#and i don't really want that
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Should I download all 1500 pages of my ao3 history
#I'm so tempted#I've already downloaded my MFL#the only problem is then my history would be out of order#and I don't really want that#hmmmmm#op#ao3
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a metaphorical comic about metaphorical thoughts! i had to draw this out before i drove myself in circles asking too many questions.
#my instinct in a way is to make male ocs#and i always project the hardest onto male ocs#the one female oc i have that i've projected very hard onto is trans also lol#i know that it shouldn't mean anything but i feel like it does? but idk what that would be#i guess i feel like i could find something that fits me better#but i haven't come across it yet#and something hyperspecific like a neopronoun is kinda scary?#mostly bc i'd have to go around asking for that *specifically*#and i don't really want that#can i be a girl but a little bit to the left#my art#comic#oc: lari
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don't show him modern technology; it won't end well
bonus under the cut:
#i'm not sure if ford would really be interested in using the internet much#but i could see him wanting to look something up real quick and ending up reading something so outrageously wrong#that it pisses him off to the point that he gets into an argument about it lol#gravity falls#stan pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#digital art#my stuff#anyway i really don't like how this one turned out#but i don't feel like changing it#bc i already spent way more time on this than i actually wanted to#and i don't wanna look at it any longer
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The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
#it's bad if you want i have sex it's also bad if you DON'T want to have sex#god forbid if you're a woman in a heterosexual marriage and aren't in the mood#that's 'withholding sex' and you're clearly abusive scum who should be divorced and left without any of your shared assets.#but if you DO have sex now you're a degenerate freak plotting for the downfall of western society#i don't know what to say i'm just so tired#politics#culture#queerphobia#lgbtqia#misogyny#<it's not the exclusive source but let's be honest sooo much of this is integral to the patriarchy#patriarchy needs access to an underclass they can treat like sex objects but they also don't want them to have any human rights#so sexuality is both obligatory and stigmatized#purity culture#i'm really struggling with tagging this because most of the appropiate tags would- in a beautiful twist of irony- get me booted off tumblr
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i feel like people are skimming over the uk riots in a way that makes me want to tear my hair out. muslims in the uk are in active danger. immigrants in the uk are in active danger. refugees in the uk are in active danger. people of colour in the uk are in active danger. asian communities in the uk are in active danger. black communities in the uk are in active danger.
there are massive far right riots throughout the country right now and people like fucking elon musk and nigel farage are inciting it and still have a platform to speak. people have used three young girls deaths, people's genuine grief in southport, to try and gain traction for their own racist bullshit and it's working.
a lot of refugee charities have been forced to close leaving many people without support, homes, funding, food, etc. if you aren't able to donate please consider sending a message via the conversation over borders campaign! it will send a hopeful, welcoming letter to a refugee in the uk. there is also a guide to staying safe here.
please do your own research and donate to refugee charities, anti-islamophobia charities, mosques who are trying to rebuild after being destroyed, counter protesters, here are some i've heard positive things about but the list is extensive; southport strong together (support for the southport victims and their families), southport mosque rebuilding, riot repair fund, middlesbrough vulnerable residents, nasir mosque rebuilding, hull help for refugees, bristol welcomes migrants,
#i know there's so much going on but if you can take a second to support these groups !!#i just feel kinda sick#i wanted to add with so many people seeing this that i'm white im british and im extremely privileged to not be in active danger right now#i don't want to take away from people speaking out about this who are in a place of danger#this was really only meant to be for my followers#but i'm glad more people get to see what's happening and donate !!!
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It was affection.
#oh they got me#they got me bad#doomed yaoi and I go hand in hand are we even surprised#arcane you are the greatest thing humanity has ever created#I just really wanted to draw jayvik and I kinda went a little overboard with this#I haven't drawn something this detailed since the good omens angels illustration#so you get an idea for how bad this brainrot is#anyways#you will find me on ao3#jayvik I love you#please don't die#jayvik#jayvik fanart#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayce arcane#arcane fanart#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#arcane art#my fanart#digital art#my art
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I literally don't have an insult demeaning enough.
#person.#and no I'm not blocking you so you get to see this#and don't think I haven't noticed the... what I can only call a factive#if it isn't sue me but I haven't been wrong yet#I'm glad you never knew the depth of my shittiness because if you did you would be having an awful time#and I don't really want that#f rants
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Do you know this queer character?
Castiel is Queer and Agender or Genderfluid, and uses varying pronouns based on presentation!
#opening pandora's box with this one i've been blissfully unaware of supernatural my entire life and I don't really want to start but#the history of supernatural on this blog already is rough please have mercy#this is the most specific i'm willing to get with labels on this one#8 people submitted him dear lord#castiel#cas spn#castiel spn#spn#supernatural#tumblr polls#fandom polls#poll#queer#agender#genderfluid#varying pronouns#he/him#she/her#they/them#live action#lgbtqia#do you know this queer character
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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LOOK I JUST REALLY ENJOY THEIR FRIENDSHIP OK?? You can't tell me they wouldn't hang after their respective personal quests (spawn ending ofc)/emotional breakdowns over their own mortality
EDIT: I forgot to watermark these so now more than ever PLEASE don't repost
#baldurs gate 3#astarion#astarion ancunin#karlach#bg3#Karlach 'I could kiss his pointy little face' cliffgate#karlach cliffgate#karlach bg3#bg3 fanart#my art#I discovered CSP is a lot better than PS for animating#consistent artsyle? I don't know her#I just like their vibes#they seem like they'd be there for each other#maybe karlach just wanted someone to talk at her about absolute nonsense while she processes her own mortality bc that girl needs some help#I JUST REALLY LIKE THESE TWO
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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i need an excuse to get my shit together so here we go:
if this gets 50 notes i'll drink more water everyday
if this gets 100 notes i'll start cycling once a week and logging it
if this gets 200 notes i'll start eating more fruit
if this gets 500 notes i'll apply for a summer job
if this gets 1000 notes i'll actually make plans with my friends
if this gets 2000 notes i'll tidy my entire wardrobe
if this gets 5000 notes i'll get a better skincare routine
if this gets 10 000 notes i'll do something about my mental health
the numbers are intentionally high bc i really don't want to do any of this and yeah there is a deadline of the end of june
#getting my shit together#i really don't want to#but like#i probably should#so here we are#sigh#i dont fucking know#i hate everything#i really don't want or expect this to go anywhere#shitpost#<3
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#i thiiiink 8.#but i have one coming up in a few days and one next year#i'm also not counting ones that my parents dragged me to that i didn't really want to go to#they took me to a bunch of grateful dead or phish concerts that i don't particularly care about#and also took me to see weird al twice which was fine but like. not something i ever asked for or particularly wanted#ive seen a queen reenactment band‚ marina and the diamonds‚ car seat headrest‚ idkhow‚ MCR‚ death cab for cutie‚ hot mulligan x2#and i'm seeing PTV in a few days and MCR again next year#my friend bought the PTV tickets and i did a payment plan for MCR LOL i cannot afford these#but i promised my bf i would take him to see MCR if they toured again bc i went to the reunion tour with someone else#polls#submitted#queued#concert#concerts#music#shows#hall of fame
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Yeah, I don't know about you, Fidds, but I'd fold at this 🙏
Previous!!
Next!!
First!!
#no Stan don't use the puppy dog eyes Fidds won't be able to say no!!!#yeah I don't know where this is going but i made more lol#should i keep going i actually don't know#are you guys liking this PLEASE ANSWER ME 😭🙏#stan has hit the luck goldmine in his lifetime of the exact opposite#the last time he was this lucky he was born and even he's not too sure how lucky that actually was 🙏#Fiddleford does NOT want to rebuild that portal guys 🙏#i have a feeling that he might anyway though 🤞🙂↕️#cole's art#art#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#gravity falls comic#yeah cause i am drawing comics now#that small drawing i did as a joke has really run away from me..#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddlestan#vampire fiddleford#werewolf stan pines#werewolf stan#gravity falls halloween au#i love you guys that followed me for this 🙏#why is stan spilling his guts about pushing his brother into an interdemensional portal to the first shmuck that walks by??#well..... idk he sees Fidds and hears that he knows Ford and he sees him as Ford's friend and he thinks oh man he deserves to know#mullet stan
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post itself
false flags
trans/adjacent tags
accessibility features
tumblr live post (thanks for the link, @problemnyatic)
flashing / strobing / lights
unblockable flashing ad
buying ad free
staff @/macmanx guilt trip
list of staff + more issues
#post nuked bc proshippers started insulting people who rbed this and implied partyjockers attempted to Kill staff? it was getting old so#archive links still under the cut if you want and you can rb this from others if you want the og#hint: if you dislike this post or want to debunk parts of it the way to go about it isn't to call people who've rbed it 'disgusting little#fuck ups' that are 'spreading anti shipper lies'#note: this post is and was Not about ship discourse jesus fucking christ proshippers get a grip#also ace discoursers are here too? this isn't about you either?#edit 2: if you send me an anon regarding this post about how im policing discussion or 'don't really want it'#but then stop replying when i answer your ask#maybe that's. not helping discussion?#i nuked this post as people started making up false accusations to smear people staff sniped. aka accusing someone of IRL ATTEMPTED MURDERS.
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Ace Week is upon us again, which means it's time for me to share some more silly little critters with you all! (If you like, you can also say hello to their friends from 2021, 2022 and 2023.) ✨Go and be as amazing as always, aces✨
#ace week#ace week 2024#asexual week#aspec week#asexual#ace#art#my art#ace pride#aspec#asexuality#axolotl#axolotl art#ferret#ferret art#asexual spectrum#aspec friendly#asexual awareness week#pride#pride art#queer#queer art#lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#digital illustration#critters are no longer a twice a year thing for me since i started doing requests but i love commemorating this week#and i've been wanting to do an axolotl and ferret for ages; they are such silly little guys#critter series#id in alt text#blanket permission as always for you to use these as PFPs! so long as you credit me then i really don't mind if you use them :)
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