#and i don't care enough about who people love to feel the same sympathy she had for the naive main character

[naturalblue22]

so basically after months of both thinking about it and avoiding thinking about it i have come to the conclusion that i'm scared because i knew her for a long time and then i thought i knew her but i idolised her best aspects and now i would know her again if we were closer but i feel guilty because i miss misunderstanding her and worry that she isn't someone i like anymore and that i'm not someone she really likes either and is being nice, for old times sake

[jasmineoolongtea]

hii!! i recently just started following you and i don’t wanna overload you with anything so i stress that i urge you to take your time and if you feel like you need to tweak anything then you can since i noticed you barely opened requests :)) i was just wondering if you could write something ( whether it be headcanons or a fic ) about gojo having a jujutsu sorcerer for a girlfriend / partner and his students don’t know so they’re all shocked when they just see this badass person next to gojo and he just casually introduces them as his partner lol. just a thought!! make sure to take care of yourself 💕

a/n: thank you smmmm for the kind words <333 yes omg i love this idea and honestly, i imagine gojo pretending to be chill on the outside but on the inside he's fangirling the same way his students are over his partner cause he's just so whipped and down bad for them jdjsndnsbd

"Shhhh! Quiet down, you two or you're gonna get us all caught." Nobara hisses through her teeth at Megumi and Yuji, trying her best to be quiet. It was quite a comical sight actually, the three students were all stacked on top of each other as they all attempted to crane their necks into the doorway as discretely as they possibly could.

"I still don't understand why we can't just ask like normal people." Megumi sighs, clearly exasperated at his friend's antics.

"You're such a buzzkill, Fushiguro." Nobara scolds him over her shoulder. It was like he didn't even understand the gravity of this situation.

This wasn't a situation where they could just waltz in and chat it up like regular unless they were intent on embarrassing themselves. This was a once-in-a-lifetime chance to meet the current rising star of the jujutsu world: the newly minted special-grade sorcerer L/N Y/N who was famed for being highly elusive, never being in one place for too long to be tied down to somewhere.

Rumours and stories were constantly swirling about you ranging from the more serious ones about your incredible feats of jujutsu and how you managed to exorcise a grade 1 curse for one of your very first missions without breaking a single sweat to more silly ones like that you only wash your face with the purest spring water that was imported from the Swiss Alps and that allegedly you and Gojo Satoru were seeing each other. She thought the last one was particularly dumb as she was sure that a person of your calibre would have better taste than to date their man-child of a teacher, even if he was the strongest. Whatever it was, Nobara was not going to let those two ruin her chances of possibly being able to talk with you face to face.

Above her, Yuji groans out in pain as he feels an elbow jam into his stomach.

"Hey! That hurts!" Yuji complains loudly, his grip tightening around the wooden door frame.

"Can't you be in pain more quietly?" Nobara asks and with that, the two of them were sent into a bickering spat as they traded harsh whispers and snappy comments. However, this would prove to be their end as Megumi eventually loses his balance from all of the commotion above him and tumbles onto the floor with the other two following suit as they land in what can only be described as a failed human pretzel.

Unfortunately, their crash was not as quiet as Nobara was hoping for as one of the office's inhabitants stood up from his seat, seemingly made aware of their presence. "Oh? It seems like we have some eavesdroppers in our midst."

You hum to yourself, your back still facing the doorway as you turn to your white-haired companion. "Is that true?"

"Yes, I think I might know who they are as well. If only they would be so brave enough to reveal themselves." Gojo sighs dramatically, even bringing a hand to his chest as if to feign sympathy. You can't help but giggle softly at his behaviour.

The three of them take that as their cue to stand up, dusting themselves off as they slowly make their way into the office in a single file line. When Nobara sees you, she can't even let herself fully fangirl because the amount of embarrassment she has at getting caught trying to eavesdrop is far outweighing it right now.

Gojo makes his way towards his students as they stand lined up, his hands rubbing together and a devious grin on his face as he puts on his best menacing voice. "Now now now, what do we have here?"

"Satoru, take it easy on them. I'm sure they meant no harm by it." You place a hand on his shoulder as you stroll up to his side. His arms immediately fall to his side as he melts under your touch.

An adorable pout graces his features, his bottom lip jutted out in an attempt to put on his best puppy dog look as he whines at you, "Awww, but you're ruining my funnn. I don't get that many opportunities to do this."

"Sensei, they know you by your first name?" Yuji questions, his head tilted slightly to the side as he tries to figure out what relationship you two could possibly have.

A sly snicker is heard from Gojo as he quirks his eyebrows towards you. "They know me in a lot more ways than just that" he quips back, his tone bordering on being an outright innuendo.

You roll your eyes affectionately at him, clearly used to his playful nature by this point, and give him a light shove on the shoulder to which he pretends to exaggeratedly nurse in pain.

"Sorry for not introducing myself properly, my name is L/N Y/N and I'm a special-grade sorcerer here on a visit to Tokyo Jujustu High." You smile warmly at your boyfriend's students, your hands clasped in front of you as you greet them.

Nobara could feel her breath hitch in her throat as a million thoughts ran through her mind. Oh my god, you, her idol, were actually right in front of her and were acknowledging her. She swears she could die happy right this instance but that would mean that she wouldn't get to take full advantage of the chance to talk to you fully. With that, she snaps out of her star-struck daze and politely inquires, "If you don't mind me asking L/N-san, what are you here for?"

"Oh, they're here to visit yours truly, me!" Gojo chimes in, a megawatt grin on his face with a sense of pride radiating off of him as he motions to himself.

A tsk sound escapes Nobara, clearly distrustful of her teacher's statement. "Yeah right, they have way more important things to be doing than that."

"But it's true though! My lovely partner is here to pay a surprise visit to me!"

"There's no way that that's true. You and them?" As if to punctuate her point, she points at you and Gojo standing side by side and firmly shakes her head. "Nuh uh. They wouldn't date the likes of you."

A soft smack is heard as Gojo theatrically clutches his chest, stumbling back from where he stands to drape himself over you. "It wounds me to hear you say that Kugisaki." He claims, his expression twisted into one of faux pain. When he turns to face you, his demeanour suddenly switches as he leans in towards your ear, a roughish smile on his face with a faintly seductive lilt to his voice. "Maybe we should kiss to prove that it's true."

"Don't be crude, Satoru, they're your students and they're right in front of us." You try to brush him off of you in an attempt to spare his students from becoming witnesses to their teacher's love for PDA but he doesn't let go of his grip, instead choosing to nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck as if trying to coax you to stay with him in his embrace. Like always, you relent to his touch with your fingers carding through his snowy locks, a soft sigh of approval leaving his lips.

There's a beat of silence as Nobara and Yuji try to process what they've just learned and the fact that they've just seen a visual confirmation of it before that peace is shattered and they erupt into a thousand questions. You field all of their burning questions ranging from ones about you to about your relationship with Gojo with grace, amused and endeared by their excitement and insatiable curiosity. Secretly, it warms your heart deeply that Gojo and his students are so comfortable with each other and that he can be himself around them without the pressure of the greater Jujutsu world on his back.

You turn to look at the clock and sigh at how fast time has gone by. "Alright, I'll see you at home Satoru and Megumi." You comment, packing up your belongings as you get ready to leave to attend to some business. Gojo leans down to your height as you place a lingering kiss against his cheek and wave him and his students goodbye.

Unblinking, Yuji and Nobara turn to each other and then to Megumi before they exclaim simultaneously. "You all live together!?"

Oh boy, Megumi knows he's going to be in for an earful with that.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

what are your thoughts on the ministrife situation? imo literally the worst fate for eridan to be damned to tbh

i think he will eventually (after <5 minutes) just shoot cronus and leave. (CW for mentions of abuse and cronus's romantic grossness and stuff under the cut).

Ignoring the extremely creepy and gross fact that Hussie doesn't seem to have a problem with the age gap (it's There, we've acknowledged that it's creepy and weird, i personally think it highlights how immature the dancestors are despite their physical age, and it actually serves to hint at how trash they are, but it's still really uncomfortable in the moment and never gets properly called out. In any case we've talked about it critically, we can move on and talk about characterization now), he and cronus are actually kind of polar opposites. Given that Cronus, along with many of the dancestors, are riffing on what the fandom interpretation of their Alternian counterparts are, it's kind of a fascinating look at all the things Eridan ISN'T.

The fandom (especially at the time) had flattened Eridan down to "overdramatic Nice Guy hipster who won't stop hitting on people," with varying degrees of sympathy. In other words, they took all of Eridan's outward presentation - the narration calling his genuine anxiety and distress "overblown emotional theatrics," the fact that his being rejected was a running gag - entirely at face value, while also missing what sort of archetype he was actually supposed to represent.

At no point does Eridan ever actually mention a hipster interest, like vintage clothes or indie media. It's all entirely in his design and Karkat calling him a hipster (it's not even in his character introduction), so presumably, it IS a part of his character (Karkat knows him really well), but it's probably a part he keeps to himself, like his love of wizards.

Moreover, he isn't really a Nice Guy. The closest he gets is thinking Nepeta owes him a chance for saving her life, but as far as we can tell, he only ever asked her once, got rejected, accepted that rejection, and has never taken out that rejection on her. When he complains about it, he frames it as a bitter "I guess what I did wasn't enough," not "she's an unreasonable witch withholding romance from me even though I'm so nice to her." All other romance attempts are crimes of... just being way too forward.

He bursts into Kanaya's DMs demanding she auspicetisize with Vriska because... that's what she likes to do, right? The same happens to Terezi in [S] Karkat: Wake Up. He comes on strong in Rose's DMs and after getting a little annoyance back, goes "wow, we kinda have something," and does not realize her blowing up his computer is a rejection because she didn't explicitly tell him no and he's a dumbass. And even though he's nasty at Sollux because emotionally, he's still bitter about Sollux "stealing" Feferi from him, at least CONSCIOUSLY he's recognized the rejection on both fronts and has repeatedly told Feferi that he has no more interest in getting back together with her, in spite of her recognizing that he's emotionally not over her. And speaking of Feferi, his confession to her is entirely genuine and respectful toward her feelings. At no point does he indicate that he feels like she owes him a date.

These aren't Nice Guy actions, they're "I have 0 social skills or self-awareness" actions. And also a little bit "due to my trauma and anxiety and desensitization to murder, I struggle to care about other people" actions. He's not even actually casteist or genocidal - I spent an entire essay arguing that.

But regardless, that's what the fandom ran with, in large part because they didn't bother reading between the lines. Ironically, like Eridan, they just believed what he told them. I don't even necessarily blame the fandom - at least part of this obfuscation was intentional, and a clever trick on the part of the writing. By highlighting Eridan at his worst, and having the narration be complicit in his self-delusion and mockery, the story is able to put the audience in the same mindset as his in-universe bullies - Eridan is dumb weirdo whose emotional problems are worthy of ridicule, not sympathy. Let's all point and laugh!

This sets up his meltdown to be more of a twist - even though his literal introduction is him killing something and talking about genocide, the very real danger he poses is forgotten both by the audience and the other characters because they've gotten so used to dismissing his feelings that they ignore his cries for help and the warning signals he gives off. And it makes his character more relevant and meaningful, because this happens in real life all the time - I'm sure we either all either knew, or were, the friendless weirdo at school who, upon reflection, definitely had either some bad shit going on at home or severe and untreated mental illness (or both).

The reason I'm bringing up this fandom misinterpretation is because, like a couple other dancestors, Cronus is very much a riff on the fanon version of his Alternian counterpart. Unlike Eridan, who's not actually casteist, but desperately trying to act the part, Cronus IS a casteist sea dweller who thinks he's better than lowbloods and land dwellers. Unlike Eridan, who seeks emotional connections with others, and accepts rejections, Cronus is only looking for some action, and keeps trying even well after he knows he's been rejected. Unlike Eridan, who's so consumed by anxiety and trauma that he's pretty much unable to function properly, Cronus DOES exaggerate his problems and explicitly leverage them for attention and sympathy. And unlike Eridan, who feels crushed under the weight of duty and responsibility, and tends to blame himself when things go wrong, Cronus refuses to take responsibility for anything, immediately blaming anybody BUT himself.

They're practically exact opposites, and this is, again, a clever trick on the part of the writing. It's an excellent usage of a foil: though superficially similar, the differences between these two really serves to highlight just how much Eridan is NOT the things that Cronus IS.

And it's especially interesting given that Eridan spent his entire life trying to emulate Dualscar, to the point of modeling his outfit after the guy. To him, it was not only his duty, but his inevitable fate, to wind up as Dualscar's successor. And when he finally meets the guy in person, his opinion is "even I think you're trash."

If that isn't a form of rejecting the values his society has told him repeatedly that he has to uphold, maybe in the service of perhaps setting up some sort of redemption arc or something, I don't know what is.

I've seen people point to this moment as kind of a hee haw funny one-off joke, look at how little Hussie cares about Eridan, but that's not what it is to me. You don't really need to say anything more about their relationship to each other. Eridan thinks Cronus (and by extension, everything Cronus stands for - and everything Eridan has tried to be) is garbage, but is lonely and friendless and desperate enough that he feels pushed into accepting it anyway. It's extremely consistent with his characterization and character arc.

So uh, yeah. Join me next time for more deep dives on how this funny innocuous thing in Homestuck actually Means Something.

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Yanno something I don't think is explored nearly enough? Ambrosius's relationship with the Director, and I'm referring to both versions here because they're both interesting in both similar and different ways

For the movie version (I will talk about the comic version on this post too, don't you worry) first of all my pal @walrus150915 wrote an incredible fic exploring this for the NBB please go read it right fucking now, but moving on from that, Ambrosius arguably saw the Director as his mom, or at least a stand-in for his mom.

She was (or seemed to be) a nurturing but authoritative adult who guided him in the role he was supposed to fill. A lot of people like to write her as an overtly nasty bitch in pre-canon fics, and while I completely get that, let's not forget that Ballister, at the beginning of the movie, found it potentially believable that he was her favorite student. He was dumbfounded and devastated to see she had been the one to frame him, he couldn't believe it and never suspected her for a second. I'll talk more about Ballister's relationship with her in another post, but the point is this is an Oscar-winning actress, people!

Ambrosius had every reason to look up to her and believe she cared about him. And she went from (in his perspective) treating him with patience, kindness, sympathy and respect, to trying to MURDER HIM.

You don't just get over a parental figure doing something like that to you (then oh yeah, promptly fucking d y i n g). The pain, the loss of realizing someone you loved and trusted was never who you thought they were (after he'd been battling those same feelings about Ballister) and never really cared about you as a person, it would be devastatingly traumatic. Like poor guy what the fuck. He had to cope with that WHILST trying to repair his broken relationship Jesus Christ

And that's not even getting INTO the comic version, which I will be getting into now. There's a big difference between the two and I think that's in no small part due to the timeframe. C! Ambro has been under the Director's thumb a full 15 years longer than his counterpart. This gave her time to exert more control over him, and also gave him time to grow more aware of her behavior. M!Ambro and the Director have the relationship of a person and their (non-sexual) groomer, while C!Ambro's relationship with her is more overtly that of a person and their abuser.*

She's regularly seen threatening him, threatening to have his loved one (Ballister) killed if he doesn't obey her thereby forcing him to do things against his will (like murder a child), insulting him, and showing him absolutely zero sympathy or kindness, even when he's seriously harmed. I think Ambrosius would, by this point, know that the Director isn't a good person and that she doesn't love him, but she's had much more time to sink her claws into him.

He's not going to leave her. This life, being the Champion, working for her, it's all he knows, and it's all he has. Where is he going to go, back to Ballister? Ballister hates him (because the Director took measures to isolate Ambrosius from him) and he's worked for the Institution his whole life. He knows the Director is bad, but he still trusts her. This is the devil he knows, at least, so by the time the story takes place he at least feels confident that they have a mutual understanding.

I imagine it took time to get to this point. He saw her as a mentor and spent most of his life desperate for her approval. After the joust, I can only imagine this got worse. She was all he had, and he'd do anything to prove himself worthy of the championship title he knows deep down that he stole. He probably saw her as a real friend for a long time, no matter how obvious she made it that the feeling wasn't mutual, and that he'd have to try ever harder to earn her praise.

What I'm saying is this man spent fifteen years under the boot of his abuser, then after fifteen years of grooming and psychological abuse she threw him in the trash, stripped him of his title and everything he'd worked for, tried to have his lover executed, then fucking died. And NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT??? HELLOO?????

*this is not to say that M! Ambro's relationship with the Director was not abusive, it was, or that C! Ambro wasn't groomed, he was. Simply that for him, the grooming had more time to develop into overt, recognizable abuse.

[geekynotfreaky]

ok so as I have learned, the merlin fandom is still alive HI MERLIN FANDOM

a few people have shown interest in my freya thoughts so I'm going to try to coherently ramble about season 2 episode 9.

I genuinely stayed up all night last night thinking about this. the freya arc is SUCH a Moment™️ for merlin. correct me if I'm wrong, but losing freya is one of the first big bad losses that happens to merlin in the show. like, yes he went through his mother AND gaius almost dying in season 1, but key word almost, that was reversed. they were okay. him losing his childhood friend in season 1 is the closest thing I can think of, but that was a very different scenario.

I think the reason merlin falls for freya is important too because like. merlin has such a big heart, and with freya he sees a part of himself almost. she is scared of herself, she is lost and she doesn't know what to do. merlin, not knowing that she genuinely is cursed, thinks maybe she has a secret gift like him that she's been made to hide. to merlin, no one else in his life understands how difficult it is for him to have to constantly hide such a big part of himself--not even gaius, who's in on the secret. but freya...freya could understand, freya was just like him. (but she wasn't). and because of this, he felt he could actually be himself around her without hiding anything.

it's literally the same angle he came at wanting to help morgana with. but with freya he just has so much sympathy for her and he wants to be the person who helps her through all of her problems (though let's ignore the fact he was pretty much ready to leave camelot for her sake, like hi merlin hello arthur still needs you).

and SPEAKING OF ARTHUR PENDRAGON. I had completely forgotten about the last scene in this episode. I'm not capable of being coherent about it. arthur noticed. he noticed. that merlin was upset. despite not knowing anything about merlin's relationship with freya. like he had no hints as to why merlin would be upset. he just knew. he just observed. because he. he pays enough attention. to merlin. to know when he's upset. and I hfkgdfj. and arthur makes him feel better. like imagine arthur entering that room and thinking I am going to find out what's wrong with merlin and make it better. because he cares. becuas dehrjskd I CAN'T BE COHERENT BUT. they have such an emotional bond that makes me go insane. they would literally die for each other like they love each other so much idc if it's platonically their bond means so much I. RAHGjkdf.

since I'm only just now rewatching the show for the first time, I don't remember every beat and plot thing that happens, but I do remember that there are a lot of "that got dark" moments character-wise and you get so attached. merlin is so silly and goofy and lovable and then bad things happen and you're so attached to silly goofy merlin that you feel the weight of what he's facing. like back in the episode where gwen's father died and morgana decided she wanted uther dead. and merlin was torn between saving uther or listening to what the dragon said and letting him die. like really think about that for a moment. merlin is probably 20ish years old and he was put in such a severe moral dilemma where not only was the life of a man in his hands, but the future of the kingdom as well. which is pretty much the story of his life.

ANYWAY I WROTE AN ANGSTY FANFIC DRABBLE ABOUT FREYA AND I'LL POST IT MAYBE IF PEOPLE WANT TO SEE. (I have to revise it HEAVILY first because it was 8am and I hadn't slept).

[psychicbarbarianinfluencer]

How would you rank every main villain in the movies from favourite to least favourite?

So all of these guys

And before anyone says anything Yes Gristle and Crimp do count as they served as antagonists with a fair share of screen time for the majority of a movie each so they deffo count as main villains.

My ranking would go

Chef. because I loved how sadistic and bitter she acted and how manipulative she could be it made her a very fun villain plus in terms of what was implied her past list of crimes are nightmare fuel ( like the cook book she wrote about trolls )

Barb. even tho I complained about her before I do love her personality wise I just find her forgiveness very forced and unearned in the story.

Gristle. he's a lovable idiot for sure but his heart is in the right place and I feel the first movie did a good job of keeping him in a position where he was technically a villain for most of the movie But there was enough decent sides to him shown that his redemption at the end didn't feel forced or unearned in my opinion unlike barbs, plus him and Bridget are cute af.

Velvet and veneer. I lumped these two together since I see them as a packaged deal lol neither of them would be much if they were a solo villain but together they make a very fun duo.

Crimp. I don't really care for her to be honest personality wise I find her to be self pitying but not really the sort of character I can actually feel any pity for since she's just a villainous henchmen Who goes along with her bosses evil plan and then expects sympathy when they are slightly mean to her like girl you didn't extend the same sympathy to Floyd And he didn't actually have a choice in being around Velvet and veneer unlike you, to be honest her forgiveness at the end is another case where I think its forced and unearned as she deserved punishment. And honestly I don't see why the movie thinks she should be seen as sympathetic? when it seems like she went along with floyd's kidnapping and torture just because she didn't wanna have to find a new job which honestly makes her a pretty crappy person.

Creek. I actually don't hate his character but I don't love him either and I do find him to be the most poorly written out of all of the main villains as he basically feels like he bounces back and fourth between being two different characters As he has the motivations and set up of a sympathetic reluctant villain who would normally feel remorse and undergo a redemption by the end of the film but he has the personality of a sadistic henchmen whose only motivation is that he enjoys hurting people So it just feels like the writing was all over the place for him to be honest.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

yeah, catra isn't the same as shadow weaver. she's worse.

“catra sacrificed herself with no fanfare, no ulterior motives”

i find that hard to believe. minutes before rescuing glimmer, she says this:

now, if this was coming from a relatively good person who has just made some mistakes, i would feel sorry for her. but “no one cares about me 🥺” coming from a literal war criminal and an abuser? it reads to me as a plea for sympathy, an ulterior motive. and it's clear by the way she quickly goes back to screaming and degrading adora as soon as she was saved from horde prime.

“she apologized. something she never did to anyone in the entire series prior to this.”

are we praising the bare minimum now? yeah, she should be apologizing. and her apology should have been a lot more sincere than just a hollow “i'm sorry for everything”. granted she didn't have enough time to go into depth at the time, you would expect her to apologize properly once she's rescued, right? she doesn't.

shadow weaver didn't apologize and her intentions for sacrificing herself were not great. however, shadow weaver didn't participate in the war (not directly and not to the extent that catra did, at least). she never attempted murder. she never tried to end the world and kill everyone in it. she never caused the death of a person.

shadow weaver was an abuser but she wasn't a war criminal. she never went to the extent that catra did.

and as much as i don't condone abuse, i consider shadow weaver to be a morally grey character. she's horrible because she abuses and manipulates children but she was also willing to help out the heroes when they needed it, regardless of what her motivations were.

it is kind of the truth that monsters create even worse monsters. the cycle of abuse often times tend to worsen throughout generations, although not always. this should have been acknowledged in spop, but it wasn't.

“abused children who lash out in their hurt do deserve to be forgiven if they change.”

two things. one, “lash out” is putting it lightly. you're acting like the worst catra did was yell at someone. save this term for characters like glimmer. secondly, i agree. keyword here being “if they change”. which catra doesn't. she doesn't change.

i completely empathize with people who relate to catra and i'm not stopping you from feeling happy about her redemption. abuse victims do deserve love and sympathy, they deserve a chance to change and grow.

but you have to realize that catra's redemption arc isn't healthy. realistically speaking, this is not good for her. her victims just forgiving her and letting everything slide will only provoke more toxicity from her.

in order to fix a mistake, you need to be held accountable. you need to remind yourself to do better everyday. and in catra's case, she doesn't hold herself accountable (as proven obvious by the way she still blames adora for leaving, and also never brings up certain things that she did like *cough* killing angella *cough*) and no one else holds her accountable either. this is a recipe for disaster. this is not how redemption arcs should work, in fiction or in real life.

not to mention, adora was also a victim of abuse. does she not deserve a happy ending? why is it that catra's trauma is the only one taken seriously? why is catra the only abuse victim who deserves to live a happy life, at the cost of her victim's happiness and well-being?

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 38 ~ Hard Times

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 3

✧ Word Count : 5k

In this chapter ~ After Andrea left the mere second she could, the rest were forced to think over what she had told them. It all led to worry breaking out among the group, affecting Rose the most as she thought of the different scenarios of what could happen to the people she loved. However, Daryl was right by her side to calm her nerves and assure her of the things she feared the most. Not only that, but she also received a long and overdue apology from a certain someone.

About an hour had passed after the heated conversation, before Andrea finally made her big decision to head back to Woodbury. I wasn't exactly surprised in the slightest however, and it's safe to say everyone was feeling the same way as we watched her gather her things. She squirmed a little uncomfortably under all of our gazes, but I thought it was well deserved, watching her visibly turn her back on all of us.

Though Rick insisted for her to take one of our cars to drive back there instead of walking the whole way, which I thought was a little too generous, but I managed to keep my mouth shut. Though I quickly offered to get one of our cars and drive it up myself so she could take it, only really doing it so I could bring back the shittiest one we had. Rick was an idiot if he actually thought I was about to bring back one of the nice ones just for her to take it away and ruin it.

I pulled up far enough so they could open the gate for me as I drove in, veering it off toward the side and putting it in park. Andrea was right by the door as I slightly stepped out, staying in place as I told her how to work this one.

"Okay, this one's a little testy so go easy on the breaks and...oh, you see those wires?" I asked as I gestured to the loose ones under the steering wheel, seeing her nod in return, "Don't touch them." I concluded with a bitter smile before fully exiting the car.

Walking back over to the others, I stood next to Rick who only gave me a pointed look as he noticed what I had done, though I only shrugged in response.

Andrea then glanced around to every single face as we waited to send her off, nodding to herself as there was a little sympathy in her eyes. "Well...take care." she muttered before fully getting into the vehicle, closing the door to take off.

My eyes followed the car, watching Merle pull open the gate for her before I raised my hand up to flip her off as one final goodbye. But Rick quietly scoffed as he reached to push my arm back down, sending me another disapproving look.

"Oh, come on." I muttered, "Take care? Really?" I asked in slight disbelief.

He shook his head, "I know."

Everyone silently watched the car drive further and further away as a new feeling washed over us all. It was uncomfortable and tense and I could tell some were losing hope. After the things that Andrea informed, her begging us to just cooperate so we wouldn't lose this battle, it affected us in some way. Almost like another harsh reality check just like the monsters that were still left in the field.

Once the car completely disappeared from view, I quietly offered to take watch for a little while so Maggie and Carl could rest and have a break. I also found I just wanted a little time to myself, to sit outside and feel the sun on my skin, allowing myself to think over the things we were just told.

Night had eventually fallen but I was still outside watching everything around me even after hours of being out there alone, keeping my eyes peeled for any type of threat. Well, besides the obvious ones that were still snarling on the fields. It was quiet though as I sat by myself, though I didn't mind because of how many more things I was still thinking about over and over again like some kind of broken record.

Andrea showing up mixed in with the conversation I had with Merle left me feeling empty. I wanted to believe that we would win this, that we would get through it, but I honestly wasn't so sure anymore. With my eyes focused on all the walkers in the field, it was just a reminder of what The Governor was capable of. It scared me so badly thinking about the possibility of losing my family, but it was all I could seem to think about. I would rather sacrifice myself a thousand different times before accepting the loss of anyone else. We had already witnessed too much death, experienced so much grief, we didn't need any more of it.

My mind seemed to continue to stay on this loop for what felt like forever as I spaced off. That is until I heard quiet footsteps coming up from behind me and I turned over my shoulder to see Daryl, with a small smile on his face as he made his way over. Though I couldn't find the strength to smile back.

He plopped down next to me with a sigh, "You been out here a while." he stated the obvious.

I only shrugged, "...Just thinking."

"Thinkin? About?" he asked while nudging me.

I sighed as I turned to look out at the fields once more, "Everything."

He nodded and stayed quiet, as we let the calmness of the night do all of the talking we needed to fill the silence. I slowly moved to rest my head on his shoulder while the gun laid lazily in my lap, my eyes watching the walkers move back and forth like clockwork against the gates as they growled. He rested his head on top of mine and delicately moved to place a hand on my thigh, rubbing his thumb lightly over the fabric of my jeans.

I let my mind wander back to The Governor once again and let my anxiety take over as I started to fidget with my hands a little. I couldn't stop. It was like a constant spiral of thoughts were just spinning around my mind, taunting me almost. Seeing how far they could push me before I would just completely break down. But Daryl noticed almost immediately and gently placed his hand on top of mine to get me to stop the moment he realized.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

I slowly lifted my head to look him in the eye, taking in a soft breath, "I'm scared." I admitted, letting the words come out only above a whisper as if I was dreading to admit the defeat out loud.

He his face drastically dropped, bringing me into his arms as he hugged me and pulling me closer to his chest. I squeezed him tightly, as if I were to let him go, he would slip away from me again. The thought of him leaving scared me, but the thought of losing him for good terrified me.

He slowly let go of me and place his pointer finger under my chin so I would look at him, "M' gonna protect ya no matter what." he assured me.

I shook my head, "That's what I'm afraid of."

His expression morphed into confusion, "What do ya mean?"

"I know you would protect me; you would take a bullet for me. But that's what scares me. I don't want to lose you again."

"I ain't gonna die on ya-"

"You don't know that." I was quick to defend, "Daryl, it was hell when I lost you the first time, and that was when I knew you were alive. I don't even know what I would do with myself if you..." I trailed off suddenly.

He shook his head, "Don't think like that."

"I'm just trying to be realistic. After Merle and I talked-"

He huffed out a breath that made me stop in my tracks, "I fuckin knew that's what this was bout, Rosie he's just tryin to get in yer head. It's the only thing he's good at."

"No, he's not." I quickly said, "Believe me I thought that too at first, but he was right...and that scares me too."

He sighed heavily as he tried to think of the right words to say to me. His eyes held so much emotion and all I wanted right now was to get a peek inside his mind and get even a glimpse at what he was thinking. Know exactly the things he wanted to say and piece it together myself.

"I dunno what's gonna happen." he finally spoke, "I can't sit here and tell ya that everthin is gonna be alright cause I don't know that. But I do know that all of us together are strong as hell. We've all been fightin left and right since the beginnin and always had each other's backs, that's somethin that won't change. I think we can beat this as long as we have everyone else, and that's all that matters."

I was taken aback for a second at his words, feeling myself smile a little, almost in pride. "When did you get so wise?" I asked teasingly as I nudged him.

He rolled his eyes, "When my girl started to freak out about all of us dyin. We protect each other. We survived this didn't we?" he asked, gesturing to the field of walkers.

My eyes followed to where he pointed, silently nodding my head in agreement, "Yeah... and you're right. We just have to fight like hell."

"Yeah...and m' more than ready to do it." he stated.

I tilted my head as I looked back over to him, "Why's that?"

His gaze then ducked down a little to try and hide the redness in his cheeks, but I still saw. I always did. "Cause I finally got something to fight for." he said quietly.

A growing smile spread across my face as I stared at him lovingly, "Me too." I whispered.

He looked back up at me and smiled, gently cupping his hand on the side of my face to pull me in for a sweet kiss. I now found I couldn't stop thinking about what he said to me, and how safe I felt in his arms. How he was able to calm me when all I could seem to do was worry. Flipping it completely like a light switch. I was so deeply in love with this man.

He then broke away after a moment or two, pecking my lips once more before fully pulling back, "Alright, come on, let's get ya inside. You need some sleep."

I didn't argue with that, mostly because I could slowly feel the drowsiness sneaking up on me and I knew I had stayed out there for far too long. Though I silently knew in the back of my mind that if he hadn't come out here to drag me back in, I probably wouldn't have for the rest of the night.

As we walked back into the prison, Beth's soft and gentle voice filled the air as she sung, echoing around the cement walls as we made our way through. We walked into the cellblock to see it being lit up by a few candles with the group sitting around just enjoying Beth's harmony along with each other's company. I found myself trailing in slowly, leaning up against a wall next to Hershel and Rick, Daryl following right by my side as we all stood in silence for a moment.

"Andrea's in a jam." Rick suddenly whispered over to the three of us quietly, bouncing Judith lightly in his arms.

"We all are. Andrea's persuasive, this fella's armed to the teeth. Bent on destruction." Hershel said bluntly.

Daryl tilted his head a bit toward him, "So, what do you wanna do?"

"We match it," Rick said, "I'm going on a run."

I looked towards him, noticing how tired he looked, "I can head out tomorrow." I offered instead.

He shook his head, "No, you stay here. You and Daryl keep an eye on Merle for me." he spoke before looking directly at Daryl, "I'm glad you're back, really...but if he causes a problem, it's on you."

He nodded his head in understanding, "I got him."

"I'm gonna take Michonne with me, and Carl. I think he's ready. I'm counting on you two to hold down the fort for me." he nodded to Daryl and I.

"You got it." I assured him with a small nod.

The conversation ended there, all of us just tuning back in to listen to Beth while we embraced each other's company. I truly wanted to cherish each moment I had like this, not knowing when it would be the last. Even after Daryl's reassurance, there was obviously still a little worry I had in the back of my mind, though I had hope we would all make it through just like everything else.

But I also grew to think about if and when we moved past this, what would be the next obstacle? What would be the next thing that threatened to tear us apart? I didn't want to waste it, any time I had left with the people I loved and kept the closest to me, I would hold it near my heart forever. Never wanting to take any of it for granted.

My eyes then scanned around the room at everyone and paused briefly on Glenn who was surprisingly already looking at me. We hadn't spoken a word to each other all day besides the little argument we had earlier. He had no idea how badly I just wanted this to be over, to be able to apologize to each other and actually stand to be within the same room without tearing each other apart. But I knew I should at least wait until tomorrow.

Right now, I was enjoying this peaceful moment with my family. A moment that I really needed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~THIRD PERSON POV*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next morning everyone woke up early and Rick kept his word as he packed up and headed out on a run with Michonne and Carl. Though the real reason he wanted to bring the woman along with them was because he simply didn't trust her to be at the prison with everyone else. He would've much rather her come with the two of them so he could keep an eye on her, see how well she would do with scavenging, how well she could watch their backs. How well she could potentially fit in with the rest given some time.

But with that, they gathered their things and all hopped in a car and took off down the gravel road, hoping to find the weapons and ammo they so desperately needed. With how low they were running recently, they would need everything they could get in order to make it through this sudden reality.

Silence fell over the prison as everyone kept to themselves for most of the day it seemed like. All of them just did their own thing, but still helping out in some way. Someone would watch Judith, two or three people at a time would keep watch, and some others would help with making food or doing a weapon check.

Daryl was currently keeping watch in the silence, and that alone gave him some time to think. He found he was slightly stressed even though he would never admit it out loud. Rick leaving him and Rose in charge of the whole group made him feel uneasy for some reason, especially when they had to watch their backs twenty-four-seven now. He never really liked the idea of leading a group and was always somewhat glad Rick stepped up to fill that position because he knew he could never do it himself. It was truly too much responsibility, and worry filled him at the thought of something happening while he was out.

But he quickly reminded himself that it was just for the day, and that he had Rose looking out for everyone too. He wasn't in this alone; he never was. It was something he was still getting used to.

His mind then began to wander to the conversation him and Rose shared last night, mindlessly glancing over to the spot they sat. It hurt him to see how worried she was about everything, even though she had a very good reason to be. Worrying about everyone else around her as well as him.

Though he didn't think she quite understood just how much he cared about her. Yes, she knew, but did she actually understand? It was like ever since he laid eyes on her, he felt the sudden urge to protect her. No matter what it was. He would protect her from the whole goddamn world if it were possible, wanting to shield her from anything that could hurt her.

Though these feelings of overprotectiveness confused him in the beginning of it all, not wanting to get attached, he found he still did with just a snap of her finger. But he wouldn't want it any other way.

The man truly meant it when he thought she brought out the best in him, because it was nothing but the truth. It was like he became this whole entirely new person when he was around her. He was soft and kind instead of cold and distant like he used to be. But he soon realized he wanted to be a better person for her. It now all made sense on why he was feeling these different things for her, even in the beginning. He was so in love with her, but his heart knew it before his head could even comprehend it.

Though now that he was thinking about it, his face scrunched up a little as he wondered what she was doing right now. He had gotten up earlier than she did and slipped out of their cell quietly so she could sleep a little longer, and he's been outside ever since.

"Hey Daryl!" he heard a voice suddenly call.

He turned around to see Maggie standing there with one hand blocking the sun from her eyes, "I can take over if you want to relax a bit?" she suggested.

He nodded his head, "Thanks." he said before switching places with her, turning to head back into the prison and out of the baking sun.

When he made it over to pull open the heavy door, making his way into the common room, he stopped dead in his tracks with furrowed brows as he almost didn't believe what he was seeing. Merle was sitting down at one of the tables with Rose placed right across from him, playing cards together peacefully. He stood back for a moment in complete silence, watching them with a small smile on his face and his arms crossed over his chest as he was almost curious to see the interaction.

Rose sighed in defeat as she glanced up, "Alright what do you got?" she asked the man.

Merle gestured out to her, "Please, lady's first."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, laying down her cards that clearly weren't a very good pair. Daryl couldn't really tell what they were from where he was standing, but just by seeing the look on Merle's face, she had clearly lost terribly.

Merle started to chuckle, placing his cards down flat on the table right after her, "Ace of spades little lady." he bragged.

"How?" Rose questioned, with shock clear in her voice.

He shrugged, "Years of practice. Give up yet?" he asked while gathering the entire deck in his hands.

"No...I'll win one game, I can feel it." she said oh so confidently with a smug smile.

Merle chuckled at the girl before taking a brief moment to really look at her. There was no denying that there was something about her that drew him in. Though not in any romantic way, he couldn't really pinpoint what it was. She radiated a very good energy that he desperately needed, and he couldn't help but wonder if that was part of the reason Daryl was with her.

She made him somehow feel warmer inside even though he hardly knew her at all. It was a little concerning to him considering Merle didn't really care much for anyone, but as he spent more time with her, the man grew to care the smallest bit for Rose. But he would rather die than say it out loud of course.

He then snapped out of his thoughts and started to shuffle the cards expertly on the table, "Alright suit yourself. But just know this will end with me winning the twelfth game in a row." he spoke cockily.

"Well, it's a good thing we aren't betting on anything then, isn't it?" she questioned with a tilt of her head.

He chuckled quietly to himself as he started to pass out the cards. "Careful, he cheats like there's no tomorrow." Daryl's voice suddenly spoke from the entrance.

Their heads turned towards the right as they looked at him and Rose instantly smiled, "Hey, where have you been?"

"Been out on watch for a few hours," he muttered as he moved across the space to take a seat next to her, "What're ya playin?"

"Playin rummy, and your girl here hasn't won a single game." Merle stated.

Rose placed a hand over her chest in mock offense, "Wow, you know in my defense it's been a while since I've played, okay? No need to get cocky."

The brothers chuckled quietly, while Daryl then spotted some soup Rose had been eating right beside her, reaching his arm around to take a spoonful into his mouth. Rose never took her eyes off of the cards she was dealt, but she wordlessly pushed the bowl closer to him so he could have as much as he wanted. Daryl mumbled a quiet "thank you."before taking another huge bite into his mouth, while Merle looked at them with a scrunched up face.

"Y'all make me sick." he said.

"Shut up." Daryl muttered as Rose peered over her cards to send him a glare.

He chuckled to himself before perking up a bit to watch the two closely. He didn't know if he liked the idea of his baby brother being in a relationship let alone watching it unfold in front of him. He thought relationships were a waste of time and always ended badly, at least they always did for him. But what Merle really couldn't wrap his head around, was how Daryl was able to get her in the first place.

He knew how awkward his brother was around women, so when he saw their interaction as they tearfully parted ways just days prior, he was truly shocked. Daryl was never good with women and had never really been in a serious relationship before, so Merle thought that they wouldn't last long at all.

But as he watched Daryl help her put her cards in place, seeing her laugh quietly about whatever he was whispering in her ear, a thought crossed his mind that maybe they would be okay.

"Put that one down." he muttered to her as he ate another bite.

She glanced at the card before raisin an eyebrow toward him, "Isn't this kind of cheating?" she asked.

"Nah." he shrugged, watching her place down the card anyway.

After a few more long rounds, Rose was finally successful as she had won a game all by herself and feeling quite proud about it too. The Dixon brothers were amused at how happy she was, clapping her hands excitedly with a wide smile on her face. And although Daryl would never admit it, he liked seeing his brother and his girl get along. He didn't want them to get too close however because he knew deep down that his brother wasn't the best person, but he still wanted them to get somewhat comfortable around one another considering the man was still his family.

Rose then got up from her seat after the last game came to an end, "Alright, I'm going to stretch my legs, do you know who's on watch?" she asked Daryl.

"Maggie took over for me, but I dunno if she's still out there." he informed.

She just nodded and headed out for some fresh air, practically skipping out of the prison to talk to Maggie about her fantastic win against Merle.

Daryl watched her walk all the way outside, before turning back to his brother and raised an eyebrow at him in suspicion, "Ya let her win." he said.

Merle only shrugged, "Don't know what you're talkin about."

His eyes narrowed for a moment as he saw right through his lie, but said nothing as he nodded in response, before dealing the cards again to play a round with him. Though he couldn't stop the knowing smirk from forming on his face as he thought about how his brother was becoming a little soft for the girl he loved so deeply.

Rose made her way outside and went up to where Maggie usually was when she kept watch but she scrunched up her face slightly when she wasn't there. Her eyes then panned around before her face fell slightly at the person she saw standing on the other side instead. It was Glenn, and by the looks of it he hadn't seen her walk out yet.

She didn't want to be in this constant fight with him anymore, but at the same time didn't know if he would be willing to talk to her, and she didn't want to get him all riled up again. She then just decided to look out at all of the walkers surrounding the fence, avoiding looking in his direction as she got some sunlight on her skin. This all felt so stupid, fighting constantly about pretty much nothing when the both of them knew they should be cherishing these moments instead.

Ever since the first few incidents with The Governor, the reality check being thrown in their faces, they shouldn't take anything for granted. Not anymore.

"Hey." his voice suddenly spoke from next to her, nearly restarting her heart.

She jumped slightly at his sudden presence as she didn't even hear him walk up to her, "Jesus...Christ." she enunciated as she held her chest, feeling her heart pound beneath her palm.

He laughed lightly, "I-...sorry." he spoke a bit sheepishly.

"It's okay." she reassured.

The two seemed to stand in awkward silence for a few long and lingering moments, before Glenn tried to keep the conversation going, "So...what are you doing out here?"

"Oh, I just...needed some fresh air. I felt like I was inside for too long..." she trailed off.

There was another silence and it was clear neither one of them knew what to say. Glenn for one wanted to apologize for being such a dick to her recently, he wanted to explain that it wasn't her, and it was just because he was angry about everything that had been happening around them. One thing on top of another. He truly missed her a lot, catching himself a number times the past couple of days trying to look for her to tell her something. But then remembering that they weren't really speaking.

Rose on the other hand, just wanted to talk to him like normal again, whether he apologized or not. She understood in the back of her mind why he had been acting this way, and it wasn't his fault. He had every right to be angry about the situation and what The Governor did to both him and Maggie. She just wanted her best friend back.

The two of them then both inhaled suddenly as if they were going to speak at the same time, laughing quietly to themselves as they seemed to be thinking the same thing.

Rose gestured to him, "You first."

His eyes softened as he glanced towards her, "Rose I...I just want to say I'm sorry. I've been such an asshole to you recently and you haven't even done anything wrong. I'm just- just so angry at like... everything. And I just want this to be over- The Governor I mean, and the things I've said to you recently...I didn't mean any of it. I'm just sorry. You think you could...forgive me?"

She didn't say anything as he finished speaking, only bringing him in for a tight hug almost instantly. He was shocked at first at the quickness of her actions, but then wrapped his arms around her with a growing smile on his face. A wave of relief washed over him, knowing she wasn't upset anymore and wanted to be done fighting just as much as he did.

"I'm sorry too." she spoke gently as she pulled away, "I'm pretty sure I've said some fucked up things to you too and you didn't deserve that. I just miss you."

"I miss you too." he expressed, "God, you have no idea how hard it was to not talk to you, I have so much to tell you." he said.

She laughed lightly at his excitement, "Well, tell me everything."

He smiled brightly, "Okay, okay, so there has been one good thing that's been happening in the midst of all this bullshit..." he stated before pausing for some dramatic effect, "...I'm going to ask Maggie to marry me."

Her eyes widened and a huge grin was plastered on her face, "Oh my God!" she pushed his shoulder lightly, "Oh, that's so great, I'm so happy for you!"

"Do you think she'll say yes?" he asked sheepishly.

She scoffed, "Are you kidding me, you guys are so in love it makes me want to vomit. And that's coming from me." she gestured.

He laughed at her words before reaching down and fishing through in his pocket for a moment or two, pulling out the ring he had seconds later to show her. She gazed down to look at it and her smile got even wider if that were possible, watching it glisten in the sunlight.

"Wow this is so crazy. You're proposing." Rose almost squealed.

"I know." Glenn squealed back and took her hands in his as they jumped up and down a few times from their excitement, laughing loudly together as they did so.

They then spent the next few hours together on watch, talking constantly the entire time. There was never a dull moment as they sat out there together, not once. Both of them felt utterly relieved to have each other again, especially when they didn't really know what the future looked like for them. The two hoped that everything would work out, but nothing is guaranteed these days. All they knew right now however, is that they had each other again.

~ Thanks for reading!

[annawayne]

I know this is going to be a sudden question for you, but here's what it is-

I'm guessing you're a passionate fan and supporter of annie leonhart, and yes, there are attack on titan fans out there who either don't like annie, hate her or feel no sympathy towards her because of what she did before she encased herself in crystal, you don't get upset with them, do you? Or do you rightfully respect their opinion on what they say or think of her and just move on from it?

Hello!

Personally, I don't really think too much about these people because for me, it's obviously the same like quoting an incomplete line, and forget the second part of the citation where it changes the sense and meaning completely - these people, when accusing Annie in every sin, definitely just look at it without context, just pulling the plain fact of it, ignoring the whole background (that especially interesting when for others characters, somehow, it works).

It's absolutely fine not to like character and a simple "I just don't like *a character name*" is way better and more mature then trying hard to explain the reasons, that are already incomplete at the core because we can't look at Annie's (or anyone's, to be honest) story without the context, the background and the consequences. So, personally, I don't really care about these people, who claim to have "arguments" why they don't like her character. I don't think that speculating and twisting facts, ignoring the huge part of her past that also forced her to do what she did - is about an "opinion". Better say just a simple "I don't like her", and, of course, I respect this because it's already enough of a valid reason not to like character. The bare minimum of mutual respect.

But when people start just spitting the venom and sometimes ridiculous "arguments" (once again, incomplete and twisted), it looks like we all watched/read different stories and it's nothing about the "opinion", but some plain bias and, at some cases, the desire to look better, because sometimes such people even claim that loving Annie's character is equal for being a "killer supporter" or anything...

I also answered another ask some time ago, where I wrote my thoughts why Annie's character is hated, so maybe, it'll be a great addition to this answer, heh.

Anyway, I just don't really care, to be honest, and simply continue on creating and loving my girl 🖤

And thank you for asking, and wish you a happy new year, anon!

[jewish-vents]

My Anti-Social Personality Disorder is helping me cope with the spike in antisemitism - I've been told I'm not a person, I don't have a soul, people like me shouldn't be allowed to have kids, I should be euthanized, everything someone with ASPD does is secretly evil or manipulative and every person who sucks secretly has ASPD, etc. - but it's not helping me with the one thing I need it to. I need to protect my great-grandmother, my only living relative, the one who raised me after my parents died, who fought tooth and nail to get me out of the foster care system. I need to shield her from all this bad news and make sure she doesn't realize how violent and dire things are. She always protected me. I have to do the same for her. I have to keep her happy for however long she has left on this Earth.

I love her more than anyone or anything in the world. I would take a bullet for her if I had to, but antisemitism is more like a sea of landmines that keep detonating all around us. I try to get out in front of everything. I buy her silky summer scarves because she loves them and they cover up her Magen David. Instead of going to the summer music festival here, which I know attracts a lot of country good ol' boy white supremacists on top of the left wing antisemites, I bought us tickets to a classical violinist she's a huge fan of. She asked about my girlfriend breaking up with me and instead of telling her about how antisemitic my ex is I blurted out a truth I've been hiding for years, which is that I'm asexual but not aromantic and that's made dating hard sometimes. I've sought out, downloaded and burned DVDs of all kinds of her favorite movies from the black and white era so she'll be distracted away from her time spent normally watching the news by that. In spite of my dyslexia, I've recommitted myself to learning Hebrew because she helps me and that pulls her attention off of the news and the realities I don't want her to face.

And yet it's not enough. More and more of the news of antisemitism rising around the world filters through to her. I'm doing everything I can but it's not enough. I am not enough. I am insufficient. ASPD comes with being acutely aware of your own high intelligence but what no one ever tells you is, to quote an anime I watched recently, "You can't recover from something you can't escape." There's too much for me to shield her from all of it.

I'm used to being treated as if my personhood is conditional and can be revoked at any moment. That's my whole life. That was not her whole life. She's a survivor of the Shoah. Her whole life has been spent seeing progress made in antisemitic attitudes in many countries after witnessing the worst it could get. My brain is uniquely (mal)adapted to process and disregard people's cruelty as normal. Hers is not. She expects people to have humanity. They don't. And I can't protect her from that. I can't save her. I can't keep this from creeping into her spectrum of awareness.

Sometimes I wonder why Hashem even bothered giving me heightened intelligence if I can't manage to use it correctly to help her. What is it good for? What is it worth?

Sometimes I think this must be a skill issue. If I just tried harder, surely, with my IQ, I could keep her safe and oblivious to everything. I need to be doing more. But what?

Sometimes I just look at goyim and - and I am aware this is not something you're supposed to admit to/is bad, I just don't care - I think, "I hope someday someone treats you exactly like you've treated others. I hope you get back exactly what you've put out into the world, and you get as little sympathy and help in that moment as my great-grandmother is getting right now."

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. If you haven't already, I strongly recommend that you reach out to your local Jewish community. If you don't have one, or you for any reason don't feel comfortable with the local community, seek out community online.

There is only so long that you can shield your great-grandmother from the world. I understand the urge; we all have it, but no one has the power to keep their loved ones from ever being hurt.

What you can do is support her through the pain, and find other people who will help support her.

This will not be the first time your great-grandmother has experienced antisemitism. She may be better equipped to handle it than you fear.-🐞

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Unexpectedly Yours: Part 8

Fandom: Ted Lasso (Regency AU)

Pairing: Roy Kent x F!Reader

Summary: Lord Roy Kent still has yet to marry. He hates the notion that marriage is a way to ensure your status in society. You have delayed your debut to society for years because of the same idea. So what happens when two people who hate the idea of marriage are constantly drawn to each other?

A/N: ive been waiting to use this gif...

Series Masterlist

Roy looked around seeing that everyone had stopped dancing, watching as you storm your way out of the ballroom. Eyes were glancing between your retreating and Roy's stunned look. He groans to himself and mumbles, "Fucking hell," promptly stomping his way out of the ballroom to follow you.

"Hey!" he calls out to you but you're ignoring him, "Stop!" he hollers again, following you to the gardens of the estate.

"Fuck," he grunts, picking up the pace and catching up to you, "Will you slow down for a moment?"

You whip around and push him back, "I've had enough of you!" you're seething, "Ever since you arrived, my world had revolved around you but not by choice! I'm tired of people telling me what to do. I'm tired of having this pressure to be with someone who doesn't want me! I'm tired of all of this!"

"Do you love Goodman?" Roy calmly asks.

"What?" you look at him confused.

"Because if you don't, then you shouldn't be with him. You deserve someone who makes you feel like you've been struck by fucking lightning. Someone who you're excited to be the first thing you see when you wake and the last thing before you sleep. You deserve someone who will worship the ground you walk on, but also someone who challenges you. Someone who admires your tenacity and passion. Does Goodman do that?"

You stare at him in silence and so he continues, "You think I don't want you, but I do. God, I want you," he states. He pauses to wait for any kind of reaction but you remain silent, "Ever since I came here, you're all I've thought about. You've consumed my every being. You've brought life back into me...but I don't think I'm a good enough man for you. I don't think I deserve love and I struggle to let people in. But every time I see you with Goodman, I think about how much I would regret not even trying to fight for you."

"I'm sorry I've hurt you and caused you so much distress since arriving to Richmond. That was never my intention. If you want me to fuck off, I'll obey your wishes. But if you care for me just as much as I care for you, I will do anything you ask of me."

You stare at Roy in silence. You're completely stunned by his outburst of a confession, but hearing his love and adoration for you...it stirs something in you.

You immediately grab Roy by the lapel, pulling him to press your lips against his. He's taken but surprise but then you feel his hands cup your face. His lips moving against yours in the heat of the moment causing a fire to burn in your belly. You feel absolutely consumed by him in this kiss until-

"Y/N L/N!" your mother screeches and you immediately pull away, lips swollen and slightly out of breath.

Your mother is followed by your father, Keeley, Jamie, Jeffrey, and Clara. Your father is trying to calm your mother as she bounds towards you in a furry, "What on Earth do you think you two are doing?! Such a scandal!"

Roy steps forward, "Ma'am, I'm sorry-"

"You'll have to marry now!"

Your eyes widen, "Mother-"

"No! There's no choice now. You have to marry Lord Kent because if word gets out that not only you two were unchaperoned but also found in such a compromising position, you'll be ruined! Not to mention the disrespect on Mr. Goodman!" she gestures to Jeffrey and he looks at you with sympathy, but no malice. He gives you a nod and mouths, "It's okay," which already lightens the load on your shoulders.

Roy clenches his jaw, straightens his back and says, "I'll marry her."

You whip your head to Roy and you look at him in surprise. He completely turns to you and grabs your gloved hand, "I meant what I said, Y/N. Truly. If you'll have me, I will do anything you ask of me, anything to make you happy."

You find yourself breathlessly nodding, "I'll have you," you turn to your parents, "We'll marry."

Your mother nods in satisfaction, "Good. We'll be taking our leave then," she immediately grabs you by the wrist and starts dragging you away.

Roy then steps up to your father, "Will you be available tomorrow afternoon to discuss affairs, sir?"

"I will, my Lord."

Roy nods and sees to walk back towards the house leaving behind your father, Keeley, Jamie, Jeffrey, and Clara.

Jamie claps Jeffrey on the shoulder, "Sorry, mate, looks like that courtship isn't happening."

Jeffrey shrugs, "As long as she's happy. However, I thought her and Lord Kent didn't get along."

Clara sighs, "It's complicated, but it seems they've uncomplicated it...finally."

_________________________

You don't listen to your mother as she scolds you throughout the entire ride back home. You stare out of the carriage with a small smile on your lips. The lips that Roy kissed.

Your father, noting the dreamy look on your face, sighs and places a hand on your mother's lap, "Darling, I think that's enough."

"But-"

"I'm not sure why you're upset, honestly. You wanted them to be together, yes?"

Your mother huffs, "Yes, but I didn't want it to happen so scandalously!"

"The only people who found them were us and her friends. I doubt they'll tell anyone."

"But-" your father gives her a pointed look and she drops the subject. She looks back at you, also noting the look on your face and she's no longer upset. You look so...in love. Your mother hopes that Lord Kent will keep his word and do everything to ensure your happiness.

____________________

When you arrive back home, you bid your parents good night and head upstairs. However, instead of going to your room, you head straight to Cece's.

You slowly open the door and peek in, "Cece?" you whisper.

You watch as she rolls in her bed, "Y/N?" she sits up, rubbing at her eyes, "Is something wrong?"

You slip into her room and sit at the edge of her bed, "I have some news that I think you'll like."

That seems to wake her up as she sits up in bed, "What is it?!"

You chuckle at her excitement, "Roy and I will be getting married."

Her eyes widen and jaw drops, "What?! Really?! Tell me everything!"

You giggle, "I will but let me change and I will come back and tell you everything."

She groans, "Y/N! No! Tell me now! I've been waiting for this for months!"

"Fine, fine," you pull your young cousin close and tell her the events of the night. She was squealing and jumping in her bed.

"I knew it! I knew it! I told you he loves you!"

"Ssshhh!!" you pull her back down, "Mother and father will be upset if they knew you're awake!"

"Well, that's your fault for waking me!"

You softly smile at your cousin, "You should go back to sleep now."

"I can't! I'm too excited to talk to Phoebe about this!"

You quietly laugh, "Well try your best to go back to sleep, hm?"

"I'll try," Cece says as she slips back under her covers. You pull them up to her chin and you kiss her head. As you walk back to her door, she calls for you, "Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"I'm glad you and Roy are finally together. Now you live happily ever after."

You nod, "Thank you, Cece. Good night," you exit her room and softly close the door behind you.

You let out a deep breath and head to your room, ready to sleep after such an eventful night.

[sukibenders]

https://www.tumblr.com/sukibenders/753357046866411521/seeing-marina-gush-to-penelope-about-how-in-her

marina knew Pen feeling towards Colin. I know probably you had been in love and the other person doesnt love you back but i did. And it so painful to see another person making fun if that love you have. marina did that with the unrequited fantasy line . And now, don`t play it like marina really care or love Pen. There, Marina was making fun of Pen too, she was wishing her a life without love. it was Eloise wish to remain spinster but not Pen, she wanted love with all her heart and marina want her to be there watching her married with the man she loves with her friend being a spinster!! BE FOR FUCKING REAL!!!!

(This is going to be long)

No, no, no, let's not solely villainize Marina and go "Oh, sweet Penelope" as if she [Pen] isn't grown enough to know the extent of some of her actions. That's a big reason why I can't stand her character is because of the way fans deny her actions having consequences in comparison to others. I've never said that Marina wasn't wrong for what she did, such as attempting to marry someone and pretending their kids are yours, that's wrong on a lot of levels. But this is set in the Regency era where women don't have many choices, especially in her standing. She was literally about to be thrown out on to the street if she didn't find a suitor. And I'm supposed to care more about Pen getting her feelings hurt over a crush that, sorry, was unrequited at the time? I don't think so. Again, painting Penelope as the poor victim gets really annoying because, okay yeah, she has a crush. Everyone does in life. But that doesn't give her a right to act entitled to said crush's feelings at every turn (nor does it give the fandom the right to do so either), it doesn't give her the right to try and sabotage any other attempts said crush might have with other people behind their back, and it doesn't give her the right to expose their information on a public gossip sheet for everyone to see (both Marina's and Colin's). People get so caught up in Penelope's feelings, and demonizing Marina in the same breath, but also don't take into consideration the impact, while not as severe as Marian's, of what Penelope did to Colin as well (when they aren't busy villainizing him) I'm sorry, but me personally, I wouldn't want to be around someone who leaked private information about me (and someone I was close too) and then continued to talk about it on their gossip sheet, reaped the financial benefits of it, and gave me fake sympathies knowing they were the cause just because they had a crush. Would you? Let's be for fucking real, as you say.

And I'll be honest, I do extend a little more grace towards Penelope now than I did back in the day, but not my much. I would be more inclined of her ending up with Colin if her actions were rightfully called out and she had to work through the consequences of them. But no, that can only happen in fanfic because, apparently, it's wrong to view her actions under anything but a sympathetic lens. And, back to your point, correct me if I'm wrong, but Marina gushing to Penelope earlier in the season about Colin, after their first dance and no realization of Penelope's crush, held no mean attributes to it. Her statement was meant to create a loving bond because, whether you like it or not, Marina and Penelope were close because Marina didn't make fun of her or downplay her at every turn like her mother and sisters. Marina knew exactly how it felt to live under that household, saw a perfect opportunity for escape, and in that escape, not only, thought of bringing Penelope with her or at least providing her shelter, but with her best friend, of whom we can assume Marina knows more about Eloise than she did Penelope's relationship with Colin, because that wasn't revealed until later. So no, Marina did truly care about Penelope. Bringing it back to Colin, who made it clear that, at that point, he had feelings for Marina (and don't deny that he did) why should she throw that away over some crush? Like yeah, what Marina said was a little harsh (and she does apologize later for it), but you're ignoring the fact that, prior to this, Penelope made every attempt she could to be spiteful and rain on Marina's joy (again, before the crush was found out), even turning any positive compliment that Marina gave her as some form of pitty, which it wasn't. At that point, I'd be annoyed too and Marina was far better than me at those points. Now, again, I state this was the Regency era and Marina was running out of time with the only good and less dangerous option of a good life growing farther and farther away, she has to make tough decisions because it's not only about her but her unborn children as well, and I'm supposed to feel more sympathy for Penelope? Her calling Penelope's crush a "childish fantasy" came about when Penelope was trying to withhold Marina from doing something that could have ended up with her finding a good life because Philip showing up was something that no one expected and she was led to believe that Goerge no longer cared for her anymore. But she was supposed to throw that away over a crush? And calling it what it is, even if it was harsh, was not Marina making fun of Penelope. Let's not.

Yes, I have had crushes before, but in no way did I act THAT entitled to someone as a person, especially enough to where I purposely risked someone's life and have said crush still not even consider my feelings. And even if they did, that still doesn't warrant that behavior, and I'm tired of people justifying what Penelope did. I've had a crush on someone, they didn't know about it, moved on with different people one being my friend and you know what I did? Worked on moving on too, because they both were happy for however long they were together, the crush wasn't entitled to returning my feelings, and I knew at a certain point that I had to let go. Was it kind of sad to see Marina diss Penelope's feelings like that? Yeah. And would it hurt if someone did that to me? Yes, but I also won't lie and pretend that that could have been a reality check for Penelope if the show did right. I would have wished that Penelope didn't realize that so late, but sadly that didn't happen. And it's also sad that the fandom to won't let her have an opportunity to move on because, what do you mean Marina was denying her love? I'm sorry, but love exist in many other forms, which Penelope had, and even without Marina in the picture, Colin is clearly shown to not reciprocate Penelope's feelings that way. It's sad how dependent Penelope and some fans feel about that, when it's been shown that, when she tries (get into that later), Penelope can attract people outside of Colin. Personally, at a certain point way before s3, I would've been trying to do that a long time ago. Now, because you said that Penelope didn't want to be a spinster, the statement is kind of laughable because, until s3, we hardly see Penelope make any attempts to find a match with someone who isn't Colin, who still isn't returning her feelings. In fact, we hardly see her with anyone who isn't Eloise, and there are more scenes of her dodging attempts to find a suitor than actually looking for one. She literally uses Marina as a shield in s1 to prevent from doing so so that she can spend time with Eloise! (Ngl, if my friend did that for most of our lives, I too would think that she would want to be a spinster, but Eloise still could have talked about it more with her). It also ignores how, when Colin entered Marina's life again and basically went "Hey, I'm not against playing the second step daddy" Marina still went and pushed him to go and be with Penelope, even though, from what we can assume, they probably haven't seen each other since Marina got married and had her twins.

The reason I don't care much for Polin is because I hardly get to see much growth on Penelope's side at all in the ship, especially due to the fandom making it their life's mission to make Colin grovel for every little thing (some in which he really shouldn't). We got to see opportunities even before s3 of her associating with other characters, one being with Marina and the other being Edwina but they all get thrown out the window as soon as Colin enters the fray. Heck, even when around Eloise, as soon as Colin is mentioned or shows up she's eager to dip and make her way over. She wanted love with all her heart WITH COLIN. She had opportunities to be with other people, but she wanted Colin so bad that she was willing to do anything. Perhaps if the fandom addressed this, if they stopped trying to paint her actions as overly sympathetic and let her be morally complex, then I could get behind it. But no, we have to put the blame on others.

[polyamorousmood]

hi! i'd love to get some sympathy/advice/etc from other ppl about this. so long story short my girlfriend (wonderful amazing great i am so happy with her) has a boyfriend, and i at first their rs was meant to be ephemeral, but then things changed and they realized they could make a longform commitment work out, so they tried! problem is, during the trial run, the guy realized poly wasnt working for him and he failed to communicate this well, so it caused a situation where he was very much just fishing for my partner to get in a closed rs with him. when she expressed how hurtful and wrong that was, he apologized and changed his behavior and after some more various ups and downs we've now settled into a pretty good situation where he's giving polyamory a serious try and seems sincerely committed to making it good! i trust my gf wholeheartedly and i want nothing but the best for them both, and for that brief period of time where it was ok we even had 3person dates and really special interactions, so i came to sincerely like guy a decent bit and i am cautiously but sincerely optimistic. however, by having to admit shit to himself, he's now of the mind that he'd like a much more segmented-off rs with my partner, which is fine, but also the resentment he felt towards not being able to have my gf all to himself made him lose his positive feelings towards me and now he expresses a (his words) 'goodwilled indifference' and we havent even Talked since he tried to effectively ultimatum my gf out of being poly. and that is just SO hurtful when i know i did absolutely nothing wrong to warrant the loss of what i felt was a genuinely precious and positive connection, and like, the first time ive had the chance to have a metamour! like as someone who really cares about learning how to admit fault i really cannot stress enough how much i didnt do jack shit here i was just vibing and trying to be nice and now it's just this sad thing i have to deal with. i know it has everything to do with his own preferences and insecurities and nothing to do with me, but i still feel a big child-like sense of betrayal and injustice and it makes me want to be mean and bitter and defensive ("well if you dont give a shit about me and wanna pretend i don't exist, then im gonna do the same! how do you like that, huh?" type beat). i know those feelings are to be worked with and worked through instead of acted upon, but it's still hard :-( i dont really miss *him*, really, i just miss not being in a polycule that has a member who struggles so much with polyamory. and though i trust her deeply, i am still sad and worried that this is a precarious situation that can end up hurting my partner and hampering her ability to feel free and happy in polyamory, which only adds to my mistrusting of the guy. anyone else in a similar situation, havin' to work with a poly-newbie metamour or something similar? im not crazy for getting bad vibes, despite my best hopes for them? thank you either way, i dont know enough poly people irl and ive been bursting with this shit for a bit so it helps even to just ramble it out

Yeah, I've been in similar places. Just putting the read more immediately because I don't have a good pithy introduction. But uh, TL;DRI guess? 🤷‍♀️: its totally fair for you to struggle with some negative feelings. But you are still in it together (even if he's pretending you don't exist) and the only way to the other side is through.

Its shitty, its exhausting, its infuriating. And it's all the more frustrating that you like... don't even WANT to be mad at him cause he DID apologize and now he IS trying to change the shitty parts, so you WANT to encourage that. Feels very

And it puts your mutual partner in the tough spot of having to balance⚖️ things between you two if he's unwilling to talk to you. And like, you're stuck waiting for him to come around, you can't even really DO anything, its all on HIM to prove he's not going to be an asshole forever.

And you kinda resent him for causing this much trouble basically all on his own! And then thinking he can still get all the good shit after stirring the pot! Like he tried to break you up and now you have to be the bigger person?? What kinda bullshit--

Fucking. Sucks.

I do have some advice, though as with most things, its not magic 🪄

🤬Be mad for a little bit! Allow yourself to feel it. You're not gonna wallow 🐖there, but let it hit you full force how much you dislike being in this bullshit situation. Maybe have a cry about it or throw some darts at his picture 🎯. Then, and only then,

Set it aside. Set the anger aside in your mind, set the situation aside in your discussions. Say "yup, sucks. Moving on..." and enjoy the good parts of your life.

As part of that, remember polyamory is a big ask for people who've never done it before. Him even just politely ignoring you is likely, in his mind, him compromising on everything he's believed in for years and the fundamentals of what his life will look like. That's a big deal. It's hard to do after there was previously a higher standard set, but try to give him some credit for that anyway. (Again. You are probably going to have to Be Mad first to be able to do this. That's okay. Don't skip ahead.)

I don't think having approximately the same attitude back is necessarily a bad strategy. Maybe don't do it with the petulance you presented in the ask 😝 but if you're able to just gently, non-judgmentally accept neutrality as a mode of operating with him... might save you a lot of trouble honestly🤷. Warmth is great and all, but I think it runs the risk of you burning out and feeling greater resentment down the line if it stays one sided (but you know yourself better than I do, so if you can handle it, power to you).

Know your feelings about this really well. Know what you're good with 👍, know what bothers you but you're willing to do for the good of the polycule😖, and know what really upsets you👎. Is this something you can make work long term? What changes would you need to have it work long term (including progress from him, accommodations from your partner, etc)?

Consider confronting him directly. You'll know better if that's actually a good idea in this situation than I will, but consider it. It may help you move past things to air your feelings, it may help him understand you better and vice versa, and it may lay the groundwork for a more functional relationship down the line. I must admit bias here. It is VERY important to me that things can be relaxed with my metas. The idea of refusing to engage with me feels like they're refusing to engage with the very concept of polyamory, and I that cannot work in my life - like, I run a poly blog you can guess how I value polyamory 😂 If you can be comfortable with something closer to parallel polyamory, this may be unnecessary.

And of course, through all of this, you have to talk to your partner. All of it. If you have a tendency to martyr yourself so as not to stress your partner out, overpower that tendency for this one. You are NOT doing your partner any favors by doing bottling it up. 🍾

For example, earlier I said your partner is going to have to balance things between you and your meta. It may be tempting to think you can spare her some of that by shrinking your feelings and needs, so maybe you'll just bite your tongue. However, she has to do the work anyway, and forcing her to work with incomplete information actually makes the balancing that much harder. While you shouldn't harp on them about it, she should know where you're at in all this. You owe your partner the ability to make informed decisions, and your happiness and ability to sustain a certain set-up is going to be an important factor to them! Tell them your misgivings, tell them if its going to take you some time to forgive him his bullshit, tell them if you are okay with something in the short term but don't know if you can spring it long term, tell them if you need a break from thinking about the whole damn situation. (And of course, as always, tell your partner when something feels good or is going well 😊)

It can be recovered. It will require patience. Hang in there. 🤗 I admire your commitment to figuring it out, and it sounds like you have a splendid partner who is just as committed to making it workable. I'm rooting for you all 💙💖🖤

[beevean]

The thing about Isaac's "character arc" in the show is: would you really be able to tell that he's changed if he stopped babbling his mouth about it?

Like how different are his actions really? Because if you need your character to spell out repeatedly "I have gone through character development " then chances are that said development doesn't reflect that well on the actual screen

Because apart from no longer wanting to kill Hector...he kinda still mostly acts the same?

Isaac asking how Hector is doing without a finger is unironically the only example of genuine growth he has shown. In the past he wouldn't have given a single shit, he always spoke to Hector and about Hector with disdain and was all "huehuehue we can't be friends because we'll die anyway", so him showing concern unprompted is big for him. (and I want to remind everyone that Lenore, the woman supposedly in love with Hector, did nothing of that. Her only reaction to Hector cutting his finger was disgust and dismay, not worry that he might bleed to death or regret that he had to mutilate himself because of her actions. But tell me more about her character development!)

Isaac certainly changed attitude between S3 and S4. In S3 he was mostly angry and sneering, in S4 he's all zen and content and wise. As I said other times, though, the most substantial change in his character was that he finds "better" reasons to kill people. Before, he killed everyone who was slightly rude to him, because making demons out of them was more convenient than finding another way around, because humans bad or something. Now, he kills people for the sake of "improving" the world, so the magician is fair game because he enslaved a village, Carmilla is fair game because she's insane, and the mercenaries who happened to be in the castle are fair game because they're in the way.

When you think about it, he's still killing people for the sake of "purifying" the world, like he said he wanted to do in S2. Him deciding he wants to build a better world is conceptually not very different from his original plan of wanting to eradicate humanity because only without humanity the world can be full of love. He's just more selective about his victims. And he's doing not for Dracula's sake anymore, but for the sake of himself and feeling good about his actions. He says so! He enjoys feeling like the hand rather than the knife! That's his change! This big character development touted by many as the best of all time is just this dude deciding he wants to do things for himself! Which works, absolutely (insert here Hector's speech about not wanting to be a pawn in Dracula's plan because he's a human being), but I'm not impressed with how it was portrayed here. Because accepting his "change" from someone who would murder people at the drop of a hat to someone who murders for "heroic" reasons, or rather someone who killed out of hatred to someone who focuses on his own happiness and feeling of satisfaction, hinges entirely on you believing Isaac deserves to be happy simply for who he is, because he suffered enough in his childhood, because he's "cool" as this super badass fighter. I don't, he did nothing to earn my sympathies, and the more the story sucks him off at the expense of everyone else who were beaten down out of literary sadism, the less I care about the narrative's favorite receiving yet another prize on a silver platter.

As I said other times, "I want to live." yeah and i'm sure the guards whose corpses you defiled wanted to live too, but you're still using the Night Creatures you made out of them as convenient tools :)

And having the show tell us no less than three times that he has changed is certainly a failure of writing, yes, not to mention a lack of faith in the viewers' intelligence and its own skills to convey a concept. So, business as usual for the show!

[navree]

I saw your post and got super worried because I assumed it was the artist I've loved since they started here on tumblr. So, I went on the dreaded 🐦 app and low & behold, stan culture ruins things once again! Kinda glad I wasn't around during the heyday of GOT because it must've been absolutely insufferable! 😖😖😖

Fandom during GOT's prime must have been insane already, but I do think it's gotten worse in recent years. There used to be the unspoken rule of "if you've got nothing nice to say don't say anything at all" that appears to have completely vanished from fandom spaces. Cuz if I see a post with an opinion I don't like/agree with, or fanart of a character I don't care for, or fic of a ship that I dislike, I'm not gonna leap down OP's throat about it. I'm just gonna scroll, maybe vague post about it on another app (I've vague posted about some dumb Twitter opinions on here on occasion), and then move on. But this idea that, if someone doesn't like the same things you like, they're not only morally reprehensible but personally committing some kind of wrong against you specifically is insane. It's more than that trend I've mentioned about trying to equate fandom with morality, it is, as I said in the tags of that post, something that reeks of insecurity. There's a bunch of people in varying fandom spaces that feel that their own opinions simply must be validated, because their opinions are correct, but it's not enough for them to think it, other people need to think it too.

And it's an issue that has dominated Team Black in HOTD specifically. Cuz I'm not seeing it from Rhaenicents, from Greens, even from show casuals. It's diehard Team Black and primarily TB book purists at that who find Rhaenicent fanart (especially ones that take Emma D'Arcy's actual appearance into account), or Team Green posts, or even regular posts expressing any sort of appreciation for Team Green actors or sympathy for some of the characters (especially Alicent or Helaena) and just lose their minds. Insult the poster or the artist, deride actor's appearances, weaponize actual political language to support their point despite no real tangible thread of connection ('killing Lucerys is basically femicide' omegas aren't a real thing and killing that boring ass boy is not, in fact, femicide, there are actual femicides happening in the real world right now, focus on those), and get hopping mad at the fact that these varied posts exist. It's greed to an almost biblical proportion tbf, it's not enough that most show casuals agree with their opinions, that most people with both book and show knowledge are on their side, that the narrative of the show supports their views (in the Jaehaera art thing specifically, that canon dictates she's gonna die and that Daenaera and Aegon are gonna be married and have a reasonably happy married life). Everyone needs to be on their side, nobody had better dare have opposing views to their's. And if those opposing views exist, well then those people have earned all the nastiness that's gonna get thrown their way for having those opposing views.

Like, you're that insecure? You need everyone to agree with you in order to hold fandom opinions? You can't just like something for your own reasons and ignore people who don't agree? Other people, people who don't even know you exist, hold that much power over you? Team Black, are you guys really so pathetically weak?

Anyway, fuck people who tag butch Rhaenicent art with snippy "Daemicent!!!" quote tweets, fuck people running TG fanartists off of social media because you can't handle drawings, fuck people going up to actors and saying vile shit to them based on their characters, fuck everyone who tries to be an asshole about Olivia's looks or TGC's looks or Phia's looks, and fuck stan culture. Everyone's who's so deranged about their fictional opinions that they act nasty to real human beings should simply find the nearest noose and hang themselves by the neck until dead, the world will be an infinitely better place and no one will miss them.

[moldsporr]

I'm voting Kotoko Guilty this round for quite a few reasons. First off, the only other two characters who have been voted guilty are Haruka and Muu. Yk. Minors. Who are already in a shitty mindset, who's verdict will most likely make that worse? Yeah. I would rather not have them beat up by Kotoko. And she WOULD beat them up- she would have beat up Amane if she hadn't been stopped, and Amane is much younger than Haruka and Muu.

I don't even mind her fighting injustice to feel good about herself. I mean, she's still fighting injustice. Regardless of her personal feelings about it, she's still doing good things. It's the way she goes about it that worries me. The article she was reading on her phone states that "more violence than necessary was used". Of course, the article could always be biased, but Kotoko has shown herself to be a violent person. Her call to us to vote everyone else in Milgram as Guilty, regardless of their crime, is a request for us to give her permission to make them her enemy and crush them. She would apply the same amount of force to, say, Yuno- someone who simply had an abortion because she didn't want the baby- as a person who kidnapped a child.

Kotoko sees everything in black and white. Yuno's "crime" of an abortion is just as evil as Haruka's crime of murder. Here's a reminder of the character's crimes (from my understanding):

Haruka: killed out of desperation to be seen, to have his mother finally acknowledge him after he wasn't good enough (ie, neurotypical) to keep up with the other kids.

Yuno: Had an abortion because she didn't want the baby. She didn't have some tragic reason why, she had a normal life. She was simply doing as she pleased.

Fuuta: Took part in cancel culture, which ended up doxxing a minor and she took her own life. He didn't want to accept responsibility for this, but it was clearly weighing on his mind.

Muu: She bullied others with her friends, and then her friends turned on her. She reached out to a classmate for help, but didn't receive any. Muu stabbed her in a panic, after alluding to either her or the classmate dying at the end of all of this.

Shido: Medical malpractice ? I think ? It's still not clear to me idk

Mahiru: Abused her boyfriend until he offed himself due to her sheltered life and toxic positivity. She feels as though she can't change, and she wants someone to love even if it hurts both of them.

Kazui: Lied about romantically loving his wife so that he could fit in to society at large. When he finally opened up about his feelings, the shock of it all caused his wife to end her life. He cared for her, but can't continue lying like this.

Amane: Killed her abuser, and is clinging to religion to both justify it to herself and comfort herself.

Mikoto: Still unclear whether he or John did the murder, how many murders there were, who was murdered, etc. The focus isn't exactly on the murder, moreso how mentally ill people are pushed to their limit with no support or help from others and the unhealthy coping mechanisms that can arise from that.

She tells us to throw away our sympathy. But understanding and kindness and sympathy are so so so important- not just in Milgram, but everywhere else, too. Yes, these are just characters, but a popular theory is that they represent societal issues. And I do believe that's true. They may not be real, but they represent real problems real people face. By ignoring the nuance, we blindly swing at whatever we're told is "guilty". Kotoko only attacked the prisoners we announced as Guilty. She won't act on her own moral code, merely the law. We are the law in Milgram, so she follows us.

I adore Kotoko, but her mindset is genuinely dangerous. While this is unlikely (cough, Amane) I hope her Guilty vote will help her. But it probably won't- Guilty votes destroy a person. But I can't vote her Innocent, either. I don't forgive her for her black and white thinking. Thus, she is Guilty to me. I'm very curious how she'll develop after this. I'm a little scared, too, but oh well.