#and i can't even talk to kids at all because like i KNOW i'm in an adult body i do not have to be told not to talk to kids i get it.

[apatheticsunday]

Mistaken Identities

AKA twisting the "Batfam talking about a random civilian, not knowing they're actually talking about the same person" trope, but it's the Batfam under the impression Dan, Dani, and Danny are the same person.

Because the Batfam are so incredibly smart!! Their pattern recognition is off the charts: obviously, they're going to notice when somebody named Danny keeps popping up in conversation. It doesn't help that when somebody recounts something "Danny" did, it really does sound like their Danny. Plus, what are the chances that there are three people named "Danny" who are all Meta??

"Dan threw a trash can at one of Two Face's goons today," Jason says fondly. They're at family dinner and he's still thinking about it.

Tim nods because Danny quite literally threw a chair at the Riddler during a hostage situation, like, two nights ago.

"Dani bit a man's finger off on Tuesday." Damian adds, also thinking of the memory fondly. The man in question had been trying to coax Dani into slipping through Gotham Academy's gate during recess, wiggling his hand in her face. She'd promptly latched on and two teachers had to pull her off him. Damian offered his silk handkerchief for her to spit the man's index finger into.

"That's not even the worst thing Danny did this week," Tim mutters. To be fair, it was an accident and Danny apologized profusely; he'd even bought Tim an apology coffee with six shots of espresso. That doesn't mean he enjoys his friend's hand accidentally phasing straight through his stomach. It feels like being gut-punched by Mr. Frost's ice guns.

At Jason and Damian's intrigued expressions, Tim just says, "The phasing thing." A shared, empathetic "ah" echoes around the table.

Because everybody knows about the phasing thing.

Dani rummaging around for her pencil case in her bookbag and accidentally walking straight through Damian. He'd been mostly desensitized to hypothermic shock due to the League of Assassins waterboarding and cold water training, but he still had to stand in the boy's bathroom with his hands under warm water for a solid fifteen minutes. Meanwhile Dani was blubbering apologies and trying to get him to wear extra pairs of socks she'd picked out of the Lost & Found.

Jason, thankfully, has never experienced it personally. But he has seen Dan phase his hand into a serial rapist's chest, squeeze something that makes the man wheeze like a squeaky dog toy, and growl, "Next time, I'm taking this with me." He hadn't killed the man - a promise, Dan said, he'd made with this little snot-nosed brat.

("Danny has a kid?" Tim sputters, nearly spilling his coffee all over the Batcomputer. Jason shrugs. It's just the two of them working on this case and they don't have the best relationship, so conversation topics tend to stay on safe subjects. Like their favorite civilian.

"I guess that makes sense. He mentioned a kid named Ellie. I assumed he was talking about his little sister or something." Tim muses after a moment. Tim's thinking about the lanky, boisterous boy from his Anthropology class who can't remember to bring a pen to class. That Danny has a kid??

Meanwhile, Jason's thinking of this brick shithouse of a guy making Black Mask's gang piss themselves just by hearing his Trademark Evil Laugh. It's not super surprising; after all, most of Jason's goons are parents, despite the violence they dole out on the daily.)

So, Jason, Tim, and Damian all nod in solidarity.

Cue more miscommunication!!

Maybe months down the line, they're at a family dinner when Duke just goes, "Wait, why was Danny at Gotham Academy? I thought he goes to Gotham-U?"

Damian glares as if Duke's stupidity is incredibly offensive. His scathing reply is: "Obviously, Dani was at Gotham Academy because she is enrolled in the seventh grade, Thomas."

Jason chokes on a piece of steak and Tim accidentally inhales his coffee (decaf, at the insistence of Alfred).

(Bonus points if everybody besides the Robins knew months ago, but deliberately chose not to say anything because it's just too funny.)

[theclockwitch]

Yes but no. We THROW money at K-12 and I regularly teach high school graduates, many who tell me they were A students, who cannot read above the third grade level. These are not my 'special services' students, these are the neurotypical normie kids.

It's not money we need as much as accountability.

Example: I tell students up front that there are two ways to fail my class, and basically only 2. Cheat or don't hand in the major assignments.

We're two major assignments in and this one kid has handed in nothing. I go up to him in class this week and I'm like...so...you still have time to withdraw from the class if you've got stuff going on and can't do your best work (you know, the whole spiel) and he looks me in the eyes and says 'you'll pass me' and I'm like...no?

And then he said that this was how he did high school and he always passed and if I didn't pass him I was a bad teacher.

I can't fight that. I can't win against that.

He's going to fail, he's going to go to the dean and complain that I was mean or whatever, and he will lose, of course, because I can prove he handed in NOTHING but still. He is typical of the normies.

Y'all on tumblr forget one thing: YOU"RE NOT NORMIES. You read and write and think at a higher level than the average American. I'm not saying this to blow smoke up your asses or anything, but to say that your instinct to say 'oh no that wouldn't happen that isn't happening if it is it's an outlier'--YOU CANNOT DO THAT because you do not know. When we're young and in school we think everyone is like us--everyone's trying their hardest at school and wants to excel. We were all wrong.

There was a scandal in Maryland a few years ago where like literally 2 kids in the entire school were doing grade level appropriate math by state test scores. And mind you, these state tests have been modified to be easier after COVID for political reasons (CC insists that if you don't pass a certain percentage of students, you lose your federal funding so there's a huge incentive to boost scores and grad rates, which is how I get illiterate college sophomores). TWO. TONS of money thrown at the schools, but where the fuck is it going?

I haven't even touched on how unsafe schools are these days and no I'm not talking school shootings. I mean we have violent kids mainstreamed in classes. I had a student last semester who would throw pencils every time he got frustrated, and he got frustrated by...basic questions. Every student in that classroom learned essentially NOTHING because we were all on edge for when Volcano Joe was going to blow again.

Cut 50% of administration, pull all mandatory curriculum out and let teachers teach, kick out the disruptive kids and let schools be safe places IN ALL ASPECTS for learning and growing. Money is almost NEVER the fucking answer. Not when you've created a system that can be gamed by administrators and students alike.

obsessed with how fixable society is, on a structural level.

obsessed with how all you need to do is throw money at public education and eliminate most standardized testing and you will start getting smarter, more engaged, kinder adults. obsessed with how giving people safe housing, reliable access to good food, and decent wages dramatically reduces drug overdoses and gun violence. obsessed with how much people actually want to get together and fix infrastructure, invent new ways of helping each other, and create global ways of living sustainably once you give them livable pay to do so. obsessed with how tracking diseases, developing medicines, and improving public health becomes so much easier when you just make healthcare free at point of use.

obsessed with how easy it all becomes, if we can just figure out how to wrench the wealth out of the hands of the hoarders.

[aithusarosekiller]

You know how ghosts are stuck the way they died? Imagine if regulus became a ghost and he was permanently stuck with a torn up face, hazed over eyes, and coughing up water that isn't even there anymore. He's always just...choking and digging his nails into his palms, struggling to ever get a word out

Because that would be so cool when the order moved in. For ages it had just been Kreacher looking after him (as much as you can look after a ghost) and regulus watching him continually fail to destroy the locket. Sirius isn't there for long before he starts inviting the entire order in so he doesn't even know there's a ghost inside the house. He tries to stay hidden for a while by staying in the attic or in his own room because for some reason it's one of the only places they aren't trying to renovate? (He doesn't know that Sirius explicitly told them not to touch that room)

Dumbledore is the first to know he is there. Regulus picks up the habit of eavesdropping and one day he's listening in and hears dumbledore pause and say 'you can come in'. He looks around but there is nobody there. He waits. 'I'm talking to you, yes. Come in, please, there is little a ghost can do to sabotage our strategy.' He realises that he is talking to him just as the door opens and he's met with a sea of shocked faces, including tonks, who had been the one to open the door. Dumbledore may have called him in but Severus is the first person to recognise him. Sirius doesn't, which hurts a little but he rolls his eyes (in his mind, it hurts too much to actually move them) and tries to forget it. Besides, it's not like Alastor, Remus, Molly, Kingsley, or any of the others recognised him that quickly

It takes Severus standing up and saying 'Black, we weren't expecting you' for people to begin to catch on to what was happening, including Albus. His face is so destroyed and unrecognisable that even when it has been said, people take a moment to realise that this grotesque shimmering blue figure is supposed to be the well-cared-for, wealthy, strong young warrior they had known or heard of.

He almost instantly starts choking and stumbling and Severus lurches forward a little to help before realising that there's nothing they can do but wait. When Regulus recovers he tries to smile out of awkwardness but it hurts and looks ghastly. Everybody wants to ask what happened to him but they seem to be afraid to. They soon realise that either he cannot talk due to the physical damage to his face or he can speak but it makes him choke and hurts too much to be worth it

After that, hes allowed to sit in on order meetings and technically he can go around the house as he wishes but in reality it isn't that simple. Molly is always trying to keep the kids far away from him and he can't exactly blame her. He's scary to look at and he used to be a member of murder cult. He couldn't even articulate why anybody should believe that he wasn't still a loyal death eater but it seemed that the rumour people had taken to was that he'd died a coward. Maybe it wasn't to far from the truth. The others don't really talk to him because they either don't know him or don't trust him. Remus speaks to him once. Severus tries to connect with him as best as he can. Alastor clearly does not want him around, he never looks away from him.

Sirius joins him in his room occasionally, they just sit in relative silence unless Sirius feels like talking. He'll say something along the lines of 'you look worse than me when I got out of Azkaban' or 'what happened to you, kid?' and regulus would have a choking fit and that would be it, back to silence.

The only time he talks is the time he approaches Sirius for the first time. It's during breakfast and other people are already down so they have a small audience. He walks into the kitchen, looking around to see how everybody is doing. He starts to choke and feels his limbs fail him. It's like drinking the potion all over again and he'll never get used to it. Sirius and Bill try to talk in order to bring him down from it and afterwards, he's curled in the corner like a scared animal, looking g up at them through dripping hair. He looks right at Sirius, manages to say 'I'm sorry', then starts to choke again

[howi99]

The nest chapter 1

(a "prologue" to from the nest)

13 years ago

Raven: *rubbing her eyes with exasperation* For the last time, Qrow, i won't come back. Summer is happy, Taiyang finally has someone who can be there for him-

Qrow: *cutting her* And your daughter won't know who her real mother is. *Sigh* I'm not even asking you to come back under Ozpin, but don't you think she deserves to know you exist?

Raven: *rolling her eyes* And for what? So that she can be connected to me? So that if someone wants to hurt me, they can go after her? *Shaking her head* No, she deserves better than this. I might be the one who birthed her, but summer is tenfold the mother i could ever dream to be.

Qrow: *annoyed* How can you be sure you'd be that awful of a mother if you only spent a year with her? You were so happy when she was born, so what changed!?

Raven: *glaring at Qrow* What changed? Nothing changed! *Gritting her teeth* We are Branwen, Qrow! *Taking a deep breath* You might have forgotten, but do you remember why we went to Beacon in the first place?

Qrow: *scoff* To learn aura to become stronger-

Raven: *slamming her hand on the table* No! That's just the excuse we used to leave! *Tightening her fists* We were supposed to change this place! To try finding something else, ANYTHING else, that we could do, instead of pillaging village after village, scrapping by like starved dogs! *Sigh, exhausted* But decades of violence can't be erased by just us two.

Qrow: *sigh* Ray-

Raven: They were dying, Qrow. During our time at the academy, we forgot how hard it was for our family. *Looking back at her brother* I can't leave them to die for a war i never heard of, for the interest of the same people who killed our family without a care in the world!

Qrow: *snapping* Then maybe they deserved it! I can't remember a single good thing happening in this god forsaken tribe! All i can remember is training all day and killing innocent people!

Raven: *grabbing him by the shirt* I KNOW THAT ALREADY! BUT DO YOU THINK THE KIDS DESERVED IT TOO? I-

4yo Jaune: *entering the tent, looking confusedly at Qrow* ... *Shaking his head, focusing back on Raven* Train me!

Qrow: *looking at the kid, then at Raven multiple times* ... Who- *focusing on Raven* Does Taiyang Know-

Raven: *sigh, releasing him* He's not mine, that's just Isabelle and Jacques's son. He keeps coming to my tent even when i kick him out.

Qrow: ... You kick him?

Raven: *rolling her eyes* Not literally, i'm not our dad!

4yo Jaune: *walking towards Raven, hugging her* Aunty, train me!

Qrow: *shocked* A-Aunty!?

Raven: *Blushing slightly* J-Jaune, today i really can't teach you. G-go play with Vernal-

4yo Jaune: *frowning* But she's mean! She keeps bullying me because she's taller, i want to defend myself like you!

Raven: Jaune-

4yo Jaune: *star in his eyes* Like you did when you helped those faunus against the grimms!

Raven: *sigh, patting his head* Can you wait 10 minutes then? *Smiling gently* I just need to finish talking with my guest, ok?

4yo Jaune: *turning to Qrow* ... *Wince* He smells like the meanies you threw out of the tribe.

Raven: *chuckle* I know. Now, move along, i'll be there in a bit.

4yo Jaune: *beaming* Ok! *Leave the tent*

Qrow: ...

Raven: *sigh* Those kids don't deserve the life we had. I know you think they aren't worth it but-

Qrow: *sigh, shaking his head* No, you're right. I spent too much time away from here, i completely forgot about the kids... *Frown* He seemed malnourished.

Raven: *looking down* His family is too big. Seven sisters... it's a lot of mouths to feed.

Qrow: ... Have you tried teaching him how to forage? That might help him a bit, along with the other kids.

Raven: *small smirk* What do you take me for, an idiot? He may look weak, but i can assure you that he's a lot better than before.

[khaoala]

Lore request number 1847389291 (sorry I've been asking so much lmao new som som trying my best to catch up) what happened at firsts graduation I saw that hug and that kt almost didn't go but no details help? Pls?

anon, first of all, feel free to send fk lore questions whenever you like. i'll try to give as much context as i can, and people also add things in, and it's a blast, i love when these come in.

second of all, i'm so very glad you're making me talk about first's graduation. it's probably one of my favorite firstkhao moments.

first's graduation (he has a bachelor's degree in cyber business management and graduated with honors, he's that guy) happened on december 15, 2021, so two weeks after the announcement of the eclipse during gmmtv 2022. this event is what we (or at least i do) like to call "the event that inspired the plot of our skyy 2 x the eclipse" because it's basically what happened 😏😏

as you can imagine, graduating is a very important moment and in thailand they do this thing a lot of holding fan gatherings when an artist graduates and many of their friends come to congratulate them too (like when earth, firstkhao and arm went to mix's graduation last year).

first had a lot people over to see him. besides his family members, ofc, first's favorite bruda (tay tawan) attended, gawin, ciize, louis, love, nanon and many many others.

but khaotung, being the rascal that he is, told first that something came up and that he wouldn't be able to attend first's graduation which made first properly sulky. i'm not even kidding. they were all using masks ofc because 2021, covid, all that shit, but we know mr. kanaphan to have amazingly expressive eyes and baby boy looked so sad and pouty because his best friend said he wouldn't attend (tumblr doesn't let me post more than one video, but i'll link you to the videos and the graduation tag so you can check out his contained tantrum in the end of this post).

at some point when ciize (who is the founder of this fandom, may i add, since when they were just a ghostship, she was already in the trenches) approached first, and he was talking in the phone with khaotung and first offered her the phone and she asked "what did you do to make him so angry, khaotung?!"

ofc khaotung was just joking and ofc he wouldn't miss his best friend's graduation. he showed up and i kid you not, it was like first's sunny disposition came back to him in a blink. ofc, he was still annoyed bc khaotung fooled him and there were many instances where it looked like he was going to hit khaotung, but khaotung knows his baby bestie and stayed by his side all the time. there were a few moments when first would be talking to other people but his hand would stay around khaotung (there's one particular video of them talking to what i believe is one of the staff, and while first's eyes are on them, he keeps caressing khaotung's back absentmindedly because the next thing we assume happens is that first scolded khaotung - again - for pranking him).

khaotung was having a blast that day playing around with first. and first was also trying to look nonchalant at some point which was so adorable. you know how in the end of our skyy 2, after ayan's surprise to akk and how he says, "i told you i loved seeing you get pranked. when you make an angry face, you look so… (cute)". that is firstkhaotung during first's graduation.

you can search the tag #FirstkpGraduation on twitter where you'll find many more videos and pictures and here's the links to some of my favorite videos since i can't post them here:

[ link one ] [ link two ] [ link three ] [ link four ] [ link five ] [ link six ]

[quihi]

I think there's two ways of looking at this.

The short answer is: They could, but it's a lot of work and often some money and they'd prefer someone else do the work. I can't even blame them for that, really, because I also prefer appreciating others' hard work, and I also have select changes my idealized AO3 would make (saved filters, mainly, but I've got other opinions too).

The long answer is that for better or for worse, it's 2025 and not 2005 or 1995 and teenagers weren't even alive for the internet of 2005, let alone experiencing it. The internet is extremely centralized now, and most social activity happens on a handful of websites. Most teenagers don't know anyone who runs their own website; neocities is not comparably famous to geocities, and even something like dreamwidth which is easy to use and has basic privacy controls isn't super popular or well-known. It's no longer essential that everyone learn a bit of HTML and CSS so people haven't. There's a lack of awareness that creating a little website to post fic is something anyone can do (though if they're still making carrds, that is similar). The prevalence of 18+ spaces and spaces that are mostly or all teens (I have no statistics on this) probably makes this worse because you don't have a lot of kids talking to the people who did fandom twenty years ago. And personal sites really are a worse option in many ways; there's a reason people who've made their own websites also use AO3, and little distributed sites aren't as convenient for posting and finding and reading and commenting on fic as AO3 is. As for running larger archives as a team, they are a lot more work, and my understanding is that eFiction hasn't really been a good option for years, and the AO3 software is not easy to set up, and, well, I hope this new project catches on.

I'm not a huge complainer, and I'm not a teenager anymore, so maybe I shouldn't try to guess at why teens don't create their own spaces more. Maybe they are just lazy and want the world to cater to them. But I inevitably try to empathize with everyone and I've already written this, so, there we go.

god keep ur fucking kink meme shit out of ao3 tag y'all make this fandom even more insufferable than it already is and thats saying something!!! The kind of shit y'all post require a fucking trigger warning it doesnt belong in a safe space

[vodika-vibes]

Okay so I had a thought.

So imagine—

You work at the Senate, your job is important but you're one of a dozen people who do this job day in and day out. And somehow—miraculously—you've managed to catch Fox's eye.

And it's great! Fantastic even! He's kind and considerate and completely devoted to you and your happiness, which is great, because you're just as devoted to him.

There is one, little bitty problem.

You don't get paid enough.

Oh sure, you've made it work, with some heavy budgeting, but Fox doesn't get paid. So if you want nice-ish dates you have to pay for then.

Which, again, is fine. He's worth it, but it does leave your end of the month bank account looking at little...bare.

So, what are your options?

You could ask for a raise, but you'd get laughed out of your boss' office.

You've never been much of a crafter, so a side hustle like that is out.

And you respect Fox too much to even consider any kind of sex work. Not that you have anything against it, but you'd want to talk to him about it first, and you absolutely do not want him to know about your money issues. So that's out, too.

And you've never been good at gambling, so that's off the table, too.

So you think and think, and then you remember. There's an underground, very illegal, fighting club that accepts participants of all ages, genders, species, and skill level. And the pay is very, very good.

You did martial arts as a kid. And only stopped when you were in college because of a lack of time, so you might have a chance of winning a bout or two. And if you're careful, Fox will never find out about your illegal fights.

You win your first fight, and the next three after that. Earning enough to go on several dates with Fox and have money left over for your rainy day fund. And so, the fights become a regular thing, once or twice a week.

You win more than you lose, but you do lose every now and then. So you have to learn to treat your injuries before Fox can see them. His head might very well explode if he knew you were fighting for money.

But Lady Luck has never favored you, and it was only after a matter of time before the club ended up getting raided by the Corries.

Which is how Fox finds you, sitting in a holding cell with several of the other fighters, all of you several different types of beat up. You have an ice pack pressed against your eye and a split lip, and when Fox stands there and stares at you, you can't look him in the eyes.

"I...can explain?" You offer hesitantly, not actually sure you can explain.

"With me." Fox's words are clipped as he let's you out of the cell, and you trot after him.

"Are you mad?"

"No."

"Are you sure? Because you're using your 'I'm mad but I'm trying not to show it' voice."

He pushes his office door open, "In."

You slump, "Yeah, you're mad."

He slams the door shut behind you, and motions for you to sit in a chair, before he plucks the ice pack off your eye, "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I like fighting!" You blurt out, a blatant lie that he doesn't believe for a second.

"Try again."

"Uhm..." he arches a brow, and you look away, "I needed the money."

"For what? What's so important that you had to put yourself in harm's way to get money for?"

"I...stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Stuff."

"If you don't tell me the truth I'm going to assume you're cheating on me." Fox says bluntly.

"I would never!"

"So tell me."

"I...can't afford our dates."

He blinks. Twice. And then leans back slightly, "Come again?"

"I don't get paid a lot and my apartment is expensive and I can't afford your dates but you're important enough that I want to keep going on them, so...fighting."

"You...are the dumbest smart person I've ever met." Fox finally says, "Why didn't you say anything?"

You shrug, "Didn't want you to worry or whatever."

"So you made me worry more?"

"...I didn't say it was a good idea. Just the only feasible one I had."

He sighs, "I love you, but I'm so mad right now."

"Fair."

"No more cage matches. No more fighting. Promise me."

"I promise."

"We can work out something different for our dates. And next time, just talk to me. Please."

"Yeah. Yeah. Can I go home now?"

"No."

"...what?"

"You're going back to the holding cell."

"WHAT?"

"You're spending the night. You'll be released in the morning. Just like everyone else."

"I...but...Fox!"

"Thems the rules, cyare. Here's your ice pack back."

You stare at him, speechless. But he just smiles at you as he motions for Thire to return you to the holding cell.

[cyberphuck]

Hey kids, Jaydee here with an important message for driving in the Spring: Don't Drive Through Water If you can see the water is moving, or if the water is enough that you can't see the surface of the asphalt, Do Not Drive Through It. Literally no excuse anyone can make changes this advice. There is no caveat, there is no "what if," there is no "it's only okay if you." Never Drive Through Water, Ever. "It's not a lot of water/ it's not moving fast yet" Fun fact, it takes a hilariously small amount of water on the road to move your car. I'm not talking about the vehicle floating away, I'm talking about hydroplaning, which is when all four of your tires leave the surface of the road. At that point you are no longer in control of your vehicle and you don't get to decide which way you go. This can happen no matter how slow you are going. Where's the water flowing? Down that embankment? Now you're going down the embankment too. "I know this road/I know when it's safe and when it isn't" You don't! You don't know anything. The road may look fine up top but if there's water going over it, water might be going under it, too. Guess who's going down the embankment again! Maybe that pothole that always fills up in the rain's gotten WAY bigger in the past few days and you're not gonna notice until you're face down ass up in it. Maybe you'll just hit that pothole hard enough to pop a tire, bend the rim, fuck up your alignment, and ruin your day! "Four wheel drive, baby!/Lifted truck, fuck yeah" Not only can I speak from personal experience that 4WD will not stop you from skidding across the highway in the rain, there are countless amusing videos online of Dumbfucks In Trucks trying to cross flooded roads and getting stuck. Sometimes the whole truck flips as an extra spice, even if the water isn't moving! "It's just ponding on the sides of the road" Did know plowing into a puddle at car-speeds can cause damage to your car's engine, electronics, wheels and chassis? You ask any mechanic how many cars they get in with flood damage from 'just ponding.' "I have to!" You don't have to. "No, I really HAVE to, I have no choice, this road floods all the time but I have to get to work SOMEhow!" Okay so there are three choices here: 1. Drive over the water anyway and die, 2. Don't drive over the water which is what this post is about, or 3. Keep an eye on the weather and make preparations ahead of time so that you don't have to drive across the water which is what this post is about. Go to your friend's house, take your precious infant daughter to your mom's house, put the chihuahua in a baby sling while you work, MAKE A PLAN. "I drive across water all the time even though I know I shouldn't lol" Cool! Every time you do that you run the risk of losing your life, devastating your friends and loved ones, fucking up your car (if water gets into your engine's intake you can say goodbye to that engine AND it might also catch on fire just to spite you), putting first responders in danger trying to get you, putting good Samaritans in danger trying to rescue you, ending up on the news because someone whipped out their phone to film you sitting on top of your floating car like a dumbass. DO NOT. DRIVE. THROUGH WATER. EVER. EVER!!

[nemo-draco]

More fun thoughts, especially for the AUs where Doey’s one person and can't split, you think he ever gets annoyed with himself and addresses those behaviors as the kids? Finds himself getting annoyed or irritated and goes something like "Kevin, calm down." Or feels like he's getting too giddy or exuberant and it's like "Jack, Jack, wait, this isn't a good time-!". Or feels anxious from the pressures around Safe Haven, and just quietly goes to himself, "Matthew, we, we can't do anything else, okay?".

He's not even sure if this is a case of him seeing connections where there aren't any, and maybe he just looks crazy for doing it, but sometimes it helps? Or, feels helpful? Maybe makes him feel a little less awful over his whole situation. But, much like the Fandom, can see Doey having the most 'talks' with 'Kevin', given that I can definitely see the temper from him mixing horribly with other frayed nerves. Doey snapping or withdrawing from a moment with the others because it stamped on some trigger he barely remembers the context for, but he immediately assumes it's from Kevin. And goes on a bit of a frustrated tirade, trying to stay quiet so as not to worry anyone but still growing more and more upset as he rambles "I don't know what happened to you, but we can't keep doing this! Not everyone trying to hug you is gonna hurt you, they can't even hurt me, they're tiny! ...Why are you always doing this, Kevin?! It's not fair! I don't wanna be angry, I don't want people looking at me like I'm gonna hurt them! I don't want this to be Susan and George all over again, Kevin! So just STOP, okay?!"

For extra poignancy, Doey turns enough that he's facing some sort of a reflective surface, it hammering in at that moment that there is no one else here. No Kevin. Kevin can no longer respond, if he ever could, and Doey’s just basically had this whole yelling match with himself. At a more metaphorical than real child who did not ask for this to happen to them.

Can imagine he has to sit with that realization for a good, long while.

[daisyjonesgf]

Thinking about Finnick rn... Thinking about Finnick having West Coast habits... (I live in, what would be considered, part of District 4, so I think I'm p qualified to talk abt West Coast habits) so... modern!au Finnick, anyone?

Finnick is 100% a California boy. Like if we want to keep the collective headcanon about him swimming all the time in the ocean and being a beach boy... he can't be from Oregon or Washington bc those coastlines are FRIGID 12 out of 12 months of the year.

(Not to say you can't swim in there, you just need a good, thermal wetsuit so you don't freeze during the cold months; I watched a guy surf for a good hour in January, so it’s not impossible.)

I'd like to think he's a hiker when he's not feeling like swimming. Both woodsy trails and mountain trails. He also picks berries on hikes. If he's with his partner (whether it be Annie or Sweet Girl) he makes a day of it. Sandwiches, drinks, and berry picking. And, afterward? Going to a small ice cream shop for a little something. (Totally me projecting because this is what I did with my grandma when she'd watch me during the summer)

He's a sucker for a good "Tourist Trap" or doing touristy things in the places he knows really well. Trees of Mystery? Yeah, he's been quite a few times, but he just loves posing next to the crazy trees and definitely marvels at the really tall redwoods every. single. time. The various aquariums? He always takes different routes every time he goes and it definitely depends on who he's with.

Even the kinda crappy, kinda cheap tourist traps that are literally just the simplest things. (See the smallest park in Portland, OR... yeah. He gets a kick out of that.)

He definitely owns a pair of these pants that have detachable pant legs. Basically, there are zippers at the knees and you can change them from cargo pants to cargo shorts; my English/History/STEM teacher had, like, three different pairs & he was/is an avid hiker. Anyways-

Is it too cliche to say his house would be an over-the-top coastal-themed house? Like pictures and paintings of sea life, shell-shaped soaps, shell shadow boxes, towels at the front and back doors, "beach life" quotes, etc.? It's so cheesy, but just so him at the same time. His job is Beach.

not to out myself but I live in the PNW so I also feel very qualified to talk about west coast finnick, and yk I love a modern au guys ✨️

LISTEN okay guys hear me out on this I think modern finnick born and raised in Oregon or Washington along the coast and he loved to swim so much, but his parents were like, no it's too cold. but as he got a little older he would do that anyways (I saw a guy literally like two days ago swimming on the cold ass beach no thermal suit or anything just fucking swimming and it's still March and so cold) that would be finnick as a teenager fr. but his parents would go on trips to California and when finnick got to be on warm beaches it made his world, he would savor every moment there, swimming, surfing, fucking wakeboarding, he loves it, and he makes the decision as a child when he goes that he is gonna live there someday. and he does, the moment he is 18, he is packing up his car, surfboards on the roof to live out his California dreams. specifically for the heat in the area he chooses BUT he still loves doing all the things he did as a kid so this man is constantly on the move, spends so much money driving up and down the west coast I fear (he goes to ucsb or ucsd btw) BUT he takes a gap year first to see everything the entire coastline has to offer bc he loves nature

he is definitely a hiker, he has a personal goal to hike every trail he can on the coastline, which is so fucking many, and adores hiking and picnicking so much. I'm a firm believer this man loves saltwater taffy and can't help but buy it by the bucket load, he literally has to be stopped. and yeah he does love a tourist trap, and is dragging his partner along to every single one and taking so many pictures. he went to the enchanted forest in oregon as a kid and he definitely goes back as an adult and still enjoys it even though I can say from generational experience that most people go back and do not enjoy it nearly as much and wonder how they ever did in the first place, but finnick would. and he definitely loves visiting a zoo or aquarium.

not the detachable pant legs 😭 (he totally would) he thinks it's such a cool invention, I also think he owns tons of offbrand birkenstocks

you're so right about the super beach themed coastal house when he does buy his own house it's so cheesy beach quotes and mats with cheesy quotes about the sand at the doors, and it's so beach themed, he can't help but buy every beach themed thing he sees, he literally has to be pulled away.

west coast finnick my beloved (totally not bc this is my niche)

[amalthea-13]

Addressing Reblogs/Comments

Recently this post of mines went semi-viral??? I don't know how to describe it, but I had some reblogs and comments I wanted to address or add onto. I will be tagging each individual.

Addition #1: Cheating is perceived as worse than Domestic Violence (By:@@autismjester)

I hope I am pulling from the correct comment. At the moment I am a tad off so I am trying to be sure I credit everyone in this post. When it comes to the conversation of "cheating" I am a prickly ass motherfucker.

I have watched people in my life be cheated on and therefore I do take it very seriously. However, my big issue with Stolas Antis is their demonization of Stolas for "cheating" when even the show acknowledges that Stolas did not in fact cheat.

Stolas: Andrealphus, cheating implies there was a betrayal. This woman never gave two shits about me or our very much arranged marriage. As far as I'm concerned, this divorce is far overdue.

However, people are more worried about the fact Stolas cheated, rather than the fact he is very much being physically abused.

"Amalthea you can't prove it! There is no proof!"

That's laughable and all it takes is one GIF from The Circus to prove my point.

In this scene, Stella backhands Stolas and it is implied it was meant to make impact. Stolas manages to catch the hit because he is so used to being abused.

We also have to keep in mind Stolas is incredibly isolated from most people due to Stella's bad mouthing and on top of that she consistently demeans him to keep him from seeking anyone better than her.

Stolas is physically abused, but no one cares because to them "cheating is worse" when in my opinion as a kid I rather my parent cheat than abuse my other parent. Cheating leaves damage, sure, but I can learn to trust again and grow, but abuse leaves lasting scars that may never heal.

Addition#2: Stolas didn't have to leave, Stella wouldn't leave. (By:@kitty-meow-meow-83)

Kitty here raised a great point about this entire debacle and- Stolas couldn't really leave. Hear me out, the castle, everything belongs to him and Stella just utterly refused to leave.

While we're talking purely physical things, but everything Stolas owned and cared about was in that home. Why the FUCK should he have to give that up to his fucking abuser? Like genuinely I don't see why people want him to "leave" when it clearly is his damn house. He shouldn't have to leave, but Stella made it extra hard to get rid of her.

Addition #3: Stella likes to Torture Stolas (By: @autismjester)

Stella: I like tormenting you. I want to keep reminding you of what you did.

Jester here raised my favorite point and it's that Stella enjoys reminding Stolas of how "horrible he is". She enjoys and takes pleasure in his pain. She enjoys watching him struggle and cry and hurt.

There is a reason she calls him "terrible in bed" or "fucking embarrassment" or "scrawny twig ass" or "pathetic fucking man". All things she said about him to her friends while Stolas was only a few feet away.

The entire point is making Stolas feel inadequate to make herself feel good. Stella's favorite activity is tormenting Stolas with how awful he is purely because she find amusement in his suffering.

This is something that is casually glossed over so often, but is so important to understanding Stolas and Stella's dynamic.

Addition #4: Stolas couldn't leave. He couldn't fight back. (By: @caldella)

Caldella piggybacked off my point about the fact Stolas does not have any resources nor anyone to really turn to if he really did leave.

Stolas has nothing and no support system. Not even Blitz functions as a solid support system atp.

However, Caldella's words really struck a chord with me when they pointed this out;

"Like the whole Mastermind episode had a lot of metaphors for not only how LGBT+ parents are considered lesser in court cases etc. but also how determinedly abusive people build up a narrative against the victim and prevent them getting help."

A whole narrative and idea was built up against Blitz to get to Stolas and sadly Stolas had to play into the narrative to clear Blitz's name. Stolas utilized his privilege to protect him and anyone that discredits that will get a damn foot up their FUCKING ass.

Stolas had no way of defending himself. There was nothing left to do but play the part that the cornered him into. Sadly, there was nothing that could save him. He had no time to think or fight back.

Conclusion

I do not have very much to add. I just thought these people deserved a proper response. I know @cute-little-fly made a great response to me "The Stella Dilemma" post, but I really didn't know how to puzzle piece it into here, but please know I did read it and found it rather compelling! It just didn't fit into the list of things I wanted to discuss, plus talking to much about Stella is nauseating for me.

I do hope all included in this post like the responses/me building off them. I try my best to get back to you guys, but I do not know if i can repeat this in the future due to how hard it was this time around. If you want me to elaborate on anything please use the ask box.

Thank you all for your support.

Toodles! Amalthea Out!

Tag List:

@larryisnotagirl

Want to be in my tag list? Send in an ask!

i understand that stolas was in an awful situation but when people criticise the cheating aspect in helluvaboss its not because they want men to stay with their abusers its because they think stolas should have left. stolas sleeps with blitz in his anniversary dinner and when blitz jumps out a window and his cheating is discovered he immediately asks for a divorce. the issue isnt "men need to be loyal regardless of how awful their partner is" the issue is the original situation in s1 was complex but it seems to get brushed under the rug because stella sucks.

stolas was in an awful situation. he truly felt trapped with no where to go and it didn't even seem like he even had anyone to confide in but the way the reveal happens makes it seem like "cheating is wrong but stella is a bitch so its ok" bc stella sucks but she doesnt put out a hit on stolas until after he very publicly humiliates her.

Reading shit like this makes me physically ill. My stomach literally churned at this shit.

The cheating doesn't FUCKING matter when you're being BEAT BY YOUR FUCKING WIFE.

THE MORAL PURITY RHETORIC YOU ARE SPOUTING WILL GET A VICTIM OF ABUSE KILLED, IF NOT WORSE.

Cheating is OBVIOUSLY fucking wrong. Do you REALLY need an adult show to fucking tell you to not cheat on your spouse? Do you really need your fucking hand held that bad? Are you all, as a fucking audience, that fucking dense?! Are you genuinely UNABLE to engage with a piece of media beyond the surface level and have complex moral conversations!?

The thing you all seem to miss is Stolas did not love himself enough to leave. That's the problem.

That man did not love himself enough to leave, but he loved Octavia enough to stay.

Stolas is willing to be made a fucking laughing stock, to be publicly humiliated to keep Stella's wrath at bay and ya'll are more concerned with the fact Blitz fell out a FUCKING WINDOW!?

I- This cannot be the hill you are willing to die on. This cannot be the bullshit ya'll spout.

Stolas was in an impossible situation. He has no friends. He has no family. HE HAS NO ONE. Stella SOCIALLY OSTRACIZED THE MAN and you're saying he shoulda just left?

Blitz gave him the PUSH to leave. Stolas would have killed himself before he left what are ya'll talking about!?

Sure, Stella may not fucking call a hit on Stolas till AFTER the cheating, but she still PUBLICLY makes fun of how he is in BED while the man IS A FEW FEET AWAY. Again DO YA'LL WATCH THE DAMN SHOW!? Do ya'll engage CRITICALLY or STUPIDLY!?

I usually don't have to fucking insult peoples intelligence to prove a fucking point, but you gotta be as sharp as a fuckin marble to boil the entire situation down to "cheating is wrong but stella is a bitch so its ok".

Stolas didn't fucking cheat. Sure, by legal and vow standards he did, but cheating implies a BETRAYAL. Stella never loved that man. She actively makes fun of him, it is implied she hits him, and on top of that she calls him a "twig" and a "fucking embarrassment" and yet ya'll're stuck on the fucking cheating still?

As a kid who watched ACTUAL fucking cheating happen in my own FUCKING home, what Stolas did was not fucking cheating. That woman never loved him. She treated him like SHIT and ya'll are so hell bent on the fucking cheating because what? Stolas chose himself?

"oh but poor Via" As a former fucking Via, the girl will FUCKING live. Stolas had to get the FUCK away from that bitch.

Because yknow what, Stella isn't just a "bitch" she's an ABUSER. A FUCKING ABUSER.

WHAT PART OF ABUSE DO YOU PEOPLE NOT GET!?

IN THIS FUCKING SCENE, STOLAS IS SO FUCKING USED TO BEING BACK HANDED BY THE BITCH, HE CAUGHT HER HAND WHEN SHE WENT TO FUCKING HIT HIM, FUCKING REWATCH THE CIRCUS.

DOES A VICTIM NEED TO DIE BEFORE THEIR DESPERATE SITUATION IS RECOGNIZED AS A DANGEROUS SITUATION!?

...

But that's what you all want. You want him to be your tragic lil victim. You want him to be some tragic, sad tale... and because he isn't... he is not a "victim".

He is anything but a person to you all...

Any victim of abuse like Stolas is apparently not sympathetic enough for you all to actually care about victims.

Gods I'm gonna be sick.

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

Hallo! :D

Could you write a story where the Reader was Donna's only friend during their childhood, always there to protect her from bullies? Like, whenever someone tried to make fun of Donna, the Reader would step in and start threatening those jerks and stuff like that.

But then, when Donna became a lord, she lost the Reader, and all she could think about was how the Reader would’ve comforted her during those tough times. Even though she missed them, Donna doesn’t try to get the Reader back because she’s still figuring out her powers and is scared of accidentally hurting them.

Fast forward a few years, and the Reader decides to reach out to Donna. They enter her territory and find Donna sitting on that old bench where they used to hang out and chat as kids. They start talking again, and their meetups become more frequent. But every time the Reader leaves, Donna feels this pain; she wants them to stay and make sure they’ll never leave her again.

Finally, Donna opens up about how she feels, and it leads to a sweet moment where they kiss and share all those cute feelings! 🤭

Thank youuu:) xx

Yesss!!!! Thank you for your request!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :)))))

Nothing ever changes

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, Donna being Donna

Word count: 7,965

Summary: She was your friend, you promised you'd protect her...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))

“N-No... (Y/N), I don't think it's a good idea,” the young girl next to you, your best friend for as long as you can remember, Donna Beneviento, said.

“Why? Come on, Donna, there's a lot to do in the village, we'll have a good time,” you insisted when her feet sank into the snow and her face hardened.

“No, I can't,” she replied with a broken voice, hugging her most faithful companion, the doll her father made for her.

“Are you scared?” you asked innocently, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Your friend shook her head, but held the doll tighter.

“Mamma says there are bad people in the village, people who want to hurt me,” the brunette girl explained. “The people in this village don't like me.”

“Nonsense, it's just that they're jealous of you,” you said, still smiling, taking her hand and forcing her to keep walking. “You know, you live in a very big house, you have a lot of money...”

“That's not...” Donna began, remaining silent for a few seconds. “That doesn't matter to them, (Y/N), all they see when they look at me is... this,” she murmured in an almost imperceptible tone, pointing at her face.

“Oh,” you sighed sadly, looking at your friend's lifeless eye and the scar surrounding it. “I don't think it matters,” you said afterward, with a look of pity. “Besides, I'm with you, and so is Angie, we'll protect you.”

Your friend's gaze slowly lifted, showing a bit of light, a bit of hope.

“Davvero?” she asked with a sigh, bringing her wrist closer to her chest. “Will you protect me?”

“You're my best friend,” you affirmed, jumping in the snow as you moved her weak hand, finally making the young Beneviento girl surrender and walk beside you.

The year was 1981, although in that remote Romanian village, time seemed to stand still. You were an ordinary villager, the daughter of a family of cabinetmakers who, while hardly comparable to the nobility of that place, were close enough to being an important one.

Your father worked with wood, offering his services to anyone who requested them. Such delicate and necessary work didn’t go unnoticed, and granted him certain privileges that made your lives easier.

Among his many clients was the mysterious lady of the castle, Alcina Dimitrescu, one of the Three Lords who, along with the messenger of the Gods, Mother Miranda, and her siblings, served as guides and protection for mere mortals like you.

But these important people weren't the only ones who needed a cabinetmaker. One of your father's best clients was the patriarch of an ancient noble family that lived in a somewhat remote place: Giuseppe Beneviento.

The Beneviento family had noble blood, or so you were told. Apparently, they had dedicated themselves for centuries to the art of making dolls and toys for the village children, although sometimes you heard rumors of some kind of curse that had fallen upon that ancient family.

You never cared much, because the Beneviento family had a daughter, a girl only three years older than you, whom you met when you were very, very young: Donna Beneviento.

You always accompanied your father when he did business; he said your innocent face helped him make better deals, and you loved seeing new places and meeting new people.

So, the dollmakers’ daughter began to be a very special playmate, and over time, she became your best friend.

Donna was a mentally ill child who didn't usually communicate with other people, with anyone other than you, or her parents. But a shyness bordering on mental illness wasn't the worst of her problems. Some time ago, Donna told you about the scar that crossed her right eye, rendering it useless.

According to her, when young Beneviento was just a baby, she cried excessively, disturbing the peace of the old waterfall mansion and the equally wounded mind of the family matriarch.

One day, Donatella Beneviento, tried to silence her daughter's desperate cries by rudely stabbing her in the eye with scissors, leaving her permanently wounded.

The scar left behind as a result of her mother’s illness became her worst complex.

The children laughed at her, mocked her for her appearance, and it made her even more withdrawn. Her only form of communication with the world was the doll her father had given her, Angie.

But that changed when you were with her. With you, she did talk, she expressed her feelings, played, laughed... She was your best friend, the best you'd ever had, and you loved spending time with her.

Donna was a sensitive girl, but tremendously intelligent. You could spend hours listening to the stories she told, the lessons her parents gave her, learning Italian… As a thank you for taking care of her, her father even gave you another doll, because, at least with you, she could speak for herself.

You were nine, she was twelve, and despite the difference, you were inseparable, you thought you’ll be forever.

“See? It's okay,” you said with a smile, holding your friend's hand as you walked through the village.

“(Y/N), no... I'm not feeling well, can we go back home?” Donna asked, looking everywhere.

“Are you sick?”

“I don't like it here, io...” she murmured, lowering her voice and hiding her face behind the porcelain doll. “(Y/N), ho paura.”

“Does that mean you're scared?” you asked, stopping walking to face her, trying to calm her down.

She nodded with a sniffle, making you regret your attempt, rubbing her arm comfortingly.

“Okay, we'll play on your grounds,” you said, a little disappointed, but prioritizing Donna's well-being.

A dull thud followed by a surprised gasp interrupted your return. A ball of mud landed on your friend's face, knocking her to the ground.

“I got her! I got the weirdo!” a boy about your age exclaimed, laughing behind some bushes with some friends.

“Donna, are you okay?” you asked, helping your friend up. The poor girl couldn't stop shaking and couldn't utter any comprehensible words. “Hey, that was mean!” you accused them.

“Oh, the weirdo's friend,” mocked a girl following the bullies, still giggling. “Weirdo!”

“Hey, stop it! It's not right to laugh at others!” you shrieked angrily, standing in front of your friend with a face that was meant to be threatening.

“That's what weirdos are for, to laugh at them,” explained a boy, rolling another ball of mud. “Hey, look at me, weirdo!”

Donna was unable to calm down, and a mud-stained tear began to flow from her good eye.

“One-eyed Beneviento, one-eyed Beneviento!” the children mocked, pointing at the humiliated girl.

“Enough!” you shouted, angrily clenching your fists and running toward them, throwing yourself at a disgusting girl. “You like mud? Then mud you'll have!” you shrieked, struggling with the girl and burying her face in a puddle before the astonished gaze of her friends.

“Stop, stop!” the bully protested, unable to escape your grasp. “You'll pay for this!”

“You don't scare me, Hanna!” you shrieked, struggling against her friends, who came to her aid. “Don't mess with my friend!”

“Oh, her friend,” one of them mocked, managing to pull you away from the girl while you kicked. “Friend of the freak!”

You growled furiously, managing to kick the kid, causing him to let you go with a cry of pain as he doubled over.

“Damn it...” he protested, trying to hit you back, but you were faster, grabbing his arm and sinking your teeth into it. “Hey, she bit me!” he yelled, gesturing to his friends.

“Come on, let's go...” the mud-stained girl said. “It's not worth it.”

“Yeah, run! You're evil!” you yelled as the bullies ran off, glancing at your friend, who was kneeling on the ground. “Donna.”

“Sono un mostro, un mostro...” the brunette babbled, holding her head tightly and fidgeting.

“Donna, don't do that,” you said, unable to control her crisis, fleeing from her nervous swatting. “Donna, stop…”

You were a little girl, and although it wasn't the first time you'd seen your friend in that condition, a pang of pain ran through your chest, along with a wave of guilt. With your abilities diminished by your age and your lack of understanding of what was happening to your sick friend, all you could do was kneel beside her and hold her, hold her tight.

The sobs continued for a while, but eventually your comforting embrace worked, calming poor Donna's madness.

“Come on... let's get you cleaned up, okay?” you said, helping her to her feet, putting your arm around her as you walked back to her grounds.

She nodded, sobbing weakly, slowly escorting you to the riverbank, where you began to remove the mud from her face.

“I'm sorry, it was my fault,” you said, your gaze downcast, unable to look at her face.

“Mamma will be angry... I stained her dress,” Donna said, distracted but letting herself be taken care of.

“That's not fair,” you commented, finishing cleaning up the dirt.

“She says I'm a disgrace to the family,” she explained, making you frown.

“What's a disgrace?”

“Something bad,” Donna replied, looking away and picking up her now-clean Angie doll. “(Y/N), I... gr-grazie... for protecting me,” she said in a sad tone, as you returned to your favorite play spot, an old stone bench.

“You're my best friend, Donna, I'll always protect you,” you said, confident in your words as you sat down next to her.

“Really? Will you always protect me?” the brunette asked, hugging her doll, shedding a tear on the porcelain.

“Always,” you affirmed, rubbing her back. “Come on, let's play. Judy must have gotten tired of waiting for us,” you said next, searching for your doll. “She was grounded for teasing Angie.”

It wasn't the last incident.

Luckily, you were always there to protect your friend from the other children's bullying, always looking out for her, as you promised. You were convinced nothing would separate you.

As the years passed, there weren't too many changes in your afternoons of chatting and playing. Time was a cruel element, and it began to affect your thoughts, your body... When you reached adolescence, things started to look different.

Unlike Donna, who had lessons at home, you attended the village school, and although you hated your classmates for laugh at your friend, age began to change that.

Like any teenager, you began to let the past go and meet up with them to stroll around the village, get into mischief, and forget about your old doll, as well as your old friend Donna. She never left her grounds despite her maturity, and yes, you would visit her every day, or almost every day.

It pained you to admit it, but sitting next to her on that stone bench became less and less common.

Things didn't improve as the years passed, and in 1987, everything changed, everything changed with Donna.

“Okay, it's been fun, but I have to go.” you said, getting up from the ground and dusting off your dress.

“Are you going to see your weirdo friend? Stop wasting time, (Y/N),” your friend Hanna said, her tone dismissive.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head, sighing, annoyed at having to abandon that funny afternoon.

“Leave her alone,” you muttered. “Hey, don't do anything funny without me!” you shouted as you waved goodbye, heading back into the lush forest.

In the distance, on your usual bench, was that black figure, Donna, waiting silently next to her doll.

You were already 15, she was 17, about to come of age, but even so, she never abandoned her doll, never let it be consumed by dust, like yours had been.

“Hey, Donna,” you said with a smile, giving your friend a quick hug, who smiled warmly, clinging to your body.

“You... it took you a while,” she commented, slowly pulling away.

Of course, she changed too. She became a truly beautiful young woman despite her flaw, and... well, you'd thought for some time that she really was the most beautiful girl you knew.

In fact, you'd been pretty clear that men weren't your thing, after several failed teenage romances, and... somehow, the connection, the bond between you and Donna, grew a little different, a little more... warm.

“Sorry,” you apologized as you sat down next to her, keeping her hand in yours. “I got a little distracted.”

She sighed, nodding and slowly looking away, disappointment visible on her face, and something else you couldn't quite make out.

“You good, Donna?” you asked gently, moving closer to her. “You don't look well.”

“I've never do,” she murmured with a sad smile. “But you're right. Things aren't going well, (Y/N).”

“Mm,” you murmured, rubbing her back lovingly and holding her soft hand again. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“My mom is handling the pregnancy really badly,” she began.

Of course, you already knew Donna was expecting a little sibling soon, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing, not with her mother's craziness.

“Oh,” you commented. “Did she hit you again?”

“No,” she denied, making a strange face. “But her madness is worse than ever... Father says she shouldn't drink alcohol, but... (Y/N), I fear for my brother or sister's life... I don't want the same thing to happen to it.”

“W-Well, I don't know much about that... but at least you're here to protect it, right?” you said with a confident smile, thinking, unintentionally, about how much fun you were having with your friends, and how sad the visits to Donna usually were.

“Just like you're always here to protect me, aren't you?” she sighed with a discreet smile, a faint blush on her cheeks.

“Yes, that's it,” you affirmed, glancing sideways at the doll she was holding and frowning. Young Beneviento was definitely too old for dolls, and that seemed... strange to you.

“I guess you're right,” she said with a weak voice, looking into your eyes. “I'm sorry, (Y/N), you'd probably rather be with your friends than listen to my misery.”

“No,” you lied exaggeratedly. “No, no, Donna, don't say that… I like being with you, you're my best friend. But, hey… you should, I don't know, get some fun out of here. Do you feel like coming to the reservoir tonight? We're going to have a bonfire, it'll be fun.”

“I can't,” Donna denied, as she always did when you suggested hanging out with your friends.

“Are you sure? I think Hanna Petrescu was going to steal beers from her parents and…”

“Hanna? (Y/N)… why…?” the brunette interrupted, with a nasty look on her face. “Why are you hanging out with her? Don't you remember what she did to me?”

“Yeah, well…” you said nervously, looking away. “But she's changed, really, she's not like she used to be.”

“No, (Y/N), those people never change, nothing ever changes,” Donna told you, her tone serious, her gaze darker.

“Uh, that's not true,” you sighed, swinging your legs onto the stone bench. “Come on, you'll have fun, we'll tell scary stories, we'll play spin the bottle...”

“Spin the bottle? What's that?” the young Beneviento asked with a curious look.

You laughed mischievously, lifting your legs onto the bench and crossing them to sound more confident.

“It's a really funny game, you began. They put a bottle on the ground, we stand around it, and spin it.”

“What's so funny about that? I don't get it,” your friend said, her expression innocent.

“Oh, that's the best part,” you said, lowering your voice. “When the bottle stops, the people it's pointing at have to kiss.”

“U-Un bacio?” Donna asked, pulling away slightly with a look of disgust. “Why a kiss?”

You shrugged and laughed playfully.

“That's the way it is,” you said, shaking your head.

“I-I don't understand,” she murmured, pulling away slightly. “Why is kissing funny? That's not... that's not right.”

“Why not?”

“A kiss isn't just given to anyone for a stupid game; it's a declaration of love, it's serious, (Y/N),” Donna explained, showing her complete rejection of your teenage playfulness.

“Oh, that's nonsense,” you said, dismissing it with a wave of your hand. “It's 1987, don't be so old-fashioned.”

“Old-fashioned?” she said, offended, shaking her head.

“It doesn't mean anything, Donna, it's just a game, look,” you said, trying to escape the tense situation in the worst possible way, approaching your friend and stealing a kiss on the lips that left her with her eyes wide open. “See? It's nothing.”

“Why did you do that?!” the young woman shrieked, getting up from the bench in annoyance and placing a hand on her desecrated lips.

“Oh, come on, did it bother you? I wanted to show you it doesn't mean anything,” you said, standing up as well and placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Maybe not to you,” the brunette murmured, crossing her arms with a confused look, caressing her lips.

“What do you mean?” you asked cautiously, looking at your friend's face, feeling something stir inside you, something that had been created inside you after that silly kiss. “Donna, hey, don't take it so seriously, okay?”

“Take this seriously? Y-You kissed me, (Y/N),” she protested, pacing erratically.

“It was a joke...” you began in a calmer, apologetic tone.

“Of course, it doesn't mean anything to you,” she hissed, clenching her fists on either side of her hips. Her gaze was as cold as ice, her eyes reflecting darkness. “Is that it, vero? I don't mean anything to you.”

“What? Come on, Donna, don't be like that, you know that's not true,” you said somewhat nervously, biting the lips that kissed her, and that seemed to demand something more. “You're my best friend.”

“Am I? I thought Hanna Petrescu was now,” she mocked in an ironic, hurtful tone.

“What are you talking about? Donna, relax, will you? You're losing your mind again, count to ten...”

“Stop treating me like I'm a child!” the young lady shrieked, making you back away. “Stop... stop pretending to care about me.”

“I care about you,” you sighed, placing a hand on her cheek. “Donna...”

“No... it's not true, I can see it in your eyes,” she said, sniffling and pushing your touch away from her skin. “You're only coming because you feel sorry for me. You'd rather be with them.”

“Stop talking nonsense, Donna. Anyone might think you're jealous of my friends,” you said in a haughty tone, adopting a cocky pose. “Besides, if you listened to me and came with us, you'd realize what...”

“Do you want me to leave the safety of my home to share glances and words with the people who hurt me when I was little? Is that what you want?” Donna accused you, with a disgusted look on her face.

“Maybe then you'd realize they've changed, and you'd stop sinking into this sinister place and making my life miserable with your sorrows,” you whispered back, instantly regretting it.

“I'm making your life miserable, aren't I?” she said, pain on her face, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Well... well then... go away.”

“Donna, wait, I didn't mean...” you said, grabbing her hand, a hand she jerked away. “Donna, you're my best friend, you always have been…”

“You're lying, and the worst part is that you know it,” the lady hissed, stamping her feet angrily. “N-No… I can't go on like this, I can't stand seeing you when you don't want to, and… maybe believing that… that you and I…”

“Yes?” you asked with an involuntary smile, moving a little closer. “You and I…?”

“Forget it, nothing I feel, nothing I do or say means anything to you, you've shown me that,” she finally said, moving away from your approach, leaving you petrified. “You have fun with them, don’t you? Then go with them.”

“Donna, no… you can't do this to me… I…” you said nervous and scared. Everything seemed to be going terribly wrong. “Hey, I want to be with you.”

“No, I can't stand it,” Donna said, relaxing her expression and wiping away her tears. “Please go…”

“Donna… w-wait a minute, no, you can’t just kick me out of your life,” you pleaded, regretting your actions, your words.

“I can,” she said firmly, pointing down the path that led to the village. “Go, (Y/N)… I never want to see you again.”

“What? No, Donna, wait.”

“Fuori! Fuori, fuori, fuori!" she yellled, frantically, causing you to run away from that place in fear.

That was the last time you saw her, at least for several years.

Losing Donna wasn't as simple as it seemed, as you wanted to believe. You were happy with your friends, but you felt like you were missing something; you missed her presence, her maturity, her always-on advice... They said you don't know what you have until you lose it, and it couldn't be more true.

Despite everything, your teenage life continued to change, blocking your own desire to return to your friend, your best friend, and resume those conversations, those laughs, to see her smile again...

But you didn't. Letting yourself be carried away by youth, you began to forget about Donna, leaving her as nothing but a memory. Yes, you knew about her life, you knew she'd had a little sister named Claudia, a cheerful girl and... well, apparently healthier than Donna herself.

Not wanting to reopen old wounds, you let her live her life, let her take care of her little sister as she promised she would, and let your lives separate completely. Until 1996.

That year wasn't good, it was terrible.

You were already 24, maturity was beginning to arrive in your life, and at just the right time, a horrible tragedy occurred, one Donna could never forget.

Little Claudia Beneviento, only 9 years old, contracted an incurable disease that caused her to die suddenly. Donna's sister, the one she swore to protect, had died, but things could always get worse.

After the death of her young daughter, Donatella Beneviento's madness drove her to commit an atrocious act: to end her life by throwing herself off the cliff next to the mansion. But she didn't do it alone. Giuseppe Beneviento, in a desperate attempt to save his wife, threw himself after her.

Donna was left completely alone, and that was something you couldn't, and didn't want to, ignore.

But despite your attempts to talk to her, to be with her during those terrible moments, you were unsuccessful. She didn't want to see you; she didn't even look at you at her family's funeral; she wouldn't open the door for you, or answer the phone.

You may not have realized it when it happened, but you began to understand that she meant what she said, that you would never be friends again.

Two years after the tragedy, in 1998, you decided to be brave, try one last time, and venture into the forest to give a chance to that special friendship that had united you, and that was broken because of you.

“Hey, Donna,” you said, knocking on the mansion door. “Come on, you can't still be mad at me after everything that's happened. I've... I've grown up and... and I want to apologize, keep you company, be with you like I promised I would. Please, Donna...”

“How loving...” a mysterious voice sounded as the door opened.

You stepped back, frightened by the presence before you, one you hadn't expected. The village's protector, the priestess sent by the Gods, Mother Miranda, came through the door with a satisfied look, analyzing your every gesture.

“Mother Miranda,” you said politely, bowing your head to the priestess, controlling the incipient trembling in your body.

“Mm, (Y/N), right? The cabinetmaker's daughter,” the blonde witch said, leaning against the door frame with a sense of grandeur, justifiably so, of course. “What a surprise to see you here.”

“Same, Mother Miranda,” you whispered discreetly, trying to look over her shoulders, trying to locate your friend. “I came to see Donna.”

“Donna, of course,” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “Oh, right... you were very close friends... I remember seeing you two playing behind the chapel.”

“Yes, ma'am,” you stated fearfully, earning a sinister chuckle from the priestess. “Please, I want to speak with her.”

“Um, I'm afraid Donna is... unwell right now, (Y/N), you'll have to come back later,” Miranda explained, making your concern grow.

“Is something wrong with Donna?” you asked, hopping pathetically around trying to get a glimpse of the inside of the house.

“Well, apart from being completely alone, losing her family, and having a serious mental illness... no, nothing's wrong with her,” the woman mocked, causing you to clench your fists tightly.

“I want to help her. I promised I would,” you said without thinking much. “She was my friend, and...”

"Oh, it's a shame she didn't have you all these years, isn't it?” she mocked again, a sickening darkness in her gaze. “Maybe I wouldn't be here if it had been that way.”

“Y-You have no right to accuse me, she kicked me out of her life,” you explained, unsure, probably because you were so scared of that horrible woman.

“Sure, and you were too busy to come back, right?” she rebuked you again, still smiling.

“I...” you stammered, finding some painful truth in her words. “That's not...”

“I'll give you some advice, little bird,” the woman began, putting her arm around your shoulders, walking down the front steps with you. “Forget about Donna. She's on... a different mission right now.”

“A mission? What have you done to Donna?” you asked, abruptly pulling away from the witch's grasp.

“Help her, my dear, and now if you'll excuse me, I’m busy,” she finally said, pushing you slightly and heading back into the mansion, slamming the door.

“What...? Donna!” you cried desperately. “Donna!”

“Miss (Y/N),” a voice behind you said, a voice that startled you.

When you turned around, you discovered it was Josef, the kind gardener of the Beneviento family. According to rumors, he was left to care for Donna when her family died.

“Mr. Simon,” you said, recovering from your shock. “Tell me, what's going on? What's she doing here?”

“Oh, great news, Miss (Y/N),” he said with a casual smile, escorting you back to the village. “Mother Miranda has taken pity on Mistress Donna, she's saved her.”

“Save her? From what?” you asked, stopping, demanding answers.

“Mistress Donna was... She wasn't well... and... she tried something horrible,” the man explained, leaving you breathless, realizing what he meant.

“Gods,” you sighed, running a hand over your forehead and looking at the elevator that went up to the mansion. “Donna…”

“But don't worry, Miss, Mistress Donna is very well cared for, and besides, I've heard she'll soon be named Lord of the village. It's just what our little Donna deserves, don't you think?”

“Lord? Donna?” you asked, confused. “Gods, is that true?”

“Time will tell, Miss (Y/N)…”

Josef wasn't wrong.

A few days after that strange encounter, there was a mass, but not just any mass, a special mass, to introduce the newest Lord, the fourth pillar that held the village together and kept it under the protection of the Gods: Donna Beneviento.

You remember seeing her at mass, you remember the strange black veil she wore on her face. That day, all your memories came back to haunt you, guilt stabbing at you like a knife. You were the one to blame, you had done that to her.

Now she was powerful, untouchable, and respected. You could feel a little relief at seeing that justice had finally been served, but that feeling was mixed with a touch of fear. You knew the other Lords, you knew what they were capable of.

You were never especially brave; you were only brave when you had to protect her from bullies, when you had to face her crises. In everything else, you were as cowardly as the rest of the villagers.

It was difficult to accept that Donna had changed, that she would never again be the shy little girl who played with you on that old bench, that she would never again be the beautiful young woman who gave you a strange flutter in your stomach.

You had lost her forever, although you never fully accepted it.

You tried to live your life, experiencing one heartbreak after another. No one seemed enough for you. Every time you dared to fall in love, you suffered disappointment. You felt an unpleasant emptiness that prevented you from giving yourself completely to another person.

Two years after that revelation, in 1998, something disturbing happened.

Josef Simon, the Beneviento family's loyal gardener, disappeared under mysterious circumstances. You refused to believe it, denied the truth behind the rumors that Donna had killed him.

The fear this new Lord inspired grew, and legends about her powers and the danger posed by entering her territory began to be evident to the villagers. On one hand, you felt a certain satisfaction seeing how the strange girl everyone mocked now had control of their lives. Now they owed her respect.

The new millennium arrived soon after, but in that place, it didn't mean much more than a different, new year. Everything seemed to remain the same in the village; life passed slowly, and your solitude began to feel comforting.

You were incapable of truly loving anyone; something was holding you back, a feeling you thought you'd forgotten, but at the same time, you couldn't stop feeling. You never tried to cross that forest again, to talk to Donna, to ask her questions, to apologize. The rumors in the village kept you from doing so, but… years later, in 2001, something changed.

“Let's see…” you murmured as you organized your stuff.

After your parents’ death, the business and the house were yours, and you had a lot of things to organize before continuing the family tradition.

“Oh, wow,” you said, taking your old Judy doll, the one Donna's father had given you, out of a chest. “Hi, Judy,” you said amusedly, dusting the old doll, causing something to fall off.

You picked it up slowly, turning it over and discovering an old photograph of two smiling girls hugging each other, Donna and you.

(Y/N) and Donna, 1985

Seeing that photograph awakened something you thought was dormant, a feeling of nostalgia and desire that made you swallow and look toward your window, toward the path that led to the Lord’s mansion.

You were 29 years old, no longer a child, nor a teenager, you were an adult with your whole life ahead of you, but... you felt you had to do something to fix the mistakes of your past, to recover what you longed for.

“Okay, I have to do this,” you said, leaving your house, wrapping yourself up and walking toward the wooden gate, toward your best friend's land.

Everything around you was completely different. The plants Josef lovingly tended had become wild, dominant. The landscape seemed abandoned, decayed, terribly sad and dark.

Despite the chills running through your body, you decided to continue toward the mansion, desperately hoping not to end up like the villagers who entered that place, never to return.

With a strong urge to flee, you kept walking, stopping when you reached that old stone bench so iconic to your childhood, the place where you talked, laughed, and were with Donna.

Your steps slowed as, on the cold stone, sat a black figure, a ghostly figure that couldn't be anyone else: Donna.

“I was hoping you'd come someday.” A hoarse voice emerged from the dark figure, and the black veil danced as it moved toward you.

“Donna?” you asked, slowly approaching the bench. “Gods, is that you?”

“Will you sit with me, (Y/N)?” the husky voice asked, placing a hand at her side as you obeyed, suspicious.

“Donna... it... it's been a long time,” you said nervously, sitting away from her, who simply nodded.

“An eternity,” she murmured.

“I... I feel terrible about what happened. I didn't mean...” you began, stammering, your voice not wanting to leave your throat. “Oh, Donna...” you sighed, throwing yourself into her arms, feeling a nostalgic euphoria that forced you to act unconsciously.

The lady in black didn't return the hug, but you could hear a sigh coming from the black veil as she gently pushed you away.

“I'm sorry, it was disrespectful. After all, you're a Lord now,” you murmured, embarrassed. “It's been a long time, Donna.”

“Mm,” she murmured disinterestedly, playing with her hands in her lap. “You're all grown up now.”

“Yeah, well,” you said, pretending to laugh and shaking your head. “Hey, I... I tried to tell you this many years ago, but... I'm so sorry about what happened to your family.”

“They abandoned me, they left me alone,” she grunted, clenching her fists, her voice the same nervous one you remembered, but perhaps a little more worn from disuse.

“Yeah, and me... me too,” you said, ducking your head, terribly embarrassed and uncomfortable. “You don't know how sorry I am, Donna. I never wanted to...”

“Taci”

You obeyed, remaining silent, a tense and charged silence that became unbearable.

“It... it was my fault,” you whispered cautiously, shaking your head and holding onto the bench for comfort. “That day, in '87, I behaved like a spoiled brat.”

“You mean the day you kissed me?” Donna asked, turning abruptly, but making it impossible for you to see her face.

“Yes, I... I shouldn't have done it,” you apologized, gradually lowering your voice. “I was young and stupid and... I tried to fix it, but... you, you didn't want anything to do with me.”

“That's not true,” she whispered in a tired voice, turning away from you. “I've never forgotten you, (Y/N).”

“Me neither,” you admitted, looking up at the cloudy sky. “I came to see you three years ago, to try to get back what we had, but... I found Mother Miranda, and Josef told me that...”

“Basta,” Donna said nervously, shaking her head. “Y-You said you'd always protect me.”

“I know, and I'm sorry... but hey, you were the one who didn't want to see me, you were always running away from me,” you said, annoyed by that spiteful comment. “I tried to make things right, Donna, I tried.”

“But you failed,” the lady rebuked you, slowly standing up.

“That's not... Ugh,” you protested, crossing your arms. “What could I do if my best friend didn't want to talk to me?”

“Your best friend?” she asked in a stern tone, accentuated by her intimidating presence.

“Yes, my best friend, you always were, Donna,” you defended yourself, sighing in frustration. “You said it yourself: Nothing ever changes.”

“Mm,” she murmured, looking away, turning her back on you. “I have changed.”

With a slow gesture, she brought her hand to the black veil, slowly parting it, allowing you to see her wounded face, a face marred by a horrible scar where her useless eye was supposed to be. Despite everything, the first thing that came to your mind after that discovery was one word: beautiful.

“Gods...” you sighed approaching and placing a hand on her cheek, caressing it despite her trembling. “She did this to you, didn't she?”

“My face isn't the only thing that's changed,” she said, pulling away abruptly. “There are many things that will never be the same as before, (Y/N).”

“I think you're still beautiful,” you sighed with a tender smile, filled with nostalgia, affection, and something else you hadn't felt in too long: those tickles in your stomach.

“And you're still a complacent brat,” Donna whispered, slowly raising her gaze, keeping yours silent.

With a simultaneous gasp, you both threw yourself into each other's arms in a tight embrace, accompanied by soft sobs. Donna's lavender scent flooded your senses, and you buried yourself in her shoulder, feeling her warmth, the warmth of something beautiful that had disappeared years ago, but seemed closer than ever.

“(Y/N)... mi sei mancata,” she whispered in your ear, hurting you with her grip, not wanting to let you go as she sobbed, just like you.

“I've missed you too,” you whispered back, with a tender smile, feeling too comfortable in her arms.

“You understood me... Y-You haven't forgotten,” the lady said, wiping away a tear and slowly pulling away from that intoxicating embrace.

“Of course I haven’t,” you said firmly. “I could never forget you, Donna. Tell me, if... if you missed me so much... Why didn't you come for me? I was so worried about you…”

“I didn't dare do it,” she said, sitting back down, taking your hand, guiding you. “After what happened, I… wanted to, I felt the need to get away from you.”

“I-I understand, but… what about these years? You're a Lord now, you… you have nothing to fear, and…"

“You're wrong, (Y/N), I'm afraid… afraid of myself,” she explained in a sadder voice, playing with the veil in her hands. “When… I changed, when I became… what I am now… I couldn't control my powers. I wanted to call you, I wanted to run and beg you to come back to me, but I was afraid, (Y/N), I was terrified of hurting you.”

You nodded understandingly, placing a hand on her shoulder, but withdrawing it when you remembered something disturbing.

“You... your gardener, Josef... they say... they say...” you stammered, unsure of whether to talk about that subject.

“I killed him,” Donna confessed without much emotion, leaving you cold. “I don't regret doing it, I don't regret having... hurt people who wanted to attack me.”

“I... I-I don't know what to say, that's wrong, Donna,” you whispered, starting to get, honestly, scared.

“I know, but... I just... I've only hurt people who deserved it,” the lady said nervously, taking your hands again. “I would never hurt you, (Y/N), I've... I've spent a lot of time trying to control myself so... so I could be with you here, right now.”

“Donna, that's... a lot to process,” you confessed, pulling away. “You could have asked for my help, called me.”

“I didn't want to disturb you. You had your life and… Well, you're single now, but…”

“How do you know?” you asked curiously, exchanging fear for a mocking smile.

“I have my ways,” she said, winking at you. “Here we are now… I've been coming here every day for two years, dreaming of seeing you appear, like you always did.”

“Yes, the place where it all began, where a naughty little girl tried to steal your lollipop,” you said, reminiscing, looking at the old stone bench.

“I adored that naughty little girl,” she whispered with a nervous laugh, avoiding looking at you directly. “You were always my only friend, (Y/N).”

“Mm, always here, on this very bench,” you sighed, looking at the cracks that time had created in the decoration. “But… but it all ended here too, when… when I kissed you… I don't know what I was thinking… it was. It was a mistake.”

“It wasn't for me,” Donna said sharply, hardening her gaze, holding yours again, causing something to form between you, a pleasant feeling you hadn't felt since that time your lips brushed against hers.

You wanted to speak, to say something, to confess that deep down, it did mean something to you, but you could only open your mouth, closing it after a few seconds.

“It wasn't for me either, Donna, even though I insisted on believing otherwise,” you managed to say, making her sad gaze return to yours, but she looked away instantly. “Who am I kidding... it was all my fault, I... I had so many friends that... for a moment I thought I'd forgotten you, although in reality... I never really did.”

“Me neither,” the brunette whispered, both of you looking away again, staring at some nonexistent place. “You... your memories are what brought me where I am now, you know?”

“Hmm? Being a Lord?” you asked amused.

“No,” she laughed tenderly, shaking her head. “I remember crying and screaming because I was lonely. When I was having a breakdown, you... your memories were the only thing that calmed me. I imagined you were there, holding me, comforting me, telling me everything would be okay. You weren't by my side, but I could feel you, I could feel you protecting me.”

“I really could have, Donna,” you said in a serious tone, moving a little closer to her, to that addictive lavender scent.

“I guess I was always stubborn,” the lady sobbed, wiping away a tear. “When Mother Miranda adopted me, I... I really didn't... I didn't want to live,” she confessed, causing a sad sigh to pass through your lungs. “I believed the world would be better without me, that no one needed a crazy ventriloquist... I let my life slip through my fingers, closing my eyes, and then she arrived.”

“Mother Miranda,” you murmured. You were never her most devoted follower, of course.

“Mm,” Donna nodded, biting her lip. “I wanted to tell her to let me die so I could return to my family, to my little sister, but... but then... I thought... I thought of you, (Y/N),” she said, with a disconcerting look. “I remembered those moments in our lives when we weren't alone. I remembered your hugs, your protection...”

You smiled, shaking your head.

“(Y/N), I wanted to live. I accepted the gift from Mother Miranda and the Gods because... if I had died that day, I would never have been able to see you again. I wouldn't be here, seeing the beautiful woman you've become.”

“That's nice, Donna, you always were a romantic girl,” you joked, nudging her boldly.

“Not the way I would have liked,” she murmured in a very low voice.

“I-I should go,” you finally said, after another comfortable silence. “I'm glad to see you, Donna, but I have errands to do.”

“Un... un attimo, (Y/N),” she said, interrupting your departure for the village. “Will you come back someday?”

“Um... I...” You hesitated, but something drew you, something irresistible that made you smile sincerely and nod. “Of course, I'll see you again tomorrow.”

And so it was. Every day you crossed that dangerous territory to reunite with your old friend. The conversations were somewhat awkward at first. Donna Beneviento certainly wasn't the same for many reasons, but deep down, you still saw in her the sweet little girl who was afraid of everything.

Those visits became a pleasant routine that mutated into laughter, experiences, and memories. It became easier and easier to look at that beautiful woman and smile while doing so.

Months passed and everything continued wonderfully and harmoniously, until suddenly, the dollmaker's attitude changed.

Madness stalked her at very specific moments, when you had to leave. You could see the pain in her eye, the desperation that made her believe that if you left, you'd never return. You couldn't blame her for that; you, too, felt sad to be leaving her side.

“Hanna Petrescu?” you commented, amused, while sharing tea with Donna in her old mansion, one that time hadn't passed by. “She didn't do so well, to be honest. She got pregnant by Marius Doric at 16, and I think she's a family woman now.”

“Mm, it seems she didn't deserve to be happy,” Donna commented with a sinister smile, rejoicing in the bullie misfortune.

“You were right, Donna, she was an idiot,” you said, blowing on your teacup. “You were always right... It didn't go so well for me either, to be honest.”

“W-Well... you didn't get pregnant,” she commented innocently, pointing at your belly, clumsily trying to joke.

“No, of course,” you laughed, shaking your head in amusement. “But... even though I can't complain... I've never... well, I've never been truly happy, you know?”

“I don't understand,” Donna whispered, putting her cup down and blinking in confusion. “You deserved to be happy.”

“I'm not so sure,” you sighed, leaning back on the old couch. “I've spent my whole life searching for someone, a true love who would understand me, who would complete me, but look at me, 29 years old and I'm still single.”

“I-I find that hard to believe. You're beautiful,” she said, her voice timid, with a thick accent that betrayed her nervousness.

“Mm, I've always... I've always felt like something was missing, like a part of me I was looking for in other people,” you explained, beginning, with the time you spent with her, to understand what it was that you were missing, what you longed for so much.

“I'm sure... that you'll find it,” Donna said in a somewhat passive tone, looking away from you with a sigh. “I assure you, whoever dares to hurt you, will pay, (Y/N).”

“Oh, so now you're protecting me, huh?” you joked, making the lady in black smile and her cheeks blush slightly. “I like the idea, Donna, a change is nice.”

“(Y/N),” she murmured suddenly, taking your cup from your hands and placing it on the table. “Nothing ever changes. I-I've always felt you by my side, protecting me even when you weren't around. I... I've always... I've felt the same way about you.”

“Donna,” you sighed, leaning closer, letting her hands caress your face erratically. “I think I know what it is I'm missing.”

“What is it?” Donna asked in a whisper, briefly directing her gaze to your lips, her body trembling with nerves due to the closeness.

“I've always missed you,” you said, also looking at her lips, moving closer as if a strange force were pushing you, as if invisible hands were guiding your head towards her, slowly placing your lips on hers.

A sigh escaped her mouth as that kiss ran through your entire body, sending shivers through your limbs, a comfortable and pleasant burning in your stomach, in your chest.

A soft sound interrupted that kiss, as if your lips refused to separate completely. Your eyes were closed, your foreheads pressed together, your skin burning against each other.

“(Y/N),” the brunette whispered, without breaking contact, without opening her eye. “Please tell me this kiss meant something to you, that it wasn't some kind of game.”

“No, Donna, it was never a game to me,” you whispered back. “If there's one thing I regret in all these years, it's… not telling you the truth about that kiss, about what it meant to me, what it means right now… I was so young, and so stupid…”

“I was so in love with you,” she sighed, kissing you briefly again. “I still am, I always will be, (Y/N).”

“Nothing ever changes, does it?” you said, letting a tear form a salty taste in another, deeper kiss. “Maybe… maybe it's not too late to… to love each other, Donna.”

“No, it's not too late,” she denied, continuing to kiss you, slowly, enjoying the contact. “I can't bear to see you leave. I-I can't bear it, amore mio… Stay with me, I beg you…”

“I… I can't do it, Donna,” you said, making her face crumble instantly, held by a gentle caress of your fingers. “I couldn't leave you again, ever.”

The sadness, the fear turned into a radiant smile, followed by kisses, hugs, whispers, apologies, and a joy that fueled the fire burning inside you, and that you learned to ignore.

“Well, it's about time!” a shrill voice startled you, making you go completely pale.

“Yiaaah!” you squealed as you saw something crawling onto the couch, the Angie doll, Donna's old, inseparable doll that moved on its own. “What the…? Angie?”

“It's not just me who's changed, (Y/N),” Donna said, helping you up with a tender smile. “But don't worry, she'll protect you too.”

[cryptidstealingyourcreditcard]

how would you rewrite the nine realms cause it really sucks

okay so it deleted my answer A SECOND TIME, but luckily i screenshotted it beforehand😼😼

tom:

appearance- his eyes are too circular, close together, and slanted. looks inhuman. hair and skin tone are too similar

personality- annoying asf. serious FOMO and makes it everyone else's problem. serious control issues. doesn't let anyone do anything without clearing it with him first, even if it literally doesn't affect him at all. clearly is supposed to fill the role of hiccup, but is way too demanding and "i'm the leader". doesn't trust the dragons to be able to handle themselves (even though they have for thousands of years) and instead interferes way more than hiccup ever would. treats the dragons as objects, instead of actual intelligent beings with their own lives

jun:

appearance- her chin is way too pointy for her face shape, her eyes are purple for some reason, and she literally has no ankles her legs just go from calf straight to feet. also her necklace is never explained???

personality- honestly my least favorite character. makes mythology her whole personality in a "i'm smarter than you and therefore better" way. super condescending and patronizing and pushy. needs to be right all the time. is supposed to fill the role of astrid, but the only thing they have in common is being the main character's love interest. her whole character feels racially motivated toh, along with her mother. the fact that her mom is like three feet tall with an absurdly large hat is just. why.

d'angelo:

appearance- his hair literally defies the laws of physics numerous times???? his dog tags are also never explained.

personality- clearly supposed to be a mix of snotlout and fishlegs, but is failing miserably at it. the whole goody-two-shoes thing is super annoying. just like tom, he can never leave well enough alone with the dragons and always has to interfere. his dedication to his dad is a lot weirder and not thought through very well when you realize that his mom is also there and he just never talks about her.

alex:

appearance- honestly, i don't hate it. i like that she isn't stick-thin like jun is. i hate that her hair ties are actually charging cords, though.

personality- not the worst, actually. she's sarcastic, which i like, but sometimes she takes it too far in a way that just feels like bad writing toh. i do really hate that her whole character is like this caricature of an ipad kid. i liked that she had a whole character arc of getting over her anxiety, but i don't like that it lasted for like a season before it was forgotten.

eugene:

appearance- doesn't even look like jun or their mom???? also has purple eyes???????

personality- again, i don't hate it, but he just feels so shallow personality-wise. is supposed to be a mix of ruffnut & tuffnut, but can't quite pull it off. he's so infuriatingly dumbed down and i can't stand it. also, the way his mom completely babies him is super weird. super narcissistic and stupid. justice for eugene, he was done so dirty.

buzzsaw:

appearance- i?? honestly??? don't know??????

personality- he will never be dagur the deranged. also, beefing with a bunch of kids is super weird??? he's a pathetic villain. even grimmel was a better bad guy than he was, and we've already talked about my hatred for httyd 3. the only reason that he survived as long as he did is because tom and the others refuse to hurt him. like, yeah, i get that hiccup had a whole "no killing" rule, but even he would fight and knock out people and do whatever he had to do.

thunder:

appearance- UGLY ASF. looks inbred. eyes are too large, too close together, and too front facing. head is too boxy and weirdly bumpy at the same time. mouth is too wide. has human eyebrows???? brow bones are too prominent. nose is too flat. chest is too barrel shaped. wings are way too small. tail is just inconvenient tbh. coloring is super weird????? has way too much black on him, considering that toothless was canonically the last night fury and there were multiple other light furies shown in httyd 3. in every other piece of media, the male furies had green eyes and the female furies had blue eyes. by that logic, thunder should've been a girl. also his back legs look more digitigrade than plantigrade, even though furies have digitigrade legs.

personality- he's so dependent???? like. with the way he acts, i would've thought he could never survive in the wild. idk how he did it. like sure, toothless always stuck with hiccup, but he wasn't childishly clingy like thunder is.

wu & wei:

appearance- feels SO racist. their design literally doesn't fit with the rest of the franchise. also, their coloring is just ugly.

personality- their only personality trait is "fight with each other, but only like once an episode and only for comedic relief". they're so bland.

plowhorn:

appearance- i don't hate it- except her eyes. why does she have human eyes.

personality- again, she literally has no personality, she's just there. also i HATE the fact that her fire is referred to as "loogies". why is she the only blue gembreaker???? that just feels like bad designing.

feathers:

appearance- i actually like her design, mostly. she's cute. i will say, though, that half of the scenes she's in, her eyes are looking in completely different directions.

personality- i like that she and alex help each other with their anxieties, but besides that, she doesn't have a lot of personality either. it's almost like all of the thought and effort was put into making thunder a "lovable" character, and the rest of the dragons just got the scraps of character that were left. also she doesn't utilize her invisibility nearly as much as she could.

webmaster:

appearance- skrunkly. his head’s a little too round, and his neck a little too thin, but he's not too bad. honestly should've been a silkspanner instead of whatever shitty new species he is.

personality- he's actually pretty sweet. he is kind of dumb, but it's kind of cute. he could use a little more personality, though.

there are a lot of inconsistencies, too, like how apparently hiccup and the riders moved to the hidden world???? the whole 9 realms concept just didn't work as well as it probably hoped to. hiccup's shield just clearly isn't his shield, jormungandr is smaller than a submaripper (and certainly not long enough to wrap around the whole world), and the dragon book somehow survived and is perfectly pristine centuries after it was made.

there are definitely more, but i can't remember them right now.

[stargirllt]

hi star! i saw that you write for spencer and I just read your responses to the other two spencer requests, they're so cute!! :) i was wondering if i could request a fic where spencer and reader are long time best friends and they both like each other, and then one night something causes spencer to confess his feelings to reader and it's just really cute and fluffy, could end with smut if you want but no worries if not!

hi!! i really enjoyed writing this so thank you for sending it!!

fem!reader x bsf spencer agnew, smut, sub!reader, softdom!spencer, fluff

MDNI

You hummed softly while you drove to Spencer's apartment to pick him up, expecting it to be a normal night, the ones you usually have with him.

As you pull up to his house, you call him. Per usual, he responds instantly.

"hey spence, im outside."

"okay, i'll be out in a sec."

You watch him walk out the door and hang up at the same time. The past few months, all you've been able to think about when you look at him is how he would look growing old. Those thoughts slowly evolved into him growing old next to you, grandkids running around the house, living out by the beach, taking walks by the beach with your dogs, it just sounds so perfect. Even more perfect to imagine it with him.

Thoughts of the world you've created for the both of you rush back to you when he opens the car door and then they go away when he snaps in your face. 

"hello? y/n/n? are you here?" 

"huh? oh im sorry, yeah"

"are you okay? you've seemed a bit, off, recently."

"I'm okay. You know, you've been off, too"

You can almost see the panic in his face despite it being a dumb ploy to get him off your back. For a moment, you meet eyes with him, and can't help but wonder if he's thinking the same thing you are. But, you get a spam call before you can say anything.

"we should probably go." You speak, he nods, you drive back to your house.

When you get there you decide to paint each other and order takeout. You pick watercolor and he uses with oil pastels, claiming they're easier because they're just like crayons but better.

While painting him, you let it slip that he has just the right face for your painting, causing something unexpected.

"you have a really good face for painting, like its just easy."

"nah, you probably made me look ugly, like a swamp monster or something."

"excuse me?? mine is so realistic, it's perfect!!"

"oh so you think i'm perfect?"

"n-no, thats- no, thats not what i said"

"woah, are you like choking or something??"

You both laugh when he says that. And in this moment, your thoughts of being with him forever rush back, scaring you into silence.

"okay, but like, real talk, can I tell you something, y/n?"

"of course, whats up?"

"i need you to promise something first, okay?"

"okay..?"

"promise that this wont change anything if you aren't okay with it."

"i promise, i love you, and nothing will change that."

"well um, i love you too. just in a different way. i keep getting these flashes of us growing old, living on some beach with like, a thousand grandkids. it sounds stupid but its made me realize that i love you. this is a different kind of love, this kind of love wont fade. i can feel it."

"oh thank god," you sigh out, relieved that he was feeling the same way.

"no joke, i have been getting the exact same flashes. its almost like some distant memory, and the people in them are so familiar but they don't exist yet."

"are you serious?"

"yeah, im so serious right now."

"well, i dont see any reason that we can't start trying to make those people exist." he giggles and then stops, having to retry that phrasing. "wait, i meant the kids and grandkids not us, that wouldn't make any sense-"

"spencer"

"yeah okay, can we fuck?"

instead of a reply, you laugh, hard, then kiss him. he grabs both sides of your face, immediately deepening the kiss.

"please, Spencer,"

"holy shit, yeah, i've got you," he moves his kisses down your body, stopping at your shirt, glancing up at you for permission.

"yeah, go ahead,"

he did as told, pulling your shirt over your head. then, as expected, he continued his kisses further down. so far down that he has to get on his knees.

he places his hands on your hips, halting his kisses to look up and you.

"can i?"

"yeah," you reply and give a small nod towards the couch. he stands and walks over to the couch, waiting patiently while you strip for him. Once fully bare and ready for him, you sit down on the couch. he sinks to his knees in front of you, spreads your legs, hooks his arms under your thighs and ass, and pulls you to the edge of the couch. Now that he has you right where he wants you, he goes in tongue first. 

Immediately, he's got a rhythm to his licks. Soon after, he slowly prods at your open cunt with his middle finger before slipping it inside. he revels in the noises you make for him when you're about to cum. right then is when he pulls back completely, leaving you whining his name under him.

"Spencer please, you're so good. please let me cum,"

"not yet, want you to cum on my cock."

you shiver slightly at his words, imagining what that would be like. Apparently you were so engrossed in your fantasy that you failed to realize that he was fully naked now, directly in front of you. he had his dick in hand and he would've already been inside you if it weren't for his awareness.

"baby, are you ready?"

"mhm, yes please,"

Instead of responding, he just pushes into you. When he bottoms out, he lets out a loud groan and you cant help but do the same.

"oh you're so good, spence."

he just quietly whines in return.

he eventually sets a good pace after teasing for, what you consider to be, far too long. the whole time, he has you moaning under him, only spurring him further into you.

He leans down and kisses you soft and sweet, contradictory to the way he's pounding you. That alone makes you cum, your tight cunt squeezing him, making him finish directly after.

You both just lie there for a while, enjoying each other's presence and getting even more used to the way it'll be forever.

[bnhaobservation]

@yuka-todoroki said:

So what's your take on her saying "Shouto is our family's hero" and her saying "we are all to blame for Touya's descend to villainy" including her kids who were just kids back then who couldn't do anything about Touya's situation?

I think I've answered to the first question already in this ask so I hope you'll forgive me if I'll just ask you to read that reply.

Regarding to the second part I think there are three points to consider.

First: the chapter was retconned between the magazine version and the volume version... and the Todoroki plot itself was likely retconned more than once through the story.

Horikoshi's attempt to push the blame on the whole family is an idea he came up with later in the story and one he didn't work over well but it's one he wanted and most of what happens in those chapters is there more due to Doylist purposes than Watsonian ones and while I do love the Todoroki family with a passion, I can't really say he did a great work with them, especially in those chapters.

Second: It's objectively true all the family (except Shouto who had no contact with his brother) could have done more to help Touya and the story remarks a lot how a small thing could actually save the day.

If Natsuo or Fuyumi had helped Touya more, maybe he wouldn't have gone to Sekoto Peak that day.

Do I think they're to blame for this?

No, they were kids they couldn't know better, Touya's parents were the ones who had the main responsibility to take care of Touya, but manga often do not care about this and merely focus on a cause-effect relation. What's more, culturally younger siblings were meant to support their big brother so in Japan they're likely seen less innocent than they would look like in my country where minors have zero responsibility/duty to support anyone.

Lastly, as this is a story aimed to minors, teaching them that their actions would have consequences they would regret in future to Horikoshi felt probably like a valid plot point, something more important to tell to them than 'hey but you're a kid and you shouldn't feel guilty for something that's mainly your parents' fault'. Many authors also do the same as Horikoshi.

I do wish though Horikoshi had handled it better.

Third: forgive me if I'm misunderstanding you but, from the way you put it, you make it sound as if Rei is blaming her own kids for what Touya decided to do when, to me she's just acknowledging their feelings.

Before going to talk with Enji, Rei has talked with her children (we know Rei, Fuyumi and Natsuo went to Shouto first and talked with him and it stands to reason Rei might also have talked with Fuyumi and Natsuo before going to Shouto).

They're no more kids, they're adult and they feel they could have done something, that they are responsible, which is ABSOLUTELY A NORMAL FEELING (normal humans do tend to feel guilty in such situations, even when they aren't to blame) and is also why they are ALL willing to stand there and share the blame with Enji, in order to support him so he'll have the strength to go and fight Dabi.

By the way group responsibility is another big part of Japanese culture.

Now we can argue that yes, Rei could have told them, no, you aren't to blame, you were kids at the time, the one at fault are just me and your father. Maybe she did in an off screen discussion since this is not the first time they talked about it.

Including a discussion that would go 'no, you aren't to blame, you were kids' 'but, mom, we feel guilty anyway and we want to share the blame and you can't stop us' 'okay, I'll accept this' would have been redundant in the story. It would have changed nothing beyond the fact it would have taken space and possibly distrupt the mood of the family coming together, because the plan is to have the whole Todoroki family is meant to take responsibility (said this, outside of a narrative need, it would have been good to have such discussion and many others but a story tend to show only what's necessary for the plot, not what would have been good to see... even if sometimes Horikoshi just cut things too much so that the plot feels forced).

Horikoshi did have something similar in chap. 426 where we waste a page in everyone saying to everyone else 'you shouldn't have come (as it's not your responsibility to deal with Touya)' only for Shouto to finally silence everyone saying 'we're not here out of a sense of duty' and it's there to remark that they're there because they care for Touya but it's also wasted time that could have been used better to drive the point they care home.

Anyway, from that bit in chap. 426, you can figure Rei didn't judge her kids were to blame for what happened to Touya as she tells them they didn't have to be there, that's not their duty to be there. If she had considered them responsible she would have told them they had to be there. She didn't even want them to risk their life in attempting to stop Touya.

Part of chap. 302 point is that everyone is finally taking his own individual responsibility for what happened to Touya. Rei is taking HER OWN responsibility, which is also what will lead her to apologize to Touya in chap 388. Chap 302 is meant to be a moment of personal growth in all the members of the Todoroki family, who finally face their own actions and how they had negative consequences, if she were to push the blame on other people, it would ruin Rei's personal growth.

Long story short, Horikoshi didn't have Rei say such things because he wanted her to look a bad mother, especially not in chap 302. She's someone who made mistakes but she was meant to be a loving mom even if yes, the way he skipped on some scenes who could have helped driving this home weren't great.

Credits when it's due, Rei isn't a character he cared much about, to the point at first he didn't even give her a name (we've to wait chap 187 in order to have her name) or a profile (where Bakugou and Jirou's parents, the Masegaki school teacher and EVEN KURUMADA have it) so it sadly makes sense he didn't really devote much time on her. She was created to give Shouto a dramatic backstory and, for a while Horikoshi hadn't known what to do with her beyond this, probably he didn't plan to do something with her, until he decided Enji wouldn't die in the first war and the Todoroki family would have an arc of its own.

So yeah, Rei's presentation is messy but I genuinely think Horikoshi didn't mean to depict her as a bad mother. Of course though, this is just me, everyone can interpret things differently.

Thank you for your ask!

Was Rei a bad mother or not?

Maybe I’ve bad luck but I often happen to stumble into this debate. Some want to paint her like a saint, some want to paint her like a monster, some have more moderate opinions.

Credits when it’s due, Todoroki Rei is clearly the least explored Todoroki in the manga. She doesn't even have a profile yet!

While part of the reason clearly rest on how this is well, a story about Heroes aimed to male Japanese teenagers in which even the main character’s mother hardly get some digging so it’s kind of to be expected she wouldn’t get much digging as well, there are likely other reasons at play, which are important because they influence the way the facts are presented to us.

The first is that likely originally she wasn’t planned to have a big role, part of it is likely because some things about Rei are related to stereotypes well known in Japan who don’t need to be explained to Japanese readers (but the same can’t be said to westerns), part of it is because.

So, before answering to the starting question let’s dig into those two reasons.

Which was meant to be Rei’s role in the story originally?

Likely solely to be the source of Shouto’s drama.

In the prototype Shouto was meant to go so far as to hate her (and long for his father’s love)...

...then things were turned over and he ended up hating his father and loving his mother but Rei’s role didn’t change much, Shouto suffers for her condition and mainly feels anger toward his father DUE TO WHAT HE DID TO HIS MOTHER, which means Rei is still the source of Shouto’s drama (along with Enji, of course). Even as the story will go on, Shouto will claim his main reason for having troubles to forgive him is what Rei suffered… and he feels confuse on what to do when he discovers his mother instead wants to forgive his father, leaving him at loss on what to do.

At the time of the U.A. sport festival, when Shouto’s past was shown, the Touya/Dabi plot either wasn’t planned at all or it was just an embryo.

That’s why there seems to be a clash in how in chap. 39 she claims she can’t take care of the children and single out Shouto’s specifically for how his left side reminds her of Enji...

...when in chap. 302 it was Touya’s gaze what freaked her out...

...while Shouto was the only one in the family trying to protect her.

The whole chap 302 didn’t exist yet in Horikoshi’s mind when chap 39 was planned, possibly the whole Touya/Dabi plotline wasn’t planned yet, so everything ends up on circling around Shouto.

Later on, when the Touya/Dabi plotline was more or less set, it was still likely that Horikoshi didn’t plan to involve Rei much in it, as in chap 250 Fuyumi said her mother was hospitalized BEFORE Touya burned himself.

This would have made possible a plotline in which Rei supported both Shouto and Touya and her being hospitalized and therefore being absent could have contributed to the Touya tragedy.

However, when creating chap 301/302 for the magazine, Horikoshi decided that Rei would still be around when Touya died, so that Enji’s escalation toward her and Shouto could be blamed to the loss of his son…

...only to go back to the first plan when someone pointed the retcon out, so that in the volume version Rei gets hospitalized BEFORE Touya’s assumed death.

All those changes ends up conflicting with previously established facts, making them confusing if we try to look at them all at the same time, which can make harder for some readers to understand Rei’s role.

To understand which kind of mother Horikoshi wanted to portray we’ve to look at her story in blocks, not as a single, streamlined narration.

We can, of course, try to connect each fact and work out a Watsonian explanation for what doesn’t work, but this might lead us astray on understanding which kind of characterization Horikoshi was aiming to give her in each sector and add to them some info about Japanese culture which might help us to get a better picture of how he meant for us to read Rei.

So how I’m going to tackle Rei?

I’ll try to list and analyze each single accusation I saw being moved at her, looking at what the narrative says but also looking at the cultural contest in which her actions are meant to be read. While it’s likely not going to be a perfect analysis for the reasons mentioned above, I still hope people will get a better picture of Rei.

I’ll also make a premise about the ‘timeline’ in this, aka more or less when facts happens. Yeah, the info I’ll give you are canon (according to the manga volume version, anime and magazine version follow different timelines), I won’t quote the sources so as not to make the post unnecessarily loaded.

Enji married after he turned 20 and prior to turning 22.

Touya was conceived around April in the year in which Enji would turn 22 and had birth in January in the following year. Fuyumi was conceived in the same year in which Touya had birth, around March and was born always in that same year in December.

Touya’s Quirk started to burn him when he was 3, likely in summer, meaning he started training at 3 or younger. That’s because Natsuo is conceived AFTER Touya started to burn himself, when Touya  still 3, around October, and has birth the following year, in July when Tōya is 4, Fuyumi would turn 4 and Enji would turn 27.

Shouto is conceived April, in the year in which Tōya has turned 7, Fuyumi would turn 7, Natsuo would turn 3 and Enji would turn 30 and has birth the following year in January, some days before Touya would turn 8. Short after Shouto is born, his siblings are forbidden to interact with him.

Rei snaps in winter, when Touya is 13, Shouto is 5, Natsuo has turned 9 and Fuyumi has just turned 13 and Enji is 36. By the volume version canon, Touya dies short after, while he’s still 13 (though he should have been close to turn 14).

Shouto will visit his mother in May when he’s 15. By then Touya is 23, Natsuo is 18 but about to turn 19 and Fuyumi is 22 but about to turn 23. Enji is 45 about to turn 46.

So let’s start with the list.

REI IS A BAD MOTHER BECAUSE SHE ACCEPTED TO MARRY ENJI DESPITE KNOWING HE WANTED TO USE HER CHILDREN TO FULFILL HIS GOALS GOING SO FAR AS CHOSING HER TO TRY TO CREATE THE PERFECT MIX OF QUIRKS.

So, let’s start with something important culturally.

Before deciding if Rei is or not a good mother, let’s accept Rei was a ‘good daughter’.

Why good daughter is between quotation marks? I’ll get at it.

Even though her father and family head didn’t force her, she sacrificed herself for the well being of her birth family. As it was expected of her being the daughter of a traditional Japanese family. No one likely found what she did admirable or exceptionally good. Doing that was part of the standard expectations traditional Japanese families like the Himuras had for their children.

Let me introduce you to ‘Oyakoko’ (親孝行 “filial piety”), an important Buddhist virtue of respecting and caring for one’s parents and that therefore requires the children ‘to be good’ to their parents, often through acts of great respect, kindness and support. It might sound nice but, although things are changing currently, in the past this meant doing what the parents wanted, including marrying who they were to pick up for you, continuing the family business or fulfilling their dreams.

Also let me talk to you about ‘Sanjū Shitoku’ (三従四徳 “The three obediences and four virtues”), a set of moral principles and social code of behavior for maidens and married women in East Asian Confucianism. In specific the three obediences instruct that a woman is obligated not to act on her own initiative and, at home, she must submissively obey or follow her father’s orders before getting married, her husband’s after getting married, and her sons’ after her husband’s death.

When Touya, in chap 302, says Rei had no choices, he’s likely not referring to the fact someone pointed a gun to her head or that she was dragged to the altar kicking and screaming. He’s referring to the fact that even if Rei, as she’ll say, was given ‘options’, the only option socially acceptable for her was to marry the guy who would fix her family’s economical troubles. As a good daughter she HAD to pick up the option that was best not for herself but for her birth family.

The result of Rei being educated into this being what a ‘good daughter’ would do, is that she likely expected her children to also be ‘good children’.

In short, she wasn’t educated to think that Enji wanting them for a specific purpose should have been a sign that should have caused warning bells to ring in her head but something totally socially acceptable, and that she was expected to raise ‘good kids’ who would want to do this for Enji the same way she had done this for her parents.

Things are changing in Japan too, but still, to Rei to hear a man claiming he wanted her to sire kids for his own goal wasn’t meant to sound creepy. It was a normal part of an Omiai marriage, a marriage that’s not based on love (in the past in Japan it was believed marriages based on love were meant to fail) but on how beneficial the marriage would be to the families of the two spouses, a marriage that still exists in Japan (even if it’s slowly disappearing). And yes, Omiai marriages include checking the genetic pool of the wanna be spouse, even if normally one looks for genetic illness (physical and psychological), for lack of blood purity (the person isn’t purely Japanese) or for relations with people that are considered outcasts in Japan (like the burakumin).

So Horikoshi doesn’t mean to portray her as a bad mother because she merely followed social conventions, he just points out the downsides of said social conventions.

REI IS A BAD MOTHER BECAUSE KEPT ON SIRING CHILDREN WHEN TOUYA TURNED OUT NOT BEING ABLE TO FULFILL ENJI’S DREAM

Back to the ‘Sanjū Shitoku’ (三従四徳 “The three obediences and four virtues”) we go.

Rei was meant to follow Enji’s wishes, to keep the harmony in the house, the fact she actually argues against them, saying it would be “too cruel” and tries to change his mind speaks volumes for how she actually cared about Touya.

In reply Enji says they’re doing this for Touya, claiming this will make him stop training himself. This corners Rei as, not only she shouldn’t question her husband’s decisions and yet she’s questioning them but she’s also called to choose between her son’s psychological well being and her son’s physical well being. If this work Touya will stop burning himself. This is a good thing.

At the same time though, Rei was likely also put pressure by how she seems to realize Enji too, like Touya, won’t stop wishing for someone to beat All Might. Enji’s words aren’t completely selfless, he thinks by having another child he’ll kill two birds with one stone, he’ll have a heir who’ll surpass All Might, and this will put him to rest, and Touya will also be forced to quit. Now a friendly reminder this is not a post about Enji, it’s about Rei, so I won’t discuss Enji’s actions more than necessary as they’ll deserve their own post.

We see at this point Rei doesn’t question him anymore. She likely slips into the role of the ‘obedient wife’ and does what her husband asks of her even if she’s not fully persuaded it’s a good choice.

REI IS A BAD MOTHER BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T LOOK AT TOUYA, WHO KEEPS ON BURNING HIMSELF

Yes and no.

In Japan is believed looking after the children is solely a mother’s job, so yes, she wasn’t looking after Touya well enough.

However she had another child to look at who’s smaller than Touya and Japan doesn’t believe in the need to supervise small children (they had recently rejected a law which proposed to make mandatory for parents not to leave unsupervised kids of 8 and younger).

Look at the opening of the manga/anime.

Midoriya, Bakugou and their friends are alone at the park. There’s no adult supervising them, which allows Bakugou and his friends to beat up Midoriya without anyone stopping them. The playground isn’t far from Midoriya’s home but not close to it either (we can see Midoriya’s home in the distance). Inko is a housewife so it’s not like she’s at work yet, same as all the mothers of all those kids, she’s not under any obligation to look at her 4-year-old child.

In my country it would be a crime, we can’t leave 4 years old unattended. In Japan it’s okay.

This translates in 3-year-old Touya saying he’ll go play at some park in the neighborhood and Rei not feeling compelled to go with him to make sure he won’t instead go somewhere else to train himself and remaining at home to look after Fuyumi, who’s 11 months younger.

Rei getting pregnant again and then having to take care to a newborn only makes things more complicate. Natsuo has birth when Touya is 4

For general knowledge I’ll tell you it’s a terrible choice to have another child when you’ve troubles looking after the ones you have, because adding another child to the family means diverting a lot of energies and attentions on the new child, who’s a newborn with plenty of needs, depleting the resources you previously had to use solely for the children you previous had.

Pregnancy is already energy consuming and the more you advance in it, the less you’ll be comfortable moving around, never mentioning the appointments to the doctors that take time.

Childbirth can put a mother out of commission for some days, as many deliver in hospital and spend there the first days and, once they’re back home, not only they often aren’t back in full strength but they’ve an extremely needy infant to look after, an infant who needs to be feed, changed, lulled to sleep often and regularly and that can decide to keep you up at night.

If Rei had troubles looking after Touya when she only had to split her attentions between Touya and Fuyumi, who are young and would need plenty of attentions even if Touya weren’t having troubles copying with the situation, try to picture how things become messy when Natsuo is thrown in the mix.

And then, 3 years and a half later, Shouto is also thrown in the mix. Rinse and repeat what I’ve said above only now with more kids to look after and with Touya’s psychological health in an even worse place.

As if this wasn’t bad enough, Enji decides Shouto should be kept apart from his other siblings. Meaning Rei can’t anymore gather all her children in a single room and look at them there, but she has to keep them in two different rooms and since she doesn’t have the gift of ubiquity and Shouto is smaller and more needy she’ll have to spend more time with him than with her other children… which is exactly what Natsuo in “School Briefs” reports.

All of sudden his mother had no time for him anymore as she’s busy taking care of Shouto. If she had no time for 3-year-old Natsuo, it’s hard she could find the time for 8-year-old Touya, even though Enji insisted on how she should look at Touya.

The situation worsen further when Enji starts training Shouto and the training turns out to be too much for a child of 5.

In an attempt to protect Shouto she argues with Enji, gets hit, her psychological health start to deteriorate, things start becoming too much for her.

Her situation is one in which she’s constantly asked to choose which child she should prioritize as she can’t keep them together and she can’t be in different places at the same time.

She prioritizes Shouto, who’s younger. It doesn’t mean she didn’t care anymore for all her other children. In Touya’s case she’s specifically shown trying to persuade Touya not to go training, so it’s not like she had completely given up on looking after him. We also learn Touya now trained with body parts he could easily cover with his clothes, so that his parents couldn’t realize he was training so while she could guess the situation still wasn’t good, she had not a clear grasp of how bad it was.

Touya needed more, Fuyumi needed more, Natsuo needed more, even Shouto needed more, that’s true but the real question is ‘could she give more?’

What’s more she had chosen to prioritize Shouto’s well being over Touya when Enji basically told her to do the opposite (get out of his way when he was training Shouto and keep her eyes on Touya) so she ultimately disobeyed her husband, failing her duties as a wife.

Ultimately Rei snaps because she couldn’t bear giving any longer. The pressure, combined with the physical abuse, had turned too much for her. Society won’t be kind with her if it were to know as in Japan people are expected to endure and if they snap they’re only weak and have themselves to blame, an idea which likely added to the pressure she was already feeling.

So yes, by Japanese society’s standards she didn’t do enough.

Her children though, all view her as a loving mother. Even Touya regrets snapping at her.

Her failing to handle the situation correctly it’s more because the situation is for her too big to handle than due to a lack of will.

REI IS A BAD MOTHER BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T ASK FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP FOR HERSELF OR FOR TOUYA

In Japan there’s a strong stigma on therapy and psychological help which carries along a connotation of shame as it’s generally seen as something only ‘crazy people go’. Remember when we were talking about the Omiai? Having a family member who had/had had psychological problems is one of the reasons that can make you unsuitable as a spouse in an Omiai.

Long story short, even if it’s possible to get psychological help, people don’t want it.

Parents are lead to think it’s up to them care for their children and, if they’re in troubles they ask for counseling from school or their elders or read self-help books (啓発本 ‘Keihatsu hon’ or, for full 自己啓発書 ‘jiko keihatsu-sho’)… like Touya said Rei was doing.

This was the acceptable way to get psychological help, Rei reading self-help books and trying to put them into practice to help herself and her children.

When things become too much she’s also shown asking her own mother for help and advices… though by then it was too late.

REI IS A BAD MOTHER BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T DIVORCE FROM ENJI AND TAKE HER CHILDREN AWAY FROM HIM

In Japan divorcing from the other party is rather hard if your spouse doesn’t give you permission, and it’s extremely shameful for the woman, regardless of who’s at fault, and even for the children. Plus, in case your spouse agree to it, only one parent can be the children’s guardian.

If divorcing from Rei meant to give up on the custody of the children, especially Shouto, so that Enji wouldn’t be able to train him anymore, well, you can easily guess he wouldn’t agree to it.

At the very best the most Rei would accomplish would be take Touya, Fuyumi and Natsuo with herself, toss on herself and her children shame and leave behind Shouto.

Yes, if the woman is abused by the husband it can help her get a divorce even if he doesn’t agree with it. However from when BNHA has started things have improved in Japan (both in terms of divorce and support in case of abuse) and Japanese women still lament how hard it is for them to prove they were abused and to get help to leave their husband (a protection order is generally issued solely if they can prove they fear for their own life).

It’s not because Enji is a rich Hero who knows people in the police that Rei doesn’t divorce from him. It’s because he’s a Japanese male and she’s a Japanese female and this makes her chances to get a divorce extremely slim.

REI IS A BAD MOTHER BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T REPORT THE ABUSE HER CHILDREN RECEIVED

Remember when I said for a woman is hard to prove she was abused?

To prove the children were abused is HARDER.

First of all, in Japan there’s the general belief a father doesn’t have to get involved in raising his children, so if Enji says he has no time to look after Touya, Fuyumi and Natsuo… well, he’s not to blame, it’s up to the mother to take care of them. Enji is doing his part by working and paying for what they need. Things are changing but you get the drill. No one will scold him for working till late and not having time to look after his kids when that should be Rei’s job in the first place.

Okay but what about Shouto?

The law that forbids parents from hitting children is recent, when BNHA started it wasn’t yet in place and, while back then too you couldn’t abuse your kid, exactly because you could hit him it was hard to prove when you’ve crossed the line or when you were just administering educative punishment. That’s why a law now ban physical punishment, because kids died due to it.

But that’s not the core of the problem.

While abuse of children is prohibited in Japan, there are no laws that explicitly extend this prohibition to training.

Human Rights Watch interviewed and surveyed more than 800 former child athletes from Japan for a 2020 report. Athletes from 50 sports described sexual violence, and being beaten, deprived of water, choked, and whipped with whistles or racquets. Athletes spoke of the “normalization” of these abuses, the lack of systems to report or seek remedies, and the absence of accountability throughout Japanese schools, federations, and elite sports. By the way, plenty of kids had been driven to suicide due to it.

While Enji’s training isn’t related to sport, we see that BNHA compares Hero training to sport training, right from Shouto’s first day at U.A. high. Very likely they’re meant to be viewed as equivalent.

Long story short, it doesn’t matter what Enji does to Shouto during training. It will be likely waved off as training.

In the end there’s little Rei could report that would have helped her to protect her children.

REI IS A BAD MOTHER BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T CARE ABOUT TOUYA

It’s true we don’t get cute scenes between Touya and Rei like we get for her and Shouto. She’s not shown soothing him as he cries, she’s not shown watching TV with him behind Enji’s back, she’s not shown telling him he can be a hero.

She’s however shown caring about him.

Enji wanted to have Fuyumi because he wanted a child with a dual Quirk, but she was in favor of having her because she thought she would support Touya (and he would support her).

As mentioned before she was against having other children after it turned out Touya’s Quirk hurt him, because she thought it would be cruel toward Touya and argued with Enji about it (remember? She’s supposed to obey, not argue).

When Touya argues with Enji, she’s worried Touya is overheating and would want to cool him down.

After Touya attacked Shouto, to Enji’s solution to just keep the children parted, she insists Touya just wants for him to look at him, basically defending her son’s side. As he refuses she basically accuses him of cowardice (and here she’s taking her son’s side over her husband’s side).

Much later she tried to stop Touya from going to Sekoto Peak and tried to encourage him to play with his classmates.

She likely reads ‘self-help books’ also to try and find a way to help him.

She tries to talk with him and encourage him to become something different that’s not a Hero, fundamentally telling him it’s okay if he doesn’t fulfill his social role as Enji’s firstborn.

When, at the hospital, she hears he died she gets even worse.

When Touya tried to nuke Japan she apologized to him, tried to cool him down so as to save him or else die with him and later, went to visit him and told him she wanted to talk with him.

I’ll say all of the above are pretty good signs she cared for him and loved him.

REI IS A BAD MOTHER BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T UNDERSTAND TOUYA

Yeah, she didn’t understand him.

She didn’t encourage his dream to become a Hero, thinking only it would be bad for his health.

She wants him to socialize when instead he only wants to train.

She also made it look as if it would be easy for him to give up on social conventions when she herself ended up where she was due to social conventions.

She knows he’s suffering due to Enji’s neglect but doesn’t admit it to his face, as if this wasn’t part of the problem, as if he could just ignore this.

Ironically part of this comes from her wish to help him.

Protecting his physical health is important, but prioritizing it over his psychological health ends up equally damning.

She wants him to socialize, which is important for a child’s growth, not understanding what Touya had told Enji when he was 8, all the children in his class want to be Heroes, while it can be Touya isn’t as bullied as Midoriya was because he’s not Quirkless, he likely feels like an outcast just the same. Differently from what his parents hope, other children won’t distract him from his dream of being a Hero when they too want to become Heroes, they likely expect Endeavor’s firstborn to become one, accidentally pressuring him more, and if he were to reveal he can he likely feels they would shun him out as defective the same way his father did so he shun them out first. Probably when Enji and Rei were young there wasn’t all this wish to become Heroes but now it exists and Touya has to deal with it and they don’t understand it.

She likely though she was being supportive in encouraging him to give up on social conventions the way she couldn’t do, not realizing (or better not wanting to realize) instead not only how hard it would be for him to do it but how that’s not his only motivator.

She blames his dream on Enji, on social conventions, hoping to make easier for him to drop it, basically denying him agency in what he wants.

So, while she tells to both Touya and Shouto they shouldn’t feel tied by Enji’s blood, her speech to Touya is a big fail because although it’s moved by the same wish to help him same as Shouto, her goal here wasn’t to encourage Touya to do what he truly wanted but what she thought it would be better for him.

She doesn’t want to believe he wants to be a Hero despite Touya spending years saying he wants to be one, because she doesn’t believe he can become one. Hence she wants him to find for himself another way. When she talks with Shouto instead, she encouraged him to become a Hero on his terms, which was exactly what Shouto wanted to do. She didn’t question his wish to become a Hero, even if Shouto is 5.

In a way Rei is like Inko before Midoriya got One for All.

They both gave up on their children’s dream and didn’t support them. Inko will get the chance to change her mind. Rei won’t be given such opportunity. Both mothers though weren’t moved by ill will toward their children but by genuine belief their dream couldn’t be fulfilled so they wanted their children to just move on instead than keep on focusing on such dreams.

REI IS A BAD MOTHER BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO LEAVE HER KIDS

Yes, she wants to leave them because she has started to realize she’s becoming unstable and could become dangerous for them. As said before in Japan there’s a stigma on getting psychological help so she’s trying to get help from a more acceptable source, her mother.

Still she wants to leave her children to protect them, not to hurt them, even though Shouto is clearly hurt when he hears her saying so.

REI IS A BAD MOTHER BECAUSE SHE HURT SHOUTO

Yes, Rei threw boiling water at Shouto but the point is… she didn’t know she was throwing boiling water at Shouto. She was getting paranoid and seeing Enji in her children, Enji who physically abused of her. From her absolutely panicked face we can tell she thinks she’s throwing the water at Enji in self defense because he might have heard her conversation with her mother and might be angry.

The moment she realize the one she burned was Shouto she broke down in sobs, apologized multiple times and tried to soothe the burn.

She never meant to attack her child, in a way it was an accident she ended up scarring Shouto.

REI IS A BAD MOTHER BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T TAKE THE BLAME FOR HURTING SHOUTO

Hum… actually she did.

As said above the moment she realized she hurt him she started crying and apologizing (yes the anime doesn’t show the scene but it allows you to hear the audio of it).

Much later, when Shouto went to visit her to the hospital planning to apologize to her, she apologized to him again, crying.

She also acknowledges having been the one who hurt Shouto when Hawks asked about the scar.

Shouto blames Enji for the scar he has because he understands if Enji didn’t corner and abuse Rei she wouldn’t have snapped, panicked and hurt him by mistake, because he understands in normal conditions Rei wouldn’t have hurt him. It’s not like he does so because his mother told him to.

And, with this, we’re at the end.

So was Rei a saint or a monster?

In media stat virtus.

She clearly wasn’t a perfect mother, she made mistakes, some of them pretty big, partly because social conventions taught her the wrong way to react to something, partly because the situation was too big and difficult for her to handle and she just failed to do so.

However she loved her children, she wanted the best for them and she tried to prioritize them over herself even if sometimes she didn’t know what was the best for them.

She was a single woman forced to bear too much, so in the end she broke and made matters worse. Way before Midoriya went through the Dark Hero arc, Rei tried at it but since no Class A came to support her she broke and failed.

It’s part of the BNHA message, there are things we can’t handle alone, we need a helping hand or we’ll break.

It’s absolutely fair to say she made mistakes, that she took bad choices, that she failed to understand some important things, that in deciding Shouto was the one who needed more protection, she ended up on neglecting her other children. But I also think it’s important to acknowledge that said mistakes weren’t done because she was evil or selfish or didn’t love her kids. In the end she was just a lone woman in a situation too difficult for her to handle, so difficult she ultimately failed handling it and the consequences she had to face for her failure were horrible and ended up affecting her children as well.

Horikoshi didn’t want to portray an evil woman or a saint, just a woman making mistakes and cracking in a difficult situation.

If you still think it would have been easy for her to get psychological help, divorce or protect her children, I encourage you to research on Japanese laws, especially the ones around the time in which her story was being written (as said before some laws have been improved recently). It might help you get a better perspective of how hard things were for her and how much she still tried.