#and i didnt even post anything like this lately
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What is ur opinion on radqueers?
I could go on forever about the insane phenomenon that are radqueers but I am not in the mood for taking this bait of an anon ask right now, believe it or not I have a life and things to do that actually matter. If you want to talk about this subject and we are mutuals just DM me I will be glad to talk
#in summary though its got to be like#one of the top 10 things im glad arent relevant in my country#blog#its been a while since i got an ask about my thoughts on internet discourse#and i didnt even post anything like this lately#ive been real quiet just posting about politics and boosting gofundmes
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hey the computer program created from my likeness saw you from across the bar and we really hate your vibe. we're gonna run an exposé on you to put an end to your unethical business practices
#the goods#max headroom#edison carter#matt frewer#20 minutes into the future#tmitf#if you saw me post and then immediately delete this no you didnt#come on maxheadroomheads if youre gonna be anywhere i know youre gonna be on here......#been feeling craaazy about this show/movie/guy lately like i submitted my last uni assignment and there was immediately a gap in my focus#that let me get obsessed with the first thing i saw. which was him apparently I GENUINELY DONT EVEN KNOW HOW I FOUND HIM he just appeared#one day. and i imprinted on him like a duckling. anyway im only halfway through season 2 please dont spoil anything smiles nicely#< 40 year old show. my own fault if i do get anything spoiled honestly. anyway. i wanna draw more stuff for itttt i wanna use more purples#its the purplest show in the world
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The original in the bottom
Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny
#thats not my neighbor#milk man#just tried to draw something in my mind to post along with saying some updates#monday the people are gonna give my grandma the keys to the house! while i have to stay at my aunts place for wifi for school#(online school)#my moms gonna be moving things out of storage into the house! AAAA I CANT WAIT#also little welcome home update#im not sure if i said here? wait nevermind i just remembered while typing (it was that i got barnaby and the pins) AAA silly me#also im making a little julie out of clay (if i wake up and their messed up i am NOT redoing that😭)#the legs are a little messed up because julie was gonna be the size of an hatsune miku figure on accident so i chose to shorten her a bit#only because im not sure if im gonna make the others too AND because theres no way hes gonna be THAT tall😭#also! im making easter art#yes its barnaby and wally again just for fun! but a few changes like keeping their regular outfits because i cant think of anything else!!!#why not the ones in the old easter drawing? welllll a follower said that wallys outfit looked a bit familiar to another not so good thing#it wasnt on purpose just an accident because i hadn't notice BUT im glad i know now so i can be more careful!#im not sureeee if im gonna finish the easter art OR the julie clay thingy but I'd love too! and honestly HOPE to#high chance i will (well maybe the easter art could be late or not)#maaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA trying to think if theres anything else but cant! ill try posting this hoping my wifi wont hate me...#also i know i said this account was for welcome home posting but i didnt have any cool welcome homey things to put here gahhhhh#ehehehhe once i get my new room and its allllll just me#imma post like crazy (wellll that IS the plan so i hope)#even if its little dumb posts#by the way this post was gonna say on top “i know i said this account is for welcome home posting but TAKE THIS FOR LITTLE UPDATES”#just removed it because i dunnooooo just didded#hehe didded
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diffy outfit?
art block really bad so im literally drawing whatever im sorry </3
#num draws#cassian posting#digital art#yandere#yandere oc#yandere male#male yandere#oc art#original character#guys i just wanted to draw cass#but i couldnt draw ANYTHING. so i went to pinterest to look for inspo. found a cute outfit n was like yeah gotta draw that#….i didnt even draw the original outfit. i just made shit up and kept replacing everything#ITS OK…. i ended up having fun#also i…. drew the big yellow cat from omori on his sweater i didnt mean to do it but it happened#also im sorry if the proportions or anything in general is wonky. having a really hard time drawing lately for some reason </3#guys idk how to draw poses or outfits pleak im sorry 😭 i TRIED#i also gave him a bun bc i thought he’d look cute. and i think he does!#i had another ver with his og hairstyle but its not coloured in lol#ANYWAY yeah have this!#why is it so blurry 💀
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i gotta admit, i do feel a little .. cheated on? i guess, or jealous perhaps, that i seem to have to work so hard just to get me to draw, not even anything of substance, or a lot, i always undersell how much time it took me to draw soemthing bc i ... am embarassed about some half assed doodle taking me 5 hours. i feel ashamed of taking so long for everything.
i am taking forever for the totk rewrite that i dont even know if its any good (im more confident about my design skills than writing..), despite constantly thinking about it i still havent properly started on the rant script (its not even art ..), and my comic that i still want to continue .. i havent updated in months? a year now? (i have NOT lost interest in it, i am daydreamign and working on it in my head still..)
maybe thats a selfish thing to admit to feeling, but man, i am so fuckign jealous, i always feel like i should be able to, i KNOW i am not shit at everything, but i cant get it OUT; like back in school when my teachers told me i am not horrible, i am actually pretty good, "i know you can do this, you have the skill." while meant to be uplifting, sicne i always think (or rather, FEEL like) i am bullshitting everything and nothing i make/write is actually any good or knows what its talkign about, it also felt like ... an accusation? like i am purposfully not doing it, i am not doing enough, i am holding back somehow, like they are asking me to stop holding back, and i just look at the ground not knowing what to do or say.
and i HATE wasting time, i cant stand looking at the clock and realizing i have been doodling back and forth on this one thing for 4 hours, and now i have to go to bed. no progress. nothing to show. nothing to feel accomplished. its not always, of course, but way WAY too many times ...
i see others churn out so much stuff, high quality stuff, and jsut think .. i should be able to do that too, i have seen myself be able to do it but its random times once or twice a year when i focus on one piece like i had gone mad- i really dont like how resentful it can make me feel towards people i dont know and dont deserve it (i do not actually hate or send hate, its just that .... shitty, shitty feeling)
hopefully this will be the last time for a longer time of me doing this type of post, but i felt it so strongly right now, it needed out
#ganondoodles talks#i know i said i didnt want to post that much personal stuff anymore#but i needed to get his out#i saw soemthign that made me feel deeply resentful and just .. like all the work i had done is wasted doubly bc others have done it better#-already#and it takes me so long to get ANYTHING done#i have wanted- DEEPLY wanted to do alot of things for the few friends i have#and yet cant get myself to do it#and i feel so shitty about everything#i dont want to leave people hanging#to promise things i cant do#to take this long for anything ........ both for others and for me#is this a ME issue or soemthign actually wrong#how do i find out what it is thats causing this block out of the many things definitely wrong with me#is it even worth it to try#or will trying to find it out only hurt more#... here i go late night emotion posting again...#if you read this long- i have considered the feedback for the ganon design#but am struggeling to finish it.#sorry
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not-yet-dead-person
silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww
(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)
i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!
the head circles are there for emotional support
very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.
(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)
usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.
according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it
the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!
Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.
background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!
for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway
that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it
#re:kinder#fanart#sayaka re:kinder#rei re:kinder#OH I ALREADY RAMBLED IN MY POST WHATEVER SHOULD I TALK ABOUT NOW IN MY TAGS UEEEEEEE😭😭😭#oh yeah do you want to know a fun fact about this drawing#i started it yesterday. i wasnt meant to I DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION...FROM MYSELF... i was meant to be on break#i self imposed a one week break from doing any rekinder related project after the transcript to avoid accidental burn out#NOT THAT I GOT TIRED OF IT AFTER THAT TRANSCRIPT NOT AT ALL#but jumping straight into more hours of creativr work after over 30 hours of it is asking for disaster. it is asking for burn out#yesterday was the last day . 12 hours were left but i was going to die if i didnt draw anything it would have been OVER#(aka my period started recently so i got very gloomy and depressed so i needed to run to my favorite stress relief...drawing rekinder☺️)#(on that note seriously what the fuck please explain the evolutionary advantage to getting horribly depressed every month)#(like hello?!?! rant real quick— i get enough flashbacks everyday i DONT need them to last longer and have me more msierable ?!?!?)#(periods are so dangerous to my mental health for no reason can i get a restriction order on them or some shit what the fuck)#(anyway thats enough of that break of character DONEEEE :3333)#SO YEAH I DIDNT EVEN LAST 7 WHOLE DAYS i even played a new game in between those 6 days youd think itd het my mind of rekinder. WRONNNNGGG#not even another devastating rpg horror gamr could divert my attention for long i hsd to draw rekinder😊#using the newfound power of mt transcript i was decided on drawing rei because i dont draw her enough for how high she is on my fvaorites#i was initially doodling random lines but then i stumbled upon this interactkon and it doesnt really fit into my usual expression sheets#so i thought hey lets do it asife#i thumbnailrd it and from there i was like hey lets do it in comic format isntead of separated messy doodles in tint canvas#and the rest is hisotry .... aka i spent the last two days doing this instead of doing MY HOMEWORK!!!!!#on my defense when i wasnt drawing i was horribly depressed i had no other choice#(seriously fuck off periods WHAT what do you mean i need to be distracted 24/7 to not be struck by crippling meltdowns LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?)#(they should be banned we as a society should find like a . cure to them it dont do me good to have a whole week where i cant function)#these tags have been more of a weird rant im sorry IVE BEEN FEELING PEEEVEDDD LATELY SO YOU GET. STRANGE DROTTER LORE ????
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might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.
any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc
#(as well as the opposite: Big Event that maybe shocks everyone around em but they genuinely werent shaken by)#though this one is more common and leads to those ''ohh i didnt know that was normal oops'' moments#talkys#inspired by recent me and friend events#and also recent events where i told sum ppl more stuff about Thing and they responded as if it wasnt a big deal. but it was to me.#and also how i thought a part of al's childhood backstory was kind of maybe dumb and not realistically as impactful as id expect#but i saw someone on reddit almost word for word write that as their experience and how its shaped em as a person#and thats it like... the small things are boring and hard to keep track of sometimes#its not like you'll include every single little event your oc was shaped by in their bio#but idk. its like Fun to piece together for fun. to mold a human being#ykwim? wld be silly to tell everyone ''oh my oc struggles with self image due to many instances like... when their sister called em ugly''#or write it anywhere but it is fun to Know and have in your head. and its real !#just like if a friend told you about something that happened to em#long post#delete later#sorry i keep saying stupid obvious shit lately ive always been bad at oc making AND socializing so im learning everything late#but anyway yes. idk even as i keep making ocs that are ''similar'' its like. every person so different#people can react to anything in any way for any reason. i love people#this is why i struggle a bit with keeping ocs to archetypes i guess bc like. what is ooc for an oc. people contain contradictions all the#time. you can change yourself at any time.#ok nobody will read this far so ill go to the real insane rambling#part of this has been a part of my chats with talon while trying to get him to share more info#like. yeah ok you're 400+ years old the things that happened to you were such a comparatively small part of your life#but humans dont live as long and think about small things until they die. i dont think time would heal all wounds actually. not all of em#some thoughts just always come to gnaw at your brain. its ok to not be over things. i feel ill never be over some things#and also complainerism can be fun but thats something else entirely wee hee ^_^
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i Hate being sick
#♡.gabi barks#hatehatehatehatehate Sickness and colds and being sick and#Eugh. i feel gross. i feel icky. i hate it.#the cocd is so bad guys. sososo bad. its awful#i just want to be normal and not sick and be on my phone#ill reply to asks soon but. i have been going through it#been deprived of my dogtime#calling it dogtime and not what I Call It bcs im possessive….#been deprived of dogtime and have had stuffy nose and been tryinf to ignore my cold by still doing my makeup wnd trying to Appear Normal#but i cant do it anymore 💔💔💔i slept So Much today#not even like. the Amount of sleep. just how many times i slept or took a nap#i think s because i Usually hibernate at the beginning of my cold so i can sleep through the fever and the worst of it#but. didnt want to bcs… dogtime..#and now its catching up to me…#literally hibernating and my sustenance is cough drops to soothe my throat#also. cant even sleep rn bcs s dark and i watched two scary movies n im a scaredy cat and i cant stop thinking of it#need my guard dog 💔💔💔 i feel ill#WHATEVER GOODNIGHT. sorry for yearning…. im sick u have to look past it…#goodnigjt i love u all#merry (late) christmas im sorry i didnt post anything butlike i said.. sick#just know i love every single one of u and i appreciate you all soso much and im happy u all enjoy my work and sometimes even enjoy#interacting with little ol me <3 love u guys im kissing you all rn
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its not really a new thing for me to say that i kinda hate the whole 'werewolf pack' kinda thing for a few reasons, but i dont like, entirely hate it yknow
like my main thing is i like characters having a sortve isolated angsty ass time(i wonder why /s), and werewolves are great for angst! so putting the two together is like. oh hell yes. but thats just a me thing
but also for some reason almost every depiction ive seen of werewolves and werewolf packs has been like... 'their nature/instincts/whatever makes this happen' like, they cant resist it because its something theyre basically forced to do by their biology. ive seen it be blood families, ive seen it be random people who just met and theyre basically bound by the universe i guess, blah blah blah
and idk, i hate that. of course, almost everyone and almost every species has it in their nature to be social and need connection, but its not portrayed like that in these cases. its portrayed more like theyll basically die if they for whatever reason reject it or something, and that their loyalty is their entire life or whatever. idk, its hard to describe.
i think its kinda obvious that im leading this up to found family. who doesnt love found family? who doesnt love when people and characters choose the people that they want to spend their lives with, whether blood is involved or not.
and theres no instinct part of it for me, its just people who want/need support from others, and they find people they love, and you could call it a pack but i just personally wouldnt. its just like any other relationship tbh, but its obv cuter as a group :p
and if it happens to be other werewolves, or other monsters, or even just humans... thats their people that they chose.
#my post#just sayin whatever lol#i just CANT take it seriously when mfs start going off about alphas or mates or what the fuck ever#i hate how forced it is. both forced upon them by the universe they live in but it also just feels forced by the narrative to me idk#funny enough im just thinking about my own werewolf takes#like. i wanted to write a werewolf shaggy fic at one point (still kinda wish i could but ive yet to settle on a premise that i like)#and like... his family is the mystery gang. not because he feels some sense of dog loyalty for them#but because he loves them and theyre his everything and theyd all do anything for eachother#or like. johnny toast and ghost and p.i.e. . like. those are his guys <3#idk if i got my point across at all lol#i mean even in a show i watched lately that had werewolves they mentioned packs and there was a werewolf pack at some point#but it didnt feel like a whole forced by nature thing. it was just all the local werewolves finding community in eachother#AS IT SHOULD BE.#i mean they were really fucked up people but that has nothing to do with the pack stuff. everyone in that show sucked a lot tbh#werewolves#tropes
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That post that's like, talking about a real phenomena in fandom spaces but then ends with a screenshot of someone saying that fandom got bad when "normies" got into fandom during COVID lockdown has been driving me nuts. Why are so many people reblogging it. Like yes there are things that used to be more common in fandom I miss but almost every post like this is just blatantly ahistorical to make fandom seem like some magical safe haven that outsiders are invading. I wish I could form more coherent thoughts on this but jfc the weird superiority some fandom folks have over non fandom folks is baffling
#as one friend put it its giving jocks vs nerds discourse#anyway no shade to my friends who reblogged it bc like the original post and reblog i was like nodding along to#even if i didnt completely agree i got the point they were making#but the screenshot add on just wpejeepeejeoekdd#fandom wank#i guess?#chatter#theres just been a lot of people being ahistoric about fandom lately in vastly annoying ways#that post that was like 'fandom has always been m/m first this is the gay sex space' or whatever it was#arguing with people wanting more gen fic and platonic relationships in fandom#like a fucking het ship isnt where we got the word shipping#i think there was someone trying to argue at one point that femslash wasnt really a thing until recently which is wowbekek#so funny considering sailor moon and xena and utena and-#anyway fandom has gotten a lot better in some ways and a lot different in other ways and i dont think 'normies' has anything to do with it#i think its just following general larger cultural trends that arent great as well as the increased comodification of everything we do
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Aint there enpugh negativity in the world? Aint yall tired? Aint yall got any human left in your soul? Aint you got any space left in your heart? Stop it. Stop being this way.
#i just cant believe it#they didnt even DO anything#im being sincere instead of light hearted and jokey like the last posts on this#u just aint got nothin left in u do yall#it aint too late#u can say sorry#admit it wasnt anywhere near real violence thats tearing the world apart#not even in the same category#admit its not like they were dming ppl hate and kys'#admit it didnt hurt anyone? admit you put emotional charge in something and miaconstrued it#admit youre just as capable as being bad as them#admit ur human#admit it was harmful to namedrop them and in doing so knowing they were going to recieve attention over it#just fucking have a heart!!!!!#what is wrong with yall!!!!!!!!!!!#🦒
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😍😍😍
#accidentally slept through my only class today#which whoops sorry. (my 9am english)#which kind of killed step 1 of a plan of mine but thats okay#anyways THEN i had to go downtown to pick up this award bc i forgot to show up to the ceremony like a dumb dumb#but the building was like a 25 minute walk and it was COLD (punishment for my dumb dumbness tbh) but anyways i got there early so i walked#around the block and then went inside and picked up my medal#and i was already far downtown so then i popped my head in a couple of stores as i slowly walked back#got a few things from target. new hair clip nail polish m&ms pens and then a mango. very excited to eat that either later today or tomorrow#then i popped in the calligraphy store and then the comic shop and looked around. saw some white ribbon in the calligraphy store which ive#been looking for but didnt get it because it was a bit wide and kind of expensive and i want a lot for my project idea#(want to write out some of my favorite poems on them in sharpie and then use it to accessorize)#and then i went to the comic shop and peeked around. saw a nubia issue and a few gl 2021s in the discount bin but i didnt get them bc#they were all middle issues and i havent read those books yet although i do want to someday bc my guys were in them. one of the gl 21s even#had simon on the cover so i was very !!!!!!!! thats my guy!!!!!#didnt buy anything there but i did ask the guy to make sure to order a copy of the spirit world tpb so ill stop by to get that in a few wks#and then i went to the bookstore cafe and got a cold brew and did a but of English there. they have tables in the stacks its nice. the one i#grabbed was just surrounded by old paperbacks of sci fi and thrillers lol. didnt see anything id read but recognized a few author names like#card (no enders game though) and the pern lady (idk her name i havent read it). anyways did half a blog post thats technically late (ill#backdate though dw) and then packed up and i grabbed a gyro from the halal cart on that block which i just finished back at my dorm <3333#anyways good times. now im gonna try and spam some work and go to freaking trivia team for the first time in a month later. oops#blah#oh and i think the halal cart guy may have given me a free soda. unsure abt that though bc its possible it came with and i was just being#silly again. so anyways i had a ginger ale too
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the ick is back
#he played a video game all day and said nothing cute to me for valentines day#and only made a post after i was like hey. u wanna make a post#i said something before i went to shower and he said like sorry for ruining ur valentines day im gonna go to sleep so i dont bother you#blah blah blah#still nothing cute#and i started to send something sweet and say like oh u didnt ruin anything blah blah but like#yeah u did! u suck!#idk i see him this weekend and i just know he'll either have gotten me nothing or he made a late night trip to walmart and picked out#something i dont even like#i dont mean to sound like greedy and materialistic but u can only get so many weird plastic puzzles and strange stuffed animals before its#like. please listen when i give little hints :(#even in the ballpark of something i like#idk im icked out mostly that i give the most effort#anyway. i didnt send anything cute and i dont even know if ill like be comforting tomorrow#rebeccaspeaks
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ANOTHER ONE
#my art#dnd oc#friend oc#kairos#getting lots of practice drawing fucked up FREAKS (affectionate) recently#also yes this lovely lady is from the same campaign as bell (zombie boy posted yesterday) and osiris lol#can you tell there's a sort of. death and undeath theme in that campaign#also i did thankfully have some feedback on this one since it's evie's character!! so hopefully somewhat more accurate lol#not entirely pleased with her face for some reason but i still like it#i am reminded of that one graph that shows talent and perception? yknow the one?#where as you grow more skilled there's a point where your perception of your art matches how good it really is#but then your skill doesn't necessarily grow with your perception of it so you start thinking your art is bad again#or that you're getting worse but it's still better than your previous art you're still getting better#idk i think that may be what's going on here lmao#i know this is decent and its much better than anything i was making even just a few months ago#but its still weird in my brain lol#or maybe im not too happy with it because i didnt spend a ton of time on it like i usually do on things like this?#this one took me like. 1 day total from sketch to finished product?#gathered reference images and started the sketch late monday night#did almost the whole thing yesterday and just added finishing touches today#so maybe i just didnt put enough effort into it idk#also also this is my 11th finished piece of the year#which is significant because in the ENTIRETY of last year i only made 11 finished digital art pieces LMAOOO#so in a month and a half i have done what i did in all of 2023 B)#a bit worried that im gonna burn out soon and not make art for a long time again but im feeling fine so far#other than the aforementioned slight displeasure with what im making now#hoping i can continue making good art all year!! or at least having fun making it even if it isn't good lmao
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Flapping G Spot Vibrator for Women:‘’Layla‘’ Adult Rabbit Sex Toys with 9 Flapping Modes 4 Tickling Modes Waterproof Clitoralis Stimulator for Clit Nipple Anal Stimulation Rechargeable Adult Sex Toys
listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.
yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?
maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".
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get a better joke
#toy txt post#god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones#let it flop..........pls#internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop#i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having#1 million bajillion disclaimers#virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word#disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word#grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used#to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023#and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like#im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild#i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you#but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay#god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil#but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful#and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like#hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine#and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr#and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like#and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay#its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat#? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right#stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny#whatever#if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll#i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2023
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I've kinda seen some pushback to the idea of representation in media and I don't necessarily think it's bad to point out actual rights are more important than Disney's thousandth first gay character that's fine, but I've had a LOT of people comment on my works about asexual characters and tell me what I wrote changed their life-and it's always that phrase- because they now have the language to describe what they feel. I've had people who ARENT ace or aro comment that what I wrote finally made a concept they didn't understand make sense, or that the way I explained things was interesting and enlightening and I'm kind of a mediocre writer who hasn't written anything in ages.
Like idk, if reading something from a writer who is fucking around and only somewhat talented can genuinely impact someone because they've not seen anything like them reflected back at them in life or media I don't think pushing for representation in media is as "needless" as some people seem to think and caring about that doesn't mean you don't care about more "important" (although if you think seeing people like you in media ISNT important it's because you already have that representation or are privileged enough to not care if you do, in which case maybe pipe down) stuff. Hell, I even got a Facebook message ages ago from someone who found a comment I left in an ace group about QPR's and what they meant to me and how I perceived them and the person no joke said what I wrote two years before they even found it changed their life forever because they finally knew what kind of relationship they actually wanted.
So like sure, of course there's always bigger fish to fry them diversity in media (you know, like diversity in real life lol) but I don't think it's as frivolous as some people are beginning to act like it is. At least not if you're an aspec person it's not, I STILL don't see ace characters almost ever and I'll bet my whole everything if I asked a writer of a show why they'd tell me that EVERYONE has to be in a sexual relationship and characters that aren't won't sell and are boring- I say this because in film school I had a teacher TELL ME every character needed to basically be sex obsessed and when I pointed out a GREAT MANY CHARACTERS are not revolved around sex (Supernatural stars two brothers, I pointed out) and when she asked if I had love interests I was like ??? That doesn't matter- using my aforementioned supernatural example almost all their love interests die or get mind wiped because at the end of the day that's not what the story was about. So actually I think writers who act like that teacher need like 50 reality checks, and representation in stories isn't unimportant and also support indie writers you'll probably find more funky shit there then Disney anyway lmao.
And also even the asexual characters I DO see in media don't remind me at all of myself even if I appreciate the effort, but they never feel real or genuine and their sexuality doesn't get a lot of exploration so 🤷🏻♀️ I actually could use more media focused on characters that I can genuinely see my sexuality reflected in in a meaningful and narratively impactful way because I've got nothing.
#winters ramblings#todd from bojack horseman im sure is SOMEONES version of asexuality but i dont see ANYTHING of myself in him#great character dont get me wrong but not relatable to me on any level including our shared sexuality#sex ed got a bit closer with their brief ace character although maybe she got more exploration in season three or four??#the latest one i havent watched lmao. but being closer and having a moment wjere shes told shes not broken#while DEEPLY vindicating isnt necessarily all im looking for either#like i wamt a REAL character thats ace or aro or both thats written by people who UNDERSTAND what theyre writting#not just well meaning people who dont know what theyre doing its kind of tiring#also idk why theres no dating shows with gay men because reality dating shows are ALL ABOUT who fucks who and who gets together#gay men would be hooking up ALL OVER THE PLACE and the DRAMA youd think reality tv freaks would be SALIVATING#but no none of that lmao. just ru pauls drag race and thats great it is like its not my bag but people love it#back on yrack though the weord blowback representation is getting is strange and its VERY clear to me#the people writing those posts havent gotten dozens on dozens of messages from people like them who found their writing#and haf their life altered forever for the better because someone who KNOWS what theyre talking about wrote a character like them#and it opened doors they never knew existed. doesnt even need to happen with fiction either i had a friend i had in toronto#tell me the info i sent to her on being aromantic changed her life- THAT'S the phrase i keep getting thats TELLING- because it describefld#described** how shes felt her whole life but didnt have words for. how frivolous IS representation if im getting these messages?#not very i dont think if some rsndom indie fic writer who hadnt written anything substantial in years can change someones life#REPEATEDLY might i add. ive been getting a LOT of messages like this lately and seeing this new bramd of discourse latetly too#like maybe YALL have enough that you dont care anymore but speak for your fucking selves
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