#and i can never remember all the damn mysteries let alone which ones you say on which days!!!

[purplespacecats]

so i started reading harrow the ninth then needed to set it down and none of my actual bookmarks were within arm's reach so i fumbled around on my nightstand and grabbed the closest bookmarkesque thing i could find, which.

yeah that's apropos

[viaviavie]

SEEKING DREAMLIGHT | STONE OF FRIENDSHIP | 1

in which you return to twisted wonderland. do you recall the first gift you were given when you came to this place years ago? you were all alone then, with no one to run and turn to. by the end of your adventure, you were surrounded with so many gifts? can you tell me who the first ones were? your beloved house of cards; they welcome you once more.

SUMMARY: based on disney’s dreamlight valley. years after the ramshackle prefect had left twisted wonderland, former students suddenly find themselves back in night raven college with missing memories and dreams of a magicless student they were supposed to know. an older prefect finally makes a return to a shell of the fantasy you once lived, falling in love once more with what was forgotten.

FEATURING: heartslabyul

NOTES: rather than putting everything in one sitting, i have made a strategic solution to split up the story into even more sections.

[ INDEX ] [ PREVIOUS ] [ NEXT ]

Strong, hardened muscle was what enveloped your form, followed by the weight that nearly toppled you down on the balcony. Deuce never wasted a second contemplating your existence when he ran to the top of the stairway to grab your shoulders. He has grown much bigger now, and so have you. In spite of all the years that had passed since your initial disappearance, Deuce discards all unfamiliarity as he crushes you against his chest. Maybe it was the hopelessness of this place that drove him to hold you, washed away by the pure joy of finding what has been lost. "It's been so long," He whispers, afraid that you would disappear into dust if he dared to let go. "I'm really happy to see you, Prefect." 

And Ace stares from a distance, almost hesitant to even affirm himself that you were real. The large direbeast trots up the stairway, but the redhead remains at the bottom. Unbeknownst to you, who had been so engrossed into your happy reunion, he clenches his teeth and grinds down with such force that his jaw has begun to ache. 

"I missed you too, Deuce." You tell the taller boy— man, taking the time to acknowledge how much taller had gotten. 

Deuce pauses, face freezing once he took notice of what little distance was shared between you both. His fingers hesitantly loosened themselves on your shoulders, and he pulled back. That hopeful expression on his features never wavers, and he finally lets out a sigh of relief. You have not disappeared at all. 

Before he could even utter a word, Ace cut him off as he climbed the stairway. "You look well, Prefect." You finally take a good look at the redhead who still donned that heart on his eye. Deuce swallows to himself, stealing your attention once more while he rubbed the back of his neck with sheer embarrassment. "Sorry, we're just... so surprised to see you again." He says in a quieter tone now, shifting to the side as Ace stands before you. 

His expression is cold, unreadable if anything. You cannot help but find yourself unable to meet his eyes as he stares. "Both of you look so grown up." You breathed out. Ace says nothing, and it forces Deuce to speak in his place. "I guess we did. You look different too, Prefect." There is a gentleness in Deuce’s tone, something that has not changed in the years that came to pass. And yet, Ace continues to unnerve you with the way he glares at you subtly. You do not understand.

There was no time to dwell on nostalgia or the mysteries of the heart, however.

Clearing your throat, you make a slight gesture to the thorns obscuring the windows. "Do you know what happened here?" You asked them. Ace shook his head, tucking his hands into his pockets with indifference. "No. One day, I'm going about my business and suddenly, I couldn't remember a damn thing before I woke up here in the dorm." Deuce nodded his head, eyebrows knitted together in concern. "Yeah, the same thing happened to me. We both woke up in Ramshackle together." Deuce continues as he walked toward the thorns, reaching out a gloved hand across the window. With a tight grip, he attempts to break away the plant with his bare hand, but to no avail. "We've been stuck out here on campus ever since. The exit is completely covered with thorns, and our magic is useless against them." 

You grimace, crossing your arms until your eyes flicker across the familiar checkered pattern across their clothes. It suddenly dawns on you as you glance down at your own attire; the Ramshackle dorm uniform that you do not recall wearing. Heartslabyul, the name is whispered into your ears as you come to the realization that there were five of them, not two. "Is it just the two of you here?" Much to your lock, Deuce grunts in disagreement. 

"I don't think so. We have explored as much as we can, but plenty of areas are barred off by either thorns or locks.” Your interest is piqued at the mention of ‘locks’, and Ace knows it by the way you look up at them with intent. Skully grins in the shadows as Grim pounces onto the railings, eager to move.

“Where?”

There was once a point in time where Ace and Deuce were at their most suffocating. One may never find the Prefect truly alone, not when the two Heartslabyul students were often at your side like two moving pillars. Some things never change, you think to yourself as two large backs obscure your view as your party walks down the long dark hallway of the campus building. Skully is not too far behind, stalking quietly with that excited grin of his. His presence has been questioned, but Skully insists that he only wishes to accompany and aid your quest to escape. Considering that he has been nothing but helpful in a world surrounded by thorns and blot, there was no room for complaint.

You remember this space even better now as Deuce holds up an old oil lantern in his hand. It was the very place you awoke in, your opened coffin undisturbed. “You woke up here? In the Room of Mirrors?” Deuce asks you, replied by Grim’s yowl. 

“I found the Prefect here, just the Prefect.” 

“We’re here.” Wading in the darkness, you found yourself crashing into Ace’s back. Followed by a grunt emitted from his chest, you can see the way he scowls at you. Before you can even mutter an apology, the redhead cuts you off as he moves to the side.

A red glow obscures your vision, the light coming from the mirror’s warped reflection. You recall now; it is the Mirror to Heartslabyul.

The mirror is covered with thorns upon thorns that had ensnared it, threatening to prick all those that attempt to untangle their way through. However, at the center of such greenery, was a metal padlock. 

Your fingers grasp the metal key in your pocket, itching to solve this mystery as you used to many years ago. 

"Skully, what do you think?" You murmured. Still holding that unsettling smile on his face, the tall man stretches himself forward, peering at the padlock. Ever so eager, he reaches a gloved hand out to touch it, but the magic oozing from the lock only serves to burn him with the slightest brush. Skully does not let weakness show as he pulls back, gently resting his palms over your shoulders and bending down to reach your ears. "Every lock has a key somewhere, my dear! Do you perhaps have its partner?"

They all stare at you as you fish a metal key from your pocket. "I have this." Your excitement is dampened by the way Ace narrows his eyes at you, stepping into your space as if confronting you. "Where did you find it? Deuce and I spent hours searching for a key." There is a certain poison on his tongue that makes you frown, but you cannot tell if that has always been a part of his personality anymore. Your gaze shifts down onto the key, unable to continue meeting his scarlet eyes. "I'm not sure. I woke up with it in my possession when Grim found me in my coffin." 

Thankfully, Deuce steps in and pats your shoulder with reassurance. "Let's give it a shot, Prefect!" A grin works its way up your face as Deuce cracks his knuckles with that determined grin on his face, a remnant of an old habit from the past. Ace averts his eyes, arms crossed with forced indifference as you approach the glowing mirror. Perhaps it was confidence or a sort of arrogance that fuels your bravery, but the key glows red in your hand as you come closer and closer, slipping it into the hole.

And with a successful twist, the red glow fades into white. 

Thorns had begun to shift, slowly wriggling and dancing onto the back of the mirror until they were no longer. The padlock, itself, vanishes into the light before you and now, the mirror is open for passage. 

A heavy weight has suddenly been pushed onto your back, and you could only balance yourself once more as Grim’s furry ear brushes against your cheek. “Henchman, it worked!” He grins excitedly, followed by sounds of victory coming from Deuce. Ace is eerily silent, his expression bored and fixed. He ignores your depleted expression once you look back at him, even making his way past you without concern. 

“I’ll go in first. If I don’t come out, then you can assume it’s okay to go through.” Ace grunted, only sparing a glance at a conflicted Deuce who nodded in agreement. You never get a chance to protest for his safety as he slips through the mirror hastily. His friend could only sigh, placing an assuring hand on your shoulder. 

“Don’t worry about Ace…” Deuce sighed, grimacing as he looked at the mirror. “He’ll come around.” Words are lost on your tongue, simmering in your own defeat. You cannot exactly pinpoint what you had done wrong to make Ace act so cold, not when you had barely reunited with him only an hour ago. Such lamentations are lost on you, however, as Grim huffs to himself. “I’m going in next!” He yells as he pounces from your shoulder into the mirror. 

Deuce readies you, holding onto your arm. He glances at you for permission, and you take a moment to look back at Skully who seemed to be too engrossed with staring at the other thorn-riddled mirrors in the room. "Are you coming, Skully?" You called out. The tall man looks back at you, standing straight before lowering his torso into a bow. "It'd be best if I stayed out here, my dear." He crooned with that fixated smile on his face. "You never know if you'll need someone to fetch you from the outside." However he will know when to fetch you, you do not know. If Skully was able to protect you once, he can surely protect himself too. 

With a wave, you nod back at Deuce who grins at you. His hand grips onto yours firmly as both of you take a step through the mirror, obscured in the light. Skully is smiling still, blowing a kiss at your disappearing figure.

"Take care, my dear! Do bring back a tart for me!"

Roses. It had always smelled like roses in Heartslabyul, if not cake or red fruit. Everything was red, white, perhaps checkered or not like a chessboard. There was black, but not this much. Even with the scent of roses obscuring your senses, it does nothing to deter the scent of ink and blot that had split and bubbled across the gardens and the statues. 

It frightens you, and you cannot reach into the crevices of your mind to find comfort in the memory of an Unbirthday Party. You are never even given the chance to try as you hear Ace bark from afar. “About time you both got here. Quickly, quickly!” Deuce is quick on his feet, but his hold on you does not cease when you notice that his hand is still gripping your own. “Man, it’s been ages since I was last here. It doesn’t look that different.” He uttered, marveling at the ink-stained world before him. 

Something else catches your eye, however. Shuffling along the guidelines of the supposed-garden maze are Heartsalbyul students, whose faces were obscured with ink. They hustle about, carrying cans of paint and carpentry supplies. “There are students here!” You whisper. Just as Deuce was ready to confront the group, Ace clicks his tongue. “Don’t bother,” 

You never took the time to realize how much Ace had grown from the shadow of a first-year. Since when had he been taking initiative? “Grim’s been trying to grab their attention for a while now. They phase through him like ghosts.” You fall silent, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. It was evident that something terrible had happened here, but too many pieces of the puzzle were missing. 

Your thoughts were quickly cut off by a quiet purr from the distance. Grim turns a corner, his little ribbon flying through the air as he pounces forward in a hurry. Immediately, he stops before you, curling his tail in endearment. Just as you used to, you found yourself crouching down, kneading your fingers against his head. There were four small envelopes held between his teeth. “What’d you find, Grim?” You murmur, taking the envelopes into your possession.

Two shadows are casted behind you, and you could only find some relief in their familiarity. Deuce takes an envelope, Ace takes another, and you are all left to read its contents. “I haven’t gotten one of these in ages!” Deuce exclaimed, eyes wide as his finger ran over his name on the envelope. “Invitations to today’s Unbirthday Party?” You ask, slipping the cardstock out from the opening. “Maybe we will get more answers if we attend.” 

Ace lets out a noise of concern as he nudges your shoulder. “Look at this,” His finger points at the fine writing on the card.

Please paint the roses red.

Please bring a white tablecloth to the Unbirthday Party.

Please bring the sleeping dormouse to the Unbirthday Party.

Please welcome the Prefect to the Unbirthday Party.

Your blood runs cold at the final statement. You had barely been here for even a minute, and it seems that someone— something knew you were here. 

Grim is not blind to how your expression is stricken with fear. No longer a kitten now, he bumps his head against your knee and meows softly, snapping you out of your train of thought. You sigh, followed by Deuce’s grunt. “Who do you think wrote this?” His dark eyes meet Ace’s scarlet ones that avoid him, not wanting to even think on the mystery. “Beats me.” Deuce opens his mouth, and his hand is already reaching out to grab the other’s shoulder, but Grim’s hiss cuts him off.

“There’s something else, Henchman!” 

All eyes are trained onto the little direbeast that bared his fangs. “Someone’s trapped in the gardens! Tried sniffing 'em out, but there’s no end to the hedges.” Rising to your feet, you frown as you glance at the maze entrance. The white roses that had been growing from the bushes had either been wilting or were stained in ink, the substance dripping onto the ground. “Looks like magic’s got something to do with it.” You rasped, allowing your feet to carry you forward.

The concerned calls for you were largely ignored, not when curiosity drove you further. It wasn’t as if Alice gave any true regard for her safety when exploring the rest of Wonderland in her tale, and neither did you. You march along the dirt path, following the right side of each and every turn until you find yourself back at the start. Grim, who had been trailing at your side, groaned in annoyance. “It’s bringing us in circles!” He scowled, pawing at your knee. 

A small bush is covered in white roses, untouched by decay or blot. And another, and another few more down a row. 

You pause, staring at the plant intensely. "An Unbirthday Party," You murmur, hearing footsteps catch up to you until all that is left is Deuce and Ace’s shallow panting. The odd plant catches their attention as well, and it does not take long for Ace to lick his lips into a smirk. "Deuce, don't you remember that rule?" The dark haired boy tilts his head towards the other, confusion evident in his clueless blink. 

"What rule?" 

"The roses must be painted red for Unbirthday Parties.” 

Now, that jogged Deuce’s memory. How could he possibly forget after spending three years painting those goddamn roses red? “Yeah?” Taking out his pen, the man sighs in relief. At the very least, they wouldn’t be doing this manually. Ace is grinning now, having fished out his own pen and pointed it at a white rose. “Let’s get painting.” 

They are quicker than you remember, much more agile in the way they flick their wrists and channel color into those blooms. ���You remembered the rules, Ace?” You murmur, awe in your voice. It brings a nostalgic sweetness to your heart when Ace grins at you, seeking validation as he always had when you were present. “Of course, I did. I became the housewarden in our third year. Isn’t that right, Deuce?” He boasted, his ego all the more stroked by the way your jaw falls slack. The other only nods in admittance, rolling his eyes at his friend. 

“What?!” 

Cackling along, Ace finishes painting an entire rose bush red. “Yep, could you believe that? Memorized all 810 rules in total.” For the first time since you have been reunited with him, you find yourself feeling warm talking to the redhead. “You’re amazing, Ace.” You breathe out, sneaking to Deuce’s side as the former delinquent finishes painting one of the bushes. The joy was immediately taken away from your expression when Ace pauses, melting back down into a cold scowl as he turns away. “Tch,” He clicks, moving onto the next bush. 

You are unable to help with the lack of supplies, but that does not stop you from keeping Deuce company. Your fingers brush against a white rose, playing with the soft petals. “I missed doing this with both of you.” You sigh softly, allowing a moment of vulnerability. Deuce slows in his movements, taking the time to glance at your somber expression. He smiles, attempting to lighten the mood. “Me too.” To no avail, you shift uncomfortably in your stance as you continue cupping the rose. “Deuce,” He clenches his jaw, as if afraid of what you are about to ask of him.

“Do you remember what happened when I disappeared?” You do not miss the way his expression hardens, eyes shifting away immediately as the question was given. “Ah…” Deuce’s mouth opens for a slight moment before he shuts it, in search of an answer that was long lost. In a quiet croak, Deuce murmurs an apology. “I don’t think I recall. I’m sorry.” He finally musters the will to glance at you, almost pained to give you an explanation. “It’s so foggy. I knew it happened during our first year, but…” The former delinquent sighed, shaking his head. 

“I’m sorry, Prefect. I can’t—!” 

Deuce falls silent, eyes wide with alarm now. “Prefect, look.”

You do not understand why until you follow his gaze, down to your hand. For a mere second, sparkles of light were quietly emitting from your fingertips; the white rose slowly being dyed a crimson red in your palm. 

“The roses…” He breathes out, watching as the rose stills itself completely red. You stare, mouth ajar as you turn to Deuce with frantic confusion.

“Great Sevens—”

“You guys finished?” Neither of you glance at Ace who had begun approaching you both now, having finished his portion of the work. The redhead stares at the way sweat beads down Deuce’s pale face, all color drained from shock. “Ace, the Prefect—” Grim does not allow Deuce’s quiet voice to come through, not when the scent of ink suddenly floods the air and makes you feel dread. “Look! Something’s opened up!” You hear the direbeast from afar. Ace refuses to waste another moment in Heartlsabyul as he jogs into the garden maze once more. 

“Let’s go! Hurry, hurry!” 

You share a quick look with Deuce, and he returns your weak stare with understanding. This can wait, but the possible students trapped here cannot. Both of you are hot on Ace’s trail, following the footsteps until you find a new opening in the maze. 

The sight of blot makes you ill, and judging by the sounds of Grim’s yelping, it seems that they have already encountered their beast. 

Deuce pushes his way past the blot and you follow behind, eyes landing on a large blob of ink fastened onto the ground in one large clump. Ace is hurling fire at it, taking a quick glance back at Deuce who arms himself.  “Tch, be careful!” Ace hissed, kicking at a puddle of ink that threatened to drag his foot down. “Blot!” Grim is breathing fire too, causing the blob to shrink inwards in response. Deuce is throwing spells at the abomination now, summoning vines to constrict the blob’s movements into a confined space. 

And in that moment, you see it; the outline of a limp arm dripping in ink. 

Your eyes flicker back at your companions that have been throwing all sorts of magic at the abomination, but it does not entirely wash away the blot. The blot remains, swallowing up whatever poor person was inside. You know better than to interfere, but wasn’t that something you were always good at? You’ve certainly done it before.

Such egocentric thoughts will have you killed, but you would sooner die sitting idly by and doing nothing now. 

Ace’s eyes are wide with a mixture of fright and alarm as he watches you whisk past the puddles of ink, towards the direction of that blotted creature. “Prefect, get back!” He screamed, gripping his pen tight as he threw a larger fireball at the blot. “Deuce, bring the Prefect back!” Deuce freezes at the demand, finally taking notice of your figure that is so dangerously close to the blot. If you were pulled in, you certainly wouldn’t come out anymore. “Prefect!”

Their cries fall onto deaf ears as you search for that arm. Rather than one now, you spot two limbs this time, sticking out of the inky cavern of the blob. Gritting your teeth, you suck a deep breath and heave. “Take my hand!” You cry out, plunging your arms into the inky abyss, much to the distressed cries of your companions. 

A startled cry emits from your lips as two hands reach out from the ink, clawing onto your sleeves. Something is pulling you, or rather, someone is pulling themselves out. Your feet threaten to give in, but it is when you feel a pair of muscular arms wrap around your middle when you feel secure. Deuce pants into your ear, glaring at the blotted creature, and he pulls. 

There is light, you notice. There is a certain glimmer of light emitting from within the blot as you see more and more of the outline trying to escape. Checkered red and white patterns are coming into view, and it is almost as if the ink is shying away from you now. With a final pull from Deuce, a heavy figure is sent tumbling your way, knocking you down onto the grass as a large flicker of fire overcomes the monster once and for all. Reduced into nothing, dark miasma fades into the air and soon, the blot was no longer. 

“Prefect, what the hell were you thinking!?” You hear the redhead cry out, followed by his frantic footsteps. Back flat against the grass, you could only peer at Ace’s reddened face as he takes your shoulders. He is looking at you, at every piece of you as if he were an overbearing mother. 

“I knew you used to be stupid sometimes, but now is not the time to be reckless! You could’ve gotten hurt, or worse, died! Don’t you have any sense of—!” 

“That was a close one. I thought I was a goner!”

A new voice this time fills in the space, and everyone falls silent. You have not even registered the sudden weight on your thighs, or the way that said weight disappeared in that moment. Light orange hair tied into a ponytail, accompanied by those little canines that glinted whenever he smiled.

“You—!” Deuce choked as the figure held up two fingers into a ‘peace’ sign. You beam, mustering a shaky smile as the name returns to your memory.

“It’s me, Cay-Cay!”

TAGLIST: @jjsmeowthie @deviious @hellfirestarter @thatpersonuouknow @knorreine @nerenda @goths4gambit @ghostlysyntaxed @minkyungseokie @daeda21 @red1sg0n3 @hatsumekannazuki @driftaway27 @alienlatteinspace @michtellch @loyalkatniss @notquitebunnie @eliza-be-t-h @avalordream @lovemiyae @our-raven-strife-universe @cecil-the-crybaby @your-dazzling-sun @twstsandturns @mrs-hoshina @biumg-ie @mellowberrie

[iraprince]

Absolutely love the Infodump on Cookie she's so good. however!! I remember you made a trio of characters for this game and were torn about which one to play, then decided the other two could be his attendants.

How are those two, what are they up to?? Have you done much with them in the game so far? (And even if not, wanna give us some tastey information about 'em?)

💜

oooh yes! those two are sir velvet the unsmiling (it/she), and damned-if-i-do/dandy (he/they). let's pull up their art (esp now that i have crispy clean new scans!!! i think i have only ever posted this art as shitty phone pics prior to this)

ANYWAY. it turns out that even though attendants are a built-in part of the noble sweetheart playbook (cookie's title) and you're SUPPOSED to be using them... for me in practice, when i'm actually playing the game, i just keep totally forgetting lmfao!!!! :') rping with my other party members and chasing quests and stuff is so engaging that my brain is totally booked with just being cookie, let alone two additional npcs, so sadly dandy and velvet have not gotten a ton of screentime in the current campaign

BUT that really just makes me eager to one day play them properly in a different campaign, whether that's them each taking their turn as player characters like was originally intended, or when i'm GMing a campaign of my own (i'm trying to write up something for my friends, but i have no idea when it's actually gonna happen bc i'm so busy rip... but when i do, cookie and her attendants will def be npcs)

i honestly don't have MUCH i can say abt them, bc since i haven't played them much i also havent developed them much... i suppose i can give summaries tho!

in terms of vibes velvet is very much like, "guy who is brooding so hard that it stops being mysterious or having any gravity at all and is mostly just making people wonder if she's like? okay?????" like there is only so long you can spend with your back to the rest of the group clenching your fist and muttering to yourself before people just start kind of glossing over it and being like "oh haha that's CLASSIC sir velvet the unsmiling!!!"... mix this with a heady dose of "[nasal voice] UM, you forgot to collect the homework" and somehow you have created a creature ideal for wrangling cookie's effusive elaborate scatterbrained whims, somehow, most of the time. velvet is really similar to a different Brooding Goth Knight character i have wherein my formula is "make a character who looks extremely fucking sicknasty badass, then never ever ever stop making fun of them ever"

dandy is cookie's quartermaster, and so unlike velvet (who's usually assumed to be traveling around with cookie, even if i am constantly forgetting to roleplay that it's doing that) he mostly chills at chateau gorgeous looking after his liege's affairs and making sure the ppl who live there are fed + sheltered + generally taken care of. they are pretty much velvet's exact opposite in terms of temperament; EVERYTHING gets velvet's hackles up, NOTHING phases dandy. i need to be careful bc i am starting to arbitrarily ship them just from typing this. anyway, dandy is largely non-verbal; they're able to speak if really necessary, but they would just rather not, and if there's really no way around it they'd rather just sidle over to cookie and whisper it to her, and then let her communicate whatever they want to say to the rest of the group on their behalf; if cookie's not around, you're just gonna have to figure out how to communicate w him otherwise. which always works out fine bc dandy is very patient and used to getting along in silence!

that's about all i've got rn... i will def post it here if i come up with or draw anything else that's fun tho :) ty for the ask!

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

What season of SPN makes you the most feral? What are your headcanons about it?

Hi Anon!

Sorry it took me so long to answer, usually I’m quicker with asks. First, I needed to think about my answer. Then, my internet went down (ugh). Now, I’m on a work trip.

I don’t tend to have a lot of headcanons for SPN, and the ones I have, I mostly think of in the moment as I’m watching or they are pretty common (for example, Ben is Dean’s kid).

Anyways, after thinking about it, I think the season(s) thst makes me the most feral is the Season 2 & 3 combo. I have to put them together because of the reversal of brother worry that flows so well: Dean worrying obsessively about Sam (and being alone) until the worst happens and Sam actually dies, so Dean sells his soul for Sam because he can’t bear to be without him, so Sam worries obsessively about Dean (and being alone) until he starts throwing some of his morals out the window (metaphorically selling his soul) to try and save him, but the worst happens and Dean dies. These seasons have so many brother feels, then being mistaken for a couple (which I always find amusing), and pain. It all hurts so good.

There are a couple of things that make me feel especially “feeral” in this era.

In “In My Tine of Dying” Sam can sense Dean’s soul (love this), they talk to each other using a “talking board,” and Sam tried so damn hard find a way to save (in a short window of time) Dean, and Dean (who worries that he needs Sam more than Sam needs him) never remembers how worried Sam was for him and how much he watered to save him. I hate that he doesn’t remember. As far as I can tell, when Tessa returns his memories of that time (in Season 4), she only returned the parts involving her, not the parts where Dean saw how much Sam loved him (This is up there with Sam and Dean not knowing the phone call was tampered with in Season 4, for me).

“What is and What Should Never Be” pretty much twists my heart from start to finish. Dean having everything “apple pie” he could want, but none of it being worth it if Sam doesn’t love him (beyond in the “he’s my brother so I have to love him” but NOT like him sort of way). The acting in this one is good too. We get a very different Sam, and Jared plays how different he is from normal Sam and how weirded out he is by Dean trying to show any affection towards him really well. We get to see Jensen play a cute and happy Dean, then we see his heart breaking when he realizes he can’t stop hunting if it means people will die, and I love/hate the more subtle heartbreak of him seeing Sam back away from him. I just … love this episode. (Also, … “What are you calling me bitch for?”).

Everything about Meg!Sam, and Dean saying he’d rather die than kill Sam. Pure gold.

“Mystery Spot,” the whole episode is just fantastic. A tiny hesdcanon I have for this episode is that there was at least a day where Sam tackled Dean to the bed (non-romantically) and just refused to let him up, clinging to him like a koala in desperation because Dean dies every time he leaves the room, or does basically anything. Dean struggles at first but then just lays there and takes it, maybe awkwardly patting Sam’s arm. He is both kinda weirded out, but also secretly happy with how much Sam obviously cares about him. But, of course, it being Mystery Spot, Sam probably accidentally kills him somewhere in there.

One last thing I think of often is, I wish I could see Sam succeeding and saving Dean in the Season 3 finale. It bothers me so much that he couldn’t do it after how hard he tried, and the lengths he was willing to go to, and it hurts seeing how much his “failure” and losing Dean tortured him. Dean ended up inflicting the exact pain on Sam that their Dad did on him by selling his soul for him and dying for him, except worse. Also, I actually like the Angel story line in Seasons 4 to 6, but I loath it after that, except for a few exceptions. So, if Sam had saved Dean, we might have been spared angel politics thst went on for too long, as well.

Anyway, I’ll stop it there because my answer is getting away from me.

Thank you for your question, Anon ❤️.

What season(s) make you feral?

[destinyc1020]

In regards to the whole Austin/ Deuxmoi thing, which I don't believe for a second because they HAVE lied about him on numerous occasions to make him look bad.

A few things come to mind but one example that sticks out to me because it's in similar formatting to "spotting's". Oscars night when he lost the Oscar, some sent in that they "saw him" yelling and cursing everyone, and Brendan out because he lost. Later it came out that "blind item/ spotting" was completely fabricated and someone ripped off an old movie script. This later made Austin, the guy who doesn't go on social address the fact, and say that he was so happy and grateful for the experience. Which I can only assume lead to Deuxmoi deleting the post, and starting the scale on the believability of these spotting's.

I find it very hard to believe, that the guy who rarely ever drinks would go out to a bar (just in general even). It makes me think of that time the Dune cast were out, and Timmy said the entire time Austin was drinking tea. He was in New York all week with his girlfriend and left for ONE DAY, for a work obligation. This man rarely leaves his house, causes no problems, and minds his damn business and he was "supposedly" out with some twenty year old. yeah no.

Let's say this is hypothetically true for one moment, the cast of Masters of the Air did go out somewhere after the Emmy's event. There are videos of some of the cast out. (Though Callum and Austin weren't in the videos, let's assume that they were there). There is this "mystery" blonde girl, but it's Anthony Boyles' girlfriend... (There both from the UK where the legal drinking ages are different than America).

Let's say this is the situation there talking about, it was very obviously a group setting and pitting this entire thing Austin the one night he's in LA is so weird and gross.

It definitely feels like some people out there want to make him out to be some awful guy.

Girl, you are spot on with all of this. 👏🏾 💯 I agree with everything you said.

And omg, I vaguely remember those reports that Austin was salty about losing the Oscar and was yelling or smthg at someone rofl 🤣 😂

FIRST of all, I can't even imagine Austin "yelling" at anyone lol, let alone for smthg THAT silly and trivial.😅 The man was just happy to be nominated and even invited to the table during that whole Elvis press tour and awards season lol.

Second, there are plenty of pics of Austin and Brendan laughing and talking and getting along all awards season.

You're right, it just sounds like some weirdos online just trying to make Austin look bad ever since the Elvis movie came out. 🙄

But if you've followed Austin for years, or even just looked back at his old interviews or footage (cuz it's def out there! ) you will see that he's never been that type of person, and has always been a sweetheart. NOW all of a sudden, in his 30s, he's turned into a jerk? 🥴 Make that make sense! 🥴

Didn't know about Anthony Boyle's gf! 😃 That actually makes more sense, esp since the DM sighting said that the woman had a "British accent". Could have been someone from the MOTA cast/crew. They DID film the series in London after all. 😅

[helianskies]

Alone

They sit on opposite sides of a door.

"I'm not leaving," one says, leaning against that which cruelly separates them. "I am not going to leave you here alone."

"You have to," the other replies, muffled, solemn. "It's my fault, I should have been faster."

"No," the first returns. He feels anger, but only towards himself. "I let go. I let go of your hand…"

"…I don't blame you for this. Not for any of it, okay?" the second concludes. "Please don't stay for me. You have to go on for all of us, Tonho."

And just like that, Antonio starts to cry. It feels impossible, the end of the road. His eyes well up, his cheek twitches, he clenches his fists, his chest burns, and he tries not to make a sound. He does not want to succumb to his frustration, just as… he does not want João to picture his sadness through the mechanised door that has locked, and split them up for good.

This fate is not the fate that João deserves. None of them have deserved this. And now, thanks to a dangerous hiss and a protecting shove, Antonio is the only one who is still alive from their humble crew of seven.

"I don't want you to be here," João then starts to say. Unlike Antonio, his own pain is not masked, and it only breaks the other's heart more. "I don't want you to be here when this module is… is disengaged, do you understand?"

"No," Antonio protests again, however. "I told you, I— I am not leaving you here alone. I— I-I—" 

A wave hits him. He has to stop, hand smacking against metal, and try to swallow it down before his grief consumes him and steals his voice. But it is hard. It is so, so hard. 

They have known each other for so long, and so deeply, that for this to be how they say 'goodbye' to each other feels like death. And it is death. It is inevitable, and more terrifying than Space itself.

How it has come to this remains a mystery that Antonio fears may never be solved. A malicious computer virus, a sentient programme, a sadistic piece of malware—whatever it is, it has spent the last hour slowly picking them all off and now—a severed oxygen supply, an airlock release, and even a fatal crushing—… and now only Antonio, a lone technician, remains.

They have been up there, sailing amongst the stars on the space station, for a week. The whole mission itself was supposed to last six months—an unthinkable period of time. Earth has never felt so far away as it does now…

"I can't do this," Antonio finally squeezes out, throat aching, eyes sore. "I can't do this without you, a-and I won't!"

"Tonho, please. Please, just do as I ask," João pleads with him all the same. His voice seems to draw nearer, as though he is right up against the door—right up against Antonio's cold ears. "I know it's hard—I know, okay?" There is a fresh tremor to his words, a wound. "And I know, I-I know you want to stay, b… but you can't. You can't…"

His head hits the door in denial. "I can," Antonio cries out to him, "I can stay. I can stay with you—!"

"I don't want you to hear—"

"I don't want you to die!"

It feels like death, and it is death. It breathes against the back of his neck as he breaks under the weight of so many things unsaid, and that he struggles to say now when they matter most. The cracks leak endless tears and violent sobs as the emergency lighting switches on around them both. 

The red taunts him. It means they are not alone.

He tries to control his shaking.

"Tonho…?"

His vision is blurred by his pain. His fingernails scratch at the metal panelling between them.

"Do you remember what we were talking about yesterday?" João asks him. "Last night, in the lab?"

He does, but the memory feels like only another rope around his neck. 

"Remember the stars," the other goes on,  nevertheless, "and how beautiful they are? You… always used to dream of seeing them as a ki—"

"I don't want to think about the past," Antonio warns.

João hums and states quite finally, "There… isn't really anything else left for us now, Antonio…"

It hurts. It hurts so damn much that the crack widens and Antonio punches the door. He does not fight the yelp or tears that are earned.

It just isn't fair. And João, of all people, deserves so much more—deserves life. He… He wasn't sure about this mission when it first presented itself, but it had been Antonio who had convinced him to go, who had told him, the stars will look so beautiful, and who had held his hand when they had taken off and left everything they'd known behind them. And now, there is no turning back. There is no reset. There is no… no amount of apologies that will fix it all…

"…João…?"

"Yes?"

"Do you… regret this?"

"Which part?" he asks. "Us? Or the stars?"

Antonio could have smiled at how stupid but wondrous those words are. Maybe he even does, for just a tiny moment—maybe he remembers after all the lingering gazes, the private conversations, the kind and guiding hands, the love he's known for years—but if so, it does not last, even if he wants it to. Even if he wants nothing else for the rest of his short life.

"Zone 2-A disengaging in one minute."

It sends him into a frenzy, wild, rabid.

"No no no no no! Y-You can't do that—don't do that, please!"

"Tonho—"

"I can't lose you! I refuse to lose you, too!"

"It's okay," João almost coos to him, "i-it's okay!"

But how can it be? Before they know it, João will be jettisoned off into open, endless space with no way to escape, no supplies to survive, and only enough oxygen for maybe a few minutes once the module is severed from the internal systems. So how can it be okay? How can anything be okay?

"Listen to me," the other continues to say through Antonio's panic, "none of this is your fault. I-I've loved every moment of it," João says like it's a promise, "just as I've loved every moment with you."

The tears restart. The pain strikes again. "I wanted us to— to grow old together," Antonio tells him. "I wanted to sail around the world with you, a-and follow your dreams, too!"

"And we will, one day," the other claims. "I know we will. This isn't the end."

"It is! It is the end!" Antonio persists, nevertheless. It is the end, and it feels like death, and it is death. "God, I— I-I'm so sorry, João, I'm sorry—"

"It's okay."

"—I-I thought we were invincible—"

"I love you."

"Zone 2-A disengaging in thirty seconds."

"—we were supposed to survive—"

"I love you…"

"—you— I—" Antonio swallows. "I love you, too. I-I love you, too, João…"

"Then stay brave for me," the other gently requests of him—a near-dying wish. "You… You know what you have to do… don't you?"

And he does. Of course he does. But the thought is frightful when he must walk that path alone.

"Chin up, benzinho. I know you can do it. You know you can do it."

"I'm scared, I-I don't want to go… I don't want it to end…"

"Zone 2-A disengaging in fifteen seconds."

"Neither do I. But it has to," João urges, "and when it does, I will be waiting for you."

Antonio bites back a sob, a splutter. His palm falls flat against the door, wanting to reach through to the other, and it is as though he can feel João doing the same. He can feel his warmth, his comfort. 

"Do you promise…?" Antonio asks, his voice so, so quiet.

And João, his everything, says, "I will always wait for you."

"Zone 2-A disengaging. Goodbye, Commander."

"João!"

"Go, go! I-I love you!"

"I love you, too!" Antonio cries out as mechanisms hiss— "João!" —and locks break off— "João!" —and metal clinks and clatters— "João!" —and steals away the only good thing left in his life.

His tears are unstoppable, much like his screams. Everything leaves him—his energy, his resolve, his will to go on. It feels like death, and it will be death if he follows protocol and completes the mission that no one could have imagined them having.

He knows he has to do it. He swears he can hear João yelling at him still, to go, go, go! It is impossible. And yet, it is real. It is so real, and the lingering voice—the aching pleas begging him to move—somehow, by some miracle, even through his grief, soon brings him to his feet.

The pain is still raw. His throat still burns, it still aches. Tears are far from slowing. Fingers still grasp at the door  in the vain hope it could open and reveal João, still there, still with him…

…but João is right. He's always right. And right there and then, alone on a space station, there is only one thing left for Antonio to do: get to the command module and initiate emergency protocol: Erasure. 

It will feel like death, and it will be death. But at least… at least João will be waiting for him, no…?

The red lighting eases. It does not vanish entirely, but it eases, like a sudden hand on a shoulder, or the eye of a storm.

"Zone 2-A has been successfully disengaged. Tell me, sir, how would you like to proceed?"

Antonio does not provide an answer. Instead, he whispers a final apology to someone he prays will hear him, be it now or in another place, and he starts to walk himself, slow, begrudging, anxious, towards his ultimate goal. Go, João cheers him on, and be brave.

That is how Antonio chooses to proceed. That is how Antonio intends to put things right.

[ final wordcount, 1699 words; also on ao3! ]

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Everything is going badly right now, so I apologize for not only for not replying, but that my posting generally might run into trouble. My queue is running dry, and I haven’t had time for making new drafts. I’ve got tons of pics and months of sculpting, but I can’t just zap them up here.

Example of things getting to me:

Yesterday I put off my shopping, partly because of the rain and partly because of a scary heart spell and partly because I injured myself the previous day. I meant to take it easy. I didn’t. I was busy and “stuff” happened. Let’s just say it was officially a bad day.

So I get to the evening and light the hot water heater, eager to wash dishes and get to bed. And hour and a half later and…the water is cold. The hot water heater had gone out!

I got determined to try to figure out it out. If I was sensible I would have gone to bed, but I knew I would be unable to sleep with all the thinking about it. Besides, I have this thing about always bathing before bed. I may never find a chance to put lotion on my hands**, and I long ago accepted that my hair was going to be a rats nest whatever I do, but I’ll be damned if I am going to bed without washing away the dirt from my messy life!

Anyway, the hot water heater means kerosene, soot, and the filth caused by cats on the back porch that find that area extra snuggly on winter nights. Basically….ewwwww! Now I REALLY need to get clean.

Since I had spent all that time using that camping shower, I figured I’d boil some water and use that. Ok, first I had to spend twenty minutes trying to find it, but this would be fine for now.

It wouldn’t charge! The only zip it had left was the feeble one from that last time I used it. And the mineral build up had broken loose and now blocked the spray holes. It’s get it to work, but as a trickle.

Boiling the water went sideways too as the kettle decided last night would be a good time to spring a leak on me. I hoped adjusting the screws for the handle would stop it, but nope. The stove became a pond.

When I took a shower the water from the kettle, and the other I boiled, wasn’t enough to keep it from being chilly. Worse, when I dumped the kettle water in the scales of mineral that had built up in it*** decided to finally break loose. Some of it got sucked into the shower, clogging it.

I won’t go into everything I've done trouble shooting it. Let’s say I reached a point where it is either the copper line clogged or the kerosene level being too low.

The kerosene is always low because I can’t afford to buy much, but the way I ration it I should have had a month’s worth. If it is too low I have the mystery of where it is going, with no obvious signs of any leaks. I also have to drive to a gas station 10 miles and then spend more than $60 for 10 gallons.

If the line is clogged, things are possibly worse. If it’s at the opening from the tank it is very difficult to get to clear and likely means the tank is gunked up with rust I can do nothing about. If it’s the line I have disconnect it at both ends, which always goes wrong. Doing it alone kerosene goes everywhere. Disconnecting it from the heater means moving the refrigerator, then putting one arm through a little hole in the wall while reaching around the partition with the other, completely unable to see what you are doing.

And them every single time I work on copper line it breaks!

So then I end up having to patch or replace things. I have to find the special tools, remember how to do it, hope I’m not out of fittings the right size, work damn hard at it only to have it leak! I swear, trying to work on copper line an NOT have it leak makes me crazy. I was soooo proud of myself for getting it all just right after years of work.

If I have to clear the copper line there is a 95% chance I will end up with at least a little leak somewhere. Never mind the safety or cleanliness aspects, I can NOT afford to have a leak!

To test whether it was the line or the kerosene level I decided to tilt the tank. When I’d repaired the tank around five years ago I’d replaced the old rotten base to the spindly legs and got it set up nicely, but over time it had settled, so it could use a little more tilt.

The big crowbar is at the other house. I had to use a much punier one.

I have used up the spare bricks and cinderblocks, so I had to dismantle the steps I use to pour the kerosene in the tank.

The base, which I had made of treated (supposedly) wood and set on bricks had rotted. Not all of it, but one side, that had looked fine, crumbled away as I lifted.

Frantically I had to wedge things to stabilize the tank while holding it. I had to keep it from tilting too much and breaking the line, while also keeping it from falling over sideways, while using things I could reach.

I now need to make a new stand. I have no more suitable wood since some of this proved unsuitable. The shank on the hole saw broke when I made this one, and I found the others big enough either ruined or impossible to get to. The jumbo drill needed for these holes was stored in the metal building where the huge bookcase fell over on it (and it is now unsafe to go into…long story).

And then it rained, so I had to stop working on the tank.

That’s just a taste of how things are going. It got worse. More side troubles. Plus my body ain’t happy.

And to think I actually thought two days ago that this weekend I’d FINALLY finish the book moving**** so I could get started on the REAL work at Mom’s house!

You know, I had enough on my mind

**Can’t do it when I’m eating or feeding the animals. Can’t do it just before bed because I write in my journal. Can’t do it after supper because I’m going to sculpt. Can’t do it when I handle books or papers. Can’t do it when… And then when I’m not doing something where lotion would be a problem I’m out somewhere or am so busy I forget.

*** We have a LOT of mineral in our water. I have to flush the hoses periodically and after many decades of use the bathroom faucet it nearly blocked up inside. It has built up where it drips in the tub like a cave!

****I haven’t talked about it. Basically it’s a continuation of the “moving stuff around so I can work on the plumbing” thing that has ended up being an insanely involved process that has temporarily made the house a complete wreck that it’s almost impossible to get through. And since I am currently dealing with the stuff I had to move from my house because of the collapsed floors, I can’t even be grumpy at anyone for all the damn books! (And comics. And magazines. At least dolls and action figured are light in comparison!)

[blackberreh-art]

For context (i dont think I ever posted the thing here??) but this is why they're back in Japan LMAO (again fully copy and pasted from twitter, edited a wee bit)

(This is all very vague and not thought out, just an idea)

I've been imagining that All Might's back in Japan after a decade, All for One in tow. He'd been wanting to come back-for a long time, but had been dallying. Afraid of seeing what's become of those he left behind (that he abandoned)

But Izuku had reached out, frantic. Something odd has been targeting the pro heroes, putting them in a deep slumber. Everyone's stumped, a good deal of the ranks are under this mysterious quirk's affects (Bakugo….) , so Izuku's… really kinda desperate

No one knows how it happened, no witnesses

So All Might comes home. AfO tags along (collared but not leashed.) (So very tame)

("It sounds familiar." Dull white eyes stare at Toshi, unfocused. Unabashedly listening in on the phone call with his freaky enhanced hearing. "That sounds… like an old friend of mine." AfO teases this little tidbit of information over their heads, bemoaning about how it was "x amounts of decades ago. I don't remember him. He wasn't memorable. His quirk, however… he did nothing of merit with it. I took it and put it to better use." And he grins at All Might, eyes lighting up in prideful joy. "It's mine. Which means whoever used it has a copy. My dear Doctor is still alive, yes?")

(And Ujiko is still alive, yes, kept under lock and key, so he would have had no part in it . It's a mystery, idk, I haven't thought it out)

But at some point Afo, tagging along, not interfering or helping , randomly says to All Might Loudly at some point (in izuku's ear shot) "I can lend a hand, if you'd like?" All Might snorts and shoots AfO a toothy grin. "Do whatever you want." Hearing that chills Izuku to the core, because All Might just fucking told All for One that he could do /whatever the fuck he wanted to do/

Danger sense has been a constant strain on him, never letting up a second in All for One's presence.

Izuku had to trust All Might

He has to. (And cut to a climax later. Big finale, All Might is off taking care of something else, Izuku is stuck dealing with the guy with the copy Dream quirk. AfO is there. I don't have any details. The point is Izuku is alone with 2 enemies (one way way way scarier than the other) and Izuku KNOWS he needs to trust All Might.

(But its hard. Its so damn hard.)

All for One holds a hand out to Izuku, skin a pale glow against the black smoke around them. The hole in the center of his palm is so stark, a bottomless void. It was almost silly for it to be so terrifying. "Well?" All for One says with a toothy smile. "Want that hand, Izuku?"

And damn it all. Danger sense screamed at him, the vestiges a roar in his head, deafening and painful - and Izuku reaches for that hand. He had to trust All Might)

(And to Izukus surprise, All for One did just as he said. He helped. There was no sudden betrayal, no force trying to scrape the vestiges from his core.

They won, the day was saved (villain was an obsessive fangirl who had somehow gotten her hands on the copy of the dream quirk and was basically sucking out her fave heroes souls to live in a dream world with her LMAO)

(I'm just gonna have it that AfO used the dream quirk to zap Izuku into the girls dreams/psyche whatever where he talk no jutsued her or whatever lmao) (Like I said I haven't really thought it out) But anyway BECAUSE AfO did nothing, and Izuku trusted All Might - Izuku lowered his guard. Danger sense was a constant, it never stopped, but Izuku had been growing used to it- All for One's hand on his shoulder. A friendly gesture. The pull knocked the air out of Izuku's lungs, and he couldn't react. He was ready for anything. To fight with tooth and nail if he had to.

But there in the vestige world, AfO simply stood and smiled at them.

His eyes were only on Yoichi.

"Worry not, my beloved little brother." He coos. "I just wished to see you again, is that so wrong?"

(AND thats all I have lmao)

Old Man Yaoi AU future rambles

I never posted the full thing here, so I thought why not, since I'm struggling to get anything new down lol. Just copy and pasted from twitter, so forgive any weird formatting or errors!

I started this not knowing where I wanted to go with it, just knowing '10 years after being gone from japan, old man yaoi afomight come back because Toshinori has a bleeding heart and AfO is along for the ride' . And I didn't know what I wanted to show exactly, just the comfort and ease at which the two acted with one another.

AfO's gonna join Toshi at the railing and hold out a hand. Knowing what he wants, Toshi's gonna pull out a pack of cigarettes and let AfO take one.

"I don't know why I still carry these." Toshi says, watching as AfO lights the cigarette with a flicker of a stolen fire quirk. "

Habit." AfO says. "The lingering effects of the leash around my neck. Does it bother you?"

All Might quirks a brow. "What? The fact that I have to carry your shit for you, even now?"

AfO chuckles. That wasn't what he meant, and Toshi knows it. That's answer enough really - the experiments, the chip in his brain (even now long destroyed), the torture that AfO went through at the hands of the HPSC - of course it still bothered Toshi.

Coming back to japan…

It's weighing on Toshi. He's here to help his former students, even though he's retired officially as a hero. Vigilantism is still frowned upon, but no-one has the balls to tell All Might to keep to the sidelines, especially now that he has a few quirks on his side. And AfO. And isn't that funny? AfO has stated many times that he refuses to lend a hand. Toshi's alright with that. He's alright with the company alone. He still marvels at the fact that AfO still kept himself leashed to-

(Guilt, self hatred, Toshi still hasn't let them go. His former enemy could throw him that crooked grin that he'd hated so much in the past and Toshi would just melt these days.)

Toshi let out a heavy breath. Being back here… it was making it so much harder to rationalize his thoughts. His emotions. AfO stood by his side through all the meetings, appearing bored out of his mind and throwing in many a snide remark, and Toshi looked at him and thought 'I should hate this man.'

He didn't, though. The heroes, his former students scurried around the former demon lord like he was going to snap at any minute. Tenko refused to be in the same city as him. Izuku and Katsuki watched AfO with a single minded determination to put him down before he can even think to make a move, and only Toshi knew that AfO really had no intention to shatter the tentative truce in place.

Only Toshi knew AfO had other plans. He always had other plans. Some Toshi knew the details of, some he didn't, and there was a time when that would have terrified him. 15 years to spend together, through danger after danger…

Toshi knew AfO.

The doubts, when they appeared, didn't last.

"Does it bother you?" Toshi tossed the question back, and AfO paused, cigarette to his lips. Hazy white eyes drift to meet Toshi's, and the former hero marvels at just how easy it was to read AfO now.

AfO was disgruntled.

"Yes, and no." AfO said. "I don't care about your little students." A pause, and AfO's eyes gain a focus that has Toshi's hackles raising. "Hm. No, I suppose I do. But not because they all fear me or I feel any guilt for what I did to them."

A long time ago, Toshi would have flinched. He didn't even bat an eye now, even as he thought of Tenko and the sheer torment that All for One put that boy through.

(Guilt, guilt, guilt...)

"No, your one boy... Izuku Midoriya." AfO's gaze dropped focus again, his form relaxing when Toshi didn't bite at him defensively at the sound of his former students name. Toshi stood there, listening. "Or rather, One for All. And my brother."

Toshi hummed. His focus is intent. "Are you going to try taking it back again?"

AfO didn't look at him. Eyes unfocused again, cigarette dangling from between his fingers, burning away without being used. Toshi waited patiently. "... I said I would not." All for One finally said as he came back to himself. There's a tension to his mouth now. He's unhappy about it. "Your trust was hard enough to earn as it was. However..."

AfO is in Toshi's personal space now, a wall of heat pushing back the encroaching chill of the evening. Toshi braced a hand against the railing and shifted to face him, brow quirked. AfO always did like to crowd when he wanted to make a point or had something important to say.

"Do you remember what I said to you that last night we were here?" There's that crooked grin again, charming and threatening and so very well practiced. "When you played at hero when you didn't need to? When you were bleeding out and I had to carry you to safety?"

Toshi swallowed a sudden lump in his throat. "When - yes, what are you getting at?"

AfO finally brings the cigarette to his lips and takes a lazy drag. Smoke curls through the air, and Toshi breaths it in with shiver, remembering a time when he would have doubled over, unable to breathe.

"I can't fault you for being a hero." AfO said. "It's who you are at your core. You're the perfect hero, and I so utterly adore that. You're here to help, because of course you are, you're All Might."

Even when praising him it sounds condescending.

"But I want you to remember what I told you then." AfO flicked the cigarette carelessly to the ground and crushed it under the heel of his shoe. "About what will happen if your heroism gets the best of you, and you end up killing yourself."

At that, Toshi winced. Ah.

(a preview of THAT is this)

(imagine Toshi's head in AfO's lap after being shot by the president of the HPSC lmao...)

AfO's smile is all threat. "If you let your heroism get the best of you, and you end up killing yourself, then know that there is nothing left to prevent me from completing my initial goals and taking One for All for myself."

It wasn't the healthiest of ultimatums.

But it was one Toshi remembered laughing at after hearing it for the first time. Live, because if not then AfO would turn back into the supervillain he was at heart? 'Live, or else I kill everything you hold dear?' He'd thought it was kind of sweet. Hadn't wanted to question why.

Still doesn't want to question why. Even now, he finds it kind of sweet. Knows its... messed up.

He smiles at All for One, feeling warm. "Don't worry about me. I don't plan on dying anytime soon."

"Good boy." All for One croons, and his arms snake around Toshi's waist.

They stand together in silence for a moment, and the evening sky deepens around them. AfO breaks the silence. "I feel you should know it's actually quite difficult to behave. I'm showing remarkable restraint."

Toshi snorts against AfO's neck, muffling his laughter. "Good boy."

[skiller0dani]

Intoxicated | Klaus Hargreeves

M A S T E R L I S T TUA Masterlist

smut | teen!klaus x teen!reader requests info w.c | 8.9k summary | you fell in love with klaus when you were teenagers. but after he continues to relapse, you lose faith that he will get clean. when you see him again as an adult, has anything changed?

The first time you properly met Klaus you were both around 17, and he was slumped against the wall of an alleyway. His face was bare of facial hair, and he looked far too boyish for a needle to be still in his arm. You were only out looking for him as a favor to Allison, whom you’d known since you were both children. You never paid much attention to Klaus, or any of her other siblings but after hours of incessant begging you’d finally agreed to go look for him. You still remembered her frantic voice over the phone.

“Please? If my Dad notices Klaus is gone he’ll lock him up in the Mausoleum to dry him out.”

You might not care much for Klaus or his drug habit, but you couldn’t just let Mr. Hargreeves lock him up so that ghosts can torment him while he sobers up. You know Allison is just protecting him, but you can tell even she is starting to lose faith in Klaus. It’s honestly sort of heartbreaking. But hopefully if you get him back in time, maybe you can get him sober enough to fool Mr. Hargreeves into thinking Klaus finally cleaned up.

“Klaus!” You rush to him immediately, carefully pulling the needle out of his arm. You tuck it into your bag so that Grace can help you and Allison figure out what Klaus took. You trust that Grace wont tell Mr. Hargreeves, the only thing more powerful than the programming is her desire to protect her children. His eyes are barely open when he smiles at you, his pupils blown wide open. You brush his hair out of his face, his palm twitching in yours as you take his hand to pull him to stand.

“Can you stand?” You ask him, watching as his arm limply falls from your hand.

“You’re not really here, you’ve never even looked at me twice…” Klaus mumbles through a slack jaw. That’s when his eyes roll back.

“Klaus?” You gently slap his cheeks, trying to get his attention. You sigh deeply, worried when you see his eyes roll again behind closed eyelids. Is he seizing? His body jerks once before sliding further down the wall. You know you can’t leave him here, but you also know that you need Luther to come get Klaus, you can’t move him.

“Please don’t move, I’ll be right back.” You say hurriedly, cupping his cheeks to force him to look at you. Klaus grunts in what you can only hope is an acknowledgement that he heard you before you’re standing and sprinting for the Academy. By the time you’d reached your destination and had delivered your convincing argument to Luther, it’d been 45 minutes. You lead the way back to Klaus praying to God that he was exactly where you’d left him, but you doubt it. Sure enough, when you turned the corner into the alley, Klaus was nowhere to be seen.

“Shit!” You cursed, a panicked glint in your eyes as you helplessly turned to Luther.

“Please help me find him.” You plead, grasping desperately onto his arm. Luther has what you can only describe as a scowl on his face as he turns to you.

“I’m not doing this again.” He snapped.

“What do you mean?”

“Getting invested in Klaus’s recovery, I’m not doing it again. Letting myself believe that he could get clean only leads to more disappointment when he eventually uses again.” You can see layers of old scars in his eyes, reflections of all the times Klaus has relapsed and let his siblings down.

“Luther I get it, really I do. But right now Klaus is God knows where, and when Reginald realizes-” The mention of his father causes Luther to stiffen considerably. Deep down Luther knows that Klaus wouldn’t have substance abuse issues if he didn’t spend half his childhood locked in that damn Mausoleum being tormented by the dead.

“Let’s just find him quickly.” You nearly celebrate when Luther finally relents but you don’t, instead you immediately start searching the surrounding streets and alleys in search of your resident junkie. You doubt Klaus could go very far, he’d been in really bad shape when you saw him last. He could hardly sit up let alone walk, did he crawl?

“Found him!” You hear Luther call, and when you turn you see Luther standing with Klaus slung over his shoulder at the end of the alleyway. Klaus has the hint of a smile on his face as Luther hauls him back, and you’d almost say Klaus looks entertained. Although, it could be the hallucinations making him smile like that. By the time you’d arrived back at the Academy, the mysterious needle you’d taken from Klaus’s arm earlier had been thoroughly tested by Grace.

“It’s heroin.” Allison’s shaky voice came from the doorway of Klaus’s bedroom. You turned to look at her, watching as nothing but anger fills her eyes.

“He promised me that he’d never done any hard drugs, he promised it was just weed and painkillers! And he’s injecting heroin?” You can tell that she really is hurt, you can see the betrayal in her eyes before she’s turning out of his room.

“Allison-”

“No, I won’t watch him slowly kill himself. In 2 weeks when we finally turn 18 he’ll be gone anyway. Don’t forget to invite me to his funeral.” She snaps, wiping her eyes before slamming his door shut. It was then that you’d decided not to give up on him, because the second everyone lost faith in him was the second they signed his death certificate. Loving an addict is harder than you would think, but you were willing to be Klaus’s person, so long as he was dedicated to getting better. If Klaus gives up on himself, then there’s no point. So you sat on the edge of his bed and used a rag to wipe away dried vomit on his face and neck, plus you dabbed at a closing gash on his head which was still bleeding a little.

“Y/N?” You hear him mumble, and when you look up at him again you see his eyes have cracked open. You brush his hair off his forehead, and the look in his eyes has your entire body heating up. It’s not a particularly provocative look, more of a hungry curiosity. There was still gentleness there, and a sincerity beneath it all. All his siblings have given up on him at this point, and deep down you think Klaus knows that. They’ve reached the point that the next time Klaus goes missing, they won’t look for him or even worse- they won’t even realize he’s gone. The thought breaks your heart.

“Hi.” You can’t think of anything else to say. Klaus reaches one hand up to wind into your hair, a sly smile crossing onto his face.

“Can’t say I remember the last time we properly spent quality time together.” He raises one brow, his hazel eyes twinkling mischievously.

“That’s because we never have.”

“What a shame.” The smug smile on his face makes your cheeks heat up embarrassingly. You feel all mushy in his presence.

“You have to get clean before Reginald gets home tomorrow.”

“Oh wouldn’t want to disappoint daddy dearest.” You can practically taste the sarcasm in his tone, but still he keeps that damn smile stretched across his face.

“He’ll lock you away if he finds out, stop pretending like this isn’t a big deal.” You sigh, standing to find him clean clothes. Klaus pushes himself onto his elbows, his head is swimming. The nausea twisting his gut is hard to ignore, but watching you bend over in those tight jeans has him ignoring the discomfort. He wouldn’t miss the show for anything.

“Enjoying yourself?” You ask him once you notice him staring. You use snarky comments to hide how flushed you are, how flustered you are from the heat in his gaze.

“Enjoying the view.” Is all Klaus says, and you know he can see how red your cheeks are. You shake your head as you toss clean clothes at him, quickly diverting your eyes when he begins to undress with you still in the room.

“Jesus, warn me next time!” You squeak as you turn your eyes to the ground when he tosses his dirty pair of tight jeans at you along with his shirt. You hear the zipper of his tight black jeans pull up and that’s when you decide it’s safe to look. When you eye him again, he’s sitting up on the bed pulling his shirt on over his head.

“What’s the fun in that?” Despite his snarky comebacks and the smirk on his face, you can tell he doesn’t feel good at all. There are bags under his eyes and he winces every time he moves. You place a hand on his shoulder when he tries to stand, a look he can’t quite read on your face.

“I’m gonna make you something to eat, please don’t go anywhere.” The genuine fear in your eyes as you look down at him has Klaus rooted to the bed. Suddenly a fear of letting you down cripples him then, and he can only manage a nod before you’re leaving the room.

//

The first time you saw Klaus overdosing you had come home from work early. It was a few months since you and Luther found him in that alleyway, and he’d made no attempts to clean up. Of course you thought he was clean and attending meetings. Klaus knew you’d be heartbroken if you knew the truth, and he was borderline worried you’d kick him out if you knew he spent most of the day high. If he knew that you’d fallen head over heels for him, he wouldn’t be worried about being kicked out. Klaus was clean the first week he moved in with you, but then came the ghosts. Their voices echoing in his head, their bloodied and battered bodies plaguing his every waking moment. He had clamped his hands over his ears to try and block them out, and he actually endured the tortuous voices for 17 hours before he gave in and popped some oxy.

“Klaus I’m back-'' Before you could finish whatever you were saying you spotted him lying unconscious on the living room floor. You dropped a glass platter and everything felt like it was happening in slow motion. You immediately scrambled towards him as the glass shattered everywhere. Your hands cupped his cheeks as tears filled your eyes, and you could not stop shaking.

“K-Klaus?” You gasped, shaking his shoulders to no avail. His body was practically lifeless, and his skin was almost gray and colorless. You lifted his wrist to check his pulse, and nearly burst into tears of relief when you felt a pulse but it was fading fast.

“Damnit Klaus!” You sobbed to yourself, leaning down to see if he was breathing. You held your breath, and prayed you would hear his faint breath. When you didn’t, it felt like you had been plunged into cold water. The panic struck you deep in your chest and you quickly sat up to perform CPR. You tilted his head back as the tears flowed down your cheeks, and you quickly started compressions. You reached into your pocket to press the stupid little life alert button you’d purchased when Klaus moved in. In moments like this you knew you needed a quick way to call an ambulance. You listened for his breathing once more, and cried softly when you still didn’t hear any breathing.

“Klaus please, please.” You didn’t know what you were pleading for, but you were so desperate for him to be okay that you couldn’t think straight. You continued compressions and then breathing into his mouth for 10 minutes before the emergency services arrived. They nearly had to pry you off him before shoving a breathing tube down his throat, and injecting him with something in a syringe. You’d climbed into the ambulance next to Klaus, his hand held tightly in yours. He looked lifeless in the hospital room, his eyes were closed and there were tubes sticking out of him. The steady beeping from the monitor was your only clue that his heart was still beating. You called his siblings, but after 5 hours you figured they weren’t going to come, you doubt they’d even listen to the message. Underneath the fear there’s anger, so much anger. How could he do this to you? He lied to you. He said he was clean! Did he ever attend a meeting or was that just a lie to go get more weed and pills?

“Hey you.” You hear his raspy voice from beside you. Once he started breathing on his own again they replaced the breathing tube for oxygen in his nose. The doctors said they would need to keep him here until he completely detoxed. There are tears welling in your eyes and you refuse to meet his eyes, you’re upset and he knows that.

“Baby I’m sorry.” Klaus tries, his hand reaching out for yours. You keep your arms folded as a tear finally falls down your cheek. Klaus hates seeing you cry and he hates even more that he is the reason you’re crying. You weren’t entirely surprised to hear him call you baby, you and Klaus have gotten close during the time he’s been living with you.

“Please look at me.” Klaus begs, a break in his voice that lets you know he has tears in his eyes. You lifted your gaze to meet his, and you see how sick he looks. His skin is gray, his eyes are sunken in and they have bags under them.

“How could you? You lied to me.” Your voice is soft, broken. This is the first time Klaus has truly let you down and you can’t help but wonder if this is how his siblings have felt every time he’s let them down. You see guilt flash in his eyes, the look in your eyes is worse than any other look Klaus has received from his brothers and sisters.

“What if I didn’t get off work early? Then you’d be dead Klaus!” You sobbed, tears wracking your body.

“Baby I swear when I get out I’ll get it together. I-I’ll clean up I promise.” A stray tear falls down his cheek and Klaus quickly reaches up to wipe it away. His hands are trembling when they reach for yours again but you still don’t budge.

“No Klaus, you’re going into fucking rehab. I can’t live with the constant fear of coming home and finding you dead. I love you too much to lose you.” The last part slips out by accident, but you can’t take it back. Klaus’s eyes widen as another tear trails down his cheek, and this time he doesn’t wipe it away.

“You love me?” How could he not know? You laugh bitterly as tears continue to cascade down your cheeks.

“Yes I do, and if you give even half a damn about me you’ll check into rehab.” You beg, your watery eyes finding his. Klaus lays his head back, his own teary eyes looking up to the ceiling before they close and he takes a deep breath.

“I love you so fucking much, so I’ll do it. For you.” Klaus finally whispers, reaching for you one last time and this time, you take his hand.

//

“Please tell me you’re going to take this seriously. Please? I-I can’t lose you.” You beg a few days later once Klaus was finally cleared to leave the hospital, but he would be going right to rehab. The doctors had him sign a document agreeing to be taken straight to an intensive rehab program as soon as he was released from the hospital. Klaus in all honesty was a tad bit put off by the idea of going into rehab, and was downright terrified of having to deal with the voices. Luckily he had Ben with him to help keep him sane while he was in rehab. Klaus really does love you, and he really does want to give sobriety a shot- but only for you.

“I promise, I already said I was really going to try.” Klaus sighed, turning his gaze down to look at you.

“You have no idea what that was like for me Klaus. Coming home to your lifeless body, I-I thought you were fucking dead.” You snapped, looking away from him as tears build in your eyes again. You’re so sick of crying. You feel his fingers grasping your chin, turning your head to look at him.

“I’m not dead baby, I’m here. I’m gonna get clean, and I’m gonna stay clean. I promise.” Klaus whispered before pressing his lips against yours. What you didn’t know then was that Klaus would be making that promise a hundred more times, and he’d be breaking it a hundred times. Deep down he didn’t want to get clean, he didn’t care enough about himself to try. The dead were too overwhelming, too scary, too much. Klaus couldn’t handle it, he didn’t want to. What he wanted was to be completely numb. The kiss was watery, but you pressed against him with such ferocity you almost took him by surprise.

“Mr. Hargreeves? The van is here.” A nurse says, clearing her throat awkwardly from the door. Klaus breaks the kiss first, his forehead pressed against yours. You can’t stop the tears as they trail down your cheeks. You sling his bag over your shoulder as the two of you head outside together. You see a man in scrubs take Klaus’s bag as other patients from the hospital pile into the van.

“I’ll only be gone for 3 months. Be back in a flash.” Klaus smiles, but the mischievousness doesn’t quite meet his eyes.

“I love you.” You whisper as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“I love you.” Is the last thing you hear him whisper before he’s climbing into the van.

//

Klaus’s sobriety didn’t last long after rehab. Sure he’d attended all the group therapy sessions, and the annual detox therapy, he saw his therapist and followed the steps. He’d gone through the entire agonizing process of detoxing from the drugs. He wanted to be better, but then the voices came once more. Wailing in his ear about how desperately they wished to be alive, all the horrible details of their death, all the people they left behind. Ben tried to talk Klaus through it, to help him embrace his powers rather than reject them. But when Klaus sat straight up in bed, your sleeping body next to him and a thousand desperate voices screaming in his head he couldn’t take anymore.

“Don’t do this.” Ben pleaded, although he sounded defeated more than desperate. But Klaus’s shaking hands were already reaching for the closest pair of pants, which happened to be one of your skirts. Klaus was way more than itching for a fix, he was downright clawing for one. His eyes were wild as he stood up slowly, careful not to wake you up.

“She trusts you Klaus.” Ben tries again, he’s begun resorting to guilt tripping to keep Klaus sober. For the last few days it’s seemed to work, but Ben doubts it’s going to work now. Klaus is too far gone. “That isn’t going to last forever, eventually she will give up on you.”

“Shut up.” Klaus hisses, pulling sneakers on before turning for the door of the apartment. Ben appears in the doorway of the staircase, and Klaus raises a brow.

“Save whatever speech you have planned, I need it now.” Klaus says desperately, walking down the stairs- through Ben.

“Screw you Klaus, you’re taking advantage of her!” Ben snaps, you may not know Ben is around but he’s gotten to know you. He cares about you, in a sisterly way, and he hates seeing Klaus take your love and throw it away.

“Shut the hell up Ben.” There is genuine anger in Klaus’s tone now, his fists clenched as he continued towards where his normal dealer hangs out. Ben doesn’t particularly like hurting Klaus, but dammit someone has to stop him from destroying his own life.

“If you really cared about Y/N, you’d turn around and go home. She’s still laying in bed, thinking you’re next to her. How amazing is it that she wants you to be next to her, and you don’t seem to care at all. If I was alive, I’d love her right.” Ben yells, and this causes Klaus to freeze.

“Like hell you could! Y/N only wants me.” Klaus insists, but Ben can see the insecurity swirling in his eyes.

“For how long? When she realizes you relapsed again she isn’t going to want anything to do with you. Or you could go home Klaus, and put her first for once.” Ben says, his voice calmer this time. Tears well in Klaus’s eyes, he loves you more than anything on this whole planet.

“I’m sorry, I need it.” Klaus whispers before turning down the alley to see his dealer. This time, Ben doesn’t follow him. He can’t watch Klaus overdose again, he can’t watch him throw you away for drugs.

//

The first time you have sex with Klaus, he was high. You don’t know that, and Klaus knows exactly how you’d react if you did. It was a month since Klaus had gotten out of rehab, and you believed it also signaled a month of sobriety for him. In reality, Klaus hadn’t even made it a week before he relapsed after rehab. You wanted to celebrate with him, to do something nice for him. Ben watched you light candles while Klaus took a “nap”. It made him sick to see you do so many nice things for Klaus, while Klaus was really shooting up in your shared bathroom. You’re out here setting up something nice to celebrate Klaus’s sobriety, and he’s injecting heroin into his veins. It truly does make Ben sick. You lit the last candle, and when you reached up to remove your robe and reveal your lingerie- Ben disappeared. He isn't a pervert, he knew where this was going.

“Klaus?” You called nervously, smoothing your babydoll lace as you sat on the bed. You knew you wanted this, you were just nervous. When he emerged from the bathroom, his eyes widened as they landed on your nearly exposed breasts. He’d never seen you so naked before. Klaus swallowed a thick lump in his throat, and suddenly everything felt hotter, and tighter.

“Hey.” Is all he can say before an easy smile makes its way across his face.

“I just wanted to congratulate you on 1 month of sobriety.” You say softly with a smile, and then all the happiness drains away. Klaus feels sick to his stomach as guilt nearly brings him to his knees. You believe in him, and he’s pissing it all away. He wished he was stronger, but he isn’t. Klaus is weak and he isn’t worth it, and soon you’re going to realize that.

“You didn’t have to do this.” Klaus whispers and you shrug with a nervous smile on your face.

“You don’t like it?” You ask, your eyes widening. You’re really putting yourself out there and you can only hope he likes this. Klaus takes a step forward, his hands landing on your hips.

“No baby I do! I love this.” Klaus reassures you, and you feel your cheeks heat up when you see his eyes go wandering down your body. HIs lips lower to yours then and you feel like you’re up in the clouds. Klaus feels his heart breaking with every tender movement, every gentle brush of your fingers through his hair. It’s all he can do but to grab you and press you against his body with a bruising force. The desperation in his movements is what catches you off guard, his hands are hauling your thighs up around his waist. Normally Klaus isn’t this assertive in the bedroom, but he needs to feel your skin against his. He needs to know you’re here with him, because soon you won’t be. He knows that.

It’s not long before you’re undressed and your legs are spread open for him, and Klaus has no idea what he ever did to deserve you. Deep down he knows he doesn’t, you deserve someone like Ben. Maybe that’s why what Ben said really struck a nerve, because deep down Klaus knows if Ben were alive- you’d choose him. You’d never choose Klaus if he were being compared to Ben. Klaus grasps his cock in his hand before guiding the head into your tight opening, and when he pushes into you- it feels like absolute heaven. But there’s only one thought on Klaus’s mind, I don’t deserve this.

//

The second time you see Klaus overdose, it’s the morning after the best night of your life. It’s the morning after you sleep with him, the morning after you feel truly connected to him like you’re one. You stretched with a yawn, a smile on your face as your hand reaches over to where Klaus is sleeping next to you. When your hand finds cold sheets your eyes blink open, he’s already awake?

“Klaus?” You call softly, waiting for a response. When you don’t get one you finally drag yourself out of bed, you enter the living room. Again no sign of Klaus whatsoever. Panic creeps into your chest then, he’s just out getting coffee or something to surprise you. You bite nervously at your nails before you turn back to your room to push into the bathroom. The sight before you draws a gasp from you. Klaus is slumped against the wall, his arm still on the toilet with the tourniquet around his arm. The needle is on the lid of the toilet next to his arm, and you immediately rush towards him.

“What have you done?” You whisper desperately, reaching for the life alert you have in the bathroom. You have one in every room in your apartment, which at the time felt like overkill but now looking back on it you’re happy you did. You pull Klaus to lay on his back, yanking the tourniquet off his arm. You try to feel for a pulse, and much to your horror you don’t feel a pulse. You frantically press your ear to his chest, his heart isn’t beating.

“Oh my God Klaus!” You nearly scream in horror, balling your fist up and slamming it down on his chest as hard as you can. You continue to do this, tears cascading down your cheeks. He’s dead, his heart isn’t beating.

“Klaus, why? You said you were sober!” You scream in pure emotional agony. You hardly notice when the paramedics arrive until they pull you away from him.

“H-his heart isn’t beating. Please help him.” You beg as they rush him out of the apartment, but this time...you don’t go with him. You’ve finally reached the point all of Klaus’s siblings reached, the point where you just can’t take being let down anymore. You believe in him, you feel hopeful. Then you feel lower than low when you realize he relapsed again, you can’t do this anymore. You can’t take the let down anymore.

It’s a few days before you go see Klaus in the hospital, and you know what you have to do but you’re not sure you have the strength to do it. Klaus is sitting in bed, eating chocolate pudding, and this time he looks worse than last time. He glances up at you when you come in, and he has to do a double take.

“Baby-”

“Please don’t. I don’t want to hear your excuses, or your promises to get clean.” You interrupt, and it’s only just now that he notices a suitcase in your hand. There are tears endlessly falling down your cheeks, and inside you feel completely dead. Klaus knows what the suitcase is for, he knows that you’ve lost faith in him. Just like Ben predicted you would, but despite the fact that this is all Klaus’s fault...Ben still sits nearby with a look of sadness upon his face.

“What’s the suitcase for?” Klaus brings himself to ask the dreaded question even though he already knows the answer. You swallow a lump before depositing the suitcase on a chair at the end of his bed.

“That’s all your stuff. D-Don’t come back to my apartment. Don’t call. I can’t be with you like this.” You cry, watching as the broken look on your face crosses onto Klaus’s.

“Baby please don’t do this. Just give me another chance, I’ll stay clean this time-” But you’re already shaking your head, taking slow steps back towards the door.

“We’re over Klaus. I’m done. I can’t be terrified of finding your dead body, I can’t wonder where you are at night or where you’re going when you sneak out. I can’t live like this anymore, I don’t want to live like this.” You sob, your shoulders shaking as you cry softly.

“Please don’t give up on me, not you.” Klaus pleads, and the look in his eyes nearly makes you change your mind, But then you remember where he is, that he did this to himself. You shake your head.

“You’ve given me no choice Klaus! I can’t take it anymore, I can’t handle anymore heartbreak.” You snap, tears heavy on your cheeks.

“I can get my shit together, I can!” Klaus pleads as your hand finds the door handle. He can’t lose you, not you. Anybody but you.

“I know you can, but I can’t wait around wondering if you’ll get your shit together before you overdose and die. I can’t wait around hoping the latter will come first. Goodbye Klaus.” You open the door and step into the hallway.

“No, Y/N please. I love you.” You hear Klaus call before you’re closing the door behind you. Your heart shatters as you do, and continues to shatter as you walk away.

Despite what you said, he called. He called over and over again and even came to your apartment. You remember him knocking and begging you to open the door, you had slid down the wall sobbing softly with your hand over your mouth. You love Klaus more than you’ve ever loved anyone, but you can’t watch him die. You can’t. You had to let him go and hope that someday he gets clean, and that he stays clean. You hope that someday he finds something or someone to stay clean for. Clearly, you weren’t enough.

“Please open the door, I know you’re in there.” Klaus begs, leaning against the closed door.

“She’s crying. I don’t think she’s going to open the door.” Ben says, poking his head through the door to look at you. His heart breaks for you, he tried to warn Klaus this was going to happen.

“I love you Y/N, just give me one more chance please.” Klaus tries again but you stay rooted to the floor, your body shaking through the tears.

“You’re hurting her Klaus.” Ben says softly, and Klaus finally takes a step away from the door with a look of realization on his face. He is hurting you. You don’t want him here, and as much as that kills him it’s the truth. The longer he sits here in the hallway, the more you’re going to cry. He has to let you go. He quickly wipes away falling tears before slinging his bag over his shoulder. Klaus leans down to slide something under the door before heading back down the stairs, and this time he isn’t going to be coming back. You turn to see a piece of paper with a plastic bag sitting on your kitchen floor. You lift the bag, and inside it is a necklace. It’s a silver heart with diamonds along the side, but on the inside is a rose made out of rose gold. You feel tears drifting down your cheeks as you turn to the note.

“Happy 1 Year Anniversary. I love you. -K”

You collapse to the floor, clutching the necklace and the note to your chest tightly. You never thought you would lose him, actually you were stupid enough to believe you could save him from himself. But you can’t save him, you never could. No matter how much you love him, it’s time to let him go and you can only hope that the next time you see him isn’t at his funeral.

//

-9 Years Later-

The letter clutched in your hand was one you never thought you’d be receiving. It’s from Allison, saying that her father died so she’s in town. You can’t fight the excitement you feel upon realizing you’re probably going to see her soon. You missed her. The prospect of running into Klaus crosses your mind, but c’mon what are the chances he’ll even show up? His father locked him in a Mausoleum for most of his childhood, you know for a fact that Klaus has no love for Reginald. You’re surprised Allison is going, but then again Reginald always did his little “experiments” on Klaus. Never the others. Besides Vanya, he treated Klaus the absolute worst. So you seriously doubt Klaus will turn up, plus you’ll only be there for like 10 minutes to see Allison. That’s the only reason you’re standing here, knocking on the door.

“It’s been a while Miss Y/L/N.” Pogo says once the door opens. You smile upon seeing him and can’t help yourself as you stoop down to hug him tightly. You’ve really missed Pogo these last few years. But you had to forget all of this, push it to the back of your mind. Any reminder of Klaus would cause you to collapse into tears, so you couldn’t think about any of it. There were a few times you nearly asked Allison to use her powers to erase your relationship with Klaus from your head. There was a while where you felt like you couldn’t be happy without him, but overall you did fine.

“Oh my God! Y/N!” You hear her before you see her and before you’ve even properly turned around Allison’s arms are winding around you tightly. You feel tears burning the backs of your eyes as you hug her back, it’s so good to see her. When Allison pulls back, her eyes scan your face before flickering behind you.

“Where’s Klaus?” If it were a few years ago, the question would have sent you to your knees in tears. You shake your head with a smile.

“We broke up a few years ago.” The pain behind your eyes is unmistakable. Allison nods before her gaze is flickering down to the necklace secured around your neck.

“Then what’s that?” She lifts the necklace in her hand, the necklace Klaus had slid under your door.

“It’s just a necklace I don’t know what you-”

“I helped him pick it out Y/N. It was the last time I talked to him.” She said and you nod slowly. You hold the metal in your hands, you’ve been wearing it every day since he gave it to you. Clinging to it like it’s the last piece of him you have, which is sort of true. You stole a few t-shirts of his too.

“I was just about to poke around in my Dad’s office, wanna come?” The playful glint in her eyes sends away the tears that were about to spill over your cheeks. You nod instantly, that was the one room they were never allowed to go into. You skip up the stairs behind Allison, running your fingers along the bannister. You remember all the times you ran up these stairs with Allison, either running away from Reginald or Pogo. Or the times you’d gotten hurt and Grace was there to run her fingers through your hair and hold you to her chest, she really was the best mom. She was a mom to you too, your own parents are pieces of shit and the only person you ever really had was Grace.

“Wow, so weird being in here.” You say once you two breach the threshold into the office. It only takes a few seconds for you to hear someone rummaging around in the drawers. You doubt Luther could fit behind the desk without you seeing him so it’s not him, and you just saw Diego in the hallway. Vanya was downstairs last time you checked so that means…

“Klaus?” Allison says it first. Your heart is in your throat as he stands to his full height, which is a few inches taller than the last time you saw him. He has facial hair, he doesn’t look like a boy anymore. He’s really grown into himself, he’s still super skinny though. His fashion style has changed a lot since the last time you saw him. He’s almost sort of feminine now, and you’d be lying if you said he didn’t look hot as hell. His eyes light up upon seeing her, a wide smile stretched across his face. He hasn’t seen you yet, so you’re going to just sneak out. You turn and head for the door when you hear his voice.

“Y/N? That you?” You hear the happiness edging at the tone of his voice. You can’t bring yourself to turn around, you can’t look into his eyes and remember how much you’ve missed him. He’s probably still using and you can’t get sucked into his addiction again. You stay stock still, tears burning at the corner of your eyes as you see him come into your view. He uses two fingers to tilt your chin up, and when you look into his eyes- it’s all over. They’re the same hazel eyes that you remember, the same softness behind them. The tears trickle down your cheeks before you can stop them. You shove past him and out of the room just as Luther comes in, he lights up when he sees you but the look quickly falters when he sees the tears on your face. His gaze trails back to Klaus and then a look of realization finally reaches his eyes.

“You should go after her.” Ben suggests as he moves to sit on Reginald’s desk. Klaus doesn’t say anything as he empties his pockets of things he was planning to sell before Luther caught him.

“Klaus, you're like an open wound for her, fix it. I thought you loved her.” Ben snaps, and this time Klaus glares at him before storming out of the room.

“I do love her.” Klaus snaps back.

“So talk to her and stop being an idiot.” Ben says, and the anger in his eyes is unmistakable. Klaus groans, pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“How about, ‘I’m sorry’?” Ben suggests sarcastically. Klaus rolls his eyes. Turning towards the railing of the stairs, Klaus spots you next to a giant window. You’re stood with your arms crossed, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t happy to see you.

“Don’t think it’s going to be enough, but I’ll try.” Klaus says softly, looking into Ben’s eyes. Tucking the ornate box he stole from the office into his pants, Klaus makes his way towards you.

“Hey you.” Is all he says, but hearing him say those words with his voice, it’s almost too much. It sends you right back to the first time you saw Klaus overdosing, it’s what he said in the hospital room when he woke up. You push a smile onto your face through the tears.

“Hey.” You wipe away a falling tear as you turn to look at him, and you see his eye fixated on your neck. Klaus reaches up to touch the necklace, there’s a smile on his face.

“You’re wearing it.”

“I never took it off, since you gave it to me.” You admit softly. Klaus looks up to meet your eyes again, and you swear he’s wearing eyeliner. Why is that so hot? Why is him dressing sort of like a woman so damn sexy?

“So, I hate this small talk but how have you been?” Klaus asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets. You casually wipe away a few tears, pretending that neither of you know why you’re crying. Even though you both know you’re crying because of him, again. What kills you the most is that everything else about him looks different enough for you to convince yourself that it’s a different person. But his eyes are the same. The same soft, puppy like eyes and every time you look into them you see the broken look on his face when you broke up with him.

“Good. I’m good, you?” You and Klaus really did detest small talk, but when it comes to you two you need to take baby steps. Maybe you can be friends but you doubt it, either way you have to take it slow. Really slow.

“I’m great.” He says with a wide smile, you nod once before turning your gaze out the window again. There’s one question poking at your head, refusing to be ignored. So you lick your lips and slowly turn to him.

“Klaus?”

“Hm?”

“Did you have anywhere to go after I...I um-”

“After you kicked me out?” You don’t expect the words to sting so much when he says them, you don’t think he intended to say it bitterly but he did. You nod.

“No I didn’t, but I figured it out.” He says with a shrug. You feel guilty as you look back out the window, and that’s when you notice him inch closer to you.

“I’ve missed you Y/N.” He says softly, turning his body to face yours. You feel tears in your eyes again, you know what he’s doing.

“Don’t.” You say softly, but his arms reach on either side of you to grasp the railing behind you- effectively trapping you in place.

“I really missed you.” Klaus says sincerely, his lips ghosting over yours. It’s too much.

“Stop! We can’t do this again Klaus.” You gasp, shoving him away from you. Klaus’s eyebrows knit together, but you know he really isn’t surprised.

“Baby I’m different now, I won’t let you down again-”

“Really? Then what’s this?” You snap as tears drift down your face. You grasp the bracelet on his wrist, the bracelet from rehab next to the one from the emergency room. You see him shrink in on himself, knowing that he had in fact been caught.

“After all these years and you’re still using, and you overdosed again? Do you know how lucky you are to be alive? Dammit Klaus, I’m not getting pulled into this bullshit again. I can’t.” You yell, crying uncontrollably now.

“But I still love you, I’m so fucking in love with you.” Klaus pleads and you know he means it. The annoying part is that you love him too, there’s never going to be a time in your life that you’re not in love with Klaus. You shake your head, you really wished you could control your damn emotions. You turn to storm down the stairs when you feel his fingers gently close around your wrist.

“I know you love me, you wouldn’t wear that necklace if you didn’t.” Klaus says desperately, a look in his eyes you can’t quite place.

“Please Y/N, just kiss me. One more time, please.” Klaus pleads, and you close your eyes as you release a heavy breath. You grasp onto his shirt tightly before pulling his lips down to meet yours. Klaus sighs happily against your lips as his hands grasp tightly at your own shirt, pulling you as close to his body as you can get. Your lips move against each other, and you can already feel the heat rising. You moan against him when his hand slips between your legs on the outside of your jeans. You pull away from him as he presses his palm against your core.

“W-We can’t do this Klaus.” You gasp, your head tilting back as he grinds his hardening cock against you. He winds his arms around your waist, his lips finding the sweet spot just under your ear. You mewl softly, your hands grasping his shoulders tightly.

“Sure we can, you don’t want a relationship- fine. Doesn’t mean we can’t have a physical relationship.” He whispers, biting at your neck in a way that makes you feel like you’re melting. You sigh softly as his hand slides under your shirt and up your back.

“C’mon baby, let me make you feel good. Use me to get off. Please.” His filthy words send another wave of arousal through you. You look into his eyes and when you see the heat simmering in them, you know you can’t say no.

“God please make me cum Klaus.” You plead hoarsely, and his lips press against yours again. He hauls your legs around his waist as he takes a back hallway to his bedroom. He presses you against the wall outside of his bedroom, grinding his cock up against your core. His lips trail kisses from the corner of your mouth, all the way down the column of your throat. Your head tilts back and hits the wall, your entire body buzzing.

“Just please tell me, are you high right now?” You gasp, his hand toying with the button of your jeans. Klaus hums in thought.

“A little.” He admits, and it definitely bothers you, but you need to cum so damn badly that you don’t care too much. Klaus kicks the door shut behind him before dropping you onto the bed, his hands yanking your shirt over your head.

“Wait, is this my shirt?” He asks, lifting the fabric to inspect it.

“A memento, come here and kiss me.” You plead again, your bra joining his shirt not too long after. Klaus happily obliges, yanking his shirt over his head before his lips are on yours. Your hands find his scarf, which strangely looks good on him before pulling it from around his neck.

“Nice scarf.” You comment against his lips. Klaus’s tongue swiftly enters your mouth and you, honest to God whimper against his lips. No man has ever made you whimper before. Your hands reach down to unbutton his pants, and you begin to push them down his legs. Remarkably, Klaus has managed to keep the giant box tucked into his pants concealed, kicking it under the bed when you look down to help untangle the pants from his ankles. You help peel his pants off before you’re sliding onto the floor in front of him. You pump his cock in your hand a few times before you’re taking him down your throat. Klaus hisses as his head tosses back, and you have to admit that the way he looks sends heat between your legs. His arms holding himself up as his neck is exposed, his eyes squeezed shut, his chest heaving. He looks fucking beautiful. You lick a line up the underside of his cock, you still remember exactly what he likes. That’s honestly a little pathetic, but at this moment you couldn’t care less.

“Fuck baby I don’t remember you being so-” he’s cut off when you suck lightly, and he moans. “-being so good at this.”

He swallows thickly, daring himself to look down at you. The sight before him nearly makes him cum on the spot. You’re looking up at him through your lashes, there are tears in your eyes, and your mouth is stuffed full of his cock. He can see it bulging in your throat. You bob your head up and down his full length, but eventually Klaus yanks you off him by your hair.

“If you don’t stop I’m going to cum and I won’t get hard again.” He growls, pulling your lips against his. Klaus’s hands are quickly unbuttoning your jeans, his hands hooking into the waistband to push them down your legs along with your underwear.

“You’re too clothed.” He mumbles against your lips, you eagerly help him undress you. Klaus gently pushes you back against the mattress to lay underneath you, his hands pressed on either side of your head. His eyes are practically twinkling as he gazes down at you, and there’s a fond smile on his face as his fingers brush against the necklace once more.

“What?” You ask, your cheeks heating up from the look in his eyes.

“Nothing. Just...this is my happy place.” He says and you turn your head away when it starts to feel too emotional.

“This is just sex Klaus remember? We’re not getting back together.” You remind him, and you hate the crushed look in his eyes but he nods.

“Yeah, I remember.” He says softly, the head of his cock nudging at your entrance. You moan when you feel his tip sliding against your lips, and just that one sound has reignited the fire in Klaus’s eyes. He reaches down to grasp the base of his cock, watching with nearly sadistic eyes as he teases you by rubbing the head along your entrance.

“Don’t be an asshole.” You groan, your fingers curling around the sheets. Klaus leans down to press his lips against yours before he’s sliding into you in one languid thrust. Your breath catches in your throat as you wind your arms around his shoulders. You’re not as tight as Klaus was expecting, which can only mean one thing. You’ve had sex with somebody else, and deep down Klaus knows that he has no right to be upset about it. But he is, he’s really upset about it. He quickly sets a brutal pace, pinning your arms to the bed as he bites down softly on your lower lip. You wriggle one arm free so you can reach up and grasp tightly onto his neck, your fingers curled around his throat. Klaus’s eyes roll back as he continues to pump into you.

“Fuck I missed this.” Klaus groans, his other hand snaking between your bodies to toy with your clit. Klaus has slept with one other person since he was with you, but that was different. It was a man. To Klaus, sex with men is just as good as sex with women but nothing is as good as sex with you. There’s something about you that just makes his toes curl, that edges him a little higher. Maybe it’s because he’s helplessly in love with you, but who knows. Klaus knows he won’t last much longer, especially when you begin to clench around him. He missed being this close to you, feeling one with you. Feeling you. He missed it all, everything about you. He is going to get you back, Klaus has made it his goal to get clean. For you. He never wants to lose you again.

“I missed you,” You gasp, you can’t help it. You did miss him. More than you thought you would, and you thought that time would heal the wound but it didn’t. Actually, the more time that went on the more the wound seemed to open. Klaus continues to push into you roughly, the head of his cock hitting that sweet spot with every thrust. You hold his chest tightly to yours, your eyes squeezing shut when his fingers gently pinch your clit. The tidal wave breaks open then and you’re squeezing around him so tightly that it draws a strangled groan from him as you gush around him. You moan obscenely as you cum around him, your hands holding him tightly. Klaus gasps as he thrusts into you roughly before pulling out of you and instantly cumming all over your stomach.

“I needed that.” Klaus sighs happily, standing to clean your stomach off. You watch him toss the tissue in a trash can before reaching around for his clothes.

“Leaving?” You ask in disbelief, he won’t stay with you for a little bit? Klaus leans back over you before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Sorry baby, got an errand to run.” He says reaching under the bed to grab the box. Klaus slides the scarf around his neck once more, and when you see the box you know what he’s up to. He’s going to sell it for drug money. He tosses your clothes onto the bed before turning towards the door. Just before his hand tugs the door open, he turns towards you again.

“Be honest with me, do you still love me?” He asks and you bite down on your bottom lip.

“I still love you Klaus.” You admit, watching the small smile on his face.

“I love you too.” And before you know it, he’s out of the bedroom and closing the door behind him. It’s immediate that you should not have had sex with him, you should have said no but you couldn’t. Why?

Because Klaus is your addiction.

[wkemeup]

Sunrise (3)

summary: After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you. (Modern AU) pairings: bucky x reader chapter word count: 5.2k warnings: none 🧡 series masterlist / series playlist

Bucky stared down at the fresh coffee stained on the sidewalk; a caramel puddle nestling into the cracks and stretching along the lines until it spilled out into the street. He could smell the bitterness and the sweetness in the cream, the steam of it still warm as it filtered up into the cold, autumn air. He cursed at himself under his breath.  

You’d looked so beautiful, even with your eyes wide in shock and lips parted in a gasp as coffee spilled to your shoes. Dressed under an army green overcoat, a sliver of a burnt orange sweater peaked out from underneath. He’d seen that particular shade before, cast over a forest of evergreens and reflecting into the clouds, just above the sun as it set over the tree line.  

But he’d made a fool of himself in front of you and he could still feel the burning in his ears. He felt hot under his jacket and he found himself glancing down the street, wondering if he could make a run for it. Only, you were waiting for him inside and Bucky couldn’t stand the idea of disappointing you.

Gathering what remained of his courage, Bucky parted the double doors and stepped inside. It took a minute to let his eyes adjust, but when the dim lighting came into view, he noticed you were standing by the entrance waiting for him like you’d known he’d decide to follow. You beamed as he caught sight of you and his stomach twisted straight to knots. You were still clutching the donut box to your chest, almost as if you were afraid he’d knock that out of your hands, too.  

“Come on, you can help me set up.” You gestured down the hall to the room he met you in a few days prior. The library with no books on the shelves and cobwebs in the corners. “We’ve got to get you a book before the others show up.”

Bucky nodded, though he didn’t say anything as he followed you. It was pretty quiet without so many people lingering around, but everyone seemed to smile as you approached; perking up from under their clouds and called out your name until you waved back at them. It was like you carried sunshine in your pockets and comfort in your presence, breaking away stormy skies as you passed by.  

Before you could reach the library door, Bucky rushed out ahead of you and grabbed a hold of the knob. You paused, eyes catching his for a moment and a pink filtered into his cheeks. He cleared his throat.  

“Figured I could do one decent thing today after I ruined your shoes,” he explained, pulling open the door for you.  

“You showed up, didn’t you?” you added with a wink. “I count two decent things today, James Barnes.”

He chuckled at that, nodding. “Y-Yeah, okay.”  

You set the donuts on the coffee table and began to push the furniture around into a circle. You shouldered most of your weight into the couch to get it to budge and Bucky couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips just watching you. Concentrated frown on your face, determination in your eyes, staring down the couch as if it were your sworn enemy.  

“You need help with that?” Bucky asked, gesturing to the couch that barely moved a few inches while you were out of breath.  

You glanced up at him over the spine of the couch, nodding gratefully. “This one always gives me trouble.”

“I’m sure if you waited for the others to show up, they’d help you move these around,” Bucky said as he placed his right hand on the back of the armrest, his knee digging into the center of the back. You stood next to him, hands on the frame to help push despite the fact that Bucky was strong enough, even without his left arm, to move the couch on his own. But he liked the idea of you beside him, so he didn’t say anything.  

“Oh, I’m sure they would,” you exhaled as they couch slid perfectly into place within the circle. “They all work so hard though, you know? It’s nice to have them just walk in and sit down for a change. Don’t need them thinking I’m expecting work out of them, too.”

“Ah, so that's why I’m here, then...”  

He was surprised by the teasing in his own voice. When was the last time he made a joke? He couldn’t even remember. But you started to smile, that brightness shining right up into your eyes, and it didn’t matter anymore. He’d make a thousand jokes if you would keep looking at him like that.  

“Careful now,” you warned, a glimmer in your eye. “I might need you to help move this couch every week...”

“Wouldn’t be such a bad thing, would it?”  

He didn’t know where this was coming from or how it slipped off his tongue so easily, but he liked the way it seemed to catch your off guard. You stilled for a second, a nervous laugh under your breath as you quickly tucked away a few strands of fallen hair. You were flustered. Shit. He was done for.  

“Haven't even seen one meeting and you’re offering to move couches for me on a weekly basis? Consider me eternally grateful, James Barnes.” You plopped down on the couch, reaching for the strap of your bag, though it was a few inches out of reach.  

Bucky leaned down and picked up the bag, surprised to find it as heavy as it was, and gently set it in your lap. He took a seat on the couch on your left, though he left considerable room between you. You started digging through the bag, pulling out book after book and setting them on the table.  

“We’ve got to pick your book of choice,” you explained, smiling at him and clearly eager to see what he would select. “Anything you want. I can get something else from the library for next week if you’re not interested in these. I’ve got some guys reading Harry Potter for the first time. Lang’s on the second Twilight book. Romanoff is halfway through The Odyssey. Barton’s about a few pages to the end of a murder mystery he guessed the plot twist of within the first ten pages, which is just downright infuriating...”

Your nose was all scrunched up and it was the damn near cutest thing Bucky had ever seen. He must have been staring for too long though, because you raised a brow at him.  

Bucky cleared this throat, quickly looking away. He scratched nervously at the back of his neck and tried to steer the conversation strictly away from how adorable he found you.  

“Isn’t the point of a book club to read the same book?”

“I suppose,” you shrugged, “but not my book club. The whole point is just to help these guys feel comfortable, give them a moment of peace, even if it’s for an hour once a week. Sometimes we’ll sit around the circle and talk about what we’re reading. Lang’s working really hard to sell the Twilight books to the rest of the group despite being about a decade late to the game. Most times though, we just read, listen to some music. It’s quite nice, actually.”

So that was what Sam meant by unconventional.

“I don’t know the last time I read anything,” Bucky admitted slowly. He could barely get himself to concentrate on a single newspaper article these days, let alone an entire book. He often caught himself staring at the TV and realizing an episode later that he didn’t have a clue what had happened.  

“A lot of the guys take breaks,” you offered, seemingly reading his mind. “That’s what the donuts are for. Oh, and the coffee, of course.”

You jumped up, making your way over to the pots sitting on the table lining the wall. The pots were already filled and he wondered who took the time to do that for you before you even arrived. You were so well liked around here, Bucky found himself wondering if he wasn’t the only one who felt like you could tell him to do just about anything and he’d oblige without question.

“You want some?” you asked, holding up an empty cup, but Bucky shook his head. He was already starting to get warm and adding coffee to the mix wouldn’t help things.  

You didn’t seem to mind as you shrugged off your jacket and draped it by the door. The orange sweater he’d caught a glimpse of under your jacket turned out to be a cardigan. It flowed long down by your thighs, draped over a simple, white tank top and black jeans. Gold jewelry sat over your collarbone and you had a sudden glow about you, like that hour just before sunset.

Golden hour, he realized. That’s what you reminded him of.  

“It’s warm in here, isn’t it?” you asked, fanning yourself as you set the coffee on the table. “It’s not just me?”

It’s definitely you, Bucky thought. He’d never met anyone who carried such a presence as to melt the icy cold shards planted defensively around his chest. You were the epitome of warmth and kindness and the sweetest damn thing he’d ever seen... but a trail of sweat lined his hairline and he could feel the heat trapped under his jacket.  

“Not you,” Bucky confirmed, brushing at his brow. “It’s hot.”

“Here,” you stood up, holding out a hand to him, “I can take your jacket for you.”

Bucky froze, jaw clenched. He became painfully aware of the empty sleeve on his left side. He wasn’t a complete fool. He knew you must have noticed by now, but taking the jacket off made it obvious that a piece of him was missing, the stub at his shoulder the only thing left in place of an arm he could still feel most days.  

“I’m, uh, I’m okay,” he stuttered out, his eyes falling to the ground, hoping you didn’t notice the flush in his cheeks. He could feel your eyes on him and he was almost certain that if he dared to look up at you, you’d be fixated on his empty sleeve.  

Shame started to burn hot in his chest when suddenly he felt a cool breeze on the back of his neck. When he looked in search of you, he found you setting up a fan at the edge of the room, angling it just enough so that it was sure to reach him on every rotation.  

He swallowed as he watched you. You didn’t ask questions or push him to take the jacket off despite being clearly too warm to keep it on. Instead, you offered him a short smile as you sat back on the couch beside him, a little closer this time.  

“Any better?”

He nodded. “Yeah, that’s, uh, that's really nice. Thanks.”

You smiled for him and he wondered if he could stay inside that moment forever.  

***

Bucky selected The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Gilman from the stack of books on the table. It surprised you as his hand ghosted over the cover before flipping it over in his palm, a curious look on his features. It was one of your favorites, one not many would choose to pick up in fear of the publishing date in the late 1800s, but it was a short story, one he could finish within the span of the meeting today.  

As he stared down at the unusual yellow pattern on the cover, a frown pushed at his lips as he started to see the strange images hidden under the surface. You found yourself struggling to tear your gaze away from him. With such a reaction to the cover, you couldn’t wait for the end of the meeting just to hear what he thought of the story.  

Soon, the usuals started filtering into the room and you noticed that Bucky had barely said a word as the low hum of small talk and chatter filled the empty space. He kept to himself, perched on the very edge of the couch cushion like he might run at any second as you talked with one of the oldest VA members by the door.  

Upon sensing his discomfort, you quickly made your way back to the couch and you were surprised when you felt the cushion dip a little as he leaned in your direction as if he was using you as anchor; something familiar amongst an unknown. You tried to suppress a smile when he looked at you, but you really liked the idea of being something familiar to him.  

“I’m glad you decided to stay,” you told him quietly, nudging his side playfully with your shoulder. It drew a soft laugh from under his breath and he nodded, gripping tight to the book.  

“Yeah, me too.” He sank back into the couch and relaxed the tension in his body.  

Six on the dot. You turned to the group.  

Tony Stark sat in his usual throne, legs draped over the arm rest, sitting sprawled out over the single chair. Heir to Stark Industries, he’d enlisted himself in rebellion against his own father. He’d ended up in the Air Force for three tours and prided himself on the tattoo on his chest he’d gotten drunkenly off base in his early twenties.  

Natasha Romanoff found her place sitting cross legged on the floor, leaning up against the seat of Tony’s chair. She was a sort of a mystery to you, never spoke a word about her position within the military and how long she served, but she was exceptionally perceptive. Part of you wondered if she was some sort of super spy. Despite becoming a close friend, there was still so little you knew about her history. She rested a pillow in her lap.

Then, there was Scott Lang. He’d found himself in some trouble after his discharge, but he was turning his life around. He had a little girl to stick around for and he was trying desperately to find a job. You suspected his fascination with the Twilight books stemmed more from an unbreakable bond with his daughter than anything else. He took his place on the bean bag chair.  

Clint Barton sat on the table outside the circle. He was a sharp shooter in his time and found more comfort in the distance. He kept to himself and had an exceptionally entertaining habit of making quick remarks under his breath few were fortunate to hear. You were determined to hand him a book with a plot twist not even he could see coming. You resided to put Defending Jacob by William Landay on hold.  

A few others filled out the circle; familiar faces of men and women most would look past on the streets. Dark circles under their eyes, a hardened look about them. Some with tattoos and long beards, other’s draped in leather. Some, you could see the ghost of their former selves in their eyes, but they all seemed to lighten as they sat around the circle.  

A moment of peace. It’s all you could offer and they took it gladly.  

“Hey everyone. We’ve got a newbie in today.” You gestured to Bucky and he slowly lifted his hand in an awkward wave. “This is Bucky. Bucky, this is the group. Play nice.”

“What’s your rank, soldier?” Tony quipped from his chair; legs kicked out over the side. He never had much of a filter, or a sense of restraint. You shot him a glare he didn’t seem to notice, or rather he didn’t care.  

“Sergeant,” Bucky clarified, though you could hear the strain in his voice. He said it as though it burned him, like the very act of the title was painful just to speak.  

“Where’d you serve?”

“Tony, we’re not grilling the new kid today,” you warned, but Bucky cleared his throat.

“Afghanistan mostly.” He curled his hand into a fist, pinching at the pages of The Yellow Wallpaper in his grip. A hardness had swept over most of his features, almost in a protective layer, and you wanted to whack Tony upside the head for stealing the soft undertones in his expression.  

“And the rest?”

Bucky paused, releasing his fist. “Classified.”  

Tony pursed his lips, staring Bucky down over the top lens of his thick rimmed glasses. A testament of wills. A challenge. Then, he nodded, satisfied.  

“Great,” you groaned, rolling your eyes playfully. “Now that Tony here has finished interrogating our newest member, we can get started.”

“Hey, consider it my welcome to the group!” Tony hands thrown defensively in the air. Scott nodded from his couch, remembering his own initiation the day Tony demanded to know the extent of his robbery charges following his discharge.  

You shook your head, smiling spreading back to your lips and you were thankful to find that Bucky had sat back into the couch, relaxing as the attention moved back to you.  

“I think we’ll just spend today reading,” you said. “I’ll put on the playlist Tony recommended – and don’t worry, I did browse through to make sure he didn’t slip any rock anthems in again. We don’t need to give Dr. Selvig down the hall another heart attack when Back in Black starts blaring directly after Yiruma.”

The room laughed and you were purposeful in glancing over at Bucky to see if a smile caught on his lips. It was small, a little uncomfortable as his eyes flickered around the room at the other group members, but he seemed to soften as he landed on you again. You nodded at him.  

“Alright kids, hush up now.” You pressed play and the gentle strokes of a piano began to fill the room. “I’ll wake you in an hour.”

You waited until everyone settled in and opened their books. One of the older gentlemen in the back with a long and burly white beard and a leather vest draped over his shoulders set the open novel on his chest and promptly closed his eyes for his weekly nap. You smiled to yourself as you watched the heavy rise and fall of his chest – the man deserved one decent hour of rest a week, anyway.  

By the time you made your way back to the couch, you noticed Bucky had tensed up again. He was staring down at the book, harsh breaths pressing through his nose as he tried to keep the book propped open with on hand, losing his place as he tried to turn the page. His jaw was clenched so tight you wondered if he’d bite it clean off.  

He didn’t dare ask for help or so much as look in your direction, but it was a determination you’d come to expect from the people you met in these halls. It didn’t mean you couldn’t offer it anyway.  

You quietly opened a drawer at the edge of the room, pushing aside knick knacks and old ketchup packets until you came across a small wooden clip. One of the older members had used it when he was going through extensive PT for his hand and couldn’t pinch his fingers enough to grip the thin slip of the page. You pulled it from the drawer and quickly skirted your way back to the couch beside Bucky.

“Here,” you offered, extending the clip to him as the book fell closed on his lap for the fourth time. He looked up at you, confused. You wondered if he realized how cute he looked when his brows pinched together like that; made him look about ten years younger and wiped the evidence of the war clean off his face.  

You smiled at him. “It holds the pages down for you. Look.”

Gently pulling the book from his lip, you opened to the first page and set the clip at the bottom of the binding. When you released it, the pages stayed open, giving him free range of motion to turn the page without losing his place.  

He blinked a few times as he stared down at the book. It was clear he’d never considered a tool like this and you wondered how many times he had sat down with the intention of reading only to find he couldn’t even turn past the first page. He might have been able to figure out the skill in it if he’d had the patience, but you imagined his own frustration got in the way of that. He seemed to have little patience for himself, as soldiers returning home often did. 

There was a brief moment when the tips of his fingers brushed over yours as you pulled away. His hands were warm, almost feverish in comparison to the chill in your own. A blush warmed his cheeks and his eyes quickly darted down to the pages. Your stomach was in pleasant knots.  

“Thanks,” he replied quietly, a soft semblance of a smile rising sweetly at the edges of his lips.  

You nodded, settling in on the couch beside him and pulling your own book up into your lap. You listened to the gentle strokes of the piano carrying softly through the room until a page turned on your left and then, you let yourself sink into the bindings of the book perched upon your lap.  

***

“So! What did you think?!”

It was the first thing you said as the final group member exited the room. Barely even a footstep out the door and you were already anxiously awaiting his reaction. Bucky was busy pushing the couch back into its original position and he glanced back at you to see you biting nervously on your lip, hands wringing out in front of you. You were swaying onto your tip toes like a kid hyped up on sugar. It was the cutest damn thing he’d ever seen.  

“It was... a little creepy at the end?” Bucky chuckled, glancing down at The Yellow Wallpaper as it sat on the coffee table. “The woman went completely mad.”

You nodded vigorously, the smile on your face beaming and he had to watch himself to keep from mirroring your excitement.  

"It’s a critique on how women’s mental health was perceived in the nineteenth century!” you explained with that giddy look on your face, reaching down for the book and flipping the pages through your fingers, the soft brush of wrinkled paper touching over each thumbprint. “Women were believed to be weak minded and frail, unable to handle more than two hours of mental stimulation. The woman in the story was prescribed ‘rest’ by her physician to treat her depression, essentially restricting her to little more than staring at the walls.”  

You rolled your eyes, groaning dramatically, and drawing a smile to Bucky’s face that ached into his cheeks. “Slowly, it drove her to seek stimulation in impossible places, like the image of a woman she saw in the wallpaper! By the end of the story, that’s who she became. Wild, right?”

You shook your head, seemingly lost in astonishment. There was a slight crinkle in your nose when you smiled that wide, Bucky realized, like even the features on your face couldn’t hope to contain the joy bursting from your smile. Radiated like the fucking sun. Bucky was helpless in his stance, frozen, as he listened to you.  

“You know the author once said, ‘it’s not intended to drive people crazy, but to save people from being driven crazy,’” you continued, setting the book down with such a gentle touch, almost as if it were a living, breathing thing. You handled it with such care and Bucky began to wonder if you’d ever touch him like that – if he was worth such tenderness.  

The thought startled him and he quickly swallowed it back. Jaw clenched, right hand pressed to a fist in the pocket of his jacket. Stone cold expression. And yet – you were still talking about that book, all starry eyed and adorable, and a smile managed to crack through his lips. It was his new favorite book, he decided. Whatever could make you smile like that was his favorite. He’d sit there and read the fucking phone book if you asked him to.  

“She wrote it in retaliation of her own experience of a physician disregarding her depression. It's actually quite remarkable when you think about it. It's one of the earliest American Feminist works of it’s– ” You froze suddenly, hand clamping over your mouth. You winced at him, slowly pealing your palm away. “Oh God, I’m rambling. I tend to get a little excited about these things... You must be so bored right now.”

Bucky couldn’t help the smile as it rose in his cheeks. He liked seeing you so flustered, caught up in a passion he so rarely saw these days. He didn’t know the last time he cared about anything as much as you cared for books. He could have easily listened to you talk like that for hours without interruption.  

“No, no, not bored at all,” he reassured you and you visibly relaxed, relief sweeping through your shoulders. You started to fold up the chairs when Bucky cleared his throat, drawing your attention back. ��I, uh, I did like the story, though. Has a lot of relevance today. I see why you like it.”

If he thought you were going to burst before, he should have waited to see how you were looking at him now. Chewing on the inside of your cheek in hopes of suppressing it, though it clearly did little use.  You planted your hands on your hips.  

“Watch what you say, Barnes. I’ll talk your ear off.”

Bucky shrugged. “I’m already down an arm, what’s an ear, too?”

The second the words left his lips, it felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured over his head; drenching his clothes, goosebumps on his ice, sinking into his veins and freezing him to stone. He woken up from a pleasant dream by the harsh ringing of an alarm. He'd been pushed off a cliff, stomach churning in the freefall.  

You knew. Obviously, you knew.  

You weren’t blind and he was certain you could tell there was a startling absence where his left arm should be, even with the poorly camouflaged sleeve hanging off his side. It wasn’t fooling strangers on the street and it certainly didn’t fool you either, even if it gave him an ounce of peace, like maybe he could pretend he was whole again.

But you’d brought him that book clip for a reason.  

You knew.  

At yet, this was the first time he mentioned it aloud. Actually said the words. Drew attention to the fact that he was a broken mess of who he used to be and now he was waiting for you to flinch, for the familiar shades of pity and embarrassment to cloud over your starry eyes, but he waited and waited and – it never came.  

Instead, you started to laugh.  

It filled the room and washed away whatever panic was surging inside of him within a matter of seconds. The most beautiful sound he’d ever heard and he wished you didn’t shield your hand over your lips in an effort to contain it because – God – he could have spent his whole life sitting in that moment. Tears in your eyes, a smile on your face, looking at him like he was the man he was before the war, like he was something worth looking at.  

“You’re funny, James Barnes,” you said after you caught your breath again, a whisper of a laugh still lingering in your voice. You brushed the tears from your eyes.  

Bucky’s chest felt instantly lighter. His right hand was swinging down at his side and he brought it up to his hair to brush it from his face.  

“I could use a new book for next week,” he started, a little surprised at himself, and judging by the look in your eyes, it surprised you too. But you were smiling at him and it gave him the courage to continue. “Thought maybe you could help me find something?”

“Really?” you asked, practically glowing. “You’ll come back next week?”

He’d do anything if you kept looking at him like that.  

“Yeah,” was all he said, but you looked as though he told you he’d just told you he won the lottery. Maybe he had.  

“Well then, I’d be happy to! Just, um, hold on a second,” you scrambled around the room, looking for a pen and paper. You clicked a pen a few times before doodling in the corner to get the ink moving. When you were finished, you handed it to him. “These are my hours at the library. Come by anytime, okay? If I’m not up front, ask Mrs. Jefferson to page me. She’ll know who you are.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, staring down at the scribbled numbers. Did you talk about him at work? Butterflies swarmed in his stomach at the thought. He wondered what kinds of things you would say about him.  

“Walk me out?” you asked, grabbing your coat from the rack and gesturing to the door. Bucky looked up, not even realizing the room was already set back in its original formation, the empty box of donuts discarded.  

He nodded, following you to the door.  

“You know, I’m really happy you decided to come today,” you said as you passed into the hallway. Bucky kept an even pace at your side and tried not to let the butterflies in his stomach escape to where you could see.  

“Almost didn’t,” he admitted with a tired chuckle.  

“Figured by the staring contest you were having with the building before the coffee incident.”

Bucky winced, but you were smiling as he looked over at you and he felt the tension slip from his muscles instantly. “I am sorry about that...”

“Maybe you can just owe me a coffee,” you suggested casually, as if the prospect of spending time together, just the two of you didn’t make the butterflies crawl a little further up into his chest. “A real one. Not the shitty stuff we serve at the VA.”

Bucky swallowed, pushing the creatures back into his stomach. His throat was dry. “I can do that.”  

He pictured sitting across from you at a café, watching your hands curl around the outside of a mug, the steam of it brushing on your nose. Glistening in the reflection of the sunlight peaking through the windows, draped in the glow of the sunset. He’d buy you a thousand coffees.  

“Okay, well, I’ll see you soon then?”

Bucky looked around and realized suddenly that he was standing outside. The cold breeze had turned into a frigid autumn chill with the sun nearly set behind the skyline. Peaks of orange remained at the horizon, mimicking the colors in your sweater. When he looked down, he could still see the stain of coffee on the sidewalk.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, determined to push past whatever doubt etched into his way. It faded in an instant as he saw your lips curve up high into your cheeks. “I’ll see you soon.”

[doopy-n-loopy]

Yan!TF2 × reader headcannons (SFW and NSFW)

// obsessive tendancies, mentions of violence, blood, sexual themes, noncon

[SFW]

Let's start with the defense classes

Defense:

Demoman

Deffo didn't admit that he loved you

Tbh he probably blamed it on his drunkenness

But dude you're always drunk

I mean seriously if he sobers up he'll genuinely die so like-

He would usually drink with you or just around you if you don't drink

He's generally a fun chill guy to be with

He would watch you from a distance at times, especially during battle you might distract the cyclops

He's okay with you asking questions

One time he broke his eyepatch and needed a new one

You gave him a nice black eyepatch with the demoman emblem on it

He gets all red whenever you say his full name, because he knows you remembered it

He is generally against kidnapping, I mean especially since he lives with his ma he'd rather not

And because he's a gentleman

If you ever reciprocate his feelings he'll make sure to treat you right

He is a messy person but for you? He'll clean

Probably would get carried away and make home made bombs with all the cleaning supplies 🤦‍♂️

Takes you to meet his mom

"ooo Tavish, yer gonna get me some grand kiddos are ya?"

That made you both blush like crazy

Soft cheek kisses

Probably made a special bomb and named it after you

"this one's for you, luv!" *Proceeds to set off all stickybombs which blows up the entire enemy team*

Blew up the last guy who looked at you funny

Hell, even worse when they make a sexual remark to you scout probably did it

Likes to give you your space but when he's paranoid he follows you to wherever or watched you from a distance

Heavy

Two words: big boy

Hugs are 10000000000/10

Sometimes it fewls suffocating but man it's like hugging a cloud

Soft forehead kisses

Russian pet names

He sometimes lets you touch Sasha, that's how he knows he loves you because he doesn't even let medic, his best friend, touch her

Probably named a gun after you or one of the pet names he calls you

You definitely met his family and they loved you

Zana especially

Doesn't get jealous easily but will not hesitate to unload 12 pounds of bullets into someone who even LOOKS at you the wrong way

Lord have mercy on the ones who dare flirt with you, rest in pieces scout

Doesn't really follow you anywhere (you're a bit too fast for him) but he does watch you and check up on you

He preforms okay on the battlefield but when you're around, he'll show off

Will cook for you, mainly russian dishes

He's very against kidnapping and would rather not do it

Doesn't shut up about you when he's around medic

Engineer

F l u f f y

Very softspoken in general but he gets all flustered when you talk to him

Will check up on you occasionally

"Darlin'" "Honey bunny" things like that y'know

Huge smile when you're around

Will cook for you most definitely, knows what you like

Makes little robots for you

Likes seeing you use his dispenser

Doesn't get jealous easily either but will try and take you away from someone who wants your attention

Likes just having you in his presence, doesn't need to talk to be happy with you around

Very very against kidnapping like all other defense classes, wouldn't do it unless if he truly felt the need to, last resort kind of thing

The last guy who flirted with you had a sentry gun shoved up his ass

Doesn't really follow you anywhere

Offense:

Scout

Nothing short of a horomonal teenager

I mean he's 21 but

He gets so giddy around you, very loud, tries to show off

He loves you very much

"oh yeah? Well I once absolutely smashed a guy into peices, he was still screaming when he was dead!"

He brags about brutal things but hey you love it since you're also brutal

Flexes his non-existent muscles around you

Would talk about his mom to you all day

Definitely got a tattoo of your face and name somewhere on his body, most likely his bicep

Your name is probably misspelled too but you never say anything about it because he can't read so it's fine

He hasn't really thought about kidnapping in all honesty, again, a last resort kinda thing if he can't get you to love him

He will make a damn SCENE if anyone flirts with you

"you think that's funny, chucklenuts? I eat guys like you for breakfast lunch AND dinner!" "I'll blow yer freakin head off if ya talk to y/n like that again!" Would definitely drag you away

God help anyone that makes you uncomfortable, he'll fuck them up, if that person is medic I mean he'll try to but we all know how fucking scary medic is

Follows you at times

Pyro

"Mphmphmpph"

Seems more lovey around you

Definitely gave you a hand full of the enemy's bloody bones thinking it was a bouquet of flowers

Absolute baby

Just so precious, scary but precious

Hugs for days

Good luck trying to get their ass off of you when you're on cease-fire

Very warm though, they smell like smoke with a bit of blood

Likes petting you

Isn't against the idea of kidnap because they don't realize what they're actually doing, they think they're just taking you to a magical place

Snuggles

When someone flirts with you their whole world changes

Gets angry and starts yelling at them

"MPHMPHMOHMPHHH! MPHMPHNHUMAHUMA!" - Pyro 2021

Will not let you get a checkup alone, he trusts medic but not with you

Very sweet tho, he'll turn around when you need to strip down

Will follow you almost EVERYWHERE and if they can, while holding your hand

Soldier

Yells at you a little less than the others

At first doesn't realize how he feels but then realizes that he loves you

Is pretty protective over you

Rants about America all day to you

Probably got you an american flag to wear

Doesn't really take off his helmet but he likes seeing you in it, makes him proud

If you ever live with him you'll find out that he owns like 20 racoons

"YOU ARE CUTER THAN A RACOON" "YOU WILL BE SAFE ON THE BATTLEFIELD, DO YOU HEAR ME MAGGOT?"

He loudly wakes everyone up in the morning but tries to avoid waking you up

Loves you as much as he loves America

Will show off on the battlefield for you

Isn't against kidnapping you, he probably did it early on if you showed immediately that you didn't reciprocate his feelings

Will blow any guy that hits on you to absolute bits

"MAGGOT DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU WILL LEAVE THE LADY/MAN ALONE THIS INSTANT!"

Probably put you on his back and rocket jumped just to show you what it felt like

Follows you around a lot, it's really obvious because he wears a bucket over his head and crashes into things, when you look back he'll stand behind a lamp post or somewhere really obvious

Support

Ah yes, everyones favorite class including mine

Sniper

Very quiet

Takes secret glances at you

Pays more attention to you than the others

S h y

Asks how you are, how you slept, etc

Doesn't really need to be holding you, tbh he's against PDA

But he likes being in your presence

Just sit down next to him and he'll be fine

When he's on the battlefield, he'll look for you and make sure you're safe

God forbid anyone try to hurt you, he'll make them suffer

Talks about Australia to you and accidentally admitted that he wanted to take you there

Doesn't like the idea of kidnapping but he isn't totally against it, I can see him doing it

He smuggled you all the damn way to Australia

He'll nonchalantly show off to you on the battlefield, he'll let you get cornered and come in to save the day

"love" is a word he uses a lot with you

Will grumble to himself if he sees someone flirting with you

If it's a random person, well, that'll be the last time you ever see them

Has talked about you to his parents

Kind of follows you? I mean he sits atop a high placeand watches you through his scope whenever you're going somewhere

Spy

SEDUCTIVE ASF

He knows what he's doing

Will kiss your hand a lot

Likes to flirt with you and see you blush

"honhonhon"

Sleazy french fucker

Watched you from afar at first then approached you a little later

Isn't against the idea of kidnapping, pro kidnapping, definitely did it not only to have you to himself but for some sort of sexual satisfaction

Just very uh... Lewd? Can't find the right word

He treats you very respectfully though

If he hears anyone else flirting with you he'll be fuming but won't show it

"Oh please, like you could EVER satisfy y/n's desires"

That person mysteriously disappeared that night

Very cocky bastard

Definetly follows you home, not only that but he watches you through your window

And stalks you

He knows everything about you

Would get you either by knocking you unconscious or by blackmailing you

Medic

B a s t a r d

Gets LOUD when you're around

And giddy

Very touchy, always has a reason to put his hands on you

Talks a lot with you around, I mean he already talks a lot but now he won't shut up

Keeps his office nice and clean for you

He restocks on everything so when you come around you can take a loot at all his medicines

Big smile :D

Like spy he is not at all against kidnapping you

Makes sure you're comfortable during checkups

Will make you wait to be seen last just so he can take his time touching your body

"it's all part of the procedure".mp3

Compliments you in weird ways, ex: "your skin is so smooth and lovely, it's the perfect texture to make leather out of" "you have an amazing colon"

Look he's just trying his best here he has a screw loose

You're the only member who he's careful with really

Sometimes allows you to get hurt or has you get hurt by something just so you can see him

Always follows you wherever

Knows everything about you

If someone is flirting with you, he'll get quiet at first and use a low tone to speak to them

"you have guts talking to y/n like that"

They were never seen again

With kidnapping, he won't hesitate to use blackmail against you, or will just use anesthesia

Bonus: Pauling

Pauling

This lady values her work over her life, but to her you're so much more important

Will call you a lot on the battlefield to check in on you

Won't give you extremely hard missons to do because she doesn't want you to get hurt

"Hey (class), Pauling here. I need you... No not like that I just- I mean- for a mission yeah a mission"

Gets all flustered when you're around

Will take her only day off to spend time with you, what a sweetheart

Keeps multiple tabs on you

Follows you around

Doesn't really have time for kidnapping

But if it comes to that, she'll make something up so she has a reason to kidnap you

If anyone else is flirting with you she won't show that she's annoyed

She'll make something up as an excuse to execute them

[NSFW]

Defense

Demo

Has definitely thought of what you'd look like while naked

B l u s h

Has used a mental image of you to get off before

Probably has an actual photo of you

When he drinks a little more than usual, he'll accidentally brush his hand against your ass or get touchy with you

Will not force himself on you, he's 100% against that

If you decide to have sex with him, praise is what you're gonna get

"you're as beautiful as a shot of whiskey in the sunrise"

Very gentle with his hands

Heavy

Not the type to masturbate

Unless if he gets THAT worked up

Again, against forcing himself on you

But if you want it no doubt you will top

He's also gentle with you

And loving

Praise is all you're gonna get

Sometimes russian sometimes broken english

Either way he will worship your body

Engi

Again, a more modest guy, doesn't really touch himself

Might just use a robot to pleasure himself when thinking about you

Probably has a photo of you and him around his workshop

Never forces himself on you

He's sweet and gentle when you do want it though

Sometimes gets help from his robot friends

Offense

Scout

Gets off on thinking about you

Won't force himself on you though

Sexual remarks × 100

Calls you handsome/beautiful in bed

I wouldn't say he's the best in bed but hey he's good I guess

Cuddles after sex most likely

Probablh threw out all his sexual magazines because they just didn't do the trick anymore

Sometimes when he runs past you, your shirt/skirt gets lifted up by a gust of wind and he can't help but look ( ͡◉ ͜ ʖ ͡◉)

Since I hit the text limit, I'll be making a part 2, stay tuned

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 308: VIBE: CHECKED

Previously on BnHA: Lots and lots of Shindou idk what else to tell you.

Today on BnHA: Tired Nomad Deku rescues Shindou from Muscular, and us from Shindou. Muscular is all “OH BOY I SURE CAN’T WAIT TO FIGHT DEKU AGAIN AFTER HE TOTALLY KICKED MY ASS THE LAST TIME!! I’M SURE THIS TIME WILL GO DIFFERENTLY SEEING AS HE’S HAD ALMOST AN ENTIRE YEAR’S WORTH OF ADDITIONAL TRAINING, AND ALSO HAS SIX FOURQUIRKS NOW, IN ADDITION TO THE CONFIDENCE THAT COMES WITH HAVING EIGHT OTHER PEOPLE’S SOULS CHILLING OUT INSIDE HIM OFFERING MORAL SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT.” Deku is all, “[kicks Muscular’s ass effortlessly].” Muscular is all, “[gets his ass totally kicked].” I for one am very satisfied with this, and with respect to all, I would like to hereby declare this post a discourse-free zone. I’m just happy to see my son out here making good use of his FOURQUIRKS, and more importantly beating Muscular in less than seventeen pages so we can all go on with our lives lol.

damn Deku since when were you allowed to look this cool

from this perspective and with the smoke, cape, backpack, and mask more or less obscuring his actual profile, he looks less like a sixteen-year-old boy and more like a grownass man

OH SNAP

we got a glimpse of this in the cleaned-up scan of 307, but seeing both of his eyes looking so distinctively All Might-esque here is... whoa. I mean we know that his face still looks pretty normal underneath the mask and he doesn’t actually have the black sclera, but still, this is an awesome look. mini-Might

lol Muscular

you and me both. I mean no offense, but yeah

so Deku is just standing there silently

typical Deku. tight-lipped and expressionless. mum’s the word. quiet as a mouse. silent as a grave

okay no but seriously this is so weird and creepy though you guys. Deku please say something or else I’m just gonna mindlessly say whatever stupid things come into my head in an effort to make things less awkward

so Muscular is all “I should probably make a cool speech about revenge but Horikoshi couldn’t think of anything good so I’m just going to stand here clenching my fist real slowly”

“I’m not here to go on a monologue” he says, as he monologues about not monologuing

okay you guys I confess I have only read through/watched the Deku VS Muscular fight once because the arm-breaking is just way too uncomfortable for me to revisit. and so as a result, I have completely forgotten Whatever The Deal Is with Muscular’s eye lmao so let me go look it up real quick

okay so it’s a prosthetic, obviously, and he changes it out according to his mood. that part does sound familiar. I just can’t remember which eye is supposed to indicate which mood. don’t tell me I actually have to go back and reread this shit

lol I’m skimming through chapter 75 now and remembering/realizing that I hardly paid any attention to this the first time around because as soon as I found out the villains were after Kacchan my brain was like “TIME TO FOCUS ON THIS AND ONLY THIS NOW AND FOREVER” and yeah. ah memories

anyway so he started out with the flower-looking eye, and then later on he was all

which begs the question, how on earth could I have ever forgotten the most ridiculous panel I’ve ever read lmao

anyway, but so after all of that, I'm only just now realizing that this isn't one of his previous eye prosthetics in the current chapter; this is an ACTUAL FUCKING ROCK that he's just randomly shoved into his eye socket fkdsjlk

so basically (1) I did all of that painstaking research for nothing, five whole minutes of my life wasted THANKS A LOT, and (2) what, and I have never meant this more emphatically, THE FUCK

anyway so now he's leaping at the building that Deku is standing on top of. but he’s not aiming anywhere near Deku though, wtf

(ETA: HAHA YOU BROKE ALL YOUR MUSCLES YOU LOSER.)

...huh

lmao okay then. I hope those annoying citizens in the building next door are watching this go down and rethinking their life choices

dlkdkljk

just keep standing there pressed right up against the window, why don’t you. “WHAT’S GOING ON THIS SUPER CLOSE COLLAPSING BUILDING IS BLOCKING OUR VIEW.” well, folks, we’ve long since known there’s a critical shortage of hero and villain brain cells, but what we’re learning now is that civilian brain cells are also in short supply

OH THANK GOD DEKU IS FINALLY TALKING THAT WAS ACTUALLY UNSETTLING AS FUCK

SO HE’S STILL OUR GOOD, POLITE, WORRIED, CONSIDERATE DEKU UNDERNEATH THAT COOL AND MYSTERIOUS VENEER. for real, thank fuck, because I swear to god if he suddenly started acting like the Dekus in all of the vigilante AUs my interest in this series would have dropped something like 50% lol. just because he dropped out of school and ran away from home and is currently dressed like the physical manifestation of a Linkin Park playlist doesn’t mean he’s not still the WORLD’S BIGGEST DORK okay

I MEAN, THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. HE’S APOLOGIZING FOR THE DELAY

PLEASE FIND THE ATTACHED SHINDOU YOU REQUESTED. BEST REGARDS!!!

OH MY GOD WHY IS HE SUCH A BADASS

something about making bold, confident statements while obscured in smoke?? idk but damn it fucking works

ffjkkl

more importantly, should you tell him you actually need your copy of Shindou in excel format and not pdf?? on the one hand you don’t want to sound ungrateful, but on the other hand what are you even supposed to do with this

this chapter so far consists of like 50% smoke, but on the other hand Deku VS Kacchan 2 had a lot of cinematic smoke too so who am I to complain

OMG IS IT HIS ARMS

IDK DID YOU?! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS. PLEASE, AT SOME POINT THIS FIGHT HAS GOT TO ACTUALLY ADVANCE THE PLOT

OHHHHHHH

IT’S EN’S QUIRK!! OH MY GOD OKAY THAT’S ACTUALLY AWESOME

I CAN HEAR THE SOUND OF DISCOURSE RUMBLING IN THE BACKGROUND BUT I DON’T CARE LOL. WON’T CATCH ME EVER SAYING NO TO ANOTHER SIXQUIRK. GO AHEAD, BRING THEM ON, I WANT TO SEE THEM ALL but take it easy though Deku. don’t want to give yourself lung cancer or anything

also it’s good to see that in a very real sense he’s not fighting alone. the Vestiges really did mean it when they said they could appear more easily now. this is on a whole other level

so is this whole next page still En talking, or someone else? because whoever it is sure is chatty

okay, several things

pretty sure it is En, because he keeps saying “I suppose.” for someone who never said two words until one page ago, this guy sure never shuts up. we can’t all follow Muscular’s lead I suppose. oh my god now I’m doing it too

really like the suggestion of Deku using the SIXQUIRKS like tools in an arsenal, because that’s what he’s good at! it’s almost like he’s been training for this his entire life. “you value quirks too much” LOOK HE JUST THINKS THEY’RE COOL OKAY IS THAT A CRIME

where the fuck did all this rope come from

not gonna ask what the fuck that thing is sticking out from the back of his utility belt. Horikoshi will surely explain this

is that a fucking jetpack. I’m sorry Deku were six fucking quirks not enough for you. you can fucking float??? but JUST TO BE SAFE, LET’S STRAP A PAIR OF ROCKETS TO OUR SHOULDERS IDK

-- or wait, is this all supposed to be like a visual representation of En’s metaphor?? OH MY GOD AM I JUST STUPID LOL, DON’T ANSWER THAT. NEVER MIND. NEW LIST!!

rope = blackwhip

jetpack = float

radio = danger sense

and so I’m guessing that this ridiculously phallic thing is supposed to be a flare or something?? and that = the new quirk, smokescreen. well that was a fucking ride lmao we now return you to our regularly scheduled chapter

so now Deku is floating to his heart’s content and thinking that he’ll just sneak up on Muscular and vibe check his ass or whatever

WOOOOOOOO DANGER SENSE YESSSS I LOVE THIS FOR HIM

okay guys, I'm gonna press pause here for a sec to make a serious note, because I am loving the shit out of this, but tbh I'm having trouble enjoying it as much as I want to because I keep getting anxious thinking about the discourse. I know that a lot of the fandom has very strong opinions on Deku's character development one way or the other, and I want to respect that. but I also really have no spoons to debate this topic at all beyond what I’ve already weighed in on. so if it’s all the same to everyone, I plan on staying out of this discussion, at least this week

anyway! that said, YEAH BOI GET HIS ASS

VIBE: CHECKED. CURB: STOMPED. HOTEL: TRIVAGO

-- OF COURSE HE’S STILL FUCKING FINE LOL HE CRASHES INTO BUILDINGS FOR FUN IDK WHAT I WAS EXPECTING

dammit Muscular. how many fucking quirks does it take to beat you?! the annoying thing is that even with all of his cool new powers, Deku is still something of a mismatch against him. anyway r.i.p. to all these poor buildings

OOOOOHHHHH

you guys have no idea how intrigued I am at the prospect of watching Deku try to play both good cop and bad cop here lmao

anyway so Muscular says he doesn’t know, go figure

“I’m not here to make small talk or anything” he says as he small talks about not small talking

OH MY GOD DEKU

are you really gonna talk no jutsu all of these villains from now on?? that last battle really did have a profound impact on you, huh! interesting

you guys he’s really doing it omg

Deku this guy tried to murder a five-year-old literally just for fun. I mean more power to you, but holy shit you’re really gonna try to defeat Muscular with anger management therapy huh

I MEAN

WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT RESPONSE COMING dlkjslkjk

FUCK’S SAKE DEKU, I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL BUT THEY CAN’T ALL HAVE TRAGIC PASTS KIDDO

but. I have to admit, I do still like that he tried. probably knew just as well as we did what the end result was going to be, but still. he made the effort in good faith and I respect that

uh oh

why do I get the feeling Muscular just got a whole lot deader

oh my god oh my god he’s doing the “powering up” stance ffff don’t fucking tell me you can still use your fucking arms here, Deku

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY WHAT’S THIS??

okay so basically he’s saying that whatever it was he sensed in Tomura, he doesn’t sense from Muscular. which, yeah, that sounds exactly right. good judge of character here lol

AHHHHAHAHA YESS

WHOOPS, GET FUCKED I GUESS

WOOOOHOOOOOOOO

lmao so apparently this is the belated result of Shindou’s attack from chapter 307?? I’ll be damned. good for you Shindou!! I always liked you buddy. please just take my word on that and don’t fact check that statement

okay lol the one tiny bit of discourse I will allow is that it’s bullshit that he just did that with his right arm. like, I’ll fully acknowledge that. that makes no fucking sense, and I demand an explanation from the Great Plot Hole Filler himself. he’s never let us down before when it comes to continuity so I’m trusting him not to suddenly start now

that said, we love to see a rematch against a boring guy settled quickly and decisively within the span of a single chapter. THANK YOU

I like that Deku implies that his power is being a smart nerd who battles villains using the power of ANALYTICS. he basically didn’t do anything except restrain Muscular and wait for Shindou’s attack to take effect while halfheartedly checking to see if he regretted any of that murder and stuff

(ETA: and almost forgot to mention, he made excellent use of all four of his active SIXQUIRKS. it’s like the chapter title said; this is basically him fighting all-out, and it’s a sight to see.)

also, as cool as the mask was, this just feels right. like, we had our fun, now let us see his face, yes good

anyway, I think this was a good start towards establishing What’s Up With Deku Right Now! so if it’s all the same to Horikoshi, I would next like to take some time to explore Why’s Up With Deku. that, and What’s Up With Everyone Else, Especially Kacchan. por favor

[goodnightmemes]

DEXTER SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTERS (PART TWO)

Lines taken from 2x07-2x12 of the show Dexter. Feel free to change pronouns or edit in any way to better fit your needs. Here is part one.

❛ I thrive on chaos. But this is good, too. ❜

❛ I had to do a little creative problem-solving at someone else's expense. ❜

❛ Pardon my tits. ❜

❛ Are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire? ❜

❛ Sometimes the truth speaks from a peaceful place. It's taken me a long time to find that place, but I think I have, and it's telling me you're not the right one for me. I'm so sorry. ❜

❛ Is that what I am? Clean? 'cause I don't feel that way at all. ❜

❛ No, I won't do that. I won't let you turn me into you. ❜

❛ Hope you don't expect me to comment on that so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday. ❜

❛ Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa. ❜

❛ No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I'll always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason. I own you. ❜

❛ When I'm alone and it's quiet, I get scared shitless, like I start hearing what's really going on inside. ❜

❛ 'Cause when you're around, I kind of feel like I can deal with anything, you know? ❜

❛ I've always worked best in the shadows, and that's where I have to stay. ❜

❛ You can't go back. You know that. ❜

❛ You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing little Miss "pardon my tits." ❜

❛ She is obviously a vampire. A gross english-titty vampire. ❜

❛ Can't change who I am. I'm crass and dirty, and...I have a very filthy mind. ❜

❛ Jesus Christ. They sell anyone a gun in Florida, won't they? ❜

❛ That man. He wasn't trying to rob you. He was trying to kill you. ❜

❛ Nothing you could do,___, would scare me. ❜

❛ Whatever comes, we'll get through this together. I'm not leaving your side. ❜

❛ I need to embrace who I am, who I've always been. ❜

❛ It's like I've been living underwater, holding my breath, and now I can finally breathe. ❜

❛ ___ almost had me believing it was possible to change, to become something else, as if that ever really happens. I've always known what I am. ❜

❛ I'm finding it's best to accept things you can't change, you know? ❜

❛ Is this the monster that you keep telling me about? ❜

❛ Trust me, when you meet the monster, you'll know. ❜

❛ Nice. My subconscious isn't even bothering with symbolism. ❜

❛ I feel...such regret, which is rare for me. But not that I don't mess up. I do...just never so stupendously. ❜

❛ If they're looking for proof, they won't find it. Not here at least. ❜

❛ Then maybe you should come with us, because who knows what secrets will come ❜ pouring out of me once the drinks start flowing. ❜

❛ I'm done with it and you. Did I not make that clear last night? ❜

❛ Those friends of yours, they didn't even know you. They just see the mask, but I see it all. ❜

❛ Can't live with her. Can't kill her. ❜

❛ Fuck! I'm talking about my feelings. What the fuck is your problem? ❜

❛ I've always sensed there was something... off about him. Like he's hiding in plain sight. ❜

❛ If you got in the middle of this and you got hurt… ❜

❛ The only way I can help you is if you turn yourself in. ❜

❛ Don't you disappear on me. ❜

❛ I want you to know that you meant a lot to me, more than you know, and... I just want to thank you for that. ❜

❛ If I never see her again, it'll be too soon. ❜

❛ Sleep would be nice, but there's too much to do. ❜

❛ Okay, I may be sleeping with him, but it doesn't mean he tells me shit or listens to me about anything, so stop asking! ❜

❛ That's right, motherfucker! It's over. ❜

❛ I knew there was something with you. But this shit? ❜

❛ What can I say? You were right about me. I never held it against you. I don't now. ❜

❛ It's a graze wound. Minor tissue abrasion. No hemorrhage along the bullet track. Sorry. I think I'm gonna live. ❜

❛ If you're not gonna let me go, then kill me now. Just get it over with. ❜

❛ You're a killer. I catch killers. ❜

❛ So it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it? ❜

❛ Either kill me or set me free. ❜

❛ Taking a life is one thing, but the care and feeding of it is another. ❜

❛ I'm generally confused most of the time. ❜

❛ You ever care about anyone? Then you shouldn't have to ask. 'Cause when you care about someone, you do what you have to do. ❜

❛ I remember when life was easy, when the only question I worried about was "who's next?" Now it's: "How can I dodge my protective detail? "What should I do with my hostage?" These are not easy questions. ❜

❛ It's not about what I think. It's all about the evidence. ❜

❛ Hair-pulling may not be manly, but it's very effective. ❜

❛ If he wanted me dead, I'd be dead by now. ❜

❛ You are the only one I can count on, jackass. ❜

❛ It puts a pit in my stomach that I can only interpret as... sadness. ❜

❛ You working on an exit strategy? I'm afraid that's not gonna happen. ❜

❛ How come there's never a circus when you need one? ❜

❛ What was that shit last night? Some kind of fucking scare tactic? ❜

❛ Don't test me. I could have killed you. I didn't. ❜

❛ You're actually angry. I've never seen you angry. This is good. ❜

❛ I should warn you. You can't play on my feelings. I don't have any. ❜

❛ It's a tough job. It can wear on even the best of us. ❜

❛ I yell a lot...and bitch and complain, and I keep expecting people to guess what I want, but I never really say it. ❜

❛ And that was exciting, you know? The not knowing. What might happen, what could be. It was all possibility. ❜

❛ Your life is going to rest in the hands of the criminal justice system you put all your faith in. I wish you the best of luck. ❜

❛ You need help. Let me help you. ❜

❛ You don't have to do this! You don't have to kill this man! ❜

❛ Sorry it had to go down like this. But there really was no other way. ❜

❛ Stay away. Just stay away from me. ❜

❛ Did you happen to be stuffing a human leg into a garbage bag at that point? ❜

❛ There's that anger again. You got to let that out. ❜

❛ You're spinning. Let me help you. It's only a matter of time before you'll hurt someone else. ❜

❛ Take responsibility for who you are. ❜

❛ Why can't you just let me go? ❜

❛ If I got to choose a person... A real person... to be like, out of anyone, it'd be you. ❜

❛ Who joined who in the shower this morning? ❜

❛ For such a neat monster, I'm making an awfully big mess. ❜

❛ Maybe this is how evil works. Destroying everything it touches. ❜

❛ I've been held prisoner in a cabin for two fucking days. Fucking hellhole. ❜

❛ After everything we've been through lately, I just want... to be together with you guys. ❜

❛ You told me to take responsibility for what I am. You were right. ❜

❛ I can't live in this house of cards anymore, waiting for it all to fall down. I need to do something, you know? ❜

❛ If I do this, I need a day to get my affairs in order. ❜

❛ Mention that when they interview you for the story of my life. ❜

❛ Don't leave me in this cage, anything could happen. ❜

❛ I lie to everyone I know... except my victims right before I kill them. It's hard to establish much of a rapport there. ❜

❛ Sorry about the cage. ❜

❛ I've always been curious to try. Do you have any weed? ❜

❛ Love's a battlefield. Or in your case, a restraining order. ❜

❛ When a pretty girl smiles and bats her eyelashes, we're powerless to resist. ❜

❛ I met with a lawyer yesterday. He helped me prepare a living trust that gives you control of all my assets in the event of my death or... certain other situations. ❜

❛ God. Go away. This is creepy. ❜

❛ I'm free tonight, you wanna stop by? We'll have beer, a couple of steaks? I wanna talk to you about something. ❜

❛ I just need you to know that... you and the kids are very important to me. No matter what happens, I want you to always know that. ❜

❛ I know I've been taking things slow with us, but it's not because I don't have feelings for you. It's more like I have too many feelings, and I just wanna make sure to get it right. ❜

❛ I want you gone. Tonight. ❜

❛ I've spent a lifetime keeping up my guard, watching my back, wearing my mask. Relief was never in sight until now. ❜

❛ Lately, I was starting to feel like I had my head pretty far up my ass. ❜

❛ You decide who you are, who you want to be...and you hold onto that and ride it out. ❜

❛ I need some help! Just open the door! I'm being held captive. ❜

❛ Damn, it's good to see another face. I never thought I would. ❜

❛ When something beyond reason happens, it turns skeptics into believers. ❜

❛ If you believe that God makes miracles, you have to wonder if Satan has a few up his sleeve. ❜

❛ I can't exactly feel their pain, but I can appreciate it. ❜

❛ I kinda forgot who I was. I got it straight now. ❜

❛ The term is homicidal maniac. Not that I'm judging. ❜

❛ A public place. You thought I was gonna...That I would slip my needle into your neck? ❜

❛ You're afraid of me now, aren't you? ❜

❛ You're emotionally color-blind. You use the right words, you pantomime the right behavior, but feelings never come to pass. ❜

❛ You know the dictionary definition of emotions: longing, joy, sorrow...You have no idea of what any of those things actually feel like. ❜

❛ I created a monster of my own. ❜

❛ What did you do to make her so pathetically crazy for you? Does your dick dance? ❜

❛ What're we doing home in the middle of the day? She asked, hoping for sex. ❜

❛ Why? Why do I have to make up my mind? ❜

❛ I've never put much weight onto the idea of a higher power. But if I didn't know better, I'd have to believe that some force out there wants me to keep doing what I'm doing. ❜

❛ As it turns out, nobody mourns the wicked. ❜

❛ Am I evil? Am I good? I'm done asking those questions. I don't have the answers. ❜

[negasonicimagines]

Tell Me I'm Not Funny

Request: darkandmysteriousbutheartofgold!ellie and wholesomeanddoesn'tunderstandwhyelliedoesn'tlikeher!reader where they're both part of the friend group but ellie just thinks reader is straight and messing with her pls

Notes: I don’t usually write MCU!Peter, so if he comes up in any future fics (like as the reader’s stepdad 👀 I’ve loved spideypool longer than I’ve loved Negasonic) you can safely assume it’s Andrew Garfield. But, for this time, this is MCU!Peter. Everyone in the friend group is 18-20, just to be clear.

This really isn't my best work, but it's a fun little slice of life piece. A lot of my ideas are pretty cinematic, I can picture them in my head but sometimes those pictures don't really translate into words. I may revisit this one day.

Warnings: D-slur (reclaimed by Ellie in one line), allusions to prior assault (an unwanted kiss that could've been more had another character not stepped in), and that's about it. Oh, and a little swearing, but this is an imagine for a character from Deadpool. If you can't handle swearing, you're on the wrong blog.

Synopsis: You’re into Ellie, but she’s with your good friend Peter. She treats you like you don’t even exist, and in the few instances she does acknowledge you, it’s usually just to make some sarcastic remark. You’re head-over-heels, though, and decide to deal with your unrequited love by writing her a song she’ll never hear.

“Fuck, that movie was terrible,” Michelle groans. “I’m just glad it was a matinee show and we didn’t have to pay as much to see it.”

“The special effects were good, but can’t Disney just leave stuff alone?” Peter agrees.

“Next thing you know they’ll be making a live action Toy Story, as if the original wasn’t traumatizing enough. I don’t want to imagine Watermelon as a sentient being. She’s seen some shit,” you snicker.

“Who’s Watermelon?” Ellie asks with a dark chuckle, and you clam up. How had you forgotten she was here?

“Oh, uh, nobody.”

“Don’t tell me you still sleep with a stuffed animal,” she snarks. “You really do need to grow up.”

“Don’t be mean, Ellie,” Peter protests.

“Watermelon is cute, everybody likes cute things!” Yukio adds.

“I think a live-action Toy Story could be cool,” Ned says. “It’d look really good if they did stop-motion animation.”

“Oh, you’re right!” you chirp. “It’d be quite the undertaking, but it would look badass.”

“I think you’re using that term a little loosely,” Ellie grumbles, and you have to stop yourself from frowning, instead you laugh it off. Why does she always pick on you? Sure, she’s got a witty remark for everybody, but she’s way harder on you. It hurts, she really is so gorgeous and funny and mysterious and everything you want in a woman, but she acts like she can’t stand you.

Ellie and Peter head off together, Peter still hasn’t gotten around to getting his license and Ellie seems happy to give him a ride. You really don’t stand a chance.

You and the others pile up in MJ’s SUV for some late-night band practice.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” you admit to Yukio in the furthest row back.

“You can,” she insists. “You’re a way better singer than Lola, anyways.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to give her the wrong impression, I-”

“For the millionth time, Y/N, you didn’t. If she hadn’t left the band, we would’ve kicked her out. Not just for cheating on me, but for hurting you.”

“I guess,” you sigh. “Why can’t you sing instead?”

“Because I’m flat.”

“Yukio, breast size doesn’t have anything to do with singing ability, you’ve just gotta practice,” you joke.

“Shut up!” she giggles, punching you in the arm. “Plus, when you sing, the songs are being sung as they were written. We’re getting the real feelings.”

“Speaking of… I have something new I’m thinking about sharing tonight. Do you mind if I text you the demo?”

“Ooh, a first look! Hell yes!”

You text her the audio file and she puts in a wireless earbud, nodding along. Her smile gets wider and wider as she listens, and when she’s done, her assessment shocks you.

“Oh my gosh. You’re into Ellie.”

“What?!” you squeak. “No way!”

“You are! But, uh-”

“Don’t even say it. I know I don’t have a chance in hell. She only tolerates me for the sake of you and Peter.” Despite the gloominess of your tone, Yukio gets a mischievous glint in her eye, it confuses you. But, that’s just Yukio. Her thoughts are all over the place; she and Ellie balance each other out that way. They dated a couple of years ago, but it didn’t work out. They decided they were better off as friends.

“Screw that other song, we’re using this as the lead single. Everybody’s gonna love it, do you have the sheet music?”

“Yeah, uh, it’s in my bag.”

“Awesome.” Yukio’s grinning like she’s won something. Is the song that good? “We’ll have to practice this one a lot, we definitely need to have it ready by the concert this Friday.”

Right. Liz’s 19th birthday party. Apparently Peter had convinced her to let the band play, it’d be cheaper than hiring a more established artist.

“Our first paying gig? I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you remind her. She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“We’re mostly gonna be playing covers of Liz’s favorite songs, and she only has so many. We’ve gotta beef up the setlist with originals, and this is perfect! Has that pop-y fun vibe, it’ll fit right in.”

“Yeah, but if it’s that obvious how I feel about her after one listen-”

“Only because I already had a hunch after Daft Pretty Boys,” Yukio clarifies cheerily, and you sigh.

“Fair enough.”

The gang makes it to Michelle’s house, travelling down to the side door and going into the basement from there. MJ’s parents have encouraged her creativity from day one, and were ecstatic when the band was formed. You speculate that they’re mostly happy that she’s made friends. Writing and photography can be lonely hobbies.

“Y/N has something new for us!” Yukio chirps.

“That fast?” Ned’s surprised as you hand him the sheet music. He skims it. “Holy shit, this is a wicked solo! Thanks, Y/N!”

“Well, I’m hoping highlighting everybody else’s talent will disguise my lack thereof,” you chuckle.

“Don’t be stupid, we’ve all heard you sing backup,” MJ says. “You’re Ryan Ross, she’s Brendon Urie. I’m just glad we booted her out before she decided she was gonna be the only pangolin in The Pangolins.”

Everyone laughs at that.

“Let’s try it,” Michelle continues, and everybody agrees. After a sound check and a few runs of the song, it’s still clumsy, especially on your part. You’re not really used to playing and singing at the same time, outside of backup vocals, which require far less focus.

“I suck,” you mumble, but it happens to be into the microphone.

“You don’t!” Ned insists.

“With that attitude, we’re not going anywhere,” Yukio says. You hate it when she gets to the tough love stage of her support. You wish she’d stay in the shallow reassurances stage, it’s easier to brush off. “You wouldn’t be the lead singer if we all thought you sucked. We would’ve just put an ad in the paper. You’re awesome, get over it!”

You sigh.

“Fine. Thank you.”

“Say it,” she insists.

“I’m awesome,” you huff, it’s hard not to smile when Yukio tries to look serious.

“Damn straight,” Yukio says. “Or, I guess not, considering that was about Ellie.”

“Yukio!” you squeal.

“That’s about Ellie?!” Ned exclaims.

“Obviously,” MJ scoffs, fiddling with her tuners.

“Is it that obvious?!” You can’t help but feel embarrassed. Ellie probably knows exactly how you feel, maybe that’s why she dislikes you so much. Her boyfriend’s stupid friend has a crush.

“Wait, but at the beginning…” Ned trails off, before laughing. “Oh my gosh, I get it.”

“Get what? Oh… Y/N, have I ever told you how much I love you?” MJ asks.

“I- I love you, too?” You’re puzzled by their words, but you’ve got enough on your plate.

“Let’s go ahead and practice some of Liz’s favorites while we’re here,” Yukio suggests. “It’s a pretty big set list.”

You practice until dinner, getting a pizza and deciding to make a night of it since it was a little late for Michelle to be dropping you all off at your assorted residences.

You all sleep on a pallet in the basement, and despite your worries, you manage to get some rest.

Over the next few days, The Pangolins practice at every free moment, until it’s finally time for the party.

“So, just pictures of everything?” Oh, shit. She’s not supposed to be here. How are you supposed to sing that song with her here?

“Yeah! I know with how many people are coming, I’m probably not going to get as much time as I want with everyone, so pictures will be a good way to remember the night.”

“Why not just invite less people?” Ellie wonders.

“I want all my friends to be here,” Liz explains. “How’s the sound check going, Y/N?”

“It’s going great,” you say into the microphone, demonstrating the quality and volume with a smile. “Thanks for letting us play here tonight.”

“Well, Peter said you guys are great. Are you really gonna debut your best song so far tonight?”

“Oh, um,” you stutter, stepping away from the microphone. “Maybe not.”

“What? Oh, come on, please, it’ll make the night even more special! You’re playing covers of all my old favorites, sing me my new favorite!” Liz presses, but she’s not being demanding or bratty, she seems genuinely excited.

“If the birthday girl says so, who am I to say no?” you concede. Hopefully Ellie will be too distracted taking pictures. “You have way too much faith in me.”

“If you don’t quit with the self-deprecation, I’m gonna duct tape your mouth shut,” MJ interjects.

“But, Daddy, how will I say my safe word?” you tease, giggling at your own joke with the rest of the group. Yukio’s laugh seems the loudest. Ellie glares.

“We should practice a song!” Ned suggests.

“Ooh, a private show!” Liz seems excited.

“Any requests?” you ask her. Ellie’s resting scowl intensifies. If she’s more pissed off the more you open your mouth, you’re not sure how she’s gonna survive a night of you singing without going nuclear.

“Oh, oh, Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, please?”

“You’ve got it,” you agree.

The song goes smoothly.

“What happened to the old singer?” Ellie asks, clearly unimpressed.

“You didn’t tell her?” you ask Yukio, grateful for the excuse to turn away from the sharp-tongued girl you adore.

“Didn’t want her to get the wrong impression,” Yukio explains. “She already makes enough rude comments towards you.” Yukio leans over her drum kit to give Ellie a pointed look.

“Oh, wait, shit, I didn’t mean it like that. You, uh, sound good, Y/N.”

You can’t help but whip your head back to look at her with a flabbergasted expression.

“What?! It’s true,” Ellie defends herself.

“Uh, yeah, but you just said something nice. About me. Liz, do you mind checking her for a fever?”

Liz obliges for the sake of going along with the joke before quickly withdrawing her hand.

“Jeez! I know you were kidding, but she’s burning up,” Liz declares.

“My internal temperature is higher due to my mutation,” Ellie quickly explains, looking a bit bashful. “Besides, I say nice shit about Y/N all the time.”

“No, you don’t,” the whole band says in unison, including you.

“Well, clearly I shouldn’t if everyone’s gonna make a big fucking deal about it,” she retorts, rolling her eyes. “I’m gonna go get some pictures of the decorations before there’s a bunch of fucking people here to block them.”

She stomps off in her heavy boots, and The Pangolins get back to work, putting on the final touches and making sure all the blocking looks right.

Soon enough, guests start flooding in, and Liz zips around to greet them, eventually meeting up with Peter and keeping him with her. He and Liz eventually pull Ellie away from her picture-taking, confident she’s done enough and needs to just relax and enjoy the party.

So much for distracting herself with work, she thinks.

They sit on the couch and eat, the dining room was monopolized by The Pangolins due to its elevation and space.

Ellie’s mesmerized by the way your fingers move until she hears Peter talking to Liz. They really are a cute couple.

“You really do need to hang out with us. Yukio told me Y/N thinks Ellie and I are a thing,” he says.

“Gross, you’re like my annoying little brother,” Ellie remarks.

“And you’re like my bitchy older sister,” Peter retorts with a shit-eating grin.

“Both of you, quiet! They’re about to play the new song. You’re in for a real treat, Ellie.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

Liz gives Peter a confused and slightly irritated look.

“I haven’t said anything to her, I didn’t know how,” Peter squeaks, blushing a little at the look in his girlfriend’s eyes.

“Explain, quickly,” Ellie demands.

But, then you start to sing again.

“Y/N-” Peter starts.

“Shut up.”

“But you asked-”

“I said, shut up,” Ellie insists.

“You know me as your boyfriend's goofy friend. I seem to have this effect on women, and your friends aren't as goofy as I am. I try my best to keep you entertained, always laughing at the jokes you are saying. I nod my head when you make a point, oh oh…

“Kiss me, kiss me with your eyes closed! Whisper that your heart shows all I want is you, yeah, you… Hold me, hold me I'm your bunny! Tell me I'm not funny, tell me I’m legit! ‘Cause I feel weak, in your hands and your feet… A precious end, I’ll never feel your touch…”

Ellie continues to listen to the song, all expression drained from her face. All the yearning in the words and your voice, all you want is…

Ellie looks at Peter, who’s looking at her with a triumphant smile.

“I told you.”

Ellie feels like she’s about to faint. She notices you’re talking to Liz— when did she leave? —your hand over your mic. Despite the knowledge that Liz is taken, Ellie gets jealous. You look so happy to be talking to Liz, to just about any girl you talk to.

She wishes you’d smile at her that way.

You nod at whatever Liz said, and the band starts packing away their instruments. Liz sets up her phone on some Bluetooth speakers, and songs that sounded so much better when you were singing them start to play.

No! Ellie internally protests. Sing for me again, please, sing that stupid song about how you think I don’t like you.

Yukio’s dragging you somewhere. Gosh, Ellie wishes it was her holding your hand.

Suddenly, though, you and Yukio are approaching her. She knows what she has to do.

“So, what’d you think of our- Eek! Finally!”

Ellie parts from the kiss to tell her to fuck off and not ruin the moment before kissing you again.

“Holy fucking shit,” you breathe. “Uh, I thought you were-“

“Dating Peter?! Seriously?! Do I need to write ‘dyke’ on my fucking forehead? I practically already have with the way I dress and act and-”

“I, uh, I try not to make assumptions,” you mumble, fingers touching your lips.

“I’m, uh, sorry for not asking.”

“No, it’s- It was good. I’ve wanted you to do that for a while. It’s just that that was the first time somebody’s kissed me, since, uh…” Your eyes dart to Yukio, who’s ruffling Ned’s hair and laughing.

“Yukio?!” Orange flickers in Ellie’s eyes for a moment, but she keeps it under control.

“No, no, of course not, uh… The old singer, Lola. She and Yukio were dating, but apparently I was the one she really had her sights on, and… She was entitled. Thought that because she wanted me, I must want her. That wasn’t really the case, I was already pining over you. Didn’t stop her from forcing a few kisses on me and trying to go further. If Yukio hadn't shown up early with cupcakes, I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

“I am such an asshole,” Ellie says softly. “Can I kiss you again? The right way.”

“I’d say what you did before was pretty right, but sure,” you consent.

Her kiss before had been rough, needy, and impatient. Just the way you like it. This, though, this is gentle, soft, and exploratory. You tangle your hands in her hair and kiss her harder. She moans into the kiss before pulling away, bewildered.

“That was…” Ellie trails off, trying to find a positive adjective that won’t sound to frilly or lovesick.

“A mistake, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, fuck, no. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” she corrects you. “Just- Didn’t really know how. Even when you were kinda flirting with me at first, I just thought you were messing with me, so I- I am so stupid.”

“So am I,” you scoff. “I thought you were dating Peter.”

“I was spending a lot of time with him, but… I was just using him as an excuse to avoid you so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. And I was asking him for advice. I figured if he could land somebody as far out of his league as Liz, maybe I stood the slightest bit of a chance with you. But I kept fucking it up. I’d just get so nervous, all of my compliments would turn into insults, all of my teasing turned into straight-up cruelty. I don’t know how you actually like me.”

“I’m a little bit of a masochist, I’ll admit,” you tell her. “I’m really glad you don’t hate me.”

“I’m really glad you don’t hate me,” Ellie replies, but she can’t help but think that what she‘s really saying is ‘I love you, too.’

She takes your hand, and you two rejoin your friends, swept up in a group hug. They wanted this to happen almost as much as you two did.

[zuluc]

it’s 4 am and i have class later 😔

he doesn’t work at the library but likes to sit there and bask in the peace from time to time. the rowdiness of the group he found himself accepted into was a nice change from his previous social life but even he needed a break. but you don’t know this. he’s just a mysterious fellow who peaks your interest.

sometimes you can catch him sitting near certain aisles nearby looking at books that were either, on purpose or not, on the top shelf or in a tall pile next to him. he jumps to get a few of them until the librarian came by to offer him a small ladder because, despite him being pretty quiet on his feet, she couldn’t ignore the rustle of clothes or view him moving about.

sometimes this woman comes in to ask him about something, her tall stature making him look smaller than he actually is but her presence is more inviting than intimidating with the proud look on her face. he smiles sometimes when they talk but she leaves him to his devices in the quiet sanctum.

one day he sits at the very edge of your table. you look around to see other empty ones to which he could have more space but he doesn’t seem to have made a mistake of choosing this spot. he makes quick work of laying out his books for the day, poetry and history this time though you don’t know exactly from who or when, and looks up to meet your gaze. you feel embarrassed to have been caught staring at him but he only gives you a kind smile in return.

the days go on like that.

—

but you don’t know him. not yet at least.

he doesn’t know you, but he’s seen you before. in between classes amidst the passionate faces of your friends as they engage in a seemingly heated debate about miniscule things, your own is clear cut. more mellow than those about but equally interested all the same. but you come to this place on your own most times to study or simply relax.

sometimes he finds you in some aisles going through extra textbooks or practice books for your subjects with a permanent look of annoyance on your features. your eyes scan for minutes on end for that one cover because who wants to pay for things only to be used once that you’ll forget about after exams? you certainly don’t. but then again, it would be too good to be true to find it in the library.

sometimes a friend comes in excitedly to talk to you. you indulge his, he knew the name of this certain twin-braid student, poorly whispered words before he’s dragged out by the quiet one you are also friendly with and they disappear to leave you at peace. he sees the fond look you gives after them and a shake of your head at his antics before continuing your quiet time.

one day he finds you sitting alone and a sudden urge to take the corner seat of your table calls to him. call it a sign or whatever his books tell him and he takes the opportunity. he can’t necessarily look at you right away so he hides his eagerness and sets out his books. when he gives and looks up he’s seeing your surprised face all he can do is smile.

—

you think he’s charming as he studies. he doesn’t wear any sort of glasses or anything but he does keep a pencil either rested on top of his ear or in his hand tapping against his lip as he concentrates.

but you try to stop yourself from staring. it’s rude and downright creepy and you don’t want to be dubbed as that type of person to a cute guy.

cute? yes, he was cute.

—

he thought the same about you. cute. that’s why he takes the leap and flicks a paper over to your side of the table, folded up as neatly as he could with words written inside.

Now a peaceful time

Quiet and stagnant are we

Finally to rest

you raise an eyebrow in response and mouth back, “a haiku?” he nods at your quick discerning and asks: “how is it?” with your given location and how neither of you are even going above a light whisper, you mirror his nod.

“fitting.”

and your interactions stay just like that for a while. you show up at the library at the same time and take a seat at the same table. sometimes he passes little papers to you with more haikus, usually capturing the feeling you both are kept in while in quiet. sometimes they’re for jokes to untense your shoulders after hours of reading.

this is how you get to know him but you want to return the favor. so you make some of your own and the look of surprise on his face when he receives a flicked paper is priceless. he’s happy about it, too.

now, you could say that you talk outside of the library and get to know each other there. but the mystery and comfort in doing as you do now is what you both stick with. and there isn’t a problem about it.

days turn into weeks and weeks into months until the bright sun and heat from the outside morphs into falling snow and chilly wind. you know each other enough to be just past acquaintances but not enough to be really called, friends? you weren’t sure.

but he still flicks a paper towards you and instinctively you open it.

This moment is safe

Peering eyes do so wander

There maybe a chance

it may be that you’re so used to his writing but the message in this one feels a little different than the others.

—

he can see your confusion and he stiffens. was it too obvious? this was supposed to be the build-up upon the countless messages he’s shown you and now he’s doubting himself.

getting to know you this way was fun and frankly very relaxing. quiet, limited talking, and basking in each other’s presence really solidified what he was feeling. truly. but he’s about to say “jk” until you smile. it’s a nice view.

so he basks in it.

—

was it something you did? or said? sorry, wrote?

he doesn’t flick anymore papers to you and it could be because finals are slowly approaching and the books on his side are less about shakespeare and more about the fundamentals of calculus. he hates math, you know this from the papers he.

you realize now that you’ve never sent him one first and now might be a good time to do so but how? sure you’ve sent him haikus but they were, per say, not very good. well, it did take you ten minutes to realize what exactly syllables were until you knew what it was the whole time but couldn’t remember what it was called.

so you just stay still and write nothing. for now, you think back on his last message.

—

two days. was two days enough to let you process that?

kazuha looks to the side from time to time to see what you’re doing as he fiddles with a paper he’s been meaning to send to you. you look up in feelings someone’s gaze on you, don’t know it’s really just a feeling, and catch him staring. an endearing flush comes about your face and he flicks the paper.

—

you open it and your heart drops. a feeling in your chest you weren’t aware of is crumbling apart.

“there’s this person i like and i was wondering if you think they’d like this”

underneath is another haiku.

Soft lights from outside

Gathering in your presence

A beautiful view

your response is you desperately hiding your feelings. and you nod with a soft smile. he untenses and closes his eyes, grinning.

damn it. you really like him.

—

the next day you leave at the same time which is weird. mostly because despite knowing each other for months on the exchange of paper, you never leave the library together. usually one of your friends comes to sweep you away and he stays an extra hour or two or vice versa. heck, you don’t even show up at the same hour. you just kind of find each other not knowing when the other arrived or if they had always been there.

now it’s awkward because you’re standing close to one another and can talk without the scolding of being loud, not that you ever were inside.

he heaves a sigh and digs into his pocket to pull out a pen and small paper. you give a look of confusion but allow him to finish. you really wanted to say something.

but the final note is here and with no table to slide it over to you he comes up with a last minute plan. reach over to you, he lightly flicks your forehead.

you jump and stare at him with wide eyes as he presents you with a neatly folded note in his hand for you to take.

unfolding it gingerly, you read:

Seeing you outside

A better view than before

Now it is all clear

it takes a while to put two and two together but he does it for you.

“so you never answered my question a few days ago,” his voice is calm and smooth, “did you like that haiku?”

[bwbatta]

blush

Abstract: Aaron Hotchner makes you blush. You just so happen to have the same reaction on him. 

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: some swearing, some teasing from the BAU, mentions of sexy times, death by fluff, get ready for some blushing red cheeks gang

Word count: 2455

A/N: the super cute dividers are by @firefly-graphics!

You’d never thought you’d be dating someone from your team let alone it being Aaron, aka, your boss.

The two of you gave into your feelings for each other after one angsty night when a case went wrong and you ending up in the hospital. 

Admissions of love were shared between the two of you and by any definition you were now together, however deciding to keep it to yourselves for now.

Though hiding your new relationship from a team of profilers was difficult, especially as Aaron thought it funny to use it to his advantage.

“Delivery for Y/N” a voice was heard through the office as your head shot up and mouth fell open slightly at the display of red and white roses held by the delivery man.

“Over here!” Garcia’s excitable voice was heard and you can tell she was just brimming with questions along with Emily and JJ who had also caught sight of the amass of flowers heading your way.

The man popped the vase down on your desk and held out a keypad for you to sign for them. 

Scribbling your signature down, you were half in slight shock and half in awe of the floral arrangement in front of you.

“Who are these from?!” Penelope gushed “you never said you were seeing anyone!”

Plucking the small note from the top of the bunch, you flipped open the small envelope and pulled out the card.

“Just to see if I can make you blush. I love you -A “

Immediately your face flushed.

Damn you, Aaron.

“You’ve been holding out on us” JJ grinned at hot cheeks as you resisted the urge to look up at the window of Aaron’s office, knowing he was already probably watching.

“They’re just from someone” you said offhandedly like it wasn’t a big deal 

“Just someone?!” Derek’s voice was heard from behind you now “I’m guessing it was a guy who sent you these and he’s ‘just someone’ to you?!”

The gathering of the girls around your desk now had caught the attention of the rest of your team, all eager to find out who the flowers were from.

“So, who’s the lucky guy?” Emily grinned leaning against your desk as she admired the flowers “you’ve got to tell us something about him”

“He’s just a guy I’ve been seeing” you could help the smile which appeared across your face 

“A guy who likes to send our Y/N flowers” Derek teased 

It was slow day in the office and the arrival of your delivery was enough to make the team grasp the excuse of a break. Rossi had wandered down from his office and so had Hotch, the latter concealing the smile he wanted to show. 

“Who’s sent Y/N flowers?!” Rossi’s teasing tone was heard as everyone was now gathered 

“A mysterious boyfriend” JJ answered as you bit the inside of your cheek 

“He’s kind of a dick to be honest” you shrugged catching Aaron’s eye “sending me flowers knowing all of you will bombard me with questions”

“So he knows about us?” Emily’s eyebrow shot up 

“Mmm, told him everything about you lot” you mused “it’s almost as if he already knows you guys” 

You held back the chuckle that desperately wanted to escape your lips. 

“Seems like he obviously cares about you. The red roses are typical signs to show romance and love as well as commitment where as the white is traditionally about a new beginning or loyalty” Reid rambled off about the roses to the team as Hotch had raised an eyebrow at you as if to tease you.

Not trusting yourself to not expose the both of you, you dropped your eyes to the roses again as you felt the slight grin on your lips.

“So this guy loves you?!” Derek teased wiggling his eyebrows 

“Alright that’s it” you rolled your eyes with a smile “you all know too much now, I’m not saying anything else”

“You should know better than lying to a bunch of profilers, Y/N” Aaron’s voice was heard humorously 

“Exactly” Penelope grinned “Now of you could just tell me his first and last name along with his date of birth and blood type that would be great”

“I can’t believe you” was the first thing to come out of your mouth as Aaron opened the door to his apartment that night. 

A grin sat on his face as he took in your exasperated look

“I don’t know what you mean” 

“Don’t know what I mean?! I mean you delivering flowers to me which was obviously going to cause an avalanche of questions”

“Ohh, that”

With a look through narrowed eyes you passed him, walking further into the room, expression changing as soon as you and Jack both spotted each other.

“Y/N!” 

“Jack buddy! Hi!” 

Leaping off the seat he was on, his little legs sprinted over to you as you caught him and lifted him onto your hip with arms right around him in a hug. 

“Are we having another sleepover tonight?!” He asked excited 

“I don’t know, you’ll have to ask your dad” you said as immediately you both turned to Aaron with matching puppy eyes 

“Please, Daddy!” Jack asked as he wrapped his arms around your neck tighter “can Y/N stay over?”

“Yes please, Daddy” you smiled at your boyfriend who’s neck has grown a little redder at your teasing tone, knowing exactly what you did to him

“If Y/N wants to stay over, then yes” he grinned, face falling into a genuine smile as his son’s eyes lit up, though he remembered your teasing tone and stored it in his mind for later.

The evening consisted of building with Lego’s, followed by a meal made by Aaron who had happily watched on with genuine heart eyes as his two favourite people bounced off each other’s energy.

Before long a large yawn escaped the boy’s lips as he was snuggled in between you both, his head just dropping onto your shoulder, a key sign he was growing tired. 

Picking up his son, Jack waved a sleepy goodnight to you before Aaron placed him in bed and the boy was out like a light. 

“All the excitement of creating a huge Lego truck must’ve knocked him out” you chuckled as Aaron settled beside you, pulling you into his chest. 

Tugging your legs over his own, you cuddled into his chest as you both relaxed into each other.

“He adores you” Aaron kissed the crown of your head “as do I” 

“He’s my favourite Hotchner man” you shrugged with a slight smile on your face acutely aware of the narrowed eyes you now had staring down at you

“So, it’s not your wonderful boyfriend who sent you flowers at work today?” 

“He’s a close second” 

“Not even when you call him, Daddy?”

“You little-“

Feeling Aaron’s fingers immediately tickle your side your whole body blushed and convulsed trying to get away from the offending action of his hands.

With a bubble of laughter escaping your lips, Aaron immediately covered your lips with his own as you laughed into his mouth still. 

His hand wound through your hair pulling you ever closer as if he couldn’t get enough of you as his other hand wrapped firmly around your waist pulling you into his lap. 

His assault on your mouth lessened slightly until small sweet kisses were shared and you pulled back slightly to just take him in.

“I love you” he whispered leaning downward to find your lips again 

“I love you too” you smiled running your thumb over the bridge of his nose “more than you know”

No other words were said as Aaron lifted you up, you wrapping you legs around his waist in second nature as he wandered down the hallway to the master bedroom, closing the door behind you as you went.

“Holy hell, you obviously had a good night” came Dereks teasing tone as he took the seat next to you on the jet.

“What?”

“Well, as much as I can tell you’ve tried to hide the immense hickey on your neck, it’s still pretty obvious” he snickered 

A hand immediately went to your neck as you narrowed your eyes at him as he just continued to laugh 

“Hey, Em, check this out” he called as you slapped his arm, cheeks flushing 

“Nope, no, nothing to see” you shook your head trying to downplay your colleagues teasing 

“See what?” Emily grinned taking the seat opposite the two of you 

“Take a good look at our Y/N’s neck and tell me a good night was not had by this one?”

“Oh wow” the girl opposite grinned at you “is that from your boyfriend who you’ve told us absolutely nothing about?”

“...might be”

“What about Y/N’s boyfriend?” JJ took the other seat in the pod

“Well considering the damage done to Y/N’s neck...” Emily snickered 

“Oh my god you guys, stop it” you rolled your eyes as you could see Aaron trying to hide a smile as he took the couple seats opposite with Rossi

“Come on, tell us something else about this guy?” Rossi grinned “When are we going to meet him? Invite him to pasta night!”

“It’s still very new and as much as I love you guys, if you were to find out who he was, you’re guaranteed to overload the poor man”

“Overload the- are you kidding?” Derek shot you a look “when would we ever do that?!”

“Greetings my fine furry friends!” The bubbly voice of Garcia popped up “what are we talking about?”

“Y/N’s man” JJ snickered as you shot her a look

“Ooh has anything else been mentioned?”

“Not yet!” 

“As much as I love talking about my love life could we, I don’t know, focus on the case?”

The snickers came from the two females opposite you as everyone began to settle in as the briefing begun. 

“If you need to borrow some concealer, let me know” Emily whispered as you shot her an unamused look 

The gentle knock was heard on your hotel door at around 1:30am. Knowing exactly who it was, you didn’t bother to grab a jumper or anything as you opened the door in just your underwear.

“Well, hello” 

“Hello to you too” you grinned at his slightly stunned expression 

“Want some company?” 

Holding the door open further as an invitation for him to enter, Aaron slipped past you into your room, stealing a kiss from you in the process.

The door shut behind you as the two of you made your way over to the bed you had just come from.

Making yourselves comfortable, you curled into his chest, your favourite place, as he ran his hands up and down your sides.

“As funny as it is seeing the team joke about your neck, I didn’t mean for it to be that bruised” he said running his fingers over the large hickey he had created only the night before.

“I’m not complaining, the others are just joking anyway, though you leaving me out to dry isn’t so much fun”

He snickered into your hair, completely unapologetic 

“Would you want me to intervene?”

“I’d want you to stop egging them on!”

Aaron grinned at the thought of the teasing throughout the day which he had unashamedly taken apart in. 

“Even when they asked about our sex life?”

You groaned remembering Emily cornering you to ask about the mystery man who was currently in your bed. You didn’t give her any answers until JJ showed up and the two started pressuring you with more questions. 

When Aaron had entered the room you were never more grateful, thinking the two would stop interrogating you but when JJ had asked about where he ranked in regards to how good he was in bed, the man couldn’t help but involve himself in this interrogation.

“He’s the best you’ve ever had?” He questioned eyebrows raising “he must be smug about that? I know I would be”

Aaron had supplied the two women with even more questions after that, leaving the room shortly after with a fiery glare from you.

“You just threw me to the lions” you rolled you eyes at the memory 

“But how could I not after knowing I’m the best you’ve ever had?” He grinned 

Your cheeks flushed again wishing you’d never said anything with him being in hearing distance. 

“Smug bastard” you muttered burying yourself into his chest further 

“Aw, come on Sweetheart” he lifted your chin with two fingers to meet your eyes “don’t you want some of the best sex you’ve ever had?”

Your remaining underwear hit the floor not to long after that.

“I swear I didn’t get any sleep last night” Derek complained to Reid at breakfast the next morning as you joined the two along with Aaron and JJ.

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked eyebrows furrowing together 

“I mean there was a couple on our floor last night who were going at it like animals” the man rolled his eyes “Weren’t quiet about it either. Didn’t you hear them Y/N, your room was only a few down from mine”

You just held back the snicker that threatened to escape your lips as you nodded in agreement.

“Yeah I heard them, it was so loud, almost like they were in the same room as me” you shrugged

“You guys just got unlucky with your rooms this time then. On our last case, there was a couple a few doors down from me with the same thing. What is it with hotels and people acting like rabbits?” JJ questioned

That time you were both definitely in Aaron’s room which was near JJ’s.

“Anyway, hopefully you’ll be able to go wild with your man when we land Y/N?” JJ teased “Add a few more hickeys to the collection?”

Aaron thought you’d blush and shoot her teasing questions down but was surprised when you just laughed and shot her a smirk.

“Oh definitely” you grinned “to be honest though I bought this little red number I can’t wait to try out, hopefully he’ll be the one with a couple hickeys next time”

The man next to you nearly choked on his coffee at the thought of you in a red number.

Trying to flush the idea from his mind, it did nothing as the red blush grew on his cheeks slightly not being able to think of anything else other than what he’d do to you when you got home. 

Seeing the slight blush on his cheeks, you grinned slightly, thoroughly happy you had the same reaction on him as you knew he did on you.