#and i didnt have a computer to draw or post for like 2 week or something

[turntech-louis]

[webbyflippydippy]

i justn ever posted this one, you know what the file is called? me :3 but with like i3 because it wouldn't let me use a colon for the name of the picture, sutpid, dumb, i dont know why it doesnt let you do that. it could be a safety thing like only important computer files are allowed to have colons so the computer can access them quicker but i didnt go into computing, i went into a college course that was equivalent to actual schooling but got nothing out of it aside from an A-level equivalent grade that got me into a university that's 2-3 hours away from my house give or take depending on the time. you may be thinking 'why not just move?' i have animals and id rather deal with a 2 hour train ride 3 days a week than miss out and garfields little tiny fluffy little face. i like drawing little men

[sege-h]

Oh my god

I just realized that with that Silver and Storm comic I am

Done with my art backlog

I've been unable to catch up to it for like 3 years

In 2020 I drew so much-- I think it was my way of dealing with. Everything. I didn't have to think about much if I just focused on drawing and god I needed the distraction

So I'd churn out at least 5 pictures each day

And I didnt wanna just spam them all, and between that and just not having the energy to get on the computer some days, the amount drawings I hadn't posted kept growing. And over the next 3 years whenever I'd make a dent in the backlog I'd get struck with the drawing bug and add like 10 more drawings to it

It was happening till the end too-- when I was posting this years art fight pieces, I had just those to post, and then like 3 other pictures. That was in September. But then I drew more so even though I was like 'Im about to catch up' it didn't happen until NOW

This wasnt stressful to me ftr, I just found it funny that I was like an art hydra. I post one drawing, and end up making 2 more

But. As of today I'm caught up. I have couple sketches done for the OTP challenge but they arent finished.

But what this all means that from now on I'll be posting my art as I finish it, as opposed to posting art I'd finished a month or a week ago

🎉

[caseyogdenart]

It has been my final week here on Falmouth University's IFY with my final module, 105, being completed and presented at The Poly in Falmouth (seen in earlier post, image 1 and 2). I would like to mention that I had 8 weeks to work on this and I wouldn't like to dwell on this so first let's talk about my struggles and regrets with my piece. Originally I had planned to make 2 cycles (a run and a crawl) and a pounce animation. It was also my first time animating in a proper computer animation software, whilst also practicing my digital art skills.

First I tried out the software Pencil2D and had about a weeks worth of work done until i ran into some problems with the software, i couldn't reorder frames after I had added them or beforehand for that matter which I couldnt get past and had to move onto another software called OpenToonz.

OpenToonz was too feature rich and overwhelming for my current level so after a short while I stopped using it, but I might choose to revisit it in the future as it contained some exciting features and seems to be useful in translating hand drawn pen and paper animation into something digitally workable.

Finally I landed on Photoshop, a software that I was considering to begin with but chose against originally due to the price tag (which was important as I needed something to work from home on). Also I would be lying if I didn't mention it intimidated me to begin with. However after using it once I actually really enjoyed it, it allowed me to edit pixels which as someone who isn't yet good at shaping things like shadows properly it helped a lot. I also found it so much more fun to use than Pencil2D which I needed after being disappointed for this long. I can't explain how much fun I had making this funny little creature move, it reinvigorated me. Unfortunately at this point it was too late to do more than one cycle as I still had to learn how to use the software and redo all of the work I had scrapped so far, my biggest regret of this module.

Like I had mentioned previously it's kind of hard to state how much i enjoyed just drawing and the gratification of making something move no matter how simple. Making small details in the bobbing of the ears and how good the shadows turned out.

The best thing I learned during the making of this is my faith in being able to make something move! In all seriousness I did learn a lot during this module, not only how to use certain aspects of an important software like photoshop, but also that I really don't like Pencil2D. I also learned how to apply a design to an animated sketch, something I had yet to attempt. How to apply shadows to a digital drawing, how to make an effective 4 frame cycle. And perhaps most important to me is that I gained a lot of confidence with my drawing tablet. As an aside I also wore out my first nib which I didnt know was a thing but in hindsight makes a lot of sense!

I think it's safe rto say I didn't keep very well to my week plan but I feel like in the end it didn't matter to me as I learned a lot, came out the other end with something I was proud of even if there is less than I would've liked and most importantly I had a lot of fun with it when I found a software that was right for me.

In closing, I can't wait to do more animating in the future. I loved my time at the IFY when I was able to attend, the staff are wonderful, my close friends have been so supportive and my other classmates have been a source of endless laughter, silliness (and jealousy, no joke you're all so talented, I wish you all well ❤). I'm excited to see where this road leads me and looking forward to mine and my friends future here at Falmouth Uni.

Completed and Presented 16 May 2023

[denkamis]

hi!! could i get double chocolate and cherry with kaminari, shinsou and midoriya please?❤️

idk if i did this right so im sorry if i didnt!

to anon: hey anon, no worries! you did it perfectly :)) aww i love the characters you chose for this prompt, this is adorable. enjoy some fluffy times with these sleep deprived boys from a very sleep deprived writer <3

warnings: none! just some swearing and some bad sleeping habits lmao. reader is gn!

prompt: denki kaminari, hitoshi shinsou, izuku midoriya scenarios + “it’s okay, i couldn’t sleep anyways.”

denki kaminari

denki stays up late playing osu and minecraft

what can i say, he’s just a gamer man

so he’s honestly pretty reliable when it comes to you knocking on his door at late hours of the night

always the biggest cuddle bug, really happy that you go to him first out of everyone

literally drops everything for you hehe

lots of sleepy kisses too

“fuck! goddammit,” denki grumbled, shaking out his wrist as he had just failed the six star version of the intro of blend-s on osu. he had gotten rather addicted to the circle clicking game. this further resulted in denki staying up late on school nights, despite kirishima’s warnings of him potentially falling asleep in class the next day. it was fine, he could always borrow notes from you or jirou anyways!

as he went to restart the map again, a soft knock came at the door to his dorm room. spinning off his computer room chair, he prepared himself to be lectured by aizawa for the fifth time this week about breaking curfew. “aizawa-sensei, i know that i’ve been loud lately but i swear this time it won’t happen- y/n?” he stopped mid-sentence as he saw you standing on the other side of the door. “what are you doing up so late?”

you shook your head, immediately hugging his torso instead. you were clearly a bit distraught about something, but denki wasn’t a mind reader. he figured that from the way you were clinging onto him, it must have been a bad dream of some kind. “hey, hey, easy there! nearly knocked me over, huh,” denki laughed lightly, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your head before closing the door behind you. you clung onto him, face buried in the crook of his neck. it made a small blush dust across his cheeks, a warm feeling spreading through his arms as he held you close. “i hope i’m not bothering you,” you mumbled, to which denki hummed. “you never bother me, babe. it’s okay, i couldn’t really sleep anyways.”

the two of you stayed like that for a long while, denki swaying the two of you back and forth. you could feel gentle lips peppering the crown of your head with kisses. as your heart rate slowed, denki piped up. “wanna stay here for the night? my bed’s missing out on some action! and by some action, i mean sleep. i really can’t sleep.”

you snorted at his words, your eyes flicking up to his goofy yet endearing smile, his eyes bright yet a bit tired from late night gaming. he poked his tongue out at you, making you roll your eyes with a tiny smile of your own gracing your features.

“how could i say no to that?”

hitoshi shinsou

we already know he’s up at these unholy hours

not for any particular reason, just because he can’t really sleep

quite the insomniac that one

and the fact that he can’t sleep properly or well unless you’re with him

you smell like lavender in the morning too bc he puts it in his pillow to help him sleep, thank you

shinsou lay awake in bed, eyes trained on the ceiling as he waited for himself to fall asleep. it was no secret that he barely got any rest, so it was simply easier to just sit and wait until his body exhausted itself to the point where he simply fell asleep. staying as still as he could, he kept counting the amount of times he breathed in and out. it made him acutely aware of his surroundings. the crickets outside his room, the way the moonlight streamed through his blinds, the miscellaneous creaking sounds of the dorms. yeah, he definitely wasn’t sleeping tonight.

he didn’t flinch as the door to his room opened, blinking slowly as his eyes adjusted to the light spilling into his room along with a new figure. “y/n?” he asked, not bothering to sit up. “hey, are you up? sorry toshi, i couldn’t sleep,” you explained softly, allowing the door to close behind you as you tiptoed across his dorm room. his hair was sprawled across his pillow, deep violet locks hiding his hands situated behind his head comfortably. it showed off his arms that were built from training for when, not if, he ever got into the hero course.

a lazy smile crossed his lips at your words, his heartstrings being played by you so seamlessly. “it’s okay, i couldn’t sleep anyways,” he replied with a tilt of his head towards you. he moved over a bit in his bed as to give you space to lay down next to him. you crawled beneath his comforters, inhaling the scent of lavender as you did. apparently shinsou had said that the smell helped him fall asleep easier. strong arms wrapped around your waist, encasing you in a protective embrace as your head rested comfortably against his chest. the comforter was thrown over the two of you. you felt so much safer already.

his large hands were placed on your lower back, his thumbs drawing lazy circles on your skin as his breathing began to relax noticeably. hiding your smile, you cuddled closer to him. to this day, you had never seen shinsou fall asleep so quickly since that night.

izuku midoriya

baby is up studying for a test that’s in like 2 weeks

either that or he’s on an all might video spree on youtube and no that is not the first time this has happened, it is certainly not the last

he has so many stuffed animals in his room probably, like he just has them stuffed in his closet

the all might plushies stay on the bed tho

his cuddles are unmatched tho, change my mind

izuku was pacing around his room, vocabulary words spinning about his mind as he counted them on his fingers. he was mumbling definitions to himself, going over all of them in his head before referencing his notebook to make sure nothing went wrong. amidst his ramblings, a knock at the door made him jump to attention. “come in?” he called out, watching intently as he saw you come into view. his face showed relief, grateful to know it wasn’t aizawa or kacchan complaining about his incessant pacing.

“would it be alright if i sleep here tonight? i’m worrying about my grades and stuff again,” you rubbed the back of your neck with a small smile, trying to play off your question as relaxed as you could. it wasn’t exactly a secret that you had a crush on the boy in front of you. he was kind and humble, wanting to help as many people as he could despite all the circumstances that had the world against him. it was admirable. even now, he looked so concerned from the clear lack of sleep you’ve been getting these past few days. “of course you can sleep here. ah, wait! i have to, ah,” he stumbled over his words as you looked to the bed to see not one, not even two, but four all might stuffed toys on his bed.

“oh.”

midoriya’s face erupted with crimson, shoving the plushies into his closet as he sputtered out various excuses as to why they were there in the first place. when he turned back to you, you were giggling. not at him, but because of the entire situation in general. “you’re adorable, izu,” you told him gently. a light feeling bloomed in his chest upon seeing the smile you held for him. you looked so undeniably beautiful to him, the way your hair was a bit messy and how you stood in your pyjamas. while others, including yourself, would find that you looked completely normal, midoriya loved seeing you be so casual, so comfortable around him.

“you’re sure i’m not interrupting you, though?”

midoriya returned your smile with his own, stepping forward to intertwined his scarred fingers with your delicate ones. “it’s okay,” he murmured softly, holding your hand as if you were the most precious thing in the world to him, “i couldn’t really sleep anyways.”

all works © denkamis 2021.

tags:

@meilbox @honeykami @httpfirx @strawberrysalwa @hey-i-really-miss-you @smexy-goose @satis-kei

want to be on the taglist? see this post!

[ask-shakespearehigh]

Q&A post with the Mods!!!!

This is going to be a long one oh boy

How strict is the delineation of creative control vis-a-vis characters/plays between the mods? (@pedanticlecturer)

We generally have the plays split up along lines of “what we know”— we have a list at the very beginning of the blog. Sometimes we’ll draw the others’ characters (mostly me drawing some of Star’s…) but even then the final say on characterization is up to the “main” mod for that play — mod aster

what aster said -- mod star

What is your favorite play? What is your favorite character in terms of how they were written in the source material? (@pedanticlecturer)

I think my favorite play overall is Macbeth, just because I like the vibes (and the fact that I too could kill Macbeth), the fact that you don’t say it’s name in theatres, and the fact that it’s a play I did a full read through and analysis of in class. Favorite character? Puck from Midsummer. — mod aster

uhhhh,, hmm. ive always had a soft spot for midsummer since i saw it with aster esp bc of how fun the costumes were. of the comedies it has the largest potential to be the most visually pleasing bc of the concept of fairies,,,and im gay and dramatic so i love that. id die if i got to costume design for midsummer,,,or be in it,,,yeah. fav character. hmm. probably mercutio?? i recently saw a version of romeo and juliet where mercutio was played by a woman and oh my god it was amazing!!! not to mention mercutio’s portrayal in baz luhrmann's INCREDIBLE version of r n j!!! (I based my mercutio design on him) he just spends the entire time making dick jokes. love that. -- mod star

How do you answer asks so fast? I mean it's great but I'm impressed 😂 (Anon)

Personally, it’s a mix of: notifications on, quick drawing speed, and using the blog to avoid my class work — mod aster

aster is fast and (as you can see from all of my answers) im lazey -- mod star

Are there any elements/characters of the plays you're covering that you would have liked to work into this blog's plot, but couldn't due to the constraints of the setting or the synthetic nature of the blog? (@pedanticlecturer)

I wanted to make everyone gay but unfortunately due to plot constraints we have to have some hets but that wont stop me from making it lgbt as possible. -- mod star

I did want to make The Tempest more of a central play, but it just didn’t translate well. Similarly, other supernatural elements like the witches in Macbeth. This isn’t so much a constraint mentioned, but my own time/energy means that I want to show the Macbeth backstory, in a specific format, but I can’t right now— mod aster

Is there a hierarchy of import when it comes to each play's individualized impact on shakespeare high's general arc? If so, what plays are crucial to the foundation of the story? Which ones did you do mostly for shits and giggles? (@pedanticlecturer)

This is phrased like an ACT question and i might not answer it right so sorry in advance but: mod aster and i only selected a few plays for each of us to do given we dont know all of shakespeare’s works, but we tend to put more emphasis on the the more well known. But it also comes down to 1. How much we have plotted out for each play and 2. What the followers ask about most. Our two most popular are hamlet and macbeth bc people are familiar w those but around march caesar always becomes relevant again. I didnt even have designs for some of the characters until someone asked about them. -- mod star

I would say the same as star— it generally comes down to what people ask about. I will say that the overall plot is sort of separated into “has happened” and “is happening”. Like, the human potion of Midsummer, Julius Caesar, and Macbeth are all in the “aftermath” portion, while Twelfth Night, Hamlet, and Romeo and Juliet, among others, are happening. We’re trying to incorporate as much as we can, and I don’t think any of them were really put in without some thought.— mod aster

What personal significance does shakespeare hold in ur guys' lives? (@pedanticlecturer)

I go to a theater school rn and so ive dealt w shakespeare (although not all of them) it also helps that i was in loves labours lost last year as moth and that i read hamlet and r n j. Theres also a theater in my state that always does One Big Shakespeare per season and they always do them super well!!! My love for shakespeare probably started w seeing midsummer at that theater w mod aster!!! So. Theater kid rights!! -- mod star

To be honest, I got back into Shakespeare Because of the blog. I’ve been friends with some people that got really Pretentious about Shakespeare, and it kinda put me off of it. I did have a book of abridged plays (the plays’ plots written out in prose, basically) that I read as a kid, which is what got me into not only the plots of a lot of the plays, but also the idea of having them illustrated. And, same as star, the theater in state does the One Big Shakespeare— and they tend to do some really cool things with the costumes, setting them in diff time periods. I haven’t been able to see any lately since I’ve moved, but they still slap. — mod aster

🥰😘💙🥰🥰💜💟🥰I 😍💗💚😍😍LOVE🖤🖤 YALL ♥️♥️🧡💛💚💝❣️💕💘💖💗💓💞💝❤️💛💜 okay now i have a question i swear— how long have the two of you been doing art??? and what were your first shakespeare plays??? (@hellaghosts)

Uhh i started drawing when i was like idk 12 and i have the giant boxes of sketchbooks to prove it!!! I moved to digital art at abt 14-15 but mostly stayed traditional until this yr when i got a Neat New Tablet so some of my sketchbooks are sitting abandoned rip. My first shakespeare was either romeo and juliet or midsummer nights dream and i love both of them v much!!! I have a very old piece of art that i did for r n j for my freshman class assignment on it and it hasnt aged well alsdjfjafd circa 2016 i think??? -- mod star

Oh man. I started drawing when I was about 10, but it was Bad. I don’t think I got much into drawing again until I was about 14? Sometime around the end of middle school/beginning of high school. I would say I started getting into drawing as more than doodling/coloring edits sometime around 2015-16? I would draw on my iPad with my finger, then I got a tablet for my computer, and now I pretty much stick to my iPad with an Apple Pencil. My first Shakespeare play was….. uh…… probably Midsummer???? I have No idea. We would go to plays when I was little, so I honestly don’t remember if I saw others before. It may have been Romeo and Juliet— I had that book where it was the original and the “modernized” with the little dog that explained things— which, if you know it makes sense, but if you don’t is probably a bonkers answer. — mod aster

Do you think this blog has like? An overarching thesis (be it b/c intentionally or simply b/c ur own take on the world has bled thru to the point where u believe it’s central to the piece at this point)? (@pedanticlecturer)

Not gonna lie, I had to read that like three times AND dm you to figure out what you were asking from us and all I have is “be gay, respect women, write your own happy endings”. — mod aster

This blog started with an ides of march shitpost and you think we have enough brain energy to write a whole thesis? I projected feelings of found family onto my half of the blog but idk if that counts. Be gay do crime 420 69 -- mod star

What’s the nature/rough dynamic of ur relationship? How do y’all know each other? (@pedanticlecturer)

Met mod aster when i was like 4 and even tho we didnt live close we became like, best friends although the Best part didnt start until we were like 13-ish and eventually we talked like non stop (about anime and homestuck. Yknow. 13 year old kid things) and we didnt see each other a lot bc of Distance and now its even worse bc aster is in colleg.,e but we consider each other siblings regardless of family bc we’re adopted into our own respective families so that bled over into our friendship and it would feel weird calling him anything other than my brother now. We’ve seen each other at our best and worst and if you really want a good insight on what we’re like as siblings watch griffin and justin mcelroy’s overview video of catlateral damage wherein i am griffin and he is the long suffering justin. -- mod star

Star is basically my long distance sibling and functionally the only cousin I recognize bc like their parents are basically an aunt and uncle and like our dads look enough alike that we’ve both accidentally gotten the wrong dad for a hug or similar so like. Anyways yeah Star is the Griffin to my Justin, complete with our absent middle brother who we love dearly— mod aster

Dubiously relevant q but what kind of music do y’all listen to when u do art (if that is indeed a habit either of u partake in) (@pedanticlecturer)

It can depend on the piece? I was working on some (unrelated) oc prints that were song-focused, and for those I just listened to said song on loop. Sometimes I have playlists. Sometimes I’ll just be in a Mood and throw a song on loop. But a lot of time for the blog, I’ll listen to The Adventure Zone for the billionth time, because I have Too Much Attention. I’ve also, on request from Star, linked the most recent “loop song”.— mod aster

I tend to obsess over the same like 3 songs every few weeks so those get listened to on repeat but it also depends on the tone of what im drawing or who im drawing i might genre switch bc of that. If im drawing ophelia i stick to lana del rey and if im drawing hamlet its the neighborhood, horatio is sufjan stevens etc. i have categorized,. Most of the characters i draw into different songs/genres/energies of music but not like i ever follow that. Sometimes i just pull up a really long nonsense video and forget to draw. Essentially: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -- mod star

How’d y’all come up with ur pseudonyms? (@pedanticlecturer)

I love space so much and my main blog is starryeydsailor space gay rights!! Im also tiny and full of energy and bright so basically i;m star -- mod star

Uhhhh i was like “hey i want to do uhhhhhh flower?” And then I google searched flower names until I found one I liked —- mod aster

How did you end up deciding the rough timeline of events in canon? (@pedanticlecturer)

It’s mostly determined by like. How we choose per story? If that makes sense. Like, we just take story by story, and decide “is it happening, has it happened, and when?” And then we fit them together in relation to each other just by dint of. All existing at once. Like, I knew I wanted Macbeth to be in aftermath, because like, even though there’s no murder, the way I’ve translated it to the AU is still kinda heavy, and it’s something that I don’t know that I could do properly if it were happening right now. Also, it’s more interesting IMO to have them at different times. Tl;dr we wing it per story and slot them together— mod aster (mod star agrees I just can word better, in theory)

If you could tell the story of shakespeare high in a different format than an ask blog, would you? Obviously y'all are making very good use of the format, but would you want to write this as a animated series or like? a comic book? or is the form inseparable from the story? (@pedanticlecturer)

I kinda wanted to do a webcomic or maybe to plot develop through like, animatics but the element of surprise comes from the asks we get and really makes us think so the blog is a good start. We didnt think we’d get this far -- mod star

Pretty much what Star said— there are certain elements where it’d be neat to do as a comic or as an animatic. Like, the fantasy dream is like, an anthology webcomic of each story, where you can like, see other characters in the background and stuff. But to be honest, we develop a lot by what we’re asked— there was a post about developing worldbuilding by being asked questions and then pretending you’ve thought about the answer, and it’s not far off. Personally, it’s hard to just lay out a story, because I have a whole WORLD and what’s relevant? What are people interested in? It’s by getting questions that I can then focus in on an area to develop. And yeah, we Super didn’t think we’d get this far lmao — mod aster

Any headcanons about your characters that you don't think will ever come up on the blog through asks or plot posts? (@pedanticlecturer)

I could make a whole separate post for this!!!!! Mostly its voice headcanons (and by mostly i mean like 1 or 2) or relationship hcs!!!! -- mod star

Honestly same. I don’t think I have voice headcanons for mine, though I bet I could find some. I’ve got a bunch of miscellaneous headcanons that just kinda float around, but like they’re scattered, too numerous for this post, and also not always things I’m sure are canon yet.— mod aster

[bufanzi]

QIN COMPLIATION

( left to right: bu fan, yue yue, xiao yu, ling chao, mu ziyang, bowen)

Yue yue

his real name is yue minghui 岳明辉 !! (92-liner) 

nicknames include 老岳 (lao yue; old yue) & 岳叔 (yue shu; uncle yue) & 中年岳 (middle-aged yue) . PLS LET YUE YUE LIVE. 

used the name 岳岳 as a stage name bc of the way it sounds & its easier for people to remember ; PINKRAY

he went by the name joey yue while studying overseas lmao

有背景有文化的团长 （ A leader with sophiscated background and culture )

Cold city boy from beijing

Engineering student!!! from Nanjing University of Aeronautics & did masters in glasgow uni!!!!!! V v v smart!!!

Great english, British accent sorta ( listen to him speak x x )

HAS A CUTE FANG TOOTH

Will trade fatty meat for lean meat if u ask

TATTOOS (I THINK THERE’S A WOLF ONE, THE ONE W AN ANCHOR+OCTOPUS not sure though :c not enough HD pics to verify ;;)

Basketballlll

Wants to collab w eminem one day

Looks up to eminem, dr dre & ice cube

STEALS MU ZIYANG’S CLOTHES VERY OFTEN (there was this vid once when yue yue was choosing btwn 5 outfits and mu ziyang was like “can u at least put one of ur own outfits in the 5”)

Voted as naggy lmao (was asked by mu ziyang whether 1 ton of iron or 1 ton of cotton is heavier, and he talked to ziyang about it for 2 hrs about the question isn’t logical cause the experiment must be held in the same conditions, the air etc etc)

His hair is a birds nest & cannot be maintained + he uses the company’s hair dryer (which actually belongs to ling chao) to do his hair

Likes to eat everything, not picky with food :”) 

THE ONE THAT ALWAYS STEALS FOOD FROM OTHERS. 

DRAMA QUEEN 

became bufan’s “woman” in IP aft the gang initiation LOL

yue likes to have clothes with holes in weird places, so i think that’s why he always wears ziyangs’s clothes 

his underwear is still outside the window ledge/roof on their old qin dorm c: 

can drive!!! has a car!!!! drives a honda w a super cool license plate number ahah 

lmao wanted to set up an emergency fund for the himself and the boys because they are always getting their salary deducted HAHAH (+ it was said that ling chao has the most money bc he listens the best and is always on time)

plays the guitar!!! 

has a tentacle fetish lmao 

initially his dad wasn’t supportive of him becoming a trainee so he secretly went to idol producer without his dad’s knowledge (his dad didn’t even know what he was doing at qin ent) but rn his dad rlly supports him!! 

yue yue’s fans call themselves 岳妻 (yue yue’s wife) 

Mu ziyang

PROFESSIONAL MODEL

His real name is li zhenyang 李振洋 (94-liner) 

his stage name 木子洋 is cause his surname 李 is formed from 木子 then they added the 洋 ; KWIN

Fans call him 小懂事 ( which means something like a sensible kid )  

Walked in milan fashion week!!!!!! WALKED FOR MANY BRANDS!!!! THIS KING

FANS CALL HIM QIN’S CLOSET/SPONSOR :”)

Also said he managed to walk for the show that he most wanted to!!!!

WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL AS BUFAN (Beijing Institute of Fashion Technology) (and was schoolmates with dong yanlei) 

Scared of ghosts cause his mum used to tell him that ghosts will snatch him away if he misbehaves

says he isn’t of haunted houses, but then asks ling chao to hug him tightly when walking though it lmao

SCARED OF CRABS BC HE THINKS THEY ARE UGLY (this idiot lmao)

he’s scared of everything :)

PAID BUFAN 50 YUAN TO FEED HIM CRABS

LIKES TO DO “BUSINESS” ie trade stuff with ling chao so that ling chao will do his bidding

Rlly sad but mu ziyang got srsly sick during ip first evals and had to do iv drips until his hands were all bruised cause of the needle marks :c

Lmao this idiot thinks 3/6 > 3/5

wants to work with Leonardo DiCaprio

he can’t stand people sitting on his bed

“It’s not that the pyjamas are expensive, I’m expensive” 

Sang 越战越勇 on before!! 

lowkey was upset he didn’t get balloons on his birthday while yue yue got a wall of happy birthday + star balloons HAHAHA

roommates with yue in the qin dorm

threw yue’s underwear out the window bc yue forced it over his head :”) & its stuck right outside the roof at their old dorm

bought a tank for loaches/mudfish & only realised that it wasn’t meant for fishes after putting the decorations and water in it... 

apparently has a driving license 

once while driving a motorcycle, the battery died & he used a strangers phone to call yue yue. then yue yue had to come pick him up with his car. since he had the motorcycle, ziyang sat on the motorcycle and held on to the car handle & they drove back like that lmao

can play the piano!!!

THE ONE THAT DISSES LING CHAO 

THERE WAS THIS ONCE POST ON DOUBAN where mu ziyang bought ALL the buns from the convenience store & zhu xingjie came a while later and wast stuck at the store cause he had to wait until the next batch was ready lmao

Had a huge knee surgery during his trainee period :c (the boys also visited him in the hospital) + also sad bc qin3 went for a huge seafood feast at home when mu ziyang was stuck eating hospital food

before leaving the dorms he went with ling chao to the convenience store to buy food bc he says ling chao is kinda picky with his food so he doesn’t eat much & he isnt’t able to take care of him anymore now that he’s eliminated so he used up all his remaining money to buy food for him

after being eliminated, he and yue yue went to play HAHAHA

Bu fan

his real name is bu fanfan 卜凡凡 (96-liner)

the boys call him 凡子 (fan zi), where 凡 is from his name and 子 is a term of endearment :”) 

used bu fan as a stage name because he thinks bu fanfan is too cute lol; KATTO (PRONOUNCED AS KA-TOO)

192cm 对 cant play basketball though

LOVES DOGS, HUSKY

ACTUALLY DIDNT GRAD FRM SCHOOL YET :c he said his parents are pushing him to continue to study but nonetheless support him as an idol

HAS AN OLDER BROTHER (10 YEARS AGE GAP)

CLINGY

LOVES TO CRY ( crise a lot when doing stretching)

Voted most scared of pain

Once got caught eating a melon & got punished :c (+ he always steals melon from the fridge & doesn’t even close the refrigerator door afterwards...) 

Always late for work apparently until there’s no more salary to be detected

HIS ACTUAL MINK JACKET IS ACTUALLY JUST A BATHROBE

apparently owes ziyang money & gave him a rap perf for money lol

Once helped an old auntie neighbour buy a new phone bc hers was old and was about to spoil 

When asked if he likes girls with short hair or long hair, this boy said he doesn’t like any & likes computers instead lmao

He can’t stand low qualiy movies, it has to be in HD

when he becomes rich and successful, he’s going to help the manager xiao yu do some intense stretching lmao 

“ everytime bufan goes to the subway, the authorities will always check his ID ” - yueyue 

Has a wall of demoralising quotes back at the qin dorm ( iconic quotes include: “being ugly is a disease” & “the reason why you drink chicken soup is because other people have already ate the meat” & “all roads lead to rome, but some people are born in rome” )

“ 家爆脸 ”- zhou yanchen

HIGHKEY LOVES YUEYUE A LOT this sweet child tried his best to protect yue’s cake from being eaten cause he wanted yue to take a photo with it first ( in qin ent, it was said that the only way they get food is to snatch from others, so that cake was NOT safe with mu ziyang and ling chao around )

MORE INSTANCES OF HIS LOVE FOR YUEYUE, HE WILL BITE YOUR HEAD OFF IF U DISS HIS YUE :”) just look at bufan getting triggered when zhou rui mentioned about yue’s eye wrinkles

Also, he called yue yue disgusting cause yue yue didn’t come back at night & went to sleep in another trainees room ( he’s jealous )

Leader of a gang (current known members include ( xiao gui, fan chengcheng, yue yue & xu shengen) 

got tricked to eat a sichuan chilli by yue yue poor thing

KING OF SEAFOOD 

once a deliveryman misread his name as 小凡凡 (xiao fanfan) instead of 卜凡凡 (bu fanfan), then got dissed by the mu ziyang saying “omg why do u call yourself that” 

I think bufan has a habit of saying the word 对 (dui) after a sentence, its pretty cute :”)

according to ziyang, bu fan thinks he’s the smartest in the group 

has a habit of calling people 宝宝 (baobao) & 宝贝 (baobei) which means baby/babe

outed yue yue as the only one that wears mu ziyang’s clothes (when asked if mzy was really qin’s closet, he said that our group has 4 people, ling chao and I never wear mzy’s clothes)

Ling chao

His real name is li yingchao 李英超 (01-liner)

his stage name came about bc if u say his real name really fast ‘李英 (li ying) will sound like 灵 (ling) ; DIDI (lmao when he’s old he’s still going to be called didi)

call him 弟弟 (di di; little brother) or  小王子 (little prince)

Loves his candies & would probably fight u for it

Hides candies in so many diff places/compartments lmao

got a toothache bc of said candy

sings really well!!!! 

SAYS HIS FAV CELEBRITY IS 黄晓明 (& angelababy)

HAS A YOUNGER SISTER BUT THINKS HE’S STILL THE PRETTIEST IN THE FAMILY

Receives the most love from the other boys :”) ( they have a rule where the plate with the most meat goes to him )

roommates with bu fanfan

Always seen with mu ziyang ( the true otp )

Doesnt like meat with fats

CAN DO SPLITS!!!!!!! & ALSO SPLITS WHILE DOING A HEADSTAND

HAS THE NICEST LOOKING EYES

is an idiot. he went to a korean restaurant & told ziyang that the “spicy cabbage” wasn’t tasty and he preferred kimchi instead. BUT THEY ARE THE SAME THING. 

he likes white roses

likes cats!! 

likes to scare chickens (& got scolded for it)

during break time, he has to memorise Chinese vocabulary ( and is taught by the company’s ceo!!!!!!)

i think he sticks with ziyang the most! ;; (obvs they are the superior ship)

BROUGHT ZIYANG TO SEE THE TALKING TRASH BIN JUST TO MAKE ZIYANG SCARED. 

shittiest luck HAHAHA (bufan+lingchao team and yueyue+ziyang team had to draw lots to see who gets to sleep in the room and who sleeps outside in the living room, and ling chao always loses)

GETS DISSED FOR HAVING NARROW SHOULDERS 

printed his own picture on a pillow then said it was “given by fans” 

had a writer/blogger/reviewer kind of site where he wrote stuff 

looks up to xukun and zhangjing the most in ip!

 “ if your 3 qin brothers become a girl, who would be your older sister, younger sister and girlfriend? ” LING CHAO: NONE BECAUSE ALL OF THEM ARE UGLY

GETS HIT BY ZIYANG A LOT LMAO 

ling chao’s fans are called 糖精 (tang jing; candy spirit) because of his love for candy

小于 (xiao yu)

BC221’s manager!!!!!!!!! (Also helps then stretch)

very sassy & playful

older than all of the qin boys ; had to work for 4 years before attending university

he’s almost always the camera man for bc221′s trainee life videos!!!! (its either him or bowen)

Came off as a little mean in the video where the boys were stretching :c but honestly he just rlly wants the best for them

Stays with the boys in their qin dorm!!!!!!

Went to the same university with mu ziyang!!! (& says mu ziyang stole his snacks, face masks, shoes, clothes, socks etc); they probably graduated the same time cause they were classmates! 

Sometimes ppl call him 小鱼 (yu) ( word play; means little fish ) & mu ziyang called him 热带鱼 (tropical fish)

When yue yue got in trouble for playing computer games, he called xiao yu handsome and he laughed & immediately stop scolding yue yue LOL

yueyue likes to diss him lmao 

Gives ling chao sweets!!! (doesn’t give bufan and yueyue bc they apparently dont listen to him lmao) 

said to bufan : “IS BEING TALL EVERYTHING??? HUH???”

“we always get scolded by our manager, the first day would pass by normally but then on the 2nd day we would get scolded” - yueyue & bufan

“excuse you? what was that about your manager scolding you everyday? its called a heart to heart talk” 

a fan sent pig feed to the company & he said he was going to save it to give to the boys as a birthday present

WROTE MU ZIYANG IS THE UGLIEST AND LEFT IT FOR ZIYANG TO FIND 

yue yue calls him 小于帅 a lot. 

followed yue yue to his home to visit lao yue’s mum :”) helped yue yue carried the luggage up the stairs

went Thailand with yue yue and mu ziyang after eliminations!

got dragged by bu fan into the toilet  (bu fan said it was xiao yu that pushed him inside but there’s video evidence HAHAHA)

Sadly no longer part of QIN’s entertainment anymore

博文 (Bowen)

lives with the boys apparently

Shorter than the qin4 and xiao yu ahaha if you see the video angle being lower compared to others, then its bowen filming (fans call it the girlfriend angle lmao) 

I think he’s qin’s video editor/photographer!

currently now part of qin’s one man subbing team rip bowen

passive aggressively posting on weibo whenever xiao yu posts updates on their Thailand adventure bc they didn’t bring him along hahahah

he has a cat called 棉裤 (cotton pants), mu ziyang hates this cat because 棉裤 always climbs on his bed

[oddity-writes]

Grounded Ch.1 Pt.2

Decided to post this on Ao3 as well. (Mainly cause tumblr's character limit) I will continue posting to both tumblr and Ao3. If you guys want the link to it on Ao3 let me know.

Edit: Someone on Ao3 let me know that I accidentally kept switching around Virgil's username, so I fixed it! It's Blackwings, not Darkwings. (Not really sure how I even made the mistake in the first place. My mind must have wandered.)

Tag list: @nerd-in-space @thebaagelboy

The first month of staying in the apartment and paying for everything was terrible. Even with the paychecks just about every week, Virgil still had to work himself to the bone to pay for the rent, food, clothing, and any other daily nessesities. After the first rough patch, though, he had a stable life. He was even able to put aside some money to buy a crappy computer and a cheap drawing tablet.

Using these, he would draw when ever he had free time.

"Wow," Virgil stared at his computer screen, "people like my drawings that much?"

He was honestly suprised. He's been drawing for a long time, so he decided to post some of his works online. That was just a few months ago. Now he has some devoted fans that love his works. Some even asked if he would open up commissions.

'They want to commission me? Really?' His mind had trouble proccessing the info it received. He had nothing to lose. Not only would he be drawing for people that love his art, but he would be paid for it. Opening up his blog, he let his fans know that he would, in fact, be opening up commissions. Many instantly replied to his post saying to link them to the commission page when he's ready. His fans where always so supportive. Hes not really sure why they are, but their support has helped him make it though tough times.

Once Virgil was done setting everything up, he instantly got two commissions. 'Well, I'm free today, might as well work on these now.' He sat at his desk prepared to start when he realised that the first commissioner is his first fan. Not only that, but they gave him a lot more money then he asked for. "Oh, my god. They gave me 50$!?" He almost yelled.

His first fan is a user that goes by the username "TheRoyalPrince". They are the first person to find and support to this day the drawings that Virgil posts. They are also the first fan to suggest to open up comissions. 'Why did Prince give me 50$?'

His comissions info only went up to 20$ as the highest amount. TheRoyalPrince gave him 50$. Virgil, after snapping out of his shock, read the TheRoyalPrince's commission info.

Commission 50$ made by TheRoyalPrince:

'Hello, Blackwings! I would like to commission a royal kingdom. Make sure this kingdom has a handsome prince, but other then that I would like to see your take on a royal kindom. Also, I have been a fan of your works since the day you first posted. The extra 30$ is to help you live better and to continue making more art in the future! :)'

Virgil sat there, dumbfounded. 'Prince really likes my art.' Starting to tear up, he grabbed the tablet pen sitting a little to the left and opened up a blank page. After pondering for a moment, he got to work. This isn't the first time Virgil has talked with Prince. Awhile ago, he asked his fans for ideas, since he was having trouble drawing. Prince, was somehow the first one to give him an idea. So he knows a few things that Prince likes.

Vibrant reds and golden yellows started to streak across the blank page. Virgil's hand moves gracefully across the tablet, leaving different colors in its wake. By the time he was done it was pretty late in the day. He started around 9 in the morning, so it was suprising to see that it was 1 almost 2 p.m. He got up and stetched. 'That...was really fun to draw. It even looks good. I hope Prince likes it.' Virgil was genuinely happy with the result of the commission. It was a vibrant white and red kingdom with a bit of a golden yellow. The viewpoint of the drawing is on a hill looking down at the large kingdom. A little bit off to the left of the hill, is a majestic looking prince on a white horse with a mane that has a tinge of yellow. The prince looks like he is ready to defend the kingdom from what ever dares to attack.

Clicking on the submit button, the drawing got sent to Prince.

"Okay, before I start on the next one I really need a shower." He hadn't taken a shower for a little while, so he could save on the water bill.

Walking over to the bathroom, he started to get undressed. Taking off his shirt he sees his reflection in the mirror that's just above the sink. 'My marks.' He sees his soulwing marks almost everyday. He doesn't go out much other than to do his part time jobs, so he doesn't really have any friends. His marks are his only comfort. They prove that there is at least one person on this world that won't hate him or call him a freak.

He finishes getting undressed and jumps in the shower. Quickly getting in and out to save as much on the water bill as possible. After drying himself and getting clothes on, he finishes the other comission by night time. 'Okay, i've got work to do tomorrow, so if I want food, I better go to bed.' Although, it's pretty late, he doesn't have to go to work very early, so he should be fine. Not only that, but he's used to getting little to no sleep, if the bags under his eyes are any indication. He lays down in his bed thinking back to Prince. 'I hope Prince liked the drawing.' Virgil mulls over the bright red and white kingdom as he doses off.

The next day he wakes up late, but, he really doesn't have work early so he had about an hour before he had to leave to another job. Rising from his bed like he was zombie, he got up and made a simple breakfast of an omelet. He is not a master chef, but living on your own forces you to learn how to cook. He has decent skills, when he is not dead tired and actually feels like cooking instead of just making ramen. Grabbing the hot omelet and flipping it onto a plate, he sits down at his desk and checks his phone. He has a notification from his art blog. Tapping on it showed that Prince had responded to the commission. 'Prince? Did he not like it?' Slightly scared that he disappointed his first and longest time fan he opened up the response.

TheRoyalPrince replies:

'Blackwings!! Amazing! I could not have asked for anything better! I love it! It's the perfect thing for my room. I just gotta print it onto some poster paper, and voilá! It will fit on the wall as if it has always been there.'

'What?'

Virgil opened up his account 'Blackwings' and started to reply to Prince.

Blackwings: 'I'm glad you liked it. I spent a lot more time then expected to on it.'

He didnt expect Prince to reply right away, so he started to set his phone down, when it buzzed.

TheRoyalPrince: 'Oh, but of course I'll love it! Just about anything you post is magnificent!'

Seeing the reply, had him start to tear up, again. He felt like he was wanted for once. His family always treated him like he didn't even deserve to live, but Prince even though they don't even really know each other, seems to actually want him or at least the things he can create.

Blackwings: 'l...thank you. You and my other fans support has helped me through...some hard times. So, thank you.'

Blackwings: 'Also, I'm not accepting the extra 30$. I will send it back. I don't deserve it. I completed your commission that was for 20$. I don't deserve the get anything extra.'

Virgil was not going to argue with Prince about the extra money. He really doesn't deserve the it. The 20$ was enough.

TheRoyalPrince: 'I'm glad my support has helped you through tough times! It's the least I can do. However, I am not going to take back the 30$. I gave you 50$ for a reason. I remember, in the past, you posted something about not being able to afford food, so you had to go on hiatus. Back then I wanted to help you, after all it is what a prince should do, but you didn't have anything open. Now that you do, I'll give you all the money I want to give you. And I am not taking no as an answer.'

He could tell he didn't have a choice. Even though he really did want to give the money back, he could tell, feel, that Prince would just send it back. If Prince doesn't want the money back, Virgil can't give it back. After all Prince has to accept the transaction.

Blackwings: 'Fine, I won't take the money back, but is there something else I could do? Like maybe, another commission? I want to at least earn the 30$.'

TheRoyalPrince: 'Something else you can do?'

...

Virgil waited for a response.

TheRoyalPrince: 'Actually there is something you can do.'

Blackwings: 'Really? What is it?'

TheRoyalPrince: 'Be my friend!'

'What?' "What?" He was so dumbfounded that he voiced his confusion outloud.

Blackwings: 'You want to be...friends?'

TheRoyalPrince: 'Of course! I actually wanted to talk to you for awhile now, but didn't know how to start.'

Reading this, Virgil didnt know what to do. He hesitated for a moment before replying.

Blackwings: 'I'm not worth 30$. Trust me. But if that's really what you want, then okay.'

He truly believed, at this point, that he wasn't worth anything. Although he is happy, because he would get a friend, or at least someone to talk to. He's scared. What if after talking for awhile, Prince finally realises that he isn't worth it. He doesn't deserve Prince's friendship.

TheRoyalPrince: 'You're not worth...? Well of course you aren't worth 30$! You are worth so much more. Everyone shouldn't have a price tag attached to their life.'

TheRoyalPrince: 'It seems as though you have convinced yourself that you are not worth much. I will change that!'

TheRoyalPrince: 'Here's my phone number: 727-371-XXXX. Just text me and let me know that it's you.'

TheRoyalPrince: 'and don't talk about yourself that way. I may not know much about you, but I'm sure you don't deserve to be hated by yourself.'

At this point, it's almost time to leave. Virgil finishes up his omelet, picks out neat looking clothes, and fixes his hair. Just before he leaves his apartment, he sends a text message to Prince.

'It's Blackwings. I'm heading of to one of my jobs. I'll let you know when I'm free.'

He assumes this text should be good enough, so he opens up the front door, ignoring the slight happiness, that Prince's last reply, left in his heart.

[sonicenvy]

i got tagged by @itsthenerdwonder​ for this fun lil tag meme.

im a lazy butthead so im not tagging people except @lesbidar​ if you want to do it (bcs i tag u in like literally every one of these posts lol)

about me:

name: margaret

gender: female

star sign: aries

height: uhhhhh over 5ft???? i think

age: 21 (as of last week)

sexuality: ya girl is bi af

house: slytherin 

what image do you have as a background? boy are ur ready for this folks?

chromebook: sandakin.jpeg

acer aspire (1): space photo

acer aspire (2): my own nature photography

work computer: my dog back when she was a lil’ pupper

latitude: the stained glass window from beauty and the beast

iphone: carrie fisher/leia organa collage (lockscreen), space (background)

have you ever had a crush on a teacher? maybe idk

where do you see yourself in 10 years? jesus i have no idea. i have no conception of time so i dont like plan for the future all that well. ideally id love to be living in my own apartment, have a job that doesnt bore me to tears, live in an interesting city and own a dog or cat. 

if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

uhhh idk. id like to be in europe or back home in chicago i guess idk

what was your coolest halloween costume? ok so when we were kids, my mom would make me and my siblings our own homemade halloween costumes. we’d get to go to the fabric store and pick out (1) pattern each. so anyways once when i was like fourteen or something i decided that i wanted to be like a steampunk lady, so i found a pattern for that. it ended up being like $15 for the pattern and like $95 for the fabrics. im still so glad my mom was ok with doing that for me. probably because outside of costume time we didnt spend much time with mom so she ... just went for the costumes. i wish i had a picture of it somewhere to show yall but like i dont. mom probably does.

what was your favorite 90s show? buffy or tnaos

last kiss? neverever im a lonely lil wlw who is still scared of that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

have you ever been stood up? ok so i think i already told yall abt my fifteenth birthday party -- aka that time everyone that i invited to my birthday party ditched on it the day of bcs some other girl in my year was having a cooler party. so uh yeah. 

have you ever been to las vegas? nope. ive never even been to nevada. 

favorite pair of shoes? ok so i love all my boots right. i super super love my brown leather neiman marcus boots that i bought at a sale i worked for $5

favorite fruit? uh apples or pineapple

the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? i actually am drawing a blank, i do so many stupid things on the daily that like isolating one is probably impossible. i did one time spell my own name wrong in an email to a professor so that happened. also i took a data science course two semesters ago that was at 8:50AM twice a week. dont do that kids.

all time favorite tv shows: wow ur making me choose. thats.... rude. ok so listen: i love miss fisher’s murder mysteries, pushing daisies and brooklyn nine-nine so much even though i dont blog about them a lot. like im just so .... satisfied with canon in all of those shows that i dont really need fandom? if u get my gist. 

last movie you saw in theaters? i actually have no idea. i think the last time i was in a movie theater was in like 2016? i dont really like going to the movies bcs its loud, overstimulating yadayada.

[midz13]

Sorry for being abscent tumblr, I’ve been super busy with the work! I’ll make a mega update here to get us caught up, and ill upload more photos after.

Since unwrapping the environment I have taken it to substance, got all the maps generated, made some optimisations on render time (Still some noise but render time is at 18minutes at some points so wont push it any more - waiting to hear back from Sang on how good the render time is/optimised the scene is before i send render farm requests) and done my animating!! Phew!

The substance painter stuff was good fun - I learend some lessons with the character, and knew the best way to approach this was to put everything under one material that I wanted on one map. To that end I put the entire room (walls floor etc) as one material (due to its physical size and wanting to put text on the floor) and the objects within the room - computers, piping, platform etc - on another atlas. Both atlas’ were 4k, and the only exceptions to that was a few individual maps - one for the robotic arms holding her, as I made them seperate and couldnt/dont know how to combine maps, and one for the pistol (ill show in next post) as I did that after (I decided a couple days before starting animation to test myself to model, wrap and texture a pistol in one day - I did it!! :D

I messed around with colour palette a bit with the room. I wanted a dark ominous room, but felt that showing the room with grey or dark surfaces lost the clean room/labratory feel. I think its vitally important in a sci-fi environment to try to keep real world links as close as possibly as they act like markers for the viewer to follow. I.e. by maintaing an aesthetic in this room or a labratory or hospital with the clean shiney surfaces, and the screen terminals using words like testing etc, the viewer will hopefully understand that its a lab/test facility of some description for the robot - That’s the plan anyway. By making the room darker, it might all into question the use or purpose of building. For example. is she there to be interogated? Has she been captured? As opposed to thinking oh this is a new technology...

I’ve not done any animation before, so was both excited and concerned to start, although it was a nice change of pace and helped keep me interested with a change of the usual workflow.

Luckily, as my story focuses on her being restrained for a large majority of the film, I didn’t have any massively challenging animation to do. However this didn’t mean I would coast the work and get it done as soon as possible. I wanted to make sure her acting and performance read as clearly as possible, as I need her movements to be one of the key indicators of her “state” i.e. human, or robot. I also quickly created blendshapes for her - I planned on her being unable to emote, but I felt this was a bit of a cop out. I didn’t want her to open her mouth, sure, as I felt that was a one way trip to uncanny that I coulnd’t use within the story, and would make her impossible to empathise with (if I had time, sure it would be a fun experiment to see what worked better, but time isnt on my side). This did mean that her emotions were slightly limited , BUT, because i wanted her to see trapped in her own body, and like her faculties were limited (due to the fact her head has been removed and put on a robot!!) I think it worked well. I created blendshapes for fear, sadness, anger, a blink, and a frown (to augment the other emotions). I’m so glad I did these, as the became key in a few of the shots, and really make them pop, and make her “come to life”, so I’m pleased I took the time to do them.

The animation was fun, a few issues came up however, but for the most part it was pretty straight forward. I took some videos of myself doing some of the movements as reference for the animations. I tried to do it in a week or less, which I managed, to make sure that I stay on target time wise, and as I opted to use After Effects to show the screens, I wanted extra time to learn - I want the screens to flash and change, and thought it would also be a good oppotunity to learn how to use After Effects as I’ve not used it at all.

I’ve spent a bit of time too working on camera movement and set up. I’ve weant for a 25mm focal length for most shots to show as much of the set as possible, situating the camera more. I try to frame each shot as well as possible to make it look good, draw the viewers eye to key information, and on a few shots, frame screens so that they can get plot information as to what is going on. It’s been difficult to make sure the camera looks as natural as possible, and not like a maya camera, which is tough. Camera work itself is an entire artform in itself...

So, I want to discuss a few of the issues I’ve had and how I got around them or solved them.

So, as I mentioned I had some issues with the animatiom. These came from the rig, and the blendshape.

First of all the blendshapes for her face - as I think I mentioned before, I did blenshapes for her bicepts so that when she moves her arm, her biceps will tense and relax to show that movement. It’s very subtle and probably never be noticed, but it looks cool when you look for it, and it was a great learning experience. I had to move its order in the channel editor to make sure it moved at the right time within the rig, and it worked totally fine, and easier than I thought! I did the same with the shoulder muscles, but more as corrective blendshapes as the rig/deformations isnt perfect. However, the face blendshapes wouldn’t play ball... I tried adjusting their order, I tried every combination, I tried deleting their history and their transforms, nothing worked - everytime I applied them, her head would shoot off into the distance. I spoke with both Sang and Michael and Patrick Sloan, eventually the 2 Sloans worked out that by deleting the meshes post, and applying them all as one blendshape (originally I did them one by one) it worked. I tried doing them as one BS without deleting them and for some reason it didnt work. I took it as it was and even asked Sang if he knew why (he didnt). As long as it worked though, I didnt care...

The next issue with the rig was something that totally slipped by somehow; When I rotate her global control her chest and abdomen wouldnt deform right AT ALL. I had no idea how it happened and started freaking out. The 2 Sloans couldn’t work it out either. If I grabbed her chest and her global, she would rotate better, but her stomach would twist up strangely. Eventualy Sang diagnosed that the issue was the IK Spine not twisting right, and that I must have done something wrong during the rigging stage. This was super frustrating as I took my time with the rig and followed Sang’s video perfectly. It must have been one little step, a constrain or a parent, that i missed, omited, or applied incorrectly, and more than a month later, it came to the surface. I was especially confused/frustrated as I tested the rig post completion and binding to check, but obviously hadnt used the global control to twist her. Sang found a work around, but it did mean that one of her spine controls was lost. I then realised towards the end of the animating that a few of her poses caused strange deformations, like verts jutting our, or generally not following the rest of her body too well. I would go into weight paints and smooth out the issue as best I could even though I couldnt see anything glaringly obvious, like an arm joint effecting her lower stomach, but now that I’m processing this, I wonder if perhaps losing a handle reassigne weights and didnt do it right??

Another issue I had was her armor and torso/muscles being SUPER Shiny. I couldn’t work this out especially as she looked totally fine within substance. Initially I assumed it was an arnold render setting and that I hadn’t turned samples high enough, but after optimising the samples using Sang’s tutorla (which made the render time too high unfortunately) I realised the issue remained. One day I eventually decided it wasn’t right and that it wasn’t just me - it was too much. I worked my way through Arnold’s material settings, turning this up, down, off, every which way, to see if it effected the shine. I eventually found the culprit was Diffuse Roughness and nothing more, and that by simple adjusting the exposure/alpha in the settings, it reduced this shine completely. The way I set up my materials meant that it effected her whole texture (even though muscle/skin and armor are in different graphs) so I lost a tiny bit of shine to her skin, but I think it still looks fine - if anything before hand her lips looked too shiney, as if she had on lip gloss.

I also had some issues creating the cabling for her helmet. I needed the cabes to flex and bend with her as they moved. In my head the best way would be and IK set up. Initially I tried this, and I use a cube to measure the start and end points, and used an arc to create a perfect bend over the 90 degrees. This was a good idea, and the cable could go from a 90 degree bend to perfectly straight, but any additional bend didnt work and just turned the cable. I then started thinking about IK Splines, and watched a few tutorials online but couldnt get it to work. It made sense though, a spline would allow the perfect movement! Evnetually me and Sang spoke a few times and he was able to find a solution. An spline set up that didnt work like an IK and meant I had to do lots of manual adjustments, but for the most part it looks great. So for the small cables on the sides of her helmet, i kept the simple but effective “fire and forget” IK cables, and for the rear of her head I used the spline, as this area would move and twist much more. It took a while to create and solve, but meant that it looked good and only took a small amount of additional work to animate.

I will upload some more images, such as test shots, the pistol (which barely gets any screen time, but only took a day to work on so not a massive loss.

Only a few weeks to go! Waiting for Sang to get back to me on scene set up and optimisation, once that gets the green light I’ll start sending render farm requests!

[shaddy-bee]

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

[biomorphic-chameleon]

3 AM Post

It’s been a while since I wrote or even posted. So that’s why this is a thing. I’m jamming out to old 90′s and 2000′s music so that’s fun. I might rant here or just type nothing but stuff I understand. I’m pretty tired and it is 3 am so im just gonna let my fingers go at it and ill edit the mistakes later. So Julie and I had our 2 year anniversary 2 days ago. I wish we could’ve celebrated it on our acutal anniversary but becasue it was a tueday during a school week it was hard to do that. We celebrated it on sunday which was super fun and even tho we lost our snap streak, the memories we made that day were so worth it. Like snap streaks are cool and all but what’s even better are REAL LIFE MEMORIES with PEOPLE YOU CAN BE WITH. That’s what matters to me. Sure I’m a computer geek who is learning his place and is on his computer a lot of the time gaming or studying or jsut messing around. But to be honest, I’d rather be with Julie with no internet than without her and with internet. She’s just so amazing and I can’t stop thinking about her ever. I used to be a more messed up guy than I am now, and the majority of me being better is her helping me or the thought of our future and how I want to be with her and give her a good life. I want her happy. I hope I’m doing that... I really need to start writing and drawing more. I want to get better at both. God I suck at schedules or rather sticking to a daily plan. I’m very lighting brained like I call it. I blink from one thing to another and then back in a flash. I branch out like lighting and just do everything my brain wants me to do at that moment. Isn’t it weird that we are literally just our brain! LIKE THTAS ALL WE ARE. our heart and everything else can be replaced. but not our brain because thats what we LITERALLY ARE. ALSO please some one give me drawing requests so I can put my mind to something. Maybe I wont edit this so peaople can see how tired I am. Ya ill do that. Ow my eye really hurts. Fricken dry eyes are the worst, I hope none of your eyes hurt. It sucks. OMG like 3 nights ago I was so scared I didnt wanna leave my room at like 5 am cuase it was dark but I really needed to pee. Dont worry, I made it, I had to text julie so I wouldnt be as scared. I’m still a kid but thats okay. I wanna be like other 19 year old crazy kids and do art and write. Oh wait i said this alreayd. oh well. welp good night the rest of you. happy lives and stuff. dont let anyone bring you down, cause at the end of the day when ur up at 3am and ur S.O. is asleep you have you and you need to love urself and think ur awesome to help you and when u can help you you can help others! Peace guys im out this time!

[thevoidofshitposts]

I was tagged by @fersaurio thanks luv. Uhhhhh this is gonna be really weird. Rip im on my phone atm in class replying to this cause my proff cant use a computer. 1) I started off painting landscapes . I didnt switch to drawing/painting people untill i was 14/15 range. Ive only been doing people for 5 years roughly. But i had like 0 friends and all i did was draw. To this day the only person i talk to on a normal basis is my bf. Because he drags me out of my room away from my art tablet so i dont over do it. Lol. 2) I really love to sew . Though im crap at it and normaly only do it for cons . I also have a bad habbit of not finishing projects and forgetting about them. 3) im a 2nd year university student with a bad leaving things to the last minit habbit. Also getting off topic. But yet im a workaholic with art and have spent 12 hours stright on stuff many times with little breaks. I lose track of time when vent doodling. 4) when i was in 4th grade i spent 2 months with my parents in a rv and drove from my city in canada to california. Ive been to a fair amount of attactions and sights that i dont even recall. 5) i clean when im stressed out and yet my room is still a trash pit some how. I can confirm my room is a endless void of landry and random things. My cosplays are never all in one place. I still cant find my skirt for my brs uniforme. 6) i collect sharp and shiny things. Sadly after we rearanged my room i cant find any of my shit half the time and randomly impail my self on things. Or trip. Or just sit on the floor looking into the void that is my room blankly untill i recall why i came into my room in the first place. Im mentaly 80 i swear some times. Get off my lawn. 7) the doctors at the hosptail once told me that corpeses had more color in there face then me. I wish i was kidding. I need more sun. i also freaked out there med students that were touring in the er because i took 3 fluid bags in a iv and my blood pressure still didnt go up to normal level where i should be awake. But i was just chilling fine once the pain killers kicked in. lol also apprently i have like no veins anyware but in my hand that the full time needle guy can never find. In the blood work flie for me they have in blod text " use a hot pack on hand " lol. Also that it might take 12 (that one time sucked) times min 3 . Rarely one. My body fucking hates me. Im always sick. Always. 8) I had a stalker for two years untill they moved ((and i got a restraining order)). So im a wee bit cautious with people offline. 9) Im really intrested in history. Debated doing my minor in classics instead of anthropology. But the professor i would have to take a class from inorder to get it is a huge ass hole. So no also debated dropping out of unoversoty and going to art school like my mother want me to . At this point im only staying in uni to be a spitefull little shit. Plus degree with skeletal anatomy can be good for anything really. And i like looking at the material even though it smells awful. I plan on making a summary post on what it is i study some day. 10) Im a huge dork. I really am. Im apprently good at puzzel games ? i beat 100 levels in a day once. Ended up 4th on the leader board and then gave up because i got board meh. Currently dropped down to 29th place after not touching it for 3 weeks.

[growingrootsinco]

My Timeline

This exercise is designed to help pick the patterns in my behavior. Along the way I'm sure I will find other uses for it. First, a few reminders. DO NOT go back and edit. DO NOT beat around the bush. Accuracy is key.

2011

Working retail. In a relationship that is mind numbing. Brand new at this and dont have much to report. Not even sure what to write here.

2012

Fighting feelings of guilt. He's finally been put behind bars. I think I may need counseling.

Feeling guilty. Wanna kill myself.

2013

Fired from job. On unemployment. Still in BS relationship. Not sure this timeline is panning out to be what I thought it would.

New a new start. Signed up for college classes. Dental Assisting. Not something I would have thought I would choose. Worth a try.

School is turning out to be fun. Trouble paying but dad is helping. Gave me a car to get into San Antonio. I can feel the stress subsiding. Step grandfather passed. No emotion for someone who was such a prick towards the end of his life.

Christmas was a disaster. So many snobby family members.

2014

Ok. I think I'm getting this timeline thing. Hard to not go back and change it though.

Enjoying school. Especially clinicals. Will start my hours soon the graduate.

Relationship is okay now that he stays gone all week. I think I hate him.

Hours in my clinicals are rough with no pay. Got a job at a little cafe about 20 hours a week. Love my boss and his wife.

Clinicals FINALLY done. Job searching time.

OMFG clinical hours do not count as experience therefore no experience equals no job. wtf.

FML still no fucking chances anywhere. Suicidal thoughts.

Mom flipped the fuck out as usual. Took the boyfriends side because she was wrong. Would have rather him have gone. Getting tired of both of them anyway.

Time to hold it down on my own. His health is bad. Which makes me feel bad for wanting him gone. I think I have checked out emotionally. Or never checked in.

2015

Finally got my foot in the door at an office. Found someone I can learn everything from. She's awesome. The doctor is a douche but I can deal. Besides what man isnt a douche?

Theres something wrong with this office. So many people being secretive and my office manager is a total bitch. A "mean girl".

Gotta stop reading over this everytime I come in here. I want to change it!

Ok my 6 months is up for experience, time to look for another office. My mentor flaked and left. On my own.

Put in 2 week notice only to have my pay raised and promoted to office manager. Do I really want to sit behind a desk instead of working on patients?

Still in dead end relationship. Still hate him. Suicidal thoughts.

I think I'm getting this timeline down. Starting to see my patterns already. Even if I dont write them in here. How to fix them?

Easy holidays without family. Spent them with friends in Bastrop. Relief!

2015

Still working in the same office for more pay. Found out why everyone is so secretive. Doctor is a mess. In debt up to his eyeballs, no longer getting paid on time, misappropriated funds on a regular basis, has no business sense what so ever, deals with shady people, I doubt his abilities due to MANY pissed off patients, holy shit, the list goes on. Back to the drawing board for a new job.

2 surgeries almost back to back. I'm falling apart. Suicidal thoughts.

Well fuck. Jobs are everywhere but pay is a bitch. Nothing matches it. Cant quit here if I cant sustain my living situation.

BS relationship has finally taken its toll. Verdict is in. I hate his guts. Tired of doing everything myself. Spends all his time on the computer chating with girls. What do I care? Maybe one of them will take him in. Why do I want to strangle him in his sleep?

2016

Got a new house but still not happy.

Tried out a new office but it's not the same. I think I got use to the chaos. Alot of blood sweat and tears have gone into that office. Went back.

Doctor has hired an overpriced nanny. This bitch is gonna drive me to drinking. I've been replaced. Good thing or bad thing?

Starting to understand my emotions. Realizing my family is the root of my issues in life. Now I'm becoming content with no contact. Just have to figure out this BS relationship.

On my birthday, I think I found my SM. Talking on a regular basis. And finally figured out what to do about BS relationship.

2017

Missed a bunch of time on this so I'm writing it in 2019 and trying to write as I would have in that time and frame of mind. Using things from other posts to help write this.

New home again but cant afford it without help. Took on roommate. She's awesome.

Hanging with Boozefighters next door is a really good time.

Fired from job for insubordination. What a bitch!

Depression setting in. I want out of this town. Suicidal thoughts.

Dad is helping me move back to hometown and can already tell I was right about my family. My daughter is pissed!

Trying to find comfort in family but wanting more than anything for SM to give in.

First job back in retail because dental pay is BS.

Things with SM are rocky. A couple of jail stays and lots of drinking. Having trouble keeping my head on straight and leaning back on emotions instead of thinking logical.

SM busted! Now what? Something always sets me back. Wtf? What is so wrong with my choices in life?

Got a place together. More drinking...... and some fighting......... and court........

Realized I went off the reservation due to my feelings for him. Haven't thought logical in some time.

These feelings have to be real. Cant fight them. But emotions are unreliable.

More turmoil with family. Trying to reconcile with mother. Didnt got well. Fuck it!

2018

Lost car at Christmas and finding it hard to hold onto my job. Feeling depressed again. Suicidal thoughts.

Only thing I'm sure of are my feelings for SM. He's got me and now I'm scared of what I may do for him.

Job is suffering so transfer and begin walking to work.

Realizing the hold SM has on me and it's dangerous. Is it healthy to be this attached? Should I distance myself? HELL NO

Bought a new car. But now I need a new job and SM is leaving me to serve time.

Moved in with grandmother when SM goes into serve time. I'm slipping again. More depression and anxieties are back.

New job is overnights and not sleeping like I need to. I want him home! Job isnt going well from depression and 2 hospital visits for sleep deprivation and malnutrition. Job is too demanding and anger creeping up.

Transfer to different department hoping it helps but instead get hours cut.

Weekend drives to unit for visits that never seem to last long enough. Cant touch him like I need to, like i want to.

Dont want to do a fucking thing if he cant be with me. Cancelled on so many things with friends. Is this what my life has come to?

Searching for a new job. Wtf is wrong with this town. Part time only and everyone is short staffed.

Cant pay bills at my grandmothers. 500 dollar electric bill. Fuck this!

I'm cracking..... had an emotional breakdown and unsure of how to hold myself together.

Hanging with people I know I shouldnt and offered a chance at Colorado. Do I take it?

Got another part time overnight. What the hell am I doing killing myself like this? Fuck this town and fuck this whole goddamn state!

Took the Colorado offer but I know he will have issues with it. How to handle it? It's where he wants to be but doubt we would make it there by his hand.

Packed up, missed a visit. He's going to go ape shit! Daughter is more excited then I am because I cried all the way here. Why does it feel wrong at the same time?

Well I was right. He went ape shit.

Colorado is a culture shock but I can feel myself calming. Driving the amish all over is peaceful and informative. But hurting for money. Place we are staying in is run down and not fit for habiting.

SM sent a letter. If I dont go back, its over. I guess it's over. I dont have the money to go back. Hold onto hope that he will be here when he gets out anyway.

Got a job with the county that's going well. I now understand what I have to do to complete my main goal. (Main goal is in another post.)

Opened the guitar up to stare at it and cry all day. Wth............

Christmas was rough. Still on the fence about my decision to come here even though most of the time I'm at peace with the views here.

2019

Person I came with is expressing feelings towards me. Not feeling it.

Working 2 part time jobs so I can stop driving the amish but tired of the travel with one job.

Got a place in Romeo. Its decent but I've been ripped off. This asshole needs to be shot. Speaking of being shot. I'm being threatened and I have 2 gunshots in my house.

Rightful owner let me buy it from her. Ok I can do this. Now to do something about the asshole who ripped me off. The fucker lives right across the street.

Against my better judgement J moves in. I think I need protection. Bought a gun. Bad idea. J is a felon. He's not here alot but appearance is what matters. Wtf. I guess I'm back to using people again.

Turns out we make a good team. Accomplishing quite a bit to achieve my main goal. I still dont feel like he does but I'm getting shit done.

Bought a trailer house, 2 parcels of land, a boat, 2 cars and a camper trailer. Way to go!!!

What the hell did I just do? I just made things way more complicated and started something I have no intentions of finishing. Heart breaking again.

Fighting, fighting, fighting. I finally understand how SM felt about me in the beginning. Suicidal thoughts.

My daughter is settling in nicely. Started a three some relationship and taking after my mother. Lol Now she's met a guy and starting to find herself.

My daughter turned 18! Holy shit I'm old............

SM is in a halfway house......... he didnt sound happy and I think my heart is breaking again. J is flipping out on me again over SM. Pressure is on. Dont slip again. Stay focused.

Yay! for phone time! Again confirming my emotions are real this time.

My daughter graduated. Yup, I'm still old. And getting older by the minute.

Went to Midland to clear up the storage unit. Fuck! It's all gone. Destroyed! All his stuff is gone. I've gotta replace it all.

Ok home ownership sucks! Everything breaks and has to be fixed........ twice!

Cleared my head. For once........

Divorce is final. 16 years and now back in contact with my son. Feeling complete.

Job is going great.

In negotiations on another home and a restaurant.

Joined 2 community boards and Search & Rescue.

Talk therapy helped me come to a conclusion. Time to let go of SM.

Married J. Did I do whats best for my future?

This time around, marriage has proved to be easier than the first. Im all in but fearful of not knowing what the future holds.

Notes

Fill in above the notes as you go. Remember. Dont edit or erase. Dont fucking touch it other than adding. Calling yourself out only works when the truth is written down. Yes they will change consistently. Find your patterns. Truth means sensitive information so dont let anyone read it unless you are ready for anger. If you happen to mentor someone in the future, that might not be a good idea! And pay attention during depression spells. Ever emotion counts.

Had the best holidays ever. Real trees are a mess though.

2020

Finally got full time with benefits at the County

Set up my retirement and 401. This is what I have wanted my entire life. And life insurance!

Pandemic approaching.

Lockdown! Sent home for 2 months with pay.

Took up arts and crafts and gardening to pass the time.

Stimulus check. Bought my daughter a car.

Lots of facetime with my son!

Back to work. So many restrictions.

COVID cases are declining.

County in trouble financially. How much longer will I have a job?

Paid of the house! After a court battle from attempting to rip us off. Again........

Gained another family member.

Going back on lockdown with pay again.

[wolfbunsart]

Im gonna ramble on for a bit, so gonna put this under a Read More.

TL/DR: I find it real hard to find any time to draw recently, and Id like to apologize to all the people who support me, either through social media, Patreon or commissions, for not putting out enough content. Ill try to change that, and put out more furry stuff on your timelines and dashes.

I have not been putting out as enough content as I would like to. That wouldnt usually matter to most people, “oh ill just draw when i get the chance”, “well at least its just a hobby so it doesnt matter if i dont do it” and all that.

However, now I feel a certain sense of responsibility. Earlier this year I launched my Patreon so that if people wanted to support me with any ammount they wanted each month, they could, while I could repay their kindness with temporarily exclusive art. I also made it so that it would keep me motivated to keep drawing more, specially by making polls for patreon supporters for getting feedback on who or what should I draw next. 

Thats why I didnt put any specific reward tier for it other than “$1 a month for all exclusive content”, so that if anyone wanted to pitch in they could. I considered making more tiers further down the line once I got used to working on it or enough people seemed interested. However things started going downwards from there.

I launched my Patreon on January, a few weeks before the end of winter break. I fooled myself thinking Id have enough time to put out rewards on a decent schedule because the very first picture I did, I did in one night. I was probably just motivated cause I had been drawing a lot around that time, but I did it quickly, and in my opinion it was very good, so its not like I was sacrificing quality over doing it quickly. So I thought “hell yeah I can do this” and launched the Patreon.

However I eventually had to go back to school. Im a college student, and Im getting close to finishing my way through college (currently on my 8th out of 9 semesters), which means I keep getting busier and busier doing school work, attending classes, working on projects, and everything in between. Add all that to the housework I gotta do in the room I rent, plus all the traveling I have to do when visiting my parents, and that leaves me with almost no time for art.

Now you may think “ok but you gotta have SOME free time. Yes, but after all the stress and all the stuff I have to deal with its really hard to just come home and be like “now I feel like I could draw for several hours!”. Most of the time I just nap because Im so physically or emotionally exhausted, or just take some time to play videogames to de-stress. Heck, even during spring break I was like “hell yeah Im gonna have a full week to get caught up on my art” and my computer started having issues that i spent more than half of the week fixing.

So I feel like Im letting my Patreons down. Having long periods without time to draw was always a possibility I considered, but since its pretty much “donate what you want” I didnt worry too much about it, cause its not like Im asking for $10 out of everyone and not delivering on anything. However since the Patreon had enough success I was really happy with all the support, Id just check Patreon all the time and be amazed and happy at how much people wanted to support me for drawing dumb hunky animals.

That all changed though. Because Im not putting out art, people have been removing their pledges. Which is like, SUPER undestandable. Youre not gonna pay me for not doing anything. But like, its been so many, it really kicks off my anxiety. Now I cant check Patreon unless I have to, because doing so makes me legitimately super anxious.

The thing is its not only Patreon. Ive been taking sketchmmissions, which means Ive had some long overdue things to draw for people, and I feel a bit of a “need” to put out Shark Dude and other free content as well. Heck, most of the time I just look at other peoples art and I feel really disappointed that I havent had time to draw and it makes me pretty sad. 

Even when I do have free time for art, its a bit of a struggle: I have to choose what to prioritize, do I draw something for the Patreon cause I had no rewards this month? Or do I draw something for the commissioner who is paying more for just the one picture? Or do I draw something quick and free, that most people will enjoy, but also Im not working on the things that people actually give me money for?

So, this is an official apology to everyone.

To my Patreons, Im so sorry if Ive made you feel like youre wasting your money. I gotta find some way to fix up a schedule, or change the way of how I deal with the rewards. Maybe post more sketches instead of just finished pictures? Do the Image Pack thing? I dunno, Ill figure something out.

To my Commissioners, Ill get to your commissions as soon as I can, and Ill try to deliver something worth your wait. For anyone who wants to commission me in the future though, I might cut down on opening commissions until I can have more free time. Like, only open them until summer break and that kind of stuff. I originally wanted to do at LEAST 5 sketchmmissions a month this year, but boy that aint happening huh.

To everyone else, who may support me with retweets, reblogs, sharing, likes, comments, replies, and everything in between, Ill try to get more content done in general. Commissions is a thing you guys can enjoy when Im done with that, but patreon exclusives are different. I wanted to share Patreon stuff as soon as like 2 months after but since Im not making enough rewards I wanna keep them exclusive for a bit longer to justify the lack of exclusives. Ill try to make more Shark Dude stuff as well too.

But above all of that, to every one of you: Thank you, for putting up with me, and enjoying my art.

[comfypants4life]

First Cosplay at 28

It’s never too late to start, right?

I’ve wanted to cosplay since I first saw someone on the internet doing it in university. But I was broke and a full time student and most importantly, I was not happy with my body. I’d done crash diets before and I loved how I looked after two weeks of barely eating, followed by the years in between where I would gain it all back and then some. I put it aside as something I would do when I had more time (to get in shape) and money. As soon as I started working I had absolutely no time and I got a puppy! So no cosplay for me! And as the years past by the cosplay community grew and I started seeing cosplayers that were plus size or cosplaying out of their skin colour. This world was becoming so accessible and I loved it! And I sat at my computer planning out the perfect costumes for this years FanExpo, never getting to it and wearing a fan shirt or pjs (as I have a few). 

But it really wasnt enough. Everything was prepackaged and it didnt feel earned. I put so much thought into making a tsunade costume and then in the end being too lazy to make a damn green hapicoat. It was me being lazy as usual.  Last year I was so fed up with myself and my life I needed a big change. I quit my job with nothing to go into. I couldn't help it, I was so unhappy, thats all I want to share about it. 

I began to focus on me and what I wanted to do. I dont want to go into everything I did to change, because I’m still trying to figure out what I need to change. And I just started writing about myself and Im shy!

Long story short, I re-discovered I liked creating things. I helped my family renovate my grandmas condo and then tried my hand at cosplay. 

I absent-mindedly typed my last name into YouTube one day and found the Overwatch minibackstory movie ‘Dragons’. I flipped out. I messaged my dad and uncle who had a few eerie similarities (no dragons or gangster connections, though I wish! :P). I’m the eldest Shimada in my family and I’ve loved a ton of archers in my day (Legolas started it all hehe) so Hanzo caught my interest right away; an elder Shimada with a crazy bow and that dragon tattoo. Was it fate!? (hehe) Looking at his costume, looked perfect for a beginner like me: the pants were baggy and the top didn’t even fit him! He didnt have nearly as many accessories as the other characters and the hair meant I didnt need a wig. This was going to be my perfect first cosplay.  I downloaded the trial as soon as I could and realized... I sucked as Hanzo, and I was much better as Genji! T-T I’m more of a hack and slash player! But I did not let that deter me! Ok it deterred me a little. I was suppose to be this skilled ninja archer and they only time I got kills were with the damn dragon! And what about all those other characters that I actually was so into but had no idea where to begin with them. What about Tsunade or Rogue! Naruto had ended awhile ago and no one was talking about Tsunade. It was a tough call but I knew a genderbent Hanzo had not been done to death and it was new and relevant. Not the most genuine reasons to do it but like I said, I really did like the character! I just wasn't too great at using him.

1. Budget- $100

I wasn’t going to go over board with this whole cosplay thing. Searching ready to wear costumes I realized I did not have the budget to spend $$$ on a shiny version of the kimono I wanted. It looked cheap and it would be quite obvious that I had no hand in making it. I just gave myself the figure of $100 to work with and tried my best to find things that would fit and that I could go to with my dog (aka within walking distance). Fortunately there is a Michaels, a DeSerres, a limited dollar store and an art college store within a 1km radius of where I live :D the benefits of living downtown! But no home depot/ big box home improvement stores to help me out. 

2. That damn bow. 

Looking at Hanzo the first things you notice are his badass shoulder and arm tattoo and that massive bow. Having the character reference for Hanzo was my salvation and seeing the scale of the bow beside his was daunting. It was basically 4/5 as tall as me and with the tips I knew this was going to be the breaking point of this cosplay. If I couldnt do this then I wasn’t going to continue. All the videos and tutorials I watched used tools or products I didn’t have access to or were too expensive. I tracked down a store downtown that sells supplies for a fair price and even at that I couldnt justify using worbla. And forget about making a 5 tall bow out or wood- I didn’t have space for a saw in my condo! 

I could not find the foam that I saw a few cosplayers using so I needed to get creative. It needed to be light but sturdy enough. I decided to go with the largest 1 inch styrofoam board I could get my hands on 2 2x3 feet sized pieces! It was light as air and large enough that my while pattern would fit with room to spare on one piece! I took full advantage and then some with the Michaels coupons ranging from 40-50% off I didn’t bother looking anywhere else. 

I broke the pattern into six pieces, traced the pattern out like I saw in a million tutorials and then tried to put it all together. However I forgot how much styrofoam shits little balls everywhere when the knife isn't sharp enough. I also did not realize how brittle and impressionable it was! I held it too firmly while I was sanding one side and it was forever dented on the one side. I covered my work with acrylic molding paste and gave it the modpodge then gesso treatment. Days went by as I worked on each piece individually. And when I went to put it all together of course it didn’t fit well! 

I will save the rest of the details for my next post that will be focused on this costume because this is becoming way too long of a post. TO WRAP IT UP>>

My point is that even though you research and try to plan your cosplay/ life out shit goes wrong and you got to find a way of getting pass it. There’s times where you just want to give up, you question why you are even doing this at all. But I’ve learned that sometimes you got to just take a step back and breathe. Talk to your friends, even if they are not experts on it they can give you a different perspective and at the very least offer encouragement. Go back to the drawing board and see if there is something you missed because you thought you knew all the answers. Just don’t give up and don’t stop. Because its so much harder to start back again after you’ve given up. And a lot of the little things that you think people will shit on are barely notice unless you bring it up. Focus on the parts of your cosplay/ life that you are proud of and thankful for and learn from those mistakes and make something amazing next time!