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#and i didn't bring any more books.
belle--ofthebrawl · 4 months
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I have a fun little dialogue idea but now I need a whole ass plot to beef it up because it deserves better than some cheeky little text post on Tumblr.
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ruuari · 4 months
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this is how older anduin looks in my head
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the-busy-ghost · 6 days
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Me normally: Let people love what they love
Me, after a Test Match Special commentator expresses their belief that the new All Creatures Great and Small is somehow "better" than the 1978 version: This is pure insanity and TMS can no longer be trusted on anything, how can they even be trusted to know about cricket, do they have no TASTE
#Look it's fine that this show exists and people will watch it and like it and that's ok maybe it's just not for me#But that was like a statement purely designed to piss me off#There were lots of issues with the 1978 adaptation! I still vastly preferred the books any day!#And I actually initially had high hopes for the new one because they at least cast a Scot (albeit a Highlander not a Clydesider) as James#And the actors at least looked a little bit younger than Christopher Timothy and Robert Hardy#And thank god Helen actually sounds like she's a farmer's daughter and doesn't speak RP!#But from the half hour I've seen of it I've had to write off this new adaptation#For two major reasons#First of all there's Siegfried#Siegfried is one of the key central aspects of the vibe of the books and therefore key to any adaptation#Robert Hardy was too short and too old for the part but he lived and breathed the character#The twinkle in the eye bouncing off the walls and in and out of rooms followed by half a dozen dogs utterly full of life even when angry#But this new Siegfried is just sort of... Eeyore-esque; he comes into a room and you can see the flowers droop and the set turn grey#Siegfried was angry Siegfried was happy and the historical character he was based on was no stranger to melancholy#Since Donald Sinclair did commit suicide or rather self-euthanasia after Alf Wight and his own wife Audrey died#But this slow grumbly figure in the new adaptation is not Siegfried Farnon- the book character didn't grumble more often he exploded#And why did the adaptation give him a dead wife that's so weird? What could that possibly add to the source material?#And this brings me onto my second problem which is to do with women and age#Firstly I have no idea why they aged down Mrs Hall or at least made her look younger than a woman her age would have back then#But what really drove me mad was when Heriot goes out to see some old woman hill farmer in the episode I saw#And this woman is far too clean and young-looking and you can see that she's wearing 'natural' look make-up#And a perfect set of clothes that looked like they were straight out of the House of Bruar autumn collection catalogue#Say what you like about the 1978 adaptation but old women looked like old women regardless of whether or not they wore make-up#It may be that the better quality of television screens means that the 'natural look' shows up on screen more clearly than it would have#But natural look make-up was not really a thing in the 1930s and for old women Yorkshire hill farmers I doubt they'd have much on at all#They just don't seem to be capable of allowing people to look old and wrinkled and real or have bad teeth or unattractive clothes#And everything is far too tidy- everybody looks far too perfectly country and quaint#Anyway the moral of this story is of course that I always recommend reading the books because they're much better#than any tv adaptation; but if forced to choose at least the 1970s one felt real and yet didn't have to be grim either#Ok that's my rant over please do feel free to enjoy the show I just got annoyed because the opinion was expressed on TMS
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discjude · 4 months
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Yeah this is about right (as always my thoughts are in the tags so there's actually kei content there lmao)
#Hester I adore you they could never make me hate you. Seriously the first chapter in 6 (bad candy) is like my favourite opener#Kei they could NEVER EVER make me hate you. did nothing wrong ever. rhian when I CATCH you#its so funny how my two favourite characters just like. hate each other. like japeth literally kills him#sad cause they're so SIMILAR. theyre both victims of Dog Metaphor its so sad that kei does Not like japeth in the slightest#personally if they had a good long discussion about their emotions at like 3am they could've probably stopped TCY from happening#but alas. Aric. somehow its all his fault again. why do I have an aricposting tag but not a keiposting one.#Hester easily has the best overall characterisation arc I love love love the way soman writes her#I remember when I read 6 for the first time#before japeth insanity happened#I used to anticipate her chapters over like everyone else's. Hester the 1 lesbian in the series you are deeply loved#I could write whole essays about japeth and kei's characterisation it is so sad that soman forgets kei exists#like he's meant to be rhian's eagle. that's his job. that's what he's spent a Long Time anticipating becoming#but rhian refuses to acknowledge it. instead he calls Japeth his eagle in book 4's ending#He eventually falls in love with Sophie#he only ever cares about the crown#how he GETS to the crown#and bringing his mother back. he lies more than japeth#and never once does he get to be the eagle. There's only three spaces - lion/eagle/snake - and he doesn't get to be any of them#dont even get me started on how he dies. surrounded by white swans. being purely good#god rhian II try not to fuck EVERYTHING over challenge. and also Aric. its all arics fault as well#keiposting#japethposting#actually not really jposting. didn't do it that much#sge#tsfgae#school for good and evil#the school for good and evil#sfgae#the school of good and evil#as much as I adore Hester I dont think I will talk about her much in detail ever so no hesterposting yet
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witchzvamp · 1 month
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the trainee reminds me of a boss and a babe and yes it's because every ep has me thinking where the fuck is the hr department in this fucking company?
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bloomingsalma · 4 months
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if a character in a fictional romance is/was a fuckboy, i need them to be falling to their knees and becoming a complete simp over their love interest. i need to see you become a lovesick idiot who suddenly has no idea how to act around the person you like and who is a complete embarrassment to watch. these are non-negotiable rules
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hydrachea · 3 months
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I have! The writer (not the artist) of the comic also has a fanfic series on AO3 and it's so good 👀 also you are so right with the wriosige comparison LOL. I'm also reminded of people’s behaviour re: furina, esp wrt her relationship with neuvillette. Good god 💀
OH SHIT REAL? AND CHRISTMAS IS STILL IN SIX MONTHS?
It's bladefly but I'll check it out if I can for sure, the writing in the comic was great even if it's not ot4. Really I've read a bunch of bladewolf too. And kafblade. I like Blade. Was that obvious? Surely not.
Oh boy, Furina... Both her and Hu Tao suffer from an unfortunate case of being the literal boss of their respective guys, but because they're short women (bonus for having a flat chest as well), boom - the daughter beam hits without fail. As a short flat adult woman myself, it irks me a lot. The day fandom stops making assumptions about characters based on their appearance and then treating them as canon... It's still far off, isn't it?
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Thinking about Brooke again
#HMMMMMM SO MANY SO MANY THOUGHTS#Cartoon Brooke was WASTED#she was a GLORIOUS MCGUFFIN#she did the sAME THING IN BOTH SPECIALS SHE WAS A MAJOR PART OF AND SHE DID NOT HAVE ANY CHARACTER GROWTH OR ANYTHING AT ALL#BUT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE SHE DID#SHE COULD HAVE HAD A MUCH MORE INTERESTING CHARACTER ARC IN WAY TOO WONDERLAND#HAVE HER FACE REPRICUSSIONS!!!! HAVE HER BE AFRAID TO HELP AGAIN BUT HAVE HER BE UNABLE TO DENY HELPING BECAUSE SHE LOVES THESE PEOPLE!!!#THEY TRIED. THEY TRIED SO HARD WHEN BROOKE DENIED HELPING THEM FOR .5 SECONDS#''NaRrAtOr'S hAvE rUlEs ToO'' YEA RULES YOU DIDN'T CARE ABOUT BREAKING IN THE LAST SPECIAL AND LIKE TWO EPISODES AGO IN THE SAME SPECIAL#AND YOU CLEARLY HAVE NO PROBLEM BREAKING THEM FIVE SECONDS LATER#GIVE BROOKE THE ARC SHE DESERVES YOU COWARDS#THE WAY I SEE IT YOU COULD GO TWO ROUTES WITH BROOKE AFTER SPRING UNSPRUNG#ONE IS BASICALLY JUST THE BROOKE REFUSES TO GET PUNISHED ROUTE WHERE SHE RUNS AWAY AND FUCKS SHIT UP#AND IN THE OTHER BROOKE IS WAY TOO AFRAID TO GET PUNISHED AGAIN AND WITH THE COMBO OF HER PARENTS BEING UNABLE TO HELP HER NARRATE SHE JUST#FEELS LOST AND AFRAID BECAUSE SHE NEVER HAD A SOLO NARRATION AND SHE GAINS MORE CONFIDENCE IN HER ABILITIES THE MORE SHE GOES ON#SHE WAS SCARED OF HER FIRST SOLO NARRATION IN THE BOOK#SHE WAS EXCITED AND AFRAID#SHOW HER BEING AFRAID!!!!#SHE WAS SOOO PUMPED AND EXCITED AND ANTSY AND QUICK TO JUMP THE GUN IN THE LAST SPECIAL LET WHATEVER PUNISHMENT SHE FACED BRING HER DOWN#TO A POINT WHERE SHE'S TOO AFRAID TO EVEN OPEN HER MOUTH TO SAY THAT THERE'S A COUP#TO EVEN MENTION IT#LET HER PARENTS BE THERE TO KEEP HER IN CHECK AT FIRST TO MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T BREAK THE RULES AGAIN#LET HER BE UNDER JUST SOOO MUCH PRESSURE#AND ONCE THEY'RE GONE SHE CAN SHED HERSELF OF HER FEARS AND INSECURITIES THE LONGER SHE GOES ON NARRATING ALONE#AAAA#ever after high#eah#brooke page#i am off the deep end
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notjanine · 1 year
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spent the summer prepping for and taking the worst exam of my life, riding out the lease at the worst place i've ever lived,* then being temporarily kinda homeless,** and getting dozens and dozens of job applications rejected. i had some fun in there, but my anxiety has been through the fucking roof on top of my regular summer depression.
then the last two weeks of august happened 😳
everything happens so much. somehow, i managed to find the perfect apartment for a reasonable rent, and now me and Books are living (together!) in a fantastic and charming new home- lots of space, big kitchen table, a balcony facing undeveloped woods, just off one of the major roads in the city that has my favorite grocery store and our favorite sandwich shop (where we were already regulars). plus, i've gotten not one, not two, but three (three!) job offers- and i can take them all!!! one is with a hospital where i did my favorite internship rotation, and i'm so excited that i get to go back there and get paid to do that job, it was a blast. another is right by my new place and it's similar to the other hospital, but it's slightly bigger and sees more complex cases, so i'll be comfortable and confident, but i'll still get some new, specific clinical experience in areas that i'm interested in.
and the third position is... literally my dream job. it's the job that's been the end goal since the moment i chose my field of study. grad school and the internship made me rethink all of my professional goals and push them back, thinking i wouldn't be able to get to them for so long because i'd need ~more experience~. but now i'm. uh. i did it. i did it??!
the two hospital jobs are just part time, but they both pay well. the other won't start for a few months bc my boss*** has to get insurance approval to add me to her private practice,**** but that's okay, because i have a lot of reading and learning i want to do in the meantime to prepare! and then it will start as part time working up to full time as i build up my case load, but i'll also get to decide my own hours and do some work from home. i'll get to work with my favorite kinds of patients! and i'll get fantastic professional development opportunities for specialization, if i want to. the other dietitians in the practice seem lovely, so i'm excited to work with them. and the pay is realllly good, gosh, for being fresh out of the internship, it's nuts.
so things will pick up as i go through orientation and onboarding for the two hospital jobs next month. but it'll get calmer again after that, so i'll have the time and energy to prepare for the more challenging work that starts later, which is really nice.
and in the meantime, i'll be tending the wee garden on my balcony and playing board games with the love of my life 💗
#* all of my windows faced a wall. the walls were so thin i heard a neighbor yawn once#my air conditioner literally broke ten (10) times in three months. they just stopped fixing it. i just didn't have ac. in june. in texas.#** like i was fine i stayed in an airbnb for a week and then with Books which was not ideal bc they were in a 200 sq ft studio but hey#*** this woman is... something else. she was also one of my preceptors during my internship#on my first day with her we went over the assignments i had the option to do and one of them was about my main terrible chronic illness#and i mentioned oh yeah i am very familiar with that bc i have it. and this woman. was EXCITED#like she was interested in and valued my perspective as a sick person. which is wild#also that was my last rotation and i got really sick during that time. i had a flare up and didn't finish any of my assignments on time!!#bc of that illness! which she is now familiar w bc i did an assignment about it! and yet. and yet#SHE reached out to ME months later to be like. hey i have this position open if you want to apply here's the link :)#and then i had to interview with her and she did not pull any punches it was the longest interview i've had and she asked killer questions#and at one point she asked the question. what do YOU bring to this profession w YOUR perspective. and i just...#i said fuck it i went for it i answered honestly and said i'm autistic and autistic ppl understand each other in ways nts don't#(but like. framed intelligently w references to published research and good resources)#and you have autistic clients already and you will have more in the future bc all of us are weird about food!#and. she hired me. this woman knows i am 1. physically disabled and 2. autistic#and she hired me anyway. scream. remarkable woman. i want to know more about her.#and i don't want her to regret her decision so i gotta be on the ball!#**** it's private practice but the boss the one whose practice it is she's on a soft maternity leave so she's not seeing clients rn#so she's managing the practice. and on top of that there's also one woman who's job is just admin and insurance and billing etc#so after i finish the onboarding paperwork (almost done already) i won't have like... any more boring paperwork#it's a private practice job and i don't have to worry about billing which is the nightmare everyone dreads. incredible INCREDIBLE#ANYWAY gosh. it's all a lot! but good!#oh AND it's Books' birthday next week!!!!! we're gonna go out with their family one night then with their friends then just us#and i know exactly what i'm gonna wear (a tiny slutty dress) and i just got their gift (which i know they'll like) so everything is so !!!
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heatwa-ves · 1 year
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thought this book would take me longer to read but I'm already nearly halfway through and I only started to read it this morning
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mrfoox · 2 years
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God im... Probably too nice but it's fine
#miranda talking shit#I wanted to talk about a thing but...noticed quickly that they were not in a good mood/mindset so ofc i didnt even bring it up#I mean the talk was good anyway. I think he... Needed that. We talked about feelings and how to handle them#And at one point he stopped and turned to me and went 'that thing you said about getting another perspective on it... Thats smart. Thats#A very good idea. Im going to try that' not like im good at dealing with emotions. But i try to and that's a thing i know have helped me at#Times. Discussed our goals/dreams and well... I cant agree with his or understand it at all but as long as he thinks thats what he wants#Then im not going to argue. Love how he always drone on about he doesn't care about anyone or what anyone thinks but still wants to hear#What i think. I told him that was funny to me. Bc imo one doesnt ask about something one doesn't care about or have any interest in...#He's been a lot more... Curious about what i think about things and its fun. Personally im just fairly weak in my opinions. Not many things#I think are worth fighting over or arguing over tbh. So im used to just listening and nodding. But that may annoy the shit out of him lmao#That might be why he asks me about my opinion bc im so quiet and passive . But yeah very interesting to discuss#Mainly bc i havent heard anyone have that kind of opinion and goal of their own so it was fun?#But yeah ngl i love hearing people say im wise or smart. Bc i obviously dont hear that often. So when i do im like ah ... Thank you 😭#Its bc im not book smart but i guess im emotionally smarter or whatever. In general i just enjoy making people think about other perspectiv#Bc i always do that and enjoy it. Think many are unintentionally stuck in their own way of seeing things and everything become so black and#White. To me the world isnt . I wish it was but no everything is gray with many shades lol#Also me doing and example: 'i dont think everything is your fault oliver. I think its my own'#Oliver serious: yeah well i dont think its your fault either Miranda.' i almost cried like... He didn't have to say that i was obviously#Doing an example and joking ? But he still ... Said that and im like...thabk you for reassuring me...#And he really went 'i fought hard to be the one that came by here today. It was going to be another guy which me and magnus hate. So i#Fought hard to be able to come here instead' and im like 🥺... Thank you... I wasnt there to fight but thank you for doing that...#I mean im guessing he also enjoys our conversations so i dont think it was a selfless thing but it made me happy :')#If i could have any say I'd basically only have magnus and oliver come by me but i know thats not how it works but it made me happy that he#Went out of his way to get it changed. I need to thank him again next time... At least he seemed to be a little lighter leaving than when#He came. So i hope our discussion was a bit helpful at least. Something had happened and i asked him if he wanted to talk about it#And he said no first and then 'maybe. We'll see' which to me is major bc uh.... He usually dont ever talk about anything happening actively#To me. Usually he comes and shares it 6 month later or something. So... Trust increase? I hope im rubbing off on him in healthier mental#Ways. Considering he's gone from saying nothing about himself to trauma dumping ... I guess something has changed. God i just#Want to pick his brain about everything for real. He has such diffrent values and priorities than im used to and anyone i know have. I love#Hearing all about it. Ive told him before but if we didn't meet through this... Unusual way. We'd never would have naturally. And if we did
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4ngelofmydreams · 2 years
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thinking abt how i had booked flights to see my ex and stay w them for 12 days and how the night before i left i met up w a friend i hadn't seen in a while and told her "i'm visiting my gf in [several countries over] tmrw but i have this feeling that they want to break up w me" and my friend was like "its gonna be fine bc there's NO way anyone would do that to themselves or u to have u visit for so long even tho they want to break up" and i was like yeah i'm sure ur right i shouldn't worry abt it *proceeded to go through the worst two weeks of her entire life*
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smile-files · 19 days
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got my groceries, and brr was it cold out! it was nice coming back to the dorm and heating up some nice warm pasta and cheese -- having some breakfast really made me feel better, though of course i'm still tired! i'm gonna wash my dishes and maybe rest for a little while
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hedgehog-moss · 2 months
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Last spring my neighbour asked if I could let Pirlouit mow the grass around his barn from time to time, which Pirou was happy to do at first but if I left him there several days in a row he got pretty sad about being alone (lots of wistful, melancholy braying). So this year when my donkey was hired for this job again, I went for a different formula: for the past few weeks I've been bringing all the animals to the neighbour's barn for an hour of landscaping services now and then at apéritif time.
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The fence is extremely not Pampe-proof so I have to have my apéritif while sitting on the road in a strategic position from which I can toss a stick in her direction if she tries to escape, but other than that I've been really enjoying this peaceful evening ritual, just sitting there reading and watching the animals while feeling like I'm doing my neighbour a favour. Pirlouit doesn't get all the grass to himself anymore but I've learnt that he prefers to be rich in friends than in food.
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You'll notice that Merricat is present in every photo, looking alert. She too has been hired, but for the thankless job of Thought Police. She may look like she's just napping on the warm asphalt with not a care in the world...
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... but she is working! Keeping an eye on the llamas, always.
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I've discovered that in a specific context my three cats can act as precogs and warn me of Pampe's future crimes. My theory is that they developed this skill because of Poldine, who loves cats. Any cat who enters the pasture will soon be noticed and (lovingly) chased by Poldine, who wants kisses. Cats not only do not want llama kisses, they don't differentiate between individual llamas. They are all potential kissers. So even if it looks like she's all relaxed, Merricat is constantly monitoring where the llamas are and what they seem to be planning. If we are on the other side of a fence and Pampe approaches it a bit too slyly, Merricat will jump to her feet, ready to flee (and I will toss one of my anti-Pampe sticks, and say NON.)
Merricat and I are a very good team! We've foiled several of Pampe's plots, but we need to be on the road for Merricat to remain wary (if we were in the pen Pampe's escape attempts would involve getting away from us and the cat wouldn't care.) Cars are rare so it's okay (plus it's so quiet you can always hear them coming), and on the few occasions when someone showed up and asked why I was having apéritif on the road, I pointed at Pampe and they were like, "Ah! Didn't see her here. Good luck!"
"Hedgehog-moss, you're exaggerating. Pampe can't be that—"
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She is! She is. And she always seems to notice when Merricat is on a bathroom break and I'm absorbed in a book.
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There was one evening though, when she got distracted by a fascinating new idea. I don't claim to know what's going on in this llama's head (except when she's looking at a fence, then it's easy) but as you can see, once I brought the animals to the barn Poldine started eating flowers, Pirlouit started eating grass, and Pampe started eating the wall.
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After a moment she slowly circled the barn, then stopped and lay down right next to it, settling down in a comfortable position but with focused ears and her head still turned towards the wall. It was suspicious behaviour, but on the other hand she now looked so uninterested in the road that I decided to take a risk and run home to bring back some dinner—and she didn't move while I was away! I even brought Pandolf, who is usually banned from these soirées because he would disturb my Merricat alarm system. He was happy to be finally included.
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It's unclear if Pampe was eating the wall, talking to the wall, or carefully examining various parts of the wall as Step 1 of 27 of a complex plan only she understands, but she stuck close to the barn all evening instead of lying in wait by the fence so I was able to have a picnic in the grass rather than on the road, which felt more bucolic. I know that "Pampérigouste has a new, mysterious project" is a worrying sentence but at this early stage (feasibility study) it felt to me and Merricat like a little holiday!
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a-b-riddle · 5 months
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Part Five
Can't stop thinking about the attempt of reconciliation and reader ain't having it. Our girl is going to be wilddddd y'all. Also goodnight. See y'all tomorrow (maybe)
You call Meredith when you get home.
You. Are. Fuming. She's not sure she can ever remember a time you using so many swear words at one time.
How fucking dare them? Immature? You're the immature one? You were the one trying your best to salvage four failing relationship meanwhile none of those assholes could be bothered to try and keep one. They had one person to manage: you.
"I wanna go out this weekend." "Wear something tight and borderline risk indecent exposure."
"You know what I always say," Meredith begins. "The best way to get over someone-"
"is to get under someone else." You finish. You weren't exactly keen on the idea of bringing someone to your bed just yet, but a little attention would do you some good. "I don't want to fuck someone just yet." You admitted. "I'm more on the getting drunk and making out."
"I didn't know we resorted back secondary school heavy petting?" She teased.
"University, Dear." You corrected. "I didn't peak until after I graduated."
"No." She argued. "You didn't put your books down long enough to realize that boys actually wanted to fuck you." You were glad she couldn't see you roll your eyes. "Saturday work for you? I have a late night Friday and won't be up for it."
"That works."
"Sorry." She apologized. "I plan on getting you absolutely smashed so I need to be ready to play the nanny. I know how you love to get drunk and run off."
It was true. You had always found it hilarious when you were drunk to just run. Quite literally run away. It got to a point during university where Meredith would handcuff you to her so you didn't stray.
"I won't run." Your sober mind promised.
"Uh huh." Meredith's tone told you that she knew that was a load of shit. "I'll text Tabs. Let her know the plan."
The next day at the shop was pretty uneventful. No more unexpected visitors. You still had them all blocked. Not caring if now they decided to offer up some bullshit apology.
Months. This had been a steady decline for six months. A text or a simply sorry won't fix this. You weren't sure anything could.
But it didn't matter. You were done and they obviously were too.
You had picked up enough take out to feed a family, but you didn't plan on making your lunch before work or cooking when you got home. The rest of the week you planned on just going through the motions until you could go out Saturday and hopefully get everything out.
You weren't paying attention as you walked down the hallway to your flat. Fishing in your purse for keys. You were at almost at your door when you saw him.
Sitting next to your door was a familiar face. A face you felt you haven't seen in forever.
“What are you doing here, Kyle?" Your voice was flat as you continued to blindly try and find your keys with one hand. Fuck. You really need to clean out your purse...
“My key wouldn’t work.” He explained. "So I’m out here.”
"I'm aware why you're not in my apartment since I changed the locks," you said, trying to keep your irritation at bay. "What I am asking is why did you come here?"
"You won't return any of our messages."
"You're all blocked, so technically I didn't really get any messages." "Besides, you don't get to complain to me about not responding to texts, Kyle Garrick." Your fingers finally wraps around them. God bless. "If you're here for your things, it'll have to wait. I have to sort through everyone's shit and I don't know whose is whose."
"We need to talk." He explains as you put the key into the lock, opening the door.
"Nah," you say scrunching your nose in that way he used to adore. "I'm good. But you can swing by tomorrow and pick up your things if you'd like." You say before trying to shut the door on him. You were stupid in thinking you could be faster than him.
Dammit.
"I know things haven't been good and I've definitely could have been better,'' he admits. "But can you at least try and let us apologize? Let us try and work it out."
"No." You answered, trying to close the door. Not caring if you had to resort to kicking his shins to get him out.
"Why not?" He countered.
“Maybe because I've already tried, Kyle?” You gave up on trying to shut him out. You were strong, but he didn't have any issues in besting you. “Because I actually tried with you. With all of you. You didn’t need to come here giving me excuses about your life being hectic because I’ve made the excuses for you.” You didn't miss how he practically flinched. He had always blamed his busy life. Family. Work. You stopped caring about whatever excuse he gave you and realized it was just that. An excuse. “I’ve been telling myself for months that everything you guys didn’t do for me wasn’t because you didn’t care about me. It was because of the stress of your deployments is the reason none of you tell me when you get back from until it’s time to fuck. I tell myself it’s because of the fucked up situation of me being with all of you that makes it awkward to meet your families. Families you all have that I now know I’m not worthy of meeting.” He wanted to correct you. You were. You were worthy. He was an idiot. “It’s not that I need your excuses to make me feel like what you did was justified. No matter what it was, it was apparently to you because you did it.”
He took a step back, processing everything you had said. He had been selfish. You were the reliable constant in his life. Someone he believed he never disappointed. Someone he couldn't disappoint no matter how many times he fucked up.
You took the opportunity to slam the door. Quickly turning the lock before he had a chance to open it back up.
God...
That felt good.
You had spent that evening collecting their thing in case Kyle did show back up tomorrow. You wouldn't make their lives easier by sorting all their shit and organizing it. Everything. One box. Let them figure it out. You almost had a mind to add a shirt that you knew didn't belong to any of them just to have them argue over it. Or least make them think there was someone else...
You were almost tempted if not for the premise that you wanted them to realize this was their fault. Their fuck up. But now that you were officially all broken up, you were free game.
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rockingbytheseaside · 5 months
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✦ How you have contrasting personalities but they drop everything for you anyway
Pierro, Capitano, Dottore, Scaramouche (separate) 
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They say love can change anyone, but you have yet to agree with this statement. You never wanted anyone to alter themselves for you, especially if that someone is your beloved. Instead, you always believed that people should stay true to themselves while maintaining mutual love and adoration for each other. And that's how you and your beloved were - contrasting in looks, attitudes, and habits. Yet it made your beloved cherish you all the more, even if it caused unsuspecting passers to raise eyebrows in shock… Maybe it's because your beloved is actually a dreaded Fatui Harbinger, and people didn't expect him to be head over heels whenever you’re in the same room. But what can you say? He always was a softie for you. 
✧ Pierro doesn’t attend public gatherings. Period. Ask any of the high-rank Harbingers and they would tell you how lucky it would be if he were even present for a Harbinger’s inauguration, like when Arlecchino was declared 4th or when Tartaglia received his Delusion. Nevertheless, it is clear that The Jester does not squander his time with social events or benign pleasantries; he’s present only on important occasions.
If you can define what’s important in his book, that is.
An example being was a certain Fatui party. It is not uncommon for the Regrator to organize lavish evenings, especially in recognition if a Harbinger obtained a gnosis, or if another significant mission was masterfully accomplished. The grander was the task, the bigger the event would be. Of course, Pierro never attends those either. 
During one of those organized events - you, of all people, decided to come. Dressed in your finest, glittering lotus flower silk and white silver adorned your figure while you timidly stood amongst the high nobles of Snezhnaya. Your presence was not an unwelcome sight, but you did not strive to bring attention to you either. Expensive parties with Fatui diplomats and Snezhnayan aristocrats were not your usual cup of tea.
Your presence did not bring awning gasps, but Pierro’s did. 
Unannounced, the Director arrived at this sudden party, bringing hushed murmurs amongst the crowds of subordinates and colleagues. Likewise, he wore his most exquisite suit, a mantle-like cape flowing elegantly over his broad shoulders. Before guests and attendees could greet his arrival, The Jester marched straight ahead, not bothering to gaze at whoever tried to initiate conversation. 
No, the man’s attention was focused straight at you, as he passed through everyone and swiftly approached you. With an outstretched hand, a knowing gaze was cast upon you, as he spoke:
“If I may,” - he brought the back of your hand closer to his lips “Would you honor me with a dance?” 
You obliged. Now everyone in the gala was gaping at you two with grandiloquent murmurs. 
“My most cherished, why did you not warn me you’d attend the ball?” - The Jester whispered to your ear, his gloved hand intertwined with yours as the two of you waltzed elegantly. 
“Well, I just thought it would be futile to bother you. You usually hate such occasions.” - you muttered back, overwhelmed at the prospect of meeting his icy gaze; a gaze that only looked at you in tender love and yearning.   
“Then may I inquire on why you decided to attend this one? You avoid them as well.” 
“Okay, just please don’t laugh,” - you whispered. As Pierro kept a hand on your waist, he danced with you across the ballroom, using his broad form to shield you from the unwelcoming gazes of the guests. “You gifted me this fancy attire that I kept hiding in my closet for many months… I simply didn’t have a reason to wear it. So I forced myself to go out just so I could have the excuse of wearing something nice. U-um, that’s it.”  
“And that’s it, love?” 
“...Yeah,” - you nodded defeatedly “Also because I didn’t want to busy you from work.” 
“Oh, my most beloved.” - The Director emitted a hushed chuckle as you two conversed and danced, making sure his words were heard only by you. “I can make all your attires gala-worthy if you so desire. You do not need to be coy, ask and I shall accompany you on any grand occasion." 
Thus, the jester may not attend social events, as he only frequents important ones - the ones you're in, that is. As he whisked you away with a dance and a dip, he kept his hand delicate around you to escape the company of noisy guests who wished to bother you two. But what would be a ball with his lips gently grazing your cheeks at the end of each dance, telling you: 
“Besides, I cannot allow other attendees to assume you are available, now can I? Not while you look so stunning tonight.” 
✧ When Il Capitano was first spotted with you during workout practice, people didn’t even fathom you were his beloved, the only person equal to the Captain. The two of you were simply so…  opposite. The Harbinger was big and imposing, while you were smaller and approachable; which isn’t even a fair comparison, because Capitano just towers over anyone. Everyone looks small next to him! 
Nevertheless, when Capitano had his usual daily practicum along with his rumored significant other, some Fatui soldiers tried to sneak glimpses. Yet what a jarring spectacle it was to see the immovable, assertive Harbinger dismiss his commanding tone in favor of being patient and attentive. 
“My dear, you’ve already run a set of laps and tried to outbeat me during pushup exercises. You are putting too much strain on your ankles after your previous training. We should-” 
“No, we can still go for another round! Fight me!” 
“But, my love-” 
“Fight me!!!”    
Anyway, the fight abruptly subsided. Not because you lost, but because Capitano swiftly lifted you into his arms the instant you launched yourself onto him, consequently refusing to put you down. Therefore, you find yourself being carried by your partner's muscled arms while your feet dangle.
“Aw man, not fair…” - you mumbled, settling to rest on Capitano's forearms. “It's not even a duel if you're just lifting me like a toddler. Set me down, Cappy!” 
“It’s an effective tactic, one that easily neutralizes a hotheaded opponent like yourself.” - Capitano explained calmly. In reality, his body moved with pride as he held onto you securely, as if you were his prized reward for today's training. 
The captain set you down, his armored hands trailing down to your leg, sending a tingling graze onto your skin. And indeed, his punctilious gaze spotted how you tried to hide a limp when exercising. 
“You sprained your ankle,” - Capitano stated.
“Listen, it's not a big deal. Just a strain, I had worse happen.” 
You tried to defend yourself, but The Harbinger already expected your excuses. The man knew better than to argue with you, and instead settled on removing your footwear and gently checking on your injury.
“This is no condition to continue training, my dear. If I let you continue, you'd stubbornly reach Celestia with bloodied knuckles and broken limbs.”
“Yeah! And you bet I'd win!’” - you retorted brightly. At the sight of your confident smile, Capitano chuckled deeply, his pitch-black helmet pressing into your forehead with tender motion.
“I am certain you will, my love. You'll drag The Heavenly Principles by the ear, and have them weeping by your gaze alone. But now, we should get you to rest and apply some ice to your ankle. Shall I carry you?”
You sighed deeply, having no option but to let your beloved's experienced hands help you with your soreness. “Oh well… fine.”
Capitano's training could wait. There was a more crucial matter at hand, literally. With his massive yet calm form carrying you away, your gaze remained fierce but forbearing. 
If some Fatui soldiers witnessed today's event, they'd have to conceal their inconspicuous glances and smiles. After all, the sight of Il Capitano being the big, loving teddy-bear, while you being a menacing gremlin was undoubtedly shock-inducing.  
Nonetheless, who else is worthy of being carried by the 1st Fatui Harbinger and pampered by him? Only you, of course.
✧ Il Dottore is a destructive, stern man. Hunched over the examination table, his gloved hands were tainted in blood while his jaw clenched in aggravation. His hours of working in the lab easily make him irritated, and this irritation further increases whenever certain scientific experiments do not bear fruit. A tense air of suspension was now lingering in his lab; a sign of an upcoming violent outburst.
“Lord Harbinger…” - one of Dottore's lab assistants began, trying to muster the courage to speak without shaking. “This experiment requires another round of testing, w-we might need to start over,”
The Doctor remained still, but the dangerous clutch of the scalpel in his hand didn't go unnoticed. “Perhaps I did not make myself clear?” 
He straightened his shoulders, his masked expression gleaming with malice and murderous intent with each syllable hissed.
“I have given you one simple task. Bring me the results. If this experiment is not completed by tomorrow at the earliest, I will have to remind you how brittle, and puny your useless bones can be-”
Suddenly, the lab door slams open. From the heavy metal doorway, a hasty but familiar person quietly saunters in, unknowingly saving the poor soul that was about to be Dottore's next target. Of course, the person in question is - you. 
“Dottore?” A small murmur escaped you. You stepped closer to Dottore and tugged at his sleeve. “I’m sorry, I can't sleep…” 
An abrupt silence settled in the lab. 
The unnerving tension of the lab was diverted as if a switch was flipped in Dottore's brain. The man swiftly set his scalpel aside, discarded his bloody gloves, and turned into a softer tone when talking to you. 
“Hm, is it so late already? I apologize dear, time must've slipped past me. Do you want me to brew us some tea and join you in bed?”
“Yes, please… Chamomile. if you're not busy, of course.” - you nodded, a tender smile settling on your face.
The sight was fascinating. The eccentric, mad scientist was instantly replaced by a doting partner, who would lower himself to kneel before you and put his hands on your shoulders as if all his lab work and blood-stained messes were already forgotten. Dottore's assistants were indeed quite baffled when you entered the lab. But what was more confusing is that the sudden change of attitude was so drastic, that they all froze in silence and subordination. The poor, unfortunate underlings; one minute dealing with their Lord Harbinger's harsh demeanor, and the other witnessing him hugging you and gazing at you like a lovesick puppy. 
“Perhaps it’s time to wind down for today. I was about to finish for today, anyway. I'll make your tea as you like it and accompany you in bed, dearest.” - Dottore's hand gently rested on your back, as he leisurely ushered you to leave with him. 
“And as for the experiments,” - just before the Harbinger could leave with you in his arms, he sent an ominous glance towards his assistants, one that even through a mask portrayed lethal resolve - “deal with it.”  
Oh well. Someone is staying overtime in the lab. That's how The Doctor was with his work - cruel and unattached. However, unbeknownst to people, when he's back with you in bed, that man is clinging to you throughout the night, groaning about his research while burying his head against your chest. His face takes refuge against the warmth of your body, arms encircling you in a needy embrace around your torso. 
Sometimes, he just needs a good squeeze from you when you cuddle him, that's all.  
✧ A day cannot be concluded if there wasn’t a single instance where Scaramouche’s grumbles weren’t accompanied by your bright grins. Scaramouche has a reputation for his sour disposition whenever he is discontented, that much is known. What isn't known is that the only person who tolerates his cynicism is someone as bright and cheerful as you. Like two sides of the same coin.  
“Hmph, Pathetic. Just because some flowers are blooming doesn’t mean it requires a whole festival to be commemorated for.”  
“Oh, come on, Scara. You accompany me to every Hanami event.” - you smiled back in response to the Harbinger’s scoffs, but the 6th crossed his arms. 
“They are no different each year. Same cherry blossoms, same food stalls you drool over.” 
“But Scara…! The Dango!” 
That’s how the two of you wind up in a narrow cobble street, protected under the soft shadows of cherry blossom, while cascading pink petals gently fall around you. Well, that is how you wind up here, while Scaramouche was naturally dragged by you. Arms linked with one another, the Puppeteer kept his iconic look of displeasure, a huge contrast to your joyous one. One would assume The Harbinger could easily flee your torment and make you scram, but on the contrary: 
He is the one who makes sure your hand is intertwined with his, says “To keep you from running away like a child in a crowd”. 
He is the one running his thumb over your skin, his hand squeezes yours, and says “Don’t get too excited over the food stalls.”      
He is the one rushing with you to find a good secluded spot, away from the crowd, while his hand pulls you closer by the waist, and says “It’s too loud. Here, stay closer.” 
And of course, he is the one buying your favorite Hanami Dango and says “You asked for it so you better enjoy it. And make sure to chew it properly - dango is sticky.” 
For someone who underlines his disapproval vocally, he sure pampers you with no objection about your interests. You’d muse and tease, saying that it was his way of enjoying flower viewing without saying it. However, before you could utter the words, a strong gust of spring wind blew past the street, sending a plethora of flower petals blowing into everyone’s faces. You shielded your eyes, whereas Scaramouche gently tugged at his ichimegasa hat, pulling you closer to further shield you. 
“See? I told you this yearly custom is a nuance.” - he lamented, but his words came out more as a murmur than a groan, perhaps because he held you directly in his proximity. Your faces were closer, and the veil of his hat served as concealment from any public eyes. 
You’d smile. He sure complained a lot, and Scaramouche didn’t like sweet deserts like you did. But whenever the opportunity arose, he’d make sure he had you under the veil of his hat, pressed flush by the hip to him. And if he was lucky, he might taste the sweetness of Dango through your lips instead.  
Listen, I'm a sucker for fluff, okay?
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