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moonlit-imagines · 4 years ago

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Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

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alijaymtz · 3 years ago

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Its been years since ive been here, it seems like this is the only place where i feel irrelevant and disconected from the real world.

A lot has changed since I last wrote how I felt.

I moved, began college, and live with my father.

Ive said it before but there is no person I hate more than that man, he does things and then forgets the damage he caused but instead he knows how to guilt trip others.

Im currently studying psychology, and through the study of it ive been able to categorize my father with borderline personality disorder. I doubt he’ll ever know nor will i ever tell him.

I’ve learned to mask myself, my depression, my anger, my personality, when im home with him. Everything disapoints him. There are times that he forgets telling me to tell something to other people and then I am left in a negative place. “But you told me to tell them” ...”I never said that, IN MY LIFE IVE NEVER SAID THAT” ...

Its been two days since ive told him im styuduing to become a psychologist, today, while driving home from the gym, he asks me if I have some type of mental disorder in a joking way. I tell him “yeah, I am bipolar.” but according to several tests we’ve been reviewing in class. “yeah that makes sense” he says “I noticed since you left me when you were young”.

When I was a child my father used to abuse my mother, hes done several crazy and traumatizing things, he broke her ribs, punched her, kicked her on the ground, for small things like burnt food or her complaining he returned home at 2 am. Back then my mother, who I think was brave, decided it was no longer safe to live with my dad because he began beating my older brother just as much as he beat my mom.

She picked a bag, dumped in mostly my clothing and my brothers, and we headed straight to the police. Unfortunetly, they were unable to help us. So we went to the embasy, and they sent us to a shelter for women. Over the next few years I lived in shelter homes, foster homes, but safe. At one point I lived without my brother and mother but was happy, and safe.

My mother was sent by court to return to Mexico, so we packed up and came with her. My dad staying behind “as the bread winner” or whatever. We lived in a small one bedroom with no beds or other furniture but we were happy... Untill my dad came. For a while he seemed content, unbothered, but a few months later he returned to his demonic state.

He would not only hit my mother to the pulp, my brother, now he did it to me too. He began to fear we were becoming Mexican and began to teach us the muslim way. Through the dicipline in his feet, he’d kick us untill out noses bleed then a few minutes later kiss our cheeks and talk to us kindly about our mistakes. As a child, my mother spoke spanish, my father english. Now i was introduced Urdu, Arabic, and was expected to learn whole texts and prayers in minutes.

It was always like that, yell, hit, kissing cheeks. Sometimes he would break things in between.

When i turned 17, my father had left for the first time in years to his homeland in Pakistan. He was gone for 3 months and during that time my brother, mother, and I sat almost every night planning how we could disapear because no matter what we did or how we did it, he’d always find us.

My mother had gotten surgery while my dad was away, we spent a long time with her in the hospital. We had days were we wouldnt eat, sleep, or do anything other than sit. But we were happy.

One time, before he left, He cut my mother with a knife ,In my room while I saw him stab her. I didnt want that to ever happen again. Another time, my father was mad my mom brought up him bringing a nehibor lady into the house while we were in school and she was working, but somehow he flipped it into “Jelousy” because there is no other reason why a wife would say something about it...He was so mad he beat my mother after her chemo. For weeks she couldnt move, she was in my room with the lights off and bearly eating because he wouldnt let us take her any food. But we could hear her moan in pain. Another time, he beat my brother into the street, the whole neiborhood came out to see. He dragged my brother into the stone floors and picked up a rock about my brothers head size. I swore I saw him die. I was pulled into a house by a lady and her daughters tried to calm me down as I couldnt breath. I prayed he was alive.

A few hours passed and my father was looking for me, he knocked on every door. I sneaked out and returned home.

So, the point to this is the following. When my dad returned from Pakistan, i closed the doors and made no sound. He couldnt come in. He would just leave after a while. He knew we were inside. I felt my breath becoming loud. He could hear. He left.

For the next few days he would come and talk to my mom, who said “the kids don’t want you in” followed my “I brought gifts”. My mother who was still walking with a cane, felt pitty for her husband, who had been sleeping in a motel for days. So, she let him in “for a few hours”. Feeling the room shrink i sent a help messege to a cousin of mine whom told her mom. In a matter of minutes a car popped infront of the house with three aunts and one cousin, they demanded I go with them.

Without looking at my brother, I saved myself. For two months I lived with my aunt and her 4 kids. I cleaned and she would tip me in order to help me pay for psychiatic help (she also paid it). One day my mom showed up and told me she would do anything for me to return, i never asked how bad things were in those two months for them. I made a list asking her to go to therapy with me, for him to not look at me or say a word. I went back. He was calm a whole year, not one word was said to me. I didnt leave my room and I swear my skin went from olive to pale yellow skin for the time I spent in there.

So today, he said “I noticed since you left me when you were young”...”Because a normal person wouldnt do that”.

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40-lbs-lighter · 3 years ago

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i remember playing dolls w him and we got into an argument because he wanted to be the princess and i wanted to be the princess but there was only one princess doll and i got mad and went home

right after i got my second vaccine my body hurt so fucking bad i couldnt stand it and he held me while i was sobbing because of how bad i hurt and i went home at 3 am because of it

he stayed the night at my house and fell off the top bunk and broke his collarbone and had to leave my house because he was at the hospital and then he went home

the only time i ever stayed the night with him at his grandmas house we slept on the top bunk because the bottom bunk was full of his sisters stuff and his grandma played classical music for us to fall asleep “what kinda music is this??” “Its classical music i sleep to it every night” “ive never heard it my mom listens to loud music all the time”

we were on the phone once maybe 4 or 5 yrs ago and i hung up because i was like “i have to pee ill call you right back because peeing on the phone is weird” “okay” & when i called back “sorry i think peeing on the phone is weird bc i dont like ppl listening to me” “oh okay!”

his parents fought while we hid and played barbies and he had a little food collection that we played with

“genin lewis, im pregnant and its yours” “oh god here take some meth”

we had a mini photoshoot at my school right when covid started one morning at like 6 am

i always called him when i was high and feeling suicidal and he would talk to me but i would never tell him i was upset because i didnt wanna be a burden so i just called and cried

all that, 8 years, and for what?? “Ever since i got back with (guy) i dont care ab you anymore” ?? nobody will ever replace him & we were so toxic to each other to the point where we were encouraging each others eds and sh at one point, but tonight i lay in bed for 2 hours straight sobbing and screaming because everything is gone now. I wish i cherished the time i had with him a little longer. i wish i never went home all those times. I wish i texted him more, and i wish i never said those stupid things about his boyfriend because thats the whole reason we arent friends. “oh its fine youll stop talking for a couple months and then youll be friends again” is what my mom said but idk with 2 teenagers as stubborn as us, we might go our whole lives without talking again because “im not texting first, they should” i cant stop thinking ab him in class and in the store and everything is collapsing and im losing control and its so exhausting to even shower at this point because usually i would text him every little dumb thought i think and he would go along with it but now i have nobody to text my stupid thoughts and my feelings to, and he would do the same. I just hope hes happy now that i blocked him and deleted his number, yk? idk

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theforce · 5 years ago

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presumptive horrible rotten case of corona: symptoms

presumptive bc i couldnt get a god damn test i live in new york and while there are testing sites all over the state and our state govt is doing what they can now, i don’t want to be the person taking away a test from someone else especially now that i am mostly better, most of this went down at the beginning of the month and i’m still dealing with the effects of it.

there was a lot of confusion here even as recent as 2 weeks and we are the state that’s testing more than the rest of the entire country so here is my account of what went down w me, and honestly, what might go down with you or someone you know as soon as this reaches your state

1) i threw up all night long, thought it was a stomach virus, had a lot of stomach issues for like 24 hours, very strange i haven’t had a stomach virus in YEARS since i was a literal child, anyways right before i started puking up my life i developed this weird cough, it felt like it was from my throat, like i was trying to clear it? but it was often and annoying

2) after my 24 hours of hell i felt feverish and exhausted but i chalked it up to being on the floor of the bathroom all night, exerting my esophagus and body to throw up the devil himself, i tried to sleep it off, i woke up a few hours later in a fog, i was shivering but i was also burning up, i couldn’t tell left from right, up from down, my fever was 100.3, at this point i had my mom call my doctor and make an appointment, she made it for me w the receptionist, everything was fine until 20 minutes later i got a call back from my actual doctor not the receptionist who was like, oh no not you’re not coming here with those symptoms baby and i was like ?? ok cool thanks, she said to keep watching my symptoms, slam some tylenol and if i felt shortness of breath to call or text her personal cell phone and she would get me set up at the nearest hospital i said ok sounds fucked up i mean i didn’t say that bc i was too fucked up to even speak, she also gave my mom instructions to keep me in my room, to not go near me, to give me a designated bathroom, to have food and water delivered to my door, my mom was like u dont gotta tell me twice (she has lupus) during this time my cough become dry and horrible, i could feel my lungs rattle, i would cough so hard and for so long i’d wake from my feverish coma to kneel over my bed and just let loose on the world, it felt like i was drowning, i couldn’t get enough air everything hurt, everything was sore

3) things continued on like this for 5 straight days, i was literally in and out of consciousness, my fever got up to 102 and my mom said that if it raised at all from there we were going to the fuckin hospital and i was like listen la rona i know u wanna take me out but i havent even ever eaten a krispy kreme donut, please let me survive this i can’t leave this way, in that moment i literally had a fever dream of god herself, i said take this from me and i’ll stop being such a cunt in life. i started slamming hot toddy’s, i’d drink as much water as possible in between the time i wasnt literally trying to expel my lungs by way of my mouth

4) woke up from that whole ordeal drenched in SWEAT from my feet to my head i was soaked, it was gross, at that point i still had a sense of smell so let me tell you my last and final symptom should have kicked in a bit earlier but i checked my temp and it was normal! i didn’t feel like my head was going to explode! but i had new things going on i had a new stuffy/runny nose, my cough was producing some liquid which i proceeded to throw up into a mcdonalds cup i took a shower, i brushed my teeth, i felt like a brand new woman, i had cold like symptoms but i can live with cold like symptoms, i had an appetite for the first time in a week, felt like i could eat my whole family out of house and home given the opportunity, i’d lost 20 pounds in less than 2 weeks and ya girl was honestly, looking good but THAT’S A BAD WAY OF THINKING disregard please thank you, at this point i went into my doctor with a full on mask, gloves, hair pulled back, she gave me every test you can think of, most importantly a flu test which is all she could do since getting a test was impossible at this pint, which of course came back negative

5) things continued like this for weeks, up until right now actually, exhaustion was gone, fever gone, cough still here and there but not like how it was, i’ve put on makeup in my room, i’ve watched every season of law and order svu, i’ve gone on drives in my car just to drive, i’ve tried to keep myself as busy as possible, 3 days ago the strangest, most inexplicable and hopefully last symptom arrived, a complete loss of smell and bc of that taste, i’ve tried smelling candles, essential oils, laundry detergent, canned meat, my brother lit a match with my back turned and asked me what the smell was, i ate extra hot cheetos, raw onions, shot of vinegar, there’s nothing there, i just hope it comes back

during this time i haven’t been even close to my mother, who has lupus or my sister, who has asthma, i stayed in my room, i’m still in my room actually 14 full days out from the last time i left the house, one month since this whole thing started, i eat in my room, i use a different bathroom than my whole family, everyone talks to me from my door frame besides my little brother who also was sick but recovered super fast, he bleaches the bathroom after i use it, he puts all my food on single use plates, he brings me jugs of water and reminds me of what it’s like to at least talk to another person.

on a more serious note, i haven’t touched another person in 20 days nobody has even been within 6 feet of me besides my doctor who was administering the only tests she could administer, fully decked out in a hazmat suit, she was scared for me, i could tell, she was trying to put on a brave face and downplay the severity of my symptoms but thank god for her, she’s checked up on me, she’s tried everything, she’s put in calls, she’s made herself as available as possible even though she’s probably going through the same thing with countless other patients, i worry for her, i’ve worried for my family, i’ve stressed beyond the point of no return which has for sure slowed my recovery and i was one of the lucky ones! all of this and my case was considered mild because i never really had trouble breathing beyond being choked by my own coughing.

people have been there for me during all of this, in ways that are further reaching than touch, i have been very vocal about not liking when people touch me but i do look forward to the day i can hug my mom, where i can tell my friend to take a sip of my drink to see if she likes it, to have someone pat me on the shoulder and tell me to keep my head up or whatever

hopefully im on the other side of this, my more at risk family members are about to be 14 days from the last time any of them were near me or my brother, they’re at the end of a long tunnel and i’m just so happy that maybe soon we’ll all see the light

take care of yourselves

#tw for like puke and losing weight and just overall grossness

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strawberryspeachy · 4 years ago

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So on the last day of july i went clubbing

Almost immediately met a cute boy and he asked me to go to a hotel with him. I debated but ultimately went with him. He asked if i wanted to go on a date because fucking japanese assholes equate date with hotel.

Went. Hooked up. Then. He said he wanted to go back to the club because otherwise “it would be a waste of his night”

Yeah

So... went back.... watched him look for another girl. And felt like shit

Eventually a boy that was ok looking talked to me. I didnt ignore him and he got excited over me talking to him after having ignored other boys. I didnt intend to continue talking to him but he was so excited the entire time and was nice so i just stayed with him.

We left together and sat on some sidewalk and talked. I saw that both his arms had cut marks all over them

And as a fucked up person... i stupidly think that other fucked up people will be as empathetic as i try to be and my depressed friends back home

He told me some of his shitty homelife - apparently he doesnt have parents

He asked me to go to a hotel with him and i said no... so we went to eat instead...

He kept being overly nice (in words) told me that he works at an old folks home and that he wants to learn english and come to america and help me take care of my mom.... in a sudden way

Rationally im not stupid and know that was a line. But im pretty stupid in general

He kept asking me to be his gf and i told him id need to go on a date with him to decide that

I just wanted to say no but...

He didnt pay for my meal - ya im one of those girls that that bothers

We seperated and he continued to text my the next few days. We set up a date. He asked me to go to him in yokohama - an hour away from tokyo

Since id never been there i said yes. But this meant i had to pay an expensive train ticket

He did pay for dinner and afterwards convience store for me... mostly... asking if i had change

He wanted to drink at the pier and insisted i get a drink but didnt pay for it

And then took me back to his apartment

It ended up being fun

The next morning while he was showering i was just poking around at his stuff. Not actually looking for anything just curious about the things he has

I looked at his wallet (honestly to see the design but i also always wonder why japanese guys are so comfortable leaving money around who is generally a stranger)

And then. I found. Picture from a photobooth. Him amd soem girl. It was dated from a week before.

He told me the night we met that he broke up with his ex a year ago. But this picture looked very much like a couple

I asked him about it and he just said sorry and threw it in the trash (not a real trash. It could easily be taken out) he said it was from a year ago

After. Bit i took it out amd pointed at the date. He literally hummed and refused to comment ...but he told me hell only see me...

I shouldn’t take that as enough but i did and told him when i got home that ill only se him too. I told him i liked him - and to this point he kept saying he likes me over and over. He has not said it since this. Just said he was happy that i used his name.

After that i went to okinawa for a few days. He told me his sim card broke and he doesnt have wifi unless he goes to a convience store (as an excuse to text slow)

I got back the next week and stayed home all week from a yeast infection that i think he gave me. When he barely responded i told him that

Then he responded continuously telling me that i just got it on my own and hes healthy so it wasnt him

That weekend i went drinking with some friends and messaged him. He responded immediately and i called him. Asking when his phone got fixed. He told me the day before

Then he told me he has pink eye and sent a picture. He said he cant go out of his house because of it

The next week was my birthday. He said hed be cured the day after and we could celebrate. Then he cancelled saying the doc told him hes still contagious

A few days after he sent me a picture of him with makeup on and contacts in saying he went to the salan. I responded immediately asking if he was still contagious and tried to call. He ignored me

I tried to call more throughout the day

Nothing

Over 24 hours pased so i used another account to say hi to him. After 2 hours he responded to the fake account asking who it was

And i flipped the fuck out. I told him a bunch of reasons why he sucked and that he did and fuck him

Then he responded to me with long messages. Many of which i couldnt understand (hes used incorrect kanji before that which makes translation strained)

His excuse was that he felt sick and slept for 20 hours (but he ignored me for over 27)and that he wanted to answer his texts in order. That he doesnt look at him phone much and then got mad at me for not being worried about him and instead getting mad

He didnt addresss any of my complaints like the fact that if im his gf i should be a priority

But because im a sucked i felt bad for trying to hurt him and apologized.... he said hed forgive me if i buy him an accessory next time we hung out...

Yeah. Red flags. I too if i had other options... would have said. Thats a weird way to accept an apology.

Also before (on that first date) when we talked about our bdays cause his was a bit before mine. I asked him what hed wanna do as a late celebration. He immediately told me he wanted yakiniku (an expensive meat meal) and clothes or accessorys from an expensive brand he likes...

So he continued to take over 24 hours to reply to me. With very small responces - he never asks me questions. I asked him to call the night before i went camping and he said he couldnt because he was too drunk from drinking with friends. I went camping and came back and got him on the phone. I demanded him to call and he said he couldnt cause he was tired from work and would the following day

I told him it makes me upset that he doesnt talk to me and that i constantly dont feel good because of him. He just said sorrry. I planned to say this is over if he didnt agree to meet me. But he agreed to a date the coming sunday... the day before i began work again. He said hed come to tokyo and and had a plan. It sounded fun.

Well come sunday morning.... he cancelled. He said he didnt have money. I tried to call him several times and he ignored me.

I confronted him in person. He got mad at me for it. Said he got some sort debt collection and got frauded... someone used his name to take out money and he has to pay court. He said he doesnt have money because of it.

I asked why he never tells me whats going on with him (because im dumb and beleive this... actually i dont. I hope hes being honestly and just has really bad luck but)

This time like last time i told him the way he treats me is how really awful boys who are using me and playing with me treat me. And i cant trust him if hes like this but doesnt tell me why

Well...i was there... i offered to pay for out date.... besides the 11 dollars it takes to get to him

He asked me to put 5 dollars on his train card.... it takes 3 dollads to get to and from where we went. He... mad sure no matter where we would eat it would cost 40 bucks - wanting to drink alc and such. It costed 43 dollars. He wanted starbucks but i kinda said no by saying i dont rlly like starbucks - but he still wanted to get a dessert - 3 dollars

And... he wanted me to buy him that aftermentioned accessory... a ring. He looked at very expensive ones... i... would not have paid for even as stupid as i am.. the one he got was 15 or 25 I forget which...

The thing is... if he wasnt actually... if i wasn’t comfortable being with him i woulda stopped this before... unfortunately. As usual. Despite initially not being attracted to him i really enjoyed his company and find him to be fun...

He said that we should go home at 8 i asked about going back to him place and he said no because hes tired and has work the next day. He knows i also do too. At the same time. And i tried to convince him and he kept saying no. Then i asked doesnt he wanna have sex. He said that we should go to a hotel. And i protested that hotels are expensive and his apartments free and just a cheap train station away. He said hes too tired and just wants to sleep at his apartment but hotels are exciting so hed be awake at a hotel.

He pushed them and i said at that point id be spending like 100 dollars on the day and he knows i also dont have a lot of money.

We awkwardly went to a manga cafe that was only 5 dollars but it wanted you to make a card that costs 5 more dollads. And then i got fussy because too much stress literally makes me lose control of my emotions.

It fucking sucks and i hate it. I have no fucking control over my emotions when my stress is bubbling (which it almost always is) and boils over.

I asked him if he can even pay just the 5 dollars and he said he has no money. I asked how hes gonna get to work with literally no money and he said his conpany pays for it (yea japanese conpanies pay AFTER you go )

We left. It was a bad mood. He didnt storm away from me even though i was basically crying in the street (i have had this happen with even friends. I start crying and they just walk away so even though it should be expected of someone claiming to be your bf... ya)

Anyhow i told him i just wanted to cuddle and talk and kiss

He looked annoyed but i guess he thought those wants were cute and looked for a isolated place

Because were in japan

Couldnt find one cause we were in a city and he again just started saying lets go home. That hes tired and not in the mood.

But we were in a quiet enough play.

And im bitching here but ill take a quick break to say i kept hugging him and stuff which he liked despite saying he was really embarrassed

He told me ealier ok that because of this debt thing hes gonna work two jobs

Which. Terrified me. The first guy I went on a date with in Japan asked me to be his gf and to move in with him and said he had to work two jobs for a month to afford to move so he wouldnt have time to see me. He told me his progress for two weeks and then ghosted me.

This boy told me hell make time to see me when i complained about not doing anything physical when i wouldnt see him again for who knows how long

Welp. Todays saturday and that was sunday. And while at first i thought he was trying because he replied to my messages in or at 24 hours for a few days. Its gone back to the 17 hours

And i asked him to talk on the phone

And he just said not tonight because after his current job hes working at home too

And because im dumb ive waisted my whole saturday waiting for him to reply and crying.

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lifehappenskeepbelieving · 4 years ago

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Wash off your face

I have decided after many different avenues and ways to handle my dissapointment in life, i believe that writing it down will be my outlet and why not share with the entire world! lol my mom used to always tell me I should have wrote for hallmark cards, i just like to write, everything im feeling, everything my head is trying to get my heart to believe and vice versa.

I suppose i should start with my most recent dissapointment...his name is Matt. Matt and i met through a mutual friend and she set us up on a blind date. We talked on the phone for a couple of days and decided that we wanted to meet sooner than what our original date was planned for. So he came and picked me up and we went for ice cream. we went to the park to eat our ice cream and proceeded to talk about each other and get to know each other.

we hit it off! the day after our date he showed up at my job and replaced my windshield wipers, he said every time ive talked to you on the phone its been raining and i realized you really needed new wipers lol. I took this as an incredible gesture of shivalry. No one had ever done anything like this more before and i loved it. Everything was going great between us and one night he asked if he could stay the night with me and i said yes, i have epilepsy and had a seizure in my sleep...the next morning i could tell something was off with him, after making me feel like having epilepsy was something i could control he said he couldnt handle it and broke up with me....i cried but got over it failry quickly....fast forward 2 months later. i get a random out of the blue text from him, asking how i was and after we talked off and on that day he asked me to dinner because he wanted to talk, i agreed (idiot).

we went to dinner and he explained to me how bad that night scared him and he wasnt sure at that moment he could handle it, he needed time to think and he did and he said he educated himself on it and was ready to start again if i would agree..i was hesitant at first, kept trying to find fault in everything he did, i didnt trust him at all and kept waiting for him to leave and then one day i just let go and gave him everything freely, took a chance, and honestly im glad i did. we had such an amazing time together, didnt argue or anything. He is a truck driver and was working out of town for 3 months about 5 hours away. We face timed every morning, at lunch and every evening. Then i drove there one weeked and spent the weekend with him, it was amazing and we decided to do that way more, he actually flew me to see him on thanksgiving...over time i fell in love with his mom, i have recently lost my mother and she reminded me so much of my own mom. i got to know his entire family and loved them all so very much. Christmas Eve he proceeded to tell me he loved me. We had talked about so many things, our future which we both had the same wants and plans. He was actually talking about not being out of town anymore and possibly looking for a job local, i told him to do what made him happy and that i would support him in anything. His last day of his contract out of town was New years eve, i picked him up that night and we spent the night ringing in the new year together with dreams of 2021 being our year.. that weekend we spent helping his mom take down all of her christmas decorations. He wasnt feeling too good so we didnt go anywhere but had talked about what we would do the following weekend. Then, tuesday morning at 10:35 am everything i thought about my world came crashing down, maybe im being a little dramatic but at the moment the breath was taken from my body....he called me because his mom was having a back procedure that morning, he proceeded to tell me that his ex had texted him and that he felt like he still had feelings for her and he left me...like a bag of trash to be thrown away.Blocked me from his phone, social media everything and less than 48 hours later was in her arms with roses that said...i love you.

I needed to write all this out to be able to see how amazingly selfish he is and what a basic piece of shit. Ill be honest this hurt, knocked me down. I couldnt sleep i couldnt eat i felt like i couldnt breath. Then i read a RM Drake quote that said everything i needed it to say...i dont need an explanation, i dont need a reason, he knew what he was doing and he knew it would destroy me and he didnt think twice about it, he left and didnt look back and now its my turn to move forward and not look back. I wish Matt and Sharon the best of everything this world has to offer....ok honestly thats a lie, i hope she destroys him and leaves him feeling the same emptiness and pain he left me with, but im trying not to be petty because id like to think im better than that but who knows, we all have that moment when we just want revenge...

so this will be my new outlet, my way of writing out everything that happens in my life, it wont all be dark and dreary, ill post projects and fun stuff too. I just needed to have a way to get this all out.

I look forward to this and hope you all join me on my destiny to find peace.

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skiasurveys · 4 years ago

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494

Name: skia

Country: Canada

Age: 23

Gender(s): female

Height: 5’1

weight: 145

eye color: brown

skin color: white

Heritage: French, Swedish and Ukrainian

Relationship status: taken

Are you physically healthy? Yes and no

Are you mentally healthy? Nope

Job?: none atm

school: Rdc

Favs:

Animal: wolf

Flower: don’t have one

Movie: the lion king

TV show: this is us

Music: classic rock

Band: queen

Video Game: animal crossing

Gaming Console: ps4 or switch

Name: don’t have one

Person: jennifer

Love life:

1: Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah

2: Do you love them? Of course

3: Are you still in love with an ex?no

4: How many people have you dated? Like 4

5: Do you think you’ll get married? I’m not sure

6: Have you ever been emotionally/physically abused in a relationship? -

7: Have you ever hurt your partner by accident without knowing it? Yeah I always apologize after

8: Whats important to you in a relationship? Communication and loyality

9: Do you have to see them everyday? ( or hear from them) before we lived together , yes but since we live together now he doesn’t need to text me every day cus we see each other daily but if he’s gone away then yeah lol

10: Do you think you can love someone within 2 weeks? I mean maybe but also no..

Friendship and Family:

1: How many friends do you have? Like 5

2: What type of friend are you? I’m not sure. The one who makes jokes

3: Have you ever been friends with someone for longer than 7 years? Yeah I think the longest js 13 years

4: Do you have one best friend, more or none? I have 2

5: Have you ever had a friend just stop being your friend and you never knew why? Yeah

6: Do you get along with family? Yes

7: Do you have a family member you hate? A few lol

8: Does your family accept who you are? Yeah

9: Are you an only child or have siblings? Sister

10: Do you have parents that still live together? My dad died so

School:

1:What grade are you in? Not in school

2: Are you in Middle, High, or college? ( or neither)? College technically

3: Whats your favorite class? Art

4: Do you have a fav school year? Prob grade 12 was the best lol

5: Are you a good student? I was

6: Do you think homework is good or bad? I think it’s stupid. I think kids should only do homework if they don’t finish in class. But it’s not fair to them.

7: Have you ever had a teacher who was really funny but had poor teaching skills? Yeah

8: Is your GPA high or low? Middle

9: Do you like to particpate in conversations in the class room or are you the listener? I rather listen

10: Do you take part in extra school events? (eg. Plays, sports, leadership,clubs) nah

Health

1: Do you need to lose or gain weight? Lose

2: Have you ever had the swine flu? (H1n1) yeah lmaoo

3: Do you like to go to the doctors? No I get anxious

4: Have you ever puked in school or at work? Nope I don’t think so

5: Have you ever been extremely sick where you couldnt even leave your bed? Yeah a few times I think I had covid lol

6: Do you hate puking or does it make you feel better? I hate it but it always makes me feel better after

7: Have you ever coughed up blood? No

8: Should you be eating healthier ? Yeah

9: Do you lie to your doctor? No

10: Have you ever taken too much advils? Yup

Mental Health:

1: Do you have a mental illness? I have A few

2: Do you take anti-depressants yes

3: Are you mentally stable? No lmao

4: Have you ever been misdiagnosed? No

5: Do you think you have an disorder but havent been properly diagnosed yet? Maybe

6: Is self diagnosing good or bad? Bad but I get why ppl do it bc they don’t have access

7: Should we give more money to mental health research? Yes!!

8: Do you think everyone has a chance to over come their mental disorders? Some maybe like anxiety possibly but most are jsut cus your brain is fucked

9: Would you ever not date someone if they had a severe disorder? ( Schizophrenia,BPD, mood disorders) Nope. Only wouldn’t date someone who had a mental health condition if it affected me very negatively

10: Does mental illness run in your family? Yeah

SEX

1: Virgin? No

2: what age did you lose it? 19

3: Did you take sex ed? Yeah from 4-12 grade

4: Does size matter? Sometimes....

5: Whats your favorite poistions? I like doggy or cowgirl

6: Does virginity exist? I mean I guess

7: Do you think sex is overated? Ehh no i

8: Is making love and fucking different? Yeah one is romantic other can be just for pleasure and to cum

9: Is it important for both genders to understand eachothers bodies? Yes

10: If someone was a virgin and was raped, did they lose their virginity? I mean technically yeah but I also think no I think virginity should be a consent thing

Check the box:

1.My hair color is: [x] Brown [] Black [] Blonde []Red [] Funky colors [] Auburn [] more than one color

2.Eye color: []Blue []Grey [x]Brown []Light brown []dark brown []green []amber [] I have two different colors of eyes

3.I am a : []Male [x] Female []Trans Male [] Trans Female []Gender Fluid [] I dont have a gender []Non Binary [] other

4: I am: []Fit [x] Average []Skinny []Fat

5: I love my : []Hair [x]Eyes []Smile []Teeth []Skin []everything about myself []None of these

6: I hate my: [x]Hair []eyes []smile [x]teeth []skin [] everything about myself [] I dont hate anything about myself

7: My feet are: [x]Small []Wide []Narrow []long []large []Ugly [x]Pretty

8: I have a hard time: [x]Finding something to wear []Making Friends [] making food []staying focused

9: I am: []Employed [x]Not employed []retired []I can’t work []Self employed [x]Looking for a job

10: I love: [x]the moon [c]the sun [x]the stars [x]our galaxy [x]planets

Bold what is true:

I am Funny

I am a girl

I have no hair

I have curly hair

^ I hate it

I have straight hair

I have a dog

I have a cat

I have both

I love to get drunk

I don’t drink

I love to smoke weed but i hate smoking cigarettes

I love both

I rather have one best friend than 20 friends who i am not close with

My dad died

My mom died

My parents are both dead

My parents are alive

I like to touch my bruises

I have funny teeth

I love Mcdonalds fries

Sometimes when Im alone I sing as loud as I can

even if i cant sing

I believe in God

I believe in the butterfly affect

I hate video games

I wish I was taller

I can’t understand math

I am very good at writing an essay

I never had sex before

I love Mac N Cheese

I love Disney Movies

I prefer Dreamswork over Walt Disney

I am going to College

I finished college

I wish I went to college

I hate my job

I am the boss at my job

I have a feelings for a friend but i cant tell them because it would ruin our friendship

^ I have feelings and i told them

I wish soda was healthy

I sleep with the window opened

This survey was too long

#survey #surveys #questions #lmao I made this survey years ago so cringe!!

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iprobablyneedtherapylol · 4 years ago

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him

2018

january. we meet, and become friends. i ask to borrow his phone to call my mom, im grounded. he lets me.

febuary 6. he sets me up with one of his friends that i liked, but this is the day he will later tell me he realized he loved me. i never give him a second thought, were just friends right?

march. im now single and ive figured out he likes me. i realize he will do anything for me. i ask to borrow his phone every morning and keep it until we leave school. he seems annoyed that i do this, but he lets me so that means its okay right?

april. he will still do anything for me, i still take his phone. i text guys and get social medias on his phone. i call him my best friend but i dont mean it.

june. i am ungrounded. its summer time, i invite him to my birthday party, we text constantly and i finally realize i like being friends with him, he legitimately becomes my best friend.

august. we go back to school. i think i might like him, i decide to forget that and date other people to hide my feelings, it doesnt help.

october. i slip up. i flirt with him. he reciprocates and i realise i might be in love with him.

november 5. i finally convince him i really do like him and i want to date him. he asks me to be his girlfriend. ive never been happier. life feels like a dream.

2019

january. the magic has worn off. every day feels the same, im bored of my life and want a change. i decide to break up with him.we stop being friends for 2 days but realise we cant stay apart. we go back to being best friends while also being very flirty. i start dating other people, he never even looks at other girls.

may 10. i decide to date a boy who messed me over in 8th grade. he tells me im going to get hurt but still supports my decision.

may 14. i get hurt and i cry to him. it takes me months to get over the break up and he is by my side every step of the way. i fall deeper in love with him.

august. i start dating a new boy who makes me realise he is toxic and a bad friend. i decide to stop being friends with him. me and the boy break up, i run to him and he is there for me. i realize ive never been this in love with him before.

december 5. i tell him i want to be his girlfriend, that i miss him and im in love with him. he says he loves me too and asks me to be his girlfriend. the relationship feels weird. we act like just friends at first but when i tell him i dont like that he does everything in his power to fix it.

2020

january. ive never loved anyone more, i think im going to marry him. i meet the new girl at school and she instantly becomes my best friend. me and him are the cutest couple.

febuary. i tell him we need to break up, that im losing feelings. im terrified hes going to commit suicide when i tell him. i lie about why we break up, im too scared to tell him i think he is my forever person. im only 15, i dont want to be tied down. i start dating someone new a couple weeks later. he asks if i broke up with him for someone new, i tell him no. i tell him he meant the world to me but i just lost feelings its no ones fault.

march 5. i break up with the boy im dating, hes all i can think about

march 6. i tell him im in love with him, i say im going to miss him over the spring break. he smiles at me and i kiss him. he says i shouldnt do that, i just got out of a relationship. i tell him it doesnt matter, ive found my forever person. its him, its always been him. i have to leave, i expect to see him in a week.

march 14. they cancel school for two weeks, we remain just friends. he says we cant date. i agree, and start talking to other people too.

april 16. he is mad im talking to other guys, but hes furious when he finds out im talking to a boy who messed me over un 8th grade. he gives me an ultimatum, says if anything ever happens with the guy who messed me over our friendship is out the window. i said okay, but knowing he gave me an ultimatum hurt. he said he thinks im going to do something and lie to him about it. i ask if hes logged into my instagram without my permission. he says he couldnt help it, that if i wasnt such a liar he wouldnt have to do that. he says its my fault hes this way. im pretty sure hes right. this is the first big fight. we stop being friends.

april 20. a boy i liked messed me over. its midnight, but i have to text him, i dont trust anyone else. he comes to my rescue. he says hes sorry that he messed up, i say so did i im sorry i lied. he says me too. we talk until almost 7 in the morning. we are friends again.

may. we go from texting constantly to texting a few times a day, then once or twice a week. i feel like its my fault. i try toreach out and ask why were growing apart. he seems like he couldnt care less. we get into fights almost daily, eventually we just stop.

june 20. a boy i really liked admitted to only kissing me to win a bet and only talking to me so he could use me. i run to him begging for him to tell me i meant something to him, he tells me that i shouldnt have come to him. i ask him if i meant anything to him. he says of course, but asks how many people ever actually meant something to me. i realize ive lost him forever.

june 30. i send a final apology for everything. i expect it to be the last time i talk to him. he says he couldnt care less what i have to say. “dont contact me again” he says. i couldnt agree more.

september 16. we go back to school for the first time since march. i pray that i dont have classes with him. my classes are free from him and i thank god. i dont see him in the hallways either

september 23. i see him in person for the first time since march. i think im mentally prepared for it but nothing could prepare me. my feelings hit me like a truck. i know i should be over him but im not. its been months.i shouldnt care. i still do. i cry myself to sleep, wishing i could change the past. .

it had been 6 months since i saw him. it had been 5 months since the first fight. it had been 4 months since we stopped being friends. it had been 3 months since the last text from him. it had been 2 and a half years of friendship down the drain. all because of one thing.

me.

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rosenburg-lia · 5 years ago

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What Does One Even Do?

WHAT? — Lia has Vanessa over to discuss her situation.

WHEN? — saturday night, april 4th

TRIGGERS? — pregnancy

FEATURING — Vanessa Montgomery ( @thevmontgomery ) mentions of Drew Torres and Tori Santamaria

lia: I cant be a mom, I barely even know how to take care of myself. One of the thoughts that swirled through Lias brain over the last hour. Still sat on the side of the bathtub, the pregnancy test laid on the sink. Her elbow resting on her knee as her focused trained on a specific spot on the floor. Her only move since she had seen the test was to grab her phone and text Vanessa. How the fuck does one even begin to take care of a kid? Taking a deep breath as she stood on shaky legs, collecting the test and her phone as she walked out of the bathroom. She couldnt even grab her usual vices to deal with the anxiety raking her body. Her body felt almost empty, her mind filled to the brim, but as she sat on the couch, wrapping herself in a ball, her hands instinctively fell to her stomach.

Vanessa: It was like her mind got a jump start reading Lia's message. Most of her messages went unnoticed, read, but unnoticed. There wasn't any reason she felt the need to see or speak to everyone all things considering, but Vanessa couldn't leave Lia at a time like this. Vanessa remembered going through all this alone. She remembered staring at the test, having no idea who to call and sitting in a dark room for days by herself. Vanessa wasn't going to let Lia go through that. As soon as she reached Luke and Lia's apartment, she moved straight through the house, finding Lia immediately and wrapping her arms around the girl. Was it for her comfort or the other girl's? It didn't matter, they both needed someone right now.

lia: she allowed herself to be engulfed by vanessa. the tears already falling from her eyes as she felt her arms around her. "I fucked up V," She choked out, "I cant be a mom," She spoke, glancing up to meet her gaze. She was grateful she had Vanessa in her life, even in whatever drama she was going through that made her leave town, she was still there when Lia needed her. But it would take some time for Lia, nothing was processing just feeling like facts floating through the air.

Vanessa: "you didn't fuck up, Lia," vanessa replied softly. it was all flushing back to her remembering this moment for herself. distraught on the floor feeling time collapsing. vanessa rubbed her friend's back, trying to provide whatever comfort she could bring. "we're going to get through this okay? together, i'm not going to let you do this alone."

liaa: "yea i did," She mumbled, her mind flashing through the memories of what shed done. Her night with Drew, telling Tori and subsequently losing her for now, and now this. "I cant let you say that without knowing the whole story," She sighed running her fingers through her hair. "The father is Drew," She spoke softly, "And I dont know what the fuck to do.."

Vanessa: it took everything in vanessa to pull herself together. she took a deep breath, "look, drew is an idiot, but he's gone through this before and i promise you he's going to do the right thing when you tell him, but i'm telling you you're going to have to tell him. you'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't." she paused, feeling a little choked up about her own situation. vanessa stood up, and grabbing her friend's hand to sit on the tub rail. "we're going to go to the doctor and confirm how far along you are, but listen no impulsive thinking, no drinking, no smoking, no sleeping around, /nothing/."

liaa: her brows scrunched together at vanessas words, "What do you mean hes been through this before?" A sigh as she listened to her words, "I know, I plan on telling him. I will tell him," She paused before mumbling out, "eventually," Her eyes meeting vanessas as she spoke, nodding with her words, "I know, Im really sad too because I picked up a nice eighth," She chuckled, "Kidding...sort of," She sighed, "Im not sleeping around V, I never really have. Im taking this seriously, gonna read all the books and articles. Figure out my choices,"

liaa: "I dont even want to think about how Ill look pregnant, let alone if I have a kid," She spoke, "But I need to know everything, ya know?"

Vanessa: looked down, knowing she had to tell Lia eventually, after all that was the whole reason she came here. "At the end of Freshman year, I found out I was pregnant. He was there for me like with everything. He drove me to all my doctors appointments, let me stay over his place whenever my father got too much, even went on 2 am runs for me to get chinese and crap. And god, did that boy love my son with all his heart," she paused, her voice growing a little weak, but forcing some strength once she looked back to Lia. "He did right by me and he didn't even have to. With you, he's gonna give you and that baby the world if you let him," Vanessa explained. "We don't have to worry about any of that right now. What we need to worry about is you."

liaa: Her eyes widened, but she stayed silent, her brain did not however. The dots connecting in her head when Drew would disappear at times, realizing it was to go visit vanessa, to support her. A fond smile coming to her face as she thought about the boy, even as a best friend, he had been in dad mode from the jump. A part of her feeling warm knowing he wouldnt shove her away, or at least she hoped. "Im scared. Not worried, or nervous. But scared," She spoke, "Its terrifying to know that this has been growing in me, that someone is in there. Not just my organs anymore. I cant just go buckwild when I want because I want. My whole life is getting twisted V,"

Vanessa: "Come on, Li," Vanessa spoke softly. She wasn't going to let her friend be down on herself. She offered her hand out, "I'm gonna do for you what I wish someone would have done for me." Vanessa walked slowly, leading the girl back towards Lia's room and guiding her towards her bed. "Get in. Right now it's the size of a lima-bean at best. All this worrying is going to hurt you more than worrying will hurt the bean."

liaa: She smiled softly, taking her hand, following her through the apartment to her room. "V, its not my place, but did everyone know about your pregnancy? Or just drew?" She asked, "I dont think I want everybody, even the close ones, knowing," pulling the covers of her bed up, curling into them as she laid in the bed. "Ive grown up on worry, I think I can survive,"

Vanessa: pulled out her phone, her home screen showing a photo of Rocky and Vanessa sitting by a Christmas tree with matching smiles that took up their whole faces. "Drew's the only person who knew he was my son for a really long time, like almost three years now. Everyone else just assumed he was my little brother," she explained. "You only have to tell who you want to. I didn't even tell the father until a few months ago. Everyone isn't entitled to your life," she added. Vanessa laid in bed besides her friend, hoping that she was somehow helping. "You've gotta more than survive now."

liaa: Lia smiled as she saw the photo, "Hes adorable V," Listening as Vanessa spoke, her heart warming at the thought of Drew and Rocky interacting. "Im sure youre a great mom," She spoke softly, "Is Dallas the dad? Or did timelines overlap?" She asked, raising a brow, her tone void of all judgment and just interested in the part of her best friend she didnt know. "Why did it have to be Drew? Why couldnt it be Owen or Luke? Did God just wanna send a big fuck you my way? Want to ruin my relationship with Tori?" She sighed, "Or was it karma for not being honest with T from the gun? About everything.."

Vanessa: 's head dropped. She wasn't going to worry Lia about everything going her tragic motherhood. She wasn't a great mother, but that wasn't something she wanted to get into now. "Overlap," Vanessa said lowly. "Hence, me not telling the father until just a while ago." She knew it was wrong and saying it out loud made it all sound ghetto and fucked up, but that was her life. "Drew is not the worst person to have as your baby's father. Luke and Owen are not promised to step up, Drew will," Vanessa explained. "Have you told Tor he's the father yet?"

liaa: She nodded, "Thats fair, and at least you didnt have to lie to someone and or tell them you were wrong or something," She shrugged, "I didnt say he was, thats the issue. Hes perfect, the type to step up and actually support your decisions," She scoffed lightly, "She didnt even hear me out about sleeping with him, I dont think i can ever tell her im pregnant V," Looking at her friend with sad eyes, "It was like she was looking through me after I said it. I dont ever wanna see that look from her again,"

Vanessa: "I don't really wanna talk about Rocky's father if that's okay with you," Vanessa replied, not going too much into the subject. Her son was a sore spot for Vanessa, but the father situation was a whole different kind of pain. "Lia... You don't have to have this baby, you know that right?" Vanessa replied, her words slow so they could actually sink in. "I'm not on anyone's side! But you did sleep with her ex, you couldn't have expected her to just be calm and take that news like a champ. There's very few exes she cares about and you knew Drew was one of them..."

liaa: "Not a problem," She spoke with a nod. She knew better than to try and push Vanessa to talk about whats going on in her head. Turning towards her, a small smile, "I know. Im planning on looking at all options, even the ones that not everyone agrees with," A small shrug following her words, before she went silent. Listening to V speak, knowing she was more than correct in her words. "Its not that I expected her to be calm, but at least hear me out. She just defensive and harsh, which is fair, but i did expect some conversation about it," A small sigh as she ran her fingers through her hair, "its not like I meant to sleep with him V. I didnt hang out with him that night intending to see what his dick looked like, it just happened," Shaking her head lightly, "And I know its not an excuse, but its the truth. It wasnt planned, it wasnt like we ever intended on doing it. The plan was to be friends. Nothing more, nothing less, and now here we are,

Vanessa: "When have you ever known Tori to be much of a talker?" Vanessa replied playfully, shaking her head. "Okay ew! He's my best friend. I really really don't wanna talk about his dick! Whatever reason you had for hanging out with him is your business, but you've got to know that something was going to come from it. Drew too, but look we're not going to worry about that right now. Right now you need to get some sleep. All this worrying and back and forth isn't going to make this easier on you or really anyone involved."

liaa: "We've always been friends V, chaos comes to both of us, its enjoyable together," She shrugged, "I had never planned on being anything with him /after/ he got with Tori," She spoke, "All I know how to do is worry, especially when everything seems to be falling apart at the seams," It was true, everything she had known, was crumbling around her. Leaving her by herself in the storm, hanging onto Vanessa for dear life. "I just want it to be easier, but it wont be. And I know that,"

Vanessa: "You just gotta give her time, but you've also gotta be okay with the fact that she might never forgive you either," Vanessa explained, as much as she didn't want to think it would happen––Vanessa knew her best friend. "Whatever you decide to do, you know I'm gonna be by your side," Vanessa replied, interlocking her had with Lia's. "I wish I could tell you things are going to be easier, I really wish I could," she added softly. She'd be lying to saying anything about it, Vanessa knew /not/ knowing was always the easiest part. "It won't get better, you'll get better."

liaa: "I know, and I accept that. As much as it hurts, I know that she has that right. I betrayed her trust," She shrugged, "But shes always been there, i hate thinking about her not being here," A smile as she felt Vs hand in hers, "I appreciate you so much. For not judging more, or at least expressing it, and for being here. I know youve gone through something recently, and we dont got to talk about it. But it means something to me that your here right now," She spoke, an honest tone in her voice. "But youd be lying," She nodded, "Ive been told that for a while now. Seems like false hope,"

Vanessa: "Don't beat on yourself too much. We both know our girl can be a little dramatic," Vanessa explained. The last thing she wanted to do was be in the middle of this with all her closest friends involved, but Vanessa knew that everyone would be at each other's throats if she didn't stick her nose in it. "Lia, I got pregnant at 14 and became a teen mom at 15, I'm the last person who is ever going to judge you," Vanessa said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of Lia's face. "You know I'd be here for you baby, *but* if you do this dumb shit with Dallas I will put nair in your shampoo," Vanessa teased, wanting to lighten the situation. "You know I got you, pumpkin," she added, resting besides Lia.

liaa: "We all can be, and thats the real issue," She joked, "we all are dramatic bitches and most of the time it works for us," She knew that calling V automatically put her in the middle. It wasnt her intention, she genuinely just needed the girl. "I hope you know I understand if you decide being a part of all this drama is to much. I wouldnt be mad," She spoke, a small shrug at the end of her words, "Youre a strong person V. I know a lot of people dont tell you that, or praise you on other things. But going through what you did at that age, its tough for me now, i cant imagine three years ago," A small smile at Vanessas touch, "I would never with Dallas, hes like a big brother," She chuckled, "Can I admit something to you?" Her eyes turning to find Vanessa in the small light her side lamp gave off.

Vanessa: "I'm not dramatic! I'm just use to a certain lifestyle and anything outside that will be met with outing and tears," Vanessa joked back. She was going to be involved whether Lia called or not. "If you hadn't had called me, one of them would have." Drew would have called or even Tori. Somehow Vanessa always found out. Her head dropped somewhat, a long breath following before looking back to Lia. She didn't feel all too strong, the compliment falling somewhat on deaf ears. "Yeah, what is it?"

liaa: "Yea, not dramatic at all," She spoke sarcastically shaking her head lightly. "You arent wrong," She shrugged lightly, before her hand came up to play with my necklace. "Remember that guy i was into before tori and drew got together?" She questioned, turning slightly to look at V.

Vanessa: "Luke?" Vanessa asked raising an eyebrow. "Or does this have to do with those nice little Tiffany's necklaces you have for each day of the week?"

liaa: She chuckled lightly, "Ive always been into Luke, but its more of a sexual attraction than romantic i think," A small shrug, "And the necklaces are a whole different story for a different time," She rolled her eyes teasingly, "But seriously, again, youre the first person im admitting this to," She spoke before a deep sigh, "The guy was Drew, I had feelings for Drew. But then he got with Tori, and I distanced myself. Allowing the feelings to leave so they could be happy,"

Vanessa: "Plus Fiona would have your head if you tried anything that resembled a serious relationship," Vanessa teased. Her mouth dropped open wide, shockingly surprised at Lia's confession, though if Vanessa was using all her brain cells she could have known. "Amelia Jane Rosenburg!"

liaa: "Bitch I can take Fiona Coyne, shes not as big and bad as she pretends," She chuckled lightly, but knew that there was truth lingered within her words. No one that ends up with Luke or Fiona will compare to them for each other, and Lia wasnt gonna compete with that. "I know I know! But I did the right thing! I wasnt a bitch about it!"

Vanessa: "She will literally /buy/ you! Shit, I'd let her buy me if it weren't for her brother being the hotter Coyne," Vanessa joked. "Plus you can't fight people like Fiona Coyne, they press charges and then run to their men acting like you beat them or something then Luke's just gonna end up mad at you." She would never understand the girl's desire with the eldest Baker, but then again Vanessa's conquests never made sense either. "Did he know?"

liaa: "Yea yea yea, ive been told," She rolled her eyes, "I want to fight her. Ive wanted to for a while, not even because of whatever the fuck the relationship between me and Luke is. Shes just not a good person to me," She shrugged, "I dont think he did considering he tried to console me when it was brought up one day,"

Vanessa: "You're not fighting anyone," Vanessa replied, rolling her eyes playfully. "Do you want to be with him still? Like forget the bean in your belly and Tori, do you actually want to be with Drew?"

liaa: "I want to fight someone, but i can not right now," She spoke, a small shrug. Her eyes looking at the ceiling a she thought over vanessas question. "Yes," She answered, "Hes amazing V, in every sense. Sure hes made some dumb choices, we all have, but god that kid has a heart of gold," A sense of honesty in her tone as she spoke, "He makes the hard seem easy just by coexisting with me if I need him. Hes always willing to distract me or talk shit out with me. When weve gone out hes fought dudes for me because they cant take no," She chuckled lightly, "I want it V, i really really want it,"

Vanessa: "Then you know what you need to do," Vanessa nodded. She knew this was going to be a ride if they were to actually get together, but if Lia was happy Tori would have to come around at some point right? "My mama use to say everything's going to be okay in the end, if it's not okay.. it's not the end."

liaa: "I need to run to alaska and change my name," She spoke with an affirming head nod. Smiling at her words, "Your mom seems like a smart lady. My mom is a cunt," She shrugged with a small chuckle, "Can we just cuddle and sleep? Im done thinking about this,"

#vanessa.#barbie girl💫 plastics #tw:pregnancy

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brooding-daydreaminggay · 4 years ago

Note

All the nsfw asks hehe ~

NSFW Asks

1:When did you lose your virginity? I’ve never lost it with a guy. I actually popped my own cherry by accident.

2: Rough sex or soft sex? Both

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes? I am a sadist, masochist, into bdsm, choking, spanking, slapping, etc. I am into the whole fucking scene.

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex? School?

5: Favourite sex position? I love when the girl is sitting on my lap riding.

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive? I am 100% dominant

7: Have you ever had any one night stands? Yes

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor? All of the above

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place? A bunch

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating? No

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like? I have lace but I normally wear cute boyshorts.

12: How often do you have sex? Since my gf is not here, I don’t

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with? My girlfriend.

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex? Giving

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex? Nothing

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex? “I Don��t Wanna Be” -Type O Negative

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? “Bloodstream” -Stateless

18: Are you into dressing up for sex? I mean if my partner wants me to

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower? Bath

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be? MY GIRLFRIEND

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you? No

22: Do you/would you use sex toys? Yes

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture? Yes

24: Would you have sex with your best friend? Yes

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink) Drink water

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny? A girl sitting on my lap and playing with my hair

27: Early morning sex or late night sex? Both

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex? Hands

29: Favourite body part on the same sex? EVERYTHING

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: My fucking toys lmao

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you: Nothing

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] Yes and I was into it.

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: Always be safe! Discuss with your partner

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: Does ice cube count?

35: Worst possible time to get horny: While I am out and about

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? FUCK YES

37: How much fapping is too much fapping: Do as much as you want

38: Best sexual complement you ever got: I haven’t

39: Favorite foreplay activities: Touching, teasing, rubbing on one another

40: What do you wear to bed? sleep shorts, a tank/sports bra..if i was alone i wouldn’t have anything on

41: When was the first time you masturbated:I am not getting into that At least not on here

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? Somewhere

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? A year ago

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public? Yes

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome? NO

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? A big jumbo marker LMAO

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? Lesbian porn

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not) I love it! If you can’t go down, you don’t deserve oral.

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? I would be into it.

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? As long as there was consent

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? Veggies lmao

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? PORNSTAR

53: Do you watch porn? Yep, haven’t recently though. I ten to not watch it when I am with someone because I don’t need it.

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? Yes. I am not sure..

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? Once or twice

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? NO, I love when women are natural

57: If you could give yourself head, would you? Yep

58: Booty or Boobs? Both

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) No it is wrong and it disgusts me

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do? Not gonna lie; I would fuck a lot. GET TO PEE STANDING UP! Blow jobs! ANd i can’t think of anything else... lol

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate? Yes

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate? Yes

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? No...

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate) Toys, clit, both at the same time

65. What is your bra/penis size? Not gonna say here

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus? A jumbo marker

67. When was the last time you masturbated? Two nights ago

68. When was the last time you had sex? Oof it has been a very long time

69. When was the last time you watched porn? A couple months ago

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? Yes, it was a small vibrator

71. Guys:Circumsized? Do what they feel like?

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched? My hands and arms

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? Clit

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation? I have twice

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr? NO

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? A week ago

77. Which wet dream was your favorite? Ugh I can’t remember at the moment

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? Yes, my girlfriend. She is my friend and a girl.

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? No

80. Favorite sexual position? I’ve answered this already

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? No

82. Are you into any BDSM? YES

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? Yes, because my girl is in another state

84. Do you like dirty talk? Yes

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation? I am vocal

86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? Yes by my ex’s dad and mom and brother

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch? lesbian

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? No

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them? Yes

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them? Yes and no I have not kept contact

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial? Yes

92. Ask whatever you want ???? No

@pearlchu @pearlchu

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beachbabywrites · 6 years ago

Text

Anya // A Natasha Romanoff imagine

Valentine’s Request 14/?

REQUEST: So this idea just came to me with Natasha x reader x wine and i couldnt resist. Natasha and the R slept together while being on the Avengers, right, and after a couple of weeks Nat decides to quit the team and live a normal life for awhile, no S.h.i.e.l.d and all. Even tho they had feelings. After like 2, 5 years the R meets Natasha in the shop and theres a toddler right by her side. The R is a fem, please, she has magic hands yeeah😂❤ - @chonisbestmistake

"I'm a goddess, what can I say?" You whispered against pale flesh. A heartbeat thundered under your lips, your hands caressed soft skin.

"I've never believed in myths." The woman under you whispered before she wrestled you onto your back. With one hand she held both of your wrists above your head, her free hand teased with intent til you groaned. She pulled away, a smirk on her face as she crawled off the bed, turning to a dresser.

"How can you call me a myth when I'm sitting right here? I've seen centuries of humanity denying my existence but never to my face." You sat up, back against the headboard.

"Wanda can move things with her mind. Is she a goddess? Am I a goddess of war? Chaos? Despair? I don't believe in gods. Superhumans, yes. There's something about them to believe in." You tilted your head to the side, she turned abruptly, the look on her face told you the conversation was over and she had something else on her mind.

"No one's heard from Natasha in days. Have you gotten any word from her? -S" You stared at the phone screen, your heart couldn't decide if it wanted to stop altogether or race away. Taking a deep breath, you answered.

"Not in a couple days. Have you tried asking Clint?"

Waiting for the little 'ding!' of an incoming text was proving to be more exhausting as the hour moved on. You paced the room, you paced to the kitchen and back. You checked the burner, you checked your personal. Nothing new.

Your answer wouldn't come for four more days, days you spent worrying, checking with agents who had worked alongside Romanoff, checking to see when her last mission was. No one had an answer for you before then, 'it was so abrupt, so out of the blue!' and 'I think her identity was blown, someone from her past showed up.' were both whispered to you on separate hallways. No one knew when her last mission was, no one knew if this was her last mission. That is until you got the email from Deputy Director Hill forwarded to you by a trusted companion.

"Agent Romanoff turned in her signed resignation letter on the 11th of this month. The reasoning is unclear. She has requested that she not be contacted."

You didn't believe it. Natasha wasn't the kind to retire, she had told you one night that the Avenger's was her only place in the world, she didn't have a backup plan if it all ended.

You showed up at her apartment and tried your key. It didn't fit the lock anymore. You pulled a bobby pin out of your pocketbook and when the door fell open you couldn't find it in you to enter the apartment. It was all different. The white couch with a wine stain was now yellow with green and red stripes. The Monet painting that hung next to her bookshelf was gone, a flat-screen replacing it. The place was empty, no food in the cabinets or fridge, no books on the shelf, no magazines on the coffee table. Her bed was stripped and clothes gone. It was like she scrubbed every bit of Natasha away from the apartment.

In your own home, you checked the drawer you had given her to keep her things in and to your astonishment it was empty too. You wondered how long it had been empty, had she been here just days ago to take her things back and leave? Or did she take them when she first left?

That night -and the next and the next- your chest felt cold and your bed, hollow. Or was it the other way around? You weren't sure anymore.

Agitation crawled under your skin, anxiety surfaced as anger and anger ate away at your sleep for many nights, soon turning to a deep gray depression. But it didn't stay depression long, no, the anger came back at the one month mark of her vanishing. It was a cycle you didn't know how to control. Your emotions were getting in the way of your work with the Avengers, making you dangerous to take on a mission.

Everyone tiptoed around you, the teammates that used to pick and tease now avoided you if possible if not, they spoke to you like they were comforting a sad child. Steve begged you to take time off, Wanda threw pitiful glances your way. Stark kept you busy.

You envied how Thor could come and go as he pleased, leave this planet and escape to another realm. You had never thought of your exile on Earth as an unbearable condition, not until you couldn't get away from the things that taunted you and reminded you of everything you should have said.

When one night the pain of losing Natasha so unexpectedly seemed to finally dull, you went out with Agent 13 and let her introduce you to a girl who worked at her favorite coffee shop. The girl was nice, her name was Elle, her smile was bright and when you woke up the next morning beside her you almost felt alright again. When she hugged you goodbye your body froze up and your mind stalled. A familiar scent of jasmine and honeysuckle and whiskey and warm nights and wrinkled sheets and red nail polish and quiet whispers flooded your senses. Sharon confronted you a week later and wanted to know why her coffee order was wrong for the first time in the nine years she had been going there.

So you decided you needed closure. To know she was okay. Or that she wasn't. You just needed to know what happened to her.

Agent Barton knew something, you could just tell, the look in his eyes was sympathetic as he wished he could say something before remembering he had an appointment to get to.

Steve knew nothing, but he wouldn't let himself focus on it for too long. "Natasha can take care of herself. If she was in trouble, she would have gotten word to us. I know there was something between you, but don't you think its time to move on? I mean, heal. Let yourself get over it." His kind intentions were ignored and you called the next best spy you knew.

So that's how you ended up in Ely, Nevada in a hotel room, a notebook splayed out in front of you. You'd officially met a dead end. One of Natasha's credit cards registered to an Alina Melnyk had paid for a three-year lease on an apartment building that was no longer standing and then the card was never used again.

You looked out over the small town, wondering if Steve was right. If Natasha had wanted to be found, she would have left a forwarding address, her phone wouldn't have been thrown out.

You picked up your pocketbook and headed outside, a list running through your head of food you needed, wondering how illegal it was to stop and dig up a small cactus from the parking lot of a movie theater.

The white fluorescent lights of the grocery store flickered a bit as you examined the options. You could hear the sound of a child laughing a couple aisles away. She scolded her mommy and laughed louder again and you smiled as you picked up a bag of chips.

You heard the little girl's voice growing louder, coming closer. You turned to watch as her mom pushed the cart by the aisle. She was leaned in close to the little girl, two small hands on her cheeks as the girl babbled on about two cartoonish sounding characters.

"We'll see, Anya, my sweet little chickpea." Her mom assured her and pressed a quick kiss to the girl's forehead.

The 8 dollar bottle of wine in your hands hit the floor, you gasped as you felt the liquid hit your feet.

"I'm so sorry." You rushed out as a woman in a uniform shirt came to ask if you were okay.

It was her.

It wasn't Natasha anymore but it was her.

You headed down the center aisle, your cart was long forgotten as you scanned the store for the red-haired woman. You turned a sharp angle and almost collided with someone else, a mess of apologies were thrown out before both realized who they were apologizing to.

Natasha stood before you, red hair in a bun, bangs covering the little scar above her left eyebrow. She was pale as a ghost and seemed to be frozen.

"Natasha?"

"That's not my name." She answered, but didn't move. The little girl was trying to get her mother's attention, waving wildly. "What are you doing here?" The anger in her voice squashed every bit of the confidence you had when you flew out to Nevada.

"I came looking for you."

"I didn't want you to."

"Natasha-"

"That's not my name." She was never the kind of person to lose her cool, to yell and make a scene, but she was turning red in the face and with every word her voice grew louder. "Will you please get out of the way so I can get through?" When the child asked, 'Matsya, what's wrong?' she pulled her glare from you and softened her gaze as she placed a hand on strawberry blonde curls.

"Nothing is wrong, chickpea. Come on, what do you say we go find you a new flower?" She was talking to you again when she whispered, "Move, now. And go back to New York or so help me-"

Nothing made sense anymore, especially the child. She looked too much like Natasha to be adopted. You wondered if she had left New York and the Avengers and you to start over, to have the family she was told she couldn't have. Her hostility didn't make sense, but what could you expect when you cornered a predator. But what really didn't make sense though, was why she showed up at your hotel door in oversized glasses and a floppy sun hat.

She stayed six steps away at all times, you thought when you opened the door she would hug you. She lifted her arms slightly, her hands clenched and she dropped them by her sides again before asking if you'd speak to her.

"She's yours." Was the first and only thing out of her mouth for about ten minutes. "My neighbor watches her during the day while I'm at the diner."

"She's mine?" You asked, wondering if she thought you were that dense.

"She really is. I hadn't slept with anyone else in the time we were together and after I left I didn't let anyone touch me. I didn't want to risk hurting her."

"Why did you leave?" You asked, fighting back the urge to yell 60 questions at once, all of them starting with why. "You didn't even say goodbye."

"I didn't know what else to do. I did what I thought was best for Anya."

"Anya? Is that her name?" She nodded and pulled a phone out of her oversized tote bag to show you pictures. "Were you pregnant when you left?"

"I was, yes."

"If she's mine, why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"

"Like I said, I did what I thought was best for my baby. Our baby. The day I found out I heard from one of my W.I.s that a man named Kocera had just gotten his visa approved and I left as soon as I could. He was a horrible man when I knew him in the '90s, a dangerous man. And I had wronged him before. So if he were to find me, what was stopping him from getting even?" The straw hat that Nat held in her hands was being wound and unwound until finally, she threw the hat down on the desk. You felt like you were watching a completely different person; Her mannerisms, her speech pattern, everything about her was different and you understood finally what the agents meant when they told you her specialty was reinventing herself.

"You never even called me."

"I didn't know what to say... You went on dates. I thought it would be unfair for me to send one email out of the blue after two years." You bit your tongue to keep from admitting you spent those two years a shell of who you used to be, pathetically waiting and searching and denying.

"I went on one date. It didn't end well... Natasha, I missed you." The distance between the two of you felt too far, but both of you were scared to move closer.

"You have to understand, I go by Elitsa now. I missed you too. More than you could ever know, especially after my behavior the last few years. Would you like to meet Anya? I think it's about time she meets her mother."

"I'm sorry, but how could she possibly be mine?" You asked, nothing in your history, the history of your people could explain how she would be yours. No stories were passed down from the great grandmother that birthed time, chaos, light and dark that warned you of this.

"You are a goddess aren't you?"

#valentines celebration #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #marvel #marvel fic #marvel oneshot #marvel imagine #beachbabywrites

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chimcharstar · 5 years ago

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1 THROUGH 55 AND 1 THROUGH 30 GO GO GO

LETS FUCKIN GO

tumblr please actually make this a keep reading

55 interesting questions you should drop in someone’s inbox

1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

I ALREADY WATCH NETFLIX AND AGONIZE OVER MY STORY

2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you’ve own/owned?

MY JACKETS. ANY CHEST OBSCURING, BROAD SHOULDERED, COZY JACKET

3. What hobbies would you get into if time and money wasn’t an issue?

DANCING, ID NEED TO GO TO CLASSES OR SOMETHING

4. What would your perfect room look like?

IM ACTUALLY PRETTY HAPPY WITH MY ROOM BUT IVE ALWAYS WANTED A LAVA LAMP, AND 1800 MORE PLANTS COULDNT HURT

5. Do you play sports?

6. What fiction place would you love to go to?

SINNOH REGION

7. What Job would you be terrible at?

DEBT COLLECTION. I WOULD BE GIVING SHIT TO PEOPLE FOR FREE. I COULDNT BEAR BEING ENCOURAGED TO FORCE PEOPLE WHO CANT PAY FOR SOMETHING TO PAY MORE

8. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would it be?

SERVING. HOW MANY PLATES CAN YOU CARRY AT ONCE

9. What’s the most annoy habit other people have?

WALKING IN MY SPACE BUBBLE WHEN MY SENSES ARE OVERLOADED

10. What skill would you like to master?

A SECOND LANGUAGE

11. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?

THE ONE FROM MY DREAM WHERE I KISSED A GIRL DYED MY HAIR BLUE AND WE ELOPED TO BRAZIL TO RAISE SHEEP

12. What’s your favorite drink ?

THAT CHRISTMAS SHIT. PEPPERMINT MOCHA AT STARBUCKS. A FRIEND GOT IT FOR ME ONCE. NOW I ORDER IT A BILLION TIMES.

13. What state or country would you never like to go back to?

I HAVE NOT TRAVELLED MUCH EVER

14. What songs do you have completely memorized?

I DONT REMEMBER LYRICS SO MUCH, BUT I COULD PROBABLY REMEMBER HOW MANY SONGS GO COMPLETELY

15. Are you usually early or late?

LATE. IM GETTING BETTER THOUGH

16. What takes up too much of your time?

GETTING OUT OF BED

17. What do you wish you knew more about?

SWORDS

18. What are some small things that make your day better?

COFFEE. SOMEONE SAYING SOMETHING NICE TO ME.

19. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?

QUEER EYE BUT BY TRANS PEOPLE FOR TRANS PEOPLE

20. Who has impressed you the most with what they’ve accomplished?

YOU. AND ME. ITS GROWTH

21. What age do you wish you can permanently be?

21, SO I HAVE TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCKS GOING ON

22. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?

13 REASONS, THE BOOK WAS TRIGGERING SO I WONT RISK IT

23. What would be your ideal way to spend you weekend?

TAKING A WALK, HAVING COFFEE, WATERING PLANTS… IM HAPPY

24. What’s something in your life that’s considered a luxury?

I HAVE PERFUME...

25. Is there anything you’re too young/old for?

TO YOUNG TO NEVER DRINK. TOO OLD FOR POKEMON

26. What’s your favorite genre book or movie?

I DONT HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN FOR EITHER BUT I SEEM TO LIKE URBAN FANTASY A LOT

27. How often do you people watch?

I THINK IM SO POLITE BUT HONESTLY, I QUIETLY SCRUTINIZE SO MANY PEOPLE ON THE TRAIN EVERY DAY AND GUESS AT THEIR PERSONAL HABITS AND SELF IMAGE.

28. What’s the best single day on the calendar?

MY BIRTHDAY, SAGITTARIUS SEASON RULES BABY

29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?

I DONT KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING PPL HAVENT HEARD OF BUT IM INTERESTED IN BLACK HOLES

30. Do you relax after a hard day?

FOOD. NETFLIX. DECOMPOSING ON TUMBLR

31. What’s the best book or series you’ve ever read?

I HAVENT READ A BOOK I REALLY LOVE IN AGES. HARRY POTTER AND ARTEMIS FOWL WERE MY FAVOURITES GROWING UP, BUT CORNELIA FUNKES BOOKS SLAPPED AND HIS DARK MATERIALS WAS GORGEOUS

32. Where’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?

IDAHO?

33. What’s the most heart warming thing you’ve ever seen?

LUCIFER WAS LIKE YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR BORING MIDDLE NAME JANE AND KNOWS THAT EVERY MURDER BREAKS YOUR HEART AND YOU SIMPLY DESERVE BETTER SO NO MORE MOMENTS WHILE THEYRE HAVING A MOMENT AND CHLOE IS WATCHING THIS FUCKING IDIOT AND IVE WATCHED THIS BEFORE SO I KNOW SHES GONNA KISS HIM AND THEN THEY KISS

34. What’s the most annoying question that people ask you?

ANY SMALL TALK QUESTIONS

35. Would you give a 40 minute presentation with no preparation?

YES. ID MAKE THAT SHIT RIGHT UP. SKILLS

36. What’s something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

GIVE ME A HUG AND SOME CHOCOLATE

37. Would you rather go Hand Gliding or Whitewater rafting?

HANG GLIDING

38. Dream car?

SOMETHING I DONT HAVE TO WORRY WILL FALL INTO PIECES AT ANY MOMENT

39. What’s something so many people are obsessed with and you just don’t understand why?

STRAIGHT LOVE SONGS

40. What are you most looking forward to in 10 years from now?

HAVING A CAT

41. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t gotten to it?

DECORATING THE DOLLHOUSE I RESCUED FROM THE BATHROOM

42. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you all week?

IM NOT VERY FAR THROUGH THE WEEK AND I HAVENT ENJOYED MOST OF IT BUT PEOPLE SAYING ADORABLE THINGS

43. How different was your life one year ago?

NOT A LOT DIFFERENT, IM JUST LONELY IN THE CITY NOW, MINUS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, ONE YEAR ON T

44. What/who would you rate 10/10?

MY CACTUS JAKEN. I DROPPED HIM SO MANY TIMES AN ENTIRE HALF OF HIS SPIKES ARE FLAT SCARS. AND LOOK AT HIM. THRIVING

45. What kind of art do you enjoy the most?

GENUINELY MADE ART

46. What do you hope never changes?

MY T PRESCRIPTION

47. What movie title best describes your life?

I LOOKED THROUGH NETFLIX AND I PICK TWILIGHT

48. What website do you visit most often?

TUMBLR

49. What’s something you’re looking forward to this year?

MY BIRTHDAY

50. What’s something you’d like to unlearn?

FINDING A REASON TO CANCEL EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING

51. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

WALKING BY SOME RUNNING WATER

52. What age would you like to live to?

80. THATS MY MENTAL HEALTH ANSWER

53. What’s something you’re most likely to become famous for?

SOMETHING CREATIVE WOULD BE AWESOME

54. What’s something you’re most likely to be arrested for?

CRIMES

55. What’s something you really want but can’t afford?

A CAT

Lgbt+ ask game

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?

I’m even a little shaken by a questioning state right now but for a while I’ve felt the best fit is the androgynous label -- I read a description of it being the purple on a pink to blue scale, both at once but not specifically either one, and something else by itself. I’m also happy with a cryptic masculine grey area. My pronouns are he/him.

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?

During the Puberty 1.0 nightmare, I was basically living someone else’s life, and any attraction I felt wasn’t in relation to myself. I felt disconnected from my body and gender and everything too, and I felt a lot of social pressure to experience a certain type of attraction, fit into a certain role, et cetera, and none of these feelings existed in me at all, so I used to identify as ace. When I realized I was trans, I was too caught up in the, transition safely, my life is a lie, stopping dysphoria drama to focus on this, but I had an idea I might be a gay guy judging from my gay creative writing until I caught feelings for a girl and realized this wasn’t the first time that had happened. Some bi positivity and nonbinary rage later, I am reminded that gender is a joke.

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?

Yes of course A LOT. Starting with my parents, who do it aggressively and maliciously. And plenty from strangers and customers, mostly after hearing my voice pre-transition. It used to hurt terribly because I was dealing with so much other stuff at the time, and one little thing could be the last straw, so I used to react strongly and harshly, to people you express yourself to anyway. On T, I’ve been so much more chill and confident, and it’s less painful to accept that some people just don’t know any better, although that doesn’t change its effect.

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?

I don’t remember, I think it was a high school friend. I vaguely remember texting someone in a bathroom during a crying session at work. My high school friends were all warm and supportive.

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?

It was scary as hell. I’m sure coming out (with your gender specifically) is scary by nature because it’s a huge truth to be telling that can really change how the people you love perceive you, for better or for worse, but for me, I’m also thinking with the dread and certainty that my family would be too conservative and potentially dangerous. Coming out to my family was one of the worst, most painful things I’ve ever been through -- being kicked out and laughed at, a lot of drama, confrontations, Bible readings and being ganged up on at odd hours, trying to comfort my mom who took it as her personal failure -- I was shaking with adrenaline 24/7. I think of the “I’ll suffer through anything as long as it has meaning” comment that was about angsty fanfics, but knowing the truth about myself was a source of unshakable strength and it felt refreshing and even triumphant to say, like I was giving myself permission to exist for the first time. I came out a bunch of times, though...

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?

My family reacted mostly badly, my sister is a little confused but has the spirit, and my friends have been wonderful.

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?

It’s more of a gender thing, but I hate it when people imply that I shouldn’t be on T or are subtly trying to talk me out of it with their questions. After all the disrespectful as fuck bullshit I heard from my parents, I’m tired of this.

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.

Zombie apocalypse denim? Gay Layers

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?

I’m not really emotionally invested in these “ships” you cool kids are talking about. I like canon, age-appropriate ones.

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?

I’ve never really worn makeup. I brazenly never bothered to growing up, and if it had an effect on me socially, I was too tuned out to care. My sister always wanted to do my hair and makeup, but I wasn’t interested and wouldn’t let her, much to her frustration. I wore some for a musical once though, and I had no idea what I was doing and it was extremely uncomfortable. I felt what I know now is dysphoria and ended up using the lipstick to draw. Another aspect to this is my family forbade it (or my dad made the decision for everyone), not that it made my sister feel less pressured to wear it, so maybe it was some female presentation I could easily get out of. For that reason, I don’t have super strong feelings about it. Not understanding it probably resulted in me feeling left out a lot among my peers.

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?

Yes. Before my realization, it was a numb horror I wasn’t consciously aware of, ruining nice things growing up to the point where I feel like I missed out on being a teenager. I remember it as feeling nauseous while sitting in a corner, feeling like none of my clothes ever fit for some mysterious reason. Living with my family in the closet, it defined my life, and I was obsessed with my presentation. These days, it does not bother me on that level at all, except a minor freakout now and then if I get really wild and wear feminine clothes. Or I still feel it in more subtle ways, when I default to customer service voice, or when guys my age are twice my height and I look aaaall the way up at them and wonder what gender they see me as.

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?

Trust me, I have heard truck loads of dumb shit and the winner is the Gay Agenda is R****a’s propaganda to weaken the integrity of North America. Considering what is happening over there, it was enragingly stupid.

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

I feel like I can be myself around lgbt+ people. I don’t feel like I have to hide stuff or put on a show, and I’m not afraid because it’s familiar territory.

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

Aside from obvious problems like TERFs, ace discourse. Ace people are part of the community if they want to be and that’s enough on that, my skin is already breaking out.

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?

I finally went to a Pride event this year! I was surprised it was the first one I’d been to, then remembered my parents discouraged me from going anywhere, never mind to a gay where.

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?

I can’t think of many people right now, but Leslie Feinberg seems awesome, and some quotes from Stone Butch Blues are very validating.

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?

No. Technically I have been in one, but it was shitty and ridiculous, and basically platonic, and I don’t want it to count.

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?

I barely read… I read Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe in high school and it was honestly so precious.

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?

Yes. I got kicked out (but then kicked back in again), had my stuff stolen and damaged, was verbally harassed… and I was indirectly fired by an employer, but We Will Never Know Why...

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?

Queer Eye! I don’t know of many though, and some important ones, I just haven’t watched.

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?

My mutuals :D

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?

I’m okay calling myself queer.

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?

No, but I did see some drag performances at the one (1) Pride event I went to, and they were jaw-dropping.

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?

I’m not sure what this question means, but I decide what fits right by what makes me feel the most alive and emotionally real and in the moment. What makes me feel the most attractive to be honest. There’s a post about dysphoria I saw going around, the things on it are basically what I use to figure things out.

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?

I am actually! Not anytime soon, but I’m the responsible type for sure, and judging by the way I love growing plants and being around animals, I’m probably a nurturing person. I actually like kids too, lol, they’re just so high-energy.

What identity advice would you give your younger self?

You’re a boy. Go!

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?

I think people are going to have different ways of expressing themselves that make them happy, but… I don’t think they should infringe on basic human decency. When I hear “role” I think of acting a certain way because someone told you to, something I want to disagree with on the spot.

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?

People move out of my way on the sidewalk and take me seriously now. Privilege or self-confidence… I never want to forget what it used to be like, or get too entitled.

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?

That it’s simply living one’s reality. I think that trips up a lot of straight people -- that some people just come like this, and they don’t have to make it fit into their personal identity.

Why are proud to be lgbt+?

Because I worked hard to be alive and happy right now. I’m proud of choosing to get through those rough patches, take care of myself, heal, take walks, cook breakfast, learn healthy coping mechanisms, that was out of love for myself and a defiant conviction that I have a place in this world.

#chatty tag

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