#and i can't wait to see how they parallel and make connections

[kitkatwinchester]

EVERYTHING ABOUT THE ENDING OF THAT EPISODE OMG!!

Okay first of all, you can tell I'm not Scott OR Stiles, because it took me until seeing Rhys with the burn bandages in the hospital bed to realize that RHYS was the one the Nogitsune possessed, and it took me until she said "Eichen House", plus the accompanying visual, to establish that the Eichen House is on the same plot of land as the Oak Creek Internment Camp was. XD

ANYWAYS!

That's so freaking sad, and I feel so bad for Noshiko, because in a rage over what had happened to Rhys, she invoked something even worse, and she regretted it instantly, and now there's no coming back from that. And the fact that he said "coup de foudre" right before he died I CAN'T. :( :( :(

THAT SAID!

The f*cking looks and emotions and lines in the rest of those sequences I CANNOT.

Okay since we're here, starting with Scott, Kira, Ken, and Noshiko.

The fact that Kira looks over at Scott when her mom says it can mean "love at first sight" just SENT ME omg. And then on top of that, the way they keep exchanging looks, and she keeps looking at him for comfort, and he keeps nodding and encouraging her along, and then when he looks at her in just utter awe and amazement and pride when she manages to put the sword back together (also as an aside, Kira's bad*ssery and sass with the "I just found out your 900 years old. I don't think I'll ever trust you again." we love her. <3 <3). And then, after all of that, Noshiko, having been angry at Scott's presence and bitter at the idea of wolves to begin with, ends with looking at Scott with "And maybe seek out a wolf to help you." I CANNOT! I LOVE SCIRA SO FREAKING MUCH!! WHEN DO THEY KISS?! I WANT THEM TO KISS!!

And then, in all of this, Noshiko only further confirms that, as far as she's concerned, the only way to save Stiles is to kill him, and Scott is having NONE of that, and the LINES, dude.

"Sometimes, history does repeat itself, Scott." "Only if you don't learn." "But sometimes even then, fate conspires against you."

I mean, D*MN.

That said, I am obviously with Scott in not killing Stiles, and I fully support this plan, which is why I love, with every fiber of my being, the anger and determination in his face when he says "There's a way to save him. There has to be." Because that is his BEST FRIEND, his BROTHER (Noshiko even admitted that herself), and the last thing he will do is resort to killing him. Never in a million years.

And then we have our little group of four. First of all, that transition was EPIC, going from the sword lighting up to the chess board. I was all for that, OMG.

Secondly, that whole sequence was so good. Everyone working together to figure out Void Stiles' message, but Noah being the one to ultimately break it down and acknowledge that there's more to it than meets the eye, because he's RIGHT. The Nogitsune is a trickster, not a killer, and there HAS to be more to it than just wanting to trap them and kill them.

"All we have to do is come up with a new punch line."

I FREAKING LOVE YOU NOAH!! YES!! LET'S DO THIS!!! LET'S GO TRICK THE TRICKSTER AND FIGURE THIS THING OUT AND SAVE STILES!!!

And then that ENDING. The transitions. OMG that set-up was terrifying, but so f*cking beautiful and well-done.

With Noshiko narrating as it goes through her flashback of hiding the Nogitsune in the nemeton, and then the transition to Scott, Stiles, and Allison coming out of the tubs after their sacrifice, and all the little clips of the nemeton falling apart until it eventually released the Nogitsune, all leading up to Stiles in the loft, with his dad opening the door behind him.

"They let the demon out of its cage."

And Void Stiles turns, and Dylan's got that extra little darkness in his eyes that shows he's not the Stiles we know and love, and you get...

"Hi, dad."

OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO GOOD.

And now we immediately watch the next episode because I cannot possibly leave off on that.

Let's f*cking go, because I'm ready (but also so not ready) to see how all of this goes horribly wrong, since we're still two episodes away from the finale...

ANYWAYS!

(I feel like they're gonna find a way to somehow parallel this exact scene, but then alter it somehow because Scott and Kira will NOT repeat history and kill someone they care about, and I can see the integration of that being so cool and I'm honestly so excited. <3)

[golden-redhead]

I think there's a lot of signs pointing to Jayce actually doing the right thing ...or at least the right thing based on the information available to him at the time.

We can't know for a fact just how much Viktor was changed and what his healing was doing to the people who came to him in the long run, but considering all the hints dropped by the writers, the situation is much less clear than we think. Obviously, everyone's first instinct is to condemn Jayce and his actions, especially because Viktor is one of fan favourites, but looking at the teaser for the next Act and what little we know about what happened to Jayce, I think it might have been necessary evil.

I think this scene of Viktor temporarily 'possessing' Salo in order to talk with Jayce points to just how fucked this little community that Viktor created actually is. There's a reason why everyone's getting those 'it's a freaking cult' vibes.

This scene made me more uncomfortable than anything else this season and I think it's clear that it was meant to make feel that way. There's something so uncanny about Viktor's voice coming out of Salo's mouth, especially paired with that look on his face and how Viktor seems to be able to see and experience things through him in this moment.

And then there's also the issue of all these people dying a horrible drawn-out death as soon as Viktor himself 'dies'. Yes, they came to him on their own, they asked to be healed, but did they really know what they are getting into? Did they know this is what might happen?

Some of them were already dying, true, but Viktor healed all kinds of people, some of whom most likely had their whole lives ahead of them. He, knowingly or not, inevitably sped up this process. Not all of them were consummed by Shimmer-addiction or permanently disabled like Salo.

And then there's also the fact of all of them basically abandoning their previous lives to serve Viktor and his community. Which, okay, makes sense, there's certainly a parallel with the community that Ekko created for Zaunites to keep them safe from Piltover and Silco's plans. They made an informed choice, though, and I don't think the same can be said about Viktor's cult-like commute.

They seem peaceful, yes, but also devoid of personality and entirely dedicated to Viktor and his cause. Of course, it can be explained by gratitude towards him and desire to be kept safe in a calm and peaceful environment, but it's taken to such an extreme point that it definitely crosses the line into uncanny territory in my eyes. Their hivemind behaviour is very unsettling and even though Viktor seems to frame his recent actions as some kind of greater good, I don't think it's necessarily true.

We have yet to find out what Jayce saw and who's in the right and who's in the wrong. Either way, as usual when it comes to Arcane, it seems to me that more than ever, everyone's a victim of the circumstances and tragedy spares no one.

Considering that Viktor is set up to be 'reborn', I can't help but wonder what it means for his community and if they will also be brought to life by whatever connection they have with him. It would be a fascinating choice given how Viktor's arc has always been about autonomy and making your own choices.

Arcane, it's been a pleasure having my heart torn out of my chest by you. Can't wait for the last Act.

[wilcze-kudly]

Katara and the fear of loss (aka why she waited)

I think one aspect of Katara's storyline I don't see explored nearly enough the fact that she is terrified of losing others, especially those whom she cares for. This makes sense, especially looking to her background, how the death of her mother affected her and the fact that war has been a very large part of her life since she was a small child. Not to mention, she is actively a huge part of said war, along with her brother and friends, at the tender age of 14.

Now, some of you may ask "quill what the hell does Aang have to do with Katara's mother?"

Yes, on the surface, there isn't that much connecting Katara's dead, grown ass mother to Katara's alive 12 year old goofball bf but the parallels between Kya and Aang are planted even at the beginning of the show, in the first few episodes.

When Zuko and the Fire Nation attack the Southern Watertribe, they are looking for Aang, the last airbender, not dissimilar to the Southern Raiders looking for the last Southern waterbender. Furthermore, both Kya and Aang willingly give themselves up to the Fire Nation in order to protect the village, particularly Katara.

Throughout the show, we see Katara's interest and endearment towards Aang grow, and we see them create a genuine friendship. But I'd argue that Aang being the Avatar is, to some degree, a problem to their relationship. Aang's duty as the Avatar, and the risks and decisions he is faced with due to it, often create a rift between him and Katara.

Be it due to Aang's responsibilities leading him to make decisions she doesn't agree with, like in the Avatar State, where Aang feels the pressure to force the Avatar State due to the suffering of the soldiers he feels responsible for.

Or, more poignantly, in the Awakening, where Aang is once again compared to one of the parents Katara lost due to the war, though Hakoda's 'loss' was not due to death, but a need to fight. I think this also shows how much Katara values Aang not just as the Avatar, but as a person.

Katara: Aang. He just took his glider and disappeared. He has this ridiculous notion that he has to save the world alone, that it's all his responsibility. Hakoda : Maybe that's his way of being brave. Katara: It's not brave; it's selfish and stupid! We could be helping him, and I know the world needs him, but doesn't he know how much we need him, too? How can he just leave us behind? Hakoda : You're talking about me too, aren't you?

This is twice Aang has been directly paralleled to one of Katara's parents, whose repsective losses have clearly affected her greatly. This is also extremely poignant, since we've been explicitly told that Aang's love for his own lost family, the Air Nomads, was reborn into Katara. For Aang and Katara, the ways they deal with their losses influences how they pursue each other romantically.

Of course, there's also the ✨️ immediate threat of death and physical injury✨️. Aang and the rest of the Gaang, but particularly Aang is constantly being chased and tracked and endangered by the Fire Nation and he is meant to face the Firelord and defeat him. There are a lot of possibilities for something to go horrifically wrong here.

From Aang being half dead when Katara found him, then almost immediately getting kidnapped by the prince of the goddamn Fire Nation, to almost every villain of the week shenanigan, Katara already has good reason to worry for Aang.

But then the reach Ba Sing Se and things get even worse. Jet, Katara's only other canonically confirmed love interest dies, and Katara is helpless to do anything about it. This is already enough to make someone reconsider future romantic endeavours, but surely it can't get any worse, right?

Oh yeah, Aang FUCKING DIES

He gets blasted in the back with lighting, right as he enters the avatar state, right before Katara's eyes. The saviour of the world, but more importantly, her dear friend, brutally cut down before her very eyes. And Katara, a child, is the only person with even a sliver of hope of bringing him back.

So is it really any surprise that Katara, having experienced loss before multiple times over, and almosf having lost Aang himself, would be hesitant to enter a romantic relationship with someone being actively hunted by the greatest military in the world, someone obligated to take on the leader of said military?

Katara is afraid. She's afraid of opening her heart up to loving Aang and then losing him after that. This is the main reason why she hesitates in initiating her and Aang's relationship. Whenever Aang tries to brooch the subject, she brings up the war and the Firelord, but due to being a child, she struggles in communicating her exact feelings, which leaves Aang confused and of kilter. Katara often gives Aang romantic attention, and clearly feels rather possessive of him, however, she is not ready to enter a romantic relationship due to the threat of the war looming above their heads. But due to being 14, she doesn't know how to explain these feelings, which is what leads to the minor conflict between her and Aang. Because, you know, they're both children in a situation that children aren't built to deal with.

Katara : Aang, I don't know. Aang: Why don't you know? Katara : Because, we're in the middle of a war, and, we have other things to worry about. This isn't the right time.

It's important to note that Aang isn't exactly a bad person for wanting this relationship to be made tangible. He does push boundaries, and kissing Katara without her consent in the Ember Island episode is obviously a horrendous misstep (which he acknowledged), but I think you can at least understand his motives. He may soon die, after all, and he wants to love Katara and wants to express that love before he possibly loses his entire goddamn life. I think this can also be traced back to how Aang deals with the genocide of the Air Nomads and vs how Katara deals with the death of her mother.

Aang certainly blames himself for the death of the Air Nomads, although this guilt is unfounded. Perhaps part of him believes that if he'd just stayed with them, spent a little more time with Gyatso, he could've helped them. It wouldn't be a leap to imagine that Aang wanting to spend more time with those he loves, including Katara is a coping mechanism surrpunding that loss.

Now juxtapose this to Katara, who's entire encounter with Yon Rha is permeated by helplessness and fear, an 8 year old Katara being unable to do anything but run away and try to get help, sadly not in time for Kya to survive. So Katara trying to assert some control over her relationships, maintaining a certain distance to Aang while the war that robbed her of her mother is still in full swing isn't an improbable concept. She's trying to not feel that helplessness again.

(Katara probably blames herself for her mother's death too, but it has less to do with Katara's actions and more to fo with what Katara was; a waterbender, something she hasno bearing on)

This is why she initiates the kiss with Aang at the end of the show. Not because she feels the need to give in to his advances due to him being the hero of the world. Not because she's caving to his insistence or because she's pressured. But because the possibility of Aang getting fucking murked by glorified pyromancers are significantly lower than they were during the war.

This is not a 'taking one for the team bcs I feel like I have to due to Aang saving the world' type of smooch. This is a 'finally I feel safe to express my feelings' type of smooch.

To be completely honest, I don't like how Kataang was handled post day of black sun, I think it was an unnecessary addition of a redundant "will they, won't they?" aspect to the relationship. Teasing Zutara in the last few episodes was also just unnecessary, because it was obviously never a viable endgame relationship and it only served to give kid zutara shippers false hope. This is especially fucked up looking at how the same zutara fans were later mocked by the creators, which, no matter what you think if the ship, is a horrible thing to do to a bunch of teenage girls and I think has contributed to those teenage girls growing into bitter, aggressive adult zutara shippers.

But, as much as I dislike this storyline, it does make sense for Katara's character and is an interesting and touching 'silent arc' for her to have. We often see characters fall in love in the midst of a conflict, but we aren't always shown how that conflict would affect the way they look at their relationship, so I appreciate this storyline for what it was.

[bakvrue]

“Hey! Wait up!”

Bakugou looks over his shoulder and sees you waive your arm as you run out of the training building behind him.

He exhales, frosty breath making a grumpy cloud in front of him. He was the last to leave for a reason, or so he thought.

He doesn't stop walking but he slows his steps until you catch up to him. Your winter coat is haphazardly thrown on, and the laces of your boots aren't tied, rather they're tucked into your boots. Would probably be dangerous if you slipped on the ice.

“Hey, thanks for waiting.” Your breath comes out in short puffs. “I was worried about walking back in the dark alone and then I heard the locker room door close. Grabbed my stuff and ran out. I had a feeling it might have been you.”

“What were you doin’ there so late anyways? Why didn't you go back with everyone else?”

Katsuki can feel your eyes on him, almost as if you're surveying him, looking for something hidden in his features. He keeps his heart steady, praying that it's dark enough now you can't see the way his ears warm under your gaze.

You sigh, frustrated, defeated. “I haven't been able to get one of my new moves down right. What I'm trying to do is do a kick and then send the force of my quirk through my heel. But every way i try to kick either ends up with me on my ass or in a position that leaves me vulnerable right after or leaves me with my heel not in the right spot. I end up off-balance no matter what.”

You take your hat out of your bag, pull it over your eyes and let out a frustrated sound in annoyance. Almost like an angry cat.

Katsuki has watched you train, hell he's even gone up against you. He knows how strong you are. If this is something bothering you maybe it has to do with form? Or flexibility?

“Can you do a pistol squat?”

You stop walking, “A what?”

He turns and puts his bag on the sidewalk. “It's a really deep one legged squat.”

He balances on one leg, and then lowers himself slowly. His other leg extends in front of him and his body lowers so that his femur is parallel to the ground at knee length.

“Yeah I cannot do that,” you laugh. “I'm pretty sure my knees would explode.”

“Try it.”

“Do you want to see me fall in my ass? In the snow? Are you evil?”

He raises his eyebrows and you already know his response.

“Fine, let me try.” You put your bag down next to him and take a deep breath of the chilly night air.

One leg out, arms out for balance. Lower yourself, slowly, slowly… slow…

“WAA”

Your body falls backwards, your arms swinging around for anything to save you, panic setting in quickly.

Hands connect with yours just before your ass would have hit the cement.

You open your eyes, not even realizing that they squeezed shut, and you see Katsuki's hands holding yours.

Your heart thumps in your chest, your cheeks instantly hot enough to melt snow.

Katsuki's gaze follows yours, and he quickly looks away. But he doesn't let go.

“You good?” His cheeks and the tips of his ears flush.

“I— yeah, I'm good.”

He pulls you up, and both of you grab your bags.

“We should probably get back before Iida yells at us about curfew.”

“Right, let's go.”

[romchat]

The Time of Fever (Ep. 1-3) visual analysis: The Metamorphosis

Ho-tae: "I woke up to find myself transformed into a monstrous insect, lying in bed"...What is this? A story about a guy turning into a bug? Dong-hee: If I turned into a bug one day, would I still be Kim Dong-hee or just a bug?

From this piece of dialogue and the cinematography alone I know The Time of Fever is going to cause me a lot of pain. The only way to describe its style is palpable.

The moment our two main characters, Kim Dong-hee and Go Ho-tae, appear together, we can see the friction and unnamed longing between them.

Notice how often the first episode uses shots with three distinct compositional layers to provide depth and complexity to the relationships portrayed on screen:

In most of these shots, the composition places Dong-hee in the background with Ho-tae on another layer completely--they're distant and never quite aligned on what they want out of the relationship. Despite how these two characters were brought together by their mothers' friendship--I love how the second screenshot uses their bodies in the foreground to frame Dong-hee and Ho-tae--it's that very connection that also creates a wall between them. Although Ho-tae is excited about rekindling their friendship after moving away two years prior, Dong-hee doesn't want to betray his aunt's trust by admitting his romantic feelings for him.

And so he recedes into the background, alone and inscrutable.

The fact that Dong-hee also compares himself to Gregor from Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis hits like a sucker punch.

Like Gregor, Dong-hee lives a sort of transient and almost functionalist lifestyle. After being kicked out of his home by his abusive father, he focuses on his school work and trying to get by. He is isolated and his queer awakening only makes him feel more disoriented and misunderstood--he feels like Gregor in his insect form.

And yet we still see moments where he allows himself to yearn for something more and how Ho-tae begins to do the same.

(Side Note: I love love love the show's use of backlighting to highlight the lines of the actors' bodies. It's so simple but intimate and erotic as if the camera is acting like Dong-hee's artist-eye trying to memorize Ho-tae's muscular beauty.)

One of my favorite stylistic choices of The Time of Fever is how it uses close-ups to represent the characters' subjective POV and desire.

Like Dong-hee's sketches, these shots are the fragments of everyday life that are so small yet feel oh so significant while on the path towards self-discovery.

They're gloriously tactile, the shallow depth of field eliminating extraneous detail, allowing us to experience the heady excitement of accidentally grazing your crush's skin or looking into their eyes during a rainstorm.

I don't think I've seen desire that achingly displayed in a hot minute.

And so it makes sense that as Ho-tae begins to undergo his own metamorphosis and understand his own feelings, we see more and more visual parallelism in how their desire manifests.

(Side Note: The second screenshot above is such a gorgeous shot. That inky black negative space not only showcases Ho-tae's gaze at Dong-hee's lips but also his reaction to the realization that hits him. Great 2 for 1.)

I can't wait to see what visual storytelling the next three episodes bring.

[morningstarbee]

i love people talking about hannigram in the way they're the same but also opposites. Which obviously is a theme in the show but i mean like,, how they're both completely delusional and unhinged in completely different way, yet somehow exactly in the same way

Like how they're both jealous, but when Hannibal is being jealous, he hurts Will to get his attention (sending Budge after him, sending Dolarhyde after him), while when Will is being possessive of Hannibal he holds vicious grudges against the people who have the audacity to get close to what's "his" (Randall Tier, Bedelia, Dolarhyde, etc). Hannibal is jealous of Will giving other people attention, while Will is jealous of other people giving Hannibal attention.

They're both very private people who crave connection, but while Hannibal uses his charisma to surround himself with people he holds at arms length because none are worthy to come closer, Will's failure to mask his own personality drives people away from him. Hannibal charms people so well they don't even realize they know nothing about him. Will's brashness and prickly personality is used to drive people away before they get to know him and leave anyway because they don't like what they see.

They both spend nearly the entire show lying to themselves. Hannibal trying to convince himself that his own feelings for Will aren't real and/or can't affect him, while Will is struggling with accepting his own capacity and desire for violence. Or how much Hannibal could be reigned in by Will and how much freedom Will could find in Hannibal.

This is not even mentioning how Will's plan to get revenge on Hannibal in season 2 is almost a direct parallel to how Hannibal betrayed Will in season 1: the friendship as a ruse becoming genuine, entrapment/framing, faking a murder (abigail/freddie), ending with the other in jail. It's even interesting how Hannibal regrets going through with his betrayal after the fact, while Will regrets it before the plan is completed and tries to stop it.

(I also think it's interesting how Will's encephalitis made him see things that weren't there while also making subconscious connections, while Hannibal's feelings for Will in S2 made him see what he wanted to see, and even miss several red flags.)

There's also the whole hunter vs fisherman dichotomy they have between them, with Hannibal stalking and hunting his prey while Will tends to wait and let the prey come to him, luring them in with what they can't resist. Both of them require patience and the wisdom to know when to strike.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

another theme between spop and gravity falls that i want to point out is one of the characters being shelved for most of the series, and revealed to be alive towards the end. Micah and Ford.

only difference being:

1. Foreshadowing

from the first episode, we see that Stan has some sort of a secret and that he's working towards something.

and throughout the series, we get hints that indicate the existence of a twin brother, one episode even straight up SHOWS Ford (but viewers were led to believe it was Stan).

Micah, on the other hand? the only scene that could be proof of him being alive is during the fake reality in s3 finale.

Micah: Angie, Angella wait! I'm not-

people assume that Micah was trying to tell Angella that he's not dead, but we have no way of knowing for sure. it could have been anything.

so basically, there's no foreshadowing that Micah was alive and i'm pretty darn sure that the writers only wrote him in so that the viewers would forget about Catra killing Angella. Glimmer just needs one of her parents, it's not important which one.

but that's just before. what about after? do these characters have any importance after they are finally revealed to be alive?

2. Plot Relevance

even before the big reveal, Ford was a very important part of the plot. he was the mysterious author of the journals, he was the missing puzzle piece in Stan's life, his connection with Bill was clearly seen in the structure of Mystery Shack.

and after he emerges from the rift, he is even more relevant to the plot. especially because of his history with Bill and his knowledge about the supernatural. even though Stan is the one who defeats Bill in the end, it could not have been done without Ford.

not to mention, his relationship with Stan is essential to the plot. they are a direct parallel to Mabel and Dipper, and the entire series is about familial relationships.

the show just wouldn't be the same without Ford, because he was always one of the main characters, even before he was officially introduced as a character.

and how about Micah? he literally plays no role in the narrative after he is introduced.

one similarity between Ford and Micah is that they were both stranded in an unfamiliar place for years, with no connection to humanity.

but the difference is that while this is used for comedic purposes with Ford, it is also given enough emotional importance, especially when it came to his trust issues and his relationship with Stan.

whereas with Micah, it is solely used for comedic purposes and we never see how being forced to survive on a deserted deadly island has affected Micah's psyche or his relationship with people.

coming back to my point, Micah doesn't even seem all that bothered after learning that Angella is dead. he is shocked and sad for a moment, and then that is completely forgotten.

reconnecting with Glimmer? everything is settled with just one generic emotional speech and a hug.

reconnecting with his sister, Castaspella? barely touched upon.

like Ford, Micah had history with a master manipulator - Shadow Weaver. they could have expanded on this, shown us how Shadow Weaver's treatment of Micah had an impact on him.

but no, apart from him being all "you can't trust Shadow Weaver!" he provides no new insight. if anything, he just got in the way of Shadow Weaver trying to do something good for once.

other than that, he's just a silly goofy dad who wants to bond with his daughter. that's it. he has absolutely no relevance to the plot other than making a fool out of himself, and kind of forming a connection with Frosta.

we're supposed to believe that Micah was this powerful sorcerer and the king of Brightmoon, when even the writers don't give him the respect that he deserves.

newsflash: you can make a character funny and important to the plot. Ford had his fair share of comedic bits, but that didn't take away from his emotional moments and his role in the narrative.

[thefandomenchantress]

Chapter 2 Episode 15 Spoilers below!

Since Ace being the culprit has brought about so much pain to ace lovers, including me, I figured I'd make a list of all the good things that him being the culprit brings to us. Even though Ace will (probably) be executed next episode, that doesn't mean that nothing good came out of this, right?

-Ace's backstory may be revealed much sooner than expected! Before we would've had to wait for chapter 3 or chapter 4 and so on, but since Ace will be gone soon, almost everything not revealed next episode will get told to us in a bonus episode! (I think every dead person gets one of those? Idk if that's officially confirmed). I doubt Teruko's gonna find, like, Ace's diary in chapter three detailing his life story, so if we're ever getting the Taylor Lore™, it'll be in a bonus episode! Plus, a bonus episode would come out a lot faster than the whole of chapter three, so more Ace content sooner no matter what happens in it! And there's always the chance he gets picked for an FTE, since dead people are on the list of options.

-Ace canonically has neat, fancy handwriting. Begone rumors of Ace having illegible, traditionally boy-ish handwriting, he actually writes like a 19th century scholar and I find this very funny. More evidence for my 'Ace likes reading and writing and wanted to become a romance author' crack theory, since he also reenforced his particularness about vocabulary in chapter 2 part 2. (Our only remaining question: Does Ace actually have terrible spelling ('responsibel'), or did he just think Eden would?)

-Ace is very good at being sneaky and often overhears things he shouldn't. I can't wait for this to be used as a plot device in numerous fics ("XANDER YOU'LL NEVER GUESS THE SHIT I JUST HEARD DAVID SAY ABOUT YOU WHEN HE THOUGHT HE WAS ALONE").

-Ace will have to be included in the dead (formerly a) trio posts forevermore. Get ready for Xander-Min-Arei-Ace shenanigans.

-Now that the cast has been forced to acknowledge that being dumb and angry aren't Ace's only traits and that he's just as human as the rest of them, Ace is much less likely to be seen as just those two things by the average viewer. Ace's popularity, or at least the amount of dislike towards him, seems to have shifted since the last episode, and I'm happy more people are able to enjoy what his character has to offer now. He's a cool little guy. I've literally NEVER seen the Ace Markey tag this busy before.

-We got so many cool Ace CGs guys. SO MANY. Including one where he's hanging upside down on the swing set and looks weirdly cute for someone in the middle of a murder plan.

-Also new sprites! The DRDTdev gave Ace a redesign knowing full-well that it would only get a singular chapter of use, and I massively respect that. We already got some new sprites in part 2 of chapter 2 so far, and I'm guessing next episode he'll probably have at least one more breakdown sprite before he dies.

-For someone who no one in the cast liked, he's definitely going to leave an impact. He's finally made at least some of the cast realize what happens when they ignore the issues right in front of them. Ace shouts about how everyone hates him and sees him as an insufferable idiot? Eh, probably nothing, we don't have to worry about that. Sure, multiple people told him he's gonna die next in here, and he almost got murdered, but that won't amount to anything. What's he gonna do, murder someone--WAIT SHIT Ace step away from the Arei I repeat step away from the Arei-- (plus Teruko parallels). I'll probably go more in-depth about this sort of thing in a different post.

-WE NEVER GOT TO SEE WHAT'S UNDER HIS GLOVES. Kyoko and Mukuro both had hand-related secrets that connected them to the plot later on, does that mean Ace will have some sort of relevance to the mastermind or overall lore later on? Like a Mai tattoo situation? (Or maybe it's another thing that may be alluded to or discussed in the bonus episode)(Or left to interpretation but I hope not because I have so many theories).

If you have any more suggestions for other good Ace-related things the culprit reveal brought us, let me know and I can add them to the list! We need as many good things as we can think of right now...

[starship-buccaneer]

Okay, this might be a stretch, but hear me out: I think all of the future episode titles for this season of 9-1-1 (that we know so far) can be linked to love songs.

"Buck, Bothered and Bewildered" is obviously a reference to Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered famously sung by Ella Fitzgerald. It's a song about being surprised by love, lamenting love but accepting it, and eventually falling out of love. All very interesting, but the obvious point is that this episode was about Buck discovering his feelings - romantic feelings - for someone he wasn't expecting (aka a man).

But I don't think it ends there.

"You Don't Know Me", the title of episode 5, is likely a reference to the alien limb situation (or whatever it's called) that the guy in the preview has going on. But it could also be a reference to the Ray Charles song "You Don't Know Me" which is a song about someone desperately pining for their friend while the friend remains oblivious (and is implied to be with someone else). Now, if I put my clown makeup on, obviously I'm seeing Buddie in neon lights. But either way, I think you can reasonably argue this episode will be focused (at least partially) on Buck's love life and very likely the intersection of Buck's budding gay romance and his friendship with Eddie (as was implied by the preview trailer). Now, whether or not this will eventually lead to Buddie (possibly in season 8) is anyone's guess, but a guy can dream right?

But wait! There's more!

According to the Wikia, "There Goes the Groom" is the title of episode 6, and here is where we really get into conspiracy theory time.

So, there's a Nancy Sinatra song called "There Goes the Bride", and it is yet another old song about someone pining for someone else who is already in a relationship.

There goes the bride

Waste away and long of love

Walking down the aisle

Where I′d like to go

Here goes the groom

Everything that I live for

I love you so

She couldn't love him more

Somehow I knew I′d lose you

And when you left, how I cried

I went away to try to forget him

That's when he met the bride

There goes my love

Only I know what it means

There goes the bride

Down with all my dreams

Somehow I knew I'd lose him

And when he left, oh, how I cried

I went away to try to forget him

That′s when he met the bride

There goes my love

Only I know what it means

There goes the bride

Down with all my dreams

It's a tragic love song, and has overt themes of matrimony. Now, I don't think Eddie is going to be getting married to Marisol anytime soon, but I do think there may be some indication that Eddie is serious about her and that could cause some interesting feelings for Buck (possibly even the beginnings of a realization or hint that Buck does not have entirely platonic feelings for Eddie). The song has this ongoing narrative about loving, losing, trying to move on, then seeing your love find someone else. Which could apply to Buck seeing Eddie with Marisol, moving on with Tommy, and realizing that he can't because he truly does love Eddie. But that's just a theory. (A gay-me theory.)

I do think it's likely that the big 911 call (case? mission? firefighter equivalent?) of the episode has something to do with a wedding/marriage, and that whatever dynamic is going on between the people involved ends up having some connection to Buck/Eddie, Buck/Tommy, and/or Eddie/Marisol's situation (the 911 writers love their thematic parallels afterall). And, with the melancholy tone of the song plus the theme of loss, it's also possible this episode involves some kind of separation, possibly a fight that causes distance between two of the characters (Buck and Eddie perhaps?), but this is all speculation.

Episode 7 is titled "Ghost of a Second Chance". Well, there are no songs titled "Ghost of a Second Chance" that I could find, but there are actually a lot of songs titled "Ghost of a Chance". "Buck, Bothered and Bewildered" proves the writers often change the names of songs a little to make the reference fit their character narrative better, so I'm not throwing my theory to the curb just yet.

At first, I thought the reference may have been to the Rush song "Ghost of a Chance" which is actually a love song. It's about two people finding each other and, despite the narrator/singer not believing in "forever or love as a mystical state", still believing their love could last.

But, in keeping with the older music theme, there's also a Frank Sinatra song called "Ghost of a Chance" or, more accurately, "(I Don't Stand) A Ghost of a Chance"

I need your love so badly I love you oh so madly But I don't stand a ghost of a chance with you I thought at last I found you But other loves surround you And I don't stand a ghost of a chance with you If you'd surrender Just for a tender Kiss or two You might discover That I'm the lover Meant for you And I'd be true

But what's the good of scheming I know I must be dreaming For I don't stand a ghost of a chance with you

What's the good of scheming I know I must be dreaming 'cause I don't stand A ghost of a chance With you

Wow! Yet another song about someone in love and pining for a person who's affections are preoccupied by someone else. How interesting.

Well, if my theory about the previous episode is correct, then it's possible that this episode is about reconciliation and pining. "Ghost of a Second Chance" implies being given the chance to try something again. And with the theme of the Frank Sintra song, pining might also be an ongoing motif. So, if the previous episode involved some type of fight and distancing between Eddie and Buck, then this episode might be about them making up despite Buck's (possible) ongoing inner turmoil (realizing he's in love with his best friend?).

I'm sure I'm practically honking my clown horn at this point, but maybe, just maybe these episode titles really are hinting at Buck's emotional state, and maybe his emotional state is occupied with unresolved feelings of jealousy and devotion directed towards his currently-not-single best friend Edmundo "Eddie" Diaz.

[starrywangxian]

my clematis: mizisua ver vs. ivantill ver

i've noticed a lot of people comparing ivan and sua so i thought i'd take a look at the difference of their versions of my clematis to see who sings which part - over the cut!!

i also ramble about the parallels/similarities/differences between the four characters after.

(i'll be looking at the english translation because i can't speak korean T^T)

(if i get anything wrong, please let me know!!)

till / sua: oh my clematis

till / sua: hope bloomed from the abyss

ivan / mizi: oh my clematis

ivan / mizi: always be by my side

till / sua: you bloomed from

till / sua: the huge black wall

ivan / mizi: the galactic starlight

ivan / mizi: in your eyes spreads out

ivan / mizi: in the endless darkness

ivan / mizi: i find you with your scent

till / mizi: even if i sleep in infinity

till / sua: don't leave my universe

ivan & till / mizi & sua: oh my clematis

ivan & till / mizi & sua: hope bloomed from the abyss

ivan & till / mizi & sua: oh my clematis

ivan & till / mizi & sua: always be by my side

ivan / mizi: do you believe in god?

till: no! stop talking

ivan / mizi: once upon a time, mankind believed in god and had religion

till: sigh...

ivan / mizi: they believe that things that cannot be solved by human strength

ivan/ mizi: are the will of god

ivan / mizi: believed that the entire universe revolved around the earth

ivan / mizi: thought that the place that connected with the sky, which they could not dare to reach

ivan / mizi: was the place where the gods lived

till: that's just ridiculous.

ivan / mizi: from the moment humanity left the universe, we all forgot god

ivan / mizi: but if belief in god is human

ivan / mizi: if all i can do as a human is to believe

till: why are you staring at me?

ivan / mizi: my god

till: hey, hey! wait!

ivan / mizi: my universe

till: ah, go away!! ahhhhh

till / mizi: oh my clematis

till / mizi: hope withered in the abyss

ivan / mizi: oh my clematis

ivan / mizi: please stay by my side

ivan: my clematis / mizi: oh my clematis

alrightyyy so i decided to do this because i feel like it's the best way to see how mizisua and ivantill compare. these particular characters covered these songs for a reason, right?

just to mention, i find it very interesting how till thinks the speech is ridiculous. does he say that because it's ivan that's saying it? or does he genuinely think it's ridiculous. because these words were originally mizi's. would he still think it's ridiulous if mizi was the one saying them? hmmmmm

but anyways to conclude. most of mizi's lyrics are covered by ivan and most of sua's lyrics are covered by till showing that, at least for this song, mizi and ivan are more similar than sua and till are, and if you think about it, it makes sense.

mizi saw sua as her god ("my god, my universe") and i think from how ivan only allowed himself to touch or show his feelings for till when he wasn't looking/unconscious has that same feeling, that ivan saw till as a god who was unattainable, untouchable in all circumstances except for when till was unaware. much like when you pray to god, you don't necessarily get a response back, you pray and hope that god hears it.

i know that most people compare sua and ivan because they have similar appearances and they both sacrifice themselves for their loves but i don't think that's quite the case.

for one, mizi and sua sang together and mizi only won by one point. their round was on equal footing as they both sang, complying with the rules of the game. they both accepted their fates, i feel like both were prepared to die for the other but mizi was unaware that sua was planning to sacrifice herself to make sure that mizi won. whereas, ivan and till sang separately and till won by 19 points. ivan could not bare the thought of till dying and manipulated the score which till was completely unaware of, even thinking that ivan was going to kill him right until the moment where he opened his eyes (which is AHHHHH). ivan and sua are opposites here and mizi and till were both unaware what the other was planning.

and i can see why people compare mizi and till together (i mean i judt did it ksdjksjd). mizi and till both win due to the others' sacrifice but if you think about it, these songs are about being left behind, right? we haven't seen how till feels about ivan's sacrifice yet but we know that ivan feels unseen by till. like he's been left behind. and he quite literally was left behind by till when they tried to escape on that night with the meteor shower. mizi was left behind by sua because she died but ivan was left behind by till because he cared about someone else more.

and, i mean, mizi is the one who covers black sorrow, not sua. and black sorrow is a song about not being able to reach someone (ï can't reach you"), about standing next to someone who shines (ÿou who shine, i stand next to you" <- this also adds to the idea that ivan/mizi see the other as a god), about waiting for someone (ivan waiting for till to notice him and mizi waiting for sua to return to her). so are sua and ivan really that similar?

and i mean mizi dyes the ends of her hair blue, which is ivan's colour, not green (till's colour)...

anyway i'm rambling at this point but hopefully you can make sense of what i'm trying to get at lmao

(feel free to add your own thoughts!!)

[spywhitney]

Why I'm Not Buying New Tickets for the Sydcarmy Train (For Now Anyway)

So yesterday I re-watched S3 (aside from EP10. I didn't feel like watching Sydney having a panic attack again) so I can write this with a fresher perspective.

For a little context, S3 dropped at 2am Thursday for where I was and I couldn't get to sleep because A) I was so excited to watch it and B) It was more hot than usual so that kept me awake so I watched it all immediately.

My main stance is not that I don't necessarily doubt sydcarmy will happen, but rather I don't like the idea of it as much as I did before S3. Now, to my points:

Season 4 May Be the Last Season I believe it will be, or if we're lucky (???), an extra season. With how the story has gone thus far, and how the actors are being catapulted into the spotlight, I doubt there will be time for a satisfying sydcarmy ending.

Carmen Is No Longer Attractive as a Male Lead

The bear is a show of flawed characters that we can all connect, sympathise and root for in one way or another.

I had a hard time finding the Carmy from the previous seasons, or enough of the good traits that made him sympathetic enough for me to overlook his unsavoury ones. The yelling, ignoring, the disrespect, the arrogance, the abandonment, the neglect (and whatever else I haven't said) directed at Sydney (and everyone else, but she gets the worst of him the most often) doesn't make me want to see them kiss.

The first word that came to mind is gross. Could you imagine if a friend explained what Sydney has went through with Carmen then revealed they're getting into a romantic relationship with him? There's a certain ick factor that can't be undone completely by longing stares, chemistry and hundreds of analysis posts for me.

If being around your "soulmate" is leading to deteriorating health, it's not worth it. Smells too much like struggle love to me, and I'm not fond of the implications of that.

Dwindling Faith in the Execution of Sydney’s Character I held an expectation that S3 will be heavily focused on Sydney, but she was side-lined once again, and not for characters or arcs that I and a lot of viewers wanted to see. (Not to mention how this season was in general).

This season was mostly rising action and conflict, and with that we've seen Sydney at her lowest and have to wait to see if she will be victorious before the end (the word victory was first said by Sydney and one other person so far in the show, so I hope that's a good sign).

I don't want to sit through watching a black woman be a workhorse/emotional support/"work wife" to a white guy, or just anyone really. There was microscopic if non-existent reciprocity or at the bare minimum acknowledgement of what Sydney has done for everyone and the restaurant (and not just from Carmen).

Carmen Has to Change More Than Sydney Does His flaws far out weigh the severity of Sydney's. With S3, him not being okay is making Sydney not be okay, this is something I was concerned about in S2 with all the parallels, while some are sweet/romantic, others like the throwing up, the ticket machine and now the panic attacks, are too largely negative to be overlooked.

Saying that Sydney is becoming Carmen is not a stance I agree with (or want to believe), but for the show so far he's been giving her more problems, more stress and not enough care, respect, love to make up for it. Sydney has a flaw of not being vulnerable and expressing herself. It affects herself and her relationships with others, but not to the point where they're worse of. Carmen's flaws are negatively affecting Sydney's health, while despite her flaws, Sydney's strengths positively affect Carmen without fail. See where the problem is? Sydney has nothing to gain (and so far, has gained nothing substantial) from being around Carmen in any capacity, while Carmen has continued to benefit from her presence.

Again, it's kind of hard to root for them when romance involves people who compliment each other, make each other better. "You make me better at this." This is certainly true for Carmen, but Sydney? I don't see how this has been illustrated, or at most to a significant extend to where the negative aspects of their dynamic are out trumped. (Sidenote: At least Claire was getting lovingly touched and getting fucked by Carmen while Sydney was building up their dream restaurant alone. That's some nasty work.)

Sydney Deserves a Changed Carmen, Not a Struggling One Or a different love interest altogether. (Luca, where are you at? My condolences to the sydmarcus crowd, they really burned your ship in S2 then let it sink in S3.)

This connects to my very first point, but I don't think there will be enough time for Carmen to improve to be the man Sydney deserves. He also has yet to suffer the consequences for how he's treating Sydney. So far he has suffered at his own mind and trauma, but that's not enough for me. He has yet to pay his dues when it comes to Sydney, so the the idea that she will stay with him and The Bear and wait around for him to be and do better when she's been doing that three seasons straight doesn't sit right with me.

Like Sydney's gone through all that she's gone through (mostly due to Carmen) only for Carmen to be what she gets at the end? Eh, no thanks. (Especially if Sydney doesn't get loved up and taken care of by someone deserving, succeed professionally and win in general.)

Subtext, Glorious Subtext Last one. Whoop whoop! Being a sydcarmy has made watching this show so much better.

However, I can't be the only one who at times is getting tired of hyperfixating on subtext only for it to amount to nothing.

But, I have a few observations myself. I don't want Sydney to stay with Carmen/at the bear, I want her to leave. I have a feeling she won't but:

-In S3 EP5, when Sydney asked Carmen if he knew if Ever was special when he was there and I think he said he didn't, but Sydney said it was good he got to experience it.

-The only noteworthy Claire scene where she talks about the girl who fell into a glass table and laughed after the surgery, and Claire said she thinks the wounds didn't hurt yet. (And the scar on Carmen's hand. Is that from the pilot S1 episode when he grabbed the pan?)

-When it's revealed Terry is closing Ever, Richie presumes the reason is because she's depressed, but it's revealed she just didn't want to do it any more.

-The ever chef told Sydney if it wasn't for Terry closing he'd probably be there forever.

With these moments I like to think Sydney's arc is learning to move on, to not make "everything the thing". Carmen is the one who needs to stay at the bear, in one place and work on becoming himself with where he's at.

I may add onto this later, if you've read this far thank you, and I hope it was interesting. Links below are my rants on S3 and sydcarmy. Pretty sure you could decode the five stages of grief in them- I'm so dramatic lol.

This This And this

[smok3r7]

Latching On To You

Joel Miller x F!reader

Explicit, 18+

Chapter one: History Lesson

Series Masterlist & My Main Masterlist - My Ao3

Series summary: What happens when, after thirteen loving years of being with Joel, you start to feel like he’s slipping away from your grasp? How much of yourself will you lose because of the trauma your father put you through, at such a young age? You could be wrong about Joel, but something is telling you otherwise - or are you just not healed enough to see past your own insecurities?

Chapter summary: The beginning of you and Joel is a story that most can’t relate to, truly one of a kind. The history between your father and you, explains how the trauma shaped your mind and future. You and Joel have a bond like siblings for the longest time, but as you grow older and independent, a stronger connection is formed - which leads to your blissful beginning of your life together.

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: age difference in the beginning (15/20) NOTHING SEXUAL UNTIL READER IS OVER 22 & JOEL IS 27!! No use of y/n, no outbreak AU, no Sarah AU, smoking weed and drinking, abandonment issues, trauma from father w/ alcoholism, attachment issues, HEAVY ANGST, daddy kink (minimal), unprotected P in V, fingering, mutual pinning

~So here we go ladies and gents! My first story back, I cannot wait for you all to read this, I’m not sure how long of a series this will be but this is a start! Thank you so much to @chloeangelic for helping to revise this and giving me tips, I really appreciate your help babes🫶🏼

“Aren't you somethin' to admire?

'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror

And I can't help but notice

You reflect in this heart of mine

If you ever feel alone and

The glare makes me hard to find

Just know that I'm always

Parallel on the other side

'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul

I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go

Just put your hand on the glass

I'll be there to pull you through

You just gotta be strong” ~ Mirrors by Justin Timberlake

——————————

You and Joel pretty much grew up together in your teen years. His mom actually worked with yours at the hospital as nurses in Austin and that’s how they became close, like sisters. Hence how the Millers became a pretty huge part of your family, resulting in Joel and you meeting. You guys happened to also live across the street from each other - complete coincidence. You had just turned fifteen, and Joel had turned twenty, only a month after your birthday when you guys started hanging out. Joel wasn’t going to college because he was working full time, saving up the money he made so he could buy his dream house he talked about and maybe even venture out a little bit. But since he was living at home, Joel would watch over you a lot while your mom was either working, out with friends, or with his parents.

Your home, that had always been a two parent household, had now gone down to a one parent household in a matter of seconds, or so it felt like. Your dad was always heavily involved in your life with everything you ever did and he loved you unconditionally, but it was as if something switched in his brain, and he suddenly started to drink all the time, then distancing himself from everything the last four years. After the second year of him acting like a mess, you brushed it off that it’s because you were becoming a teen and that’s just what happens, that you weren’t “Daddy’s Little Girl” anymore.

But as months passed, you started to notice how bad it really was. He was drinking so much that he would pick nasty fights with you and your mom. He needed it to live at that point, where he would wake up at night from withdrawals. But the part that will forever leave you scarred, the part that causes your heart to break the most, is how he left.

It was the morning of your fifteenth birthday that your mom told you that he left, the bastard packed up his bags and left in the middle of the night. No goodbyes, no big hugs, and no apologies while he bawled “I love you baby.” Absolutely nothing.

Since then, now in your mid twenties, there’s been radio silence from him. You haven’t heard anything, which you honestly prefer after how he left things. But after all this time you still don’t understand where your relationship went wrong or what you did wrong for your father to drastically change like that.

But like a blessing in disguise, here came Joel and his family to help you and your mom. Joel’s parents have been good friends with your own since you were little, so they were caught just as off guard as your mom was when your dad just packed up and was gone. Since your father left, Joel’s parents have been a godsend for your mom. She was the one who went into a spiral because her and your dad had been together since they started high school. Least to say, she never saw this coming, not then and not in a million years. It truly broke her, and you were scared that you would lose her too.

—

Throughout high school, you and Joel hung out but still slowly drifted apart as he was working all the time and you were focused on school. You were okay with that - you needed a bit of a distraction from Joel, mainly due to having the world’s biggest crush on him and the fact that you were getting a little bit attached to him. Ever since your father left, you tried your best to avoid serious relationships of any kind in fear of them suddenly leaving you. But it was different with Joel, you always thought he was the most genuine person there was and you knew he wouldn’t leave you.

He would play the silly games you wanted to play, listen to whatever drama was happening with your friends, and he would help if you were having any trouble with the feelings that you had regarding your father; if you could even call him that. However, you’ve never told Joel about your feelings for him because, well, at that point you weren’t eighteen, so that would be wrong on his end. But you also didn’t want to ruin the relationship you guys had. You two were literally best friends and you were scared that, if you went any further, that he would slink away from you, just like how your father did, and you didn’t think you could take another emotional loss like that.

—

As soon as you graduated high school and had celebrated your nineteenth birthday and Joel’s twenty-fourth, you and Joel would hang out all the time. You pretty much lived between your moms and Joel's two bedroom house he ended up buying a year prior. You got a part time job at the local bar in town and only worked early afternoons. So, you had the evenings to do what you wanted, which usually included something to do with Joel - worked out great since he got out of work just an hour before you. You two would go hiking, fishing, you’d kick his ass in card games or a lot of the time, you would smoke some weed and have some drinks together and talk about whatever was on your mind.

After your twenty-first birthday, you had gotten a job as a receptionist at the largest law firm in Austin. You were doing really well for yourself, considering your work history - which altogether was not that impressive. So you were really proud of yourself for not giving up and continuing to strive to better yourself. After getting this job you finally felt like you had a purpose, you didn’t feel like you were floating around lost and barely getting by. Your mom was so happy for you, so happy in fact that she threw a party to celebrate you and your success.

You’ve never liked parties that had you as the center of attention, but you knew that your mom needed this more than you did. Ever since that night, your mom did the best she could to hide her feelings around you, but you knew she was breaking internally. So you’ve let her make a big deal out of anything - even if it’s small, for example; About five months ago you had made a beautiful painting of a cabin that you and your mom love to run away too sometimes. She had loved it so much that she showed it to everyone and somehow she ended up getting it put into a little gallery downtown. So needless to say, you adore your mom and will let her be happy by letting her throw you celebrations for even the smallest victories.

After getting settled into the job, there were a couple months where you and Joel didn’t see each other. Nothing was wrong, it just kind of happened, your mom needed you at the house and the new job was taking all your time and attention - Joel understood completely and was so happy for you. However, deep in you, there was a part of you saying that he was distancing himself and he was going to leave you. You almost felt like he sensed that because you two would just chitchat on the phone for a couple hours when you both had time instead, and this helped ease your mind and confirm that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Around a year and a half goes by, as does another round of birthdays, and one promotion that you couldn’t believe you got. You are proud to say that you have finally found a healthy mix of home life and work life. You pretty much have been living at Joel’s for the last three months, which naturally started happening because the commute to work was shorter by twenty minutes from Joel’s house. You still pop over to your moms to grab a few things, hang with her for a day or two, make sure she’s good, and then you’re back off to Joel’s. You’ve honestly been really happy with how your life has been going, you couldn’t be happier.

—

It’s a calm summer evening, warm enough for the bugs to be out but the breeze helps to keep them away. You and Joel are sitting out on his gorgeous back patio that has string lights from tree to tree like a roof, a good size fire pit in the middle of the circle of comfortable lawn chairs - this is your favorite place to be.

You two are talking about how each other's Friday went, which led to Joel bringing up that since you’re here all the time, you should just move in with him. You used to joke around about living together anyway, so when he brings it up as he puts more logs on the fire you started, you just brush it off thinking he’s joking around like he always does.

You laugh as you say, “I remember we used to say that all the time,” looking up at Joel after lighting the blunt you rolled, quickly realizing he’s not joking this time. You oppose at first, not wanting to step on his safe space more than you feel like you already have. But Joel stops your rambling by saying your name as he sits back down next to you and grabs your hand on your thigh.

You instinctively stop rambling and start listening to him talk, “I’m being serious. You’re not a burden. I love that you come over, I honestly don’t know what I would do with myself if you weren’t here. If I didn’t want you here, I simply wouldn’t have asked you.” You’re left speechless, a tear starting to roll down your cheek as you take a hit off the blunt. You hand it to him and, before you can say anything back, you start coughing like you’ve never smoked before. Joel just starts laughing at you, his laugh so genuine he leans back into his chair, putting one hand on his belly and the other arm folding over his head.

“Shut up, Joel! You act like this never happens to you!” You spit between coughs and sips of water. Joel calms down with his laughter as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a hit.

“No darlin’, you always know how to ruin tender moments.” He goes to put it out so you can recover but, before he can, you grab it from him.

“Um, Miller, I’m not done with that. Also, just for the record, I don’t always ruin the moment. I just make them an even better memory for us,” you wink as you blow smoke out into the starry night sky, watching the soft wind make the smoke disappear. He looks at you and just shakes his head as he smiles to himself and says, “That you sure do, sweetheart…that you do.”

You two sit back into a comfortable silence as you watch the flames dance around and listen to the bugs chirp making their own melody. After a couple rounds of passing the blunt back and forth, Joel puts it out in the ashtray next to the two of you. “The offer is on the table, always will be,” Joel says, looking into the fire as he sits back and puts his arms over his head and leans back in his chair. You smile to yourself, knowing he was not going to give it up and, honestly, you wouldn’t either if it was the other way around.

You lean back and turn your head to your right and look straight into his beautiful brown eyes, your high starting to catch up to you and you can feel yourself beginning to look at Joel in a hazy way. Your eyes start to wander along his beautiful features, you notice his hair is getting a little bit longer and the curls are developing a lazy pattern. You start to fantasize about how it would feel to run your fingers through them and pull on his locks to make him look at you while he kisses you.

His lips are the next thing your eyes travel to, and you wonder how they would feel on your body. Starting from your tits, all the way to your pussy, the thought makes you squirm in your chair a little. You’re hoping you can play it off, that you’re just got a chill, but you know Joel is smarter than that. You go back to looking at his eyes, almost forgetting that he said something to you, and you see he’s already staring back. There’s a sudden shift in his eyes as you say, “I might just take you up on it then.”

The next thing you feel is his warm hands on your cheeks and his soft warm lips on yours. You instantly start to kiss back with desire and affection, instantly melting into his touch, but as soon as you bring your hands to his, he stops.

“Darlin’, I’m- oh, shit,” he mumbles, starting to back away from you, feeling like he has overstepped, but before he’s completely out of your grasp, you pull him back in by the collar of his denim jacket and kiss him again. This time, he doesn’t back away from you. Instead, he stands up from his chair and picks you up from yours, latching your legs around his waist as he brings you inside. As he opens the slider door to go in, you open your eyes and the flames from the fire catch your eye.

“Joel!” You exclaim, and he stops walking, looking at you with a confused look on his face,“The fire.” You try your hardest not to laugh and he turns his head to see the flames are still pretty big. He sighs as he shakes his head, “Another perfect example on how you ruin the moment darlin’.” You slap his chest playfully and you both start to laugh. He kisses you as he taps your thigh, signaling for you to hop down.

“Sorry for not wanting your place to burn down,” you scoff, putting your hands up in surrender.

“Yeah, yeah, pretty girl. Go upstairs and wait for me, I’ll be right there,” he winks at you, slapping your ass as you turn on your heels, and you yelp as you run towards his stairs.

—

Your mind is racing as you reach his bedroom door. You slowly turn the knob and walk into his light gray colored walls, instantly feeling safe. You’ve been here countless times, under different circumstances, yet you don’t feel out of place - You feel like you’re supposed to be here. Like everything that you’ve been through has led to this moment.

As you move across the carpet, you stand in front of his dresser and you see two framed pictures of you and him - first one being a selfie in front of his house the night he bought it, the second one being an off guard photo of you and Joel talking the night of your party for your job. You never noticed that he had these framed, and as you bring your hand to it, a smile creeps on your face as you slightly shake your head in disbelief.

All of a sudden, you feel a pair of big soft arms hug across your waist, and his chin resting in the crook of your neck. “My favorite pictures of us…especially you. Your smile was the biggest I’d seen it in a long time in both of these,” Joel says, starting to kiss your neck softly in between his words. You fold into his touch instantly and you moan as he starts to suck a soft spot on your neck. His hands start to travel down to unbutton your jeans.

“I was so proud of you… I was so happy that you got the dream house you wanted. You deserve it,” you say between heavy breathing.

“Don’t downplay yourself, sweetheart. You worked your ass off to be where you are now and I just admire that,” You try to say something, but your mind and mouth won’t cooperate. “My dream wasn’t complete then but now that you’re here to stay. My dream is finally starting to come true,” he tells you, and you both look into his dresser mirror, making eye contact. You turn around swiftly in his grasp as you put your hands on his chest and push him towards his bed. The back of his knees hit the mattress and, as he sits down, his legs open and you stand between his thick thighs. He looks up into your eyes and smirks.

You smile back as you dip your head to slowly take your jeans off, when you bring your head back up to look at him, you grab his chin and pull him into a hot and heavy kiss - one of those kisses where yours and his tongue are exploring each other like it’s an addiction, while he grabs your ass and massages it.

That’s when he pulls you into his lap so you can straddle him. You start to rock your clothed clit back and forth on his growing hard on, while Joel’s calloused hands somehow feel soft as he grabs your ass and guides your movements. You can start to feel the wetness leak through your panties onto the bulge of his jeans, but that’s the least of your worries right now. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this pretty girl,” Joel says between kisses as one hand goes into your panties. He gathers your wetness and brings it back to your clit, rubbing circles causing you to shake.

“Me either,” is all you can say without becoming a moaning mess. You’re still rocking back and forth but with a new pace, one that Joel is setting. Initially, you wanted to be the one in control but you quickly changed your mind about that, it seems. You want Joel to be in complete control of you right now, you don’t even want to think about anything other than Joel. Always Joel. Only Joel.

Your train of thought is stopped quickly by Joel inserting two fingers into your dripping pussy. Your movements pause as you adjust to his fingers, your jaw dropping as a long moan comes out. “That’s my good girl,” Joel’s starts as he begins to pump his fingers in and out of you. You continue to grind on his fingers as he murmurs, “Gotta warm you up first, darlin’… I don’t wanna hurt you.” All you can do is nod and whine to him that you can take him, but he chuckles to himself. “Oh my pretty girl thinks she can take it, huh? Well, let’s see.”

Before he finishes his sentence, he’s pulling his fingers out of your pussy and flipping you over so you’re now on your back, with him towering over you. You giggle from how smoothly he did it, he then brings his fingers to your mouth so you can taste yourself. Without any hesitation, you open your mouth and let his fingers in as you suck on them. He moans when you make a mess with a mix of your own saliva and juices. Joel pulls his fingers away from your mouth with a pop and bends down to kiss you again, but this kiss is different. This somehow feels like a “I love you and I care for you” kind of kiss, one you reciprocate, wanting him to know you feel the same.

He slightly breaks the kiss so he can pull his jeans and boxers down, his cock springing onto his belly, dripping with precum. Your mouth drops when you notice all the veins he has, just hypnotized by the way it was throbbing for you. “You still sure you can take it baby?” Joel taunts as he sees you staring. Without even thinking, you grab his cock and start to slowly stroke him, and his head falls behind his shoulders, his body jerking as he moans.

“Yes, daddy, I can,” you taunt back with a smirk on your face. Once you say that, it’s like something primal snaps inside of Joel. He stops you from touching him, his hands rips off your panties, and throws them somewhere into the darkest corner of his room. Next thing you know, he’s lining his cock up to your throbbing, glistening pussy but he doesn’t put it in. Your arms are clawing at his back for him to make the move.

“You’re so impatient, baby. You gotta relax,” Joel drawls. Before you can come back with some smart ass remark, you feel him sliding his cock up and down your slit, creating a lewd mix of your juices and his precum. Your hips start to move with the rhythm of Joel’s, and it has the tip of his throbbing cock hitting your clit perfectly. You can already feel that tightening in your belly starting to form, turning you into a moaning mess.

His forearms are on either side of your head as he starts to suck and lick your neck again, having found the sweet spot that makes you cave for him every time. “Joel, don't stop. Fuck, baby,” you moan out, as you lift your hips just trying to get him to quit his teasing, he slowly starts to slide his cock into your needy pussy. He gets about halfway in, but has to stop, “Fuck, you’re gonna kill me baby girl,”.

“C’mon baby, move,” you whine as you claw at his back again, wrapping your legs around him and digging your heels into his hips. Your pussy is throbbing for more, so pent up that you’re getting impatient. “Fuck me, daddy,” you moan as you throw your head back into his soft pillows. Suddenly, you feel the other half of his throbbing cock split into you, and your legs let go of his hips as you yelp. He starts to pound your pussy, like you pleaded him to, the mixes of each other juices creating a loud slapping sound that echoes in the bedroom - you are losing your mind from that alone.

“This what you want needy baby? Just need daddy to give it to you rough.” Joel grunts as he grabs your right ankle and brings it to his shoulder, he holds your ankle in place with a hand as he starts to bite and kiss it while his other hand goes to your throat. You give him a smirk, telling him yes. He starts to squeeze the sides of your throat and you feel yourself start to get in a daze, before he lets go, then does it again.

You jolt a little bit when you feel his fingers from his other hand moving down to your clit. The mix of his fingers working on your clit, his cock hitting every spot you need it to, his words praising and degrading you, and him squeezing your throat has you seeing stars.

“Joel, fuck. I’m close, don’t stop, please,” is all you can say as you feel the tightness in your belly about to snap.

“Let it go sweet girl. Look at you, showing me you can take my cock and all,” he coos, and that’s all that it takes to send you over the edge.Your back arches as you moan Joel’s name over and over like a mantra, not ever wanting to forget him. Your body goes limp and your head is dizzy, when you feel him pull out and you both moan at the loss of each other's warmth, before he cums on your belly - moaning your name over and over like you did his.

—

Fucked out of your minds, Joel rolls off of you and both of you lay on your backs next to each other, just listening to one another’s breathing. You feel him get up from the bed as he walks to his bathroom, coming right back with a warm hand towel to clean you up. He gently rubs the towel and cleans you, then he throws the hand towel in the direction you know his hamper to be.

Joel grunts as he lays back down on his side to look at you, while you mimic his movements. This is the first time you’ve seen Joel with this post-fuck face he has, looking like he went to heaven and back. You hope you get to see more of him like this, just crumbling for you - He moves a piece of your hair behind your left ear and looks into your eyes.

“How’s that for ruining the moment?” you say without even thinking. You and Joel just start giggling again. ”Well, you’re two for zero right now..but you were right. You do make the memories better,” Joel is barely able to get out. After a little bit, a comforting hum from his rotating fan and both of your breathing, is all that can be heard as you stare at each other sincerely, you slowly move your body closer to Joel’s, wanting to feel him again. Joel wraps his arms around you like a delicate cocoon as you begin to slowly glide your fingers up and down his strong, yet gentle, arms. You slot your right leg between both his warm thighs, then you wrap your left leg around his hip.

The two of you are wrapped together like some kind of beautiful present you get on Christmas morning. As both of your breathing patterns and heart beats sync up, Joel kisses the top of your head and sleepily whispers, “I’m so glad you decided to stay, my love.”

You smile into his chest and hum, “Mhmm. Me too, Joel…me too.” You drift off into sleep feeling safe and loved while in Joel’s arms, Joel’s home, and Joel’s heart. Just you and Joel.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep1 Musings - Looking for Home: Louis, Claudia & Daciana

They flip between siblings and parent so much even I was getting whiplash--no wonder Lou's confused. U_U

This was EEEEEEEEVIIIIIIL, AMC! 😭 Louis carrying Grace's wedding portrait, and using it to FAKE his identity in Europe, after Grace couldn't even go to Europe for her own honeymoon cuz Paul died--STOP IT! 😭😭

And you can hear just a few quick seconds of the DPDL lietmotif that always plays for Grace, Paul, and sibling!Claudia, before it takes this SUPER dark and ominous tone--the song has been tainted, just like Lou's relationship with Grace and Claudia was tainted.

Go AWF, Claudia!

And then she finds ONE, and it was so heartbreakingly touching.

I was hoping she was Alessandra, but nope, she's an AMC!OC, Daciana. I'm assuming they were nodding to one rando revenant:

And she is obviously the same "Anna" the kids were singing about--(very Gaunter O'Dimm of them, I love it 💀)--living like frikkin Baba Yaga in a grimy castle in the woods.

Daciana killed her own fledgling after Claudia blinded him--after the revanant AND Daciana attacked them first, but whatever. Cuz she said he wouldn't be able to hunt/feed with no eyes--so it can't heal; her fledglings are too effed up. She's officially the last one in the area.

And I get it now--the bear(?) head Claudia breaks off of the dead vampire's sarcophagus was a heraldric figurehead. Claudia showed it to Daciana, as a way of asking her who that dead vamp was.

She didn't want to tell them her story or hear theirs--but she wanted them to know about Cezare Romulo (RIP). (It's crazy how in 5 minutes The Vampire Daciana was way more effective than a whole hour of Dierdre Mayfair. 🙄😒) She complimented Claudia's blood, saying it tasted like the cream of the crop. Daciana only told them her name, and that she was waiting for her children--fledglings or real ones, who knows (I bet both).

Only for Daciana to kill herself right in front of them (RIP). 😔🔥

This is so sad, but it was obvious she was gonna do that.

Stop teasing the Children of Darkness after this Alessandra fake-out. She's got the same darkness in her that Nicki (AND Louis) had. And we know where that means. 🔥💀🔥

These vampires are STARVING--hungry for family, love, home: LIFE.

So is Claudia! 😭😭😭 She wants a blood spouse! She wants a companion!

So I LOVE that Morgan clocked Louis on Grace's photo--that ain't yo wife! The gaydar was beeping the second your pretty arse walked in!

Like, it's been established that Louis is a terrible liar-you don't need an investigative journalist to figure that much out. Louis is TOO honest--he was dumb AF for telling Morgan his real name! I get why he did it in the book--again: desperate to make a connection.

But on the show it comes across way different--Louis almost immediately tells Morgan his name (he doesn't do that for Emilia, even though SHE called him pretty! Istg I was picking up some flirtatiousness with Lou & Morgan; put those pheromones AWAY 😂). But you come across MIGHTY SUS if your Black arse is going around switching identities on all these twitchy Europeans, Louis!

Like baaaaaasicallllllyyyyyyy!!! 🤦 You see them shooting up corpses just to make sure--you think they won't shoot YOU!?!

Anyways, it's so cool that they made Morgan a photographer--so is THIS why Louis starts taking photos!? 🤩📸

Cuz I've been wondering how Louis makes money in Paris so they don't have to pickpocket anymore?

I love that they included this.

No matter where they go, they have to pose as Black servants and maids and VALETS and SLAVES, white folk are the same regardless of the country.

Which was an interesting parallel with Daciana, and how much they were hyping up America.

She was clearly nuts, but smart & sane enough to realize that 2 (two!) Black vampires had fled their oh-so-great "land of the free" to come to HER busted AF blown up war-torn country, so why should she expect to have any happiness over there?

I don't know a lick of Romanian, but I wonder if the "another one" she was referring to was the soldier, or the country. As Daciana realized that no matter who she made her new fledgling, and no matter which country she ran to, she'd be alone & unhappy without the people she loved--her HOME.

Home is where the HEART is! Claudia's been homeless this whole time! Daciana's got that huge castle, but lives all alone--she can't make proper fledglings. Meanwhile Louis still thinks NOLA is home, even after they killed everyone who knew them--"including" Lestat!

*sigh* I hate this effing show, it's so dang good. 😭

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

ANNE.

Me and @she-walked-away have been talking and we have a new theory for 5x07 and 5x08. (Kaitlyn had the idea first) So Enzo and Jonah visit for TK's 30th birthday party, except that TK's long lost best friend from New York, Sophia, tags along too. Maybe she also had addiction issues in the past, like TK, maybe she didn't. But she came along because she wants to ask TK to be a sperm donor! So the "person from TK's past" isn't Enzo, it's Sophia.

👀

This is supported by her being listed as being in both episodes and the same ones as Enzo and also that she's a bit young to be Enzo's wife/girlfriend. (but who knows)

Can't wait for your very normal reaction to this theory.

Ooh, very interesting!! I think this is a plausible theory...I would need a couple things explained, but the show could probably do that. I know Kaitlyn (and me too lol) is desperately trying to come up with some kind of theory that fits but doesn't result in TK and Carlos ending up with Jonah, and this is a good one!

The fact that this Sofia is listed as appearing in the same episodes as Enzo does strongly hint toward there being some connection between them (unless there's just some other storyline that she's part of in the same episodes running parallel to the Enzo storyline). She is a bit young to be Enzo's wife/girlfriend. Not impossible, but it would be quite an age gap since the guy playing Enzo is 57 and the woman playing Sofia seems to be in her early 30s. She IS close to TK's age, so I think it could make sense that she's an old friend of his.

When it comes to this theory, I would have 2 main questions. First, how is Sofia close enough to Enzo to tag along with him from New York to Texas? I suppose if TK and Sofia were really close in the past, Enzo might have ended up knowing her well. Maybe Sofia spent a lot of time at Gwyn's (did Enzo live with Gwyn? Even if he didn't, he probably would have been there a lot). Maybe Enzo was even like a father figure to Sofia. Maybe they stayed in touch after TK moved to Austin. It's something that could be explained.

Second, why does Sofia want TK's sperm bad enough to travel so far and show up presumably unannounced? Seems like a really awkward situation to put herself in! Doesn't she know any men she can ask in New York? Maybe not. Maybe she had this strong connection with TK and that's why she wants to choose him...but if that's the case, wouldn't she have been in contact with him or still been in his life in some way? (But then again, wouldn't TK have been in contact with Enzo and Jonah?) I think the show could probably get us to the point where I could suspend my disbelief enough to accept this. It does seem like the kind of dramatic and outlandish sort of thing Lone Star would do!

Another consideration is that OG did a sperm donor storyline just two seasons ago. Does this matter? Maybe not. Particularly if it was handled differently enough.

Also, it feels similar to the Iris storyline last season. A long-lost female best friend coming back to shake things up in TK and Carlos' relationship. However, I don't think this would necessarily be a point against the theory. Lone Star loves its parallels!

Overall, a very intriguing theory! I assume the result of something like this would be to get TK and Carlos talking about having kids themselves, which is something I would personally love to see--particularly if it did not result in their kid being Jonah!!

[professoruber]

Quick thoughts on MAWS depiction of Krypton

My Adventures with Superman Spoilers

Okay so I've really been enjoying My Adventures With Superman (I recently re-watched and caught up with the show) but honestly I am personally not the biggest fan of the depiction of Krypton and Kara.

Disclaimer I am not a big comic expert and am still something of an novice, especially with Superman stuff, but I am slowly broadening my horizons.

Some things I like about Superman is the parallels to the story of Moses as well as the general immigrant story. Superman Smashes the Klan is one of the comics I've read so far and I really liked how it explored those latter themes.

So I guess I kinda feel that having Krypton be depicted as this imperialistic empire, especially one who was destroyed due the fights they picked, kinda undermines those parallels/themes? Granted, the immigrant story stuff can still very much be present regardless of the nature of Kryptonian society.

Perhaps it has something to do with my initial expectations that Kara would provide another view of Krypton to contrast the very negative impression which Clark had received from the very limited information he had received in the first season but uh...

While Kara is certainly a rather sympathetic individual, she is also certainly not exactly providing a better view of Krypton. Of course, I'd imagine as well that Primus Brainiac's version of Krypton is much worse than the original one.

(The reason why I had the theory is because I like the contrast between Superman and Supergirl, of the latter generally being depicted as having spent at least her formative years in Krytponian society, either Argo City or Krypton itself. Both are stories of immigrants, but with an interesting difference which makes them distinct in their experiences)

But we did hear from Jor-El that Krypton was indeed an Empire before its destruction (although... Clark's only able to have a proper conversation with Jor-El after the Brainiac systems of the ship had been explicitly activated... hm.)

As I said before, I am really loving MAWS and think its a very fun show. And I also do not want to criticise a show merely because it did not follow my exact personal expectations, that'd just be silly.

But I suppose that watching it has gotten me thinking about my personal thoughts on Krypton in general, and I feel like I might as well write it down.

The season's also not over yet, so there is a high possibility of more nuance being shown in Krypyton. Plus regardless of if Krypton was an empire, the regular civilians didn't deserve total destruction.

Anyway, MAWS is very good .Would recommend. And like I said, this is mostly my personal rambling of thoughts on Krypton and Kara. Can't wait to see the next episode!

Edit: kinda tired today but to slightly expand on my thoughts. I suppose in general I like the idea of Krypton with its own flaws and virtues. While MAWS could still very well show the better side of Krypton outside of Brainiac’s propaganda, it’s status as an imperialistic power which caused its own destruction through its conquests arguably would overshadow that somewhat.

Clark Kent was raised on Earth by the Kent Family. That’s who he is, where he got his values and how he was shaped into the man he is. But I also like him still nonetheless being able to be proud of his Kryptonian heritage and connect to it; being both Earthling and Kryptonian.

But in MAWS; between Jor-El’s A.I getting destroyed, Old Krypton being imperialist, New Krypton being ruled by Brainiac and Kara being a brainwashed war criminal, it leaves Clark with very little connection to Krypton and very little insight to what it was actually like as a society and culture and people.

And unless there’s further reveals about Kara’s backstory (although I do have a theory about that…), there’s a fair chance she won’t have much connection to Krypton once she gets freed from Brainiac’s comtrol. And what connection she does have right now is mostly negative and tainted by Brainiac.

Perhaps I am a bit pre-emptive in some of this and I do think there’s still plenty of room for the writers to expand on Krypton and what it was like and what lead to its empire and subsequent destruction. Regardless of what direction the writers take though, I am looking forward to seeing the show’s story progress!

[prettyinpwn]

Hello, just read your recent Stan(ley) analysis… I’m especially so delighted on the section of (A)Xolotl, because I’ve always heard of the connections in fleeting mentions (like just brief touches on parallels of Stan-Ford = Xolotl-Quetzalcoatl), but I just adore the way you tie it in thematically with the show’s overarching narrative, Stan’s character arc, and the visual cues in GF.

If you were ever interested in elaborating even further on the link between Stan-Bill/Stan-Axolotl like you mentioned, I for one would definitely read it!

Aww, thank you for reading! I'm glad you liked my Stan post. <3

As for my Stan-Bill-Axolotl theory, well...

*Glances at the 40 page unfinished monster.*

Honestly, I paused writing it because I was waiting until TBOB released in order to make sure that it didn't cancel anything I was suggesting out. That, and the hardest dang part is figuring out how to organize it. It goes from hints in the series, to hints in the books, to hints in even the long-forgotten Search for the Blindeye website. I've gone through two rewrites of it just trying to figure out how to make it less, er... crazy red string corkboard and more essay-like.

I can't promise I'll finish and release it, but long story short just in case I don't: the gist of my Long Con Theory (what I call it) blends the idea of the Axolotl being an opposite but similar cosmic force to Bill but for good rather than chaos, who "shapeshifts" (interpret that as you'd like, but we know he can become other/smaller forms, because example: Frilliam in TBOB) like the real life deity Xolotl to basically con Bill over millennia into falling into his trap, but doing so in such a way that Bill doesn't see it coming, and better yet, makes it his choice technically in the process.

Said trap in my opinion was a long, LONG string of cons that eventually led to what we see in Gravity Falls, Stan being one of the Axolotl's forms rather than the commonly theorized idea that he's a reincarnation of Bill (Same Coin Theory), who was the final puzzle piece to stopping Bill. It finally makes sense of why the Axolotl even offered Bill an out or second chance all those thousands to millions of years ago. The whole, "invoke my name if you get into trouble or whatever". That wasn't really an out. That was a trick, in my opinion, to force Bill - through his own free will, technically - into therapy.

It sounds nuts when I explain it without those forty pages of reasoning, but I found so much evidence along the way that... honestly, it started to make more sense to me than the Stan=Bill reincarnated theory (although I like that one a lot, too, for the karmic justice reasons; Bill defeating himself is just poetic and accurate in more ways than one).

If it sounds confusing, the shortest way I can describe my Stan-Axolotl theory is that Bill thinks he's the Multiverse's smartest little trickster, but the Axolotl has been playing 4D chess on him for millions of years in the most cosmically comedic way.

Also, it means that - contrary to popular belief - that would make Stan the echo of the Axolotl, and Ford of all people the echo of Bill; a brother saving his brother from his own mistakes and redeeming himself in the process, both cosmically as a deity chonky boi amphibian and his triangle chaotic bastard rival, and as human twin brothers. It would explain why the Axolotl even gives a rat's ass about Bill getting better and healing, anyways (or, at the very least, would make him a more interesting deity beyond the typical, "me am good god, everyone deserve hugs <3" type deal, as cute as that would be). And it would also tie in well with the Ford-Bill parallels The Book of Bill brought up; both having a "deformity" of sorts, being picked on, almost destroying (or succeeding in Bill's case) their own dimensions, etc.

Like... imagine you're the Axolotl and Bill is your cosmic deity twin brother; a polar opposite of what you stand for. Imagine him messing up so badly repeatedly, but because he's your family in a way, you spend millions of years trying to make him better through a long, complicated manner that involves a lot of deception. Sounds a hell of a lot like Stan's story, right? Whether or not you'd interpret Stan as a literal version of the Axolotl and Ford as a literal version of Bill, or the Axolotl and Bill as literal twins given their physical differences and likely dimensional origin differences, not sure, but... it fits just right to me.

If true, it also would tie in extremely thematically well with the rest of the series: family saving family, the importance of sticking with family, forgiveness and redemption, forgiving the seemingly unforgivable, twin relationships, repeated family cycles, etc. And to go super nutso because that's how I roll, imagine the thematic value of - by Bill hurting and manipulating Ford even if he's technically a "form" of himself - it's symbolic of him abusing himself AKA self-hate, of getting in his own way, etc.

And imagine if Bill KNEW Ford was a version of himself? And Stan a version of the Axolotl? Another reason for Bill to hate Stan, man. And extra reason for Bill to maybe regret what he did to Ford, because it was only hurting himself, and perhaps the only way Bill can learn empathy is to understand how what he does hurts himself because he obviously didn't learn it through hurting others. The angst-bait, I can TASTE it.

Then we add a little bit of the, "Oh, we thought Stan was a Bill reincarnation, but actually he's a form of the Axolotl, so yet AGAIN he's not what he seems goddammit." type plot twists within plot twists within thematic elements within theme circles and dimensions and...

*Long breath.*

And THEN it also explains why Jheselbraum would have even given a damn about helping Ford. Yes, she's nice and incredibly underrated fandom why don't we talk about her more, but she's associated with the Axolotl. He was probably like, "Hey, Jhessie, my twin brother's being a dumbass on the run from his own dumbass self again, can you put some metal in his head for me so he can tune himself out? Thanks.". And Jheselbraum was probably like, "Wtf, but okay, praise the Axolotl, I guess.". Like... we're never told WHY Jheselbraum saved Ford. Yes, they needed him to go home to start the rift and be with Stan again so that Weirdmageddon would happen so that all that timeline nonsense would end in Stan sending Bill to therapy, but HOW? WHY?

And don't get me started on Frilliam. Why the gat damn would the Axolotl shapeshift himself into a tiny chonk version to watch over Ford and give him bombastic side eye when he let Bill convince him to let tiny chonk version go? And then somehow magically shows up in the tank later during Tourist Trapped, when Stan owns the Shack? Like... this deity HAS to have a personal interest in Ford and Stan, right? How in the shit is it normal for your universe's deity to just chill in your house and watch over you unless he had some personal interest at stake?

And FRILLIAM? Which rhymes with WILLIAM AKA BILL? WHICH SOUND LIKE LAZY ASS TOO SIMILAR BOY TWIN NAMES LIKE STANLEY AND STANFORD ARE? COME ON.

And like... their school mascot being the vultures, which is associated with Xolotl's rule over the trecena of Vulture (kind of like an Aztec week in their calendar iirc).... and Stan being a cosmic damn master of the mind in Dreamscaperers and Weirdmageddon 3 so much that he can shift it at will that just never gets explained as to why... and all the parallels I mentioned of Stan embodying the virtues of the Axolotl in his writing in the post you mentioned... and Stan sharing similarities with Bill that led us to think he was Bill's reincarnation ("eenie meanie miney YOU") but maybe he's the Axolotl's different form so shares similarities for that reason instead because twin bros and... all the fire and new identities symbolism and, like... Stan having a horned/frilled reptilian/amphibian mask (albeit not an axolotl) on as his first appearance?

Anyways, the full theory makes a million more points, but yeah, this is why that theory is currently 40 pages long. This post is a microcosm of how nuts it gets. And how it sounds nuts until you put the breadcrumbs together until you're like, "Wait a minute, I'm either insane or Hirsch is. Or both."

lol also I said "long story short" earlier but the short version is an essay in and of itself forgive my rambling sins