#and i do need a lot of space to rest and recharge
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milkoomi · 2 days ago
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how i maintained a 4.0 gpa. ᥫ᭡
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a lot of students strive to be the “perfect” student, me included! i’ve been able to achieve academic success, and i’m here to share my knowledge on how to do so! these are some things that have personally helped me, and so hopefully they can help you too! maintaining a 4.0 isn’t an easy feat, and i know that from first-hand experience. i haven’t always maintained this gpa, especially when i entered college, but i started implementing new things into my routine and study sessions that have helped me immensely!
let’s begin …
୨ৎ — daily/weekly planning
this was a game changer for me! especially coming back into college after taking some time off from school, planning my day/week out helped me tremendously! it helps you set aside time for schoolwork/studying as well as things that are more personal (i.e. self care, running personal errands, appointments/events, hang outs with friends/loved one, etc.).
time blocks
if you have a planner that includes an hourly schedule, use it! i recently got one that has one, and it’s helped me so much! getting an idea of a time frame for how long you work on school assignments or for studying can also help to alleviate any overwhelming feelings that a to-do list might give you (though, i am a huge fan of to-do lists personally!).
to-do lists
if you’re like me, and you enjoy lists, i highly recommend creating a to-do list! keep it simple if those kinds of lists tend to overwhelm you and create a more generalized to-do list.
generalized list example:
review course modules
complete 2 hours of work
rest for 30min - 1hr
journal before bed
the key with generalized to-do lists is to keep them very simple! maybe include the most important goals for your day/week, but avoid including every single thing you need to get done for the day!
୨ৎ — consistent routine
i’ve talked about routines a plethora of times, and you’ll hear so many others talk about it as well, but routines are so important when you’re on the road to academic success!
i’ve been able to feel more accomplished with a set routine during the week. waking up at the same time, ensuring i set aside time at night to myself, and time-blocking portions of my day to complete tasks! a good routine will help you stay on track.
even if you don’t have a set morning/night routine, still try to establish a good study/schoolwork routine! create a study ritual where you light your favorite candle, set the mood with ambient lighting (or whatever lighting you prefer), or maybe you have a designated study spot at a library or café!
if you do create a study routine, it would also be a good idea to freshen things up a bit here and there so that the tasks don’t start to seem mundane! maybe change up the location of where you study or maybe you might want to listen to a different playlist while you work or even starting with a different class instead of the usual first choice.
don’t be afraid to spice things up in your routine, even if it’s the smallest changes. doing so can also help prevent burn out!
୨ৎ — completing assignments ahead of time
working ahead (if possible) is always a great choice to make! or even simply just getting assignments done the day they were assigned is also a good idea! get your homework out of the way so that you can create more space for personal time to rest and recharge or, if you’re feeling energized and motivated, more time to focus on studying for upcoming exams!
also, making sure you get assignments done well before their due date also ensures that you work thoroughly and efficiently. it prevents rushed work and lessens the chances of any mistakes!
be diligent when it comes to your homework assignments! if you have the time now, get it done!
୨ৎ — attending all lectures
this is so important! catching up with missed assignments, notes, and lectures can be extremely overwhelming. it leads to that feeling of needing to rush your work and then creating that opportunity for mistakes. it’s also just, in general, difficult to keep up with your classes when you aren’t physically present in class. you lose the opportunity to ask questions in class, to take proper notes, to record lectures for later studying, and you miss out on key information/announcements from your teachers/professors.
of course, there will be days where you literally cannot make it to class, and that’s okay! don’t go beating yourself up for having to take a sick day, your health always comes first! be sure to communicate with your professors and to ask any and all necessary questions!
but i only bring this point up because it’s something that’s helped me succeed. plus, some of my grade depended on my attendance, which you’ll come to find while in college.
୨ৎ — creating connections
build relationships with your classmates and your professors! this is a really great way of ensuring you get good grades! how? well, as i mentioned in my post about how to study effectively, i brought up study groups. if you start building connections with your classmates, you’ll be able to create those study groups and work with others to continue to learn and study the material! it will help so much to have another friend who can help you out with a topic that you might be struggling with!
also, connecting with your professors is really great for 1. setting that good impression for yourself and 2. building that relationship with them allows for more comfort and ease of mind when you need to go to them for extra help and guidance! your professors are there to aid you in any way they can to help you achieve success in their class. i know it might be daunting to reach out to your professors, but i promise that they’re there to help you and that they are more than willing to guide you on the path to success!
୨ৎ — implementing study methods
i touched on various study methods in my post that i linked in the previous point! but study methods can give you a variety of new ways to learn the material! also, playing around with the material in different methods can spice up your study routine while also seeing what kind of methods get the topics to really stick.
i definitely recommend referring back to my “how to study effectively” post for a more detailed discussion on studying!
୨ৎ — romanticizing school
when i started treating myself as the main character, it gave me so much more motivation to get things done for myself. including my studies!
think of yourself as rory gilmore, blair waldorf, elle woods, hermione granger, or any of those iconic, studious characters!
how to romanticize your education:
set an aesthetic for yourself
light academia
dark academia
pink academia
coquette
there’s so many different aesthetics out there that you can play around with or follow to get inspiration! pinterest will be your best friend, and i recommend creating a school/study vision board with the aesthetic of your choice!
once you’ve settled on an aesthetic (or a few, whatever you’d like!) find school supplies that relate to what you chose! fancy notebooks, planners, cool pens/pencils/highlighters, and maybe be a new bag that fits into your style! having the supplies that bring you joy make your studying experience ten times better, trust me!
dress the part
again, take inspiration from your favorite educational icons! or simply, wear what you feel the most confident in! when you show up to class knowing you look good along with having those supplies that you know look aesthetically pleasing, you feel like you’re already a top student!
your study environment
this gets talked about a lot, but when i’m studying in my freshly cleaned room that’s been decorated to my liking and i have a nice candle going with my choice of lighting, i feel like my studying experience is a million times better! even when i go to a café to study or i’m in the library to get work done, i just feel like the main character in my own movie (which i am because, hey! it’s my life!)
let your workspace be your ideal space! when you work in an environment where you can get things done and you feel comfortable, you can accomplish so much.
study playlists
those ambient vibes playlists on youtube with those really aesthetically pleasing backgrounds on them are my go-to whenever i’m getting work done. it helps set the vibe for my sessions and it puts me in a good headspace to get into the grind! so pick a playlist that motivates you to get tasks done!
my favorite youtube study music videos:
Winter Jazz Library - Chill Crossing Hour
** i also recommend this channel for all their playlists!
Get to Work Sleepyhead - jelly
4-Hour Study with Me - Emmalilyn
** Emmalilyn has so many of these kinds of 4-hour study with me videos! i believe majority of them include the pomodoro method, so if that’s something you do or want to try i definitely recommend her channel!
2-Hour Study with Me - Tanyi
୨ৎ — final notes
those are all the tips i had to share with you all! this is what has personally worked for me, so there might be some things that might not work or you might do differently! regardless, you are capable of achieving great success throughout your academic career! never forget that. school is all about learning, and one of the things you learn is what works best for you and your road to success! do whatever works for you and play around with different ideas and methods! i wish you all the very best for your academic career! i’m rooting for you!
with lots of love, faustina 🌷
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leaves-and-inks · 18 days ago
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“Not fierce enough to run with the wolves, but too vicious to find belonging amongst the dogs.”
[ID: Digital illustration of a pinkish coyote on a textured purple/blue gradient square, on top of a cream paper background. The coyote twists in an unnatural way, its limbs in different directions. Its head is thrown back to almost be resting on its back, which it's raised at the read haunches. it’s tail is slightly longer than a real coyote’s and bent at several angles. Its mouth is open in a somewhat blank, aghast expression. it’s yellow eye is larger than average and wide open. the line art is scratchy and in various purple, except for the mouth which is in various shades of pink. The fur is textured and messy, and follows the same patterns of a coyote’s coat in a pink/purple color pallette. There is a cream outline around the coyote that matches the background and also cuts into overlapping elements, such as the back limbs or the head. The cream background has a paper texture that overlaps the rest of the image, In the bottom right is a watermark that reads “LEAVES AND INKS” handwritten inside an oak leaf shape /end ID]
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fishnapple · 1 month ago
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Your travel destinations, where should you travel to?
This topic was suggested by someone, I think it's really an interesting idea but hard to do a reading on. This will be a reading about what kind of places you should go for each purpose (to relax, to connect, to find inspiration, to find opportunity)
This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.
Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐
About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)
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URANUS
The energy is quite active or, in some cases, defensive. Wherever you go, there's an element of protection, you have to protect something of yours, your stance, your opinions, your achievements, your possessions, you might need to be cautious when travelling.
To relax: somewhere remote and private, where you don't have to meet many people and worry about prying eyes. Could be some lesser known beaches or resorts. You should feel familiar with these places, they shouldn't be somewhere new, maybe these place were where you went when you were a kid and had a lot of fond memories about them. Even if they have been renovated, they still contain some nostalgic elements. I see fields, twilight time, birds, lots of water, maybe some place where it rains a lot.
To connect: lively places with lots of banters. This kind place should be suitable for talking openly so it won't be those dimly lit restaurants where soothing music is playing and everyone talks in low voice. This place is kind of rowdy, an element of competition, there is little space between people, strangers can easily talk to each other without much awkwardness. I see a pub where people are watching some show and talking about it, a debate club, a workshop, a sports centre, an arcade, contests.
To find inspiration: contrary to the places for connection, the places where you can find inspiration will be quiet, professional, everyone is keeping to themselves. If there's talk at all, it will be an introduction, a lecture, one person is talking while the others listen. A class, a museum, an exhibition, a presentation. If it's somewhere in nature then it will be a high place, mountains, hills, where you can see the scenery below and where you can see the stars clearly.
To find opportunities: lots of people around, older people, teachers, foreigners. Somewhere you have an emotional connection with or somewhere with lots of acquaintances. The setting is comfy, warm but formal. Could be school, overseas business trips, a forum. There are lots of talking, exchange ideas, commercial places, a bakery, a bookshop. Somewhere sunny and dry, should be near where you are living, not too far, like the kind that is continents away. This might be where you can settle down and stay long-term.
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MERCURY
All the places you go to will have a great impact on your life, it doesn't matter if they are small or grand, secluded or public. They all have a certain foreign element to them.
To relax: this place has to look nice and beautiful to you. You can't relax in shabby, aesthetically ugly places. I see lots of sleeping, this is where you go to get some shut eyes. Maybe somewhere you go to periodically, somewhere familiar with lots of memories. This place will have lots of natural lights, you can catch the sunlight and the moonlight easily. Sleeping under the moonlight to recharge (but be mindful of moonburn though, it's real, if you have sensitive skin, the moon is strong in your chart or you were born on new moon, moonlight can mildly burn your skin if exposed for too long)
To connect: you won't be able to expect these kinds of places. Maybe you have some negative impressions about them or they seem out of your comfort zone. This will likely be when you are taken by somebody else to this place, not on your own. It can be an emergency or maybe something happens at the current place so you have to move to another. You will be reluctant to go there. If not, then you will only go to this kind of place on a whim, something has changed drastically for you, or you consciously want to be more daring and brave. In short, any places that you immediately feel the urge to resist going there, but, also have a certain fascination with them, will be the places where you can connect with people the most.
To find inspiration: somewhere you have to travel by air to get there. Likely foreign countries. You will hear lots of talks about these places, they could be some famous destinations or have a certain charm to a specific group of people. The sky is clear and bright, lots of vehicles, lush scenery, different from your own culture.
To find opportunities: this will be a busy place, people running around, a lot of things can be accomplished there. You will have to be fast and direct there, a very dynamic environment, likely your workplace or a job fair. This place seems serious, not much fun is allowed there.
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PLUTO
This group might actually just fit for only a few people.
To relax: This is probably a bit unconventional, but the place where you can find relaxation is actually your workplace, or somewhere you can carry out your duty, do your job. The reputation of the tasks, the busy atmosphere, the sense of responsibility and helpfulness, and knowing that you're contributing to something might ground your mind. Another place is somewhere lively with lots of people, this kind of place can make you feel more alive, especially if you're someone who usually feels lonely or feels some voids inside when you're alone. The physical energy of people around you, the concentration you put into your work might be your anchor.
To connect: somewhere that lets you immerse in all the five senses, nature scenery, during the period of autumn, when fruits are ripe, the scents of everything grow stronger. This will be the place where you've been to in the past but now it has changed, it's about the things or the people you know are changing, maybe a wedding, the change of marital status. There's a feeling of spirituality and religion, could be temples, churches, places to retreat, the wood. Another one is the bank or somewhere you can exchange money.
To find inspiration: there are two types of places. One is a show, a concert, an exhibition of some artists, there will be performances. The other one is more like a situation, where you have to be at some places for some duties but you will have a chance to sneak out, to go anywhere spontaneously, probably with another person, this will feel like an adventure for you. This kind of situation will give you a sense of being free, being spontaneous.
To find opportunities: the place where you can find lots of opportunities for growth will be the place for meeting friend groups. You will meet lots of friends there. I see schools, the plaza, city squares, the internet, groups of shared interests. Streams, where water flows, places where you can hear birds singing clearly, water park, cinemas. This might be just for a few, but the cemetery or somewhere related to the departed, ghosts, hospital, somewhere you can connect with the ancestors.
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MARS
This is not about the places but about the time, summer might not be auspicious for travelling, but the rest of the seasons, spring, autumn, winter will be. You might also take note of the moon phase, when the moon is half full, when the moon appears reddish, avoid going out, home will be the best place for you to be.
To relax: you might want to go to these places after you've done some major works and achieved something significant. It doesn't mean that you can't go before that, but going after the work is done will bring peace to your mind and rejuvenate your body. These places have good foods and animals, fruit trees, the energy feels old and bountiful. Could be camping, going to nice local restaurants, hot springs, farms, sheeps and horses come to mind. And good ol' home will also an excellent choice.
To connect: the places where you go to relax might actually be the places for you to meet and connect with more people. Some acquaintances will introduce you to someone, or you will meet them by chance, completely unexpected. Other places will be the bank, large stores, well established buildings, jewellery shops, somewhere with rich history. I also hear driveway at night, you might travel to those places at night, at the start of winter. I got a pretty weird feeling, a little scared, new connections might form when you're in some kinds of troubles, they might be the one helping you.
To find inspiration: you might want to go to see some contests, matches, especially sporty kinds, races, where people can compete, fast actions, and exciting energy. You might be in a long period of boredom or tense situations, so you will want to get out and get some fresh air, to shake your spirit up a little.
To find opportunities: you might go to someone else's homes to learn some skills or to show your expertise, or a place where you can practice those skills. There will be examinations, evaluations, discussions of the skills and the related products. I see wine and food, handmade crafts, things that take a long time to make.
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revelboo · 1 month ago
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Maybe some optimus, metroplex, or tfp ratchet pretty please🙏 I have no special reason bc you always make sure we're fed regularly I'm just addicted to them💅 *looping around your legs like a cat and you're holding the treat bag*
Also I am floored over some(all tbh) of the other characters recent chapters and just how many different paths all these stories are on and how well they all flow like do you somehow have extra storage space in your brain??? Where can I get the update installed for myself😂how the hell are you sorting all these bc you may pump them out fast but thats still like a lot of things to track😅 plz tell me you have a comically large brick of sticky notes you're slowly going through bc otherwise real talk if youre just rawdogging this all by memory plz ignore the request and give your brain a rest🙏we ly but plz make sure to take breaks with lots of snacks and sleep💗
Nah, I just keep track of them in my head. I’m weird like that 😅 I’m doing better now. First day I’ve woken up without a headache in two weeks
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I Can Feel You Pt 11
Metroplex x Reader
• Rasping softly, brows creasing in frustration that he can’t speak. Still. Keeps his head turned toward where you’re sitting on a table with Ratchet’s tools as the medic works to repair the drone’s damaged systems. To give him a voice again. Something pulls, hurts and there’s a burst of staticky noise. “Little one,” he says, not his voice, but his words. And you stand, little fingers fisted in the blanket Ratchet has given you. “I think everything should be back online now, but take it easy. This drone’s been inactive for centuries,” Ratchet says. But he’s not listening, focused on you as he mass shifts the drone to your size, the energy strain slamming through him in drowning pain. Crippling him and severing the connection to the drone. Hearing Ratchet’s frustrated, “What did I just say?”
• Visor dimming, the drone sags. “Metroplex?” Looking from him to Ratchet when the medic vents tiredly. “Is he gone again?” Nodding, the medic slams down a tool a bit rougher than necessary. “Can I sit with him until he comes back? Please,” you add as he frowns at you.
• “Probably not a good idea. Any involuntary movement could hurt you even at that size,” he mutters so you content yourself with sitting on the edge of the table, legs dangling. “We should at least get some answers,” he grumbles. “No matter how much damage we repair, he’s rerouting energy somewhere and staying critically low.” Hesitating as he begins cleaning his tools, he looks at you, expression critical. “Hound told me you’d said the Titan was speaking to you.”
• Face heating at the memory that speaking isn’t all you’d done, you shrug weakly. “He was lonely. I started talking to him first.” Because you’d been lonely, too. Overlooked a lot of the time by the Autobots just because you’re so small, an after thought most of the time. Easily forgotten. But Metroplex had heard you, seen you. Reached out in return. Echoing your loneliness and halving it.
• Again. Frustrated as he retreats deeper into himself, knows he needs to build energy again. Be patient. But the drone is there with you. It’s mass displaced. These are steps forward, not stumbles. He just has to remain on course. You’re waiting for him. You’ll be right there. He needs to believe it, desperate to hold you in his arms even if they’re borrowed. To recharge with your heartbeat against him, to hear your soft voice and to be able to answer. Wants to hear about your day, your dreams, everything. And he’s getting closer to that goal. Closer to you.
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Amusing myself all the way to Pier Park leaving notes
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sirenmoontarot · 4 months ago
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How do you need to nurture yourself? ☁️🕊️
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𝑀𝓎 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓅 ~ 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝒸 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈
~~~~~ 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 ~~~~~
Welcome to the cottage! I am Alla <3 Sit with me in the garden and let’s have some mystic tea as we see what the Oracle has to tell you. Take what resonates and leave the rest!
Pile 1
Okay guys so for this first group i feel that what you actually need to do is to shine on and embrace yourself as how you are and instead of giving into the chaos of uncertainties and your emotions, allowing yourself to gently flow through those emotions in order for you to be fully yourself. We have the moon theme twice, you would benefit from connecting with it, and using the full moon to manifest. I strongly feel you need to expand your energies, you are constrainign yourself a lot of the time, you dont know how to navigate in your own emotions, this pile is encouraged to believe in your power to create, vision, manifest, create the lifeyou want. The power of the yet-not-created is yours. However in your journey this is continuousl affected by pains and shadows of the past, making you sttray away from you power and purpose. I sense many people of this pile have number 11 prominent in their numerology or birthday. Indicating you are called to lead in this lifetime and you also have a strong purpose here that could be related to spirituality, but it often is hard to manage or not fall in the negativity that makes you sabotage everything. The moon reminds you you are in constant fluctuation and you should embrace the ‘’becoming’’ and the feminine principles of flowing, and embracing your emotions. Times of rest and restoration are needed for you to recharge and connect deeper. A new depth of your spiritual practice is calling you. You should aim for ease and stillness, this will help your mind and life overall. The archeptype you have to heal within yourself is ‘’the judge’’ are you using this to be critical ofyourselg, punishimg, unforgiving, building walls around you? This is a powerful energy and it is a gift of discernment, to do the right actions, power, advocacy and compassion but you have to be careful if you are channeling it wrong towards yourself and therefore others…
Pile 2
First of all I am hearing guys you should believe more that you are on ther right paht, because you are. Start walking more confidently in your life, be in presence, strongly with the conviction that you are where you need to be. You need to work on your shame feelings, everything that doesnt let you live as you would wish. You need to meditate more to calm down those thoughts and dissolve those traumas. To find an inner temple inside. Stop hesitating so much, it all comes from childhood wounds. Many people of this group will resonate with the childhood wound of humiliation. You need to feel mothered, some of you in this group need this very strongly, due to mother wound. Connecting to the earth can help you on this, and after that, you will also learn to mother yourself. You also struggle to fully connect to yourself and find yourself a reliable, sacred space. This is normal it also comes with growth, but you are led to do this now, find or create a sacred space within yourself. The feelings of safety are necessary to you as well. sometimes trauma gets embedded in our system, but we are not always in danger. Practicing the mantra ‘’ i am in peace ‘’ can help you a lot. You need to find security in yourself! Also remember to give yourself the space to evolve, change, with ease, grace, and nurturing. Let yourself shed as many skins as you need. Life might have been extra tough for you lately, as if Saturn was lashing you, lol but you are called to breathe and find activities, places that allow you to breathe, expand, release the tention, stress and burden, and this way see the colours of life again. I am seeing lots of green so again, for this group connecting to nature specially trees and rivers will be very nourishing for you.
Pile 3
Okay you guys for this group the energies are very clear, i am getting PRAYING, connecting with the divine; you should hand over your worries, problems and burdens to the Divine. Put your hands on to work, on what you can control and let God do the rest. Hand it over, The thing is, the Divinity wants you to, not put your energies, focus, power in the wrong things. Some things have to end from your life, for actually better things that would be surprising to you will come. Don’t attach yourslef, mainly is out of fear or unawareness of the wonders of the universe. Do not force, let thing run its course, and count on the Divine to help you out, ask God and your angels for an easy path, for the solution, for them to guide you in ease and out of stress. The Divine wants you to start living your soul’s path, and not to focus elsewhere, things that may seem shiny are actually a void, there are other paths that are more aligned to our soul’s nature, abilities and evolution. You are called to go to a temple, you could also create one, or make your house/room a little temple. You are also called to nurture your human vessel, both physical and spiritually and actually embrace this term of Vessel to know more about what it means and might represents for you.
~~~~~ 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 ~~~~~
Thank you for reading! Remember, take what resonates, leave the rest. Lots of blessings ☁️🪽🌙🕊️
~~~~~ 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 ~~~~~
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tiamathh · 7 months ago
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What Sin do you Need?
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Note: Hi!! Repost of an Old PAC hope you enjoy, like/reblog and comment if you do~ take what resonates leave what doesn't and please don't steal my work! Also follow my 18+ readings acc @xoxotiamathh (no minors pls!)
Masterlist <3
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Pile 1: Greed
Strive for more, thirst for more, it may seem like greed is bad but a little bit never hurt anyone. You're limiting yourself a lot of the times because you refuse to let yourself want more. What's holding you back? Is it your past? Moving on from the past is important and will help you achieve the great heights you're meant to.
Be greedy for a better life, stand up for yourself and the life you want because if you don't start now than when will you? Greed isn't all about money and material objects, sometimes it's about oneself and what they want, what their ideal life is both socially and emotionally.
Pile 2: Gluttony
This might be a sensitive topic for some and I completely understand that so feel free to pick another pile and take care <3 TW// weight mention, ED, body shaming, starving, anorexia
Pile 2 I'll start off with this, I'm so so sorry if you've been through instances in your life where people have been rather unkind to you regarding your weight and looks, but please know they're all wrong. You don't need to starve yourself; you're doing so well just as you are. Instagram diets and diet suppressants are not what you or your body needs. You need proper nutrition, and healthy meals give you just that. I'm not telling you to be over indulgent of course not but keeping yourself from nutrition is doing more harm than good. For some of you, you've had run-ins with eating disorders, do what's good for your body, mind and soul, delicious food from different cultures will bring a lot of flavour, expand your palette. (Also, for some of you, stop being such picky eaters! Try new things!)
Take care pile 2 and stay safe <3
Pile 3: Sloth
GET REST PLEASE (sorry for screaming). Constantly working and burning the midnight oil and sleep, rest, take a pause. Inactivity isn't always laziness or negative sometimes you need to give yourself space to breathe and sit with your thoughts and feelings.
You're human after all, you need rest and relaxation to recharge. Or maybe you're running from something and distracting yourself by constantly working. You don't need to always work to prove your worth. Don't overwork yourself.
Pile 4: Wrath
Anger can be therapeutic, feel it. Anger can help you set boundaries, and establish your self-worth. A lot of people have probably hurt you before and taken advantage of your kindness, or calm demeanour but don't let them do that. Fearing conflict will not resolve anything, getting angry isn't bad especially when you have been wronged several times by the same people. We've always seen anger be a force for change, so use it in a way where you can change things about your life that you don't like and don't approve of.
Don't let people walk all over you, don't take the route of toxic positivity, your negative feelings are there to help you grow and are just as important for your overall development.
Pile 5: Envy
Have you guys heard of benign envy? I have, an exhausting amount to be honest and what I've learnt is it genuinely helps push you forward in life. It can often be bitter but it can lead you to work harder or be more determined towards achieving your goals. It can positively influence our attitudes towards life and help bring in good changes to your routine that will help you grow. And although it's said envy is rooted in low self- esteem, all that's needed is an abundance mindset to make it work in your favour. If you feel that pang of envy now and then that's not bad, use it as a driving force for to grow more in your own individualistic way because you may have been afraid to in the past. If you envy someone's style (this is coming through strongly) or their way of life, try to manifest and work hard towards making that your reality rather than wallowing in envy and self-pity.
Pile 6: Lust
Here I feel that lust is being talked about in terms of the self, not solely in a sexual manner but also in terms of desire. Pile 6, you need to understand that you are desirable and hot and stunning. If you feel sexual fantasies there's nothing wrong with that, it is a part of your human experience embrace it. There's nothing wrong or dirty about it, it helps you explore yourself more imo. You are sexy don't overindulge and sexualise yourself for others, external validation will not bring you the satisfaction you want, it needs to come from within.
Pile 7: Pride
Guys, pile 7, my loves, pride is not bad. Especially when it comes to the work you do, I feel like this is my artistic pile. Authentic pride is important to the integrity of your work, getting happy, feeling proud, getting satisfaction from an art piece or a written piece after putting in hours, days, weeks of effort should not make you feel guilty. Don't let people tell you that your head is too big or anything like that, it's not. Your pride will help you maintain your standards in everyday life, don't lower your standards for anything or anyone, you're too good for that. I would go as far as to say pride is one of the most important feelings/emotions but be careful to not let it turn into an inflated ego.
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All Rights Reserved tiamathh©® DO NOT PLAGIARISE, REWORD, STEAL!
P.S. this is one of my favourite PACs I've ever done 🩷
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drdemonprince · 2 years ago
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I think I may be autistic but I have no idea what to do with this information and I'm also kind of worried im trying to make myself fit into it if that makes sense? I have been diagnosed with ADHD officially, but I'm not sure, maybe I have both?
"Am I Autistic or Not" isn't really a helpful question. It's so big, and so abstract. Try asking yourself questions that are smaller and more concrete. Things like:
Which sensations are really difficult for me to handle? Do I experience sensory overloads? What can I do to reduce or prevent future sensory overloads?
Which sensations are really pleasurable for me? How can I incorporate more of those sensations into my life?
What activities or topics do I find very stimulating, thought-provoking, or exciting? How can I make more time in my life for pursuing those activities? Where can I meet other people who also enjoy those things?
Which aspects of socializing do I find hard? What do I find draining, uncomfortable, or confusing? Is there anyone I can ask for help understanding the things I find confusing? Are there social performances I can try doing less often, or less intensely?
Which activities seem to drain me more than other people, and how can I get the rest I need? Do I need far more recharge time after socializing than most people I know? Do organizational or administrative tasks like cleaning my house or answering emails take a lot of out me? Is there anyone I can ask for support, or any responsibilities I can let go of (or half ass)?
Finally, where do I feel at home? Which spaces make me feel comfortable? Which communities seem to get me? Who do I enjoy being around? Who brings out a playful, lighter, opener side of me? Where do I hate being and who do I dread being around? What do I need out of my home environment in order to feel at peace? How can I bring more of the positive into my life and reduce my contact with the negative?
Are you Autistic, Anon? -- my answer is, who cares? It doesn't matter. You don't ever have to answer that if you don't want to. Use whatever term you want, whenever it feels right. In the meantime, find the spaces, experiences, and people that help you feel less broken. That might include Autistic spaces, as well as other neurodivergent or queer ones. That's fine. Explore widely. Each one of us is a complex enough person that we can't be contained entirely by a single community, identity label, or space.
Private questions of identity matter very little if we aren't actually living out that identity in community with other people. Find the spaces, people, and activities that are good for you -- and if many of them are also very good for Autistic people, well then congrats, you're our kin, whether your choose to adopt the label or not.
Further reading:
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dronebiscuitbat · 2 months ago
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Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 102)
Welding while three days overdue in a pregnancy is hard Uzi realized.
The inside of the shuttle was warm enough that the wind and weather outside wasn't something to worry about, but the amount of strain the baby was putting on her internals was slowing her down heavily.
Even still… it was almost finished.
All that was left was the internals, the controls and the little bit of air they needed to cool their systems. And it would be ready.
And so right now she was putting in the cramped recharge pods that would be the bulk of the inside, small little upright beds that filled the function of a place to rest and…not much else.
When space is at a premium, it would have to do.
Khan was working on the airlock, big, steel hydrologic doors. His expertise. So they were nearly working side by side.
Uzi stretched upwards to reach the ceiling from the step ladder she was using,sealing up a messily managed cluster of wires within a tube of aluminum. And then doubled over in pain.
She made a wince and a squeak and held her expanded abdomen as a wave of pain shot through her.
Khan was on her in an instant, taking one of her hands in his own and helping her off the stepladder.
“Uzi! Are you alright? Is the baby-”
“N-no! No. Just uh… just them kicking me in the stomach. Ow…” She calmed him. “I almost wish…”
Khan still held her and made her sit in one of the incomplete charge pods, checking her over.
“I'm fine. Dad.” She almost laughed, but it turned into another wince as the baby proceeded to kick the shit out of her insides once more.
“Agh…”
“Maybe you should sit the rest of the construction out dronelette… you need rest.”
“What I need is to get this done. This was my plan and it needs to work and-” She struggles to get out of the pod, legs kicking our uselessly.
“And you have been every single day you have been able. It's just finishing touches, then we start packing what we can.”
Uzi crossed her arms in a huff.
“I don't wanna be useless.”
“No offense dronelette, but I think your body has more say about that then your mouth.” He smiles sheepishly, gesturing to the fact she couldn't even get out of a shallow pod by herself.
“Bite me.”
He laughed and helped her out of the pod, not letting go until both her feet were on the ground and she was steady on them.
“Where's N? Still on patrol?” He asks, hand still on her back.
“Yeah, he'll be out for awhile…”
“I gotcha.” He peered out the door, flagging down somebody.
“Nico! Can I borrow you for a minute?” He shouted, at the purple eyelighted door gaurd, who was deep in conversation with his partner.
“Aye sir!” He rushed over with a lopsided grin. Goggles bouncing on his head.
“Can you lead my daughter back to her apartment for me?” Khan asks, smiling happily at the young man.
“Dad! I can walk on my own!” Uzi protested, but it went in one ear and out the other.
“Sí Mr. Doorman.” Nico replied, getting into place at Uzi's side despite her indignant grumbles.
“Thank you, Varga.” Khan grinned, before heading back inside the ship. Nico and Uzi look at each other.
“After you senora?”
“I'm not that much older then you…” Uzi smirked, raising her eyebrow. And Nico just laughed.
“Hehe… I'm just being polite.” He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “You snapped at me for my manners once.”
“Huh?” Uzi wracked her brain. “Oh! Were you the same guy who was staring at Tera when she was a pillbaby?”
They began to walk, passing through the doors of the bunker.
“Guilty. Forgive me? Por favor? I was just surprised… you never struck me as someone who wanted kids, at least… at the time.” He grinned.
“I think I was just in a bad mood that day. I was getting lots of stares.” Uzi admitted, feeling a little self conscious.
“Lo siento, aren't you always in a bad mood?”
“Hey!” She snarled as they passed by several residential doors, before she deflated and smiled. “I guess you're not wrong.”
He laughed again. It sounded… familiar somehow.
“If dad's gonna have you tail me, I need to pick up my daughter from a freinds house before I head home.” She spoke, and at her words, his smile seemed to get a little pained.
“Of course. It's Tera right?” He asked, cocking his head. “How… is she?”
“Tera? You mean other then destroying everything soft she can get her fangs on? She's great, she's so energetic, she's a little hard to keep track of.”
He smiles, then looks confused. “Fangs?”
Uzi looks guilty, looking away from him.
“That's… my fault. My oil is… uh, effected by a condition…” She shows him a flash of her own fangs. “And I didn't realize it was contagious that way until it was too late.’
Nico furrows his brow, Uzi mistakes his concern for judgement. “It doesn't seem to effect her negatively! She's happy and healthy, it's just… she'll look different, is all.”
Nico nods once. “I wasn't judging.”
“So long as she is happy, I don't think anyone will judge. You took her in when… no one else wanted to, or could.”
“If no one has thanked you yet. Let me be the first.” He smiles, for once it seems to go up to his visor. “Gracias, Miss Doorman.”
“Uh… you're welcome?” She returns a confused smile as they stop in front of a door that reads “von Roth”.
Nico nods again before coughing and pulling out a little military canteen, taking a swig of it.
Uzi looks at him curiously.
“Ah, software issue… I go through coolant like my abuelo did battery acid! Hehe.”
Uzi nods, satisfied with his answer before knocking on the door with three quick raps.
A drone with light blue eyelights answers the door with a beaming smile. “Oh! Mrs Doorman! You're here to pick up Tera yes?” His accent is slightly Italian, and he smells slightly of fermented oil.
“That's right.”
“I'm Jason! Nice to meet ya!” He shakes her hand firmly. “My Flower’s getting her now. What a good kid you have, treats my daughter like a princess!”
“Uh, thank you Jason.” Uzi says awkwardly.
Delilah pops her head put under his arm, and he chuckles before moving out of the way for her.
“Hi Uzi! Here she is!”
Tera is handed to her… with a big fat purple bow tied up in her hair and forced into a little grey dress.
She looks defeated. Looking up at her mother with eyes that pray ‘please help me.’
“Oh God! What happened to you!?” Uzi smiled, incredibly amused at Tera's deadpan expression.
“Dress up.” Tera answers, as Delilah squeals.
“Look how adorable she looks! Though it was a lot of effort to get her in that dress…” She shows off the tiny scratches on her hands.
considering that Tera resisted being dressed in anything. The fact the Delilah was not in worse shape was astonishing.
“I'd say… Thank you for watching her.”
“Oh, no problem! She's a sweetheart, any time you need!” Delilah answers, before her husband pulls her into a little head nuzzle.
“Absolutely! Kiara needs more freinds like her!” He waves as Nico and Uzi move off, Tera crossing her arms in indignation.
“Not a fan of the dress chica?” Nico asks with an amused look.
“No.” Tera answers, shaking her head and pouting in her mother's arms. It's not until she does the toddler equivalent of a double take that she notices him and stares, cocking her head.
“Heh, Heya kiddo.” He smiles, face soft. Uzi raises a brow.
“Hi! Like you!” She says immediately, beginning to vibrate. “Name?”
“Ah. Nico.” He replies.
“Hi Nico!” She replies back, grinning visor seam to visor seam. Forgetting for a moment all about her distaste for the dress she was in.
But… too quickly, Uzi was at her door, and it was time to say goodbye.
“Thanks for walking with me. It was nice, even if my dad made you.”
“Don't mention it. You both take care, sí?” He cocked his head.
“Bye Nico!” Tera hollered, waving with all her might. And then; “Adiós!”
Uzi blinked. “Where did you learn-”
Nico was gone very, very quickly.
Who knew languages were inheritable?
Next ->
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andy-wm · 8 months ago
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Do you think Jikook took a break from each other last year? What do you think was going on?
Hey Anon, i know you asked this a couple months ago. Sorry that i took a long while to answer ... i thought about it a lot. Not because I was thinking about if they took a break, but because i was questioning what would prompt a person to think they did.
Maybe you didn't see all the things i saw?
If you did see it all, maybe you're more sceptical than i am?
I wondered if maybe I am too much of a romantic, or if i was seeing things that aren't there.
Did I read too much into all those livestreams JK did to hype Jimin when he was promoting FACE last year? All the times he watched the promos with ARMY and then watched the youtube compilation of BTS teasing Jimin, and then sang Jimin's songs.
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Was i too taken in by the comments back and forth on Weverse last year when Jimin was recording his music shows, or the fact that Jimin went live in the car on the way home from Inkigayo and spent the entire trip chatting to JK as though ARMY wasn't there.
Did I misconstrue the fact that Jimin and Jungkook made TWO trips overseas together last year without any apparent reason. (Yes there are rumours about a camping trip and other content but that seems like an excuse rather than a reason )
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Did i misunderstand JK's visit to Jimin's dance practice, or the glum comments jimin made in his live about JK working too hard, or the fond way JK spoke about Jimin on Suchwita?
Did i see too much significance in JK begging Jimin to do a livestream with him while naked, in bed, and flexing his biceps shamelessly?
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Did i place too much emphasis on the fact the JK sang backing vocals for Jimin's hidden track on his album, in a song that was very clearly a love song for ARMY.
Did i overestimate the importance of the half naked photo of the two of them that Jimin posted for Jungkook’s birthday?
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Did i misunderstand what made JK come directly from his workout to join Jimin’s Production Diary viewing, or that JK was completely prepared to sit there next to Jimin if he was needed (or to leave if he wasn't).
Did i get carried away by the idea of them spending Chuseok together on a yacht?
Did i jump to conclusions about them enlisting in the military as companions and taking a post in one of the most inhospitable and dangerous units just so they could be together?
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To be objective, and because I'm the first to admit that we honestly dont know what they do when there's no camera around, i will say maybe they did have a break. It's entirely possible they spent a few days apart. Maybe even a week?
All couples need time apart. All people need personal space and the opportunity to be alone with their thoughts.
It's part of having your own identity.
It's heathy to have time to rest and recharge no matter how much you love someone.
Don't ever be afraid of having your own space, and time to yourself, anon! It will make the time you spend with your partner even more rewarding 💜
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just-a-ghost00 · 4 months ago
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No contact : what the heck is going on?
Pick one or several of the following emojis to find out about your reading content. This reading is going to be a bit unusual because the deck I am using is actually a game for children. A card represents a word or an idea. There is just the image. No words, no numbers. So based on the image combinations you get, I will try to channel the messages meant for you to hear.
1 📣 2 🎰 3💥 4💫
Group 1 📣
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The person you were thinking of may have put a hold on the connection to take care of themselves. They are currently traveling or they intend to. They need to recharge their batteries. This person has been giving a lot of their time and efforts to make other people happy. They are exhausted. They wish to rest and indulge in some leisure time. They wish they could stop being a door mat for everyone to walk on. They feel like they can’t express their true self. They are tired of pretending like everything is fine. They feel like they can’t afford rest. When it comes to you and the connection, this person gets cold feet. They don’t know what to do or where to go. What is going on around them takes so much space in their life that they don’t have much energy left to spend with you. To them you are like that pot of jelly or that warm chocolate bowl : so sweet and tempting, so vital. You bring them comfort and a sense of home but at the same time they are scared of what that means. They are running out of gas. They may be Dre pressed or going through a burn out. Hence the lack of communication. They are trying to get back on track by stepping away for a time. They don’t want you to see that side of them.
Group 2 🎰
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The person you were thinking of could be an artist and/or enjoys partying. This person could have recently been on a trip. The reason why there is no contact at the moment is because they are either sick and/or injured. If not, this person needed to heal something or someone. With the chick and the trumpet player, I get the message of someone being a bit vulnerable but wanting to show no weakness and appear stronger. The chick also reminds me of communicating. Because birds always chirp, this makes me think of throat chakra. With the hospital, I get the idea of someone have throat ache or issues related to their voice. They may have needed to take time off to undergo a surgery or to get a medical appointment. With the car and the horse, I get the idea of someone being restless. Wanting to get away from this situation quickly and get back to business. I also get the energy of someone being reckless. Maybe this person got injured practicing a physical activity. The combination of the matching game, the guitar and the necklace, I get the message of someone wanting to connect the dots and get closer to what is meaningful to them. Music is precious to this person and so are you. If they can’t communicate with you properly, this person will use music to convey their feelings.
Group 3 💥
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Seeing the butter card I immediately thought of BTS lmao Once again there are music references in a reading. Also, either one or both of you may be French, wants to go to or has been in France. To be honest with you, there is a lot of chemistry and sexual tension going on. This person is refraining from contacting you in an attempt to resist temptation. That ain’t working well lmao Cause they are running in circles and really wanting to jump on the first occasion they get to interact with you. You might invite this person for your birthday or they are waiting for your birthday to surprise you with something. The combination of the cherries and the lace gives me really sensual vibes. They may want to get closer to you and the way they do it may be a bit rough 😂 With the firefighter and the lit birthday cake, I feel like they wish they weren’t so attracted to you. They wish they could extinguish whatever is going on because it eats them alive. The last card on the bottom right makes me think that you or this person could be working with children or wants children. This person is attracted to your soft side and your childlike personality which may be something you have in common. The fox makes me think that they are prying on you frequently. Even if they don’t talk to you, they closely watch you.
Group 4💫
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The person you are thinking of lives at a distance from you. This person is afraid of falling in love and being intimate with you. A part of them wants to make a move but another would rather safely hide away. They wish that they were more courageous and that this connection would be more fruitful. They are aware of your needs for communication and more substance. If they could, they would run straight to you. But there are annoying flies surrounding the connection. Meaning, people are getting in the way, buzzing in their ear about what they should or shouldn’t do, about what they think of you. This person misses you. They think of you. They know your plate is missing on the table. They feel empty without you around. But in order to see clearly and cut the noise, they had to get away. This person needs to isolate in order to determine what their needs are and listen to their own voice instead of the constant buzzing and chirping of others. They need to determine in this cacophony of opinions, what is essential to them. Only then can they make a move.
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itoshiexx · 1 year ago
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the garden of your heart
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you are now reading... LENA'S 1K MILESTONE EVENT FIC!
↳ isagi yoichi + nepenthe (n.) - something that can make you forget grief or suffering
synopsis: when the weight of loss threatens to crush your bones, isagi yoichi becomes the solace you need.
notes: hi guys. i wasn't planning on posting this so soon, but then again, i wasn't planning on my dog dying and experiencing grief first hand either, so this flowed out of me as a form of comfort. thank you for requesting @popponn, love you dear <3
event masterlist
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grief came in a wavelength of darkness; one that covered every seam and corner of your skin until it swallowed you whole. grief carved its way deep into your heart, leaving behind a hole that burned every time your chest expanded to try to breathe. grief had an iron grip on the base of your throat, choking down the words of disbelief and the acute sorrow of your cries that insisted on keep coming out, despite the irritation on the skin of your eyes. 
grief, you thought, was kind of like facing death one on one, shivering upon its wicked smile, watching helplessly as it takes away something you cherish and treasure with all your heart.
“baby, have you eaten yet?”
you can barely register the words coming out of yoichi’s mouth, too engrossed in staring at the white ceiling and reliving the last 24 hours on an endless, torturous loop. you try to blink away the images of your loved one dead, but they keep coming and opening the dam that releases your infinite tears. you’ve lost count on how many of them you have already shed.
(it seems like it could fill the pacific ocean).
“baby?” he tries again, gently poking your body. with great strength, you manage to look at him. 
grief took away the sparkle of life in your orbs, almost as if you were the one who passed — because, in reality, a part of you did die with them. grief made you feel incomplete, sensing an emptiness that was never there before, but that would perpetually be from then on.
yoichi smiles, and it feels like a beam of light on your little dark bubble. 
“there you are. my pretty baby.” he runs his fingers through your hair, trying to soothe the fresh wounds of your soul, even for just a moment. “what would you like to eat? i’ll cook for you.”
you feel the tears once again prickle your lash line, but you fight the quiver of your lips and the cement block lodged in your throat. “i’m… ’m not hungry.”
grief made you lose your appetite. it made you lose a lot of things.
(ironic, considering it all began from loss itself).
your boyfriend frowns, “you know you need to eat, honey. at least a little bit.”
guilt starts gathering in your guts. you don’t want to worry your boyfriend — your sweet, kind boyfriend who is always by your side — because what if you lose him too? what would you do with another hole in your life, in your heart? how could you bear the weight of another loss without letting grief take over you completely?
“hey, hey… don’t cry, pretty. i’m sorry,” yoichi is quick to say, turning until he’s face to face with you. he sits on the edge of the couch and brings your face to his warm chest, drawing circular motions on your back to try and calm you down.
you didn’t even realize when you started crying again, but you let it flow. although everything in the world seems fragile and scary, you know you can always count on isagi to be your safe space. 
because your lover’s heart is like a garden — a place where the birds chirp and the flowers continuously bloom, even when they are faced with drought. a spot where the breeze gently blows your hair and kisses your wounds, no matter how deep they are. a space where you can rest and recharge, allowing yourself to be vulnerable. 
(you don’t have to be strong all the time).
yoichi’s heart is the one slot of the whole universe where you know you can find peace from your worst nightmares. 
“what do you want me to do, pretty? how can i help you feel better?” he asks, voice slightly shaken with concern. it makes your heart swell, and maybe, just maybe, you think you can be alright. 
“just hold me,” you murmur. 
because it’s love that fills the holes and makes you forget grief. even if it’s just for a little while.
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© 2024 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.
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iknowwhereiare · 6 months ago
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my sarentu oc! this took a bit to make but I'm glad how it came out + my ideas
more details and in-game pics under the cut!
Their name is Koto! Originally I wanted an 'a' name to match Aha'ri's, but I couldn't find one that I liked and by then Koto had already stuck.
They're intersex (that's how I interpret their gender, as canonically everyone in game uses they/them and gender neutral terms for them.) and they don't really mind what they wear as long as it's practical.
They're auDHD because I am, but I also like to think that's why they had lots of trouble performing well in TAP. They weren't really bad, but they didn't outshine anyone either. When Aha'ri passed, they did even worse and often had shutdowns and spaced out in class.
Bad memories at TAP has effected their life in major ways, such as confidence issues, hating guns and the taste of RDA rations, and their quiet and lonesome personality. They enjoy being around other Na'vi, of course, but often seek quiet places to rest and recharge as not to overwhelm/overstimulate themself.
They are close with their ikran, Telisi, and when they are apart Telisi is usually not far away. They love flying with her, feeding her, petting her, enjoying scenic views, and chasing and shooting down RDA helicopters with her. While Koto lends a ear to those who need it, Telisi gets all the words that they reserve from other people. Their relationship with Telisi grants them a kind of freedom they've never felt before.
Due to that quest for freedom, the plains are Koto's favorite area in the Western Frontier. They love the openness of the area and often ride on direhorseback just to be up close to the beauty before them. If Koto wasn't Sarentu, they would probably live with the Zeswa permanently.
Koto likes making friends, and their closest are So'lek, Nor, Etuwa, Ri'nela, Teylan, and Okul (not in any order), but other Na'vi they are close to are Kín, Nefika, Anufi, Minang and Nesim. Humans that they're close to is Alma (at the beginning of the story; their relationship is very rocky at the end), Priya, Anqa, and Jin-young. They have many people they consider friends but these are the people they're closest to.
They are a very efficient fighter and warrior, but they usually try to rely on stealth at first when encountering an enemy alone. The exception is when they fight alongside Telisi, which they are then very noticeable and very brutal.
Koto has a preference for Na'vi made armor and weapons and never really uses gun or human armor (unless it's something like a headband or foot cover or a mod) and will usually do anything to avoid using human items. They do see the value of human items (and they use SID alot) but just prefer Na'vi items due to bad memories.
This post is already long enough so I'll cut it here for now LOL. Maybe in the future I'll go more indepth with the relationships with their friends and enemies!
(Here's what they look like in-game as of right now! ^-^)
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fishnapple · 10 months ago
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CRYSTAL READING: Describing your inner home
If your inner heart can be shown as a house, a place, how would it look like ?
Imagine the residents (the various aspects of yourself) staying there.
This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.
Feedback is much appreciated ❤️
Masterpost
Buy me a drink or book a reading with me - KO-FI (Read this post : personal reading)
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1. Aventurine
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There are no grand or unusual edges to this house.
The interior is sparse.
It lacks warmth and sunlight.
Like a house in the middle of windy weather lacking regular visits from its residents.
There is no big, loud front door to invite others in.
The residents here would be quite aggressive and masculine. There could be a boy, an older man, someone of authority, but something feels old and tired.
Your inner home stores lots of hidden angers, disappointment, and wounded emotions. And they may not even yours. Some are from others living rent-free in your inner home. They would sometimes try to send you messages to let them free but not too successful.
There is a thick veil shrouding this home, creating confusion.
Some innovation is needed. Light up the house, open the windows, and let the cold and distant thoughts have a walk outside. Maybe some will walk away for good, leaving behind space for a warmer, livelier one.
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2. Rose quartz
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I see a big mansion or a castle ruled by a feminine figure. A queen, but there seems to be no king.
Only the soldiers and the court messengers are male.
The place is hectic, people are scurrying around, talking, gossiping. Lots of music and beauty.
Foreign messengers or traders would come and go.
There is a certain fairytale air about this place. The place would change seasonally, periodically under the influence of the current moon phase.
People here are well behaved because they know that their ruler, even though benevolent and sometimes quite detached, is still strict.
I could see that a big feminine force has a lot of influence on your inner world, giving you structure. You may sometimes do things a certain way just because you want to please that force. This queen in your inner home may be the manifestation of an authority figure in your life or a representation of a power inside you.
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3. Citrine
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This place is literally the centre of yourself.
Everything that ever been born, created, and manifested comes from this place.
This is the centre of wisdom, the sanctuary for tired travellers, the convergent point for spirits, the portal of giving and receiving.
It is vibrant, solid, intimate, and mysterious. Like a temple or monastery high up on a mountain.
Here, you could recharge yourself and receive messages from the universe, from the ancestors, from distant teachers.
The residents living here are the wise ones. They have come here to give you precious lessons, so listening to them would be quite beneficial.
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Love.
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cozzzynook · 4 months ago
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Rodimus being really stressed and not taking care of himself because he has so much going on. His spark flutters get so bad that he ends up having a seizure.
- rodimus over works himself because he gave his high command holiday leave to enjoy it with their conjunxs and he stayed because he doesn’t have a conjunx or partner. He doesn’t even have a frag partner this time around because contrary to belief he does not want to take advantage of his crew or start sleeping around on his ship. He’s not that irresponsible.
- He takes on their paperwork and has their shifts covered. He can’t get Minimus or Megs shift covered by anyone so he just does it himself. Its fine at first but all the caffeinated oil on the ship can’t keep him awake for all the hours needed to help him focus on paperwork. Not to mention he needs more recharge than the average speedster. His spark can’t handle too much caffeine oil either so he’s stuck with a tired spark and dulling frame as he does constant paperwork, long ongoing shifts and gets little less than five hours recharge.
- the cycle repeats for a solid month while high command is away. First aid is about ready to throttle Rodimus to make him get some recharge when Rodimus falls out during his shift and ends up having a seizure right there in the halls.
- rodimus missed too many doses of his spark medication and the over consumption of caffeine oil made his spark beat far more erratics than usual.
- Rodimus is put on berth rest and left in the medbay for optic supervision since he hasn’t been taking care of himself.
- When the others in high command come back, Roddy is still on berth rest and in the medbay in a deep, much needed recharge.
- Drift is not pleased Rodimus hasn’t been taking care of himself nor is Ratchet who wants to take over but First aid won’t let him.
- “he’s my stubborn patient,” and First aid promptly kicks them out but relents to Minimus and Megatron joining the space but only for a brief time.
- the seizure took quite a lot out of Rodimus who had to do speech therapy to strengthen his vocal cords and internal speech modules.
- he also had to get a new med panel for his spark.
- he doesn’t get released from the medbay any time soon and when he does he has to agree to let someone stay with him because he’ll need it. Rodimus out right refuses that.
- thankfully a little visit, forced acceptance, from Cyclonus, Whirl and Tailgate changes him processor and he’s staying with the three in their large hab until he finishes recovering.
- Drift is not happy Rodimus refused to stay with himself and Ratchet and Minimus and Megatron feel the same way.
The only thing Rodimus can say that won’t hurt their feelings is, “I don’t want to sleep in the same hab as a conjunx pair. I don’t need to hear you guys going at it.”
He resorted to saying that after, “I don’t want to intrude,” didn’t work.
Both were true.
But he really, really, really, didn’t want to lay in berth or watch them be in love when he once was in love with them. How he was alone and had no one.
The thing with Whirl, Cyclonus and Tailgate is that he didn’t have old feelings for them. They truly have only been friends and still are. So its a lot easier staying with them instead. He still doesn’t want to intrude but he can’t argue with Cyclonus carrying him bridal style into their room and Whirl threatening to poison him until he’s fully recovered.
“No more over working yourself Captain. There are still bots aboard that want you here.”
Cyclonus words are something only himself and his two partners truly know the meaning of and he has to hide his em field and optics while others are passing them by. The purple mech knows his appreciation and he whispers as much in that moment.
Rodimus doesn’t overwork or over stress himself after that but he does have a new appreciation for the trio.
When they land on a planet with bots and one comes up to him and kisses his servo, he doesn’t push the large femme away.
Instead, he smiles.
And hopes the future will be brighter.
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edenfenixblogs · 10 months ago
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Blog Housekeeping:
Gonna take the rest of the week off from high-effort posting and analysis. Just to recharge.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. And I need to take my own advice so I can finish this instead of burning out.
A lot of things have been upsetting to me this past week. A lot of hypocrisy from so-called activists. A lot of Jewish spaces being so flooded with antisemitism that I can’t even find Jews in them. I just need a rest.
I looked up “olive tree” on this site just for reference pix of so I could draw an olive tree. And instead I was flooded with propaganda about how Jews can’t be indigenous to Israel because of we cared so much about our land we wouldn’t destroy so many olive trees. And how important olive trees are to Palestinians. And yes. I absolutely 100% believe that Palestinians value olive trees. I believe Palestinians when they say that they value all the things they say they value.
What upsets me is that I can’t even search a symbol that is also very connected to Judaism and peace and my indigeneity without my culture being vilified and my indigeneity denied and encountering a disrespectful level of ignorance about the core values of Judaism.
Like… imagine telling JEWS we are evil for not caring enough about trees. 33% of our religion is about trees!!!!! Specific trees too! Including olive trees! I deserve to look up pictures of olive trees and be able to find a nice picture of an olive tree.
I’m not saying that nobody should post about the destruction of olive trees in Palestine. But why can’t I find any posts with olive trees that are just about the trees? Why is this symbol of peace across multiple religions and cultures being used AGAINST Jews worldwide just because of the actions of a country halfway around the world? And why do I feel like saying the truth that “Jews love trees, but not more than human life” will be a stance that gets me called evil and accused of devaluing Palestinian life. I don’t. And never have. But my goodness. I just wanted to look at a tree. Idk. It just made me sad. It was just the latest instance of a long line of stuff that has made me weary lately. Fandoms, nature pictures, everything I enjoy is just soaked in politicization rn and there is no escape. And I just…it’s overwhelming. I’ll be back and I’ll be analytical and kind and the same as I’ve always been. But I need a week to recharge myself.
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karlachismylife · 3 months ago
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People Are Strange
Yup, a surprise drop from me instead of any of the things I promised. Honestly, I just fell into a weird state today and very much was missing the state and things I'm describing here, so I just wrote some extremely self-indulgent blatant self-insert thing I doubt anyone will enjoy. Yup, everything here, except the surprise guest part, is how I sometimes spend time, and the paintings are actually my real paintings too. Welcome to the mind of Juju, I guess, lol.
So yeah, sorry, I'm hoping this will shake me out of today's stupor and let me do the things I actually should. And maybe someone will like it, I dunno.
CW: afab!reader, smoking (a lot of it), alcohol mentioned, clearly unhealthy behavior and habits, altered state of mind, unsafe behavior (please don't let strangers into your home at night). Reader is a painting hippie-adjacent weirdo (hello). Basically no plot. Probably OOC Ghost. Or not. He's also a weirdo, you know.
(Title from a song by The Doors, but it's this track by Ren I've been listening to this whole time, recommended to listen while reading)
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There was a certain irony in the fact that it was the evening you spent blasting The Doors in your lonely apartment that your door got knocked on.
You weren't expecting anyone, self-inflicted isolation has already spiraled to the point where everyone knew to leave you be until another episode passes. All the friends that tried to get ahold of you, were left with unread messages, unanswered calls and your neighbours' reassurance that you were still live and going out to buy groceries - stacks of cigarette packs, the same brand of beer and random assortment of both proper food and unhealthy snacks.
You were fine. You just needed a pause, a break to get recharged in that suspended state outside normal world. Forget about the clocks and proper routine, submerge yourself into nowhere and nowhen, take time to allow yourself some doubt whether or not you even existed.
And paint. You also wanted to paint.
Waking up late past noon, spending time just laying on the parquet board of your floor, eating leftovers and chasing yourself into that limbo by the time darkness fell over the city, you disappeared from here and now every night for already two weeks. World stopped being real, cigarette smoke filled the room in an infinite chain of drags, coiling in a prophetic dance under your slightly yellowish lamps, music warped your sense of space, until you finally dissosiated with that excited tingling in the tips of your fingers holding a brush in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Sounds and objects turned unrecognizable, carrying you through the ever-new and exciting inside-out of the universe.
So it took you some time to finally gather that it was knocking on your door that you heard - you were so far away from Earth, mix of reds, oranges and pinks gliding over your wet canvas, that you forgot even to get scared by someone knocking, quite insistently, into your apartment at one past midnight.
Not that you even remotely knew what time it was.
Still delayed in your reactions, you finally put the butt of your snuffed out cigarette into the overflowing ashtray - the mountain of ash with butts sticking out of it reminded you of that little chemistry trick with ammonium dichromate, and then got up. Once you opened the door of your bedroom, you almost sobered up from your hazed state, much cooler and clearer air of the rest of the apartment hitting your cheeks and exposed shoulders - you didn't even realize how much your train smoking fogged the room and dimmed the light there. The lack sounds in lifeless, yet still lit with all the lamps, rooms, also made you feel like the world got muffled. Must've been all the music you've been listening to for hours.
Or maybe you were still somewhere partially outside your body, far, far away from that two-bedroom apartment with windows looking outside at their yellowish twins littering unevenly neighborly buildings.
Someone knocked again, finally startling you, and you padded barefoot to the door, unlocking it without peeking outside - you forgot.
You didn't know that large man standing outside your apartment, dressed in all black, matching up to the surgical mask on his face. You moved here a few months ago and were going out at normal hours before you had your little episode, and you have never seen him before. What could he even want?
A realisation dawned on you as he looked you over with a visible disappointment in his piercing eyes - was it your sirwal pants, your paint-stained skin exposed by a Ganesha tanktop, all the bracelets or the paint brush you wer still clutching in your hand, you weren't sure, but he looked like the kind of man to grunt "damn hippies" into your back with all the disdain he could find in himself. So the logical conclusion came quickly, despite your brain being slow and foggy, still stuck at the canvas you were engrossed in to the point of using your fingers to paint too.
"Music, yeah?"
He blinked at you, clearly cut off in the middle of his sentence - fuck, you didn't even register his voice, must've been on the wavelength you've already got numb to. But you still tried.
"Sorry, I didn't... my music's too loud? I can turn it down, sorry, I didn't realize-"
"No. I knocked not because of the music." You blinked now, too, the stinging in your eyes hinting that you haven't done that for some time. "I'm from the apartment across... you're new here?"
"Couple... three months, I think. Sorry, I've never seen you, is that Billy's apartment?" Maybe it wasn't. You were pretty sure it was, though, you met Billy once or twice, busy lad, but a nice one. His hoodie was the colour of beans and he looked much friendlier than the guy towering over you in front of your door.
"Aye, bloke's my landlord. Listen, love, I only knocked 'cause ya're the only one not asleep on the floor yet. Can I come in? Got locked out, just came back from work and bloody lock got jammed. Can't call anyone this late." He sighed again and you blinked very forcefully this time, raising your eyebrows to clear your vision and get another, real good look at the man.
He looked tired.
Somehow the more you looked at him, the softer his feautures got - all the hostility now revealing itself to be just plain human irritability and grumpiness from exhaustion. Deep shadows under his eyes - although there was just pure black smidged under his left one, so maybe he actually wasn't as sleep-deprived as he seemed. His posture was off, slouched shoulder that did nothing to make him look less hulking, weight shifted onto one foot to support a duffelbag on one shoulder. Nice boots, though, and keys with the familiar key to common door - so he actually did live here.
"You wanna sleep over?" Your disorganised self tried to do several things at once - ask a question like a normal person would and open the door to invite in a stranger like no normal person would - and almost got stuck in the middle, so you slurred your words and stopped before your door was open enough to let the broad guest inside.
To his credit, he only leaned forward, as if for a step, and then paused, blond eyebrows furrowing with suspicion.
"Ya drunk? High?" Watching him take a step back, you tried to think about his question. Were you? Probably not.
"No, jus' tired." That was easier to explain than the fact that you felt your head fill with fuzzy black dots and little spiky wheels running over the inside surface of your skull. "Come in. I have a spare bedroom."
He came in. Judging by the sound it hit your floor with, his bag was loaded - if you could spare a minute to think properly, you would realize it shouldn't be a surprise if he left for more than three months to avoid meeting you. Wiping your suddenly sweaty and greasy forehead, you tried remembering what is usually done when you have guest's over.
"So... you can leave shoes here... toilet's down this hall, the furthest door, bathroom's close-"
"Name's Simon."
For whatever reason, it was his name, thrown out there right when your playlist paused between Crystal Ship and Spanish Caravan, that made you finally snap back into your body. You felt the itch in your fingers where your brush handle dug into the skin, smelled the smokey aftertaste in the air left by you opening the door and letting that one and a half packs worth of smoke into the apartment, and felt cold in your bare arms. Even felt the hairs on your forearms rise protectively.
"Right. Nice to meet you, Simon. Sorry, I'm a little bit... distracted." Scratching your eyebrow, you named yourself and repeated the instructions about the shoes and hands washing - surprisingly, Simon did just as you said. Seeing him in the bathroom with half of the tiles decorated by those special markers was funny.
Too much glitter and unicorns for such brute of a man.
"So, uh, I wasn't actually going to sleep yet... I can turn off the music so you can rest... want some tea?"
Simon didn't answer straight away, hesitating between two towels, until you finally rushed to help him and shoved the one with Pinky Pie in his wet hands.
"Wouldn't mind a cuppa, love. And don't worry 'bout the music. 'M not gonna sleep either, jus' need a place to stay until I can call 'bout the damn lock. Jus' a few hours and I'm gone."
A few hours was exactly how much you had left in you, before you would sleepily fry your ritualistic veggies for a 6 am supper and collapse on the bed next to a new painting. Somewhat relieved that you didn't have to interrupt your hypnotizing background noise - even though the man himself was quite an interruption - you hummed and padded to the kitchen, finally placing the brush down on the sink edge to keep paint from staining your counter and putting the kettle on.
As you turned, another cigarette between your fingers by inertia, you finally got actually scared - dropped your lighter and everything, big hand reaching out to catch it inches above the floor with inhumane reflex.
"Oh fuck! Shit, sorry, you scared me, you- you're so quiet... thanks." With a trembling hand, you put your cigarette back into your mouth and let Simon light it for you. If your eyes weren't so full of pink from the painting you were doing, you would say his ears reddened a bit.
"Sorry. Jus' a habit," he offered with an awkward nape rub and checked the steadiness of your kitchen table before leaning his hip against it. Behind your back kettle finally started gurgling and bubbling. "Not gonna open a window?"
"Oh, you don't like the smoke? Sorry, I, uhm... well, shit, I kinda got whole apartment fumed..." His eyes smiled - and he chuckled. It was the friendliest sound he made so far, and you liked it. "What? I didn't expect anyone! I just don't wanna get distracted from what I'm doing every time I need a smoke."
"And I take it, you need it a lot, huh?" He chuckled again, and you rolled your eyes at him, turning away for a moment to shake the ash off into the sink. You weren't expecting him to say much more, but he suddenly asked: "Can I 'ave one, too? I mean, I've got mine. Jus' asking if you mind."
Having someone else be okay with smoking inside was nice. Granted, he was probably just using an opportunity since it wasn't his apartment, but your mind flashed with the times you had friend gatherings like that - gutar strings plucked for everyone sitting in a circle, bottles scattered conviniently and that same overflowing ashtray somewhere in the middle, dangerously close to the giant bowl of freshly fried chips.
"Yeah, sure, mate, just... let's go to my room first, I have my ashtray there. Lemme make the tea and I'll show you..."
"Not too hard of a guess which way to go, lass, but sure." Simon was a tease, you finally connected. Taking the piss, a joker. Sarcastic, just like someone you knew.
You missed them less and more now that he was here, disrupting your isolation. Got you completely sobered up by the time you sipped the tea to make sure it won't spill over the rim of the mug, but the thing was, you didn't mind. You passed Simon his mug, the one with "seven days without a pun makes one weak" - suited him well, you thought, and he clearly loved it judging by his chuckle - and grabbed your brush, clutching your cig in your teeth to make way to the bedroom.
Simon blinked as if all the colour and clutter hurt his eyes, when he entered, and then, after a quick scan of the room, locked in on your canvas.
"A real artist, huh?" His tone was surprisingly not mocking - not that you expected to be taken seriously by him. You weren't taken seriously even by yourself.
"No, not really. Just get in the mood sometimes." You showed him the ashtray buried under the hours of trash and took a fresh drag, desperately trying to get back into said mood.
Simon made it hard, though.
"Right. Quite the gallery for "not really" an artist," he circled the room, generally pointing out all the other canvases. Or maybe all the colourful junk in general. "Making a series or somthin'?"
You glanced at the wall he nodded at. Two more pieces with hands imagery. He was right.
"A triptych. Didn't take you for an art person." He cuckled again, as if you made a funny joke, and shook his buzzed head, tapping his cigarette over the mountain Ash.
"'M not. But ya ain't making it hard to guess." While he wandered around your cluttered room, you sat back down at the easel and looked at the rough silouettes of holding hands in the top third of the canvas, trying to rememeber what feeling was strangling your mind to the point of pleasant asphyxia while you were painting them. "And this one?"
Unhappy girl started playing and you caught the irony. A lot of irony tonight, too much for normal world - that's why you felt so safe: you were still not in the real human world where bad things happened to reckless people.
"That's a self-portrait." You grinned as Simon made a point out of looking between you and th big canvas.
"Sorry if that's offensive, but that don't look like ya, love."
"That's cuz it's a self-portrait of how I'm often feeling. Maybe I am a lil' bit of an artist, see, metaphors and shit."
He laughed. You liked that a lot, too. Something started coating your brain in a muffling blanket, and you left your tea mug and cig, picking up the brush again.
"Hands a metaphor too, then?" He finally sat down, on your bed, right where he could watch you paint. You've never been watched, especially while painting, baring your incompetence, chaotic thought flow and emotions.
Your self-portrait was frozen in a constant agony of screaming, overflowing with all feelings at once. If you didn't dissosiate while painting, you would scream in the process too.
"Yeah, hands are a metaphor too," your voice didn't sound right. For some reason, you imagined what you looked like from Simon's point of view from behind.
Like that Johannes Gumpp's painting of himself painting himself from a mirror reflection.
"Of what? World peace?" Simon grunted somewhere behind you, shifting and rustling with something on your bed. Cleared some space for himself among the herd of your stuffed animals? Propped himself on your pillow, still in his street clothes and with a cigarette clutched in a big ungloved hand?
A diturbing feeling of a French stop motion short film enveloped you starting from your forehead, artistic unease of standing on the border of something normal people can't even comprehend. You watched your hand move across the canvas, adding colour intuitively, making judgements on light and shadow intuitively, no training and theory behind your hypnotized movements.
"No... it's a story about coming out of a dark place. I called the triptych "Exit"," you paused, words slurring again as your thoughts slowly choked in the grip of the process and the thrill of having someone witness the birth of your last piece.
Someone who just shifted you back into the right headspace despite being the last person you could imagine doing it.
"It's three steps I'm taking to get out of a bad place in my head. The first piece is To Be." Simon grunted, leaning slightly to the side to glance at the darkest of the paintings. "Cuz that's enough for a start, you know? Just being."
Dipping your brush in bright yellow, you left a stain on the dry skin of one of the hands you were painting. Simon didn't say a word, but you felt that he listened.
"The second one's To Create. Because creating is the opposite of destruction."
There was another pause in the playlist and you lowered your brush, not noticing that the yellow somehow found its way onto your own hand - and now pants too.
Silence lasted probably a million years back at the Earth while you just sat there with your guest. Then the bed creaked, a lighter clicked and a blow of smoke flew over your shoulder, looming form casting a shadow over your bright colours - not a single black spot on this last, third piece.
"And this one?" Simon's voice rumbled right above your ear. You took the cigarette from his hand, slowly, underwater movements and phantom brush of dry lips with an ugly scar on your throbbing in an airless bedroom temple.
"And this one is..." you blinked, a clear thought that he knows hitting the roof of your skull like a suddenly thrown tennis ball. "This one is To Love."
You were still only on your second step, deep into creation. But maybe Simon knocked on your door tonigt to remind you you'll have to move onto the third one soon.
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