#and i do have like. physical/psychological issues that make me tired so

[ilminnestrone]

it saddens me how rare angeal content is... sooo what do you think angeal kink would be? and his reaction/him losing control when his partner wants to do it 🤭

At first glance, Commander Hewley would strike you as your average vanilla guy. He's not the type to study terminology or buy overly complicated gadgets, and even if he did have a few peculiar kinks, he would probably believe they are something that everyone else does and just not talk about it.

Two are the psychological traits that have shaped his psycho-sexual development:

His caring nature is a double-edged sword: his love language is acts of service and he genuinely enjoys providing those he loves with whatever they need, be it a lift, a couch to crash on or a home-cooked meal. But more than a few times he slips into people-pleasing: yes, he will take that boring assignment that falls in the week or your sister's wedding. Yes, he will file that report for you so you're not late for your partner's birthday. Yes, he will bring your Materia orbs back to the storeroom if you're too tired for it. Yes. Yes. YES. Which brings us to the second trait.

The man is repressed. Especially when it comes to anger. Everyone tells him he's too patient, and they're absolutely right. He needs to let off some steam, and sparring helps to some extent.

You could technically call him a soft Dom. Not an imposing dominant man -although he certainly is from a physical standpoint- but a nurturing, patient guide who's willing to lead you into a shared learning experience. The kind of man who would pick you up in a bridal carry and whisper "I'm taking you to bed now," or press his chest into your back and tell you "I'm gonna take good care of you."

It's not like he's into daddy kink as in age play. It's just that he loves taking care of his lovers, making them feel at ease, protected, safe. It’s not deliberate or planned, but when they happen to actually call him “daddy”, he will smirk and reply with a pleased “that’s my boy/girl” and they melt into puddles.

I can't stress this enough: Angeal Hewley has big, hot, nice hands. He can knead sourdough with them. He can grow a garden with them. And he can definitely give intoxicating full-body massages. You could argue that's not a kink, but the fact is that for him it definitely is: there's something about having a naked body at his mercy while he's still fully clothed that just makes him salivate; the feeling of muscles relaxing under his touch; the sight of skin covered in warm oil; the soft sighs when he finds that perfect spot...

Can you see it as role-playing when at the end of an hour long massage his fingers start roaming in places where sighs get heavier and turn into soft moans? Can you when, in the same calm voice he tells you that he has found a particular nerve that needs more of his attention? Can you, when he praises you for taking his services so well, that he wants you to feel good for him, because you deserve it?

Because yes, you should expect praise. For how good you taste. For how well you take him. For how pretty you look under him. For how good your mouth feels. Too good. So good he just needs to grab your hair and fuck into it, saying he’s so sorry, that he just can’t help it.

But when he gets his hands on some unruly lover, that’s where he becomes a real brat tamer. Those hands are not for pleasure only. He would lay the defiant thing in his lap and strikes those cheeks pretty, rubbing sensitivity back into them before hitting them again. And after the spanking, he would fuck them from behind, hips hitting the red skin again and the again.

Last but not least, he has some serious guilt issues to work through, and his conservative upbringing would lead him to believe that reclaiming his own body for something as shallow as pleasure (especially with another man) is something wrong and sinful. So he would love be punished for it: the harder the bites on his shoulder, the sharper the nails along his back has he fucks into them, the more intense the feeling of doing something forbidden... and he absolutely adores it (oh yes, we stan a masochist Dom).

[hugintheraven]

How to fix Amy Dallon

This is mostly me getting my thoughts in order. I doubt I will ever write Amy fix-it fic, but I want to have this just in case.

So the thing is, I don't think wretching Victoria was inevitable, far from it. That took a very specific set of circumstances. HOWEVER, "Amy does something selfish and harmful with her power that she can't fix, spirals and blames herself, does worse stuff in response"? I think that was fairly likely.

The problem is...a problem is...the various problems are...well I'll simplify. First, she has no support structure. Mark is useless, Carol is actively exacerbating her issues, and the rest of the family is their own kettle of fish. Victoria is the only person looking out for Amy, which quite aside from how that affects Amy, means that when Amy is in trouble, she turns to Victoria for help. If Victoria isn't around, then Amy has literally no one. Any friends she has are friends through Victoria, and I doubt the teenage superhuman is on friendly terms with her coworkers at the hospital(though seriously the professionals there should have noticed her issues LONG AGO).

Then we have Amy's power. Which is pushing her to use it in aggressive, selfish, and harmful ways. She's holding that off through sheer force of will, but that's not sustainable.

There's also her physical and mental limits. She's working her power to the limit normally, not sleeping, and straining herself to do more. Which isn't good at the best of times, let alone long-term.

All of which is tied up with the psychological issues package, her self-hate, feelings of inadequacy, severe dichotomous view of the world, etc.

Her crush on Victoria is a problem for her, don't get me wrong. But I don't think it's at all the main source, or even a significant chunk, of what was needed for Amy to screw up SOMETHING.

Here's what I see as needed for Amy to end up going villain(in her eyes and possibly the eyes of the law): A significant crisis that strains her control further, and Amy not being able to talk to Victoria about it. That's it. That leads to Amy losing control of her power and not having anyone around to keep her from doubling down. The specific circumstances in canon(she screws up Victoria, after a month of fighting with her family, post-Endbringer, and then her downfall is pushed along by Jack Slash) is what led to the Victoria flesh-coffin etc, but "Amy breaks someone she can't fix, freaks out, makes things worse" was a pretty logical place for her to end up given...everything.

So how can this be avoided? We can't stop constant crises from occurring, this is Brockton Bay. And the longer things go, the more tired she gets, thus the smaller the needed crisis would be. And fixing her mental issues probably takes a team of professionals a few years.

Step one, therefor, is bulking up her support structure. Doesn't matter if it's Taylor, Lisa, a SI char, having Amy join the Wards/Travellers/Uber and Leet/a book club, whatever. Just have her talking about her life on a regular basis to SOMEONE who she isn't related to. Preferably more than one person, otherwise there's still a risk of her turning a child into a Nilbog creation while her new friend and Victoria are both busy.

Next, we remove her from some of her sources of stress(meaning Carol). Anything you try to do while Carol is still around will just be undone by Carol's pressures.

THEN we introduce the team of professional head-shrinkers. This could happen earlier, since a therapist is one more person Amy can call with "I just screwed up", but I distrust Carol's reaction to her disliked daughter seeking professional help. (and it doesn't have to be a professional TBH, just someone to help work through her issues, but a professional is both trained in not making things worse and also is disconnected from the broader cape community, which lets them be objective in a way that, say, Lisa isn't).

Now I don't think this stops Amy from eventually losing control of her power and hurting someone. And she probably still can't fix it, her shard is canonically a dick. There's enough crises in the Bay to both make her overwork and to make her break her rules at some point, even if it's not specifically the S9 who does it. But if she screws up when she has multiple people she can call for advice, when she's been away from Carol's additional stress, and when someone's been unpacking her list of issues, I think further damage could be prevented and Amy could keep helping people despite the bumps.

[meowsticmarvels]

ok wait dumping this in a tumblr post buuuuut reasons why i think phis autistic as Fuck!!! not structured and a lot of these could be considered a stretch but i just. Think it is a bit real personally . if anyone else cares. some spoilers ahead i think i dont remember where im tired right now but i wouldnt suggest looking at this if you havent finished the game. yeah. :3

- she speaks with a very monotone and flat voice throughout both games she's in (though it's more evident how flat it is in VLR's voice acting). of course she can be emotional at times but like.. in comparison to the other characters shes very inexpressive. multiple of her sprites in VLR are just variations of the :| face . looking at VLR's other sprites which are much more expressive its more her just being like that it seems. i dont think i have to explain why im putting this here she is SO deadpan with her delivery

- speaking of the above when sigma gets stabbed by mira diana's crying while phi has barely a reaction apart from "it might even affect me more than you". It's not that she doesn't FEEL these emotions strongly its just more that she's bad at expressing them. she has a few moments where she's particularly angry (see: her yelling at delta for example, or pushing kyle away) or upset (see the shoot: live end of fire where she breaks down in front of diana, or luna end when sigma abandons her) and it just all falls apart and Breaks yknow. but this is not the norm for her

- she's.. Very blunt . i don't have to explain this. even during vlr itself iirc this makes a couple people go Ummm what the fuck okay

- eric comments rhat she has a really weird stare that unnerves him a bit. this might just be an eric thing or about her doll but listen to me.;

- her ZTD doll is the only one with no mouth whatsoever which could be an allusion to her inability to express her emotions (maybe) (could be a stretch but there are a LOT of interpretations here i can pull my list from twt if anyone wants me to elaborate)

- theres a few moments i can remember (like once or twice) where she makes a super dry joke and people take her completely seriously. it happens at least once in vlr i can confirm though

- the whole thing with her reaction to the luminol reads as a sensory issues thing but i might be crazy on this one

- infodumps. so much. there's multiple moments she tries to but gets cut off before she can but it happens. A lot. especially about anything related to psychology or physics (includes stuff like quantum mechanics, annihilation energy, the prisoner's dilemma, schrodinger's cat alien hand syndrome, etc. she also almost infodumps about missiles once)

- there's some aini short where mizuki's playing vlr. one of the things she says to aiba is like "hey phi's kind of like you aiba! neither of you can read the room!" Mizuki do you know what you are saying. Hey

- a couple additional lines from safe mode dialogue: phi saying she won't do a puzzle because she'll "get her hands dirty" (though it could just be a joke), and another time where sigma says "so there IS a sense of humor behind that mask."

[love-me-a-lotta-whump]

Hello! I'm so glad to see that you're back <3 I was hoping you could help me with something - I'm looking for a new drama to watch but I just can't make it through an episode of anything. I only can afford Viki at the moment, so if you have any favorite dramas from there I would love to hear about them! I'm craving something fast paced with a really engaging storyline, and I tend to get bored quickly with anything political or focused on the law unless it has a LOT of other elements to balance it out. A good amount of whump would be nice but definitely is not a dealbreaker if there is little or no whump. <3 thank you!!

First off: I am SO sorry it took so long to get to you. Yes, this is a recurring theme for me. I'm trying to get better about it.

Secondly: I was almost finished with my reply to you before I accidentally closed out of the tab. "But Emrys, doesn't the computer normally ask if you're sure you want to close out because any changes may not be saved? You still pressed yes?" you ask. YES I KNOW I'M TIRED AND IT'S LATE AND I'M TIRED OKAY!

In all seriousness, though, my apologies for taking so long. I'll be giving you a link to the whump lists I've made, MDL for any further research you may want to do and a rating with a brief description/vibe. - Please note that these are on Viki as of 3.24.25 and may be taken off at any time without my knowledge.

Under the cut obv

🇰🇷Healer >>> {x}

10/10 don't even play with me. Romance, vigilantism, drama, betrayal, action, Ji Chang Wook, I MEAN COME ON! This is one of my top 3 favorite dramas ever. I cannot recommend it more. (MDL)

🇰🇷Flower of Evil >>> {x}

A 9.999999999999/10 for me. His wife (in the above GIF) pissed me off. Long story, you'll get it if you watch the drama. Top 5 kdramas easyyy. My man is on the run but also not, scared, traumatized, a little crazy, a father, etc. This one is so good and is packed with emotional, mental and physical whump. Top-shelf shit. (As someone who has studied psychology for 14 years, I will say I personally do not agree that he has Antisocial Personality Disorder as they say he does in the drama, however, I will say it's possible that if we use the spectrum way of thinking, he would be on it but not as far over as they make him out to be.) (MDL)

🇰🇷Beyond Evil >>> {x}

Honestly this one was a 5/10 for me. I was bored out of my fkn mind watching this but everyone loves it so I'm recommending it purely due to its popularity on the statistical chance you may enjoy it. I can acknowledge it was well written and the acting was fantastic but for some reason I just couldn't enjoy this one. This is basically a BL if you ask the cast and writers. They never straight up say it in the drama but let's be honest. (MDL)

🇰🇷Color Rush >>> {x}

Honestly, this may just be me but this one is a good 7/10. Like it's not amazing but it's not bad. Hyunjun's character(in the GIF) is a little toxic but not to a point where I hate him. This one is a BL and kinda fantasy but not really? It's cute and it's short so not a lot of time to invest and the story moves faster due to its shorter length. (MDL) - also yes there is a season 2 but it fkn sucks don't watch it. Or do you have free will.

🇰🇷The K2 >>> {x}

Another 10/10. Constant whump, action, trauma (accurate depiction of PTSD) Literally no notes this one is amazing. It does slow down sometimes but it does a good job of keeping pace. (MDL)

🇰🇷Joseon Attorney: A Morality >>> {x}

8.5/10. Woo Do Hwan is in it. Perioddddd. Law but during the Joseon period. Literally so good. Comedic but with some whump and darkness to balance it out. Definitely some issues on her part but otherwise good. And again WDH is in it soooooooo (MDL)

🇨🇳The Untamed >> {x}

9/10 LOVE THIS ONE!!! Chinese BL so it's crazy censored but it's great. The two are a black cat (white/blue clothes) and his dumbass tiger (black clothes). The drama is 50 episodes long which depending on your preferences may be too long or not at all. Fortunately, the drama cuts out a lot of the toxicity that can be found in the books. I will say it has the best depiction of PTSD that I have seen in Asian media (intentionally or not). The only reason it's not 10/10 is because people treated my angel with the black clothes a little too shitty but I do understand it's pretty realistic and he did kinda crash out a lot and like hard... but they also blamed him for shit that wasn't his fault and convinced him it was his fkn fault but yeah. (MDL)

-----------------------------

Hope you enjoy bby! <3

[bluechissbrain]

The wave-particle duality of the self in highly masked autism

I don't post my thoughts here often but here goes

With my involvement in disability advocacy and love for neuroscience and psychology reading (I'm working on my PhD in neuroscience), I don't know why it took me this long to finally read "Unmasking Autism" by Dr. Devon Price, but I finally did. I think I would recommend it for anyone interested in neurodiversity, especially for those new to the idea of themself as a potentially autistic person.

It's full of great stories, information, and advice. For me personally, I felt struck with the realization that the people-pleasing mask I have worn all my life to be as successful as I am goes much deeper than smothering my outwardly autistic traits or even the internalized ableism and other deep underlying struggles that I work on with my therapist.

My "self" is like a photon.

When I'm being observed, I exist in particle form whether I like it or not. I have an idea of what kind of person I am or at least the message/aesthetic I am putting out to the people around me. There's something concrete to who I am and what I'm doing. It doesn't have to be direct observation either; working on something that I know others will see or grade is also sufficient to draw me into some reality or some idea of what my goals and values are.

When I'm not being observed, then I'm the wavelength, suddenly non-corporeal. Untethered. I behave differently. I don't follow the same rules. Maybe that's partially being unmasked. Maybe it's partially internalized ableism that I don't like being in this state. But I find myself seeking external observation to be able to interact with my self concept and the physical world, or else I get stuck inside my head. It's paralyzing.

I need to work on projects that can be assessed or seen by others. I need my husband in the room while I do basic tasks around the house. I need to have in-person events or meetings to attend where I can think about how I want to present myself in order to conceptualize what I look like.

Here I am, typing this out here where I know other people might see it, so I can enter particle-mode just enough to put my feelings into words.

There are many things I know help me and make me feel better (yoga, brushing my teeth, etc.) when my mental health is low, but the moment I am unobserved and attempting to do these things at home, the moment I am alone with only my own thoughts, it feels impossible to do anything that involves physically operating my flesh mech.

I'd like to think I have strong values and strong ideas of where I would like to go in my life. But does that constitute who I am? How do allistic people have a sense of who they are? Do autistic people who don't mask so strongly have a sense of selfhood outside of the observation of other people? Do other formerly high-masking autistic people have any advice or relate to this metaphor?

I'm sure growing up in a very rigid environment that discouraged self-exploration as a teen doesn't help with this issue. But I can't help but feel a deep concern that it's too late for me to do the exploration it would take to figure out who I am. I'm an adult with a serious job and serious relationships. And the people in my life have a defined idea of what kind of person I am.

It's exhausting to be so tired and stressed by interacting with others, but yet needing to be observed by others to be able to interact with myself and be productive. Neurodivergent communities (and my amazing neurodivergent husband) have been helpful for this because they are less exhausting to interact with, but still: I want to know who I am when no one else is around.

Maybe the fact that I even care enough to try to find out means I'm headed in the right direction.

[sah-crescentmoon]

Short story under cut. The short story ended up being 1,800+ words long. And this story is a bit dark (it’s not the worst thing at all. It’s just sad really).

Understanding:

Iseul was becoming increasingly worried about one hedgehog, Dalnim. She had seen a lot of the new recruits improve a lot in recent times, but Dalnim was falling behind a lot. She knows that there can be any factors into why, but it still irked her. Iseul wanted to know what was going on. She tried asking the other hedgehogs who perhaps came from the same village as him. But no one had much information on him. And those who did know were reluctant to talk about him. Iseul wondered what her sister would do if she was in this position.

“Iseul, you want to talk about it?” Danbi asked. Iseul wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “Come on, please? It’ll make you feel better.” Iseul gave her older sister a side eye, but Danbi was not fazed by it. Iseul later spoke to her sister on how she felt that the other kids were being mean to her. Danbi listened to her little sister. “You should try talking to them. You can’t assume things about others without trying to find out anything,” Danbi whispered and hugged her. Iseul nodded.

That’s it! If no one will talk to her about him, then maybe she can just talk to him! One problem though, Dalnim was too quiet. Even quieter than her. He often did anything to avoid talking to others even during teamwork activities. Would he even be open to talking to her about what is bothering him? Iseul knew that she would never know until she tried it. With some newfound determination, she left the room to look for that hedgehog.

“Dalnim.” Dalnim jumped and turned to look at her. He held his hands around his chest. Iseul immediately took note of his eyebags. Another thing to add to the list of her concerns about him. Dalnim blinked. Iseul cleared her throat. That’s right, he’s waiting for her to talk. “I need to speak to you about your performance. You and I know that it isn’t the best. I wonder if the issue is more psychological than physical.” Dalnim remained quiet. But even with his tired eyes, Iseul could tell he was a bit shocked. So, it was more psychological. She grabbed him and walked. They needed fresh air.

Iseul and Dalnim now were at a meadow away from base. The wind lightly blew, and the sun shined strongly. Iseul hated clear skies, but she knew she had something more important to deal with. She turned to look at him. Dalnim seemed to be refreshed with the new environment.

“Dalnim, can you tell me why you are not sleeping? Your eyebags are pretty noticeable,” Iseul asked. She wanted to get right to the core of the problem. However, she felt off about it. She never actually spoke to Danbi until they got to know one another. So, she knew she can’t be too direct.

“I-I’m just having trouble sleeping,” Dalnim whispered. He placed his hand around his chest. Is this a nervous response of his? Iseul blinked. She wasn’t expecting him to actually respond. And she did not believe what he said. He was very skittish. She narrowed her eyes. Dalnim seemed to be even more nervous. Before Iseul could call him out, he spoke. “Nightmares.”

“Huh? Nightmares? What kind?” Iseul asked. Dalnim looked at her but looked away. Iseul took the hint. “H-Have you tried to talk to someone about it? How about your sister?” Iseul asked. She had learned earlier on that Dalnim had an elder sister like her. Dalnim shook his head intensely. Why was he overreacting?

“I can’t talk to her. We… are not on speaking terms,” Dalnim responded. Iseul was a bit annoyed. How are you not on speaking terms? Doesn’t Dalnim understand how precious family is? Iseul would do anything to be able to hear her sister speaking nonstop about plants again. Dalnim seemed to have noticed this. But he did not say anything as if he was waiting for her to speak.

“Why? Having a family is a blessing. I should know,” Iseul said. There was no need to get into her past with him. Dalnim looked troubled and looked her in the eyes.

“Not all families are good. Not all siblings are good.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Do you know how many families wish to have their relatives back? Wouldn’t your parents be ashamed of this?” Iseul snapped. Deep inside, she knew that Dalnim was right. She just didn’t want to believe it. Dalnim smiled, but it was somewhat unsettling. It was pissing her off. However, that smile dropped.

“My parents are dead. My father died in battle. And I am the reason my mother is dead,” Dalnim said. He sighed. “My sister made sure to let me know that I killed my mother.” Iseul was getting more confused. What was he going on about? How was he responsible for his mother’s death?

“Can you please tell me everything?” Dalnim nodded.

“As long as you don’t tell anyone about this.”

The wind howled; the leaves rustled along with it. The pouring rain drenched at the siblings who stood in front of each other, staring in silence. With the crack of a lightning, it sparked the ever-growing tension into an argument.

Noeul stomped closer to Dalnim, who could only step backwards away from his older sister. His action seemed to anger his sister even more as she grabbed his shirt.

"You coward. How can you be afraid of your own sister!" She shouted. Dalnim could only stare at her. His eyes watering, to which he thanked the ran for hiding this fact. "You've always been like this. A pathetic coward who's pretending to be this so-called pacifist. You're nothing, but a naive brat who is too stubborn to look at the truth straight on!"

Dalnim took a deep breath in. "I'm naive? M-Maybe I am, but at least I am brave enough to have different opinions! Do you not realize how much harder it is to think differently? Why do I have to give myself up just to please others?" Dalnim cried. His sister narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth, but Dalnim continued. "You're so mean! You pretend to be this nice and understanding woman, but you never tried to understand me!" Dalnim could now feel the warmth of his tears falling. His sister scoffed.

"Understand what? There's nothing to understand! You are so stupid. You complain on how this war is useless and how it can be resolved peacefully? Tell me then! What the fuck are you doing to try to end this war?! Nothing! You can't end a war that the other side wants! So, stop spewing out your delusional fantasies!" Noeul hissed. Dalnim looked away. He couldn't look her in the eyes anymore. He felt heart pounding. Noeul then pushed Dalnim away. "Did you forget that we were only able to live a decent life because of the villagers here? They could have turned their backs on us when we became orphans, but they didn't!"

Dalnim knew where she was going with that. He knew exactly what he was going to say. And she isn't wrong. "I-I get what you are saying but-"

"But what?! Argh, you piss me off so much! You always try to pretend to be this neutral person when you aren't! You can never be! Is it so hard to just serve in the army as a form of thanking everyone?! As a way to protect your home?!" Dalnim lowered his head. He knew that this was her way of thanking the villagers. And while he felt the same, he just felt he could do so without compromising his beliefs. Plus, there was one thing that held him back more than anything.

"You never tried to listen to one thing. I just don't like to think about dying in a battlefield when I-"

"Shut up. Just shut up! Not this shit again! Dalnim, we are all going to die one day! We don't get to choose when! Dad died protecting our home and I know he would die on that battlefield again and again! And mom... she died because of you!" Nouel shouted as she slapped him.

"Excuse me?! It's not like I wanted her to die when giving birth to me! It wasn't like I was thinking "oh, I hope you die haha"! How fucking dare, you!" Dalnim shouted and swore for the first time in this argument. What he didn't expect was him slapping his older sister. His heart was pounding so much that he could no longer hear the thunder. Noeul looked at him with shock then fury. She gritted her teeth.

"If you hadn't been born then she would still be here! I feel so sorry for Mom that she died thinking she was doing what was best for her child, not knowing you weren't worth it. She died for nothing and even gave you her most precious possession! Which makes it even worse. You can never amount to anything and it's a shame she's dead instead of you," Noeul hissed. Dalnim slapped his sister again. This time, his sister hit him back. Before they knew it, they were physically fighting each other while hurling insults at one another. And the next, they were being pulled apart by soldiers and taken to separate locations.

Dalnim finished telling Iseul about the past. Iseul sighed. How cruel to tell your own brother that he didn’t deserve to be born. Now, instead of feeling frustrated with Dalnim, she felt anger towards Noeul. Iseul could only hope that she regretted every word she had said.

“If… If I hadn’t been born- “

“Don’t say that. You’re disrespecting your mom by saying that.” Dalnim had tears falling from his eyes. He turned to look at her. Iseul's heart broke and she knew if her sister was here the she would have started crying.

“It’s true! My mom really did die for nothing! Look at me! I’m just a shameful son who can’t do shit! I’m weak and a coward! I can never make my parents proud! I wasted their lives! Everyone would have been happier without me! I should have never been born!” Dalnim cried. Finally, it seemed all the pent-up emotions had broken through the walls that Dalnim tried to build. Iseul sighed. Who knew words could really cut that deep.

“I’m sure your mother still loves you. She gave her life up for you, so it's an insult to say such stuff.” Iseul’s words were lost as Dalnim slumped over. He passed out. It was at this moment that Iseul noticed a ring around his neck. Now she knew why he held his chest so much. It was this ring. His mother must have left it for him. She really did care about him. Iseul hoped that one day Dalnim would notice that. “Have a nice nap. As soon as you wake up, I’m making you train. So, sleep as long as possible.” Dalnim only snored in response.

--------------------------------

Note: Originally this was two seperate stories. But, I merged it all in one here. And Noeul isn't a bad person, but she isn't good either. This will be the last dark story for a while. I want to write more fun stories about Dalnim and Iseul. Also because I made someone cry with how sad the story was. My boyfriend also said that it was a sad story. I also do need to introduce a new OC.

[shoukiko]

Hi, you can keep this unanswered and not post it, but I want to help you understand the thought behind some of the points in your criticism post. Before I start I want to apologise if I come off as blunt and rude, that's not my intention and I'll try my best to show my tone as unthreatening but I'm autistic and not a native English speaker, which complicates things lol

*general you used throughout the ask

First, I want to start with this: they all are part of the army. You don't need to dig much to see you'll rarely see a "morally upstanding" person in the army, be it because they're cheaters, abusers, compliant with all that or they're (insert -ist/-phobe category here). UK military spouses are 3 times more likely to experience intimate partner violence (IPV). I'm not saying the COD characters need to be written like that, but it wouldn't be "unrealistic" if we take real life statistics into account.

Second, and maybe the most important thing, everyone writes COD characters OOC. The majority of the active fandom on Tumblr and tiktok have seen gifs and 10min out of context clips from the game at best. It's to be expected to not frequently find something actually in character for a lot of the guys. Especially with characters that are just operators like König, Nikto and Krueger. In their case everything is and isn't OOC at the same time because we just... Don't know these characters. We lack characterisation past maybe 1-3 traits about them. I'd argue that's why the fandom liked König so much, other than being masked, he's the perfect paper doll! You can dress him up in whatever characterisation you want and it probably won't contradict his canon (because he barely has one and what he has is quickly misinterpreted (anxiety disorder turning into shyness for example)).

Now specifically on your "How are you going to hc a victim as the abuser?" - simple, whether you like to accept it or not is up to you, but it's not far fetched for victims to become abusers later in life. Just look at serial killers statistics - 74% of US serial killers were psychologically abused and 42% were physically abused as children and later in life followed a similar pattern brought to an extreme. Or on the other hand, a tamer example would be generational trauma because that's how we get that (grandparent was abused and because that's all they know, they implement it in bringing up their child who, for the same reason, implements it in bringing up the grandchild and so on).

The final thing I want to say is, it's good to block people who you don't vibe with. Doesn't matter if it's because they wrote something that personally disturbed you or you simply don't like their blog theme or you see them too often in the tag. Personally curating your experience is key in fandom, utilise the tools Tumblr has given us. Of course as you and others have mentioned that's impossible without some assistance from the other side. Tagging is extremely important (tagging with the correct words without censoring!!! Or the filter won't catch! Rape, noncon, incest ✅; r@pe, n*nc*n, 1nc*st ✖️✖️).

I hope this isn't too messy or long aaaa

I really appreciate you taking the time to type this up and actually speak to me about this, your input is very appreciated. /gen

I do think I could've done better on that post since I wrote it in the heat of the moment, all characters are written OOC and it was ignorant of me to say

"Maybe read the characters backstories and actually take their past into consideration because you guys kinda look dumb for making these characters so OOC."

I hope ya'll can really take the time to see my POV, I did not mean. any harm, I've come across some gross things, but blocking and filtering tags so much as begun to be tiring.

My main issue is tagging, without tagging I am left with getting triggered by random posts because the first few sentences may include something on my trigger list.

That's all I want and also what a lot of other people want.

Writing is meant for anyone and everyone, a form of art and perhaps a for of therapy.

Please tag your work, you are not the only person on the internet.

Thank you for reading!

[nerogurl]

Hello! Can I have Fear and Hunger 2 matchup? :3 I am both okay with both genders! (I enjoy toxic relationships but if its not up your alley then I totally undersand! :) )

Age: 19

Polish

She/her

Full typology: ExFJ 2w3 269 sp/so SLUAI FELV

Personality:

I am pretty social, however I prefer to spend time alone! I care about others a lot… To an unhealthy amount honestly but I'm working on it! I love to help others and make them smile. When my helping and gets unnoticed I might get upset because I just want to be appreciated. Like I said before I want to be noticed and not ignored! I care too much about what others feel and think and it's tiring, I just want to be selfish and care about myself sometimes even if it sounds mean. I also love being mentioned/involved in things, it makes me feel liked!

People call me funny! Well it all depends because everyone has a different sense of humor! But I am most of the time unserious and I love to joke around, serious situations are stressful so I prefer to be joyful, but I do like talking about serious topics (sometimes) Like I said before I love to make people smile and laugh with my jokes and overall make them happy with my presence.

My humor is definitely not for everyone, it's mostly the humor of a 12 y/o kid which can be annoying to some people lmao (sometimes it's funny how people are annoyed by it) and some other things depending on how I feel. When it comes to annoyance I also like to annoy people, it's so fun! But I never want to make them really feel bad! I often act like an asshole but this is just for jokes! (but sometimes I just want to be a real asshole but then I will feel bad anyways-) Like I said I don't want them to actually feel bad, if I do, I will feel very guilty! When it comes to it I apologize A LOT, I apologize so much that it might too annoying but I always feel a sense of guilt inside of me. I'm also VERY sensitive and worry about everything. Ah and I'm pretty dumb and I am not trying to insult myself I am just silly hehe and I'm okay with that. Oh and Im very clumsy

People know that I am horny 24/7, like I said earlier I have a humor of a 12 y/o so there are a lot of sex jokes. I am very interested in nsfw things, kinks etc, I am the "horny" friend

Someone can be mad at me a bit and I would about to cry already. Cute things makes me also want to cry... Overall like I said I am very sensitive. I feel guilty about everything 24/7 even if I shouldn't feel guilty

I also have anger issues and its very easy to make me angry.

I'm both weak physically and mentally.

Its probably because of my mental health issues but I tend to be unmotivated to even do simple things. I often procrastinate and its very hard for me to start doing things

My biggest love language is words of affirmation, I would say "I love you" and stuff like that very often. The second one is probably physical touch, but sometimes I might not be in a mood but otherwise I love hugs and kisses!

Likes/Dislikes:

I LOVE LOVE horror and scary things, I can't imagine my life without it, its just a such interesting genre that makes me happy and intrigued! I adore horror games and I'm mostly interested in them, however most of the time I am scared of playing them so I just watch gameplays and stuff like that haha. You can say I am obssesed with horror! (its funny because its easy to scare me haha)

I love to eat food! especially sweet things

I also love cute things! Plushies, pink, clothes and other cute things! I just love it so much!

I like games very much (I suck at them), art, anime, drawing and psychology! When it comes to music I love energetic ones!

I also love voice acting and overall acting! People say im good at it :3 When acting I usually play comic relief characters. I can also make a "cutesy" voice

I dislike slow music but there can be some exceptions.

I dislike cooking (I love when someone knows to cook however I suck at it

Appearance:

Around 156 cm height

Chubby

brown eyes

chin length wavy hair with bangs

round glasses

Thank you so much and I hope you have a great day/night!

Thank you for the response! First, we have the ladies! I was heavily conflicted between Marina & Abella at first, but after a while of thinking I decided Abella is your match!

The first thing that pulled me between these two choices is that they both share a more juvenile sense of humor. There's an interaction between the two joking about an icecream monster. Distracting from the horror of their circumstances, with silly humour to uplift the mood, fits exactly with how you describe how you try to comfort others. However, Abella is more emotionally compatible for someone you can depend on. She's a rock of emotional support, a kind strong leader.

Abella's moonscorch represents an 'elephant in a teapot shop.' Used to being assigned the role of the protector due to her physique, she's insecure about being incompetent with her nurturing, motherly side. Which we know is far from the truth! Being so open about your emotions, she would feel a strong urge to protect you. And bring so openly affectionate, with your words of affirmation, would help her feel more comfortable in her own skin.

A love of mystery and adventure, Abella would like supernatural themed horror and games like Silent Hill and Resident Evil. Enjoy anime like Studio Ghibli, One Piece, Death Note, Code Geass.

A complete and total cuddlebug and a diehard romantic. She'll sometimes carry you around bridal style for fun.

As for male characters I chose Pav. I remember what you wrote about a preference for toxic relationship dynamics. While I'm not comfortable with shipping intentionally abusive relationships, I am comfortable with shipping a relationship that involves an emphasis on personal growth. So for the purpose of this matchup I am specifically shipping you with Pav post-Kaiser encounter.

Someone that's learned to cope with the horrors of war by shutting down his emotions, Pav considers kindness synonymous with weakness. The type to also enjoy getting a rise out of people, once you'd reciprocate his teasing he'd get along with you, but he'd never acknowledge you. But like Pav said, 'everyone's sorry staring down the barrel of a gun.' After saving him from Kaiser he'd be forced to take you seriously. Your kindness, care, worry, anger, would eventually ware him down to the point he'd find you endearing.

As a man in the military I think he could tolerate a high dosage of horror. Your reactions and banter are part of the entertainment for him, without it, I don't think he'd care. When watching horror movies he'll point out how 'unrealistic' the gore is or describe what it would *actually* look like during tense parts of the film with a sadistic smile on his face.

His cooking would be the bare minimum to get by. When he realises you don't know how to cook either he's going to force you to learn along side him. If he's going to suffer through it, so are you.

If you ever took the teasing too far or vice versa, he's going to pretend he's fine while shutting himself away and dissociating. He's too stubborn to directly admit he's in the wrong or that he's hurting.

His love language is acts of service. He's going to apologise indirectly by cooking you something to eat, doing the house chores, ect. Your interest in psychology is going to help him through his trauma when he's ready. Like a scared cat, he'll allow you just to get a *little* bit closer... Your constant positive reinforcement, verbal affirmations, will demonstrate how to express what he feels. You'll need to be very patient.

He's also very *very* horny. If you could equate a man whose been locked in prison his whole life to a man that's been forced into the military nearly his whole life, I think you can get the picture.

Pav's taste in woman is canon to be on the curvy side and I think all of your physical traits are the type of person he'd be attracted to; your height, your glasses, cutesy aesthetic, the voice. You could play the role of the damsel, he could play hero and carry you around like a burlap sack.

Tldr; Abella & Pav, but overall I think that Pav is your best match.

[nickeverdeen]

Hello! Can I get an arcane matchup, please? :3 if not, that's totally fine!

she/her. I can go both with girls and boys! :3

I am pretty social, however I prefer to spend time alone! I care about others a lot… To an unhealthy amount honestly but I'm working on it! I care too much about what others feel and think and it's tiring, I just want to be selfish sometimes and care about myself even if it sounds mean.

I am most of the time unserious and I love to joke around, serious situations are stressful so I prefer to be joyful, but I do like talking about serious topics (sometimes)

I apologize A LOT, I apologize so much that it might too annoying but I always feel a sense of guilt inside of me. I'm also VERY sensitive and worry about everything. Ah and I'm pretty dumb and I am not trying to insult myself I am just silly hehe and I'm okay with that.

I am very sensitive and its easy to make me cry! Someone can be mad at me a bit and I would about to cry already. Cute things makes me also want to cry… Overall like I said I am very sensitive. I feel guilty about everything 24/7 even if I shouldn't feel guilty thats why I apologize so much. I also have anger issues and its very easy to make me angry.

My biggest love language is words of affirmation, I would say "I love you" and stuff like that very often. The second one is probably physical touch, but sometimes I might not be in a mood but otherwise I love hugs and kisses!

I LOVE LOVE horror and scary things, I can't imagine my life without it, its just a such interesting genre that makes me happy and intrigued!

I like games very much (I suck at them), art, anime, drawing and psychology! When it comes to music I love energetic ones!

I dislike cooking (I love when someone knows to cook however I suck at it

Thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Hi, I’m probably blind or smth, but what fandoms?

[mysteriawrites]

Hello ,can I request a TWST matchup please !? And thank you .

**Appearance:**

I'm a 5'5" Arab girl (165cm) (she/her, straight )who wears a hijab. I am a brunette with big, light brown eyes and red-framed glasses. People often say I have a soothing aura when they look into my eyes. My face is round with a kind of heart shape with big cheeks, a small nose, and cute defined lips. I'm pale cause I mostly stay at home and avoid getting a tan. I have a lot of beauty marks on my face . I have eyebags, which might be due to anemia, and I always look tired unless i use blush ,tho i dislike the texture of makeup on my skin (but i do care about my skin by applying skincare ,but i dont do it very often 😅)people say I am cute and pretty but it's hard for me to believe them (insecurities and self doub go brr...)

**Hobbies:**

drawing, (sketches mostly) ,I plan to learn colour theory to start painting. I adore all forms of art, paintings , music , sculptures..ect (I love everything that is beautiful ,plus everything is beautiful in its own way).I enjoy reading. Although it's been a while since I found a book that peeked my interest ,I mostly read fanfics recently . Video games hold a special place in my heart, I LOVE the different art styles and plots in each game. I like anime, but I've been too busy lately to watch. I have some sewing skills, mostly for patching things up, but I want to sew clothes and learn crochet in the future. Crafting is another hobby I enjoy, I am good with my hands. I love learning new stuff. biology ,psychology, and physics r my fav subjects(i like learning about anatomy whether it's animal's or human's +plants in the medical field +my fav scientist is Nicolas Tesla). I speak 3 languages: Arabic (native), French, and English. I plan to learn Spanish, Italian, or German next, depending on my mood. I'm a quick learner and adapt easily to different situations(that's something I admire and take pride in) While I can cook simple dishes like pasta and eggs, I'm not skilled at cooking savory foods.but in baking ,if you give me a recipe, i will make the most delicious desserts you've ever tasted(but quiet ironically i hate cooking ,i only do it if i am forced to), lemon tart is my fav due to my sweet tooth.

I forgot to mention my love for horror movies and games(they dont even scare me . Even though I am a good swimmer, I have thalassophobia (ironic), but i do like me some facts about marine biology, with jellyfishes, anglerfishes, and Caribbean reef octopuses being my favorites.

**Personality:**

My personality is quite flexible and depends on both the people I'm with and my mood. When I'm outside , I tend to feel anxious, although I do my best not to show it. I come across as calm, chill, and reserved, often giving off a "don't approach me" vibe, but I'm friendly and won't reject anyone who wants to chat, although I dislike small talk and feel a bit uneasy around boys. I've had trust issues due to past betrayals, so I'm cautious with my relationships now (whether it is friends or family ,no lover tho ,don't get me wrong i can be quiet the romantic but the only man that I would probably get attached to would be fictional for sure lol)

With my close friends, I'm more open, bright, and cheerful. I talk a lot about my interests, sharing random facts (they call me a nerd). I'm caring and sweet toward my friends, and my love languages include gift-giving, physical touch, and acts of service. I give them presents and hugs, always respecting their boundaries.

I would describe myself as creative, passionate, and smart, with a hint of perfectionism. I admit I am lazy and unmotivated more often than i like (i can't help it). I am an INTP-T, Enneagram 5w4, and a Libra. I'm also an older sister.

I am a burnt-out gifted kid , but I try to be the best version of myself whether academically ,mentally or physically(i admit i do feel down thinking that i am never gonna make it ,but i always try to push these thoughts aside but most of the time they get the best of me sadly).I often feel I'll never be good enough for my mother (she has high standards for me that I can never seem to meet). I was bullied cause of my looks and weight, which made me depressed and anorexic for a year. Thankfully, I've changed a lot over time, tho it affected me making me antisocial, having trust issues and insecurities. I like energy drinks. My music taste varies from pop, alt/indie, classical( my fav pieces are moonlight sonata 3rd movement, danse macabre , in the hall of the mountain king and la campanella ) ,jazz, to rock/metal, with a particular love for rock & roll. Comfortable baggy clothes are my go-to(makes me feel good in my own skin) , and I can be quite sarcastic with a sharp tongue at times. Once I get comfortable with someone, you'll find I'm pretty blunt and honest .I am polite and respectful .I can also be stubborn and a pessimist if I am not in a good mood . I like cats, and I am afraid of dogs and horses and can't stand people who underestimate me .I have inferiority AND superiority complex (but mostly inferiority)

Hello hello thank you for the request (first hijabi request I’ve gotten which makes me happy cause i wear hijab too ❤️) sorry this took 80 years my life is on fire.

Anyway without further ado DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

VIL SCHOENHEIT!!!

You and Vil are surprisingly similar which makes it easier for you two to click than with most other people. You both try your absolute hardest to be the best people you can be and see the beauty in the world around you although while he tries to bring out the beauty in things you see beauty in the way they already were.

You and Vil met during alchemy class after you dropped into Twisted Wonderland. At first Vil was his usual perfectionist self: ordering you around and being controlling about how to do your project, but once you showed him your alchemic proficiency he was genuinely impressed.

Ever since then not only did you capture his respect, but also his intrigue. Despite being as busy as he is, when he had the time he would try to learn more about who you were by either word of mouth or asking your friends (Rook offered to “observe you” but Vil voted against it for it is rude and creepy).

One day while he was on a run he saw you under a tree practicing your sewing. He decided this was a good opportunity to strike up a conversation with you given he knew a thing or two about clothes.

He walked over and gave you some advice about your stitching. Sadly it came off a lot more condescending then he would like and it rubbed you the wrong way which lead you to giving him the cold shoulder but tried to politely dismiss yourself.

You know those guys that are more intrigued by those who aren’t interested in them? Yeah that’s Vil even if he’ll never admit it. The more you ignore or avoid him the more he wants to make amends and try to impress you.

Until one day where you’re in a particularly bad mood you have an outburst about how him not giving you space makes you uncomfortable due to old wounds and ask what his deal was.

This made him realize his behavior towards you was unfair and disrespectful. He didn’t take your feelings or comfort into account at all. He is as ashamed with himself.

He stood before you and gave a genuine and sincere apology before walking away.

You don’t know how or why, but his apology moved you. He’s not like other guys you’ve met before. You could tell that he felt genuine remorse and met every word of what he said

A week later you two run into each other again and make awkward small talk. You can tell that he still feels bad about what he did, so you propose that you guys start over as true friends.

And he agrees.

After that you slowly but surely grow closer and closer. Bonding over shared passions and views, before long Vil is falling in love with you. You’re not his first crush, but you’re the first one he truly feels love and affection for. Not just a relationship for the press or screens.

And so he asks you out like a classic fairytale prince for a fancy private dinner. And although you accept you let him know that he doesn’t need to do something so extravagant, that you would be happy no matter what. That takes him by surprise, but it’s not an unwelcome one.

You and Vil are like an old married couple once you finally get together.

Always bantering about how you both need to take better care of yourselves. It’s wholesome and funny at the same time.

Because he can’t always spend a lot of time with you, his love language is gift giving and acts of service. What better way to spend his money than on you. He gets you things he sees you eyeing in the store or on your wishlist or things that make your day a bit easier.

Since he’s not the best at showing it he wants to make sure you know you’re loved even without words.

Your dates usually consist of simple things like cooking at home where you have full privacy.

He is the Queen and you are the King/Queen/Royal at his side.

[his-tamine]

life update :3 (a little vent-y)

sooo, been over 200 days since the house caught fire and we had to move. obviously, a lot of stuff's been happening. can't go into deep details for fear of someone I don't want to find this, finding this, but I'll say this much: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've very rarely mentioned family on here (for obvious reasons - this account is NOT made for that lol) but here goes. tw for pretty heavy topics: mentions of abuse, father issues, health issues, transphobia & financial issues. I turned 18 Feb 21st, literally just almost 2 months before the damn house caught fire. Meanwhile, my brother's still a minor. MEANING, I narrowly escaped the custody battle my mom & dad are in. But unfortunately, he's still stuck in the middle of it. :( My pops was not really the nicest person to me when I was a kid -

whooping my ass whenever I did anything wrong, no matter how minor the offense was.

Telling me that he loved God more than he loved me, because "You're God's gift to me. God is the one who gave you to me in the first place," when I was four.

Telling me that if I didn't start being ok with receiving physical affection from family - which he knew made me uncomfortable - I was "going to grow up to be a S3R1AL K1LL3R" (yes he said that.)

Telling me that "God doesn't make mistakes," and that he "made me into a beautiful young woman for a reason" after I came out to him personally at 14 - big mistake 0/10 stars, would never do again. You get the idea. And those are the tame examples I could think of. So, I finally cut him off. As soon as my mom, brother, & I were in our new place, I blocked his number and haven't talked to him since. I was sick of him not respecting my boundaries, and repeatedly demonstrating that he thought of me as nothing more than a possession. Tired of him making me feel crazy all the time too. But now he's fucking with my mom & brother. Intentionally not paying child support till the last minute possible - & then making it in as small of payments at a time as he possibly can (yes he can afford it btw.) Trying to force my brother to go over to his place, even when my brother does NOT want to - which has begun giving my brother psychological issues & issues with school, mirroring the ones I used to struggle with bc of that bastard. My mom is juggling all sorts of things, & I really at least wanna try to help financially by getting a job, but I can't yet because: she says that I'm only 18, & shouldn't have to get a job to help out (I disagree.) I don't have an ID bc she wants me to wait on my legal name change - which costs a pretty decent chunk of change - reason is bc she "wants me to have as easy an early adulthood life as possible" (love her.) AND, I haven't actually graduated - No, I dipped in 11th bc school was hell (not exaggerating,) & instead just decided to pursue a GED, that I haven't been able to work towards bc of the shit show that is life in midwestern america. So I've been very depressed, exhausted, & hopeless. The least I can do is clean up our house while she's at work, & get this - some days I don't even have the physical energy to do THAT! I do not know what the hell is wrong with my body currently, but it absolutely sucks. & I'm really tired of just taking up space all the time. She's dealing with health issues too, & I'm always worried ab her. Idk what the hell to do, but something's gotta give. Everybody needs a fucking break. I keep trying to shoo away all the dark thoughts, push myself as often as possible, & keep my fingers crossed, but jfc... Sorry just needed to yell into the void for a sec. I'll live, I'm sure - I've survived worse. Sometimes things just suck. But I like to think that someday they won't. :,)

[bnha-more-like-bnh-gay]

So, for a couple of years now, I've been reading the old X-Men comics of the 70s & 80s, and a few recent issues from '87 have given me a great idea for an AU.

Ready?

Dazzler!Izuku 😀

So, Izuku is born with a quirk that allows him to transform sound into photonic energy. Anything from generating benign blobs of light that move, pulsate, and change color in relation to whatever music he's listening to (tho, this can be weaponized too; during the sludge villain attack, Izuku overwhelms the villain's eyes with a fantastic light show that leaves him catatonic), to concentrating a single, loud noise into a laser beam that deals concussive damage.

Izuku would, of course, gravitate towards Present Mic as a mentor. And he would team up well with Jirou.

So, what do you think?

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY TO, SCHOOL AND MY MENTAL HEALTH FUCKED ME OVER. I have had half of this in my queue for about 3 months, ya bitch was just burnt tf out 💀

But dude, I absolutely fucking love this 😭😭

Heads up, my knowledge of physics is limited so I’m not going to be talking much about the actual details of his quirk until after I learn more about it, but I hope you enjoy!!!

Izuku who makes physics jokes.

He has shirts with physics puns on them. A shirt that says, “the photon checked into the hotel and was asked if it had any bags, it said, “no thanks, I’m traveling light!”

Reminds me of the time I was dual enrolling and in my psychology class, I said, “I once asked the librarian if she had a book on Pavlov’s dog and Schrödinger’s cat. She said it rung a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not!”

I thought I was so funny, but everyone else hated me.

Izuku is that kid. He does that shit

Inko loves it, she thinks her son is hilarious. Mic loves it. The little lister is so smart! Nezu has a goddamn field day. Aizawa is so tired, but secretly likes the jokes. He face palms every time and acts like it’s the end of the world, but he does like them. Midnight thinks it’s great, she asks izuku for more jokes/puns all the time. Mainly to annoy Aizawa. But still. BRUH, MISS JOKE. SHE LOVES THIS LITTLE SHIT. I honestly feel like all might wouldn’t understand most of them, but he’d love them anyway.

Izuku: I was studying frequencies, but now my brain Hertz.

He accidentally freaks people out the first few weeks in the dorm because they’re not used to it/expecting it.

The number of times mina asks for mood lighting

I really want to drive home that he makes an unholy amount of puns

He doesn’t even try to, it just happens so naturally. Shouto has theorized that it’s a secondary quirk.

You have spoken directly to my soul with mentor mic (and Jirou/izuku friends)

They’d all work so well together though

Mic brings him to Put Your Hands Up Radio not only to work with his quirk, but to help with his nerves

It is no secret that izuku is a nervous lad, but I raise you, mic was also a nervous lad (personal headcanon, but you cannot tell me that lad doesn’t have generalized anxiety)

Mic helps izuku gain some coping mechanisms (or coping mic-anisms if you will (thank you, thank you))

Mic is a nerd, izuku is a nerd, Jirou is cool, but a nerd. Jirou, similar to Aizawa, rolls her eyes at the physics puns, but does she think they’re funny? Yes. Yes, she does. They defends izuku when people mock his puns

Mic couldn’t be prouder of his children

Thank you for the ask! I hope you enjoyed! Sorry it was kinda short 😅

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, thank you so much for your blog. You're the only source i trust when it comes to mbti. I don't know my type. I know I'm Fi-Te but not sure if I'm ESFP or ENFP.

I'm very imaginative but i guess is because of wanting life to be more interesting and at the moment I can't be very present oriented because i want my present to change and i can't right now (because of lack of financial independence - I know i need a job a job, I'm searching), so i just make up fake scenarios inside my head usually accompanied with great music.

Also I've realized that getting outside of my head is good for my mental health even if it's just going to the grocery store or watching netflix (I tend to stay at home, i still live with my parents and I don't want to go out alone without friends and my friends are usually unavailable).

So, can ESFPs have their head in the clouds and be imaginative just because they like it? I want to create stories (but writing is always boring so I don't do it) and i love learning history, psychology, philosophy and I like to learn about society but then we have to ask why do i do this things, like you said, and i think the answer is "because i like it and it's fun", so it is that Se-Ni? I don't want to stay in my head forever because I've done it many years already and I had enough, I want to live my life and to explore my freedom but ENFPs also want that so I'm confused.

Also it's strange to think I'm Si inf since it's a function you'll only use well way later in life (I'm 26) and I like to be careful sometimes and I have a lot of life-learned lessons and I would hate to make the same mistakes again because it would lead to more sadness and i had enough of it (i had severe depression for years at the past + self-loathing issues because of bullying at school and emotional neglected parents). I also like some past techniques because they work, if they don't then that's when we should think of something new.

So I might be ESFP even though not a stereotypical one because of childhood and environmental factors.

I tend to do what I like without thinking if it's a good decision of not because I just wanna do it, which includes A LOT of imagination but I'm getting tired of it because I want to go to new places and what's better than creating a great story is living one.

I can live outside of my head when my reality is one that I like but I'm using imagination as long as I can remember since I'm a little kid. I like to talk to people about ideas but I've changed a lot because i grew up and I've realized that not everything in life needs to be changed, you can just appreciate the great things you have now like music, photography, love, friendship, food and i want to do all the things i haven't done yet, like dating, going out at night, sleepovers, etc).

When on grip I tend to think about the stuff that hurted me or get paranoid about people hurting me, i guess my biggest grip episode was me on depression, because who wouldn't suffer in their own misery when everyone around me was horrible to me? I had therapy and i still do and it saved my life.

So what do you think? Am I ENFP or ESFP? I've read a lot of your Theory Guide but the only thing that helper my more was the Function Dynamics part because the Se-Ne and inf Si-Ni is confusing to me because for me it feels like I can be both types and i know there's only one. Ne dom makes a lot of sense but Si inf just doesn't.

I do take objects as how they are but I also like to use it to improve life (eg books are made of paper but books help with making new ideas written on paper which helps people improve their lives/all actions need words and ideas first). However I don't want to just to think in a better future without living in my present because it just seems like I'm running forever to catch a train I never can catch and I don't want to live my whole life wanting to search for something without filling fulfilled and satisfied. I do love physical sensations like food.

I'm also very spiritual, I like the idea I'm guided and loved by an superior source because I didn't have that growing up that much, my parents have a different love language than me but now that I'm older i tend to become more strategic and cold (Te tert kicking in). I forgive them, but i just wanted to tell you this for the reason of loving God and my spiritual journey.

Function stacks:

Ne: loves brainstorming, generate ideas, likes and needs new experiences for mental health/ Fi: learning to cope and deal with my intense feelings, prioritizing my desires, / Te: likes to resolve problems with tasks and values efficiency, knows to make sacrifices for a greater cause / Si: gets bored by mundane tasks or same-old things.

OR

Se: my main priority in life is happiness, pleasure and fun, i like to get the desire/thing now if i don't i get angry (eg finding stuff in my never ending bag) / Fi: learning to cope and deal with my intense feelings, prioritizing my desires, / Te: likes to resolve problems with tasks and values efficiency, knows to make sacrifices for a greater cause / Ni: I do want to have a meaningful life and want to be remembered, I also tend to have intuition moments (eg don't put detergent on same grocery bag as food cuz is dangerous).

Sorry about the silly examples but that's what I got. I hope this is not confusing.

Thank for your time! Happy holidays.

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First, your understanding of Se isn't very good or deep, which is why you're getting confused. This fact by itself is usually enough to indicate it isn't the dominant function, since people should naturally have a good and deep understanding of the dominant function, especially once they learn about it through function theory. Second, a lot if not all of the major struggles you experience are typical manifestations of N-S imbalance (not S-N imbalance). Therefore, I'd have to conclude that ENFP is by far the much better fit.

[anandasamsara]

Need to let shit out and as i can't afford therapy anymore, here's the place

I have no idea what to do anymore. Been playing with the idea of an onlyfans or selling feet pics, but i don't have the persistence for even that. Can't pick up any commission work bc i can't draw. Can't keep the print shop bc i can't afford materials. Im considering just selling all machinery to pay the bills.

Dad's only got 500brl from his payment this month, bc he borrowed money from the bank and it's eating up his whole salary. No, i have no idea where the supposed money he's borrowed went into. No idea where he spent enough money to cut his salary in fucking half, paying 144 installments of 1500brl.

We have to pay 1350brl for the apartment, about 250 for all phones, 180 for the internet, and thankfully this month only 56 for electricity but it might have been wrong and we might still get another bill with the right amount.

Outside of that, we need to eat, and i need to pay for my new phone that i only got bc the old one was about to explode, plus our credit card is blocked bc we don't have 5k to pay it right now. The credit card was being used exclusively to buy food.

I lost my job with the psychiatrist to her new computer, mom thankfully still has her first husband's pension, and dad gave us 500. So we have, collectively, about 2k if i give up my savings, and then next month we're back to about 1300brl, which doesn't even pay the apartment.

Dad has a job, a public job, from where he can't be legally fired. But he's on medical leave, so he can't work extra hours to earn more. I do understand the pressure and how tired he is after almost 30 years, but he's the only one who has a job. When I started working for the psychiatrist, he dumped all of the bills on me, but i was only making 300 per week and now I don't have this anymore. He's on medical leave bc he hates the school he teaches at, and got the leave with his psychiatrist. But if he needs to go back to work, he can't change schools bc no school will take a teacher on medical leave, so he doesn't want to go back. As i said, i do understand all of his psychological issues, but why do I have to ignore mine, which are also physical, to take whatever job, but he can't go back to the job he already has?? Isn't fucking survival first? We can't afford FOOD!

I have a medical leave check for myself to see if i can get into health security benefits in a couple weeks, but what if i can't? What if they look at me and say tough luck, deal with it? I haven't had an interview lined up yet, i went physically to places to give them my resume, but im either way under or too over qualified for literally every position i tried. Jobs that just require high school level won't hire me bc im graduated at university level, and places that require uni level also want me to have at least a mastery, or 5 years experience, or both.

I don't actually want to become a cam girl or whatever, I can't do the jobs i have the means to keep bc the means are gone, im too depressed to draw anything, I can't afford higher education and i have no drive right now,

I spent the last month in such a spiral of depression, bc i can't show that im depressed or my mom's depression will get worse. My best friends sent me money and im so embarrassed about it bc i shouldn't need this kind of help at all, and it was only enough to keep up for a month in the end. I can't bring myself to take any kind of whatever job, like at a store or supermarket or cleaning bc i won't survive the pain. I can feel my health declining, im in pain all the time, my bad foot has been acting up everyday and my ok foot is also annoying me.

I can't see much of any solution for anything. I became a burden, to my parents and to myself. To everyone. If i wasn't here, maybe it would be different. Easier. Cheaper.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi Kait! Admittedly, I'm a little embarrassed to ask this, since I'm fairly certain you'll recognize me, but I was looking around your page and I saw that match-ups were open, and... given my intense conflict regarding who the literal fuck I'd actually work well within MysMe, I thought I'd give it a shot. It's a lot easier to talk about myself under the guise of anonymity, so I suppose I'll start there. I'm a college freshman diagnosed with anxiety and depression hoping to get my double major in Psychology and Philosophy, and an eventual PHD in Psych. I am prone to overworking myself and tend to use escapism as an outlet for the fact that I'm never particularly satisfied with my own effort. I spend most of my free time outside of class sitting in my room working on art, writing, or trying to socialize with people (be it online or offline). I play a fair amount of games, but barely have the time to do so because of my tendency to overwork myself. I did a lot of theater and performance throughout my life, so I have a passion for watching musicals and assisting in performances backstage. I like being onstage as well, but previously it's proved more trouble than it's worth, especially since I'm always the 'reliable' cast, not the 'talented' cast. I also have an interest in flower language and plants, despite the fact that I kill most every plant I touch. As for my personality... that one is a little complicated. Offline I perceive myself to be an absolute anxious wreck. I'm always tired and always running around in an attempt to keep up with my responsibilities. However, outwardly people tend to perceive me as confident and knowledgable. I do wonderful in my academics and have a love for debate and asking hard questions, even if internally I am screaming at myself for stuttering or seeming silly. Online I tend to be a lot more open about myself and my emotions, but still fairly guarded as I try my best to maintain my privacy. I try to make people happy and build connections online since I feel more 'myself' there. Once I get close to someone I tend to enjoy peaceful silence with them. I'm a very physically affectionate person as words fail me so often, and I like listening to people just not too much. Chatterboxes get on my nerves, especially when someone repeats the same phrase over and over again. I have noise sensitivity issues as well, which doesn't help things. I'm also terrified of water - specifically the ocean. Any mention of swimming and I panic. I also have slight jealousy issues due to past relationship trauma. I'm 5'7 with a brown pixie cut that's admittedly a little overgrown right now, rose gold rounded square glasses with a slight cat eye, and blue-green eyes that tend to shift colors depending on what I'm wearing. I have quite a few birthmarks littered on my skin - most importantly one above my lip and another under my right eye. My ears are pierced, and I tend to wear black hoops unless I'm dressing up. Day to day I tend to look like your typical tired college student, but if I'm going somewhere I try to dress in cottagecore style attire with lots of sparkly makeup. I'm pan, and my love languages are physical touch and quality time. Something as simple as a hug or a hand to hold can turn me from stressed and panicked to melty and calm in minutes. I value intelligence a lot in a person, which is why I tend to like the nerdy types of characters in media. I also need someone who isn't shy about reminding me to not beat myself up. I tend to spiral anxiety wise a lot, especially if I believe that I've hurt my partner. I want someone who'll be there for me despite the mistakes that we might make. Someone long term. I have two partners currently, but I don't think that I'd end up polyamorous in any other circumstance than those two. Thank you for taking the time to read this, Kait. I apologize for how lengthy it ended up being haha. Please remember that you're greatly appreciated! Have a wonderful day. — 🌸

I match you with...

Jumin!

You value quiet intimacy.

You're not looking for a relationship where you feel as though you have to fill in the silence every waking moment. You want somebody that you can be comfortable with and being comfortable means the world to you. That's what you value at the end of the day. You're not looking for something that has way more energy than you can even remotely handle, you're looking for something that is peaceful and brings you a sense of contentment with your life.

You don't want something that's overwhelmingly fraught with energy. You want to be with somebody after a long day, not saying anything, and just sharing a look that says all that needs to be said. That's your ideal relationship. Mutual understanding. No pressure. Just a silence that says, "I'm here, I'm listening, and you're safe" both ways.

Which is why I was torn between Jaehee and Jumin when I looked at your submission without bias. Ultimately, I came to this conclusion as soon as I noted how you felt as though you needed a partner who had the ability to say something when you need a reminder to be nicer to yourself. and Jumin isn't one to mince words. He'll say what needs to be said and he won't hold back.

That is because he understands that if you are close to him, you'll understand where he's coming from when he says things to you in a very matter-of-fact way. He's not the kind of person who will hold back when you need to hear something.

He understands that you're going to know what he means when he says something bluntly. That's the important thing about being in a relationship with him. He said something from the heart, and he won't hold back if you have communicated to him that you need him to be honest. He will expect the same from you because that is what a great relationship is founded on. Communication. You don't have to be afraid of holding back when you’re with him. 

[hxhhasmysoul]

Well, it is true sukuna is evil ( and a piece of shit, but I love his expressions) but he is a delicious sin XD everything about him is quite delicious XD Anyway XD

I am happy some more people find my probably failed reading comprehension of yorozu's gift ruining sukuna, a good idea XD thank you, I just like some stuff like and to torture characters XD

Yes! I am excited about them too! It seems it will be bangers XD there is so many possibilities of what the plan could be that this talk would be endless XD

Maki could jump on Sukuna, but maybe they have some kind sequence to fight him, not saying yuuji and Hiromi will die necessarily, just maybe a down time.

Or maybe she will help Kinji?

But I do agree that yuuji pisses sukuna off for many reasons and would be interesting to see what he can do against sukuna, not just ability wise, but also psychological wise!

I was also thinking that, maybe Yuji could switch bodies with sukuna and then kill sukuna on his body? Might be a stretch, but it's a possibility. But that would mean that yuji would have no body to go back to so either him or megumi would die? Idk... just ideas XD

Also I wonder what will happen to poor megumi, boy needs a break and a big hug XD

I have list of issues with the whole gojo situation tbh, I am mostly confused and I this point with so much discussion around him, I got tired and confused XD his relationship with megumi is one of the things that leaves me a bit bitter and confused.

I see, I thought the same thing, it doesn't make sense for ke jaku to switch bodies right now.

Gojo techniques is cool and all, but it doesn't have the reach Geto's have. It would also make everything uo until now a big ass waste of time.

But I do think that they should dispose of gojo's body the right way, just in case XD and everyone else who might die tbh.

I got the feeling that while kenjaku is not much of a fighter, he is really good at it as if he does not quite enjoy fighting, just does it to keep doing whatever he is doing at the moment.

And he has a lot of experience too which helps tons against the "baby" jujutsu XD

It's very fun to chat with you! I don't feel judged and I am glad to have someone to hear me out and just chat. No fandom bs XD

Thank you!

Thank you for your asks, it's fun to speculate.

It'd've been fun if Yorozu's gift was a double edged sword. I reread 237 and it's said there that the weapon is her gift, I forgot about it because I forgot to read the chapter in order after the leaks. I love the leaks but they are fragmented and it messes with my understanding and memory.

I'm sure Maki will be brought in at some point but it's hard to say in which fight, she'd be an asset in any of the fights.

If I had to bet on some body swapping action with Yuuji's soul powers, I honestly would see him more switching himself into Megumi's body and getting Megumi into his own. One that's not transformed into a 4 armed behemoth, one that would likely be easier to reform. And like Sukuna can't be left unsupervised in a separate body. Sukuna needs a jailer and Yuuji is the only one who knows how to do that.

I've discussed Gojou so much recently that seeing him irks me at this point XD So I get you.

Also yeah, Kenjaku isn't one to choose a physical fight as a way to win but they will fight if they have to, and they do have skills.

And lastly I'm always happy to chat with fellow Sukuna enjoyers. He's an awful man with a hot 4-armed body and 2 lovely sexy smiles. I really like him as a thirst object but also as an antagonist. He has a fun personality for an antagonist.

I'm really curious for more Yuuji and Sukuna interactions, I really want to see Yuuji getting under his skin, messing with his beliefs and his self-image. He's done so much emotional and psychological damage to Yuuji, yet at the same time Yuuji never yielded to Sukuna, never cowered, never admired him. It'd be funny to see Sukuna yield. See Yuuji prove once and for all that his soul is stronger in every respect.