#and i cant stress enough the meaning isnt in the name

[prisma-palace]

Mind sharing your HMSW designs with the class?/nf

HELLO!!! apologizes for the late reply i forget to check my inbox ^^ i've actually been intending to make reference sheets for em... buuuut i havent gotten around to that yet. so. heres what i got as of now!

(i'll make a big post digging more into specific details and design choices and headcanons Eventually cause i do have a lot to say. but that'll probably be included in the ref sheets when i finally make them. Unless someone asks me about specific details. Wink Wink Nudge Nudge)

mind

spider motifs!!! he has little fangs and an extra set of arms (that i keep forgetting to draw him with Oopsies). the spiderness was Unintentional at first but then i decided to just go with it and lean into it more cause i liked that idea. ill probably eventually redesign him to make him look Even More spidery but that day is not today sorry

his lower set of arms can extend/retract as he chooses. he likes to annoy heart with this. he also installed said arms himself one loop. it confused the Fuck out of heart & soul

HMS are all the same height so he wears heels to be taller cause of his Ruler-Of-Everything complex. and also i just like drawing characters with cunty ass heels

the broken side of his face is a result of the juno incident! his teeth are exposed and the big ol light on that side is his broken eyelight. its supposed to vaguely resemble a sun

also his teeth are blue. yeah

OH YEAH he also has a plug tail. it was a more recent addition so it isnt in these drawings but he does have it

heart

last two are a little old. but they show off his design so it doesnt matter

face feathers!!!!!! makes him look more creaturey :-)

the way his hair parts is supposed to be shaped like a heart

he does have a teeny feather tail but its usually covered up by clothing

his wings are purposefully messy looking, he does NAWT take care of himself. sigh. he cant really fly with them because theyre not strong enough to carry him, but he can hover/glide for short periods of time

hes SOME kind of amalgamation creature. mooostly bird, but nobody really knows exactly what he is. not even himself!

he has claws and sharp teeths hehe

he can Technically see but its VERRYYY blurry, he can only rlly see vague blobs of color. hes also super light sensitive so he wears the blindfold more out convenience than anything else ^^

hes a trans guy cuz im a trans guy and i said so Thank You

soul

right. so the problem with my soul design is that i've been meaning to redesign him for, like, a long time. However i havent actually properly fully drawn my new design for him yet! so instead enjoy what i Could find, put in order of newest to most outdated :-)

devil motifs however theyre not really fully intentional it just kinda Happened. hes not really anything specific to me, just an Unidentified Thing

neck scar. No further comment!

he has two rings on his horns, blue for mind and purple for heart

his middle horn is broken off .. :-)

claws but only on the shadowy side

if he gets particularly stressed or angry his shadow side starts to lose form and get all static-y

star shaped rip on his jeans!

also he has a star patch on his sleeve, as to match with heart and mind, who have a moon and sun patch on their knee and coat pocket respectively!

^^^ the yellow background on his patch is intentional

the eye on his shadow side is always closed. if its open thats how you KNOW you Fucked Up

whole

my whole design also has a problem but its kinda different. and its that. i dont. really. draw him often? what i Do have of him is either Old or not colored. so like. have what i do have i guess ^^

hes literally Just Some Regular Guy

his hair is a combo of HMS's: length/half-circle shape from heart, bangs from mind, ponytail + side thingies from soul

they arent rlly shown in these but he has two bracelets! one is red, purple, n blue and the other is tally hall colors

i kinda gravitate towards his name being CJ. a while ago i saw someone somewhere call him first name "Cash" last name "Something-That-Starts-With-J-I-Cant-Remember" hence the nickname CJ and its stuck with me. but also i havent thought about it all that much so Who Knows

theres a difference between him and "whole". whole is more of a Concept while hes the actual Person

on the rare occasions he manifests in headspace, HMS only see him as a shadowy figure. the closer they get to concord, the more of him gets revealed!

also. you didnt ask for her. but i wanna show her off anyway

love interest

i need to draw her properly sometime soon......

i like to think that her name is stella. as a miracle musical reference. heheh

idk shes very subject to change ill probably fuck around with her color palette sometime soon

i dont have like anything to say about her sorry. i like her. shes fun to draw

[lecliss]

I feel like I'm getting to that point of being a trans gay guy in an online cishet guy space where I'm actually worried about fitting in. Like "yeah my fave animes are definitely naruto, bleach, and demon slayer and NOT the surprisingly emotionally deep manga with pretty vampire boys and a lot of homoeroctic ship tease" and "yeah I definitely like all these male characters more than the sexy female ones just cuz I think they're cool and badass and not cuz they're all pretty boys that I call submissive and breedable in my head". Like sure they have no way of knowing the details when all I say is I'm a guy, but I still feel like if I don't meet invisible expectations, I'll suddenly be seen as an Amogus Impostor ya know?

[batw1nggg]

hi!! odd request could you explain why komahina isnt toxic

IVE BEEN MEANING TO MAKE A POST ABOUT THIS ANON !!!! u read my mind ….. so the reason why i dont consider komahina to be true and real toxic yaoi is because theyre intended to be mutually healing for each other.

their main, striking similarity is their upholding of danganronpa’s harmful societal values on talent. a theme throughout their interactions is komaeda explicitly stating a subconscious belief hajime has and then hajime denying that there’s any similarities in their belief system — everything komaeda says about the inferiority of the talentless is something hajime has always believed, just in a less self aware way. they both end up essentially killing themselves (komaeda in a more literal manner, hajime with the kamukura project) to become something bigger, something worth being called the ultimate hope, because they believe their talent status gives their life no meaning and they feel they have to “make up” for it. theyve always been similar; one sees the other in the things he hates about himself.

this is why, when they fall in love, it’s so groundbreaking for their respective arcs. in realizing the similarities in their belief system, hajime becomes more self aware about how stupid his insecurities are. hajime is able to break komaedas worldview by being talentless and inspiring hope/being an equal to his talented peers from 77b, and this makes komaeda realize that, because they are so similar, HE can do that too (side note makoto does this first when he kills junko, but komaeda knows hajime personally/saw hajimes development play out firsthand so its more effective). they feed into each other’s development and are able to grow from it.

they’re not really framed with much toxicity, and you can especially see this with allllll the visual parallels theyre given by the end of the anime. the juxtaposition of hajime grabbing komaedas junko arm to help him out of the pod and hajime grabbing komaedas prosthetic arm to help him onto the boat (paired with the line “let’s set off, in the name of hope”) symbolizes how interconnected hajime is to komaeda’s arc — his journey from old arm to new arm, from despair to hope to future. (and then theres the scene where hajime ditches ghost chiaki for komaeda too. and u see them eating with each other in the credits.) if they were intended to be toxic, they wouldnt have ended on that note.

and THENNNN theres also the fact that hajime’s really the only person capable of loving komaeda, in the beginning. hajime cant get struck down by komaedas luck, because hajimes the only one with ult luck powerful enough to counter komaedas. their lucks cancelling each other out is a concept stressed by the anime with the kamukoma gun scene. he’s also the only person with the guts to put in the effort to UNDERSTAND komaeda, a concept stressed in komaedas FTEs. hes the first person that physically can, and the first person thats made the effort. this is groundbreaking for komaeda.

theyre not toxic, they just go through a little angst period that ends up being resolved in the end. hajimes confusion towards komaeda and komaedas confusion towards hajime was necessary, they HAD to figure each other out because in doing that they learn something about THEMSELVES. that process comes with some angsting that is often mistaken for toxicity. of course they cant start dating mid killing game, THAT would have be pretty toxic, because a killing game is not a breeding ground for romance. this is why komahina never canonically starts dating - the time frame doesnt cover enough time for that. but they get two love confessions and the whole first fte is explicitly romantic.

[juvenile-mudcrab]

What the scrib

Heres my dwemer oc. He has a name, he just forgot it. He forgot because hes really bad at remembering names and didnt need to use his own name for 4000+ years. He was stuck in the Outer Realms this whole time because he got lost. Maybe time moves differently out there. It only felt like 20 years at most to him. Eventually he just names himself Vanchnraldch (vanch for short) until he can remember his actual name.

I figured the dwarves of skyrim dressed warmer and totally took advantage of all the blue and green mushrooms that grew pretty abundantly underground to use as dyes and probably other stuff too. Hes not wearing anything fancy, kinda commoner clothes for a dwemer. Hes supposed to have glasses but they broke so he cant see shit. Hes from Nchuand-zel.

More long oc lore rambling

Why was he in the Outer Realms? Because of one ridiculously impulsive decision. See, Vanch liked to make small model versions of creatures. Extremely intricate and detailed models, but they werent autonomous or anything. They were much more comparable to wind-up toys (do NOT call them toys he will get mad at you)(and if hes feeling upset at himself enough he'll call them toys too) and he made them all by himself by hand. Usually, he would make mudcrabs. This is because he is totally obsessed with mudcrabs and think theyre the best things ever to exist. He rescued a mudcrab from the brink of death from a slaughterfish and replaced most of its heavily damaged exoskeleton with dwarven metal and he named it Kraben and Kraben is his most favoritest thing in the world. He firmly believes the sounds mudcrabs make have something special to it (nobody else agrees with him). Of course, he makes plenty of other things, lots of bugs, sometimes people, whatever other animals hes seen. Scribbles down very detailed diagrams and notes about every creature he sees... unfortunately for him it never occured to him to write down the names of anyone hes ever spoken to despite being well aware he has trouble remembering. Anyway, eventually he ran out of creatures to make and he hit a creative block and it was stressing him out. Having nothing to do is like torture to him, dude can hardly sit still even when he is doing stuff. So, hes young, hes full of energy, hes impulsive, hes overconfident, he decides one day he's gonna open a portal to some random plane of Oblivion and look at all the creatures they got over there. And then come back after hes satisfied. Well, he knew himself well enough that he figured it would take at least 10 years before he was gonna go home.... then he realized, "uh oh, i cant figure out how to get back" so he tries not to worry too much and spends another unplanned 10 years going every which way... hes probably managed to end up in places nobody else has ever been. Who knows whats out there. Unfortunately, not him, because as i said before, hes nearsighted and his glasses broke at some point so hes been going through the realms half blind. Its a genuine moracle that he survived. But he did managed to get a TON of notes on all sorts of things to make models of. Unfortunately he doesnt really care about that anymore because he really really really wants to get back home. He misses his parents and its way too weirdly quiet out there (my dwemer telepathy hc) and no mudcrabs and he scared he'll be lost forever.

You know how Septimus Sigmus mentioned the "dullest of the Dwemer"? Yeah.... Vanch isnt quite the DULLEST but... hes down there. He was still young though. And stubborn. He was supposed to take on an apprenticeship and never did bc he was way into his own thing which wasn't necessarily a bad thing but it did mean he missed out on some pretty historically sought-after info. He eventually makes it a habit to write peoples names down so he wont forget them.

So finally he manages to get back home and he very quickly realizes everything is way wrong. Whole bunch of things immediately sound out of tune and its way too quiet and everything looks like an earthquake hit it a billion times. And even worse, theres two random Altmer hes never seen before. One of them looks like hes seen a ghost and the other one looks like hes forgotten how to breathe with how excited he is. So Vanch is like "who the hell are you" and its Aicantar and Calcelmo, but Aicantar has to answer for both because Calcelmo is probably going to pass out. Kraben is with them (yes, Kraben is THE dwarven armored mudcrab) and immediately runs up to Vanch, which is the biggest possible relief to him at the moment while Aicantar, who is also really excited about the fact that a Dwemer just appeared from nowhere right in front of them, tries to very calmly ask if anyone else is coming back too.

Vanch has no idea what he means by that so he ignores it and instead asks him what happened to Nchuand-zel. Calcelmo finally regains his composure and explains that its been without maintenance for thousands of years. Vanch is... confused, to say the least, thinks this old man is messing with him for no reason, then Calcelmo and Aicantar both realize he probably genuinely doesnt know what happened. Calcelmo asks him where he just came from so Vanch tells him he was wandering the outer realms, totally not lost for real... then Vanch asks where everyone else is. Aicantar considers how to break the news to him or if they should even tell him that, but then Calcelmo just goes and outright says it: the dwarves all disappeared over 4,000 years ago in the First era.

"Huh?" is all Vanch can think to say. Instinctively he wants to deny it because of how absurd it is. Deep inside he can feel the dread building as he desperately tries to push away the acknowledgement of the fact that he doesnt actually have any idea how long hes been gone for... combine that with the state everything is in, and he knows full well Calcelmo isnt lying. But its such an absurd thing. Subconsciously he feels that he must have never gotten back home at all, that this is some odd Outer Realm or perhaps a parallel timeline he somehow ended up in that mimics the one he came from. But deeper and deeper still, he knows this is home. But he refuses to know it.

From then on, he answers what he can when he can because of COURSE Calcelmo is going to ask him 100 questions per second, and it lets Vanch gloat and brag about things. As proud as he is though, he wouldnt like to give false information. Hes honest when he doesnt know something. He doesnt want to tarnish the image of his people by making stuff up. They find his home while excavating, all his work still there pretty much intact. And there, the spider automaton he made as a child was still active and waiting patiently, having cleaned up some mess over the years and constantly attempting to clear rubble from the entrance.

After some time Vanch cannot stand being in his own room because nobody else is there. He really does miss his mom and dad and theyre gone. Instead of facing those feelings he leaves entirely, deciding to see all these other dwemer ruins around Skyrim. Aicantar goes with him for support since Vanch doesnt actually like fighting things as much as he talks shit about other people. In fact, he has a couple of staves that he uses instead, his most used one being for paralysis. He'll kill if he has to, of course, hed just rather not bc he kinda finds blood gross. Hes pretty easily extremely disturbed by people throwing up so you could imagine the kind of nightmare it was to come across Bthardamz. If theres any daedra that he genuinely despises, its Peryite. Whenever he goes anywhere he wears a dwarven helmet because he doesnt want people gawking at him (bc he doesnt know anyone anymore) and doesnt change anything else because he doesnt think Nords are bright enough to look at his clothes and realize hes a dwarf (most people dont, not bc theyre stupid but because dwarves have been Gone forever so any normal person would have absolutely no reference for how a dwarf dressed).

Eventually, he starts traveling by himself, just exploring whatever, and just out of sheer curiosity he ends up finding Serana. Yup, he does the Dawnguard stuff without ever actually getting involved with the Dawnguard. He did it entirely by accident. He helps Serana back to Volkihar, if only because she wouldnt leave him alone otherwise, and its... gross in there, because blood. And then Harkon does that whole offer and Vanch had to try his absolute hardest to not flat out call Harkons vampire lord form ugly because hes well aware of the danger hes in. He declines the offer, Harkon kicks him out, Serana shows up at the dwemer museum later, blah blah, then they end up having to enter the Soul Cairn. Vanch is terrified of going in because, well, the LAST time he went into an outer realm, 4000 years passed. So he doesnt. Tells Serana to deal with her own shit and then leaves. Then she comes back again, assuring him theyre not going to an outer realm this time. Vanch asks why she keeps going to him for help and she admits that shes scared to do it alone, and hes already helped her so far. So hes like, fine whatever, what are we even doing, and she explains the Tyranny of the Sun prophecy and that theyre gonna need to read an elder scroll somehow. Vanch immediately knows exactly what to do for that because he came across those ruins himself (Blackreach is one of the first places he explored because he heard of it growing up but never got to see it), so they go to Blackreach and into the Tower of Mzark to use the oculory to get the info from the elder scroll. So now they know they have to go to some cave.

Blah blah standard stuff, they meet Gelebor. Now the new issue is: Vanch knows the Falmer as the way everyone knows them. They were already like that by the time he was born. He vaguely knew about the War of the Crag, as Calcelmo explained it to him once, but he didnt think it was an actual major thing. He didn't even know the full story of why the Falmer were like that since it happened so long before him. So to see an actual normal looking Falmer standing there.... who gave him an unreadable look, all of a sudden Vanch knew he was way in over his head with whatever the hell was about to happen. In fact, he was nervous. And Vanch being nervous means hes either going to go dead silent or obnoxiously rude... unfortunately for both him and Gelebor, he was rude. Not about what happened to the Falmer, but about Auri-El. Gelebor, having already heard similar things before, mentally praying Auri-El gives him the patience he needs to deal with a dwarf (and trying not to think too much on how there could possibly even be one here to begin with), of all the people that couldve possibly shown up, goes ahead and asks that they kill his brother anyway so they can get the bow. Kind of just so they would leave him alone sooner.

The whole way up to Vyrthur, Vanch slowly grapples with how fucked up this all is. For the first time in his life hes seeing the Falmer as actual people. Which makes it all the worse that Gelebor calls them "the Betrayed" because he now fully understands exactly why. He isnt sure he should be doing any of this at all. It makes him think about how all his kind are gone too. It makes him think about how he shouldnt even be here at all. Most of all, he knows he wont have the guts to kill Vyrthur, but he doesnt want to die either. He silently hopes that Serana will be more capable than him. Or that Vyrthur would be willing to talk.

Of course Vyrthur is NOT willing to talk. Just the sight of Vanch is as if Auri-El himself was rubbing salt in old wounds. At that moment Vyrthur doesnt even care about Serana anymore. He just needs this damned thing to get out of his sight. Vanch almost dies and then he kills Vyrthur. Yeah, they needed the bow, but Vanch doesnt want anything to do with it. To say he felt terrible about everything that just happened is a massive understatement. Then Gelebor shows up again. Vanch doesnt even take the bow. In a daze, he just apologizes and then leaves, so he lets Serana take it instead.

Vanch is way unfocused and goes straight back to Nchuand-zel. Serana can tell he would absolutely not be up to fight Harkon yet, but she isnt sure how much shes willing to wait. But she gives him time. Eventually Vanch pulls himself together, takes the bow, but then asks Aicantar if he wants to come fight a crazy powered vampire lord. Aicantar hesitantly agrees, so the three of them go to face Harkon, Vanch keeping his distance so he can focus on using the bow (he is not good at it). They defeat Harkon, so Vanch turns right around and leaves. Goes straight back to the Forgotten Vale by himself. Serana can tell what Vanch is doing and knows he needs to be alone.

Vanch gets up to the Chantry where he sees Gelebor, who is staring out over the balcony. Vanch puts the bow back in its pedestal and then hesitates to leave. A very big part of him wants to go talk to Gelebor but an equally big part of him wants to go home. But home doesnt feel like home anymore, it hasnt for a while now. He tries to approach Gelebor but hes scared. He cant really pinpoint why, but he is. Gelebor is well aware that Vanch is standing behind him but neither of them say anything to each other. For Vanch, its really that he doesnt know how to say what he would like to with words. For Gelebor, hes just feeling a lot of things. After enough very uncomfortable silence, Gelebor invites Vanch to stand with him, so they both silently stare out over the Vale.

They have a lot of smaller interactions as Vanch visits Gelebor every now and then that very gradually build up to an unlikely friendship. At some point Vanch offers to help fix up the Chantry. Vanch has a weird sort of attachment to him since they both have a "last of their kind" issue and Gelebor is, admittedly, sort of enjoying having someone around. Theyre kind of like... uncle and nephew kind of dynamic i guess. It doesnt happen for a while though.

Obviously Vanch doesnt know about the Last Living Dwemer just yet, but he does eventually learn more about the stuff that happened at Red Mountain and if he isnt careful he'll go down his own spiral trying to find either a way back to that time so he can personally beat the shit out of Kagrenac or a way to bring everyone back or a way to join everyone else or a way to finally just accept it all. Sometimes its good that hes easily distracted. What he'll never know is that the disappearance happened only a few years after he had left, meaning even if he did come back when he meant to, everyone still wouldve been gone.

To be completely honest he was initially supposed be me entertaining the idea of a dwemer ldb but the more i thought about him the less that became anything to do with his character so i decided to just not have it be the case

[ii-neutral-confessions]

ooc: [to that one person that asked what neutron tails looked like im so sorry i cant find your ask 💔💔💔]

[anyways! neutron tails act as a counterweight and help keep the neutron's balance! they're also useful in self-defense, as well as acting like a natural blade. you can open packages with your tail. isnt that so cool. you can fucking swordfight with your tail 💜💜💜

this is what neutron's tail looked like before it got yeeowched off!!]

[however! neutron tails have the most variation out of all the particles! so they could look like this

or this

or this

or this!!!

neutron tails are hard n shiny 😁😁😁 the "spikes" (well. not all of them will be spikes) are called spurs. from natural birth theyre soft but get hard after a bit. in rebirth however they stay hard

there can be at least 1 spur on the tail. at most? dunno. go wild

might as well drop some other lore while were at it

all particles actually evolved - yeah thats right. what, you thought they came out fully perfect after the big bang? loser. /j

yeag so electrons and protons are a predator species but neutrons are actually a prey species!! or were at least low on the food chain. think of them like hamsters. they WILL eat each other but bigger animals eat them too. isnt that fascinating...

lizard neutrons like to be in groups. yaknow. packs. groups. you cant really make an atom with only neutrons i think but they try their best

you know the catpocalypse that happened with dyne and electron where everyone turned into cats. yeah. if enough neutrons go into lizard mode they can do that too - but it actually depends on the mood of the group!!

a neutron who is relaxed in lizard mode will naturally have others in lizard mode be chill as well. neutrons who are not in lizard mode can resist going into lizard mode much better than other particles resisting their animal modes n stuff. yaknow. its easy to resist if the lizards are chill

it DOES get harder to resist the more lizard neutrons they are exposed to!!! obviously

the fun starts when a group of lizard neutrons are aggressive... a normal neutron exposed to one aggressive lizard neutron can easily resist going into lizard mode. but two? a little harder. they might feel a pull. three? five? ten? thats when shit starts getting wild. it WILL be a very catastrophic domino effect. a normal neutron could be exposed to a pack (ill come up with a better name) of like. 20 chill lizard neutrons. and they could feel no pull at all. but a pack of 5 aggressive lizard neutrons? you bet your shit they will not be able to fight their instincts for very long. a big pack is a safe pack, their little prey brain tells them. a big pack is a powerful pack. a stressed pack is a dangerous pack. a stressed pack is a powerful pack.

anyways!!! i know people reaaaally wanted to know this:

what happens when you cut off a neutron's tail?

well! i mean they'll have a fucked up sense of balance for a bit. theyll be very dizzy. more prone to going lizard mode. they can get used to it with time and practice!! it DOES degrade their mental state subtly though - i mean. would you like being constantly dizzy. i sure dont

anyways. yeag. awesomesauce]

[dramallamas]

The (unserious) notes of Beyond Evil, Episode 2!

Previous Episode || Next Episode

bro this body really dragged everyone out there. all our side characters are here.

"there's mud everywhere" my guy youre in a field what do you expect

"could it be a pervert obsessed with feet?" that doesnt narrow down the list that much in this day and age...

Lee Dongsik was sexy in his 20s 30s and 40s not every man can pull that off. Lee Dongsik the man you are

oh and he's here too (Juwon)

Dongsik is also a little shit and i love him for that.

“Do you like me that much?” Houston I’m deceased.

HE DIDNT SAY NO

Man we get flirting in Episode Two damn we get fed well as a community.

“Isnt she your sister, Lee Yuyeon?” LIARRRR

“The recording room isn’t your bedroom.” As in both of theirs? Because I have read the fics 👀

How warm is the recording room is my question. Because if its like my bedroom then shits freezing

I have said this once and will say it again lee Dongsik is a sexy mf

“I got lured?” Juwons face pls he is so confused.

THE SCORE AND SOUNDS GOD PROPS TO THE MUSIC PPL

Juwons disgust is so amusing.

Bro it must suck to be talked about when you are right here.

Part of me is curious as to how Dongsik went from Lee Dohyun Dongsik to Shin Hakyun Dongsik. Like we get hints in flashbacks but not much more.

We act like Juwon had this sudden shift in how he reacts to Dongsik after his Busan trip but it was there the whole time just a lot more subtle.

Juwon looking at dirt is me looking at Jinmuk. Fricken gross.

“Touch it (my phone) again and your fingers will…” shit man

Also unpopular opinion incoming: not the biggest fan of minjeong. Shes tragic and interesting enough but she is also the type of person I would avoid being friends with

We dont give Jeongje enough credit for him standing up to his mother passive aggressively.

THE FIRST RAIN SCENE ITS HERE

All good things happen in the rain in this show and I stand by that.

This one melts my heart (and Juwon’s too)

He just stares at Dongsik smiling… perhaps he cant be all that bad hey Juwon.

HAN KIHWAN GTF OUT OF HERE

Also juwon can I have that jumper pls? At least tell me where u got it (that blue one he wore with the stripes on his arm).

Juwon in casual clothing is smth we dont see enough of especially at the start of the show

Juwon proving he is just as insane as Dongsik in this scene but also just as driven about solving what really happened. Two sides of the same coin.

Also we do not give the camera ppl enough credit either the way they shoot the scenes is incredible and rlly captures both the character and their thoughts/feelings as well as their situation and vibes of the scene.

“I don’t like solving riddles” juwon aint that ur job…?

Tiny hc: jeongje learnt some english words and slips them into his conversations to add fuel to his lie of ‘studying in america’

“There isnt a single cop in the country wjk would prioritise such a case.” Jeongje says to Juwon, who is prioritising such a case.

Juwon nearly losing his cool is so interesting and important to me.

Juwon doesnt fuck with people telling him to stay quiet thats for sure.

Ok so Dongsiks mum sees Dongsiks dad frozen to death and calls him 동식(이?) 아버지 (Dongsiks dad). like imagine u mother calls ur dad "(your name)'s dad!" is this a thing in korea or a script choice?

Tfw you hear the tragic backstory of ur suspect/future bf

part of me thinks dongsiks limp/leg injury might be psychosomatic, at least a little bit.

jihwas contact name for dongsik being 똥식 is so funny. (동 is how its supposed to be 똥, pronounced only slightly differently means shit/poop)

Underrated friendship Jaeyi and Jihoon moment.

God I hate clubs sm (I have been and ended up stressed depressed and just on the verge of tears by the end of it and I was dead sober)

Dongsik is in protective dad mode and he stands for womens rights (and probably womens wrongs) and i love that.

I am aware that this episode 2 notes is mostly just me loving Dongsik.

Everyone beind done with minjeon is also me.

"Dongsik I wasnt cheating on you..." girl youre giving Juwon the wrong ideas. also dongsik would deserve better than you anyway

Juwon rn "this girl is insane... idk what i expected because this is manyang but she rlly is and I am not dealing with it"

Juwon not being a physical touch person and valuing personal space a lot and Dongsik being an exception is everything to me.

also underrated duo moment of Juwon and Jihoon

Honestly Juwon Jaeyi Jihoon friendship trio should be a thing in fics

Actually Dongsik isnt that much shorter than Juwon... huh...

The shot where they are both looking down... I should use that as my laptop wallpaper tbh

Minjeongs death sequence gives me the chills every time.

Them talking about the death body and Jinmuk being in the shade in the background with Jaeyi... means smth but im not smart enough yet.

Dongsiks case wall for Yuyeon in his basement genuinely makes me cry knowing the truth about it

'hey bitch 😏' is the energy we have rn

Bro cannot control his emotions well around Dongsik

“Let me give you a thorough tour of our jurisdiction” is Dongsik code for, ‘follow me I need to show you something’

I remember this scene being the netflix preview (the one where juwon states that he wants to move to manyang) for beyond evil and I remember thinking… what a shit scene to preview to convince ppl to watch the show. However… I think otherwise because…

“Just what about me interests you so much? I don’t think it’s that I’m a cop. Perhaps that I’m a suspect?”

“Let me ask you. Just what about me interests you so much? You obviously seem to be dying to know what I was up to at Foreign Affairs.”

THAT PART IS CONVINCING ASF HELLO

And then… pain.

Juwon hesitating and genuinely looking torn deciding what to do. Does he call it in or… what? Comfort Dongsik? Probably considered how he reacts upon hearing Dongsik start to cry before realising why. His entire face screams “I’m so sorry…”

And Dongsik oh my god. Even though we know he put them there I think this is the first time he properly grieved it, even if only a little.

He probably did it to bust the case back open again so he and the vicitims can get justice.

And fin. See you next ep!

[alexin-wonderlust]

Day 2 - Japan Blog - 8 February 2024

Disneyland

I promise this blog wont be as lengthy but I really wanted to share my tips about hot to get in to Japan; today we are off to Disneyland. Let's get it off the bat, first thing, straight to the good stuff. Starting the day with a Squeeze Squeeze (my favourite Orange Juice, it is the most pulpiest juice ever, it's like biting into an orange) we started the commute to Disneyland. 

Now; I wanted to get there early -- I didnt think ropedrop was necessary but apparently it was. I missed out on the Space Mountain priority pass AND the Enchanted Tales with Belle priority pass (the one you have to pay for...) I was actually blown away. The amount of planning I did; and that still wasnt enough to anticipate the crowd that was the day we attended. I managed to sweet talk one of the lovely Cast Members at Space Mountain and she gave me a Switch Rider Pass, arigato -- so I could come back and use that at a later time (just like a fast pass). Ben didnt want one because he isnt a "ride guy". Fair enough, but SPACE MOUNTAIN IS AMAZING -- if you are a ride guy and want to try something awesome, please give it a go. You wont regret. 

After being sad and chucking a tantrum about not being able to go on the ONE RIDE I SO BADLY WANTED TO RIDE... I was satiated with a cute pink Mickey beanie and Ben got the matching glasses (because Valentines Day is next week!!) and then we went on to Toontown to see the bits of the park we missed last time. 

This is my sixth visit to Tokyo Disneyland and while there have been some changes -- It's so nice to see it back to "normal" since COVID. When we visited in November 22, there was so much magic missing and there still is; ahem -- single riders line, paper maps... just to name a few. But there are also some good changes and the merch is back to being fun and cute. I really enjoyed shopping at Disneyland a lot more this time than I did in 2022. 

(Bring back single riders lines and paper maps because I need it!)

Ben got to go on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride which I have been raving about for years (it was closed for refurb last time) and we even got to have a beer before hand -- Since when can you drink beer in Disneyland!? This is new and I like it! Also, seeing snow (albeit dirty piles, I dont care!!) in the park is SO GOOD -- I had fun doing a squish!

For dinner, we settled on the Queen of Hearts Banquet which -- of course, was mediocre at best. But, I mean. Its a counter meal, it is easy, fun and the theming is cute. Although my phone battery was starting to deplete and the charge bank I brought with me turned out to be a pile of trash. 

Here's a TIP! If you are going to be spending the day out and about -- PLEASE CONSIDER BRINGING A FULLY CHARGED BATTERY BANK.

If you cant, there are some options; but Disneyland struggled to meet our needs and here's why.

-The charge spots are in Japanese. No issue, except I need my phone to translate and that drains battery.

-You need an APP to hire a battery bank. This is also in japanese and you cant translate it.

-You have to scan the QR code 3 or 4 times which means people are hanging around in the area, which is ANNOYING because therye in the way and you're stressing out because of the next point...

-It doesnt accept any other payment method except CREDIT CARD. Not debit card, not paypal linked to a credit card, not apple pay. It has to be "enter your CREDIT card details" to make a payment.

This was very frustrating because by the time I had located the charge spot; tried about 3 times; downloaded the app, created an account, tried to link my debit card, paypal, etc... my battery is now on 2%. EEP! 

HOW TO FIX; I went to the HOME STORE next to the American Waffle Co near the Main Street and they sell battery packs for approximately 2900YEN. Which was about $30AUD. This thing was amazing. It had enough charge to fill both ben and my phone to at least 60% and get us through until back to the hotel. Thank you Disney! :)

I wanted to keep this short so I will just say the next things in dot point form:

-Minnies Funderland promo is super cute but the girls hogged the picture spots and there were massive line ups for the special foods all day.

-Got some super cute pictures at Golden Hour at the castle. 

-Ben got his sherrif pin for winning the Shooting Gallery and getting 10 shots in a row!

-Rides we went on were Space Mountain, Star Tours, Pirates of the Caribbean

-The electrical parade is amazing but its TOO COLD -- the fireworks were bloody pitiful. Sorry, but they suck.

Then we start the long trek through the crowd back to the hotel (this is why I prefer to stay onsite when I go to Disneyland... its just easier for a hotel thats not much more expensive...!)

On the way back we found a supermarket and I stocked up on some "healthier" options; like a banana and I organised myself a bath and a face mask for my first relaxation, pamper session. One of my favourite things to do in Japan. While I was in the bath; Ben went to the 7/11 and they had an onigiri which has now plagued my brain -- pork and wasabi. I need more and I need them all.

[smolcuriouskitten]

papers. our muses getting frisky in an office / work setting. - just smthn a lil spicy in bigby's office mayhaps :3 👀

God this was addictive. Bigby held his name well, the big bad wolf...He didnt disappoint and for a size queen, such as herself, loving things much bigger than her, she wanted to keep him close by.

"And YOU god dammit you are so fucking mean! Why did you yell at that poor lady?! She was just trying to get an autograph! I cant believe you-" She rambles on and on about how disappointed she was with Bigby. This experience would have been fine if he didnt try to grab a woman who worked for her.

Bigby on the other hand was just annoyed at this point. He was tired of being yelled at by this woman who he could crush under him so easily. And here she was, yelling at him all the way through the walk to his office. Damn, does she ever shut up?

"-And are you even listening to me?! I swear you dont listen to me at all, my dog Kimchi listens to me better than you do and I-" Enough. He grabs her and presses her against his desk as soon as they enter into the office. "You talk alot. You dont ever shut up do you?" He asks and she was now red and flustered, looking up at him. "I fuss if something isnt in order! How dare you tell me to shut up?! You are so mean!" She starts to fuss until he squeezes her hips making her squeal and melt.

"You were saying?" Bigby asks with a shit eating grin on his face. "Oh...Shut up!" She fusses and hides her face in his chest, letting out a soft sigh. "You looked stressed out tonight. I been your punching bag all week." He asks, gently moving her chin to look up at him. "I...I..." She looks up at him and chews her lip, averting her gaze. "I...I feel so strange...I feel like so...pent up..I guess would be the right word? I never..felt like this before." She responds and Bigby nods. "You need a release?" He shortly asks and she nods.

"Can...Can we...Um..Can you.." She mumbles, unable to find the words and Bigby chuckles. "You need to be fucked again dont you?" He asks and she squeals with a frantic nod, covering her face. "Yes but oh god you make it sound so...so...dirty when you say it." She whines and he gently moves her hands from her face. "It will sound even better in your ears." He said with a grin, sliding his hands down her hips to hold the hem of her shirt, looking for her consent as she nods to let him strip her.

As soon as the shirt hit the floor, they both kiss, Rocky's hips leaning against the desk. They briefly break the kiss for him to lift her up on the desk, he pushes everything over. "Bigby your paper- Mmf-" He rushes to kiss her again which she gently holds onto his hair and wraps her legs around his hips. "Fuck those papers." He growls, his finger running along the hem of her jeans before he unbuttons them and pulls them down along with her underwear.

In the meantime, Rocky was unbuttoning his shirt, running her hand along his hairy chest. A soft growl left his lips as she giggles pushing the shirt off his shoulders, next unbuttoning his pants. "Aht. I got that." He gently pushes her hand away, pressing a hand to her chest for her to lean down on the desk. He starts to kiss down to her neck, leaving marks all over and his hand upped over her pussy. "God...I havent even touched you yet and you are already soaked." He teases making her shiver and cover her face.

"Oh shut up.." She whimpers as he rubs her clit with his thumb, kissing down to her collarbones and biting along them, slowly pushing his fingers inside of her for more friction. "You missed this didnt you?" Bigby asks and Rockelle nods as she moans, hearing the sound of her wetness echoing in the room. "I cant hear you." He continued, now sucking on her nipple, his tongue clicking the surface making her whimper and moan.

"I...I did...I missed this so much." She responds, her back arching as he pumps his fingers inside of her, her eyes rolling back into her head. "Good girl." He quickly comes up to give her a kiss and look her in the eye as he moves them faster, gently holding her face. "You want more?" He asks as she whines and nods. "Ah ah...Use your words." He commanded and curls his digits inside of her. "Oh...oh god! Yes yes please I want more please!" She shudders, her legs starting to shake.

And just like that, he went down on her, devouring her juices and continuing to pump his fingers inside of her. "Oh god! Bigby! Yes yes yes!" She screams, her legs locking around his head as she arches her hips off the desk, cumming into his mouth. He groaned and pushes his fingers deeper to oversimulate her a bit making her scream even louder and her legs shook. "You arent done until I say you are. Come on...I know you have more for me." He mumbles, gently pressing down on her lower abdomen.

"AAAH! B-bigb-by that f-feels str-stra-strange oh GOD!" She screams again, his fingers hitting her g-spot continuously. "Thats right...let it out.." And just like that, she snaps into another orgasm, this time, she was a fountain. He drinks down her juices, looking down at her face frozen in ecstas, her eyes still rolling to the back of her head as she shook and convulsed. He gently held her in place so she didnt roll off the desk.

After a few moments, she then sat up briefly as she held Bigby's arm. "Oh...Oh god...My head is spinning. That felt so good, thank you so much." She mumbles, her voice much softer and quiet than earlier. He chuckles and presses a kiss to her forehead. "Was that everything you needed?" He asks, Rockelle scrunching her nose and shaking her head. "No. I want you inside of me too." She demands, pressing a kiss to his lips before getting off the desk and bending over.

"Someones in a good mood." He smacks her ass and she giggles. "You made me this way." She hums as he presses his covered member against her ass making her grind it. "Come on...you know I dont like teasing Bigs..." She whines and he chuckles. "Oh I know. This ass is just so nice, I had to admire it." He pulls his pants down, tossing them elsewhere.

"Ya know, I thought the myths werent true...about the big...bad wolf...but I am glad you hold true to your name. You are...Very big." She praises as he presses the head of his dick against her pussy. "And you will come to learn, theres not a thing small about me darlin." He continued, pressing himself inside of her, a soft gasp left her lips and a groan left his.

[fyodior]

okay so youve read the manga which means i can send things related to it.

BSD MANGA SPOILERS

chuuya,,, vampire,,, drowning,,,,

BUT VAMPIRE CHUUYA MMMM VAMPIRES YESYESYES

im p sure that vamps have some sense of control, so chuuya isnt completely out of it. vampire chuuya biting you,,,, vampire chuuya, i really like vampires so sexy

dazai sending messages to his s/o through the heart beats to ango but they don't actually go through bc he gets flustered and his heart rate increases. if ango DOES figure it out and actually try to send it to you you get super embarrassed bc. its the most filthy things ever. MAYBE HE EVEN ENCODED IT SO ANGO CANT READ IT EITHER OOOO. me off to make a secret code that only me and my lover can speak 🏃

sigma. my baby sigma. he is my minecraft skin. you called chuuyas waist slutty??? sigma has a split dye and heels and eshdfjksdf. HE OWNS A CASINO TOO PEOPLE FORGET THAT. so bbg. hes rich too so. sugar daddy sigma <333 or sigma just paying you so he can get cuddles <333 AQUAINTANCES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS WHERE SIGMA JUST HIRES YOU TO HANG OUT WITH HIM. little baby is so stressed after being composed, he just needs a hug <333

and i can just IMAGINE nikolai and the things he does with his ABILITY SHDJKFSHDF. just randomly fingering your pussy in public (fucking asshole with no self-restraint <3)

fedya and dazai are restless and stinky after being in prison for so long, if either of them get out i can just imagine taking a loooooong bath with them, scrubbing their stinky hair. lets hope the heavy water has some soap in it because my goodness they look NASTY. still fuckable though. dazai will always be fuckable.

☕

yes vampire sexy but it actually makes me sad that chuuya is a vampire now djdjsje like that poor man has been thru enough trauma to last 10 lifetimes already and now he’s fucking undead 😭

the heartbeat thing tho to ango 💀💀 ango is sweating and refuses to look you in ur eyes to tell you that dazai says he “wants to fuck you raw until you can’t remember your own name”

poor baby sigma i love him to death i just want to kiss and cuddle him and give him a home 🥺

i want to give my stinky boys the longest nicest bubbliest best smelling bath and scrub them so good and just love on them so much until they feel so much better 🥺🥺🥺 imagine fyodor purring while you shampoo him and scratch his scalp

kolya fingering you in public mf would do that even without an ability shdjshdkshdsj

[scaredgirlsilly]

I'm aroace and coming up on my 1 year anniversary of engagement to my lovely fiance who is not aro or ace and I do not use the term qpp. I have the type of relationship that tends to cause a lot of arguments so when irl people or strangers ask I just say I'm straight. (There's also an added layer of confusion from some people since I'm an ace guy and that seems to be a hot button topic rn)

I tend not to share this because people who know that I'm aroace think that I was previously going through a phase when I say I love my partner. I do love my partner but I'm still aroace and it looks different and this is the first time I've ever felt so secure with another person and what we were able to create is beautiful because I stopped listening to people tell me what a relationship is or should be. And we work amazingly together.

-a fellow aro mutual still too nervous to talk about being aroace with my actual unsername (but wanted to show solidarity)

omg hiiiiiiii!!!! ::3

ok first off CONGRATS ON ALMOST A YEAR OH EM GEE!!!!!!!! thats awesome im glad you found someone you can be yourself with ^u^

and uh. the rest of this is gonna be gibberish sorry jfkshdksj i was literally walking around my kitchen last night when i first got this ask trying to figure out how to word what i want to say for like an hour or 2 😭😭

but like. i think alot of people dont understand just how *open* the terms aro and ace can really be. like. idk at least to me its kinda like nonbinary. like nonbinary is anything that doest strictyly fit into the gender binary. and thats. uh. A Fuck Ton Of Things jfkshdjsj. like im aro but i might honestly feel romantic attraction. but for me its my strong dislike of the idea of being in a relationship, along with like. almost being disillusioned with the very concept of romantic attraction. (and being sorta kinda poly??)

this is the part that is gonna be incomprehensible jfksjsks. but the way i think about it is almost like. idk a diagnosis jfkshdks (NOT to be the weirdos that are like "romance is an illness" i just want to describe the fact that the borders and definitions of these attractions are socially constructed)

like romantic attraction has a bunch of "symptoms" (again value neutral i canmot stress enough that im not like anti people who like romance hfkshdjsj) like yk liking someone a bunch or butterflies in their stomach or like. yk whatever doesnt matter you get what i mean. the different thoughts and feelings and experiences that typically come up when someone is romantically attracted to someone. what im saying is i dont think there is *actually* a single Romantic Feeling people get, i think a lot of people just have a very similar experience, and so it sort of becomes a seperate thing yk. there isnt actually a Romantic Emotion but its a combo of a bunch of stuff that alot of people experience close enough to each others experiences that it is helpful for it to be named something.

but like. then people assume the Thing is actually real. or not that it isnt real but like. that the Thing came first and is law. when really its just a bunch of components that commonly make up the thing. and so when you share alot of those components of the Thing (saying i love you or being in a relationship that isnt a qpr with an allo person), people will say that you feel the Thing. but *you* know that you dont.

i dont really know where im going with this other than like. i wish people didnt see aro and ace people (specifically aro people jfksjsjs) as like. either you feel the Thing or you Dont. like 1. the Thing (romantic attraction) is something allo people cant even define comprehensibly and 2. the human experience is so varied that like. every single person is different and its v frustrating when people shit on others for not fitting into their idea of what that type of person is (shitting on aro people for not being what they think aro people are).

god this is nonsense im sorry but hopefully you understand what i mean. tl;dr everyone is different and everyones experiences of queer labels are different, id argue *especially* aro and ace people, and if you shit on aro and ace people for acting or feeling in a way you didnt expect or like, im killing you with a chainsaw

hopefully you can find other people who are not weird about your aroace-ness and if you ever need to talk about it id be down ^u^

[smolselfshippingaxcycat]

Oh, okay! Let me toss the question back at you--how about you and Netzach? How'd you two meet and what kicked off your relationship?

Only if you feel like sharing, of course!! /gen

~ librarian-lover 📖

ofc ofc!! thamk fur the ask @librarian-lover! /gen sorry i took so long two answer :'3 and sorry abt how long the answer is, too! /lh

i dont have a whole story planned out yet (beclaws chronic illness is a meanie) nor a name fur my s/i, just vaguely put twogether bits and pieces here and therer, but im hapy two share my ideas!! ill put them under the cut so that the post isnt 5 meters long /lhj

Local Idiot™ somehow manages two get hired at L Corp /lh

they start out in the welfare depawrtment, as one of the furst mempurrs

they dont dislike being there, but being that deep underground offsets their agoraphobia a bit- not enough two cause them panic, but it definitely makes it so that their mental corruption levels rise quicker

so they sign up two transfur two the safety team instead (beclaws control team is "too yellow" and info team is too menacing and safety sounds. not scary and ok maybe they just enjoy how green the halls are there if they cant have bloo)

they happen two bump intwo netzach on one of their furst few days there and they introduce themselves two each other

and while my s/i's attempting two make small talk (and mostly failing), theyre kinda like.. "huh, something abt him seems kinda sad.... oh, people have said that about me a lot! and im purretty touch starved, maybe he needs a hug...? wait, but it'd be weird two hug someone yew just met, right?? maybe i can be his furriend or something thatd be supurr awesome and nyaice-"

they're having All the Thoughts™.... they just cannot stop Thinking™ /lh

so they're trying two come up with excuses two talk two him day after day- while noticing his alcohol and enkaphalin usage, which... kinda worries them. they've definitely been stressed enough themself two the point where they've wanted two turn two drugs... was this a similar case??

efurry time they try two go up and talk two him, though, their voice just... won't come out.

so they have the idea of writing a letter instead! maybe thatd be easier..

theyre very nervous, and constantly state how "its not a crush or anything, i just wanna be furriends and get two know each other meowre!" followed by something like "oh but no purressure if yew dont want i mean i just want yew two know im feeling this way is all!" beclaws they're not quite sure if 'friend-crush' or 'squish' is an ok term two use, beclaws feelings are confusing. the way their brain automatically thinks of the worst case scenarios also makes it so that the letter starts off with something like... "if yew're reading this im purrobly dead or i dropped this on the floor somewhere"

they put said letter in an envelope and seal it with a white heart sticker that they color in the queerplatonic flag colors and write netzach's name on the back.

and they go "ok tomeowrrow im delivering this!"

tomeowrrow comes. they fold the letter intwo their pocket....

and they dont have the guts two deliver it-

"ok ill just carry this around in my pockets while working. in case i die or something.."

they still make attempts here and there two try and deliver the letter two no avail

other agents in the safety depawrtment have obviously taken notice of this and occasionally tease them about having a (supposed) crush on the sephirah of the safety team- meowre in a teasing playful way than anything else

but these teasing interactions turn out two be a bit of a blessing- the whole safety team kinda grows closer twogether with these mischievous lil interactions and hangouts (my s/i included ofc- im just keeping it vague beclaws i wanna make it so that others can bwoop their nuggets intwo this kinda scenario if they wanna ehehe)

uhh i dont have meowch else past this point but like.

theyre sneaking around during netzach's meltdown (although they very definitely shouldnt be, they want two be of help somehow- think of a scenario similar two how the sephirah meltdowns play out in teequeue's playthrough on the lp archive?)

afterwards, they meownage two listen in on bits and snippets of the manager's talk with netzach after his meltdown

that kind of... intensifies their feelings twowards him! like "whoa thats so cool of him actually two keep mewving furward even when life is so scary... i wish i could be like that"

so it becomes not only "i wanna be his furriend" but "i think... i really look up two him."

followed by "and also... its confusing but i wanna give him platonic kisses. does that make sense?? are- are platonic kisses a thing??"

ofc theyre just kinda talking two themself in their head trying two figure out "its not romantic but i think i wanna kiss him?? but! thats purrobably weird ill just say its a squish and try two deliver that letter..."

they. still dont meownage two deliver that letter even after the fall of L Corp

but thankfully, they get another chance two in the Library!

there, they actually manage two work up the nerve two talk two netzach, learning furrom their past mistake of just letting the oppurrtunity slip by- and they do it on their furst day, too!

they actually get along quite well and are p relaxed with each other!

my s/i doesnt drink (just beclaws they think there are better tasting and smelling things out there) and they encourage netzach two purractice some moderation beclaws they just worry like that a lot

often times after receptions, they nap snuggled next two each other (meowch two the delight of my touch starved s/i)

the qpr really only "started officially" after my s/i was explaining two another assistant librarian that "even tho i wanna kiss him it isnt romantic but i cant explain why it just doesnt feel romantic"

but they were explaining loud enough fur like. efurryone on the floor of art two hear beclaws. "what is volume control im neurodivergent also stop making me so flustered /lh"

netz has (purrobably?) nefur heard of anything like that befur, but is willing two give it a shot

so theres always kisses on the cheek or forehead pre-reception and purrobably meowre kisses and closerer snuggles post-reception. sometimes occasionally kisses on the lips, lots of hand holding or havin an arm around the other or little ways of showing physical affection (ᶦ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ʰᶜ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ⁿᵉᵗᶻᵃᶜʰ ᶦˢ ˢᵘᵖᵘʳʳ ᵖʰʸˢᶦᶜᵃˡˡʸ ᵃᶠᶠᵉᶜᵗᶦᵒⁿᵃᵗᵉ) tl;dr: local idiot joins lobcorp, tries and fails two befurriend netz, meownages two actually gain the nerve two talk two him during the events of ruina and talks a little too loudly but it turns out two be ok beclaws qpr

[solardick]

So what cards to use?

Serpent comes back. Dove is flying.

Mission impossible.

Mother, i’m afraid.

It’s the cir_cle🎶 the circle of li_fe.

Is this what you need dear?

What is it that i owe?

A crow is where violence ensues. Harm. Death. The distant is closed in the now. With it all intent from the external. It means loss. Ravens well. Are a little more human. We say that its time. Prepare yourself. Its a hit. But when it happens with complexicity. You know extra attention is paying name. And i always fail. I don’t listen. The external wont leave me be. Im sorry if your trying to help me. You are the best moments of my life. And i look to you. And i know theres love. Its too bad that word is so god damned contaminated with bs. That one is afraid to say it. It not being hyped. Its always hyped. Its always spelt with a capital letter. People are stupid.

And im an alien.

As is the dragon. Not American. It’s not attached to all that sin bs that american dragons are. Its more of a Japanese dragon. A mix of creatures. As is the spirit. Here less formed to that of an image of man. Same goes for the hindu’s description of life. Foe whatever that god’s name is. I like it.

The dove is tied with the dragon here as positive social involving strong and confident eye contact. Which creates a bit of a stir between two. And engages active participation. All unease is vacant. And trust on a leaF of fate. Not knowing where the wind will blow.

All life does. Is attack it. Attack attack attack. Attack. Bleed. Attack.

Randy’s Japanese toilet.

Ok so now im changing partners. With the little effeminate foreigner. I still lose. Still on script. Ugh.

Ok fine ill go full woman.

I font need to have any initiative i can be a lazy worker.

Il’ fuck the next guy that cums on to me. Go back to beign eight again. Maybe itll be his brother. I want a strong body pressed up behind me. Take care of me. Do nice things for me. And you can own me. Its all i know anyway. Being owned. They ain’t going to stop. Might as well. You’re no stranger. Give in to the lie. Maybe they’ll leave you alone. And stop hurting you. Give up the dream of ever having a family. Theres is no mother. There is no father. There is only childhood. Thats all its been for all these last years. Being shipped around. Owed. Beaten. To insanity and then passified. And raped.

May i get off this abusive fucken script now!? How many more peoplw want to line up and take their next turn?

In all those years. All fucken twenty or so only one person ever insisted and asked me what. One person. I. A way that wasnt aggressive or violent. Sll the violence is dtillt here. By ny fucken entourage. Leave me aline i cant fucken do it. Jesus fuck raoe your families.

Oh no! I got pressed and stressed at saying soemthig. Stupid again. Punish me. Build your own excuses.

What can one inject a chromozone into some one?

So i have to sabotage. Bye bye sunshine. Your a fake summer anyway. Still covid. Get out your mask and be conditioned to avoid everyone. And live the hermit.

Now i got some more cigs to smoke. Odd’y enough my lung isnt hurting. Chain smoked a pack. Scrounging butts. Alright. Oo card lets start my new life as estranged. While i wait on the in reasing depressiob to knowck me out of functionality again. Back yo square one and 20 more years of vegetation while being mistreated. Maybe ill goninsane again and i can get raped and passified again. For the miliionth time.

So the next p’ace i go to you gonna send other girls to sexuàlly harrass me and after i take the proper steps victimize me as the villain. Its becoming repetative. Where your imagination?

No stay home. What? Look dispointed im grttingg fucked with and now im sick. Look disapoited. What the fuck ever nan.

Im going back to bed and wait to see if im a member og the health and safety commity. Its its not just an insult. To have that posted now. The second i wàk inside i start choking almost puking little poor sleep coupelf with chain smoking an fthe recent griup endeavered fucking with me. Im out. Ok. Fyck off.

Consodering the union rep. Is best froends witha drug dealee. Doesnt inspire too mych confidence or trust. Oh no! Im intimidated. Or the drug dealer spazzing out and cowering everytime i raise my gand to through a peice of paper in the trash or the hippy mexican guy eho also told me he was a drug dealer. Both freak out. And engrandize my negaitve reactions. And yet. Im the one who gets hit by them. Yeah. Ok. Fuck you. Think im going to go all full core serioal killer violent on yous. What. Ao and then i get damage for the dame behavior others have done unto my all my life? Yeha ok. Sure why not. Its the guy driving hi s wife to the hospital that gets pulled over by the cops. While the drunk driver ahead of them. Keeps going. Serrounded by criminals victimizing me into being punished. Yap. Fuck life.

Of course im being herded. Who else whould i chose to work with. Within the limited options available. Its not me choice. It was already mande for me. Fuck rhe foreigners is probably a bigger criminal than the others combined gor all i k ow.

Born in a life serrounded by criminals. No wonder my dragon gets raped.

« As wise as a serpent. And as harmless as a dove. «  the bible. Uh, isnt that cool. I just saw that on greyhound. That was good movie. I watched it twice. Today. But thatd life. You find yoru way and then they rape it. And dump it out. Reaving with hatred. And rhen you need to be corrwcted while the laugh at you. Well that’s how i was raided atleast.

Im going to go massage my prostate with the hand’e of my toilet plunger. Later.

Oh no, easter id comming another holiday. Thats means another collective fuck you to me.

No iill try and go see Mother therapist once inknow i own my own life. And aint consistently p’aced with the criminal or the degenerate.

[trendfag]

my pitch for a catfish movie to end the show with:

nev is finally hanging up the catfish fishing game, but not before solving one final case. a girl is being catfished, but for the first time, nev instantly recognized the man in the photos: its him.

amused but someone discomforted by the irony of someone catfishing as him, host of catfish, nev goes all in on the case. he knew it would be his last case but he never could have known just how much it would subsume him. he follows all his steps, and things just arent adding up. everything points to this other nev being real! even the guys facebook and instagram friends: they all have photos of fake-nev, photos with people nev has never met in his life. as he looks back through fake-nev’s profiles, he realizes something. he cant remember taking any of these pictures. he didnt notice it at first, he’s a well-known busy guy, sometimes photos get taken without you realizing, but upon closer review he swears that hes never even been to most of the places that fake-nev is in in these pictures. something is weird here. he needs to talk to fake-nev.

he goes through with it, being careful not to act any different than he would with any other catfish. identifies himself, his show, what the man is being contacted about. a short back-and-forth exchange occurs, just enough to confirm that there is a person active on the account, but then he goes silent. finally, hours later, nev gets a message: “are you fucking with me?” thinking the same thing, and tired and stressed from a long day of making a tv show about someone catfishing as himself, nev responds in kind. more silence from the other end, until 45 minutes later he receives an angry message accusing him of trying to ruin everything good in fake-nev’s life. curiously, though, fake-nev seems to be directing this not at nev, but at someone else, using the name of one of his facebook friends. before nev can follow up, he gets blocked. upon making logging into a new account, he sees that fake-nev is no longer friends with the person he named in the message to nev. they have a string to follow.

conversation with the (former?) friend turns out to be an incredibly fruitful endeavor. not only is she willing to talk, she wants to get on the phone so she can spill everything without having to think about it. over the phone, she tells nev about her friend, and calls him the name on fake-nev’s profile. she essentially tells the story of fake-nev and the woman who called catfish’s relationship, but from the other side. interestingly, though, the friend has thought that the OTHER person was a catfish, and has been telling fake-nev that since nearly the beginning, putting a strain on their relationship since he didnt want to believe her. she was recently blocked by him and isnt sure what broke the camels back: nev tells her about his exchange with fake-nev, and clarifies to her that his television show isnt investigating fake-nev’s partner, but fake-nev himself. this confuses the friend. she goes silent on the phone, only making vague sounds to indicate her continued presence when prompted by nev. after a little bit, she starts speaking again, sounding shaken. “nev,” she says, “why didn’t you say you look just like him?”

nev is dumbfounded. she explains. evidently this girl has never heard of nev or his show. after hearing that catfish was investigating her friend, she realized she didnt google the show or the man she would be speaking to before picking up the phone. taking a moment to do so, she finds out that nev and fake-nev look exactly the same. she presumes that fake-nev probably googled catfish, or nev himself, realized the same thing, and thought his friend was trying to trick him into breaking up with catfish’s client, leading to the confusing response. nev has no idea what to make of this. “so youve seen this man in person? met him? had conversations with him?” “yeah he was like my best friend…we talked about everything together…i mean almost everything, hes got some thing hes got with his family, never liked when the subject got brought up, so i didnt push, but other than that we know everything about each other.” nev needs to talk to fake-nev.

he enlists the help of the client. “he loves you,” he tells her, “he blocked someone who was his closest friend because she didnt think YOU were real, you need to get him to talk about his family.”

“i just dont see what this has to do with me…ok though…for you i guess” (remember that this girl got catfished by someone she thought was nev from catfish) upon talking to fake-nev and getting him to talk about his family, he reveals to her that he was raised by something of an adoptive family, though not one that treated him well. he was fooled by their abuse, believing it was love, until he overheard them one night as a teenager, awake past bedtime, talking about how they STOLE him as a baby. horrified, he sneaks back to his room, waits until they go to bed, and runs away.

years later, having developed an internet sleuthing savviness of his own, fake-nev tried to figure out where he came from. researching his parents, or rather his captors, he manages to trace their movements across the country. hes not sure where to go from there, though; there are many places they lived before the first one he can remember, and he has no way of knowing even when they kidnapped him. his only clue is his age, but he cant even be sure that they gave him the correct age. nev gets the client to ask fake-nev where his captors lived when he was born, if his age is correct. new york, just a few blocks down from the hospital where nev was born.

in a panic, nev walks away from the cameras and calls his parents. he rambles, talking too much about the case and not enough about fake-nev himself until his father finally cuts through and asks him why hes calling. nev asks a question he never thought of asking before: do i have a twin brother? before he can even finish the last word, his parents simultaneously burst into tears, confirmation in itself. regardless, nev waits on the phone as his parents gather themselves. calmer, they explain to nev what happened: hospitals were much more lax when he was born, and the hospital nev’s mother went to had a kidnapping: nev’s twin brother. heartbroken but grateful for at least one of their children, nev’s parents hid from him the fate of his twin, fearing any impact the knowledge may have had on his psyche. they raised him as if the other boy had never existed. “how did you know?” they ask him, “how did you find out?”

“i think i found him”

now its time for the meeting in person. nev contacted fake-nev, or rather nev’s brother, again after the conversation with their parents. he told him what they found out, and sent a weird selfie to prove that hes really nev, he really looks like this. it took some convincing, and a bit of time, but eventually nev’s brother agreed to have a meeting. the client is there, needing to be for the tv show, but for a catfish first nev’s parents are also present, ready to meet their son for the first time. they all wait eagerly for nev’s brother to arrive. five minutes past the agreed upon time, nev receives a text: “running late, sorry. nerves.” thirty minutes after that, nev calls his newfound brother. no answer. another forty minutes pass before nev’s parents, crestfallen, let their son know theyre going to leave. as he’s apologizing for getting them involved, and getting their hopes up, a catfish production member tells him that fake-nev had just arrived. he excitedly tell his parents and they get back into position. the cameras start rolling, nev gives a brief summary of whats happened, and then its time for the moment of truth. everyone turns to look at the designated door in the room. after what feels like an hour, but is barely a minute, the door begins to creak open. walking into the room is…a man who looks exactly like nev.

crying, gasping, hugging as a family is reunited. the parents take up the most time and space, crowding and smothering their long-lost son with the love they never got to give him. after they’re convinced to let the man go so they can continue filming the tv show, the formerly-suspected-catfish looks toward nev, who directs him first to the client. the client, who has seemed uninterested ever since she realized real-nev is married and faithful, is surprised by this outcome and willing to see if fake-nev really is close enough. finally, for what is planned to be the final scene of the show, nev and his brother shake each others hand on camera, introducing themselves to each other. the handshake breaks into a hug as they are overcome with emotion and hide their faces from the camera. upon the hugs end, nev indicates he wants to spend time with his brother to get to know each other; his brother asks if they can start tonight.

later that evening, the filming for the final season of catfish has finished, and nev has gone out to a bar with his brother. they uber back to nev’s brother’s house to crash for the night; nev has a hotel room, but come on man, this way we can keep it up in the morning and we only need one uber, i can drive you to your hotel tomorrow its fine, tomorrow just call ahead if youre gonna be late for something theyll understand youre with your brother! they enter the study, a moderately-sized room with the walls covered in bookshelves and a desk near the back wall. indicating for nev to sit in one of the comfortable-looking scarlet chairs in front of the desk, fake-nev walks around to the table behind the desk, picking up a decanter with a brown liquid and two scotch glasses. as he watches his brother pour more drinks, nev closes his eyes, still in disbelief that he has another brother, a twin brother, from whom he was separated at both, but who he met through his pop culture sensation tv show. he ruminates on his good fortune until he hears something unexpected: a woman’s voice. what’s more, he’s sure he’s heard that voice before, but cannot quite place where.

nev opens his eyes and looks directly in front of him. the light seems dimmer, the desk in front of him somehow duller than before. behind the desk sits the decanter with two glasses of scotch. fake-nev is nowhere to be seen. “you’re actually just stupid arent you,” he heard the woman’s voice again, coming from behind him. he stands up and turns around as gracefully as he can in his drunken stupor. as he does so, he feels a sharp pain in his abdomen. looking down, he sees a hand holding the hilt of a letter opener up to his body. as the hand removes the blade from the wound, nev’s gaze follows the motion up the arm and to the stone-straight face of his long-lost brother. swimming in pain, confusion, and betrayal, he can do nothing but stare and watch as the person in front of him grabs at the bottom of their neck and seems, to nev’s great horror, to pull of their face. the horror shifts, however, as he realized that they didnt pull of their face, but an incredibly life-like rubber mask. “this is for making me look fucking pathetic,” says angela wesselman, the woman who catfished nev in the 2000s and started his entire career by being the subject of the catfish documentary, as she stabs nev again.

after a shot of the outside of the house, we re-enter to see angela in her kitchen. nev’s phone in hand, she clears her throat before dialing a number. “hey,” she says in a perfect recreation of nev’s voice. “i know its late, but i had to get to you. i changed my mind. i want to keep doing the show.”

[single-malt-scotch]

i guess its time for me to really criticize game mechanics of the new Life series huh

WL is in a weird place because of each episode having a new "gimmick". and the fact no one knows what it is. the snails were silly and i found them funny at first but i was immediately put off by the swift deaths-- why not make people die in 2 hits? 3? the spawn death for bdubs' could've been wait worse if his set up for the bed couldnt get him an out, ya know? thats a concern to consider and im glad it didnt seem to cause a problem for anyone else.

but then you add in ways snails can get hurt and die, while the players themself cant touch them- they can drown. bdubs tried to stop his from drowning and he died because he got too close anyways. multiple people drowned because of them. seems like itd make sense to try and stop players from killing them but they could have just.... made it so snails werent affected by drowning at all????? instead of allowing them to drown and hurt the player???

they put a lot of effort into this mod. the models, animations, the functions generally accounted for everything and they werent able to cheat around the snails. i hate to make the accusation of these snails being made with some marketing intentions but last year's season revolved around a merch period during holiday season and now the series seems to be shifted to this season for good-- but the lack of testing literally anything ever made this just feel like the cute looking gimmick to me and not something good for the actual gameplay for the episode

i mean, nobody got anything done really. bdubs runs around anxiously the entire hour long episode. some people may have managed to do a bit more but the fact is some (many) were caught up in not dying the entire time and that was it. thats not really enjoyable in the end imo, as i look back at the episode i watched and cant say i can point out anything notable when most interactions were just about being scared.

and of course you have all the death. 37?????? three red names, four yellow. skizz killed multiple people but still didnt get to green (and yeah, get to find out they gain a life when they kill so thats neat i guess). i cant say this is the worst balancing until we truly see the gimmicks going forward but this felt not great at the end. getting a life from killing someone else can only do so much with this many deaths, this early in the season. and with examples like skizz, gaining lives isnt a promise to "catch up" this early, due to success rate and chosing who to kill too.

my main issues i think are

1) instant damage, especially in a setting where theyre unaware of what happens so, of course they had no clue to consequence. if it was almost all their hearts they could have time to react and realize for the very start, but still danger enough to scare them

2) the threat was way too big and was a complete distraction from the entire episode for the players, many didnt get anything done and its not great entertainment

3) it lasted for the entire 3 hour session. which again, means it took up the entire episode but bro i cannot imagine trying to deal with that stress for the entire session as a player either lol. it was a bit much to make them deal with for 3 hours.

in general i said from the start i like the idea of gimmicks but ones that force death? never sound good to me. like some of the SL situations, it takes out the actual survival element of the series. theyre no longer surviving, theyre facing a gimmick that expects them to die. and this throws off what feels natural and more satisfying. knowing right off the bat a snail could kill someone made me know thats all this episode would be, and there was nothing they could do about it, and that kinda sucks. and the fact it resulted in 37 deaths kinda spells to me that wasnt good balancing.

me: wow i sure hope this season of Life SMP wont have any balance issues

Wild Life episode 3:

[shoezuki]

the axe of peace being seen as some sort of Important Leverage to me is so funny like. it’s clear it has no more value than any of techno’s others tools, and he didn’t instantly replace them when he lost them simp,y because he is cool and epic and understands narratives and importance of uniqueness. the only reason the axe got singled axe bc raccooninnit at one point was like “can i have this?? can i have this??” and ofc techno would go No u child. the symbolism behind giving it tommy was his way of acknowledging actual Friendship not just Child I Must Tolerate. so it is both a)tommy specific b) not about the axe at all. the importance behind the axe was the gesture of giving not inany way about the item itself. mans prefers to pvp with a sword anyways even on 1.16 the axe is just necessary for disabling shields lmao

yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeaheyaheayeahyeahyaeha like the only reason the axe has ever meant anything was Technoblade. even now frankly it as an object has no use to him. he doesnt need it anymore. technoblade himself gave it a form of importance in the server cuz King Shit mans knows how to finesse this shit

thats like the major reason i feel no one else really Interpreted it as such like. its called ‘the axe of peace’ and as i said i feel thats what gave tommy like. the idea of ‘no techno i Am worthy of it’. because it had Peace in the name. and thus he uses it against dream. but frankly the name had no meaning

altho shoutout to ranboo. he completely understood it lbr. like him making technoblade an axe and gifting it to him was Phenomenal i could wax poetry about that shit. 

like. ranboo no doubt saw how technoblade Gave tommy the axe and his trust, and knew that a beautiful way of showing both similarities and differences between how ranboo and techno’s relations can develop, versus how tommy and techno’s relationship went bust. like ranboo gifting and making that axe was a clear indication of ranboo reaching out to techno on more level grounds rather than just. seeing him as a bloodthirsty weapon yknow? and god it got us all so good. ranboo knows whatsup

but yea. still. i feel the axe really lost it’s touch once tommy took it and refused to give it back, then it passed through hands and ended up in the previous scene of tommy killing dream with it. that part really doesnt make sense to me still n like i can see How and Why they figured itd be good in that situation but it still falls flat imo.

[rawmeknockout]

Oh my gosh I feel like I’m ordering food,

-could I get uuuhhhh. LL crew reactions to their s/o telling them they are carrying their sparkling.

rodimus

over the moon, bursting out of his armor, skipping across the universe, ready to take optimus by the shoulders and shake him. he's going to be a sire. he's going to have sparklings of his very own to nurture and love and raise. oh primus he's got to prepare. what if he's not good enough? what if he hurts them? hes got to start getting ready to take on this new responsibility. cries during every doctors visit with you. ratchet puts him out in the waiting room to sort himself out. rodimus talks animatedly every night about what he's going to teach your children and the sort of adventures he'll take them on and, of course, that he'll love them no matter the alt mode. he really hopes theyre a speedster like him, though. so he can take them racing when theyre older. very touchy and always has his hands on your belly. even when you're very clearly with sparkling, it doesn't feel real to him.

megatron

oh primus is it too late to get rid of it now? not that he doesnt want a sparkling (i mean he doesnt) he's just got a lot of enemies that would be happy to take you out. even people that arent necessarily out to get him would NOT be happy with the fact that he has a spawn coming into the world. its bad enough you talked him into a relationship when you should know better than to involve yourself closely with someone like him. but he'll take responsibility for what he's created if you want to keep the sparkling. thats his kid and he'll do what he must to keep the two of you alive and happy. never really intended to have sparklings but the thought is novel and sweet to him with time. the domestic seems so far away from the live he's cultivated, who he was and still carries with him, but he wants that life. if he can find a way to provide that quiet sort of bliss, he'll do whatever he has to. optimus is your sparkling's godfather. he declares himself as such after he finds out. megatron doesnt get a word in edgewise.

tailgate + cyclonus

oh the mini is over every single moon from cybertron to earth. he cant believe this is his life. cyclonus has to hold and shush him when you tell the both of them, and thus he doesn't get to fully express his own emotions at the revelation. when you two have a quiet moment alone, cyclonus will lovingly stroke your head and ask to press his helm to your chest. the sparkling is just barely growing at this point, of course, nothing more than a clump of energy, but if he focuses maybe he can very briefly feel it's spark's pull. just for a moment, just a flicker. tailgate and cyclonus both fuss over names. tailgate likes more cutesy names, but cyclonus doesn't want a sparkling turning out like.... well, him and having a name like bit or bug. he prefers more traditional names. they both collaborate on the aesthetics of the sparklings nursery, though, and build a lot of the furniture by hand. their sparkling isnt going to sleep on any old cheap junk!

drift + ratchet

ratchet is actually the one to tell you that you're with sparkling, then you two have to tell drift. it's an everyday thing. drift wakes up shaking and blubbering about how he's going to be a sire and ratchet has to calm him down bc he's going to stress you out. drift is absolutely ecstatic. rodimus throws you guys multiple sparkling showers, but it's really an excuse for the entire crew to help out with buying you guys what you need. even if drift can afford a thousand sparklings, the entire crew wants to be involved with rearing your kin. at least you've got the best medical team on your side, and ratchet is going to make SURE that you are taking your supplements everyday at the same time. as much as he grumps that he's too old to be raising a sparkling, he's just as excited as everyone else. he just doesn't want to pressure you indirectly into keeping the sparkling if you decide to terminate.

rewind + chromedome

rewind is Stressed. he still has a lot of internalized prejudice about his own alt form and to think he might "curse" a sparkling with the same shortcomings of his function has him sort of tweaking. he's not even sure he wants to be a sire! thankfully chromedome is (mostly) taking everything in stride and trying to take it day by day. they're both the worst of worriers. chromedome has his own qualms, not wanting the little sparkling to take on his habit of addictions and self destruction. he worries it's going to be carried down in his coding, that the sparkling will have no choice but to carry out the same self destructive life he has. you all have some pretty serious deep talks about whether terminating would be more merciful to any potential kin of yours, but rewind and chromedome cant help already being attached to the notion that they could have a normal, happy family. that the three of you could conquer everything even the problems that arise from child rearing. they're responsible and self reflective to the point of getting in the way of their own happiness. all plans for how to go about taking care of a sparkling are really taken in stride after you all decide to just take the leap. they want to enjoy the bliss for a little while.

perceptor + brainstorm

brainstorm is nearly to the point of malfunctioning when you tell him. the thought that you could bear his sparkling never even crossed his processor! he plays it pretty fast and loose in the berthroom, so it was really only a matter of time. not exactly the most forward thinking bitch here. perceptor is sighing and rubbing his nasal ridge, but he expected as much. really, it's not the idea of having a spakrling that is giving him a helmache, it's the fact that brainstorm seems SURPRISED by the consequences of his actions. perceptor wants to look at all the possible alternatives, even if he doesn't think you'll end up taking them. after all, it's better to hypothesize the probably outcome and then decide from there on the best course of action. brainstorm is only interested in having a sparkling, though. he thinks he's ready. after all, he's one of the most brilliant minds to come from cybertron! raising a sparkling should be easy enough. at last easier than building a time machine! they both get into heated debates over the whiteboard on what name to choose. brainstorm is so sure it's going to be a flyer, but perceptor is dead set on NOT making the sparkling have a flight focused designation when they dont even know the altmode yet. (he's hoping it ends up being a microscope like him or maybe a gun he just thinks that would be tight)

i was going to do more but this post started getting long so maybe another time ill finish it up!