#and i didnt have a single session where i was alone

[satoruhour]

full nelson w gojo or toji🤐

a/n: chose toji bc i have . a lot of gojo requests plus i havent written for toji in so long :3 also didnt know why i made this goofy and cute. enjoy!

warnings: fem!reader, pet names, implied orgasm denial, playful banter, fingering, clit stimlation, riding, full nelson, unprotected sex, creampie / breeding kink, n*sfw under the cut

you were never one to hide your feelings and needs from toji — it was your advice at the end of the day where the assassin had confessed every single terrible thing he’s done and you still embraced him in the dingy motel under the fluorescent light. he had to do what he had to do even if his kills had terrified you a little—

but now he’s put all the assassin business behind him for a peaceful life with you where you showed him every ounce of the love he didn’t get to receive before.

you try your best to follow your own lesson — keep communication open and to be honest — but sometimes it was difficult with toji’s green eyes and hard stare boring into your eyes. they made you feel small and intimidated, something you always felt when you wanted to bring up something more intimate.

“you look like you’re constipated, kid, what’s up?” he asks without turning to you, possibly seeing your shaking hands from earlier. you can see the reflection of the television in his eyes and you‘re getting ready to speak . . that is until he turns to you.

toji raises an eyebrow, not missing the way your eyes dart down to his tongue licking his lips.

“u— uh, nothing, babe. all’s good.”

toji only hums and gets back to his baseball match, but surprises you a second later when he tugs on your waist. he smirks a little at your little yelp as you settle (or rather, were forced to) on his lap and he tilts his head, taunting you for your question.

“c’mon, spit it out. didn’t we promise to be honest?” your boyfriend questions, “and i’m not ’bout to run a therapy session—”

“iwanttotrysomethingwithyou.”

“slower, baby.” toji has a hand caressing your hip and the other blindly reaches for the TV remote, turning down the volume on the commentator’s annoying voice. he eases you into what you want to say.

“i want . . to try something.”

“in what sense? this better not be one more of your tiktok dance c—”

you giggle, “no! no, it isn’t that. i want to try . . the full nelson . . with you.”

toji clicks his tongue and you hate the heat on your cheeks once a smile spreads on his face because this was exactly the reason why you didn’t want to bring something up as embarrassing as this to him, because you could already see the amount of teasing he’d give you.

your moans descends into a complaint when toji yet again pulls his fingers away from your gaping hole, whining when you’re so close to your orgasm and yet he takes it away from you.

“tojiiii—!” you pout, grinding your hips into nothing while he enjoys the way you thrash around on bed and hope for something more than just his fingers in your cunt. not to mention, he’s been neglecting your clit, driving you to insanity on his fingers alone.

“want ya to cum on my dick, doll, ’m not that mean.” you roll your eyes, letting him devour your lips and manhandle you easily until you’re in reverse cowgirl.

he only nods towards his pelvis, “c’mon. ride me.”

your jaw drops — “first, you deny me my orgasm then you ask me to do all the work?” you know he’s truthful when he says he isn’t that mean, especially with how loving he is to you today, but this little teasing side of him still makes you grunt in annoyance. he has something up his sleeve, though.

you tsk, turning away from him and you can hear his smirk, possibly at your ass as you grope around for his cock for a few before you actually get it.

“man, shut up! i’m trying to find it.” you grumble, before finally getting it and he laughs — but it’s cut off. your playful banter is interrupted momentarily when you drag his tip along your folds and you smile upon toji’s hiss; and when you sink down you can feel your throat become dry, jaw dropping at how he stretches you out. you’re never used to it.

“t . . toji—” you squeeze his thighs, feeling his hands move to grab your ass and hips. he helps you bottom out, letting out a few grunts of his own. “feels s’good.”

“y—yeah? f-fuck . .” he swears when your hips start moving and you both can hear your drenched cunt from your delayed highs, each time increasing in volume from how you slam down onto his pelvis. toji can feel your arousal spurting everywhere, hips meeting yours halfway in needy movements.

you’re so drunk on his cock that you don’t realise the sheets turning wet with your cum, pressing harshly on toji’s thighs as you ride him. the other admires how your ass jiggles with each contact made with his crotch, alongside the beautiful moans that you let out.

you’re tired fast, thighs burning and heart pumping and you’d wish toji would take over already. he catches your drift soon enough, always observant as he meets your tired eyes. but he has to smile knowingly and your eyes widen when he prompts you backwards with his cock still in you.

“easy . .” he whispers as he brings your legs up to your ears like he would in a mating press, and even then, your eyes are already rolling back. your head falls on his shoulder in a shoot of pleasure, breath shaking with the first thrust he does.

this submission of power always sends you reeling — how toji slowly takes the upper hand from you by snapping his hips into yours as you stay limp above him. but it goes above that. toji locks his heands behind your head and you’re completely trapped.

“feel me in ya, doll?”

all your reply consisted of were moans and whimpers and a clench of your cunt, heating up when you feel his chuckle along your ear. “movin’ now, baby.”

you swear you see heaven when his shaft rams into you from below and toji groans into your ear. you were just so damn tight, pussy sucking him in that he has to take a minute before his hips properly move and you’re like a fuck toy. your tits bounce with each thrust and your limp body is held up by toji.

“you’re so . . fuckin’ wet, princess.” he mutters, wishing he could see your fucked out face at the position. from here, he can barely see your cunt, too, but if it’s what you want, he’ll happily fold you in half any day.

“toji, toji, toji,” is all you have in your brain, loving the way he impales you with each movement of his hips, feeling each vein on his throbbing, fat cock that you attempt to reach down to rub at your clit. he delivers a particularly hard thrust that has you mewling.

“don’t.” slowly he removes one hand, tuts when your leg starts to loosen. “keep it up for me baby, c’mon, yess . . that’s a good girl.” you listen like a dog to his owner, trying your best to keep your leg where it should be before you’re letting out a loud, almost pornographic moan. his fingers feel so rough against your clit, slapping it obscenely and noisily just as his hips never stop.

“you’re close, yeah?” toji whispers, thrusts starting to turn sloppy. his ass is aching along with his thighs, pleased when you nod. “then cum with me, dollface.”

his hand on your clit is ruthless, rubbing circles into it as his cock stretches you out like no other. it’s hitting so deep in you that you hardly have any coherent words, almost driven to your climax when you look down and you can see just how sloppy your pussy is, dripping all over his length and pelvis that there’s strings of your juices.

“give it t’me. cum all over my cock, baby.” is what pushes you over and your whole body shakes in his hold, vision turning white as you ride out your orgasm. his thrusts don’t stop, sending you into overstimulation when he ruts into you like a dog, finally cumming deep in you that his hot breath stains your neck. it’s hot and so much, painting your insides white with each ribbon of semen he releases in you.

there’s a filthy push of your cunt when he finally removes his cock from you, that drives out all the cum in you and you’re moaning lewdly when he uses his cock to slap your cunt; you hear just how wet your connected bodies are.

toji just chuckles when you grind down on his tip. “little cum dump just f’r me.”

[ileftherbackhome]

for this disability pride month, i want to highlight a couple of things with autism and ahdhd, particularly in girls.

if your teen girl is staying up every single night until 3 am doing homework, and she's been at it since 230 pm when she got home from school... that needs to be acknowledged and addressed. thats not normal, even the insane amounts of schoolwork that a white rich school would require for students in those college level courses wouldnt require almost 12 hours of studying a night. especially if her grades don't reflect that level of attention.

if your teen girl forgets things constantly, if she makes mistakes in sending the right documents or doesnt buy what you tell her to at the store, she is not lazy, stupid or malicious. these are symptoms that need to be acknowledged and addressed, this is not normal brain behavior. there is something going on cognitively.

if your teen girl is amazing and lovely until she's explosively angry, she's not an evil person hellbent on ruining the family. this is emotional disregulation, she needs help. these are symptons that need to be acknowledged and addressed.

if your teen girl is talkative and likes being around you until she doesnt, and if she goes silent until she's allowed to go to her room and sleep off the grumpiness, she's not being hateful towards you. she is likely burnt-out socializing and needs to gain her energy back, let her be. this is a symptom that needs to be addressed and acknowledged.

if your daughter constantly needs to chew on gum, even after you berate and shame her for doing so, to the point where her jaw often hurts, this is not her being defiant. this is a symptom and needs to be addressed and acknowledged.

if your daughter walks funny, laughs funny, dances weird, cries too much at commercials that are overly dramatic, and you make her feel bad for displaying any of these traits, you're harming her. let her exist in this world without feeling the need to box in her behavior into "acceptable" mannerisms. unlearn what it means to walk, laugh, dance "funny" and examine why you feel the need to bully people who don't behave in ways you've approved beforehand.

if your daughter has had trouble making friends her entire life and if you often catch her talking to herself in rehearsing full on conversations, she is most likely exhibiting symptoms of autism and these need to be acknowledged and addressed.

if your daughter learned to do things early on and had an extensive vocabulary or skipped the crawling stage and walked immediately, or if your daughter never learned how to "play properly" i.e. she loved having toys but only to organize and line them up and refused to let anyone else touch them, your daughter is exhibiting symptoms of autism that need to be acknowledged and addressed.

if your daughter often refuses to acknowledge her tone or states that "i didnt say it like that" "i didnt say that" or "thats not what i meant" and if she repeatedly tells you "i dont understand what tone you're talking about" she is not gaslighting or manipulating you. she is not being stubborn, she is not lying. she is exhibiting signs of autism that need to be acknowledged and addressed.

if your daughter only likes to eat certain things, to the point that it affects her health, she is not a picky eater. this is a symptom that must be acknowledged and addressed.

if your daughter is black and white in her thinking, to the point where she will argue with you about things that she thinks are objectively unfair or wrong to her, she is not doing it out of spite. she is exhibiting symptoms that must be addressed and acknowledged.

if your daughter loses her shit at not being allowed to sleep in on the weekends, especially if you know she's been pulling 12 hour "study sessions" all week, she is not being spoiled and ungrateful. she is exhibiting signs of autism/adhd burn out and she biologically needs to sleep more than other people to begin with, let alone in the situation that she is currently in.

please stop demonizing the behavior of your teenage daughters and start looking at each individual situation as pieces to a larger puzzle. if your daughter shows a majority of these signs, please start looking at these behaviors as manifestions of the symptoms that are distressing your child in that moment.

autism in girls is often treated as "bad behavior" that parents often try to "discipline" out instead of symptomatic behavior of a disorder that has gone unmanaged and unaccomodated for probably over a decade and half at that point. please treat your daughters with respect, love and dignity even in their worst times because that is when they need the most.

it doesn't help when you demonize your child as being purposely spiteful and hateful towards you, especially if you feel like you've communicated with them sufficiently and they aren't listening or compromising with you at the very least, because your children *do not* want to hurt you. your children are begging to be heard and you refuse to help them.

please research autism and adhd, especially how it can differ in girls versus boys, and please start treating your teenage girls with more love, kindness, and empathy.

[verycharismaticdragon]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "verycharismaticdragon "?

I'm not the best at remembering things past the hyperfix, so half of this will be SV, but I'll start at prev fandoms for variety.

Artificial Nocturne (Motorcity) - I've read this ages ago but I remember it rearranging my brain chemistry. And making me realize I had a scar kink.

An Abomination, Grand Cleric Elthina's Murderer and the Herald of Andraste walk into a Bar (Dragon Age) - it's probably abandoned but it's so good. Anders and Varric in this are so *incoherent gesturing*

intra-personal negotiation (Venom) - I don't understand why I didn't bookmark a single Venom fic even though I distinctly remember like 5 straight bangers, but thankfully I'm following this author at least ✊

deathbed (Qi Ye) - that time I was whining there were no first life JBY/ZZS fics and then! Anyway it's understandably melancholy it's also very pretty and exactly right as it should be.

the good rain knows when to fall (TYK) - you should be reading Bichen's entire discography fic collection I just remembered this one first. This one is lighthearted old foxes clowning! The author's angst and cannibalism are also top-notch 👌

Ok now to SVSSS.

Joyed to be Forlorn - THE binghe fic for me. inspired me to start digging into Luo Binghe's character in a way that resulted in Transmigrator Time Traveler, hopefully thats recommendation enough

continued - possibly THE best fic in scum villain fandom. the format alone... oh just read it, you'll see what I mean.

A Child Once - again, i could rec Tossawary's entire discography, but this one is my personal favorite. (if your fav character is SQH though, the one you want is pride is not the word I'm looking for. aka THE sqh fic.)

sweet tongues, sharp teeth - unfinished but raw enough to lodge itself in my brain despite that.

Tale Within A Tale - cute as fuck. made me kick my legs and giggle many times. ...and because once I started pulling up SV fics it was difficult to stop...

side effects (rated E) - part 2 in particular didnt have to go so hard for a fic where the premise is 'bingqiu with tentacles'

don't underestimate me (rated E) - "all for the sake of preserving biodiversity!" god shen yuan SO would be in this situation.

The Best Luo Binghe (rated E) - binggeyuan. shen yuan SO would be in this situation, take 2.

put me in, coach (rated M) - bingqiushang. so fucking funny okay i love it so much

from your knees (rated E) - bingjiu. they're so rancid in this one its perfect 🖤

...Damn, this really puts the difference between my non-hyperfix and hyperfix memory into perspective, huh 😅 i actually had to trim the sv list a bit 😅😅😅

Anyway, yeah, my username actually just references an rp session we had with friends quite a few years back. Where at a certain point my character was referenced as "a VERY charismatic dragon" after managing to turn the antagonist by impressing them (thanks to some VERY lucky dice rolls). And I was dissatisfied with my old username at the time, and thought it sounded funny and snappy enough, so - stars aligned and all that. I'm happy with it still! Probably because dragons are always cool ✌️

[hyunchanstan]

I'LL BE YOUR FIRST LOVE : chapter 1

[GENERAL]: single!dad!chan x fem!reader, strangers to lovers, smut (warning in each chapter) . fluff, Chan is readers first love

[ WARNINGS IN THIS CHAPTER]: mentions of death, mentions of car accident, hospital, reader has depression, nightmare (let me know if I forgot something)

[ AUTHOR'S NOTE]: Hiiiii, it took me a bit longer to write this new chapter cuz i was super busy. Im rlly excited to post this. Thank u guys for the activity on my last post, luv u all!!

!english is not my first language so I apologize if there are any mistakes!

You were currently sitting at some cheap airport café, staring on a plain white wall. You took a sip of your americano as you were examining the cracks on the wall in front of you – it reminded you of your heart now. Back then, when the airport was built, the walls were all new and without any cracks -just like your heart when you were young-. But after so many years the walls started to crack because of how much they went trough -just like your heart now-.

---‐----------------------‐---------------------------------------♡----------‐-----‐-------------------------------------------------

You took another sip of your ice americano and the cold liquid going down your throat woke you up from your 10 minutes-long zoning out session. You were overthinking again. You didn't know if this was a good idea because you wanted to forget about past three weeks and start a new life, but at the same time you were scared that all the good memories with your parents will stay in France, left behind.

You took your purse and went to the plane. You didn't even have a backpack because you didn't take any makeup or skin care with you on the plane - you were sick of everything, you didn't even have the energy to take care of yourself. But it wasn't like you cared anyways, you were glad that you were still alive.

You sat down into your seat and slept through the whole flight.

Flashback

"Mom?...Dad?...", you shouted from the front door as it seemed like nobody was home. You took off your shoes and went further in the apartment but nobody was there. You still lived with your parents because they were like best friends to you. You didn't have any other friends besides your mom and dad, you felt safe and comfortable with them.

"Mom? I'm home...", you shouted once again but still no response. It was weird because it was already 9PM - you just came back from your dance practice - and they still weren't home when they usually come back home from work around 6PM.

You went to the living room, with an uneasy feeling, you grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. You liked to do that when you were home alone because you didn't like silence so that there was always same noise in the background. You went to the kitchen to make yourself something to eat while listening to the TV.

"Welcome back after a short break. You can therefore see the collision of a car with a bus from the live broadcast. A few minutes ago, an ambulance came to the place where the accident happened too, but the older couple didnt survive the brutal crash by the bus. Based on the shopping bags in the trunk of the car, we think that the couple was going back from the store only few blocks away from here when the bus hit them from the side and the cap flipped on its roof. The driver brake his ligaments and his wife didn't survive serious head injuries...".

It caught your attention and you went back to the living room. You looked at the TV and that was the moment your heart broke into million ting pieces no one will ever be able to stick together again - or at least you thought.

' No... It can't be... It's not...‘, you thought in your head. The car that was flipped on its roof was your dads car. You quickly ran out without any shoes or hoodie on to go check your dads garage. There was no car, that means your parents went somewhere. You couldn’t believe it was them so you ran to the place where the accident happened only a couple of minutes ago.

You saw your dads car flipped on its roof in the middle of the road. There were plenty of people around watching and recording the whole situation, but you were still searching for the two specific people until... You saw them lying on the side of the road as two policemen were just covering then with white sheets.

You still couldn’t believe. They were gone... for good. You didn't have anyone now. The people you loved the most are really not here anymore?.....

You ran to the two motionless bodies on the side of the road and ineeded down beside them as you broke down into tears. You took your moms hand while praying that this is all just a stupid nightmare and you will wake up soon. But that never happened. As one of the policemen was trying to tale you away from there you took your moms ring off of her finger and put it into your pocket - it was her engagement ring your dad gave her.

You sat down in the grass and watched the whole situation from afar still tasting the salty tears on your lips. You didn't actually feel that you were crying, you didn't feel anything at all - you felt numb, you felt like everything died inside of you. THAT is the only thing you felt.

"Ma'am... Wake up...", you suddenly heard from afar. You looked around trying to find the lady who called you.

End of flashback

You woke up breathing heavily, tears streaming down your face like waterfalls. You had another nightmare. You wiped your tears trying to calm down. You see them everytime you try to sleep - that's the reason why you didn't sleep at all for the past three weeks, you're tired. Really tired - of your life.

You got off of the plane and waited for your suitcase to arrive. Few minutes later you were already sitting in a taxi on your way to your new apartment. You paid the driver for the ride and got out of the car. You took your suitcase and looked at the huge modern-looking building in front of you - your new life.

[birdybirdnerd]

Midnight for spence, secret for Nance, wound for raph-nce (I had to keep the bit going)

ALRIGHT sorry i had to wait till i could be somewhere with wifi to do this

oc asks: not so nice edition!

Midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

changes over the course of parable actors. before meeting up with the brigade, spencer has a lot of anxieties about his parable, nightmares about endless looping hallways and being alone and not mattering to anyone. nightmares about waking back up there specifically, all the hard work hes put into becoming his own person erased like it never happened. he uh, did a lot of late night wandering whenever it kept him up, or drank himself unconscious. not good!

after basically adopting gidget, his anxieties turned towards 'oh god oh fuck this person needs someone put together to help them and im a mess, this is a mistake, im gonna fuck them up irreversibly and just continue to traumatize this poor traumatized kid and that is the LAST thing i want'

things get a lot better for awhile there, until, of course, the end of reset the actors, when his fucking narrator returns and now spencer needs to handle this and deal with this and figure things out and he cant impose this bastard on other people, he can take care of it himself, and god hes so annoying and awful but hes too pathetic to just drop off on the street and wipe my hands of the whole thing, and id feel like a fucking fraud if i didnt give him a second chance but now the nightmares from when i first left the parable are back and theyre mixing with new ones where nansen somehow figures out how to go back and drags me back and it was all for nothing, ill never see the others again, oh god-

so uh. yeah. he quit drinking for awhile there for gidget, but nancys return marks a return of his alcoholism (for a bit. they all get their shit together again thank god and spencer never, ever again touches the stuff except for a Single glass of champagne/wine at a particularly fancy dinner or party, maybe once a year at most)

Secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

nancy admits this to dr joy one session, and no one else.

when he first saw spencer in the falling-apart parable the coalition had made their base, when the rescue attempt for the narrator was in full swing, when hed spent years with a slowly dawning horror at what the other versions of him had done, and what that corrupted parable leading the charge was doing,

he was so, so close. seconds away, even. from grabbing spencer and running and not stopping until they were back, safe, in their own parable

he would have done it, if spencer hadnt interrupted him to demand his help in finding gidget

Wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?

raph is a HUUUUGE drama queen and makes a mountain out of a molehill to cope. the more dramatic she is about something though, the less serious it actually is

but when shes really, actually hurt, she tends to retreat. hide it. put on a smile and act like nothings wrong, what are you talking about? this goes for both physical and emotional hurts, too; shell work on a twisted ankle or a pulled muscle until the pain is literally too much for her to even move, and keep forging onwards when her head is a disaster zone until the depression is so thick and murky she cant see a way out of bed in the morning

dont think shes had any suuuper serious physical injuries, maybe needed stitches from falls on set or casts for fractured bones. shes pretty hardy, even if she can be kind of a clutz

emotionally, the worst shes been would have to be... hm. sometime maybe a few months before the brigade formed, i can see her having started her transition months prior. shes been part of this theater/drag group for almost a year now, surrounded by people so, so much like her that love her so much. helping her figure her way out in the world, and in herself. odette dotes on her, is supportive, helps her get on hormones and become more comfortable with herself.

estrogen therapy comes with increased mood swings, heightened emotions, and raph already has bipolar disorder. she feels so much all the time, and the hormones make that stronger, and one day she realizes all the good she has and how different everything is and shes faced in the mirror with the face of someone she can actually love-

and she suddenly feels like a fraud. shes a fake. shes not human, shes not one of these girls. she was made to press buttons, was made as a vessel for the players enjoyment of a game that wasnt even fun anymore, none of them had to go through what she did and she cant even tell them, shes crazy, shes nothing, her narrator was right-

big bad mood swing. bed bound for weeks. raph loses a lot of weight, burns some bridges when the only energy spikes she gets are to yell at the people she loves with all her heart (those bridges reform, i promise, amends are made and therapy helps all). its bad, and the only reason she didnt fully waste away was that odette never once gave up on her, despite rows and no responses.

raph still feels so terribly guilty about this, but has worked to be at peace with herself over it since then

[chelzone]

just played thru Goodbye Volcano High finally, to completion

here's me thoughts, under a spoiler block just like i did for after i beat Snoot Game

story flows nicely from start to finish, though i feel like a tiiiiny bit could have been trimmed cus it did feel a bit too long for playing through

affinity system is cool, feel like i hadn't seen people dig into that one as much as they should've. i was unable to get the Rosa gender reveal sequence cus i didnt max out her stuffs BUT they still throw in moments prior that telegraph it very much so so that's still something!

gorgeous backgrounds, absolutely zero complaints about any of them. while the characters animations can be a tad bit stiff at times, i feel like i can still most of the time realistically imagine them within the scenes properly

i understand you had to have 3 L&L segments for it to make sense as a DnD sessions sort of thing but,, i didnt like the segments in general. i feel like you could have still explored Reed's character without dedicating far too much time to these

music for the rhythm game segments is definitely NOT my personal taste, so i cant rlly say much about the content that wouldn't be heavily biased. i feel like also the controls were a bit too complicated, especially on keyboard. perhaps it couldve been easier to play on a controller but like,, visually there's still way way way too much to keep track of so it gets overwhelming at times. also very very hard to focus on the scenes going on while trying to play the rhythm segments, and i feel like that hurts the final one with the montage

Naomi and Fang is a match made in Heaven, what else is to say? jumps the gun a wee bit but idk i kind of like that shit and i do that for me own characters at time. wishing those two the best in dino heaven

was not expecting Fang to be so selfish throughout the entire game, it's genuinely a bit jarring at times. the way it's patched up in the end feels a bit too rushed, but then again i said the game felt a bit too long so no idea what the solution would be

Swamp Babies i wish u got more screentime, but i digress. Curtis having no voice let alone dialogue was a bummer

i hope they keep patching it cus i did get softlocked multiple times and there were many times where backgrounds failed to load in for a bit during many scenes ;w;

fave characters from this iteration gotta be Stella, Sage and Reed. funnily enough, two of their iterations in Snoot Game are also a delight! sad to see Sage didnt make the latter cut aside from positive text messagez

the logo and poster design stuff paired with the picture day sequence were pretty cool!

not a fan of the twitter stuff in-game just cus i loathe the real life equivalent, sorry ;w;

all in all now that i've done a full single run for both games (i am not replaying either, this is too much of a time commitment for a narrative-heavy experience), i think i can say i give Snoot Game a 9/10 rating and Goodbye Volcano High a 6/10

pleasantly happy with both, despite any complaints or criticisms! looking forward to drawing more fanart of both series too, as well as having a blast hanging out in discords with folks from either communities. met some good people in a cruel world

[goldstargloww]

(plain text below the cut!)

(tl;dr: the watchers underestimate how much they need to eat emotions to truly give everyone an emotional blank slate for the next game. i like this.)

hm. so yknow how the watchers eat emotions between games but also sometimes they fuck it up and dont eat enough and thats why things like pearl and cleo were a bit too traumatized so the listeners swapped em out for a session (because pearl and cleo's trauma from double life was a New Level Of Fucked (cc!martyn's words lol) and the watchers didnt eat enough of their emotions)

i think or at least headcanon that there's been a ton more instances of that just, the listeners havent been able to do anything about it or it hasn't been significant enough a problem for the watchers to notice, or actually maybe the watchers just don't care, or maybe they enjoy it

like scar and grian. martyn and ren. scott and jimmy yeah sure they should remember their past partnerships but not feel anything about it yeah sure they should remember their past experiences but not how they made them feel

martyn should remember that he was the red king's hand

but he shouldn't feel the need to ally with him in every single game following apart from where he couldn't

he shouldn't have an averse reaction to killing his closest ally by their request, and feel the need to defend himself for doing so, "it's not betrayal if it's requested"

he shouldn't feel the need to tie the dogwarts banner around his waist in ren's honor

he shouldn't feel a shift in comfort when ren's not a part of a death game for the first time

scar should remember that grian swore his life to him after making a mistake resulting in scar's death, and even after the deal ended grian stuck around til the end and the only reason scar died to grian's hands was that scar let him

but he shouldn't gravitate towards grian as soon as he's left alone without allies, he shouldn't feel the need to be that generous towards grian in giving him and joel a life and setting them all on yellow, he shouldn't end up visiting the southlands as much as he does considering their history within that one game

he shouldn't feel overly comfortable relying on grian to keep their lives safe and fall back into nearly the exact same habits as he had in third life

he shouldnt immediately go to grian when he's paralyzed for a session because if grian pushes him away every time scar wants his company, he'll just have to get it when he can't push him away anymore

pearl should remember that scott, her teammate just last game, thought she betrayed him before they even met for the first time this game and left her alone up until the short time leading up to their bittersweet end where he killed himself for her, should remember that her one and only companion tilly was killed without mercy because pearl was regarded as a danger to everyone around her including herself and not worth trying to tame

but she shouldn't feel as betrayed as she does when scott leaves, she shouldn't feel anything about their history together just last game

she shouldn't go to martyn asking for tilly back and then stand speechless as he drops gunpowder on the ground saying he cremated her she shouldn't feel the need to go asking in the first place and certainly shouldn't be triggered by something she isn't supposed to care about anymore

she shouldn't have to be pulled out for a session to be given time to recover, she should've recovered already

scott should remember that he₁ and jimmy₂ were husbands, that jimmy₂ died when scott₁ wasn't even there, that he₁ had to bury him₂ himself₁ and live out the rest of his₁ life because his₂ was cut off so early on

but he shouldn't be saying "love you" to jimmy, shouldn't be getting upset when jimmy doesn't say it back, because jimmy got more time to recover than scott did after third life and so jimmy doesn't care anymore but scott still very much does

he shouldn't go seek out a single partner to stick by and stay honorable and loyal to for each and every game following, and as soon as they're compatible he shouldn't feel the need to make it as gay as possible to compensate for what he lost

they should remember all of that, yeah. but they shouldn't feel anything about all of that apart from logical conclusions they may draw after the fact. they should feel emotionally disconnected from everything that happened in the past games. …right? because that's what happens with everything else, why isn't it happening properly? maybe whatever does the feelings wipe isn't perfect. maybe whoever feeds on their emotions underestimates just how much they should, sometimes :>

[plain text:

hm. so you know how the watchers eat emotions between games but also sometimes they fuck it up and dont eat enough and that's why things like pearl and cleo were a bit too traumatized so the listeners swapped them out for a session (because pearl and cleo's trauma from double life was a New Level Of Fucked (cc!martyn's words lol) and the watchers didn't eat enough of their emotions)

i think or at least headcanon that there's been a ton more instances of that just, the listeners haven't been able to do anything about it or it hasn't been significant enough a problem for the watchers to notice, or actually maybe the watchers just don't care, or maybe they enjoy it

like scar and grian. martyn and ren. scott and jimmy yeah sure they should remember their past partnerships but not feel anything about it yeah sure they should remember their past experiences but not how they made them feel

martyn should remember that he was the red king's hand

but he shouldn't feel the need to ally with him in every single game following apart from where he couldn't

he shouldn't have an averse reaction to killing his closest ally by their request, and feel the need to defend himself for doing so, "it's not betrayal if it's requested"

he shouldn't feel the need to tie the dogwarts banner around his waist in ren's honor

he shouldn't feel a shift in comfort when ren's not a part of a death game for the first time

scar should remember that grian swore his life to him after making a mistake resulting in scar's death, and even after the deal ended grian stuck around until the end and the only reason scar died to grian's hands was that scar let him

but he shouldn't gravitate towards grian as soon as he's left alone without allies, he shouldn't feel the need to be that generous towards grian in giving him and joel a life and setting them all on yellow, he shouldn't end up visiting the southlands as much as he does considering their history within that one game

he shouldn't feel overly comfortable relying on grian to keep their lives safe and fall back into nearly the exact same habits as he had in third life

he shouldn't immediately go to grian when he's paralyzed for a session because if grian pushes him away every time scar wants his company, he'll just have to get it when he can't push him away anymore

pearl should remember that scott, her teammate just last game, thought she betrayed him before they even met for the first time this game and left her alone up until the short time leading up to their bittersweet end where he killed himself for her, should remember that her one and only companion tilly was killed without mercy because pearl was regarded as a danger to everyone around her including herself and not worth trying to tame

but she shouldn't feel as betrayed as she does when scott leaves, she shouldn't feel anything about their history together just last game

she shouldn't go to martyn asking for tilly back and then stand speechless as he drops gunpowder on the ground saying he cremated her she shouldn't feel the need to go asking in the first place and certainly shouldn't be triggered by something she isn't supposed to care about anymore

she shouldn't have to be pulled out for a session to be given time to recover, she should've recovered already

scott should remember that he and jimmy were husbands, that jimmy died when scott wasn't even there, that he had to bury him himself and live out the rest of his life because his was cut off so early on

but he shouldn't be saying "love you" to jimmy, shouldn't be getting upset when jimmy doesn't say it back, because jimmy got more time to recover than scott did after third life and so jimmy doesn't care anymore but scott still very much does

he shouldn't go seek out a single partner to stick by and stay honorable and loyal to for each and every game following, and as soon as they're compatible he shouldn't feel the need to make it as gay as possible to compensate for what he lost

they should remember all of that, yeah. but they shouldn't feel anything about all of that apart from logical conclusions they may draw after the fact. they should feel emotionally disconnected from everything that happened in the past games. …right? because that's what happens with everything else, why isn't it happening properly? maybe whatever does the feelings wipe isn't perfect. maybe whoever feeds on their emotions underestimates just how much they should, sometimes :>

/ end plain text]

[sistercara]

ooooooh boy here we /rant

where i grew up the only informed consent clinics were a four hour plus drive either to the tip of the state or into another one altogether. places that offered any trans care whatsoever were far and few between

to get hormones otherwise you need multiple written letters verifying you are trans enough to be trans from different therapists which is neither cheap nor easy

at one point i saw a therapist for six or seven months just to have them tell me they werent sure enough that i was trans and needed more sessions to be sure. idk if they were extorting me for money or just gatekeeping

its not like this shit was covered so my partner and i payed out of pocket and this was all for one letter let alone the cost of blood test or medication to follow

eventually i decided i couldnt take it (and we absolutely couldnt afford enough therapy sessions to prove my transness) so i ended up taking the four hour drive out of state to go to planned parenthood for informed consent

with initial consultation blood tests and monitoring plus prescribing (they couldnt do out of state so i had to drive there for refills) i probably made that trip a dozen times in less than a month

to make things even better every single day i drove through picket and protest lines of absolutely fucked right wingers yelling about what a godless whore piece of shit i was even though they didnt even know why i was there

ive never personally met anyone who didnt struggle to get HRT in some form or another

/rant

The second someone implies that getting transition meds is easy or that doctors will recommend it I know they're absolutely full of shit.

[semi-imaginary-place]

more 13 sentinels 60%-?? spoilers

Kisaragi: oh yeah kidaragibot got put into sentinel 16.

Ogata: so natsuno has the d-code key and is calling the kaiju and 426 izumi is protecting her. Moral dilemma time ogata. Wonder how yakushiji got involved.

Amiguchi. Wow he had to deal with kurabe being so weird didnt he. Yeah ida has control issues, took away kisaragibot's free will because she wasnt happy to see him and is now torturing robot izumi for answers. This dude is like a case study for bad ethics technology. 13 sentinels goes hard. Was not expecting to spent my afternoon torturing someone for information. Like as the player i actually have to go and in gameplay inflict pain on this incapacitated person. You didnt lock the door before your torture session? Izumi's right ida's like incredibly self centered its all about him. Oh so 426 as been running around in kisaragibot for a loong time. ... Then the kisaragibot sekigahara met was also probably 426.

Takamiya: nurse morimura calls tamao(bot) tamao but by this point they should be taken over by 426, does morimura know or not? Probably goven she gave yuki the note. Yuki... You are confronting the very dangerous mass murderer conspiracy plotter bomber alone? Without a gun? At least get ei or something to back you up. Ah good it was a trap, because some of the characters here would be stupid enough to do this alone. Another hard to parse conversation. Izumi accuses morimura of derailing the interstellar project to save her own ass, sacrificing 15 lives. Morimura claims the 15 will live happier lives thus way, that "we" can make it out alive. Izumi: denied their future without every knowing why. Oh yeah if the city just ends where the hell in grandma tamao who is suppose to be out of town visiting family?

Kurabe: hold up are you saying the entirety of kurabe's story happens after yuki confronts 426/erika aiba/tamaobot/izumi juro. That really recontextualizes the story becuase that pushes natsuno's story way back and amiguchi's forward. So nurse morimura + yuki + siu trap 426 and shoot him a bunch, he jumps into the river but crawls to the shrine, ei shoots him some more and leaves him for dead when kurabe finds tamaobot with 5 min left and 426 infects kurabs's nanomachines creating shiba.

Shinonone: i dont like ryoko on a personal level as a person but i do think she's a more interesting character than yakushiji who is also primarily romantically motivated (fuyusaka and hijiyama avoid this by being interesting in their own rights). Wow its been years since I've seen a yandere character. Ryoko while pointing a loaded gun: i don't mind you using me but i draw the line at you liking another girl. There are so many things wrong with you the lesbians on tumblr would love you ryoko. Oh the 15... its tamao and okino. I forgot to count tamao last time. Ai hijiyama was in the 2064 fight too? Miura and kisaragi i wonder who else i should make a list some time. Read her mystery file and hey is this the first confirmed kill wow she really did shoot ida dead good for her.

Area 2-5 finally died on intense because i didnt know they had armor so half my team couldn't damage and the ones that did were like single target so i got swamped. I did it... Everyone's half dead but im through

Natsuno: bbbbbjjjjjjjjjjjjj shinonome's whole thing is loss of identity and memory but bj miura lost his human body then his sentinel body then got a hardware downgrade to a cheap drone, had 72% of his memories deleted, and the rest fragmented and and inconsistent, also got repeatedly tampered with. Baby professor chihiro: d-code attaches to the part of the brain where memories are stored and must be physically severed to be removed. Hey isnt that what the dd-426 virus thing does so 426 izumi was trying to remove d-code. I wonder if the magic gun was giving d code back... i need to recheck the mystery files... Ok yeah 426 gave natsuno the d code but also infected the sentinels withe the thing that severs d-cods(and usually kills the pilot) was that all just to control who the pilot was?

Miura: oh 72% stuck in sentinel 17. Natsuno ends up piloting 17 in the final battle though. I'm still not clear what the sectors are physically like are they different parts of a giant spaceship, on different planets, etc. 2188 miura says they have orbital positions but what are they orbiting and are the 3km diameter disks attached to anything?? Nanomachines somehow ended the world? Welp mystery files confirms that the sectors are virtual and i am malding. And there's also space colonies thats the confusing part. There are 5 physical space colonies called sectors and also the virtual reality the game takes places with 5 eras called sectors. If sectors are "virtual residential districts" why would there even be the matrix that amiguchi and takemiya sneaked into. I guess because its recreating the space colony satellite. It's just a weirdly physical constraint to put on something that doesn't have the constraint. Like the virtual spaces/3d models of the sectors are connected but they dont have to be. But then also why are the kaiju there well i guess since project ark is carrying just dna they do have deimos on board or the capacity to build them so the data in there...

Hijiyama: bro... 2188 hijiyama in thicc, but not as thicc as nurse moriyama. 2188 okino literally put humanity in a kaiju survival videogame. Wow that was the most overtly romantic scene yet good for you vanillaware. Hmm i remember from the 2188 miura prof takemiya log earth is lost but the final 2188 hijiyama log something happened to the space colony, a fight broke out? Whether energy should be allocated to project arc or to life support (of the orbital space colony?). He's so stupid, did not have any plan about how to distract nurse morimura (though tbf not sure i could have done better). Scratch that i could have done better. Actually now that i think about it why did the 1940 deimos stop attacking the mainframe (or any of the other destroyed sector's kaiju). There should be a ufo in each sector underneath the school (unless I'm misunderstanding something). Or maybe they stopped because they captured the ufo? Okino says once the deimos contact the mainframe it triggers the shifter which teleports civilians... Somewhere. ...he just eats like 5 yakisoba pan and downs 3 sugary drinks ah youth... I was misunderstanding, deimos successfully reaching the mainframe causes all the people to disappear in the sector. The d-code key being in 1985 means its the last sector to be attacked. The deimos are being manufactured in sector 1 (2105?), So it is a closed system i wondered if the deimos were coming from outside the pentagon but instead they're being shifted around. Whats up with the satellite tomi saw. Mystery file time: yeah kts sooo confusing that the space colony sectors are 1-5 too like 2188 hijiyama died in sector 4 but he didnt die in the 1984 sector 4 of the game. Okino is also a brain surgeon because of course they are , implanted a linking component into hijiyama and miura, wonder what that is.

Finishing off quite a few more stories. With Miura's so they're breaking into a government facility to steal the sentinel wonder how they pull it off. Ogata and takamiya clear.

Natsuno. Wait wait a new pilot will reset a sentinel's stored memory. They need sentinel 17 to retrieve the data logs. But to retrieve the data logs and sentinel 17, it needs a pilot. I can think of 2 solutions that dont involve deleting bj. First find another scout unit or like a usb or a laptop or whatever okino was using or capture one of the droids. Second transfer sentinel 17 to 1944 miura thus keeping the id the same. ... ... And that's how the writers killed my boy.

Sekigahara: siu wanted to show him which log? I dont remember. Oh at the very begining? Didn't that have a recording of himself? Oooohhhh ei was the assassin 2188 gouto hired. 2188 morimura chihiro was a leader in nanotechnology and former executive of the company shikishima absorbed. Morimura's interstellar project was used as part of the justification for buying newman. And this was a cover to move money somewhere else (where?). Morimura continued to work on the interstellar project and this threatens to draw attention to 2188 gouto's illegal finances so he called a hit on her. So morimura alone led the battle of 2024, ida was busy pretending to be dead. Now tht i think of it i havent seen the ida of 2188 yet. Ooooh thats how morimura and ida "went back" 16 years when all shifts are 40 year intervals, the worlds were destroyed in year 16 and recreated setting back to year 1 (or 0 depending on how we are counting). Good use of dramatic irony since the audience knows from the start that ei does eventually agree to operation aegis and gives up on resetting. So ida was probably the one of the other end of sekigahara's communication device. One thing that isn't adding up is ida's role in 1984. He's playing dead for morimura but head of siu and in contact with shinonome and takamiya. If he's ordering sekigahara around why is he sending the black suits after him, like could have eased off a little or sent them on false trails. Wow im so happy ryoko kills ida.

More mystery files. There it is! Nanomachone infection! Thats what caused the end of the world! Somehow... wait not just an infection there was a whole ass nanomachine war. The loops/eras/sectors are specifically the years when the compatible are born, they are created the year they are born and are destroyed when they are 16. When did the izumi murder spree happen then? Oh i see several loops ago morimura and izumi skipped being reset izumi killed the compatible, morimura killed izumi but he escaped death somehow, morimura died getting ida to safety. Ida went to sector 0 and and waiting out the reset and found the younger morimura who had also skipped a reset and now i think these are the ida and morimura that show up in the game... I think

Was just about to say of idas dead i wouldnt put it past him to make an ai of himself he is the android engineer. So before losing his memories ei switched sides and decided to back operation aegis. Aaaahhhh sealing the terminals cuts the city off from universal control, there's the key info. And universal control controls everyone except the compatible so sealing the terminals leaves only the 14 (idk whats up with tamao she got dropped out of the plot) and everyone else disappears. What is up with that satellite! If it's orbiting the real world how have... Kisaragi .... Amiguchi(?) Interacted with it! Damn all the info bombs are dropping in ei's route. 2188's prof morimura sold nanomachines on the black market to fund project arc that is what kickstarted the nanomachine infections that doomed humanity and Earth. 2188 sekigahara bombed the power generators and took out life support for orbital sector 4, is this what led to the fight with ogata, izumi, hijiyama, and okino? Yeah it was the nanomachine infection that wiped out humans. And baby chihiro was the one that killed nurse morimura! Wait if sectors restart the year the compatibles are born why is baby chihiro a different age or is she a newly made clone she probably is i dont remember. My question is how did ei remember morimura in the alley? He should only remember up to the backup not anything after it or am i thinking about this wrong. What is up with that satellite!! Anyways the whole system has become so unstable that there wouldn't be another loop after the current one anyways because sector 0 would be gone or something.

Back to the mystery files. the real world satellite is orbiting around a planet which means the "facility" (sus) that "houses the entire world" (sus) must be nearby to be able to receive data from it. If sector 4 gets taken over all data will be wiped including sector 0. "The lives that everyone has experiences through time would cease to exist for good" what is with that phrasing?? What does that mean?? Oh right sentinel 17 was on a satellite was it the real world satellite morimura is sekigahara's story was talking about?

[doebt]

me taking my jacket off so the counseling doctor nurse lady can take my blood pressure

[creativebrainrot]

IT GETS SADDER!!

so he settles in with zefiro at the raucous raptor (thats the bars name) and he hits it off with the new bartender. they dont even come CLOSE to going on a date for Awhile. but they are very good friends. her name is jasmeen.

gwyn's been doing small bounties and his 'training' up to this point is "fuck around and find out i guess" and hes got lots of lil scars from these bounties. he learnt about the desert and all its dangers and how to fight mostly from first-hand experience which is why he wont talk about his first decade alive. "Too Much thanks. you dont need to know about any of that."

hes still learning how The Fuck bounties work and how to fight skillfully, paola isnt a reliable companion yet and hes got no clue what the hell ranger magic is (and neither does zefiro) but zefiro Does have friends in higher darker places so he pulls some strings to get a couple of training sessions for gwyn with another bounty hunter whose been at it for fuckin years

the catch is, he has to complete a bounty above his current skill level, alone, within the month

and it goes Very Not Good.

(other important info i forgot; He is not big tiddie sexy ruthless man in his first 10ish years alive. hes skinnier- still muscular but much more average kind of muscle. hes not yet at the "i suplex destroyer wyverns for funzies" stage AT ALL. this is around the time he starts growing but hes been- for a dusk tree sylvari, weakened. that plus lack of skill means-)

the bigass sand lion he was sent to hunt Fucked him Up. this failure wouldve killed him if he was a regular human man. this is where he got the two jagged scars across his chest, and a few other nasty scars. paola, after Also having a Not Very Cool Time. fucked off back into amnoon. zefiro saw her wounds and thought "!!!OH FUCK!!!" and went to get gwyn because he knew that paola coming back wounded was a Horrible Sign. zefiro never made his raptor zoom so fast.

he found gwyn severely wounded nearby the bounty's last known location, attempting to get to amnoon or to any cavalier that might be nearby. zefiro was like "!!!ohfuckohshitohnoohgod!!" and hurried a barely concious maelgwyn to his raptor. bringing maelgwyn to the back rooms of the bar, he laid him down to tend to his wounds. he passed out halfway back to amnoon.

jasmeen came in the next day and saw gwyns state and just thought "what in The Hell happened to you D:" -gwyn shows zefiro and jasmeen more emotion than the average stranger gets out of him but he still has states where. no. words. Cant. so when he didnt answer her at all she just gave him space and checked on him routinely.

so theres a difference here between the first time gwyn had ever been severely wounded, and this time. the first time, he was alone, staying in that abandoned dilapidated cavern. it was the single most traumatic moment of his life. now, he has paola at his side almost all the time. the one thing that he cannot handle or ever let happen again, is being wounded and alone again.

ITS GONNA GET WORSE AGAIN. MAELGWYN. IM SORRY!!! HAPPY ENDING THO!!!

my internets out so while i stare at the blinking lights on my modem and pretend theres a tiny xfinity man who lives in there currently trying to fix it to amuse my self,

im also gonna ramble about maelgwyn my beloved blorbo of all my blorbos

when he awoke he was in like a collapsed cavern temple to kormir thatd been abandoned for ages (he didnt know what it was until like 20 years later) and he stole clothes off of a sunspear's skeleton- a man whod been hiding out there for decades before his death.

gwyns tree was fucked up im talking Fucked Up, withered and barely alive. unknown to gwyn, he was supposed to be in that sylvari pod for way longer but his tree chose to atleast give him a chance- the other option being to risk both of them dying.

gwyn doesnt like thinking about his first decade alive- it was traumatic for him to adjust to Elona with absolutely no help at all. infact hes barely even told the closest person to him anything about it.

the sixth year of his life it got a bit better. he abandoned the cavern and went looking for ANY civilization. he found a temple of kormir and the people who lived there and cared for the temple and its worshippers helped him get his bearings. they helped him learn a little about common poisonous plants, enviromental dangers, helped him learn to read and write (he barely knew how to because his tree was too weak to even manifest a dream- it was just the broken whispers of the deceased sunspear's memories, that maelgwyn doesnt remember) they gave him a map to amnoon and said he could find work there

theyd sent him towards amnoon because 1. it would actually help him and 2. the villagers and some of the temple's devoted were frightened by his presence. theyd never met a Sylvari before so for all they knew this black bark-skinned 8'3 plantman(?) was another of joko's experiments or some weird shit they didnt want to deal with. but! it worked out. because maelgwyn hated their suspicious looks and frighten glances, the quick single word answers to get away from him and conversation. because that persisted even after hed helped the village and the temple. even after he offered as much kindness as the ones who helped him.

obviously not every single person there was like that. the priestess of kormir who helped him the most was sad to see him go and a few of the villagers put together a goodbye package so hed have something to eat and

MY NETS BACK YIPPEE!!!

[thosesouthparkimagines]

The Tutor

A Kenny x reader fic where (Y/N) tutors Kenny’s younger sister Karen :) 

When the principal had come up to you after class offering some easy extra credit, you practically jumped at the offer. He claimed you were the only one who could help, since you were the top of your class, and the task seemed easy enough. Tutor some of the younger kids, and you had gotten paired with little Karen McCormick. It was simple enough, just meet the girl after school in the library for an hour every day, and she’d get as many points as she wanted. 

So here she found herself making her way into the library, noticing the small girl sitting at the table in the middle of the room. Though the girl wasn't alone, a boy with an orange parka sat beside her. 

Making her way to the table, (Y/N) gave a soft smile towards the two as she comes to sit across fro the two with a smile. 

“Hi there. Karen right? I’m (Y/N) and I’m your tutor!” she grins, and the smaller girl perks up, as does the boy in the parker. She knew she had seen him around, but couldn’t quite place exactly where. 

“Hi (Y/N)!” the small girl says “this is my brother Kenny, he’s gonna stay with me okay?”, and (Y/N) nods. 

“Sure! If it makes you feel better!” She grins, and begins the lecture. 

Sure enough, for the next few months, everyday after school, (Y/N) met Karen in the library for tutoring, abd every single time, Kenny was there too, sitting in the seat beside her. And everyday the two would converse while karen worked on her practice problems, and soon enough, her and Kenny had become almost inseparable. Even during class, because much to her dismay, Kenny was actually in her class. She just never noticed him, which drove her crazy with guilt. 

-

When Karen had told him she had to stay later after school for tutoring, he immediately agreed to stay, even though she told him she didn't need him too. But he wouldn't leave his sister alone with a stranger for a few hours, much less someone older. Though when she walked into the room, he couldnt help but to stare. 

(Y/N), the girl in his class. He would hear Kyle constantly complain about how she would beat his high grades and she was number one in the class. She didn’t pay much attention to much else outside school. Hell she hardly knew who he was. She hung out mainly with Wendy, the two of them studying and even having sleepovers together. She was one of the prettiest girls in school, every boy agreed, so when she showed up to tutor Karen, he couldn't be happier. 

So Kenny did what any normal boy would do, and immediately tried to get close to her, which worked. If he could get her on a date, he would have epic bragging rights over everyone. Even when she began to spend time with him in school too, he could feel the envious stares of all the other boys on him, and all he would do was wrap an arm across her shoulder (never any lower because he is a gentleman) and lead her away. 

The closer he got to her, the more his feelings bloomed. He tried to blame it on feelings of friendship, but your heart race doesn't pick up around a friend, and your cheeks dont turn red when you hear a friends laugh. But he would never admit to it. 

It was the last tutoring session. All of Karens grades had skyrocketed, and she no longer needed the tutoring. If anyone was more upset, it was Kenny. He no longer had an excuse to be near her all the time. Karen was upset, but with the promise of always being able to reach out to (Y/N) if she needed help, she was sent happily skipping on her way. 

She had exchanged number with Kenny, him using the excuse “in case Karen needs help I can contact you” which wasn’t a total lie. And they went on their merry ways. They would talk in the hallways and at lunch, but it wasnt the same. He had to share her with everyone, and didnt have the time in the library. 

He even tried to lower his own grades in an attempt to get her to tutor him, but that failed, because it was Kyle assigned to help him. There was one final thing he could do, and thats how he found himself staring at his phone screen, the message typed out, and before he could stop himself, he clicked send. 

Kenny: Hey can we talk

(Y/N): Kenny? Is something up? Does Karen need help with an assignment? 

Kenny: No, its something else. I think I might be in love with you

[daz4i]

SCRATCH MY LAST ONE I CHANGED MY MIND ACTUALLY I DIDNT REALIZE YOU HADNT DONE MAKOTO! very interested in your thoughts on her

AH THANK YOU!!!!! and i might get into the other one some other time too >:3

What I like about them: i like her arc a lot!!!!!! i love Little Miss Perfect characters breaking out of what’s been set up for them and refusing to follow orders!!!!!!!!! 

What I dislike about them: conclusion of her confidant. girl you can do so much better. don’t become a cop i swear

Favourite moment: gonna be very repetitive to say her awakening but......... it’s genuinely just so cool............. also i like that one scene where she’s talking half to herself but in reply to sae, abt how she’s not alone anymore. very wholesome!!!!!

Least favourite moment: her confidant does have a lot of awkward moments to get through, so really pick any of those hehe 

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more: her dynamic with sae!!!!!! we mostly see it right before her arc starts and maybe peppered here and there later, and i think that’s a big miss, especially after the interrogation room! even a cognition of makoto in sae’s palace would’ve made things more interesting

An interesting AU for this character: tbh? a no powers au could be interesting in her case. i’d love to see her learn to rebel and stand up for herself and become her own person through friendship and seeing the injustice of the system rather than a specific trigger (it can be cool for everyone on the thieves but especially makoto, imo. while she may not have had close friends up until the thieves, she’s still the furthest from being an outsider from them all i think, which is why that idea stands out through her even more)

A crossover: ok i’m really bad with this crossover prompt bc i just forget every media that has ever been created even apparently. so mad max. why not. 

OTP: okujima!!!!!!!

Other ships?: MAKOANN, ryumako, polythieves

BROTP: ok here’s my hot take. goro. i think they should be friendly rivals driving each other to be better and have study session together and hang out also

NOTP: also with goro lol

Random headcanon: gets really into knitting to deal with stress at some point. i think she deserves to have a hobby and this one can fit her! she doesn’t do it a lot, starts with just practicing certain techniques but after a few months every single member of the phantom thieves has at least one item she made for them that they take everywhere 

send some characters?

[aerltarg]

Maybe this is a stupid question, buuuuut:

I just can't imagine a world that Rhaegar comes back from the Trident, wins the war and becomes king. No, I'm not a anti Rhaegar, matter of fact I like him very much, I'm just can imagine how would Lya, little Jon, this whole affair, would settle in the capital. The norm that fics (at least those I read) tend to follow is to make Rhaegar:

1. A douche, paranoid and destiny-obessed king.

2. Completely incompetent, aloof monarch, that deep down has a heart of gold, but can't really be understood.

I mean, isn't he supposed to be a scholar since he was a kid? What's are your thoughts about it?

oh, yeah, i can totally understand this! it's is the whole point in canon actually, "the wrong man came back from the trident". you would expect a hero win against his antagonist and have a happy ending w his lady love but it doesn't happen. instead the subversion happens to them with rhaegar being killed by robert who becomes obviously a shitty king and lyanna dying after him. they were never supposed to have happy ending, they were created as tragic and doomed and dead from the beginning for the whole plot to start, jon to have his parentage mystery and dany to take the passed baton as the last dragon, prophesied savoir and the heir who has to carry entire house on her back now.

as for the realistic rhaegar wins aus that's the difficult question. tbh we just don't know enough abt their situation, plans and wishes. you see, e.g. in agot we can be right in ned's head and see his motivations, what he was thinking abt, what he was planning, what he was hoping to do. but if his story was told the way rhaegar's was i bet he would have his own crowd of haters and ~intellectuals~ jumping out every two seconds w their "hot takes" how actually all hints abt what rlly happened (ned being a good man w his own sense of honour, justice and experiences affecting him and the deal w cersei's children) doesn't matter and he was an ambitious prick, planned to grasp the power by being joffrey's regent and make his daughter sansa queen. (you can actually insert there any bullshit and still don't reach the level of stupidity of such "hot takes" this fandom loves so much lmao). also he would be blamed to the hell and beyond for being too stupid and not foreseeing the future and actions of other ppl bc ofc after everything happened it's so easy to say what was so obvious to notice. also they would say that the deaths of his men and horrible fates of his kids are 100% his fault and even straight up say he killed them lmao. i can rant abt it for hours so yeah. this is a situation w too many unknown variables bc it depends too much on actions of too many characters we don't know enough abt. the only thing it's possible to tell for sure is the fact that there couldn't be any perfect solutions since things got too complicated at this point.

such fics as you've mentioned tho are just a part of this dumb fanon where rhaegar is "too prophecy obsessed"/"incapable of love"/shrodinger's rhaegar both smart and stupid at the same time/whatever/all of this combined lmfao. the man was notably intelligent from the early age as you've absolutely rightly mentioned, his guesses abt himself being tptwp have nothing to do w egocentrism as some parts of the fandom would want us all to believe unless he wouldn't be so reasonable abt it and later on, after so many years, wouldn't have changed his mind and thought his son could be tptwp.

and literally fuck all antis that think you shouldn't consider prophecies that hold real power in this fantasy world lol. you know, aegon the conqueror was said to be motivated (or at least partly) to unify westeros by the prophecy and still got the treatment of perfect/maximum close to perfect figure of a leader everyone should look up to from the narrative and grrm. prophecy obsessed much, huh? i don't even talk abt all these parallels between him and rhaegar grrm put there not for bitches to ignore them completely! and i will never get tired of reminding that dismissing prophecies is UNWISE for targaryens of all people. the house whose story is built on the dream of young daenys and her father aenar that listened to her despite common sense (or what local "anti magic"/"anti prophecies" clowns consider to be common sense). targs would be as dead as the rest of dragonlords if not for daenys the dreamer. who else in the world has as many reasons to take prophecies seriously as them?

yet antis out there act as if rhaegar is one dimensional weirdo whose every character trait is abt mf ~prophecy obsession~. like how can they miss one of the main points so badly?? the game of thrones distracts ppl from the real danger beyond the wall, yk, the one rhaegar was aware of and meant to deal with. there wouldn't be such a problem if he became king and had as many years of head start before ice zombies apocalypse as ignorant bobby b did. rhaegar had to die just for westeros to sink in shit and our main heroes to save everyone to make this story more epic LMAO

so yeah, too many ppl portray rhaegar as this one dimensional robotic creature without any knowledge of what feelings are idk even for what reason. it seems these ppl can't read for real bc rhaegar was not only intelligent af as well as dutiful ("it seems i must be a warrior" but "he loved his harp more than his lance") but also. ugh emotional?? my boy had constant emo sessions w brooding at ruins of summerhall, sleeping out there beneath the stars all alone and writing songs that made all women cry. does it sound as someone who "isn't capable of love" lol? folks act as if he was completely heartless from the day he was born (bc he didnt play w other kids ig??) but in reality their emotional range is less than the one of a spoon in comparison to rhaegar's lol. i'm not even gonna address the horrible attitude of demonizing him for his implied depression, vile clowns never listen to themselves when they talk abt targaryens and their "madness".

tldr; these fics are mostly lame af and suck at characterization if they're making rhaegar like that lol. anyway his character isn't abt being a good or a bad king, it's abt being a would-be-king for characters in books and readers in reality to sigh over his tragic aura and pretty aesthetic abt how it could've been. however, grrm clearly doesn't write rhaegar as evil or incapable as some parts of the fandom would want to try to persuade others. realistically speaking in the scenario where he wins there couldn't be any perfect decisions but it's a territory of speculations on thin air and lit nothing more since canon doesn't provide us with enough information to rlly theorize anything instead of building biased headcanons some ppl call "analysis".

but remember what barristan said about rhaegar while practically watching him all his life, from a literal baby to the man grown:

“I know little of Rhaegar. Only the tales Viserys told, and he was a little boy when our brother died. What was he truly like?”

The old man considered a moment. “Able. That above all. Determined, deliberate, dutiful, single-minded.” (ASOS, Daenerys I)

“Prince Rhaegar’s prowess was unquestioned, but he seldom entered the lists. He never loved the song of swords the way that Robert did, or Jaime Lannister. It was something he had to do, a task the world had set him. He did it well, for he did everything well. That was his nature. But he took no joy in it. Men said that he loved his harp much better than his lance.” (ASOS, Daenerys IV)

[swampgallows]

feelin like that dude who ate an individual slice of cake alone in his car just to have a single thing to himself that he didnt have to share with anybody or make anybody else’s business. not his wife wanting some or kids begging for a lick of frosting, just a moment for himself to be himself by himself and enjoy something all for him. quite literally as i was plating my small batch of cookies my mom comes in and goes OOHH COOKIES HUH??? THATS FUNNN LOOK WHAT A FUN THING YOU DID like i cannot even make cookies at 4 in the fucking morning without her finding out about it. and of course the feeling is guilt; i look like the asshole for getting upset since she didnt do anything wrong. but she “caught” me, as she always does, and that’s the real message. 

my mom is such an overwhelmingly oppressive force in my life. i want to be able to move out and be independent so badly. im going to be fucking 32 this year. and every single year has felt exactly the same for the last ten, where im just stagnant and stymied at every turn. ever since i had to come home from college because i got hit by that fucking car, ive felt like i’ll never be able to escape. i cant sleep at night because she snores through the walls, i cant have a single conversation with her without her turning it into a therapy session for her (despite me setting boundaries, kicking her out of my room, and nagging her to see an ACTUAL THERAPIST). i even struggle with my own therapy because i know she’s listening in the next room. i cant withdraw from my own bank account without her seeing. the car i drive and the insurance on it is specifically in her name, and she keeps procrastinating on giving me the title (despite assuring me it’s “my” car). and of course, her hoarding. my parents have so much control over my life that it feels insurmountable to get out from under it. and they dont want me to leave. my mom keeps calling me her “roommate”, as if i selected her as a candidate to live with. as if i looked at all my options and chose my mother as a roommate.

r crumb is a fucking asshole, but there was a documentary that delved into his family life, where his brother and mother lived together, both severely depressed, and the brother morosely commented how he would probably never be able to leave, as he had to take care of their aging mother. he made self-deprecating comments about how he was stuck there while robert got to move on, and eventually he just killed himself. the only way for him to break the tether was for him to take his own life. i saw that documentary as a teenager and it’s haunted me ever since.

Charles, who Robert acknowledges as his main artistic influence, no longer draws, has never lived on his own, and takes prescription psychiatric medications to help stabilize his mental state (he committed suicide before the film was released[5]).

it’s so fucking cliche and stupid but tumblr is genuinely the only place i can be myself and express myself. i can’t put up pictures on my walls so i put them on my blog. i used to be able to draw with the touchpad, so i loved making silly doodles for friends about whatever dumb shit came to mind, without the pressure of it needing to be “worth my degree” or profitable. i cant express my political opinions, as scant as they are, because my family is full of conservatives. and despite my mom cornering me and forcing me to come out to her, she’s quite comfortable being a bigot, only making efforts to “be woke” so as not to upset me, rather than from a place of empathy. 

tumblr is the only place my parents cant find me, mostly because they have no fucking idea how to use the site. everything else, no matter what it is, they’ll eventually find out, because no matter where i go and what i do, i have to fucking come back here. i feel like unless i can make a full, clean break from my parents—my own car, my own bank account, a job or school where they can’t just “swing by” and visit—i’m never going to get to be my own person. im never going to be free. but i dont know if im strong enough to break away with absolutely nothing. i dont think im strong enough to survive on my own with nothing to my name.

[hanniiesuckle17]

Skz Reaction: S/o Having Mental Health Issues

A/n: I hope you guys like this. I thought I would keep this one vague so it's more their reaction and not necessarily to a specific type of mental health issue. (Not thoroughly edited srryyy)

Requested by: @mrsunshine999

Tag List: @distrikt9 @mini-meanhoe @poeticallyspaghetti @hanstagrams @desertofdessert @yangomangos @hoes4hoseok

Bangchan:

So obviously I think Chan would be the most supportive put of all the boys (all would be supportive but you know what I mean)

If it is something that you have treatment for he would always remind you to take your medication or drive you where you needed to be

He loves seeing you smile so he would do his best to always make sure you're smiling

Chan understands though that it can be hard for you to stay happy at certain points

So he learns to pick up the sort of signs you give and acts on those

You always come first though

So If you want him to give you space

He gives you space

If you want him to let you handle it

He let's you take care of yourself

If you want him to just hug you and help you

You best believe he would run to you from across the earth

Minho:

Minho is definitely more the type to care from afar

After you told him about your mental health you were probably surprised at his reaction

He seemed unbothered by it

Minho would certainly be concerned but he knew that if you needed his help you would ask him

He probably does like a quick one hour dive on the internet about whatever type of mental health issue you have but not more than that

He probably suggests cat therapy about a million times when you bring up something related to your situation

You're still not sure whether it's a joke or not (you can never tell)

If you're having a really bad day or attack or episode he'll be really upset if you dont tell him or he isn't the first person you call

Definitely has your therapist or doctor on speed dial

I think one of the reasons he cares from a distance is bc he is a little embarrassed he doesnt know how? Like he isnt ever sure what you could possible need from him

He hates seeing you struggle especially if there is something he can do about it (he just doesn't know what)

You would probably have to actually sit down and talk with him about how he can help bc he is not going to ask you hes too shy or embarrassed

Changbin:

Changbin is definitely the most on top of everything when it comes to your mental health

I feel like he would be the one to have a solution for every problem and a plan for every possible situation

He probably has a binder with all your info in it so he knows how to help you when you need him

He lowkey becomes your dad....like when he leaves for tour or something he probably writes down a bunch of phone numbers you already know and sticks them on your fridge

He is the king of checking in on you though

Whether you have a bad day or not Changbin always texts you and asks how you're feeling

He never pushes you though because he know he can be a little excessive at times

Changbin hates seeing you frustrated especially when you are mentally blocked

So he likes to do these things he calls 'stress sessions'

Basically he pulls out every single plushie the two of you own and holds them like punching bags while you hit them

Believe it or not it actually helps a little sometimes

He never wants you to feel helpless because of your mental health

Hyunjin:

So Hyunjin would probably be one of the clueless ones

And he is probably a little shy to ask you questions at first because he doesnt want to offend you or invade your personal space

He probably would ask Chan for advice bc Chan knows all

He does his best not to treat you any differently than before

It makes him realize how strong you are to have been dealing with something huge like that for such a long period of time

He starts doing little things for you like helping you out with chores or getting off work a little earlier if you say you had a bad day

At times he thinks it's silly and what he is doing doesnt help so you would have to reassure him that it does mean something to you

Probably comes up with a system so he knows when you're having a really bad day

Still is mostly clueless even with the system

Hyunjin cares alot so he would probably move heaven and earth just to make you feel even a little bit better

I feel like he would be one of the most patient of the boys

Even though he doesnt know how to help some of the time he knows just being there for you when you need him is enough sometimes

Jisung:

I think behind Chan Jisung would be the most supportive having dealt with Mental health himself

Somehow he always knows exactly what you need

It's like he has a sixth sense just for you

He also knows to treat you no differently than if you didnt have these issues

The two of you would be each others support system

So you would fall on each other when you need help

He comes to you when he has trouble with his anxiety and you always come to him when you need him

I feel like rest is a huge thing for him so he always makes sure to mark out a day or a weekend so the two of you can rest and check in with each other

Jisung would also probably want to know as much as he could about whatever type of mental health issue you had so he could help you in the best way possible

So he probably spends some of his spare time doing research on how best to help you

Mental health is a huge deal for jisung

So he always let's you know he is there for you and cares about you

Felix:

Felix takes you telling him about your mental health very seriously

Like jisung I feel like he would do some research about whatever type of mental health problem you had

Felix would probably be the most attentive out of the boys

Not attentive.....um...maybe observant is the word. Yeah observant.

Felix has always been super aware of how others around him are feeling so I feel like he picks up on things fairly quickly

He probably sets up a system with you to gauge how you're feeling. (Like a scale of 1-10 or he uses the red light green light system) something like that

Felix is like the ultimate caregiver though

He loves taking care of people so I feel like If his s/o pushed him away he would really know what to do with himself

But he would ofc give you your space

At times he might tend to coddle you but you know that it's just because he cares

Felix always does his best to make sure you always have a safe space to go to.

Whether that's him or a therapist or a random space in the house that is just yours

Seungmin:

Like Minho I think Seungmin is definitely the care from afar type

He just wants to know that when he is away for such long periods of time he knows you are going to be okay without him

He probably takes the time out of his day to organize your medicine or your appointments

Seungmin definitely wouldnt be afraid to ask questions if he didnt know something

He also gets sort of defensive when youre in public

He has dealt with hate before and he really doesn't want you having to deal with it at all if he can keep it from happening

Seungmin is also one that probably likes to just check in on you from time to time (especially if hes away)

You guys text alot

You probably have a secret code word for if you are having a really hard time (idk something like 'pineapple')

He would always come rushing to you if you needed him

He feels really anxious when he is away from you like on tour sso you are always on his mind

Seungmin would always be looking out for you even when you think hes not

Jeongin:

I feel like you physically have to tell Jeongin about your mental health

Bc this boy probably wouldnt notice at first

Hes just caught up in how wonderful you are

He would probably feel really honored that you chose to tell him about it

He would probably ask you questions about it if you felt comfortable answering them

It would probably take him a little while to adjust to how It affected your life but he would do his best to try and remember every possible thing he could do to help

If you live together he would probably put little colorful post it notes around the house with reminders about your meds or appointments or little messages

(Most were for you/but they were helpful to him too)

Probably asks Chan, Jisung, or Changbin for advice if he really is clueless about something

Jeongin probably does little things for you like maybe picking up groceries for you or cleaning the kitchen or doing your laundry

Just so there is one less thing you have to worry about

He always trys to make sure you know that you arent ever alone

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