#and i am uninterested in people who want to turn her into a punching bag

[dowagergreen]

saying this as nicely as possible but if your only opinion about alicent is that she's some kind of manipulative bitch and you're going to project that onto ic interactions, this really is not the blog for you. there's nowhere for us to go because i'm not going to spend all of my writing time fighting off everyone's frustrations and misconceptions and sometimes just flat out wildly inaccurate characterizations of her. i don't mind writing confrontations and i understand she makes some controversial choices but if every single interaction is going to be some venting session for personal frustrations, i'm going to just drop the threads, full transparency

[anonymousfiction211]

(reader is from asgard) After Loki faked his death, he transforms into the smallest creature and watches over the avengers tower only to see his childhood only friend and crush fall in depression. The others try to help but her anger is so much for her that she almost destroys everything with the powers she didn't knew she had. She admits to them how much she loved him and only then he realizes. I can't think of an ending. Also, sorry if this is too specific!

Word count: 2.026 words A/N: This story is set between Loki’s fake death in Thor 2 and the end of the movie. Hope you like it! Warning: Angst

Watching over you You were stirring in your sleep again. Something you did often lately. From behind your closed eyes tears started to flow over your cheeks, wetting the pillow underneath you. Right now, Loki wanted nothing more than to wake you and hold you close to him, hoping to comfort you. Tell you that everything is going to be okay. But he couldn’t do any of that. He was dead, or at least that is what everyone thinks. Plus, he had to change back to himself, and he couldn’t risk that either. It was safer to stay in this form. He wasn’t even supposed to be here, he should be in Asgard, planning the best moment to strike against Odin. But he couldn’t help himself, he had to see how you were doing. Even with dark circles under your eyes and in lazy/comfortable clothes, you still were beautiful to him. Something he would have told you, he wanted to tell you for so long, but every time you looked at him his tongue had failed him. You finally fell back in a peaceful slumber. Loki decided he would stay for one more night and then get to work. He flew to the ceiling above you, looked one more time at you sleeping form, before falling asleep himself.

Next morning

The sun was already shining brightly trough the windows. Loki had been watching you all morning. You hadn’t bothered setting an alarm clock, and when you woke up you grunted and turned around. There was a knock on the door.“(Y/N), time to get out of bed!” Natasha said. When you didn’t respond she entered the bedroom. It was her day today. You didn’t know it, you hadn’t even noticed a pattern. But some of the Avengers divided days among them to look after you. They were worried about the state you were in. Barely coming out of your room, not eating, not showering, and not wanting to talk about it. Not everyone agreed to it, however. Since not all people could understand that it was losing him what was causing you to act this way. To be honest, Loki never anticipated that you would be this much affected by his death. The two of you were friends since you were kids. You were one of the few people that somehow got him to open up. It didn’t take long to develop a crush on you, but he wasn’t the only one. A lot of guys in Asgard had, how could they not? You were beautiful, kind, patient, and the way you laughed sounded like Valhalla itself. Even tough you had a lot of friends, you always made time for him. You truly were the kindest person he had ever met.

Loki’s thoughts were interrupted when he heard you yell. “Just leave me alone!” He was shocked. In all the time that he’d known you, he never heard you yell. You never even raised your voice. Always staying calm, because no matter how angry you were ‘raising your voice was a sign for people that you weren’t in control of yourself anymore’ you once said to him. Natasha somehow got you to agree to get out of bed. The Widow is rather good in manipulation, Loki had to admit. “Once you’re ready, meet me in the training room. Oh, and don’t forget to open a window. You’re starting to attract flies.” Natasha said while she was leaving your room. You turned around and were staring at the fly on your ceiling for a few minutes. Loki thought you were about to cry again, but you held back your tears and got out of bed. If only you knew it was him on the ceiling.

Once you were gone, Loki in his fly-form, buzzed towards the training room too. Settling on the top of a punching bag, giving him an excellent view over the whole room. Your training with Natasha was hilarious to watch. He loved to watch you kick someone’s ass, and as a trained warrior Natasha didn’t stand much of a chance. Tough she held up against you longer than Loki would have guessed. “So, are you liking Earth, or ehm.. Midgard as you say it, so far?” Natasha asked you. “It’s fine” you replied rather uninterested in engaging in a conversation. “Thor hoped bringing you here would distract you a bit. Is it working?” Natasha went on. “Look, I get what you all are trying to do. And it’s not that I’m ungrateful, but I just want to be alone right now” you replied while making your way to the exit. “(Y/N), we can help you” Natasha tried one last time. When you turned back Loki saw different emotions on your face. It went quickly, but he noticed the sad expression with tears forming in your eyes. You blinked to vanish the tears, and your expression changed from sad to angry, and he swore that in between he saw regret. Why regret? Regret for what? he wondered. “Stop, just stop okay. You all hated him, so don’t for a second pretend that you even care” you spat back, angrily slamming the door on your way out.

The rest of the afternoon, you got your wish. Nobody bothered to see how you were doing or to get you out of bed again. This angered Loki much, but then again it was his fault you were feeling this way. While you were crying, Loki was lost in thought again. He should, he really should go back to Asgard after today. But how could he, knowing you were hurting. He couldn’t leave you like this, but he also couldn’t bare to watch it for much longer. If he knew how much his death would affect you, he would have thought of another plan to avoid going back to his cell. Even when he was locked up, you visited him often. You weren’t angry with him, just glad he was still alive. To his surprise you got guards to agree to let you into his cell. Playing games, reading, and laughing together. He thought he would never see you again after his failed attempt to rule Midgard. Even tough he never truly wanted to rule Midgard, but had to fulfil his assignment, and saw no way of escaping his faith. That was something he couldn’t tell people. He had almost told you, the first time you visited. He really wanted to, he couldn’t stand the thought of you thinking of him like everybody else did. But he was struggling with the words and then the guards came to tell the two of you, that the visiting time was over. Before you left his cell you gave him a kiss on his cheek. “When you’re ready to tell me, I’ll be there” you had whispered. That kiss on his cheek was the best moment of his life.  

In the end of the afternoon the Soldier had entered your room. He convinced you to get out of bed and took you to the living room. Loki, of course, flying right behind the two of you. Most of the team was already sitting in the living room. Thor was still on Asgard, and Loki noticed that Tony and Clint were also missing. You sat down, staring at the floor. “(Y/N), we really think you should get some professional help. We are getting worried about you” Steve began this little intervention. He was getting on and on about mental health, grief, and your sudden anger outbursts. If Loki were able in this form he would have rolled his eyes at the boring lecture. Before you got a chance to reply that door of the living room burst open. A very intoxicated Tony walked through them, going straight to the bar to pour himself another drink. I should have killed that men when I had the chance Loki thought.

Steve cleared his throat “Do you mind?” he said, clearly irritated by Tony’s behaviour. “Come on, is she still moping around because he’s dead” You looked up and gave Tony a murderous look. “Tony, stay out of this” Natasha warned him. Instead of taking her warning, Tony walked towards the group. “Come on, we all know the world is a better place without him” he continued. You stood up from your chair, balling your fists. “It’s not. Now, shut up” you yelled. “He was arrogant, egotistic, a murderer and just evil” Tony said while raising his voice. “Why would you even miss him? Why would anyone even care?” The anger was flaring through your eyes. At this point you were screaming. “He was not perfect, but who is?! He was kind, funny and incredibly smart. And given what he had to deal with in his life he is a better man than you ever could be!” You fell back in your chair, and noticed the tears falling from your face.

There was a long silence. Then Natasha broke it “You were in love with him” she said. Everyone looked at you. Loki began to grow very nervous and was holding his breath, waiting for you to react. “I am” you whispered. “Did he know?” she asked. “I- eh, no… Right before he and Thor would leave I wanted to tell him. But I got scared and decided to tell him afterwards.. and now..” you cried. “Maybe if I had, he would have stayed, or things would be different” you went on. Loki couldn’t believe what he was hearing. You were in love with HIM? Why? How long? And why hadn’t he noticed or told you that he felt the same way? He really was the stupidest man alive right now. Wait, what? You’re blaming yourself for his death?

“How could anyone ever love that monster?” Tony said. Before Loki could keep track of his thoughts you were on your feet. A sudden energy blast flew across the room, knocking Tony to the wall, he was laying unconsciousness on the ground. Everyone, including you and Loki, were in complete shock. Bruce went to Tony and confirmed that he was okay. “You have powers?” Steve asked. You were standing in pure shock, staring at your hands. Loki was also in shock, he recognized that kind of magic. It was the same as his. All this time he’d known you, he never sensed that you had magic. How could he never have known all these things about you? How could he have been so stupid? So blind? You ran towards your room and Loki flew as fast as he could. Maybe he should reveal himself, after all the only other known person for her magic was his mother. But she wasn’t alive anymore. He was, he could teach you everything he knows. Before he had a chance to decide the Soldier walked in your room.

“(Y/N), are you okay?” he asked. Stupid question, she thinks the person she loves is dead, she just discovered she has magic, a underappreciated trait from where she’s from and is currently crying Loki thought. After your stopped crying you finally spoke up. “How’s Tony doing?” you asked meekly. Loki couldn’t believe that you would even consider his wellbeing, but also loved you for it. “He will be fine, he had it coming. He is an ass when he is that drunk” Steve said. “Thor comes in next week, and we will figure something out. Maybe he knows someone who can teach you” he went on. “Do you guys want me to go back to Asgard?” you asked. Steve gave you a reassuring smile “You’re welcome for as long as you like” he said. You started to cry again, and he put his arms around you, holding you close. Loki felt jealousy stirring inside him. He wanted to be the one who could hold you in his arms. Not being able to watch anymore he flew away. He had work to do. He had a throne to conquer and think how he was going to make up for everything he is putting you through. He couldn’t wait to have you rule by his side. His queen.

[bnhabadass]

Pairing: Hawks x Reader Warnings: N/A Genre: Fluff Word Count: 4.5k Synopsis: You're surprised when your best friend tells you she's dating pro hero Hawks. As you get to know him throughout his frequent visits to the tea shop you work at, your uncertain despisal of him may just turn into romance. 

When your best friend told you that she was dating the number two hero you laughed in her face. “It’s true!” she pleaded. Her eyes gleamed against the hanging lights in your kitchen. She looked as if she were a lovestruck middle schooler doodling hearts and writing her initials in the margins of her notepad. But you knew her like the back of your hand and you were well aware of her habit of compulsive lying.

You spent the following week teasing her relentlessly for making up such an outlandish lie. Yui Nakamura, your best friend in the world. She was an up-and-coming actress who claimed that she was slowly taking Japan by storm.

“I guess I just caught the number two hero’s heart from my last film,” she told you. It was all she could talk about for a solid week, leaving you rolling your eyes and sticking your tongue out in a fake gagging motion every time his name was brought up.

It wasn’t until she brought him into your place of work that you finally realized she was telling the truth. The small jingle bells tied to the doorknob of the shop rang as you were crouched behind the counter, sorting loose tea leaves into their respective jars.

“This is my favorite place to get an iced tea in this hot weather,” her sickeningly sweet voice cooed.

Your ears perked up. Grabbing one of the jars of tea leaves, you stood up with a big smile on your face, ready to greet your friend. That smile, however, didn’t last long. Instead it was replaced with a punch in your gut and a ringing in your ears as you saw the person standing in front of you holding hands with your best friend was the number two hero in Japan.

You should have known something was off when the few people sitting in the leather chairs and at the counter looking out into the street had gone silent. Everyone’s jaws were slack in amazement at the hero before their eyes. A few people whispered about how much more handsome he looked up close or how they didn’t realize how vibrant his wings actually were.

The only person who didn’t look shocked or happy that he was there was the number two hero himself.

“(Y/n)!” Yui exclaimed. “How’ve you been?”

“Um, good,” you managed to choke out. Your eyes never left the winged hero.

“I see you’ve noticed my boyfriend,” she giggled. Her happy-go-lucky smile never left her face. It seemed as though her biggest wish had come true. It’s no secret that she had been pining after the hero for years, playing back footage of his rescues and showing them to you over and over again. She would always cover her eyes when watching his fights because she “couldn’t bare to see his beautiful face get hurt” and you would have to tell her when the scary parts were over.

“Hawks,” you spat out.

His golden eyes dug daggers into you. “Yes?” His tone was uninterested and very clearly bored. It left a sour taste in your mouth.

“I, um, well I, ya know, I didn’t–”

Yui cut off your stumbling with a fluttering laugh, the kind of laugh they romanticize in a shoujo manga. “(Y/n)-chan didn’t believe me when I told her you were my boyfriend,” she said in a sing-song voice. “Now come on, Hawky, what do you want?”

Hawks visibly cringed at the nickname she had given him. Hawky, like the sport but spelled like the bird. Even you could admit that it was pretty bad.

“I think I’ll have the iced hibiscus tea,” she said. Her hands fumbled for her wallet.

“I’ll take a small sencha.” You never expected the winged hero to drink tea. It seemed so unlike him. He seemed much more of a coffee kind of person, needing the extra energy to fulfill his hectic life.

“All right, your total is 540¥,” you said. As you brewed their tea, you couldn’t help but keep an eye on Hawks and the little things about him. Sure he was attractive, but was that really enough to satisfy your friend? He didn’t seem very interested in her as she tugged on his sleeve like a little kid clinging to their parents.

As you called their names with their orders in hand, you were surprised when neither of them went to grab their drinks. Instead, Hawks sent two of his feathers to grab them out of your hands. They were so delicate yet so strong.

Yui smiled as the feather fluttered around her before presenting her drink in front of her.

“Let’s go,” Hawks said, still with a look of boredom plastered to his face, but maybe there was more to him than you thought.

You got to know Hawks a little more during the next few months. It’s true that when you first met him he was not your cup of tea. He and Yui would come into the shop and as Yui chatted your ear off about all the sweet nothings he would tell her, Hawks always seemed to zone out or lose interest in the conversation relatively fast. From the outside it looked like he didn’t care about her and that made your blood boil. But there had to be more to it, right? You’re sure that Yui wouldn’t bother with someone who didn’t seem to care about her.

It was at the end of summer when Yui told you the exciting news. She was cast as a major role in a new film and would be flown to Yakushima Island for the shoot. As she told you the good news, her smile never faltered. It was as if all her dreams were coming true and the different pieces of her life were being put together like a puzzle.

“I’m really happy for you,” you said while pouring hot water over a tea bag with oolong in it. “I can’t wait to see the film when it’s released.”

“I can’t wait for you to see it too! It’s going to be rough being away from Hawky for so long but I think we’ll both manage.”

You turned around before she could see you rolling your eyes at the ludacris nickname. You’re not sure how it managed to stick throughout the months, and every time you hear the words pass her lips it triggers a shudder to run through you. “When do you leave?”

“Next week. You have no idea how excited I am, (Y/n).”

You were happy for her, you really were. Yet part of you felt like you were being left behind, stuck in the mud. While she had her handsome top pro hero of a boyfriend, you spent your nights alone and as she went off to chase her dreams of being one of the most famous actresses in Japan, you were still pouring hot water over tea leaves as you have been for the past two years. It didn’t seem fair, but you would never let her know that.

The next week went by quicker than you had hoped and Yui was off to the airport. She, of course, stopped by for one last cup of tea before she left.

Once she was gone the leaves began to change. Red, orange and yellow leaves fluttered through the air onto the ground and gusts of wind would push them across town, occasionally dropping them off in front of the tea shop’s door.

This time of year was always your favorite. The smell of cinnamon and spice floating through every tea, pastry and coffee shop always made you smile in delight. A new shipment of pumpkin tea had just arrived and you couldn’t resist ducking down to stick your nose in the box and smell the leaves through their packaging under the counter.

The homey smell ravished your senses. Your mind was instantly filled with wonderful fall memories. Jumping in piles of leaves as a kid, drinking hot tea by the window and watching the rain outside trickle down the gutter of your childhood home. Carving pumpkins and dressing up in inappropriate halloween costumes back in your college days. It all came back.

“Do I even want to know what you’re doing?”

The all too familiar voice of Hawks startled you, and as you leapt up out of shock, you hit your head on the counter top. “Ow,” you croaked. Reaching for the fridge next to one of the display cases of teas, you grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and placed it on your head. “Hi.”

“Hello to you too.” There was a cocky grin on his face, unlike what you’ve seen of him before.

“Yui’s out of town.” Why was he here? There was no reason for him to be if his girlfriend was gone. Since he started showing up with Yui, the shop had gotten much more traction. More people had shown up asking when the pro hero was coming next or which seat he sat in. You were sick of it all.

“I know. Doesn’t mean I can’t get a cup of my favorite tea from my favorite barista.” His cheeky smile grew and you beat yourself up for blushing at him compliment.

“What’ll it be then? A small sencha?” You grabbed one of the small to-go cups in preparation.

“Nah let’s switch it up a bit.” He eyed the list of teas up and down, ogling the glass containers with delicate tea bags placed inside. “What box were you sticking your nose in just now?”

You looked down at your feet in shame, cheeks heating up at the memory. You had hoped he would forget about what he just saw or at least wouldn’t mention it out of pity for you. “Pumpkin tea. It’s a new shipment that just came in.”

“Huh,” he pondered. “Is it good?”

Your head shot up. “Seriously? You’ve never had pumpkin tea before?”

“Nah the commission doesn’t really like it when I eat or drink things that aren’t in my diet.” He wove his hand through his blonde locks, pushing them back out of his face. “They’ve been a bit more chill about things since I started dating Nakamura, but I’m still on a pretty strict food regiment.”

The fact that he referred to your best friend by her last name almost made your heart ache. For how much she doted on him he barely seemed to care. “That sucks,” you said. “Do you want to try it?”

He chuckled a bit. “Yeah, let’s give it a whirl.”

You heated the water and poured it out in a hot stream over the tea bag. “Here you go. That’ll be 280¥.”

He slid the coins over to you and held the piping hot to-go cup up to his nose, breathing in the heat and letting it run through him. A soft smile overcame his features and he pressed the cup to his lips, letting the brew hit his tongue. His eyes shot open. “Wow. That’s incredible.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Isn’t it really good?”

“It is!” He smiled up at you and you couldn’t help but drink in every detail of it. It was a happy and relaxed smile, one that a child would give after tasting candy for the first time. His eyes grew brighter than the sun as the tea coated his taste buds and pulled him into euphoria.

“Um, excuse me?” a small voice croaked from behind Hawks.

He moved to the side, revealing a small young woman holding hands with a little boy. He was chewing on an action figure and as he pulled the head out of his mouth you could see the bright flames of Endeavor coated in a layer of thick saliva.

“Hey there,” Hawks said. “I’m sorry, do you need to order?”

“No no no!” The rosey cheeks of the young woman deepened as chills of embarrassment filled her. “My son here is a really big fan and, well, we were hoping we could get an autograph.”

You weren’t sure how something like this would play out. You’ve seen the stares and the hushed whispers people give when watching Hawks and Yui in the shop. They almost look too scared to approach him, yet this flustered woman came out of nowhere.

“Yeah of course!” Hawks’ cheeky smile widened. He squatted so he was eye level with the boy. “What’s your name, little guy?”

The kid slid behind his mother’s hip, unsure of what to do or say.

“I see you like Endeavor. You have good taste. He’s one of my favorite heroes too.”

You watched in awe, jaw slack as if you had been slapped in the face, as you watched Hawks laugh and ruffle the kid’s hair. He signed a notebook that the kid’s mother gave him and just as he was about to say goodbye, the kid shot his arms up in Hawks’ direction. You could feel yourself melt on the spot as he picked up the giggling boy, spinning him around. It was so unlike him to do that, but at the same time it was everything you had ever imagined in the stories that Yui would tell.

That was the first time that you realized you were beginning to fall for your best friend’s boyfriend, and after that nothing would be the same.

Hawks came in and out of the shop more and more frequently, only now ordering a small pumpkin tea. As the days went by, the weather grew colder. Chilly winds howled past the store and jingled the chimes out front.

Hawks sauntered in, giving you the grin and nod he was now accustomed to.

“Small pumpkin?” you asked, gripping your scarf and holding it closer around your neck.

“You know it,” he winked.

You hated how every time he walked up to the counter your breath would hitch and your heart would skip a beat. The little wink he gave you definitely didn’t go unnoticed by you. You hid the flushed feeling by burying your face up to the tip of your nose in your scarf.

“So what’s been going on in tea land?” he asked. His fingers danced across the display of cup sizes and tea cakes to the side of the register. They stopped, resting on the side of the jar labeled “TIPS” in a fat black marker over bright colorful construction paper.

“Same old,” you replied. “How’s hero work?”

“Same old.” The two of you had grown comfortable with minimal conversation, almost finding it endearing that the two of you could communicate so much with so few words.

“And Yui?”

Hawks took a moment before answering. You looked up from the tea you were preparing but averted your eyes the second you realized he was staring at you. “I’m thinking of breaking up with her.”

You couldn’t pay attention to what he said next. All you could hear was the ringing in your ears at hearing his words. He was breaking up with her. The recent nights you had spent fantasizing what it would be like to be the one held in his arms at night seemed more in your grasp. The thought scared you a little.

“Hey, are you listening?”

“Huh?” He snapped you out of your thoughts. “Sorry, I think I zoned out a little.” You could feel your face heating up. “Why are you breaking up with her?”

“It’s been about four months,” he said, still toying with the rim of the tip jar.

It bothered you a little how he kept looking at it. Either put in a tip or leave it alone, you wanted to yell at him.

“Four months,” he repeated as if he needed to double check. “That’s when our contract is up, at least.”

You were confused. What was he talking about? “What do you mean?” The skepticism on your face made you look like a puppy being taunted with a bone.

“Heh, you’re cute when you’re confused,” he said. “Our relationship,” he trailed off in thought, trying to find the right words. “It was never real, I guess. Never has been.”

As Hawks spoke about the contract the two of them were under, that her agent and the people working at the commission made them sign, your jaw became more and more unhinged.

“Why did they force you to date in the first place?” The shrill of your voice was hard to tame.

“Her agent knows my people well,” he admitted, referring to the commission. “And they thought this would be good for her publicity. They were right since it got her the big movie she’s working on, but they told us if nothing happens after four months we can end it.”

“I see.” You were still trying to put the pieces together in your mind. “So you never really loved her.”

He couldn’t help but bark out a laugh. “I thought that was pretty obvious,” he admitted. “Look, I know she’s your best friend and all but she’s kinda hard to be around and to get along with at times.”

Deep down you knew he was right, but hearing it come from someone that you knew Yui loved and trusted made your blood boil. What made you feel even worse was the growing hope within you that if Hawks didn’t like someone like her, he could possibly fall for someone like you.

He looked down at his phone to check the time. “Shit, I have training with my intern in ten minutes.” As you slid his drink towards him he fished into his wallet to pay. Taking out an extra bill, he folded it up and put it in the tip jar. “Promise me that when I break things off with her you’ll be there to comfort her?”

The question took you off guard but you nodded anyway.

He smiled a deep and genuine smile that showed so much more emotion than could be understood by the human brain. “Thanks. She’ll need a good friend like you to keep her company.” And with that, he dashed out the door quicker than your eyes could follow.

A week went by and you heard nothing. Hawks didn’t come into the shop to tell you how it went and Yui hadn’t texted you with any of her usual updates for how the movie was going. It wasn’t until you were locking up shop on a Friday night that you received a FaceTime request from Yui. You texted her, assuring her that once you got home you’d call her back. You knew that he did it and she needed to hear from you right now.

Snuggled into the plush fabric of the side-of-the-road sofa in the middle of your living room, you called her back. It only took one ring before she picked up. Her face was blotchy and red and the makeup she wore on set was streaking down her features.

“What happened?” you asked, fully aware of the situation.

She explained in detail everything that had happened, from the warm tea she was holding in her dressing room when he called her to break things off to the way his eyes shimmered with both sadness and relief as he told her what was on his mind.

You tried to reason with her as she blew her snotty nose into tissue after tissue. Phrases like “I’m sure he doesn’t hate you” and “You’re better than him anyway” often came up. Truth be told, you were only paying attention to her side of the story half the time. You slipped in and out, mind wandering over to where Hawks may be and how he must be doing.

“Maybe he had a reason for doing it,” you finally said once she had started to calm down.

“What?”

“Do you think he, I dunno, wasn’t happy?” You shrugged a bit. Your eyes traced the rhombus patterns on your carpet as they avoided Yui’s saddened expression. “Maybe he just wanted to be a free bird is all.”

You looked up from your carpet and came face to face with Yui’s eyes. Once doughy and glossed over with a thick layer of gelatinous tears, they now held a form of anger and hurt that you have never seen from her. “How could you say that?” she asked. “How could you even think of taking his side?”

“I’m not taking a side, I–”

“Yes you are!” Her face was turning red and as much as you wished to defend the man you had caught feelings for you also wanted to be there for Yui. “I don’t know how you could defend him right now, you guys aren’t even friends.”

Hearing her say that hit you deep in the chest. Of course she didn’t know how often Hawks had swung by the shop. Of course he wouldn’t tell her.

“You barely know him, (Y/n), so why are you defending him?”

Why were you defending him? Even with Yui out of the picture, there would still be a slim chance that Hawks actually felt the same way you did. He’s the number two hero, an icon in more ways than one. His fangirls pooled at his feet constantly. Why would you, just a simpleton working at a tea shop, have a chance with him?

“I can’t even talk to you right now.” She was looking down, refusing to make eye contact with you through the small screen.

“Yui, I–”

“No. Just,” she trailed off. “Call me when you know whose side you’re on.”

And with that she hung up and you were left alone. You felt terrible, like the worst friend in existence. You needed something to calm yourself down after the shitshow you had a feeling would be your last conversation with her for a long time.

Your shaky figure got up off the couch and went into the kitchen, putting up the water for a cup of tea. Your hands visibly calmed down once you gripped the hot mug with the pumpkin tea bag swirling inside.

“Hey baby bird.” As you walked into the living room, the person lounging on your sofa startled you. You let out a scream and the hot tea sloshed out of your mug and hit your chest, the thin material of your shirt and the knit sweater you dawned doing little to nothing to stop the burning sensation. “Ah shit.”

Hawks ran up to you and pressed the sleeve of his hero costume against your chest. “I’m sorry. Are you all right?”

The wince you gave him let him know his answer. “What are you doing here?” you managed to croak out once the heat subsided. “And how the hell do you know where I live?”

“Followed you home,” he said like it was nothing.

“So you stalked me.”

“I like to call it stealth training.” The grin on his face resembled a snarky cat and as pissed off and angry you were about him and Yui and everything, you couldn’t help letting out a laugh.

The aura between you two was both friendly and awkward. It seemed as though you both wanted to say something but didn’t know what. As Hawks kept rubbing his sleeve against your damp clothes, his eyes trailed over your face and tried reading into what you were thinking.

“I talked to Yui,” you finally let out. “She’s mad at me.”

“So I heard.” He stopped moving and rested his arm on your shoulder. “You deserve better friends.”

You looked away. “No. She does.”

He let out a laugh. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You, (Y/n), are kind, compassionate, care about your customers and you actually take time to listen to others. And I know Nakamura would say the same thing.”

Somehow the use of your friends last name didn’t bother you as much as it used to. What did cause you to blush was the sound of  Hawks saying your own name. The sound of it leaving his lips had an imprint on you like no other.

“And those,” he continued, “are some of the many reasons why I started to fall for you.”

You felt a sting in your cheeks as they grew hot from his words. He liked you? Did you hear that correctly? He fell for you? The same way you fell for him? The only thing you could think to do was let out a “huh?”

And Hawks let out a toe curling laugh. “I like you. Have liked you for a while now.”

You didn’t know what to say. You were so overwhelmed with emotion. All you could even think to do was stare at him with your mouth agape.

“Hello?” he waved his hand in your face. “Earth to (Y/n).”

You shook your head and the rest of your body, getting any jitters out. “Um, yeah.”

He barked out another laugh. “So, do you got something to say to me or are you gonna leave me hanging?”

You took a sharp inhale. “I think that I might also like you,” you said. “A bit.”

“Now was that so hard to say?” He took a step forward, raising a hand to cup your face. He wasn’t ready, however, when you stepped away, shielding yourself from him. “What’s wrong?”

“Yui is what’s wrong.”

It dawned on him how difficult and confused you must’ve been feeling, especially if you’ve liked him for as long as he’s had feelings for you. Yui Nakamura is your best friend so of course having feelings for her boyfriend, her ex boyfriend, would make you fall into a pit of despair.

“I’m sorry.” You turned away, walking back to your kitchen.

Even though you clearly wanted to be left alone, Hawks followed you and stayed in the door frame as you put up water for another cup of tea. “You remember when I caught you sniffing the heck out of that box of Pumpkin tea?”

You made a disgruntled noise of agony as you buried your head in your hands.

He chuckled. “That’s when I realized I had feelings for you. When did you know you had them for me?”

You sighed. “Look, Hawks. I really wish that things were different and that Yui wouldn’t be mad at me, but–”

“It’s a simple question, baby bird.” He reveled in the nickname.

Your eyes wandered over to the kettle and the soft heat that rose from the stove. “I think it was when I saw you give that kid and his mom and autograph and, I don’t know, you’re just...really good with kids is all.”

“Is that really all?” His cocky smirk struck you and you couldn’t help but hit him playfully.

“Shut up, asshole.” The kettle went off and you grabbed two mugs, placing pumpkin tea bags in each. “I like you, but I love Yui.”

“So I’m assuming that it would be inappropriate for me to kiss you right now?”

You handed him one of the now full mugs, your face lowered to hide your subtle embarrassment. “You are correct.” The two of you stood there in the middle of your cramped kitchen, neither darring to take a sip. “But,” you started. “We can maybe cuddle on the couch a bit and talk, if that’s something you want.”

His golden eyes brightened. “Yeah, baby bird. I’d like that.”

[kasha-formerlydrabbletastic]

Ranking

Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 1,967

Warnings: Food mention. Possible secondhand embarrassment trigger.

Author’s Note: Fluffy stuff. 

You had never been one for rag mags - celebrity gossip is simply uninteresting at best and horribly cruel at worst - but the bold headline this week on People Magazine catches your eye as you absentmindedly place your groceries on the belt at the supermarket. 

“Seriously?” you mutter incredulously, your fingers wrapped around a bottle of orange juice. 

Is it worthy of a chuckle? Should you keep moving, pretend you didn’t see it? Or... and you can’t believe this thought has even occurred to you... would it be worth the six bucks to bring it back to the compound and share with the rest of the team? The options occupy too much of your brain space as the cashier tells your total, distracting you from the inane tug-of-war in your head. 

“How much?” you say, shaking away the silly predicament for a moment. 

The cashier, hardly older than 16 it seems, points at the screen instead of answering. Before you pay, however, you glance back at the magazine, finally coming to a decision. 

--

The magazine slaps the counter top, its glossy front page gleaming as you unload the rest of the groceries; it gets lost in the vegetables and fruits, the cereals, the junk food... and for a while you forget it.

"Back with the grub, eh, Y/N?" Tony says, swiping up a bag of Doritos and popping it open. "I gotta say, you've done shopping trips quicker than that."

You laugh, gathering all the reusable bags into one and putting them away and say, "Maybe you should don your supersuit and fly over all the New York City traffic if you want it quicker.”

"I believe that would be an unnecessary trip," Bruce mentions from the kitchen table, sipping his tea. 

“Hey, I offered to send someone out to do it,” he replies. “You insisted on doing it yourself, remember? If I recall correctly,” he continues, feigning concentration as he puts on a teasing mocking tone, “you said that you didn’t want to let the fact that you’re an Avenger now make you too... what was the word.... bougie.”

“At least one of us needs to be grounded, Tony.”

Your gaze shifts to Steve as he passes, a subtle smile on his face when he meets your eye; your tummy flutters, having nothing to do with the hunger pang you’re feeling and everything to do with the way Steve’s eyes sparkle in the soothing lighting of the kitchen. You smile back, hoping the burn in your cheeks is obvious to no one but yourself. 

One by one, the team trickles into the kitchen, looking for a lazy Sunday lunch or ingredients for a post-workout smoothie. Your voices mingle together, a pleasant hum in the early afternoon of a rare mission-free, drama-free weekend. 

Or so you thought. 

"I'm not number one?!"

The incredulous shout draws every eye in the room; Tony sits on the counter, eyes wide as he stares into the open magazine in his hand. You giggle, turning back to your lunch, relieved to know you don't have to live with his over-inflated ego for the next century.

"What are you on about?” Thor says, looking up almost mid-bite. 

“This,” Tony replies, shaking the magazine; he flips through the pages, apparently intent on finding his ranking. “It’s the Top 10 Sexiest Male Superheroes, and I’m... not even second... I’m... how am I fifth?”

At this point, you bite your knuckle to keep from bursting aloud with laughter. You lock eyes with Steve, who mirrors your amusement.

“Lang is ahead of me? Are you serious? He’s a goddamn ant! An actual bug!”

“Who’s number one?” Natasha inquires after swallowing a bite of her sandwich.

Tony looks up, annoyed or crestfallen, you can’t tell. 

“Thor, of course,” he answers with a shrug. “Can’t beat a demigod, I guess.”

Thor jumps up from his chair, his arms raised in victory, Clint giving him a congratulatory high five. The kitchen descends into loud chatter, and after many demands to know the full list, Tony gives the magazine up to Natasha, who reads off the ranking. 

“Cap,” she says with a nod to him. “Good job, you’re second.”

“What?” he laughs; if you didn’t know any better, you’d swear it was humility that makes him say it. There’s no chance that his ranking would go to his head.

“It’s gotta be the beard,” Clint laughs. “Otherwise you would’ve been eighth or worse.”

“It’s definitely more than the beard,” you answer.

Biting your tongue might have been the better option, as now you find yourself the center of some very intrigued attention. Perhaps your tone was a little too defensive, or the blush that certainly feels infinitely hotter now has finally caught flame on your cheeks. Whatever it was that garnered such smirks from around the table, whatever your intentions, your immediate wish is for the ground to open up and swallow you whole. 

“Care to elaborate on that, Y/N?” Tony asks, seeming to forget his fifth place ranking for a moment in favor of someone else’s total humiliation.

You clear your throat, glancing down at your food, bereft of your hunger. 

“Well,” you begin. “Maybe it has a lot to do with the way he carries himself, you know? There’s a lot of dignity there, a lot of virtue. He’s respectful and honest, stands up for what he believes in. He’s definitely not hideous, either. You know... he’s a - ”

“Y/N,” Steve says, leaning forward in his chair. “You don’t have to explain yourself. It’s really sweet of you, of course, and I do appreciate it, but - “

“No, Cap,” Tony interrupts. “I think we should let Y/N keep going.”

Your throat closes in panic and you clear it again, getting to your feet as you say, “I’m actually just gonna go.... uh... make a phone call. I’ll catch you guys later.”

Steve chastises Tony as the rest of the team breaks into discussion, but you don’t hear any of it. Soon, you’re in the elevator, bumping your head against the wall over and over, wondering if it’s too soon to pack your bags and leave the team with no notice as to where you’ve gone. You barely register your surroundings until you enter your room, locking the door behind you and requesting that FRIDAY ensures that you remain undisturbed until further notice. 

---

Each time your knuckles meet the leather of the punching bag, your mind gets a little clearer. It’s almost as if all the big and little things plaguing your thoughts settle on the surface of your fists, only to be smashed to pieces when you punch. The nervous energy that settled in you at lunch drives your fists forward, burning off into nothing with every movement you make. 

Midnight was the perfect time to sneak into the gym, to get a workout in without anyone bothering you; everyone usually slinks off to do their own things a little earlier in the evening. Perhaps some have fallen asleep by this time. It didn’t matter where they were or what they were doing as long as they weren’t around to say anything to you about Steve.

“Y/N?”

Then again... sometimes you’re wrong. 

You halt in your activity, breathing heavily and dreading turning to look at Steve. Your hands drop to your sides as you pluck up your courage, facing the man with a deep breath.

“Hey,” you reply as nonchalant as possible.

“Hi,” he says softly, his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants; his eyes fix on yours, drawing you into their depths as usual as he slowly approaches you. “Can we talk?”

The pit in your stomach grows exponentially, making you regret ever leaving your room in the first place.

“We don’t have to,” you answer quietly. “It’s just a silly magazine. It’s not like it’s about anything important, right?”

Facing the bag once more, you resume your activity, hoping against hope that Steve just leaves it there, that he doesn’t press the matter. The very last thing you want to do is spill your guts about what you thought was just a casual crush to the very man you’re crushing on. You hadn’t expected to become so flustered in such a situation, but with the spotlight on you at lunch, it had really sunk in just how much you feel for him. 

“Y/N,” he continues, but you evade him.

“It’s not a big deal,” you say, deciding to give up your workout for the night and hit the showers; he’d never follow you there. 

Before you can get too far, though, he says, “That’s why you’re running away from me, right?”

The anger is a surprise, bubbling up as you turn on your heel; perhaps it’s your shield in this moment, a veil to wear to save face. 

“Don’t push it, Cap,” you insist, making one more attempt at escape. Again, however, you’re stayed by his response.

“You’re definitely not hideous, either,’ he says, and you turn to face him once more; he stands there, wringing his hands, an earnest expression on his face. “You’re funny, and whip smart, and you don’t take anyone’s shit. There’s compassion and a goodness that I haven’t seen in anyone in a long time.”

Perhaps you’ve hit your head and you’re dreaming this. Maybe there’s a chance you inadvertently ingested some kind of hallucinogen at an enemy’s lair. Whatever it is, there is no way that Steve Rogers is standing in front of you, singing your praises like this. Not in the real world. Never once had you imagined the feelings reciprocated, so this must be a figment of your deepest desires.

“What?” is all you manage to say.

Steve’s brows knit over the bridge of his nose, desperation threading through every feature on his face.

“You can’t possibly think I wouldn’t fall for you, can you?” he asks gently. “That I haven’t noticed you? Y/N, you’re almost the only thing I notice anymore.”

"Well, that's a good way to get yourself killed during a mission."

You didn't mean to say it, and the moment solidifies around you, even the molecules in the air coming to a stand still. Steve’s eyes sparkle, blinking in slow motion as he moves forward. The corner of his mouth twitches upward in a sweet smirk. 

“What a way to go, then,” he says, within reaching distance of your hand. 

“So much for our selfless leader,” you giggle.

He hesitates for a moment, but when you move to offer your hand, he reaches out with his, his fingers curling around yours. The blue in his eyes glints in the low light of the gym, hinting not a single bit of insincerity. 

“There is something wrong with your ranking, though,” you say after a moment, amused at the almost-surprise in his expression as he straightens his posture.

“What do you mean?”

You grin before replying, “You should definitely have taken the number one spot.”

Steve relaxes, chuckling as he glances away. His free hand combs through his hair.

“Over Thor?” he says. “No way that’s happening.”

“Please,” you answer, finding your gumption and pulling him closer; the two of you are close enough to feel each other’s breaths on your faces, “There’s no contest.”

One more tug on his hand and his lips meet yours, hesitant at first, but with a sigh, the pair of you relax into each other. Lips parting, you taste his breath, minty and clean, as his hands find your waist, pulling you flush against his front. 

“If you say so,” he says as he pulls away, gazing into your eyes as he smiles, his expression a little dazed, a little satisfied. 

“Oh, Cap,” you reply, your hand above his wildly beating heart. “I do say so.”

[i-write-sometimes-blog]

Wounds (Cara Dune x Reader)

Request: WHAT?YEES! I Have an idea that's stuck in my head: yn managed to escape the empire, she was a sex slave( we all know the empire was the worst) and that left her mistrusting of people. she covers her face and body and has minimal content with others. but she's kind with the kids of Sorgan and Cara notices that. she works as a healer and is called to looked for Cara when she's injured and a bond forms. what do you think? By @ateliefloresdaprimavera

Word count: 1,460

Warnings: mentioned of slavery, mention of abuse in the past, blood, ptsd.

A/N: So here it is! Sorry for the delay, Tumblr messed up a few things but I managed to write this. Hope you like it, let me know what you think!

Sorgan was a peaceful place. Tall trees created the perfect shelter for the small villages on the planet, the people were kind and never asked too many questions, it was the perfect place to start over, to live a life without worries.

A place to run from the past.

You were here for that safety and you were sure Cara Dune was here for the same reason.

You met Cara a few weeks after she arrived at Sorgan, the tavern seemed full that night, you could hear the people cheering even from your hut at the furthest point of the village. You wondered why this sudden excitement on the people when nights used to be so quiet. Later that night you found the answer to your question.

A man showed up at your door, begging you to heal The Champion who had just got hurt in the latest fight. This was not the first time you were called to heal a champion of the tavern fights but you never expected it to be her.

Dark messy hair falling over the side of her face, she had strong features, yet the warmest eyes that looked at you with kindness, or maybe with curiosity about your way of dressing that allowed the minimum of skin to be shown.

“You’re the healer?” she managed to ask as you stepped in her hut, her voice filled with pain, she had her hand trying to stop the blood of the wound. Nodding you approached to take a better look at the bleeding wound on the side of her body and the many bruises all over her body.

As you got closer you noticed a few more things about this big woman: first the stripes on her right arm that meant her participation in the war and then the little starbird below her left eye, that one had a very sad meaning.

“Hold this.” you told her as you placed a wet cloth to her wound, the woman let out a groan feeling the pressure on the fresh cut. “Press tight.” you indicated her.

“You’re the boss.” she said with a playful smile, even though you could see she was in pain.

Once you found the tools and salves you needed from your bag you returned to her side. Without looking much at her you started to work on the wound, it was just below her ribs and judging it from the depth this was made by something sharp and not a fight.

“This is a serious cut.” you said. “What weapon did this?”

“A vibroblade.” she groaned when you started disinfecting the wound. “I’ve had worse.”

“Sure.” you said, already pouring the liquid from one of your bottles over the side of her body, without much bacta around you had learned to heal with the ancient ways that were a way more painful and slower than the bacta, but just as effective.

Cara whined when the liquid made contact with her skin, burning her flesh. By instinct she grabbed your wrist, making you flinch in terror, sure she was going to hurt you in some way. You closed your eyes and protected yourself with your free hand, already waiting for the hit, just like in your days as a slave, when doing something wrong meant a punishment.

“Please don’t.” you muttered. “Please, don’t hurt me.”

Cara looked at you for a moment, confused. Realized she had your wrist she let go of it and immediately apologized.

“Sorry, it was a reflex.” she said in a calming way, “That thing hurts more than the actual knife.” she added.

You were still insecure about whether to trust her or not.

“It's okay, I’m not going to hurt you.” Cara said looking right into your eyes “I would never hurt you.”

Something in her eyes made you finally trust her. Nodding you went back to your work, silent but somehow safe around this woman you had just met. Leaving her hut with the sensation that you could really trust in her and it was a very long time since you trusted someone.

As the fights in the tavern continued, her visits to your hut became more frequent, giving you the time to get to know Cara Dune a little bit better, to get a little bit closer, to fall in love with her.

Cara observed you everyday walking through the village, you were covered in fabric from head to toe, she always wondered why but never asked, afraid you’d get offended by the question. In fact, she had too many questions for you yet she kept silent.

Walking around the villages she noticed you never really interacted with the villagers beyond advising some concoction to cure some sickness or healing a wound, not even though people around here were kind, you just seemed uninterested in the many handsome boys that tried to win you over.

It was different with the children. She saw you play with them often, she even caught a smile curving your lips when a little girl ran to you to show you the frog she had just captured. Cara herself smiled with the picture in front of her.

You were such a mystery to her.

"What happened now?" You asked, catching her standing in the entrance of your hut, holding her arm.

"New opponent." She told you grinning. "The zabrak really punch hard but nothing I can't handle."

Shaking your head, you turned away from her, already searching for the right salve for the wound on her arm.

You enjoyed her company, her teasing smile and you even liked it when she looked at you, even though you hated it when other people stared at you, she looked at you unlike them, not with hunger or lust but compassion and kindness.

You felt safe around her tall frame and muscular figure. Enough to relax when it was just her and you in your hut, patching up her wounds.

“I’m starting to think you get hurt on purpose.” you told her in a teasing tone for the first time.

“Maybe I do.” she said looking into your eyes.

“Let me see the wound, Cara.” you said finally taking care of the cut on her arm.

As you cleaned the wound she observed you while you cleaned the cut and applied salve, a thousand of questions filled her head once again.

“Y/N, can I ask you something?” Cara murmured insecurely. You held your breath for a moment and then you accepted.

“Sure.”

“Why did you come to Sorgan?” she asked. It wasn’t an easy answer.

“For the same reason you’re here.” you told her trying to avoid her hazel gaze. “The Empire took everything away from me.”

She was from Alderaan, you didn’t need to ask, you knew it the first time you met her, the starbird below her eye could only mean that she was a survivor of the destruction of Alderaan.

"Well, that makes two of us."She scoffed. Then she tried to joke but she realized it was a delicate topic and went serious. "I am sorry."

"It's okay, it's all over now." you said patching her wound up.

"Can I ask you one more thing?" She questioned and you nodded in response.

"What did they do to you? I noticed you tend to avoid people." Cara said searching for your eyes now that you had finished with her wound. "And the first time we met you seemed so scared when I grabbed your arm."

You sighed. Trying to form the words to reveal a part of your past that no one on this planet knew.

"I was sold to the Empire when I was young." you told her, struggling to say the words out loud.

"You were-"

"A slave." It blurted out of you, your eyes traveling to the ground. "Many people hurt me back then, that's why I was afraid." You added, telling your story for the first time. "One day I found a chance to escape and I took it."

Cara took your hand softly, making you flinch for a moment but you relaxed, remembering it was her.

"I'm sorry. I'm here if you need anything. Survivors have to help each other, right?" Cara said holding your hand, "And I promise you that I won't let everyone hurt you again."

You smiled at her, a sincere and genuine smile. And then you did something you had never done before, you hugged her.

She wrapped her strong arms around you, protecting you. You felt safe into her embrace, loved.

"Thank you, Cara." You murmured into her embrace.

The Empire had taken everything away from both of you, but you had each other now to help to heal each other's wounds.

Tagging: @natasha-danvers

(In case you want to be tagged for specific things or everything I write, just let me know)

[bonktime]

Weather The Storm

Chapter 2: Hand Over Fist

Ezra (Prospect) x f!reader (no y/n) 1861 Lighthouse au 

Rated: E (just the whole story)

Previous // Masterlist // Next

Art by the incredible @honestly-shite​ I’m so blown away 🥰💘

Summary: Ezra settles into life in the north but he can’t seem to wrap his head around the keeper. As they dance around each other a clash with another local brings some truths into the light.

Warnings: Language, violence, a boat load of sexual tension, a bunch of victorian sexism, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort? (smut will come)

Note: Written in the 3rd person so i guess you could read as oc? but I never name or describe her, except being short. I had loads of fun writing this! Loads of descriptions of the weather because that’s who I am and also touching. Next chapter will probably be a little late but please forgive me!

Wordcount: 3630

~~~~~~~~~

The wind was like nothing else. Four days at sea and Ezra was fairly sure it was making him deaf. It roared and screamed through the wood of the boat like he's never heard. Rattling anything loose and merging with the groans of the beams and the waves into a great cacophony of noise.

There was a knack to sailing in winds so strong, one he was very glad he'd got the hang of previously else he would probably have been tossed overboard that first morning. Even so the violent movement of the ship beneath him had been a surprise. Any time he put anything down he had to keep a close eye or it would end up on the other side of the room. It made sleep exceedingly difficult when being tossed out of the hammock was a possibility, so he was lucky to get a couple of hours between shifts.

The work was hard and one particularly malicious seagull had made off with a biscuit he had been about to take a bite out of, combined with the lack of sleep and the rolling waves, it had made him irritable at best down right foul at worst. Still, the rest of the crew were likable and only jibed in a good humoured way at the newcomer. And, whenever the bite of the cold got too much, he had a new memory to warm him up. Even so as they came into port on that forth morning, he was picturing that warm bed and the flickering firelight. 

On the walk back along the sea something caught his eye. He stopped to pick it up.

 ⧫⧫⧫

Ezra arrived just as the keeper was leaving the lighthouse. She saw him crossing the causeway, as the sun peeked over the horizon, turning the sky every colour from deep blue to the brightest pink. He waved at her as she waited for him to approach, unable to help but admire her. Dressed in blue, she contrasted against the sky and its reflection in the water. She positively shone. As he got close, he smiled.

"It would appear I was wilfully incorrect about something"

"About what?" She cocked her head at him

"There is colour here. But to witness it you must have patience. "

He took a step closer. holding out his hand "I discovered this on my meander back to your charming abode, I believe you would appreciate it." In her hand he gently placed a chunk of sea glass, worn soft by the sands but still bright deep blue. He stayed close as she held it up to let the sun shine through. She could smell the sea on him, salty and something else. Looking up at him she wondered why he had been so thoughtful. "It's beautiful, thank you" he smiled at her, eyes creasing warmly.

 ⧫⧫⧫

A week passed and they talked in the mornings but their days never seemed to line up so they could only see each other for meals. Ezra spent his evenings in the living room, reading by the fire whenever he was home, and his mornings wandering the coast to distract himself from the woman in the water. 

Once on his walk he met the other keeper. The man had looked exhausted as if he was carrying a weight on his shoulders. He didn't say much, just to give his thanks to the other keeper and then he'd hurried away.

Further down the shoreline he liked to watch the market get set up. Watch the women waiting for the fishing boats to get in, preparing to gut and fillet and sell. He chatted to them sometimes, offering a hand carrying out the tables if they needed it. One girl always gave him a cup of tea after, laughing at his jokes and smiling. She was pretty and definitely would have caught his eye before. But now? He was friendly enough, and polite, but just couldn't work out why he was so uninterested. It wasn't like him. She made a nice friend though, and it was pleasant to get to know someone apart from the keeper even if he wasn't staying too long. And even if he didn't know the keeper all that well.

Ezra mentioned a woman he met at the fishery to the keeper. As much as she knew and liked her, it stung in a way the keeper couldn't quite identify. She was kind and soft and pretty and just the opposite of her. All of her hard edges and bitterness and isolation. But she didn't have any good cause or right to feel envious. Still, she thanked him for the warning, should she come across them together at least she wouldn’t be surprised.

 ⧫⧫⧫

There was another week of only seeing each other in the wee hours before both Ezra and the keeper had a shared day off.

He offered to come with her into town and help carry things. Mostly he just wanted her to show him around which she knew but she agreed anyway.

The sun showed itself as they walked together warming their skin. He watched the keeper raise her head to bask in it, smiling as she tried to explain what she needed from town with him interrupting after every item to ask questions.

She was glowing and it was starting to affect Ezra. Her skirt was pinned up a little above her ankles so it didn't dip in the sand and she'd forgone her usual headscarf and shawl to enjoy the sun. She had laughed at him as they'd left, at all his layers, called him a southern pansy. He'd grinned "Not everyone is so accustomed to this frigid weather. The cold bites those who it has not made an acquaintance with. Not unlike a wary dog."

"If you stayed a few winters here and swam in the North Sea you'd end up as hardy as any of us I reckon" he'd just smirked.

 ⧫⧫⧫

The keeper decided Ezra spoke just the way he did just to confuse people. Every time she’d asked him what a word meant he had grinned, but he did explain without condescension. He had spent nearly an hour chatting away to the grocer when she’d gone to the butcher and the baker. Upon asking, it turned out he had been trying to find a fruit he was fond of, but all the frills in his speech had led to a debate between the owners about what he had meant which he had then stayed quiet during just for enjoyment. When she had gone back to find him he was grinning ear to ear as the two men bickered. She had suppressed a laugh and sorted it out quickly before they had gotten even more irked by the outsider. Ezra had seen the laugh in her eyes though.

The final stop was the bookshop. A small place, stacked floor to ceiling and owned by the keeper’s oldest friend. She was sitting outside in the sun and jumped up wrapping the keeper in a warm hug. 

"Lass you work too fucking hard. I haven't seen hide nor hair of you in Christ knows how long!" 

She grinned; the first time Ezra had seen it. He should make her grin more.

"Aye I'm starting to agree, how're the bairns at this rate they'll have grown a foot before I can see them again. Oh, shit sorry.” She gestured to him “This is my lodger Ezra, Ezra this is Amelia."

He wonders vaguely if everyone the keeper knows can give looks that pierce the soul. He gives the shopkeeper a nod and her face breaks into a smile. As they headed into the shop, clouds began to gather overhead.

"Come on pet, I've got something new I just know you'll love."

The shop seemed ready to burst at the seams. Ezra paroused but couldn’t stop himself listening into their conversation.

“How have you been, really? I worry about you all alone up there.” Amelia asked her eyes full of concern. Ezra subtly rounded a bookshelf so he wouldn’t seem nosey.

“I… Well I’ve been worse like. Every day is easier and I’m not alone at the moment as you’ve seen.”

“You seem to collect sailors, you.”

The keeper laughed “I just like the company! And I like being alone the rest of the time as you well know.”

“Oh aye the company. Nothing to do with,” Amelia lowered her voice “I divn’t nah… the roguishly good looks? You always loved a bit of trouble, dafty that you are”

“Hey! He just rents the room, we’re… friends I guess.” Ezra wished he could see her to gage how she really felt.

“Sure you pet.”

 ⧫⧫⧫

20 minutes later they left, a copy of Great Expectations wrapped carefully in tissue paper and stowed at the bottom of her bag, surrounded so it would stay dry should it rain. As they stepped out a woman seized the keeper's arm, she was accompanied by the vicar and glaring viciously. The keeper swallowed and introduced Ezra, he saw how uncomfortable she was, how her mood had changed since just minutes before.

"The ever elusive keeper shows herself yet again" the vicar speaks, face impassive, "I thought you might have died since you don't attend church, perhaps you'd met god's reckoning after… being so loose with your commitments." 

Ezra watches her jaw clench "I have told you before, when I work the night, I cannot attend in the morning."

The other women smirked "Work the night is one way of putting it." She eyed Ezra.

The vicar sighed "It is disappointing you disobey god's will. Your father should have married you off while he had the chance. Then your husband would keep you in line. If he could see you now, he'd be so ashamed"

Ezra froze but before he could react, he saw the rage pass over her face, fiery and passionate. She couldn't help it, she saw red, couldn't stop herself. She punched the vicar square on the nose.

The other woman shrieked. "What is wrong with you? You've hurt him!" Indeed, blood did start to drip out of his nose but he straightened himself up and grabbed the keepers arm pulling her close and raising his fist to strike.

"You're nothing but a worthless little whore. It's no wonder your sailor left as soon as you-" he was cut off by Ezra's fist, catching his jaw and sending him sprawling.

"I will not abide you speaking to the lady in this manner." He shook out his hand, and stepped over him, bending to seize his hair and pressing his blade to his neck "And to strike her?" He scowled down at the man who was opening and shutting his mouth like a fish. "What is that mantra you holy men spout? Turn the other cheek." The keeper's jaw dropped, she had known Ezra was rough around the edges but to strike a man of God, to threaten him, for her?

Against the incoming storm, it was as if he'd grown. Become huge and monstrous and brutal in a way she hadn't seen, a glimpse of what lay beneath all his beautiful words and pleasant disposition. It moved something in the keeper, something dangerous. Not many people would far defend her, let alone in such a way. 

Lightning flashed overhead forking down to meet the sea, in the light she could see the hard glint in his eye, the one he'd worn when they'd first met, even as he smiled. This was a man who had done far worse and all she could feel was grateful. It squeezed around her heart.

"I suspected as much. You must have forgotten yourself for a moment." Ezra stood and pulled the vicar to his feet, squeezing his arm harshly still baring that viscous grin as he pulled him close and murmured "I'd truly hate for you to suffer another grievous lapse in judgement, who knows what may become of you."

The keeper looked at the other woman "Judge not lest ye be judged? You had better pray for forgiveness.” She stepped forwards shoulders back as thunder rumbled around them “There's a storm coming and your husband works the water. I'd hate for the lord to compel me to make an error." The woman gasped at her a cold glare. Ezra looked at the keeper as she straightened out her dress. He could have laughed at her nonchalance, it gave him pause, how he saw her quiet power. She would make quite the foe. She gave Ezra a nod and he took her arm as they walked away.

He can feel how tense she was through her arm, despite her calm demeanour panic and anxiety were coming off her in waves. They walked back along the beach in silence as the heavens opened, pouring rain down around them. Ezra frowned to himself, perhaps with all the flitting around he had forgotten how to behave. Had lost some of himself, every old sin chipping away at his humanity was taking its toll. He'd come here for some fucking quiet, why did he always find trouble, or make it? Perhaps those years… he wasn't good. Punching a priest though? The keeper was a menace.

Half way he stopped turning her to look at him.

"Why didn't you tell me you were married?" she looked away from him at the waves. White horses were being blown, throwing spray up into the air.

"I never was. He left before we could."

The rain beating down made it hard to look up at him, it dripped into her eyes and ran down her face like tears. The rain and thunder were near deafening as he looked at her face, saw the pain and the other emotion, the one he can't identify.

"What happened?" He nearly has to shout to be heard over the storm and the waves. Reaching for her, taking her hand and feeling the calluses on her fingers.

"What always happens! I fell in love, and I thought he did too. But after, after we. He did what sailors always do." she threw off his hand and stepped back, the sea lapping at her ankles.

"What is it sailors always do? I do not appreciate you painting us all with such broad strokes." Now he's shouting, a bit out of frustration but mostly to be heard as the wind begins to howl, merging sea spray and rain until the only thing he could see was her.

"He sailed away!" She was suddenly very grateful for the rain; he couldn't see the tears that had rolled down her face. He frowned at her a deep furrow in his brow. "And so, he's right! I am a whore and probably everything else too." She looked wild, wind whipping her skirt to and fro. She glared at him, daring him to judge her. "I was relieved! I didn't want to marry him, he wanted to leave and I didn't. I enjoyed what we did!" She pressed her palm to her forehead. No idea how he would react. "He could’ve said goodbye" she whispered it, let the crash of the waves muffle the sound.

To her surprise he tugged her hand away from her face, looking into her eyes, jaw set, rain plastering his hair to his head.

"Let's go home."

Keeping her hand gently clasped in his he led her along the beach to the island.

 ⧫⧫⧫

Both of them were soaked to the bone by the time they had re-entered the cottage. Ezra could feel the keepers hand trembling in his.

"Go change out of that wet garb, I'll light the blaze in the living room and set the water to boil"

She nodded and entered her room as he did his own. He quickly pulled off his wet clothes and tugged on a fresh shirt surprised to hear her call out to him.

"Ezra, can you help me?"

He entered her room slowly, still only in his long shirt, taking it in. The bed was wide enough for two and had as many blankets as his own, there was a small wardrobe and a chest and a stack of books on a bedside table. On top of which he saw the glass he'd given her, not yet added to the chime in the window.

She was in her corset and chemise, back to him, dripping onto the rag-rug on the floor.

"I can't seem to," she was reaching behind herself. "With it wet and my damn swollen knuckles I can't loosen the tie. Please, can you help?"

He swallowed thickly as she looked back at him then away. Gently he reached for her, big hands and nimble fingers beginning to loosen the knot. "I'll take a look at that hand if you would allow me, check you haven't done any tangible damage." She nodded.

As he finished, he couldn't help brushing his fingers across the bare skin of her shoulder. It was soft and warm under his cold fingers. She stiffened slightly and turned to him, looking up at his face. His frown remained but that steely glint was gone, giving way to wide sad eyes. She looked at his hands, big, strong and bruised. She took one in her own, inspecting the cut across his knuckles.

"You needn't hurt yourself in defence of me, I shouldn't have hit him." She gently rubbed her thumb over the swelling to check her hadn't dislocated anything and tried to ignore how he tensed.

"I could not abide his hurting you, not with his words and certainly not with his fist" he turned her hand mirroring her gesture to feel her knuckles, they were swollen but nothing felt out of place. He kept a hold of her hand as he looked back up at her face.

She looked into his eyes, deep and dark enough to fall into. They stared back into hers without hesitation. She held his hand for just a moment longer before letting go. As she did, he turned and left, closing the door gently behind him.

He didn't give her the chance to thank him.

 ⧫⧫⧫

When she had dressed and headed down stairs, Ezra was pouring tea, he looked up. She was still dishevelled and shivering a little.

"Come on, let's get warmed up"

He led her through to the living room and sat her down on the rug in front of the fire handing her a cup of tea. Sitting down across from her he spoke, his legs brushed hers as he stretched out but he didn’t move away.

"What I cannot apprehend is why you don't want to depart this glacial place. You are not treated compassionately and there are locations all over with preferable climates."

She gave a small smile. "Because I like it here, it isn't perfect but I have my friends and my work and my home and where would I go? How well do you think the world would treat a woman like me?"

He shrugged, "People may surprise you. They have me on many occasions. I even astonish myself sometimes"

"Or they'll behave exactly as they always do. People are predictable like that." She sighed and sipped her tea. The warmth of the fire finally took an effect. "It seems we are at an imbalance. You know plenty about me, although not because I wanted you to. How about you tell me where you got that accent?"

He grinned. "I suppose I can reveal a little information. If only for the sake of equality."

So, he told her. Told her about his home, his mother, about when she passed. How he had to work to survive and found that he didn't get seasick. He picked up words and dialect wherever he went, combining them with his own until he wasn't sure what he used to sound like. She had laughed at him upon learning he wasn't a strong swimmer. 

"I can't believe you haven't been thrown overboard and drowned yet! You're unbelievably lucky!" He'd loved the sound.

He missed out a lot of the more unsavoury details of the work he’d done but the whitewashed version was honest enough. How going back to where he grew up still hurt, he had only visited once. Instead, he travelled, worked, and enjoyed himself.

"I don't know. You said I must be lonely here but you, you travel alone. You can't make good friends, you've no home to return to." She watched his face. "It seems you're far more alone than I am"

His brow furrowed "We can agree to disagree on that."

"And I still don't understand why you're here. Why aren't you somewhere warm?"

He shrugged and avoided the question, "If I wasn't, I would not have had the astounding pleasure of meeting you."

She frowned at how he ignored her question, but brushed it off.

The rain was finally beginning to ease as Ezra dozed off. Sitting on the floor slumped against the chair by the fire. He looked peaceful, no shadows playing behind his eyes, so she didn't wake him. Instead as the sun dipped, she laid a blanket over him and went to light the light.

The winds had made for a tense shift. Always keeping a weather eye on the sea for ships that might have got into trouble but eventually the sun rose and she stopped the clockwork and went back to the cottage.

Ezra had already left to get to The Mistress and she was surprised at the slight sting that they hadn't got to say goodbye. Next time she'll wake him.

She was even more surprised by how much she missed his company.

~~~~~~~~

Glossary

Hand over fist: Going forth rapidly in an endeavour, comes from ‘hand over hand’ when climbing the rigging.

Bairns: Kids, affectionate

Divn’t nah: Don’t know, couldn’t not include this

Dafty: fool, idiot, affectionate

~~~~~~~~

Taglist

Ezra

@fandom-blackhole

WTS

@something-tofightfor

Because I crave validation

@danniburgh

[teeswrites]

Malibu- C.H

Malibu

Ashton, Calum, Luke, and Michael were dropped on Calum's couch staring at the ceiling. Beer cans all over the carpet, letting some remaining liquid drip from it and make stains on the grey soft fabric, where his socked feet were resting He didn't give a shit about it. They were pretty legless (*for those that don't know: legless is the same as veeeery wasted for us Aussie! :D), and he had bigger problems than some beer puddles over his apartment. Calum grabbed his phone and texted the first person on his dm. she. She had become the first person in everything lately

[2 pm]

Calum: 'wanna hang?'

She replied in seconds

'omw ;)'

He smiled and blocked his phone again letting his head drops on the couch's back. "I am fucking starving." Luke started to complain "yeah, me too. Hey, Cal" he let a groan that should be a "what?" to Michael "can you text your girlfriend and ask her to bring some food?" how the fuck he knew he had texted her. It might be the stupid smile across his stupid face. "she isn't my girlfriend" but he texted her the same way, she gently answered 'like pickles in your burger?' he smiled 'throw away the damn pickles' and let his head rests on the couch's back again and closed his eyes "she will stop at Maccas" "she's fucking awesome" "my best friend" Luke bragged "she should be your girlfriend, Cal" "not your business, Ash..." "Ouch! Easy, man, just saying" he swallowed a "fuck you" and just answered with silence. she should be his girlfriend, but he wasn't sure about what they were. When he heard the knock on the door his heart almost skipped the beats and he stood up faster than he wanted to "and he said that doesn't want anything serious" Ash teased "you like to tease, huh?" "you have no idea" "fuck me, Irwin" "I wish, but she'd be jealous" Calum showed to Ashton his middle finger and they laughed before he opened the door at the same moment she will knock again "hey" "'sup, Cal?" she stood on her tiptoes and pecked his lips, he grinned "come in" "thanks" she walked to Calum's living room and dropped her tired body on the couch, the college will kill her anytime. And soon. But she was there still "hey, boys!" "Hey!" they answered together "I bought some burgers" in the second after she put the bag over the coffee table Michael sat up and grabbed it like he did not eat for days and started to distribute between the other two dead bodies lying next to him. Calum sat down at her side pulling her closer to him and resting one hand on her waist and his head on her shoulder, her hands moving to his hair and caressing it smoothly. "'re you okay?" Luke asked his best friend "I'm good. Just tired" "studying lots?" "more than I can handle" the exams will come soon and the professors have no mercy with the students "they keep dropping mountains and mountains of knowledge in our heads" "you should rest a little" "yeah" "for your luck you have the best friend in the world" "what you have in mind?" "The question is 'what I have in my pocket?'" Luke took off his black, skinny jeans pocket a key. A key. she knew that key "Fucking Lord, what happened to your grandma?" "She is in Italy and the house is in my care" "lucky bastard" "I think we should spend the weekend there. What do you think?" "God, yes!" "What Thelma and Louise are talking about?" "grandma's Malibu house" "I'm in" "me too" "I don't remember to invite you two" "we clearly don't care" he chuckled "what about you, Cal?" "Yeah, it will be nice" he answered uninterested "wow, Calum how you are zippy today" "fuck yourself" Ashton laughed "you are too down today, eat something will make your mood get better" "'m not hungry" "what?! I practically had to beg for the McDonald's guy for a no-pickles burger" "sorry…" "what happened to you?" "Pms" they laughed "I swear to God I'll punch your face Ashton!" she twisted her body turned to his side to give him all her attention he grinned with her act and squeezed her waist "nothing to you worry about" "are you sure?" "yes" he whispered and kissed her quickly on the lips before get up and walk towards the bathroom. Michael groaned in pleasure when he finished his burger "I was starving! Thank you. Luke, hug her for me, I am too far" "it was nothing" Luke wrapped his long arms around her, she snuggled and hummed with the comfort "do you want us to pay you back?" "oh, don't need to, like to take care of you guys" "I have the best friend in the world" "me?" Calum asked when came back to his living room, already feeling jealous. He knew that she was Luke's friend for more time than he and that was Luke who introduced them, but he couldn't help himself "she" "really? I think 'm way better than her" Calum teased her and received in response a socked

foot on his stomach "you will not hurt anyone with these smurf feet" "oh, fuck you!" he grinned and started making circles on her heel trying to forget how much he loves her small feet while she smiled to he "seriously, Cal if you two don't run away to Vegas and get eloped, I will put you guys on my trunk and force you to do it" she giggled, but he rolled his eyes, dropped her foot on the couch and made his way to the bedroom "I think he is mad with you, Ash" "his lost" he shrugged "Alright beautiful people if we gonna leave for the weekend is better we go pack our shits" "yeah, is better" "where we'll meet?" "her place" "why mine?" "Your car is bigger and comfier. And the only one that the engine turns on at the first attempt" "fine, but you drive" "don't need to ask twice" "okay, see you two later" "at 8" "At 8 will be" "later" "later". Michael slammed the door behind him. "what's wrong with Calum?" she asked "bad mood, I guess. Want me to talk with him?" "no, babe, go pack your stuff and I talk with him" "ok" he untied she, giving a kiss on her forehead "see you later, sweetheart" "see u" Luke stood up and yelled to Calum hears him from the bedroom "I'M LEAVING CAL!" "YOU'RE LEAVING LATE IN MY OPINION!" "OH FUCK YOU!" "TRUST ME, I WILL!" Luke laughed and closed the door behind him. She made her way to Calum's bedroom where she already spent a lot of time in and leaned her shoulder on the doorway "hello" "hi" he was splayed at his bed like a starfish "can I join you?" "sure" he shrank himself to the side so she could jump in his bed like a child going to sleep on their parent's bed, what made he smile and giggle "hello again" "hi again" "are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" "no" "uh, alright" they kept the silence for some seconds while she tried to tangle herself on his arms, but he smiled amused and did not help her "asshole" he laughed "oh, come here your fucking kid" he pulled her that was laid next to him, to lay on his chest and a loud groan left his lips before he answers her "you and Luke" he mumbled "what?" "You asked what was wrong: you and Luke" "are you jealous?" "yes" "he is my best friend. He is your best friend" "I know" "I had been sleeping with you" "know that too" and he knew it well "so what is this about?" he flipped his body to be over her and look inside her eyes "you are amazing, he is amazing and you too know each other so well, are so close. And I'm... just me" "it should be a compliment, right?" "I am talking serious" "me too, but, hey you're lucky that I'm more into jerkasses" she teased what made him smile squeezing his eyes, but he opened it again and he felt her hands cupping his face and she staring at his lips, so he pushed down and kissed her deeply, passionated. Soon her hands were sliding down his whole body stopping on the button of his black, ripped jeans ready to take off of him, but Calum stopped the kiss, swallowed, and laid down at her side again what made her feels confused "uh, you... you should go pack your stuff" "what? pack my stuff?" something was wrong, he never refused sex before 'will he break up with me?' she thought "ok" she put herself up and walked towards the door "hey!" "hum?" "need me to drive you home?" "no, like to walk" "oh, okay" "want to come with me?" he wanted to say 'yes' really, wanted to have sex with her (good and sweaty) let her fall sleep on his arms and wake up late to the trip, forget to put clean underwear on the bag and hear the boys make jokes about the reason that they were late, but... "I will take a shower, you know?" "I have a shower in my place" she raised an eyebrow teasing him again, one last try, but he just kept in silence, she nodded "see you later, Cal" and left his apartment ...he couldn't fall in love with her.

*

They met at her place two hours early than they had agreed, she was taking a shower when heard Michael yelling into her living room. "Don't you regret of gave a key to Luke?" "No, like when he is around. Less when I am studying, you know how noisy he can be." now she was on her couch talking with Ashton while the other three was in the kitchen pretending they were barmen "you have a very nice place" "thanks, my grandparents left to me" "I'm sorry" "Oh, it's okay they are alive. They moved to Indiana" "oh, that's nice" "it is" "who wants margaritas???" Luke walked to the living room caring two glasses of margaritas "thank you, Luke" "cheers!" he drank with his best mate when she gasped "you should not drink you'll drive!" "I can drive" "at least someone is behaving. I will love to punish those who don't obey me" she said naughty and Luke laughed loudly he loved when she made sexual jokes "Ash is embarrassed" Michael appeared in the living room yelling (already drunk) with Calum "who is embarrassed?" "Ash. Look he is blushing!" they all laughed "sorry, Ash" "it's fine... Excuse me" Ash made his way to the kitchen and Calum sat next to her where Ashton was before "hey Calum" "what's up Mike?" "You and her will have to control, you know?" "what you're talking about?" "The noise. Not allowed to be loud" Calum laughed "how many margaritas you drank already?" "The margaritas..." He paused and burped 'gross' he continued "the problem is not the margaritas, but the shots" "well, I think that it will not be a problem, Mike" "you are quite loud, babe" she raised an eyebrow and looked to Calum "well, no sex no noise, and you already have made it very clear to me" she stood up and walked to the kitchen to fill her glass and Luke followed her "wow! Calum Hood, what you did wrong?" Ashton dropped at his side very interested in the chaos "I refused fuck with her earlier" "what?! Why, dude?" Ashton and Michael laughed "have my reasons..." he mumbled and blushed a little "ok, they must be good 'cause, bro she is a hottie one and hotties do not are used to be rejected. So she will, naturally, get mad with you" 'he didn't know about her past' Calum thought "Ash... Just be quiet" "alright. Hey Michael did you watched the video I sent you?" Ashton moved the subject leaving Calum only with his thoughts.

*

"What happened, honey?" "He is acting weird" "yeah..." "He didn't want to have sex, didn't want to walk home with me, didn't let me tease him" "don't have a clue why he is doing this" "he was being paranoiac..." "About what?" "About us" she whispered "hum?" "About us" "about us? But don't exist an 'us'" "I know" "Jesus, man... what are you gonna do?" "Get wasted" Luke chuckled "you always have the best ideas" then filled his glass.

*

Was a little after 8 pm when they left: Ashton driving, Calum at his side and the trio in the back: Michael sleeping at the right, Luke in the middle, and she in the left with her head dropped on Luke's shoulder his arm around her while they count how many trucks they see in the road "how many you already saw?" "Eighteen, I guess" "damn it! I'm losing" "what you guys are doing?" Ashton asked interested in what the friends were doing "We are counting lorries" Calum widened his eyes and look at her "lorries?" "Yes" "wtf are lorries?" "Trucks" "are you British now?" "No, but my last boyfriend was" 'oh, yes. He is British' "I miss him. Do you still hang?" Luke used to hang out with them when he broke up with his girlfriend "Yes, I had lunch with him last week" "send hello when you see him again" "okay" "do you still talk with him" "yes, Ash, we are still friends" "you two truly love each other. I mean after all of that you keep supporting him. It's love" Luke always says too much when he is drunk "I think so" but she was pretty wasted too "why did you break up?" "He discovered he is more into boys, you know..." Ashton looked to Calum already regretting what he said about her earlier "I'm sorry" "yeah, it's alright. He is happy that's what matters" "it's very nice of you..." "Well, he would do the same for me" she said with sadness in her voice and Ashton cleaned his throat "Can I sleep, Luke?" "Yes, sure. Come here" he pulled her to be more comfortable on his chest and she fell asleep, soon he did it too. "I think is only us, bro" "yeah, uh, Cal" "hum?" "Honestly, why are you sat here? Why are you not where Luke is? With her laying in your chest, hands playing in her thighs, teasing each other, kissing?" he licked his lips and swallowed dryly, looked back to certify they were sleeping "I'm afraid" "afraid? Is she spanking you?" Calum blushed "she spanks you?" Ashton laughed "it happened once or twice. Sometimes she is bossy in bed. But anyway is not about it" "So why the hell are you refusing sex?" "I am afraid of fall in love with her" "you? falling in love?" "I am falling for her and faster. But I can't" "wow. Why not? You guys are great together" "she isn't mine. And I'm afraid to ask her to be" "you can't live with fear, bro" "yeah…" "honestly, she is awesome and if you don't risk yourself, someone will and you will lose her" "I know" "just keep it in your mind" "I will. Thanks, Ash" "no problems, mate. I should have a talk show" "hell yeah, you totally should" they kept talking about the imaginary Ashton's talk show for the rest of the trip.

*

Was at least midnight when she put on a bikini and jumped on the swimming pool, the boys were making some midnight barbecue, now all drunk, listening to some classic rock, and getting high again. "Beautiful..." "hey" "can we talk?" "Yes! hum, actually I was thinking about the same thing" she was soberer now "good" he dived into the pool and stand next to her "I am sorry about what I said earlier. Sex isn't everything and you're not obligated to do if you're not in the mood. It's just so great that I can't help myself…" she started and he looked into her eyes calmly, taking her hands in his own, she was despaired for an answer and let he knew with her gaze, but he just stepped closer guiding her hands and arms to involve his body, resting his chin on the top of her head and whispered "I want you to be mine" "I will love to be yours" she whispered back and he grinned "sex it's actually really great, isn't it?" "more than it usually is" "so, are you saying that I'm pretty good in bed?" she laughed "you satisfy me, more than the other boys I had slept with" "is it includes Luke?" she smiled "well, I don't remember a lot, but I think so" he grinned at her. Luke and she had already banged a few years ago at some random party, both wasted. Calum knew that and didn't care 'old shit' he thought.

"HEY, LUKE!" "WHAAAATTT?" "SHE SAID SEX WITH ME IS BETTER THAN WITH YOU!" she blushed "Calum!" "damn it!" Luke mumbled more to himself "HEY, CAL!" "HUM?" "SUCK ME!" "I WISH TO, BUT I WILL BE BUSY DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU DIDN'T WHEN HAD THE CHANCE!" Luke laughed out loud and showed to Calum a middle finger. He actually made his bestie come over and over, at the point she thought he had a magic wand instead of a penis, but Calum didn't need to know. Luke winked at her before put his focus on the grill again, she nodded in thanks "did you guys stopped to talk about my orgasms?" "yes, babe" he pulled her legs to his waist and cupped her bum and kissed her, a calm and delicious kiss "want to go to the bedroom and let me put in practice what we were talking about?" "Do you really want to?" "More than you can imagine" "'re you sure?" he whispered at her ear "my handjobs are not like yours" he teased what made her get off his arms and went out of the pool. She pulled his wrist indicating to him to made his way out of the pool to follow her "good night boys" "good night!" Calum smiled at them that was making obscene gestures "yes, we are going to bang and you are not!" she laughed what made the boys stop and focus on another thing. Already in the bedroom Calum was laying in the bed where she said to he waits, she came out of the bathroom and she climbed the mattress to stay at his top "hey, gorgeous" "Cal, if you have to hand job yourself earlier, why you suggested me to leave?" "I was avoiding sex" "why?" "I was avoiding have great moments with you." "Because...?" "I was afraid of fall for you. Don't know about your feelings for me and I am afraid to discover" "I like you a lot" "do you?" "I really do. Wished that you asked me to be yours before" he smiled "I wanted too" "fear makes us do things that we don't want to" "yes" "hope you're not afraid of making me cum" she teased and he squeezed her hips, she kissed he and untied her bikini top "I lie. Don't like you a lots" he widened his eyes "I love you" "love me?" "Yeah. Love everything on you." "It doesn't mean that you love me" "it does" she kissed his neck, his jaw, his lips that tasted like beer "love everything single piece of you. If you puzzle it all together it's you" he smiled "how can you love me?" "ask myself the same every day" he giggled and kissed her again, this time teasing.

She untied the bikini bottom letting him feels how wet she was "fuck" "yes, fuck" they kissed again and again, hot and despaired for each other, he stopped the kiss and she looked at him confused "I'm waiting for an answer" she rolled her eyes but answered he the same way "love you because it's you" he smiled and for the first time let himself fall for her "love you too" he mumbled and she continued the kiss before he took off his swimming short and gave to her want she wanted, what they wanted, 'cause now was not she, was not he, but they.

[eveningcatcher]

Main six  when they lose MC at the market

Asra:

You were walking in the market, looking for some herbs that you've run out. You were wandering among the busy market, commenting about how this is the seventh time you've run out of this herb this week, however, Asra didn't seem to listen, instead, their eyes wandered at every store until they stopped at the freshly baked pumpkin bread on your favourite stalls. 

The two of you, without noticing it, got separated. Once they got out of the bakery, satisfied that they got the hot pastries for the two of you, they realized that you were nowhere in sight.

Their worry was rising every moment as he tried to find you amongst the crowd. Their fingers were moving until they felt someone lightly tap their shoulder.

"Found the friend!" Faust said as she was happily slithering on your left arm.

"There you are!" you said before quickly pecking their cheek. Once you moved away, you added, while playing with their hair, "I have been looking everywhere for you! Please pay more attention, I'll lose you for real once!"

They sighed in relief as they gave you the pumpkin bread they bought you. Later during the day, Asra gave you matching charm that would help find each other.

  Read all chapters here

Julian:

You two came up with a genius idea to see what tea and saltybitters taste like mixed so you went to the marketplace to look for the ingredients. The marketplace was especially crowded that day since the new goods were arriving. 

So it was no wonder the doctor lost you in the huge crowd. He couldn't believe his eyes. Just a moment ago, you were there, right next to them, and the next you're gone. He immediately started panicking, looking all over the place for you. Once he calmed himself down, he started to look for you in the shops you visited frequently, asking everyone if they had seen you. 

The time passed and you were still nowhere in sight. He started to lose all hope until he saw a familiar person walking around, completely lost. He quickly walked towards the person, giving them a tight hug, "There you are..." he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, "You had me worried sick."

Your shoulder relaxed at his sudden touch, feeling safe in his arms.

"Where were you?" you asked, "I went to the Rowdy Raven and you-"

"Rowdy Raven?!?" he pulled you away, gently gripping onto your shoulders, "What were you doing all the way there?"

"Getting the salty bitters?" you said, gesturing to the bottle of the said drink in your hands.

"Weren't we supposed to get the tea first?" he asked, raising a bag with the dry herbs.

"Ohh..." you lightly slapped your cheek, "You're right..."

He couldn't help himself but chuckle, forgetting all of the stress he felt minutes before.

~* Epilogue *~

 The two of you went home and made the said cocktail. After examining it, the two of you shared a worried look, before chugging the drink at the same time. 

In the beginning, the cocktail tasted bitter, with the tone of alcohol and caffeine in it, but it was still drinkable, and neither one of you seemed to mind it. In fact, it seemed Julian even liked this weird combination, judging by the way his lips moved into a small smile. However, that face of satisfaction seemed to disappear as soon as the drink got to your throats. You spat the drink, looking for a glass of water to remove the acidic taste that was stuck in your throat. Julian, on the other hand, exaggerated a bit, with him spitting the drink and gasping for air, accompanied by the words: 

"I'm pretty sure this is what Devil's piss tastes like."

Overall, the two of you decided to throw the drink away, not mentioning this incident ever again.

Nadia:

And once again, you've gone with Nadia for a walk through a marketplace, assuring her you don't need anything. The two of you have been chatting along the way, talking about some of the meetings Nadia has to attend this evening.

Natiqa approached Nadia, staring a little chat. You, however, didn't notice that she stopped and continued walking. 

"Oh, I have just come from Prakra," her sister said, "There were travelling magicians passing by,"

"And?" Nadia asked, there have never been any magicians in Prakra, not that she can remember though.

"And they pulled off some magic," she stopped talking for a moment to draw a rainbow with her hands" and suddenly birds and colourful butterflies were flying all over their place."

"I suppose it could be rather interesting," the countess nodded after listening to her story, "I have never seen something similar, what do you think MC?" she turned on her left, but only then she noticed you were gone.

"MC?" she called out for you once again, with a clear tone of worry in her voice, "Have you seen her?" she turned to her sister who only shrugged in response.

"I didn't even know the two of you were together."

"Where could they go?" she wondered as she looked through the nearest shops for you.

Once Nadia made sure she hasn't left any of the nearby shops unchecked, she stopped for a moment to think where you could have possibly gone. She would've most likely continued to run all of the possible scenarios of what could've happened to you if Natiqa didn't show up with you, who has been nibbling on the fresh pastry.

"Don't worry, Dia," she said as she pets your head, "This little troublemaker was just hungry."

Months after that incident Nadia would still tease you whenever the two of you would go to the Market.

 "Now, now, don't get lost because of some pumpkin bread."

Portia:

Portia had to go to buy Nadia something to mend her headaches, and you decided to tag along. As always, Portia would chatter with you, only stopping her small talk when she would see something interesting.

As she was 'debunking' one of Julian's many unusual stories, you were being pickpocketed. You've realised what was happening a bit too late, as the thief was already running away. When Portia saw your pouch in the stranger's hands she immediately started to run after them.

"Get back here, bastard," she shouted as she sprinted towards them.

The thief had soon realised that taking your pouch was a stupid idea since Portia was a lot faster than what she looked like. She quickly caught up with the thief, punching them wherever she could. The guards quickly noticed that something was going on, and they immediately took the thief away.

"That idiot," Portia said in between gasps, "I hope he gets what he deserves, am I right MC?"

She gasped for a moment, waiting for your answer, but she didn't hear it.

"What's wrong, Pepi got your tongue?" she turned on her left, but you were not there. At that moment, she realised that you most likely couldn't keep up with her speed, so she ran back to the place she has seen you last time.

As she was running, she noticed you amongst the crowd, asking some people if they've seen Portia.

"Oh, there you are!" she stopped sprinting and walked to you, "Don't worry, I got my pouch back. Come on now, let's go for that medicine."

The two of you bought the medicine for a surprisingly cheap price. Later on, the two of you spent the evening in peace, with you making Portia pudding as thanks, with her rambles about how her legs are sore here and there.

Muriel:

After many pleas and annoying beggings, you finally made Muriel go out to the market with you. He was a bit nervous since the marketplace was quite crowded that day, so he was surprised when he accidentally bumped into one lady, making her drop all of the goods she had bought.

With constant apologies, he helped her collect the dropped stuff, being careful not to ruin anything again. When he was done, he looked over to you, however, you weren't there. He straightened his posture and started looking for you, being too shy to call out to you or ask anyone for help. Eventually, he hid in one of the back alleys, imagining the worst scenarios.

What if someone hurt you? What if you got lost? What if you abandoned him because he just can't keep up a simple conversation? What if-?

His train of thought was suddenly interrupted by a certain magician giving him the tightest hug ever.

"Where have you been?" you asked, pulling away from him to put on a scarf you've bought for him around his neck, "I just saw this one and thought it would look great on you. Do you like it?"

He touched the sky blue scarf with his fingertips, still, a bit confused from everything that has just happened. After a couple of seconds, he responded with a small nod, returning the hug.

Since then he would always hold your hand wherever the two of you went together, not letting you go out of his sight.

Lucio:

The marketplace was loud and cheerful this lovely evening and it seemed like the two of you were the centre of that noise. Of course, Lucio enjoyed this attention and couldn't stop himself from talking about all of his great battles to the shopkeepers who clearly couldn't care less. You, on the other hand, were not so keen. So when the chance to sneak past him occurred, you quickly did so, wanting to see what that newly opened shop is selling. 

After the thorough monologue about one of his earliest battles, Lucio turned away from an uninterested shopkeeper, looking for your reaction on his marvellous story. Needless to say, he looked shocked when he saw you missing. He shouted for you, storming out of the shop, hoping to find you. The guards that were walking by were immediately appointed to find you. For hours he has been looking for you, checking every shop in hopes to find you. 

After many failed attempts to find you, he assumed the worst, you were kidnapped. He stormed back into the palace, ordering every guard to drop whatever they were doing so that they could find you. 

It was then when the servants informed him that you have long returned to the palace.

You came to the store Lucio was in to find him still talking about his journeys. You knew you had no time nor will make him stop rambling, so you went back to the palace, leaving a crimson cape you bought him on his desk before you went to sleep.

Read all chapters here

[texanredrose]

A Kingdom of Isolation

Blake sniffled, rubbing at her nose with the back of her glove. The further up the mountain they went, the colder it got, snow and ice clinging to every surface as the sudden winter caused wood to snap and previously verdant trees to become frozen sculptures. Were it not for the sleigh and her reindeer, she’d advise turning back as the treacherous journey was to the mountain’s peak too difficult and too long to make on foot.

“Go ahead and ask.”

Her brow furrowed, turning to look at her… customer? Passenger? Surprise travelmate? The Faunus couldn’t quite decide how to describe the Princess who’d essentially bullied her into going up the mountain. At least, not in a flattering way. “Ask what?”

“Come now, you don’t have to be coy.” Princess Weiss huffed, arms crossed over her chest. “I’m sure you’re dying to know. ‘What’s it like living in a castle, what’s it like being a princess, what’s it like’- I’ve heard them all before, so let’s just get it over with and move on with our journey.”

Blake turned towards the woman and raised a quizzical brow, waiting for a beat to see if there would be any indication that her words were meant in jest. When nothing came, the Faunus shrugged and turned her attention back to the reins. “No thanks.”

“What?”

“No thanks.” She tried to sound thoroughly uninterested in the topic to cover the truth: she didn’t need to ask about all that. The specifics of a day in the life of royalty were well known to her. Part of why she’d come to the remote kingdom of Atlas was to escape… well, not quite that, but certain other things related to it. “I’m not that curious.”

“Oh… well, suit yourself… but I’d better not hear any questions after this about it!” The princess wagged a finger in her direction. “This is your only chance.”

“Noted.”

They continued on for a while in silence, Gambol and Shroud pulling the sleigh along at a brisk pace. Not their fastest but certainly better than a walk, as they shared her mentality; one didn’t want to be traveling the mountain after the sun set, as the shadows thrown at night could be either shallow shadows or deep drops. Best not to find out which.

“I suppose you don’t get asked about your own life much, do you?”

“Come again?” Although she hadn’t been thrilled about the job offer, she distinctly recalled Princess Weiss’ demand included only getting her up the mountain, not conversation.

“I’m just saying.” The woman obviously tried to act nonchalant, but there was something hiding just beneath her tone. “You probably don’t talk about yourself much. Not much to talk about outside of ice for an ice harvester.”

“There’s plenty to talk about,” she replied defensively before trying to focus back on the reins. “I don’t just harvest ice.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“I live in a cottage just past the outpost where we met. One I built myself, mind you, and keeping it repaired takes up a lot of time.” She shot the princess a smug smirk. “I don’t have a legion of servants to do things for me.”

“Legion of servants?” Princess Weiss scoffed. “Clearly, you have little idea of what happens in the royal palace.”

As much as she didn’t want to admit it, that piqued her interest. “So, you don’t have anyone seeing to your every whim?”

“I had Klein, my caretaker. Outside of him and my brother, I had no one else.”

“What about your sister?” She gestured towards the top of the mountain. “You had her, didn’t you?”

“I did… when I was younger.” Then, her expression fell into something akin to despair as she unconsciously brushed her bangs away from her clouded and scarred left eye. “But, then, she had to learn how to be a queen, and she didn’t have time to play with me. I understood, of course. It’s an enormous responsibility.”

“Yeah, she’s handling it real well.” Blake dryly remarked, receiving a light punch to her shoulder. “What was that for?”

“It’s not her fault! You have no right criticizing her for- for a moment’s misstep!”

“She plunged the kingdom into the dead of winter when we’re supposed to be in the middle of summer! I think that’s more than ‘a moment’s misstep’, don’t you?”

“Listen, it’s- it’s not-“ The words seemed to catch in the woman’s throat as her expression twisted, guilt and pain flashing in her good eye before she turned to look away. “It’s my fault, alright? I- I shouldn’t have upset her, but I was excited.”

A frown touched Blake’s lips as she glanced towards Princess Weiss. “I’m sure she’ll forgive you.”

“I’m not so confident.”

A solemn silence settled over them and the Faunus didn’t know what to do with it. On the one hand, she shouldn’t feel obliged to comfort someone who’d forced her way into her life. On the other, though, she wasn’t so heartless that she could let someone suffer in silence and not try to help.

“I… don’t know what that’s like. Having siblings.” Blake shifted in her seat. “I had parents- have parents, I guess, since they aren’t dead, we just don’t… talk.” She winced, realizing too late that bringing up the possibility of dead parents may not be the best conversation topic to broach with the somewhat recently bereaved princess. “I… was an only child is my point.”

“Did you… run away from home to become an ice harvester?” The princess turned back towards her and Blake could feel a blush beginning to rise in her cheeks.

“Well, no, I just kinda… ended up becoming one.” Another shrug as she continued, her voice taking on a low, somber tone. “I… made some bad choices when I was younger. Ones I thought my parents wouldn’t be able to forgive me for… so I ran away and ended up in Atlas. Got adopted by some ice harvesters, learned the trade, and… that’s been my life ever since. I… don’t think I could bear what going back would mean.”

“I can understand the mentality,” Princess Weiss replied, her voice soft. “When I did something foolish, Father would… punish me quite severely. Even worse if I cried. I can sympathize with wanting to avoid a beating like that.”

Beneath her beanie, Blake’s ears stood up, her expression turning to one of pure shock and horror. “I- what? No! My father would never lay a hand on me! I meant that I know my parents would be disappointed in me, not that they’d hurt me!”

“Disappointment? That is the fate you fear?” For a moment, the Faunus thought she’d revert to her previous haughty, holier-than-thou attitude but instead found barefaced confusion for a moment before understanding dawned. “I… can see how that would be equally daunting.”

“… really?”

“Yes.” Her head tilted, obviously looking towards the mountain’s summit. “I spent years trying to impress my sister, hoping that if I proved myself worthy, I’d be able to spend time with her. It never worked. I became very familiar with disappointment.” Then, Princess Weiss turned to look at her. “Though, frankly, the experience taught me that the disappointment others express towards us cuts even deeper when we’re disappointed in ourselves as well. When I eventually stopped trying to gain Winter’s attention, it was because I couldn’t bear the weight of my own disappointment any longer… so better not to try.”

Her grip on the reins tightened and she had to consciously force herself to relax as both Gambol and Shroud momentarily picked up the pace, sensing her tension. “Yeah… you have a point…”

Silence settled over them, the crunch of snow and periodic snapping of wood unable to bear the weight of snow and ice alike preceding a branch crashing to the ground.

“What’s it like living this far from the royal city?” Princess Weiss eventually broke the silence, tone wavering slightly, as if she didn’t know how the Faunus might react.

“It’s nice, most of the time. Pristine and beautiful in the winter, and full of life just about every other season. It’s relaxing, being so isolated and away from people.”

“I’m afraid I can’t relate.”

Again, Blake winced, mentally cursing herself for managing to say all the wrong things. “Well, that’s because… you didn’t choose it.”

“Excuse you?”

“I mean… you have a point. What keeps me from going back home is that… I am the one scared to do it. So living out here, away from people… it’s by choice. And since it’s my choice, I don’t regret it.” She made a vague gesture with her hand, dropping one of the reins to do so. “Being away from people, not having to worry about maybe making the same bad choices again… I… I chose to believe and follow someone who made me regret it. Avoiding that happening again… means a lot to me. Maybe it’s not the right answer, but it’s the one I chose. It sounds like… you didn’t choose the way I did.”

“Well, you certainly have a point there.” For a moment, it looked as though she might continue before stopping, her good eye squinting as she twisted around in her seat. “And, unfortunately, it sounds like I’ll be making you regret breaking that isolation sooner rather than later.”

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Even if you’re a bit… much at times, I’m starting to see there’s a real person beneath the title and the attitude.” She reached up, readjusting her beanie cap. “I’m not going to regret meeting you just because it means interacting with someone when I’ve tried not to; that’s not how it works. And. Well. I don’t. Regret meeting you, I mean.”

The woman turned back to her with a deadpan expression. “While I’m glad you’re starting to recognize me as a person, I was actually referring to the wolves now following us and how that’s likely to present a problem that we’re going to regret running into soon.”

Blake tilted her head to the side, then twisted in her seat to find several pairs of golden eyes reflecting the weak light of the rear lantern on the sleigh, their shadowy forms beginning to gain ground on them. “Uh oh.” Turning back around, she picked up the rein and snapped her wrists, sending Gambol and Shroud into a gallop. “Yeah, that’s a problem.”

“You drive, I’ll fend them off,” Princess Weiss said, somehow producing a rapier from the bag she’d been carrying the whole while- a slightly impractical weapon considering the occasion, but a weapon nonetheless- and put a hand on the Faunus’ shoulder while moving into the back row of the sleigh. “And, for the record, I don’t regret meeting you, either. Even if your version of a compliment can be rather… blunt and backhanded.”

Again, she winced. “See, this is why I don’t talk to people; it’s too easy to say the wrong thing!”

“Yes, because talking to reindeer is clearly the more sane option.”

“Reindeer and cats!”

“I should’ve known you’d be a cat person.”

Blake couldn’t help but crack a smile at that. “You don’t know the half of it.”

--- The joke here is that, at this point in the story, Weiss doesn’t know Blake’s a Faunus, because ~canon parallels~.

Also, y’all: “Tex, isn’t this, like, your third continuity of a Frozen AU-“ Me: “LET. ME. LIVE. DAMNIT.”

[mego42]

best of brio hitlist: 1x06

Alrighty here I am back on my bullshit with 1x06 aka A View from the Top. The top of what you may ask? I really can’t remember, s1 has basically all blurred together into a sea of excellent eyeliner and Rio in a hoodie. Guys, did you know at one point Mick had a jacket that fit? I nearly fell off of my couch. What do you think happened to it? 

Let me open this with a serious question: who in the writers room was traumatized by a doctor bc this show has a consistently unkind view of people with medical degrees 

Like obvs yes the lady doc in s3 was lying for justice and puppies and to save Rio from making rash decisions in a fit of dramatics (lol good luck lady that is a fruitless endeavor) or whatever but still, yikes

Anyway lmao @ Beth being like your budget is $1 do what you can to save my trash husband from his trash cancer

Where did that energy go it was so great

Petition for the Hills to do one musical number every other episode 

I’d say every episode but you know they’re just gonna take it from Rio’s screen time 

Such a sartorial mixed bag this scene, on the one hand you have Beth’s hat (awful, work awfully, in total competition with the scarf, not a good look) but on the other you have Annie’s jacket (adorable, I want to bury my face in her hood and never come out)

I CANNOT BELIEVE WE GOT HOODIE RIO 3 EPS IN A ROW

AND NOW WITH A BEANIE??????

I say it again, s1 is god tier

HI MICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did not realize that Rio licking his lips is in reaction to Beth talking about how much money the girls have been turning around for him

He is so horny for money

They were made for each other tbh

Shout out to Ruby’s hysterically unsurprised face when Beth swerves and asks for more money instead of quitting that is the face of someone who has been on this ride for Way Too Long

Ruby: in hindsight we should’ve never let Beth talk I see that now

GO BIG OR GO HOME RIGHT what a nerd I love her

Ruby: I am actually going to commit murder here and now

“Brought that mama van with you?” Why is this so hot I don’t understand nothing about it should be sexual least of all minivans

The way Beth straightens up and gives that perky little I did good!!!!!! nod is so fucking cute I want to punch myself in the face

YOU CANT JUST SERVE A BITCH A MINI MUFFIN AND ASK HER TO JOIN YOU IN A LIFE OF CRIME

A CLASSIC!!!!!!!!!!

Cut to Ruby serving a bitch a mini muffin, I really do love this show

HI TYLER!!!!!!!!!

Okay now there’s like, a preteen girl Boland child??!!! Where are these children coming from?????? Where do they go????????

I’m going to say something potentially controversial: I’m deeply unmoved by and largely uninterested in the whole thing with Annie and Boomer’s racist grandma 

Tyler: you can just call corporate right???? It’s not like this is a poorly thought through farce of a pyramid scheme with holes big enough to drive a bus through right?????????

It has been driving me bonkers since the first time I watched this ep trying to figure out who Christine Hendricks looks like in the brunette wig someone please put me out of my misery and tell me

Hey!!! Did you know I fucking hate Dean??????? 

I have mixed feelings on the sit down/that’s exactly what happened thing like on the one hand I love watching Beth effortlessly play Dean, but on the other the knowledge that the breathy baby doll voice she uses does it for him makes my skin crawl

I violently do not like when the Hills have conflict so I am electing to ignore it entirely

I missed everything that happened during the Boomer scene(s) because I was looking at Schitt’s Creek gifsets and I stand by my choices

I find the girls sitting on the swings weirdly endearing and I also really adore the framing of that shot

Seriously do not understand why they did away with everyone dragging Dean it was such a great feature

‘CUZ YOU DELIVERED

GOD!!!!! I LOVE!!!!!!! THE SMILES!!!!!!!!!!!

Rio: (✿◕ ﺮ ◕)

Beth: (◠‿◠✿)

Mick, Ruby and Annie: right???? in front?????? of our salad????????

My ultimate gg kink is, to no one’s surprise least of all my own, Beth surprising and impressing Rio and Rio instantly getting a boner over it

I would like to formally request they bring back this dynamic in some way shape or form specifically as a present to me bc I deserve it

In Beth and Ruby’s defense, the flip my game speech makes minimal sense, there were several poorly supported leaps

Shout out to Annie’s blazer and side boob, it is my all time fav Annie look

hey look my icon

Stan smelling the cash and goofing around with Ruby: 😍

Knowing Ruby’s still lying and it’s all gonna fall apart: 😥

I don’t think I properly realized until right now, as I’m nearly blinded by my tears of mirth over Dean saying “he’s never going to mess with you again, not on my watch” how much I love the dress Beth is wearing

This has been a very fashionable ep for the Marks sisters, Beth’s hat aside

The it was a choice speech would slap so much harder if Beth finished it off by stabbing Dean in the eye with a pair of scissors instead of dumping a bunch of money all over him

Takeaway from this episode: honestly it’s no wonder Beth is so bad at being a crime lord she had a horrible teacher that speech was truly insensible 

[emilyschoi]

Emily Choi College Au

“If I have to hear another Mariah Carey song I will lose my mind,” Daniel deadpanned emotionlessly sliding two hot chocolates towards Emily and Eunmi. Eunmi hummed in agreement stirring her hot chocolate around. Emily frowned she was hoping that Daniel might have stopped hating Christmas so much this year.

“At least it’s not carolers,” Emily said optimistically, hoping some of her good cheer will rub off onto him. Daniel face scrunched up in disgust pretty much spitting out the words carolers.  

“Nah he already scared all of them away,” M spoke as he passed by. “Regular little grinch that one is,” he said, tilting his head towards Daniel who growled in response.

“They are lucky could walk out of here,” Daniel muttered. “Remind me again why I cannot kill the carolers?” He asked in a sing-song voice. 

“We will lose money”

“You look like if you got punched once you’d run away crying”

“Because it’s illegal”

“None of those seem like legitimate reasons and screw you Eunmi I could totally kill someone,” Daniel huffed sound a little too offended about someone not thinking he was a murderer.  “And I am taking my break now,” he said dragging an empty chair from a nearby table over to Emily’s table.

“Hi, Daniel why don’t you join us,” Eunmi said sarcastically with a roll of her eyes. Emily giggled as Daniel poked his tongue at her. “Really mature Choi,” Mini muttered. “How is he still employed?” she said turning to M, “Like he can’t make coffee, is rude to customers and has turned your storage room into the red light district,” she listed as Daniel let an affronted huff. 

“I am not that bad!” Daniel said in response, “At least i didn’t put mistletoe up everywhere turning the cafe into some overly cheery kissing booth,  unlike some people,” he huffed, eyes narrowed at M. Emily patted his shoulder in support. 

“Hey that was Sungjae thank you very much,” M said, “Not my fault he is looking for excuses to kiss his girlfriend,” he added putting the blame fully on his best friend. 

“Oh yeah like you don’t want to get the blonde 7 under one those sticks,” Daniel said rolling his eyes. “God if you people want to kiss someone just kiss them,” he said. M shook his head walking away. Emily pouted, silently hoping M got his girl because he was a sweetheart and deserved some love.

“You can tell he has been hanging around his frat boy too much because apparently consent isn’t a thing anymore,” Eunmi said rolling her eyes and taking a sip off her chocolate. 

“Honestly out of everyone you picked her to be your best friend, why?” Daniel said scrunching his nose up. “Her presence is annoying me so much I’d rather get back to work,” he huffed but made no move to get back to work. “Should have figured a 5 would be like that,” he said haughtily earning a nudge from Emily. 

“Don’t be rude Daniel, Mimi is easily an 8,” Emily sending finger hearts to her best friend who was pretending she was embarrassed by it but she still was smiling widely. 

“You are too nice to lesser numbers love,” Daniel said shaking his head in mock disappointment. “You shouldn’t give them too much hope,” he added. Emily rolled her eyes sometimes (all the time) Daniel could be a real asshole. 

“Oh yeah, and what is Em in your eyes,” Eunmi asked. Emily frowned not at her friend's question, she was far too used to Daniel ranking people to his personal standards so whatever number he gave her wouldn’t matter, but at the fact, Daniel’s ‘boyfriend’ had shown up and was making his way over.

“Out of 10? An 11 clearly,” Daniel said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Emily couldn’t stop the grin that broke out on her face, Daniel may be an asshole to everyone else but he was the sweetest pseudo big brother to her. 

“Who is an 11?” Tyler Lee asked making his presence known causing everyone at their table to scowl. He leaned against Daniel’s chair resting his head on Daniel’s shoulder, pressing a kiss to Daniel’s cheek. Emily's nose scrunched up, she didn’t think she would ever get used to Daniel dating someone - (if that was what he was doing, she had heard very conflicting stories.) especially someone like Tyler who in Emily’s opinion was a little too arrogant for Daniel which was a very hard level of arrogant to reach all things considered.  

“None of your business,” Daniel snapped, “And 8’s really shouldn’t eavesdrop,” he said eyes narrowing as he flicked at Tyler’s nose. 

“An 8? Hilarious, you should consider becoming a comedian babe,” Tyler said rolling his eyes, “And are you ready to go?” he asked standing up, looking at his phone and frowning. “We need to get going before the rush happens? You know how i hate it when peasants think they can walk into high-end shops,” he said. Emily and Eunmi shared a look both shaking their heads, how did a person like that actually exist.

“Go? where?” Daniel asked twisting around in his chair a confused look on his face.

“Christmas shopping,” Tyler said with a grin. Emily chocked, happy she had yet to take a sip of her chocolate because if she had she was sure it would be covering Eunmi right now. Daniel doesn’t Christmas anything, especially not shop. The only time he had from Emily’s memories is the time she begged him to take when she was 11, and for that to happen she had to use fake tears and the promise to help him prank Jessica.

Daniel starred at Tyler before breaking out into laughter. “Oh you hot deluded fool, I don’t go Christmas shopping, why would even think that?” he said mockingly turn back around. 

“Because you agreed rather enthusiastically when I asked, I have proof right here,” he said holding his phone up smirking at Daniel who once again turned around an annoyed look on his face. 

“Proof? Show me then?” Daniel said raising an eyebrow. “ Because this all seems like bullshit if you ask me, i can’t even remember you asking me to go shopping with you let alone agreeing to it,” he ranted. 

“You really want me to show you, even though there are children present,” he said gesturing to Emily and Eunmi. 

“Fucking asshole,” Eunmi muttered under her breathe. 

“Go ahead baby,” Daniel deadpanned. Emily wished he hadn’t because a few seconds the cafe was filled with the record noises of Daniel moaning. She was glad that only Daniel could see the visuals because she was pretty sure she couldn’t handle bleaching her brain and her eyes. 

“You dick,” Daniel said turning the video off and locking Tyler’s phone. “Excuse us,” he said to Emily and Eunmi as he stood up and pushed Tyler away. Emily frowned watching as they went behind the counter and into the storage closest, hearing M shout out that they couldn’t go in there it was out of order. 

“Frat boys are disgusting,” Eunmi said after a second, “ I never thought i would say this but even Daniel deserves better than that,” she said. 

“Trust me they deserve each other,” M said coming over to them. “I can’t be near that closest when they are in there, my ears can’t take anymore,” he said shaking his head. “So do you mind if i join you two, they are going to be in there a while trust me,” he said. 

“Isn’t Daniel just telling him off?” Emily asked.

“Oh you sweet girl,” M said shaking his head. “I hate that i have to do this but trust me a telling off isn’t what is happening, apparently arguing is an aphrodisiac for those two,” he said nose scrunching up. Emily's face scrunched up as well. That was gross, there were other people here.

“M would you be able to put my hot chocolate in a to-go cup because i am pretty sure i am gonna have to do a runner after this,” Emily said standing up. “I’ll put an end to this once and for all,” she said dramatically, eyes narrowed. “Or at least for today,” she added after a moment. “Excuse me,” she said stomping over to the godforsaken storage cupboard. Too absorbed in her mission she didn’t notice a group of boys walking into the cafe and sitting at a table nearby. 

Emily knocked against the door with as forcefully she could. She smirked when heard a bang followed by Tyler cursing. “Don’t stop on my behalf,” she said. “I was just letting Daniel Mimi and I are leaving,” Emily called out. 

“Okay bye love you see tomorrow,” she heard Daniel call out between pants. Emily’s nose wrinkled up in disgust. They couldn’t even stop for a second.

“Aaaand,” she drawled out. “To say you really inspired me, Daniel, thanks to your relationship I’ve decided to find a frat boy of my own to hook up with and scar poor innocent barista with, so what frat would you recommend looking at first?”  She asked sounding fat too innocently for the subject matter.

“You don’t have to look, my friend right here volunteers,” A boy called out causing Emily to spin around on the spot. Her eyes widened as she noticed her audience had grown from Eunmi, M and several seemingly uninterested customers to all of those plus a group of first-year frat pledges apparently. Her jaw dropped and her cheeks heated up, well that wasn’t what she expected. “Seriously Luc-“ a second boy stopped mid-sentence as the third boy judged him before slipping down in his chair trying to hide. Emily’s shock turned into horror when she recognised the third boy. It was Lucas aka the cute basketball boy with the nice arms she met on her tour of the campus. 

This was just her luck. Was god really cruel enough to punish her for cockblocking Daniel and Tyler?

“She isn’t looking for any boy,” Daniel sneered appearing behind significantly more dishevelled, glaring at the group. 

M who Emily assumed had who grown accustomed to dealing with Daniel when he was in this mood. Raced over handing Emily her hot chocolate. “Right here you go,”  before turning. “Don’t you have Christmas shopping to go get ready for,”  he said side-eyeing Daniel’s who face completely fell at the prospect a muttered stupid hot boyfriend escaping his lips.

M mouthed go to her while Daniel wasn’t looking and Emily didn’t waste time racing for the door Eunmi wasn’t far behind her.

“Did you grab my bag,” Emily asked looking at Eunmi who sheepishly looked to the ground as she shook her head. “Damn it, can you go in and get it?” Emily asked trying to use those puppy eyes she has heard Sungjae talk about. Any normal day she would have left it knowing Daniel would return it or M would keep it stored somewhere safe but she had a group study session and film studies essay due by the end of the day.

“No way I am not going in there now it’s overrun with frat boys, you know that isn’t good for my general health,” she said as  Emily’s eyes narrowed at her friend's silly excuse. “And seriously Em puppy eyes I am a cat person,” she added.

“I can’t go back in there,” Emily snapped. 

“Scissors, Paper, Rock it then?” Eunmi offered holding out her hand. Emily sighed holding her free hand out in agreement.

“Scissors! Paper! Rock!” They both said at the same time. Emily looked down at their hands pouting as she saw Eunmi held scissors out defeating her paper. Honestly, what had she done to deserve this?

“Good luck,” Eunmi said parting Emily on the back. 

Emily shrugged her off, turning to glare at her one last time before walking back into the coffee shop. She didn’t get past the door when she collided into someone spilling her chocolate all over them.

“Oh my god I am so sorry, I was just in a rus-“ she stopped mid-sentence seeing Lucas staring down at her. She clearly could never show her face around here again. She was suddenly so thankful she wore her down today so she could use it has a curtain to hide her face. He didn’t need to see that she was bright red or how she was trying to ignore the stinging in her eyes. Honestly, how many times could she embarrass herself in front of her crush on one day? 

“It’s okay, I was actually looking for you, Emily right?” he asked. Emily was embarrassed but not enough to stop her from speeding up when he said her name. “I think this belongs to you,” he said holding out her backpack. 

“Yes, thank y-“ she was cut off by Lucas’s friends from earlier, one was wolf-whistling while the other was singing obnoxiously singing Justin Bieber’s mistletoe. 

No no no, Emily thought as she looked up above her only to find mistletoe hanging down taunting her. The friend the was whistling now had stopped and instead was chanting kiss her, kiss her.

“Get away from my cousin if you want to live,” she heard Daniel growl from behind the boys. Oh, could this get any worse?

“Babe calm down it is just a kiss let the kids have their fun,” she heard Tyler reply back. Why was he even here and commenting didn’t have a sister’s love life he could be ruining instead of hers.

“Not everyone’s younger sibling wants to sleep with some disgusting frat boy but I know you can’t relate to that hun because Ta-“ Daniel said in a fake sweet tone.

“Don’t finish that sentence” Tyler growled. “And besides that Emily pretty much said she wanted to hook up with one so -“ Tyler trailed off.

Emily started to back away hoping Daniel and Tyler’s argument was distracting enough that no one would notice her leave.

“She was just saying that she is a virgin for fuck sakes you think any girl would want to lose their vcard to the likes of you lot,” Daniel said. 

“Oh my god why,” Emily whined as the attention fell back on her. Throwing trying to be stealth away she instead bolted away from the shop, feeling more embarrassed than she ever thought possible.

“I am still mad at you,” Emily pouted, eyes flickering from her notebook to Eunmi as she sat down across from her.

Emily had spent the last three hours hiding working in the library. Away from the majority of the world considering most people were in holiday mode. 

“I know I am sorry,” Eunmi said, “I should have gone into the cafe for you or just grabbed your backpack in the first place since I know about your misplaced crush on Lionel,” Eunmi said. Emily looked up again raising an eyebrow at her. “Fine, Lucas,” Eunmi spat out. Emily whimpered at the name a fresh wave of embarrassment washing over her. 

“If it helps I told Jessica that Daniel embarrassed you -“ Eunmi said stoping as Emily let out another whine. “Don’t worry I didn’t tell her the details but she said she will kick his ass for you or at the very least lock him out of their dorm- maybe both,” Eunmi shrugged. Emily smiled at the thought of her sister beating Daniel up, he deserved it.

“And I made you cupcakes, there are twelve of your favourites and six for Jessica and even some for Daniel,” she said placing a large Christmas gift bag in front of Emily. Peaking in the bag there was a large plastic container filled with cupcakes.

“Why would you make Daniel some?” Emily asked raising an eyebrow and closing her notebook.

“Well, his cupcakes are the ones that are particularly festive and well in an attempt to fatten him up since he deserves it,” Eunmi said with a wicked smile.

“You know he won’t eat them right? He’d probably just give to Tyler or Joshua, probably Tyler since he and Josh are no longer talking,” Emily said. “But props to you for having perhaps the most wholesome way of being evil I have ever seen,” she said causing Eunmi to grin.

“So how was the group project study session thing?” Eunmi asked causing Emily to groan again. She hated group projects with a burning passion. Why teachers thought they were a good thing was beyond her? Did they not realise how stressful they were for Em, her grade that she has worked so hard to maintain could be ruined because some idiots didn’t put any effort in. “That bad huh?” Eunmi frowned. 

“Only Marcus showed up and he is a nice guy but really” Emily trailed she was a strong believer that if you had nothing nice to then don’t say it.

“Weird? Creepy?” Eunmi offered, shaking her head at the thought of him.

“No that’s mean, he is just unique,” Emily said sheepishly.

“Which is code for hella weird,” Eunmi smirked. “So the rest of the group just didn’t show up? Did they at least give you an excuse?” she asked. Emily shook her head, they didn’t even bother to let her know they weren’t going to show up.

 It was just her day, one of those days that reminds you that the human race was inherently selfish and deeply flawed. Even the most positive people had moments of wishing that those people suffered in the worst ways. Not that she was thinking like that, no way not even when heard one of their groups had ditched them to, in  Marcus words hook up with someone. 

“Damn,” Eunmi whistled. “I can stay with you while you work on your essay if you want, a little company never hurt,” she offered. Emily smiled at her weekly, Eunmi’s company would hurt, she loved her best friend she really did but she was a chatterbox. Especially now that she wanted to make Emily feel better. Plus Emily already knew she had something planned, a party for her track team friends. 

“Mimi we both know you have plans and by the looks of it you spent the afternoon baking just to cheer me up,” Emily said a small smile on her face. “You should go to your Christmas party, I will be fine,”  she added. Eunmi frowned opening her mouth to speak but getting stopped by Emily, “Eunmi Kim i swear if you don’t go i will still Ghibli movie collection and give them to… Tyler,” she said, that was the worst person she could think of on such short notice.

“Ew, fine, not because of your threat but because i deserve a night out awkwardly watching and judging my team members,” she said. “I mean have a totally awesome fun time,” Eunmi said noticing the ways Emily’s brows furrowed.  “But you will call me if you need me right? And head home before it gets too late, i know you think the boys on campus are harmless but -” she trailed off. 

“I will,” Emily said with a mock salute. “Now leave me to finish this essay before I lose my mind,” she said. Eunmi sighed turning away from Emily walking slower than normal. Emily smiled at her, cheekily waving as Eunmi turned to check one last time.

Once Eunmi was out of the library Emily turned back to her work, she would finish this essay and hopefully get top marks for it and then spend the rest of her life hiding out in her dorm or maybe becoming a nun she hadn’t decided yet.

Lost in her work Emily didn’t realize how much time had passed until she had finished. Looking up she looked out the window to see it was already dark. She looked to her computer seeing it was around 8.30, where had the time gone. She quickly packed her things grabbing her backpack and the Christmas bag full of cupcakes and grabbing all the books she had to put away before she left and balancing them with one hand.

She walked down the library, putting back in their places.  She froze when she heard what sound like a snore, twirling around looking around the library she spotted a lone figure about three tables away from where she was. She tried not to laugh at this person who was fast asleep on the table. She was about to move on from the person until she noticed a hot chocolate stained jacket on the chair beside him.

Why him of all people? 

Emily moved carefully trying not to draw attention to herself as walked down putting books back on the shelf. Glancing back at Lucas every now and then, just to make sure he hadn’t woken up not because she thought he looked cute asleep.  

Maybe she could leave him a cupcake to say sorry for the hot chocolate. That wouldn’t hurt anyone, she had plenty of cupcakes and it was a small way to apologize without actually ever having to interact with him again. A win-win for everyone.

Emily walked over to him placing a cupcake on the table beside him. She frowned, she should probably leave a note or something just so that he knows it is an apology and not just a random cupcake appearing out of nowhere. She frowned looking around the table grabbing his pen and ripping a piece of his notebook to write her message. She wished she hadn’t packed all her things away she could have left him her message on a cute piece paper or post-it note. 

“Is that your number?” A voice asked causing Emily to jump, dropping the pen against the table with a thud. 

“What the hell?” she said clutching her chest to see Lucas watching her with his head resting against his hands, a sleepy smile on his face.

“It was an apology,” she muttered looking down, “for the hot chocolate,” she said gesturing to his jacket on the chair

“And the cupcake?” he asked reaching out. “Did you bake for me?” he asked if Emily didn’t not better he sound almost hopeful.

“Part of the apology and no my friend made them, I can’t cook,  well i can sort but only those cake mixes out of the box but she is like a baking goddess,” she rambled, flushing at the fact Lucas was still staring at her. 

“Well thank you,” he said. “I need something to help me get through this,” he said gesturing to his textbook. Emily frowned eyeing it curiously. Forensic Science and Technology. “I thought the sciences were finished for the year,” she said covering her mouth as she said it aloud. 

Lucas nodded as he devoured the cupcake only stopping quickly to throw off the wrapping. “They have but i am an idiot so I have to do this makeup assignment to stay in the class or well the university i guess,” he said after he had finished. 

“You aren’t an idiot,” Emily said softly. 

Lucas smiled brightly at that before tilting his head seemingly thinking about something. “You know my jacket cost a couple hundred dollars,” he said causing Emily to frown. 

“Wait really?” Emily said in shock, looking at the jacket with an eyebrow raised. It looked like a hoodie, just a normal hoodie. Certainly not something that cost a hundred dollars. 

“Yup and the cupcake was a good starting point but i was thinking you could help me, you are a smart right?” he said. “I mean you look intelligent,” he said as Emily looked on waiting for him to get his point. He wasn’t going to ask her to do his assignment, she knew nothing about forensic science except what she saw on Law and Order. “You have that study blog thing where you post your notes looking all pretty right?” he asked.

Emily should have left when she had the chance now she had to live with the fact her crush knows she runs a study blog. “How did you even find that out?” she asked, her name wasn’t on the account and she didn’t even use her normal email. 

“That’s for me to know,” Lucas said with a grin. “Could you help me? Like if my notes looked as good as yours, I am sure I would pass more classes,”  he said “You could tutor me!” he added excitedly.

“I mean maybe that would help but this is probably wrong of me to say and definitely none of my business but have you ever thought of maybe not being on both the football and basketball team?” she said timidly. 

“I know but i don't want to let anyone down you know?” Lucas said pouting. Emily wanted to swoon at how cute he looked. 

“I am sure you wouldn’t, they would understand,” she said softly.  Lucas shrugged not agreeing or disagreeing with her. “I guess I can help you out since I do owe you but i am not sure i will be much of a tutor,” she muttered but Lucas must have her heard her because his whole demeanour changed. 

“Really?”He said excitedly and loud enough for it to echo. 

“But can we start another time, my roommate starts to panic if i am out too late, she says she can’t trust people on this campus and -” she trailed off. This time she was embarrassing herself, why would she mention that to him?  He probably thinks she is some little girl who is afraid of the dark and can’t do anything by herself.

“She is right especially that weirdo Marcus, why were you hanging out with him anyway?” Lucas said shaking his head. Emily brows furrowed how did he? How long had he been here? She didn’t get to ask because he started packing his things. “Right just give me a second and we can go,” he said to her. 

“Go where?” she asked dumbly.

“To your dorm? I am gonna walk you home to make sure you get there safe, it's the least i can do since you agreed to help me out plus we can figure out when can meet up on the way,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Oh you don’t have to leave because of me,” Emily said. 

“I am not well i am but i have basketball practice in -” he paused looking at his watch “Half an hour,” he said with a grin. “So the walk would be a good warm-up,” he said bouncing on the spot. 

“My dorm and the gym are on opposite sides of the campus,” Emily pointed out.  “You really don’t have to go out of your way,” she said. She would hate to be the reason he was late to practice. 

“I know i want to,” he said with a grin, “Plus if i am late it gives the other guys a chance to shine,” he laughed a cocky grin on his face. “Here,” he said handing Emily his hundred dollar hoodie. 

“Oh, do you want me to wash it?” Emily asked looking down at the hoodie.

“No it's freezing out there and your cardigan doesn’t look that warm so -,” he trailed off scratching the back of his neck. “You should keep warm,” he said. 

“You want me to wear this?” Emily squeaked. Lucas nodded in response causing Emily’s face to heat up. “Uh, i -” she started but stopped noticing the look on Lucas’s face it was different from any other look she had seen before. “Thanks?” she offered before pulling the hoodie on. 

“Perfect let's go,” Lucas said grabbing her hand, Emily froze once again. They were apparently at the stage where they could hold hands. This morning they were strangers and now they were friends? Acquaintances that held hands and shared stained hoodies. Was that a thing?

“So which is your dorm?” Lucas asked once they got outside.

“I’ll lead the way,” Emily laughed dragging him in the opposite direction of where he was headed.

[movieexpert1978]

Upgrade Pt. 3

Another chapter for the story. I’ve been typing away all weekend as I got off of work. Hope you guys enjoy it and please leave some feedback. I’d love to know what you guys think!!!

Pt 3: Elisa learns to be a hunter warrior with Ido. 

Alita battle angle and it’s characters are not my characters. 

The first night Ido and Elisa went out it, they didn’t catch any marks. After a few hours of travelling down dark alleys they went home.

“So are you a doctor or not?” Elisa asks confused as they walk.

“Yes I am a doctor, but when night falls and the insomnia hits I go out as a hunter warrior.” He explains.

“A hunter warrior?”

“Yes or a bounty hunter. We kill marks and collect bounties.” He says. He brings her up to a monitor that shows the data on the current marks.

“Oh…you kill for money.” She says.

“I take the money and use it to make sure the clinic stays open, otherwise it would have closed long ago.” He adds with a sigh.

“Are there others like you…hunter warriors?” She asks.

“Yes, plenty more. Most of them are not as…how should I put it…morally pleasing as I am.” He smirks.

“You mean some just do it for the money?”

“Exactly.”

“What’s in your case?” He kneels down and opens it, showing her all sorts of parts. She watches as he connects some pieces one by one and it forms a giant hammers. “This is my weapon of choice. It’s a rocket hammer.” He says proudly. She stares at him puzzled as he holds a trigger down and blue flame bursts out of one end. He swings it to the ground and makes a decent size hole. “It adds more power so I can take care of marks faster.” He explains. He releases the trigger and the flame disappears before he takes it apart and puts it back in the case.

“Why not use a gun?” She asks. He can’t help but burst out laughing.

“Oh my dear girl, guns are out-lawed in Iron city, punishable by death. They don’t want any weapons made that could challenge Zalem in any way. I would have thought you knew that.” He says.

“I never trained with guns.” She says.

“Well that explains it.” He mutters. They go back home and go their separate ways for the night. The next morning Elisa goes out and studies all the marks carefully before she goes around the city to try and find their trail. She has a few leads by the time she comes back before dinner. That night she leads him along and they come up on a team of marks. The three of them are armed and dangerous as they glare at Elisa and Ido.

“You better back away old man and take your little girlfriend here with one.” One of them says flashing a knife. Elisa doesn’t flinch and her eyes change color. The men looked spooked as no cyborg has ever done that before. Before Ido can make a swing Elisa snarls, baring her fangs. The mark with the knife charges at her. Ido watches with both curiosity and fright as he wonders what she will do. He tries to swing the knife at her, but she catches his wrist and breaks it easily making him shout in pain. She grabs the top of his head and her fingertips have turned into claws, which are glow blue, as she swipes his throat. His head cut clean off from his body. She drops the head as the second mark charges. He is more cyborg with mechanical arms as he tries to swing at Elisa. He’s stopped when she grabs his throat, crushing it instantly, before he punches him in the face and send him smashing into a wall. His body cracks and crumbles as he falls over lifeless. The last mark is almost right at Elisa when she catches him. She shoves one arm away as she manages a punch to his face. It doesn’t do the damage she expected as he bleeds blue cyborg. She frowns before she grabs him and shoves him into the stone wall head first, knocking his head clean off.

The fight is over in under three minutes.

“My god.” Ido whispers to himself. She glances over at him.

“Did I do good?” She asks him. He just stares at her for a moment trying to figure out why she said that when it was quite obvious she did.

“You did…amazing.” He says sincerely as he walks up to her.

“Really?” She gasps.

“Yes.” He chuckles.

“Thank you!” She says giving him a smile before she collects herself. Judging by her behavior, he’s sure she wasn’t praised often and probably sent back to her room or something when her training routine was over. They go to the factory to collect the money and go home.

“Here.” Ido says handing her a few credits. She stares at them as if he’s just put a bomb in her hand.

“Why are you giving these to me? Don’t you need them for the clinic?” She says holding them back up to him.

“Yes but you took them down. You earned it.” He says.

“What do I do with it?”

“Whatever you want. You could buy something for yourself or save them. It’s up to you.” He explains gently.

“Oh…ok…thank you Doctor.” She nods.

“You don’t have to keep calling me that.” He smiles. She only nods as she puts the credits on the table and goes to the couch to sleep.

Xxxxxxxx

Another pattern emerges as Elisa goes out in the day time to look for marks and when she finally catches a trail she and Ido go hunting. One night he reluctantly brings Alita along. Even then Elisa is too fast for even Alita to catch up with.

“Now that was cool!” Alita grins when the fight is over.

“Uuhh…thank you.” Elisa says to her as Alita gives her a thumbs up. Not to mention that she was glad Elisa did most of the fighting and Ido didn’t come home all battered and bloody any more. They soon had enough money for things to be comfortable for a little while, but Elisa still went out to walk Iron city anyway. She was just leaving the clinic when a woman with dark hair and elegant clothing walked up to her and she had the mark of Zalem.

“You’re from Zalem!” She gasps coming right up to the woman.

“Who are you!?” She snaps at Elisa in disgust.

“Subject Ten E a.k.a Elisa Prime, humble servant to Nova and Zalem.” Elisa repeats. The woman blinks in surprise as Elisa shows her tattooed 10 E. She stares at it for a moment before she looks up at Elisa studying her.

Ido glances out the window and sees Chiren talking to Elisa. That was not a good sign and he hurries out.

“Chiren.” He calls out as he hurries over to them.

“Let me guess you found her in the scrap yard too?” Chiren says unamused.

“Yes, but Elisa is human. She’s not a cyborg.” He says.

“I know.” Chiren says looking at Ido.

“Elisa this is my ex-wife Chiren.” He says, introducing them.

“Can you get me Zalem?” Elisa asks.

“If I could get back to Zalem I wouldn’t be here.” Chiren states unamused. He can tell her words sting Elisa a little bit, but then she looks back and forth between her and Ido.

“Ex-wife…wait you were on Zalem too?” Elisa asks.

“Have fun.” Chiren smirks before she walks away. Ido suspects she was going to talk to him again about returning to the motorball games, but now that she’s seen Elisa something obviously changed. Chiren knows a lot more about Nova’s activities thanks to Vector. Who knows what kind of things they were making in that lab scientist laboratory they had. Ido guides Elisa back inside.

“Yes I was on Zalem too. Chiren and I were exiled many years ago.” He says.

“Why?”

“I’d rather not talk about it.” He says.

“You displeased Nova.” She frowns.

“So did you.” He nearly snaps at her as he collects himself.

“Hey what’s going on?” Alita says sensing tension.

“Chiren was here.” Ido mutters.

“Oh…you don’t want to be around her. You can’t trust her…or did you not feel that in her energy.” Alita teases waving her hands and making Elisa frown.

“Actually…she felt a little cold now that mention it.” Elisa says.

“I’m not surprised.” Ido sighs. “Look, please just stay away from her. The people she works with…they’re not good people. They’re selfish and only do what’s best for them no matter who they hurt.” He says gravely. Elisa isn’t sure about what to make with his words, so she only nods.

“Hey I see you got some credits. Why don’t I take you to the market to get something?” Alita suggests, happily changing the subject.

“Ok.” She nods and follows Alita out. She’s not really sure what to get for a while as Alita makes suggestions.

“Oooh! Why don’t you get this bag?” She says holding it up. It was a simple black over the shoulder strap back, but it was nice and big and had a lot of pockets. Elisa looks it over. “You have to have something to put your credits in for starters.” She adds encouragingly. Elisa nods in understanding and purchases it.

“Thank you.” Elisa says to her.

“You’re welcome.” She says giving her a big smile.

Xxxxxxxxx

“We have a situation.” Chiren says to Vector.

“And what’s that?” He asks very much uninterested.

“I need to talk to Nova.” She says.

“What…oh come on!” He protests before his eyes turn blue. “And how can I be of assistance Doctor?” Nova says even though it’s Vector’s voice.

“Subject Ten E a.k.a Elisa Prime.”

“Ooh, I see.” He nods.

“Who is she?” Chiren asks. Nova sits at Vector’s computer and starts typing a few things. He puts in a flash drive and after a few minutes he takes it out and hands it to her.

“She was the most promising subject we had. She had spectacular results. She was responding so well to all the training and stresses we subjected her to, but when we started the next stage things went haywire.” Nova says leaning on the desk.

“What did you do? Give her steroids or something?” Chiren smirks, that’s so primitive even for Nova.

“No, we were on the verge of a breakthrough in genetic mutation. We had only altered her DNA in small ways, but this…this was going to change it all completely.” He says.

“I take it she didn’t react to it well.”

“It’s on that drive. All of her files on are that drive.” He explains.

“Do you want me to do anything with her?”

“No, not yet. I want to see what else she does.” He says.

“Anything else?”

“Don’t help her. She’ll come looking for you, but don’t help her. I want to see her out in the wild.” He says before he leaves Vector stumbling around and clutching his head.

“This better be good.” He mutters to Chiren.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

To try and distract her from trying to find Chiren, Ido helped Elisa register as a hunter warrior. When she came out she showed in her ID card and he gave her a proud smile.

“Is it ok I still go out with you?” She asked nervously.

“Of course!” He says wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “You’re always welcome to come with me.” He says as they walk down the steps. “You don’t have to be nervous when you ask me a question. I’m not going to get mad at you. I know you have a lot to learn here.” He says sincerely.

“Thank you.” She says gently.

“Come on, let me show you a place where all the hunter warriors go.” He says. They go to the Kansas bar where some of the other hunter warriors smirk at them, but otherwise leave them be. ‘Oh great…Zapan is here,’ Ido thinks to himself. He does his best to ignore the big shot and orders a drink for the two of them.

“What is this?” She asks looking at the glass.

“It’s whisky…try it.” He says taking a small sip. Elisa copies him and she grimaces at the taste as it burns her throat. Ido can’t help but chuckle. After a moment her throat feels warm and her body seems to tingle a little bit.

“What’s this feeling?”

“It’s called a buzz. People like it a lot and that’s why they drink alcohol, which is what whisky is. You have to be careful though because if you drink too much you’ll get drunk and feel lousy the next morning.” Ido smirks as he’s done that all too often after Chiren left.

“Who says that’s a bad thing doc?” Zapan says coming up behind Elisa. She turns and glares at him.

“Uhhh…Zapan you might want to give her some space.” Ido warns her.

“Got another one from the scrap yard did you?” He smirks with his accent. Elisa looks him over quickly. He’s a total replacement cyborg for starters, wearing black leather pants and boots and not much else. He has a sword on his belt as well. A normal woman might think him rugged and handsome as he spent a lot of money on his face to look so. A piece of metal was on the center of his chin and he had a Mohawk. His metal looked good too and she hadn’t even seen the skull pattern on his back yet, but she didn’t care anyway. “You on a date with the doc here?” He teases.

“No.” She says even though she doesn’t know what a date is, so she show’s her badge.

“Oooh how cute.” He laughs as she tucks it back into her pocket. “And uhhhh…how many people you killed deary?” He mocks getting closer. Ido just frowns, knowing Zapan is going to get it sooner or later.

“I killed three marks on my first hunt with Ido.” She says.

“Wait…oh no!” He laughs. “So you’re the one people are talking about. Is it true that you can grow fangs and smash people into walls?” He jokes waving his arms.

“I don’t know…maybe.” She growls. Her eyes change color and she snarls at him with her fangs bared making Zapan yelp and jump back, falling flat on his ass.

“What the hell?” He gasps.

“Now go away.” She says flashing her claws that are glowing blue. His jaw nearly unhinges as he gets up. Some of the other patrons look at her in shock.

“You sure know how to pick the freaks doc.” Zapan says before he gets up and walks out. Her eyes return to normal and she recognizes the fear in their eyes. She turns away quickly and downs her drink, ignoring the burn it gives her.

“I’m sorry…but can we go now please?” Elisa asks Ido quietly. He nods in understanding. He finishes his drink and tips the bartender before the go home.

“Are you alright?” Ido asks before he goes to his room.

“I’m fine.” She nods quietly. She keeps her back to him as she curls up on the couch. When she hears his bedroom door close she finally allows a few tears to roll down her face.

[miss-eucatastrophe]

Chapter 17: Threat

Pairing: Bucky x PlusSize!OFC/Serum!OFC (Can also be read as a Bucky X Reader fic. Your name is Cassandra. You’re welcome you beautiful bitch).

Summary:Trying to integrate into “normal” life, Bucky slowly falls into a routine. Wake up, run, gaze at the woman who works in the toy store as he passes by, eat, mission, sleep, repeat. But when he goes toe to toe with a thief who threaten’s to trash his routine by becoming an obsession, will he be able to put his bizarre life back in order, or will this woman turn his 21st century world on it’s head?Yep, the Bucky/Serum!Reader story you didn’t know you wanted.

Rated: Explicit

A/N: Back like I never left. I didn't give up on the story. A lot of things happened in my life that pulled me away from fanfiction. My previous semester was very intensive and I lost a beloved family member to cancer. My Grandfather passed, we were very close and it put me in a bit of a spin. I'm doing much better and this is my final semester of school. I mapped out all my school semesters so that this last one would be easy. I'm only taking two classes and they are both on the same day. In addition I am back at the job I previously had which allowed me to write when things were slow. So you can expect this story to be completed this year between my senor synthesis project.I apologize to everyone who were waiting for this and I thank everyone for their kudos and continued support of this story. I hope you're still interested in reading it.To make up for my absense, this chapter is the length of 2-3.Enjoy~!

Chapter 17 :Threat

In a year’s time since losing Cassandra, the Avengers had all gone through their own set of changes and challenges. The Avengers, and some space morons, had gathered together to fight against a big purple asshole who literally snapped half the universe into nonexistence. Prior to that, Bucky had spent time in Wakanda and met a sassy princess named Shuri who was eager to try out her tech on what she lovingly called a “broken white boy”. As a result, she had managed to rewire Bucky’s brain in order to expel the existence of those nasty trigger words that remained tightly locked within his subconscious. After losing Cassandra, the idea that the book that held his trigger words was destroyed was no longer a comfort. He had to get rewired—get Hydra out of his head for good.

If he was going to go after Cassandra and face more Hydra operatives, he couldn’t give them any opening to get to him. The risk was far to great. In addition to Shuri rooting around in his brain, she saw fit to redesign his metal arm. One that quote “didn’t suck”, not like the rebuilt Hydra tech Tony had stitched together as an apology to Barnes after their Civil War that was less than civil.

However, the appearance of the previously mentioned purple asshole, Thanos, had put Bucky’s quest to find Cassandra on hold. Especially after he too was snapped into nonexistence.

During his time in the emptiness, what he could remember of it, he had hoped he’d see Cassandra there. That if he had indeed died, perhaps she had too—and he could finally rest. Rest with the woman he’d grown to love.

He was both relieved and heartbroken by the fact that he never saw her. He never saw anyone. Hell, he couldn’t remember if he had seen anything at all. Nonexistence had been funny like that. Both seeing and not seeing at the same time. Both existing and not at the same time. Both alive and not at the same time.

It was a lot like cryo.

But just as quickly as he’d died, he was back in the world which was very much the same as he’d left it, but with the added bonus of those who had survived the “snap” defeating Thanos.

Little things had changed since then. The Avengers had grown in size with the addition of that Spider Kid and occasional assistance from King T’Challa and his people, Banner and Thor had returned to the family of misfits—considering that Thor had nowhere else to go after the destruction of his home, and the odd family as a whole had moved from the Avengers Tower they had called home into the Avengers Compound. Which, if Bucky was honest, he liked better. He liked the seclusion the compound had, the fact that it was out of the city—the fact that he wouldn’t pass the toy store anymore.

It wasn’t as though Bucky had forgotten about Cassandra, or wanted to. Quite the opposite—he devoted all his downtime to following leads centered around finding her.

He wasn’t going to stop. He hadn’t stopped since they completed their move into the Avengers Compound. As a result, the last two months of Bucky’s life, since the move, had been harder than the year without her. At least during that year Bucky had unwavering distractions from his own anger, depression, and restlessness. But these past two months made him wish he was on ice again. He was impossible to be around—he knew it, but he wasn’t about to fake a smile. He wasn’t the type. He’d never been the type.

As a result, the team treaded carefully around him. They had been since week one of their move in which Bucky was insisting that the man in the chopper had “his Doll” under a triggered mind control similar to his own. In passing, Tony had said he wasn’t sure about that—that perhaps Cassandra was in fact a double agent. Even Natasha, the double agent queen, didn’t believe that. The idea had earned Tony a punch to his laboratory wall where his head had been. He hadn’t bothered to have the indent caused by the Sargent’s fist fixed—and hadn’t dared to bring up his theory again. He liked his playboy head attached to his shoulders.

The only person that could approached Bucky was Steve, and even he wasn’t immune to the male’s frustrations.

Bucky and Steve walked down the ramp descending from the Quinjet. The moment Bucky’s boots touched down on cement of the hanger he let out a frustrated growl that bordered on a roar and threw one of his guns across the room. It skittered across the floor. Upon catching up with the gun in smooth strides, Bucky kicked it like a petulant child, letting it hit the wall to the left and watched it crumble into several unrecognizable pieces.

Steve put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and squeezed firmly, yanking him back and forcibly turning his friend to face him. “Enough.” Steve growled, as if scolding a toddler. A toddler that could break his damn neck if it really wanted to.

Bucky shrugged his friend off. “Seven tips—all seven leading to nothing!” He wanted to punch something. Bucky had followed every tiny glimmer of hope that might lead to Cassandra. No matter how insignificant it seemed. “We can’t keep doing this.” Steve murmured. Steve could have told him that five of the seven leads would bring them nothing, but Bucky always insisted. He was tired, he had bags under his eyes—but so did Bucky. Steve found himself wondering when the last time Bucky slept was.

“We can’t look into everything, Bucky.” He reiterated, gripping both of Bucky’s shoulders in an attempt to hold his focus. “We can’t.”

Bucky set his jaw, his muscles wound tight, but he didn’t pull back, or punch him in the jaw like Steve expected.

“You did it for me.” Bucky murmured through clenched teeth.

The Captain’s eyes softened, a moment of silence passing between them before Steve pulled Bucky into a firm hug by his grip on his shoulders. “We’ll find her Buck.” He murmured before his friend returned the embrace. “We’ll find her.” He repeated.

Their tender moment was interrupted by Sam sticking his head in. “Yo, old guys.”

Bucky let go of his friend and peered over his shoulder at Sam, giving him a death glare. That hug from Steve was the first positive physical contact he’d had since Cassandra was taken from him, he wasn’t pleased with having it cut short.

“Sorry secret lovers,” Sam murmured, stepping out of the doorway and into the hanger. “But we have a lead on The Cassinator.” He murmured with a grin, as if he were proud of himself for the new nickname.

Bucky wasn’t impressed.

Cassandra would have laughed.

Cassandra wasn’t here.

The super solider with the metal arm arched a brow as if he was not convinced, but Sam continued. “A real lead. With real evidence.” Bucky’s eyes narrowed. “Pictures.” Sam emphasized, tilting his head in the direction behind him to get the Captain and the Sargent to follow him.

Steve looked to his best friend and clapped him on the back as he broke into a steady jog after Sam. It took Bucky a moment longer to follow after them. Bucky wasn’t so sure he could take anymore bad news. The whole year had been nothing but a plethora of bad news.

Tony slammed his hand on the table in the conference room, drawing it back to rest it on his hip. “She’s been spotted in Germany.” He announced, beaming like a child who just completed a jigsaw puzzle.

Steve, who had been seated next to where Tony had slapped his hand on the table, arched a brow. “We went to Germany.” He said blandly. It wasn’t that he was trying to be cynical, he just didn’t want to get Bucky excited for nothing. He remembered what that felt like. To be so sure he was going to find Bucky only to return empty handed. Bucky had already done it enough.

Steve was going to make sure they didn’t go on another mission to find Cassandra until they were absolutely sure it was a genuine lead. Bucky’s heart couldn’t take it. Steve’s couldn’t either. Partially because he too loved Cassandra as a valued member of the team, but more so because his heart broke for his pal.

Bucky tapped his metal finger on the surface of the desk, not looking up at Tony’s over-excited face. “What makes you think she’s there?” he murmured, monotone and seemingly uninterested. He couldn’t bare to give his hopes up again. Not when seven leads had brought them nothing.

Sensing Bucky’s skepticism, Tony tapped on the surface of the table at the head, little hidden panels lighting up under his fingertips until a projection appeared at his eye level. The picture was a birds eye view of an old HYDRA base, one that Bucky recognized from his days on The Howling Commandos in the 40’s. It was one of the original seven bases the team took down when Steve officially became Captain America.

Tony raised his hand to the hologram and flicked his wrist to change the angle of the view until two people could be clearly seen. One was a girl with long brown hair tied up into a high pony but had no other distinguishable features showing besides that. The bottom half of her face was masked, and across her eyes were goggles. Even with the shitty resolution caused by zooming in Bucky knew it was his doll. The other figure was obviously the man Bucky saw in the chopper the day Cassandra got away. His memory may not have been great regarding everything pre-HYDRA, but he remembered the man who took his best girl.

“When do we leave?” Bucky said plainly, having already made up his mind the moment Tony zoomed in on the two figures. It wasn’t definite, with her face covered like that, but it was the best lead they had in weeks.

“We don’t,” Said Steve firmly, causing Bucky to set his jaw and raise a death like stare in Steve’s direction—one reminiscent of The Winter Solider. “Not without a plan.” Steve finished quickly, watching his friend’s gaze slightly soften.

Tony pipped up at that moment to back up his Captain, “I’ve got schematics of the building,” he murmured, flicking the hovering hologram to raise a new one. “Scanned it this morning.”

The building was roughly mapped out, as best as it could be through steel doors and solid concrete- but Stark’s tech was nothing to scoff at, and money said it was probably as accurate as anything. Bucky looked over the plans, his chin resting in his human hand and his leg shaking as he tapped his foot restlessly on the floor.

“There’s two stories plus one underground floor,” Tony, lifted two hands and flipped the flat image parallel to the table where it became a 3D model of the building. “Our best access points are here, here, and—”

Bucky cut Tony off as he was gesturing to the roof. “What’s that?” he asked, pointing to a peculiar shape at the underground floor of the building. Tony arched a brow and made a face, clearly dissatisfied with being cut off. “I’m not sure.” He said flatly, trying to pick up from what he had been saying just a moment ago.

Bucky wasn’t having it.

“Zoom in.” He persisted, his tone a command and not a request in the slightest. Tony let out a sigh of exasperation but poked his finger through the hologram to this odd shape at the base of the building. The hologram reset itself and zoomed in on the indicated section. He put his hands on the table and leaned in close, one hand coming up to rub at his sharply shaped beard. “Uh, a big chair.” He said, not even pretending to be interested.

Bucky’s face paled about four shades. “We gotta move.” He said firmly, standing from his chair so quickly that it rolled back and hit the wall behind him. Steve reached out and gripped his friend’s right arm, which would have sent him rolling with him had his feet not been firmly planted on the short carpet.

“Buck! A plan!” He repeated. This was rich coming from the man who ran head first into the big purple menace months prior and took on an army of chitauri without so much as a thought in his head.

“We’ll make one on the way.” He muttered, pulling his arm from Steve’s grip. “You, me, Tony, and Spider Punk. Let’s go.” Bucky was already out the door before he could see Sam and Natasha give each other a look that said, ‘And what the fuck are we? Chopped liver?’

Steve smiled weakly at the two. “We’re gonna need some level heads here to take care of the place while we’re gone.”

“Nice save.” Muttered Sam.

Tony, clearly pouting as the hologram sunk back into the table let out a grumble of discontent, “And here I thought I was in charge.” Steve smiled and raised his brows, “I let you think that.” Tony’s brow crinkled, and he scoffed.

Running. So much running. They never stayed in one place for too long, but she didn’t question it. She couldn’t. It was like there was someone else at the wheel. Everything the man in front of her said just made sense. Not because she thought about it and came to that conclusion herself—because it did.

Because that’s the way it was. She couldn’t think anything—not really. It was easier to do what you were told than think. Still… There was something in the back of her head, like a voice that would become just loud enough for her to hear. It was often followed by a brief snippet of time she couldn’t account for.

A distant memory like something out of a story she read but didn’t quite remember. Flashes of memories that couldn’t be hers.

Soft sheets. A warm embrace. Long hair. Blue eyes like ice on a frozen pond, haunting and enchanting. A bright smile…a real one.

And a voice. A rough voice expressing sweet nothings she couldn’t quite hear.

The lips… The lips that framed that smile… It formed words. In the flashes of this fantasy she could almost read them. ‘Ca….Ca…--’

“Kukol’nyy.”

Her head shot up, eyes empty, as if looking through her handler rather than at him.

“Your mind is wondering.” The man said whose name she couldn’t remember. A whisper in her mind said he was a doctor. Vasiliev—commander… doctor… handler—these words all blended together. The meant the same thing, and they were all words she couldn’t utter. No questions. Just comply.

The voice in the back of her head got quiet again.

The man in front of her stood knee deep in the snow, his arms crossed, looking upon this super soldier. Dirty, hair tangled, covered by the hood of her jacket, the snow hugging at her thighs. During his inspection, his eyes caught something perplexing. Little movements the Puppet was making.

Shivering. She was shivering. His brow crinkled in confusion. Super soldiers didn’t feel the effects of chill. Not like the average human—at the least they weren’t affected by it in the same way. A super solider could be sent out into a blizzard in civilian clothes for hours without showing signs of hypothermia. So why was she shivering?

He looked to her blank face before he turned once again, approaching the building they’d set out for. Passing through the clearing and reaching the front door should have been more difficult in knee deep snow—but the super soldier walked through the icy blockade as if taking a stroll through a field of daisies, creating a path for her handler to follow.

Upon reaching the iron door, the doctor stepped aside, gesturing to it with his head as he looked at the girl. “Open it.”

Kukol’nyy, who once had another name but had forgotten it, stepped forward and put her ungloved palm on the handle, rusted from years of snow and ice. The metal cracked under the force of her grip and she gave the handle a pull, tugging the obstacle out of their way as the door came off its’ hinges. She tossed the useless hunk of iron into the snow and stepped aside so her handler could ender the building ahead of her.

The doctor paused and again, tilted his head, gesturing to the opening. “You first, Kukol’nyy.”

Of course, how could she forget? She always entered first. Any doorway they entered, Kukol’nyy was to step in before her handler, insuring that any attack would be laid upon her first. Protection of her handler was her number one initiative.

She walked in, a hand at her thigh where she kept her gun, ready to draw it at the first sign of a threat.

None came. The girl relaxed her stance and turned partially to look at her handler, nodding that it was safe for him to enter. She rarely spoke. She wasn’t expected to speak. Speaking required thought.

She didn’t have thoughts.

Not her own.

Her handler stepped forward, walking past the soldier as he unzipped his heavy coat, snow from his shoulders dusting the floor as the fabric shifted.

“Come, Kukol’nyy. You’re filthy.”

“So, uh, why did the Russian dude kidnap your friend, Mr. Stark.” The Spider kid is not one that Bucky would usually depend on. Hell, he would have rather taken Bird Brain. However, he saw what that web of his could do first hand. If he could pin him to the floor the first time they met, he could easily tangle Cassandra. This was a search and rescue mission—and in his opinion other members of the team were a little too keen on shooting first and asking questions later.

Bucky knew no one mentioned it, they wouldn’t dare, but some suspected—in the very back of their minds—that maybe Cassandra had been conning them and was a double agent like Toni said. He wouldn’t have brought Tony, considering he’d been the one that planted the idea of Cassandra betraying them into other members of the team—but he knew he wouldn’t be able to take Spider kid with them without the watchful eye of his pseudo dad.

That—and deep down, in spite of what Bucky had said in the past, he knew Tony really cared for the woman and wouldn’t allow harm to come to her. Even if he had his doubts about her motives.

Instead of reiterating said doubts about Cassanda’s credibility, Tony just replied, “Dunno kid.”

Steve spoke from his position in the cockpit of the Quinjet. “Rebuilding HYDRA would be a lot easier if they had a new super soldier acting as their ‘fist’.”

Steve looked over his shoulder in time to see his friend’s look of disgust. Bucky still wasn’t over the part he had played in history.

He didn’t want Cassandra to have any of the same guilt he had.

Steve changed the subject, “But I don’t know why he would take her out here. They’ve done a pretty good job of hiding up until this point.” It was true, the pair had avoided any known HYDRA bases during their time on the run, fully aware they were likely being monitored. Yet, after months of being so careful they suddenly pushed their luck?

“He doesn’t have time to construct his own chair.” Bucky mumbled, his body swaying with a sudden jolt as the jet hit an unexpected air pocket. Bucky stood his ground, easily balancing in the bumpy craft, while Peter, usually the poster child of quick reflexes, fell back onto his ass.

“Can’t he just like… Buy one?” Peter asked, pulling himself back onto his feet before thinking better of it and having a seat on one of the benches that lined both sides of the jet. “Ikea furniture comes with a lot of instructions yeah, but it doesn’t take all that long to build right?”

Bucky’s jaw clenched. Steve looked back again. Bucky hadn’t opened up about a lot of the things that HYDRA did, but Steve did know about the chair. He’d spent a lot more time in it when he met Steve again on the bridge. It’d triggered so many memories that HYDRA had fought to shred.

“Why would he take her there, Buck?” Steve asked, his tone suggesting that he was aware he was walking on eggshells. Steve didn’t push Bucky to tell him more than he was comfortable with, they took it a day at a time, so prying was something he attempted to do delicately when necessary.

“She’s remembering.”

The girl hit the floor, not because she couldn’t catch herself—but as a sign of submission. When your handler shoved you, it was best you fall. The floor was cold. Even colder on bare skin. The shivers started again, making their way up her body like fingers walking up her spine, the hard surface of the concrete floor pressing uncomfortably to her kneecaps while one of her shins pressed to a metal grate on the floor, her skin imbedded with the pattern under the pressure.

“Up Kukol’nyy.”

At his command she stumbled to her feet, her arms at her side and her head hung to look at the floor but raised just enough so her handler could see it properly. Her hands stayed limply at her bare sides, never once moving to cover her stripped flesh. Any shame that existed in the mind she once had was not present in this one. Her long brown hair offered her only form of protection from the nip of the frosty air, hanging from her shoulders and covering a portion of her breasts. But the rest of her was on display and her face betrayed no interest one way or the other in her own exposure.

It should have been humiliating to stand there naked in front of a man she didn’t know. But like this she felt nothing. She thought nothing. She was nothing.

Just the orders she got.

“You really don’t look like a soldier, do you?” Her handler scoffed, lifting a fire hose that hung on the wall of the room. Any other person would have assumed it was an emergency hose, in case a fire broke out in the building. No—the room was built for this. With nothing in it but a drain in the floor and the hose on the wall, this room was made specifically for this.

Hosing down the asset after a mission.

Weapons didn’t get the luxury of showers.

Weapons weren’t human.

The asset wasn’t human.

The puppet wasn’t human either.

Her eyes followed the male’s hands blankly as they turned on the water, steam quickly radiated off the pipe and the uncoiled hose started to fill until a violent stream of water shot from the end of it and made contact with the puppet’s skin.

It hurt. The stream held such intensity it felt as if the water was trying to cut skin from bone, to wash her skin by ripping it away. She coiled instinctively, caving in on herself into a fetal position to try and protect her body from the pain, though she didn’t run from it. She wouldn’t dare run. You didn’t run from your handler. She felt the intense spray pelt her back as if being hit with hundreds of tiny needles.

Warm… At least it was warm… No… It was too warm… Too warm. It hurt… Like a burn from the sun, shining down on exposed pale skin. No—it was worse than that. It burned.

It burned like fire.

Burned like fire.

Like fire.

Fire.

Her eyes snapped open, pupils dilating and filling with a newfound focus, as if someone had turned the lights on in a dark room and she could finally see what before were only blurry shapes. She lifted her head, her body shaking under the force of the hose and made eye contact with the man who sprayed her.

Her handler held her gaze for a long while and then broke eye contact to turn off the water. The hose went limp and he carelessly dropped it on the floor, unwilling to roll it. “Put your close on.” He commanded as the quivering girl’s expression bounced between moments of clarity, and empty gazes while she struggled to get onto her feet. She was like a newborn deer, experimenting with her limbs for the first time. “We’re going downstairs.”

Bucky’s leg shook, he bounced it up and down upon the floor of the Quinjet with his arms crossed. Though they wouldn’t be landing in their location for several more minutes, he had his gun strapped to his back and his blades in their holders. He was wound tight like a spring that would launch at any moment. He was riddled with anxiety and impatience.

That anxiety spread.

“Quit it.” Steve murmured, his eyes darting to Bucky’s leg.

“Make me.” Bucky muttered back almost childishly.

Steve wisely didn’t take the bait, settling for crossing his arms over his chest. He’d been warned before not to poke a bear. The same premise applied to the former Winter Soldier.

“Children. Don’t make me turn this jet around.” Tony’s voice came from the front of the Jet, standing behind Natasha’s seat. He didn’t bother to turn his head. Obviously, he wasn’t going to turn the jet around, but his attempt at humor fell on deaf ears. Nothing could dwindle Bucky’s impatience.

“We’re above our target.” Natasha murmured, more to Tony than anyone.

But of course, Bucky heard it. No sooner had Natasha reached the period in her sentence than Bucky was on his feet and punching the button on the control panel which opened the exit ramp. The cabin filled with the chill outside air, tousling the hero’s inside.

“Bucky, wait!” Steve called, but Bucky had already thrown a parachute onto his back and jumped without looking back.

There was a long pause in the Quinjet before Steve moved to put on a chute for himself.

“So, jumping out of planes must be a super soldier trait.” Tony mumbled.

Tony had already hit the button to close the exit, giving Steve a look. “Just wait until we land. He’s not stupid enough to charge into battle alone.”

“Don’t hold your breath,” Natasha called from the front of the jet, finally turning his head. “That’s another super soldier trait.”

Bucky wasn’t crazy enough to fall without a parachute, that height was too much even for him. However, the parachute wouldn’t last long. As he fell, he refrained from pulling the chute until he was half way to the ground, allowing the chute to slow his descent before ditching it. He unbuckled himself from the safety device and free fell the rest of the way, landing on the concrete roof of the building with a loud ‘thud’.

Bucky wasn’t stupid enough to go into the building alone.

But he was angry enough.

In four confident strides he was at the door of the roof. He gripped the handle, the metal forming to his metal hand like clay, before he ripped the door from its’ hinges.

Immediately there was a commotion, the sound of men barking at each other in Russian. He narrowed his eyes, they hadn’t observed any other HYDRA operatives enter the building during their surveillance, brief as it was.

The soldier didn’t take the time to wait, to analyze how many people he heard. It didn’t matter. They were all dead the minute Vasiliev took Cassandra. He descended the stairs just as four men tracked up. Four men, four bullets, each between the eyes. The Winter Soldier was back with a new mission and there would be no mercy shown—not like his avenger comrades.

Stepping over the bodies that had rolled down the stairs, Bucky’s stride continued. On his path several doors opened with new enemies, few took a step out into the hall before a bullet was embedded into them. That is, until he rounded a corner.

Three men approached Bucky, guns drawn. Bucky lifted his palm to the barrel of the gun closest to him, it went off and the bullet was crushed against his hand. Expressionless, he ripped the gun from the man’s hand and kneed him in the stomach as he fell forward.

The unnamed man slumped against him and Bucky took the opportunity to use him as a human shield as he reached over, firing his gun at the other two assailants.

As their bodies hit the ground, Bucky pushed the man who stood limp against him to the wall, his metal hand at his throat. “Where is she?” He asked, his Russian as clear as when he was a brainwashed tool.

The man swallowed, or at least attempted to as the male lifted a shaking hand and pointed downward. Bucky nodded and squeezed down harder, snapping the male’s neck before dropping him in a pile with his friends.

The puppet’s eyes stayed up to the ceiling, focused but submissive. She wasn’t looking at anything, and her thoughts drifted between moments of nothingness and snippets of a memory that wasn’t hers. Not as far as she could tell anyway.

Her breathing was even, but hollow—an action devoid of any real life or desire to live, but rather a reflex.

The chair she sat in whirred to life and a pair of shackles built into the chair snapped shut around her wrists as the many attachments and panels on the chair shifted, slowly drifting to her head with occasional sputtering in the flow of its’ movements. It’d clearly not been used in a while.

As she shut her eyes in preparation for the mechanics coming down upon her skull, a mangled sound came over the radio her handler held at his station.

“Vasiliev—!” The words, whatever it was that would have followed such a panicked tone, were cut off by a scream of pain and a gargling sound over the radio the handler kept on his person. A moment later, the doors to the room she sat in where kicked open, one smacking against the wall, the other sliding across the floor as it was dislodged from its’ hinges.

“Kukol’nyy!” Her handler barked at her, orders didn’t need to be spoken, she knew instinctively—defend.

However, as she tried to stand, the chair’s shackles kept her in place. She yanked at the metal, but it wouldn’t budge. It was made for someone much stronger than she was.

The intruder, who’s name she didn’t know, trained his cold gaze upon her handler as his hand reached for the lever that would free her from the chair. He lifted his hand and fired his gun, shooting through her handler, though she couldn’t make out where he had been struck.

She growled and pulled at the shackles, doing an excellent impersonation of a trapped animal.

“Cassandra…” The long-haired male murmured in a voice just above a whisper as he approached the woman in the chair. His hands gripped the shackles around her wrists and pulled, grunting with the effort until the metal bindings snapped open.

The woman paused, looking down at the male’s hands as he shifted to open the other shackle, the second one quickly relived the same fate as the first and the man looked at her with eyes that finally held some sort of emotion.

“Doll…” He murmured, his hands coming up to gently hold her shoulders. She looked up at him with a confused expression. He looked familiar.

Right. She ran into him once before… A long time ago.

Did she know him?

“It’s okay doll… I’m gonna take you home… We’re going home…”

The girl blinked a few times, as if trying to clear dust from her eyes, her lips parting to speak. “H—”

“Kukol’nyy, ugroza*!”

Her jaw set tightly, and her head came forward, hitting the male in the face and making him stumble backwards with the force as she lunged towards him. The male covered his face with his forearm, blood trickling from his nose under the force of the headbutt. Meanwhile the girl dropped down and hooked her leg at her threat’s ankles, sending him on his back.

The puppet quickly got on top of him, straddling his waist and latching her hand around his throat.

He lifted his metal hand and latched it to the crook of her arm, forcing it to bend and disconnect from his neck as he flipped them over, pinning her hand down with his metal arm, his human hand squeezing her neck.

She struggled, growling as she tried to pry his hand from her neck and lift her arm from under the metal palm.

“Easy there, Doll.”

She froze, looking up at him without anger, or malice—but realization and confusion. Her lips slightly parted as she panted. Memories, blurry like a dream she couldn’t remember, danced over her vision. Smiles, skin on skin, gentle kisses, a moon lit room, looking up at bright blue eyes. Her head hurt. So many visions she couldn’t properly interpret—yet they were so familiar.

“Bucky…” The word tasted familiar on her tongue. Though she didn’t know how she knew it.

The man on top of her, with eyes from her dreams, widened and his grip on her neck retracted. “Doll?”

She looked up at him in confusion but propped herself up on her shoulders. God why did her head hurt so much? “Who…?” There were so many thoughts in her head that didn’t make sense—like puzzle pieces that didn’t fit—out of order and the wrong sizes.

Suddenly her back arched and she screamed in pain, a little disk at her neck sending a painful current through her body.

“Cassandra!” Bucky, gripped her shoulder, like if he could hold her in place long enough she may stop convulsing. He turned his head to see Vasiliev, holding a little remote. He took his thumb off the button and Cassandra went limp on the floor, weak and panting, charred marks on her body. That current might have killed a normal person.

“Not quite as good as the chair,” Vasiliev murmured, tossing the remote up and catching it back in his hand. “But it will do in a pinch.”

Bucky stood up. He didn’t draw his gun. He wanted the pleasure of ripping this guy’s spine out with his bare hands. He took a step forward, but the girl on the floor had curled her knees in and pushed herself back on her feet before jumping up onto the males back, trying to knock him off balance. Bucky didn’t have a choice. He reached behind himself and pulled her forward as he bent, tossing her into the opposing concrete wall. She hit it with a loud crash, and an indentation formed where she hit. When she fell to the floor, it was hard to tell if the sickening crack was from the girl or the concrete.

After a long moment of motionlessness, she tried to push herself up onto her hands and knees but let out an agonized cry and fell back onto the floor, unable to support herself. “Stay down, doll.” Bucky growled.

As he approached Vasiliev again, the doors behind the doctor opened and a team of HYDRA agents flooded in, firing in Bucky’s direction. He quickly ducked behind a pillar, taking cover from the fire as he looked over at Cassandra, who hadn’t moved from the floor.

From the other side of the room, came Captain America and Ironman. The bullets bounced off of Cap’s shield before he threw it, taking out two of the men for at least a moment. It bounced against the wall and flew back in Cap’s direction. He snatched the flying disk from their air as Ironman charged his blasters and shot in the opposing team’s direction.

Another HYDRA member had made their way to Cassandra, but quickly found himself attached to the wall by a sticky web that came from above. Peter jumped down and landed beside Bucky. “Uh Mr. Winter Soldier, Bucky—uhh Sir… You should get your girlfriend.” He said awkwardly before stringing himself to the other side of the room to kick another agent to the floor. As the team covered him, Bucky made is move to Cassandra.

“Kukol’nyy! Get. Up!” Came Vasiliev’s voice. Cassandra moved to push herself up again and let out a howl of pain, forcing her to lean against the wall as she stumbled to her feet. As Bucky approached, the girl threw a weak punch which he easily deflected. He caught the fist and pulled her forward, about to fling her over his shoulder when she howled in pain again as the disk gave a low toned buzz at her neck, making her blood boil and her skin burn. She dropped to her knees, falling out of Bucky’s grip.

“Doll!” Bucky moved to pick her up again, only to be kicked in the side, sending him back. Another HYDRA operative forced Bucky back in hand to hand combat.

“Get the girl!” Vasiliev barked, shoving the male beside him in her direction. He quickly ran to her forcing her to her feet and pulling her from the room, out the door.

“No!” Bucky growled, but he couldn’t get around the male in front of him. A blast finally knocked the male from his path and Bucky looked to Tony who gestured with his head for Bucky to go in the direction of Cassandra as the HYDRA operatives quickly filed out of the room, shooting behind them to hold the heroes back.

Steve ran to Bucky’s side, the two of them running down the hall with Steve’s shield up to keep the bullets from striking them. The hallway lead outside, were several HYDRA agents were mounting bikes and ATVs. Steve’s shield lowered in time to see Cassandra and the operative who’d retrieved her mounting a motorcycle and disappearing into the woods.

Bucky moved to follow them but was held off by the operatives that had not yet made their getaway. The other avengers came on the scene to fend off the remaining operatives, but when the metaphoric dust had cleared, Cassandra and Vasiliev were gone again—Leaving a particular super soldier shaking with rage.

A/N: Forgive any mistakes. I was in a hurry to post this (finally) and I'm sure I didn't read as carefully as I normally do for mistakes!

Like how I explained away Infinity War? Yeah I had to do that. #ignoringiw

*Ugroza = Threat

Your kudos and your comments made me come back so thank you guys!

Kudos make my heart sing an comments give me life.

Let me know if you're happy this story is back. I've mapped out the final chapters so this story will be a total of 25 chapters long so we still have somethings to come!

Follow me on tumblr if you want, I'm open for fanfic requests and stuff!

[mostfacinorous]

Whumptober 30th

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A/N: As we wind up to an end of the month of whumptober, I’d like to announce that my inbox is open for prompts for more daily minifics, such as these. I’d love to keep going with writing every day, so if you’d like to see more, please consider dropping a word or phrase and a pairing or fandom in my inbox!

Caregiver

By the time Steve made it to Asgard, he was already exhausted. The gatekeeper seemed to know that, though. As well as why he was there, and it seemed like he had taken mercy on Steve.

“I’ve summoned you a healer who bears Loki no ill will.” He said by way of greeting, and Steve could only stare for a moment while his brain processed that.

“You knew he lived?” He asked, and Heimdall nodded.

“It was better that he stay there-- the unrest here is still settling, but some stability has been achieved. Here-- she is nearly arrived. Go and help her with her bags, Captain.”

Obediently, Steve stepped forward, towards the older woman he saw entering the gold dome. It was hard to imagine he was on another planet, and harder still to ignore the fact that another world was right out the door, and he wasn’t going to see any of it. Not this time, at least, but then, he had priorities.

“Oh, and Captain?” Heimdall said, just as he was about to introduce himself. Steve turned back to look at the Gatekeeper. “Should either of them be killed, Asgard and Midgard will not be so friendly. Take care of them.”

Steve swallowed. “I will.” He promised. “With your help,” he added, looking to the healer.

“We will be fine, Heimdall.” She assured him. “Now, you had better get me to my patient.” Steve hefted her bag, and before he’d even straightened all the way up, they were landing atop Stark tower.

He huffed out a breath of air. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to traveling like that.” He offered, trying for small talk, but the healer was utterly uninterested. “Will you take me to him now? And I’ll need some hot water. Boiled, preferably.”

Steve sobered immediately. “Yeah, of course. Here, follow me.” He led the way in and down to the lower level.

“Tell me on the way what’s happened, and what state he’s in. Heimdall can only see so much at once.” She instructed, taking easy control. It was almost a relief to tell her, Steve found, despite the role he’d played in Loki’s latest injury. Though he discussed the tortures he’d been through at the hands of Doom as well, figuring he probably hadn’t fully healed from that yet, either.

As he spoke, he saw he way her face tightened, and slowly she seemed to understand.

“So I’m to be treating him as one of the Jotnar, then?” She asked, and Steve hesitated.

“If that’s a problem, I can take you back to the roof. You heard what Heimdall said-- I don’t know who’s in control on Asgard right now, but we can’t afford either of you getting hurt. And frankly, I care for him-- so if you have any hesitation at all…”

“None.” She answered calmly. “But boiling water is no longer the best option; do you have a bath we might prepare for him? With ice, preferably? I suspect he will need to be much colder than he is, if the air here is anything to go by.”

Steve sagged in relief, but nodded. “Sure. I’ll get that set up in just a second. He’s through here.”

---

Loki opened his eyes slowly, somewhat more comfortable than he had been the last few times he’d done so.

The first time, he’d awakened alone and in pain, dizzy and confused, and had tried to stand before remembering the state that he was in. And with that memory came the one of him taking Steve’s hand, pulling him close, and burning him. And Steve leaving. He’d fallen back to sleep with tears in his eyes, and woke to find Banner standing over him. “Steve?” He’d asked, and when Banner had answered something that included the words ‘went to Asgard,’ Loki had collapsed into sobs.

It was over. Steve had gone to get someone to take him away. And it didn’t seem to matter that he was already dying, unable to shift back to a healthy body, unable to run, or do any harm-- he couldn’t be allowed to go peacefully, could he? No, because he’d caused harm, had hurt the very last person he would ever want to, and so he deserved whatever punishment the Captain sought for him. He only wondered if it was possible he could die of a broken heart before Steve made it back.

And that had been his last thought before he’d fallen into blissful darkness again. Until now.

The first thing he saw was that he’d been moved into a bath-- a cold bath, with ice in it that bumped his skin, but where his mind thought that ought to be uncomfortable, his body registered it as pleasant, and even comforting. It couldn’t be good for his legs, though, could it? Did he even still have legs?

He craned his head and worked to push himself up, relieved to see that he did still have them, though he couldn’t be sure if they were darker or lighter under the ice that obscured his view.

“There you are,” A voice said to his left, and he turned his head to see--

“Mama?” He let himself fall backwards against the tub, stunned and able to feel his heart dropping to his stomach. Steve was with her, helping to unpack a bag so like the one she had carried with her to the bedside of ailing friends…

“Am I dead?” Loki asked, disappointed, if that was the case. He still ached and felt miserable, and Steve still hadn’t spoken to him… if this was the afterlife, it was horrible. And did that mean that Steve had-- that the Asgardians had-- It was too horrible to even think.

“No, Loki, of course not. Shhh, here, drink this. It will help your mind to focus.” Frigga held a cup to his lips, and he could smell one of her fouler tasting mixtures inside. He wrinkled his nose, but obediently drank.

“I’m sorry-- did he-- you aren’t his mother, are you?” Steve asked, clearly confused himself.

“In every way that matters.” Frigga said firmly, her eyes locked on Loki’s.

And he did feel his mind unclouding.

“How are you here-- what-- what happened? I thought-- what about Thor and Fa-- Odin?” Loki could see Steve looking between them, his brow furrowed with concern. He hadn’t known. He’d had no idea who she was to him, and had still gone and found her. Loki didn’t know yet what he felt, but there was no one else who could have made him feel safe, just now, no one but these two people.

“Odin sleeps. Thor rules. Asgard is slowly coming to calm. It has been… slow, and difficult. But I am glad you were not there to be hurt further. Not by us or them, at any rate.” Her eyes cut toward Steve, and Loki frowned as Steve looked down, obviously ashamed.

“Steve has done wonders for me, mama. He has given me such care, in my time here.” Loki said gently. “It is not his fault that I do not know how to care for this form.”

Frigga gasped in air as if Loki had punched her, and he regretted it immediately. He felt small and ugly, all of his hurt pouring out of him whether he meant it to or not, and poisoning the very air. “I am sorry.” he said, glancing away from her. “I did not mean to sound so cruel.”

“No, Loki, you’re right. That is my fault. Ours-- mine and your father’s. Let me explain, then-- when you injured your spine, your legs stopped moving, and blood flow was restricted. Jotun blood maintains the coolness of their bodies. The ice is within your veins, and everywhere else, it makes up so much of you under your skin. Without access to the cold, your legs began to thaw, and melt, and…” she gestured. “The cold has begun to reverse this process. And once the bath has done all that it can, I have healing stones to see you the rest of the way towards wellness.”

Loki closed his eyes, slumping, and covered his face with a shaking hand. He was relieved, the fear draining out of him and leaving such a hollow that the only thing his body could think to fill it with was tears.

And then Steve was there, crouching beside Frigga at Loki’s side.

“Loki?” He asked, and Loki looked up, fear returning as he remembered Steve’s flight. He reached out again and pressed a careful hand to the side of Steve’s face, wanting to touch him one last time before he lost the chance forever.

“I am sorry, Steve. I never meant to hurt you.” He spoke sadly. “I realize, though, that part of the unspoken agreement was that I could stay only so long as I caused no harm. So if you want me to go when I am healed, I understand.” He wanted to make this easy on him, if he could.

But Steve reached up and caught his hand, holding it to his face.

“It was an accident. You were sick, and it wasn’t on purpose, and it wasn’t bad. It’s already healed. It wasn’t your fault, Loki, and I’m not mad. I’m sorry I didn’t stop to tell you that before I left.”

Loki felt such a pressure behind his eyes, and looked at the two of them, Frigga watching Steve, and Steve who looked nowhere but at Loki. His family was safe. His home realm intact. He would keep his legs, and his birth form. He would live. Steve still cared for him.

It was so much to take in, and the tears tracked down his cheeks unchecked. Almost as one, Steve and Frigga each reached up to wipe them away.

“Perhaps we ought to take shifts. We will need to refresh the ice over the next several hours.” Frigga told Steve, who nodded.

“If you are tired, please feel free to use the bed-- the robots will have finished changing the sheets by now.” Steve gestured at the door, and Frigga stood with an elegant flourish of her gown’s skirts.

“Thank you, Steve. And I apologize; I did not realize my son had found such a worthy caretaker, here on Midgard.”

Steve flushed, and Loki discovered he quite liked the look of that. He watched his mother leave to rest, and sat back against the bathtub with a sigh.

“Thank you, Steve. You have given me so much today-- I do not know why they did not send word before this but… my family lives. I will live. It’s… exhausting, in the best of ways.”

Steve smiled at him, the expression no longer as thin, though still pinched with worry.

“It’s your turn to rest, then.” Steve told him, gently sweeping his hand across Loki’s face, brushing his hair behind his ear. “Sleep. I’ll watch over you.”

Loki caught his hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles with closed eyes. It was harmless, and he could still write it off to his illness if it discomforted Steve. But it felt good. Honest.

“You always do.” He whispered.

[imagine-loki]

Love Is Healing

TITLE: Love Is Healing CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 14/? AUTHOR: creativewoman88@tumblr.com ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki trying to convince you of his love for you for months after your constant disbelief. One day at the Avengers Tower he pushes you up against a wall, holding tightly as he kisses you, only to have you wildly fight back as you scream and cry begging him to let you go. As Steve helps your trembling form up from your spot now on the floor, your best friend Natasha explains to Loki that there was once a man who claimed to love you when you were a minor and said he would wait for you as long as it takes, only for him to turn around and molest you and eventually rape you, admitting that he never loved you all along. Ever since then you’ve never believed in love, but Loki promises you that he will spend every moment with you trying to convince you that his love for you is true. RATING: PG-13ish NOTES/WARNINGS: Very brief flashback of torture and very brief and vague discussion about rape.  Also, as a side note, I had no idea it had been 3 weeks since the last update.  I’ve been so busy I’ve lost track of time.  SORRY!!!  Also, I’m expecting there to only be able 20 chapters to this story, but I’m going back and forth on how to end it.  It’s hard!!!

Chapter Fourteen

     “I don’t know what I’m going to do now that I’ve … become this creature.”

     Arianna was still in Loki’s room, now seated on the bed with him beside her.  They were no longer holding hands, but Loki had relaxed some once he’d realized he could touch her without harming her.  True, her hand had become cold, but not so cold that it would damage her.

     “Well, I don’t think it would change anything.  I mean … we all get along with Bruce, and he can turn into the Hulk.  Bruce thinks he’s a monster too, but we don’t.  The others don’t.”

     “I don’t think it’s the same thing.”

     “Okay, let me run through what will happen if you don’t let them know.  Tony will want to know why you hid this – and he will find out.  He’ll use Jarvis to check in on you if you don’t come out in a few days.  You could say that you’re sick, but again he’ll check on you.  You’re one of us now because … because you care about me, so he’ll check.”

     “And my appearance?”

     “Tony will be curious because he’s Tony Stark, genius, scientist, engineer person.  Bruce will be curious too, but more reserved about it.  Natasha won’t care, not after she knows it doesn’t change anything.  Steve won’t attack as long as you don’t pose a threat, which you don’t.  Now … Clint … I’m not gonna lie.  He might try to shoot you.  I might have to warn him about the change before he sees you.”

     “And what of Fury?”

     “I technically no longer work for SHIELD.  I don’t answer to him.  But Fury can’t know that you’re no longer completely mortal.  It wouldn’t end well.”

     A small grin briefly took over Loki’s mouth.

     “You may have to learn how to lie, then, Miss Arianna.”

     “I can lie very well, actually, I just choose not to unless it’s completely necessary.”  She shrugged.  “As an agent, I was trained in the art of lying.  I still prefer the truth.”

     “Of course you do.”

     “And so you know I speak the truth when I say …  If you don’t want me to tell anyone, I won’t.  I’m behind you one-hundred percent.”

     She knew what it was like having a secret she didn’t want anyone knowing for fear of them looking at her differently, so she wouldn’t try to make him tell the others.

     She did know, though, that she’d been wrong.  Tony knew and didn’t treat her any differently.  He was more protective and slightly less sarcastic with her, but she was fine with that.  Clint knew because she had worked with Natasha and him for a decade and there had been situations that had called for him to know.  Steve knew and, though he never mentioned it, he was supportive in every way he could be.  Bruce didn’t know her past, but she knew that he wouldn’t see her as weak because of it.

     The point was that this part of Loki would take some getting used to, but she was sure everyone would if he gave them the chance.

~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~

     For the next few days Loki kept to himself and, much like when he’d first gotten there, Arianna brought him food three times a day.  She claimed he wasn’t feeling well.

     As Arianna had predicted Tony wanted him checked over after the third day of Loki not coming out of his room.  He was seriously considering sending Bruce in if Loki didn’t get better.  So Loki was considering letting the others know out of necessity.

     “Maybe one at a time,” Arianna suggested.  “Remember, none of them know what a Frost Giant is either.”

     That would definitely work in his favor.

     “I think I can tell Steve first.  Clint and Natasha together, and then Tony and Bruce.”

     “Why Steve alone?”

     Loki shrugged and smirked.  “Steve is level-headed, and I think I can bring him over to my side.  Three is better than two.  Steve, then Natasha.  Natasha will bring in Clint – Natasha is key there.”

     Arianna smiled, almost laughed.  “There’s the mastermind coming out.”

~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~

     Arianna found Steve in the gym – of course that was where he was.  That was his go-to place when he was alone.  Steve got about as much sleep as Tony did.

     She stepped in the room to see Steve killing a punching bag.  He stopped when he noticed her, and caught the bag to make it still.

     “Something you need?” he asked.

     The fact that she hadn’t moved to find a workout station herself must’ve clued him in on her wanting something from him.

     “There’s something you need to see.”

     “Okay.”

     Arianna gestured for him to follow her, which he did.  He seemed confused as to why she wasn’t speaking as they were walking.

     “Is everything okay?” he asked.

     “Um … depends on how you take this.”

     “That kind of has me worrying, Aries.”

     They reached Loki’s room and she knocked so Loki would know they were there in case he’d changed his mind.

     “I need your word that you won’t say anything to anyone, okay?”

     “Will this hurt someone if I don’t?”

     “No.  This won’t go against any moral code you may have, but what you’re going to see is something the others can’t know about yet.”

     Steve grabbed her arm and looked in her eyes.  “How bad is it?  He’s been sick.”

     “Well, he’s … not himself, I guess, but he’s still Loki.  Okay?”  Then, “Loki, can we come in?”

     “Yes.  Come in.”

~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~

     Steve hadn’t known what to expect when he walked into Loki’s room, but seeing Loki with blue skin definitely wasn’t it.  Even if he hadn’t been warned, he would have known the man was Loki.  He had the same black hair, his build was the same, and the man had Loki’s clothes on.

     He still stood there in a defensive stance, ready for a fight if one were to start.

     “I am obviously missing something,” Steve said.  “When did this happen?  How?”

     Loki briefly summarized what Arianna knew and Steve especially paid attention to the race war bit.  He’d had enough of that just living on Earth and fighting in World War II what with the Nazis thinking the Jews weren’t the perfect humans and so deserved to be eliminated.  Steve knew there had been experiments done in the war camps, and the Nazis wanted to create the perfect race.  He didn’t know all the details because science wasn’t his thing, but he knew enough to know it had been horrible.

     He also knew that America had been less than kind to the Asians living in the country once Japan had attacked Pearl Harbor.  People usually blamed a whole race for the acts of a few individuals.  It wasn’t fair, but that was how it usually worked.

     He still didn’t understand the whole of what Loki explained.  He wasn’t that into mythology or any religion that wasn’t Christianity, but he understood enough to understand that Loki had been treated unfairly.  It didn’t excuse anything Loki had done, but it did help Steve get into his mind a little.  It didn’t change how Steve felt about him.

     “Blue or not, I don’t particularly like you,” he said.  “I don’t trust you, and I probably never will.  You wanted to take over my world.  That being said, that has nothing to do with where you came from; it’s about what you did.”

     Loki seemed to accept that.  He probably would’ve been the same way had someone come in and destroyed part of his world and tried to take over.  He may have, Steve didn’t know.

     “Arianna knows how I feel about you two.  She came to me before you went on your date.  I’ll tell you what I told her.”

     Loki tensed.  Steve could tell he was waiting for something negative to be said.  It was what he was used to.  He hoped what he said next helped Loki get over that – at least a little.

     “I don’t know how you feel about the rest of us, but I know you care about her.  You’ve risked your life for her.  Fought to protect her – killed to protect her.  I don’t believe you would ever harm her on purpose, and would never willingly let harm come to her.”

     He looked at Arianna then.  She had a small smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

     “I know you weren’t asking for it, but that’s my blessing.  Or as close to it as you’re going to get from me.”

     “You’re right.  I wasn’t asking for it,” she said.  “But it’s nice to have it anyway.”

     To Loki Steve said, “If you do hurt her …”  Steve shrugged.  “Let’s just say I’ve survived being frozen before.  I can probably do it again.”

     Ironically, that was what made Loki relax.

     Go figure.

~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~

     Natasha was surprisingly accepting of Loki’s backstory.  She didn’t even ask to see Loki’s true form.  All she did was give a nonchalant, almost uninterested shrug.  Clint was almost as uninterested; he really didn’t care about Loki.  He tolerated him for Arianna’s sake and that was it.

     Letting three people know in one day was enough for Loki.  He would let Bruce and Tony know later.  As for that moment?  He just wanted to rest, and he knew Arianna needed rest.  He was emotionally drained from all the worry he’d had about how she and the others would take his change, but Arianna was physically exhausted.

     Loki had been selfish, not that that was an unusual trait for him, but he usually didn’t care about that selfishness, much less who it was directed at.  This time he did because it was Arianna.

     She hadn’t complained once about having to bring him meals or spending time only in his room because he didn’t want to leave it.  She was better, healthier now than when she’d come with food the first time.  She had her color back, and she hadn’t had a fever since taking the antibiotics.  The medicine had obviously worked.

     He, not for the first time, wondered what he’d done to deserve her loyalty, because he couldn’t think of a thing.  He was almost 100% certain that if any of the others had been made to be his keeper it would not have turned out as well as being with Arianna had.

     His mother had done the right thing by leaving him there with Arianna.  His mother had known how kind she would be and how much Loki needed that kindness.  She’d also known that had he had his magic as a defense mechanism he never would’ve let Arianna close.

     Well played, Mother, he thought.

     “You’re grinning,” Arianna said.  “What’s funny?”

     “Nothing.  Passing thoughts.”

     “About?”

     “You,” he admitted freely.  “And my mother.  About how she knew what she was doing when she left me in your care.”

     She gave him a smile.  “Well, she couldn’t leave you completely defenseless.”

     “No.”

     They were both seated on his bed, side by side.  She turned to bring her hand to his cheek.  She caressed him despite his skin color and despite the cold.

     “For what it’s worth, I’m glad she made you stay.  I’m glad you’re here with me.”

     Since no one was around to see or hear him he admitted he was glad too.

~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~

     That night Arianna left Loki to his own devices.  Speaking of, she needed to talk to Tony about upgrading Loki’s room.  The only form of entertainment he had was books.  He didn’t even have a phone.  Until recently he hadn’t needed one because he hadn’t even wanted to leave the Tower.

     He would need one, however, because they couldn’t not go places.  They couldn’t not live their lives.  Plus, they would take care of the people trailing her and they’d be free to go wherever they wanted.

     The point she’d been thinking of, though, about upgrading Loki’s room was … he at least needed a TV or a laptop.  Especially if he was planning on staying in his room for the foreseeable future.

     She’d get with Tony about it.  She’d even buy the stuff herself if Tony had a problem spending money on an ex-villain.  He’d never had a problem before, though.

     Loki was on her side, at least, and at the moment that meant he was on their side.  Besides, this whole getting kidnapped thing had brought them all closer together, and Loki had slowly let them all see his kinder side.  The side that allowed him to care about her.

     As for that moment, she just wanted to go to sleep.  She felt better than she had just days before, but taking care of Loki’s insecurity issues was emotionally draining on top of everything she’d been through.

     Once in bed she pulled up a book on her phone.  A murder mystery series with a leading woman who reminded her of Natasha and a leading man who reminded her of Tony, sarcasm and all.

     Mysteries were a weakness for her in the realm of fiction.  Probably because she was a real straight-shooter in real life.  Given the recent circumstances, however, she maybe should have chosen something else to read before sleeping.  She didn’t need another reason to have a nightmare, not like the ones she’d been having since being kidnapped and tortured.

     And that was where she was when she dreamed:  back in that room with Blondie and Brown eyes.  She was bound to the chair like she had been in real life.  The blond one was in pain and somehow she knew she was the one causing it; the one with brown eyes was talking to her about needing to learn control, which she already knew.  It wasn’t like she meant to crush people to death.

     Brown Eyes grabbed her and shook her despite her being bound, and she glared at him.

     “You’re killing him like you killed David,” he said.  “If you could, you’d kill David all over again.”

     “No,” she said.  “No, I wouldn’t.”

     That was the truth.  She knew if she had it all to do over again, knowing what she knew now, she would’ve realized what David had been and she would’ve been … not taken in by his false charm.

     As her mind usually did when she thought about David, it threw her back to that night.  As she normally did when she relived the violation she jerked awake with a scream dying on her lips.

     What was not like usual was that when she woke up Loki was at her bedside.  Luckily he had turned the light on or else she may have gone on the defensive.

     His hands were on her shoulders, chilly but not ice cold.  He hadn’t shaken her awake either; he’d grabbed her when she’d jerked up.

     Still, considering what she’d been dreaming about … if the light hadn’t been on she may have freaked out just a little.

     “Loki?  What’re you doing in here?”

     “You were screaming.  Again.”

     He stood up straight then, pulling away from her now that she was away.

     “Is this because of your recent capture?  You didn’t have these nightmares before then.  If you did, it never led to you screaming or crying.”

     She wiped the tears away quickly.

     “Perhaps it’s something else,” he said.  “Something from your past.”

     Her body tensed at his words and he sat beside her.

     “I have a feeling I know what happened to you, Arianna, and I’m not asking you to talk about it.  That’s not something you have to do.  Just know that you can.”

     Her heart was racing and her eyes were stinging now.  He knew.  He definitely knew at least some of it and he was still there, not looking at her or treating her any differently.

     “It … happened a long time ago, years,” she said.  “It’s hitting me again because of what happened when I was taken.  And that’s all I have to say.”

     “Okay.  Do you wish to be alone?”

     “Absolutely not.  Thanks for checking on me.”

     “Well, you know.”  He shrugged.  “Damsel in distress and all.”

     “Hey!”

     She shoved him playfully, still slightly shocked by the coolness of his skin, and something loosened in her chest and stomach.  For years she’d woken up alone and she was mostly okay with that.  It was lonely, though, when she woke up from a nightmare and there was no one to comfort her.

     Now she had more than one someone to do that for her.

~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~

     Loki stayed with Arianna for about an hour, which was how long it took her to go back to sleep and for Loki to know she was at peace.  Loki slept too, but he had to wake up earlier than he really wanted.

     In Asgard he’d been used to getting up almost as soon as the sun came up.  Asgardians didn’t have clocks, didn’t tell time as Midgardians did.  Since becoming mortal, however, Loki had taken to sleeping until at least ten.  He seemed to need more sleep now that he was human – or whatever he was considered now, what with his new skin color and body temperature.

     But that was why he was awake.  He was going to see Tony and Bruce in the lab.  Maybe they could help him go back to how he normally was.  That would be a miracle, and it would be what Loki wanted most at the moment.

     He got up, got dressed, and walked out of his room only to see that Arianna was leaning against the wall across from him.  She was not dressed for the day, he noticed.  She was still in her sleepwear.

     “I asked Jarvis to let me know when you woke up,” she said.  “I didn’t know if you wanted me to come with you or …”

     Loki had learned to be a solitary person, even in his youth he preferred to surround himself intimately with only a few people, and even then he craved his alone time away from them.  With Arianna there was none of that.

     He’d be with her always if she allowed him to.

     “I – of course,” he responded, holding his hand out to her.

     She grabbed it and they began walking hand-in-hand.  It hit Loki then, when her hair was a mess, her cheeks still a little pink from sleep, and her clothes wrinkled from lying in them all night that he more than fancied this girl.  He believed he loved this girl.

     That revelation almost had him stopping in mid-step.  It probably would have had she not been there beside him.  As it was, there she was helping to keep him steady without even knowing it.

     He … didn’t know what to do with that information, but he shouldn’t have been surprised by it.  He wasn’t ready for her to know, not from his own lips, that he loved her.  Besides, she hadn’t admitted it either, not in that way.  He couldn’t be blamed for hesitating.

~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~

     Tony stood in his workshop with Bruce, both unmoving and looking at the blue man in front of them.  Arianna was beside the guy and Tony’s system read that it was Loki, but …

     “Why are you blue?” Tony asked first thing after the shock wore off.  “Decide to fall into a vat of paint dye?”

     “That’s obviously what happened,” Loki answered, sounding mostly unoffended and a little amused.

     “The short answer, Tony, is that biologically he isn’t Asgardian,” Arianna said.

     “Hm.”  Tony shrugged.  “Thor did say he was adopted.  Still doesn’t answer why you’re blue.”

     And so Loki briefly explained why he was blue and after he was done seemed confused.

     “Why is everyone so calm about this?  I explain that I am a monster and you don’t even bat an eyelash.”

     “It’s not like you’re being particularly frightening right now.  Besides, people change, and you are not defined by your race or what it’s known for.”

     If Tony had let something like that stop him, he’d probably still be making weapons and selling them, no matter how unwittingly, to other countries to use against his own.  People could change once they had their eyes opened to something they’d been blinded to.

     “And I happen to be able to change color too,” Bruce said.  “And at least you’re not smashing things.”

     Tony liked that Bruce was lightening up about the whole Hulk thing.  He was learning that people accepted him, too, green beast and all.  More than that, they weren’t afraid of him.  Aware of what the green guy could do, yes, but also aware that the Hulk and Bruce were two different individuals.  Sometimes – more often than not – Bruce wasn’t even aware of what the Hulk did until he became Bruce Banner again.

     “We’re all assuming Fury doesn’t know about this, and we should definitely keep it that way,” Arianna said.  “I don’t want SHIELD or Hydra finding out.”

     “Agreed,” Tony said.

~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~          ~

     Arianna noticed as she and Loki walked back to their rooms that Loki seemed more relaxed than he had in days.

     “I told you,” she said gently, more reassuring than triumphant.

     “So you did,” he admitted.

     She grabbed his hand when they reached his room only to pull him towards her own.

     “We can watch TV or something.”

     Once inside the room Arianna basically plopped onto the bed.  She felt better than she had in days as well.  Maybe it was because Loki now knew he didn’t have to hide anymore, or maybe it was something else, but she felt good, happy.

     Or … she was until she realized that Loki was just standing there and not sitting on the bed.

     “You can sit.”  She grinned.  “I brought you in here.  You don’t need an invitation to get in my bed.”

     Loki’s eyebrows quirked up and he pursed his lips to hide a grin.  When Arianna realized what she’d said and how it could’ve been taken she face-palmed and felt her face heat up.

     “You know what I meant.  I should’ve stopped at you can sit.”

     “Oh, but then your face wouldn’t have taken on that very appealing shade of pink,” he teased as he sat down.  “Oh, look, now you’re turning red.”

     She actually giggled.  She slapped a hand over her mouth at the sound.  That had definitely not come from her.  Nope.  She didn’t make sounds like that.

     But Loki had a huge grin going on, and it was a sincere one.  If it made him react that way, maybe she could deal with giggling.

[dumbledearme]

child of sea and shore

read Child of Land and Sea here 

Tale I — The Death of Fear

Andy was in a science class when she heard these noises outside.

SCRAWK! OW! SCREECH!

Like somebody was getting attacked by possessed poultry. Nobody else seemed to notice the commotion. In the lab, everybody was talking loudly. It wasn't hard for Andy to go look out the window without calling attention for herself. There was a girl in the alley outside with her sword drawn. She was tall and muscular like a basketball player. She was hacking at a flock of black birds the size of ravens. A cut was bleeding over her left eye. One of the birds shot a feather like an arrow, and it lodged in her shoulder. She cursed and sliced at the bird, but it flew away.

Andy had no idea what Clarisse, of all people, was doing on the Upper East Side in the middle of a school day, but she was obviously in trouble. And she wouldn't last much longer.

"Mrs White," Andy said, "can I go to the restroom? I feel like I'm going to puke.''

"Go!" Mrs White answered fast.

Andy ran out the door with her ballpoint pen already in hand. Nobody stopped her in the halls. She exited by the gym and got to the alley just in time to see Clarisse smack a devil bird with the flat of her sword. The bird squawked and spiraled away, slamming against the brick wall and sliding into a trashcan. That still left a dozen more swarming around her.

"La Rue!"

The girl glared at Andy in disbelief. "Jackson? What are you doing-" she was cut short by a volley of feather arrows that zipped over her head and impaled themselves in the wall.

"I got to school here."

"Just my luck," Clarisse grumbled, but she was too busy fighting to complain much.

Andy uncapped the pen, which grew into a metre-long bronze sword, and joined the battle, slashing at the birds and deflecting their feathers off her blade. Together, Clarisse and Andy sliced and hacked until all the birds were reduced to piles of feathers on the ground.

They were both breathing hard. Andy had a few scratches, but nothing major. She pulled a feather arrow out of her arm. It hadn't gone in very deep. As long as it wasn't tipped with poison, she'd be okay. She took a bag of ambrosia out of her jacket, where she always kept it for emergencies, broke a piece in half and offered some to Clarisse.

"I don't need your help," she muttered, but she took the ambrosia. Clarisse sheathed her sword and brushed off her jacket. "Well… see ya."

'"Hold up!" Andy said. "You can't just leave."

"Watch me."

"What's going on? What are you doing away from camp? Why were those birds after you?"

Clarisse stumbled past Andy.

"Come on," Andy said. "You just about got killed at my school. That makes it my business."

"It does not!"

"Let me help."

Clarisse took a shaky breath like she really wanted to punch Andy out, but at the same time there was a desperate look in her eyes, like she was in serious trouble. "It's my brothers," she admitted. "They're playing a prank on me."

"Oh," Andy said, not really surprised. "Which brothers? Sherman? Mark? The one with the goatee?"

"No," she answered, sounding afraid. "My immortal brothers. Phobos and Deimos."

They sat on a bench at the park while Clarisse told Andy the story. "So let me get this straight," Andy said. "You took your dad's car for a joyride and now it's missing."

"It's not a car," Clarisse growled. "It's a war chariot! And he told me to take it out. It's like… a test. I'm supposed to bring it back at sunset. But-"

"Your brothers carjacked you."

"Chariot-jacked me," she corrected. "They're his regular charioteers, see. And they don't like anybody else getting to drive. So they stole the chariot from me and chased me off with those stupid arrow-throwing birds."

"Your dad's pets?"

She nodded miserably. "They guard his temple. Anyway, if I don't find the chariot…" She looked like she was about to lose it. Andy didn't blame her. Andy had seen Ares get mad before and it was not a pretty sight.

"I know there's no way you'll ask, so I'll make this easy for you. I'll help," Andy decided.

"Why would you? I'm not your friend," she said irritated.

The two girls faced each other. Suddenly, a guy's voice said: "Aw, look at that. I think she's been crying!" A teenage dude was leaning against a telephone pole. He was dressed in ratty jeans, a black T-shirt and a leather jacket, with a bandanna over his hair. A knife was stuck in his belt. He had eyes the color of flames.

"Phobos." Clarisse balled her fists. "Where's the chariot, you jerk?"

"You lost it," he teased. "Don't ask me."

"You little-" Clarisse drew her sword and charged, but Phobos disappeared as she swung, and her blade bit into the telephone pole. He appeared on the bench next to Andy. He was laughing, but he stopped when she stuck Riptide's point against his throat.

"You'd better return that chariot," Andy told him, "before I get mad."

Phobos gave her that look that said women were only good for one thing. "And who might you be, sunflower? Does Clarisse needs help fighting her battles now?"

"I don't need help!" Clarisse tugged her sword, pulling it out of the telephone pole. "She's nobody, alright? Just... Andy Jackson."

Something changed in Phobos's expression. He looked surprised, maybe even nervous. "The child of sea and shore? The one who made Dad angry? Oh, this is too good, Clarisse. You're hanging out with a sworn enemy?"

"I'm not hanging out with her!"

Phobos's eyes glowed bright red.

"Please, no!" Clarisse screamed. She swatted the air as if she were being attacked by invisible bugs.

"What are you doing to her?" Andy demanded. Clarisse backed up into the street, swinging her sword wildly. "Stop it!" Andy told Phobos. She dug her sword a little deeper against his throat, but he simply vanished, reappearing back at the telephone pole.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, Jackson," Phobos said. "I'm just showing her what she fears most."

The glow faded from his eyes. Clarisse collapsed, breathing hard. "You son of a bitch," she gasped. "I'll… I'll get you."

Phobos turned toward Andy. "How about you, Andy Jackson? What do you fear? I'll find out, you know. I always do."

"Give the chariot back," Andy tried to keep her voice even. "I took on your dad once. You don't scare me."

"Nothing to fear but fear itself. Isn't that what they say?" Phobos laughed. "Well, let me tell you a little secret, half-blood. I am fear. If you want to find the chariot, come and get it. It's across the water. You'll find it where the little wild animals live - just the sort of place you belong." He snapped his fingers and disappeared in a cloud of yellow smoke.

Andy helped Clarisse up. Her face was still beaded with sweat.

"How about some help now?" Andy asked.

They took the subway, keeping a lookout for more attacks, but no one bothered them. As they rode, Clarisse told Andy about Phobos and Deimos. "They're minor gods," she explained. "Phobos is fear. Deimos is terror."

"What's the difference?"

She shrugged. "Deimos is bigger and uglier, I guess. He's good at freaking out entire crowds. Phobos is more, like, personal. He can get inside your head."

"Why don't they want you driving the chariot?"

"It's usually a ritual just for Ares's sons when they turn eighteen. I'm the first daughter to get a shot in a long time."

"Good for you. Girl power, dude."

"Tell that to Phobos and Deimos. They hate me. I've got to get the chariot back to the temple."

"Where is the temple?"

"Pier 86. The Intrepid."

"Oh. Well, we've got maybe four hours before sunset," Andy guessed. "That should be enough time if we can find the chariot."

"But what did Phobos mean, over the water? We're on an island, for Zeus's sake. That could be any direction!"

"He said something about wild animals," Andy remembered.

"A zoo?"

"Could be. A zoo over the water could be the one in Brooklyn, or maybe… someplace harder to get to, with little wild animals. Someplace nobody would ever think to look for a war chariot..." Something clicked inside Andy's mind. "Staten Island!" she said. "They've got a small zoo."

"Maybe," Clarisse said. "That sounds like the kind of out-of-the-way place Phobos and Deimos would stash something. But if we're wrong-"

"We don't have time to be wrong."

They hopped off the train at Times Square and caught a line downtown, towards the ferry terminal. They boarded the Staten Island Ferry at three thirty, along with a bunch of tourists, who crowded the railings of the top deck, snapping pictures of the Statue of Liberty.

"He modeled that on his mom," Andy said, looking up at the statue.

"Who?" Clarisse glared at her uninterested.

"Bartholdi," she said. "The dude who made the Statue of Liberty. He was a son of Athena, and he designed it to look like his mom. That's what Anthony told me, anyway. And he thinks I never listen."

"The things he can get you to say..." Clarisse rolled her eyes. "Useless. If it doesn't help you fight, it's useless information."

Andy would've argued with her, but just then the ferry lurched like it had hit a rock. Tourists spilled forward, tumbling into each other. Clarisse and Andy ran to the front of the boat. The water below them started to boil. Then the head of a sea serpent erupted from the bay. The monster was at least as big as the boat. It was grey and green with a head like a crocodile and razor-sharp teeth. Riding on its neck was a bulky guy in black Greek armor. His face was covered with ugly scars, and he held a javelin in his hand.

"Deimos!" Clarisse yelled.

"Hello, sister! Care to play a game?"

The monster roared. Tourists screamed and scattered. Whatever they saw terrified them.

"Leave them alone!" Andy ordered.

"Or what, child of sea and shore?" Deimos sneered. "My brother warned me you were just a little girl. Oh, but I love terror. I live on terror!" He spurred the sea serpent into head-butting the ferry, which sloshed backwards. Alarms blared. Passengers fell over each other trying to get away. Deimos laughed with delight.

"That's it," Andy grumbled. "Clarisse, grab on."

"What?" she looked appalled.

"Then don't, but we're going for a ride."

Clarisse grabbed onto Andy. The two girls leaped off the top deck and straight into the bay, but they were only underwater for a moment. Andy felt the power of the ocean surging through her. She willed the water to swirl around them, building force until they burst out of the bay on top of a ten-metre-high waterspout that steered them straight towards the monster.

"You think you can tackle Deimos?" Andy yelled to Clarisse.

"I'm on it!" she said. "Just get me within three metres."

They barreled toward the serpent. Just as it bared its fangs, Andy swerved the waterspout to one side, and Clarisse jumped. She crashed into Deimos, and both of them toppled into the sea. The sea serpent came after Andy. Quickly, Andy turned the waterspout to face it, then summoned all her power and willed the water to even greater heights.

Fifty thousand litres of salt water crashed into the monster. Andy leaped over its head, uncapped Riptide, and slashed with all her might at the creature's neck. The monster roared. Green blood spouted from the wound, and the serpent sank beneath the waves. Andy dived underwater and watched as it retreated to the open sea. Clarisse surfaced near her, spluttering and coughing. Andy grabbed her. "Did you get Deimos?"

Clarisse shook her head. "The coward disappeared as we were wrestling. But I'm sure we'll see him again. Phobos, too."

Tourists were still running around the ferry in a panic, but it didn't look like anybody was hurt. The boat didn't seem damaged. Andy held onto Clarisse's arm and willed the waves to carry them towards Staten Island.

In the west, the sun was going down over the Jersey shore. Time was running out. Staten Island was a lot bigger than Andy thought.

"We'll never make it in time," Clarisse noted.

"Happy thoughts, man. Good vibes. Flowers. Summer. Water. Chocolate that melts in your tongue-"

"If you don't shut up, I'm going slap you until you can't stand."

"That was a happy thought, wasn't it?"

Clarisse shrugged. "Oh yeah."

After dragging themselves halfway down the island, they finally saw a sign that said ZOO. They turned a corner and followed this curvy street with some woods on one side until they came to the entrance. Thank the gods, Andy had enough cash to get them inside.

Around the reptile house, Clarisse stopped in her tracks. "There it is." A large golden and red chariot tethered to four black horses was sitting at a crossroads between the petting zoo and the sea otter pond. "Where are Phobos and Deimos?" Clarisse muttered, drawing her sword.

Andy concentrated on the horses. "Hey, pretty horses. Looking good, uh? Nice, shiny fur and-"

One of horses whinnied disdainfully calling Andy some names that were too rude even for an animal.

"I'll try to get the reins," Clarisse said. "The horses know me. Cover me."

"Right."

Andy kept her eyes peeled as Clarisse approached the chariot. Her hand had almost reached the rail when the horses reared up, whinnying and breathing flames. Phobos and Deimos appeared in the chariot.

"The hunt is on!" Phobos yelled.

Clarisse stumbled back as he lashed the horses and charged the chariot straight toward Andy. She jumped over a trashcan and an exhibit fence, but there was no way she could outrun the chariot. It crashed through the fence right behind Andy, ploughing down everything in its path.

"Jackson, look out!" Clarisse yelled.

Andy jumped and landed on a rock island in the middle of the otter exhibit. She willed a column of water out of the pond and doused the horses, temporarily extinguishing their flames and sending them into confusion. Andy ran as Phobos cursed and tried to get his horses under control. Clarisse took the opportunity to jump on Deimos's back just as he was lifting his javelin. Both of them went tumbling out of the chariot as it lurched forward. Andy could hear Deimos and Clarisse starting to fight, sword on sword. But Phobos was riding after her again. Andy sprinted towards the aquarium.

"Hey, sunflower!" Phobos taunted. "I've got something for you!"

Andy glanced back and saw the chariot melting, the horses turning to steel and folding into each other like clay figures being crumpled. The chariot refashioned itself into a black metal box with caterpillar tracks, a turret and a long gun barrel. A tank. Andy rolled to one side as the gun fired.

KA-BOOOOM!

A souvenir kiosk exploded in every direction. As Phobos re-aimed his gun, Andy got to her feet and dived into the aquarium. She ran through the rooms washed in weird blue light from the fish tank exhibits. Andy stopped at the back of the aquarium and listened. She heard nothing. And then… Vroom, Vroom. Phobos came riding on a Harley-Davidson.

"Hey, pretty lady," Phobos said pulling a huge sword out of its sheath. "Time to be scared."

Andy raised her own sword, determined to face him. Then Phobos's eyes glowed brighter, and she made the mistake of looking into them.

Suddenly Andy was in a different place. It was Camp Half-Blood. But it was empty. There was nobody there. Andy glanced around, her heart racing. "Anthony?" she called. "Grover? Chiron?"

"No one's here," a voice said from nowhere. "You're alone, Andy Jackson."

"What?" Andy tried to find where the voice was coming from but couldn't. "Where are they? What happened to them?"

"They died. Or they're just gone. Whatever you prefer. The important thing is they aren't here. You're alone, Andy Jackson."

"I..." Andy felt the cold, heavy fear taking over her.

"They've moved on without you. And why would they stay? What have you got to offer them? You are nothing. And now you're alone, Andy Jackson."

Andy's hands trembled. Breathing heavily, she called again: "Anthony?"

"He can't hear you," the voice answered.

"No."

"He can't see you."

"Anthony?"

"He doesn't even know you. You're alone, Andy Jackson."

"No. Stop! Please, I-"

Andy stood paralyzed but somewhere in her brain she had the vague notion this was happening inside her head. It's not real, she told herself. I'm not at camp. She could feel the power of the ocean in her veins. It's just an illusion. This wasn't happening. She wasn't alone. She couldn't be...

Andy blinked and saw Phobos's blade coming down towards her head. She raised Riptide and blocked the blow just before it cut her in two. Andy counterattacked and stabbed Phobos in the arm. Golden ichor soaked through his shirt. Phobos growled and slashed at her. Andy parried easily. Fear still threatened to froze her legs, but Andy kept herself strong. She pressed him back, swiped at his face, and gave him a cut across the cheek. The angrier he was, the clumsier he got and less fear Andy felt.

Finally she kicked him backwards against the water fountain. His sword skittered into the ladies room. Andy sucker-punched him in the nose. "You're going to disappear now," she told him. "You're going to stay out of Clarisse's way. And if I see you again, I'll break something bigger."

He gulped. "There will be a next time, Jackson! I know what you fear the most!" and he dissolved into yellow smoke.

Andy found Deimos and Clarisse in the goat area. Clarisse was on her knees. Andy ran forward but stopped suddenly when she saw how Deimos had changed form. He was Ares now: the tall god of war, raising his fist over Clarisse. "You failed me again! I told you what would happen!"

He tried to strike her, but Clarisse scrambled away. "No! Please!"

In those small words, Andy could still hear her own voice begging Phobos. The feeling of seeing it happen to someone else made everything that much worse. Andy knew she couldn't help. Clarisse had to do this alone. This was her worst fear and she had to overcome it for herself.

"Foolish girl!"

"Clarisse!" Andy yelled. "It's an illusion. It's not real. Stand up to him!"

Deimos's form flickered. "I am Ares!" he insisted. "I knew you would fail me. Now you will suffer my wrath."

"La Rue!" Andy called. "Stand up to him! Girl power, remember? Now get up!"

"I… I can't."

"Yes, you can. Because you're a girl! Because you're a warrior! Any boy in your place wouldn't be strong enough, but you are getting up now!"

She hesitated. Then Clarisse began to stand.

"What are you doing?" Ares bellowed. "Grovel for mercy!"

Clarisse took a shaky breath. "No," she said calmly. "I'm tired of being scared of you." She raised her sword. Deimos struck, but Clarisse deflected the blow. She staggered but didn't fall. "You're not Ares," she said. "You're not even a good fighter."

Deimos growled in frustration. When he struck again, Clarisse was ready. She disarmed him and stabbed him in the shoulder. He yowled in pain and began to glow. Both Clarisse and Andy averted their eyes as Deimos exploded into golden light and disappeared. They were left there beside a horse-drawn chariot.

Clarisse looked at Andy cautiously. "You didn't see that. You didn't see any of that."

Andy held her eyes. "Any of what?"

Clarisse grinned. She glanced at the sky, which was turning red behind the trees. "Get in the chariot, Jackson. We've still got a long ride to make."

Only problem was: they were on an island.

"Great," Clarisse mumbled. "What do we do now? Ride this thing across the Verrazano Bridge?"

Andy had an idea. "We'll take the direct route."

Clarisse frowned. "What do you mean?"

Andy closed her eyes and began to concentrate. "Drive straight ahead. Go!"

Clarisse was so desperate she didn't hesitate. She lashed the horses. They charged straight towards the water. Andy imagined the sea turning solid, the waves becoming a firm surface all the way to Manhattan. The war chariot hit the surf. They rode the tops of the waves straight across New York Harbor.

They arrived at Pier 86 just as the sunset was fading to purple. They parked the chariot on the ramp and jumped out. Andy almost passed out of exhaustion. Concentrating on keeping the chariot above the waves had been one of the hardest things she'd ever done.

"I'd better get out of here before Ares arrives," she decided.

Clarisse nodded. "He'd probably kill you on sight." She wrapped the reins around her hand. "About what you didn't see, Jackson... What I'm afraid of..."

"I won't tell anybody."

Clarisse looked at her uncomfortably. "Did Phobos scare you too?"

"Oh, yeah. Apparently, I'm monophobic. I didn't... I didn't know that. I guess I never thought about it."

Clarisse made a face like she thought Andy was lying. "What, you're afraid of being alone?"

"Not alone like everyone's-too-busy-to-talk-to-me. More like... everyone I love is gone? And there's nobody, just... just me." Andy pushed the thought away. "What I'm trying to say is... I know how you felt."

Clarisse lowered her eyes. "I, uh… I guess I should say…" The words seemed to stick in her throat.

"You don't have to say anything."

Andy started to walk away, but Clarisse called out, "Jackson?"

"La Rue?"

"Just to make things clear... I'd vote for you as less likely to ever be alone. You've got a lot of friends. A lot of people who... who care. It just won't happen, alright?" A faint smile crossed her face and all of her certainty flooded Andy's heart.

The End