#and i can filter other stuff out automatically now too

[theminecraftbee]

[image ID: my vault island. it shows a SSN export cable that is connected to a trash can from the trash cans mod. /end ID]

......well, folks, i did the meme,

[thehighpriestexx420]

Their True Self's Feelings VS. Their Ego's Feelings About You

General Collective Pick-A-Gif Tarot Reading

Our True Self is the version of us WITHOUT the programming society has instilled in us and/or the programming our physical body came with. It's your soul, your spirit, your higher self. My experience with my true self can only be described as what feels right.

The Ego can be used as a tool for your true self to use or you can fall under the automatic habits it provides. It's our mind. The brain filter that allows us to perceive reality - more commonly the reality that's physical.

My intention was to pull cards into 2 columns. One to represent their true feelings and the other to represent their ego's. I've found that the message worked when I looked at all of the cards together. If you can discern the cards can be read the way I intended with your specific situation, feel free to let me know!

Take a moment to yourself. Step back from any distractions on the outside & within your mind. Take a clearing breath. Focus your attention within yourself & what you sense. Which gif calls out to you? If it's more than one, than there are multiple messages for you.

Take what resonates and leave the rest. Be aware that the future is malleable - you can choose to follow your true self or any toxic programming you've picked up. The results will follow.

💖 New followers & those who reblog the linked post below 👇 get a FREE one question tarot reading & reiki healing session. Paid services are same hour, first come first serve, & guaranteed between 8 am - 9pm 💖

✌️ Tips are also always appreciated! Help me continue helping you by providing me with funds to purchase new decks & stuff that keeps me alive 😊 Cashapp: $coltonicholas ✌️

Pile One :

Their soul is calling them to approach you & express their romantic interest. However, there's something that happened between you that's caused them to stop & truly think about this decision.

They're trying to discern how they can balance their self-love & their love for others. They don't want to get hurt again but they also don't want to miss out on their desired connection with you.

The Universe is telling them the time to approach you is now & that they're extremely supported in this. In fact, this is a part of both of your life's purpose. It's destiny. Every aspect of existence is weaving the path to make this happen.

But they're currently being held back and stalling due to doubt & the fear of hoping just to be hurt & disappointed again. As in, they feel this desire of theirs is too good to be true. Their non-action is out of fear & self-preservation.

Pile Two :

They're not seeing the results they're looking for in this connection. There's impatience. They're looking for answers outside themself rather than within.

You may be dating & haven't made things official yet. They're questioning if you're as invested in this connection as they are because of this. They could be feeling the strong desire to marry you, and yet, aren't seeing these results.

They may be overly focused on the material/physical & not enough on what their soul is saying. They want a successful home life with you while not feeling at home within themself. They cope with this feeling by indulging in distractions. Propping their ego up, shopping, bragging, etc.

They need to be more calm, nurturing, & patient. They feel the need to rush ahead while not considering others enough.

They're overly concerned with others' opinions. They want to be able to say that you're theirs & not fear people questioning the validity of your connection. It's the vibe where people have been in years long engagements. There's often doubt from others and within the connection. "Are they not sure if they want to get married, is it going to happen, etc."

Pile Three :

They're being held back by confusion, the pressure to conform, & structure. It's like they're lost in a land of illusion. They're unable to move on due to this belief they must uphold these rigid rules.

"If it's not broke, don't fix it" is a saying that comes to mind when describing this person's mindset.

They don't want to adventure outside of these old habitual ways of thinking. The unknown is unstable & unpredictable.

Despite this, their soul is desiring a union with you & they feel it - the urge to reach out. Their ego is blocking them from seeing a way forward with you.

For some of you, they want to propose but something is leading them to believe it's not possible. There's a clashing - 2 opposing forces that "shouldn't" go together. So this can look like having a religion where you're "supposed" to be with a member of the same religion, a family disapproving of same sex marriage, or some other value/belief that doesn't approve of your marriage/union.

They've had unhealthy examples of relationships growing up so this also distorts how relationships are "supposed" to look like to them. There's some kind of codependency between you two. Like you're both chained to these toxic belief systems. Change your mentor/who you look up to & set yourself free.

Pile Four :

There's this idea - this hidden gem in their heart. I'm seeing that they need some time away from the distractions of the world so that they can look inside themselves to see what this bright, burning, blossoming passion really is before they offer it to you.

They're scared of things not working out because they haven't seen any indicators it would. Their heart is closed off & as a consequence it blocks them from receiving what they desire. That includes the positive interactions from you that they're looking for.

But I'm seeing that this beginning between you is bright, beautiful, & promising. You both can try to hide what you're feeling, but it's too powerful to be ignored anyway.

I'm seeing that you both share a heart/the same feelings. This connection is within your core. It's designed to free you, reveal your true self, heal you, & to assist you with growth. For some of you, this is your divine counterpart/twin flame. For others, it's a strong soulmate connection.

[celabi]

I’m sorry but scummy scara has been living in my head rent free and I’m always checking your blog to see if you’ve posted more about him alsjshsk.

Here’s some of my brainrot about him:

✩ he once noticed you forgot to eat a few times and now he’s insisted on making lunch for you a few times a week! (Ei’s very shocked to find him in the kitchen with one of her cook books open but after an outburst from him, she doesn’t question it further). He brings you all sorts of things he’s made and watches in delight as you eat it all. You don’t need to know that his cum has been mixed into everything and he’s tucking himself in as close to the table as possible so you can’t see how hard he is as the thought of a part of him being inside of you as you go about your day. It comforts him to know that even when you go to your separate homes at the end of the day, there’s still a part of him with you.

✩ similarly, he’s always worried that you’re not drinking enough and so he’s offering his water bottle to you all the time!! Yeah, it’s so he can have something that you’ve put your mouth on but if you’re staying hydrated too then it’s a win for both of you, right? You don’t need to know how he’ll savour the taste of you (or even your lipgloss) on the bottle when he’s alone.

✩ on the note of makeup, I’m sure your lip balm/stick/gloss/whatever will always go missing because he’s always stealing them. You don’t know that either though, you just know that your friend Scara is kind enough to give you some money when you’re upset about losing your makeup so you can buy some more! He just loves using them and fantasising about how you’ll taste when he kisses you!!

✩ also Scara helping you with some class project and he has this super cool trick to help you filter through searches, he just has to download something for you! Yeah he does what he says but while he does “all the boring technical stuff” that he says you don’t need to pay attention to, he’s downloading his own malware that lets him access your computer remotely whenever he wants. He’ll get off to your pretty face through your webcam when he returns home and omg imagine he finds out about your tumblr blog!

Oof sorry that was a lot lol. I have a few other idea but I’ll save those for another ask ;) Can I be 🫧 anon or 🪷 if bubble is already taken? Hope you had a good Christmas :)

Love this so much, 🫧 anon, welcome 🥺🫶

He’s soooo freaking cute, how he stares at you with excitement bubbling up in his chest when you bite down into the sandwich he had so generously made for you the night before. Wether he used the excuse of ‘I accidentally made a second one’ or not, none of it mattered because when he saw the way your eyes lit up as he handed it to you, or how you so adorably thanked him for his thoughtfulness— he knew he had just gained a few extra points towards his end goal.

“Hm? Theres a weird after taste the mayonnaise leaves on your tongue? Oh, I’m sure it just cause… it’s a knock off brand! So don’t worry about it too much.” He’s smiling at you so innocently, with pure looking eyes that you don’t even bother to pry any longer— and instead accept the offering he had made (specifically) for you. Lol, there’s no possible way he would have mixed his cum inside! Not a chance.

“Speaking of mayonnaise… there’s a little bit uhhh.. right here. Allow me.” Scaramouche knows he’s too impatient, and can’t bother to wait for your response— so he’s quickly leaning in close and brushing his thumb over the edge of your mouth, and ever so slightly slipping his finger between your lips to awkwardly push the sauce against your teeth. He’s blushing profusely about the closeness of your bodies and the way your tongue almost automatically lols out to lick the residue off his thumb, and you’re embarrassed because wow! That’s kinda… embarrassing. Hmm, wonder why my good friend and classmate, Scaramouche is so flushed red and sweating.

I love your brain so much :(( so cute and wholesome Aww. Lmao imagine if you didn’t have a webcam, he’d go home sulking about how his plan was ruined. Maybe he could snag your phone number instead, so he doesn’t have to email you 😕

Hope you have a happy holidays !! 🫶 thanks for interacting, 🫧 <3 (sorry this was so short and rushed, I have family over for New Years!))

[mychlapci]

Also had thoughts about that mer au and I'm kinda giddy bc a fandom I was into in 2019 had a v similar concept so now I'm borrowing to offer:

The mermechs shouldn't be breeding as fast as they should. In their natural habitat, it's probably every few years they pair up to mate or feel truly comfortable to settle down with clutches or pups. Now they're in an environment that's closed off from predators and most rivals, have consistent food access medical attention and clueless and too terrified caretakers. It's a perfect storm for a breeding frenzy.

Mers that feed their pups ending up with larger, saggier tits, valves are ruined by the so frequent breeding and birthing and sense of self preservation goes out the window. Probably a few start fucking each other's spike sheaths since the valves are no longer right. Maybe the staff have to start fully separating even bonded sets for their own safety, as well as having to do medical repairs on sheaths and slits. But of course the mers can't go cold turkey, so the staff have to get all sorts of things to stuff and distract the mers.

And not everyone is a saint, so it doesn't take long to find out how viable a land and mer mech are for producing offspring

oh holy shit now that’s interesting. Mers suddenly breeding rapidly in facility tanks and research aquariums because they’re constantly fed, safe, and no one bothers them in there...

A mer getting so over-excited to breed that they shove their spike into their partner’s loose valve the moment the last of their pups is out, filling their stretched, worn gestation tank again. Then again, and again, and again. 

A mer that had been bred so much that they’re too fat to swim properly, and they can only drag themself alongside the floor of the tank, their constantly swollen array bruising itself against the rocks and pebbles as they struggle to get to where the food is. In the ocean this wouldn’t be possible, they’d have to keep at least part of their agility to hunt for food and escape danger, but here? In a pretty, filtered tank? What’s stopping them from having more pups? (y'know, maybe at first most facilities didn’t mind the breeding… some, perhaps at the start most of them, would sell the pups and make bank. The mers were kept blissfully unaware, believing their young were sent off to grow up in the wide ocean, as is custom)

hrghhh a mer fucking their partner’s spike sheath because their valve is completely ruined, turned inside out and completely loose after years of endless birthing and breeding. The staff has to constantly repair their merformers because they end up completely used and abused after a while. After repairs all the bondmates have to be separated even though it seems to be taking a toll on their mental wellbeing. But the moment they reconnect them, they attempt to breed again and by now they should have really learnt their lesson, but… instinct wins. Safety, an abundance of food, their beloved partners… it just activates the drive to breed within them automatically. They can't help it. Even if it hurts after a while.

Most facilities now have to figure out how to release their mers back into the wild without fucking the whole ecosystem up.

[gramophoneturtle]

Update/Pinned Post

Welcome to my art archive. I've posted a lot about my OCs, TWEWY, Persona 5, Xenoblade X and in other fandoms.

Unfortunately due to recent-ish changes on Tumblr I no longer feel comfortable posting here much or at all. I'll keep my blog up for the foreseeable future or maybe even forever because of how Tumblr stores data. I'd rather have the link back to the source.

Or if the other sites explode in the meantime.

This has nothing to do with the date sadly. I'm just at my limit.

Here's where you can find me:

Pillowfort: gramophoneturtle. The most artist respected place and a decent long form blogging place.

Neocities: I'm currently developing an art archive on neocities over here. This will be THE archive place, one day! With RSS, one day!

Bluesky: gramophoneturtle. Twitter replacement. I don't trust it but it's meshing with me more than mastodon. Stream announcements are here b/c I ran out of energy for crossposting.

cohost: gramophoneturtle. I don't trust it'll stay but it has both a draft system & can save alt text on draft edits. Wild stuff to praise but when porting art out of Tumblr, it's helpful to have new drafts.

Twitch & YouTube: I stream weekly on Twitch and store VODs on both. Twitch has all my VODs and YouTube has VODs from Fall 2023 and onwards.

More details, pros and cons about each site below for those who are curious. Thanks for sticking around and reading.

Pillowfort

It's user funded and transparent about the breakdown of funds

They're against generative AI. Their reinforcement came out around the time Tumblr's not-really-against-it stance came out. This is huge to me.

They're working on a PWA of the site so it will have a way to function like a smartphone app

Image post options aren't great but you aren't limited to 4 (unlike cohost - kinda, and Bluesky)

Alt text gets eaten if you edit a post currently which is awful. (Tumblr used to do this.) Alt text isn't an option for picture type posts but is for text posts with pictures. But hey at least you can include alt text!

Communities are nice for fandoms and stuff. You can search by tags but you don't follow tags, you join/watch communities.

They have funding for the next 6 months past any month that was fully funded. So as of April 1, 2024, funding should last until (the end?) of October if they were to not get any more donations/subscriptions from now on. Basically, they have a 6 month buffer and so far for 2024 they've been keeping it and maintaining their monthly funding goals

Neocities

Home page URL should not change but artwork URLs might

The artwork section is inspired by Tumblr's archive page/system. I don't think I want it to be exactly like it (might be a limitation of static pages re: tag filtering) but I want to try and partially make it

Artwork on there have been nightshaded and glazed. I would like to reglaze some pieces that are too glazed for my liking, now that I have a better computer for it (so it doesn't take forever). That's why not a lot of art is on there yet

I might go into detail about how I automated some of the web dev stuff to make my life easier on my my main blog. In summary: I'm using 11ty (eleventy), generating pages from data and templates, using github for version control and github actions for updating the site automatically

Bluesky:

Feeds are cool. I've found and made (through SkyFeed) a lot of Feeds. Feeds can look for text in posts and alt text, and/or specific tags. Can filter out reblogs or replies. Can work off of user lists. Can include/exclude specific posts - like Twitter Moments. There's a lot of flexibility and filtering.

Feeds can lookback anywhere from 25 hours to 1 week when not looking at one user. So when pulling from many users, you could just get the latest updates. For one user (say your own gallery of whatever) you're allowed to go back to the beginning, it can be your art gallery. And then people can just follow that feed so you don't have to worry about your art getting buried if people just want to follow your art

There's a setting you can turn on to warn and prevent you from posting until you add alt text. I love this. Especially since, like Twitter, you can't go back and edit a post

Forcing ALT text has the added bonus of leaving it last so I can double check tags and text in case I accidentally hit the post button before I'm ready

Twitch

There is art. And VTuber stuff. And life updates. Art/project updates. Lots of OC talk. Like I wish I could post more about Null considering how much stuff I've spoken about them on stream but freaking time! And energy.

YouTube

Used to do more Timelapses but stopped because laptop was not having fun with it. Now that I have a new computer it might be better!

Also has Twitch VODs because I want another place to back up VODs since local recordings take up a lot of space. And I can mark Chapters(/Moments?) timestamps to find stuff again.

Special thank you to those that made it all the way down here!

So what is the blog for now? Archiving, mainly, as I said at the beginning. I might link to my neocities page in maybe art updates or to pillowfort. And I might need a place to fall back to if the other sites don't last. I know bluesky and cohost are not much better/probably not better in other ways so I know that posting on them probably won't be good long term.

But that's why I'm working on the art archive site on the side. I'll always have a safe and controlled place where I can have all my art and details and stuff. It's gonna take a while and it's challenging but it's what I feel like I gotta do now.

I'm just so tired.

[livlepretre]

Ok so I’ve been wondering about a few things, when Elena and Klaus are in NOLA, she tell him she knows that he’s sleeping with Rebekah and Stefan, and to me he sounded like that that was information that he would have rather her not find out. Why? Wasn’t that before he fell in love with her?

Secondly, in chapter 10 or 11 when Elena sort of walks in on their threesome, how did Stefan and Klaus not notice she was there? Like even though they were preoccupied should’ve they have vampire-sensed it?

Thirdly, how did Stefan and Rebekah feel when Klaus stopped sleeping with them?

Fourthly, I’m dying to know where Stefan and Elena are going after their field trip!!!

I love this fic so much and I read it at 3am instead of studying for my college midterms 😅 So congratulations you have me hooked! This is so much better than TVD and I actually stopped watching after season 3 because in my opinion, it was awful. Seasons 1 and 2 was peak tv. I tried to pick it up again but then I stopped watching again after Nina left. The soul of the show was gone and that was the final nail in the coffin for me.

ehh I think it was part of his private life. He wasn't going to tell her about it straight out, but it wasn't that secret either. It literally just went over Elena's head to even notice a mxm relationship between her boyfriend (whom she assumed was het) and Klaus (whom she also assumed was het), let alone uhh sibling incest. but I don't think Klaus x Stefan was all that secret, she just misread A LOT of stuff as Klaus holding Stefan captive as opposed to like... being a vampiric lover. but yeah, this is all before Klaus was in love with Elena. He falls in love with her near the end of the first nola arc. Elena actually falls in love with him first. so in that scene where Elena says she knows, he's making her spell it out because he wants her to speak blatantly about his sex life. He knows she's typically shy about that topic and he wants to push her boundaries. If Elena sees it as him not liking her knowing, that's because she's unreliable as a narrator. Pretty much any observations other than the literal dialogue is subject to Elena being an Hilarious Unreliable Narrator.

In that sex scene-- think about the incalculable stimuli we process through our five senses at any given moment. Our brains have to actually filter out most of it in order for us to pay attention to whatever we're focused on; it skips things, makes assumptions, hallucinates, all sorts of weird and interesting things. Now think about vampires. They can see and hear and smell and taste (and feel?) so much more than us. What may as well be infinitely more. I'm sure they have to filter out things too-- probably a lot of it automatically. This is my explanation for why they are able to have private conversations in vampire abodes at all. Because in theory anyone could eavesdrop at any time, right? Unless there was loud music playing all the time? But we can assume that in order to eavesdrop from a distance, they typically have to be zeroing in, because otherwise it would just be more noise to filter out, just like they ignore the sound of the worms and ants and every other insect in the ground. So what I'm getting down to-- Stefan and Klaus were distracted. They were literally mid-fuck. I hope they're not paying attention to Elena in that context, whom they can probably hear all the time anyway, whether she is accidentally peaking in or not! (Actually, can we all headcanon that they are listening to Elena during? Because that's an interesting thought.) But even though neither of them looked up, we can assume that at least Stefan was aware. He came down to the kitchen to seek her out soon afterwards-- because he knew the cat was out of the bag. As for Klaus-- I think we can assume he noticed, as well. But really, if you were having GREAT sex and then you peripherally notice someone looking in who then gets embarrassed and flees, would you stop having sex, or would you shrug it off? Again, them being too wrapped up in each other to notice Elena at all is her observation, her perception-- she is upset to discover she has yet another romantic rival for Stefan and also it's rocked her assumptions to their foundations. She's also just found out that sibling incest is apparently a vampire thing. Girl is SO unreliable about what actually happened.

How did Stefan and Rebekah feel: relieved. Stefan already felt like he was juggling too much and was one bad catch away from having his heart ripped out and Rebekah wanted to be free to pursue Stefan as her own, without her brother making her relationship difficult and about himself. But the other side of that is that Stefan was also worried about what this meant for Elena-- he had a dark premonition about it-- and Rebekah was a bit unnerved by her brother's unprecedented feelings development.

Oh, well, Stefan and Elena have to go to Chicago-- both because Klaus wants them to go, and because how could they fail to revisit the sight of their breakup?

and ooof! same feelings about tvd! it's so true!

[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

Hi! I saw ALW’s Phantom of the Opera live a couple of days ago and I haven’t been able to stop consuming Phantom content ever since, which is why I happened to read your interpretation of Leroux’s Phantom of the Opera, and the post is so well thought out I really felt compelled to send you an ask. It’s so hard to find a good book commentary in which Erik is not depicted as the worst man alive or the sweetest angel who did nothing wrong.. I’ll definitely be going through your tags in the next couple of days!

I hope this doesn’t come off as inappropriate, just wanted to say I absolutely love your take on the character, I don’t usually see interpretations I actually like or agree with!

Have a good day 🫶

nonono this was SUPER cool of you and I really appreciate it! and I'm sorry my tags are a mess and you can't find all my Erik thoughts in one place.

I find the current dominant fanon on poto to be...frustrating. It's a bunch of people engaging in the most shallow, deliberately bad faith reading, rehashing the same tired ass takes. I'm off reddit now but for a few months there I had a lovely time on the poto subreddit, with, like, one good reddit friend who was, like me, an adult age fan of gothic literature in general, and we were constantly batting theories back and forth for why the culture is like this--and why only the English speaking portion of an international sensation is like this. We ultimately concluded that some people are just saying shit for the clout, but also the show brings out a TON of repression in people. We are convinced that some of the loudest, most irritating, most condemning voices are the ones also reading absolute filth on a03.

Some people are attracted to Erik and cannot handle the reality of that. It's easier to not admit you like something you "shouldn't," and pop culture has not come nearly as far in this way as it thinks it has. There's a lot of internalized hang ups and even shame about liking something that is, on some level, portrayed as potentially dangerous. Something powerful. Some people are still hung up on power = bad, lust after someone powerful in whatever way as indistinguishable from lust for power = bad.

And some other people are genuinely repulsed by the fact that Erik is canonically physically ugly, and they can't live with the realization that they're that shallow. Therefore: Erik must just be a fuckin loser lol and it's all his fault. And this is where some frustrating distortions of Christine's character happen, imo. The contemporary audience can't handle a female character who is anything but free of judgement. Christine is a perfect angel, a good girl, therefore any hesitation about Erik means that EVERYTHING IS HIS FAULT EVER.

But it's also frustrating, too, like you say, when Erik is seen as a perfect little blorbo who's done nothing wrong in his life. The point of it all, imo, the actual point of gothic horror et all assorted genres, is that the suffering is real and it matters and the actions can still be terrible. The character can be both a monster and a martyr.

And maybe it's just that those ideas are too complex for everyone to hold at once. Erik is absolutely a victim and he's not WRONG about how his face is the problem, and of course that would make anyone bitter. But Erik just as absolutely does some terrible things. It's all very understandable, imo--as long as the audience knows that understandable doesn't automatically mean justifiable.

And he's just such a powerful figure, in and out of his story, and also tragic and so Romantic and so romantic, and it drives me crazy that people reduce him to textbook normal male loser.

Like, don't apply your real life filters to fiction, you guys! Erik is not a normal guy! He's brilliant! He's different! That's why there's such fun tension in story--he's got a lot to offer; it's just also very very complicated.

AND THE MOST FRUSTRATING PART IS THAT IT WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THIS. The stuff that the phandom seems to think is essential and obvious is not essential nor obvious! Broadway carried the show for decades on the strength of mostly women who were mostly obsessed with the Phantom! That's just the reality of it all.

Or, no. The MOST frustrating part is how some people accuse you of internalized misogyny for being sympathetic to Erik. As if reducing all media to the standard of "does the female character choose the Good Husband?" isn't wildly patronizing.

anyway, preaching to the choir, etc...

getting back to important things, CONGRATS ON SEEING IT LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME! It's such an experience and so deliciously definitive. Do you mind me asking who you saw? I love looking up new cast members and hearing their takes and quirks.

[semperintrepida]

I’m behind on tumblr but if you’re still taking writing qs, 5&6 please. Also, 15 fascinates me because I have learned recently of myself that absolutely font matters when writing (work) stuff and i get distracted if it’s not “right”, so if you have thoughts on how font affects your (creative) writing process I’d be interested in hearing! Also, not on the list: do you outline with pen & paper or is it all on the computer?

My deepest apologies, I somehow missed this ask in my inbox and found it yesterday while doing that tarot ask meme.

5. What is an image/set of images that you're particularly proud of?

I've been thinking about my older work lately, so I'll highlight a deep cut that only my OG readers will remember: ALL of the formal Japanese garden imagery in Kunoichi. Yeah, I'm proud of that.

They kept walking, until the path rounded back toward the entrance gate, but Britt stopped Santana before she'd gotten too far ahead. "Over here," she said, and she led Santana to a small, unobtrusive path that headed deeper into the corner of the garden, easily missed if one didn't know to look for it. It led them through a grove of green foliage, the air cool with the promise of moisture, and as they walked further the promise was revealed: a small pond with an island, accessible by two narrow stone bridges. Sunlight filtered down through the pines that ringed the pond and cast the space with a milky glow the color of undyed silk. It wasn't quiet, not with the metropolis around them, but it was peaceful, and the light and the feeling of being surrounded by something sacred made it the kind of place where voices automatically lowered to whispers, where possibilities seemed endless. Santana stood like a stone statue, as still as the waters of the pond, taking it all in. She breathed softly and slowly. They stood there for a long time, saying nothing.

In the beginning of Kuno, Britt is a dead woman walking, surrounded by a sterile, hyper-urban world. But every garden in this story is very much alive, and a long-dormant seed, given the right care, can sprout and blossom again.

6. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?

Hoo boy. Yeah, I've got an idea, one I've been kicking around for about a decade now, for an original science fiction book (novelette? novella? who knows?). The protagonist is a woman who's a drill sergeant in a military belonging to an empire involved in an endless war with another empire at a scale where after battles, entire planets are stripped for natural resources, mineral and organic. The protag's recruits are all clones of dead soldiers, who retain traces of their original personality but need to be taught fighting skills, and she forms a connection with one clone soldier, a headstrong woman who has an innate knack for the fighting arts.

The protag trains her clone squad, then sends them off to battle, where they all die and their organic matter is scraped off the barren rocks so it can be used to make more clone soldiers.

Protag is assigned a new squad of clones, same as the first. Forms a connection with the same clone soldier, who is not an exact copy of the previous, but clone personalities never are...

The clones go to battle and die. The cycle repeats, and each time, more of the protag's backstory is revealed, until we find out that the protagonist was once an admiral of the fleet, and the headstrong clone soldier was her wife who died in battle, after which the protag asked to be demoted to the drill sergeant for the clone squad where her (dead) wife's clone would be assigned. It's the only way for them to be together again.

I've never been able to write this thing due to other obsessions getting in the way (*cough*kyssandra*cough*) and the fact that I fucking hate worldbuilding, and unfortunately, expectations around hard science fiction demand worldbuilding to an absurd degree of accuracy. I'm sorry, I'm not going to learn astrophysics so I can write this story.

15. Does font matter to you when you're writing a draft?

Yes, but not in the usual way—at least, not using typical fonts like Times New Roman or Helvetica. I use the same font that I use when writing code: Droid Sans Mono Dotted for Powerline. I've been ruined for anything else.

Bonus Question: do you outline with pen & paper or is it all on the computer?

All on the computer. I used to do a thing where I'd keep track of scenes on bundles of index cards, but these days I find digital notes easier to deal with.

[fic writing questions meme]

[fablewritesnonsense]

Getting to Know You

Got tagged by @thefallenangelsgang for this yesterday but my kitten keeps distracting me with cuddles.

Do you make your bed?

Nope. I sleep with a weighted blanket and a nest of stuffies/pillows and I dont like disassembling my nest lol

Favorite number?

I dont really have one for everyday life, but when I'm writing I like groups of three. Both for creating groups of character bonds as well as for thematic purposes.

Can you parallel park?

Yes, but fuck that. It's too stressful.

Do you think aliens are real?

I believe that the universe is too massive for Earth to be the only planet with intelligent life.

Can you drive a manual car?

Nope. I barely got my dad to teach me how to drive an automatic, and nobody in my family owns a manual anymore for me to learn.

What's your guilty pleasure?

I don't really believe in guilty pleasures in the sense of "this is something i enjoy but am ashamed of because society." I got made fun of for liking literally anything growing up even if it was a "normal" thing to enjoy, so I decided a few years back that I wasn't gonna feel guilty for enjoying things.

That said, I'm really attatched to Team Four Star's old stuff like DBZ abridged and their Fallout 4 Let's Play. Some parts aged better than others, but they're so stupid and so fun to watch. It's the closest I get to a Guilty Pleasure.

Tattoos?

Two! Left is Captain Tusktooth from CR and right is a wagon wheel which is related to one of my original characters.

Favorite color?

I like earthy colors. But i love a good pine/emerald green

Favorite types of music?

I'm really getting back into Country now that spotify has some playlists that filter out the patriotic/bigoted shit. I also love rock music, my favorite band is like emo punk rock. And im a slut for musicals. I was a theater queer so no surprise there.

Do you like puzzles?

Yup! Its so satisfying to solve/reassemble them

Any phobias?

Roaches and heights. No, I will not elaborate lol

Favorite childhood sport?

I have had very little interest in sports growing up with that expanding to watching gymnastics/ice skating and dog agility contests when i got older.

Do you talk to yourself?

Regularly! Mostly about chores or to hype myself up.

What movies do you adore?

Howl's Moving Castle, for ovcious reasons. Robin Hood: Men in Tights, it's just hilarious, and I grew up watching it. Probably more but those are the only ones i can think of at the moment.

Coffee or Tea?

Coffee, it's comforting to me. I need to make today's cup, actually. Between Melvin napping on my chest and having to get the kittens food, i haven't had time.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

Six year old me wanted to be a Dragon Rider. But the first time I decided on an actual job I wanted to be a pediatrician. Now I'm a college drop out with an associates degree lmao

No pressure tagging @justaduckarts @jackiegaytona @andyandnormski @bardic-inspo @ithinkthiswasabadidea

[cosmic-ships]

100% jimmy (Clyde's brother) knows that Clyde has a soft spot for Kaden and Mellie (Clyde and Jimmy's sister) knows that I am extremely fond of Clyde.

Yes. Millie and Jimmy talk about it to each other and get all mad when Clyde and I are just too stubborn to say anything to each other- It's like the two siblings know that Clyde and I like each other a lot and they want to see us get together but they also respect us both and want us to "figure it out" on our own but its infuriating for them to see lol

Also I can see there being a misunderstanding with Jimmy's ex wife too. Like Sadie (Jimmy's 12 y/o daughter) is talking about me a lot and his ex is like "WHO!?" and she automatically assumes that I'm Jimmy's new partner.

I can see her coming up to me telling me to run and stuff like that because he isn't the most reliable and stuff and I'm like

"Uhm.... we're...not...dating???? He's a friend????" and then Sadie pops up and says

"Kaden is head over heels for uncle Clyde" and I'm like

>/////> "e-excuse me!?"

and Sadie being a kid with no filter goes "Daddy says everyone sees it 'cept you two and you should both get yer shit together." and her mom has to scold her for using a swear LOL

I'm just standing there like ._. "I gotta go now-"

[livseses]

Idk if I'm onto something at all, but I think I connected two dots of frustration just now.

Okay so, I'm fucking around in my phone. Still hype that FTP is built into the file explorer. Genuinely, that's a solidly good thing and it's a damn shame that doesn't exist for literally every file browser. But when I go to look for photos, I realize it doesn't match up with the filesystem. All of our pictures in the "bonibel" album in our gallery are just scattered haphazardly throughout DCIM and Downloads. And when we use another app (Element in this case) to pull up a picture, it's using yet another method of fetching files, unless we go through 2-3 extra screens to get to the file explorer.

And when I was explaining this annoyance to my gf, I recalled a Tom Scott video where he talked about how gmail's labels work and took the place of folders there. Recall ofc is hazy and needs plenty of salt, but what we remember was that the way emails are organized in gmail is that they're all just in one spot and labels are attached to just filter them out.

And I'm just like, really annoyed by these two instances of taking our directories away. Directories/folders are, if not the best way of organizing stuff, the way that all modern operating systems are built upon already. Organizing stuff into folders (for us at least) is incredibly intuitive since that's how it's done in every other computer that's not an appliance. (And it's done in these appliances too, they just don't let you get into them)

Idk, this is a bit of a late night ramble, but I'm frustrated, annoyed, and downright worried about the way tech is going. Corpos don't want us owning anything. They don't want us fucking with our devices. They want you to replace your computer/phone/console/tablet with a new one instead of any ability to extend its life yourself. Everything is locked away and obfuscated so they can keep you on the thing the way they want it. Cloud services. Subscriptions. Forced automatic updates that install adware. App store monopolies. It's all this shitty capitalist takeover of quite possibly the greatest invention in human history.

[ultimateinferno]

Hi! Sorry if this is rude but, I saw that you said you use an adblock on your phone. How do you do that?

Thanks!

Sure. First things first, my advice only applies to android, so if you're apple I can't help you much. If you want an adblock for Youtube specifically that is so thorough it can automatically skip sponsor-segments within individual videos: ReVanced is for you. (If you have questions subreddit is here)

Now what I use is Rethink. It's a DNS manager and VPN (I think). It can do a lot of things but in short, it will reveal what's going on under the hood of your phone's internet. Note, because it will be doing a lot of work playing door keeper for your internet, it may slow things down. If you want you can have it ignore certain apps and just let everything through. For example an app that doesn't have ads like Discord. You can turn it off momentarily if it's slowing things down too much or just give Discord permissions to just bypass it.

So. Let's take a look at the home page of Rethink. (below is a decently big wall of text, but i just want to be thorough. I'm willing to elaborate further if asked)

Only thing cropped out is a menu bar along the bottom and the button that turns the app functions on and off.

So top left under apps lets you manage specific Applications and what IPs/Domains they can call.

Top right is universal Rules for domains and IPs phone-wide.

Bottom left DNS lets you pick which DNS you want to use. These can do a lot of heavylifting with website management. It can block a lot of ads already (although it won't catch everything) and even block other websites such as porn should you wish. (I'll explain what a DNS is at the end of the post, but for now, pick one that describes what you want).

Bottom Middle lets you set up firewalls that can be really vigilant on what gets sent to your phone. If you want to fully quarantine the device you totally can.

Bottom right is logs. It lets you see every IP and Domain that communicates with your phone and what app is responsible for it.

So, how do you block ads? Depends. If you want to block ads for a specific app (which is easier) you can do either Logs or Apps. Let's start with Apps.

Here, it shows all apps on your phone, even one's built in and not downloaded by you. You can use the search function and various filters to find what you want. I'll use tumblr for example.

This is what it looks like when you click on the app. Here, it shows every internet domain/IP tumblr has ever contacted in the pass... whenever you used it since you either cleared your logs or downloaded the app and turned it on. Click on a domain and this little page is brought up

You are shown the exact domain and ip the call entails. You can select or deselect Trust or Block. Trust lets the call through no matter what. Block prevents it no matter what. As you can see, you can identify this is an ad domain because it says ad in it. If you don't know if it's an ad you can google look it up and google will tell you if its an ad. As you go through this you'll discover just how many ad services exist. Anyways, I blocked both the domain and the IP. And just scroll through the list given to you and pick and choose.

But what if you keep getting ads phone wide that the DNS nor the pre-existing block list doesn't catch?

Well there's the universal rules. Unfortunately for this app, I don't think there's a quick way to universally block a domain just from the nodes.

This is what it looks like. If you click the little plus button you can add more universal rules to your phone to block (or allow). You can do a specific IP or Domain, or you can wildcard it.

In most computer spaces the character * is the wildcard to be used. if your messing around with funky computer stuff, that is like the universal code for "give me anything and everything." So for these examples, my rules are "block all domains that end with .adsrvr.org or .adsbynimbus.com" These wildcards are important because these domains begin with different things.

Here *.adsbynimbus.com blocks both of these domains.

Of course, you don't need to do this from the outset. My experiences with finicky computer things is that you do as much as you can at the beginning, and then live it with for a certain period of time until it annoys you and you want to make changes, and then you do a little more to clean things up.

To start with, pick an adblock based DNS, and see where the rest of things will take you from there.

*DNS stands for Domain Name Server. It's basically the yellowpages for the internet. Instead of your computer keeping track of every possible Domain to IP combo on the internet, which is absurd, a DNS manages it for you and you only have to remember one IP address. So when you type in something like tumblr.com into your browser, your computer will ask the DNS "give me the IP address for tumblr.com please!" and then the DNS will say "tumblr.com is located here at [32 bit number]" and then your computer will go "Thankyou!" and go to that IP Address.

These DNS that your picking from will look at the domain your computer or phone is asking for and say "Wait a minute! These domains are all ads! I'm not giving this to you!" and send a 403 error to which the app using the ads will go "Oh damn" and move on with its life. This is imperfect because ads are fucking everywhere, but that's the short of it. This isn't getting into other shit like caching. I'm just using this post as an excuse to neglect homework.

[lancerious]

Saw this post, wanted to answer it, yeah lol

Lancer & Spade King (shocker), each in their own ways. Almost nobody hcs these characters exactly how I do therefore everyone else is automatically wrong (jk you do what you want within reason lol). Those are the 2 big ones, I can't think of many other characters to put here

As an aroace I am obligated to not reply to this one :P

I don't want to push any buttons here, but I DO NOT like seeing fanart depicting Lancer & Spade King in animalistic fashions. Idc if they mostly resemble their canon selves or if they're something else entirely, this gets on my nerves either way. Really though, I'm against any characters having an "animal-ification" if they're not explicitly resembling an animal

I don't block people rly often tbh, I mostly block bots lol. I usually block people who are overly clingy, if anyone at all. That's as specific as I'm getting :P

Idk man, I don't actively seek out bad Discord servers

Ship FANS? Can't rly think of any, I tend to stay as far away from the shipping portion of any fandom as possible. I can think of SHIPS I hate, but not shipping fans

Noelle. I'm sorry y'all, I terribly dislike Noelle at this point ONLY because of how popular and adored she is. She takes attention away from TONS of other characters! That's not right. I kinda feel the same way about Spamton, but to a lesser extent

Spade King is a irredeemable character. I bet the ONLY reason people say this is because Deltarune isn't finished yet. I've said it before and I'll say it again, other characters have done FAR worse things and are still treasured characters. There is hardly ANY basis behind this opinion

I think the fact that I can't think of anything to say here after a few minutes proves there's not a lot I dislike about canon, at least when it comes to Deltarune which is what I'm basing my answers on

Does the over-popularity of maybe 3 specific characters at any time count here? Because if it does this is my answer 100%, I HATE THIS TREND

Had to look in my settings for this one lol, I'll list all my Deltarune-related filters: #lancer rpg (<- may seem weird but people who post here don't talk about the Deltarune Lancer at all), #noelle, #noelle holiday, #queen deltarune, & #spamvil. I'm considering getting rid of the "#queen deltarune" tag since this was added when I wasn't keen on Queen, whereas Idrc much about her now

Uh, SPADE KING? HELLO? Who else should I put here, Lancer? Yeah it's these two again, don't be surprised. I would say more but I think most who see this get my points already

Uhhhhh I have literally no idea, I don't follow blorbo stuff too closely

I admittedly don't read a lot of fanfic so I don't know what to put here either  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

See number 3, alternatively I also see a smaller trend of people having Spade King & Lancer be thinner than they canonically are which I also disagree with

Headcannoning Lancer as being too old or too young. Imo, 6 or younger is too young, while anything above 12 is really pushing it. I even think 12 is pushing it a bit, but I can accept it

PEOPLE WHO DRAW LANCER & SPADE KING HOW THEY ARE CANONICALLY. Yeah I know I keep bringing this up, but this is one of my largest issues with both characters, ESPECIALLY Lancer

Dare I mention Spade King & Lancer again? Yeah I'll just stop here

Idk, Spamton maybe? I was against his character for so long because he was SOOO popular (still is lol that hasn't changed about him), but it does kinda irk me that I like him a decent amount now. My opinion of him has definitely gone down since I last ranked him, but still. I guess I was worn down or something again Idk :P

Idk man

Oh boy, I think I'm gonna have to say Suselle. This is LARGELY due to me generally not giving a literal damn about ships, canonical or not. And it definitely seems like Suselle is--or at least will later be--canon. Sorry ship lovers, I don't see eye-to-eye with you on this one

Not my fav part of canon, but the fact that Lancer is CANONICALLY PART OF THE FUN GANG. HOW DO PEOPLE MISS THIS. HOW DO PEOPLE FORGET TO ADD LANCER TO FUN GANG FANART SO MANY FREAKING TIMES. DO Y'ALL HAVE DEMENTIA AND FORGOT LANCER WAS THERE OR NOT?

Literally none. The only ship I can possibly think of is Queen x Rouxls, but I spend 0 time thinking about this ship, plus I don't even know the official ship title for this. This is the ONLY SHIP I have SOME positivity for. I either outright despise or feel absolutely nothing for all other ships

People arguing about Spade King and whether he's a decent character or not. Admittedly I haven't seen too much arguing on this, partly because most people I know online either love his character or are neutral on him. But I imagine this topic would lead to all sorts of chaos

Don't really have anything to say here tbh

Ok I'm done now :P

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥

the character everyone gets wrong

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

worst discord server and why

which ship fans are the most annoying?

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

worst part of canon

worst part of fanon

number of fandom-related words you've filtered

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

worst blorboficiation

that one thing you see in fics all the time

that one thing you see in fanart all the time

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

there should be more of this type of fic/art

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

part of canon you found tedious or boring

part of canon you think is overhyped

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

ship you've unwillingly come around to

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

[inventedworld]

CAMERA VS CAMERA: HOW TO SEE

Everyone’s a photographer these days. You have a camera in your phone, and a surprisingly good one, too. You use it, naturally, to make photographs.  When you do, you’re a photographer.

Immediately this blog could be hijacked by the semantic police, pressing the case that just by giving someone a descriptive name does not automatically confer upon them matching abilities or rank. If you ask me to sing, you’ll likely rush to cover your ears. Then you’ll immediately agree that even if I were granted the title I’m not worthy of being called a singer. 

Suffice to say, I’m not entering that debate today. For our immediate purposes let’s just call everyone who uses a camera a photographer: one who makes photographs. 

I like my phone camera. It’s always with me, and I use it for snapshots and occasional selfies and travel photos to remind me of adventures both ordinary and extraordinary. It’s plenty capable of enabling me to capture an image without a lot of thought. It even enables me to experiment and try creative things quickly and easily. Why then would I ever use a big, heavy, and expensive camera when the sleek little thing in my pocket is often just fine?

I use a “real” camera instead of a phone camera for the following reasons.

1) It focuses my attention. With a phone camera I find myself relying on the gadget to make choices—lighting, focus, easily accessed pre-loaded settings—basic stuff that I would otherwise be forced to think through by using a single-purpose device. The intentionality demanded when I work with a dedicated camera encourages me to pursue an idea with greater probity or polish than I otherwise might with a point ’n shoot phone.

2) It only takes photos. It doesn’t text; it doesn’t help me buy sneakers; it doesn’t give me the DC metro schedule. Because a dedicated camera is only designed to make photographs, I’m less likely to be distracted by all of the other things popping up on my screen. It’s true that even when I use a “real” camera my cell phone doesn’t stop buzzing, chirping, vying for my attention, pestering me to poke its glowing screen, but at least it’s literally compartmentalized in my pocket from the image I’m trying to resolve in the viewfinder.

3) It forces me to think about technical things to achieve non-technical goals. While many dedicated cameras now have massive technological muscle, jacked up with extraordinary software and engineering smarts, I generally prefer to shoot in manual modes as much as possible when I use a dedicated camera.  That forces me to think about where I place my focus, where to place my feet relative to my subject, whether to use a polarizing filter or a long exposure or a tripod or any of a million other details. In so doing, I’m fully invested in the moment. 

Here’s the irony of all this: I really don’t care very much about what hardware I use. Sure, I like fancy camera gear, and yes, I can geek out with the geekiest. Ultimately, however, my geek gene only holds my interest for short stretches of time. What I really care about is what I see and what I can imagine. The technical processes to capture a photograph is only interesting insofar as it helps overcome the necessary friction of the act. Good tools are simply mechanisms to help me achieve something more important.

As a dichotomy, tools matter and tools don’t matter at the same time. Give a great photographer a cheap, disposable film camera you can still buy at the drug store (I love ‘em, actually) and you’re likely going to get something interesting. Give my neighbor a camera bag filled with expensive gear, and you’re going to get backlit cat photos on the windowsill…and a bag full of expensive gear. 

Which is why I’m ending where I began: the cell phone camera. Access to tools is always more vital than access to great tools. My neighbor might become a great photographer using just his cell phone. If he wants to, he can practice, practice, practice with it, learn all sorts of stuff, do all sorts of experiments. By diving in, he can discover how to make photographs that resonate, that communicate, that move people. He can become an artist with his cell phone camera—there are no limitations. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit  that there are already brilliant cell phone photographers in the world, easily capable of rivaling the best work from people who use all sorts of fancy stuff.

But maybe none of that is particularly interesting to him. Maybe the photographic goal in his soul is little more than selfies and snapshots and pictures of cats on windowsills…and that’s totally fine by me if that’s enough for him.  Not everyone can be, nor should be, an artist. 

Tools will confer limits, of course. Tools shape the work. Artists, conversely, operate the tools. While an artist with a mediocre tools may not be able to do everything he or she wants to do, an artist is not at all restricted from thinking creatively about what he or she can do with the tools at their disposal. Tools should serve the pursuits of ideas. They should not be the arbiters of what’s creatively possible. Whether we’re professional photographers or occasional snapshot-takers at the park, the moment we abdicate our creative choices to the dictates of our tools is the moment the ghost in the machine has taken over.

@michaelstarobin

facebook.com/1auglobalmedia

[behindthewox]

Did you know that there is a changelog?

If you've seen the recent announcement about it you probably know about it. Turns out that while I haven't been working very hard on making blog posts (it's a hobby after all), Dan and the Mugs have been working very hard to get things done. So now you know that there's a changelog. It's always been there, by the way, unnoticed by most but diligently reporting on changes and fixes that have been made over the years.

But did you know that there's a feedback forum?

It looks pretty abandoned when you first open it (if you can even find it) and it's not the most intuitive UI out there, but it exists. One of the main issues is that the posts featured are determined by the amount of upvotes, not by recent activity, and it's usually posts that are several years old which makes it look long abandoned at first glance.

If you can figure out how to navigate around the feedback forum you'll mostly see signs of abandonment, some more obvious than others. Looking at the the "active topics", meaning feedback that has been flagged as planned, under review or started, there are posts that are still flagged as under review despite already being implemented. It's a bit out of date to say the least.

Then there are the 900-and-more submissions that are not flagged/categorised by an admin. Again, the posts are automatically listed by most upvotes and the first posts you see are several years old which makes it look like no one's been there in years. You can almost feel the dust in your throat. But if you figure out the filters, you'll find that it is actually still in use! Sort of. It doesn't look very well moderated, and it could definitely use some tidying up to sort out the relevant posts from the all the posts that doesn't belong there in the first place. But people are submitting feedback despite the strange feeling of a long abandoned web forum. The question is if anyone actually reads it...

Constructive feedback

If you ask me (no one's asking me, but let me dream) the feedback forum needs a makeover. It's a tricky project since you either have to discard all the old stuff and just start over from scratch, or you need to invest a lot of time and effort into cleaning up the forum that already exists. A lot of the posts in the current forum can probably be dismissed but there are valuable suggestions there too. Not to mention, it's valuable to show that feedback has been submitted over the years and many of the suggestions have been implemented.

The navigation also needs to be addressed, because right now it's far from obvious how to get anywhere within the forum. I'm somewhat familiar with the feedback forum and I still struggle on the rare occasion that I open it.

Just like with any forum, the feedback forum needs to be moderated. If there are moderators for it, they're not doing a very good job. It should be checked regularly, once a week is probably enough, and as many posts as possible should be flagged/categorised to mark if they're active or not. Responding to submissions could also be worthwhile, showing an interest in what people have to say. You'll need an empathic communicator for this since a lot of it will be dismissing ideas which is discouraging for many, so keep that in mind.

Instructions and guidelines could prove useful. There's a short text box on top of the page which is currently just a welcome message. This is a good place to also include some instructions and/or guidelines. There's already one "rule" mentioned there, to write in English. Why not expand on that? Instructions to check if someone else has already made the suggestion, recommend using keywords, explain that the forum is for all WoX sites and issues that regard individual sites ought to be taken to the site leaders instead.

If people have more ideas, please write in the comments! Or in the feedback forum I guess, but if valuable feedback is submitted and there's no around to read it, is it still valuable feedback?

[everydayairwaves]

It’s only -12 degrees (f) this morning here in Missoula. The wind and all its associated advisories have moved southeast to Butte. Now the present-day residents of The Richest Hill on Earth are getting a taste of the -45-degree bursts of arctic air that has been ripping through and shutting down everything around here except the operations of Missoula County Public Schools. For the first time since Thursday, the air here has gone still.

Sunday morning brings solace as the house we bought just a year and a half ago is now largely iced over. Ice shatters and cracks into pieces as I force the sliding glass door open to let Seeley, the dog, out. On the other side of the house, ice and frost an inch thick cover the storm door leading to the front yard.

Twice now I’ve taken the time to scrape up the frost accumulating on the floor in front of the saddle threshold. The windows, both inside and out, are lined with beautifully white fluffy frost as if they’ve been prepared by a set designer for a new Disney winter wonderland movie. Condensation stands no chance. Check the box alongside ‘grateful’ to be in my small but airtight, warm, and draft-free newly-remodeled home, shielded from this violent arctic air event by sheetrock and 2x4s.

It’s a little after 7 AM now and I can’t go back to sleep. I awoke with the same pinch of slight anxiety I kicked back at throughout the full duration of my attempt at sleep. The two mezcal palomas probably helped with that. I’ve got far too many tasks to accomplish at this point, so I’ve taken up the mantra, ‘One day at a time’. This keeps the proverbial lid on the otherwise screaming flame of stress I have been somehow unintentionally maintaining despite efforts to dampen it for some time now. Maybe I’ll dive into some self-help literature on being a better me or whatever. Probably not.

For years, I’ve been the sole engineer responsible for a cluster of commercial FM transmitters and a couple of translators. The HD chain used to be my biggest enemy. I spent enough time with it to correct the time alignment and ultimately spent $70,000 to all out-replace the first-generation equipment I had been keeping alive despite its whopping efficiency factor of ~42%. At just under 7kW, that’s a lot of heat just to reach ERP.

Day by day, hour by hour I keep my phone ringer set on high and watch for automated telemetry alerts which come through to me via email and text from the transmission equipment. If things are really bad, a haunting robot voice will call me and tell me what has gone wrong. Even though I usually know what the issue could be, I like to listen to her all the way through before I hang up. Her voice is akin to the robots who would read the Harvard Sentences on the old telco test line which has sadly been decommissioned. I’ve been on call 24/7 since I was in my mid 20’s and this morning is no different. Having turned 30 in August, I’m finding more value in overseeing and modifying practices to suit the future instead of being a busy ‘worker bee’.

Priority 1 is to remotely log into the Master Control server where I can then access all of the transmitters. The big worry with weather like this is ice. With enough ice on your master antenna array, the transmission line will carry more reflected power back down the pressurized coax and into the $100,000+ Shively branch combiner. At best, this could eventually damage the filters. At worst, this could lead to a fire in the building or the melting of the coax. And if that Shively combiner was 100k in 2004/2005, is there really a difference at all between best and worst? The new transmitters all have automatic foldback in the event of high reflected power or, ‘SWR’ (standing-wave-ratio). So, the likelihood of disaster isn’t necessarily ever-present.

Even still, this stuff was, and still is in some ways, state of the art. So, if there is high reflected power coming back into the transmitters, that means Ice, which means a delicate dance of lowering forward power, FCC regulation, and yet somehow melting ice off the antennas. Essentially, a living room prayer.

Except for one older but seemingly bulletproof model, the Crown FM500, I’m fortunate to have top-notch transmitters to maintain. I’ve personally taken up replacing every transmitter at the site since I became Chief Operator in 2014, and then Chief Engineer in 2020. The Nautel VS1 transmitters, all 1kW models, have outstandingly gorgeous GUIs from which you can take in a plethora of technical data and real-time readings. I don’t know how to interpret some of the scopes.

This transmitter site was expertly designed and built in 2004 or 2005, that’s an entirely separate blog series. I have such immense pride — with a soul-protruding responsibility to maintain and carry this broadcast facility and its iconic call signs (if only to some) into the future.

The VS1s are running beautifully, forward power of 997W with 6 watts reflected on one station. This model has built-in Orban processing which, one of my great mentors, who is truly an icon in the field of broadcast, SWEARS is far superior to Omnia in delivering sonic clarity, punch, and presence on the FM dial. Some days I agree with him, most days I don’t. Who knows? Maybe my ears are the wrong shape to assess broadcast processing.

The other VS1 is running slightly more efficiently at exactly 1000 watts forward with ZERO watts reflected. This transmitter serves as the flagship call sign. The big stick. The format stands proudly somewhere between the AAA of the early 2000’s and freeform. Legend has it that the call sign reflects its creator’s initials. True? I don’t know. However, I’d be surprised if this lore weren’t true. So, of course, this transmission line is ‘perfectly matched’ as this is a technical achievement & standard every broadcast engineer strives for but is very difficult to achieve. Par for the course at this facility and on this call sign in particular.

The environment is a big thing to watch and actively maintain. I click and type into the various sensors and remote I/O boxes to see that everything is right in the sweet spot, around 72 Degrees. For temperature control, I have four WiFi-enabled GE window AC units mounted right into the wall of the building. From an app on my MacBook or iPhone, I log in every day or two and rotate the duty cycle so they don’t burn out. They’ve been running around the clock nonstop since 2020.

Moving onward, I log into the Gatesair FAX 7.5 FM+HD and hold my breath while the GUI loads up. To my absolute surprise, it’s running at full power without any errors or problems. This has not been the typical operating parameter of this device since I got it. I’m pleased. I feel the worry of this dangerously frigid Sunday morning melt away.

I have a frequency agile standby transmitter connected to a broadband antenna setup as a backup or AUX. Once a month or so during the cold winter months, I turn it on and run it for a day or two just to make sure it doesn’t ice up. Wouldn’t that be great? Lord, deliver me from the day I need my backup antenna but find my backup plan frozen over like a Stouffer’s lasagna.

The sun has come up now. I nudge the curtain and peer outside, Seeley is ready for breakfast while her dog sister, Bella, is still sleeping in the bedroom.

Radio. Is it working? I certainly am.