#and i did...but i realized after i graduated that my school friends who stayed closer to home didnt get a worse education than me

[jlheon]

౨ৎ — love exists, i’m full of it (psh)

pairing. situationship! park sunghoon x fem! reader genre. angst + fluff + suggestive wc. 2745 notes. sunghoon is toxic + implied they are involved sexually + kinda fwb (?) library.

🗯️ extra peng note. i wish i redeemed sunghoon more but you can take the rushed ending as you will </3

synopsis. when park sunghoon breaks up with his long time girlfriend he needs something to get his mind off her, you happen to be the perfect distraction : a girl who’s naive and has never had a boyfriend

it has been five months since you started your sort of 'arrangement’ with park sunghoon.

you met him at a party. a party you had no business being at.

the party was your average frat party. you were only there to pick up your drunk friend, only to be left banging on the bathroom door for twenty minutes.

she was there with some unknown guy and she told you to go home.

you tried to get through the sea of sweaty bodies when you bumped into someone's hard chest. his drink spilled all over your white shirt, making the drenched fabric completely see through.

you recognized sunghoon as the quiet boy from high school. he never spoke and he was barely present in class, you were bewildered when you watched him walk the stage at graduation.

he seemed to have recognized you too.

you were even prettier than he remembered. that night let himself be a little selfish.

sunghoon was quick to apologize and lead you to his room to lend you a clean shirt.

you ended up staying longer than expected.

sunghoon helped you out the wet shirt, throwing it in his laundry basket, and telling you that he would get out the stain for you.

when sunghoon helped you slip into one of his old shirts he let himself act without thinking.

“my shirt looks good on you,” sunghoon licks his lips as he shamelessly checks you out.

“oh,” you blush, staring at the floor. “thank you.”

“you know,” sunghoon comes closer to whisper in your ear. “you grew up well, i haven’t seen you since graduation.” that was a year ago.

that night, at the age of 19, park sunghoon had successfully taken your first kiss. well, kisses plural. sunghoon had also taken your first make-out.

after an awkward first kiss, you got the hang of it.

sunghoon found it adorable. he could tell you had never kissed anyone before, and you had even outright told him before he leaned it.

your kisses were innocent and shy, nothing like his ex-girlfriend.

he had to place your hands on his shoulders since you stood there with your arms at your sides awkwardly.

sunghoon tried to advance with you once it got steamy but you lightly pushed him off of you.

“sorry,” you apologized. “i’ve never done it before. that was my first kiss,” you sat on his lap with flushed cheeks and tousled hair from sunghoon running his fingers through it.

“that’s okay,” he reassured you. “i wouldn’t want to force you to do anything.”

you try to get up from your spot but sunghoon is stronger than you. he has a firm grip on your hips as he stares into your eyes.

“you’re leaving already?” sunghoon pouts, he's so cute you contemplate kissing him again.

“i mean yeah,” you scratched the back of your neck. “i thought you were looking for a hookup.”

“you don’t want to go further and that’s okay,” sunghoon explains. “but that doesn’t mean you can’t stay.”

you’re even more flustered at his words. why would park sunghoon want to be close to you?

you accept his offer nonetheless. slipping into his arms as you lay on his bed.

sunghoon listens to you ramble about anything. from what you did today leading up to this moment and to the fact you have never had a boyfriend before. you can’t stop talking when your nervous, and park sunghoon makes you even more than nervous.

you’re scared you’re talking too much but sunghoon’s short comments and hums tell you to keep going.

at 12:08 you realize you should probably get back to your dorm.

sunghoon walks you down to your car, holding you close as you weave through the crowd of drunk bodies at the party. he kisses you goodbye before you drive off as a blushing mess.

in the morning, you excitedly tell your hungover roommate about the encounter you had with the mysterious boy from high school.

she informs you the night before you met sunghoon was the very night he and his long-term girlfriend had broken up.

truthfully, hearing that made you feel kind of sad.

two days later he finally texts you that you can come over to exchange shirts.

when sunghoon sees you standing at the door of the frat he can’t help but think about how much prettier you look in the daylight.

clad in a cute pink dress as you stare up at him with your doe eyes, holding his shirt neatly folded in your arms.

he doesn’t think twice before letting you inside and leading you up to his room again.

you end up kissing for an ungodly amount of time. when you don’t feel like it anymore, you find the courage you had in you from the self-pep talk you had before coming and ask him.

“is it true you just broke up with your ex?” you ask while you lean on his chest as you're cuddled up on his bed.

“yeah,” sunghoon replies, eyes still glued to his phone.

“oh,” you frown. “are you over her?”

“it’s only been four days silly,” sunghoon chuckles, setting his phone to look down at you. “of course, i’m not.”

“oh,” you say again. “what is this then?”

“what is what?” sunghoon quirks an eyebrow at you.

“you took my first kiss,” you reminded him, hoping that would mean anything.

“oh,” he says slowly. “this could be a causal thing. you know while i’m getting over her you can get experience.”

“oh i see,” you look at the ceiling.

sunghoon moves down to peck your pouting lips. “so when you get a real boyfriend you’ll know everything since you learned from the best!”

that stung, but regardless you kiss him again to get your mind off of it.

now, three months later since the start of this arrangement, you’ve found sunghoon everything but casual.

for crying out loud, you’re sitting at a fancy restaurant on a date with sunghoon for your birthday.

“happy birthday ____,” sunghoon smiles as he spoon-feeds you the desert he ordered.

“thank you, sunghoon,” you giggle, eating the cake as he watches.

once you’re finished with your bite sunghoon leans in, pecking your lips and licking the bit of icing on the corner of your mouth.

not a day goes past where you don’t wonder why this hasn’t ended and why sunghoon doesn’t want to be your first boyfriend.

every time sunghoon’s name leaves your mouth you’re reminded of the time two months ago when you tried to call him hoon.

he ghosted you for a week after the nickname slipped during a heated make out session in your dorm room.

“i don’t think you should call me hoon,” sunghoon stands at your door, a week after the incident, a week after you last saw him. “you’re starting to sound like you’re my girlfriend.”

“oh,” you stare at him, the sleepiness leaving your body. “of course, i get it!” you force a small smile.

sunghoon enters your dorm at 2:18 am.

he walks towards your bed before getting comfortable under your covers with his arms open. you find yourself wrapped up in his embrace that night and well into the afternoon.

you take note of how he doesn’t kiss you the whole day he spends at your place.

you don’t know whether that is a good or bad thing. on one hand, maybe he is disgusted with you for calling him by a nickname but that wouldn’t make any sense considering the fact he has not let you go in the past six hours. though you hope that this means he finds companionship in you that is more than just the kissing and hookups.

you know you should have stood up a while ago but when sunghoon’s hands find their way into your hair to gently scratch your scalp you give in.

sunghoon and you spend the night together for your birthday. when you wake up skin to skin with him, you start to feel sick.

what the hell have you gotten yourself into?

you’re not even sure what you should label the relationship you and sunghoon have.

sunghoon is your friend. a friend that the first time you talked to him in over a year, took you back to his bedroom door and took your first kiss.

sunghoon is also the closest thing you have ever had to a lover. he’s taken almost all of your firsts. whether that is your first kiss or your first time. he takes you on dates and he never leaves in the middle of the night.

he’s always there for you when you need a ride after a night out with your friends.

which leads you to the latest encounter you’ve had with park sunghoon.

you were so drunk. unbelievably drunk.

it’s been five months since you have started seeing sunghoon and coincidentally the same month your best friend returned from her exchange student program abroad.

you went out for drinks to catch up with her and inevitably spilled your guts about the whole sunghoon situation.

and now you’re wasted with all of your friends with nobody to call and get you but him.

“____?” his raspy voice reverberates in your ear.

“hoon! oh my god, sorry! i mean sunghoon!” your cheery voice slurs. “are you busy?”

“it’s two am,” he responds sarcastically, but your hazy mind doesn’t let you recognize that.

“oh, sorry for bothering you then,” you apologize.

“i’m kidding ____,” sunghoon chuckes. “you need anything?”

“if it’s not a bother, can you pick me up?”

“where are you?” you hear his sheets rustle in the background.

“i’m at a club!” you giggle. “not sure which one!”

“____,” sunghoon sighs. “send me your location.”

“okay!”

when sunghoon arrives at your location he easily spots you drunk on the sidewalk. sitting on the disgusting pavement but you were too drunk and tired to care.

he gets out and carefully gets you into the passenger’s side of his car, buckling you in as you were too sleepy to do it yourself.

once sunghoon can get you inside of your apartment he helps you take off your shoes. carrying your tired body from the car to the hallway to your bed. taking off your makeup with some micellar water even though he saw makeup wipes in your cabinet because he knows they break you out.

he grabs a hoodie that he coincidentally had been looking for off your dresser and changes you out of the short red dress you had been wearing.

sunghoon tucks you under the covers before he sits on the empty side of the bed. he checks his phone to see it is way past three am and he decides maybe he should just stay the night. you’d think that after how long you two have been seeing each other you’ve spent the whole night together but sunghoon always insists on leaving or driving you home. he does this because ‘we aren’t a couple’.

“why are you still here?” you break the silence, which shocks sunghoon as he was sure you were completely knocked out.

“you scared me,” sunghoon breathily chuckles. “thought you were asleep.”

“‘m waiting for you to leave,” you yawn out, snuggling further into your duvet, sunghoon can’t help the smile breaking onto his face at the sight.

“why?” he questions, climbing under the covers next to you.

“don’t wanna embarrass myself in front of you,” you answer meekly. “you make me nervous.”

“don’t be silly ____, it’s just me,” sunghoon attempts to reassure you.

“that’s the problem,” you mumble, confusing sunghoon further. “being around you is weird because we’re re not dating but sometimes it feels like we are.”

“i guess so,” he stares at the side of your face, admiring how you look even prettier without makeup on while he can, given the fact you never let him see you without makeup. he doesn’t understand why. “but i’ve seen you in so many different states.”

“i kind of hate that,” you confess. “i’ve always wanted to fall in love. you check off almost everything ten year old me wished for, except for the fact we’re not dating, and you like me like that anyways.”

you never fail to make park sunghoon speechless.

“i just know little me is screaming at me,” you giggle, though your mood changes drastically. “i know that love is real because i exist and i’m unfortunately full of it, but i think i have too much already so nobody is going to give me any back.” you shift away from him.

“that’s not true,” sunghoon takes a deep breath before wrapping his arms around your waist from behind.

“then why can’t it be you?” your voice falters as tears well up in your eyes. “i want it to be you.”

“i can’t answer that right now,” sunghoon says apologetically, holding you closer.

he does not get any sleep that night. his eyes don’t even shut, only closing for a second to blink. sunghoon cannot stop thinking about your tearful confession.

your words replay in his mind like a broken record.

he wants to be with you so bad but he fears that once you establish your relationship he’s going to be the worst boyfriend imaginable. since that’s what his ex and him had constantly fought over, leading to the demise of their relationship.

he’s never shared with anyone how toxic him and his ex were.

so when he met you that night at the party he let his selfishness take over him. the way you were so sweet and shy towards him was so refreshing.

sunghoon knows it was wrong to string you along so he could use you to get over his ex girlfriend, but he couldn’t just let you go, but he also couldn’t jump into another relationship so quickly.

he failed to consider how this whole arrangement would make you feel. you’d been seeing each other for nearly half a year now, way longer than either of you anticipated.

but now he knows that you stuck around even though it was doing nothing but hurt you just because he had you completely wrapped around his finger.

you wanted to love him and he didn’t think he could be good enough to give you the love you dreamed about.

sunghoon thought he was a total douche.

the next morning you're surprised to feel a pair of arms around you. maybe you finally broke out of your shell last night and met someone at the bar who wasn’t sunghoon.

sunghoon can’t bear to hurt you, but it seems like he’s already been doing that all along.

“you’re awake,” you hear his familiar voice and slip out of his hold, sitting up, and scooting away.

“i am,” you reply, looking down at your clothes. “why are you still here?”

“am i not allowed to be?” sunghoon jokes, his eyebags prominent.

“i mean,” you scratch your head. “after what i said last night i thought you would hate me. this is only supposed to be casual and i ruined it.”

“you didn’t ruin anything,” sunghoon sits up and reaches for your hand to interlace it with his. “it’s my fault for-”

“no, don’t blame yourself. i knew what i was getting into and i assumed you would like me given time. i just hope we can still be friends,” your glossy eyes bore into his.

“i don’t want to be friends-”

“wow, okay. after i just spilled my guts?” you pull your hand away from his and back away.

“stop cutting me off,” sunghoon runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “i want to be your boyfriend.”

“am i still drunk,” you whisper to yourself as you check your surroundings.

“you’re sober now,” sunghoon reaches out for you once more. “let me be your boyfriend, please?”

you stare at sunghoon’s desperate and tired expression and crack a smile. throwing yourself into his lap. “not yet,” you say, muffled against his neck, as close to him as possible.

“this can be a restart,” you suggest, gazing up at him. “i think i’ll need some time.”

“can’t be a restart when i’ve seen every inch of you,” sunghoon smirks as he looks down.

“shut up!” your ears redden as you push his shoulder.

“take you all the time you need,” sunghoon pecks your forehead. “i’m always waiting for you and i’ll prove myself.”

[jockbroski34]

How Things Used To Be

I wonder how long it took me to notice that there was something wrong with Nathan.  We had been best friends for years, ever since the 5th grade, and we always hung out together both in and out of school.  I was hoping things could’ve stayed like that this summer, but it seemed like fate had other plans.  Between family vacations and college prep, it seemed like he didn’t have time for me anymore.  And to make it worse, whenever he wasn’t doing that, he was hanging out with some other guys who I had never met, and he never even bothered to ask me if I wanted to come with.  I know people grow and change, but I didn’t want to see it happen to my own best friend.  On the bright side, we’re going to the same college, so I hope I can see him around.

And I did see him.  It was the third week of courses, once I was starting to get acquainted with campus life.  For once, I was actually being more social, trying to fill the gap that Nathan left.  I used this opportunity to start talking to people in my classes and I found that we had some similar interests.  I wish I could say the same for my roommate, but he mostly keeps to himself and we don’t have much in common.

Okay, back to Nathan.  I was walking back to the dorms after my last class, texting one of my classmates about the homework.  I was interrupted when I walked headfirst into another student.  I should’ve been paying more attention to my surroundings.  I looked up at the giant in front of me, probably 6’3”, before apologizing.

“James, is that you?”  the giant asked.  The voice sounded very familiar, yet at the same time, different.  I took a closer look at him.  “Long time no see, huh?”  I was surprised when I realized who it was.

“Nate?  Woah, what happened to you?”  I couldn’t believe that this person in front of me was my best friend.  This was not the same Nathan from three months ago during graduation.  He was always a bit taller than me, but he had to have grown at least 3 inches.  He used to wear glasses, but it seemed like he switched over to contacts.

In the warm August heat, he was wearing a tank top which revealed his newfound biceps for the whole world to see.  The tank top clung closely to his chest and I could see his newly-formed six-pack through the fabric.  He was wearing basketball shorts that were short enough that I could catch a glimpse of his thighs, which were just as big as his arms.  I never knew Nathan went to the gym, and if he did, he never told me.  But still, I couldn’t comprehend how he became so huge in just three months, which made me more curious about what he had been up to.  A backwards hat fit tightly atop his head with Greek letters on them.  Sigma Lambda Chi…  Had Nathan really joined a frat?  To be completely honest, he looked like he was cosplaying as a frat bro, a far cry from how I knew him.

“Like what you see, bro?”  James chuckled, as he flexed one of his arms.  He definitely never came across as a cocky showoff, but I was too distracted by his flexed bicep to notice.  I caught myself staring for a second too long, before feeling my face turn red hot.  Me and Nathan knew everything about each other, but there was one thing I never told him.  I was gay.  To tell you the truth, I had a crush on him, but I knew I could never tell him to preserve our friendship.  But now he looks even better, and he hasn’t made time for me at all.  Now he really felt out of my league.

“I’ve been working out a lot lately.  I’m glad you noticed.”  He still had his signature smile, but it looked out of place on his new body.  His face especially looked a lot more angular and masculine.  A visible tan glazed over his body like a fresh coat of paint.

“Daaamn!  You look great, dude!”  To be honest, I wasn’t sure how to feel talking to him again.  On one hand, I was happy to see him again, and, admittedly, a little surprised to see him like this.  On the other hand, he ditched me this whole summer to hang out with some other guys.  It felt so bittersweet.

“If there weren’t other people around, I’d let you…I mean uh, how have you been bro?  I know I’ve been busy a lot lately.  Sorry about that, dude.”  We told each other what we did over the summer, and wow, was his summer more interesting.

As we caught up, I learned more about what he has been up to.  Apparently, he joined a frat and he was hanging out with the guys there more and more.  He promised that he’d bring me to a party sometime, but I was hesitant because I’m not much of a party animal.  That lifestyle just isn’t for me.  He also said he was thinking about joining our school’s football team at the request of his roommate, which I found even more surprising because Nathan never played sports in high school.  I did track, but I was never that big into sports myself.  Our conversation was interrupted as another guy entered the scene.

“Yo, Nate!  Finally found you.  You seriously need to get better at texting me back, dude.  And who’s this dude?”  The guy was wearing the same hat as Nate, so I figured he was one of his frat bros.

“My bad, bro.  Brett, this is James.  We go way back.  James, this is Brett.  He’s my roommate.  We met over the summer and we’ve been hanging out since.”

“Alright, cool, bro,”  Brett responded, clearly impatient and indifferent towards me.  He dismissed me entirely, almost like I wasn’t worth his time.  “You still going to the gym with me or what?”

“Sorry, bro.  I just ran into him and we were catching up.”  Nathan responded.  “Hey, I gotta get going.  We should get food sometime.  Peace!”  I watched as Nathan and Brett walked away in the opposite direction of me towards the gym.  As they moved further away, I could hear Brett chastise him about something.  This is the guy that Nathan ditched me for?  I hope I’m wrong, but he seemed like kind of a dick.  I know I was jealous of him for taking up my best friend’s time, but I didn’t trust him.  As for me, I returned to the dorm to work on the assignment with my roommate.

The next time I saw Nate was that weekend, when I held up his promise to get something to eat.  I tried to ask him about it earlier in the week, but he was doing stuff at the frat all that time.  I was at least grateful that he took time out of his schedule for me for once.  He mentioned that he normally doesn’t hang out with anyone who wasn’t in the frat, almost like they were some exclusive bro clique that I was excluded from.  For once, it was good to hang out with him one-on-one without any of his frat bros getting in the way.  I expected things to be like how they were before, but I couldn’t be any more wrong.

It’s not that I disliked the new Nathan, but I felt like we didn’t have much common ground anymore.  It was like he was a completely different person.  He didn’t seem to care that much about our old interests anymore.  He didn’t have time for video games and he just wasn’t that interested in watching movies or photography anymore.  All he seemed to care about was working out all day and partying all night.  All he would talk about was some stupid stuff he or one of his bros did.

Plus, he told me he switched his major from mechanical engineering to be a personal trainer.  It seemed like he just became a total gym bro overnight.  The studious and witty Nathan that I loved kinda just seemed to be a stereotypical meathead now.  The worst part was that I knew that this was the same Nathan deep down, and he still treated me the same even if he was a lot busier.  I felt like maybe I was the problem since he was clearly still having a good time, and I wasn’t.  Why do I feel this way?

I felt my mood change as we talked.  Eventually, I figured it was time to cut off the conversation and return to the dorm, but Nathan definitely knew something was off.  He texted me later that evening, asking me if everything was alright.  To be honest, I wanted to make some lame excuse that I was feeling sick, but we’ve always been honest with each other, so I told him how I really felt.

Me: Nate, to be honest, I think I need some time away from you.  I don’t hate you or anything, but it feels like we’ve been growing apart and I feel like you’ve become a different person.  I feel like when I look at you, I don’t see the Nathan I’ve known for years, but someone else entirely.

I wanted to say more about how I felt about his new changes, but I didn’t want to escalate things.

Nathan: James, I’m sorry you feel that way about me.  I felt like we had a good time today.  I’ve grown and changed a lot recently, and I’ve realized a lot about myself, but I’m happy with who I am right now.  I know I’m spending a lot of time at the gym or with Brett or my other bros, but I still care about you deeply, bro.  You might be right though.  Hanging out with you isn’t the same as hanging with the guys at the frat.

Me: Do you honestly see yourself as just a frat boy?  You’re more than that.  You’re my best friend.  But now, you have more in common with the jocks from high school than the Nathan I knew.  It’s hard talking to you now since all you care about anymore are your gains and partying.  You’re nothing more than a meathead now.

Nathan: So that’s how you see me, bro?  The reason I had been avoiding you is because I knew that you wouldn’t like seeing me like this.  I guess I was right, bro.  But trust me, I’m happy like this.  I’m a lot more social than when I was when I was with you, and I’ve even become more in shape too.  I care about our friendship more than you can possibly imagine, but I guess this is for the best.  To be honest, I think it would be a lot of fun if you were here in the frat with me, but I know you wouldn’t say yes.

I didn’t bother responding.  I could never picture myself joining a frat.  I would never get along with his frat bro friends, especially Brett, who seemed to be the one he was closest with.  I still couldn’t believe Nate would choose him over me.  I wasn’t sure whether to feel angry, or sad, or disappointed towards him.  I felt like he was wasting his life partying when he should be studying.  To think this was the person I cared about more than anyone.  It was at this point that I figured I probably wouldn’t have my old friend back.  Or so I thought.

A couple weeks passed and I tried to move on from Nathan.  I always saw him on his story drinking and partying late into the night at the frat house or posting selfies at the gym.  He looked like he was fully embracing his new frat boy persona now.  If he didn’t still care about me, it would’ve felt like he was doing it out of spite.  As for me, I started to hang out with my classmates more and more, and there was even a guy I went on a date with.  It was a nice date and I did like the guy, but for some reason, the thought of Nathan lingered in my mind.  Even though I hated what he had become, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about him.  I couldn’t deny how much he turned me on.  Why was I still thirsting after a stupid fucking frat bro?  One afternoon, after I returned to my dorm, I received a text on my phone.  To my surprise, it was Nathan.

“Hey bro, can we talk?  There are some things I need to get off my chest.”

I didn’t know what he could possibly want with me now.  I suppose I can hear him out just so I can see what he wants.  I went over to his room further down the hall, and thankfully Brett was not here to ruin the moment.  Nate said that he was doing some preparations for some stuff at the frat.  When I asked, he didn’t specify what though.  It always feels like stuff at the frat is kept under wraps.

“Did you want a drink?”

“Sure.”

“Even if it’s beer?”  A mischievous grin appeared on his face.  Was he seriously offering me beer?  I knew that alcohol wasn’t allowed in the dorms, but clearly that rule didn’t faze him.  Obviously he knew how to get his hands on some drinks.  To be honest, I had never drank alcohol before, but I figured this would be the easiest way to try it before I turned 21.  Plus, it might alleviate the tension between us.  Either that or make us fight like two drunkards in a bar.

“Sure, why not.”  Nate went to get two bottles for us.  I took my first sip and was disgusted by the bitter taste of the beer.

“You don’t like it?  Neither did I at first,” Nate chuckled.  “After a while, you get used to it.”  Nate turned the TV on as we chatted.  I apologized about what I said about him last time we talked, but he said it was no big deal.  I felt like I was a little too harsh on him.  It could just be the alcohol, but I found that I got along with him better than I did weeks ago.  As we chatted, my body started to tingle.  Was this how it felt like to be drunk?

“Hey, Nate.  I feel kinda weird, but not like drunk weird.  Is this normal, bro?”  I asked.  By this point, we both had two drinks each.  I didn’t mind the taste of the beer the second time.

“Nah, you’re fine bro.”  Nate responded, with a smile on his face.  Compared to me, he appeared to be much more sober.  “It happens sometimes, especially when you’re not used to it.”  I figured he knew best, since he was the one drinking and partying all the time, so I ignored this foreign feeling rushing through my body.  I felt as if my body was overheating as I felt my arms and legs throb and pulsate.  Sweat was leaking off my armpits and down my forehead.  There was part of me that knew that something was off, but it was drowned out by the alcohol.  As I took another sip, I felt my arm spasm as I accidentally spilled some beer onto my shirt.  Shit, I wasn’t expecting to do laundry later.

“Damn bro, you made a mess.  You alright?  Do you wanna change your shirt?”  Nate asked.  I nodded and he quickly went to his room to pick out something for me.  It wasn’t the first time I had to wear his clothes.  “Sorry about that, bro.  First thing I found.  Hope it fits you.”  It was a stringer tank with Sigma Lambda Chi on it.  I bet Nate looked like a walking symbol of the frat wearing that stuff.  For some reason, the idea was kinda amusing to me because it seemed so over the top.  I wondered how I would look dressed up like that.  I’d probably look really stupid.

I stripped out of my wet shirt and changed right in front of him.  I caught a whiff from my armpits, and I thought I smelled like a sweaty gym bro.  The tank appeared to be a size up and it hung loosely on me.  Still, it was better than nothing I guess.  Despite that, it had a nice familiar smell to it though.  It smelled like Nathan, but at the same time, it had a different flavor to it.  He smelled a lot more manly than I remembered.  I bet he wore it to the gym often.

Eventually, after my third drink, I went to go to the bathroom.  My body was starting to ache, like I had just done a workout with Nate earlier.  Workout…Was that what happened earlier?  …I think so?  Did we work out after class and come back to his place for some brewskis?  For some reason, the events of today felt incredibly fuzzy to me.  I was starting to forget the reason I was here in the first place.

I clumsily stumbled over my feet which looked bigger than usual.  After I took a piss, I looked at myself in the mirror.  Something was off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  I didn’t always look that big, right?  From a first glance, it looked like I was looking through one of those distorted mirrors they have at amusement parks.  I had to have been really drunk at this point.  I chuckled at the figure in front of me.  At this point, I almost looked like one of those frat bros!  I decided to flex my arms like they would, oblivious to the fact that they already grew just a little bit, before joining Nate on the couch.

“There you are, big man!”  he said as he squeezed my muscles.  I have been working out recently, I think.  “I thought you passed out in there.  Most guys don’t last that long for their first time, but you look good enough for another brewski.”

After downing our fourth drinks, the conversation took a different turn.

“Yo, James.  I knew you said you weren’t too big on the idea of joining our frat last time we chatted, but how do you feel now, having thought things over?”

I remembered our last conversation.  Honestly, I was so drunk that I didn’t remember why I turned him down in the first place.  The idea that seemed unappealing to me at the time seemed like it was perfect for me at this moment.  I didn’t even understand why I would be so reluctant to join.  I needed to join more than anything else.  I would do anything to join, even if I had to completely humiliate myself in front of my fellow bros.  At this point, nothing was too extreme for me.  The fact that Nate was in it was enough reason to join, so we could hang out more like we used to.  Plus, I could get to hang out with all my other bros and drink and party whenever we want.

“I’ve given it some thought, and yeah bro, I’ll join,”  my voice slurred as my mouth moved before my mind could.  I had committed at this point.  No backing out now.  I’m a member of Sigma Lambda Chi for life.

“Sweet, bro!”  He grabbed me on my far shoulder and pulled me close.  “I’m glad you said yes, because I have a surprise for you.  Close your eyes, bro.”

I closed my eyes as Nate went into his room to grab something.  Did I actually agree to join his frat?  I’m not sure what’s going on with me today.  When he came back, I felt Nate press on my head as his “surprise” fit tight around it.  “You can open them now.”

I realized I was wearing the same hat that Nate always wore, with his frat’s letters printed on it.  “We’re gonna be matching now, bro.  Isn’t that awesome?  I know you’re gonna want to wear it whenever and wherever.  But you’re wearing it wrong.  Let me fix it for you, dude.”  He turned the brim around so it faced my back.  As my hat turned backwards, I felt my mind fog up and any tension or brain activity screech to a halt.  I was unable to realize what I signed myself up for, unable to protest.  My conscious mind was drowned out by the alcohol and this hat was like a lock, sealing it away.  Not that I was against this, as a wave of pleasure surged through me.  I felt my mind slow down, almost as if it was stuck in molasses, as my thoughts began to simplify. It felt good though...

I would follow the example of my fellow brothers.  Look like them, think like them, act like them.  Almost like a hivemind of bros, you know, bro?  By this point, the changes were irreversible.  Nate had turned me into another frat bro just like him.

“Everything worked out as planned, bro.  You see, when you, my own best bro, told me you didn’t want to join the frat with me, I was actually really hurt.  So I talked to Brett, and had him “work his magic”, to help me do to you what he did to me.  I don’t like to lie to you, but it’s a frat secret, so now you get to know bro.  Like I said, it’s a secret, so don’t talk about this with anyone.”

“Don’t worry about it bro.  It’s all…uh…

Fuck dude, what’s the word…water under the bridge?  Huhuhu…”  I really had to think about that one.  I found it harder to articulate and use complex words, as I mainly just spoke in bro-speak.  To be honest, I wasn’t really that upset that he lied to me.  He did what he had to as a member of the frat.  I never stayed mad at one of my bros for very long.

“Now we get to be brothers for life,” he said as he gave me a big bro hug.  We clung to each other like two giant masses of muscle.  My huge biceps wrapped around his firm back as his did for me.  Afterwards, he handed me my fifth drink and we cheered to me joining Sigma Lambda Chi.  He laid down all of the rules, what everything was like, telling me about the coolest guys there, and so on.  He said he’d bring me to the frat house and introduce me to everyone tomorrow.  “They’re gonna love you for sure, bro.  I’ve got an eye for cool bros like you.”

As it got later, and we moved on to drink numero 6, I felt myself get very tired as we both passed out on his couch.  I woke up a couple hours later, and I looked out the window to see a pitch black sky.  Shit, it was almost 10 PM and I had to turn in my assignment at midnight.  But for some reason, I didn’t really care right now.  I didn’t mind turning in assignments late as long as the teacher still gave me credit.  I felt no different from the way I was a couple hours ago, just another Sigma Lambda Chi frat bro, but I liked it.  It felt right to me.  It was where I, no, where we belonged.

I looked down.  Nate’s tank hung tightly to me now.  It took me a second to notice my arms…Holy shit, they were fucking huge!  I looked awesome, bro.  As I admired my new body, Nate was still asleep, his hand on my meaty thigh.  Just above that, my dick throbbed through my pants.  Fuck, I was so horny for some reason.  Eventually, Nate slowly regained consciousness.

“I usually don’t drink this much on a school day,” Nate said, still a little hungover as he rubbed his eyes.  We sat in silence for about a minute before he spoke again.  “By the way, there was another reason I invited you over.  There’s something that’s been on my chest for a while.”

“Go ahead, bro.  I can take it,”  I responded confidently.  My voice sounded deeper and more bro-like than usual, just like him.

“Here goes, dude.  I think I like you, bro.  Not like you, but I think I like like you.  I know it’s hella gay, but I couldn’t stand to see you be so cold to me.  That’s why I had to make you a bro like me.  I’m sure you’ll love it here, bro.  And hey, if you’re not gay, that’s cool.  We can forget this shit ever happened and go back to being bros for life.”

At first, I honestly thought I was still dreaming.  First, he turned me into a frat boy, and now, he was confessing his feelings to me?  How crazier could this night get?  For all my life, I thought he was straight.  I remembered being glad when he broke up with his girlfriend two years back.  I couldn’t stand her.  When he joined Sigma Lambda Chi, I assumed he was 100% straight and that he was banging some sorority chicks every night.  To think he felt the same way I did all this time.

“Bro, I like you too.  When you stopped talking to me, I started to get kinda jealous.  I didn’t want to accept you for who you are.  But being your bro just isn’t enough for me, bro.”  I leaned in for a kiss, my inhibitions still nowhere to be found.  It was my first kiss and it was with the person I cherished most.  I felt like I was in heaven.  I didn’t really care that I was a dumb frat bro like him anymore.  I never did.  That shit was stupid anyways.  But now, Nate fixed our friendship and made us closer than ever.  I loved the taste of his lips against mine and I didn’t want it to end but eventually Nate parted our lips.

“Wanna fuck me, bro?”  he whispered in my ear.  A flirtatious smirk was plastered on his face, and one of his hands was still wrapped around my neck.  This was real.  I nodded as he took me to his bed.  I had never done this before, but I’ve seen plenty of porn, so I knew what to expect.  He laid down on his back and stripped naked.  I never felt this aroused before.  My dick even looked bigger than it used to be.  I was so pent up that I felt like I was holding this load in for months.  I guess frat bros really are as horny as they say.  I lubed up my larger cock before sticking it into Nate’s hole.

My serpent stretched out his tight hole as he had clearly not seen much action down there until now.  I pounded his ass as my dick went in and out of him.  In and out, in and out, in and out…It was a steady rhythm, my dick was like a metronome.  My hands clung to him as I held him in place, pinning him to his bed.  My hands ran all over his shoulders, broad and muscular, built like a football player’s.  We both felt absolutely euphoric as our deep, masculine moans filled the room.  The moans were loud enough that the students on the other side of the wall could easily hear them, but I didn’t care about any noise complaints as I fucked him harder and harder.  After half an hour of fucking, he both hit our orgasm at almost exactly the same time.  I ejaculated inside his tight hole, my hot, sticky seed flooding his insides as Nate came all over his abs.  At this point I was exhausted and still hungover and I basically fell on top of him on his bed.  We were both panting and out of breath.

“I knew you were a good fucker, bro.”  he whispered seductively as he kissed me.  We stayed in that position for several minutes until we heard the door open.

“Yo, Nate!  Did you do it?  How did it go?”  a voice asked, shouting loudly from the other room.  I recognized the voice as Brett’s.  He peeked into the room, witnessing the two of us cuddling together naked.  To be honest, I thought he would’ve been grossed out.  Guess I had the wrong idea about him.

“Better than expected, dude,” Nate responded.  He didn’t seem to care that we were both naked in front of his roommate and that we just got back from our trip to Pound Town.

“He looks way better this way, don’t you agree, bro?  But man, dude, now I know why you wanted him to be a pledge so bad.  I was wondering why you wouldn’t fuck any of those sexy sorority babes.  More for me, I guess.”

A week passed and by then, I joined the frat officially.  Me and Nate started dating shortly after, but none of our bros minded.  It didn’t matter if we were gay, we were still brothers.  I also learned how Nate met Brett.  He was taking a tour of the campus over the summer and he ran into Brett who was recruiting people for the frat.  Brett took a liking to him and kinda took him under his wing like some sort of mentor and they started hanging out since he only lived a town away from us.  Brett was our age, but he had more seniority and authority because his older brother Brad was very popular within the frat.  Turns out Brett and some of the upperclassmen knew how to turn guys into the ideal bros for their frat.  They wanted to bolster their numbers to make Sigma Lambda Chi the biggest and coolest frat in the state, with the biggest bros and the biggest parties, and naturally both me and Nate were chosen.  Not that either of us minded.  Nate joined the football team with Brett and some other guys in the frat, and the rest of us would go watch them play every game.  Our section of the stadium was always the loudest and rowdiest, especially when one of our bros scored a touchdown.

Apparently I grew a ton during the night that I was with Nate, but I was too drunk to notice just how massive I had become.  It must’ve been something in the beer, huhu.  I started working out with Nate and Brett, and sometimes some other bros too.  I even ended up changing my major.  I chose business because my bros said that it was the easiest shit ever and I wasn’t feeling psychology anymore.  I didn’t really feel like thinking much anymore and I found that focusing on education so much was a chore and that I was wasting my college experience.  I’d rather be partying and drinking or hanging out with the bros at the frat house, watching sports, playing video games, or playing ball outside.  I got to see why Nate grew to enjoy this lifestyle so much, and I was mad at myself for not seeing his point of view sooner.

Three years later, me and Nate are still dating and we’re set to graduate this semester.  We’re thinking about getting a place in the city not too far from campus, probably with Brett and another friend of ours to save money on rent.  We’ll probably still throw parties every weekend like we used to.  College was such a memorable experience and I wish I could live it again.  I only have Nate, Brett, and all my other bros to thank for making college awesome for me.

[reidingandwriting]

Lover (Steve Harrington’s Version)

Chapter Two: Cruel Summer

“I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Word Count: 2.1k

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings: Fem!Reader, cursing throughout, drinking, reader and Steve continuing to have Not Great parents (especially reader)

A/N: This fully meant to post yesterday but it never did?? Anyways.

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

You don’t know why you decided to go to the party. Well, yes you do. You wanted out of your parents’ house, you wanted to forget. You wanted to be with Steve. Steve, where was he?

“Steve?” Your voice was loud but barely recognizable over the sound of the music playing. You maneuvered through the crowd of drunk high school graduates and you moved your head as if on a swivel, looking for your best friend. In your search, you felt a hand grab your shoulder and instinctively, you stomped your foot and spun around when you heard a familiar voice curse. “Shit, ‘m so sorry!”

“Impressive aim! Would be proud if it wasn’t my foot you just broke.” Steve winced as he shook his foot out and you rolled your eyes.

“Not broken, crybaby.” Steve flicked you in the forehead and you pouted, the corners of your lips twitching as you fought back a smile. “Mm, thirsty.” You grabbed Steve’s hand and walked with him to the kitchen. You had a few drinks already and weren’t entirely sure of your route, not familiar with Kimmy’s house. You eventually made your way to the kitchen and you let out a little cheer as you realized where you were.

“How much have you had to drink?” Steve asked and he watched as you swayed a little bit. He didn’t blame you for wanting to drink the night away, however your tolerance has always been on the lower side. You seemed noticeably more tipsy than you were when he left for the bathroom, and you pulled out two cans of beer from the fridge. You offered one to Steve, who shook his head. “I’ll just steal some of yours when you’re not looking. Someone needs to be able to drive you home tonight.”

“Not even that drunk,” you huffed as you cracked a can open and took a large swig before you winced. “Ugh, I hate beer.”

“Sure have had a lot of it for someone who hates it,” Steve teased and you scowled at him so adorably, he had to ruffle your hair once he walked over to where you stood. “C’mon, let’s get some air for a minute.” Steve wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you quietly followed him, grounded by the warm, comforting touch. Steve led you to the front yard and you sat on the front porch, leaned against him.

“I hate them,” you said after a minute of silence. You had tried to keep your hopes down, you really did. Always expect the worst and you’ll never be disappointed. But it was your graduation. The biggest moment in your life so far and they couldn’t be bothered to show up. Steve hated seeing your face fall when you realized your parents weren’t in the audience of the gymnasium. Even his own parents showed up for once, even if they were late and didn’t stay long before they left.

You had been brave, plastering on a smile when the kids came to congratulate you. You nearly cried when Dustin had given you flowers and Max had shyly given you a teddy bear with a graduation cap. Joyce Byers had surprised you with her attendance and she brought a Polaroid camera, your share of the pictures tucked into your bag that presently resided in Steve’s car.

Steve opened his mouth to respond to you when he noticed the tear sliding down your cheek. He hadn’t seen you cry often, and he felt out of his element. Regardless, he pulled you closer and you clutched his shirt in your hands as you cried, your shoulders shaking. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” Steve hoped his voice was soothing, hand pressed to the small of your back.

“Wish we could just run away. Leave Hawkins forever, leave our parents behind.” You hiccuped. “I never want to see them again.”

“Why don’t you stay with me for a while?” Steve offered. “Not like we don’t have the space. You already have half of your things at mine, anyways.” You smiled against Steve’s shoulder, and your hands moved up, fingers twirling the ends of his hair.

“So soft. Such nice hair, Stevie.” Your voice had gone soft, tired and Steve sighed softly. “Can we go home?”

“Absolutely,” Steve said as he untangled the two of you. He stood and you reached up, making grabby hands at him. “As much as I appreciate your belief in how strong I am, I need you to stand up first.” You slowly rose to your feet and Steve scooped you up once you were standing. “Alright, princess. Let’s go home.”

-

“Stevie!” You sang as you walked into Scoops and you laughed at the glare he gave you. “Hey, Robs.” You greeted the girl you had quickly become friends with, Max and El politely greeting Steve and Robin before ordering their own ice cream cones. You watched as they sat at a booth and once they were settled, you leaned against the counter to talk to Steve, appreciating a rare moment of downtime in the ice cream shop. Steve pretended to look busy, wiping at the same spot on the counter as you talked.

“We still on for tonight?” You asked and Steve nodded.

“Of course. You owe me for taking care of your hungover ass after graduation,” Steve teased and you flipped him off with a scoff.

“What are you doing tonight?” Robin asked and you bounced on your toes.

“We’re going to the drive-in, Steve’s been begging me to go see this scary movie that sounds stupid,” you emphasized, barely moving out of the way as Steve snapped the rag out towards you. “And he did deal with my hangover exceptionally well, so I owed him one.” The sound of the girls laughing behind you distracted you and you missed the look Robin gave Steve.

“It’s not stupid! You’re stupid, Stupid,” Steve said and you rolled your eyes.

“Stupid,” you mocked and leaned forward to poke his hat. “Can’t call me stupid wearing your adorable little sailor outfit, kind of ruins the effect.” You wink before you turn to Robin. “Robin, my favorite person ever, can I have a chocolate cone please?” You started to dig in your pocket for the cash to cover yours and the girls ice cream and Steve shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it,” Steve said and you tilted your head. “Buy our popcorn tonight and we’re even.”

“I’ll even be nice and buy our drinks,” you smile, and the matching smile Steve gives you has your stomach fluttering. You flinched when Robin cleared her throat and you apologized as you took the cone. “I’ll swing by at seven?” You clarified and when Steve nodded, you let out a breath. “Perfect. I’ll see you tonight. See you later, Robin.” You almost tripped over your own feet in your haste to walk over to El and Max.

A minute later, the three of you left the shop and Robin walked over to the whiteboard. She drew a line under ‘You suck’ and laughed as Steve made an offended noise.

“Hey! That was prime flirting right there. I deserve a rule point.”

“If only you weren’t a dingus and actually asked her out instead of playing the ‘just friends’ card, maybe you would’ve gotten the point,” Robin said and Steve sighed. “You better ask her out before I do.”

“Watch it,” Steve muttered as another customer walked in. “Welcome to Scoops!”

Later that night, you and Steve sat in his car. The movie played over the radio, and you huffed as you turned the radio up. “Could you chew that popcorn any louder?”

“Sure could,” Steve said as he moved closer to you, chewing obnoxiously. You laughed as you slapped his shoulder and he settled back into his seat. “Thanks for actually coming with me. You didn’t have to.”

“Course I did. Plus, I can’t remember the last time we got to hang out without one of the kids interrupting.” Steve breathed out a laugh and hesitated before letting his arm drape over your shoulders. You reached up and started to play with his fingers, humming to yourself. You jumped at a scary part and laced your fingers with Steve’s, a firm grip on his hand as your eyes stayed glued to the screen.

“Not as stupid as you thought?” Steve asked and you shrugged.

“Good scares, but relies on them more than the actual plot.”

“What even is the plot?” You and Steve laughed and with a content sigh, you looked over at him. Steve’s gaze met your own, something you didn’t recognize flickering in his warm brown eyes.

“Everything okay?” You asked, frowning slightly. After graduation night, Steve had seemed a little… off and you couldn’t remember anything that would have made him upset. A lot of that night was fuzzy, to be fair.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something, because we don’t keep secrets. But I’ve been worried about how things could change, and I didn’t want to risk it.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, and he let out a breath as he looked anywhere but you. “We were going to bed after graduation night. And you. You said something, something I thought you meant. But you, you don’t remember it and I don’t know if you even meant it.”

You had been quiet the ride back to Steve’s that night. Steve helped you inside, got you settled into bed and you couldn’t sleep. You and Steve talked, tiredness beginning to take over when you mentioned you had a secret. You scooted closer; Steve could feel your breath fanning over his skin. He still felt the faint feeling of your lips brushing against his shoulder with the softest kiss. Steve was surprised you couldn’t hear his racing heart and he thought he was a goner when he heard you whisper.

“I love you. Ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Then you let out an almost delirious sounding giggle and Steve brushed some of your hair from your face. Let’s talk about it in the morning and see how you feel, he had said. Will still love you in the morning, you had insisted. The next morning though, there were no confessions of love. Just groaning over a headache and ‘five more minutes’ in bed.

“You said you loved me,” Steve said and you swore your heart skipped a beat.

“It’s okay if you don’t-“

“I need to know if you were serious-“ You and Steve stared at each other for a minute until the sound of a scream startled both of you and you reached over to turn the radio down.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while,” you admitted. “I was scared, okay? Scared you didn’t feel the same, scared I’d fuck up our friendship and-“ This time you were interrupted by Steve’s lips brushing against yours. After a second of freezing, you kissed him back, your hands moving to cup his face.

Steve shivered as your thumb rubbed his cheekbone and you broke apart a moment later, noses brushing against each other. “Guess that answers that, huh?”

“Guess so.” You went in for another kiss. And another, and another. You only pulled apart when you needed to breathe, and Steve couldn’t stop staring at your kiss bitten lips. When he finally met your gaze again, there was a fondness in there you hadn’t truly noticed before.

“Do you want to go to dinner with me?” Steve asked and you smiled as you nodded. “Great. Perfect.”

“Perfect.” You echoed. You leaned over the center console, ignoring the slight ache in your hip to rest your head on Steve’s shoulder. Steve’s hand moved to rest on your thigh and you smiled.

“I love you. Ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” Steve whispered in your ear, lips curled into a smirk and you slapped his chest.

“I was drunk!” The sound of your laughter was music to Steve’s ears and he pulled you closer, feeling happier than he had in ages. Maybe Robin was right; he had been a dingus. But he had ended up with you in the end, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[taeraeszn]

hi!! i absolutely adore your blog, im always so happy when you post ☹️ it makes me smile sm 🫡 would you mind doing a zb1 when they’re jealous reaction ?? it’s okay if not though !!!

when zb1 are jealous

hi anon, tysm for requesting!! here is yet again another table turn reaction post with zb1 being jealous instead of the reader!! this was also quite fun to write <3

i am aware that other writers have written this exact scenario for zb1, these are all completely my ideas and thoughts. any similarities are purely coincidental.

btw these are pretty long my bad

warnings: mentions of food, jealousy?, lmk if there is any more!!!

kim jiwoong

when he sees your friend casually putting their hand on your shoulder and getting closer to you, it makes him freak out even more on the inside.

and seeing you not mind it one single bit also makes his brows furrow

for some backstory, you two had been out and stopped at a local diner when one of your old friends that you haven't seen in a long time recognized you and asked how you'd been. but this friend wouldn't bother talking to jiwoong, only giving you the full attention and asking you a bunch of questions, mostly about your whereabouts

you being the kind person you are began conversing with them and sharing everything that you have been up to, such as meeting jiwoong

even then, you noticed that your boyfriend's facial expression had become more sour as he was either looking around or glaring at your friend directly

jiwoong then reached a breaking point when it had been an hour of your friend being there, along with the fact that you had barely spoken to him, he got up from his seat causing you to divert your attention to jiwoong

"jiwoong, is everything okay?" you asked, he nodded but seemed upset from the look on his face.

"yeah i just got a call from our manager, i have to go." but you noticed that his home screen didn't have a kakaotalk notification, was he lying?

he said goodbye to your friend and walked away, you heard him sigh as he walked off

you then excused yourself, "just wait." then rushing to see your boyfriend walking to the sidewalk. your footsteps quickly catched up to him and you softly grabbed his wrist

"babe, please tell me honestly. did i do something?" you asked. he then turned to face you, obviously looking disappointed at what occurred.

"i was really excited to go on a date with you, but i didn't expect for you to ignore me completely." it was then that you realized that you fucked up

"i'm sorry jiwoong, please know that i love you. i would never purposely hurt your feelings. i have no feelings for that friend, it's all you."

"i know that, i just don't want to be ignored on our dates." 

you pulled him into your arms, "i'm sorry my love, please let me repay you. let's go somewhere else, hmm? just the two of us?"

it was then that you saw his smile (yk the one where he lowkey is smirking), "i would love that."

rest of the members are under the cut!

zhang hao

you and hao were both cuddling in bed, excited to devour the food you had just placed an order on

"ugh when is the food coming?!" hao exclaimed, pouting while stretching his legs. you giggled and just as you were about to reply to him, the front doorbell rang. hao sprung up but you offered to get it, he decided to stay in bed and continue watching the film without you

but a few minutes passed and hao was wondering why you weren't coming back to bed, as he slowly rises up from his position, he heard you laughing

"wow that feels just like yesterday! i was wondering where you went after graduation." you said to the delivery worker who happened to be an old classmate from school that you hadn't heard from in a while

"well i had to move to another city for a while but decided to come back here and now i deliver food to people!"

"i'm glad your doing well!" hao's curiosity got the best of him, he followed your voice and saw you conversing with your former classmate

"oh, hello." your classmate greeted hao, he did the same and casually wrapped his arm around your shoulder

"you've been talking for a while so i decided to come out and see what's happening." he grinned, you leaned into his touch

"hao this is (name), we were classmates in high school and i just got to catch up with them! it's crazy how fast time flies by!"

"right?" your friend replied, just then they looked at their phone, "i got another delivery to go do...hey (your name), text me, i gave you my number right?" you nodded, "for sure, see you!" they then left and you shut the door.

you then faced hao was seemed like the most happiest man alive. you crossed your arms, "you're happy that they left, aren't you?" he shrugged, "i have no clue what your talking about." he walked back to your room. 

"oh please, i saw the way you were glaring, we're just friends. nothing else. why would i want to be with anyone else that isn't you?" a smile tugged at hao's lips

"you mean that?" you nodded and kissed his cheek, "a hundred percent." 

sung hanbin

"and it's just a group project?" hanbin asked for the billion time, you nodded

for the last five minutes you had been standing by the front door with hanbin, you were supposed to be out the house by now but hanbin kept asking you that same question

"yes hanbin, it's just a group project. we're just going to work on it then i'm heading home." he still seemed unsure and crossed his arms

this all began when you informed hanbin that you were heading out to work on a group project with some university classmates, though he was unsure of how to feel about it

the main reason being that one of those members in your group had confessed to liking you and still having some feelings for you, though you still ensured hanbin about it, he had mixed feelings

one of his biggest fears was you leaving him for that friend if they tried to persuade you further about going out with them

"okay...i mean, i'm totally fine with you hanging out with classmates!" he randomly said, you raised your brow, "are you sure?"

it was then that his smile faded and he became a bit more serious

"maybe i am a little bit jealous...i know that one of your group mates have confessed to liking you and it makes me wonder if their going to try and ask you out."

you sighed, placing your bag down and wrapping your hands around hanbin

"i promise that nothing is going to happen. i know that they like me but i only have feelings for you and only you hanbin. ever since that day we met, i know who i want to be with and i choose you everyday."

you could finally see his cat whiskers form after he smiled at your words, "well that makes me feel much better."

you gently kissed him, "i'm heading out now okay?" he nodded, "have fun my love."

now hanbin was certain that nobody would steal you from him

when the door shut, he grinned, he knew you were all his and only his to love

seok matthew

(yeah i'm going to make you guys really unbearable in this one LMAO i'm sorry!!)

matthew was thrilled to hear that you landed a job with a great pay, location, and hours. he knew how much you wanted to get a full time job and now that you were working, he was more proud than ever

but as you began sharing stories about your workplace and the people there, he realized that you were often mentioning one specific co-worker

this co-worker was someone who had their office right next to yours and a person you found yourself conversing with often due to your similar interests

at first he didn't seem too bothered by it as he thought that you were just getting to know them, but it later came to the point where you were bringing them up a lot at home and outside such as dates

for instance, when you were out shopping, sometimes you'd bring out the "oh (co-worker's name) likes this drink a lot!" or "i bet (co-workers name) would love this!" 

that's when matthew reached a breaking point and decided to have a chat with you about it

"(name), i understand that your getting along with your new co-worker but i'm seeing that your continuously bringing them up in every conversation. i don't have a problem with your friendships but i can't help but feel a bit..." he looked away, "jealous."

you understood and realized that it must've made matthew feel uneasy and were now regretting continuously speaking about them

"matt i'm sorry for making you feel that way, please know that it was never my intention." you said sincerely, he could only look down

"i'm not mad that your close with them, i just want you to think of how i feel when you constantly keep bringing them up." 

"i completely understand matthew. their just a coworker and that's all. i'll stop bringing them up constantly. i'm really sorry for that, what can i do to make it up to you?" 

he smirked, "i just want a day of us together, no mentions of anybody, just us as a couple. after all, your work has stolen hours that we could've been together."

you giggled and rested your head on his shoulder, "what about that new restaurant that opened nearby?" you suggested

he pecked your forehead, "i would love that."

kim taerae

you were watching one of your favourite groups perform on tv with your lightstick in hand, shouting their names for the fanchat

it had been a while since they had came back but their comeback was definitely worth the wait as the song had been on repeat everyday since it's release

taerae finally returned from practice and the first thing he saw was you screaming at your tv

"please not them, please not them." he repeated in a mantra. as he got closer to the tv, that's when he saw that group performing

he had been hearing this song all day whenever he returned home and he had already memorized the lyrics thanks to you putting it on loop

but to be fair the group performing had great stage presence and even taerae couldn't help but get sucked into their watching their performance 

"oh babe your back home?" you said, snapping him out of his focus

"yeah we just wrapped up practice. what are you doing?"

you giggled, "oh, you know that group i really like? they just had a comeback and i'm SO in love with their new song! they just performed on inkigayo!"

taerae knew about your obsession with this group, but he knew that you loved zb1 equally as much as them, you had just been into this one group longer since zb1 had just recently debuted

he then nervously glanced at you, "well babe...have you been listening to our debut? y'know in bloom is a really good song." 

seeing taerae like this was a bit cute, you knew he had mixed feelings over you saving this groups photos, watching their lives, and consuming ever content of theirs

and seeing how this group had a comeback, he knew you'd fall back into this habit and make him even more jealous

"kim taerae, don't tell me your jealous." you joked, his dimples showed as he looked away, clearly smiling in defeat

"okay yeah yeah i am." you got up and cupped his cheeks

"you know that you're the only person i love romantically taerae. they don't stand a chance against you." 

"thank you my love, i love you."

just then the performance wrapped up and now another group began performing, taerae looked at the screen and back at you, "well i guess it's me time now right?" he giggled

"yup, you have me all to yourself." you reassured

shen ricky

you and ricky were on a date at a fancy restaurant to celebrate your anniversary, ricky went all out by making sure the place had great reviews, good service and delicious food

you were enjoying it as well, devouring in the delicious food quickly not wanting to waste any more time

but just then, a server came over to get your check. ricky being the tall and handsome guy he is, handed the server his card without hesitation

“babe you don’t have to, here i’ll pay.” you offered, pulling out your card as well. ricky chuckled, “babe it’s ok, tonight is all for you.”

your cheeks began heating up at his words but then the server spoke up

“excuse me?” you looked up, “yes?”

“i just wanted to say that you look absolutely breathtaking.” your eyes widened at the server’s kind words

“oh my...thank you.” ricky smiled as well, “they're not wrong.”

“oh you stop it!” you exclaimed, “but seriously, thank you for your kind words.” 

the server shook their head, “it’s nothing. i couldn’t help but stare at you from afar. you really catched my eye.”

despite you enjoying the continuous compliments, ricky couldn’t help but feel some type of way about them, especially seeing how the server completely ignored his presence

as the night wore on, the server continuously approached you to say things to you. ricky noticed how you were living for the praises but was a bit frustrated at the server ruining your alone time with him 

(also because he was jealous that someone else’s words could swoon you)

at the end of the date, you were driving home and ricky couldn’t help but sigh in the car

you noticed his sour expression as well, “babe is everything okay?” 

he shrugged, “i don’t know, maybe you should go talk to that server since you were giggling at their compliments.”

you then put the pieces together, ricky was jealous, and you loved it. it was a rare sight to see ricky jealous but you were living for it

“ricky…that server isn’t my partner. you are. even if someone does flatter me, you are the one who makes my heart beat the most. you are the one who i’m with.”

you could see a smile begin to form on his lips, “really?”

“for sure.” he then softly held your hand while his other was on the steering wheel

“looks like i’ll need to find a new restaurant next time.”

“ricky!”

kim gyuvin

one thing you absolutely loved was pranking your boyfriend since gyuvin gave the best reactions to almost everything

you saw the tiktok trend of where people call their partners by different name and so you decided to prank him with that exact idea

the setting was perfect! gyuvin was at your house and you two were home alone. you were now waiting for the right moment to strike

he was on his phone, seeming unbothered and scrolling through twitter. it was now time! you positioned yourself up properly to begin the shenanigans

you got your phone out and opened tiktok to go to your likes, “gyumin! look at this video!” you shoved your phone in his face

it was then that gyuvin-or gyumin paused and looked straight at you with a blank expression

“what?” his eyes looking completely puzzled

“look at this video, it’s so funny!” he then pushed your phone away lightly, eyes daggering at you

“who’s gyumin?” he said. you pretend to act laid back

“oh sorry? did i say something else?” now his mouth was wide open with his eyes popping out, you almost burst out laughing but concealed your laugh

“uh, yeah! Who’s gyumin?!” he exclaimed, “are you close with someone else named gyumin? since when did you know someone named gyumin? give me their number, i want to have a talk with them.” he suddenly said in one breath.

“calm down! It was just a mistake.” gyuvin still seemed unsure, his brows furrowed

“y’know, i should be the only gyu that you know.” he pouted

you cupped his cheeks, “gyu it was just a prank. obviously i don’t know anyone named gyumin!”

his facial expression suddenly changed as he began laughing and pulled you into his arms

“how dare you!” he yelled, then kissing you gently on the forehead

you giggled, “what was that for?”

“just to remind you that i love you.” he murmured, “i love you too, gyumin.” you blurted out

“HEY!”

park gunwook

“noooooo!” your boyfriend yelled, refusing to let go of you. You sighed while playfully rolling your eyes 

“gunwook, i have to go.” you said for the thousandth time

“why don’t you just get tutoring from me?” he suggested. 

“are you sure about that? You struggled on conjugating ‘to eat’”. you then attempted to grab your bag that was lying on the floor

“hey! that was a one time thing.” he whined, “and anyways, I’m not letting you leave.”

to put it short, gunwook was jealous of your new tutor as they were incredibly attractive

gunwook also knew them personally and the last thing he wanted was for you to fall for them

he didn’t want you to leave and tried everything to prevent you from leaving, but in the end, he knew you would have to leave for the lessons

“gunwook, i promise that nothing will happen between us. they're just teaching me japanese, that’s it!” his facial expression thought otherwise

“yeah sure and then what happens? maybe they’ll confess!” you sighed

“do you actually not want me to go?” gunwook then freed you from his arms and seemed more relaxed than before

“i don’t know, it’s just…i liked you for so long before confessing and i don’t want to think of someone else taking you away from me.”

you giggled, “yeah i remember when you chased after me for months so that we could become close."

gunwook’s hand gently held yours, the silence was calming as it showed your love with your boyfriend

“i’m sorry i overreacted, if you want to go for your lesson now then i won’t stop you.”

you smiled, “it’s okay gunwook, i’ll be sure to show you everything i learned!”

you finally saw his grin return, “okay, have fun!” he waved

It was then that you could finally grab your bag and say goodbye to your boyfriend, then leaving the house to head to your tutor’s place

han yujin

in class you were sitting at your desk that was situated at the corner of the class, just scrolling on your phone out of boredom

you had a small break in between your classes and yujin had just left the class

as you looked up from your screen, you saw your classmate minseo standing in front of you

“hi (name)!” they greeted. minseo was the class president and someone who was very well liked among your classmates

“hi!” you put your phone away to give your full attention to him

“i was wondering if you wanted to head to the convenience store nearby at lunch since all my friends are gone today.” you knew minseo was someone who liked having someone tag along with them rather than being alone, and you two had recently began getting close with one another

“sure why not?” you grinned. just then yujin walked in with his earphones in, he noticed you and minseo having a conversation and slowly took them out to hear your conversation clearer

“great! want to meet up at the front door when the bell rings?” they suggested, “sounds good!”

“thanks (name), i really appreciate it.” you waved goodbye and minseo returned back to their desk at the front

yujin approached you, “what did minseo say to you?”

you shrugged, “they asked if i wanted to hang out with them at lunch since their friends are all absent today.”

knowing how nice you were to nearly everyone, yujin assumed that you said yes to minseo’s offer, but deep inside he was wishing you’d hang out with him at lunch instead

“oh…so did you say yes?” you nodded

“oh, okay..” he walked back to his desk but you noticed that yujin grew much quieter afterwards, not speaking much to his peers and only when the teacher called on him

when the bell for lunch rang, everyone rushed out and you were the last to leave. but as you were about to head for the staircase, you felt someone softly grip your wrist

you turned to see yujin, “are you actually going with minseo?” you nodded, “yeah, i’ll see you later okay?”

“wait!” he exclaimed, “can we spend time today after school? I want to also hang out with you.” he shyly looked down

you chuckled, “don’t tell me you're jealous han yujin.” he looked up, “how did you know?”

“it’s quite obvious since you kept glaring at minseo the entire class, and now your saying you want to hang out this afternoon when you usually head to the academy.”

he looked away in embarrassment, “okay you got me.” he then softly held your hand, “have fun okay?” 

“i will, and i’ll see you after school.” you waved goodbye and went your different ways

[kuzure-collapse]

childhood rivals to lovers prompts

because it took me until high school to realize that the annoying boy i knew in 7th grade might've liked me

—-

being the top of their classes but only having eyes to compete with each other

being nerds and doing homework together after school but only to compare answers and smugly correct each other

X finds out Y's favorite color and starts wearing more of it, Y secretly likes it

having insulting nicknames that only THEY can use on the other

neither of them know how the beef started, could be that X already liked Y and didn't know what to do with feelings + Y being friends with kids that liked to argue with X

they end up hanging together bc of mutual friends and Y ends up enjoying this group more than their old friends

or X is friends with Y's sibling so they end up encountering at Y's house unexpectedly

maybe teachers note the rivalry and seat them together/pair them for projects. the class likes to watch their back-and-forth

"you look dumb with your hair up like that" "fix your chapped lips" "short" "weak" other immature digs at each other

losing contact as they end up at different high schools and eventually go to different colleges, maybe out of town

both were too stubborn to get each other's contacts, or didn't have ways to personally contact each other after middle school

neither said anything at middle school graduation, last they'll ever see each other

maybe one cries, or X randomly hugs Y before running away, maybe a small picture together taken by their parents who don't know about the rivalry

cut to college, they return to their hometown during a school break. maybe the breaks happen to line up

see each other in passing on a crowded bus/train, almost don't recognize each other

"was X this attractive?" sort of thoughts. maybe one notices and the other doesn't, or both make awkward eye contact for a split second before looking away

maybe they end up visiting the old bakery/cafe they always went to as kids and see each other on line, or X is working register as a summer job

brush it off bc maybe they've been thinking about their crush for so long that they're hallucinating the scenarios they made up

do they keep feigning ignorance? at this point, haven't there been too many coincidences?

one decides to take a chance and calls out to the other with the old insulting nickname

it works and they respond in kind with a smile

"It's been almost a decade now"

"you look different"

taking a closer look and seeing how the other has developed. the awkward baggy clothes have been replaced with better fitting stylish clothes.

the baby fat is gone but the smile's undoubtedly the same

noticing the changes they made in appearance and remembering the old insults they threw. maybe one did change their hairstyle and looks way too attractive, maybe one got muscular and is much stronger than the other

even better with height differences, especially if the one who used to be shorter grew way taller

or the shorter one stayed short and the other grew substantially

making snarky but lighthearted remarks mentioning inside "jokes" from the past

"still got chapped lips?" "still looking at my lips?" even better if one knows about the other's crush

one has the courage to ask for the other's contact info, finally arrange something close to a date (they never specify)

reminisce about old times, maybe meet up in the old playground/cafe/bakery near the middle school

realize they get along well as adults, talk about high school and college and where they're going in life

sad if one is going abroad, or if their careers are so separated that they probably won't have time to see each other a lot

maybe they secretly kept mementos of each other. if not that graduation picture, then the mean doodle Y drew in X's notebook, or the post-it X left in the book Y lent them, or the hat that Y never gave back, or the pen that X stole from Y's bag, etc.

"are you with anyone?" "no, you?" "me neither"

"i used to like you when we were kids" "used to? what about now?"

or "what am i supposed to do with an expired crush" to be sassier

meeting again is stirring up old feelings

happy end, they get together and have a strong long distance relationship or smth

sad end, they part ways for the final time

[chaosduckies]

Their First Date

Surprise! Here’s a little gift from me to you for getting me to 50 followers! I hope you guys like it :D

Word Count: 4.5k

CW: None!

———Nathan———

Things were great. Amazing even. A month out of school and nothing bad has happened. Yet. I was still afraid that something horrible might happen since my luck is just like that. When I have something good, it just gets stripped away from me. Hopefully not now though. I mean, I couldn’t ask for anything better really. Ryker asked if I wanted to live here now that we were… dating. He said he also didn’t want me to be lonely all of the time so how could I say no to that generous offer? 

My only problem was that I couldn’t help out much. Like at all. I mean I could cook for Lucky and Angela and all of that, but I couldn’t do anything to help Ryker, which was one of my main reasons for coming on top of helping take care of his siblings. So there goes that plan down the drain. It never stopped me from at least trying to though. When he was cooking I’d try to push some of this things he needed closer. Of course I could barely even do that and he just picks it up effortlessly whenever he did need it. I try to walk around on my own, but since there aren’t any human accommodations at the moment, I can’t even get around anywhere without him carrying me around. 

I felt bad, but I had no idea what to do. It just kind of feels like I was there just to be there. That makes sense, right? 

Today wasn’t any different. I made some breakfast for Lucky and Angela like usual, walked out into the living room to see that everyone else was already eating their own breakfast, and just waited for Ryker. Again, I couldn’t just climb up the couch, nor did I really want to ask anyone to just let me on. 

Ryker walked into the room, yawning before holding out his hand for me. I climbed on, being placed on the armrest as usual. I still didn’t really understand how this whole… “relationship” thing works. I mean I did sort of, but not really. Right now it just feels like we’re still acting like friends. Like, what else were we supposed to do? We’ve only ever kissed twice, the night after we had graduated, and I don’t know if that was only a one time thing. I don’t know! I should probably ask him or tell him that I don’t know how any of this works but I had no idea how he’d react. Lately we’ve just been around each other, he’s kept me a lot closer and I absolutely love it (Curse being touch starved beyond repair-), he lets me sleep with him if I want to and he’s just…agh. He knew more about this than I did that was for sure. 

“Did you eat?” Ryker whispered so quiet that only I had heard him. I turned to face him, nodding my head. Last night we stayed up pretty late. We weren’t even doing anything either. I was just listening to him like we used to do. I never realized how much I loved listening to his voice. Was that the reason I loved him? He had mentioned something about maybe applying to a college, but he didn’t really know if he could handle it.  I wanted to say, “Of course you can!” Or really anything, but I didn’t. And I should have. 

“Did you?” I mumbled. He gave a slow nod, closing his eyes while listening to whatever conversation was happening in front of us. I slightly frowned, worried. Was he more tired because of me? He never used to be like this, even while we were still in school. Maybe it was because he has been thinking hard about enrolling into a college? Then again I’ve noticed that he tries his hardest to make as much time for me as possible. I had no idea why, and I always feel bad that I’m keeping him up. So was it really me? 

  I winced at the thought, but didn’t dwell on it for so long. I can just ask him, right? Yeah. Just ask him and then you’ll get your answer. It’ll all be fine… 

After everyone had left, Jasmine grabbing a blanket and tossing it over Ryker, who looked about ready to just pass out from the lack of sleep. Should’t I be the one to do that? I played with my hands, heart beating faster. Jasmine came back from the kitchen with a mug filled with tea and ordered Ryker to go to sleep. He just smiled softly and thanked her as she headed off to Isabelle and Angela’s room. I can’t do any of that for him… 

I sighed, turning my body to grab the human-sized pillow and blanket to wrap myself up. I didn’t have anything to do today. Usually everyone goes off and does their own thing. If they had left they’d tell either Ryker or me and then go. I mean I’m glad that they don’t think I’m messing up everything around here, but still. Was I the only one here who thought that I was just being a nuisance? 

“Nathan, you okay?” Ryker had asked, sitting up with the same worried look in his eyes as always. I nodded, “I should be asking you the same question.” I stared down at the fabric I was sitting on. I felt so bad. I wish I could do so much more. I wish I could be the one to take care of him when he’s sick or tell him to rest when I knew he needed it. Instead I was just stuck and forced to watch others do my job. That is what I’m supposed to do, right? Take care of your partner? 

“Hm? I’m fine. Just a little tired.” He smiled, his hand opening palm-up to face me. I hesitantly climbed on, wondering if this was the right choice. Did he want me to take a nap with him? My face flushed a deep red at the realization. In front of everyone? If they come to the living room they’ll see us. I guess there wasn’t really a reason to feel so embarrassed aside form the constant teasing from Dylan and Lucky later. 

“Would you mind going out with me later? Just the two of us.” He had asked, still sitting up. I jumped, a little shocked at the question. Go out? Like-Like on a date? 

“W-with m-me?”I squeaked out, earning a little laugh from Ryker. 

“Who else would I go on a date with? Plus, I know we both don’t like crowded places, so it’s a small place I know.” He waited for my answer. How could I say no? I’ve never been on a date either. But wouldn’t that just make him more tired?He wouldn’t be embarrassed by me? It’s not entirely unheard of a human to be with a giant but isn’t it… weird for him? He’s also said he’s never kissed a human before, so this was new for Ryker too? 

“Sure!” I smiled, trying to cover up my worry. Won’t people look at us weird for being together? Being friends with a giant and dating one are two different things. I think at least. If other people catch on that we’re dating wouldn’t they say something about it? No one has yet, but still. I was always afraid of that. That maybe it’ll eventually get to Ryker and then he’d really leave me. 

Ryker slightly cupped his hand a bit more, a soft smile on his face, “Did you want to go somewhere else? I’ll just take a short nap.” He had offered before resting his head on the pillow lying next to him. I shook my head, climbing off his hand as soon as he was comfortable. 

“Get some rest.” I mumbled, my mind debating on getting closer or staying where I was at. Ryker didn’t reply, but closed his eyes and shoved the hand that was holding under the pillow. I stayed as quiet as I could be before deciding to lay down and close my own eyes. So it was decided. We were officially going on our first date. 

——————

When I woke up, there was no looming presence near me like when I had fallen asleep. I pushed myself up, rubbing my eyes and looking around while my vision came back to me. Ryker wasn’t lying next me anymore. I jumped, looking around the living room and finding Dylan sitting on the other side of the couch with Lucky on his shoulder while playing a game on the tv. 

I tried to stay quiet, hoping they wouldn’t notice me being awake while they were hyper focused on whatever game they were playing with no volume. Did they not want to wake me up? Dylan quietly groaned while glaring back to Lucky on his shoulder, who I was guessing was sticking his tongue out like some child. That actually fits him extremely well. 

Dylan turned his gaze to me, taking a second to realize that I was awake. 

“Oh! Sorry we didn’t wake you up, right?” Dylan asked, letting Lucky down next to me, who was wearing a huge smirk on his face. Here comes the teasing of course… It was actually pretty funny though. 

“N-no.” I shook my head. 

“You were sleeping with himmm.” Lucky laughed. My cheeks flushed red from embarrassment as I didn’t really know how to reply to that. What was I supposed to say? “Sorry for sleeping with your brother.”? Yeah, that was not happening. Imagine if he found out that we basically sleep with each other every night. He already tries to get me to kiss him, but I’m always hesitant about that. It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s more like if Ryker even wanted to in the first place. Plus, I doubt he can even feel it unless he really focused. Why was I thinking about this right now? 

“He’s just taking a shower right now. He told me to help you down if you woke up.” Dylan shrugged. That makes more sense. But shouldn’t Ryker still be sleeping? Why didn’t he just wake me up? Was it a bad idea to stay with him? Wait, just calm down. I took a short deep breath before standing up and trying my hardest to regain balance on the cushiony surface. 

“Th-thank you.” I spoke a little louder than a whisper so Dylan could hear. He let me climb onto his hand and slide me off onto the floor. I’ve been getting closer with everyone lately. Mostly because I’ve been staying here for the past month, but still, I always try to avoid asking for favors and to let them help me because I didn’t know if they’d eventually get annoyed. Stupid, right? It’s still a possibility. 

I walked over to the human-sized rooms, checking the time on the digital clock by the fridge reading that it was almost one in the afternoon. I had no idea if Angela was hungry or not, but Lucky didn’t mention anything. I guess I’ll wait until Angela comes and finds me. In the meantime… I should probably figure out what I want to wear later tonight. I didn’t want to look indecent, plus I had no idea where he was even taking me. He said somewhere not crowded so I guess it would be fine. 

In the end, I just chose a simple t-shirt with my blue jacket and some jeans. It’s not really that fancy but I doubt either of us were going to wear anything like we were going to a five star restaurant. It seemed fine to me. I laid them out on the couch and went back to the living room where Dylan and Lucky were still playing their game. I didn’t want to bother them, so I just walked around the place, enjoying the little peace I had. As much as I loved staying here, I had no idea how Ryker handles everything all at once. At least I’m helping. Even if it really wasn’t much. 

There was only one more month before everyone but Ryker and I had to go to school, but even then I’m pretty sure Ryker is going to apply for college if I can convince him to. I mean he does deserve it, but I also don’t want him to be overloaded with things. He can do online courses and take in person twice a week. That doesn’t sound too hard and I can try my hardest to take care of things over here. I doubt I could, but still. 

——————

It was around seven at night, I was dressed up in the clothes I had laid out, waiting for Ryker to finish changing. I couldn’t help but feel the teasing stares as Dylan and Lucky were both whispering about something I couldn’t exactly hear. Isabelle and Angela were busy playing in their room and Jasmine’s attention was glued to the tv, but I could tell how much she just wanted to slightly tease me too. I sucked in a shaky breath and just kept waiting. 

“Hey Nathan, going on a date?” Dylan had asked, switching seats to right next to me. My face flushed a deep red from embarrassment. He can probably make a really good guess from that. I let go of the breath I was holding, hesitantly nodding my head. Don’t get me wrong, I do really want to go with Ryker, but what if I do something wrong? Would that make things awkward? Would he kick me out? I technically do have a place to go but I don’t think I could really handle that. Mentally wise. 

“Just leave him alone, Dylan, you’re gonna make him self-conscious.” Jasmine chuckled as Dylan muttered an apology. 

“Hey I’m just trying to say good for him.” He shrugged, turning his own attention to the tv. My heart started beating faster the second I heard Ryker’s door open. My breath nearly caught in my throat seeing that he was wearing a sweater than looked a little baggy on him, but I think that was the look he was going for. People would look at him because he’s wearing a sweater in the middle of summer, but then again I’m wearing a jacket so I can’t say anything. Instead of his usual pants with the chains on the side he was wearing gray cargo pants. This was nothing like how he usually dresses up. Did he dress up for me? Now that makes me think I should’ve worn something better. 

“Ah, um, I-I know it’s not a suit or anything, but I don’t really feel comfortable wearing anything like that-“ 

“Ryker wearing something other than a hoodie? Nathan, he has it bad for you.” Dylan whispered that last sentence to me, my brain nearly frying. Wh-wha? Why did I think it was such a big deal that he was wearing a sweater instead of a hoodie? It didn’t mean anything. Why was everyone shocked as soon as he stepped into the living room? Why was my face turning into a very noticeable red? Oh wait I should probably hide that- 

Ryker was blushing nearly as much as I was. 

“So where are you two going?” Jasmine laughed as Ryker somehow managed to calm himself down before walking closer to me. 

“Somewhere. We’ll be back before midnight.” He answered as I quickly climbed onto his hand, trying to hide my blush from his eyes, though I’m sure he’s already seen it. This is so embarrassing… 

Ryker closed the door behind us, taking moment to look down at me. I’m guessing he just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. I couldn’t thank him enough for that. I’m pretty sure if Dylan had said one more thing I would have passed out. But here I was, completely conscious and about to hopefully have the best night of my life. 

“S-sorry. Dylan can be a bit much,” He chuckled, taking a good look at me before smiling, “You look good.” 

I couldn’t get my voice to work for me, but I eventually forced it to. 

“You too.”

Was this what it felt like to be on a date? I had no idea. All I know is that I had butterflies in my stomach and I was absolutely not feeling good. Was that because I was nervous? Yup. Probably. 

“You ready to go?” He had asked softly as I nodded my head in response. No, no I wasn’t. It felt like everything that I had eaten today was about to come right back up. Not really, but that’s what it felt like. Hopefully I can get through this. 

—————-

The place Ryker was taking me was some sort of small little restaurant where only a few people were. Of course some of the people we passed by were staring, but I couldn’t tell if it was because we were both wearing some kind of jacket, or it was because we were here. Together. On a date. Should I be worried about those people? 

The waiter had taken us to our seats, gave Ryker a menu and told us that he would be back in just a few minutes. The place was quiet except for the music playing in the background. I looked around the place, seeing that almost everyone here was either on a date or just hanging out with friends. There was a human side to the place, but there were only four people there. Otherwise I was the only human on this side as far as I knew. It just made me a little bit more nervous. A lot, actually. 

Ryker was also looking around, almost immediately looking back when a group of people had looked at him, snickering. What was that all about? I couldn’t really hear, but I could take a really good guess. It was because of me. Like I had said before, after school, not many humans and giants stay friends. Another reason why I was so worried about Ryker leaving me before. They only stay friends throughout school just to have some sort of superiority over others. Now, no one really cares about that. 

There were of course human-sized tables which I had sat down on, but I wasn’t exactly given a menu. I wasn’t really all that hungry either. At least I think. 

“I’ll order for you if you want. I know you don’t feel comfortable talking with new people.” Ryker had smiled despite the whispered behind him. The group looked like they were all at least in their late twenties or early thirties. On a double date maybe? Again, I had no idea what I was even doing. 

“Oh! Thank you.” I mumbled, grateful that he had offered before I could have a panic attack in front of the waiter. I was so used to just hanging out at the cafe Ryker works at. Sometimes I’d make the long walk just to come visit him or just to hang out with some of his co workers. Like Nylah. It’s usually quiet there, and even when it’s not it’s because the workers were all busy talking with the regulars that go there. At the moment it seemed like it was crowded even though there wasn’t that many people. Maybe that was just my self-conscious speaking. 

“Water is fine.” I mumbled again, keeping my voice down in case somehow the table near us could hear me. Yup. It was my self-conscious. I couldn’t help but notice the way Ryker hand twitched slightly. Just like at the cafe after graduation. I took a few deep breaths before the waiter came back with notepad in hand. 

“What can I get you two to drink for today?” He smiled, more directed towards me, which made me feel just the slightest bit better. Maybe it was just the people that came to eat here that made this place feel uncomfortable. 

“Two waters please.” Ryker answered for the both of us. The waiter walked off, then came back a few minutes later with someone in his hand and the other with a glass of water. A woman came and gave me my glass, giggling and whispering something to the other waiter. I was so confused by this place, but I guess that didn’t matter. Ryker wouldn’t take me to a place unless he thought it was good. Everything else he picks out is good too. The only places I know are in the human part of the city and I doubt he could go there. 

I sighed, taking a sip of the cold water. Soon enough, the group sitting behind us sat up and leave. Words could not describe how grateful I was. They seemed rude and I haven’t even met them yet. Not that I wanted to, but still. 

“You want something to eat? It’s okay if you’re not hungry.” Ryker’s voice had a slight sad tone to it. Almost like he thought I wasn’t enjoying this. That was dumb. Of course I’m loving this. I just didn’t exactly know how to express that to him. I don’t know how dates are supposed to go, I don’t know what to do while on one, heck, I didn’t even know if I was doing this entire thing right! 

“Um, maybe something light? Like a salad? I-I don’t know.” I stuttered, nervously laughing a bit. Ryker placed down the menu for a second and laid his head on his arms, his eyes worriedly looking over me. The butterflies in my stomach only grew worse. Was I doing something wrong? 

“You didn’t have to say yes if you didn’t want to come y’know. I would’ve understood.” Ryker explained, his voice soft as usual. Oh. He thought I didn’t want to be here in general. 

“What? I did want to come. I just don’t really know how this whole… D-date thing works,” I tried explaining, “I love being with you. How could I say no? I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do or say.” I fidgeted with my hands, hoping that he would get it. 

“So you’ve never been on a date before?” Ryker slightly picked his head up. I shook my head as a reply. I have no idea how this was news to him, but it just was. 

“Well, I’m glad that I could be your first then.” Ryker laughed. The blush that I had worked so hard to make disappear came back. I was kind of happy that he was my first date too if I’m being honest. I don’t even think I would have been here if I hadn’t met him. 

The waiter came back to take our orders, he came back with two salads and told us to call him if we needed anything. I couldn’t help but see the little giggly smirk on his face. I didn’t exactly care though. Nothing could go wrong at this point. 

——————

Ryker and I had talked for a while. Mostly joking around with each other and talking about this new show that we had started together about this family who was rich but had all of their money taken away by their accountant or something like that. We both like it though. 

A song came on from the little jukebox in the corner of the room, but there was no one in here but us and one other person. Weird. We didn’t really pay attention all that much. We both had finished eating but neither of us wanted to go just yet. 

“I’m still surprised you wore a sweater.” I laughed, knowing that he doesn’t really wear anything other than hoodies and the occasional zip-up. 

“Ah well, I know you like them.” His face flushed a light shade of pink. I found it nice to know that he notices these things. I think it’s kind of sweet if I were being honest. 

It was quiet for a while, only the soft, deep voice of the music playing in the background was sitting between us. The anxiety rising up in my chest didn’t help at all whatsoever. What do we do now? Were we ready to go? It was only just about to turn nine. Maybe we should actually start heading back. If Ryker stays up any later I would feel bad. He’s already exhausted enough. 

As if on cue, he had yawned, covering up his mouth with on of his hands, blinking a couple times before drowsily groaning. I worriedly stood up, walking a bit closer, “We-we can go home if you’re tired. I don’t mind.” I smiled, earning one back. 

“If you’re ready sure.” 

I felt sorry. I wish I could be the one taking him back home. Not the other way around. That’s how it should be really. There has to be someway I could help. 

——————

We were home in about thirty minutes or so. You could faintly hear the sound of Dylan’s tv through the wall to the living room, Jasmine was passed out on the couch, and I’m guessing she put Isabelle and Angela to sleep. Ryker yawned, placing a blanket over Jasmine before sliding me off in front of the human-sized rooms. 

“I’ll be back in about five minutes. Just going to change.” He pointed a finger to the restroom down the hall. I nodded, guessing that he wanted me to change into something more comfortable too. Gladly. I quickly changed to a loose t-shirt and some sweatpants and waited outside for Ryker, who eventually did come out wearing almost the exact same thing as I was. 

His room was as cold as always, the lamp on that dimly lit up the place. His desk was an unusual mess of papers spewed all across the surface. Probably for college. He laid down on his bed, Pulling the sheets over him and almost immediately his eyes were already closing. I chuckled, walking closer to him from where he had left me. 

“Tired?” 

“Mhm,” He wore a sad expression, “Sorry tonight wasn’t what you expected.” 

“No it was great! I loved it!” I quietly cheered. Ryker smiled, “That’s good.” 

The silence stretched out between us again. Then I did something stupid. Again. Like I always did. I walked a closer to his face, and kissed him. Yup. I’m the one who went first this time. What’s more surprising was the fact that his face turned red when I had quickly stepped back. I had thought I stepped over a line, or maybe he wouldn’t have even felt it, but no. He did. And I couldn’t help but laugh at how red his face was. 

He was frozen in shock for a while before fixing his position and hugging me against his cheek. Now we were both laughing quietly together. 

“Love you.” He whispered, letting me back down. My heart started beating faster. I wasn’t expecting that- It would only be right to say it back. 

“Love you too.” 

I could at least do this for him. 

——————

Ahhh I love when the first date is awkward at first. Cringe isn’t real it cant hurt me hehehe-

I’ll definitely be making more little one shots like this with these two later on. I do want to continue the story until I do officially end it, but otherwise, this will be how it is for now. Thank you guys again!

Taglist: @da3dm

(if you don’t want to be tagged on these please let me know TwT)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for ghosting 2 of my closet friends?

TL;DR: 2 of my closest/longest friendships ive had were ended by me stopping any and all communication, either unprompted or prompted. i dont feel any urge to talk with these people again, and i do not want to rekindle these friendships.

i (19ftm) have had only 2 friendships were i would consider the other person a "best friend". the first one was when i was in middle school (12-13). this other person, we'll call K(at the time 13F). now back in middle school i was what would be considered as the cool kids say: Cringe. super obsessed with undertale AND homestuck, a big 1-2 punch.

i met K through our homeroom class, and we really hit it off well. she was funny, great at art, and also loved undertale (she was the one who actually got me into homestuck, but thats besides the point). we hung out constantly, always chatting and swapping art tips, that sorta thing.

when i moved schools in 7th grade we became distance friends. not long distance bc we lived 30 min. away from each other, but we didn't get to see each other everyday anymore. eventually we started dating, but i didnt really feel content w the relationship at the time (i didnt know i was trans/gay yet lol).

one day i told her i was taking a break from social media/discord for a while until i sorted myself out, and then i would be back. i never spoke with her again after that and i felt like shit for years for ghosting my at the time girlfriend. i didnt take the break with the intention of ghosting K, it just kinda happened. she deleted her discord and i don't remember her tumblr so i have no way of communicating w her anymore. we knew each other for about 3-4 years, and dated for about half of that.

my other friend we'll call T(ftm). I met T my freshman year, when i was 14. T is 2 years older than me, so he was 16 at the time, a sophomore. T and i really hit it off well, and we hung out all the time after school, and talked over discord daily. he did a lot for me ill be honest, and helped me through an identity crisis when i realized i was trans and also gay.

however, when T graduated he started to drift away. i was still a junior at the time but we stayed in contact the best we could. i started driving so i would visit him in his apartment on weekends. however things really nose dived my senior year. i was 17-18 and all my friends had graduated, so i was already feeling pretty alone.

i kept trying to find comfort in T but he just kinda faded away. he found a new friend group of ppl closer to his age and they started hanging out more. i knew some of these people from our school, and was even friends w one of them, but for some reason he insisted on keeping me separate from them.

things boiled over when our mutual friend from this new friend group decided to throw a halloween party, but had to cancel last minute. time skip to november 1st and im picking up T to go rollerskating, and to my surprise he hops in my car out of breath and says "sorry it took so long, i was cleaning up after a halloween party!" and went on about this party he threw the night before with all his friends from the other group. T explained to me that he didn't invite me bc "i wouldn't know any of them".

i was pissed. really pissed. i stopped making plans to hang out with him, but to my surprise so did he. we stopped chatting daily, and the last time we spoke was april of last year. i sent him a final message in may trying to spark another conversation but he never replied. so i gave up. i stopped talking to him.

then i realized the pattern of me growing extremely close with someone only to ghost them. i know T basically ghosted me but i also stopped putting in the effort so i feel i still hold some of the blame. even when i last saw T in person i avoided him like the plague, and i just pray that if we do see each other again he does NOT recognize me.

What are these acronyms?

[reliablejoukido]

some Daikeru for the soul

okay here's the gist of it

Daisuke has been in love with Ken since middle school

Ken asks out Miyako in his 2nd year of high school (her 3rd year). They become a couple

When Daisuke finds out, he pretends to be supportive, but he stays late after school crying in an empty classroom

Takeru finds him and after a difficult conversation, discovers that Daisuke was in love with Ken, and that Daisuke is bisexual

Takeru is the only person who knows this. They become closer friends because of this

And learning about Daisuke's sexuality becomes a catalyst for Takeru's own discovery

Takeru spends their 2nd and 3rd years in high school trying to figure out his sexuality. He realizes he is generally attracted to men

Takeru tells Hikari. Hikari is super supportive and is the only person who knows about Takeru's sexuality, other than eventually Yamato, who is also supportive

They graduate, and a year or so goes by

The 02 squad have a picnic in the Digital World one day (they try to get together once per season) and Wallace is there too. Takeru notices that Daisuke is being kind of flirty? with Wallace? He's acting like has a huge crush on Wallace. This rubs Takeru the wrong way, because he has a feeling Daisuke is going to get his heart broken again

Sure enough, Wallace casually drops into conversation that he has a girlfriend (which is why he just can't flirt with Miyako and Hikari anymore)

Takeru watches the color drain from Daisuke's face, and Daisuke's entire peppy demeanor seems forced after that

A few days later, Takeru goes to a gay bar. He gets hit on by some men, but none of them are really his type (he has no idea what his type is, and he wants to find out).

To figure out what he wants in a partner, Takeru makes a Tinder profile. And... almost immediately finds Daisuke's profile. Daisuke's profile is sort of interesting-- he's got some sporty photos and some fun ramen chef photos and even some cute photos with V-mon. And his profile is entertaining and very "Daisuke".

Takeru swipes right on a whim, thinking that there's no way in hell Daisuke would ever swipe right on him. He doesn't even like Daisuke in that way. He just... wants to be a little chaotic and see what happens

A few days later, Takeru gets a notification that he has a match on Tinder. He's had a few dozen of these over the past few days, so he ignores it for about an hour

But THEN he gets a text from Daisuke like "WHAT GIVES???"

Takeru's like ?????

Daisuke: Why did you swipe right on my profile, dude!??

Takeru: The only way you could know that is if you swiped right on mine 👀

Daisuke: 😳

Takeru: 😂

Daisuke: Am I the only one taking this seriously?? Are you even like... you know... I mean you don't have to tell me, but...

Takeru: I'm gay, Daisuke. And your profile was fun. I wanted to see what would happen

Daisuke: Well what's happening is that your stupid fedora pics are now seared into my brain

Takeru: You CHOSE to swipe right, Daisuke

Daisuke: Whatever

Takeru: You wanna grab dinner or something?

Daisuke: I guess I MUST want to grab dinner 'cause I'm CLEARLY into you because I swiped right

Takeru: 🤔

Daisuke: Fine, let's grab dinner

They grab dinner

They talk about Takeru realizing his sexuality back in high school, to which Daisuke says he wishes he knew, because he could have used a queer friend back then. Takeru says it was kind of because of Daisuke that he started thinking about his sexuality. Daisuke has no idea what to do with this information

Takeru asks Daisuke to dinner again, just for fun, and Daisuke agrees. They go out a few more times, as friends, and nothing really changes between them (nothing that they notice anyway)

At one point, they go to that gay bar Takeru tried out earlier, but they never seem to want to talk to anyone but each other

Takeru doesn't know why he's doing this, other than that it's fun to spend time with Daisuke.

Then they have another quarterly picnic with the rest of the 02 gang

Takeru and Daisuke think they are being subtle/normal, but pretty much everyone notices them flirting

Hikari catches Takeru alone and says she's really glad to see Takeru so happy with Daisuke. Takeru's like ?????

Hikari's like... aren't you dating Daisuke? I'm sorry, but it's really obvious that you like him

Takeru has an epiphany that he does like Daisuke. Maybe he's liked him for weeks, maybe he's like him for years. The only thing he can think to do is surreptitiously text Daisuke while they're still at the picnic, asking him to come over after they all go home

Daisuke looks up from his phone, raises his eyebrows at Takeru, and then grins at him

Daisuke shows up later at Takeru's apartment and Takeru feels a magnetic attraction to him. Takeru immediately pushes him against the wall. Daisuke's like oh hell yeah, and they make out

Daisuke: Dunno what took you so long, man. I told you weeks ago that I was into you

Takeru: You did?

Daisuke: And they call me oblivious. I told you when we first matched on Tinder! I said... wait hold on lemme find the exact text... "I guess I MUST want to grab dinner 'cause I'm CLEARLY into you"

Takeru: That was you telling me you were attracted to me? I thought that was weird texting sarcasm!

Daisuke: Take it or leave it, man

Thank you for reading my weird Daikeru thoughts today

[succubus-interactivefiction]

Final Girl Blurb

Trans MC x Devon Low A possible scene that can happen if the MC is trans and on decent terms with Devon.

“What do you mean I know you from highschool? We never met before this job!” You snap as you spin on your heel towards Low.

“Of course you know me you stupid prick! We dated for three years and you dumped me to go to college across the country!!” What? Wait, WHAT?! Your eyes immediately begin scanning Devon’s face.

“I never dated…wait, JASON!?” Your jaw drops and you notice a few of your co-workers edging closer to the heated argument between you and your ex.

“It’s Devon now” She growls, her fists clenching at her sides and you immediately recognize the gesture, she is so close to simply slugging you. “Let’s take this somewhere else" she mumbles as she eyes your nosy co-workers. Grabbing your arm she drags you into an empty office and slams the door behind the two of you. “Now, stop acting like this is something bigger than it is,” she bites her lip as she looks you up and down, “I’m not the only one who’s changed. Who’d have thought we were both trans.”

That snaps you out of your thoughts and you close your mouth, readjusting your posture to your usual professional self. “Yeah, who would have thought,” you hesitate for a moment before you and Devon try speaking at the same time.

“You owe me...”

“I should tell you…”

You both stop and each fidget in your own way. A full minute goes by before she motions to you, “Will you at least tell me why you felt the need to break up? I just woke up one morning and you were already gone. I tried talking to your parents but they refused to even look at me, and none of our friends knew why you had just vanished overnight.”

“Oh, yeah, that…” You sigh and run a hand through your hair, your posture immediately slumping again. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I wanted you to come with me like we talked about and I was going to wait a year for you to graduate so we could go at the same time, but when dad found out…well he flipped. I was trying to explain that taking a year to decompress and evaluate life was a common way to go but at one point I accidently let slip that we were dating and that just made things worse…it took weeks for my black eye to heal.” Devon’s eyes widen and she takes a step closer. “He actually hit you? I never thought…”

“Yeah, turns out there was something that could tip him from always angry into rage. Turns out having a gay son was what did it, though, heh,” you shake your head as you chuckle, “Nope nevermind, guess I'm still gay. Anyway he gave me a warning, leave for college immediately without telling anyone and he and mom would still pay my way through school, or stay and become homeless with no job.” You slump against the desk behind you, picking up the nameplate and fiddling with it. “I took the coward's way out, and I regretted it for so long, still do in some ways  I guess. After I managed to shake off the fear I did try to call you but you had blocked me on everything and no one else would even talk to me or let you know what had happened.”

“Actually Kate did tell me that you had been trying to find me, but I was still SO pissed off. I still am if you couldn’t tell,” she leans against the desk next to you, “But at least now I understand. So thank you for that I guess. Hey, so can I ask when you realized…” she trails off.

“Realized I was a woman?” she nods, “Second year of college, I had just met my, uh,” you cough into your hand as you try to say ex to which Devon just rolls her eyes, “Smoooooth”

“Right, yeah so I had just met my ex and we were hanging out with some friends and one of her friends was trans and I started asking her some questions, you know just the usual cis curiosity questions, but her answers started to make more and more sense you know? I started to realize that a lot of her answers applied to me, to things I kept secret. It took months of research and talking to a few of the other transwomen around campus before it fully hit me. Took another year for me to accept it and tell anyone.”

“How’d your parents react? I can’t imagine it was good.” You can’t help but snicker.

“I never told them. I held out till graduation and as soon as it was all said and done I immediately cut them out of my life. No calls, no messages, I just changed my phone number, moved in with my ex, and changed my name. So I basically did to them what they forced me to do to you, I just cranked it up to eleven. Didn’t even bother to tell them about the graduation.”

“Wow, well they kinda deserved it huh?”

“Eeeeyup” You reply, popping the p at the end. “So when did you?”

“Another time Nancy, okay? We just dropped some major bombshells on each other and I need some time to absorb everything.” She stands back up and heads towards the door.

“Yeah, no problem Devon, another time.”

“For what it’s worth…it’s nice hearing you saying my name.”

“Ditto”

[patronsaintofteachercrushes]

10/7

Well, things have still been relatively quiet here. I’ve been getting closer with J, but I guess it’s just like a platonic thing ? Idk. I’ve never had a platonic crush on a teacher before so I’m not really sure what it is I’m feeling. I definitely don’t feel the way I felt about H or L towards J but it’s definitely not nothing either.

I’ve noticed things about J that are very cute, but cute like a puppy and not like wow I want to be your girlfriend cute. He has a small lisp and light freckles over his cheeks. I saw him out for a run on my way to work on Saturday too, which was cute. He was sweaty and out of breath and I admired him from my car but I didn’t feel how I might’ve should I have seen H instead. He laughs at my jokes and agrees with me and he calls on me in class even when I don’t raise my hand.

There’s another teacher, whom I don’t have but my friend does, that I am unfortunately very interested in. I had found him attractive last year, but I was obviously focusing my attention elsewhere and I never really tried to do anything. But over the last month, I have done a complete and intense background check on him. I’m a little ashamed to admit but I know more about him than his students probably do and I’ve only had a 2 minute at max interaction with him. I know where he went to college, where he went to high school, that his brother has a girlfriend and his sister is married, what kind of music he likes, that he was in a band at one point or another, where his brother graduated college from, the position he played in baseball and all the years he played in college, the city he was born in, and so on. I also know that he did educational work before becoming a teacher. So, more than I should. But he’s so sweet, he walks around school like he just won the lottery and he always has a pencil or pen behind his ear. He’s also 6’4, which is a staggering whole foot taller than I am. H was only a couple inches taller than me. I think I’ll call this new teacher W.

Besides this attraction to J and W, which is still no where need substantial yet, I’ve just been flirting with the old men at my work. There’s this one old man who rides a motorcycle and he’s never able to remember my name so the other day I wrote him a note to keep in his wallet with my name on it. Which felt more suggestive when I did it than it probably sounds. He likes to tell me stories of his late wife and tell me how I remind him of her. He orders a small drip coffee with half an inch of half & half. Sometimes though I let myself get a little out of hand and I can’t catch myself before I’m too late. I know that I look older than 17 and I definitely carry myself older than a senior in high school, so it’s never been too alarming to me when an older man makes a pass at me (even besides the fact that I don’t mind) but sometimes I forget that they don’t actually know my age and I flirt back. There was this one time where another man on a motorcycle came through and I almost got on his motorcycle for a ride before I realized that he wasn’t actually sure of who I was and neither was I sure of who he was. I guess I’ve just been so desperate for any stimulation in that regard that I just don’t think about the consequences of what could possibly happen to me. I don’t really care either way, but I guess it was just like “woah, what am I doing right now ?” You know ? Idk, I’m not sure if many of you guys on here are attracted to older men/women in general or just teachers.

Anyway, I’m still struggling majorly with my motivation. I almost kind of wish H was still looking at my grades constantly. And I mean, I’m still keeping my head above water, 2 B’s and 4 A’s but I just don’t even know how I’m doing it. I’m just like going through the motions. I never really thought about how hard it would be to stay motivated after H, I was so much more concerned with missing him than how beneficial my crush on him was to my academics. I was so scared of disappointing him, but I’m not scared of disappointing anyone now. I mean myself, sure, but gosh what do I care ? I live with myself 24/7, I don’t need to impress myself. I wanted to impress him, and that’s how I was able to maintain a 3.7 last year. Gosh, I’m just whining now aren’t I ? Whatever, I guess that’s kinda what this blog is for now. Shouting mindlessly into a void. It is a little therapeutic.

[misxmi]

Dislyte OC Lore 🤯🤯🤯

So y’all remember when I said in a different post that I was gonna do my the backstory of my Dislyte OC (Seleni)? Well my ass finally got motivation to do that. So let’s get in with that shit.

Seleni’s mother (Ayla) was always very harsh about her daughter’s hobbies, actions, etc. However, this hasn’t been a serious issue until when Seleni was in middle school. Ayla started forcing Seleni to join activities that she didn’t want to do. Because of this, Seleni started skipping those classes and joining other activities behind her mother’s back. As a result, Ayla started taking away her daughter’s things like her phone, art supplies, and laptop. Seleni was furious at what her mother was doing. 

When she decided to confront her mother about her actions and what she wanted to do, she was extremely upset and angry at her. Ayla, full of rage, started physically hitting her daughter, threatening her that she would no longer hang out with Leon, who was Seleni’s friend. Because of the this event, Seleni was upset and started become very anxious. Not only that, but she had also received a large scar in her right leg, as well as some bruise marks on her belly. However, this did not stop her from continuing what she loves the most. But, she was extremely secretive about that kind of stuff, for she didn’t want her mother to be physically abusive to her.

Years later, when Seleni was in her senior year of high school, she was having a heated argument with her mother, causing her to run away from her house. As she ran away, she was eventually attacked by a swarm of Miramon. When she thought her life has come to an end, she was blessed and was Eve given the power by the moon goddess, Selene. She then discovered that she is capable of making anyone fall asleep, as well as control their dreams. After dealing with the Miramon, she immediately ran to Leon’s house to explain all that had happened and everything her mother was doing to her. Leon was very upset and attempted to comfort Seleni as best as possible. He cooked her some warm chicken soup and some sliced red apples. Leon even let Seleni stay for the night.

Ayla later found her daughter at a mall. Being upset at her daughter,  Ayla threatened Seleni that she would have to “take Leon away from her” if she doesn’t come back home. Seleni, who was anxious, ran away from her mother. Every night since then, Leon and Seleni have received letters containing threats to both Espers. Because of that, Seleni started becoming wrathful and wanted her mother to suffer a never-ending nightmare. She became more psychotic and oppressive of seeing her mother in despair. However, she kept that to herself, away from everyone.

After Seleni graduated from high school and bought her own home, she heard about the Shadow Decree and found out that Leon was a part of it. She later realized that with the help of the Shadow Decree, she will be closer to seeing her mother suffer. 

When she joined the Shadow Decree, Leon was surprised to see her friend in the same room as he was. She greeted him happily, which Leon was surprised because of how depressed she was when she was living with Leon. At her time there, she eventually got to know some of the members. Some members she likes to annoy are Leon himself, Jacob, Tang Yun, Freddy, Long Mian, and, in some occasions, Hyde too.

So in conclusion, Seleni’s mother is basically Mafuyu’s mom from pjsk (this ugly ass lady down here)

Hope y’all like the backstory I gave her. Will post how some of the Shadow Decree members found out and reacted to what Seleni’s mom did to her later.

[evewasheretoday]

This idea has been rotting in the back of my head for a few days now— BUT Veronica swapping places with J.D?!

Like after Veronica graduates high school, she meets up with the gang (Betty Finn, Martha and Mac -Duke, cause she's busy elsewhere) and after she finishes, she gets hit by a truck on her way home then BOOM! She's back in the past but things are a little different.

1.) JD is nowhere to be found.

2.) Her mom has somehow been dead for a few years now, her dad and her just recently moved into Sherwood.

3.) And apparently, she's the new kid at Westerberg High now.

Since Veronica was given this wonderful terrible chance of time-travel (sorta), she decides to do the usual. Fix the past and get rid of your mistakes! But oh boy, she doesn't know of the consequences of doing that.

At lunch, Kurt & Ram pick on Veronica. She fights with them and after that, she catches Duke looking at her. Amused at the green Heather actually paying attention to her, she shoots her with a smile (that oddly enough got turned into a smirk or a wolfosh grin) before she gets taken away by the teachers and is talked to by them.

Duke blushes faintly at what Veronica did, Chandler catching this, teases her. Mac joining in, not even a few seconds after. Basically, Veronica (from the movies with a mix of the musicals) takes JD's place while Duke takes her.

Veronica approaches Duke and tries being buddy ol' pal with her (which was surprisingly successful). Ever since this happened, Veronica and Duke grew closer before Veronica eventually decided to befriend Mac and they become close too (the closeness the Heathers and Veronica have with each other are different individually).

Chandler takes notice of this and is like “The hell? Who's this blue obsessed girl trying to get with my girls?” before she gets her defenses up, tries every and any way she can to antagonize Veronica but the brunette is completely unaffected by it. Mac finds out, tells Duke about it and scolds Chandler. They get into a fight, Mac distances herself from Chandler while Duke stays with her because she doesn't have the guts like Mac does.

Mac and Veronica grow closer than before while Duke and Chandler are left to each other. They bond too but it ends up with angst so— After Chandler keeps blowing off her emotions at Duke, Duke finally has enough of it and does the same Mac did. Chandler is left lonely before Veronica stumbles in her life and is like “Hey, I know you hate me but I thought you could use some company” then they become friends. Chandler apologizes for the stuff she did to Veronica and then the romantic stuff comes! Duke realizes she might like Veronica more than she thinks she should. Mac realizes she's got this crush on Veronica while Chandler is feeling some things for Veronica but she doesn't know what they are. All the while, Veronica is completely oblivious and dense about it.

[regulusarcturusblvck]

Chapter One

REGULUS’ POV

Another argument between James Potter and Severus Snape, of course, led us all to the bathroom. I'd only followed to monitor my brother, Sirius, who now stands in the middle of all of us. I stay on the sidelines. Barty Crouch Jr blocks the door, but he doesn't do a good job. Unfortunately, none of us realized how terrible of a job he was doing until a girl catches our attention, barging her way into our affairs.

"Where is he?!" We hear the girl yell, causing Barty to spin around.

"Never you mind-" Barty tries, but fails.

She shoves her way past him and marches in, I normally wouldn't think twice, except that she's now in the boys room. I know exactly who she is, Nyx Crowley, the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She's the princess of Slytherin, and cunning enough to destroy the entire world. Ive heard horrid stories of her family, and all rumors lead to a dreadful accusation that she may be more vile than the dark lord himself. A monster, the public calls her, along with every other Crowley. Her elder brother attended Hogwarts, but he never graduated, joining the dark arts instead...just like their father. I would ask her personally, but I've never spoke to her, though we've both been in House Slytherin since first year, ironically we arrived the same year. She keeps an odd assortment of friends, refusing to be linked to too many purebloods, I assume to rebel against her own bloodline. She is however known to mock anyone that isn't a pureblood, contradicting herself. She usually remains quiet and reserved, though now is a different story.

"Hey, you can't be in here" Barty argues with her.

"Shut up!" She spits, marching her way to us. She shoves James backwards and pushes Severus behind her, staring up at James. "Are you all right, Severus?" She questions, not being bothered to look at him.

"Listen here, little girl-" James began.

"No you listen, Pottah!" She spits, emphasizing the P. "The best thing you can do is grab your books and return to class"

"You really need a little girl defending you?" He smirks at Severus.

"Don't speak to him" she demands, earning James's attention. "This is now between you and me. Severus, go to class"

"I can't just leave you in here alone with them" he worries. "You're outnumbered"

"Oh, it's them you should worry about. Go on"

"My wand, he has my wand"

"I'll retrieve that"

"As you wish" he sighs, reluctantly leaving. He gave Sirius a look, and Sirius gave him a subtle nod, I assume to let him know she'll be all right. The moment he left, she swings at James, but Barty grips her arms and holds her back. I feel my body tense in concern for her.

"Listen to me-" James begins.

"Did I say you could speak?" She scoffs at him, tugging at her arms. "Now I understand it's hard for you to see someone actually capable of using talent for achieving all that was handed to you, and you're scared because he's better than you, but how dare you stoop so low as to pick on someone"

"Me stoop low? That's rich, coming from a Crowley. Did you think we'd forget what your traitor brother did?"

"He's still better than you"

"He burned half this school"

"At least he didn't torture innocent students daily"

"Stop meddling in our business"

"The next time you go after him, I'll bloody your nose. Understand?"

"Why don't you do it now then? Unless your scared"

"A Crowley scared of some filthy little Potter?! Don't be so stupid"

"You can't fight a girl" Sirius says. "Leave it be"

"No, she's so brave, let her do something"

"You don't want me to do something" she stares at him.

"Let her go, let's all move on before something happens that we can't repair" Sirius tries. Barty agrees, letting go of her arms.

"Wait until Lily hears about this" she spits.

She starts to walk away when James grips her wrist, jerking her back to him. I step closer, refusing to let him fight her. She shoves him back, but he grips her collar and pulls her closer. I grip his wrist, placing a hand on her back in case he shoves her.

"Let her go" I stare.

"Regulus-" he began.

"I said to remove your hand from her" I demand.

He stares at me for a moment before letting her go. I let go of him and wrap my arm around her to walk her out. The moment we reached the corridor, she rips herself from my touch.

"The next time your hands find their way to me, will be the very last time that you have hands. Is that clear?" She snarls at me.

"Very" I sigh, clearly she isn't one for contact.

"Good" she nods.

"I'm Reg-"

"Regulus Black, we all know all about you and your filthy family history. I'd delve into the insults I could spew solely off your family legacy, but it's too much for me to tell in a single day"

"And you are Nyx Crowley. Your beautiful family history of thievery, sly tricks and dark magic is far worse than the tales of my house"

"Messe" she nods.

"So, James can't bully people but you can?"

"You're whole little crew deserves it. Severus doesn't...well, at least not from him"

"How is that fair?"

"Because at least I mock them for being mudbloods, not because of some little crush. It's pathetic and a total embarrassment"

"Do you know the entire story?"

"I'm walking away now"

"I take that as a no?"

"Do you know the entire story, Black? I didn't think so"

"Well it's been lovely" I sighed sarcastically.

"Don't lie to me" she teases, walking away from me.

"There you are" Sirius says, walking out and placing a hand on my shoulder. "You okay?"

"Grand" I nod, looking at him.

"Did she say something to you?"

"Nothing bad"

"Watch her, you remember what her brother did"

"Doesn't mean she will"

"Don't defend her, you don't know her"

"Don't judge her, you don't know her"

"Regulus-"

"I've got to get to potions class, I'll see you later" I say, walking away.

I'm extremely late for class, and I can only pray it would be an easy class today.

Only potions class wouldn't be any easier than dealing with that whole fiasco.

[dashflashy-arts]

HA! you thought I forgot to continue telling their backstories now, did ya? you are correct

A-anyways... Here's the backstory of my Boomer! warning tho, it's a bit gross bc food is involved...

Backstory + Info Dump under the cut:

Bobby Maloney was raised by a single mother and lived most of his life having her as the only biological family he has known. Though her mother has several temporary jobs, she always found time to show love and affection towards her son. They mainly bonded from cooking and repairing stuff that wore down their house. They didn't have much, but they were both happy... well, most of the time.

He wasn't a perfect student, but teachers liked him nonetheless. This did not stop him from getting bullied though. Due to his likability, along with his timidness and chubby physique, he became a constant target for it. The taller or higher-level bullies would call him names and take his things then break them in worst cases. He hid these from his mother, thinking that it'll only add to her hardship. If only he knew things were about to take an unexpecting turn...

Bobby was heading home when he was suddenly surrounded by the same bullies that tormented him all day. They were mocking him, taking his bag, and throwing the stuff on the ground, and eventually, they started pushing him. Unexpectedly, a smaller hooded kid approached them and intervened. Before he knew it, one of the bullies is lying on the ground with a bleeding nose.

Things were heating up when a teacher found them. He and the kid went to detention (because the teacher who caught them thought they were the ones who started it). The two talked to each other during that time, later dragging Samuel into their conversation. Needless to say, it was the most pleasant time they’ve had while being punished

They became friends, then stayed friends all throughout life. He was protected by them, and in turn, Bobby served as the voice of reason in the group, teaching them some lessons they don't understand and doing his best to keep them out of trouble. It worked... most of the time.

After graduation, Bobby applied for college. He had to move to the city in order to be closer to the school. Bobby lived in some cruddy affordable apartment. Not before long, his friends joined him in the apartment and they became roomies! They helped with paying the bills and keeping the apartment neat.

As means of payment for his bills and providing support to his mom, Bobby worked part-time as a bartender/chef for a bar & resto. that was near his apartment. He didn't like working there, but he really didn't want to look for a new job. Plus the job's schedule fits neatly with his college's schedule.

Bobby studied in the morning, then dreadfully worked at night. He hoped he'd be able to keep this up until he graduates.

...That didn't happen.

Instead, the apocalypse occurred.

He was working when one of the undead barged in and caused havoc. He, some staff, and other customers that survived managed to lock themselves in the kitchen and save themselves. They stayed there, hoping they will be saved, and ignoring the grunts from outside.

As they waited, they did their best to maintain the food they have. They only ate once a day, even when the food tasted worse as each day passed. But rather than surviving, they were getting sicker, swelling even. It didn't take too long for them to realize that the food was actually contaminated. This explained why they were all swelling.

In a panic, one of the people there hysterically attempted to leave, attacking anyone that tried to stop him. As soon as the door was opened, zombies started swarming in. Bobby hid behind a closet, and managed to evade the attack, but heard so many screams and growls.

Soon everything went silent. Bobby was sick, alone, and afraid. His phone had been dead since the beginning of the infection, so he has no one to call. And he was too afraid to check what lies outside the closet.

He felt like vomiting.

———————————————————————–

Other Info about him:

He was 25 years old when he died

Though his mother has several temporary jobs, she always finds time to show love and affection toward him

As written in his backstory, he helped his mom out a lot in the house, it's their way of bonding. They bond the most through cooking

Unlike Sme and Hans, Bobby can cook

He cooked for them both because if he doesn't they'll make the unhealthiest and inedible food of all time

He grew up to be a HUNK. He's still kinda chubby tho! He's also taller than both Samuel and Hansel

He became confident over the years! He's no longer a timid boy, but still a sweetie

He still thinks he's unattractive. Unbeknownst to him, some of his peers have a crush on him

He took Hospitality Management as his college course

I have a headcanon that zombies (both normal and infected) are no longer conscious. But if they were, he'd be exhausted™, a bit anxious but still (in a way) a sweetie

That's all for him!

[fatimaah]

I'm exhausted. I'm just exhausted. So so exhausted.

These days when I come home from school, have lunch and finally have free time I just wanna cry. It's either the school that makes me wanna cry or seeing my parents both super tired those days or seeing my grandma not being so healthy or seeing my cousins depressed and stressed or not having any desire to eat and loosing my kg again or not being able to even watch a silly show because I'm too tired of everything or all of it all at once....

Or realizing that yeah I love my friends and classmates but honestly my hate for school wins and tho some people seen sad abt graduation....the closer it comes the more I realized that I'm too tired of school to be sad to leave it. I will miss my friends but this day was inevitable. That's why I just want it all to end.

I just need summer. I just need my dad being funny and outgoing again instead of coming stressed from work with bags under his eyes, I just need my mom being supportive of everyone again instead of putting a lot of housework on me because she's no longer a housewife and she's making money now. I just want to get away. Somewhere far, all alone, have a rest from everyone and everything somewhere in Malaysian beach where I don't need to worry about exams or stupid MUNs that aren't even interesting or useful.

I just really need to be sure that my future self will be happy with her life. That she will truly fall in love and marry someone. That she will have a job that she enjoys or be a stay at home wife that's having fun at home and going on walks with her lover late summer nights.

I don't need money or anything. Just a lovable person, a cat, a cute little house, meaningful conversations, friends, being able to create art everyday, seeing my loved ones happy and being sure my kids love their motha.

I need happiness. Back, I want it back

I need to do my Arabic and then my housework and then find some more info for stupid MUN (ew why did we even agree to take a part in this shit? It was boring today and I didn't like my own speech and zr even bullied kmll)

Also today's stupid lineyka was super annoying. I hate being a hater but oh how I hate A LOT OF people from our school. Not gonna miss those bitches. Only three teachers and six girls. Other can disappear I won't even care if we never meet again. So tired of all of them. Especially the principal. Hate her.

Damn why does this week suck sooo much I wish my parents didn't need me at home and I could stay more after lessons with my friends to play volleyball or go out for lunch or something. I wish I didn't have so much on me, making lunch for my grandma and dad and mom cuz now she's also nOt kEepiNg uP wiTh tHe hOuSewOrk sO I ShoUld heLp cuz My broTherS arE disAbled . Helping my sister to have a fucking childhood cuz I hate seeing her kinda depressed at nine. What even is that I'm so worried about her mental health.

The way my brothers are living like literal pigs is making me SICK. She never sees them like this LIKE HELLO MOM IT'S NOT ONLY ME WHO'S SEVENTEEN? u don't need to be a girl to be able to live like a human. so annoying all of them everyone can I die already

edit: frz wants to do a no-backpack day, lol. I mean oookay guuurl that's a progress, at least something fun

alriiight it's almost time for sleep and I'm fine I just forgot my problems and everything is gonna be ✨great✨

can I have a really cool dream with interesting plot twists PLEASE

May 16, 2024

[listentoourheart]

Just ran into an old, pre-pandemic friend.

Just ran into an old, pre-pandemic friend. We met each other first year of college and sort of danced around becoming closer friends (she seemed like a really sweet and awesome person, of course I wanted to be friends!) but college busyness and the pandemic got in the way.

Anyway, I never reached out after returning on campus. There's a lot of reasons. I was busy with classes. There was always another paper. I was exhausted all the time from the fatigue from COVID. I didn't know who was still open to being friendly. Lots of reasons.

I thought she had graduated and left campus by now, but I just ran into her at a drinks shop! Lots of updates! She's getting a higher degree, has a cute relationship, has a new pet (ish), and is moving to my home city in the summer!

I am so so so happy for her. She's honestly the sweetest and I wish her the best. But there's a part of me that...is envious I suppose. I thought that was the life I would have after college. High on life, a close circle of life-long friends with common interests, found an SO, passionate about what I was studying/planning as a career. Maybe law school.

Instead I have friends who have other interests (no one enjoys museums and board games like I do--I love them, but I do not care about the newest iteration of whatever reality TV show they are watching and video games are not my idea of a good time) that I struggle to stay in contact with, the most hilarious encounters with my ex-bf, chronic fatigue that makes it hard to keep up with my classes, and a burgeoning realization that I am absolutely fucking up my college experience and have absolutely no chance of getting another degree. I think I spend more time exhausted and chasing after homework than I do actually enjoying life.

(And let's be honest, seeing her again helped me remember why I adored her so much in the first place. I'm pissed we were in the same city for two years and I did not think of reaching out. Hello self! Should've sent a "hey we should meet up" text approximately 600 days ago.

Anyway I guess this is a culmination of "frustration that I am often too exhausted to have made my life what I want it to be" and "gosh I missed out on having a good friend."

For the first, I just really wish this fatigue would go away and go back to normal. And I have one more year and I better make it count. For the second, she'll be in my home city so maybe I can meet her over the summer. I really suck.