiles showing up in it retroactively. This game actually played a really big part in people finding out who made petscop; its common knowledge now but was purposefully obfuscated until ~episode 22 iirc, i was amidst the group of people who were the first to find out haha, it was the same night that pokemon sword and shield released LOL Chaotic times

Oh also, the song from petscop "explore" also showed up first in nifty! i like this version a lot because it is just grating as fuck. This song is like, 15 years old.

Ummm here's paul leskowitz trying to say pieces of paper

Jeez what else. Oh petscop is made very strangely. It's something like a "digital puppet show", where inputs are recorded and then played back and layered over eachother recursively to create scenes in pretty much every case where multiple characters are on the screen interacting. These inputs are also often reused, which results in a phenomenon where movements across episodes sync up in perfect unison really often, which is thematically powerful, sometimes relevant to the literal story, and other times just really weird. Here's a neat video demonstrating a couple of these. (this is only from the first half of the series so there's a lot missing.) It's a pretty powerful demonstration of how intricate the entire thing is.

That's just a couple neat not-immediately-obvious things that don't really concern actual story or game mechanism stuff , which is kind of what i took you to mean when you said trivia. hoepfully that was what you were thinking of? maybe you learned something : )

[mithliya]

that's so weird. id think ur sister has light skin for an arab. egypt and jordan yeah people tend to have lighter skin but bahrain??? ur skin color actually looks very normal to me, like i dont think its that dark at all. in my school there was a very pale girl we all liked to tease. we told her she probz looks like a lobster if shes in the sun for 20 minutes, called her a vampire, a ghost, i once even called her a bottle of elmers glue (lmao dw she thought these names were rlly funny. we wouldnt do that if she disliked it) so its kinda surreal seeing that u got picked on for dark skin that i think is completely common and regular. maybe its a regional thing? im from the west of the gulf, and ur from the east, so perhaps dark skin is more normal and common in the west (i even think its more beautiful than lighter skin ngl. my friends agree)

my sister doesn’t have light skin lol 😭

we are both considered dark skinned in bahrain. being darker isn’t that uncommon, it’s pretty accepted for men especially. for bahraini women, i don’t meet that many with my skin colour. a lot of bahrainis have brown skin but from my experience most have lighter skin than us. we are generally not perceived as bahraini, neither is my father (he’s also dark skinned), and instead we are perceived as south asian, which im sure as u know is like.. the group khaleejis are most blatantly racist to constantly.

idk why ur area is different, idk where ur at or anything of the sort so i can’t comment on the details but my sister and i almost definitely wouldn’t be considered light skinned in any of the gulf lool. to this day she constantly gets dudes telling her they ~don’t usually like dark girls~ but find her attractive and dumb shit of the sort. but one thing u said that applies in bahrain too is that SOMETIMES if someone is extremely pale ppl may make fun of them, but it’s usually not even in a derogatory manner bc more often they get told they’re beautiful and treated w awe for having pale skin. meanwhile our darker skin gets us comments like what a misfortune and how unlucky and “if only” we had light skin we’d be sooo beautiful and so on..

also no idea why u said in egypt maybe we’d be considered dark skinned but not in bahrain,, aren’t a lot of egyptians rly dark? i reckon we’d be more or less the same bc we also have the same wide variety of skin colours

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being an Avenger from outer space

Avengers x reader

warnings:

a/n: this isn’t great but like im down for some avengers hc requests

prompt:

you weren’t exactly accepted on earth the moment you got there

but it wasn’t long before the avengers spotted you

“state your name and your business here” -tony

“wait, stark, just a moment! are you a [alien species]?” -thor

“...my name is y/n, i had nowhere else to go. and yes, i am [alien species]”

i mean, this would be much cooler if the avengers hadn’t already had a bad run-in with the chitauri army

but at least you weren’t trying to destroy any part of earth

“why don’t you come with us for a while? you might be safer in our custody” -cap

you were very uncomfortable with that, but you believed that whatever you were running from couldn’t get you if you stayed with “earth’s mightiest heroes”

and that you were...sort of

the bounty hunters that were on your trail, they didn’t know much about the avengers

so they were dumb enough to strike first

luckily, the avengers took a liking to you

“this is for messing with our new friend!” -tony as he straight up fries one of these goons

you seemed to fight well with them

it made them want to keep you around more than they wanted clint

“having fun, y/n?” -nat

“honestly, yes! i’ve never kicked ass in a group before!”

“i felt the same way on my first mission with these guys” -nat

“wait...is this a mission?”

“well, yeah? what’d you think it was, chess?” -nat

“what? what’s chess?”

oh, my god, this was like thor all over again, it was gonna be great

once the battle was over, they had a question to ask you

but before that...

“did any of you kill the leader?” -you

“which one was the leader?” -sam

“the one with...with the face” *puts clawed hand in front of face for effect*

“thanks, that was really specific” -sam

“you know, he’s got...” *puts fingers near face* “tentacles?”

“you couldn’t say that first?” -tony

“i didn’t know if they were called tentacles here”

okay, that was fair

at that moment the mf hopped out and you pushed clint out of the way so that he didn’t get shot. he said “ow” :( but u were too busy tackling a fellow alien

“you let the rest of those hunters know that they shouldn’t even think about coming after me, are we clear?”

“you’re sparing me?”

“don’t be too flattered, you’re nothing but a messenger to me” *shoots him in the arm*

okay that was a power move

as you kicked this bounty hunter back into his ship, the avengers crew reapproached

“got any plans now that you’ve taken care of your little ‘issue?’” -cap

“you know, i haven’t really thought that far ahead”

“well, if you’re up for it, the avengers would love to have you” -nat

you couldn’t have agreed faster lmaoo

the government didnt like you much

the human population actually wasn’t too fond of you either

but the avengers wouldn’t let anyone touch you

thor made it his own mission to show you all the new stuff that he had discovered on earth

“and these are pop tarts!!” -thor

im talking animals, snacks, music, and more

and dont even get me started on parties

no actually i will

“so, youre from space? list 3 species i’ve never heard of before” -random partygoer

“well, how would you know im not making them up if you’ve never heard them before?”

not much of a comeback for that

you’d only answer questions that weren’t stupid

like “how far away is your home planet?” or “did you have any friends or family?” or “what other planets have you been on?”

and you had a lot of questions too

“what is pizza and where can i get it?”

“you’ve never had pizza? oh, we have to change that” -tony

“what is it though?”

as you went on more missions, you got a better feel for how to work with teammates

especially when they had such different skillsets

“wanda, would you give me a boost?”

“with pleasure!” -wanda

“why didn’t you ask me? i could have flewn you!” -rhodey

“it just feels cooler when wanda launches me, but i’ll let you have your turn later”

“y/n, we should have coffee after this!” -thor

“WHATS THAT?!?!”

you always got excited when offered new things

*muttering* “what the fuck” -you

“OKAY, WHO THE HELL TAUGHT Y/N CURSE WORDS???” -tony

“hm. i wonder” -nat

thor brought you to asgard once

it was pretty. (pretty wild, that is)

“maybe you can take me to your planet one day!”

“i’m pretty sure i’m wanted on my home planet, but i’d love a challenge!”

okay maybe he was ur new bff

“so, y/n, how long is your species’ life span?” -bruce

“im not sure that our measurements of time are exactly translated, but i believe in your time it would be....900 years?”

“oh...may i ask how old you are now?”

“wouldn’t you like to know...”

“...n-no, thats okay”

honestly? sometimes your days were nothing but lazy, so you’d learn about human pop culture

“‘tatooine?’ odd, that’s a planet in my solar system. do you think this ‘george lucas’ is an alien?” -you, lying

*cue the entire fucking team going nuts bc they’re about to believe this conspiracy*

okay but like. you KNEW about thanos. you just never thought he’d be a problem all the way out here

so when the whole thanos situation came to earth you were just kinda like 👉👈 sorry guys, shoulda said smth earlier

“you know who thanos is?” -dr. strange

“...yes. i do. he’s big. really big. and purple. kind of looks like a raisin. oh, yeah, he’s crazy. obsessed with balance.”

“balance? what do you mean by that?” -tony

“like, he likes to kill half of each population for ‘balance,’ you know?”

anyways you went back to space

“so, anything else about thanos we should know?” -tony

“he has 2 adoptive daughters, they’re both badass, i know then personally, he’s from the planet ‘titan,’ last of his kind, aaaand he has an army”

“we have a—wait, no we don’t” -tony

“are there aliens that lay eggs in people? or is that just a stereotype?” -peter

“peter, is it? i heard that you’re taught that there are no stupid questions, but that was a very stupid question”

“...i don’t know if that was a ‘yes’ or ‘no’” -peter

tony asked if you could fly the ship. no.

eventually making your way to titan

which was surreal since it had just been so long since you’d left earth

gotg in the house

“where’s gamora?”//“who’s gamora?” “why’s gamora?”//“you know gamora?” “you know gamora?”//“do you work for thanos?”//“no, i’m here to kill thanos”//“so you’re here to kill gamora?”//“what? no! gamora doesn’t work for thanos anymore, it’s been like 4 years”//“holy shit”

and then thanos popped in and nebula too and she recognized you and it was kinda awk but were just gonna pretend it didn’t happen bc it gets worse <3

u, tony, and nebula got trapped in a ship for like 3 weeks but it was good for catching up

and u met captain marvel and honestly youve just met too many people in the past few weeks u were not vibing

“so, y/n, miss space at all?” -tony

“up until we went back to space, yeah. i’m not leaving this planet ever again”

“we need to find thanos” -bruce

“fuck”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedficrecs // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck // @randomawesomeperson102 // @spideyandtheboys // @ghost-bich //

[roguestarsailor]

my hot take on mal and why hes wonderful and why malina is the proper coupling (and im gonna shit on darkling/darklina for a bit)

*these might not be new thoughts but i want to express my love for mal and malina (and i just finished the books like a few hours ago so my brain is on fire) there was so much mal slander on the malina tags and i wanted to throw in my 2 cents!!*

- mal literally had nobody. this kid is a literal orphan! i love that he figured out what to fight for and kept his head in the game. i am a sucker for characters who needs to fight to get anywhere in life. he was gifted the tracking skill and befriending alina and thats it. characters like him have grit and a personality that makes them tough and fearless and i am always going to root for their happy endings

- this poor man has to face these super powerful beings without powers. its hella intimidating to be just regular while being surrounded by folks who can blast light, manipulate winds and waters and fabricate things from nothing. he worked with what he got and that was tracking and being physically fit to fight and i fucken applaud that!!!

- he never got in alina's way. i think whats tragic is that he internalized how much of a "low born"/"nobody" he was and saw that alina was destined for so much more and he made sure he was useful at all times. at the beginning of seige and storm, it felt like mal was hindering alina because she couldnt use her powers and that made her feel like complete shit (i wasn't team mal at that moment but what else were they suppose to do. darkling was worse tbh!!)

- he's just a kid. hes struggling! i was sad when it was confirmed that he and zoya were a thing for a bit (and has been with other girls) but thats just being a teen in a war torn society (and also hyping him up to be desirable for the audience)

- even his maturity is very much in line with him being a kid and trying to navigate being a soldier and then having to shifting his entire purpose to aligning with just alina. he was suppose to just be a soldier, and die honorably depending whos attacking who. but he rejected his training/soldier mindset and found alina because he knew she needed him! he could have died soooo many times, he lost friends but he had to roll with the punches the entire time. and again, this man got nothing going for him! just his love for alina!

- i dont think YA books appreciate the boys without power; those who aren't royalty and aren't born with wealth and poise. mal had to learn to survive at an early age and that includes learning to be likeable and social, being a skilled soldier, and tracker (but that was a gift). i love that alina also started out in a shitty position but she also learned her power and voice.

- mal lets alina be herself! I love female protagonists who are ambitious and want to stay in power but for alina, i like that she wants the ordinary things. she wants a normal life that isn't full of explosion, talk of war or politics or grand dresses. mal let her be goofy and let her be childlike-- see their banter, see their mischiefs growing up. darkling and nikolai needed her to be a summonor/weapon and a queen/leader. they demanded her to use her powers and be a face that decorated their arms; they demanded her to be this surreal being that hordes of people will follow. she has to be regal; has to be poised and laugh and smile on command; be an intimidating figure especially in this war torn country.

- mal wanted alina because she's his best friend! thats it! my favorite moment (and ended up being the sad moment) was in ruin and rising when there was a meteor shower and nikolai found alina first and them walking together arm-in-arm to go see it. mal, with a big smile on his face, was rushing to her to tell her about the shower but stopped short when he saw them together. in that paragraph, alina talked about how mal always ran to her when something that made him happy happens (ugh my sappy heart!!!)

- grishas are the marginalized group and face horrendous torture and systematic prejudges and ravka should have been a place they could feel safe. i like that darkling was fighting for them...but it falls apart when it seems he was hell bent on making sure alina fall in line. he could be that radical; thats fine but he was so obsessed with alina; he was manipulative !!

- i know we're suppose to sympathize with him because he grew up filled with hatred from his mom, grew up in a society that hates people like him and at its core, hes just a lonely boy where nobody understands him because hes soooo powerful and can live 5ever and only alina could understand him because her power measures up to him. but heres the thing, just learn to be a good person wtf??? also he had his mom???? he had someone???? also learn to make friends?? mal fucken did it and he got nobody. learn to build ships??? like nikolai who is an outcast in his own family. (im harsh to characters that live forever and refuse to budge from their original notion about the world. because u spent all that time being alive and not do a thing about that??)

- darkling just latched onto alina for her power. and he is demanding her to be his partner without understanding her and what she needs. he flirts w her, seduces her and plays her so he can be the ultimate powerful figure to lead ravka--so his goal stopped being saving grisha and demanding things from people. ugh how can anybody ship darkling and alina???

- at no point would it feel balanced if alina and darkling were a thing because alina will constantly play catch up. she will always feel like she has to be an adult and has to be this face for the people to follow. she could live with him forever and what?? learn to love him??? i guess??? doing what?? controlling ravka forever???

- anyways i love mal. i dont think hes boring. while browsing the tag for s&b and malina, it was just filled with mal slander! and this is my response to some of the hate. he's literally trying his goddamn best; he literally has no power and has to learn to defend himself the best he can. he is the type of character that has to fight for his survival, fight for his worth and fight for his love!!!! whats not to like???

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

oh my god oh my god, i’m wearing my dress on saturday!! tree we are officially living in parallel universes. also your dress sounds so pretty, go live your best cottage core life bestie! (also we totally took dumb photos at prom that is a thing that happened, it’s now canon in the tree-indi universe)

the world is tiny and there’s are a reason it spins in circles- i’m so freaking happy you got to meet your friend!! and come out to them!!

also at prom i met an acquaintance from middle school who got me into the queer side of the internet. and we weren’t friends or anything but i still cried and hugged her when i saw her. there are just some people in the world who completely change your life.

*also every time you mention coming out to more people, just know i’m rooting for you! ilysm harsha!*

awww tree, you partner sounds so sweet, i’m so happy for you babe!! the only telugu terms of affection i know come from movies lmao, but my favorite is banagru konda- like a mountain of gold! that’s so cute! <3

honestly, leave your mark bestie. also i graduated high school and i wrote my initials on the wall, so i understand the urge to be remembered lol.

*rests chin on top of your head cause your itty bitty* mWah! mWah!

i wrote half of this ask like two months ago and finally sent it today, so srry it’s been forever, but tell me what you’ve been up to! 🥰

- indi <3

grrr this is the sixth time i'm rewriting this tumblr better work now!!

YESS WE MATCH!!!!!! it was super fun, i spent a lot of time on the lake and got to talk to one of my friends for hours so i was really happy. we did take photos and we goofed off in a photo booth and all our pictures look horrible but we love them!! hugging you!!!!!!!!!!!

omg.............. youre so right. how dare you blow mind with only a few words im kissing you rn >:( !!!!!!!!!!!! it was really nice to be able to talk to them after so long and it felt so surreal bc like. we're both completely different people now and its like i know i know you but i dont really know you anymore but i still want to connect with you anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!<333

awhhh im so happy for you!!!!! imagine how strange it would be if you hadnt known them, we never would have met!! :( that is too scary to think about i love you too much and youre the bestest. truly i am mad the whole world doesnt know you but im quite content to have you allllll to myself 🥰

*awh im rooting for you too!! and also to myself. if it werent for the tiny tree hanging upside down from my ribcage and swearing at me, i would not even be here. thanks spideytree! u r a real one. i love you more*

they ARE and i love them to pieces<33 i completely forgot about bangaru konda!! im adding it to my list. no one has ever used pet names for me so the only ones i know are from movies too!! be glad i didnt start singing bangaru kodi pitta honestly. no hate to jeevi garu, but. that song fucks in ways i do not want it to fuck. also i recently remembered chiluka, like parrot so im going to use that too.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! are you excited to leave, or more nervous about the future? give me ALLL the details ilysm!! with your encouragement i will write tree all over the place! or maybe i will draw little trees everywhere? well i cannot draw. much to think about!

*reaches up on my tippy toes and still barely reaches your shoulders (youre 5'6", right?) and gives you a little kiss on your shirt* mwaH! mwaH! mwah!

dont worry, i love hearing from you no matter what<33 ilysm<3

my internship started monday! we're virtual every day minus thursdays, the first day, and the last day. its really fun, i get paid to sit around and listen, and raid the snack bar every hour!! im living. truly in my gwen stacy era. also one of the facilitators is really hot 😳 he's colombian but he grew up in greece so he's got this cute accent and he told me i had a kind gaze and thats why he's been inadvertently staring at me when he talks to the group of us. we got into an argument over time travel and free will today (plus a couple other interns) and he's super smart and we were literally yelling at each other for 15 minutes straight and the other facilitator had to come break it up bc the five of us were about to brawl lmao. its been really nice!

also im working my way through a ninjago rewatch and im taking more of a liking to cole now, where before jay and kai were my favorites. kai is still top tier but cole is very quickly climbing up. they are so gay!!!!!!!!! *froths at the mouth* IM EATING THEM

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! stay safe and have fun and give the moon a kiss before you go to bed and i will give the moon a kiss before i got to bed and it will be like we are sending kisses to each other!!<33333

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

fuck - idk how  - well to do lots of things  - and we do know tech hate t  - thats not quite on point or en garde either  - but tonights post performance post mortem - paint it black 

the good - tree climbing leaf and dirt hair  - once unconfused t can plaze guitar  - lox and bagel  - some made up on the spot music  - some magic  - lots of love  - love aint always enuff  - uh chili dogs and fries - vitas voice  - liam showing and again doing the hard but right thing/s  

the bad    chili dog hair    t gets confused sometimes ez tho we find workarounds  - its not cheating to tell him the key and a couple chords specially if u usin a capo on a song he never herd - just sayin 

the ugly    uh duz blood and pain count   im ok      shame       the people and soul less beings who cause/d the feelings of shame  ketchup hair 

we end up laffing way too much  -  thing is  - today  started fucked up and pretty much stayed on track  - u know its been uh different since the biz  - and yah there still is one  - its changing gonna change more  prob  - maybe not better just different 

we cries a lot also  

we heal then 

well when u wear ur heart on ur sleeve and ur food in ur hair  

a step back may be in order 

me i prefer to wear my food on my clothes  - it stains better - hair is ez to wash 

did i mention i lissened to crywolf angels ep like 3 or 4 x yesterday  and some el vy   - theres maybe half a dozen ppl readin who will unnastand  - if i mention sad bastards duz it help - no - well just move along then it dont matter much 

( translation  - t is being maudlin again cuz he depressed and future trips heartache and rejection  - no not a romance  - tho the looks - nevermind )

so y is ketchup hair ugly - its a condiment  - now we know that dirt is an excellent conditioner - ask any potato u happen to  - i have gazed more than a few x at the moon  -  this eve tonight   - i wuz gonna say that life had gotten 2 surreal then forgot when it even more happen  - and not the good kind of surreal either  - another luxury problem the wrong kind of surreal - did u get it a amazon  or ikea and yah - that splains it manstyle  - if u cant laff about ketchup hair - i mean wtf 

ok t  - u so fukken cryptic and in group mindfuck - can u bottom line it or readers digest condensed milk  - damn it - its contagious - ( another editor quits ) 

it started a little fucked up - was sposed to meet for acupuncture b4 java - things ran late - acu close early on weekends earlier than i thot so no - vita been going thru lots of hard uh lifestuff  - it manifests and affects  - we both been uh stressed at best - self destructive on various levels at worst w a little delusional thinking inna mix moi at least  - we feel deeply and connect and empath sometimes for an instant completely - its not always pleasant cuz we human  - despite everything going on - we go to do wat we do - play music  w transcendence aim for attained rarely for more than glimpse but sometimes - magic  - we trance in and out and different levels  and different reality layers conflict  - and too much too soon specially w a broken heart  ( no not me  - my heart is good - well yah the heart attack thing but we talkin soul heart )  and some ugly inna mix but not aimed at  and self directed  - we at our different homes safe  or mostly  - hope so - its late now unless u a musician or a barfly and last call wuz a few minutes ago even at the hardcore - there is love in my heart - a bit of dread  - hope a smidgen maybe an ember that i fan boy - oh yah  - we played  - some barely ok - some goodish - a few really good moments  - hearts not completely but then in it  - a baddish incident  - then we play a couple more songs like something proving  not a victory lap not at all sir  - prolly vita and i and i last performance in a while  - slight chance madrone tomorrow but not prolly and im exhausted but maybe  - we get together maybe 2 x this week if we lucky  - she has a last jazz concert i think sat  - imma meet her mom who tuff as nails north korean  born and raised - really  - that will b uh - interesting t  interesting  and a pleasure - maybe ask vita her name and practice - nah - she might as well meet the awkward fucktard  albeit a well behaved version  - but i will do wat i always - apologize in advance and assure by the 3rd time i will at least b very close lol   prolly not socialize much after  - it would b nice if she likes me but tbh expecting disapproval - extreme wariness at least - i would if i was her   - then off to college  - imma wait till she settle in maybe has a friend  - dont want ppls 1st impressions of her to b w a weird af and old as guitar playing friend  - at some point we b recording maybe podcast of some healing writing she been doing w music  cuz low key but an ep  - or album - theres enough good songs and we fuck around w a few more half maybe mostly written inna works  

its after 2 am exhausted not sleepy wired cuz its been that kinda day - sorry but not for the cryptic  - things happen not to b ashamed of  - we played music and performed as well  - real as fuck if nothing else  - it could b a month or more before we perform again together  - there is still a biz  - how much vita will b able to contribute uncertain   - sometimes fucked up things happen - nobodys fawlty towers no guilty party 

love

[gglitchshit]

ALL OF THE END OF THE YEAR ASKS!! uwu uwu uwu

OH NO

love u uwu

Song of the year?

Answered but gonna come up wih something else hmm……Spotify says Hurricane Years (by Alice duh) was my top 1 which is kinda true cuz I coped with it a fuckton and I even based one of my school assignments of it so…

Album of the year?

Trash 1989 easily DFJGHSDFJKGHL but yeah if talking this year’s album then Gloryhammer’s new albumm which I’m lazy to write the title of

Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

Uppermost! Got recommended him on twitter (with many other artists but he got me the most) and it was really spot on

id say Ozzy too but technically i didnt START listening to him this year, just started listening More

Movie of the year?

Us!!! But also uh idk……..I mean I’ve seen many movies this year so aside of 2019′s movies it’s definitely Prince of Darkness (god its so surreal i saw it this year….it feels like last year at least, first half of the year didnt exist for me dfgjksd)

TV show of the year?

Y’all Not to be Like That but it’s Jojo dfghfdkl (both because of you- like how much you influenced me and changed my mind about jojo and also cuz i started watching it) 

Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you?

Can’t think of any gjklhgsdjkl i dont rly watch tv shows

Favorite actor of the year?

even tho i watched 46758934 movies i dont have any……i mean i rly liked Lupita’s performance in Us but…yeah

maybe Liz Fenning?? she debuted for real in Dance Macabre music video and thats when i fell in love so h wait no that was last year fuck fuck

Game of the year?

Sayonara Wild Hearts and Pokémon Sword/Shield~

Best month for you this year?

-March cuz was finally home after hell month and bought lots of goodies and saw 🅱️rince of 🅱️arkness (first movie I saw after hell month, makes it extra special) -August as well maybe cuz Minecraft and good vibes….-June too cuz of that very good day with you and lots of animating…..maybe even October? Big halloween/horror mood…

Something that made you cry this year?

A gift I got at the beginning of the year and Wowaka’s death :(

Something you want to do again next year?

Go to pride but also go to more concerts with you

Talk about a new friend you made this year

I hardly make friends (like yknow real true close friends) also sorry if I forget anyone my memory is worse than a 100 year old’s but I always treasure my mutuals and I feel I grew closer to some of you…..ilu

How was your birthday this year?

Nothing interesting LMAO probably the least eventful/boring of this whole decade….. im old and depressed

Favorite book you read this year?

even tho im STILL not finished (reading in english is hard aaa), i love love love reading Dennis’ book about his adventures in the Alice Cooper group……..Ozzy’s book was fine as hell as well and thats about the only books ive read this year mega rip

What’s a bad habit you picked up this year?

cant remember anything fdgjkdf all my bad habits are 3-10 years old oof

Post a picture from the beginning of the year

this is from april cuz i dont take selfies lol

Post a picture from the end of the year

well….my hair got darker?? dfgsdfgdf

all my selfies are just me showing off my band shirts GHSDKL i got this shirt from a generous person from AR’s discord server, bless them forever tbh

edit: deleted the selfies cuz *diavolo vibe* no one must know my face

A memorable meal this year?

DFJKGDFHJK idk….i ate some rly good asian pasta meal at shrimpy food bar in like october or so, everytime i’ll go back there i’ll eat that cuz h

What’re you excited about for next year?

new albums lolol

also pride

uhhhhhh animal crossing release

What’s something you learned this year?

be grateful for everything i have and dont take anything for granted, with time most things get better except my memory

What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year?

got new bathroom and kitchen as well as NEW WINDOWS hell yeah complete revamp of some of the stuff in our house….

Favorite place you visited this year?

Bratislava JDFGHDFSJKLG the town itself was nice too but in general being there was great cuz happiness overflowed in me all the time…….arisu……

If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

honey you’ve got a big storm coming

Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions?

i drew a little more backgrounds than last year so maybe that,,,

Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one

GIN!!!!!! MY SPLATOON OC!!!!!! AAAAAAA one of the only best things in february hell month…..one day i made a rly cool loadout in Splatoon and i was like h what i  i make an OC out of her…..at first i felt like she wasnt gonna get far cuz i usually make ocs and then forget about them the next day but somehow she survived…..and got a big bro too! now shes in several zines and has an own toyhouse profile and i think abt her every day…shes still underdeveloped as hell but ah i love her and im rly proud of myself

[komakitigerdrop]

I feel like im always behind on news related to finder (prolly cuz i dont use any social media besides tumblr) but is there a new volume out? Or volume cover? Another extra? I want to see it all! There’s the livejournal but i can never keep up my account long enough to actually join the finder group :| I think im mostly kept in the loop by whatever u post lol so close enough i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ha! Well, I’m glad to keep you in the loop!! Or try to - I’m not in social media either so there’s that, heh. Plus the past couple of months have been so chaotic I am still trying to catch up as well.

So, here is what I have so far. Back in April 28, you know, that blessed day when we found out Yoh is back, the helicopter with Asami and Aki crashed, fei and Mikhail did the do and all that jazz, the chapter ended with the usual “TBC 2018/08/28″ plus info about a signing event, the release of Volume 9 (which is the compilation of the chapters we have seen after Asami and Akihito escape the penthouse + a couple of extras).

Turns out that the cover of Volume 9 is the extended version of an  image that had been circulating for a while:

Other than that, what else did we get?

A Halloween extra in BeBoy Gold. I could tell you more but I’m at a loss for this one. I thought it was about vampires, but from the page in BeBoy all I see is Asami giving milk to a tiny Akihito devil, and then to make things even MORE surreal apparently an Asami with a tail and the weirdest vest/shirt combination I’ve ever seen fucks who I am assuming is Akihito stuck in a tree?!? 

I don’t even know, my friend. 

BUT, to make a very long story short, no one knows if there is a new chapter or not. Looks like there isn’t but there are people out there saying there is! But where?! Who knows! I have done a bit of investigation but none of my usual sources have provided me with concrete images/spoilers.

The mystery remains!

[milkybonya]

Omg those pictures are amazing! So so so colorful ahh I can only imagine how beautiful a crowd of light sticks is!! Okay but let me just say... I can't even imagine hearing wayo live. It's so stunning recorded like I can't even imagine it. It had to have been surreal. Seriously. And darari rock version??? I don't think I've heard that one yet 😮😮😮 brb listening and then I will continue writing my letter lol

ahh okay I'm back that was so good!! I got to watch a concert video and the rappers seemed so into it 😀 that's another thing I can't imagine: rap line rapping irl oml- I would lose it like the jikjin rap is my absolute fav nrnenene haruto popping off in person???? Bye LOL I can't even imagine it. Also Jihoon and Hyunsuk on good boy??? Oh man that had to have been amazing I'm gonna have to find that on YouTube later. I'm so glad you had a fun time!!! I am sure it was an experience you will remember forever!!

But speaking of an unforgettable experience, it was so crazy to get such a sweet response like that! If you ever decide you want to get to know Kingdom better pls pls pls let me know I could talk about them for days straight I love them so much!! They are such good guys with such a great concept!! I can't speak high enough about them. They are one of a kind to me 🥰

And about the zoo!!! I have a gecko and lizards are like my favorite animals so I was in heaven in the reptile house 🤩 there was this one lizard that was acting like my guy at home crawling up on the glass and looking at me I almost cried djjdjs I have a video but I'm not sure if it would upload plus I am highkey squealing in the background jdjsjs so here are some pics l!!

Little baby I am 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I fell in love with him that day oml I just wanted to take him home 💔 but don't worry about not asking for my name!! Some people are weird about giving it out anyways fjjdje I feel silly for forgetting to do it myself after all this time 🤪 I hope you have a good day/night!! 💙

jikjin rap was truly insane,, they opened with jikjin and i was so shocked to even see them on the stage that i didnt get to record IT BWAHH

i'm always ready to learn about new groups hehe so if you have videos or some of their songs/mvs/videos that u recommend then pls tell me~~and feel free to talk to me about them too even if i dont know them!! the fancafe reply seriously made me so happy :D

oh also i found this on twitter!! it links a lot of good treasure content for when you have time hehe

https://twitter.com/YGENTHUSIAST/status/1336697022598897667?t=YBOJ7PUFp8sXWxdxpbbxwg&s=19

omg you have a gecko?!?!?!?! do you have any photos :O THATS SO CUTE AHHHH the way hes just O.O i wanna pat his head,,, such a good cute lil lizard :<

pls dont feel silly either then! neither of us are to blame!!!!

have a good day/night luv 💟

[pips-fics]

ayo as many asks as i would like?? ur asking for it just warning u

i mean i’m not surprised u know them, they’re pretty elite if ya know

yeah ik sometimes asking ppl to write can be hard, i used to never do it, but sometimes it’s fun to see how someone else would take ur idea ya know. (just a little self promo here lol i write too hehe if u don’t feel comfortable asking a stranger u can always ask me haha) and the thing for me with writing is that it has to be about smth that i like so then i’ll actually want to write it, unlike the essays that i have to do all the time ugh. i’d say just make sure what you’re writing abt is enjoyable to u, and if it ain’t then dont do it 🤷‍♀️

also don’t even abt it being decent sometimes. i literally love ur writing style. idk how to describe it but it feels like ur really there with the characters and are experiencing the same things. it’s surreal i think. idk lol i’m bad at explaining things but point is that it’s very cool hehe

LOL try me

they are!! i am still surprised simply because i am out of the loop on most groups

i do love reading what other people write if it's up my alley! but also i have a pretty narrow interest in what i read at this point :') i actually have more trouble asking when i know a person, sadly, but i'll keep that in mind! unfortunately, writing is never really enjoyable to me, even when i love the topic i'm writing about! on occasion it feels okay but that's as good as it gets.

that last paragraph really makes me happy 😭 i'm not trying to be modest when i say that i'm decent sometimes - i actually think it's a little bit prideful if i'm being honest. it seems really conceited to me but sometimes i enjoy reading my own fics. which is the whole point! that's my goal! but it still feels weird 😅and it doesn't happen with most of my fics, but when it does, i categorize them as "decent." the word that might sound bad, but to me it means "good enough" and "you reached your goal" which is huge

but that's where this kind of thing, knowing that my readers enjoy my writing this much, is huge for me. it makes all the stuff that i don't like to read still worth writing.

i will also let you in on a little secret of mine, which is that, contrary to everything i just said, there is one part of the writing process that i enjoy pretty regularly, and it's the daydreamy part. the part where i envision in my head how the characters would act in a given situation. i spend a lot of time just sitting with an idea and imagining how it would play out before i write anything, and i regularly pause to reimagine things as i go. it's just a guess, but i think that's probably a big part of what gives my fics that quality that you're talking about

[mr-michael-kyle]

A dark web cybercriminal who advertised hitmen for hire was so spooked by a request from a young Washington state woman—who wished her married lover’s wife dead—that he gave her up to the feds.

That’s according to an FBI search warrant affidavit unsealed this week, which details a surreal plot originating with a chance encounter at an event hosted by Landmark, a self-help group with roots in the 1970s, which has been labeled as a sort of “cult-lite” by some. The case centers on a philandering husband and his jealous lover, who planned on using her college money to have the man’s wife murdered.

Far from being disturbed by the revelation, when the man—identified in court filings solely as “J.M.”—found out about the plot against his wife, he “saw the behavior as an indication of her dedication and affection for him,” according to the affidavit.

The unsealed warrant—which The Daily Beast has redacted to withhold the suspect’s identify as she has not yet been formally charged—targets email addresses that the young lover used to register a Facebook account and talk with J.M., and contact financial institutions and a cashier at her community college. A source with firsthand knowledge of the case stated the investigation has been delayed as a result of COVID-19, however stated it’s still ongoing.

The alleged plot to have J.M.’s wife killed first came to the FBI’s attention on Feb. 12, 2020, when the bureau’s National Threat Operations Center obtained an anonymous tip from a ProtonMail account by way of an IP address associated with a VPN in Phoenix, Arizona. The tipster identified themselves as the administrator of a website on the dark web that provided contract killings for a price. About a week earlier, a potential customer transferred $5,000 in Bitcoin to the service to have a hit carried out within the Seattle area, the informant claimed.

“Just kill her ASAP. I don’t care how just make sure she’s dead. I’d prefer if you shoot her in the head,” the client instructed, before adding that the victim worked for a corporation in Bellevue. She added, “I don’t know if that helps you in someway. She has a 3 year old son that she picks him up at 5 P.M. so she normally will get home around 5ish. Please don’t do anything to the boy. That’s all. Thanks[.] Send me a proof when the job’s carried out.”

The tipster informed federal agents that their hitman website was actually only a Bitcoin rip-off, and that “no actual murders had been committed” on behalf of anybody.

“I feel that all targets which were paid for are in danger,” the con artist with a conscience wrote the FBI. “Customers that pay to kill somebody show that they’re serious about killing that particular person[.] I must be in contact with you and to give you the target info, payments proof, and other info to trace the customers. Customers don’t give their name or details and conceal their IP, however still could be tracked.”

The site administrator sent a photograph of the intended victim to agents, one of whom happened to recognize her as somebody she had met before, the affidavit states. The following day, the FBI met with J.M.’s wife and informed her that someone wanted her dead. It’s unclear how the FBI agent knew of J.M.’s wife previously.

When agents asked whether she knew of anybody who’d want her dead, J.M’s wife started to think about people from her past. There was a “snippy” and “aggressive” former colleague from Phoenix, with whom she’d had a “turbulent relationship” and last saw in January 2020, however she didn’t believe that particular person would ever try to hurt her.

A decade earlier, J.M.’s wife continued, her husband sued his boss over a sexual harassment claim. She informed agents she “felt that it was unlikely that J.M.’s former employer would solicit her murder,” the affidavit states, “but stated it was possible as a result of ‘life altering’ nature of the situation.” J.M. was entangled in another lawsuit in 2019, his wife added, when J.M. was sued by a company that accused him of quitting to start his own business, in violation of a non-compete clause.

Aside from that, there wasn’t much else—except for one unusual incident that occurred two days before Christmas 2019.

In an interaction captured on J.M. and his wife’s Ring doorbell camera, a young woman appeared on their doorstep and asked for J.M. by name. When J.M.’s wife stated he wasn’t home, the woman stated she was really there to see her and asked if she might come inside. The wife locked the deadbolt, and when J.M. joined the conversation remotely, the young woman walked away. J.M. informed his wife he didn’t know the woman, and his wife figured the woman must have gotten J.M.’s name from a package addressed to him that had been sitting outside.

The agents then asked J.M.’s wife about her relationship with her husband. She stated it had been “strained for the last few years,” describing the issue as a “loss of passion” which had turned their marriage from a romance into more of a friendship. The emotional distance between them started in 2018, following J.M.’s attendance at a Landmark conference. That year, J.M. asked for a divorce, an idea his wife said she rejected “for the sake of their son,” according to the affidavit. They started seeing a marriage counselor—online, because J.M. was too busy with work to do it in person. J.M.’s wife informed the agents she “had not had an extramarital affair and didn’t believe her husband had either.”

The FBI interviewed J.M. the same day. He claimed he couldn’t think of anybody who would want to kill his wife, the affidavit states.

“When describing his job, J.M. said that he has ‘great relationships with people at work,’ his clients ‘love’ him, he ‘just had a big win’ earlier in the day, and doesn’t believe he makes enemies,” the filing adds. “He said the ‘only major points of serious contention are that lawsuit against me and that thing out in Phoenix,’” referring to the old co-worker with whom his wife hadn’t gotten along.

Asked if he was having an affair, J.M. initially lied. He later admitted he met “somebody” at Landmark that “really liked” him. J.M. stated he took his first Landmark course in 2018, attended a second in 2019, and started a 3rd however dropped out at his wife’s request because it was keeping him away from home. His younger admirer was a college student, J.M. advised the agents, and stated they’d had a sexual relationship lasting “six months or so, a couple times, here and there,” the affidavit states.

“He claimed the romantic relationship ended in August 2019. J.M. stated he last saw [the young woman] in January of 2020, when she informed him she still loved him,” the document explains. J.M. stated he had helped the woman out with money a couple of times, including earlier that month, when he gave her $2,000 after she stated her parents lost their life savings in a burglary. However, she “gave him no indication of being a threat,” J.M. insisted.

On Valentine’s Day 2020, an FBI agent interviewed the college student. She stated the last time she saw J.M. was three weeks prior, when they traveled to Portland, Oregon, for an evening. J.M.’s secret girlfriend stated she was unaware at first that he was married, according to the affidavit. When she found out, J.M. told her that he “couldn’t stand his wife,” but that she had cancer and he couldn’t leave her.

But the younger woman told agents she unearthed pictures online of J.M. and his wife that appeared to contradict his story. After first denying she took steps to have J.M.’s wife murdered, the woman allegedly confessed to soliciting the hit. She then claimed she got nervous and tried to delete the transaction after submitting it, but was unable to do so.

“When asked if she [hoped] J.M. would come live with her as soon as his wife was killed, [the young woman said] ‘…yeah,’” the affidavit states.

Indeed, the younger woman told agents she tried to sabotage their marriage. Before showing up at J.M.’s home in December 2019, she created a fake Facebook account under the name “Katlyn Everson” and sent the wife messages saying J.M. was having an affair.

“I know it because I know the particular person he’s cheating on u with,” Katlyn wrote, according to the affidavit. “If u dont believe me, they’re gonna meet up today at the Kizuki Ramen restaurant in Olympia at 4:30 PM. You can prove it by yourself.”

But J.M.’s wife apparently never saw these messages.

The FBI returned to J.M. for more info in March 2020, since his initial statements didn’t add up. In his second interview, J.M. admitted that he had previously lied to agents when he denied recognizing the younger woman in the Ring footage; at the time, he didn’t want his wife to find out about his extramarital relationship.

J.M. informed investigators that he spoke to the girlfriend shortly after she visited his Bellevue residence unannounced, and asked why she did it. She told J.M. “she was there to kill [his wife] and that she brought a knife along with her as a way to accomplish the murder,” the affidavit states.

Soon after that interview, J.M.’s lover lawyered up and met with the FBI to discuss making a deal. For her part, the woman claimed she never meant to kill her lover’s wife and wasn’t armed during their encounter. She stated she only told J.M. this because she was upset.

She added that J.M. had previously “made comments about wanting to kill his wife and once asked [her] if she knew anybody” willing to do the job.

The woman told authorities that their affair, which started in the summer of 2018, “ebbed and flowed,” and that she’d dumped J.M. a number of times because she was annoyed by his refusal to leave his wife. She claimed J.M. informed her they couldn’t be together until his spouse “died or something happened,” the affidavit alleges.

Over the course of their relationship, she stated, J.M. had a litany of other excuses: the wife had cancer, he was afraid of losing custody of his child, his wife had threatened to kill herself in the past when he threatened her with divorce.

After the couple reunited in the fall of 2019, the college student made plans to end J.M.’s marriage by way of the murder-for-hire plot. She stated she’d used $2,000 that J.M. sent her through PayPal, as well as college scholarship cash to solicit the spouse’s execution.

The young woman stated she and J.M. went out to dinner following her unannounced appearance at his house in December 2019.

“J.M. asked why [she] went to his house, and [she] informed him that she went there to kill [his wife],” the affidavit states. “[She] said that she didn’t actually intend to kill [J.M.’s wife], and was not armed when she went to the house, but told J.M. this because she was upset. [The young woman] claimed that J.M. wasn’t angry but instead saw the conduct as a sign of her dedication and affection for him.”

In order to pursue the murder plot, the woman informed agents, she used an old cellphone she’d obtained from her pastor, then used it to download an application to access the dark web. According to the affidavit, the student surfed reviews of websites providing hitmen—whose services included beating, maiming, or killing victims, she stated—and requested price quotes before landing on the alleged Bitcoin scammer. She chose the Phoenix killer because their website “had an escrow system, giving her a sense of security that her funds wouldn’t be stolen,” the filing states.

The gal pal instructed the phony hitman to not hurt the wife’s child and sent them the victim’s Facebook profile image and address. She’d release the funds, she stated, as soon as she had photographic proof that the victim had been murdered.

Weeks went by, and J.M.’s wife was still alive, the young woman informed the FBI. She contacted the “hitman” through their website and asked what was happening. The scammer, who claimed they by no means really planned on carrying out the assassination, provided an excuse: The hitman they hired for the job had been arrested, so they had been searching for another person to pull it off.

Needless to say, it never happened. The search warrant was executed last April, and filed in court this week, showing that FBI agents mined two of the woman’s email accounts for further clues and proof concerning the aborted hit.

The young woman was unable to be reached. Her lawyer isn’t identified in the filing and isn’t listed in court records.

There have been myriad reports of attempted murder-for-hire plots hatched by way of the dark web in recent years, though a majority of them end up being scams. In each of the instances, men paid online goons several thousand {dollars} in Bitcoin. Around the same time J.M.’s girlfriend was looking for an assassin, CBS 48 Hours highlighted the case of a Minnesota teenager whose British gamer ex-boyfriend had ordered her murder online by way of a mysterious dark net fraudster referred to as “Yura.”

In April, The Every day Beast reported on the case of Spokane physician Ronald Ilg, who’s facing criminal charges for trying to hire dark web killers to assault a former employee and kidnap and extort his wife. Police say journalists from an unnamed news organization foiled Ilg’s plans. One month later, reporters disrupted another alleged murder-for-hire, this time in Beverly Hills. Scott Quinn Berkett, 24, is charged with attempting to orchestrate the killing of a woman he met on a Facebook anime fan page.

[survivorindia]

Creepy random asshole who appears randomly at the beginning and then disappears. - Kendall (Episode 12)

https://youtu.be/cN6UaKTHxUA Ok heres what I want everyone to know. IM THE MOST PARANOID PERSON IN THE FUCKING WORLD. AND I CAN READ PEOPLE VERY WELL. AND I THINK I HAVE GONE MENTALLY INSANE BUT AT THE SAME TIME I FEEL FUCKING AMAZING! If yall think that I am going to go home 9TH! place! NINTH FUCKING PLACE by the hands of the seasons biggest buffoons than yall dont know me very well HUH. Lexi g, kendall and I made an alliance chat today and it sat so good with me. I was like omg yas we finally have someone (Kendall and I) We finally do! ... Then I got the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach and it was just something that did not sit right. I couldnt put my finger on it. I knew robin and alexis were voting me tn, and people have been after me hard core...since...well...before merge and the fact that Im sitting here in single digits is fucking surreal. Im probably going home soon.....SO WOULDNT IT MAKE SENSE FOR SOME ONE TO FLIP!? WOULDNT IT? I MEAN. IF I WAS IN ANYONE ELSES SHOES. I would make sure as FUCK to get me out. This is not cocky but like....im still here after how many fucking attempts? Which is why I think ash and lexi g are voting me out..OR GOING AGAINST me so thats both lexis, robin and ashley But lets look at the facts of why I think theyre going against me No one talks to me all day, except for alex and kendall. Interesting. Lexi G, plays lost puppy like no one cared about her in her alliance. Interesting. Ashley is being short with me. HM. Go on call with Lexi G, feel like abosoLUTE SHIT AND I KNOW SHES LYING TO ME, Lexi mentions ashley on call but backtracks and im like..........................oh my fucking god. !!! THEN HERE COMES THE STORM: I tell kendall ashley is voting me out, they make a chat, i tell kendall to add lexi g, this is secretly a test to see if my suspicions are true AND 5 MINS AFTER THE CHAT IS MADE ASHLEY ASKS ME WHY I THINK IM VOTING HER OUT LOLOLOLOLOLOLO FUCK OFF\ [6:17:53 PM] Sarah: ashley [6:17:57 PM] Sarah: can u just be honest [6:17:58 PM] Sarah: with me [6:17:59 PM] Sarah: like [6:18:01 PM] Sarah: legit [6:18:04 PM] Sarah: idc that ur voting me [6:18:07 PM] Sarah: but like [6:18:12 PM] Ashley Hudson: I am not voting you. [6:18:13 PM] Sarah: ive been NOTHING but straight up [6:18:17 PM] Sarah: like IT WOULD MAKE SENSE [6:18:25 PM] Sarah: I would do it if I were u [6:18:31 PM] Ashley Hudson: it wouldn't make sense I THINK IVE GONE INSANE BUT LIKE I HAVE A GUT FEELING I JUSY KNOW AND I HOPE ITS RIGHT OTHERWISE ASHLEYS GONNA HATE MEEEEE Ashley: you have been like my #1 this whole time why would I throw that away me thinking: YOU LITERALLY GOT "WHO DO U FORGET IS STILL PLAYING THIS GAME" IN TOUCHY SUBJECTS OF FUCKING COURSE YOU WANT TO MAKE A BIG MOVE IDC IF I GO HOME BY ROCKS IDFC BUT LIKE WHY DO THESE BITCHES THINL IM FUCKIJG STUPID IVE BEEN SAYING THIS ALL GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 NOW FOR THE HOME LANDING: Ashley: you have been like my #1 this whole time why would I throw that away you are the one that is aligned with Kendall, and I guess want Lexi G in on that? that's cool. #CONFIRMED LEXI G AND ASHLEY FLIPPED CONFIRMED AHDHDOIFHJSDOI;FKJSDF WHY WOULD ASHLEY KNOW ABOUT THAT OTHER THAN LEXI G FUCK OFF WERE GOING TO ROCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKS! SEE U ON THE OTHERSIDE BITCHES

The detailed account of my evil plan of which I shown to the Samantha that I had purchased-

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FC9bUbYixYpVNdOA6LwrnUhXryI4Bo3tnWLVqB4RgMY/edit

You know, I think I finally get it. I think I finally understand Sarah, Jordan, and even Gavin. Allow me to elaborate. Unless you have been drunk for this entire season, it is well known fact that we were surrounded by Pathological Liars. I'm not saying that to be a judgmental asshat, I came to this conclusion via unbiased observation. Jaiden.... Dom.... Ruben.... What do all these people have in common? If you said they had a dick, yes but that's not the point I'm trying to make. At one point or another someone on my side tried to reach out to them and be all like "Hey let's work together because no one would suspect it," Jaiden/Dom/Ruben would agree and not even five minutes after they make the vow, they would go out of their way to get those three out. Whether they expose them, give them false information, or just talk shit; these guys would always take advantage of the trust they were given and go out of their way to make a messy as fuck tribal. And after everything has gone to shit what do they do? They come crawling back like their battered wives and be like "Hey let's work together". And the same shit keeps happening over and over again. Until they get voted out. I almost fell into that cycle in the case of Robin but luckily my personality, which is one of a vengeful emotionally stunted woman child, prevented it from happening after she revealed me to Gavin. But I think I'm about to fall into it again... though this time with Lexi L. Lexi L. is a fascinating individual, without Gavin around, she appears to be a more rational and calculating kind of player. Given the right tools, I think she could make some sort of impact on the game. Plus her sense of humor is amazing! I really really want to keep her around and not just because I have a death wish or because I am bored. I think she could be a useful tool for my quest for world domination.... well game domination... If I learned anything from ORGs, this one in particular, it's that the truth doesn't really matter. Everyone has already crafted their own stories in their head, one's where they are the super heroes or the super villains, maybe even the damsel in distress. Even if the truth is shown right in their face, people refuse to accept it, instead finding refuge in their earlier perceptions. I think that's why the whole edgic thing is so popular, it falls in line with this kind of thinking. The story I want to "create" is an underdog story. One where the villain is Lexi L and the reluctant hero is myself. Lexi L takes out everyone I am aligned with, everyone who is considered a threat, and then at the final 4 or maybe the final 5, I behead the dragon. I promise I am not doing this to fuel my own ego nor do I have any real delusions of grandeur. I know and accept the fact that I'm not some messiah archetype, hell I'm not even the satan archetype. I'm more like the creepy random asshole who appears randomly at the beginning and then just sort of disappears. The thing is, they don't know that. All I need to do is to make them think the opposite of that fact. Plus if I do that Sarah, Alex and Gavin won't hate me forever! Which would be great because I like all of them very much and don't think I'll be able to handle their hatred. Now that I think about it, they'll probably hate forever after reading this..... Why am I putting this down in the confessionals again? Oh right because I went this entire season without gloating about some evil plan and it's starting to feel very weird. I think I want to work with Lexi L to make this happen. I want us to craft a story in which the hero and villain fight to the death... but I'm probably going to leave that part out if I ever pitch it to her. On paper this sounds like a good idea but only if you didn't read my first couple paragraphs... I have no sure way to control her. What I am I supposed to do rely on her benevolence and friendship? That is a terrible incentive for loyalty, I mean look at right now, I am literally plotting to destroy my own alliance. And the only thing that is supposed to stop me is the power of 'friendship' or 'showmance' or whatever... Clearly this isn't working! All it's doing is making me feel mildly guilty and paranoid. Another thing that's stopping me is the past. If one goes through my previous confessionals from previous games, you'll see they all have one thing in common. Well two things if you count the idol fucking... Every time I tried to flip or make a #bigmood, bad things follow. Don't believe me? Malaysia: Tried to help Mitchell, got voted out by everyone and their mothers. Rebels versus Rogues: Tried to help out Simon, got idol out. Technotits: Tried to help out little AJ, ended up voted out unanimously... again! I may be dumb enough to fall for the same thing three times in a row but not a forth! I mean, I think. Cause I already gave Lexi L. the map we've been using to find the vote negator, places we looked included. For all I know, she already showed it to Gavin, Alex, Ashley, and Liam. I'm not as concerned with Sarah cause I already told her but I'm not sure if one vote will make much of a difference. I don't want Lexi L. to be my Jaiden or Dom or Ruben, all that will really do is hinder me. But I want to do this plan so badly! If it seems like I wasted your time with a pointless subplot, chances are I have and I am almost sorry. I swear it's like nobody can make a decision on their own! Like it takes ten billion years for anything to get done! LIKE UGGGHHHHHHHHHH Also I think we found out what the opal idol does. And it's from Hellwaii so we hate it based on instinct.  Also now Sarah actually wants to vote out Gavin and I don't know how I feel about that...  I mean I can save her probably but should I? Because I don't think it's in my best interest to cheat a group of people who have my back over a group of complete strangers who don't.  On the other hand if I just be a good little puppy and tattle on her and save everyone, would it make a difference? I'll just be following the same path I have been trying to escape...  I know I know this is almost exactly what I asked for but I need the option to go back if things get to heavy. I adore Sarah but I shouldn't drop everything just because she asks me too.... The Gavin's plan was to have 4 vote for Lexi and 3 vote for Robin. Sarah is one of the Lexi votes so if I could convince her to flip and make it a  three three three vote (Lexi, Robin, Gavin) then we can flip with other Lexi and nobody will know it was us... Oh wait now it turns out that they want her out. Again, what did she do to piss these people off? I should probably stop editing in real time and actually submit this damn thing 

Well everything has gone to hell. I'm pretty sure Sarah has gone insane, she keeps saying that Ashley and Lexi G. are trying to get her out but refuses to explain why. She said it was a gut feeling and I guess, despite how psychotic she may sound, she could be right. Ashley isn't exactly close with any of us and was pretty crestfallen that she was picked out as most forgettable in touchy subjects. So her flipping would make sense. Lexi G is... well she has been going on and on with the woe is me crap and I almost bought into it. Fuck I actually did buy into it for like the past week and a half. There is just something off about her... like even someone like me could sense it. Right after Sarah told Lexi G that she was flipping the vote to Robin, the news started to get upset in the main chat. And honestly, I don't begrudge them for it. I mean, it seems like every time something would go their way something else would go in and stop them. They swap fuck Sarah and Ashley, we send them idols, Jaiden finds an idol, the hosts blurt it out in the VL, They finally get someone to flip to their side, SARAH GOES APE SHIT INSANE. If stuff like this happened to me on a day to day basis I would probably have a similar reaction. Hell I did have a similar reaction in Malaysia, though I was more mopey and passive aggressive. Also some chick named Julia (I think it's the magical one but I'm not really sure?) might be harassing Lexi L. And the hosts are allegedly talking shit about the contestants, the newbies in particular, and that's kind of messed up. Lexi L seems to be on the verge of quitting or she is just playing it up for our pity, at this point I really don't know. Like I want to empathize with her and the other contestants but I don't honestly know whether or not I should. Like sometimes it seems like there is layer after layer beneath them and every time I think I find a genuine emotion of some kind it turns out to be a lie. Like this shit happened all the time in High School, I don't exactly want to relive it in here. I know this differs from my usual calculating yet spacey confessionals about conspiracy theories or how weak I am but this is supposed to be fun, not just for me and my allies but for everyone around us. We should be enjoying coming up with strategies and trying to fight each other. We should be talking and having fun but we aren't... everyone seems to genuinely hate each other. And any reach across the aisle is seen as some sort of threat. I liked being friends with Robin, I liked talking to Lexi L about the 100 and other things, fuck I even liked talking to Jaiden and his day to day life. I didn't want to betray them or be mean to them, even when I talked shit in confessionals I mostly did it for my own amusement. Yeah things are going well but I can't help but feel like this is undeserved. Like power came at the cost of everyone else's enjoyment. It's like the final battle with Master Hand in Super Smash Bros Brawl. You go through all these stages against the master hand, from beginning stages to the end but then... he just turns into an orb. He doesn't fight back, he doesn't do anything he just lies there waiting to be defeated. If this is all just an elaborate ploy to get us to lower our guards then seriously fuck you. I hate it when my emotions over power my brain and if you guys did it on purpose that is a new fucking low. It's not smart it's not clever it's just unnecessary cruelty and I hate you for it. But if it's the truth... then I'm sorry.

Well Sarah decided to play her Ruby Idol... I am probably fucked... Well if I go home know that I am not going to stop spamming the confessional because fuck you that's why.

Well Sarah decided to play her Ruby Idol... I am probably fucked... Well if I go home know that I am not going to stop spamming the confessional because fuck you that's why. Well, Haven't made on of these in a while. Oops. So the game is going okay, Sarah and I are working together pretty closely. Though she usually lives up to her villain title so I will forever be on guard with her. Gavin and I are still okay I guess, I think he might be getting closer to the other "side" or he just is getting closer to Alex, who knows. Pretty much our group is me, Sarah, Gavin, and Alex, from what I can see right now. We haven't talked much in that chat because we are still working with the bigger group but as number dwindle I can see us talking much more in our alliance chat. I am not too salty about Jordan leaving (A while ago, I know) but I do miss his strategic ways. We just did touchy subjects, and I didn't receive the answers that I usually get, which is cool because I am trying to play this game a bit different than I usually do. In fact, I got the "who do you forget is playing?" Majority vote. Yeah, that would be because I am doing shit behind y'all's back, duh. I think by the end of this game, my stance as a "hero" will not quite be true anymore and I am excited. Should be interesting.

Alright, so I found the negator that my whole alliance has been looking for. But tbh I ain't going to tell them because it could come in handy for my game later. I don't want the game to end up being just my alliance and have my ass end up on the bottom unable to do anything so hopefully to shake things up later I can keep that I have the negator under wraps. Maybe they will "forget" I am even a person that could have it. ;)