#and i can write sometimes
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toji being all bundled up in his winter coat with a pretty green scarf around his neck (that you gifted him btw). his nose is red and his cheeks even redder as he taps his foot on the crunchy snow. he's waiting for you.
with his hands stuffed into his pockets, he hides from the cold bite while eyeing the passersby with furrowed brows, and even though the scarf hides the lower half of his face, you know he's wearing a sort of scowl. it's closer to a pout more than anything, but you won't mention it. his ears perk up at the sound of your voice calling his name and you feel warm at the sight of his face lighting up just a bit. it's cute. it's cute that he's so excited to see you.
he meets you halfway, his hands reaching for you as you close the distance between you. it's a quiet greeting, a very simple 'hi' accompanied by his scarred lips pressing against your temple as you hug him. in his arms, you feel safe. you feel at home. when he pulls away, he takes a second to look at you – the stars in your eyes, the bashful smile on your lips. toji thinks you look pretty as ever.
but his cute little daydream doesn't last.
a gasp makes its way out of the depths of his throat the second your hands cup his face, your frozen fingers sending shivers down his back.
the look on his face makes you giggle and the sound makes him furrow his brows again in return. he clicks his tongue. "you'll freeze to death."
"you'll save me."
he shakes his head with a sigh but takes your hands into his nonetheless. while keeping his, now very determined, eyes on your fingers, he brings them up to his face and gently blows warm air on them.
you hum. "my saviour."
the tips of his ears burn – his nose, his cheeks, but surely it's just because of the cold and because of his teasing lover. surely.
you see the grin he's so desperately trying to hold back and laugh at him once more. "my hero."
he grumbles. "be quiet."
he's still holding your hands, he's still warming them up. there isn't even an inkling of thought about letting you go, about letting your poor little fingers freeze. he will hold onto you for the entirety of the walk that's ahead of you. so he can keep you warm. and not because he so desperately wants to hold your fucking hand. it's not that. no way.
you lean up your toes while intertwining your fingers with his, and with no questions asked, he bends over to close the gap between you again. this is how it works. love.
a pair of cold lips meet the tip of his nose and toji lets his eyes fall shut at the sweet touch. he lets out a relieved sigh, a content one, and savours the way you smile against him. a kiss, and then another. a haste one to his lips before pulling back with that very same grin on your face that he adores so much. the kind of playful one, the one that tells him that you're going to be throw snowballs at him very soon. he loves it.
"are you going to get hot chocolate with me today, toji?"
he lets your glued together hands fall, only for you to start swinging them side to side. he doesn't tell you to stop.
"no."
"liar."
toji rolls his eyes, tonguing at his inner cheek as he does so.
"with marshmallows."
he loves you.
"with marshmallows."
#staring soooososo hard at these twt pics of him with a scarf on#i love him soooososo much:((((((((#anyway i think he's very very cute#especially during winter#:3333333#toji#wtf mickey can write#toji x reader#toji fluff#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#toji fushiguro fluff#sometimes i wonder whether i really am making him too soft but then again#i think he would love his partner with his whole heart#HIS WHOLE BEING!!!!!#and i think that would in fact make him into a softie yk?#wahhh idk anyway#i love him#and i am soft
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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I adore this little family
slightly more zoomed in version:
#sometimes a family can be a robot a fox and a gosling#writing team when i catch you#had me shedding real tears all by my lonesome in my empty theater#the wild robot#the wild robot fanart#my art#explodingstar art#just something quick cuz they're on my mind and i HAD to churn something out after watching the movie last night#found family trope choked me out in a back alley stars found dead#snails and west if you're reading this prepare for this movie to rock your shit /pos
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forever mourning how granada holmes never adapted the three garridebs. diabolical. unbelievable, even. 'if you had killed watson you would not have made it out of this room alive' but in brett's frightfully intense and low, biting, hissing voice. the violent, wild stare versus the gentle hand on watson's knee. all of that precarious control getting flung out the window. the humanity of it. gritting my teeth can you fucking imagine.
#we were ROBBED#no cause why does no one adapt the three garidebbs. it has The Scene. LIKE COME ONNN#if i got to watch jeremy brett Lose His Fucking Mind over watson getting shot i wouldve also lost my entire shit#like oh my god#jeremy brett's holmes is soo intense he wouldve been PERFECT. i can just imagine the wild stare 2 inches from the camera#ohhh my god#no cause sometimes i think about how granada was going to do reigate squires and it genuinely brings my mood down#IT WOULDVE. AUUCKK#im so pissed yall#im rewatching granada and its all i can think ablut#WHAT IF THEY HAD JEREMY BRETT HOLMES LOSE HIS SHIT OVER WATSON GETTING SHOT. CAN YOU IMAGINEEE#THE INTENSITY + THE GENTLENESS#💥💥💥💥💥💥🔨🔨💥🔨💥🔨💥💥🪓💥🪓💥⚰️⚰️💥🪓💥🪓#this is making me want to pick up that watson whump fic i was writing as part of sillage again#i need holmes to go crazy go stupid#'if you had killed watson you would not have made it out of this room alive' CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINEEE BRETT SAYING THAT#SOMEBODY SEDAATEEE MEEEEEE#IM SO PISSED#not equipped for rambling#granada holmes#the three garridebs#sherlock holmes#john watson#acd holmes#acd watson#granada watson#jeremy brett#i need holmes to go crazy go stupid 😔😔😔😔
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Thanks to artfight, I’ve finally finished a detailed, official dbhc cub reference! :D
(I’ve put his Artifight description below the cut, which has a more detailed explanation of his timeline, lore, and aesthetics! >:3)
-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ OVERVIEW ❁ ༺ ˎˊ-
Name: C.B.F.N.4000 (Cub) Pronouns: He/Him Species: Android Height: 5’9’’ Associated Visual Themes: vex, ghosts, explosions, mischief, scientist aesthetic, potions, potionmaking, sleepy/tired aesthetic, conspiracies
-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ ABOUT ❁ ༺ ˎˊ-
CBFN4000 is an au version of MCYT Hermitcraft’s Cubfan, set in my DBHC (or Detroit Become Hermitcraft) AU! This au is inspired by the 2018 game Detroit Become Human, but not because it really has anything to do with DBH—I simply yoinked the android mechanics and incorporated them into the world of Hermitcraft. It began as a S8 au, and has roughly followed the hermitcraft timeline up to the present!
Cub was the last android made during Season 8. While many of the hermit androids were made at the beginning of season 8 and a few were made for season 9, Cub was finished and activated mid-late Season 8, around the time when Hermits started noticing the Big Moon. Cub’s model ended up being a sloppy experiment in deviation, as Doc suggested they try to transfer deviancy to an android upon activation to try and avoid traumatic situations that might cause an android to deviate violently or upsettingly, such as Etho’s, Tango’s, or Mumbo’s experiences. While this went relatively well initially, it clearly wasn’t very thoroughly thought out, as Xisuma (who is normally so adamant and detail-oriented when it comes to assuring the androids’ safety with experiments like this) wasn’t truly himself due to external manipulation and mostly left a relatively young-deviant Doc to carry out the project himself.
Cub, though adjusting to sentience rather well at first, very quickly became wrapped up in the Big Moon happenings on the server, new personality and inexperience to emotions like fear and ignorance completely overwhelming his young system. He became obsessive over the implications and consequences of the Season 8 Moon Apocalypse, joining the Mooners and spreading his conspiracy theories religiously throughout the server as he descended into madness. The insanity was like a virus to his programming, pervasive and all-engulfing, and Cub’s final attempt to free himself from the Moon’s impact with the Earth—to launch himself on a llama into space via potion-powered TNT(insane btw)— left his hands and feet singed and cracked to ruin.
The experiment, considered a horrific failure by a deeply shameful—and more awake—S9 Xisuma, left Doc and Xisuma with the decision to reset him for the new season, and they ended up pairing him with a hermit like they had done with the other androids, to give him a chance to find deviancy on his own terms. So, at the start of season 9 and fresh after a reset, Cub was paired with Scar. Naturally, because Scar is… Scar, Cub deviated almost instantly after being given to him, and very quickly adopted the iconic lazy, stoic, amused attributes normally associated with Cubfan. Scar’s tendency towards mischief and general shenanigans grew instantly on Cub, and the two were an immediate inseparable pair. So much so that when Scar began rambling one day about his Season 5 Hermitcraft Shenanigans (where deals with the Vex may or may not have been involved), Cub immediately stated he was interested in being in on it. Whatever “it” means. It’s unclear if Cub also made a deal with the vex or became connected to them in some other way, but… well, he got Doc’s help to trick out his eyes, hair, and back to best fit the part. Scar is very jealous that he can't magically make himself have the same features to match.
Cub is closest with Scar (there's something there, I think), but he gets along just as well with any of the other hermits! He’s close with Jevin and many of the other redstoners like Etho and Doc, who are the other two androids I’ve put on artfight!
-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ EXTRAS ❁ ༺ ˎˊ-
Cub's eyes can light up in the dark, and he’s the only android who has edited his programming so that the default state of his LED is white, not blue. It still will go yellow and red if his processors are working particularly hard, but he’s replaced the blue setting on his LED with white to better match the Vex vibe. Cub has all of the vibes of a fae. If that’s anything <3
#dbhc#dbhc art#dbhc ref#dbhc cub#cubfan#hermitcraft#cubfan135#hermitcraft au#art escapades#writing everything out in a really succinct/condense way is actually really helpful#I might add Etho and Doc’s artfight descriptions to their own reference pages actually#just because it’s really helpful to have all of the lore in one place LOL#I always wrap up these ideas in my head and save them for when I can make art to reveal the plot dramatically yknow#but for characters that aren’t really my priority right now it’s kind of nice to just get the info down#especially for the people who ask about specific characters a lot#SO ANYWAY#I ramble#if anyone has any opinions on this method of relaying dbhc lore feel free to lmk!#there will obviously be things that I keep hidden :3#Bc sometimes art reveals are the best >:3#but for stuff I might not get to in a while…. yeah#I don’t mind it#ALSO#HILARIOUS TO ME THAT freshly awoken cub reminds me a lot of IRL cub LMAO
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~ a little something about waking up next to Dazai, and he's unbearable as always ~
"I might just eat you alive..." He mumbles to himself, barely audible. His eyes are half-lidded, and he's barely blinked.
He's been watching you sleep next to him curled up like a kitten for the past hour, way past the time you usually wake up. He's the oversleeper, not you, and it makes him hyper aware of your bodily functions and if they're okay. He hasn't eaten properly in days, but you don't need to know that. He's rabid, and he knows he's being a total freak right now, but who will worry for you if not for him? He must rise up to be the voice of reason, the watchful eye that keeps you on track even if he can barely keep himself alive! He wishes you'd stay forever, where he could avoid his problems and take care of your every single need. He should be everything you need... He hopes. Then you'd never leave, and he would make sure to eat more, just for you. How perfect... selfish.
God, he just wants to crawl inside of you and make you his home, it's almost pathetic. You'd find him vile for the things he would do for you and your happiness, despite you already being so accepting of his dark past... You're simply heaven sent. He takes a deep breath, and lightly runs his knuckles down your jawline, as if carving them out of the precious material that you're made of. You begin to stir, and his pupils dilate instantly as he pulls back with anticipation.
"Mmm... Osamu..."
You murmur sleepily as your chest rises up and down ever so slowly. He's freaking out. It's bad for his health to hear the way you say his name as if it were a healing oath, a spell that only works on him.
"Wakey wakey~"
Dazai's propping himself up on one elbow, a calculating smile plastered on his lips as if he were in on something you weren't. You pop open one eye, and groan softly.
"You're up... early"
"Yes!"
"Why..." You yawn like the silly little thing you are. He gasps in mock offense, clutching his chest.
"Can't a fortunate guy like ME just be happy that we both live to see another beautiful day?!"
He winks, and boops the tip of your nose, this gets a muffled snort out of you that causes you to bury your face into the pillow. He's addicted to the rush of causing any joy in your life, it's disgusting. When you don't lift your face back up, he scrunches up his face, and reaches out to stroke a strand of your silky hair, but his intrusive thoughts win and he tugs on it as payback for possibly falling asleep again. He needs your attention, and you're sleeping? Insanity. You swat at him, blindly smacking his arm away.
Oh, how he loves that you're the only person who truly sees him past his myriad of theatrics.
"Oh my... a slap from you feels wonderful!"
He rubs his arm, and grabs the hand that swatted him, bringing it up to kiss the pulse point on your wrist. Feather like kisses, almost undetectable... until you lift your face up from the pillow, finally.
He gazes at you as he rubs his face onto your hand like a cat greeting its owner, purring as if he were starved for affection. For a moment, his gaze becomes more serious, detached, as if he were thrown back into a distant memory. He can't describe the feeling, but the way your hand feels against his cheek is a warmth he hasn't felt in ages. His eyes sting, and he blinks the wetness away before you can notice as he hears your angelic voice again. He's back to his usual self.
"Osamu... You're being annoying"
"You think I'm just annoying?~"
His voice comes out in a tender whisper, his mouth curled up into a mischievous grin. He's insufferable. He could be anything for you if you wanted it. Especially annoying! He almost drools when you roll your eyes affectionately at him, the coldness in his heart disappears as he leans in just a little, invading your personal space as always, eager to hear your reply.
"Amongst other things, yes..."
You flash him a sweet little smile, and it mends all that is wrong in the world. The pink in your cheeks is starting to turn red, and it sends him to the moon. He hums, slowly nuzzling himself into the crook of your neck, it's his turn to curl up. You run your fingers through his messy hair that tickles you, feeling the warmth of Dazai's breaths against the back of your ear.
"Hmm, do I look like a pillow to you?"
He can hear the smile in your murmur, and he pulls back from your neck briefly, peering at you through his messy bangs, those intense hazelnut eyes demanding your attention, and his voice drips with an aching devotion that oozes like honey. he moves his lips to your ear, and whispers.
".. You look like an angel to me."
He watches you self destruct at his painfully smooth delivery of a compliment, and secretly rewards himself for once again giving you another reason to never leave. He's got it all!
Romance, self deprecating humor, an inability to properly process his emotions and grief, but more importantly, an undying commitment to stay alive against all odds so that he may see another day of you in his arms... or you helping him change his bandages... or-
He's cut short by you grabbing the sides of his face and pulling him into the most sinfully delicious kiss known to man, and he could swear that despite all his efforts, this might be what ACTUALLY kills him.
#i don't know what happened i started typing and then i blacked out#slightly obsessive dazai...#this is just a soft launch for how badly i want to write yandere dazai#bungou stray dogs#dazai x reader#bsd dazai#dazai fluff#I THINK WE SHOULD ALSO SEE DAZAI HAPPY SOMETIMES#osamu dazai x reader#this cannot possibly be a drabble anymore im sorry this is so long#i need a horse tranquilizer so i can actually relax#osamu dazai#dazai x you#i want to hold him and choke him out help meee#bsd x reader#dazai imagines
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so i remembered daily comic day this year and i am paying for it
#my art#hourlies#hourly comics day#hourly comic#chalk#oc#i'm dying and passing out and dying and throwing up and crying#this is just like when i was a stupid student having to cram weeks worth of work into a day because i procrastinated#AHHHHHHHHHHHHH#okay i'm fine#this is the most boring day of my LIFE and here i am writing a comic about it. god#i swear sometimes my life is more interesting#i love watching the quality deteriorate over time#okay. i'm posting this to bsky then i'm going to bed so i can forget about this ordeal#in all seriousness it was a lot of fun i'm just tired. drew way more than i thought i could#OH YEAH and for the record i never even finished the crossword#too busy writing three comic panels about it to finish it#AHGGHHHH#the crossword is a new thing to me i started it late last year. new addition to my life to fill the gap splatoon left
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Usually I try to better clean up and color these... But I REALLY wanted to share 'em as soon as possible cuz I really like how they look already, sue me :')))
Some story time under the cut for those of you who want context >:000
((EDIT - Small TWs for some negative talk and mentions of grief. Also spoilers for the ending on Chapter 4 :00)
As mentioned in a previous post, Gabby and Doey's relationship is... Very strained after the events of the fourth chapter.
Doey joined the group (Gabby, Kissy and Ava) eventually while they were venturing as subtly as possible to avoid running into Huggy. It was a surprise, obviously - they all thought he was six feet underground since the aftermath of him crashing down. They were all relieved to know he was still alive, but something was different. He wasn't as jovial as his usual self was... He was just... Off. Quiet. Monotone.
(Which is understandable since the guy is literally GRIEVING the loss of the kids of the Safe Haven y'know- and he feels immense guilt for what happened)
At some point, they get separated - Kissy and Ava stick together, while Doey and Gabby venture on their own way, both groups hoping to join each other again eventually. Doey and Gabby still have that quiet dynamic going on, because the human guy doesn't want to make things any worse than they already are. So he tries to be the cheerful one. For both his and Doey's sakes. He tries as hard as he can. But it falls flat. And Gabby, despite himself, grows more and more irritated by Doey's unusual calmness. Something's obviously going on and he won't say anything about it.
Something happens that puts them in a dangerous situation, and everything spills out. Gabby wants to talk, he wants answers. Doey is trying to ignore it, but he's being pushed. And suddenly his anger blooms back out. And he lashes out on Gabby. Shouts all the words he hadn't gotten out. How he was never any good for the kids. How he could've done so much more. How if it wasn't for him, "they'd still be breathing and standing right now". How Gabby can't understand. And Gabby... Takes it. He stands there, listening to every single thing he says. Silently.
He's not afraid. And Doey notices. It's unnerving. It catches him completely off guard. It's like something is starting to break inside of him. Something he's not sure he wants to let shatter much more...
And then Gabby hugs him. And the thing in Doey's core is completely obliterated. And the crocodile tears are finally, finally let loose. And his shoulders finally relax to wrap themselves around the short man.
They talk after some VERY good comforting words from Gabby. They find Kissy and Ava after some searching, and they're back on track.
And from then on, their relationship changes back slowly to the small friendship they had formed in the past, plus more. They both understand and trust each other, and Doey feels relief from having someone he can confide in and let himself relax with. And just... Be a kid. Even if just for a bit. All three kids need that so badly, and Gabby tries his best to give that to them. To Doey. Because he, out of anyone, deserves a break the most.
#... oof. i uh. might come in and change some of all that because this is all one-shot and lots of it probably don't make any sense#I TRIED#I promise I can write sometimes. today just isn't the day I think whoops#ANYWAY- AU LOREEEE#Because I need Doey to be happy again damnit :((((#Immediate serotonin#+ gave a hug to the guy because GOODNESS GRACIOUS DOES HE NEED A THOUSAND#my art#doodle#writing#poppy playtime#poppy playtime chapter 4#poppy playtime spoilers#doey#doey the doughman#self insert#ppt#big bro & kids shenanigans au#PS. also keep in mind I'm French so uh... if some stuff don't make sense that might also explain why lmao
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thinking about Caitlyn pulling you into her lap just because she can. because she's tall asf (6"1 in canon). because she has so much paperwork and things to sort out for Piltover, but she also just loves you and wants you close.
so she calls you into her office just to tug you into her lap and wrap her arms around you, resting her chin on your shoulder as she continues with her paperwork. and when you run a hand through her hair and press a kiss to her temple, murmuring sweet nothings when she's stressed, she sighs in relief because there's nowhere else she'd rather be than surrounded by your sweet embrace.
and you know that Caitlyn forgets to have dinner if she's super swamped with work, so you end up tugging her out of her office — though not without protest. you take her to some late-night takeout place that's nearby, and the food is just okay. but the two of you in sweats, laughing over little things that happened in each of your days that seemed important at the time but really don't anymore...that's what fills you with so much happiness that you stop talking to just smile at her. and when Caitlyn asks why you're looking at her like that, you just shrug and respond: "I just love you." and, like she so often does, she pulls you around the table and right back into her lap to murmur in your ear:
"I love you too, my darling. So much."
#sometimes I forget I can just dump my daily thoughts about Caitlyn on here#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn x reader#arcane#cherry writes 🍒#caitlyn x you#fanfic#fanfiction#arcane fanfic#arcane fanfiction#lesbian#arcane fandom#caitlyn arcane#arcane caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman x reader
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Charles has always left Edwin little notes slipped between the pages of his favorite books, in his science equipment, places he knows Edwin loves. Just silly things—post its that say “hi Edwin :)”. doodles of Edwin with his nose stuck in a book. reminders to stock up on wolfsbane. but.
Then, post canon, Edwin tentatively starts dating people. And it’s ridiculous, because Edwin’s right there, all the time, but Charles..misses him a bit. And his heads a mess, and he can’t sort out what the hell he’s feeling most of the time, and whenever he tries to say any of it out loud it comes out rubbish.
So. He writes down some of the shit he can’t say right, and because he’s a coward, hides them so he doesn’t have to see Edwin’s face when he reads them.
then Edwin starts writing back.
Neat lilac blue little envelopes appear in Charles coat pockets. In his bag. Once, in his shoe? Some nights, Edwin will clear his throat and mention something from a letter, offhand, like they’re just picking up conversation, and Charles can pretend they are. That they always have talked about the basement, the belt, the nameless fear that chokes him every time Edwin walks out the door with someone else on his arm.
Sometimes he can’t. The words get stuck in his throat. Edwin’s not mad, he’s maddeningly, stubbornly kind about it, which is worse.
Some nights they trade. A secret for a secret. Charles learns about the novels Edwin used to hide under his mattress, about all the lonely years before Charles got there. About Simon.
Meanwhile, Edwin is losing his mind, because Charles has accidentally stumbled onto what was a fucking courting ritual in his time. Love letters were something engaged couples treasured for years, kept and reread over and over. (Edwin does. keep them in a special box, will take one out and trace the words, tuck it in his breast pocket for courage).
Edwin would rather have to reattach a limb again than lose Charles trust, all the dark and beautiful things he shares with Edwin only. He knows—knows Charles doesn’t mean to make him fall more in love with him.
#payneland#dbda#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#mini fic#charles x edwin#chedwin#fic#anyone is welcome to write this!#maybe I will eventually once I crawl victorious from the mountain of my 10+ wips#either way I’m a strong believer in the 2 or more cakes principle#would love different peoples takes on this#UGH BUT JUST IMAGINE… Edwin being scared to date & try new things#reading over and over how Charles is scared too how he’s faking being brave most of the time.#keeping the letter over his heart for courage#(I do think Edwin should date people for a while because like. he’s hot! he never got to be a teenager!#let him kiss cute boys for a bit! realize there’s nothing wrong with him! become more confident! more centered!#maybe it makes Charles a little crazy! proud and possessive and confused horny!)#they have time! :) & sometimes you need to go on your solo journey so u can then become more freakishly codependent with your#work bestie husband ride or die twin flame in the future. yk
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Real talk..do you have any real advice on how to make friends as an almost 30 year old woman…
three easy (coughcough) steps: 1) pick an activity 2) commit to the horror of being known 3) know when you're vibing and know when to pack it up.
pick an activity. mine are gardening, hiking, reading, writing, geology, and chickens, and i've made and kept friends through each of those. make your own list of things you want to do, and want to meet other people who do. you can do it in a structured setting, which i recommend. most cities have clubs, activities, and people who are trying to organize. my city has... regular volunteer clean ups along the river, organized hikes, a few very nice community colleges where you can take random classes, gardening events, silent book clubs, a discord for lonely 30 year olds, etc. likewise, you can meet people online through these activities. writing has got me a lot of great friends! having these activities is also important because it will let you keep the friends you start to make by giving you built in places to show up together.
commit to the horror of being known. i don't know how else to put this. it will be embarrassing. you will say stuff and you will go "why the fuck did i say that?" and they will say stuff and you'll think the same thing. this is, unfortunately, how it works. you have to be a fucking idiot at times, and it's fine, because no one wants to be friends with someone who takes themself too seriously. be embarrassingly into whatever you're into. and then when you meet someone you think could eventually be a friend, you have to put a feeler out there. my favorites are "hey have you been to X on Y? i really want to check it out." "have you seen X and do you want to see it?" "we should grab coffee!" it works a surprising amount of the time. all you really need to make a friend is one good conversation and one person throwing a line to another.
know when to pack it up. okay unfortunately, if you're doing this regularly, you're going to meet people who you do not actually want to be friends with. also unfortunate: it isn't dating, and you can't break up the same way. i met a girl who thought i was her reincarnated lover from the 1300s. i met a girl who tried to recruit me into a sex cult. i met a woman who tried to get me to join a lesbian farming commune. i met a guy who seemed cool and then tried to cheat on his girlfriend with me. we roll. and sometimes, we roll away from people, at extreme speed. guard your time and do not waste it on people you don't want to be friends with.
other points i'll add are: consistently follow up with people (even if that means adding them to a calendar), understand when you are the one not being vibed with and don't take it personally, don't lie to try and be what you think someone wants you to be, and practice. all of this takes practice. i was largely friendless for a lot of years because i didn't like talking to people, couldn't not try to be cool around them, and was a shitty person. you're already ahead on all three counts. and another word of encouragement: making one friend usually means making a half a dozen, because people will bring their own friends with them. i've certainly made a lot that way. it's really only a process you have to go through a few times before it starts coming faster and easier. good luck anon! <333
#not adding this but also: the number of friends i made through writing fanfic#woooooweee man#and i still have them! and i am binding my soul to them so they can never leave me#unfortunately i also met someone who tried to get me to join her writing club this way#but it was just the two of us#and she wanted us to write a tv show about ourselves#you have to run sometimes#you have to run very far away and very fast
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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jealous! viktor x reader (headcanons + tiny scenarios)
summary: viktor sees you talking with a friend and get jealous.
content warning: idk if it counts as a cw but jealousy?? also, i made with s1 viktor in mind!
author notes: heyyy, so sorry this one is little, im still trying to find motivation after the end of the series but i think it turned out cute! thank u for the request and hope u like it!! :)
» it was a common sight to see you walking up and down piltover’s academy, working or just chilling on lunch breaks, but every time viktor would approach you, you were already with someone. sometimes an unknown person, other times with a friend, laughing and joking, touching them in such a sweet way, side by side in the aisles.
» he looked at you both, blood boiling and shaky hands. if you looked at him, it was possible to see his lips forming a thin line, brows furrowing, his left eye almost twitching. oh, he was jealous.
» he felt angry at himself to feel like this, he didn't mean to be jealous at all, but he wanted to steal you away, just for a second, and be the one by your side, be the one you smiled to, the one you’ve been touching so sweetly.
» he wanted to reach for you, to interrupt your silly conversation about whatever you two have been talking about, he wanted to share his new discoveries with you, he wanted to be in their place so bad.
» but he couldn't complain, not when you waved a goodbye at your friend, and turned your body, recognizing viktor, eyes lighting up immediately, smiling from ear to ear.
“viktor!”, you shouted, voice echoing in the aisle while you walked to him, “i’ve been looking for you all day. you wouldn't believe what happened!”
he looked at you, expression softening, eyes shining, mimicking yours, his thin lips now turning into a little smile, “yeah? tell me."
» soon all the jealousy melted away, now, he is the one walking by your side.
#—swe writes#league of legends x reader#lol x reader#viktor x reader#arcane x reader#i should thank my friend this time bcs they helped me on this one#i didn't like how it turned out and was erasing and rewriting and easing and#but if my friend says its good then its good#thank u friend#so sorry if some of you guys read my tags and all my post have the same thing#< “thank u friend” and stuff like this. but they really help me out all the time#this is why i always thank them#they aint even part of the fandom! i just rant about arcane to them all the time#love my friend dearly <3#anyways!! sorry if this one is tiny. my motivation is almost zero these days#school stuff has been hard but its fine! at least i can write sometimes :)
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Question about your changling AU, where did you learn about the ins and outs of Fae and Changling myths? I'm interested in learning too but not sure where to start lol
some of the lore I have for the AU I crafted myself, otherwise I read a lot of old faerie tales growing up and my mom, for some reason, knows an awful lot about shit like that, so some of it is just innate from her. otherwise i just read a lotttttt of books around the concepts of these things when I was younger because I was fascinated with jim henson's worlds
#replies#look into old myths and legends#read old books#start with uhhhh. uhhhhhhh#the princess and the goblin. the moorechild. shit like that#i read a lot of robin mckinley's works growing up which lean more into the silent side of magic shit#where magic is very much an unknown element. and defining it is not only risky but generally stupid#so sometimes shit happens. and you can make a cause and effect. you can do research. but there is always folly when playing with fate#so i feel like how I write magic tends to be a little more esoteric and odd#not so much chanting spells and giving exact definitions#more of. magic being a force like gravity. whos effects are usually not seen without it in action
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there will never ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER be enough hurt/comfort fics. just so you know
#sometimes i go on super specific tag hunts and then am shocked and offended when i only find the same fics i've already read before HAHA#i'm laughing but also i'm crying#and i can only write so fast (ie. not fast at all) so it never quite satisfies the craving...#also i did not plan the number of Evers to be 7 but it just turned out that way and 7 is my favourite number that must be a good sign right
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Once the theatre monkey discovers angsty broadway musicals its all over y'all
or: I got a new personal project I'm workin' on! I'm at the first pass on the animatic rn! I forgot that 'generate matte' is a thing you can do in SB Pro for a whole hour!! I'm suffering!!!
#lmk#lego monkie kid#animatic#wip#storyboarding#fanart#six eared macaque#liu'er mihou#lmk macaque#shadowpeach#sun wukong is not here but he is haunting the mini-narrative#mac thinks HE's doing the haunting lol nah dude your ex-mans is living rent-free in ur cranium#I heard this song in a 'cartoon villain playlist' and only learned later it was from a play and went like:#“and i can feel bitter shadowpeach feels in this chilis tonight”#something something Denial something something river in Egypt#this is what happens when u don't talk about your feelings#POV: you're on the downward spiral but you're taking it like a waterslide#for real my favorite part of mac's character arc is where he's justifiably Bitter About It#but that won't stop him from being UNjustifiably a huge piece of work and Extremely Biased about it#it being the past events where two monkies both managed to fumble the bag in adjacent but slightly different ways#macaque ilu but u are not genre-savvy sometimes#i know mac is a chinese character BUT#he would totally spell theatre <- this way if he learned to read/write in english#i actually headcanon that his magical celestial monkey hearing would make it REALLY easy to pick up new languages but not the writing#oop i forgot: song is For The Record from 36 Questions#which I have not seen so idk how thematically relevant the og song context will be here
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