#and i can't leave her behind
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I figured one day I'd just wake up and and find out what the hell yesterday was all about. I'm not too keen on thinkin' about tommorow. And today's slipping by.
Inland Empire (2006) dir. David Lynch
#inland empire#filmedit#horroredit#filmgifs#david lynch#mygifs#seen people make gifs for everything EXCEPT inland#and i can't leave her behind#not the movie ti thought was actually going to kill me
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In your Spitfire AU, since Zuko is looking after Lu Ten II, what happened to Ursa?
Zuko is slightly older in the Spitfire AU. He was banished at fifteen, his head a little clearer and denial a little weaker than in canon. After his first look through the Air Temples, Zuko decides that if he can't find a myth, he might as well search for the next best thing.
Finding Ursa isn't easy, but in time he makes it to a secluded house in a near-forgotten part of the world. His mom is there, older and stronger and alive.
But she isn't alone.
And Zuko, as it turns out, didn't keep the best company during his search.
When Ursa is discovered and her secrets are laid bare for assassins (for Ozai) to find, she begs Zuko to take his little brother and run. She'll do anything it takes to protect her children, even if that means leaving them behind to keep a target off their back. Ursa diverts attention from them and allows Lu Ten's ancestry to be kept a secret. She orders Zuko not to follow her again, and disappears.
Zuko is left with a little three-year-old brother to raise and a mother he cannot hold onto.
#dema answers#atla#spitfire#Spitfire AU#prince zuko#atla ursa#Lu Ten II#The Ursa/Hakoda parallels are going to be insane in this one I swear#It's okay tho#It's absolutely intentional#(The other option was killing her. But I happen to find family conflict and abandonment issues way more compelling to write)#Luckily Zuko isn't alone. He's a mess of course—and raising the little brother you never knew you had isn't easy.#But he has Uncle and (once those loyal to his father have been taken care of) he also has his crew.#Look three years into the future and you've got a six-year-old Spitfire running around the ship and giving Zuko early gray hair#Ursa will be reunited with them in the future. I just don't know when would that happen yet.#Probably post-war#She returns to her children only to come face to face with their overprotective found family (aka the Gaang)#Their reunion would be quite messy at first but...it'll all be okay#They all love each other deeply. And sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes there are things that you can't forgive or forget.#But Ursa did everything she did because she loved them. And Zuko knows that. Zuko understands that.#(He was forced to make the same decision in Ba Sing Se—giving yourself up and leaving the people you love behind so that they're safe)#(He understands)#But Lu Ten II doesn't#He doesn't remember Ursa. Not really. He knows of her what Zuko and Uncle tell him. But he doesn't remember ever having a mother.#(Tara is soft and warm and kind to him. She holds him and takes care of him and makes sure he's well-behaved. And he loves her.)#(Is that what makes a mother? Or is it the blood you share?)#Ursa isn't much like Tara. But she loves him dearly—there's a reason he has the name of someone who was so dear to her.#She is Lu Ten's mother. Zuko's mother. Uncle's sister.#And she isn't like Tara. But she loves him even if he can't remember her.#So maybe he can learn to love her back.
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movie that's written and produced exactly like one of those wholesome hallmark christmas movies (right down to the jaunty yet sentimental variation on a christmas hymn soundtrack) where a big shot city slicker has to go to a small town to close a deal after her predecessor ran away with a widowed yet jacked christmas tree salesman, only for it to descend into an outright cultist folk horror film in the second act
#idky but those movies fill me with dread in a way actual horror films sometimes can't#idk if i see a woman leave her whole life behind to save christmas. that's like midsommar to me. midwintar.#anyway twist the company are in on it. they're feeding these women to the christmastown entity and it's turning them into stepfordwife husks
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Yu Ziyuan & Jiang Yanli
mothers and daughters existing as wretched mirrors of each other: i am all you could have been and you are all i might be. (x)
#yu ziyuan#jiang yanli#feeling very frustrated and don't like this one but I have a sort of a point#jyl breaks the circle and marries a man she loves who loves her back and they have a perfect child. and yet she#can't escape her mothers fate and she dies. running into a battlefield. for a man who has brought her pain. leaving behind her child#I have a lot of feelings (and headcanons) about them#*mgifs#parentchild#cw blood#jiangfamily
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Silt Verses protagonists // Returning Home
#the silt verses#hi just realized carpenter and faulkner's returning home episodes are both chapter 9 of s2 and 3 respectively#idk what to do with this info#anyway something that makes me deeply emotional about this#just the way all of them return to it#paige expecting to come home to an empty abandoned place. surprised to find what's there. seeing the land as unpredictable.#carpenter knowing of the ruin of her previous childhood home. haunted more by the people she left behind. finding no comfort in being back.#faulkner being optimistic. saying perhaps his home could be a temple one day. this is the safest place i could be he says#(and I can't help but think about faulkner leaving marks before he left his home. so that no one else could find a home there.)#(both paige and faulkner returning home when they have no where else to go)#hayward looking up at his old home fondly. there's nothing left for him there. nothing he can find that he doesn't already have.#let her have the lie of me he says.
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Just some Lilith thoughts:
I do not believe for one second that Lilith is as cool and composed and effortlessly poised as some of the fandom make her out to be. Now this is just personal opinion (and I know we don't actually know much about her) Look at the man she married. Look at the child she raised. I don't think she'd be quite as CHEERY/overly optimistic as Charlie or as goofy as Lucifer. But there is no way that woman is 100% serious all of the time. She's gotta have a sense of humour. I want her to seem as graceful/regal as she appears... and I also want her to be kind of a dork. She gets flustered too, she makes faces, maybe she snorts when she laughs, maybe she makes really really bad jokes... I just like the idea that all of the Morningstars are a lil' silly in their own way. Look at them.🥺
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#hazbin hotel#lucilith#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#lillith morningstar#hazbin hotel lilith#and believe me I don't think this is the lilith we'll get...#we don't even know if Lilith is actually “herself” right now technically...#because I can't fathom why she'd leave her family behind#and I don't know if I can handle her just... not being as kind as maybe charlie believed..#there's just a lot we don't know but until then... I choose to believe she was fun and fun loving
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my favourite stiles is the stiles when malia gives him any form of affection and he just stares at her all bewildered because no one has been so unapologetic and unhesitating in giving their love to him and it always catches him off guard
#malia says I'll never leave you behind after saying coyotes leave people behind all the time. Stiles: whaaaa#stiles just look into my eyes stilinski. malia um actually how about i kiss you tate#malia hugging him immediately after getting control of her shift. stiles: exhales shakily like he can't believe it#what are you doing i haven't even brushed my teeth yet. :)))) i don't care. Stiles: starry eyes#do you hate me? i LIKE you. I LIKE YOU A LOT#stalia#malia tate#stiles stilinski#txt
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After everything is over and they settled into their new mortal lives, the protagonist asks the princess about her name again. If it felt odd to not have one, or if she wanted to make one for herself now or just be The Princess.
To which she points out that not only does he not have a name either, but not even a title or anything he's mentioned going by!
Which prompts him to stare blankly at the wall for like a solid hour while the voices run amuck in his head, because how did he never realize he didn't have a fucking name??
#I know the implication of the Leaving Together route is that the Voices stay behind. but I can't picture the bird man without them.#and to be honest I don't think either of them feel the need to pick a name. even as mortals that's not who they are.#they are The Princess and her little bird. her fledgeling. her killer and her hero.#slay the princess#slay the princess spoilers#the long quiet#the princess stp
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you know when you experienced something so traumatizing or grieved too hard your brain sort of temporarily locked that memory to protect you from the pain? i think that's what's been happening to me after deadpool 2 bc tell me why every time i rewatch that movie, i always forget how painful these scenes are?
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they always leave me sobbing and totally wrecked but with each rewatch i'd just... forget they would eventually happen and i'd eventually get hurt??
#i love poolverine but wade x vanessa will always have a special place in my heart#they're it for me#but then again as much as i'd love them to get back together i also think they shouldn't#and this is my personal opinion#bc just like logan whose past shaped him into the man who saved the multiverse#i think vanessa played that role in wade's current life#and i can see why wade said he did it all for her. but if marvel makes her dump dermot to go back to wade that's just 🤕#well i wouldn't like that and i think that'd be a disrespect to her character n story n choice she made#and honestly i won't even bother going to the “well she could've still loved and wanted him back” discussion bc#i do think she was well aware of her decision to leave wade in the end and it must've hurt her terribly too#I MEAN LOOK AT THEM. you can't convince me vanessa wouldn't want to take all of wade's pain if she could#she loved wade just as much. if not more#dp 2 might be my fav dp movie#i love how it focused on wade's struggle to cope and his journey to 'get his heart in the right place'#and no matter how goofy they tried to portray his struggles you can just see the depth and pain behind his actions#but idk maybe that’s just me#deadpool#deadpool 2#wade wilson#vanessa carlysle
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Meme dump yayyy🥳✨️
(off to make more now muhahaha >:3)
#SIGH WHERE HAD LILI DISAPPEARED TO THIS TIME? TSK TSK SMH 😔#Now now my dearest darling loyal subjects fret not~!!#your beloved princess shall answer all your worries away ~★#mwah mwah~<3#heh~🤭🩷#Soooo updated time!!! >_<#I'm on a road trip halfway across the country rn (was a fun bad idea..my cousins and I nearly had a heat stroke TWICE but it's soo worth it#...I'll hopefully be back by tonight because it's my grandfather's birthday tomorrow and we're planning a surprise party for him#Muhahaha >:3#* happy dances*#Anyways I had time to kill between crying while playing mystic messenger together with my cousin#(I'm making her do Saeran's route sjbqbjjbqjbqbj9ioqjqhiqohwu9wh9uwub I LOVE HIM I ADORE HIM HE WAS THE FIRST CHARACTER I EVER WANTED TO#MARRY HE IS SO DREAM HUSBAND CODED SIJSB8YWBUW MY POOR POOR SWEET ANGEL BABY YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER#THE WORLD DOES NOT DESERVE YOU AAHHHIHSIHAIJIAJ AND OMG HIS ENDING SONG IT ALWAYS MAKES ME CRY SJOBSOJHJSH0SSUS0SSHU0IS0HISH0IS0JHSHJS0HIS0#EVEN IF YOU WERE AN EXPIRED LOLIPOP I'D STILL EAT YOU!! I'D ALWAYS EAT YOU AND ONLY YOU NO MATTER WHAT#I-I MEAN PICK YOU!!! I'D ALWAYS PICK YOU NO MATTER WHAT!! NOT TO SAY THAT I WOULDN'T CANNIBALISE YOU!!#GIVE ME THE CHANCE AND I'D LICK YOU UP I WON'T LEAVE A SINGLE DROP BEHIND O-OF THE LOLIPOP OF OFC NOT TO SAY I WOULDN'T DO THE SAME IF IT#WAS HIS C- I'LL STOP MUST CONTROL I CAN'T WRITE ESSAYS HERE OF HOW MUCH I LOVE AND WANT SAERAN AHHHH MY HEART🥺🩷🩷😭😭)#*cough cough*sooo anywho I'm normal now dw!!😇✨️ (/lie)#and us reading ORV (I'm on chapter 340 something rn and kdj is kdj and i just want to soksjnss9hsj9sbu that stupid squid (/affectionate)#and if I start ranting rn it would never end...#so expect like a 80000 words essay when I'm done with the full novel🫠)#I cleared out my phone gallery yayyy heh🥳🤭 and found so many RH memes that I never posted lmao#Oh!!! And I've noticed something even though I'm a Vin girly through and through#(as evidenced by the fact that my blog is quite literally a shrine to him)#I always end up making Crux memes more...That stupid green onion clown you're so easy to love😔🩷#Anyways Lili out now mwah mwah mwah 🩷🩷🫂✨️#♡{reanimated heart}♡#reanimated heart#reanimatedheart
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To be honest I am a huge Nalu shipper. But the thing is I want to know the difference between the way Natsu cares about his guildmates and Lucy. Like what is the obvious difference since that boy sees every as Nakama so how can we say that the wag he cares about Lucy is different?
Like even when Erza passed away? (All the way back in first season there was a segment where the guild was gathered at her grave and all) Natsu was still very reactive. Plus he was also said to be depressed even when Lisanna passed.
What's the difference between all of them and Lucy?
the fact that he stayed. the fact that before he met Lucy, Natsu wasn't one to stay in a group or even want to work with anyone besides Happy at the start of the story. hell, he was ready to just file Lucy down as "New Guildmate" once they reached Fairy Tail
but then, Lucy doesn't leave. she follows him on his mission to save Macao despite her not needing to or even really understanding everything about it. she stays and then fights with him and saves him. it's no secret that Natsu is strong and can take care of himself really well. he's been going on solo missions for years now, and no one has really stopped him, but that means he's been in a lot of sticky situations where he and Happy are on their own and have no backup. and yet, without asking, Lucy offers it
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and i think this is the moment when Natsu considers that maybe it's okay to have someone there to have his back (sans Happy)
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"but Natsu only needed Lucy for the next quest because of the requirements," well, Natsu also wouldn't have taken or even considered that quest if it weren't for Lucy, yeah? he was not a team player (in the picking job's sense) or really wanted other people to help him on his quests sans Happy. and then he goes and picks a job that caters to their team whilst ensuring that Lucy can't say no
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or maybe i'm reading too much into it 🤷🏻♀️
or maybe Natsu's got horrible abandonment issues that he will latch onto people so fast (Igneel & Lisanna) but also cause him to distance himself so far when left behind (his 1st time at the guild, Lisanna's death). Erza and Gray are Natsu's closet friends after Lisanna and yet they cannot reach him when he closes himself off. and then we have Lucy, who stuck by and had his back, so who is to say Natsu didn't make some contingencies to ensure whether or not she'd join him?
but maybe it's the rose, colored ship glasses i have on
because yeah, Natsu cares for all of his guildmates. the power of friendship is his biggest motivator. when we meet Natsu, our first introductions of him is defending his guild's reputation from Bora (who was using it as a guise for human trafficking) and saving Macao. and our 1st big arc (Galuna Island), where Natsu adamantly refuses to allow Gray to use Ice Shell and sacrifice himself despite how antagonistic they've been to each other. we get Natsu 100% at Erza's defense throughout the Tower of Heaven and he is even ready to defend Wendy though they only met hours ago
Natsu is a character with a bleeding heart and cannot help but wear it on his sleeve, but we don't really see him allow others to fight his battles or have his back until Lucy comes in. to be honest, i don't even think he had his heart on his sleeve until Lucy. he still has a bleeding heart (i don't think anything could stop that), but he was not ready to be open in receiving company because he was so used to it being ripped away from him
that being said: of all the characters he interacts with, he finds Lucy to be someone compatible enough for him to start going on team missions and inviting her on them (for example, his 1st S-class mission, which he stole, he went to her house to show it to her. the fact that part of the reward was a celestial key might be a coincidence, but i wouldn't doubt it as Natsu and Happy's trump card in case she refused)
but yeah, the difference is that he stayed and didn't push her away at the beginning, but instead continued to invite her along with him to the point that doing a mission without Lucy wasn't his regular anymore. compared to the rest of the guild, of whom he spent most of his childhood with, even if he spoke to no one, they would still be around and talk to him anyway. he might not invite them on job and only challenge them to fights, but the guild is his home and a constant in his life, a constant he needs (bc heavy abandonment issues).
"okay, but he still pushed her away after he watched Igneel die right in front of him. and he left the guild for a whole year, too. so what's the difference there?" you may ask.
so 1) Natsu never thought the guild would disband. he returns to Fiore after a year and is the last to know that they disbanded. he assumed, like all the other times before and while he and others were sealed for 7 years, that Fairy Tail would still be there when he returned. he assumed that his disappearance would not impact so hard because the guild would still be around and Lucy would have the others with her
which, did not happen :)
and like, so many guild members go off on jobs, quests, or even just leave for an indiscriminate amount of time (which i, personally, believe was his rationality for leaving), so him being gone for a year was nothing! right? no harm, eh? his plan was never to be gone forever :))))
2) he just watched his father die and lose any chance of having some semblance of a long term reunion with Igneel. he literally lost one of his main driving motivations for getting stronger and taking jobs. before Fairy Tail, before anyone, it was Igneel. and to learn that a) Igneel was always with him to begin with and b) he only got to see him for less than a day after 14 years of nothing......i would feel lost too ngl
man's needed space from everybody. and he also needed comfort, but Natsu has been shown not to really be the character who asks to receive comfort (and when he does receive it, it's usually when he's already emotionally compromised). he is in the habit of shutting people out after being abandoned or losing someone close to him, with his next rationale being to "get stronger" in order to prevent what happened in the past to ever happen in the future.
anyway
what makes this different? well for one, he sent the letter only to Lucy (or it's implied since no one else is shown getting one) because of how the two spend most of their time together. even the line that goes with the panel makes it sound like Natsu is unsure on how the note will be received (maybe even hesitant? but that could be my own hopes)
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and one of the 1st people he reunites with after a year is Lucy and we get such a similar parallel to the first chapter of Fairy Tail between the two as if the narrative itself is slotting them together to say "ah yes, now everything is back to normal and new journeys can begin"
but yeah, this is just a long way of saying, that Natsu does love his friends and guildmates but even when he is close to them, he kept to himself (and Happy) and sort of stayed in their orbit but always with some emotional distance because of his fear of abandonment. and then you have Lucy where he will stay for and allow her to orbit around him and he will invite to new adventures no questions asked
that's the difference
#this is 100% unrelated but reading the older chapters had me realize how Cana's hair is a lot curlier than in the anime#my girlie's waves got straightened T^T and they were so gorgeous too#also love the translator's notes at the end of each volume <3#fill me with so much joy and why they chose to go in what direction for each translation#this post is longer than i thought oops#like i was gonna leave it at 'bc Natsu stayed for her' and then be done#but no i can't just leave it there and not back it up#also me saying Natsu stayed for Lucy is not me trying to undermine his other relationships in the guild#Natsu's bonds with Fairy Tail are the very core of this story so to say that he loved any of his guildmates less would not be right#his love for Lucy is different#it started the same but shifted as the arcs progressed#his priorities with her are different than they are with his friends and guildmates despite being on a fairly even level#fun fact! i started writing this 6 hours ago. had class. got distracted w/ old ft plot while searching for manga panels. and now we're here#btw: this is not excusing Natsu's act of leaving without so much of a warning. this is just explaining his personal rationale and emotions.#ofc Lucy was right to feel upset and betrayed for being left behind by Natsu and then to be alone bc the guild disbanded. i would too!#but we aren't talking about that. we're talking about what makes Natsu's feelings for Lucy different from the rest of the guild#also sorry i got a little lazy with the manga panels after the first couple T^T and mayhaps distracted (rereading Igneel's death is sO fun!#fairy tail#natsu dragneel#nalu#fairy tail nalu#ft meta#also like how natsu loves is very open and through action#no matter whether its familial or platonic or romantic#how he shows it is the same fierce protectiveness and attentiveness#personally i see natsu's love being in equal fervor for all. none really trump over the other. they're just different
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Marissa, victimized by an infection
I came up with the concept of an infected Marissa who could become a secret boss in the game
When you come to her for the first time, she behaves as usual and asks you to listen to her song. You sit down in your seat, listen, she thanks you, and you leave. However, if you don't convert her into essence right away, the next time you visit her, she changes her appearance a little, and again asks you to listen to her sing, a little more insistently. As a result, with each of your visits, the signs that she is infected will become more obvious, and she will ask you to stay more and more intrusive, until finally she wants you to listen to her forever, and then the boss fight will happen
I think the Radiance captured her mind with bright memories of her beloved city and its inhabitants, now stricken by the plague, of her bright concerts and former glory, and of close friends who disappeared, were infected or were preparing to fall asleep forever. Most likely, she died possessed by these visions, and her ghost, who remained on the stage, unaware of his death, was also possessed
#Infected Marissa is like WOW#I was watching the passage of some newbie who had a boss waiting on every corner#And he thought that Marissa's location also leads to the boss and I'm like#WOOOOOW#I want this damn thing#Marissa's reaction to the player's departure would have started from grateful to frankly annoyed that he was leaving#Why can't you just stay and listen to me forever???#Is my singing not good enough for you???#Did everyone else leave because I wasn't good enough???#If I rip off your legs and rip out your eyes you'll have no choice but to listen to me.#/and the aggressive vocals begin/ the soundtrack is purely from her voice/#Maybe in the process of fighting as always we would break the surrounding things#And behind them would be the corpses of beetles without legs and eyes which had not been seen before#hollow knight#hk#hollow khight marissa#hk marissa#hk boss
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My pillars of eternity journal part.. 3! (here's 1 and 2)
there's so many cool locations and moments in this game i struggle to pick which ones to draw... Twin Elms is really pretty.
Tried a couple new things and adding some color for accent >:) let me know what you think!
#i recruited the grieving mother and hiravias but ended up leaving them behind cuz i just can't choose which one of my companions to replace!#i wish i could go with everyone but alas...#my art#fan art#pillars of eternity#poe#game journal#video game journal#video game journaling#game journaling#crpg#rpg#traditional art#pallegina#aloth#i really botched the hiravias and grieving mother portraits thats why they are not here#but the grieving mother design and character is so cool... i wish i drew her more i was just feeling lazy during that part :(#digital art#both at the same time wow#poe journal#PoE journal
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"omfg I need to let go of my only friend who's slowly moving on from me and has better friends"
*proceeds to not let go of her only friend who's slowly moving on from her and has better friends*
#I'm sorry for venting but I'm too much of a coward to actually tell her it#like#wdym nobody listens to you yapping#abiut your special interests#or crushes#or friends#or problems#I DO#I'VE ALWAYS BEEN#AND YOU'VE TOLD ME HOW I'M YOUR “ONLY FRIEND”#BEFORE LEAVING ME ON DELIVERED TO CHAT WITH YOUR FIRST GROUPCHAT AND THEN ANOTHER AND THEN YOUR BEST FRIEND WHO YOU'VE KNOWN FOR FOUR MONTHS#WHILE YOU KNOW ME FOR 9 YEARS#HOW MANY TIMES YOU LET OTHER CLASSMATES TALK BEHIND MY BACK#AND CALL ME “WANNABE EMO” OR “LOSER” OR “WEIRD” JUST BECAUSE I PREFERRED TO READ INSTEAD OF VAPE#(BEFORE FUCKING SAYING HOW MUCH YOU HATE VAPES. IN PRIVATE#WITH ME)#AND HOW MANY TIMES I TOLD YOU I WANNA GO OUT BECAUSE MY MOM FINALLY AGREED JUST FOR YOU TO SAY YOU CAN'T AND THEN GO OUT WITH ANOTHER FRIEND#dear god#and now I'm making you seem like a bad person#but you're not#and i know you're a great friend and a good person#maybe just not for me#or i don't appreciate you#i dont know
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Frannie, you are in over your head. Meaning? Meaning, guys like him don't marry girls like you. That's fairy tale. And girls like you get hurt, and guys like him don't even know it, and that's life.
#due south#ray vecchio#francesca vecchio#benton fraser#oof the way you can see the truth of this hit ray so hard#good for frannie for saying all of this and sticking up for herself because ray was being an unfair jerk#especially since he was projecting his own fears and insecurities about losing fraser and taking it out on frannie#ray's behavior here only makes sense to me if he's acting out of jealousy#because he doesn't seem the type to get involved in his siser's love life (unless she's being harmed in some way)#and what he says about fraser directly contradicts what we know ray actually thinks about him#i can't imagine ray sees fraser as the type to 'love 'em and leave 'em for lack of a better phrase. he knows he's not like that#ray is the one in over his head and worried about being left heartbroken (and not being good enough for fraser to stick around for)#if fraser was involved with frannie; ray loses ever getting a chance with him either way whether it works out or not#if the potential relationship worked out ray would have to sit by and watch the man he loves be with his sister#and if it doesn't work out (which it likely wouldn't lbr) he loses his frienship as well because it would never be the same after#and the fact remains that fraser will likely go back to canada one day and leave ray behind#and not realize just how much it will hurt ray when he goes#AND FRASER IS LISTENING TO ALL OF THIS#HE'S JUST ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLASS#THE PERSON RAY DREAMS ABOUT#SO CLOSE BUT STILL OUT OF REACH#i can't with them#frannie is the only brave one here i love her#ds30below
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I hope Sabine named her Lothcat "Zeb"
#and that he is on the ship with them#you can't leave your cat behind sabine pls be a responsible pet owner#I need him to sleep on Ahsoka's bed and bother her#ahsoka#ahsoka spoilers#I guess?#is sabine having a lothcat a spoiler
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