#and i do have like. physical/psychological issues that make me tired so

[sah-crescentmoon]

Short story under cut. The short story ended up being 1,800+ words long. And this story is a bit dark (it’s not the worst thing at all. It’s just sad really).

Understanding:

Iseul was becoming increasingly worried about one hedgehog, Dalnim. She had seen a lot of the new recruits improve a lot in recent times, but Dalnim was falling behind a lot. She knows that there can be any factors into why, but it still irked her. Iseul wanted to know what was going on. She tried asking the other hedgehogs who perhaps came from the same village as him. But no one had much information on him. And those who did know were reluctant to talk about him. Iseul wondered what her sister would do if she was in this position.

“Iseul, you want to talk about it?” Danbi asked. Iseul wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “Come on, please? It’ll make you feel better.” Iseul gave her older sister a side eye, but Danbi was not fazed by it. Iseul later spoke to her sister on how she felt that the other kids were being mean to her. Danbi listened to her little sister. “You should try talking to them. You can’t assume things about others without trying to find out anything,” Danbi whispered and hugged her. Iseul nodded.

That’s it! If no one will talk to her about him, then maybe she can just talk to him! One problem though, Dalnim was too quiet. Even quieter than her. He often did anything to avoid talking to others even during teamwork activities. Would he even be open to talking to her about what is bothering him? Iseul knew that she would never know until she tried it. With some newfound determination, she left the room to look for that hedgehog.

“Dalnim.” Dalnim jumped and turned to look at her. He held his hands around his chest. Iseul immediately took note of his eyebags. Another thing to add to the list of her concerns about him. Dalnim blinked. Iseul cleared her throat. That’s right, he’s waiting for her to talk. “I need to speak to you about your performance. You and I know that it isn’t the best. I wonder if the issue is more psychological than physical.” Dalnim remained quiet. But even with his tired eyes, Iseul could tell he was a bit shocked. So, it was more psychological. She grabbed him and walked. They needed fresh air.

Iseul and Dalnim now were at a meadow away from base. The wind lightly blew, and the sun shined strongly. Iseul hated clear skies, but she knew she had something more important to deal with. She turned to look at him. Dalnim seemed to be refreshed with the new environment.

“Dalnim, can you tell me why you are not sleeping? Your eyebags are pretty noticeable,” Iseul asked. She wanted to get right to the core of the problem. However, she felt off about it. She never actually spoke to Danbi until they got to know one another. So, she knew she can’t be too direct.

“I-I’m just having trouble sleeping,” Dalnim whispered. He placed his hand around his chest. Is this a nervous response of his? Iseul blinked. She wasn’t expecting him to actually respond. And she did not believe what he said. He was very skittish. She narrowed her eyes. Dalnim seemed to be even more nervous. Before Iseul could call him out, he spoke. “Nightmares.”

“Huh? Nightmares? What kind?” Iseul asked. Dalnim looked at her but looked away. Iseul took the hint. “H-Have you tried to talk to someone about it? How about your sister?” Iseul asked. She had learned earlier on that Dalnim had an elder sister like her. Dalnim shook his head intensely. Why was he overreacting?

“I can’t talk to her. We… are not on speaking terms,” Dalnim responded. Iseul was a bit annoyed. How are you not on speaking terms? Doesn’t Dalnim understand how precious family is? Iseul would do anything to be able to hear her sister speaking nonstop about plants again. Dalnim seemed to have noticed this. But he did not say anything as if he was waiting for her to speak.

“Why? Having a family is a blessing. I should know,” Iseul said. There was no need to get into her past with him. Dalnim looked troubled and looked her in the eyes.

“Not all families are good. Not all siblings are good.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Do you know how many families wish to have their relatives back? Wouldn’t your parents be ashamed of this?” Iseul snapped. Deep inside, she knew that Dalnim was right. She just didn’t want to believe it. Dalnim smiled, but it was somewhat unsettling. It was pissing her off. However, that smile dropped.

“My parents are dead. My father died in battle. And I am the reason my mother is dead,” Dalnim said. He sighed. “My sister made sure to let me know that I killed my mother.” Iseul was getting more confused. What was he going on about? How was he responsible for his mother’s death?

“Can you please tell me everything?” Dalnim nodded.

“As long as you don’t tell anyone about this.”

The wind howled; the leaves rustled along with it. The pouring rain drenched at the siblings who stood in front of each other, staring in silence. With the crack of a lightning, it sparked the ever-growing tension into an argument.

Noeul stomped closer to Dalnim, who could only step backwards away from his older sister. His action seemed to anger his sister even more as she grabbed his shirt.

"You coward. How can you be afraid of your own sister!" She shouted. Dalnim could only stare at her. His eyes watering, to which he thanked the ran for hiding this fact. "You've always been like this. A pathetic coward who's pretending to be this so-called pacifist. You're nothing, but a naive brat who is too stubborn to look at the truth straight on!"

Dalnim took a deep breath in. "I'm naive? M-Maybe I am, but at least I am brave enough to have different opinions! Do you not realize how much harder it is to think differently? Why do I have to give myself up just to please others?" Dalnim cried. His sister narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth, but Dalnim continued. "You're so mean! You pretend to be this nice and understanding woman, but you never tried to understand me!" Dalnim could now feel the warmth of his tears falling. His sister scoffed.

"Understand what? There's nothing to understand! You are so stupid. You complain on how this war is useless and how it can be resolved peacefully? Tell me then! What the fuck are you doing to try to end this war?! Nothing! You can't end a war that the other side wants! So, stop spewing out your delusional fantasies!" Noeul hissed. Dalnim looked away. He couldn't look her in the eyes anymore. He felt heart pounding. Noeul then pushed Dalnim away. "Did you forget that we were only able to live a decent life because of the villagers here? They could have turned their backs on us when we became orphans, but they didn't!"

Dalnim knew where she was going with that. He knew exactly what he was going to say. And she isn't wrong. "I-I get what you are saying but-"

"But what?! Argh, you piss me off so much! You always try to pretend to be this neutral person when you aren't! You can never be! Is it so hard to just serve in the army as a form of thanking everyone?! As a way to protect your home?!" Dalnim lowered his head. He knew that this was her way of thanking the villagers. And while he felt the same, he just felt he could do so without compromising his beliefs. Plus, there was one thing that held him back more than anything.

"You never tried to listen to one thing. I just don't like to think about dying in a battlefield when I-"

"Shut up. Just shut up! Not this shit again! Dalnim, we are all going to die one day! We don't get to choose when! Dad died protecting our home and I know he would die on that battlefield again and again! And mom... she died because of you!" Nouel shouted as she slapped him.

"Excuse me?! It's not like I wanted her to die when giving birth to me! It wasn't like I was thinking "oh, I hope you die haha"! How fucking dare, you!" Dalnim shouted and swore for the first time in this argument. What he didn't expect was him slapping his older sister. His heart was pounding so much that he could no longer hear the thunder. Noeul looked at him with shock then fury. She gritted her teeth.

"If you hadn't been born then she would still be here! I feel so sorry for Mom that she died thinking she was doing what was best for her child, not knowing you weren't worth it. She died for nothing and even gave you her most precious possession! Which makes it even worse. You can never amount to anything and it's a shame she's dead instead of you," Noeul hissed. Dalnim slapped his sister again. This time, his sister hit him back. Before they knew it, they were physically fighting each other while hurling insults at one another. And the next, they were being pulled apart by soldiers and taken to separate locations.

Dalnim finished telling Iseul about the past. Iseul sighed. How cruel to tell your own brother that he didn’t deserve to be born. Now, instead of feeling frustrated with Dalnim, she felt anger towards Noeul. Iseul could only hope that she regretted every word she had said.

“If… If I hadn’t been born- “

“Don’t say that. You’re disrespecting your mom by saying that.” Dalnim had tears falling from his eyes. He turned to look at her. Iseul's heart broke and she knew if her sister was here the she would have started crying.

“It’s true! My mom really did die for nothing! Look at me! I’m just a shameful son who can’t do shit! I’m weak and a coward! I can never make my parents proud! I wasted their lives! Everyone would have been happier without me! I should have never been born!” Dalnim cried. Finally, it seemed all the pent-up emotions had broken through the walls that Dalnim tried to build. Iseul sighed. Who knew words could really cut that deep.

“I’m sure your mother still loves you. She gave her life up for you, so it's an insult to say such stuff.” Iseul’s words were lost as Dalnim slumped over. He passed out. It was at this moment that Iseul noticed a ring around his neck. Now she knew why he held his chest so much. It was this ring. His mother must have left it for him. She really did care about him. Iseul hoped that one day Dalnim would notice that. “Have a nice nap. As soon as you wake up, I’m making you train. So, sleep as long as possible.” Dalnim only snored in response.

--------------------------------

Note: Originally this was two seperate stories. But, I merged it all in one here. And Noeul isn't a bad person, but she isn't good either. This will be the last dark story for a while. I want to write more fun stories about Dalnim and Iseul. Also because I made someone cry with how sad the story was. My boyfriend also said that it was a sad story. I also do need to introduce a new OC.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Do you think it'd be possible to rehabilitate Marked Men? If so, how do you think it'd go?

You guys ask such good, interesting questions!

I've been thinking about this one for a bit. Summed up, my answer would be that you could probably rehabilitate them physically enough to remove them from The Divide without them dying, given enough time, but I think that mentally/psychologically they're pretty much gone, so the ethics of doing so are questionable at best.

With the Marked Men, it's established in Lonesome Road that these guys are basically existing in a sort of perpetual "living death" where they consistently have these major traumatic injuries that would otherwise kill them, but they're kept right on the verge of life and consciousness by the insane levels of radiation in The Divide/along the Long 15. They're literally being flayed alive by the high-speed sandy winds kicked up by the storms that plague the area, as in "skin sliced from muscle", and they're constantly getting into skirmishes and tearing strangers (as well as one another) limb-from-limb, which would only result in more injuries.

The root of the issue is that these ghouls are basically radiation-dependent, right? Other ghouls benefit from the presence of radiation (increased healing rate, overall better feeling, energizing effect), but Marked Men need high levels of radiation to even stay alive. Maybe if you slowly, and I mean over a matter of weeks or months, moved further and further down the Long 15 back towards Vegas, really taking your time, you could acclimate them to the lower levels of radiation as well as allow their wounds time to heal enough to no longer be fatal.

But what are the implications for you if you have to remain immersed in all those rads for that long? Who's to say you wouldn't begin to turn into a ghoul yourself? At the very least, you'd be incredibly sick and flying through Rad-X and Radaway at a genuinely concerning rate. And it's not like you can waltz up to one of them and say "Hey, buddy! You wanna come to Vegas with me?" or tell them "I have to leave the canyon for a few days or I'm gonna die from radiation poisoning. Stay here!". They're gonna fight you the whole time and be genuinely quite dangerous when they do it, and the second you turn your back, they'll flee or kill you because they feel instinctually that that's what's best for their self-preservation.

Even if you could get them to a point of medical stabilization, it would by no means be an end to their physical pain (which can literally send you into shock and kill you itself) or the fact that none of them seem to have control of their mental faculties anymore by the time you encounter them. Sure, they demonstrate some minor ability to coordinate themselves, but I see that as more of a "terrified animals desperately defending the fire that saves them all from the dark" than something that teases at more complex thought processes. They don't even use words. Even completely feral ghouls outside of The Divide will sometimes use individual words (granted, those words are things like "Pain!" or "Kill!", but even that conveys some level of ability to understand what they're perceiving and to communicate that; Marked Men don't even have that as far as I recall.)

My theory as to why they would not recover mentally is that, like with the rest of the body, there will simply eventually be pieces of you that can no longer regenerate/heal properly, and they will age and rot as they should, even if ghouls are basically incapable of dying from non-trauma. This would include the grey matter that makes up the brain, and once a certain percentage of it is gone, you will see irreparable changes to that person's demeanor, behavior, and reasoning skills. Marked Men and feral ghouls in general, in my opinion, basically have a form of severe dementia that only occurs in people who survive ghoulification/live longer than the natural human life span.

I think these poor people are tired beyond a level any of us could ever comprehend. I think they're victims of something that should have ended a long, long time ago, and I think all they really know now is fear and pain. In my personal opinion, it's best to quickly and compassionately relieve them of their suffering.

[fizziepopangel]

Chronically Ill Angel Dust

Author's note: I suffer from CFS and I have a few other undiagnosed issues, and as I can feel the effects of my current flare, this headcanon list is rather self-serving.... I kinda wanna make a few more of these for other characters with other various chronic illnesses. Let me know if you have any suggestions! -Fizzie❤️

Angel suffers from CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) believed to be brought on by a mixture of his years of drug abuse wearing on his body, and years of psychological and emotional trauma. He isn’t sure how true that is, but he knows he feels like shit more than he doesn’t and he hates it…. Very few people know about his condition, the list being only 3 people long (Valentino, Charlie, and Husk).

Given the fact that he has a chronic illness and has a job that puts a lot of emotional and physical strain on his body, Angel tries to find little things that make him feel better. One thing that he’s come up with is skin care and long baths.

Naps. So many naps, and so many Fat Nuggets cuddles.

Fat Nuggets acts as a sort of unlicensed service animal/emotional support animal for the spider demon. Angel never really trained the pig to do tasks, but the little creature is eerily good at reading his owner's emotions and learned a few tricks that tend to help him on flare days.

Husk and Charlie are the only two in the entire hotel that know what Angel experiences. Angel told Charlie after a few months when he finally felt like he could trust the princess enough, but Husk found out on accident toward the time their friendship took that awkward first stage of romanticism when Angel broke down after a rather bad flare up of his symptoms left him in tears in his bed one day. Not being able to do much to help his spider companion in the moment, Fat Nuggets did what every good emotional support/service pig would do…. He went to Husk’s room and oinked at the door until the bartender let him in, then  stole his hat and ran to his own room so the man would have to come and find and help his friend.

Charlie always stops by Angel’s room to check on him whenever he skips their group activities, usually bringing him small gifts of things like pain pills, heating pads, and even small stuffed animals, or sometimes staying in his room to sit with him and let him vent about how he was feeling, or just so he didn’t have to be alone.

Husk’s approach to helping Angel usually revolved more around him doing things he knew often worsened some of Angel’s symptoms. Husk tended to help with things like laundry or dishes, or sometimes picking up things like pig feed for Fat Nuggets.

All of the soft blankets. He owns at least 20 or 30  soft and fluffy blankets and dozens of various sized pillows of varying firmnesses that he tries to use for his comfort for different aches and pains.

He has different sized heating pads and ice packs for the same reasons.

His shoulders, elbows, and wrists tend to ache the most, but his hips tend to bother him quite a bit too.

Angel does not know how to use his spoons wisely most of the time and tends to try to do as much as he can when he feels like he has more energy (spoons) than usual, leaving him utterly exhausted after he’s run out.

Valentino takes advantage of some of the spider’s symptoms for more “believable” reactions since he tells Angel that his acting has become stale.

Brain fog is a bitch for this man. The forgetfulness and confusion are usually his friends’ first signs that he isn’t doing the best. When his comebacks become a little dull, Husk usually starts to check in on him, while Charlie starts to check in when she notices Angel losing his words during conversations.

Once, when he was having a particularly bad flare up, a slightly older woman heard him complaining to Fat Nuggets as he walked out of a coffee shop, wincing as he leaned down to give his piggy pal a piggy cup. The woman then scoffed at him, saying that he was too young to be so tired or to know what joint pain really was…. Angel decked her. It worsened his pain, but he felt it was worth it.

[meowsticmarvels]

ok wait dumping this in a tumblr post buuuuut reasons why i think phis autistic as Fuck!!! not structured and a lot of these could be considered a stretch but i just. Think it is a bit real personally . if anyone else cares. some spoilers ahead i think i dont remember where im tired right now but i wouldnt suggest looking at this if you havent finished the game. yeah. :3

- she speaks with a very monotone and flat voice throughout both games she's in (though it's more evident how flat it is in VLR's voice acting). of course she can be emotional at times but like.. in comparison to the other characters shes very inexpressive. multiple of her sprites in VLR are just variations of the :| face . looking at VLR's other sprites which are much more expressive its more her just being like that it seems. i dont think i have to explain why im putting this here she is SO deadpan with her delivery

- speaking of the above when sigma gets stabbed by mira diana's crying while phi has barely a reaction apart from "it might even affect me more than you". It's not that she doesn't FEEL these emotions strongly its just more that she's bad at expressing them. she has a few moments where she's particularly angry (see: her yelling at delta for example, or pushing kyle away) or upset (see the shoot: live end of fire where she breaks down in front of diana, or luna end when sigma abandons her) and it just all falls apart and Breaks yknow. but this is not the norm for her

- she's.. Very blunt . i don't have to explain this. even during vlr itself iirc this makes a couple people go Ummm what the fuck okay

- eric comments rhat she has a really weird stare that unnerves him a bit. this might just be an eric thing or about her doll but listen to me.;

- her ZTD doll is the only one with no mouth whatsoever which could be an allusion to her inability to express her emotions (maybe) (could be a stretch but there are a LOT of interpretations here i can pull my list from twt if anyone wants me to elaborate)

- theres a few moments i can remember (like once or twice) where she makes a super dry joke and people take her completely seriously. it happens at least once in vlr i can confirm though

- the whole thing with her reaction to the luminol reads as a sensory issues thing but i might be crazy on this one

- infodumps. so much. there's multiple moments she tries to but gets cut off before she can but it happens. A lot. especially about anything related to psychology or physics (includes stuff like quantum mechanics, annihilation energy, the prisoner's dilemma, schrodinger's cat alien hand syndrome, etc. she also almost infodumps about missiles once)

- there's some aini short where mizuki's playing vlr. one of the things she says to aiba is like "hey phi's kind of like you aiba! neither of you can read the room!" Mizuki do you know what you are saying. Hey

- a couple additional lines from safe mode dialogue: phi saying she won't do a puzzle because she'll "get her hands dirty" (though it could just be a joke), and another time where sigma says "so there IS a sense of humor behind that mask."

[shoukiko]

Hi, you can keep this unanswered and not post it, but I want to help you understand the thought behind some of the points in your criticism post. Before I start I want to apologise if I come off as blunt and rude, that's not my intention and I'll try my best to show my tone as unthreatening but I'm autistic and not a native English speaker, which complicates things lol

*general you used throughout the ask

First, I want to start with this: they all are part of the army. You don't need to dig much to see you'll rarely see a "morally upstanding" person in the army, be it because they're cheaters, abusers, compliant with all that or they're (insert -ist/-phobe category here). UK military spouses are 3 times more likely to experience intimate partner violence (IPV). I'm not saying the COD characters need to be written like that, but it wouldn't be "unrealistic" if we take real life statistics into account.

Second, and maybe the most important thing, everyone writes COD characters OOC. The majority of the active fandom on Tumblr and tiktok have seen gifs and 10min out of context clips from the game at best. It's to be expected to not frequently find something actually in character for a lot of the guys. Especially with characters that are just operators like König, Nikto and Krueger. In their case everything is and isn't OOC at the same time because we just... Don't know these characters. We lack characterisation past maybe 1-3 traits about them. I'd argue that's why the fandom liked König so much, other than being masked, he's the perfect paper doll! You can dress him up in whatever characterisation you want and it probably won't contradict his canon (because he barely has one and what he has is quickly misinterpreted (anxiety disorder turning into shyness for example)).

Now specifically on your "How are you going to hc a victim as the abuser?" - simple, whether you like to accept it or not is up to you, but it's not far fetched for victims to become abusers later in life. Just look at serial killers statistics - 74% of US serial killers were psychologically abused and 42% were physically abused as children and later in life followed a similar pattern brought to an extreme. Or on the other hand, a tamer example would be generational trauma because that's how we get that (grandparent was abused and because that's all they know, they implement it in bringing up their child who, for the same reason, implements it in bringing up the grandchild and so on).

The final thing I want to say is, it's good to block people who you don't vibe with. Doesn't matter if it's because they wrote something that personally disturbed you or you simply don't like their blog theme or you see them too often in the tag. Personally curating your experience is key in fandom, utilise the tools Tumblr has given us. Of course as you and others have mentioned that's impossible without some assistance from the other side. Tagging is extremely important (tagging with the correct words without censoring!!! Or the filter won't catch! Rape, noncon, incest ✅; r@pe, n*nc*n, 1nc*st ✖️✖️).

I hope this isn't too messy or long aaaa

I really appreciate you taking the time to type this up and actually speak to me about this, your input is very appreciated. /gen

I do think I could've done better on that post since I wrote it in the heat of the moment, all characters are written OOC and it was ignorant of me to say

"Maybe read the characters backstories and actually take their past into consideration because you guys kinda look dumb for making these characters so OOC."

I hope ya'll can really take the time to see my POV, I did not mean. any harm, I've come across some gross things, but blocking and filtering tags so much as begun to be tiring.

My main issue is tagging, without tagging I am left with getting triggered by random posts because the first few sentences may include something on my trigger list.

That's all I want and also what a lot of other people want.

Writing is meant for anyone and everyone, a form of art and perhaps a for of therapy.

Please tag your work, you are not the only person on the internet.

Thank you for reading!

[mysteriawrites]

Hello ,can I request a TWST matchup please !? And thank you .

**Appearance:**

I'm a 5'5" Arab girl (165cm) (she/her, straight )who wears a hijab. I am a brunette with big, light brown eyes and red-framed glasses. People often say I have a soothing aura when they look into my eyes. My face is round with a kind of heart shape with big cheeks, a small nose, and cute defined lips. I'm pale cause I mostly stay at home and avoid getting a tan. I have a lot of beauty marks on my face . I have eyebags, which might be due to anemia, and I always look tired unless i use blush ,tho i dislike the texture of makeup on my skin (but i do care about my skin by applying skincare ,but i dont do it very often 😅)people say I am cute and pretty but it's hard for me to believe them (insecurities and self doub go brr...)

**Hobbies:**

drawing, (sketches mostly) ,I plan to learn colour theory to start painting. I adore all forms of art, paintings , music , sculptures..ect (I love everything that is beautiful ,plus everything is beautiful in its own way).I enjoy reading. Although it's been a while since I found a book that peeked my interest ,I mostly read fanfics recently . Video games hold a special place in my heart, I LOVE the different art styles and plots in each game. I like anime, but I've been too busy lately to watch. I have some sewing skills, mostly for patching things up, but I want to sew clothes and learn crochet in the future. Crafting is another hobby I enjoy, I am good with my hands. I love learning new stuff. biology ,psychology, and physics r my fav subjects(i like learning about anatomy whether it's animal's or human's +plants in the medical field +my fav scientist is Nicolas Tesla). I speak 3 languages: Arabic (native), French, and English. I plan to learn Spanish, Italian, or German next, depending on my mood. I'm a quick learner and adapt easily to different situations(that's something I admire and take pride in) While I can cook simple dishes like pasta and eggs, I'm not skilled at cooking savory foods.but in baking ,if you give me a recipe, i will make the most delicious desserts you've ever tasted(but quiet ironically i hate cooking ,i only do it if i am forced to), lemon tart is my fav due to my sweet tooth.

I forgot to mention my love for horror movies and games(they dont even scare me . Even though I am a good swimmer, I have thalassophobia (ironic), but i do like me some facts about marine biology, with jellyfishes, anglerfishes, and Caribbean reef octopuses being my favorites.

**Personality:**

My personality is quite flexible and depends on both the people I'm with and my mood. When I'm outside , I tend to feel anxious, although I do my best not to show it. I come across as calm, chill, and reserved, often giving off a "don't approach me" vibe, but I'm friendly and won't reject anyone who wants to chat, although I dislike small talk and feel a bit uneasy around boys. I've had trust issues due to past betrayals, so I'm cautious with my relationships now (whether it is friends or family ,no lover tho ,don't get me wrong i can be quiet the romantic but the only man that I would probably get attached to would be fictional for sure lol)

With my close friends, I'm more open, bright, and cheerful. I talk a lot about my interests, sharing random facts (they call me a nerd). I'm caring and sweet toward my friends, and my love languages include gift-giving, physical touch, and acts of service. I give them presents and hugs, always respecting their boundaries.

I would describe myself as creative, passionate, and smart, with a hint of perfectionism. I admit I am lazy and unmotivated more often than i like (i can't help it). I am an INTP-T, Enneagram 5w4, and a Libra. I'm also an older sister.

I am a burnt-out gifted kid , but I try to be the best version of myself whether academically ,mentally or physically(i admit i do feel down thinking that i am never gonna make it ,but i always try to push these thoughts aside but most of the time they get the best of me sadly).I often feel I'll never be good enough for my mother (she has high standards for me that I can never seem to meet). I was bullied cause of my looks and weight, which made me depressed and anorexic for a year. Thankfully, I've changed a lot over time, tho it affected me making me antisocial, having trust issues and insecurities. I like energy drinks. My music taste varies from pop, alt/indie, classical( my fav pieces are moonlight sonata 3rd movement, danse macabre , in the hall of the mountain king and la campanella ) ,jazz, to rock/metal, with a particular love for rock & roll. Comfortable baggy clothes are my go-to(makes me feel good in my own skin) , and I can be quite sarcastic with a sharp tongue at times. Once I get comfortable with someone, you'll find I'm pretty blunt and honest .I am polite and respectful .I can also be stubborn and a pessimist if I am not in a good mood . I like cats, and I am afraid of dogs and horses and can't stand people who underestimate me .I have inferiority AND superiority complex (but mostly inferiority)

Hello hello thank you for the request (first hijabi request I’ve gotten which makes me happy cause i wear hijab too ❤️) sorry this took 80 years my life is on fire.

Anyway without further ado DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

VIL SCHOENHEIT!!!

You and Vil are surprisingly similar which makes it easier for you two to click than with most other people. You both try your absolute hardest to be the best people you can be and see the beauty in the world around you although while he tries to bring out the beauty in things you see beauty in the way they already were.

You and Vil met during alchemy class after you dropped into Twisted Wonderland. At first Vil was his usual perfectionist self: ordering you around and being controlling about how to do your project, but once you showed him your alchemic proficiency he was genuinely impressed.

Ever since then not only did you capture his respect, but also his intrigue. Despite being as busy as he is, when he had the time he would try to learn more about who you were by either word of mouth or asking your friends (Rook offered to “observe you” but Vil voted against it for it is rude and creepy).

One day while he was on a run he saw you under a tree practicing your sewing. He decided this was a good opportunity to strike up a conversation with you given he knew a thing or two about clothes.

He walked over and gave you some advice about your stitching. Sadly it came off a lot more condescending then he would like and it rubbed you the wrong way which lead you to giving him the cold shoulder but tried to politely dismiss yourself.

You know those guys that are more intrigued by those who aren’t interested in them? Yeah that’s Vil even if he’ll never admit it. The more you ignore or avoid him the more he wants to make amends and try to impress you.

Until one day where you’re in a particularly bad mood you have an outburst about how him not giving you space makes you uncomfortable due to old wounds and ask what his deal was.

This made him realize his behavior towards you was unfair and disrespectful. He didn’t take your feelings or comfort into account at all. He is as ashamed with himself.

He stood before you and gave a genuine and sincere apology before walking away.

You don’t know how or why, but his apology moved you. He’s not like other guys you’ve met before. You could tell that he felt genuine remorse and met every word of what he said

A week later you two run into each other again and make awkward small talk. You can tell that he still feels bad about what he did, so you propose that you guys start over as true friends.

And he agrees.

After that you slowly but surely grow closer and closer. Bonding over shared passions and views, before long Vil is falling in love with you. You’re not his first crush, but you’re the first one he truly feels love and affection for. Not just a relationship for the press or screens.

And so he asks you out like a classic fairytale prince for a fancy private dinner. And although you accept you let him know that he doesn’t need to do something so extravagant, that you would be happy no matter what. That takes him by surprise, but it’s not an unwelcome one.

You and Vil are like an old married couple once you finally get together.

Always bantering about how you both need to take better care of yourselves. It’s wholesome and funny at the same time.

Because he can’t always spend a lot of time with you, his love language is gift giving and acts of service. What better way to spend his money than on you. He gets you things he sees you eyeing in the store or on your wishlist or things that make your day a bit easier.

Since he’s not the best at showing it he wants to make sure you know you’re loved even without words.

Your dates usually consist of simple things like cooking at home where you have full privacy.

He is the Queen and you are the King/Queen/Royal at his side.

[his-tamine]

life update :3 (a little vent-y)

sooo, been over 200 days since the house caught fire and we had to move. obviously, a lot of stuff's been happening. can't go into deep details for fear of someone I don't want to find this, finding this, but I'll say this much: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've very rarely mentioned family on here (for obvious reasons - this account is NOT made for that lol) but here goes. tw for pretty heavy topics: mentions of abuse, father issues, health issues, transphobia & financial issues. I turned 18 Feb 21st, literally just almost 2 months before the damn house caught fire. Meanwhile, my brother's still a minor. MEANING, I narrowly escaped the custody battle my mom & dad are in. But unfortunately, he's still stuck in the middle of it. :( My pops was not really the nicest person to me when I was a kid -

whooping my ass whenever I did anything wrong, no matter how minor the offense was.

Telling me that he loved God more than he loved me, because "You're God's gift to me. God is the one who gave you to me in the first place," when I was four.

Telling me that if I didn't start being ok with receiving physical affection from family - which he knew made me uncomfortable - I was "going to grow up to be a S3R1AL K1LL3R" (yes he said that.)

Telling me that "God doesn't make mistakes," and that he "made me into a beautiful young woman for a reason" after I came out to him personally at 14 - big mistake 0/10 stars, would never do again. You get the idea. And those are the tame examples I could think of. So, I finally cut him off. As soon as my mom, brother, & I were in our new place, I blocked his number and haven't talked to him since. I was sick of him not respecting my boundaries, and repeatedly demonstrating that he thought of me as nothing more than a possession. Tired of him making me feel crazy all the time too. But now he's fucking with my mom & brother. Intentionally not paying child support till the last minute possible - & then making it in as small of payments at a time as he possibly can (yes he can afford it btw.) Trying to force my brother to go over to his place, even when my brother does NOT want to - which has begun giving my brother psychological issues & issues with school, mirroring the ones I used to struggle with bc of that bastard. My mom is juggling all sorts of things, & I really at least wanna try to help financially by getting a job, but I can't yet because: she says that I'm only 18, & shouldn't have to get a job to help out (I disagree.) I don't have an ID bc she wants me to wait on my legal name change - which costs a pretty decent chunk of change - reason is bc she "wants me to have as easy an early adulthood life as possible" (love her.) AND, I haven't actually graduated - No, I dipped in 11th bc school was hell (not exaggerating,) & instead just decided to pursue a GED, that I haven't been able to work towards bc of the shit show that is life in midwestern america. So I've been very depressed, exhausted, & hopeless. The least I can do is clean up our house while she's at work, & get this - some days I don't even have the physical energy to do THAT! I do not know what the hell is wrong with my body currently, but it absolutely sucks. & I'm really tired of just taking up space all the time. She's dealing with health issues too, & I'm always worried ab her. Idk what the hell to do, but something's gotta give. Everybody needs a fucking break. I keep trying to shoo away all the dark thoughts, push myself as often as possible, & keep my fingers crossed, but jfc... Sorry just needed to yell into the void for a sec. I'll live, I'm sure - I've survived worse. Sometimes things just suck. But I like to think that someday they won't. :,)

[bnha-more-like-bnh-gay]

So, for a couple of years now, I've been reading the old X-Men comics of the 70s & 80s, and a few recent issues from '87 have given me a great idea for an AU.

Ready?

Dazzler!Izuku 😀

So, Izuku is born with a quirk that allows him to transform sound into photonic energy. Anything from generating benign blobs of light that move, pulsate, and change color in relation to whatever music he's listening to (tho, this can be weaponized too; during the sludge villain attack, Izuku overwhelms the villain's eyes with a fantastic light show that leaves him catatonic), to concentrating a single, loud noise into a laser beam that deals concussive damage.

Izuku would, of course, gravitate towards Present Mic as a mentor. And he would team up well with Jirou.

So, what do you think?

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY TO, SCHOOL AND MY MENTAL HEALTH FUCKED ME OVER. I have had half of this in my queue for about 3 months, ya bitch was just burnt tf out 💀

But dude, I absolutely fucking love this 😭😭

Heads up, my knowledge of physics is limited so I’m not going to be talking much about the actual details of his quirk until after I learn more about it, but I hope you enjoy!!!

Izuku who makes physics jokes.

He has shirts with physics puns on them. A shirt that says, “the photon checked into the hotel and was asked if it had any bags, it said, “no thanks, I’m traveling light!”

Reminds me of the time I was dual enrolling and in my psychology class, I said, “I once asked the librarian if she had a book on Pavlov’s dog and Schrödinger’s cat. She said it rung a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not!”

I thought I was so funny, but everyone else hated me.

Izuku is that kid. He does that shit

Inko loves it, she thinks her son is hilarious. Mic loves it. The little lister is so smart! Nezu has a goddamn field day. Aizawa is so tired, but secretly likes the jokes. He face palms every time and acts like it’s the end of the world, but he does like them. Midnight thinks it’s great, she asks izuku for more jokes/puns all the time. Mainly to annoy Aizawa. But still. BRUH, MISS JOKE. SHE LOVES THIS LITTLE SHIT. I honestly feel like all might wouldn’t understand most of them, but he’d love them anyway.

Izuku: I was studying frequencies, but now my brain Hertz.

He accidentally freaks people out the first few weeks in the dorm because they’re not used to it/expecting it.

The number of times mina asks for mood lighting

I really want to drive home that he makes an unholy amount of puns

He doesn’t even try to, it just happens so naturally. Shouto has theorized that it’s a secondary quirk.

You have spoken directly to my soul with mentor mic (and Jirou/izuku friends)

They’d all work so well together though

Mic brings him to Put Your Hands Up Radio not only to work with his quirk, but to help with his nerves

It is no secret that izuku is a nervous lad, but I raise you, mic was also a nervous lad (personal headcanon, but you cannot tell me that lad doesn’t have generalized anxiety)

Mic helps izuku gain some coping mechanisms (or coping mic-anisms if you will (thank you, thank you))

Mic is a nerd, izuku is a nerd, Jirou is cool, but a nerd. Jirou, similar to Aizawa, rolls her eyes at the physics puns, but does she think they’re funny? Yes. Yes, she does. They defends izuku when people mock his puns

Mic couldn’t be prouder of his children

Thank you for the ask! I hope you enjoyed! Sorry it was kinda short 😅

[karusenka]

!Matchup info!

Female, she/her, ExFJ 2w3, Leo

Full typology: ExFJ 2w3 269 sp/so SLUAI FELV

Personality:

I am pretty social, however I prefer to spend time alone! I care about others a lot… To an unhealthy amount honestly but I'm working on it! I love to help others and make them smile. When my helping and gets unnoticed I might get upset because I just want to be appreciated. Like I said before I want to be noticed and not ignored! I care too much about what others feel and think and it's tiring, I just want to be selfish and care about myself sometimes even if it sounds mean. I also love being mentioned/involved in things, it makes me feel liked!

People call me funny! Well it all depends because everyone has a different sense of humor! But I am most of the time unserious and I love to joke around, serious situations are stressful so I prefer to be joyful, but I do like talking about serious topics (sometimes) Like I said before I love to make people smile and laugh with my jokes and overall make them happy with my presence.

My humor is definitely not for everyone, it's mostly the humor of a 12 y/o kid which can be annoying to some people lmao (sometimes it's funny how people are annoyed by it) and some other things depending on how I feel. When it comes to annoyance I also like to annoy people, it's so fun! But I never want to make them really feel bad! I often act like an asshole but this is just for jokes! (but sometimes I just want to be a real asshole but then I will feel bad anyways-) Like I said I don't want them to actually feel bad, if I do, I will feel very guilty! When it comes to it I apologize A LOT, I apologize so much that it might too annoying but I always feel a sense of guilt inside of me. I'm also VERY sensitive and worry about everything. Ah and I'm pretty dumb and I am not trying to insult myself I am just silly hehe and I'm okay with that. Oh and Im very clumsy

People know that I am horny 24/7, like I said earlier I have a humor of a 12 y/o so there are a lot of sex jokes. I am very interested in nsfw things, kinks etc, I am the "horny" friend

Someone can be mad at me a bit and I would about to cry already. Cute things makes me also want to cry... Overall like I said I am very sensitive. I feel guilty about everything 24/7 even if I shouldn't feel guilty

I also have anger issues and its very easy to make me angry.

Its probably because of my mental health issues but I tend to be unmotivated to even do simple things. I often procrastinate and its very hard for me to start doing things

My biggest love language is words of affirmation, I would say "I love you" and stuff like that very often. The second one is probably physical touch, but sometimes I might not be in a mood but otherwise I love hugs and kisses!

Likes/Dislikes:

I LOVE LOVE horror and scary things, I can't imagine my life without it, its just a such interesting genre that makes me happy and intrigued! I adore horror games and I'm mostly interested in them, however most of the time I am scared of playing them so I just watch gameplays and stuff like that haha. You can say I am obssesed with horror! (its funny because its easy to scare me haha)

I love to eat food! especially sweet things

I also love cute things! Plushies, pink, clothes and other cute things! I just love it so much!

I like games very much (I suck at them), art, anime, drawing and psychology! When it comes to music I love energetic ones!

I also love voice acting and overall acting! People say im good at it :3 When acting I usually play comic relief characters. I can also make a "uwu cutesy" voice

I dislike slow music but there can be some exceptions.

I dislike cooking (I love when someone knows to cook however I suck at it

Appearance:

Around 156 cm height

Chubby

brown eyes

chin length wavy hair with bangs

round glasses

My fav dynamics, tropes etc. (!cw dead dove!)

power imbalance, big age gaps, yandere x victim, abuse, noncon, opposites attract

[sarasa-cat]

A minor update on vagueblogged crisis-at-home mentioned last week:

One of my two cats has a habit of fucking around.

He has never been the most athletic creature but he likes to climb on things which is sometimes a cause for concern especially now as he grows older.

A week ago he climbed on top of some stuff that toppled over and he injured one of his back legs and was NOT willing to place weight on it which made it very difficult for him to walk or do much of anything.

(Note: neither of us saw the accident happen -- just the aftermath)

There was a long wait to get him seen at his vet (much less at any emergency hospital for animals) but I had assessed the best I could (sometimes my anatomy knowledge is useful) and felt no obvious breaks or dislocations, no joint destabilization (nothing was wobbly when manipulated or moved incorrectly -- he just didn't want to move any of it on his own), no severe swelling (requiring immediate ER attention), etc. My guess was that he had seriously pulled one or more muscles in his upper leg.

So we waited out the wait while physically carrying him to and from the litterbox, his food area, etc., every few hours.

Doc finally saw him 20 hours later (ugh, I know) and she came to all of the same conclusions I had come to but with far more medical certainty/knowledge. She him sent for x-rays on his leg and gave him pain meds. Radiologist took a day to get back to doc to confirm zero fractures but arthritis in knees (which we were already aware of but now had confirmed on x-rays).

Muscle strains and pulled muscles take a few days to calm down and then a few weeks or a month to heal. Torn ligaments are a different matter and take longer to heal (or require surgery).

Last week we needed to carry this cranky cat around for a few days while slowly coaxing him to try a few steps. Each day he got a little more confident and pain meds definitely helped.

Over the weekend we worked on stairs with him. Up was good. Down was .... nervous. Not sure if that was a physiological issue or psychological issue.

Yesterday he walked down an entire flight of stairs without prompting -- all on his own time for his own reasons -- which makes me further suspect this was only a muscular injury.

He had a ... constipation problem ... for a few days thanks to the sedative used during the x-rays but that finally cleared up yesterday.

Throughout all of this, he has been extremely affectionate and attention-wanting. He required a bit of baby-sitting for five days/nights.

Right now he's getting closer to normal but he still limits (for good reasons) what he will attempt to jump onto. That said, he has NEVER been a good jumper -- that just isn't who he is. He's never been the most agile of cats. But he likes to climb. Thus, it's a bad combination felt destined for an eventual injury. :(

...

Meanwhile, I have been a bit grumpy for the past 3 weeks dealing with an old (and once extremely severe/serious) injury that has flared up. Life has been ...uncomfortable...

So, given all of this, I am more exhausted than usual despite wanting to be outside enjoying late spring weather.

(limps off to make more tea)

I'm tired.

[anandasamsara]

Need to let shit out and as i can't afford therapy anymore, here's the place

I have no idea what to do anymore. Been playing with the idea of an onlyfans or selling feet pics, but i don't have the persistence for even that. Can't pick up any commission work bc i can't draw. Can't keep the print shop bc i can't afford materials. Im considering just selling all machinery to pay the bills.

Dad's only got 500brl from his payment this month, bc he borrowed money from the bank and it's eating up his whole salary. No, i have no idea where the supposed money he's borrowed went into. No idea where he spent enough money to cut his salary in fucking half, paying 144 installments of 1500brl.

We have to pay 1350brl for the apartment, about 250 for all phones, 180 for the internet, and thankfully this month only 56 for electricity but it might have been wrong and we might still get another bill with the right amount.

Outside of that, we need to eat, and i need to pay for my new phone that i only got bc the old one was about to explode, plus our credit card is blocked bc we don't have 5k to pay it right now. The credit card was being used exclusively to buy food.

I lost my job with the psychiatrist to her new computer, mom thankfully still has her first husband's pension, and dad gave us 500. So we have, collectively, about 2k if i give up my savings, and then next month we're back to about 1300brl, which doesn't even pay the apartment.

Dad has a job, a public job, from where he can't be legally fired. But he's on medical leave, so he can't work extra hours to earn more. I do understand the pressure and how tired he is after almost 30 years, but he's the only one who has a job. When I started working for the psychiatrist, he dumped all of the bills on me, but i was only making 300 per week and now I don't have this anymore. He's on medical leave bc he hates the school he teaches at, and got the leave with his psychiatrist. But if he needs to go back to work, he can't change schools bc no school will take a teacher on medical leave, so he doesn't want to go back. As i said, i do understand all of his psychological issues, but why do I have to ignore mine, which are also physical, to take whatever job, but he can't go back to the job he already has?? Isn't fucking survival first? We can't afford FOOD!

I have a medical leave check for myself to see if i can get into health security benefits in a couple weeks, but what if i can't? What if they look at me and say tough luck, deal with it? I haven't had an interview lined up yet, i went physically to places to give them my resume, but im either way under or too over qualified for literally every position i tried. Jobs that just require high school level won't hire me bc im graduated at university level, and places that require uni level also want me to have at least a mastery, or 5 years experience, or both.

I don't actually want to become a cam girl or whatever, I can't do the jobs i have the means to keep bc the means are gone, im too depressed to draw anything, I can't afford higher education and i have no drive right now,

I spent the last month in such a spiral of depression, bc i can't show that im depressed or my mom's depression will get worse. My best friends sent me money and im so embarrassed about it bc i shouldn't need this kind of help at all, and it was only enough to keep up for a month in the end. I can't bring myself to take any kind of whatever job, like at a store or supermarket or cleaning bc i won't survive the pain. I can feel my health declining, im in pain all the time, my bad foot has been acting up everyday and my ok foot is also annoying me.

I can't see much of any solution for anything. I became a burden, to my parents and to myself. To everyone. If i wasn't here, maybe it would be different. Easier. Cheaper.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, thank you so much for your blog. You're the only source i trust when it comes to mbti. I don't know my type. I know I'm Fi-Te but not sure if I'm ESFP or ENFP.

I'm very imaginative but i guess is because of wanting life to be more interesting and at the moment I can't be very present oriented because i want my present to change and i can't right now (because of lack of financial independence - I know i need a job a job, I'm searching), so i just make up fake scenarios inside my head usually accompanied with great music.

Also I've realized that getting outside of my head is good for my mental health even if it's just going to the grocery store or watching netflix (I tend to stay at home, i still live with my parents and I don't want to go out alone without friends and my friends are usually unavailable).

So, can ESFPs have their head in the clouds and be imaginative just because they like it? I want to create stories (but writing is always boring so I don't do it) and i love learning history, psychology, philosophy and I like to learn about society but then we have to ask why do i do this things, like you said, and i think the answer is "because i like it and it's fun", so it is that Se-Ni? I don't want to stay in my head forever because I've done it many years already and I had enough, I want to live my life and to explore my freedom but ENFPs also want that so I'm confused.

Also it's strange to think I'm Si inf since it's a function you'll only use well way later in life (I'm 26) and I like to be careful sometimes and I have a lot of life-learned lessons and I would hate to make the same mistakes again because it would lead to more sadness and i had enough of it (i had severe depression for years at the past + self-loathing issues because of bullying at school and emotional neglected parents). I also like some past techniques because they work, if they don't then that's when we should think of something new.

So I might be ESFP even though not a stereotypical one because of childhood and environmental factors.

I tend to do what I like without thinking if it's a good decision of not because I just wanna do it, which includes A LOT of imagination but I'm getting tired of it because I want to go to new places and what's better than creating a great story is living one.

I can live outside of my head when my reality is one that I like but I'm using imagination as long as I can remember since I'm a little kid. I like to talk to people about ideas but I've changed a lot because i grew up and I've realized that not everything in life needs to be changed, you can just appreciate the great things you have now like music, photography, love, friendship, food and i want to do all the things i haven't done yet, like dating, going out at night, sleepovers, etc).

When on grip I tend to think about the stuff that hurted me or get paranoid about people hurting me, i guess my biggest grip episode was me on depression, because who wouldn't suffer in their own misery when everyone around me was horrible to me? I had therapy and i still do and it saved my life.

So what do you think? Am I ENFP or ESFP? I've read a lot of your Theory Guide but the only thing that helper my more was the Function Dynamics part because the Se-Ne and inf Si-Ni is confusing to me because for me it feels like I can be both types and i know there's only one. Ne dom makes a lot of sense but Si inf just doesn't.

I do take objects as how they are but I also like to use it to improve life (eg books are made of paper but books help with making new ideas written on paper which helps people improve their lives/all actions need words and ideas first). However I don't want to just to think in a better future without living in my present because it just seems like I'm running forever to catch a train I never can catch and I don't want to live my whole life wanting to search for something without filling fulfilled and satisfied. I do love physical sensations like food.

I'm also very spiritual, I like the idea I'm guided and loved by an superior source because I didn't have that growing up that much, my parents have a different love language than me but now that I'm older i tend to become more strategic and cold (Te tert kicking in). I forgive them, but i just wanted to tell you this for the reason of loving God and my spiritual journey.

Function stacks:

Ne: loves brainstorming, generate ideas, likes and needs new experiences for mental health/ Fi: learning to cope and deal with my intense feelings, prioritizing my desires, / Te: likes to resolve problems with tasks and values efficiency, knows to make sacrifices for a greater cause / Si: gets bored by mundane tasks or same-old things.

OR

Se: my main priority in life is happiness, pleasure and fun, i like to get the desire/thing now if i don't i get angry (eg finding stuff in my never ending bag) / Fi: learning to cope and deal with my intense feelings, prioritizing my desires, / Te: likes to resolve problems with tasks and values efficiency, knows to make sacrifices for a greater cause / Ni: I do want to have a meaningful life and want to be remembered, I also tend to have intuition moments (eg don't put detergent on same grocery bag as food cuz is dangerous).

Sorry about the silly examples but that's what I got. I hope this is not confusing.

Thank for your time! Happy holidays.

----------------------

First, your understanding of Se isn't very good or deep, which is why you're getting confused. This fact by itself is usually enough to indicate it isn't the dominant function, since people should naturally have a good and deep understanding of the dominant function, especially once they learn about it through function theory. Second, a lot if not all of the major struggles you experience are typical manifestations of N-S imbalance (not S-N imbalance). Therefore, I'd have to conclude that ENFP is by far the much better fit.

[deathsbestgirl]

Saw your tags-- agree w/ your thoughts! :DDD

I put my fleshed out ideas... somewhere? in an additional post; but I meant (and didn't say very eloquently) was that Mulder's trauma is psychological while Scully's was physical. We see him on more mental collapses over the series than Scully, whereas her arc revolves around her bodily autonomy being violated. Both are tragic; but Scully was given something back for everything CC took away from her (abduction = coma to have a goodbye from her dead father/peace, Melissa died = led her to Emily to give Scully autonomy over her daughter's peace, infertility = IVF = failure = confronting her own scientific reluctance in Amor Fati arc = alien ship healing = journey's end in all things = miracle pregnancy, etc.) Whereas Mulder's tragedies has no good thing to come from them EXCEPT closure for Samantha (his mom's suicide will always weigh on him, and his dad's "hi son" in Anasazi was butchered by Mulder learning about his Nazi dealings in Paper Clip, etc.)

Scully is able to seek help, stability, and normality regardless of her sufferings (even going to therapy when her mental health in untenable); Mulder, however, collapses far too easily without his dilapidated quest (until The Unnatural-Closure.) His trauma is psychological: being too late or too frozen or too incompetent to help others (Max in Fallen Angel, Samantha pre-show, his parents' deaths, Scully's abduction, her cancer and chip control, missing his son's birth, etc.) And his torture in S8 was never addressed, he was competently replaced by Doggett (who had a great solve rate), Scully would have been a good parent without him, Skinner/TLG advocate for his replacement (silently), etc. He had to suffer another loss-- his job, his files, to get a modicum of peace... and even that was robbed by his fear of his child's paternity. And he missed his son's birth (while Scully suffered another physical trauma with Reyes, so both had an awful time of it.)

Their tragedies are incomparable; but Mulder isn't hit hardest by physical violence while Scully is, hence her abduction/infertility being a pillar of trauma for her. For Mulder, it's psychological failure that haunts him the most.

Went on a long-winded spiel there, but I tried to consolidate it all down! :DDDDDD

thank you for this message !! so i tried to start it last night, but honestly was too tired to continue trying lol my issue isn't that i disagree with you at all, but the whole discussion ended up bringing out my anger toward the show 🤣

so i'm finding it hard to talk about their characters in the context of the show when i'm mad about the writing choices.

because. in oubilette (i love this episode), they give a minor the space to have such intense emotions after she'd been kidnapped, raped & abused. and it's SO frustrating that they make scully just bury it. i guess we can assume that because we see her go to therapy, she may go more than we see. and i think you're right to credit her more stable family background for how she's able to heal. but i just don't think being abducted for three months & having no memory and later learning you were medically raped when she was terrified to do any kind of therapy that could help her remember.

so i just don't think she ever dealt with it well, she internalized and tried to bury it and just move forward. or rather, she dealt with it by working on the x files with mulder. cuz maybe she'd eventually get some answers when she was more ready. and she'd already dedicated herself to him.

which i think is another part of the "problem" for me. because they did this with scully, and the way the show is continually about mulder's trauma, i think it just pisses me off. and like. i just can't be sure these were decisions the writers made intentionally, to be part of her character (which when i rationalize it, scully doesn't want to be weak in front of mulder, become another reason for him to feel guilty, another reason for his quest. she's strong & rational and he needs her to be okay. she wants his trust & his pride, to feel worthy. not necessarily because of anything mulder says/does but because of her own psychology & issues...) or if they were lazy & GA worked with what she had as they focused her on mulder.

ANYWAY. all this to say both of their traumas are so so bad. his lead to so much pain, abuse, estrangement and his beautiful beautiful empathy. i think i just care more about scully's because we actually ~see much more of mulder's. half the cases are about his trauma. the whole show is about his trauma. and scully's, i have a harder time talking about because medical rape is too real & scary. losing children is heart wrenching & tragic. the assaults she suffered from obsessive, crazy men are a very present fear for women. we lose people to cancer all the time and it's worse than i could ever put into words (which that aspect of cancer is more about mulder) and i just don't think a lot of that can get better exactly? it's things that stay with you even if you had a loving, stable family, even if you've "worked through it" & "healed" & manage to move forward. there isn't really a choice when a child involved. and there isn't really a choice when you're the one left behind. (not good choices anyway)

(and gods it's so frustrating the way they suck at communicating directly. they really do know each other so well that they can understand so much with looks & touches because they've learned how the other's mind works, though, clearly only to a degree because neither of them can truly fathom how the other struggles when they're abducted & there's nothing they can do except waiting & looking & praying & just doing what they have to as life keeps going because that's how the world works. BUT COMMUNICATING MATTERS. they can't rely on the other just ~getting it, because clearly they can't always get it lol)

(and oh god there's something here about the way mulder is so self sacrificial that any bodily harm that comes to him doesn't matter. and there's also something about the loss of autonomy scully faces repeatedly...)

[gamersonthego]

Chase Koeneke's Top 10 Games of 2022

I think in general, I found myself wanting in 2022. While new games in some of my favorite franchises saw releases, very few lived up to the expectations I had for them. I also just completely missed games that would almost assuredly make this list (Hardspace Shipbreaker, Immortality, Pentiment, Coromon, Chained Echoes, the list goes on). But what did make the list? Let's find out.

10. Digimon Survive

Look, I promised myself this would be my token tenth slot, and it’s not because it deserves it. Digimon Survive isn’t very good. Its strategy parts are thin and tedious, plagued by low movement ranges and bad maps. And its visual novel parts go on way too long, yet rarely offer much depth. 

But dammit, there’s something here, and with some adjustments, a sequel to Digimon Survive could be really good (though I’m not sure it’ll get that chance.) The art style is excellent, the writing is solid (again, it’s an issue of quantity and redundancy, not necessarily quality) and outside of one or two of them, I ended up really connecting to both the characters and the Digimon. Other games deserve this slot more, but there was no other game I wanted to like more than this, and I think that accounts for something.

9. Platformer Toolkit

I love playing games, but I think I love analyzing them even more, which is probably why Mark Brown’s video-essay-inside-a-video-game appealed to me so much. Mark Brown’s YouTube channel, Game Maker’s Toolkit breaks down game mechanics, theory and psychology, and after he taught himself Unity this year (documenting his progress on the channel), he built a game that gave a tiny window into the the minds of game developers. 

Platformer Toolkit is a simple browser-based 2D platformer, but it controls like garbage. This is by design though! Mark walks and talks you through the physics of character movement, unlocks sliders and panels in a Mario Maker style design that lets you tweak everything from jump height and run speed to squash frames and coyote time. And once you’ve finished the short and free experience, Mark opens up a number of presets that lets you toggle through a group of classic platformer physics setups (Mario, Sonic, Celeste, Meat Boy, etc.) so you can compare and gain a greater appreciation for why those characters control the way they do. It was really compelling and I felt like a learned a ton.

8. Marvel's Midnight Suns

I’ve felt this way for years and I haven’t been shy in saying it: I’m fucking tired of superheroes. Throw them all in the bin right next to zombies and let’s find a new thing to obsess over please. But I do love me a turn-based strategy game, so when the makers of XCOM: Enemy Unknown announced they were making a game based on Marvel heroes, the pros outweighed the cons, and I checked it out. And while I’m not back on the MCU train (in fact, the writing is so, so, so Marveliciously awful, that I’ve started skipping cutscenes whole cloth), I’m finding myself addicted to the game parts of this game. 

Midnight Suns does not play like XCOM. At all. It’s an entirely new, card-based system, played in very small arenas. You’re always outnumbered and you always have a very limited numbered of actions available to you each turn. To overcome this, you have to employ clever strategy to make the most of every move, using attacks to bounce enemies off each other or parts of the environment, disabling the most vicious threats and finding the perfect opportunity to burn an action on achieving an objective. And while I never could thematically wrap my head around why these larger than life super-beings were all fighting in these cramped little spaces, the fact is, it’s just a really fun system to play around in. 

7. Vampire Survivors

More than any other game this year, Vampire Survivors justified my purchase of a Steam Deck. That sounds weird, right? I spent over $500 on a thing just to play a $5 game on it most of the time? But, uh, Vampire Survivors really is that good. This horde mode meets roguelike with a thick coat of Castlevania paint and a sprinkle of idle game sensibilities just kept sucking the hours right out of me. 

While the game on its own is fun enough, the real secret to the game’s success is, well, it’s the secrets. Finding the right combination of active and passive power-ups leads to special ultimate upgrades that turn you into an absolute buzzsaw of destruction against screen-filling masses of enemies. The more you play, the more fun, new toys you unlock, compelling you to try just one more run. A compulsion I would often give into. 

6. Citizen Sleeper

I was so hot on Citizen Sleeper when I first loaded it up. I’ve followed Guillaume “blackysan” Singelin’s work for awhile now, and seeing their work translated to a video game was really exciting. And the writing, my god, the writing! I hung on most every word. And its dice-heavy tabletop game mechanics and extremely limited resources brought in a satisfying combo of luck and desperation that gave me a real sense of scrounging and stretching for survival. 

And then I realized that the game rarely allows the player to fail, almost always throwing them a bone at the last minute, never fully committing to the survival tale the story would have you believe. And about two-thirds of the way through the game, the economy just falls apart completely, as any reasonably competent player can amass more than enough resources to live comfortably, even while the story tries to convince you otherwise. 

It was a real heartbreaker to me, one that partially led to me taking the first potential ending the game presented. But the more distance I get from it, the less I think about the busted economy and the more I think about my sleeper, and the choices and friends she made along the way. And thinking about that makes me smile.

5. Live A Live

Man, I wish Live A Live had gotten a western release back on the Super Nintendo. I know young Chase would’ve loved the JRPG-meets-turn-based-strategy combat, the amazing music and the fragmented story that stars multiple protagonists in different time periods. I know this because current Chase loved it, especially with this HD 2D touchup it got on the Nintendo Switch. Is it better than Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy? I mean…maybe? The fact that it’s even a question at all speaks to how good Live A Live is. 

It’s so inventive for its era. Heck, it’s still inventive today, playing with both genre and expectations to create something unique while wearing its influences proudly on its sleeve. More RPGs should’ve taken cues from Live A Live. And they still should. 

4. Triangle Strategy

Oh look, another turn-based strategy game. Oh, and it’s HD 2D too? Yup, I have a type, and Triangle Strategy almost fits it to a t. The game tells a grand story that genuinely gripped me (even though the voice acting often didn’t), and offered real, tangible choice leading to different story paths, character recruitments and endings. 

And while the battle mechanics weren’t perfect, there was enough depth and variety from the different characters that I took great pleasure in building each soldier up, unlocking new skills and equipping with new gear, looking for synergistic combinations. I love tactics games that make me care about my characters, and I fell hard for this cast of knuckleheads.

3. Tinykin

One of my favorite gimmicks in media is shrinking down and exploring a normal-sized space as a tiny character. I love the MacGuyverness of recontextualizing modern household objects as buildings, tools and transportation. And Tinykin has this in spades. In this miniature adventure, you explore kitchens, bedrooms, bathrooms and greenhouses as you collect Pikmin-like Tinykin — creatures that help you navigate the world and solve its objective-based puzzles. 

Tinykin has no combat, just chill, puzzling vibes that allow for curiosity and coziness to walk hand in hand. And as your posse of Tinykin grows, you roll deeper and deeper with your crew, until you are masterfully climbing, gliding and sliding about these creative spaces. It’s the perfect game to wind down with, and one I’d happily return to if another room got added as DLC.

2. Pokemon Legends: Arceus

Coming into 2022, this is not the Pokemon game I expected to make this list. Legends: Arceus looked awful in trailers: Empty worlds, lifeless combat, no real multiplayer to speak of. And none of those things changed once I got my hands on the final product. What did change though, was my perspective of the game in the first place. 

Legends: Arceus has you exploring an ancient Sinnoh region, in a world where the concept of Pokeballs and capturing Pokemon is just being discovered. Battling Pokemon isn’t all that fun with the new speed and strong style mechanics, but there’s hardly any battling in the game at all. Instead, Legends: Arceus is about the thrill of catching and collecting. It’s the first game in a while that makes “catching them all” feel like a relevant goal again. And the arrival of Alpha Pokemon (which are essentially bigger and rarer versions of their normal counterparts) added yet another layer of collection on top. In a year where Scarlet and Violet mostly disappointed me, Legends: Arceus is what kept me carrying a torch for my beloved pocket monsters.

Neon White

No other game made me feel as smooth, as cool, as fast and as clever as Neon White. Traversing this deadly parkour demon hunting time trial was my favorite experience of the year. I loved parsing out the fastest route through a level, discovering shortcuts and time saves along the way, before spotting a collectible and slowing down to a puzzling crawl to work my way up to where it was hiding. I loved taking on the challenge rooms that require precise and inventive ways of using your arsenal, not just for killing, but for traversal purposes as well, and then taking that knowledge back to the main game and seeing how i could implement it into my runs. 

Just about the only thing I dislike about the game is some of its writing and voice acting. Spike Spiegel himself, Steve Blum does a great job, but very little else of the cast is pulling their weight. 

But when a game makes you feel this damn cool, it just doesn’t matter what little hiccups you encounter. It’s my favorite game of the year, and one I’d probably love even more if I had a dedicated crew on my platform of choice to compete for the best level times. Neon White is a kinetic experience that turned me into a speed runner with every level.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi Kait! Admittedly, I'm a little embarrassed to ask this, since I'm fairly certain you'll recognize me, but I was looking around your page and I saw that match-ups were open, and... given my intense conflict regarding who the literal fuck I'd actually work well within MysMe, I thought I'd give it a shot. It's a lot easier to talk about myself under the guise of anonymity, so I suppose I'll start there. I'm a college freshman diagnosed with anxiety and depression hoping to get my double major in Psychology and Philosophy, and an eventual PHD in Psych. I am prone to overworking myself and tend to use escapism as an outlet for the fact that I'm never particularly satisfied with my own effort. I spend most of my free time outside of class sitting in my room working on art, writing, or trying to socialize with people (be it online or offline). I play a fair amount of games, but barely have the time to do so because of my tendency to overwork myself. I did a lot of theater and performance throughout my life, so I have a passion for watching musicals and assisting in performances backstage. I like being onstage as well, but previously it's proved more trouble than it's worth, especially since I'm always the 'reliable' cast, not the 'talented' cast. I also have an interest in flower language and plants, despite the fact that I kill most every plant I touch. As for my personality... that one is a little complicated. Offline I perceive myself to be an absolute anxious wreck. I'm always tired and always running around in an attempt to keep up with my responsibilities. However, outwardly people tend to perceive me as confident and knowledgable. I do wonderful in my academics and have a love for debate and asking hard questions, even if internally I am screaming at myself for stuttering or seeming silly. Online I tend to be a lot more open about myself and my emotions, but still fairly guarded as I try my best to maintain my privacy. I try to make people happy and build connections online since I feel more 'myself' there. Once I get close to someone I tend to enjoy peaceful silence with them. I'm a very physically affectionate person as words fail me so often, and I like listening to people just not too much. Chatterboxes get on my nerves, especially when someone repeats the same phrase over and over again. I have noise sensitivity issues as well, which doesn't help things. I'm also terrified of water - specifically the ocean. Any mention of swimming and I panic. I also have slight jealousy issues due to past relationship trauma. I'm 5'7 with a brown pixie cut that's admittedly a little overgrown right now, rose gold rounded square glasses with a slight cat eye, and blue-green eyes that tend to shift colors depending on what I'm wearing. I have quite a few birthmarks littered on my skin - most importantly one above my lip and another under my right eye. My ears are pierced, and I tend to wear black hoops unless I'm dressing up. Day to day I tend to look like your typical tired college student, but if I'm going somewhere I try to dress in cottagecore style attire with lots of sparkly makeup. I'm pan, and my love languages are physical touch and quality time. Something as simple as a hug or a hand to hold can turn me from stressed and panicked to melty and calm in minutes. I value intelligence a lot in a person, which is why I tend to like the nerdy types of characters in media. I also need someone who isn't shy about reminding me to not beat myself up. I tend to spiral anxiety wise a lot, especially if I believe that I've hurt my partner. I want someone who'll be there for me despite the mistakes that we might make. Someone long term. I have two partners currently, but I don't think that I'd end up polyamorous in any other circumstance than those two. Thank you for taking the time to read this, Kait. I apologize for how lengthy it ended up being haha. Please remember that you're greatly appreciated! Have a wonderful day. — 🌸

I match you with...

Jumin!

You value quiet intimacy.

You're not looking for a relationship where you feel as though you have to fill in the silence every waking moment. You want somebody that you can be comfortable with and being comfortable means the world to you. That's what you value at the end of the day. You're not looking for something that has way more energy than you can even remotely handle, you're looking for something that is peaceful and brings you a sense of contentment with your life.

You don't want something that's overwhelmingly fraught with energy. You want to be with somebody after a long day, not saying anything, and just sharing a look that says all that needs to be said. That's your ideal relationship. Mutual understanding. No pressure. Just a silence that says, "I'm here, I'm listening, and you're safe" both ways.

Which is why I was torn between Jaehee and Jumin when I looked at your submission without bias. Ultimately, I came to this conclusion as soon as I noted how you felt as though you needed a partner who had the ability to say something when you need a reminder to be nicer to yourself. and Jumin isn't one to mince words. He'll say what needs to be said and he won't hold back.

That is because he understands that if you are close to him, you'll understand where he's coming from when he says things to you in a very matter-of-fact way. He's not the kind of person who will hold back when you need to hear something.

He understands that you're going to know what he means when he says something bluntly. That's the important thing about being in a relationship with him. He said something from the heart, and he won't hold back if you have communicated to him that you need him to be honest. He will expect the same from you because that is what a great relationship is founded on. Communication. You don't have to be afraid of holding back when you’re with him. 

[hxhhasmysoul]

Well, it is true sukuna is evil ( and a piece of shit, but I love his expressions) but he is a delicious sin XD everything about him is quite delicious XD Anyway XD

I am happy some more people find my probably failed reading comprehension of yorozu's gift ruining sukuna, a good idea XD thank you, I just like some stuff like and to torture characters XD

Yes! I am excited about them too! It seems it will be bangers XD there is so many possibilities of what the plan could be that this talk would be endless XD

Maki could jump on Sukuna, but maybe they have some kind sequence to fight him, not saying yuuji and Hiromi will die necessarily, just maybe a down time.

Or maybe she will help Kinji?

But I do agree that yuuji pisses sukuna off for many reasons and would be interesting to see what he can do against sukuna, not just ability wise, but also psychological wise!

I was also thinking that, maybe Yuji could switch bodies with sukuna and then kill sukuna on his body? Might be a stretch, but it's a possibility. But that would mean that yuji would have no body to go back to so either him or megumi would die? Idk... just ideas XD

Also I wonder what will happen to poor megumi, boy needs a break and a big hug XD

I have list of issues with the whole gojo situation tbh, I am mostly confused and I this point with so much discussion around him, I got tired and confused XD his relationship with megumi is one of the things that leaves me a bit bitter and confused.

I see, I thought the same thing, it doesn't make sense for ke jaku to switch bodies right now.

Gojo techniques is cool and all, but it doesn't have the reach Geto's have. It would also make everything uo until now a big ass waste of time.

But I do think that they should dispose of gojo's body the right way, just in case XD and everyone else who might die tbh.

I got the feeling that while kenjaku is not much of a fighter, he is really good at it as if he does not quite enjoy fighting, just does it to keep doing whatever he is doing at the moment.

And he has a lot of experience too which helps tons against the "baby" jujutsu XD

It's very fun to chat with you! I don't feel judged and I am glad to have someone to hear me out and just chat. No fandom bs XD

Thank you!

Thank you for your asks, it's fun to speculate.

It'd've been fun if Yorozu's gift was a double edged sword. I reread 237 and it's said there that the weapon is her gift, I forgot about it because I forgot to read the chapter in order after the leaks. I love the leaks but they are fragmented and it messes with my understanding and memory.

I'm sure Maki will be brought in at some point but it's hard to say in which fight, she'd be an asset in any of the fights.

If I had to bet on some body swapping action with Yuuji's soul powers, I honestly would see him more switching himself into Megumi's body and getting Megumi into his own. One that's not transformed into a 4 armed behemoth, one that would likely be easier to reform. And like Sukuna can't be left unsupervised in a separate body. Sukuna needs a jailer and Yuuji is the only one who knows how to do that.

I've discussed Gojou so much recently that seeing him irks me at this point XD So I get you.

Also yeah, Kenjaku isn't one to choose a physical fight as a way to win but they will fight if they have to, and they do have skills.

And lastly I'm always happy to chat with fellow Sukuna enjoyers. He's an awful man with a hot 4-armed body and 2 lovely sexy smiles. I really like him as a thirst object but also as an antagonist. He has a fun personality for an antagonist.

I'm really curious for more Yuuji and Sukuna interactions, I really want to see Yuuji getting under his skin, messing with his beliefs and his self-image. He's done so much emotional and psychological damage to Yuuji, yet at the same time Yuuji never yielded to Sukuna, never cowered, never admired him. It'd be funny to see Sukuna yield. See Yuuji prove once and for all that his soul is stronger in every respect.