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cawcawbeech · 7 months ago

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SIX OF CROWS AND KISSING !!

(Welcome to this silly but intricate guide nobody asked for)

Just so everybody knows and is fully aware, I literally never kissed anybody in my whole damn life. I dont much care to try (for now) unless your name is Amita fucking Suman (jkjk, or not), but that doesnt mean I didnt do some very extensive research on the topic just so I can write what are hopefully non-generic scenes where all of my favorite characters make out till the following sunrise without a single other thought plaguing their empty little minds (exception being if the said thought is used to deepen 'the plot').

Before I say much else, I would like to note that THIS is just a very detailed bullet point list on kissing for all of my boys and girls separate of their partners assigned to them in canon or by the fandom. We will get to how it would actually go in different scenarios with different ships a bit later on if I decide it wont be a waste of my time. PS: No, not every kiss / kisser has to be extraordinary or unique or have whatever traits I ended up slapping on these characters here, Im just extra like that. And its not like anybody can stop me. Deal with it and simply enjoy (whatever this may be)!

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JESPER LLEWELLYN FAHEY

Jesper has had his fair share of practice in this particular field, we all know it. That is no reason to say that he is a perfect kisser, there are many who have done way more, constantly brag about it, and yet still leave you disappointed. But, this is Jesper we are talking about. Kuwei has said that he is a great kisser too, I choose to trust him on that. That joke he made to cheer up Wylan at Olendaal, the one about kissing Nina / Matthias 'with tongue', it doesnt have to mean anything, but I like to think he is a tongue kind of guy. I also like to think that he is adaptable to any type of person though, he aims to please through-and-through. It saddens me to look deeper, to think about how that may be a result of his low self-esteem, but in moments like these, it makes him happy most of the time, and it is all I could hope for when it comes to my boy.

The first relationship he had been a witness to, the one his mother and father shared before her death, had been a very healthy one. I wouldnt call Colm the perfect father, certainly not after his wife was gone, albeit he is significantly better compared to the hands the rest of our favourite characters have been dealth with, but he was good to Aditi. Most kids, including myself, were the type to be grossed out by PDA, especially when its between their parents, and while thats not in any way a bad thing, we can clearly see that Jesper was not of that type.

Despite his many faults, he was raised fairly well. He knows how to make a comfortable environment, to recognize a clear invitation, what to ask and what not to ask, what is acceptable and what he shouldnt do without a more in-depth discussion. He knows how to create and opportunity where one could deny him if they so wished. I wouldnt say its some overly high bar to jump over, if anything it is the most basic standard any and all should hold themselves to, but I call Jesper 'the consent king' for a reason.

Its said in the book that his mind empties when he kisses the right person, that thinking of methaphors clearly means something is wrong, but hes still pretty descriptive in his POVs if you ask me. Its also very clear that he likes to kiss deep, slow, and involve other sensations throughout which is the part where Id like to include some of my very own hcs (slight temperature / texture play where he drags his rings over skin, hair pulling is a given but I can see him also liking to touch peoples ears a lot, talking in between and whispering during the few subtly initiated pauses, etc). Jespers favourite type of kiss would probably be those he iniciates as soon as he wakes up in the morning. It rains often in Ketterdam, its normal, so he would also probably be one of the rare creatures among the regular Kerch citizens who finds kissing in the rain romantic.

KAZ BREKKER (RIETVELD)

Kaz will have to go through some major healing first, no doubts about that, but Id say he would probably be one of the elite members of the 'Im keeping my eyes open for this' club (until he isnt). I doubt he does much analyzing during, mentally he is on another planet thats probably many lightyears away as he tends to do with a lot of other even remotely intimate things, but theres lots of squinting, eyelid fluttering... Kaz is basically a personafication of that cliche 'when did I close them' quote. In my own experience, I can barely hold eye contact when talking, but I dont really see this as a bad trait. I also dont see it as a trauma response either like some would assume it would be for Kaz, I think its just a him thing. If this man didnt want to kiss somebody, you would not be kissing him, end of.

He likes to focus on teeth, whether by unconsciously (or consciously) biting his partner, having your teeth bump into each other, or licking his own after youre done. Theres lots of shuddering, youll feel him there more than youll hear him, but he is not completely silent either. I dont think he would like beeing cornered, picked up or lifted in any way except on very rare occasions. Just like the pulse thing where he feels for it on the wrist (or neck once he is more comfortable), feeling his weight including the pain of his leg serves to ground him. Perhaps he might also like feeling of you breathing through your nose on his face for the same reasons? He doesnt like leaving things unfinished, even if its just a peck, he will make sure it feels 'complete', I dont know how else to put it. If anybody could overuse the words "Again?", it would be Kaz motherfucking Brekker.

Im in no way saying he will be good, in fact, theres lots of traits here that many wouldnt like, but he tries when he wants to (and again, you would not be kissing this man if he didnt want it), he will learn and he will remember the smallest of details (so that he can ponder over them later). The only thing we hear about Kazs appearance related to his mouth is that there is a scar running through his upper lip. I never got it when people talked about kisses having a taste, but Kaz seems to often call people light-weight, so clearly, he handles his alcohol well, perhaps having developed such a habit to settle down his own supposedly non-existent nerves. It might not be the main reason, we heard about him being on the receiving end of many fights that in certain circumstances and with the ways they are handled lead to similar results, but liquor does leave one dehydrated and with chapped lips.

WYLAN VAN ECK (HENDRIKS)

Unless he is particulary fired up, Wylan likes to start slow and chaste no matter if you are the first, the thousanth person he has kissed or just a person he has kissed a thousand times. Unlike Kaz, he has some experience, sheltered kids know how to have fun in secret (and Im the last person who would ignore that 'lie' about him being kicked out for bedding the tutor, theres some truth to everything), but he is also nowhere near the level of Jesper or Nina or Matthias. We know he likes when his partner feels calm and like they are actually in their body before he goes in for the kill, we saw it with Jesper, but we also see that he isnt the type who needs to ask every time and will just do it when 'the time feels right'. Look out, he just might squeeze into your shirt while youre wearing it and do a makeshift 'surprise attack' from there if he is determined enough for it.

From that, we could say he might have some other habits, including but not limited to the familiar one of guiding his partner through breathing patterns. Maybe sometimes he likes to hold onto your forearms more tightly than necessary (not forcefully though), have your knees touch and bump into one another, straighten his own / your items of clothing, compare hand sizes while making weirdly-intense eye contact, use his thumb to subtly rub at a random tensed muscle, touch foreheads if he is tall enough or rub his face along the side of your neck, anything that would focus your attention to him and the moment... Ironically, as a follow up to the last point and as the kiss drags on, he forgets that he is an actual person who has a weight to them and has to lean back against something with the help of his partner before he falls down and cracks his goddamn skull open.

He likes to leave an effect on whoever he is kissing, but he also likes to 'clean up after himself' as much as possible after its done, which once again serves to bring both of you back down. So yeah, he would probably do something like twirling a stay peace of hair around his finger before neatly tucking it back in place, running that same finger across a brow, down the nose or along the jawline, nudging you playfully with his shoulder, hips or elbows, swaying a bit to slowly return the atmosphere back to relaxed as he secretely links your pinky fingers together. Lips would be his main focus, and he especially likes the soothing effect it has when he is sleepy, but he could also grow to like eyelid, nose, tummy or thigh kisses when it comes to placement.

INEJ GHAFA

Inej has had many men kiss her throughout her life, and unfortunately, theres no need to debate whether she truly enjoyed any of them. Oh how I would love to say that every shitty person is also shit at every other skill they try to master, however, that doesnt have to be the case. The fact that she was a brothel girl doesnt have to mean all of her kisses were bad (to specify, that refers to the technique). That being said, I think she would appreciate the message more than the way its done. It also might result in her not exactly caring about the placement of a kiss, palm, knuckles, hair, cheek, neck, lips, any of them would be equally as intimate to her, platonic or otherwise. Its somewhat similar to what Wylan also likes, but very different too once you look further.

As is with Kaz, you would not be kissing the Inej we know now unless she didnt want you to. I probably should have said this earlier, no, I dont mean that any of the other Crows would enjoy a kiss that was not what they wanted, they wouldnt ignore the signs and will fight the person off if needed, but I hope you understand why Im emphasizing it for these two in particular. I think her kisses would be short, but sweet, a petite little package that can deliver a punch under a right set of conditions, just like she can, the same going for her ship. Physically, we know her lips have an upturn to their shape. As is true with alcohol, salt water has the same drying effect that is only made worse by licking.

One other feature that might make Inejs kisses unique is a possibility of her aquiring more jewellery during her travels. I always imagined that the Suli find piercings to be very meaningful. Perhaps she had some since a very young age, perhaps they were taken from her too during her time at the Menagerie, maybe the holes closed naturally over the long months, maybe she got more whilst working for Kaz, and although it was not put there for such a reason, a lip ring (just as an example) has quite a pleasing effect for either side.

She holds a special appreciation for people who remember their first kiss, or at least remember their first kiss with her, a courtesy she will offer in return as well. It takes special kind of brave to get close (she knows better than most) and never lets the feat of overcoming fear go unappreciated. For some reason, I can see her counting the seconds, not for any reason at all. I wouldnt say its something particulary good nor bad, but Inej doesnt give me the 'let me kiss your words away' signals no matter the situation. The phrases that would fit more would be "We will get through this", "Stay strong, for you", "Lets face it together" or "We shall see each other once more". She seems like the type to keep her affairs secret, but at the end of the day, I also dont think she would mind PDA all that much.

KUWEI YUL-BO

I know the fandom likes to joke that Kuwei is the bad kisser between the two, seeing as to how Jesper was left 'disappointed' even before knowing the truth behind who he was actually kissing... But I dont think that had to do much with the kiss itself. We were told that Jesper liked Kuweis body plenty enough, but even if it were really Wylan (both in shape and spirit), Jesper wasnt in the right space, and Kuweis silence and mannerisms didnt do much to help.

Now, this is a personal headcanon, but one of the habits I think he might pick up in the Little Palace would be scratching his nose or covering his mouth before he goes in for a kiss. Or well, I like to imagine that being his tell among all the snarky comebacks, vicious flirting and sly glances. And seeing as to how playful he is with his powers and how much he grows to use them for mischief and otherwise in KOS, I like to think that his face is always warm to the touch as Kuwei himself is constantly touching it. Random instert, this man unironically likes lemons and you will without a doubt taste quite an assortment of teas while with him.

Some people care about the emotional setting, some like keeping it casual, and some like having that perfect mix of both. Kuwei might acknowledge that in different ways and act accordingly, but I also think he might care more about the physical setting and connect good actions with places rather than specific people or mutual feelings. This man is a certified tease, unless you pull him towards you which is exactly what he wants, he is 100%, absolutely ready to keep a partner on the edge of their seat, kiss the corner of their mouth, or maybe with the lips barely touching. Instead of licking his own lips out of habit or to seduce, he would lick yours. Kuwei being a tease might also be a way for him to set up walls? In a sense that hes reminding both himself and the person hes kissing that this is just a kiss and it doesnt mean anything. And when hes kissed by someone he loves and trusts, hes downright pathetic, super soft and annoyingly sweet about it.

I dont know where else to put it so it will have to be here, but I like to think he chewed on his lips a lot as a child and whilst in captivity, leaving him with barely visible indents once he reached adulthood. When it comes to the type, Id say he could end up enjoying goodnight kisses next to the fireplace or lit by the flame in his own hand more than he would like doing anything in the early morning. Kuwei tends to get frustrated and bored easily so that might lead to certain effects as well, more specifically the speed, angle and desperation. He has hid for long enough and doesnt much care about who sees what, only whether they got a nice view from wherever they were standing at the time.

NINA ZENIK

Nina has practiced CPR from a very young age (I wouldnt call any of those a true kiss by any means, but it will make slightly more sense in just a moment), we see her perform one on Kaz in the books without hesitation, so I doubt her first 'kiss' was particularly enjoyable or wholly consentual or that she even remembers it. Perhaps from that, her kisses would grow to be particulary breathy in the future, although that doesnt mean its some kind of rule or that its not just a result of her personality being put into how she goes about it. We already know temple kisses are her thing among some other stuff, but she also doesnt seem to have a similar kind of bond with any other type that is not at neck level or above. Shes fine with them, but always seems to go to certain spots herself when she has a choice, singing and laughing through all of it. As Matthias tends to say a lot, the chase is a game to her, whether on top or beneath, she still wins.

Her skin is said to be soft, and supposedly so are her lips, plus the girl is a Heartrender and that surely results in many privileges. Surprisingly enough, I wouldnt say she is particularly experienced in the world of romance, even if her talent at sweet-talking might suggest otherwise. Perhaps shes had flings, one or two, maybe even a relationship at some point, but I dont see much more in my visions of her backstory. "Dont you want to play with me?" and "Cant you handle it?" are some of the repeating phrases in her vocabulary, but oh, it only gets worse once she feels well and truly romanced, swept off her feet as one might say, and that takes lots of effort. Its a good thing we know Nina has some high expectations, that way all of us can be her personal wingmen.

If anybody could obtain the famous movie achievement of leaving a string of saliva to connect her lips with her partners for just a few more moments, it would be Nina. Speaking of such things, she may also be the only one for who the 'let me kiss you against this wall so that they dont spot us' scenario might actually work (in theory), or at least give her enough time to incapacitate them during their confusion since she tends to be quite loud appearance wise. Likes being attended to and coddled, and no kiss has a chance without a firm grab or two. Will die if you do a tango dip with her in your arms. She is one of the biggest fans of mistletoes and finds it extremely romantic. Sometimes, when she is invited to watch a play or show, she will turn around and kiss her partner whenever the actors do. "Consider me madly in love. With the kisses, not you. ... But maybe also you if you did it again."

MATTHIAS BENEDIK HELVAR

And finally, we have our romantic-at-heart of the group, Matthias. Now, his and Ninas romance is the most obvious and out-in-the-open throughout the whole duology, and frankly he is the one I had the most trouble with writing, but the difference between seeing their first kiss from Ninas perspective and the one of Matthias is that theirs was his first kiss ever. All of his actions leading up to it, as well as those after, are a promise in some way or another, and Im not only talking about his vow to her. Nothing could have prepared me for when he lifted Nina straight off her feet and held her there as he kissed her, yet it was also the most in-character thing he ever could have done.

Matthias will absolutely, every time, start an hour long conversation on what led him to this moment, if it is the right time, the right place, the right everything... He will continue up until he himself is basically internally shouting at his own mouth to shut itself (he has very low patience despite everything mentioned above) or his partner takes the initiative themselves. The second option is prefered by both parties and a 5-star whine is the expected plus-one to excellent service. He is the type to gulp when you get too close. Will go mad if you can tell when he is holding on by a thread despite his lack of many facial expressions, especially if told something along the lines of "Just lose control, love".

He is particularly sensitive for textures. All humans are to some extent, the lips have more nerve endings in them than fingertips, but Matthias is the one who is fullfilled by it the most and frequently says stuff related to it like "Are you wearing chapstick?" or "I can feel the dip of your scar". Often acknowledges indirect kisses. Matthias has once said that kissing isnt about romance, that it should be proper and only done as a follow up to a conventional Fjerdan courtship, and while lots about him has changed during his canonical relationship with Nina, I think he might still enjoy going through at least some of these with somebody who might appreciate his efforts. Matthias is still highly religious even if he is now seeing the world from another perspective and there are some cultural things that for him go deeper than just tradition. In a very specific headcanon of mine, he has grown up fantasizing about having to lift up your chin to do it, and so now he does so even with taller partners who can reach his mouth just fine.

He would 100% take the 'Will you love me if I was a worm' jokes way too seriously. "How am I supposed to handle a worm? I could hold a butterfly, maybe kiss you if you were a wolf (but thats after a very extensive inspection of your molars)". Kisses the back of your neck after putting on a necklace. Pretends that lipstick stains dont turn him on to the highest setting.

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#six of crows #grishaverse #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #wylan van eck #inej ghafa #kuwei yul bo #nina zenik #matthias helvar #kisses #character analysis #*screams into the void*#hope you enjoy #feel free to share your thoughts #💚🖤🧡💜💛💙❤️#fandom ships #writers on tumblr #fanfiction

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arthurtaylorlester · 1 year ago

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you may have seen my previous theory on wtf is going on with john doe malevolent, but i have more proof this time to show for my hypothesis!

in episode one, we first hear someone turning on a radio, presumably in a car, listening to “You call it madness (but I call it love)” by Russ Columbo (not the 1946 version by nat king cole trio we all put in playlists lol), then arthur gain consciousness

afterwards, they are in bookstore when a radio starts playing the song again, the entity doesn’t see the radio, but he does recognise the song

both arthur and the entity recognise this is odd, since atp the entity had only been in arthur’s body for 20 odd minutes

but, if you’re caught up, you’ll recognise that this is moment directly parallels a scene in part 33

this, however is not the only time something like this happens. in part 5, john uses a turn of phrase

this moment is soon after arthur’s month-long coma, so unless lily had been reading robert frost to arthur (which john would’ve most certainly mentioned when arthur brought it up), he shouldnt have any way of knowing this sentence.

the first time we hear the poem in full is in part 26

but even still, in the context of the moment, why does john know this poem? he’s had no moment since he came back to learn anything of the sort, even ignoring the time it’d take to memorise something like this.

before this, there are only two instances of 'miles to go before i sleep' appearing, once at the end of part 17 and just before arthur leaps of the edge in part 23

so now, my answer to all these questions is a bit weird.

in part 1, the entity says as follows regarding time in other worlds and the dark world as being timeless

which initially led me to reach the idea that john's forgetfulness in part 33 has to do with the time he spent away from arthur in s3, which he claims he does not remember.

i think he was actually sent back to the dark world and spent an indefinite time there, since there is none, causing him to forget finer details. but that raises leaves many questions unanswered, like why did the entity know the song before ever being with arthur?

i think it's time fuckery. the entity we see in part one could be some sort of future!john, at some point he could be sent back to the dark world indefinitely once more, than brought back via the book at a different moment in time that from which he left, the past.

this theory makes a lot of leaps, but it also gives reason to why john already knows call it madness and miles to go, i believe he might use both of these as some sort of anchor to not go mad himself in the dark world, thought he does end up losing parts of himself and of arthur. still, he isnt completely gone, which is why he's eventually capable of becoming john again

it also kind of explains the first sentence the entity ever says in the show

of course, on your first listen you assume he means what happened to arthur a few moments prior, but with the context of a timeloop, he could be referring to the whole shows events, even what we havent seen

later, when john says he doesn't remember who he is either, and arthur says

i understand that the entity knowing what he is might help them both, but it's still a weird thing to say. arthur has just woken up with a corpse and voice in his head, and acts like it's not his first time doing this? i'm not saying he'd remember, but it would make more sense if he was partially amnesiac to the future/past loops like the entity/john

also, i think it's important to distinguish the entity and john, the former being an amnesiac john who has only the potential to become john, but could just as easily become yellow.

last point is, obviously, also a massive stretch.

in part 9, after their first consequential argument (as in it nearly gets them imprisoned), arthur tells this fable to john

which yeah, could be foreshadowing john being the king in yellow in the s1 finale, but. it wouldn't make much sense since john doesn't permanently get him and arthur killed?

i think it goes like this, if it lines up with my theory.

john starts forgetting about the dark world, starts getting dicier and riskier with his and arthur's choices, whether it be about his deal with kayne or other future lies, but he pushes and he keeps pushing until both he and arthur meet their end. at some point, he gets himself sent back to the dark world and arthur killed/otherwise indefinitely unavailable, and as he does, he says "it is in my nature", so the last thing he tell arthur isnt sorry, but an excuse. perhaps they end on bad terms, after all he's promised to not let him drown.

he is left there to rot in his misery with only faint memories of his new self (significant moments, like him telling arthur the poem) and after he starts forgetting, a long time for a place with no time, he is pulled into the book in the past, eventually reaching arthur again. he might recognise arthur's voice, but he might not remember enough at this point, having turned back into the entity, no longer being john.

but hey. this is based on my relisten of s1 and little else. i love stretching the canon to make it make sense lmao

edit 05/12/23 — further proof i only now noticed in episode 30 “The Tenant”

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enginator2000 · 1 year ago

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worst popular infinite headcanon?

oh my. this one got long so im going to spare peoples dashes by putting this under a cut haha

anyways my answer is: making him out to be a little crybaby who is driven purely by revenge and sadness to make the world pay for shadow killing his squad mates, whom he loved in a normal way and saw them as family or whatever. it makes his character so goddamn flat and boring bc thats such a standard villain motivation, and it entirely strips away a lot of his personality even when theres already so little to work with LMAO

i know ive spoken about it at length in the dog&hog server but to me, infinites most notable trait is that hes selfish

in the prequel comic rise of infinite (yay, prequel comic talk. everyones favourite, i know) he deliberately ignores any protests from his gang against accepting eggmans deal of working with him, because eggy singles him out and offers him a place at his side to bring his fantasy of ruin into reality. not infinite and his crew, just infinite

(image has two comic panels. in the first one, eggman is reaching a hand out to infinite as he says "now you are an interesting guy. i like you. how about i hire you to lead my forces? together we'll take over the world!" in the second panel, one of the jackal squad members says "boss! dont be tempted by him. we'll be fine!")

and infinite says yes after briefly talking about how he personally feels bored and tired of how the world is right now

(image has two panels. in the first, infinite is mumbling to himself, first laughing and then saying "interesting. all this time ive been going through the motions. ive actually grown quite tired of the world as it is." in the second panel he stands and says "lets do it doctor! i'll help you change this world!")

again, its a decision based off an entirely personal and individualistic opinion that only takes his own feelings into account. you would think that if he valued his squad to the extent that they were "like family" to him, he would have listened when they said he shouldnt make a deal with eggman. if he actually cared about them as much as he cared about himself, he would have trusted them enough to say no. instead he only thinks about what he wants and what he can get, not about what will happen to the others

ive always been of the opinion that infinite used his squad and position of authority as their leader to prop himself up and viewed them more like underlings or subjects that he could order around and be superior to, rather than equals whose opinions and input he valued. maybe he started out having more camaraderie with the other jackals, but it certainly doesnt show by the time we get to the events of the prequel comic, and even less so when we get to episode shadow/the main game

the idea that he saw his squad more like tools to make himself look better than people also makes more sense because when in episode shadow, eggman calls infinites squad "useless" directly to him and all infinite says is "yeah, yeah" in a very uncaring fashion. even when he then spots shadow and says "you.. you destroyed my squad!" its entirely unconvincing to me that he said it out of sorrow or sadness; to me it was more like simple anger that it happened. because now without his little group of followers that looked up to him and did whatever he told them to, he had nobody to feel superior to. he couldnt go on any more power trips by being The Boss bc there was nobody left to indulge him, no one to stoke his ego, nobody to be the boss of. so thats why he felt slighted by shadow in the first place; how dare this hedgehog take away what made him feel special and important. and then of course the ensuing humiliation that came afterward was just the icing on the shit cake haha

it also explains why infinite never brings up his squad in any of his monologues (besides the prequel comics and episode shadow being obvious afterthoughts to the main game loool); he just doesnt care. if anything, their loss was his gain bc it pushed him towards acquiring the phantom ruby and getting to go on the ultimate power trip of world domination and near total subjugation of the population. i think that also ties into his mindset that friends make you weak and you cant rely on anyone but yourself; in his case, thats literally true. if he hadnt lost his squad, if he had initially listened to them, the chain of events we know well would not have come to pass and he would not have gotten to become the powerhouse he did. he would have still been leading his monotonous life and following the same old script. from his perspective they really did hold him back, and only once they were gone was he able to become stronger. he reiterates this by thanking shadow in the dlc for doing what he did in mystic jungle (killing the jackal squad and kicking infinites ass) bc otherwise he wouldnt have gotten the incentive he needed to take on the mantle of becoming a super powered weapon

and if you want some more evidence thats admittedly a lot more of a stretch, you could also interpret infinite creating a posse of past sonic foes as him filling the void of using the jackal squad that was created after shadow had taken them down. he gets to control people again (even if theyre clones that had no choice but to obey him but nyeh i told you it was a stretch), he gets to be a leader again

idk, i just think that having a sob story as a main motivation is (funny joke here) weak. i have never once thought that infinite needs to have some kind of sympathetic or tragic backstory. and maybe thats just my own personal bias coming through bc i prefer villains that are evil for reasons like their moral philosophies or have some kind of goal that makes the audience go "maybe they do have a point tbh" and villains that are just evil for the sake of it over villains that say "my mom died" as if that is any kind of justifiable explanation. imo it almost always comes off as them making an excuse, and its lame. just own it, yknow?

so yeah if i could block one thing from the minds of infinite fans it would be the hc that infinite was tightly knit with the jackals and wanted what was best for them. bc with all the evidence ive seen, its not supported at all, and hes actually the exact opposite; he does what he wants and uses who he wants for his own purposes and gain

also yes i do think shadow straight up killed the other jackals and i do think thats in character for him but thats a conversation for another day

#he said ask #bitter-sweet-coffee #engie.txt #infinite the jackal #sonic forces #sth #jackal squad #as with every opinion i have #remember that this is just that. an opinion #idc what anyone else does #if you want infinite to sob over losing his besties then fine #but dont act like its the most reasonable and backed up interpretation of canon #bc the evidence simply isnt there #im more than happy to enjoy canon all by myself #sitting alone in my i-love-respecting-canon corner

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alexanderlightweight · 1 year ago

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Heyooo first lemme just say that your writting is amazing. Even your darkish prompts are kinda fluffy at the end.

I imagined my prompt in a marriage of inconvenience but it kinda goes on any if yours.

Magnus flies into a rage and destroys either the NYI or alicante itself because Clary attacks Alec because of the secret marriage. Alec ismt hurt or anything but because she dared to do it our favourite high warlock shows the shadowworld that you really shouldnt touch what is his.

Thanks in advance and im looking forward to all your writtings so i can curl up in a corner wispering my precious like Gollum

Ah thank you so much! i really appreciate that and yeah, i'll write something super DDDNE and dark and then write the end and saeth will read it and go 'awww thats cute' but... that's also @saeths. who is @alxndrlightwoods and their opinion of cute things can be a little skewed.

so i'm never really sure until i post where my stuff falls tbh

kay so this is totally random but this is actually going in 'all your cracks i'll paint gold' the deruned alec verse. because it just fit best there and also, it's a bit of a plot twist because clary doesn't care enough about the institute or alicante for her to be bothered or affected in season 1 or 2 by it being destroyed.

i hope you've been enjoying them and enjoy this, thank you for this lovely prompt

<3 lumine

Clarissa Fray is the last person Alec expected to meet on one of the rare occasions he ever leaves Magnus’ loft. The only reason he’s even where he is, is because one of Magnus’ friends is healing an acquaintance of Magnus’. Which means that when asked to go with him, Alec of course said yes.

However, he was not expecting the small redhead that charges into the hospital rune and is seething at him. If not for the wards and magic on this floor of the hospital, Alec imagines that Fray would have caused an incident.

“You, why are you here?” She yells when she sees him and Alec reminds himself that he can’t just rip the stupid little girl’s heart out, even if she is yelling at him like she isn’t the one whose fault is everything that’s happened to him. “You’re supposed to be dead! Everyone is acting like you are. Your mom threatened me! Izzy hates me and Jace is practically a ghost! This is all your fault Alec!”

“My fault?” Alec scoffs because he’s not touching the rest of her statements and is about to argue when he realizes it’s pointless. He can’t argue with someone caught in a delusion and Clary Fray is caught in a delusion of her own grandeur and self-righteousness. “Forget it, Fray. I didn’t come here for you. You’re not even supposed to be here.”

“Well, I didn’t come here for you either, but that doesn’t matter. You’re going to help me save my mom, Alec. The warlocks won’t listen to me without Magnus, and I heard all about it while Dot was being healed. You ran to Magnus. You’re the reason why he stopped helping me, why no one can solve the potion.”

“Actually, I stopped helping you because you disgust me, and I have better ways to waste my time.” Magnus says and Alec relaxes, watching him come out of the shadows, the gold of his eyes a deadly promise in the dark. “In fact, watching pond scum form is a far less a waste of time than listening to you.”

—

Magnus binds her easily and throws her through a portal, following leisurely with his arm around Alexander’s waist, his boy pressing kisses to Magnus’ temple.

“How does she know I’m with you?” Alexander asks him, worry in his voice and Magnus regrets trusting Dot as much as he and Cat have. Apparently, she’s not nearly as trustworthy as he thought, if she thinks sharing information about her High Warlock’s lover is acceptable.

Because Alec is no longer a shadowhunter and he certainly doesn’t have any ties to the clave, not like Clarissa now does. Yet for some reason, Dot shared something that she only ever heard because Magnus lowered his guard enough to share with Cat while he helped heal her.

It’s such a disregard for Magnus’ privacy as well as Cat’s and also, means that Magnus and she can no longer talk around Dot freely. Which is disappointing on many levels.

“A small mistake on my part, darling.” Magnus assures him, “I’ll handle it. She won’t be able to share it around anymore and if it looks like they’ve tracked us, I’ll simply move us again. The clave won’t be able to take you from me, darling. Not even if they begged or bribed me.”

They’re on a roof by a mundane college, an artistic one and while Magnus could feel pity for all the lives he’s about to ruin, it’s hardly his fault that Clarissa Fray doesn’t consider the consequences of her actions.

“I normally try to avoid mundane losses, even just their structural losses. However, even if you should decide not to be a shadowhunter, Clarissa Fray. Remember that because of your greed, this avenue will always be lost to you.”

With a flick of his power the fire alarm goes off and Clarissa is struggling and yelling against the magic keeping her quiet, eyes wide as the last lingering vestiges of the college flee and, as they all watch, Magnus lights it up.

Several parts of the building suddenly imploded. Little clouds of smoke and bright bursts of flames, mortar and ash and debris raining down as Clarissa screams and cries. She’s showing more emotions for the idea that the college brings than when her little friend died or when she’d been supposedly grieving the pain, she caused Alexander and Magnus rolls his eyes.

“How tragic. Who could have predicted that a gas explosion would take down the school you hoped so dearly to join.” Magnus tuts and he pulls Alexander closer, and he sighs in contentment when his boy leans back trustingly. “Perhaps, you should learn to watch where you step, little shadowhunter. Not everyone will be so kind as to light the way and the world of shadows is a very dark one.”

Magnus portals away, leaving her to watch the place burn down and without really any interest in staying. She’ll either manage to free herself or be found by her blond shadow and Magnus doesn’t care either way, not beyond getting Alexander away.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that, Alexander.” Magnus tells him, when they’re back on their roof and Alexander is sitting on the moss, his knees tucked to his chin as he stares at the pond with waterfowl and koi that Magnus keeps.

Magnus very sneakily magics a little dish of tidbits to Alexander, and he’s given a weary but grateful smile before Alexander throws out the pieces. The koi dart over even faster than the birds, greedily gobbling as much as they can from the surface before following the sinking pieces down. The few birds that there are ignore them, coming straight to the edge, spoiled little creatures that they are.

They come right up to Alexander and snack out of his hand, ignoring Magnus with glaring orange eyes and ruffling their bloodred feathers.

“I can’t believe they all like bones so much.” Alexander murmurs, “it’s a good way of disposing of it though.”

Magnus hums in agreement, because that’s exactly why he has these variants on their roof.

"I loathe her." Alexander finally whispers, "I wanted to rip her heart out. She was talking to me just like she did when she first showed up. Ungrateful, demanding, like nothing in the world matters compared to what she wants. I just wanted to kill her. Make sure she can't cause any more damage to my life, Magnus. I can't I lose anymore."

“It's alright darling, I have you and I’ve taken care of it. Clarissa will be unable to speak of where you are or that she’s seen you. Or that you're with me. Dot has also been taken care of, as apparently, she was under the impression that she enjoyed certain privileges that she does not.”

Which simply meant that she was relying on their precious dalliance to smooth things over and hadn’t expected Magnus to actually be serious about his boy.

A misunderstanding of course, but a grave one on her part. Not, however, an unforgivable one.

As long as she keeps her mouth shut from now on.

#lumine writes #writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #malec #shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #clary fray #shadowhunters au #my fics #my fanfics #my ficlets

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im-a-chunky-potato · 7 months ago

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gifting you another title

fyolai - like playing with a knife on a breathing ribcage

[admittedly i got that one from one of monikas poems from ddlc but its too fyolai coded not to use]

[bsd is invading my brain, even in the places it shouldnt be sigh]

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT I HAD A SUDDEN BURST OF INSPIRATION TO DO THIS.

Nikolai was human. Oh so utterly human. It was in the way his heart beat thrummed so softly, the way his breath turned foggy on a cool day.

He wanted to rip it all away.

So it was simple. He'd cut and swing and kill and maim, all for the chance of escaping the title he was given at birth. But murder without a motive is just proof of one's human nature. Thus he lived an endless chain of remorse and regret.

And that was the day he met Fyodor Dostoevsky.

Fedya. Such an odd being. A demon to the core. Nikolai watched him kill with the skill of a dancer, so graceful and calm. It looked like more of an art than bloodshed. Nikolai admired that.

So, perhaps in the hopes of becoming just like him, or perhaps because of the strange emotion in his heart, Nikolai would follow the man and become his assistant.

He was...conflicted. Fyodor was certainly the perfect person. Too perfect. It was like this was all planned out. Like fate was pulling his strings to some unknown tune. He hated that.

But Fyodor whispered sweet lies that had to be true. Stories of freedom and unexpicable joy. The things his heart so desired to be true.

So he'd cut and and swing and maim. And slowly, his heart was chained more and more to this man.

He pretended to ignore it. He told himself lies of how he could leave at any time and wouldn't care a bit. But the Russian was a drug and he was addicted.

For a while things just became a blur. He'd be covered in blood he didn't know the cause of. He'd smell smoky or his coat would be charred, yet he couldn't remember at thing.

I suppose that's what happens when your mind is at odds with itself. A certain kind a self destruction, the kind that leaves you strangling for air.

And that was when Fyodor told him the thing that changed his world. Fyodor understood him, he was his friend. Fyodor was the key to all, he was the savior Nikolai desired.

Nikolai could ignore the chains for a while after that. He could have freedom soon! That was all that mattered. He pushed through the pain and was a good friend. He praised and followed his new Savior.

But then came along the book. When Fyodor first told him of it, he couldn't breath. A book with the power to control others. There was no way to prevent it. There was no way to tell. You would be trapped in its web of lies as soon as ink poured along the page.

And suddenly he was back where he started. He could never tell what was a lie. He couldn't stare at his reflection, couldn't face the lie he had set up for himself.

There was only one option. Follow Fedya. He didn't mind that at all, but now he was trapped. Fedya was his friend. No he wasn't. Yes he was. It was all so complicated.

And even then, Fyodor started descending into some kind of daze. Nikolai knew that underneath it all Fyodor saw him as a tool. He was irrelevant.

But that couldn't be true. He drowned out the fears and voices. He'd cut and kill and swing and maim with a lost mind, scurrying for the light.

The final straw was Sigma. A man born from a book. Nikolai so foolishly thought Fedya would show some regret for punishing someone with a fate like that.

But even before then there were people like Ivan. The groups and men that Fyodor so forcibly controlled.

Nikolai was lost. So lost. He was stuck with no clue where to go. He needed to escape his cage and find his wings, but he needed to stay in his cage in the hopes of getting them.

Thus he reached the conclusion. Kill Fyodor. The mastermind. The one who trapped him. The one who showed him the way.

He wanted this. He did. He really did. He didn't.

Fyodor knew this. He let Nikolai indulge in the game. They toyed and gambled. Fyodor could tell Nikolai was crumbling. Nikolai could tell Fyodor was seeing him as an obstacle.

Die. Die Die Die. Nikolai just wanted death. From whom, he couldn't tell. He needed the gracious hand of death to take one of them away, to finally gift some kind of freedom.

A dangerous game they played. Yet Nikolai couldn't bring himself too it. Anytime he was close he pulled away. It angered him so much, the way he trembled and shook at the thought of it.

Why was he like this. Why couldn't he just agree on something. The tears would overwhelm him, never spilling out but settling deep in his heart.

Somehow Fyodor always knew. No matter how high the mask he wore was or the grin he beared, Fyodor saw through his lies. He hated it.

But while he was arrested Nikolai was even more hateful. The silence was overwhelming and the fact he grew so attached to Fyodor was eating him alive.

So he grabbed some vials. Some liquid. He had to make his performance excellent. It could quite possibly be his last.

One of them had to die. Wouldn't this be exciting. Who would be the first one to Crack.

#HEUGH #Sorry this is terrible ^^#fyolai #bsd #bungou stray dogs

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ap0llx · 2 months ago

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oh thanks a bunch and yeah that's y I follow all gp fans I see lol. And well then I def get u then appreciate the honesty. And TBH I am interested in the GP SU crossover u mentioned sounds like u got some ideas for it

I DO TOO TRUST LMFAO and if I dont follow them then I definitely know of them and have seen their work before 😩 And no problem!! Ty for being understanding 🫡

Re: SU/Grepre crossover; I have a few ideas but theyre just nebulous concepts:

-Be really fucked up if Dorothy was pink diamond

-Edaurent would be made much, much worse by having access to eachothers inner worlds. They are NOT compatible and they need to stay outta there. Laurent can't be trusted not to misuse/mishandle or be selfish with any personal information gleaned from a fusion between them, and Makoto is too empathetic for his own good. Knowing what Laurent has been through and extending any amount of empathy or pity for him will most certainly blow up in his face in a painful way. They shouldnt do this. Yes I'll probably still draw it

-Abby is definitely a quartz soldier. That bit kinda writes itself 🤔

Thats all I got for now but I'm also about to head off to my second job, so 👀 plenty of time to mull it over!

#ask box #Ty for asking me to elaborate!!! 🫡🫡🫡#great pretender

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goldstargloww · 1 year ago

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(plain text below the cut!)

(tl;dr: the watchers underestimate how much they need to eat emotions to truly give everyone an emotional blank slate for the next game. i like this.)

hm. so yknow how the watchers eat emotions between games but also sometimes they fuck it up and dont eat enough and thats why things like pearl and cleo were a bit too traumatized so the listeners swapped em out for a session (because pearl and cleo's trauma from double life was a New Level Of Fucked (cc!martyn's words lol) and the watchers didnt eat enough of their emotions)

i think or at least headcanon that there's been a ton more instances of that just, the listeners havent been able to do anything about it or it hasn't been significant enough a problem for the watchers to notice, or actually maybe the watchers just don't care, or maybe they enjoy it

like scar and grian. martyn and ren. scott and jimmy yeah sure they should remember their past partnerships but not feel anything about it yeah sure they should remember their past experiences but not how they made them feel

martyn should remember that he was the red king's hand

but he shouldn't feel the need to ally with him in every single game following apart from where he couldn't

he shouldn't have an averse reaction to killing his closest ally by their request, and feel the need to defend himself for doing so, "it's not betrayal if it's requested"

he shouldn't feel the need to tie the dogwarts banner around his waist in ren's honor

he shouldn't feel a shift in comfort when ren's not a part of a death game for the first time

scar should remember that grian swore his life to him after making a mistake resulting in scar's death, and even after the deal ended grian stuck around til the end and the only reason scar died to grian's hands was that scar let him

but he shouldn't gravitate towards grian as soon as he's left alone without allies, he shouldn't feel the need to be that generous towards grian in giving him and joel a life and setting them all on yellow, he shouldn't end up visiting the southlands as much as he does considering their history within that one game

he shouldn't feel overly comfortable relying on grian to keep their lives safe and fall back into nearly the exact same habits as he had in third life

he shouldnt immediately go to grian when he's paralyzed for a session because if grian pushes him away every time scar wants his company, he'll just have to get it when he can't push him away anymore

pearl should remember that scott, her teammate just last game, thought she betrayed him before they even met for the first time this game and left her alone up until the short time leading up to their bittersweet end where he killed himself for her, should remember that her one and only companion tilly was killed without mercy because pearl was regarded as a danger to everyone around her including herself and not worth trying to tame

but she shouldn't feel as betrayed as she does when scott leaves, she shouldn't feel anything about their history together just last game

she shouldn't go to martyn asking for tilly back and then stand speechless as he drops gunpowder on the ground saying he cremated her she shouldn't feel the need to go asking in the first place and certainly shouldn't be triggered by something she isn't supposed to care about anymore

she shouldn't have to be pulled out for a session to be given time to recover, she should've recovered already

scott should remember that he₁ and jimmy₂ were husbands, that jimmy₂ died when scott₁ wasn't even there, that he₁ had to bury him₂ himself₁ and live out the rest of his₁ life because his₂ was cut off so early on

but he shouldn't be saying "love you" to jimmy, shouldn't be getting upset when jimmy doesn't say it back, because jimmy got more time to recover than scott did after third life and so jimmy doesn't care anymore but scott still very much does

he shouldn't go seek out a single partner to stick by and stay honorable and loyal to for each and every game following, and as soon as they're compatible he shouldn't feel the need to make it as gay as possible to compensate for what he lost

they should remember all of that, yeah. but they shouldn't feel anything about all of that apart from logical conclusions they may draw after the fact. they should feel emotionally disconnected from everything that happened in the past games. …right? because that's what happens with everything else, why isn't it happening properly? maybe whatever does the feelings wipe isn't perfect. maybe whoever feeds on their emotions underestimates just how much they should, sometimes :>

[plain text:

hm. so you know how the watchers eat emotions between games but also sometimes they fuck it up and dont eat enough and that's why things like pearl and cleo were a bit too traumatized so the listeners swapped them out for a session (because pearl and cleo's trauma from double life was a New Level Of Fucked (cc!martyn's words lol) and the watchers didn't eat enough of their emotions)

i think or at least headcanon that there's been a ton more instances of that just, the listeners haven't been able to do anything about it or it hasn't been significant enough a problem for the watchers to notice, or actually maybe the watchers just don't care, or maybe they enjoy it

martyn should remember that he was the red king's hand

but he shouldn't feel the need to ally with him in every single game following apart from where he couldn't

he shouldn't have an averse reaction to killing his closest ally by their request, and feel the need to defend himself for doing so, "it's not betrayal if it's requested"

he shouldn't feel the need to tie the dogwarts banner around his waist in ren's honor

he shouldn't feel a shift in comfort when ren's not a part of a death game for the first time

scar should remember that grian swore his life to him after making a mistake resulting in scar's death, and even after the deal ended grian stuck around until the end and the only reason scar died to grian's hands was that scar let him

he shouldn't feel overly comfortable relying on grian to keep their lives safe and fall back into nearly the exact same habits as he had in third life

he shouldn't immediately go to grian when he's paralyzed for a session because if grian pushes him away every time scar wants his company, he'll just have to get it when he can't push him away anymore

but she shouldn't feel as betrayed as she does when scott leaves, she shouldn't feel anything about their history together just last game

she shouldn't have to be pulled out for a session to be given time to recover, she should've recovered already

scott should remember that he and jimmy were husbands, that jimmy died when scott wasn't even there, that he had to bury him himself and live out the rest of his life because his was cut off so early on

/ end plain text]

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memecucker · 2 years ago

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Wasn't early Christianity exactly the type of diverse group of wacky cults you would expect from a newly forming religion that's preoccupied with the end of the word? Where does this idea of them being progressive socialists come from? Like the disdain for sexuality was built in from the beginning, what is progressive about that? (Also, it annoys me when people use modern political terms like socialists)I understand why leftist Christians are so desperate about rehabilitating their faith because the current state of affairs suck, but this is kind of cringe.

I like how Debiprasad Chattopadhyaya put it when he said that Jesus (also Buddha) had a "critique of property" which isnt the same thing as "socialism" (though it can have overlaps) and most certainly doesnt imply a generally progressive attitude in other matters.

Like this is definitely an example of people not willing to subject a Christian mindset to critique when they operate on the logic of "the closer you get to Jesus the more Morally Perfect the followers". For example people rarely bring up the Didache which is the oldest extant non-Biblical Christian text (depending on how you want to date things, the Didache actually has a strong chance of predating Revelation!) and actually takes the form of a series of pretty specific rules that Christian communities ought to follow. These rules include (even more explicit) prohibitions on homosexuality and even abortion. Of course there is a history of Christians asserting compatibility with homosexuality or abortion amongst other things but these people would be breaking away from how the early Christians seemed to operate and that shouldnt be a bad thing

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tkorules · 1 year ago

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yknow the whole hetch (really weird name honestly) betraying ranboo. like. originally i assumed the person sending out "rogue frequencies" and the bypass of their system was done by hetch and that the person in the keynote vidoe (not the showfall media, the other one) was hetch. and like. it still could be but. why would they go to all that trouble? and according to the second special announcement they quite literally had to modify the interactive elements.

so. what was the point? it certainly wasnt meant to make hetch more convincing to ranboo as he saw NONE of it. was it meant to make hetch more convincing to the audience? but why would they need to do that? the audience cannot interfere with the social experiments as long as showfall doesnt let them do so. was it to put on a better show? and let me remind you, hetch almost INSTANTLY got the audience suspicious as soon as he needed to make up an excuse as to why ranboo couldnt leave.

and those notes under the posters. hetch didnt mention them. hetch doesnt claim responsibility for any of that stuff so im like.

actually, lets review the info we've seen about these mysterious person trying to interfere with showfalls plans and if anything seems to contradict them being hetch, or implies it.

specifically, let's go over the special keynote first

so, this person, they, as implied, are either 1. sending out a signal, or following one ("Where is this signal going?") but by their later line, when they finally like. actually connect instead of just glitching the screen and words they say ("Is this working?") seems to imply number 1 is whats happening.

afterwards they state that they dont have much time, and dont know what's going on, which feels like a contrast to hetch pretending to know a lot about whats going on, and the inner workings of showfall (he does acttually know i know im just saying with how he acts with ranboo) . and the next thing..

"I don't know what you are"

which feels.. hetch acts familiar with the audience. he knows about them and presumably knows what we are. its also quite literally on the on the site, that while showfall is adjusting to this new domain, they do seemingly know what they're doing here. and let me specifically highlight the specific phrasing. they say they dont know what we are. not who we are. what. which is like. a whole different level of unfamiliarity.

they then go on to say that it already found him (over ranboo's missing posters.) and says it got everyone but them. now this has several lore implications if you think this person is being honest but we're going to focus on how this seems to imply they're a part of the group , unlike hetch who refers to sneeg as "your friend" not our. which since sneeg is quite literally called the taken and is probably one of the people in the "everyone", so thereotically. sneeg shouldnt just be ranboos friend in that case.

they then declare that they have to save them and stop this.

so tldr of that whole reviewing the special keynote, several things that this person says, are discrepancies when compared with how hetch acts which could imply there is actually someone working against showfall entertainment.

another note, when that person connects with us, instead of it just glitching and such, it just. pauses the video until theyre done.

ANYWAYS

this makes the whole hetch plot thing feel like. theres an actual motivation for doing so. which it could just be entertainment yes but . there are now the possibilities its also to: conceal this persons activities. if its just another part of the show it makes showfall seem more unchallengable. and two. if ranboo manages to remember what happened LAST time, he will be far more inclined to not trust this person if they ever try and contact him.

so. that was my rant hope you liked it.

#generation loss #text

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spikeinthepunch · 9 months ago

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ok i was blabbing this on priv twitter but, i saw that sheezy is back which is cool, i did actually like it out of the art gallery sites that had been popping up. i logged back in so i have my profile there tho idk how active i will be

however i keep thinking more about its site management, also in comparison to other websites that have tried the same thing. this isnt a jab at the mods there, but an observation... they have ratings of general, mature, and explicit all with different teirs of whats allowed in terms of things like nudity or gore (and other topics on the mature/explicit teirs). normal thing to see, but the potential issues i start to see are when there are specific visual guides, and specific tags expected for a variety of different visuals that may either be subjective on whether or not they are that thing, or could easily be tagged as something else/something similar but still not be considered properly tagged. plus when you have three different maturity ratings and you say "all of them can have blood and nudity, just different levels of it!" you get that confusion and subjectivity on what may be too much or too little, despite having visual guides.

for example i had a piece i uploaded with (in a large art summary so it wasnt the whole peice) self harm in it, which i tagged "selfharm". however a mod came a added the tag "sensitivetopics" because apparently thats what i needed to tag instead. not anger at the mods here, its great theyre on top of things. but why isnt "selfharm" caught in this system? its incredibly specific, while "sensitivetopics" is not. but thats what the system goes by/expects. even if i had marked it mature and added "selfharm" it still wouldnt be tagged correctly.... and thats an issue. 1) it makes more work for the mods who manually check this 2) its just hard to follow. and if it was more serious of a thing, there could certainly be upset from people if they kind of tagged it right but apparently not right by the mod's rules.

there is always a push for making sure content is tagged better these days so people can curate their experiences. understandably simply having general, mature, and explicit doesnt account for lots of stuff so tags are expected to help out. but getting far to specific on what it expected to only be in those labels is kind of a problem.

but it shouldn't have to be, imo? i think most sites that have loosely defined general, mature, and adult/explicit labels make it work just fine. and enforcing tags for blacklisting can easily lead to more issues. its a great thought to have, to want to make sure things are tagged in a way thats unbiased and simply for users to curate their use of the site. but its never realistic. curating your online space doesnt mean the website should curate it for you by practically promising they will be the one to make sure everything gets tagged all the time no matter what. because its not possible, as much as they may try to get mods to check every drawing. and whether or not the site promised this at all, the failure to achieve it would likely upset users who expected everything to go just that way.

it is tricky, just because of course people could mislabel in a very bad way (explicit marked as general). but those instances of a drawing being under a mature filter but not tagging something specific shouldnt be the focus for every single post on the site, i just see that becoming an issue in the long run-- whether its subjectivity (or the pressure to make more and more tags to get more specific), or just the effort from the mod side.

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daveyfvckingjacobs · 11 months ago

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exactly one person asked so now I am going to Ramble about my silly little pirate crew adhd got me so this is very delayed but here we go

in all honest theyre a pirate crew only by technicality. their current ship, dogma, is a little trading vessel kolvar intends to fix up and sell when she feels its time to move on, and that she acquired through less than illicit means. thats the basics of her deal: join a ship, work up, dispatch of the crew (either breathing or not) and then move on with the ship

the scheme is all her idea, a once solo endeavour, and aleksandr is generally happy to help. viktor thinks its a ridiculous thing and too reckless to be worth it, but he has no choice in what the three of them do for ✨reasons✨

the three of them (eventually will be four, their navigator is the newest character and as of right now unnamed but shes an icon) are my favourite group to create and write about. an elf, a wolf and a daemon walk into a bar kinda thing: it shouldnt work, but it does. theyre all very much outcasts in their own ways

kolvar alvara is the captain and ringleader. shes an elf from javelina, hailing from elven territory relatively close to the capital city of relia that has left its workings very familiar to her (namely the king, guards, trading etc). even though she appears to be, shes not blind and her white eyes are a mark of what is most simply explained as a ‘curse’, believed to have been set upon her by the elven deity who hasnt been seen to his people for decades. it has left her unwanted, shunned and that lore would make this too long and is too unpolished as of right now for me to share properly. kolvar is searching for an explanation for her mark, a way to set it right or demand answers, hence her inability to stay in one place. shes flighty, almost mad, reckless and wickedly smart and its left her highly wanted, throughout javelina and darin in particular

aleksandr gaillot is a well meaning boy from darin, who joined kolvar and viktor relatively recently. somewhat naive compared to them, but just as bold, hes travelling as a way to almost discover himself, and where he belongs. as a davanrian, he has always been a wanderer (their people have no set lands, spread throughout various countries) and that suits him just fine, or so he pretends, but hes always desperate for more. hes fascinated by kolvar and viktor both, and determined to understand the strange pair that they make, even if its slightly from the outside

viktor is the most confusing of the three. no surname, no roots (even he isnt sure where hes from, although the country would eventually become the germany of our/ashs world). born an elf, he was a meddling, reckless, bold young man who tangled with dark magic and it left him, for lack of a better word, damned. it was killed, years ago, and doesn’t know why hes still around as a daemon (although hes not quite that, but its the best word to describe it). all he knows is that his continued existence relies on being shackled/bound to a mortal being, a life force tying him down in a sense. that mortal, currently, is kolvar and he is less than happy about it. hes learned to up with her, but has no choice but to follow along with, listen to and protect her. if kolvar dies he moves to a new mortal, and shes actually the most pleasant hes hand in a few hundred years. viktor is a bitter, broken sort of creature, caught between real life and death and hes less than pleasant for it. always the one to make threats, no qualms with violence, it acts largely as a guard dog

theyre all seeking something, and those somethings are left unspoken between them. they conduct their business, run from the law and from themselves and maybe theyll find something or maybe then wont but itll certainly be an adventure

#viktor is my favourite boy ever I will not lie #love him so much could talk for hours #and the others ofc #need to develop and name the fourth more #shes a serval davanrian (shapeshifter)#oc #orignal character #original characters #original story #tanner writes #daveyfvckingjacobs

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liamgallaghermpreg · 1 year ago

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happy wincest wednesday!! what's the best and worst season for sam to knock up his sister?

happy wincest wednesday vicky!!!! omg thank you for this extremely tailored-to-me ask. i've only seen 1-6, so i can only answer for those.

i love all interpretations of when sam & dean(na) give into their feelings for each other, but i'm personally a post-in my time of dying truther, and think they had sex for the first time in wake of john's death.

oh, my god, this got long:

best season: i'll go with season 2 despite the eventual devastation. because lets face it, their lives are always a mess. but in s2, sam's grief over jess has lessened, and i think he'd finally be ready to reconcile his feelings for his sister. almost losing her in the truck accident and losing john is a lot for him to handle – and we know sam is an internalizer; despite deanna's unwillingness to discuss things, she certainly wears her heart on her sleeve – but sex is something that can happen without words.

i think the conception sex happens after 2x04 children shouldnt play with dead things. deanna finally admits she's having trouble dealing with john's death – that she feels it's her fault, even – and apologizes for her recent behavior. and then follows it up with:

[...]You're the most important people in my life. And now … I never should've come back, Sam. It wasn't natural. And now look what's come of it. I was dead. And I should have stayed dead. You wanted to know how I was feeling. Well, that's it. So tell me. What could you possibly say to make that all right?

oh boy that is a prime lead-in to some in the backseat of the impala lovemaking. no time to bother with a condom. they want to feel each other. a couple months later, it's obvious that deanna's pregnant. and tbh, i think her first instinct would be to get rid of it. (side note: it is my personal hc that john and/or others have knocked her up in the past, and she's gotten rid of it every time. it's the most practical thing to do for a hunter. otherwise you end up with situations like john's or the harvelles). but this is sam's baby. and sam's having visions. deanna's rattling around john's "save sam or kill him" instructions in her brain. playthings happens, and deanna is more sure of her brother being it for her than ever (side note – every ask if they're a couple this season gets even better with dee's pregnant belly in the way).

and sam...sam quietly doesn't argue when deanna wants to keep it, because he's scared of what's to come, and wants deanna to have a peace of him when he's gone.

(another side note: what is and what never should be fully includes a domestic fantasy for deanna in this 'verse).

ahbl is devastating of course, but oh god the wack morality of deanna deciding the deal is worth it because now sam will have a peace of deanna with him when she goes to hell. she convinces herself she's doing it for them both.

them having a child would have s3 play out totally differently, imo. sam wouldn't trust ruby so blindly (possibly going so far as to kill her, become king of hell to save deanna and their child). not that sam doesn't fiercely care for dean in canon, as that's his driving force for his actions in s3, but with a kid on the line? they can't do anything for themselves and they need their mom!! sam's mother is his biggest blank in his life, and he doesn't want [child] to have that too. especially because they both would have died to a deal to save their loved one (not that sam knows that yet).

worse: obvious answer is halfway through s3, because the child would not survive the season finale, and lilith would fully taunt sam over this, driving sam even deeper into his demon blood revenge mission. the wedge in the beginning of s5 drives even deeper because they have this unspoken thing between them, and deanna can't hide her emotions but neither will talk about them.

BUT! i think s6 provides another interesting answer. soulless sam knocking up his sister? he has no qualms about fucking raw, and she can just abort it if she gets pregnant! oh, she wants to keep it? fine, her prerogative. he has other things to take care of. this, i think, is devastating for deanna. and OH GOD, when sam comes back. sam's lack of autonomy is already a very sad and very fascinating theme throughout spn, and look what his body did without his knowledge. he's overjoyed for a child with deanna i think, but constantly grappling with the implications.

thanks for the ask!!!!

#wincest wednesday

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kiriscreama · 1 year ago

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mark our hearts with shame

Whumptober 2023 - Day 2

Prompt: “They don’t care about you.”

Warnings: Canon-typical Violence, Self-hatred, Ambiguous Ending, Graphic Violence, Implied (possible) Character Death

Summary: The League of Villains have reached the end of the line. Tomura has to make a choice.

A/N: lake write the league in character challenge level: impossible. idk man if Horikoshi didn’t want me to love them he shouldnt have made them so likeable ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ somethingsomething redemption through the love of others somethingsomething.

also this isn’t canon compliant past, like, where the anime is currently, i think? regardless, this is not a canon battle lmao

title from Foundations of Decay by My Chemical Romance lol

also on AO3 | whumptober masterlist

Somewhere far away, Toga laughs and it sounds more like a scream. From the corner of his eye, Tomura sees Spinner drop the heroling he’s got by the neck and go running towards the sound. The little brat scrabbles to his feet, tail swishing dangerously, and darts off into another part of the battle.

Tomura pays him no heed. He wants to follow after Spinner, to make sure every member of his party is still standing, but he’s still locked in a fight with the Bakugou brat and the gremlin with All Might’s quirk.

They don’t care about you.

Plus there’s that. His master’s voice at the back of his head, reminding him of things he’d rather forget. Fears that he’ll never voice.

His guard is down for a beat too long, because Deku gets too close. Tomura narrowly dodges a kick aimed for his head. He knows what he should do here. He should catch the enemy by his ankle, wrap all five fingers tight, and let his quirk do its job. He should take both of them down and end this here, in the middle of a half-decimated city, and finally complete the win conditions to achieve total victory. (Or something. His video game metaphors are hazy these days, with less and less time or energy to play them.)

He should kill them, but he’s just… so tired. This fight, as vital as it may be for the main story, feels more like a grind. Tomura can’t remember the last time he got any real rest. Certainly before they moved headquarters to join the Paranormal Liberation movement. (What are they calling themselves these days? He can’t be assed to keep track.) He almost wants to stop.

Another shout in the distance. This one sounds too much like Compress yelling something. Tomura’s stomach lurches, and he drags his attention back to his own fight just as an explosion glances off his cheek.

Bakugou makes a furious noise, though whether it’s at the fact that he missed or the fact that Tomura didn’t try to hit him while he had an opening, he isn’t quite sure.

“Either fight or die already!” he screams. For a second longer than he is willing to admit, Tomura almost considers accepting the latter option.

A crackle in his ear, a forgotten comms unit sparking to life. He throws a hand towards Deku that the boy spins away from easily. His splayed fingers narrowly brush the fabric of his hero costume, but not enough of them make contact to matter.

“Boss, Toga’s bleeding bad and Compress is down for the count,” Spinner screams in Tomura’s ear. He dodges some kind of knock-off All Might ultimate move from Deku. “Dabi’s quirk won’t keep them back forever. Baby Todoroki will get here eventually.”

If he doesn’t flay himself alive first, is the rest of that statement, but Spinner wisely keeps it to himself.

Dabi grumbles nonetheless. “I’ll decide how much I can handle, shitface.” Tomura can picture the flames getting bigger in protest. He can practically smell the burning skin and see the distinct not-pained expression that he’s making.

They don’t care about you.

It’s the only thing that remains from his master in his head anymore. A daily reminder calmly intoning from the back of his mind.

He ducks another blast from Bakugou, swings around and manages to plant a solid kick into Deku’s side. The boy turns his fall into a roll and springs to his feet with his quirk crackling around his skin. Tomura ducks to press his fingers to the dirt and disrupt the ground beneath his feet. Deku springs away just in time and sparks fill Tomura’s vision.

The explosion burns through his shirt and down to his skin, turning pale skin bright red, but he barely feels it.

“Boss! What are we doing here?”

Spinner’s desperation is nearly palpable.

Tomura dodges a fist. He’s not sure whose it is.

He’s tired.

Magne is dead. Twice is dead. Sensei is as good as gone.

“Constitution check,” he snaps out. He watches the herolings’ faces contort in confusion.

Spinner’s sigh crackles over the line. He growls. “Not fucking good!”

“There’s a spike through her stomach. Don’t know if we’ll be able to save her.” Dabi’s voice is more level. The man may be insane as the rest of them, but his skill in keeping cool under pressure is unmatched. “Compress has some kind of concussion, at the least.”

In fact, it’s too level, as if Tomura isn’t in the middle of a brawl (even if his opponent’s attacks seemed to have lessened, as if they’re showing him some strange sort of mercy) and Dabi’s not delivering the worst case scenario. Tomura wonders if there’s any skin left on his arms at this point.

He locks eyes with Bakugou, whose hard glare turns almost amused. He rears back, raising his gauntlets, and oh, Tomura knows this move well. He ducks behind a slab of broken street just as a Howitzer comes barreling his way.

Bakugou survived being stabbed through the ribs. Tomura remembers that. He survived and he got stronger, better than he was before it happened. All Might is missing a piece of his stomach, but he has yet to let it stop him completely.

Toga has a spike through her stomach — and oh, she would love the irony in that, wouldn’t she, like a stake straight through the vampire’s heart. Even if they retreat now, Dabi is right. They can’t save her, not without the Doctor. If they surrender, though, there could be a chance…

They don’t care about you.

But he cares about them. Without his master in his head, jumbling up his thoughts, Tomura can almost admit that. He cares about them, and Toga is dying and Compress could be somewhere right after. Dabi is burning himself alive the longer he hesitates.

There was a time when Tomura wouldn’t care. He thinks of Magne, how her death did little more than infuriate him at the time. He remembers Toga sniffling about it for days, remembers Twice’s dramatic wails and Dabi’s mean smile and Spinner’s righteous indignation. He had only been irritated by their moping and enraged that Overhaul thought he could get away with killing one of His party members, but they’d still been little more than NPCs to him. What has changed in the months between?

He thinks he knows the answer to that. Spending so much time with his party has made them his, and Tomura was never very good at sharing.

They don’t care about you.

Tomura isn’t sure that matters anymore.

The heroes have fallen back. Tomura wonders what Deku had to do to keep Bakugou from ambushing him. But he knows they won’t stay back for much longer. They’re just toying with him, waiting to see what he’s going to do next.

Maybe somewhere in their stupid, pure hearts, they think they’re giving him a chance. Deku talks a lot of shit about saving everyone, even him. “Saving people with a smile.” Tomura’s practically got the damn speech memorized.

Stupidly, naively, Deku believes that even villains can be saved.

“Surrender,” Tomura says into his comms.

“Wha-“

“I said surrender.” It’s sharp. An order. One that he has no doubt they’ll comply with. He can hear it in their shared inhales, in the way the smoke over the rooftops begins to lessen. “Drop the flames after I turn myself in.”

“You got it, Crusty,” Dabi says. Even Tomura can hear the strain in his voice now. He won’t last much longer.

The heroes have them cornered. Maybe it’s for the best

Tomura emerges from behind the slab of concrete and watches the two heroes in front of him straighten immediately. Neither had left their fighting stance. Tomura wonders, briefly, if there's ever a time they aren’t standing at each other’s backs anymore.

He drops to his knees and both of them make cautious steps forward. They falter as he raises his hands.

They don’t care about you.

Well, it’s not like they would be the first. Tomura wears hatred and resentment like a second skin.

“We surrender,” he says, and the words sound a million miles away. “You’ve got us. You beat the final boss.”

It’s an especially sloppy metaphor, he thinks, but it’s enough to make Deku’s fists lower.

“The fuck?” Bakugou says, eloquent as always. His hands are still raised, his feet still planted. He hasn’t yet let go of this fight, but Tomura can see the gears turning in his head. “This some kind of joke?”

Spinner curses again in Tomura’s ear. “C’mon Tomura,” he mutters, low in his ear. “She doesn’t have much longer.”

Bakugou must take his silence for a yes, because he raises a fist and starts to growl, but Deku sticks his hand out in front of him. He’s frowning and muttering to himself, but they’re still too far away for Tomura to hear.

Suddenly, Deku looks up, green eyes locking on Tomura’s as if he can stare straight into his soul. It’s not the first time that laser-focused gaze has been locked on Tomura, but it’s the first that Tomura hasn’t been too focused on fighting or himself to feel the uncomfortable weight of it.

Deku’s brow is furrowed. “Who’s hurt?” he asks, suddenly.

Tomura doesn’t answer, but there must be something in his eyes that tells Deku what he needs anyway, because he moves forward.

As he approaches, Tomura turns on his comms one last time. “Surrender,” he says again. He doesn’t give Spinner or Dabi time to respond before he rips the earpiece from his ear and tosses it towards Bakugou’s feet.

“Shigaraki Tomura, you’re under arrest,” Deku begins, moving to cuff him.

They don’t care about you.

If that was true, they could join the fucking club.

#whumptober2023 #no.2 #‘they don’t care about you’#mha #my hero academia #fic #ham writes fics #shigaraki tomura #league of villains

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brynn-lear · 4 months ago

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hello hi yes welcome this is Berry right here (re)reading this fic (because i forgot i read it before and just... didnt left a comment for some reason)

“Be not afraid.”

yeah sure dawg cuz i wouldn't be afraid of a random tall (faceless) man abt to approach me-

When you ask for his identity, he claims to be a progressive believer from another town. But rather than enlighten you with the true Word of God, he simply keeps you company and indulges your “vices,” leading to hours spent reading together.

honestly? goals. id want a bf like that bro. reading times w/ capitano... except if I'm damsel, I'd yap his ear off so the probability of that is so so so so low.

At one point, he even gives you a special gift, a quill pen of exceptional quality. The feather, pure white with a soft radiance, must have been sourced from a rare bird of prey.

His visits, his constant thoughts of you, the ever-blurring line between want and duty… nothing of his behavior can be attributed to an angel’s inherent love for humanity. If that were the case, his love wouldn’t beget heartache.

bro is me everytime i realize i'm actually adding another person in my short husbando list like no... c-cmon... i cant accept this sign of weakness /j

The truth is, you were never in need of spiritual salvation. From the moment he first laid eyes on you, what Capitano saw was a pure soul—a good person unlikely to commit evil nor fall into true temptation. Moreover, he knows that your sin of disbelief is forgivable unlike your Church’s sins of violence. That so long as you remain as you are, your soul will not be denied paradise, albeit in a realm of Heaven beyond Capitano’s jurisdiction. So why is he incapable of leaving your side?

honestly this paragraph is already such a banger i have nothing of value to add HAHHAHAH

“It was a well-written novel,” he says simply. “Though her sins tarnished her honor, Rosalyne’s sacrifice was an act of love. Her loss did not hinder her faithfulness to Rostam.”

MY WIIIIFE NOOO HAUSA MY WIFE NAH NAPKS O FORGOT THIS WAS ABT MY WIFE NO OOV OSJ HOW DARE DKSm

“I feel the same way,” you muse. “Now I understand why this book was banned centuries ago. Forbidden love between angels and humans…it certainly goes against what the Church taught us about angels. I have to give the author credit for their imagination.”

do you think capitano read some of these novels and have the same visceral reaction of die hard horror fans cringing at the twilight franchise's depiction of vampires as hot sparkly humans?-

Fantasy, erotica, anti-Church publications, first editions of censored books, stories which merely deviated from the Church’s popular depictions of spiritual beings.

capitano once again thanking celestia that I am not damsel cuz we'll end up reading trash otome isekais for the laughs. bro is not gonna like my reading list

Molten Moment belongs to the last category. Little do you know that it was based on a true story, that the author had really formed a pact with a demon called La Signora. Capitano himself is mentioned in the story under his true name. He was the first to hear of Rosalyne’s sin, that being she saved Rostam’s life during a battle. It was a direct violation of God’s orders: Angels and demons may influence humans, but they are forbidden from directly altering a human’s lifespan.

SIGNORA LET ME FIND YOU SIGNORA CMON SIGNO-

In the following years, she married Rostam and lived a happy life with him on Earth.

Real. I'm Rostam btw. Thank you for being a real G, Capitano /silly

Half the time, he couldn’t even concentrate on the text, his human eyes repeatedly drifting to your intense reading expression.

Capitano hey um buddy listen bud maaaaaybe we shouldnt sin like yknow just a suggestion bro do you feel me like heeey maybe celestia would be absolutely SCREWED if you went against them yknow ykn-

Before you can think of another sanctuary, a soldier strikes you.

Ah.

Haha.

Of course. Haha. Oh. Oh well. GG-

“An angel,” he confesses. He takes a step back, widening the distance between your bodies. “I ask that you pardon my appearance. Such was my sacrifice—for my true form, in all of its monstrosity, to be my sole image.”

*sips tea* jokes on you, i'm into that sht-

“You need not serve God nor partake in fruitful labor like the other souls in Heaven. All I ask is that you rest, indulge yourself, enjoy this paradise to the fullest.”

this is the part where damsel's life went from good to great (in my perspective) this is where sht gets hyped up like yeahhhh this is the moment you go "ah oh here we go there's our deranged psycho with a savior (ironic term to use) and hero complex." HAHAHAHAHHA

What was the name of that variety again? Narcissus triandrus. Angel’s tears.

no further words needed. this is just straight up emotional damage.

Think only of eternity with your beloved savior.

jess shot at me then proceeded to load the gun one more time and then before she could fire, capitano went "no. allow me." and then wacked my heart with a big axe.

10/10 read

˖⋆˚♱ଘ Angel’s Tears ଓ♱˚⋆˖

*cries* I thought I was done with Church AU after Priest! Dottore yet here I am with more unholy ideas. Welp, Guardian Angel! Capitano x Nonbeliever! Darling, here we go (；ω；)

Tw:: yandere, psychological trauma, blood, violence, death, religious abuse, MDNI

Note:: fictional depictions of religion

♡ 3.8k words under the cut ♡

♡ From the moment of their creation, angels are classified into the Nine Orders. This hierarchy determines their roles in Heaven and Earth, with higher ranks assigned greater levels of power and authority. A special exception is The Strongest Angel, an individual who is neither a Seraph nor an angel from the First Sphere. Rather, the moniker belongs to Il Capitano, the leader of the Powers.

♡ The legitimacy of his title has never been questioned. As a warrior angel, Capitano’s purpose is to vanquish evil. He is the chivalrous knight in bloodstained armor, the nigh-invincible being who strikes fear into the hearts of demons, the ever-righteous angel bound by a paradoxical duty to partake in violence for the sake of everlasting peace.

♡ It is in a small town in Mondstadt, following his victory over a legion of demons, that Capitano encounters you. It is the hour of mass yet you are nowhere near the Church; rather, you have taken sanctuary in a secluded meadow. A book sits on your lap, not a religious text but a tale of dark fantasy. There is a saintlike quality to your countenance, an air of melancholy as delicate as the flowers which surround you.

✿ ⚘

The moment Capitano appears before you, all peace leaves the meadow.

No, this isn’t right. It is normal for humans to feel fear in the divine presence of angels, yet he is donning his human guise. Nonetheless, as soon as his shadow touches your form, you look up and suppress a shriek, your face losing its veil of apathy.

So what exactly did he do wrong?

For your benefit, he remains rooted to his spot. Clarity comes in the form of your gaze flitting to your book, its title printed on the cover in conspicuous letters, the whispers which leave trembling lips.

“I…I can explain! This book—it’s just fiction! There are no real curses or spells inscribed in the text; it doesn’t promote any form of blasphemy!”

Ah, now he understands. You weren’t afraid of him.

Carefully, Capitano takes a step forward and raises his hand in a calming gesture. A gentle expression adorns his false face.

“Be not afraid.”

✿ ⚘

♡ It doesn’t take long for him to understand your wariness. A glimpse into your soul, paired with your quiet explanation, tells the story of an orphan raised by the Church. Only, your Church is one of many founded on distorted beliefs, of violence preached in the name of a cruel god. As a result, your upbringing was marked by strict rules, corporal punishments, and sermons which painted the image of a hopeless child with a weakness for temptation.

♡ Knowing this, Capitano can’t fault you for forsaking God and your Church. Still in his human guise, he promises his silence and leaves the meadow. But once he returns to Heaven, his first course of action is to apply for a position as your guardian angel. It is an easy process—while that role is typically reserved for the lower ranks, there is no shortage of humans in need of spiritual guidance and protection. He only questions why an angel wasn’t assigned to you when you were in greatest need of one.

♡ Henceforth, Capitano becomes a recurring character in your life. Every week, he visits you in the meadow. When you ask for his identity, he claims to be a progressive believer from another town. But rather than enlighten you with the true Word of God, he simply keeps you company and indulges your “vices,” leading to hours spent reading together. Beyond those meetings, he also watches over you to ward off any demons or humans seeking to harm you.

♡ From your end, you slowly warm up to your mysterious companion. He is a man of few words, but his actions always convey a sense of kindness. And despite his faith, he genuinely respects your beliefs and accepts you as you are. At one point, he even gives you a special gift, a quill pen of exceptional quality. The feather, pure white with a soft radiance, must have been sourced from a rare bird of prey.

♡ Over time, however, something changes. Capitano can’t deny that the faults lies with him. His visits, his constant thoughts of you, the ever-blurring line between want and duty…nothing of his behavior can be attributed to an angel’s inherent love for humanity. If that were the case, his love wouldn’t beget heartache. His love wouldn’t beget the temptation to harm others, rooted not in the name of justice but for your own safety. His love wouldn’t beget lust, guilt, dishonor, desires so sinfully evocative of his own fallibility.

♡ The truth is, you were never in need of spiritual salvation. From the moment he first laid eyes on you, what Capitano saw was a pure soul—a good person unlikely to commit evil nor fall into true temptation. Moreover, he knows that your sin of disbelief is forgivable unlike your Church’s sins of violence. That so long as you remain as you are, your soul will not be denied paradise, albeit in a realm of Heaven beyond Capitano’s jurisdiction. So why is he incapable of leaving your side?

✿ ⚘

“I had a long, long dream. I dreamed that you and I met again in the pure white world that we created.”

As you read the final line, your gaze leaves the book and returns to Capitano.

“What did you think of the story?”

Your shoulder brushes against his own, a tempting sensation. It is all he can do to remain still, to think against seeking out more of your touch, to remind himself that your close proximity is a mere necessity for your current activity.

The left side of the book, bearing the story’s ending, rests in your left hand. The other side is held in Capitano’s right hand, a blank page devoid of hope for a happy ending. When he turns the page, you seamlessly catch it under your thumb to show the next page.

Who knew of the casual intimacies imbued in the act of reading together?

“It was a well-written novel,” he says simply. “Though her sins tarnished her honor, Rosalyne’s sacrifice was an act of love. Her loss did not hinder her faithfulness to Rostam.”

It’s just the two of you again, this time in the library. At the start of winter, you invited Capitano to your workplace. There, in your greatest show of trust, you brought him to a secret room dedicated to texts banned by the Church for promoting “blasphemy.” Fantasy, erotica, anti-Church publications, first editions of censored books, stories which merely deviated from the Church’s popular depictions of spiritual beings.

He was one of the few angels who noticed the changes in Rosalyne’s behavior. She used to be a Throne, an angel with no connection to Earth nor humanity. Yet by some twist of fate, she laid eyes on a brave knight from Mondstadt and began to meet him in her human guise.

He was the first to hear of Rosalyne’s sin, that being she saved Rostam’s life during a battle. It was a direct violation of God’s orders: Angels and demons may influence humans, but they are forbidden from directly altering a human’s lifespan.

He was a silent witness to Rosalyne’s descent. She fell from Heaven, burned by her own flames, yet she had never appeared more ecstatic. In the following years, she married Rostam and lived a happy life with him on Earth.

He was the last to recognize Rostam’s soul at the pearly gates, forever separated from his fallen lover. Such had been Rosalyne’s divine punishment, worsened by her knowledge of this possibility. But what else was she to do? To let Rostam know of her true nature? To drag his soul down to Hell, where he’d be subjected to an eternity of undeserved suffering?

Capitano is no fool. As he read Molten Moment, he began to understand Rosalyne’s sin in a new light. Half the time, he couldn’t even concentrate on the text, his human eyes repeatedly drifting to your intense reading expression.

He closes the book, leaving it in your sole grasp. But before he can stand up from the sofa, you scoot closer and lean your weight on him. The book is placed on a nearby table, forgotten.

“Do you mind?” you whisper. Your right hand, empty since the prologue, traces his left hand.

A moment of silence precedes his response. “You may.”

Wordlessly, you take his hand and intertwine your fingers. A gesture of intimacy, an unspoken confession. Yet as he savors your touch, Capitano wonders if you would harbor the same level of comfort around his true form.

He doubts it. As a Power, he bears an inhuman appearance on par with that of his superiors. It is his true image which has earned him the title of monster by witnessing humans.

Still, he allows himself to indulge in the blessing that is your oblivion. When you look into his two human eyes, there is a soft light in your gaze wholly free of fear.

“Spring is coming soon,” you mutter. “I can’t wait to see the flowers again. Come to think of it, there’s a variety of narcissus which grows only in late spring. It’s very pretty.”

Against his better judgment, Capitano strengthens his grip on your hand. “Shall I take it as an invitation to resume our meetings in the meadow?”

“Sure.” That is when you look up, a small smile adorning your face. “And if you can’t visit for whatever reason, I’ll pick a bouquet and preserve it for you.”

For once, Capitano is rendered speechless.

Rarely do you ever smile. Even to him, you retain your listless disposition—whether it is out of habit or lingering distance, he has yet to discern your reasons. But that is what makes it all the more special, those few instances when he is beholden to your expressions.

He wonders if this is what humans feel in the divine presence of angels, when they are borne witness to all things holy and beautiful.

Your smile is a phenomenon reserved only for the worthiest of souls. And in your grace, he has never felt more undeserving.

✿ ⚘

♡ At the end of winter, a religious war is authorized by the Church of Mondstadt. Shortly after the news reaches your town, Capitano informs you that he will be busy with “work.” He says it during another reading date, featuring Heart of Clear Springs. Before leaving, he kisses your hand and gives you a kind smile. There is a sad look in his eyes, but you don’t inquire further.

♡ In late spring, your town is attacked. With the entire area under fire, from your home to the meadow, you find yourself running back to the sacred building which you’d avoided for years. After all, though the enemy soldiers belong to a different denomination, they still worship the same god as you. In the present, the church is the only place on Earth where you can claim asylum and pray for your survival.

♡ Except every entrance is locked, including the doors to the orphanage. As the army reaches the town square, all you can do is bang on the front doors and beg to be let in. From inside, you can hear the voices of the people that luckily attended mass before the invasion. Some tell you to hide elsewhere, others beg you for forgiveness, a few sound like the nuns and caretakers who tormented you in the past.

♡ Before you can think of another sanctuary, a soldier strikes you. Pain…it has never felt more intense. Through your fading consciousness, you register your body falling and your head hitting the concrete. Blood pools from your forehead and trickles down the steps of the church, tainting it red.

♡ Life flashes before your eyes in a blurry sequence. The static images of God, sermons and bruises, unanswered prayers, people who never believed you or simply didn’t care. A birthday celebrated with your departure from the Church. Sanctuary found in the library followed by the meadow. Yet the numbness remained, each day bleeding into the next in a gloomy haze. In all those years, did you ever feel God’s love?

♡ It doesn’t matter at this point. A small part of you wonders if you should have retained your faith, continued your prayers, sought out salvation in the safety of your solitude. At least then, at the hour of your death, you wouldn’t be confronted with the fact of your humanity. The primal fear of death, the spiritual fear of ending up in Hell no matter Capitano’s reassurances.

♡ Capitano…where is he? Weakly, you call out to him but he doesn’t appear. Of course, why would he? You should feel thankful; it means he is probably safe, wherever he is. Still, you can’t help but wish he were here—if not to save you, as he has done by simply keeping you company, but to comfort you one last time. And those are the thoughts which plague you in your final moments, an unheard prayer on the tip of your tongue.

“I pray that we meet again, myself and the first person who truly loved me.”

♡ ______ died on a cloudy day, one of many people persecuted in the name of God. After the Church was destroyed and its followers slaughtered, their body was buried in a mass grave that once flourished with nature. There was a poignant quality to their countenance, an air of distress as transient as the flowers planted above them.

♡ At least, that is how your story ends from the perspectives of the survivors. But to the angels and demons who witnessed the destruction of your town, your death was only the end of a chapter in your life. In their eyes, Capitano had been present all throughout, an invisible witness to your death, absolute in his refusal to perform an unauthorized miracle.

♡ He remained by your side until the light faded from your eyes. That was when he took notice of the bouquet of narcissus clutched in your hand, tainted with blood despite your feeble efforts to save his gift. A soldier approached your corpse, intending to drag it down the steps for burial; but before they could touch you, Capitano appeared before them.

♡ It was only for a brief second, but the soldier drew back and cowered in fear. In the following days, they were haunted by the memory of the angelic figure who appeared outside the Church of Mondstadt. Or more precisely, the monster who prayed over a bloodstained corpse and took a bouquet of ruined flowers out of their grasp.

✿ ⚘

From the moment you wake up, all peace leaves the meadow.

What happened? Your memory comes back in hazy fragments—death, darkness, blinding light, pearly gates, ethereal figures. Most vivid is the sensation of strong arms and soft feathers, a familiar warmth which accompanied you throughout your journey.

As for your current surroundings, you are in a meadow so beautiful that it brings to mind the Garden of Eden. Flowers of every variety bloom across the scenery, some out of season. The sky is bright, sunless, a canvas of multiple colors. There are no other signs of life.

Internally, too, something feels off. A nearby pond provides a glimpse of your reflection—white garments, gold scars in place of your fatal injuries, your disoriented countenance. If this place is what you think it is…shouldn’t you feel at peace, happy even? And why are you alone?

Your gaze lands on a patch of flowers. Pure white, perianth petals, cup-shaped coronas…the same type of narcissus which grew in your favorite meadow. The flowers point in different directions, as though searching for a sun that does not exist.

“You are awake.”

A shadow touches your form, engulfing you in darkness. It bears a large, unrecognizable shape but such details evade you as you recognize the voice behind you.

“Capitano!” Immediately, you turn around, only to gasp and suppress a scream.

The person before you…can you even call him human? He is incredibly tall, to the point that you must crane your neck to see his face—assuming there is one beneath his iron mask. His body is clad in silver armor, stained blood in some places. A halo, shaped like a crown of thorns, shines behind his head.

But what shocks you are his wings. A single pair covered in radiant white feathers and eerily dark blue eyes. Each eye seems to glow with an uncanny aura.

Dark blue eyes with a striking resemblance to Capitano’s. What more for his long black hair and his solemn manner of speaking?

It doesn’t make your revelation any less unsettling.

“Capitano.” Your voice comes out in a nervous whisper. “Is it really you? You’re a…”

His human face comes to mind, along with the kind gaze you fell in love with.

You feel the weight of multiple gazes on you. “What do you mean?”

“Is this realm to your satisfaction?” he asks. “I beseeched God to create a special paradise for you, cut off from the rest of Heaven. The price is that your capacity to feel negative emotions remains in this realm…though that is preferable.”

Preferable? How so? Right now, you can barely process what he is telling you. You are dead. Your companion is an angel. Your soul is in paradise, but not exactly.

After everything you’ve been through, you were still deemed worthy of a place in Heaven.

“I am sorry.”

Capitano’s voice brings you back to reality. He has never sounded more serious, emotional, repentant. And when you look up…

Is he crying?

Most of his eyes remain open, focusing on you with a fervent stare. But others are downcast, as if unable to face you. And a few appear glossy, blinking back iridescent tears.

“I am truly sorry.” He bows his head in shame, wings folded. “What I did to you was cruel, an absolute injustice.”

You don’t know which eyes to make contact with. “You—”

“It must have been painful,” he continues. “Even if I were to justify my actions, the truth lies in the fact that I tolerated your suffering for my own selfish desires. And that is why I ask not for your forgiveness, knowing I am the one at fault.”

Silence. In light of Capitano’s confession, all you can do is stare at him and comprehend the weight of your situation. What exactly are you supposed to feel, knowing his betrayal? Knowing that regardless of your feelings, you have nowhere else to go in the afterlife?

Yet despite it all, your prayer came true. The two of you were able to meet again.

And that is what compels you to take a step forward, to come closer until you are standing in front of him. “Hey, it’s…don’t cry.”

A delicate sensation blesses his wings—your hands carefully tracing his feathers to wipe away his tears. Several eyes widen in surprise, but all he can see in your gaze is sympathy.

“I’ll admit, it was painful,” you tell him. “Dying alone. But maybe it’s…better this way. If I survived, I’d have to deal with the loss of my home. And who knows what kind of living hell the other Church would’ve put me through?”

Above all, Capitano is the only person whose love you can believe in.

Hesitantly, you take his hand and intertwine your fingers. The next words to leave your lips are spoken with certainty, bringing fresh tears to his eyes.

“I’m sure it was an act of love on your part.”

His reaction is sudden, incurring your surprise. But all you can do is surrender to Capitano’s embrace, allow his free arm to hold your waist and pull you closer to him. His wings wrap around you, caging you in soft feathers and eerie blue orbs.

“Capitano?” You can only look up at him, peering into the contents of his mask.

…It’s like staring into an abyss, a night sky dotted with twinkling blue stars. But in the absence of a human likeness, his words express what a face cannot.

“Never again,” he vows, “shall I allow harm to befall you. That is a promise.”

The hand on your waist moves upwards to caress your face. His touch is light, more hesitant than his previous gestures.

“You need not serve God nor partake in fruitful labor like the other souls in Heaven. All I ask is that you rest, indulge yourself, enjoy this paradise to the fullest.”

A flower is pinned to his armor, right above his heart. You recognize it instantly—a narcissus in full bloom, stained with your blood.

“If you desire a flower, it shall grow at once. If there are any books you would like to read, they shall be brought to you shortly.”

What was the name of that variety again? Narcissus triandrus. Angel’s tears.

“If you are in need of my presence, I shall appear before you, so long as I am not in the midst of battle. And should you ever desire the opposite, I can promise my distance.”

When Capitano looks into your eyes, all he can see is his own reflection. Whatever emotion colors your gaze, it casts his true image in a compassionate light.

“I shall do everything in my power to bring you joy for all of eternity. Such will be my penance.”

“...All right.” With that, you close your eyes and lean into his touch. He feels warm, comfortingly familiar. “I’ll trust you on that.”

Rest in peace, ______.

Think not of your mortal body in the beginning stages of decay.

Think not of your tormentors who are paying for their sins in Hell.

Think only of eternity with your beloved savior.

♡

More Church AU here!! Dottore ๑ Arlecchino ๑ Pantalone

Note:: Please do not send me any Church AU asks/ requests involving other characters or dynamics who are not listed in my masterlist.

Aahhhh it's done....this idea turned out much heavier than expected, but I'm glad that I was able to write this!! I hope you all cried over enjoyed the story of Angel! Capitano and his damsel. They were truly a delight to write for~

Tag a Capitano enjoyer!! @diodellet @navxry @leftdestiny-posts @beloved-blaiddyd @bye-bye-sunbird @yandere-romanticaa @harmonysanreads @mochinon-yah @oofasleep @micchikari @whispereons @thescribeoflostmemories

#$ traded papers #yandere capitano x reader #yandere capitano #capitano x reader #yandere fatui harbingers #fatui x reader #genshin x reader #tw: blood #tw: violence #tw: death #tw: yandere #yandere genshin #i forgot i already read this before and had a 'wait a minute' deva ju by the first paragraphs and i was frantically looking if i sent a #reply or reblog or something bUT THERE WAS N O T H I N G G G G G wHYYYY BRYNN WHYYYYY #anyways im pretty sure i had like a very strong reaction when i first read this. i just. forgor.#crying capitano always ca-peak!tano

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