#and i cannot guarantee anyone else's enjoyment

[bogkeep]

there's actually a brand new norwegian netflix drama about salmon CEOs that takes place on an island in central norway. everyone speaks trønder dialect. i actually had a lot of fun watching it

[pikahlua]

Uh oh, it's sleepy grumpy Pika. Y'all know what that means, right?

It means I have no filter for my opinions.

If you're dissatisfied with the way Katsuki's bullying of Izuku is handled in MHA because you expected him to be confronted by someone else about it in some way, it's probably because you are unaware of the difference between bullying and attitudes towards it in Japan versus in your country of origin. I believe everyone would benefit from researching bullying in Japan. They do NOT view it the same way the west does, y'all.

And I guarantee when you learn about it, you're gonna find some stuff that makes you uncomfortable and horrified, because it's gonna take a while for you to get enough information to give context to a lot of the history and attitudes you'll find. AND EVEN THEN, EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE THAT CONTEXT, you're still definitely not going to like it.

However, with any luck, you'll see how MHA's portrayal of Katsuki's bullying is shockingly sympathetic and heartwarming to many people. It's because, from the perspective of a Japanese audience, Izuku was not targeted and bullied by Katsuki in the way we're used to seeing such situations portrayed in the west. Izuku was bullied by everyone. His classmates, his teachers, the pro heroes he encountered, and society in general ALL participated in the bullying of Izuku, because societal pressures to conform in Japan are MASSIVE, and that can often manifest as one form of bullying or another.

Katsuki's bullying is just the one that the story chooses to flesh out. It's the one that Horikoshi develops. Katsuki is the bully that changes his own perspective first and drastically, the one who realizes the greatness in Izuku and accepts that and comes to his side long before the rest of society can catch up. It is largely understood by the Japanese audience that Katsuki in middle school didn't seek Izuku out and follow him home every day to beat him up; Katsuki mostly ignored Izuku until Izuku would do something to remind Katsuki of his insecurities, and so he would lash out. And no one else at let's say Izuku's middle school would understand the true reason why Katsuki would lash out because what he does resembles what all of Izuku's bullies do to him: pressure him to conform. Pre-One For All Izuku stands out as different and constantly tries to rise above his position to become something society decrees he cannot be. Therefore, a significant part of Japanese society will generally approve of attempts to make him conform, even when some of those attempts are harsh and cruel and unreasonable and reactionary. MHA presents a caricature of that in the form of Izuku's middle school.

The fact that Katsuki identifies this toxic behavior in himself later in the story and decides to actively do something to change it IS the radical part. It's the piece that fits into the themes of MHA. It highlights a generally-accepted behavior in society that maybe society should rethink. It's asking for society to reconsider how it pressures people to conform, that sometimes nonconformity is good or at least should be tolerated to some degree. That's why Katsuki's story focuses so much on how his old behavior stems from fear. From the perspective of a "properly-functioning" collectivist society, pressure to conform should be done for the good of everyone in the society, not out of fear and misunderstanding. Katsuki's character arc provides one potential map for others in society to see the light and get to where he does.

And that's to say nothing of how Japan's versions of confrontation or retribution often look different from how they do in the west, that many of the forms of confrontation some people in the western fandom cry out for with regards to Katsuki sound absurd to an audience in the know. The karmic punishments Katsuki endures throughout the story are often overlooked by western readers, and is it any surprise? That readers from some societies--societies that laud nonconformity, tolerate counterculture, openly criticize the systems that be, preach about individual freedom and responsibility and justice and fairness, and watch and make movies and TV shows and other media about how victims of bullies achieve their righteous revenge--often miss how MHA doles out subtle, divine, poetic, karmic consequences for Katsuki's actions? That such readers often don't feel satisfied by MHA's dramatic ironies which serve more to guide Katsuki in a harmonious, productive direction rather than vindictively punish him and rest on its laurels as it laughs at his deserved misfortune? I don't blame anyone for feeling unsatisfied when their own societies have built up their expectations in such ways, but I do hope to draw your attention to it.

Now, does that mean you have to like and accept the Japanese attitudes about bullying? That you have to agree with the framing of pressure to conform as beneficial and productive? That, if you're triggered by the lack of overt condemnation of bullying in the story, you still have to like MHA? That, if you have personal traumatic experiences with Japan's bullying situation, you should shut up about it and accept that it's a good thing? No! In fact, I personally would hope that you don't! I think everyone should always have their perspectives on ANYTHING challenged so they can rethink and improve them, and Japan's attitude towards bullying is no exception! (And MHA actually does that in its own way!)

(And even saying that, I will always acknowledge that my perspective and opinions on this issue are heavily colored by my own experiences in life and the society in which I grew up and the ideas to which I've been exposed. This is and always will be my bias.)

But the question of what's the correct take on bullying is an entirely different beast. The question at hand here is about understanding the story and its characters as presented in MHA. If you don't come at this with a basic acknowledgement of how Katsuki's story reads to a Japanese audience in-context, you're going to be upset about what you see (which is a reasonable reaction). But I think if you're going to read a story, it's only due courtesy to understand the context surrounding its creation before you try to hold it to far-removed, foreign standards. There's a reason literature classes go over the history and context surrounding the older works they study. MHA is a Japanese story written for a Japanese audience. To focus on how it does not adhere to the typical western narrative of a bully's character arc is to miss the point entirely. If you are reading the story outside of Japan in a language other than Japanese, it is being translated so that you can read a Japanese story, not a story from your own culture. It's rude and self-defeating to expect stories from other cultures to suddenly cater to your own.

TL;DR Understanding the social context that informs bullying in MHA just might actually make the story more comprehensible and enjoyable for anyone who dares to learn about it, what do you have to lose?

[adelrambles]

Tips on Writing Bishop

I've been asked a couple times for advice on how to write a good (03-style) Bishop, and I'm well-aware he can be a bit tough to get a grasp on. As someone who's studied him specifically to learn how to write him as accurately as possible, I figured I'd compile some thoughts in case it'd be helpful to anyone else. I know a lot of Rise takes on him are basing off the 03 version, so maybe this could help generate ideas, too. SO!

Big Overall Points!

At the core of EVERYTHING Bishop does are two primary motivations. The first: the protection of the earth. What this means to him can get tricky, because it doesn't necessarily mean protecting the people, at least not all of them. But it will be better understood alongside the other:

The second: The protection of his sense of safety. Bishop has been deeply traumatized, and everything he does is born of a want to avoid that pain ever again. In his mind, earth is a safe area, a controllable factor, and anything outside it is a danger that must be eliminated. This is why he will still be willing to put himself and other people on the line in service of this; any sacrifice is worth the greater goal. (It's worth noting, Bishop will claim the first as his motivation freely, but is likely not consciously aware of the second.)

Bishop deals in Big Picture ONLY. Another reason Bishop will willingly throw away anything, including the lives of the people he claims to protect, is that he seems incapable of understanding things on a small, individual basis.

Bishop is a cold personality. He does not have strong displays of emotion. He does emote, but for the most part it's muted, so I recommend using emotional bursts very sparingly. (In my own writing, as an example, I try to limit my use of exclamation marks in his dialogue as much as possible.)

At his core, Bishop is afraid, and his response to fear is aggression. This also makes it particularly difficult to talk him down, if he's put in an emotional state. His response to not being in control is often violent retaliation.

With those basic tenants understood, let's move next to some major personality traits:

Bishop is a controlling personality. This is a direct result of his trauma response. Things that can be controlled are safe, therefore he must control everything. If something cannot be controlled, it's a threat that must be eliminated. If he doesn't know why something happened, he becomes angry (including even when it benefits him.)

Bishop is very low-empathy. When writing him, I try to keep in mind that he cannot put himself in the perspective of others. (Or if he can, he doesn't care to.)

Bishop is a sadist. He gets personal enjoyment from hurting others.

Bishop likes fighting, but only when he's winning. He will quickly leave if he can't see a guaranteed victory.

Bishop is paranoid. This is probably self-evident, but it's the reason he's often so well-prepared even when things don't go to plan.

Bishop genuinely seems to enjoy science. He's shown to be far more lenient with scientist characters than anyone else, and he seems to involve himself in his scientists' projects to a degree. Enough to, at the very least, understand their work. (Given he was the one set to dissect the turtles, it might also be argued he has some medical or biology background, himself.)

Bishop is an opportunist and scavenger. He can roll with failures as long as he can find something to get out of it. If he's presented with an opportunity to stab someone in the back, and he has something to gain? He'll take it without a second thought.

Bishop is deeply self-blind. For all his perceptiveness and strategic prowess, Bishop is not very self-aware in the slightest. He is completely blind to his own hypocrisies, and thoroughly confident in his own righteousness.

Bishop adapts fast. He accepts situations for what they are and acts (Though he may still be angry about them, or what have you.) This is likely a skill developed via longevity; the world around him has changed rapidly, but he doesn't feel out of place at all.

Bishop will take extreme risks and thinks wildly outside the box. Also self-evident, if you're familiar with the plans he enacts throughout the show. He'll put a lot on the line if he thinks the reward is worth enough, and he's willing to go to extreme lengths to get what he wants, even if his plans would be considered crazy by normal standards.

Bishop is persistent. If he wants something, he won't stop until he gets it. If he fails, he'll retreat, make a new plan, and try again. It is very difficult to convince him to back down (and certainly not on moral grounds.)

Habits and triggers I've noted:

Being restrained of any sort puts Bishop in a panic. He is more likely to have an emotional response in these scenarios, and seems to have (an albeit muted) desperation to escape. (See: Leatherhead restraining him in the first encounter; His reaction to being trapped on the surgical table in Head of State.)

When being duplicitous or suppressing a reaction, Bishop will go to adjust his tie. This could possibly be considered his tell.

Bishop seems to have a particular fear of aliens blending in as humans. His slayer project was built around the assumption that this is a common threat. (Worth noting: This makes The Shredder the model of the exact threat Bishop is afraid of. Technically, Bishop himself may also fit the description of a threat shaped like a human.)

Writing considerations:

In 03's narrative, Bishop is EPF and EPF is Bishop. Narratively speaking, any organization Bishop is head of acts as if it is an extension of his will and character.

Bishop is shown to strike fear and/or discomfort into most characters he interacts with. Anything beyond this is an outlier, and will draw a reader's attention.

Dialogue-wise, Bishop is generally succinct and blunt. He does dabble in gloating, though, and especially likes to upset others. If he's given a chance to be mean, he'll usually take it. It can help to consider he has a Mission Mode and a Normal Mode. When it comes to Mission Mode, he gets straight to the point and hates unnecessary talking. Otherwise, he's still not very talkative, but will take the time to make pointed jabs or talk through a plan. A lot of his sense of humor seems to be rooted in how He's Better Than You (And You're Going To Die Painfully.)

It's a common pitfall that Bishop is depicted as seeking out the turtles. In 03, once he gets their DNA, he's done with them. Any encounters after that are incidental. Bishop does not care about anything that won't effect his greater goal. If he's targeting another character, it should have to do with a greater plan.

Bishop is an extremely competent combatant, shown to be able to handle up to 7 opponents at once. For a breakdown on his fighting style check out my other post on that!

Bishop is hard to kill, and oftentimes he accidentally contributes to his own defeat. (The hook from Bishop's Gambit is an example I get a LOT of mileage out of, as a perfect symbol of his self-defeating prophecies.)

We almost only ever see Bishop in the context of his work. While it could be construed that he depersonalizes himself, it's much more clear that the narrative depersonalizes him. As far as we, the audience know, Bishop's work is all that he is.

It's unclear if Bishop was released from his abduction or escaped. Depending on which you ascribe to, this can have ramifications for his mindset on how to deal with the alien threat. (Personally, because so much of his inability to cope hinges on a feeling of helplessness, I believe he was released. If he escaped on his own power, that undercuts it, somewhat.)

Thematically-speaking, Bishop parallels both his own torturers and his own victims at the same time. He has perpetuated the cycle that traumatized him in the first place by trying to fight fire with fire. (In that vein, I don't think he's capable of understanding that, not seeing aliens as people in the first place, just dangers. Considering how deeply ingrained his trauma is in his worldview and actions, it would probably ruin him, if he were ever able to actually grasp it.)

Bishop and EPF are likely a commentary on the military of the time 03 was coming out. This can be something worth keeping in mind, when figuring out his greater themes in your story, though it can just as well be discarded if it doesn't fit.

Adding to that, Bishop has an extensive american military background. His skills and knowledge will reflect that.

Bishop also plays on and references a number of real-life alien conspiracies. It can be worth digging through conspiracy history to drum up ideas and themes, too.

The ethical and philosophical quandaries of Bishop's body-hopping and humanity tend to not hold too much weight, because Bishop, himself, doesn't seem to care.

If I think of more I'll certainly be adding on to the reblogs of this post! Or, if you have more thoughts, please feel free to add! If you're in the mood for more Bishop ramblings, that's practically most of this blog atm, but this post is a particular favorite. If you're interested in Fast Forward!Bishop, specifically, consider this post! (also read Taking Pawns. slipped in that self-promo, nice.)

[astaroth1357]

Showing the OM Cast Trashy Reality TV Shows

We all have our weaknesses. Mine is called "Watching People Who Watch Reality Shows Talk About Reality Shows I'll Never Actually Watch."

Contents: Well I mean. Reality TV if that spooks you.

~♡♡♡~

Lucifer

You cannot convince me this isn't a guilty pleasure of his. I can absolutely see him pulling on some sweatpants and watching Love Island with MC on lazy day.

Sometimes, when your life is stressful, you just want to sit down and watch the DUMBEST thing possible. Pure junk food for the gray matter, you know? Can't get enough of the trashy romance shows in particular.

He gets pretty invested, even if he denies it. He'll usually pick out a favorite person or favorite couple and gets PISSED if anything happens to them. Everyone else, he couldn’t care less about.

If he misses a week, he'll get a text from MC asking if his favorite person/couple is still doing okay and nothing more. If something big happened though, he'll secretly clear his schedule so he has time to watch it with them as soon as possible.

Very "husband who says he doesn't care but the second you mention the name of a person he doesn't like, he'll go on a 20 minute tirade" sorta vibe.

Mammon

A very enthusiastic enjoyer of these kinds of shows. He loves the drama!

Definitely has one of the long running-types (like Vanderpump Rules) like a comfort show, though he mostly sticks to Demon RTV. MC isn't going to have a CLUE what 2nd Circle Beats or Devildom Dynasty is all about...

Mammon strikes me as someone who either has been on or auditioned for a reality show in the past. Just... look at him. Tell me he hasn't!

His modeling agent probably told him to so he could get better shoots... But I'll guess he was pretty popular on whatever he showed up on. Fan favorite for sure!

Would definitely show MC some of his favorite shows if they're into that short of thing. Demon RTV is.... edgier (the violence gets pretty heated) but the causes are all the same. They should be in for a good time!

Leviathan

Reality TV is for normies!! Why would he want to watch that???

The very thought of watching attractive people go on and on about their love lives makes him physically ill... Like he doesn't get enough of that stuff from Asmo and Mammon already!!

If MC is going to try and get him to watch ANY of them, it has to be a show that's almost guaranteed to be a mess from the outset like Love After Lockup or MILF Manor (which is a crime against humanity, btw. Sigmund Freud haunts us all.)

Make him sit through a second of Too Hot to Handle or F-Boy Island and he may straight up dump them. Or melt into a smoldering pile of envious goo.

If easy-watching is what they want, why can't they watch something else? Like a cuddly Slice-of-Life or some dumb card game anime?? There's even sports anime FAR more worth their investment with a billion times the substance!!

Not a reality TV fan. Keep it away from him. He'll whine, mope, or go ballistic if he has to see it.

Satan

Approaches human reality shows kind of like he's watching a nature documentary... but still laughs at the stupid bits.

Watching a trashy reality show with Satan can be pretty entertaining because he'll spend the whole time trying to grasp "human culture" from all the chaos. Or try to deconstruct why anyone would want to what these shows AS one is playing.

What's even funnier is when he makes comparisons between how things happen in the show and how they would play out in Devildom instead. Like, if a succubus catches their SO cheating, they'll either add the new partner into the relationship or behead them both. Depends on the day.

Particularly fond of one's that follow around bombastic families because then he also gets to pick apart human family dynamics in the process.

MC has to constantly remind him that a lot of it is staged and not EVERYTHING he sees to true to human life.... but it is true to human entertainment.

Asmodeus

Keeps up with both human AND demon reality shows and has even hosted a couple in the past!

He LIVES for the tea! He BREATHES in the drama! Man can't get enough!! He'll even skim through the tabloids and keeps up with any feuds like he's following genuine war updates.

Since Asmo is such a popular figure in Devildom public life, it isn't even surprising for the paparazzi to stop HIM to get a few photos and ask him his opinions on any fights or scandals.

Unlike Mammon, he's never been in one himself (MC has no idea how bloody Demon RTV can get and does he want to ruin his skin like that?? Hell no!). He doew hang out with the stars of shows he likes all of the time, though.

He sometimes has watch parties with Mammon and MC gets invited along now. Being in the middle of those two is insane because it's like getting to know ALL of the dirty laundry of the kingdom's elite at every get together. Gossipy bitches be chattin' fr.

Beelzebub

Man will watch anything as long as they supply the snacks.

Does Beel care about reality shows? No. Not even a little bit. Will he watch all 16 seasons of Married at First Sight as long as MC refills his popcorn bowl? Absolutely!

Honestly, poor Beel can hardly keep up with the drama anyway... If a show has too many love triangles, he'll lose track of who's dating who and sit there lost for an excruciating amount of time.

Was even more confused about why anyone would watch these shows after MC told them they were staged. All that shouting is over nothing...?? This is a really weird genre...

MC would have an easier time getting him invested in like... I dunno a cooking game show than anything having to do with relationship drama. Though they would run the risk of soaking the couch in drool if they try...

Belphegor

Not super into them or super against them. He'll watch one in the background until he inevitably falls asleep.

Belphie is probably one of the brothers most likely to agree to watch any reality show MC wants with them, but with the understanding that's he's only using it as an excuse for cuddle time.

Belphie weirdly has both zero emotional investment in anything happening on the screen but also a frighteningly good memory for what actually happens per episode... MC could quiz him on actor personalities, timelines, scandals, or relationships and he'll somehow always get it right.

He can tell you that Vassago and Sitri from 2nd Circle Beats are having a feud over who sent the succubus to crash Baal's birthday party, but seriously don't expect him to care. He wants soft blankets and warm bodies to nap to. Give him that and he's happy.

Part of it is just learned behavior. Belphie was Asmo's go-to watch buddy for the longest time. Whatever part of his brain that soaks up class lessons in his sleep seems to work just as well for the dramatic minutiae of a reality show, so he's like a walking DVR.

Diavolo

Thinks that all reality shows are so quaint and amusing, but they definitely skew his impression on everyday human life...

After being exposed to some of the longer running shows, he was really surprised that MC and Solomon are so... chill with each other?

I mean. They weren't throwing drinks, talking shit, or stabbing each other in the back every second of day, right? Obviously they must be quite close!

He even comments on how truly well they must get along as Master and Apprentice! Such a beautiful bond... Stronger than their natural human impulse for complete social and emotional disorder!!

(Please educate him on actual human dynamics and NOT just the ones that get dramatized for TV. We're not that bad, Dia, promise.)

Barbatos

Doesn't exactly like the shows, nor does he have time for them, but if MC likes them then he'll swallow his distain.

Honestly, Barbs looks down on the humans in reality shows even more than he does most of humanity in general. The things some of them would do to chase fame is simply... Well. He looks forward to seeing certain individuals among damned one day.

He probably busies himself by giving MC a foot rub or caring for their nails while they watch their shows. Anything that can keep his eyes off the screen.

Occasionally, something OUTRAGEOUS will happen and MC will hear him make a small scoff of disapproval, but that's about it.

He's well aware that a portion of what is presented is fake or at least staged to some degree, so he doesn't let it paint his perception of human culture. That said, he thinks that anyone who's willing to make a spectacle of themselves for a public audience speaks quite enough on its own. (And seriously don't get him started on the demon variety of these shows unless you want to seem him get grouchy).

Simeon

Also not the biggest fan, but he does enjoy getting to guiltlessly throw shade from time to time.

At some level, Simeon thinks it's a little impolite to gawk at total strangers and judge how they handle their relationships... butvon the other hand, they ARE the ones who agreed to the cameras so...

Has a strict policy to never watch reality shows in front of Luke so he doesn't get a bad influence. But also, so the little angel doesn't end up hearing the absolute INFERNO that Simeon roasts the actors with.

"Ah... So naturally gifted in all but wits!" "I do believe that young man is quite familiar... I think I once saw something much like him at the bottom of my shoe." "Mm? MC? Are you sitting on the remote? I think you may have changed the channel to Devildom TV... No? Oh. My mistake. They just seemed so heartless that I thought they'd fit in well here..."

Tearing. Scathing. His contempt cannot be contained. It is, however, a good outlet for him so please let him roast away!

Solomon

Guy is so out of touch with the modern era that watching these shows is just as bizarre to him as watching a viewing screen into a Victorian ballroom would be to us. Who keeps creating these strange words every other month...?

Reality dating shows give him whiplash. People get married now after 90 days? Or at first sight?? Or before they even SEE each other at all??? The last time he ever thought of courtship, it was still mostly arranged by the couple's families... Things have really sped up.

Not that he's complaining too much, because that gives him all the more reason to go through with his fantasy of proposing to then marry the MC in less than 12 hours (or however long before the brothers notice he's attempting to steal them away).

He feels like he has a leg up on the angels and demons around them for once because at least MC doesn't have to stop and explain human customs to him every five seconds. ... Just the modern ones.

I feel like watching Reality TV with Solomon is a very, "Let's get a little drunk and laugh at the screen" sort of affair. Very loose with a lot of jokes flying at the actors expense. He may or may not remember what all happens in the show, but hey, it's good fun!

[jojoma]

Some time ago I wrote out points why I ship Astarion with Karlach (them remains my favorite and headcanonical ship in the entire game). But I understand how conflicting and possibly traumatic the relationship is. I wanted to write a lil bit about this. But it'll be a long post 😁

The game is currently bugged in such a way that the couple doesn't have a happy end (in my opinion, cuz Karlach return to Avernus only with AA), but there is an absolutely sad ending (when spawn Astarion runs away from the sun and Karlach die alone). I, like many other hellspawn enjoyers (snezhjeyka, decembersiris), thought about how much it would be better if they died together on the pier. At least it's better than what is happening in the spawn Astarion playthrough by now (described above). They both are deprived of a normal life, both refuse to live without what is valuable to them (Faerûn, sun) and without each other, and both turn to dust. It's very poetic, tragic and etc. But I'm more interested in angst before this.

I mean only the player knows all the variations of events. For example, that Karlach can be fixed or that Karlach cannot be turned into a vampire. The relationship has no prospects from their points of view, and the options that they have cannot completely satisfy both.

Karlach dies quite quickly. She can die in her beloved world or try to survive in the hells. And we all know what Karlach think about it — she would rather die now and here. But as soon as Karlach start relationship with someone, it becomes also her lover’s problem. It would be strange if her partner accepted that Karlach would die so soon without even trying to convince her. Now put Astarion into this place: he is just beginning to heal and feel alive. Even before he defeat Cazador, loving relationship with a patient and gentle partner (such as Karlach) can influence him in a good way. So Astarion is afraid to lose his lover and Karlach is afraid to return to Zariel’s place.

On the other hand, Astarion needs to decide what he'll do with the ritual and soon enough. And unlike Karlach, he doesn't know what to do. In my opinion, if Astarion could make the choice on his own, based on background he would be choose ascension. The decisive factor in the other direction can only be his love interest. My strong headcanon is this: as Astarion will not agree with her early death, as Karlach will never agree to become his spawn (10 years of slavery to Zariel was enough for my babygirl). And any of other companions or Tav/Durge as Astarion's lover can offer to stay with him, help him full recover and adapt to a new life (anyway spawn Astarion will be alone in the future). Karlach doesn't have such opportunity at the moment, and her condition lead into the hell with no guarantee of survival or return to Faerûn. It requires some sacrifices from Astarion, which due to his condition, he may not be ready for.

I can imagine such dialogues before bedtime, turning into heated disputes:

— I'm worried about your condition, Karlach. — I don't want to talk about it. — There's other options. I think you should return to Avernus with me. — Well, and I think you shouldn't get involved to the ascension ritual. I know you want to take Cazador's place. — It's not up to you to decide. This way I can protect you and may even save you by turning you into a vampire. — I'll never become yours or anyone else's spawn, thank you!

I need to stop making myself sad 😢 They deserve a very very happy end.

[jeanbie]

SLYTHERIN! ZEKE ★ masterlist.

part of the "hogwarts" series  ੈ♡‧₊˚ starting with the older characters first and going down the list <33

when zeke got his Hogwarts letter, he was confused

confused because he had no idea he was even a wizard

the very last thing he expected to find out on his 11th birthday was that his dad was a wizard, and, oh yeah, before his mom died, she was a witch, too

so he's very cautious and doubtful about going to a magical boarding school, no matter how prestigious his dad keeps saying it is

who names their school Hogwarts anyway?

i don't even think zeke is 100% aware of the house prejudices until he gets sorted into Slytherin and realises the cute girl he met on the train no longer wants to go near him

but eventually as the years progress, zeke becomes less bothered by the people who actually care about what robes you wear and house you represent

and very quickly, everybody around him seems to follow suit

for zeke gains his own reputation very fast — and not for any of the reasons anyone expected

zeke is a little bit rude and sarcastic, which reminds whoever needs reminding of his house and how he ended up being sorted in Slytherin, but he's also very adaptable and enjoyable to be around, which is probably how everybody knows him, if not by face then almost certainly by name

he's theeee Hogwarts gossip; he knows everything about everyone and knows how to connect you to the people you need

want some magic mushrooms from Hufflepuff but got no friends in that house? dw, zeke knows a guy, and all you gotta do in return is tell zeke if that rumour is true or not 👀

definitely that Slytherin who younger students want to turn to for help or support

zeke has lost count how many times he's been forcibly dragged into petty arguments by the younger kids (although he loves the drama)

he's also that student who looks sooo much older than everybody else, which kind of automatically makes him an eccentric big brother figure to so many Slytherins

zeke doesn't give a single flying fuck about quidditch or other sports at Hogwarts, but you can guarantee he'll be up for a mean game of wizards chess against any student who dares ask

he's not even good at chess either — he always loses, especially against some of the major competitors in his year at Hogwarts like erwin or yelena

i don't believe he had a pet going to Hogwarts because his dad was like "i dont trust you" but later on when his lil brother gets a pet for his first year (not fair btw) zeke gets theeeee ugliest fattest toad possible just to spite everyone

but his frog kind of hates being essentially imprisoned in the Slytherin dungeons and so zeke ends up losing him somewhere

(one day he swims past the stained glass windows with the merpeople and zeke's just like…ok good for u)

his best class is actually ancient runes, though he's pretty good at muggle studies since his stepmom is a muggle and he was pretty much raised by her after his mama died and grisha got with carla a few yrs later

his patronus is a manx cat, though he kind of wanted a monkey since they're his favourite animals

when someone in Gryffindor puts up posters for a debate club, zeke is the first one there, stirring up drama and giving his thoughts

despite having his own very deep rooted opinions, zeke prefers to start an argument and let everybody else fight it 

he never wears his robes correctly and is always being told off for having his shirt untucked or collar undone

and even though he cares very little for quidditch, you can guarantee that zeke has somehow acquired a quidditch jumper just because they look good

is the number 1 umbridge irritator — if the weasley twins aren't giving her more grey hairs, then zeke is

he is a yapper and cannot shut up or back down from an argument, even if he doesn't even believe in the point he's arguing for

his least favourite subject is charms, but simply because it's boring and always drags on before the end of their classes for the day

he must ALWAYS read the daily prophet whilst having breakfast

once both he and eren received a joint howler once that zeke deliberately didn't open for weeks and weeks until he forgot about it and it opened itself in the middle of the night

he's probably that student who calls the professors by their first names and despite getting endless detentions, he just doesn't stop

contrary to popular belief, zeke loves the library at Hogwarts but why tf is it so dark? he's forever falling asleep in there and has to be woken up by the librarian or one of the many ghosts

has no idea what he wants to do once Hogwarts is over — he feels like there's three jobs for wizards and none of them appeal to him, but he's got a while to figure it out yet, bless him

[lovetransaction]

@nameslikeguns tagged me!

1. Are you named after anyone? Not at all. I'm not even sure where my mother got my name (which is Marissa btw) because nobody else in the family is named like that and it's not even popular in the West Indies.

2. When was the last time you cried? One of the mutuals -- I cannot recall who right now -- referred to the second Brahms movie as "Brahms: The Boy 2: More Boy" and I told my sister that when she mentioned the movie earlier tonight and we both laughed so hard we got weepy

3. Do you have kids? I do not and I never will!!

4. What sports do you play/have played? Zero.

5. Do you use sarcasm? I used to be sarcastic nonstop. It was the nineties. Then I realized that my brand was particularly nasty because I was subconsciously imitating my mother, and now I'm not like that anymore.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? Whether they meet my eyes. I engage in freakishly unsettling eye contact. In university the professors would either seek me out in the classroom because I was guaranteed to be staring attentively right at them, or they'd avoid me because idk I might steal their soul. When I worked as a purchaser for a film school I nearly made one supplier cry because I looked directly and unwaveringly at him after asking questions.

7. What's your eye color? Dark brown. (I was wearing grey fashion contacts when I made the supplier cry)

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Boo pretentious answer but whatever serves the narrative and the characters and the emotional arc.

9. Any talents? A few. I'm a decent singer and writer.

10. Where were you born? Eastern Canada.

11. What are your hobbies? Video games, writing, obsessing over foodways, watching tons of movies/tv, art blogging (I'm not an artist myself but I love it)

12. Do you have any pets? One black cat who's very grim and small (she weighs 8 lbs) named Meera.

13. How tall are you? Five foot two. If this fandom was Grey's Anatomy, I'd be Dr. Bailey.

14. Favorite subject in school? In high school, English Lit and Drama. In post-secondary it was Women's & Gender Studies and Poli Sci with a focus on critical race theory.

15. Dream job? I did (volunteer) copy editing/reviewing for an online women-run zine for comics & pop culture and that was pretty enjoyable. I'd like to do that as a paid job.

I went out for Japanese BBQ tonight and I'm sated and sleepy so I will tag everyone who sees this and hasn't done it yet! <3

[merakiui]

Meraa!! This one is for that ask game :D

(1) Okay, it's hard choosing just one (You always write BANGERS, It's THAT hard okay?), but if I'm gonna pick, it's gonna be Death Row Undertow <3 I have been down bad for SK Jade from your ramblings and thoughts and then actually getting a serialized fic of him is just the best thing to have ever happened ever since.

I love everything about it! Reader's interaction and relationship with every character in the fic, the whole atmosphere and setting, the mystery and suspense build-up (Oh, the scene when Jade kidnapped the reader will forever send shivers down my spine--), and how the point of view not only was seen from the reader and the horror she is experiencing but also seeing Riddle's effort in solving the mystery. Hell, the chapter where Cater got together with Pop Music Club again was one of my favorites! It really gives more perspective and a sense of wholeness when you're writing about the story of the reader's disappearance from so many different angles. Also, the dream sequences are also my favorite for symbolic reasons. It's just fun reading and rereading them to figure out what they truly mean ✨✨

The runner-ups for my favorite fic of yours are gonna be Android Jade, Captive Azul, CEO Azul, and 11:11 Rook 💞💞

(3) I may be biased, but the way you write for the Octatrio is *Chef's kiss* ✨✨💞💞😌😌 Both the yandere ones and the fluffy wholesome ones, like OUGHHHH OTZ OTZ They are canon in my heart now shdskdhlsdjlks--

(8) The thing that I really love about your writings is that your description is so, so, so vivid that plenty of those scenes are permanently ingrained in my memory. Adding that with your characterization and writing conversation skills, boy! It's almost like I'm actually watching a movie instead of reading cause the way you write them makes them so easy to visualize in my head (and god Mera, if I had the skills, I would've permanently etched them on drawings plenty of times by now--).

(9) THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME ✨✨ (I'm a Jade Leech enjoyer, what else can I say?) Actually, I'm always excited whenever you post any fic or ramblings <33 Always a joy to read them over breakfast like the morning newspaper. Wait no, actually, your writings ARE the breakfast cause you be COOKIN and SERVIN a whole MEAL 👏👏👏

Okay, that's all my ramblings for now, I hope they make sense-- But words cannot describe how much I adore your creations and that big brain of yours <333 I would be happy to scream more about your writings in the future, and I definitely will ✨✨ Have a lovely day Meraa 💞💞

KHEYY, HIIIII!!!

You have such good taste. (˘ ˘ ˘) sk!Jade is the most delectable and delicious Jade (pun very much intended). He's just in a hungry mood all the time hehe!! But I'm also very happy it is a full fic! To think I would ever draft an entire story for one silly eel... I'm very glad the idea was received well. I remember I wrote the very first and earliest sk!Jade concept while I was washing my clothes at the coin laundry LOL. I thought to myself, this idea is so morbid; I wonder if anyone would ever like it as much as I do. ^^;;; and now one year later here we are and my beloved murder eel has his fic!!! It's very exciting!

I'm so happy you like everything about DRU!!! It's a plot I hold close to my heart because it's so dark and yet so fun to write. I'm glad you can enjoy the multiple perspectives. I think it's a fun balance between the horrors Reader endures on her side while Riddle is so lawful and logical on his end. The kidnapping scene with Jade was one of my favorites to write, as was the Pop Music Club meet-up!!! Although any scene involving Jade being an absolute terror is a joy to write. Any time he appears in a scene it's a guarantee that the dread and tension will increase tenfold. He has such a sinister effect despite wearing a friendly face all the time. T_T and the dream sequences!!!! Omg I love writing the dreams in DRU! They're so fun, and I hope you can have fun deciphering what they mean hehehe. >:)

Thank you for loving the runner-ups you listed as well!! Android Jade is another favorite flavor of Jade. I love him when he's clinical and cold and detached towards everyone else but Reader. <3 and ceo!Azul my beloved!!!!! He makes me feel so infuriated! >:( but then that's the feeling I hoped he would evoke, so it's only natural to feel like I want to squish him (but also I want to sit under his desk and [redacted] LOL orz the grip he has on me is too strong; to be able to annoy me and fill me with shameless lust all in one... tako, you're the worst/best). AND 11:11 ROOK!!!! Oooooo he's horrible. Captive Azul is also so beloved. I'm gently holding him in my palms. T^T

WAAAA OMG THANK YOUUUU!!! It's so funny to me that my Octavinelle characterizations can be loved because when I first started writing them (for Sea Glass) I had no idea what I was doing and I worried that they would be ooc. But now I have written them so often that they're permanently imprinted in my mind. It's nearly second nature now... ;;;;;

"Like watching a movie" is such high praise for my writing omg!!!!ヾ⁠(˶⁠ ⁠’⁠Ｏ⁠’˶⁠ ⁠)⁠ﾉﾞ‎thank you so so so so much!!!! I'm very pleased it has that feeling! I hope the sceneries and characters can seem tangible when I describe them. It's cliché, but I hope they come to life on the page teehee. <3 I am always so honored when you draw masterpieces (yes, they are masterpieces!!! Even the doodles you have made of the beloved sk eel!!!) based on my works. T_T I save all of the fanart I have received in a folder and I often look back at it because it brings me such joy!!!!! >w< so thank you for your skillful hands!!!! orz orz orz I am forever grateful to behold your lovely art. <3

Fellow Jade enjoyer!!!!!! I am the world's most insane Jade Leech enjoyer (self-granted delusion) and TMDG is just proof of how much brain rot Jade gives me. Thank you for looking forward to it! I'm so excited to post it!!! It's going to be a three-course meal plus more wrapped into one fic. >:) but omg thank you for eating the meals I cook each time!!! Chef Meraki is forever at your service!!! (`･ω･´)ゞ I will serve FEASTS and BANQUETS worth of yummy meals for everyone to enjoy. The seafood specials are especially delicious hehehe. I recommend them!

Aaaaaa thank you once more for sending such a sweet message!!! I am also always so ready and willing to ramble about writing and yandere and characters and three slimy mafia fish and everything else in between!!! Sending you much love!!!! xoxoxo have the loveliest day, Kheyy!!!! (∗˃̶ ᵕ ˂̶∗)♡

[derfisch]

okay, I said I was gonna do it! below the cut:

a brief review of every anime I watched this season (no battle shounens, guaranteed)

there are 11 that I watched! wow!

to start with, I watched some less recent anime:

Fruits Basket (2019)

I can see why this one is a classic. if the original is anything like the new one (I haven't watched that either), this is held together by excellent, deep character writing and a fantastic sense of place that never falters. the main character, whose archetype of "ditzy genki girl" would usually be written as very one-dimensional and fluffy, has loads of interesting facets of her personality, and goes through plenty of character growth along with everyone else around her, all without feeling the need to make her less girly or compromising her agency in any way.

for negatives, the humor fell flat more often than not, and the melodrama felt a little heavy handed, especially toward the end when they need you to know The Stakes Are High. I'm also unsure how I feel about how it decided to portray some really incesty relationships? but as a CCS enjoyer it's not like I can complain too much there, lol

despite those flaws though, I would still absolutely recommend it to anyone looking for a good drama. I found it pretty good for sleepytime watching too, if you need something like that.

My Roommate Is A Cat

while I did like it a lot, there's not a whole lot to say about it. I like all the characters, even though they don't go too deep. it's fun, it's cute, and it's funny. there's a cat. I like the bits where we get to see from the cat's point of view, and they totally misunderstand the situation. it's not the prettiest anime out there, but I'd still give it a watch if you have the time for a short one

Love Stage!!

absolutely gutted by this one. as a BL anime from about a decade ago, there's a genre-required sexual assault scene. I cannot recommend it to anyone on that basis alone. this is not a triggering subject matter for me, and I was made deeply uncomfortable by it

which really, really sucks, because outside of that I'm super into its characters and its scenario. the tonal whiplash between the sexy seme raping the innocent uke and a few episodes later when he's genuinely regretful of it, and they actually have to work through their feelings over what happened, I appreciated it so much. and even outside of that, the relationship between the two is really interesting. the character writing is super strong, and the conclusion is satisfying and somehow feels earned

if you're absolutely sure you can handle the uncomfortable stuff, maybe give it a watch. otherwise, there's much better gay media out there for you that doesn't subject you to uncomfortable shit like that

Oshi no Ko

I literally cannot tell you anything about this other than you have to watch this. even if you don't give a shit about idols. I'm serious. watch the entire first episode (and I mean the whole thing! don't quit halfway through), and you'll probably know if it's for you or not. but it is gorgeous, and the storytelling and characters are phenomenal. there's a reason no one will shut up about it. I am chomping at the bit for season 2, and the only reason I'm not going to read the manga is the anime is so beautiful

A Herbivorous Dragon of 5,000 Years Gets Unfairly Villainized

[kenny lauderdale voice] is chinese animation anime?

I remember my roommate watching the first episode of this with me around when Dragon Goes House Hunting was airing, to compare the two, and he ultimately passed on it. with that no longer fresh in my mind though, I went back and gave it another shot, and I'm glad I did

it's really short, the usual 12 episodes of a season being made up of 15-minute episodes. the characters don't have a lot of room to breathe, and the story doesn't have enough time to build on its premise for the climax to feel justified. but despite that, I loved the characters themselves, and their interactions with each other. The humor was pretty good, and I found the main duo super endearing. It's not much of a time commitment, so you don't have much to lose by giving this one a shot. oh, and watch Dragon Goes House Hunting too when you're done

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years Of Virginity Can Make You A Wizard?!

[kenny lauderdale voice again] is live action drama anime?

I saw this recommended a lot when I went looking into popular BL drama. maybe I expect too much from my media, but I wasn't really into this. the main character has barely any personality beyond "anxious wreck," and his love interest comes across as a bit creepy, but otherwise not very interesting. In fact, it takes a flashback for us to really have any hint of why the love interest likes the main character at all. this is also peak "why do japanese dramas have such ridiculous acting"

I couldn't really bring myself to finish it. I made it about 2/3 through, seeing if it got better, but I just really couldn't go on any longer

What Did You Eat Yesterday?

another drama! this one was much, much better. it starts with the couple already together, and focuses more on how they cohabitate and work on their relationship. the characters in this feel very real, and their scenarios never feel particularly contrived or unnatural. also, it features characters who are properly middle aged, which is pretty rare for Japanese media in general, let alone BL

this was the hardest one to watch though, because it's only available on Netflix and it's blocked in my country! I couldn't find a good site to pirate it either, so I had to use a VPN. I hope it becomes more easily available some day

now, into the newer stuff:

My Happy Marriage

what interested me about this is it billed itself as a "historical drama," which is surprisingly rare for a culture that seems to have no problem commodifying its history. unfortunately, that's only half true. the setting seems to have one foot in meiji-era japan, and the other in a poorly explained fantasy setting with nonsensical magic powers

I could put up with that, except I really can't stand the characters either. the main character is Tradwife Prime, who's incapable of mustering an ounce of agency except to simp for the man she was forced to marry by her very abusive parents. said husband is nice, but bland as they come. she has a sister who is a huge jerk seemingly just to mess with her.

it has two things going for it: there is some catharsis in seeing husband guy treat this poor woman right, and also it's drawn and animated really well.

maybe it gets better after the first half, but I dropped it about halfway through. if you are the straightest, most misogynistic man, who only sees value in media that reinforces your pitiful worldview, and think all women should exist to be subservient to their husbands, maybe watch it. except even they probably shouldn't, or they'll risk feeling inferior to the most boring man on the planet. but maybe watch it if you like pretty pictures, and don't have a functional brain? or just watch it in a language you don't understand, I guess. make up your own story! you'll probably do better than the writers

Yohane the Parahelion

I watched this because, I kinda liked love live when I watched it a while back, and I thought putting the girls in a fantasy setting sounded neat. also, there's a cute dog, and I wanted to see more of the cute dog

unfortunately, the story is too busy expositing about the characters themselves and their nothing personalities to tell us about the setting, which feels underutilized. every few episodes, there's a hint at some spooky magic stuff happening, which is then stopped after a couple minutes to go back to light drama and fluff

and I started out liking the dog, who kinda feels like a big sister character, but that's literally her entire personality, and I got bored with her after a while, and the show itself just as quickly. it feels like a story yohane (the one in the love live world) wrote herself while she was bored, without consulting an editor or anything. can't recommend unless you really like looking at the cute dog

Sweet Reincarnation

this is a bad anime. I can't believe I watched it all the way through

the premise sounds fun. a patissier gets sent to the shadow realm and then gets isekai'd into life as a prince in generic fantasy world (do all these isekais take place on the same world, you think?), and is totally unhinged about turning the world into a sugar utopia under his command

what are the implications of this? the consequences? we'll never find out, because instead he just does really boring political drama shit. also he's like really good at diplomacy and negotiation for some reason? I don't think candy makers normally have to do that

it's kind of a shame because there are brief moments where the anime remembers what its stupid premise is, and those are genuinely fun. dude bankrupts the treasury buying fucking apples or whatever. uses his OP isekai power to invent irrigation and scare the shit out of everyone in the surrounding area. super fun stuff. but it lasts like 3 minutes every episode, and then it goes back to boring shit

also more arranged marriage, and this time it's with 10 year olds! no commentary whatsoever on how fucked up that is either, main character who is mentally about 30 years old at this point, totally stoked about his actual 10 year old wife to be. real normal shit

you already know it's shit though, right? you don't watch isekais to see a good anime anymore, right? you'll watch your garbage anime and you'll enjoy it anyway, right? okay

The Masterful Cat is Depressed Again Today

I love this anime. it follows the lead that Campfire Cooking in Another World with My Absurd Skill took of living life with a gruff, much more capable giant animal domestic partner. but instead of a cool magic wolf, yukichi is the masterful cat in question, and he fills the role of what I can only describe as the perfect house husband, with some sass and kitty antics included. he's also a big soft boy, which naturally gets bonus points from me

the series is pure slice of life. I haven't read the manga, but you can feel where the chapters begin and end within episodes, which makes them feel like short vignettes, rather than full stories. that's all this anime needs to convey its characters though! everyone feels well fleshed out, and their interesting personalities shine through

I do have 2 content warnings though: one, the main character ends up drinking alcohol a lot. you might know this is a trigger for me in certain scenarios, and this did make me uncomfortable. I was able to manage because the scenes in question are so short and tend to avoid portraying it as much more than an annoyance for yukichi, but if you're more sensitive to it than me, you're gonna have a rough time. second, probably less serious, but in an episode, the main character gains a bit of weight (which you would never guess by looking at her, but you'll have to trust the writers lol) and they make a big deal about her having to diet and exercise. might be kind of uncomfortable for some people who are used to having their weight pathologized, so feel free to skip that bit.

aside from those two complaints though, I really recommend this anime! it's super fun and really sweet

I ended up really watching a lot this season! I hope next season has some good ones too

[opalesense]

nsfw headcanons

zhongli & gn!reader [NSFW]

1.1k words • ~9 min. read

summary: some headcanons of what zhongli is like in bed!

warnings: liyue arc spoilers, breeding

notes: you might be able to tell i got some zhongli favoritism by how long this is lol

zhongli, in his sophisticated and traditional nature, will be extremely respectful of you and will only have sex at times and places where you want to. he believes your body is a temple and he does not want to consistently impurify it with selfish human desires. very rarely will he force himself onto you (that's not to say that he wouldn't though, more on that later!)

he is always turned on when you're in his vicinity. one look at you will send his thoughts racing. he definitely won't show it outwardly all the time, but he is always ready when you are.

no sharing. at all, ever. you are his for as long as time exists. anyone who dares to even shoot a suggestive glance at you will meet zhongli's wrath, or at the very least, his cold, intimidating stare. he gets very upset if you even attempt to mention the possibility of polygamy in bed. he is very possessive.

there are two sides to zhongli in bed. he is either gently making love with you, relishing in the slow paced pleasure and heat of the moment, or he is purely animalistic, mindlessly destroying you and following instinct alone, paying no mind to what you want.

his gentler side in bed is simply a projection of his true love for you. he will endlessly praise you with words, loving the way your face lights up with each compliment and getting turned on when he knows he is pleasuring you. he will constantly be muttering that he loves you, cherishes you, and will never let you go. reminding you that he loves you while he's indulging in such a dirty act with you is VERY important to him.

slow, careful, and calculated moves. he will observe each twitch, moan, and facial expression you make to determine his next moves. if you're visibly uncomfortable, he will immediately try something else. if you're in extreme pleasure, he will make sure to remember what he is doing so he can do it again and again.

zhongli's incredible memory encapsulates your likes and dislikes in and out of the bedroom. he uses this to his advantage to overload you with pleasure every time. the more times you make love with him, the more he can use his knowledge to make each time an enjoyable one.

if you can remember the things he likes too, he will be overjoyed! he doesn't expect you to focus on pleasuring him though. in fact, each time you have sex is an opportunity for him to serve you.

he LOVES releasing himself inside of you. more on that later, but know that he doesn't like seeing his fluids splayed across your body or seeing you covered in tears or saliva. again, your body is a temple. to him, it must stay as orderly and pure as possible.

zhongli is not into hurting you or leaving any drastic marks on you for a similar reason. he doesn't mind leaving a hickie here and there, but that's probably the most he would do without feeling ashamed in himself, even if you asked for more.

he doesn't lean strongly towards dom or sub... that is, until you see his animalistic side. by then, he is undoubtedly a dom.

he can usually control his temper very easily. but if he's having a terrible day or something awakens the god of war, the unforgiving dragon inside of him, he will lose any ties to his normal human persona. he will immediately revert to his past self, the part of him that is engulfed in the thought of having domination over everything he lays a finger on – this includes you.

before being fully consumed by this darkness, he will make sure to get your consent for the things he will do to you. he wants to use that last spark of the kind, caring, and gentle zhongli that you're used to in order to ask for your permission. it is his utmost priority as soon as he can feel the darkness swallowing him.

but if he doesn't get to you in time or does not get your permission at all, you will need to restrict him somehow. otherwise, he will do everything in his power to get his hands on you no matter what. the urge is uncontrollable. it's unfortunate that you have to put up with this, but thankfully this rarely happens anyway that you don't mind dealing with a tied up, cranky, and extremely horny zhongli until the phase passes naturally.

admittedly, the first time you saw this side, you were terrified!

even though he will retain his human form, he will pounce on you with nothing on his mind but to conquer and make you fully his. that being said, he goes crazy at the thought of pinninf you down and breeding you, filling you up multiple times to guarantee that you will get pregnant, even if you can’t have children. it must be done multiple times. he is not convinced that one round is enough.

but during this phase, one round is pretty short! since he's focusing on reaching his goal to breed you quickly, he will make sure to get the job done as efficiently as possible.

he will use you mindlessly and treat you like a doll, a simple object made to pleasure him and him alone. he will not hear your cries, screams, or begging to stop if he is engulfed in rage. if you are not filled to the brim with his seed, he does not care about what you want or how you feel in the moment. even if you manage to get fucked unconscious somehow, he will continue fulfilling his pleasure as if nothing happened.

he might use another hole if filling one up wasn't enough for him.

if any cum spills out, he will make sure you pick it back up and swallow it to make sure all of him is inside you. a single drop wasted will make him angrier.

once the phase wears off and he's practically emptied everything he's got into you, he will apologize profusely and go overboard with aftercare. he probably won't have sex with you for quite some time, drowning in guilt even if you enjoyed it.

he will smother you in expensive gifts, luxuries, food, and acts of kindness for the next week or so. he cannot carry the guilt of doing such dirty things to you without compensation.

if you're the type to get easily bored or tired of the same gentleness he treats you with and want to ask him to purposely go through this phase of rage, he will politely decline. there is no convincing him that he should treat you so poorly, even if you tell him it brings you pleasure. he truly hates that side of him and hates taking it out on you even more. it doesn't remind him of very good memories.

but if you really nag enough all day, maybe enough to get him angry or annoyed with you? you might get what you wish for without him even realizing...

[cookiesnt]

Korekiyo, Kazuichi and Mondo with a feminine brother who get’s beaten for it.

tw: violence

No one should ever have to go through this.

Korekiyo:

He completely understood your enjoyment of what you wore.

He wore lipstick himself, after all.

He was very supportive.

“Y/n, I found this dress I think you would look nice in...”

With how feminine he was himself, he knew about the harassment you could face.

Due to this, he was quite protective...

...So you can imagine how furious he was when this happened.

It was a normal, Tuesday afternoon. He was reading a book from the nearby library and sipping a cup of tea while he waited for you to come home. It wasn’t unusual for you to be late coming home, so he wasn’t very concerned. After a few minutes, he heard the door open.

“Ah, Y/n. You’re ho-” He dropped his cup. It shattered on the floor. You were standing in the doorway, your makeup a mess, your dress covered in dirt, and you.. were covered in bruises and cuts. “Y-Y/N!” He jumped from the couch and ran to your side, his eyes filled with concern. He looked at your face, his eyes widening in horror as he saw your black eye. “What on earth happened?! Who did this?!” You couldn’t answer. You threw your arms around him and sobbed into his chest, clinging to his uniform. He reciprocated the hug, holding you protectively. “I am right here. You are safe now...” He sounded calm, but it was taking every ounce of self-control he had not to scream in anger. “Here, allow me to patch you up...” He picked you up and carried you into the bathroom, setting you on the counter and taking out a first aid kit. “Hold still...” He gently began to treat your wounds, his heart breaking as he saw all of them. “What kind of disgusting human could do this...?”

“...Some kids from school... T-They called me s-some awful t-things...” He looked up at you, sighing.

“Do not concern yourself with this matter anymore. I will handle it.” You shook your head.

“Kiyo, I can-”

“Y/n, as your older brother and your caregiver, I cannot allow that. I agreed to take care of and protect you.” You wanted to argue, but decided it wasn’t worth it. “I’m going to call your principal and keep you home from school for awhile. This time will be dedicated to healing and comforting you.”

“Okay... Thank you.” He pulled you into another hug, stroking your hair softly.

“I will always protect you, no matter the cost...” Even though he sounded calm, he was looking into the mirror with a furious expression as he silently made a promise to himself...

They will never lay a finger on you ever again, my brother... I will guarantee it.

Kazuichi:

He didn’t really get it.

But he was your big brother, so he wanted to support you.

“Hey Y/n? Sonia said you might like this nail polish...”

He had a hard time showing it, but he really did care about and support you.

Even if the outside world doesn’t.

He was working in his workshop, fixing up a motorbike. He had some music playing in the background and was humming quietly. He was deep in thought, but was torn away when he heard a scream.

“K-KAZUICHI!” He was confused, but then it registered that it was your scream. He stood up and made his way back into the house.

“What’s up, Y/n-” He choked on his words as he looked at you. Your torn shirt, bruised face and legs, ruined makeup... “Y/n!” He ran to your side and looked over you, concerned. “What happened?!”

“T-They came from n-nowhere and just... just...” Your legs were shaking and you collapsed, only for Kaz to catch you. “I-It hurts! It hurts, Kaz!”

“I know, I know... Here, let’s getcha fixed, alright?” He supported you on the walk into his workshop, cradling you as he cleaned your wounds. “This is gonna sting a bit, but I promise it’s gonna help, okay?” You winced as the swab touched you. “Shh... It’s okay...” Once he finished, he went back to asking questions. “Can you tell me what happened? Who did this?”

“I-I didn’t know t-them... T-They just s-started calling me awful things and d-did this...” Kazuichi sighed, shaking his head.

“I’m... I’m gonna call Fuyuhiko. He probably knows someone who was in the area. Is that okay?” You nodded softly. “Alright. For now, order whatever you want for dinner and throw anything you want on. I’m keeping you home for a bit, okay?”

“Okay...”

Mondo:

He was surprisingly supportive, especially after he met Chihiro.

“Hey kid! Chi said you might like this...”

Since he was an infamous biker gang leader, he expected no one would hurt you.

Keyword: suspected.

Sadly, he was wrong...

He was making his way back home from school. His bike was in the shop, so he had to be on foot. It had been a pretty quiet walk so far, but he was still on alert. Crime rates had been up in the city, and he wanted to be safe.

“L-Let me go!” His heart stopped in his chest. He’d recognize that voice from a mile away. After all, it was you, his little brother. He took of in a sprint, completely disregarding jaywalking laws as he did. He eventually came to an alleyway and-

“WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON HERE?!” The group that was surrounding you looked up at Mondo, freezing. You looked up as well, giving him a full look at the injuries on your face. He was beyond furious. He grabbed the boy that looked like the leader and pinned him to the wall. “What the hell did you do to my little brother, you piece of sh*t?!” The boy was too terrified to get a response out.

“I-I uh... W-We-” Mondo had enough and punched him, breaking his nose instantly.

“You listen to me and listen f*cking well; You will never lay a finger on my brother or anyone else ever again, or I’ll end your pathetic lives with no hesitation. Got that?!” They nodded. “GET LOST!” The boys scurried like mice out of the alleyway and away from the two of you. Once they were gone, Mondo knelt in front of you, looking over your injuries. “Sh*t kid, what the hell happened?!”

“T-They followed me and kept calling me... t-things I’d rather not repeat... I told them to f-f*ck off but... they got m-mad...” He sighed and pulled you into a hug.

“Let’s just get you home... Here, lemme carry you...” He picked you up gently, holding you like a baby. To him, you looked so small and fragile in that moment. He made a promise to himself that this would never, ever happen again... At least, not without bloodshed.

[local-ground-apple]

Hello! IDK if this has been asked, but... How would the dormitory leaders react when they and s/o got the main roles for the annual theater play? And it's romance with the kissing at the end of the play~ ❤

I can totally see Vil being so into this! Thank you for your request~~! ❤

🥀 for sure Cater will be in the first row filming the whole play and zooming on kissing scene and then sending it to literally everyone (rip Cater Diamond, you will be remembered)

🥀 Riddle simply turns into red, flustered ball on emotions. Which you think it’s kind of cute. It will take a lot of time to convince him to actually agree and prepare for the role, 

🥀 at first he’s completely against whole idea. Sure, he is flattered and proud of himself (and you) for getting a role in the annual theater play, but deep down Riddle is insecure. He’s not sure whether he can portray the character right,

🥀 oh and the mere thought of kissing you in front of whole school makes his already rosy cheeks even redder than usual,

🥀 so you two end up practising mostly the kiss, cause each time your lips linger a bit closer to his, Riddle’s cheeks flush rosy color and his whole form melts,

🥀 which you think it’s cute, but you both know that absolutely cannot happen on the stage

🥀 and yes, Cater coos how cute you both are and offers some acting tips,

🦁 the annual theater play, huh? Certainly not interested, would muttered Leona while turning on his back to continue his nap peacefully,

,,Y’know, it would be a real shame if Malleus got the role of the prince” “yhm, I don’t care” “there’s a kissing scene, y’know?” “WHAT, THIS IS MY ROLE”

🦁 absolutely doesn’t mind kissing scene, instead Leona insists on practicing it few times. To make sure it’s perfect, as he would playfully say, 

,,We can’t practice this one scene all over again. Did you even learn the script?” “We have a script?”

🦁 you and Ruggie has to literally drag his lazy ass to rehearsals, since Leona wouldn’t even bother attending them,

🦁 surprisingly, he’s amazing on the stage (when he actually puts some effort in his acting). Needless to say, he did steal the show,

🦁 how Leona managed to learn his parts and actually steal the whole show is still a mystery to you and Ruggie

🦁  little did you know, that he actually practiced in secret, without telling anyone as if he wanted to keep up his “cool aura”

🐙 wishes you all best, but he politely refuses to take part in the play. Even your pleading, puppy eyes aren’t sufficient to convince him. However, dating Azul taught you one thing – everything is possible if you know person’s deepest secrets

🐙 so you blackmailed him with slight help from Jade (Floyd won’t ever shut up about this),

🐙Azul has never ever in his octopus life felt that stunned. The way his eyes widen when you presented the conditions, was almost hilarious to you,

🐙 you enjoyed this way too much,

🐙probably one of the few who actually learned the whole script and practiced it every evening before going to bed. Once Azul sees that there’s no turning back, he will do everything to thoroughly prepare himself and steal the show,

🐙 insists on you two practicing after lessons and you happily oblige,

🐙 Azul denied the role at first, because he was simply insecure and anxious. The mere thought of kissing you in front of whole school where the eyes of every student will be all over you two, is simply paralyzing to him. Besides, he has a certain image of callous and meticulous businessman to maintain,

🐙 he will definitely get nervous few minutes before the start of the play. Azul’s heart will be racing, while he would be sweating and heavily breathing, but the moment your hands gently cup his face and your sweet words leave your lips, his body slowly begins to relax, 

,,Don’t be so anxious, we had practiced it. It’s gonna be alright” “Y/N, I think we should practice this kissing scene one more time”

🦂 when you two got main roles in the annual school musical, you both were on cloud nine. Literally. Jamil had to listen to you both fangirling over it for almost a whole night, 

🦂 Kalim is extremely, extremely, extremely excited and he’s beaming with happiness. He defintely thinks you’re both are made for the roles and he will put his heart into acting, singing and dancing, 

🦂 well, the preparations may be a tad bit sloppy, yet you both don’t complain. The evenings spent on singing nice tunes, learning lyrics together, practicing choreographies and finally acting out few scenes is very enjoyable to Kalim (and of course you), 

🦂 Kalim is rather giddy about kissing scene. Well, he certainly doesn’t mind it! No, no, he’s actually more than happy to kiss you in front of whole school. This man knows no shame, 

🦂 rehearsals are chaotic. Well, the rehearsals your duo does, at least. During practices with the rest of students and teacher, suddenly you two are dead serious and focused on getting the notes and script right, 

🦂 the duality sometimes scares Jamil, 

💜 did someone say theatre play? Main roles? And on top of it kissing scene? And the male lead is not some sexy vilian? Vil is ceratinly in,

💜 he knows exactly what he’s doing and what you’re supposed to do. After all, his acting skills are simply splendid. Vil is more than eager to help you out, 

💜 you two practice the script a LOT, acting out every single scene multiple times, just so you can ace it. He is rather strict as a partner/acting teacher, but you are aware that Vil just wants to make sure everything will be perfect and you will present yourself as best as you can,

💜 you find Vil’s advices extremely helpful and after a while you begin feel confident in your newly acquired skills, 

💜he is not nervous before kissing scene, bah, he brushes it off as if it was something normal or regular in his life. Meanwhile, you are freaking out and screaming internally, 

💜 which makes Vil amused and he may tease you a LOT, insisting to practice the kissing scene. His lips will playfully brush against yours for a brief second, before he pulls away with a smirk, while you can only pout and die from feels, 

🖤 panic mode 10000000000. Idia is absolutely terrified when you tell him the “good news”,

🖤 give him literally 5 minutes and he will have his suitcase packed, booked flight to “Nope-land” and would be on his merry way. Idia is screaming internally as that’s something definitely out of his comfort zone,

🖤 he absolutely hates speaking before a big public, yet alone acting and the mere thought of having a kissing scene with you is more than enough to give him a heart attack. He certainly doesn’t want to disappoint you, since you’re so excited to take part in school play with him, yet it’s a matter of time before Idia politely refuses,

🖤 you don’t push him though – you do respect his boundaries,

🖤 however, when Idia proposes to either clone or create a hologram of himself for the play, you are just speechless and it’s your turn to politely refuse,

🖤 as much as Idia hates the mere thought of you kissing someone else, he won’t change his mind (he may suggest Vil to play the other main character tho)

🐲 Malleus is stunned and speechless the moment you tell him that you both got the main roles,

🐲 he’s even more stunned and speechless when you shyly mutter that it will involve the kissing scene,

🐲 Malleus has never really taken part in theatre play, yet alone displayed his affection (or more like affection of his character) for you in front of such crowd. Obviously, he hesitates, but your excited tone of voice and eyes filled with pure happiness were enough to convince him,

🐲 Malleus takes his role rather seriously and he prepares himself thoroughly – he knows the whole script by heart and could describe every detail of random scene in the middle of the night,

🐲 you are definitely more nervous than Malleus before kissing scene. He seems as stoic and collected as always, while you may be screaming internally,

,,I think we should practice this scene more” “I have kissed you more than 10 times already, darling. I may start thinking that this is just a mere excuse for you to kiss me, huh?” “That’s…that’s…THAT’S certainly not true Malleus!”

🐲 guaranteed that Lilia will be in the first row with a camera, while Sebek will be taking ton of pictures (and yeah, Silver is asleep per usual). “You’re doing great, sweetie” along with “Waka-sama hype man”  will be a perfect addition to the theatre play,

[my-head-is-an-animal]

Beneath The Skin

Relationship: Remus Lupin x OFC

Summary: This is the story of one young woman's struggle with pain, inner pain, mental pain, physical pain, psychological pain, every kind of pain you can imagine. Remus Lupin understands pain, he wants her to understand that it doesn't mean you can't feel anything else, he wants her to understand that pain has absolutely nothing on love.  

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING, heavy mentions of self-harm and suicidal tendencies, pain, angst, loss of parents, trust issues. 18+ Minors DNI

Chapter 5 - Hogsmeade

‘This is troubling news.’ Dumbledore nodded, Remus had gone to see him the morning before his father would arrive. ‘Her attempts to end her life cannot be ignored.’

‘No, but I think the approach you have been taking in the past needs to be reassessed.’ Remus cut in, trying to get his ideas across to the Headmaster before he suggested anything. ‘It’s no secret to say she is suffering constant physical and emotional pain, something she still has yet to give me any real information about other than that relating to my father-‘

‘Your father?’

‘It’s a long story and one I will keep to myself until Rosaline gives her consent to share it with anyone else.’ Remus put that part of the conversation to bed. ‘I want to try something a bit different with her now. It’s clear that she doesn’t have any real friends, extraordinary talent on the Quidditch pitch has earned her the respect of most of her house, Oliver Wood seems perfectly capable of getting along with her in class, but that seems to be all her relationships extend to. I asked her to come to me if she feels like things are getting a bit much and she agreed.’ Remus leaned forward a little. ‘Albus, I don’t think she was trying to end her life that night.’

‘You don’t?’

‘I think she was conflicted, I think in the past when she has felt that pain, the only thing she could think to do was to put an end to it, but I saw the cuts, they weren’t deep enough and I believe she had doubts.’ Remus suddenly felt his heart catching in his throat, this was a young woman’s life they were talking about and suddenly the stakes seemed that much higher. ‘I gave her one of my old records to listen to, she seemed to enjoy it.’

‘It seems you’re becoming close, Remus.’

‘I wouldn’t say that, but by all accounts, it seems I am the only person she is willing to speak more than a few words to.’ Remus rubbed his temples and thought for a moment. ‘She doesn’t go to Hogsmeade with the other students or spend much time with anyone outside of class.’

‘No, I’m afraid she was not given permission to go to Hogsmeade in third year,’ Dumbledore confirmed. ‘And she often finds solitude more enjoyable than conversation.’

‘Wait, wait, you’re telling me she’s never left the castle on weekends?’

‘That’s correct.’

‘Well no wonder she feels so trapped!’ Remus half laughed. ‘Dumbledore, you can’t expect her to feel any kind of release if all she does is sit in the castle and think about how much pain she’s in.’

‘What are you suggesting? I cannot give her permission to leave and given her current state, we have no guarantees that she will not be a danger to herself if left alone.’

Remus thought quickly and suddenly the words just came pouring out. ‘I’ll take her.’ He said and Dumbledore hardly looked surprised. ‘I’ll take her to Hogsmeade myself, my father will be coming tomorrow, we can meet at the Three Broomsticks.’ The Headmaster didn’t seem so convinced by this plan. ‘It will at least give her something to look forward to and Merlin knows she needs that now more than ever.’

It took a long time for Dumbledore to agree, but he did eventually and Remus was ecstatic to tell Rosaline the good news. He would need to write to his father immediately to tell him the change in plan, but he was excited nonetheless.

Remus could tell she was nervous, he could tell from how slowly she walked through the snow and how heavily she breathed. He had done his best to keep her calm and that morning on Christmas Eve, he’d taken her to get fresh bandages for her arms and asked if she’d been listening to the record. To his great delight, she’d played it all through the night and knew all the words to the songs. It wasn’t quite the beaming smile he’d once seen her have, but Rosaline smiled when she talked about music and Remus had seen it as an opportunity to help her connect to something positive.

Rosaline had taken his advice and worn a dark grey coat, it almost looked new, but she had claimed to have owned it for nearly two years. The statement put an ache in his heart. She took her time buttoning it up just before they descended the stairs of the castle.

Remus had asked her about what she would be doing the following day and Rosaline immediately went quiet. He contemplated inviting her to spend some time with him, but thought it best to wait until the conversation with his father was finished and see what kind of headspace she was in.

They approached the carriage that would take them to Hogsmeade, it was the only one and was only there because Dumbledore had made special arrangements for them. Rosaline walked past the door that Remus held open for her and went straight to the Thestrals pulling the carriage. Remus watched the large creature lower it’s head in greeting and Rosaline grazed her hand over it’s long neck a few times. It was a new side of the young woman that Remus was curious about, she didn’t seem to show much consideration for others, preferring to stay away from people, but this looked like something different, this was real kindness, the kind that proves all hope was not lost.

Rosaline eventually smiled at the Thestrals and wandered back towards the door Remus was still holding, she mumbled a thanks and stepped inside the carriage.

‘How are you feeling?’ Remus asked, they’d been moving for a few minutes and Rosaline had said nothing.

‘I don’t know.’ She shook her head, hoping that would put an end to his inquiries.

‘Well, I can tell you that my father is very nervous,’ he tried to make her smile. ‘I think he’s worried about disappointing you.’ There was that frown again. ‘My father is a very caring and kind man, he saved you eleven years ago and I know that not a single day goes by where he wouldn’t do it all over again, maybe more so once he gets to know you and sees what a wonderful woman you have become.’

Her green eyes snapped up to his and stared a hole into him. It seemed to be her way of checking that someone was telling the truth and Remus hoped she could see his honesty.

‘Have you thought about some of the questions you’d like to ask him?’ Remus tried a new approach, they still had time before they reached the village and he was determined to use the time to prepare Rosaline for a meeting that may well have changed her entire life.

She nodded and went to speak, but what came out was the last thing he expected. ‘I want you to be there… I’m scared.’ Her eyes were filled to the brim with tears, but she refused to let them go.

‘It’s only natural,’ Remus moved to sit beside her in hopes that it would provide some form of comfort. ‘But just remember that no matter how scared you are now, or how worried any of the answers make you, things will get easier once you know. You can start to find closure on what happened, you can start to move forward and you will have another person who will be happy for you to confide things in.’ That made her frown in questioning. ‘I told you I am a very good secret keeper.’ Remus winked playfully and he was glad to see it made her smile a little. ‘That’s more like it, it’ll be nice to see that smile of yours from time to time.’

They sat quietly for the rest of the ride to Hogsmeade, Rosaline had begun shivering again and Remus automatically put his arm around her to keep her warm for a while. Even though she wasn’t speaking much, Remus was happier that Rosaline was more settled than before, her breathing had evened out and she now seemed more eager to meet with his father.

Lyall wouldn’t be arriving for another hour as Remus had planned and so the opportunity was too perfect not to take Rosaline for a quick tour of the village she’d only ever heard about. He showed her all the main attractions such as where the Three Broomsticks was, Honeydukes, which she was astounded and a little overwhelmed by, Zonko’s which she was a little disappointed in the lack of imagination of some of its wares, the post office, Tomes and Scrolls, Spintwitches Sporting Needs among other standard shops in the village. The one she seemed a little more interested in was Dervish and Banges which was mostly a repair shop for complex magical instruments such as sneakoscopes.

The last place Remus decided to go was Dominic Maestro’s Music Shop. He led Rosaline inside where music was filling the entirety of the shop and made her immediately smile when she saw the large collection of records in the middle of the shop. The walls were lined with all sorts of instruments and on the lower shelves were record players, each more unique than the last.

Rosaline couldn’t stop her smile when she looked through the collections of records, Remus could she appreciated the artwork and one stood out to her as being particularly beautiful. It was completely black with a triangle in the middle and light passing through one side and reflecting as a rainbow on the other. She seemed a little hypnotised by the simplicity of it.

‘Remus!’ A voice called Remus’s name through the small crowd of people doing last minute Christmas shopping. ‘Remus Lupin, it is you!’ The man himself came forward, Dominic Maestro. Remus always had a soft spot for the now aging man, he loved music so intensely and it only made Remus’s Hogsmeade trips that much more enjoyable when he was a student. ‘How are you?’ Dominic shook his hand and Remus felt the familiar callouses of a man who worked with his hands. His pale blue eyes were a little more bloodshot than he remembered from school and his dark hair was now greying in places, but his bright and cheerful smile confirmed it was the same man.

‘I’m very well Dominic,’ Remus smiled back with just as much joy. ‘How’s business?’

‘Booming as usual.’ Dominic laughed. ‘I can’t remember the last time I saw your face, must have been just before you graduated?’

‘Sounds about right.’ Remus honestly couldn’t remember.

‘Well, what brings you back now? Looking for something new, I’ve just gotten some new material in that you’ll love.’ Dominic was about to guide Remus to his back office as he so often had when he was in school.

‘Actually, I’m teaching up at the school now,’ Remus stopped him. ‘Dark Arts. I’m here with the young woman over there currently absorbed in what looks to be a Pink Floyd album.’ Dominic frowned curiously. ‘Her name is Rosaline Carter and she’s an extraordinary witch, hugely talented on the Quidditch pitch as a chaser for Gryffindor and very much one to keep an eye on for the future.’

‘Really? And why exactly is a teacher accompanying her? Troublemaker like yourself?’ Dominic laughed, but Remus only half smiled.

‘Not a troublemaker, just troubled.’ Remus said gravely and Dominic immediately looked back at the brown haired witch with the curious green eyes. ‘I’ve recently discovered her enjoyment of music, something I’m sure she would appreciate a little guidance and expansion on. It seems to be a good distraction for her, Dominic.’

‘Music usually is.’ Dominic nodded and thought for a while. ‘Troubled you say? Maybe she would like to look at the new stuff as well. Why don’t you bring her to the back office? I’m sure I’ve got a few things to get her started. What’s she listening to at the moment?’

‘At the moment, she’s taken a liking to my Nick Cave albums and she seemed to enjoy the last Smiths album I played her.’ Remus tried to remember any other music he played when he’d seen her smile.

‘Nick Cave and The Smiths, eh? I’m sure I can put together a few things she might like.’ Dominic smiled and gave Remus a pat on the shoulder before heading into his back room.

Remus carefully manoeuvred himself over to where Rosaline was sliding the album back into the box where it came from.

‘Anything caught your eye, Rosaline?’ Remus smiled at her. ‘Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd.’ He pretended to just notice the album she was holding. ‘Great album and it only gets better with age.’ Remus gently took it from her to look through the track list on the back and smiled idly to himself. ‘I used to come here all the time when I was at Hogwarts, became very good friends with Dominic Maestro and to this day he’s always ready to recommend things he thinks I’ll like. He enjoys meeting new people interested in music. What do you say to making a new friend?’ Remus glanced up at Rosaline who was just staring up at him, unsure of what to say? He just chuckled, tucking the Pink Floyd album under his arm and guiding her towards Dominic’s familiar back room.

He had a huge gramophone that took up most of his office and as usual, broken instruments that he was repairing were scattered all around the room as well as a few albums Remus recognised and more that he didn’t. The man himself was bent over a small red record box which had gold edges and the Gryffindor crest printed on the front.

‘Dominic,’ Remus caught his attention. ‘I’d like you to meet Miss Rosaline Carter, Rosaline, this is Mr Dominic Maestro, the owner of this fine establishment.’

‘A pleasure to meet you Rosaline,’ Dominic held out his hand for her to shake and Rosaline tentatively took it. ‘Remus tells me you’ve been listening to Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds?’ Rosaline nodded and Dominic gestured for her to take a seat while he finished finding the last couple of albums he was searching for. ‘Which album are you enjoying at the moment?’

‘From Her to Eternity.’ Rosaline said, curiously watching the musician dart around his office.

‘Oh brilliant! Fantastic album, have you heard the latest one, Henry’s Dream?’ He asked, becoming progressively more excited which only seemed to spike Rosaline’s curiosity. Remus just leaned against a desk in the corner so that Rosaline had the space to discover Dominic on her own.

‘Yeah… yeah, I think so.’ Rosaline nodded.

‘And what did you think?’ Dominic encouraged. Remus watched him slip in the Pixies Bossanova, it seemed like a wild card, but then he’d always trusted Dominic’s judgement on music so he didn’t question it.

‘Erm…’ Rosaline struggled to find the words. ‘It was good… I liked it… a lot.’

‘A woman of few words, I like that.’ Dominic laughed and it made Rosaline light up pink and smile. ‘Now, Remus you’ve got the last one?’ Remus handed over the Pink Floyd album and Dominic put it in with the collection before bringing it over to the small table where Rosaline was sitting. ‘Here we are, we’ve got Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, of course, this album, The Firstborn Is Dead, came out in 1985 and is a great follow up to From Her To Eternity, I’d definitely recommend listening to this straight after the first album. This one is Tom Waits, Swordfishtrombones released in 1983 and is considered the first in his trilogy, it’s an excellent change of pace from what he’s released before this.’ Dominic gave a brief description of ten albums in total, but the box looked like it would hold around twenty records.

Remus missed listening to him talk about music, he was an incredibly passionate man and with any luck, Rosaline would become infected with some of the same passion. Time was moving on and they still needed to head to the Three Broomsticks before his father arrived.

‘And that’s it,’ Dominic finished and much to Remus’s delight, Rosaline was smiling. ‘Like I said, there’s a few wild cards in there and if you don’t like them, feel free to bring them back and we can swap them out for something else, but in the meantime, Merry Christmas and I hope you will accept this small gift from me.’

Rosaline’s face dropped a little. ‘Wait, you… you’re giving these to me?’

‘Of course!’ Dominic chuckled. ‘I want to hear the woman of few words give a few of them to music, if you could spare the time to come back?’

She seemed at such a loss. ‘But… why?’

Dominic didn’t laugh, but he did smile gently at Rosaline. He seemed to understand her a little better from just a simple question. ‘Because, from what I’ve heard you are going to be something extraordinary, and every extraordinary life deserves an epic soundtrack, one that tells you everything you need to know about that person, makes you feel those moments that were precious to them and makes you understand them in a whole new way. Music fills us with so much joy and sadness and love and anger and passion and every other feeling you can imagine, it has power that rivals magic. I want to give you the gift of that power, maybe you could use it to find out a little more about yourself?’

Remus could see that she was on the brink of tears, but unlike any other time she had cried, these were tears of happiness and he was more than happy to let her cry them for a while. Rosaline was excited by the gift from Dominic and by the time they left the shop, she was already eager to go back to the castle to listen to the new music he’d given her.

‘He’s so nice.’ She said as they walked towards the Three Broomsticks, Remus had insisted on carrying the record holder as it was a little icy and he didn’t want her to slip.

‘Dominic’s always been like that, he’d talk for hours about whatever new band he’d discovered that week, but he loves introducing people to new music more than anything in the world.’ Remus smiled, remembering all the times he’d gone specifically to Dominic’s shop to cheer himself up.

They finally arrived at the Three Broomsticks and suddenly Rosaline’s courage was beginning to fail her, she slowed down and began breathing a little heavier again. Remus guided her to a booth out of the way of the chattering people and made sure she was settled before heading to the bar to get her a drink.

‘Who’s that you got with you, Remus?’ Rosmerta asked curiously as she poured the two butterbeers.

‘That’s Rosaline Carter, she’s one of my seventh years.’

‘A student? I’ve not seen her before.’

‘Actually, this is her first time in Hogsmeade, she’s enjoyed it so far.’ Remus could feel his own tone eluding to something unsaid.

‘Wait a minute, did you say Carter?’ Rosmerta’s interest was suddenly piqued. Remus nodded. ‘She’s not Maggie’s daughter, is she?’ Rosmerta lowered head and mouthed the last question. ‘The spy?’

‘The very same.’ Remus confirmed, Rosmerta knew everything, she obviously would know about Margaret Carter and her involvement in the war, Remus was pretty sure Dumbledore had said something about certain people needing to know due to the possibility of arising circumstances.

‘I heard a lot of things about that woman, very brave. I didn’t realise her daughter survived the attack.’

‘The attack?’ Remus suddenly questioned.

‘Yeah, didn’t you know? Her mother died about ten or so years ago, but no one knows who killed her, they say her daughter was the only witness and no one heard what happened to her after that. I suppose Dumbledore must have found her and done what he always does with secrets. Keep them.’

Remus was a little relieved that Rosmerta had little more information than anyone else, but slightly annoyed that she was so willing to blurt it out to anyone who asked.

Rosaline was fidgeting with the sleeves of her cream jumper when he came back and he knew why.

‘Still nervous?’ He asked, trying to keep his mood up for her sake. Rosaline nodded. ‘That’s alright, my father shouldn’t be too much longer and you still have time to decide whether you want me to stay with you-‘

‘Don’t leave me.’ She suddenly said. ‘Please.’

‘Alright.’ Remus said calmly. ‘Alright I won’t leave. But you can stop any time you like if you feel as though it’s too much. I promise, I won’t let you go through this alone.’

They waited only a few minutes before the door to the pub opened and Lyall Lupin came wandering through it. It was clear he was just as nervous as Rosaline, because he took more time than necessary brushing the fresh snowfall from his old brown flat cap and brown travelling cloak, Remus was, however, glad to see his father opted for a navy suit jacket instead of the brown one with the red pocket.

‘I’ll be one moment.’ Remus told Rosaline and went to greet his father.

‘Oh, Remus, sorry I’m late.’ He said, carefully removing his cloak. ‘Snow was a little heavier than I expected.’

‘That’s okay, we’ve not been waiting long.’ Remus took his father’s cloak caught Rosmerta’s eye, she immediately went to pour another butterbeer. ‘She’s nervous, but she’s had a good morning so I’m afraid this will be as good as it gets.’

‘I understand.’ Lyall nodded and they arrived back at the booth.

‘Rosaline,’ Remus gently got her attention, she stood up immediately, not quite knowing what to do with herself. ‘This is my father Lyall Lupin, father, this is Rosaline Carter.’

‘Pleased to meet you, Miss Carter.’

‘Rosaline,’ she said suddenly, her cheeks turning slightly pink. ‘Just Rosaline is fine.’ They shook hands and Remus could already feel the discomfort.

He decided to sit on the same side as Rosaline so that she might feel comforted in some way, but he was already seeing the rigidity forming in her body again. Rosmerta came over to place down a third butterbeer for Lyall and Remus knew she couldn’t just leave them alone without saying anything.

‘There we are Mr Lupin,’ she said in her cheery, welcoming tone. ‘Wonderful son you have here and just as handsome as his father.’

‘Oh, Rosmerta, he gets his looks from his mother, I’m afraid.’ Lyall was nothing if not a polite conversationalist. Remus just rolled his eyes and glanced at Rosaline who, to his surprise, was enjoying the spectacle.

A few more embarrassing exchanges on Remus’s looks and Rosmerta wandered away to serve other customers, Lyall sipped his beer and smiled.

‘She’s right, you know Remus, you have grown into a fine man, your mother would be proud.’ He said fondly. ‘You know, he used to be a scrawny boy,’ he told Rosaline, she was somehow intrigued to listen to the story. ‘Always tall mind you, shy and quiet, but I always told his mother, once he came out of his shell, he’d be fighting off women left, right and centre.’

Rosaline half laughed and though it mortified Remus that his father thought it appropriate to speak in this way to one of his students, he didn’t say anything to stop it, knowing how rare it was for Rosaline to smile.

‘They always say that men grow up to look like their fathers and women grow up to look like their mothers,’ Lyall carried on. ‘I’d say from the evidence presented, one of those is definitely true.’ Rosaline heart dropped, Remus could see it on her face and braced himself for the hard part of the conversation. ‘You look so like your mother, younger obviously, but so like her.’

‘Did…’ Rosaline started, unsure of the question. ‘Did you know her well?’

‘Not well.’ Lyall shook his head remembering Margaret. ‘But then again, during the war, as my son will tell you, you never really knew anyone well, just well enough to do your job and make it home safely.’ Lyall sighed. ‘I knew that she was brave to do what she did, that she was well liked by her friends and people she met took an instant like to her… I knew that she loved you with all her heart… I suppose those were the only things that seemed to matter at the time.’

Rosaline opened her mouth to ask another question, but once again her courage failed her and she closed it again, thinking on the precious few memories she probably had of her mother.

‘Perhaps,’ Remus tried to help. ‘Father, you should start with how you came to meet Margaret?’

‘Well, yes, that seems like a good idea.’ Lyall cleared his throat and thought about where to start. ‘Your mother and I met at an Order meeting of all places, well, to be clear, I was heading into one and she was leaving the safehouse. No one was supposed to know that she was there and Dumbledore asked me to tell no one. She and another Order member were our spies in the Death Eater camp… I don’t know what you know of your mother, but she-‘

‘She was a Death Eater for years, I know.’ Rosaline interrupted. ‘She was a Slytherin and a very powerful dark witch.’

‘She was.’ Lyall shifted uncomfortably. ‘But as we know, not all Slytherins are bad, cunning and ambitious as I recall, not evil and bad.’ The tension was easily felt and they both seemed to look to Remus to release it.

‘Rosaline, you had some questions about the night my father found you?’ Remus tried to encourage. The sooner they covered the difficult subjects, the easier everything might have been to handle for Rosaline.

‘I should say that I may not know as much as you hope I do, Rosaline.’ Lyall interrupted.

Remus pressed him to continue and his father told them a detailed account of the night he’d written to Remus asking him to come home and see him. He missed his son and since the end of the war everyone was making amends. The other thing that was happening was traitors and possible spies were being rooted out of hiding and either killed or tortured by the remaining Death Eaters.

The only thing Lyall had heard was the screaming of a young child and by the time he found Rosaline in the middle of a field, it was too late. The attackers were long gone and the only thing they left behind was a screaming child in the cold arms of her mother. It potentially solved one mystery for Remus, Rosaline may have enjoyed the cold because it reminded her of the last time she ever saw her mother.

Lyall described seven-year-old Rosaline as scratching at her skin as if something was crawling beneath it, any movement seemed to pain her and Lyall’s arrival only further scared her as she couldn’t be sure if he was friend or foe. He’d eventually been able to calm her enough to pry her from the arms of her mother and carry her home. She’d fallen asleep in his arms and he immediately sent and letter to Dumbledore who arrived only an hour later with Kingsley Shacklebolt.

They’d taken Rosaline and she never saw Lyall or her mother again.

Rosaline was still for a few moments before needing to get some air. Remus stood up and let her walk out of the pub on her own for a moment. He sat back down, wondering if he should have followed her out, but deciding it was best to leave her to her solitude for a while.

‘Remus, I am so sorry.’ Lyall was close to tears. ‘I didn’t know what else to do, Dumbledore never told me what happened to her after he came and took her away. I never asked and I should have done. I’m so sorry.’

‘No, it’s fine.’ Remus tried to reassure his father. ‘You did what anyone would have done and that’s all anybody ever asked of you. You weren’t supposed to be a part of the war, you were supposed to stay away so that I knew you were safe. Rosaline was not your responsibility.’

‘No,’ he sighed, ‘but it seems she is yours now.’

‘It seems so, yes.’ Remus nodded. ‘What do you think happened?’

Lyall pursed his lips for a moment, he’d never spoken aloud his theories about the death of Margaret Carter, but when his son asked him at such a vital moment, he felt it was time to confess.

‘I think she was tortured.’ He said, simply. ‘I think she was chased into the middle of a field and she was tortured to death. As for her daughter… I can only imagine.’ The first tear was the most heart breaking to see fall. ‘What kind of person would do that?’

‘That is something I think Rosaline had hoped to find out in speaking to you.’ Remus confessed. ‘Though I think at least meeting the man who saved her has done some good.’

‘I do hope so.’ Lyall smiled sympathetically. ‘I hope you can help her Remus, her mother did a lot of good during the war and Rosaline was probably exposed to more than her fair share of horror. She was just a child, she deserved better.’

Remus nodded in agreement and decided to see if Rosaline was ready to head back up to the castle, he didn’t think his father had any more useful information for her at present and entertaining the idea may have done more harm than good.

He walked out into the light snowfall and looked around to see the street emptying. Rosaline wasn’t anywhere nearby, he walked a little down the street towards the castle, still unable to see her. When he wandered the other way towards the Shrieking Shack, he saw the small frame of Rosaline sitting on a bench, shaking, sobbing and shivering all at once.

Remus automatically sat beside her and placed his hand gently on her shoulder, once again, he found himself holding her close to his much warmer body, crying heavily as he stroked his fingers through her soft hair. He couldn’t imagine what it was she was going through, but something about what his father had told them warranted this reaction and he wasn’t about to abandon her in her hour of need.

‘Do you want to go back to the castle?’ He asked, aware that if they sat much longer, they were risking their health, not that he thought Rosaline would care, but one of them needed to. She nodded and her stuttered breathing was all he heard.

Remus carefully guided her into one of the carriages and made sure she was okay so that he could go back to the pub to collect their things and say goodbye to his father.

‘Is she alright?’ Lyall asked as soon as Remus came back, rubbing his cold hands together for warmth.

‘She just needs to rest for a while.’ Remus said, being deliberately vague. ‘I’m taking her back to the castle so that she can take the time to think on what you’ve told her.’

‘I see.’ Lyall nodded. ‘It’s for the best I think.’

‘For the time being yes.’ Remus picked up the record box and Rosaline’s coat, slipping into his own travelling cloak. ‘Thank you for coming, are you going to Cornwall tonight?’

‘Yes.’ Lyall stood up, placing his cap back on and preparing his cloak. ‘Will you be joining us for Christmas dinner?’

‘Possibly, I want to make sure Rosaline is alright before I make any decisions.’

‘You’re a good man, Remus. Your mother would have been so proud.’

Remus looked at his father as they stepped out into the cold winter’s evening, he smiled and embraced Lyall, again thanking him for coming. He promised he would try and visit his father soon, but made no promises, before heading into the carriage where Rosaline was simply staring into space, letting her tears run freely down her face, once again with no emotion and silently.

Rosaline didn’t say anything for the whole carriage ride back to the castle, Remus was worried that she was about to retreat back into her shell again and all progress will have been lost. She had eventually stopped crying and instead just stared into space across the other side of the carriage.

Remus was about to ask if she was okay when Rosaline suddenly spoke.

‘Do you really have to fight off women?’ She asked and when Remus looked at her, he saw what could only be described as a playful glint in her red, puffy eyes.

Remus somehow found himself laughing hard at her question. ‘Not nearly as many as my father would have you believe.’ Remus still smiled. Hers was a little sad, but he felt like he was finally getting a glimpse into the real Rosaline Carter. ‘In fact, I don’t know the last time anyone took a second glance at me.’

‘There are some students who like you a bit too much.’ Her voice was still cracking and stuttering and it was the only way Remus knew she was still upset.

‘Well, I don’t think that really counts.’ He wondered why she was suddenly so interested in him instead of what his father had told her only half an hour ago. ‘I take it you enjoyed my father’s company?’

She thought for a moment before nodding slowly.

‘He’s a very cheerful man, always kind and always looking on the bright side of life.’

‘Like you.’

Remus bobbed his head from side to side. ‘I’d like to think I’m a positive person at least.’

Rosaline was quiet again for a long time, Remus had the impression that she was thinking very hard on something.

‘I don’t think I want to play Quidditch anymore.’ She finally spoke as the carriage came to a stop.

‘Really?’ Remus was surprised to hear her saying it.

‘Maybe.’ She nodded. They hopped out of the carriage, Remus still insisted on carrying her record box for her. ‘I have to think about some things… I have questions… but I don’t know if I should ask you…. but I want to… actually I don’t know what I want.’

Remus could tell that she wasn’t used to being so overwhelmed and she wasn’t quite sure how to let out all this new energy she had.

‘Okay, okay,’ he put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down somewhat. ‘Alright, we’ll figure it out. We’ll figure something out over the holidays, I promise. Do you want to talk about what my father told you?’

Rosaline again was quiet, Remus was again watching her make a very important decision.

‘Do you think if you knew what happened, it would help?’ She stopped just inside the castle door, it was about to close behind them. Remus looked down at her questioning features, it was the first time he’d really looked at her whole face and not just her bright eyes. She was a lot prettier than Remus realised, she looked so much like her mother, the only difference was the freckles that sat on her cheeks beneath her eyes and across her nose, they made her look innocent, but the rest of her face was incredibly worn and the result was a beautiful womanly face that Remus was suddenly very taken by.

He felt his cheeks flush with heat, it was highly inappropriate to think of her in such a capacity and Remus felt very guilty. The only saving grace was that his cheeks were already red from the cold.

Remus sighed and thought about her question. ‘I suppose, it depends in what capacity you think I will be able to help.’ She looked momentarily disappointed and Remus worried that he’d read her question wrong. ‘Rosaline, I want to help you, I want you to be happy and have everything you deserve, but it would be selfish of me to say yes if I knew I couldn’t do anything to actually help you in your endeavours.’ She nodded and tore her gaze away from him, he felt like someone had suddenly torn his skin away and he couldn’t explain why. ‘Why don’t you take an hour to think on what you might need and then come back down for dinner with everyone else?’ The fear was back in her eyes and Remus suddenly couldn’t stand it. ‘I think it could be good for you to spend Christmas Eve with people.’

That seemed to be all he needed to say to get her to agree and suddenly a new dynamic to their relationship was revealed. She had started to put a trust in him that meant she was happy to take his suggestions and Remus knew he needed to be careful, his responsibility to her had just become more of a reality than he’d expected.

Remus walked her to the bottom of Gryffindor Tower before heading back to his office where Dumbledore had been waiting for him.

‘I presume you’re here to talk about Rosaline.’ Remus sighed, Dumbledore said nothing as Remus began taking his cloak off and warming up again after his trip back through the snow.

‘Remus, I would never pry into your relationship with Rosaline, but I wonder if she has not been completely honest with us.’ It was just like him to speak cryptically.

‘What do you mean?’ Remus began making tea and offered the headmaster a seat, which he took. Remus had always prided himself on being a kind host, despite being in conversations he’d rather not be in.

‘Has she told you anything about what happened to her that night?’

Remus took a breath and decided it was best to be honest. ‘She asked me if I thought it would help if I knew.’

‘What did you say?’

Remus handed Dumbledore a hot cup of tea and sat down with his own, still debating whether he wanted to tell the Headmaster anything.

‘I told her what I thought would benefit her the most,’ Remus stirred his tea, thinking hard. ‘I think she needs to work out how she wants to be helped and if confiding in me helps her towards that goal, then so be it, but I will not force her to say anything if she really doesn’t want to.’

Dumbledore took a moment to nod, but he seemed satisfied with the answer. They moved onto how Remus’s father was doing and the Christmas period in general, but Remus had the distinct impression that the Headmaster was just being polite having gotten the information he sought out.

[may8elle]

If you're in bad fandoms, why not just leave them?

I’m going to assume this is in response to my personal complaining about ft fandom and wrestling twitter- so in both of those cases:

I still derive enjoyment from the characters within the ft universe, MUCH less so from the series itself. I still get happiness, comfort and enjoyment from reading fanfics and seeing art and whatnot, but I want NOTHING to do with anyone still actively supporting the series as a whole. In the case of Wrestling- I fully and absolutely find weekly enjoyment in the wrestling shows. I love the story lines, the athleticism, the drama of it all- I love the fighting, the action, and the insane spots. 

What I don’t like is Active Fandom.

I’ve learned over the years how to like be a fan of something without being active with the fandom of something. Oftentimes, Fandoms create safe spaces for people who all enjoy the same thing to come together and enjoy that Thing in peace- but that literally cannot stay a safe place because there’s not a single human being alive who is okay with 100% of canon---- no matter what fandom, everyone has at least one detail they’d change, and that one detail will create loud, active fights. On the internet, bolstered by this sense of anonymity and this idea that you don’t have to take responsibility for what you say because it   “““doesn’t affect your “real” life”””, it’s guaranteed to create toxic mindsets within fandoms. Because a lot of times, in fandoms, there’s no safe space for illegitimate-but-personal (or even 100%-entirely-legitimate) criticism.

Don’t fucking bother with the fandom.  Not only will it mess up your mental state from that shit, but it can also make it seem like that behavior is normal and okay and it’s not.

If you derive enjoyment from something seen as “trash”, who fucking cares? If you’re making yourself happy and whatnot, not hurting anyone else and not actively supporting/spreading harmful values and ideals, then just go hog wild man. Find those one to five people who are also fans of said thing and talk to you about it without being assholes and stick with them. Fandom is at its best and healthiest when you have your little group.

Also my complaining was literally because I got a wrestling-related commission and instead of a “thank you”, I got a “AEW is shitty for These Nine Reasons That All Somehow Involve The Attitude Era and also Hulk Hogan should be Forgiven for These Eighteen Reasons”  Not necessarily a fandom issue- just a dumbass bigoted white man being a dumbass bigoted white man because that’s the idealism that was nurtured within the WWWF/WWF/WWE for basically its entire existence and they’re mad it’s finally changing to be a little less racist/sexist/anti-immigrant/etc. And they blame AEW for that change. lmao

[borisbubbles]

17. CZECH REPUBLIC

Benny Christo - “Kemama”

So first off, thank you for the nice commens. 😇The past few months haven’t been the happiest time for me, so thank you for your patience as I scraped my bearings together for another post! 😁

So I will now extend that same sympathy to Benny Christo, whom I think I damn fucking underrated. Let’s jump in~

ENTRY ANALYSIS

As one may expect i INSTANTLY liked “Kemama” because you know, it’s a fun, laid-back, tropical afro-breeze, completely different from anything else we would see in NFs and the year. EXACTLY the type of song I was hoping the Czech NF would deliver (and deliver they did, see NF Corner). This level of mild like swung into strong unironic like upon realizing that the title is a contraction of “Okay Mother” 😍 and the song deals with the subject of overcoming racially-tinged discrimination and rising above the hate. That just feels very poetic and apt? “Kemama” felt like the entry that had to overcome the highest odds in order to earn the respect it so fully deserves, and still hasn’t fully reached it.

.In our Western European bubble, comprised mostly of gays and left-liberal straights, we have a very grateful and universal acceptance of many different kinds of [lizard] people that make up Eurovision casts. Yet with “Kemama” we may have reached  an unusually grimy undercurrent of coded racism. 

Of course nothing I read was outrageously rancid, than Cod for that. The worst statement I read was a double-whammy of “EWW THIS ISN’T CARIBBEANVISION” and “WHY WOULD SOMEONE FROM *KENYA* WANT TO REP CZECHIA IN EUROVISION?”, and yes they first got the continent wrong and then *also* got the country wrong in the follow-up post and then they were torn limb from limb by a pack of aformentioned left-liberals. I’m sorry but i can’t not have any other response than laughter in the face of yet another fucking MORON faceplanting themselves with words like a... racist JK Rowling if you will?

Still, while I never read something outright vile about Benny doesn’t mean I found his deniers really annoying and they were! Think “Ew Solovey is ‘Too Aggressive’ it will NEVER DO WELL IN ESC”, a statement that isn’t coded nor racist (and yet extremely false and misguided), functioned as a similar idea by the same minds. A statement borne from the same breed of narrow-minded stubbornness which has caused elitist morons to be all “there is **SOMETHING** about “Kemama” i do *NOT* like and I cannot lay my finger on it... but I **DO NOT** like it at ALL. It won’t ever qualify because everyone will think the same way I do” -- Eurovision snobs, tiptoeing around racial coda in January 2020.

 They would also insist that Benny was “arrogant” because he was seemingly impervious to their (de)constructive criticism. Like, if you were a biracial butterfly living in a slavic country who had to deal with statements such as the above on a regular basis, you WOULD block out the noise. And if you heard them often enough you will start to block them out pre-emptively. DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW COPING MECHANISMS WORK?? (oh wait you’re white-privileged. Nevermind 🙄)

 So naturally, when Benny decided that he would revamp “Okay Mother” by adding in MORE African elements it only made me love him even more lol. 😍 Was it a bull-headed, contrarian and possibly really stupid decision? Yes, yes and absolutely yes. Was it worth it? Well he managed to incite even more meltdowns in a group of people I feel nothing but contempt for, so hell yeah? Eurovision was cancelled anyway so who cares how much ‘worse’ “Kemama” actually got. 

Okay, so we’ve arrived at the revamp.

Granted, it wasn’t the best ‘vamp, I’d be a fool to deny it. The new elements threw a wrench in the melodic balance of the song. Out went tropical laid-back fun, IN went that fucking guitar oh my god this is some Hotel FM piano levels of overbearing I swear. (nb: this still didn’t stop me from ironically stanning Hotel FM’s lame asses anyway 😍). However, it made the personal backstory that I loved and savoured take a backseat to the now inferior composition. 😭

Regardless, New Kemama was fundamentally the same song, and I fundamentally liked Old Kemama, so whatevs, it made no different to me. In the eyes of many Eurovision diehards we were experiencing WORST PRESHOW SEASON EVER (after three songs... lol) and nothing clinches this brainworm more than a revamp announcement. “OH MY GOD HE WILL RUIN IT! I CAN GUARANTEE YOU I *WON’T* LIKE IT”. Self-fulfilling prophecies, ya know? It certainly didn’t help when the official channel accidentally uploaded a vid with broken soundmixing (‘OMG HORRIBLE LAST IN THE SEMI!!!!’ calm the ever-loving HELL down) and took another FULL WEEK to upload the correct vid. The damage had already been done. Typing "SEE I TOLD YOU THE REVAMP WOULD BE SHITE HA HA HA” in the Kemama comment box really just is the ESC equivalent of reponding with “Actually, *all* lives matter :smug:” to a BLM support pamphlet, isn’t it?

NF CORNER

While not my favourite NF of the bunch, I found the Czech NF to be lowkey epic. Not epic enough to remember its name but regardless Czechvision or whatever marked the end of an era because it was also the last selection spearheaded by Jan Bors :o

I think I’ve made it clear enough in the past that I’m somewhat mixed on Bors Era Czechia - Lake Malawi were a toetapping good, Ickolas was a pockmarked, skin-crawling evil and the other three inhibit a purgatory somewhere between “moderately nice” and “moderate timewaste.”

Still, I have great respect for the man who orchestrated Czech’s comeback after scoring NINE POINTS TOTAL across three years with the mindset of “So what? Why says we can’t win?” so ofc I was all into the idea of the “EIGHT INDIE ANGELS, HAND-PICKED BY BORS HIMSELF” NF that would serve as his swan song.

Naturally things went down the drain the second Bors left, with one of the eight peacing and his successor cancelling the live broadcast (does anyone remember what exactly happened? I vaguely recall one was the cause of the other but lol it’s July can’t be bothered to factscheck (Factsczeck?) anymore, bitches.

Anyway, ON TO THE GOOD STUFF, and yes, there was plenty.

We All Poop - “ All the Blood (Positive Song Actually)”

Yes, as you can imagine I ofc IMMEDIATELY fell into like when I saw that chyron and invisioned the inevitability of the Czech Rep’s Rep immediately alienating every parent just based on their name alone <3 😍 w/e WAP quickly became that “Good but not great” song you find in every NF that everyone gushes over because it’s the whitest option available. Like, yes, “All the blood” is good, but musically it’s identical to Green Day and Twenty-One Pilots and god name ANY 90s-early00′s American Punk Rock band. For me the enjoyment came from the fact that WAP were openly crazy vegan fundamentalists and the VC clip actively condemns the use ANY animal protein by replacing the cattle and game with LITERAL HUMAN BEINGS. 😍 :fusedmarcintensifies: :kasiamosage:

Pam Rabbit - “Get up”

Ohhhh YES a glorious experimental Synth-Trap song only I could love and ofc I did. God what is there even to say; the provocative darkness of the verses combined with the swirling amorphousness of the chorus gives me LIFE. LUFF THIS SHIT <3333 Ftr, this was also the fave of Slovene Juror duo / synth angels / Boris faves ZALAGASPER, further proving their pathetic naysayers that they own all things music and the haters can suck a series of-

Barbora Mochowa - “White and Black Holes“

Lol, yes even with a “Get up” existing, there was a song I liked even more. Barbora proved a very competent Lana del Gay last year, but I was a YUGE fan of this year’s... Kate Bush-Björk blend of ethereal awesome. It is so soothingly beautiful and the rare example of a song that I find completely free of flaws. Were the competition not such a hard place, I’d be pissed she didnt win (at least she won the jury vote MASSIVE KUDOS to every alum on that) but w/e this selection had opions and I’m rather robbed of a “Kemama” than I am of a BRILLIANT IRREPLICABLE AETHERBALLAD. ~Danse balance sûr les white and black holes~

Elis Mraz & Cis T - “Wanna be like”

I *VERY* strongly felt that if the Czech Republic wanted to win ESC, they should have picked Elis and even now I STILL believe she could have won. That isn’t to say I gushed over “Wanna be like” because I find it kind of annoying lol. Yes, I LOVE an annoying female voice (:Tones&Icackle:) but Elis’s reaches a Camilla Cabello sort of place for me (good lord get Senorita OFF the fucking radio) and the Scat + White Guy Rapping middle-eight. 😬. However, the second I opened up the video clip for this paragraph and was immediately BLASTED by Elis murdering a ukelele and wearing a  “schoolgirl” outfit straight from a Japanese tentacle porn movie and OH MY GOD THE AGGRESSIVE TWERKING made me reconsider that hey, this min-sized Meghan Traynor actually kinda highkey owns, yo!  Yet, I’m not at all bothered we lost her in the Czech NF because we got UNO DOS QUATRO CINCO SEIS :fatmansplit: fill up the megameme slot instead, so...

Eurovision 2020 vs Eurovision 2021

BENNY RUINED HIS SONG AND NEVER WOULD HAVE QUALIFIED. jk I’m not a moron. Sure, “Kemama” wasn’t an easy sell because you know AFROBEAT in a contest where half of the people watching are fash (ie: all of Eastern Europe, who watch out of ~Nationalistic Sentiment~ 😬), but there are Kemama live renditions out there and he owns them SO hard lol. A few soundmixing issues really would not have stopped Benny from qualifying in that RIDICULOUSLY WEAKSAUCE SEMIFINAL are you fucking kidding me. He probably would’ve bombed in the Grand Final, but I mean it’s Czech and it’s not Ickolas so ofc it would have.

And Czech renewed him for 2021 regardless of the sceptics, woohoo! I think part of it was due the Czech not wanting to re-organize an ENTIRE NF from scratch without Jan Bors, but probably also because Benny owns live when he isn’t engaged in psychological trench warfare with actual human detritus <3 and also because the Czech fucking CARE about their artists and don’t drop them like a sack of rotten potatoes wtfshitprus.

Can’t wait for the moment when he qualifies and Efendi does not, etc, etc. 

FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTOR!

I’d say that the core around which the Ben Drama spun was pretty standard fare: niche fave beats out the concensus fave, meltdowns ensue, people convince themselves it was the WRONG decision because it wasn the result they wanted, try to disown the song and make a fool of themselves because the song slaps, sorry. Even the revamp drama felt more of less generic for me, because yawn fantards melting down over a revamp of a song they don’t even like what else is new.  

However, what I do take away that the revamp was ENTIRELY Benny’s idea which he told no one about (cue to JAN BORS having a social media meltdown like he’s Caesar at the Ides of March 💔) added MORE afrobeat just to troll his haters even more <3  God, I’d say it was bad from a musical perspective but this level of in-your-face defiance is fucking iconic and hilarious, sorry. This entire this year is so batshit bonkers that the concept of a someone potentially shooting themselves in the foot and “torpedo’ing” their qualification chances  (not rly, he would’ve Q’d anyway lol) JUST to take the moral high ground in a racially coded argument only HE took seriously may not even be the craziest concept in the year! (lol it definitely isn’t. Look at the pics I haven’t greyed out yet)

This and more yield Benny some well-earned Senheads! Yay!! 

Score: 3 Senhits out of 5.

[enormous-moose]

Let's Bash something other than Christians for a change shall we? You know just to mix it the fuck up! :D [Heavy Fenrir time]

I haven't had a good rant rant, don't get me wrong I've ranted, but not like how I used to since really getting more in touch with Tyr. So, tonight we're going to explore a discussion with Fenrir who has the habit of telling me to piss off whenever I am marinating over something that would sour the flavor.

What is souring me tonight? Well, I'm glad I asked myself. Here's the answer: Atheists. (What shocker not Christians?) No Fen, you heard that right, Atheists.

Mostly I'm talking about the kind who make it their mission to ignore someone who wants to have a proper discussion. I'm looking at those turd mongers who are only playing up the fact that they can disprove religion with their exposition of evidence.

I wrote earlier about the importance of distinguishing poetic evidence and scientific evidence. This needs to be a mainstream belief. You cannot disprove the author's symbolism based on scientific research! You cannot disprove "the yellow curtains mean happiness." I would love to see you disprove the analytical thought that goes into someone taking time and care to write out an understanding that brings magic and beauty into the world.

I'm sure these same people go around telling kids Fairies, Santa, and mother goose aren't real. -.- It just irks me so much to see them fighting on Twitter all because someone wanted to come in and say that all religions are bad. Anytime there is a decent discussion between two groups BAM! Someone comes in to be the spoiler and a fucking noid.

Fuck you Kevin (Male variant Karen) and your opinions!

My gods don't need to prove anything to you to show they exist! Someone as narrow-minded as yourself would be a waste of time and effort. Go sit in your corner of the world devoid of magic, wonder, meaning, and purpose. I am happy in my own section, communing with my gods, making myself a better person, and making damn well sure your opinions fall on deaf ears.

I feel sad for someone who looks at the world and thinks, "The world needs less magic." "I'm a festering douche who can't handle anyone receiving the slightest bit of enjoyment from religion."

I get you were hurt by religion, or you see it do terrible things, but fucking call out those specific groups! Don't group everyone together into one "bad apple" bunch.

Damn it I'm pissed!!

In swoops Fenrir with the save:

At times like this, you need to think about what would be the best thing to do to irritate them? Truly get even with those who would seek to separate you from your gods.

You're right!!! I'm going to ritual the fuck out of this situation. Tarot it up baby! Fenrir have some steak, and Lytir enjoy that gold leaf I left you. I don't need that kind of negativity because all they are trying to do is make me mad just to give themselves validation.

I get to see my Fiance again in 3 days and this is not going to spoil my week.

Some tainted boil writing a white supremacist book claiming to be a mentor for other norse pagans might ruin it, but that is in the future. Lytir wants me to stop worrying about the distant future. I need to stop thinking things are in my control. I can't predict the future any more than anyone else. Nothing I believe will happen is guaranteed to happen so I need to take a step back and focus on the soon-to-be present. I'll be miles away relaxing and enjoying decent fish and chips in no time. ^w^ Okay, deep breaths, and we are back to a sane state of mind.