#and i didnt feel like doing any more with this

[morganalefae]

it actually means so much to me that tai and shauna seem to hold the most anger towards coach ben. they're the most willing to believe that he burned the cabin down not because they truly think he did it, but because of the way he abandoned them and looked down on them.

tai and shauna were the only ones who took shauna's pregnancy seriously- or at least understood the reality of it. partially because tai was the first to know, she helped shauna with the attempted abortion, she was the first that shauna confided in. they treat the pregnancy with much more gravity than the other characters, because they know how fucking dangerous and terrifying it is for shauna, to give birth in the wilderness with no medical care, no doctors, a rapidly dwindling food supply.

tai and shauna (and nat) are also the ones who struggle the most after eating jackie. tai because her other self took over in that moment, so on some level she has no idea what she's done until afterwards. shauna because they ate jackie, her best friend, the person she loved, hated, and whose death she caused.

for coach ben to look down on them, treat them like uncontrollable monsters who would turn on him and eat him next, to talk as if he's better than them for abstaining... yeah. i can see why tai and shauna would be angry. does he think they wanted this? to be driven to this? does he think they liked it? and the fact that, on some level, they did like it, they dont feel as bad as they probably should.... coach ben, like jackie, is the voice of judgement that they absolutely dont need. what right does he have to judge them?

because, coming back to shauna's pregnancy, coach ben may have had no clue what to do for her, or been able to help in any way, but he was the only adult figure that they had. to him, they didnt listen to him anymore, they didnt see him as an authority figure or value his opinion, but the yellowjackets still care about him, looking to him for guidance and reassurance. theyre still just kids. scared, terrified, unsure kids, one of whom is about to go through an incredibly traumatic birth, so they look to coach for something, anything... and he walks away. to the only room with a real bed, which (in my opinion) he could have offered to shauna during her last few months of pregnancy. instead, ben separates himself from the yellowjackets almost completely. shauna gives birth with her only help being teenagers who have no idea what theyre doing, but at least theyre doing something.

its easy for tai and shauna to hate coach ben. to blame him for the fire. him disappearing right when javi dies and they eat him is obviously no coincidence. and his obvious disgust, his morally superior attitude, the fact that he didnt care enough to even try and help shauna when she was in labour, and now javi's death? why wouldn't he try and kill them? why wouldnt he try and take them all out in one go? they're monsters. thats what he thinks anyway.

i dont believe coach ben set the fire anymore. i dont believe tai did either, but thats an entirely different post. his speech in 3e04 was moving, but it was tai and shauna who really made me feel their anger, their betrayal. he didnt just fail them, he judged them, he abandoned them and then he tried to kill them.

[ki2rins]

⟢ SUGARBOT - pjs

eleven - phone call

warnings: petnames (good girl) , mention of being cheated on, just yn spilling her guts out about her insecurities in the written part.

written wc: 1523 words

prev | masterlist | next

the phone buzzed quietly on the nightstand, loud enough to disrupt your slumber. groggily, you reached for your phone and answered the call. “hello?” you mumbled, still trying to shake off the remnants of sleep.

“hello pretty, enjoyed your sleep?” an unfamiliar voice flowed to your ears, like a tune you had never heard before.

wait this cant be happening…

you sat upright immediately, your heart suddenly racing. your eyes scanned the caller id, and there his name showed “jjongie ෆ”. you thought your mind was playing tricks on you, but no, there it was, the name, the phone call you hadnt expected to see on your screen.

at that moment, the unfamiliar voice spoke up again, breaking the silence. “you awake yet, sweet girl?” his voice had you in a chokehold, your throat tensed up and nothing came out of your mouth when you tried voicing something out.

“um hi…im awake.” you muttered out softly after clearing your throat, dry from both your words and from your sleepiness. your voice felt fragile while your heart beat faster than usual, anticipating what he’ll say next.

the guy on the other side of the line was panicking, jay’s usual calm and composed demeanour faded away. he was like a middle schooler calling his crush for the first time. each word that came out of his mouth spilled out with much consideration, not wanting to scare the poor girl that just woke up.

“so…um i just wanted to wake you up and um…make sure you were well rested before doing your assignments again.” jay quickly said, stammering out of pure nervousness. he tried treating it like one of his daily business calls, but how so when your presence is on the other line?

there was a pause as he hesitated, not hearing a response from you. “im sorry. im pretty sure you werent expecting me to really call you.”

“no jjongie, its okay. its nice hearing from you, makes me more certain that i havent been talking to some random stranger.”

hearing those words made jay’s heart skip a beat. maybe not just a beat. he was hundred percent sure it skipped a couple of beats. you called him jjongie - the nickname you chose to call him by. the specially curated nickname that touched the depths of his heart.

a warm smile spread across jay’s face, the tension in his voice easing just slightly. “thank you, sweet thing. you dont know how much that means to me.” he murmured, his voice softer now. “just didnt want you to overwork yourself. must be odd hearing this from a workaholic huh?”

you chuckled hearing him bring up the joke you made earlier. “come on! you arent letting it go huh!”

you flopped back onto your bed, your mind racing, not from confusion or awkwardness anymore, but from the undeniable connection that had been building between you both. you were sure this wasnt just infatuation, you were straight up falling for him. but there was still that underlying sense of disbelief - how could someone just be so nice towards you?

you had your fair share of relationships - puppy love, situationships, talking stages, exes, been there, done that. you ended your last relationship with a classmate named jiwoo six months ago, who unexpectedly cheated on you. at first, he treated you like he was head over heels for you, downbad even, comparable to how jay is currently treating you, which makes you so wary of him, and any hidden intentions he had.

but something about jay just feels different. his genuine care for your well-being felt completely unforced, like something you hadnt felt before, not even from your three close friends.

“are you still there?” jay’s voice broke through your thoughts, warm and a little concerned.

“yea, sorry…just thinking of something.” you replied softly, your voice trailing off as the weight of your thoughts settled in.

“well, care to share whats on your mind then? maybe you’ll feel better after you let it out.” jay said, his tone gentle yet persistent, almost like he genuinely wanted to know what was bothering you.

you hesitated for a moment, unsure of how much you wanted to reveal. but something about how he phrased his words just made him seemed like a safe space to share whatever was weighing on your mind without judgement.

“its just…i dont know. i guess this whole thing just caught me off guard? wasnt really expecting someone or you, to suddenly come into my life and treat me like the greatest gift of all time.” you started, your voice barely above a whisper. “i cant lie, i have been treated like this before and after that i just get crushed into gravel, like i was nothing to them. so i guess…im just scared that this ‘whole being nice to me’ thing is just too good to be true. i dont know what you want from me, jjongie. and thats the part i cant figure out, and it scares me.”

there was a pause on the other end of the line, and for a second, you wondered if you had said too much, overshared or even scared him off with the sudden confession of your insecurities. but then jay spoke, his voice steady and reassuring.

“dont be scared, pretty.” that simple sentence from jay could easily sweep you off from your feet, but the fear still stays. but what he says next really stemmed the feelings you have for him.

“heres the thing and i want you to hear this clearly okay? i dont want anything from you, little girl. if i demand something from you, the only thing i want and the only thing that could satisfy me is your happiness. im not here to use you or throw you aside. im not perfect and im not pretending to be, but what i can promise is that im here for you no matter what. for the real you. i want to see you, all of you. no games, no fake feelings and no hidden agendas.”

his honesty hit you like a truck, and you couldnt help but feel a weight lifted off your shoulders.

“i know its hard to trust me since we just started talking to each other, but im determined to win your trust. i want you for you and i’ll show you that i mean it. im not going anywhere sweet thing. when youre ready, i’ll be here for you, no matter what.”

you took in a shaky breath, feeling the knot in your chest slowly begin to loosen. for the first time in a long while, you felt like maybe, just maybe, you could let your guard down. not all the way, but maybe enough to enjoy this adoration from someone without guilt.

“thank you, jay.” you whispered, the words almost feeling too small for what you were really feeling. “i…i want to believe that. i want-” you paused, unsure if you should really share your true feelings. but a surge of confidence flowed through your body as if it brought the words out of your mouth.

“i want to believe in you.”

there was a soft exhale on the other end of the line, and then jay’s voice, even more gentle now, filled the space between you two.

“you dont have to rush it, sweet thing. like what i always say, you can take all the time you need. im not going anywhere.” his words were soft, softer than the hundred percent cotton pillow you were currently laying on. you closed your eyes for a moment, trying to steady your breath, the calmness in his voice almost making it easier to relax, tempting to make you fall back to dreamland if you could.

“im scared” you admitted, your voice barely audible. “but…i think im starting to trust you.”

upon hearing your words, jay felt his heart warmed up instantly. hearing how you could open up and slowly trust him just made him felt so at ease.

“im honored, pretty, i really am.” jay poured all his sincerity into those six words. “we’ll figure it out together, at your pace.”

your heart fluttered in your chest at his words, and for the first time in awhile, you allowed yourself to believe in the possibility of something pure. for once, you felt that you could let things unfold in their own time.

“thank you.” you whispered again, the words feeling more meaningful this time. “thank you for being patient with me.”

“always, pretty. any place, anytime, just for you.”

the night went on, filled with chatter, laughter and just pure bliss from the both of you. the connection between you two felt more genuine as each word and sentence flowed effortlessly, no longer guarded but completely honest. the uncertainty that once lingered in the air had slowly dissipated, replaced by a warmth that you hadnt expected but welcomed nonetheless.

maybe it was too soon to say, too soon to fully trust as well, but in that moment, you didnt care about anything but just him, and he too, didnt care about anything but just you.

————————————————— rin's yap: my gosh i didnt expect myself to pour my heart and soul into this written part...but really hope yall could see the pure adoration jay and yn has for each other <3

taglist! : open! reply on this post and i'll add you to the taglist

@kaykay11sworld @jvngw0nlvr @meowseong @enhaz1 @jakeswifez @nshmrarki @ice-dandan20 @ziiao @minawannabealone @enhamonsterghoul @d-dilemma @urmomdotcom5678 @starry-eyed-bimbo @r1kixss @jensyed @notab1tchwho @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @jooniesbears-blog @seongiewon @jayyvvhxss @younjo @siimplestar @suhwife @immprettywhenyoucry @machambrx @luvleyylina @maniluvzyou @ezekiel-bublz @lovingjongseong @in-somnias-world @strayy-kidz @xoaumin @wonnieluv @rairaiblog @dark-moon-light02 @ijustwannareadstuff20 @lelestarmy @trinxt @parkjjongswifey @liliansreality @letwiiparkjay @rodelalaland @melodiessvy @millis-diary @antisocialties @jayhoonvroom @nuki-riki @planetmarlowe @k9llgalner @whateveridontcaresheesh

© ki2rins 2025, please do not copy or plagiarise my work.

[spookys1fan]

Here is Hummingbirds full-body ref! ^^

Like I said, a lot more colorful and skinnier than most Fruitwings, not really inspired by any real fruit either, (she kinda looks like one of those rainbow tiger pictures you see on the front of kid coloring books - -*). I didnt really feel like making her scales shiny like how they usually are, partly bc I need her ref colors but mostly bc I was lazy ^^* overall I hope you like her!! I sure do! #> <# <3

[littlxpxtal]

I wish I never met you

TYRANTS || STORY MASTERLIST

PAIRING: rafe cameron x fem!reader

WARNINGS: MDNI 18+ Content, swearing, sexual content, drug and alcohol use, violence

WORD COUNT: 2.5k

Mixing liquor and pot

Heard your brain cells can rot

If my memory was shot

I would like that a lot

I wish I could forget you

May

It was all a blur. The whole day. Zipping up my gown, putting the bobby-pins in my hair to situate the cap on my head.

I wish I could say graduation was the best day of my life, but I barely remember any of it. My name rumbled through the field, my legs moving without a thought. I moved my lips up on my face for the picture, shook hands with faculty that I had never seen or spoken to in my entire life.

The dinner with my parents was bland. They went on and on about college, asking me questions about what I decided to study. I don’t even remember the answer I gave.

I didn’t come to reality until the third time my phone rang while I laid on the edge of my bed, head hanging off the edge with my eye closed, a random record playing on my turntable was at the end and a soft humming noise filled the room.

I decided to finally check who it was, and to no surprise it was Sabrina.

“Hi” I mumbled into the phone, flipping over onto my stomach, one hand barely holding up the phone while the other dangled towards the ground.

”You done with family shit yet?”

”yes.” I answered simply, closing my eyes.

“Well I know you’re out feeling the best but, I really think you should come with me tonight.”

I groaned into my sheets.

“Sab” I whispered, my voice shaking.

“You can’t let this take over your life, y/n. We only graduate high school once.”

her positivity sickened me. I knew she was right. I didnt want her to be.

“Sab its the same shit we’ve been doing all year, what is different about tonight?”

“Well there’s no risk of expulsion”

”hah” it was her turn to groan in response.

“Y/N, im spending the whole summer abroad and I leave next week. I seriously need you to do this for me.”

”you cant pull that shit on me Sabrina its not fair.”

”but its true, y/n. You’re my best friends and I need you. You were a fucking zombie today. Snap out of it.”

there was a period of silence. I sat up in my bed and turned the lamp on.

“Well, what should I wear?” I can tell she tried to hide it, but I could hear her squeal on the other line.

“Cute top and a skirt.”

”I can make that work”

”fuck YA THERE SHE IS” she cheers into the phone. “I’ll pick you up in 15.”

We arrived to see the beach was already filled up, party in full swing. Sabrina gave me a reassuring look before we walked towards them.

”Let’s get some drinks. You deserve one” she says to me. I nod my head, following her lead.

We make our way over to the nearest keg, taking one of the many cups the boys were passing out.

“Grab me two” I whisper in her ear. She smiles wide and winks.

”That’s what im talking about.”

I chugged the first cup,passing it back to the kid who was pouring them out, he filled it back up and we walked with our cups to the dance floor.

“You gonna double fist all night?” Sabrina asks over the music.

”that’s the plan” I mumble back. The speakers are booming a new Metro Boomin song, and we make our way to the group of girls that are dancing.

I lose track of time, and snap back into reality when I notice Sabrina furiously texting on her phone.

“What’s up?” I ask. She hesitantly looks up, and locks her phone, sliding it back into her purse.

“Nothing, just, Toppers here. But, he’s with … his friends. So im just gonna stay here for a bit.” She awkwardly looks away, makes eye contact, then looks away.

“Sab, its okay, I would be an idiot to think he wouldn’t be here, especially with your boyfriend. Go say hi.” I give her shoulder a nudge and she shakes her head.

“No, im here with you.”

”im serious Sab.”

”just one more song. Who knows how long he’ll keep me on his arm if I go now.”

”you know I can fend for myself.” Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift starts playing on the speakers and Sabrina jumps up and down.

”I know, but I LOVE this song”

She starts leading us to the middle of the circle, and we sing to each other, as if we were the only two people on the beach. By the time the song is over, were doubled over laughing,our drinks spilt all over the sand.

“Im gonna go get another drink, you go say hi to topper okay?” She frowns and reaches for my hand.

”Fine, but I’ll be right back okay?” I roll my eyes.

”I told you I’ll be fine. Just go okay?” She smiles and skips away. I watch her walk over to the other side of the crowd, where a group of guys are standing, including Topper, Kelce, and, well of course, Rafe.

I notice everyone’s in conversation, expect for him. He’s just sipping from his cup, staring out into the sea.

I catch myself staring for too long, and realize i'm still in the middle of the dance circle, with two empty cups. I look around for the nearest keg and walk slowly over.

I made empty conversation with the girls standing around the keg while waiting in line, checking my phone every so often. The DJ continues to play songs I like, including pursuit of happiness, collard greens, Roll in Peace and more.

I find myself tipsy, dancing by myself in the sea of people. By the time I finally looked at my phone again, it had been an hour and I had a text from Sabrina.

were fuckin in my car really quick lol I’ll be right back.

that was from 5 minutes ago, so I probably wouldn’t see her for at least another half an hour.

I was tired of dancing, so I started walking towards the edge of the party, closer to the water.

The temperature outside was perfect. There was a slight breeze, not enough for me to put my hair up, but enough to get a whiff of the sea.

I pulled my phone out to take a picture of the water and the moon, before I heard a shout.

“Fucking BITCH”

I could recognize that voice anywhere. I whip my head to the right and see Rafe and another figure a few yards away.

everything in my mind told me not to go. But my heart was controlling my feet. I walked closer, and realized the other person was Noah.

“You ruined fucking EVERYTHING” Rafe growled.

“I didnt do shit expect tell her the truth man. She’s a dirty fucking shut,all you did was make sure I knew.”

I tensed up, and made eye contact with Noah. He smirked and looked back at rafe.

“Perfect timing, y/n, we were just talking about you!” Noah exclaimed, splashing the liquid in his cup in the air.

Rae whips his head back and stares deep into my eyes.

“Y/n,” he whispers. My body is still tense.

“Wh-whats going on” I ask

”your boyfriend - sorry I mean .. your confusing complicated situation ship over here is harassing me.”

rafe keeps his eyes on me. I cant read his expression, he looks empty.

“Maybe, if you just stayed in your place on the cut, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.” Noah shouts at me.

I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out.

I decide its just best if I leave. I start to walk away and hear Noah chuckling.

“This is all YOUR fault” Rafe yells, lunging at Noah. Noah swings back in defense, and I stop in my tracks.

“STOP” a scream escapes my lips and I run over. Rafe is knocked to the ground scrambling to get back on his feet.Noah kicks him back down, and I hear a sharp click, and notice something in Noah’s hand. The smile on his face is terrifying, and as I get closer I realize its a switchblade.

“My god Noah put that thing away.” I whisper.

“If rafe wants to fight, we can fucking fight.”

He points the blade down at rafe who is still struggling to stand.

“Noah, seriously,” I walk towards him and his eyes flicker towards me, down at rafe and back at me. He points the blade up at me, and I start to shake.

“You’re insane” I whisper, taking a step back.

While he’s distracted, Rafe takes the opportunity to pull Noah’s leg, knocking him to the ground. The blade falls from his grip into the sand, and I lunge to get it. He reaches after it too, our bodies colliding. Rafe pulls him away from me while I grab the knife, and he pins Noah down, punching him straight in the face.

“That’s ENOUGH” I shout at the two of them. They both freeze and look up at me. The knife is dangling from my hand pointed down.

“Noah get the fuck out of here. And don’t EVER pull this shit again. You’re just embarrassing yourself.” He scrambles to his feet, patting the sand off his pants.

“Give me my knife back y/n” he commands. I shake my head.

”I’ll give it to you when you’re sober.”

he looks over at rafe. Something in his face must’ve scared him, because he makes a beeline back to the party.

I walk slowly towards rafe and pass him the knife. He safely closes it and stuffs it in his pocket.

“What’s wrong with you?”

He huffs, brushing sand off himself. He turns to look at the water, and his shoulders slump.

”I wish I knew” he whispered. After a brief moment of silence he turns to me, with sadness in his eyes this time.

“Look, y/n, im really-“

”I don’t want to fucking hear it okay? How many times are you going to put me through this. Like seriously?”

His jaw twitched and he looked down, running a hand over his hair.

“It hurts. It hurts so fucking much to see you hurt” he finally says.

“Then why do you keep hurting me?”

the sound of the waves and music behind us fills the silence.

“I don’t mean to. I just keep fucking up.”

I sigh, unsure of what to say. He takes a step towards me, I flinch slightly, which he notices, and makes him sigh.

“Sometimes I cant tell” I start to say. He looks up at me and takes another step forward.

“Sometimes I cant tell if you like me or hate me” I whisper the last part.

“Neither” his voice cracks slightly, and he looks up at the moon.

“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you, y/n. And I don’t, I don’t just like you, okay? I don’t just like you I fucking-“ he stops himself, his voice getting hoarse. “I fucking love you okay? And its driving me insane.”

I furrow my eyebrows and let out an involuntary laugh.

”the fuck are you talking about Cameron?”

he looks back at me, his face hard and serious.

“I mean, im fucking obsessed with you. I can never get you up of my head, even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. You’re always just THERE. All the fucking songs you’ve showed me, all my favorite shows and movies. God even my favorite color. Its just you, and its always been you. It’s fucking terrifying, did you know that?”

”I-I-“ I stammer. He takes a step closer.

“I think about you when is wake up, when I eat breakfast, when I work out, when I do homework, when im smoking, when im drinking, when im high out of my fucking mind, when im sober, when im driving around town. All I see is you. You’re fucking everywhere and I cant get you out of my head.”

”it sounds like you don’t want me there.”

”that’s the problem is I DO. I want you there, I want you with me. And I finally fucking had you, and I just-“ his voice breaks again and he closes his eyes.

“Just don’t know how to keep you.”

”rafe” I whisper, walking towards him to close the distance. “Rafe, why didnt you tell me?”

”god y/n, you don’t even know how hard it is. Im dealing with all this shit in my head, and I wanted to save you from it but you made your way deeper into my life than ever before, and I couldn’t hide you from how fucked up I am. I tied you into this mess, and it’s not good for you.”

”why did you tell Noah that lie about me and JJ?”

”I told him because he was bragging to everyone about taking you out. I was pissed that someone else was going to take you. I was jealous. I didnt think it was going to hurt you the way it did.”

”why didnt you just tell me before he even asked me out. We were seeing each other-“ he cuts me off

”because y/n, its easier for me to do shit like that than it is to express my feelings okay? I cant do this love shit easy alright? It doesn’t come naturally like it does some people. It’s fucking terrifying”

his breathing is ragged, and he starts to clutch his chest.

“It gives me these chest pains like I cant fucking breathe.”

he huffs out, trying to catch his breath. I notice his face is flustered.

”cmon, lets sit” I grabs his hand and pull him down onto the sand,

“its okay just breathe” his pants slow down, and I wrap my arm around his shoulders.

“It’s okay” I whisper again. He leans his head on my chest, and I hear a sob escape his mouth.

“Im so fucking sorry. Im so fucking sorry” he repeats this over and over a few times before going quiet.

”I know you are.” I finally say.

We sit in silence for about 5 minutes before its interrupted.

”Y/N! There you are-“ Sabrina cuts herself off when she sees us, Topper trailing behind her.

“I knew it” I heard him whisper to her.

”well, did you guys kiss and make up” topper slurs. She shoves his chest, letting out a giggle and a hiccup.

“You guys have been boning for hours now”i shoot back at them. Topper lets out a nervous laugh and Sabrina hides her face.

“Well, are you guys going to come join us or?” She asks. Rafe sits up and looks at me

“Can we start over?”

I smile at him, stand up and reach out my hand.

“Rafe?” I whisper, he takes my hand and stands up, his figure looming over me.

“Yes, pretty girl?”

”i Love you too.”

Previous Chapter | Instagram AU

Tags: @ltristessedureratoujours @davinashifts333 @tomholland792

[transgenderer]

New study says gender-affirming surgery is associated with increased risk of mental health issues. Study of 100k+ patients found those with surgery had significantly higher rates of depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation & substance use disorder vs matched controls w/o surgery. The title of the study is “Examining gender-specific mental health risks after gender-affirming surgery: a national database study”

I’m interested in your take on this Summer, because you have posted before about how gender affirming care is the best method for dealing with dysphoria. Can you find any flaws in this study? Does it change your view? I’m not trying to trap you in some gotcha, it just seems sound to me. Sorry if this is invasive, but didn’t you get the surgery, and would you say your experience reflected this? Don’t answer if you don’t want to.

For some context on myself, I just go by male pronouns, my birth name, and wear male clothes in public, yet I have desired to be a girl since childhood (still do) and wear female clothes when in private. I don’t act on it largely do to my own (quite large) family and community, very conservative. I pretty early on decided not to get the surgery no matter what, even if I move away and/or change my lifestyle, solely due to my personal fear of surgery. Like I said, I’m not trying to trap you in any gotcha. Maybe I’m only interested in this study as confirmation bias, prove I made the right choice.

it's not on sci hub, so i cant read the full text of the study, but based on the methods section:

This retrospective study utilized the TriNetX database, analyzing U.S. patients aged ≥18 with gender dysphoria (International Classification of Diseases, Tenth Revision [ICD-10] F64) between June 2014 and June 2024. Six cohorts were created based on gender and surgery status: Cohorts A-D included patients with or without surgery, and Cohorts E-F allowed for gender comparison among those with surgery. Propensity score matching controlled for age, race, and ethnicity. Mental health outcomes included depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, substance use disorder, and body dysmorphic disorder, assessed over two years post-surgery using clinician-verified ICD-10 codes

and reuslts section

From 107 583 patients, matched cohorts demonstrated that those undergoing surgery were at significantly higher risk for depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and substance use disorders than those without surgery. Males with surgery showed a higher prevalence of depression (25.4% vs. 11.5%, RR 2.203, P���< 0.0001) and anxiety (12.8% vs. 2.6%, RR 4.882, P < 0.0001). Females exhibited similar trends, with elevated depression (22.9% vs. 14.6%, RR 1.563, P < 0.0001) and anxiety (10.5% vs. 7.1%, RR 1.478, P < 0.0001). Feminizing individuals demonstrated particularly high risk for depression (RR 1.783, P = 0.0298) and substance use disorders (RR 1.284, P < 0.0001).

it doesnt seem like its saying over a 2 year period people who underwent surgery had worse mental health outcomes before surgery than after surgery, relative to the other group? i think it's saying (maybe? wish i could read the paper) that people who underwent surgery have worse mental health *in general*. like before and after. which makes sense. youre more likely to want bottom surgery if you're really unhappy with your current situation. but also, it seems like probably bottom surgery does not generally cure depression. so. it makes sense that people after surgery would also tend to be less happy with their current situation, then people who were less unhappy in the first place. maybe they correct for that? but if you correct for that i feel like you'd mention it, i think by "matched cohorts" they just mean age race and ethnicity.

i mean, if you have a link to the full text of the study i could check it out.

anyway, i only got an orchi. i had way worse mental health afterwards cuz they didnt start me on T for a year. and so i had 0 T in my system. gender doctors are really incompetent re: hormones, my understanding is there's minimal training for it and most clinics have a limited number of endocrinologists (if any). so mostly its doctors kinda playing it by ear, based on half-assed guidelines. but apparently sometimes no T is fine? idk

im not particularly interested in a vaginoplasty but i think my relationship to transness is somewhat nonstandard. anyway i hope you figure things out for yourself. i dont know you or your life but i think getting away from your family is good for 90+% of people. moving away from your family is the best part of american atomism. even if theyre good, its just not good for your development to be in their radius, they cant help but influence you. and often theyre not good, and try to control you on purpose.

[firestorm09890]

Day 3 - favorite character

guess.

[umblrspectrum]

infinitely funnier visuals in my head, likely because they werent subject to my actual skill level in art

[ciderjacks]

despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,

theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

sorry im gonna respond again bc i finally figured out a way to refine my response

this time with more connection to the equius/eridan discussion on hand but still primarily touching upon this bit precisely "identify and understand the nature of said society"

bc that tugged at my brain - how would a kid troll, in loco parentis, identify and understand the nature of the "society" they live in*

(*except that they fully dont, specifically isolated from the broader world, which as you mentooned maps to how children are barred from the "adult world/society")

i havent read all your essays on the subject so i cant tell if this well trodden ground

but i always thought the alternia kids were a good study of "the latchkey kid with unbridled access to the internet" taken to its most logical extreme. it kinda also plays on "video game makes people more violent" campaign that was like on the news always whenever there was talks of a shooter - that was prevalent in the aughts-2010s

like back when the internet was "new" and when it wasnt being curbed into facebook, twitter, etc. wherein you could find a site that was just goatse pictures or gore galore - when there wasnt parental locks or safe searches and parents who had no frame of reference for what the internet could be like could then be unequipped to then provide safety tools for their kids

it felt like an allusion to that specific technological insecurity and skill gap between the generation that was growing up internet savvy and the generation that did not, and the end results therein (this also feels very on the nose for how vriska and her whole deal with doc scratch played out)

and ultimately, what barred from adult society but given a voyeuristic seat of it would end up like, notably in equius and eridan that they would choose to uncritically regurgitate it without actual, present, and immediate need to do so (as in no "authority" to force them - like i guess arguably they didnt "know" any better, but also arguably they simply didnt try when they have again no authority to dissuade attempts to try)

it's just like when someone's posts about the trolls always start with "omg they were 13" like at a certain point you make all of the characters 13 Year Olds so much tht they stop being Characters

[sharkylad]

Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.

Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?

Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.

The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.

Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.

It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.

I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.

He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.

[stiffyck]

I WISH ARO HEADCANONS WERE MORE POPULAR IN FANDOMS

[solariex]

silly red dancing gif i made !! :3

originally i was gonna add cat headphones, because it was based off someone sending red music recommendations on the red askblog (cough cough @kittycatred sorry self promo) but its literally 5am as im typing this so i didnt feel like adding that right now :,) also i realized after making this that it looks VERY similar to this by starrypawu and that was purely by accident oops!! i think i got unintentionally inspired though so im linking it just in case for credit !! :D also timelapse ?? speedpaint ?? (whatever its called for animation lmao) below !! !! FLASH WARNING !! THOUGH cause i flip the canvas ALOT and switch frames alot and its sped up !! (also ignore the timeeee....ignore the time....shhhh i wasnt up until 5am at all....)

its 3 minutes long but i sped it up AS MUCH AS I COULD sorry its like 5 hrs of footage originally so thats why </3

[padfootastic]

i just remembered that canonically, sirius got to godrics hollow after hagrid.

which means that after he had his godson taken away from him (bc lbr that’s exactly what hagrid and dumbledore’s orders basically did) then he went into the house and saw james and lily’s dead bodies alone. no buffer in the form of harry crying out for his parents or even the godfatherly instinct of making sure his kid is alright.

he was there, with his brother and friend’s cooking body, all alone. stewing in grief and pain and rage and guilt. ALONE.

do we even know how long he was there? for all we know, he could’ve been catatonic right there besides james all day.

[skitskatdacat63]

AAAAHH THERE'S ANOTHER VERSION OF THIS PIC

[kitsun3imp0ster]

to be completely honest, i literally didnt know lampert had a tragic backstory apparently until i read what you just sent, but i didnt know stat had a tragic backstory either until i checked the wiki. the bossfight really doesnt show off said backstory very well, it just looks like stat was maybe building something and you destroyed it? it was really confusing for me the first time due to how incomprehensible it seems and yes, i really do agree that the fandom has some misogynistic views and such, but i wanna point out one of your tags. im not saying that stat shouldnt also fill a niche already occupied, she can most definitely be an asshole character who bullies and berates people because of her past, MY issue is with how lazy the writing seems for her. and again, if she was a man, i would have the exact same issues with her, because lazy writing is lazy writing across all genders. like seriously, i would genuinely LOVE for them to actually explore her backstory and genuinely give like... actual reasons for her to be an asshole other than 'shes scared and doesnt trust people'. like, i understand that, but it also just feels like a cop-out, ESPECIALLY since thats already FOLLY'S thing, with Cleave and all.

i wish theyd played more into anime tropes with her due to her design, and i wish theyd given her a more fleshed out backstory, and i wish theyd make it easier to find out lore and info. not just for her, but for EVERY character, ya know what i mean? to be honest, there are very few characters ive genuinely latched on to in this game due to the point you stated, aka the repetitive nature of the characters. a lot of their personalities are copy and pasted versions of others, ESPECIALLY the newer characters (null is like. my least favorite character. its dialogue seems like chatgpt tried to copy folly's dialogue and failed) the fandom is in fact deeply flawed with its views, one of the main reasons ive seperated myself from said fandom, but issues like these dont come from anywhere, they come from the environment the game has built, iykwim. uhhhh in conclusion, a lot of the writing sucks, fans do in fact need to give the female characters a break, BUT the male characters are just as bad, if not worse in some cases seriously i prefer stat over null any day, i need that edgelord robot thrown against a wall lol- [and also, i do want to apologize if i came off as hostile in my first response, thats not how i wanted to come off and its obvious i failed in that aspect. you do genuinely have a right to be peeved at me lol, and thank you for like, genuinely taking the time to respond, even if we have differing views on some things /genuine]

people who like lampert when a woman is added to the elevator who acts just like him: WHAT A CRAZY BITCH LOL!!!! SHE'S SUCH A HATER AND A JERK

(dialogue comparisons included to drive my point home)

[joshuamj]

EoW Zelda and Link designs