#and i am still very sad because i think in total i've run over 1 animal in my 13 years of driving

[he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle]

Favorite Kiss Game

Rules: create a poll with five of your all time favorite onscreen kisses, setting any standard for qualification you choose. Then tag more friends to join in!

Lordt knows I love an emotion-packed kiss. While I love a sweet and soft kiss where both parties are on the same page, I also absolutely GO FERAL over an angsty kiss where it's totally mutual but both parties are 100% not remotely in the same headspace.

#1 - The Rooftop

How iconic is this? "Do you want to be friends?" The hushed, "No." The steps closer. Pat's tentative first kiss followed by Pran leading a second, very impassioned kiss as tears fall down his face because he just knows this will be their last. Meanwhile Pat is smiling in relief because their feelings are mutual.

#2 - The Yearning

Togawa has spent the entire series so far absolutely HUNGRY for his hot boss and he finally snaps, kisses him, and confesses, "I am seducing you. I've been seducing you this whole time." Meanwhile Nozue was just stunned because the junior he'd been flirting with and befriending but was too scared to actually pursue is legit into him. The kiss ends with Togawa on his knees, begging for forgiveness and Nozue fleeing.

#3 - The Remorse

ShiDe is drunk and crying and devastated and apologizing and just plain miserable, missing his ex boyfriend and regretting how he left him behind five years ago. ShuYi is hurt and angry and certain that the love of his life betrayed him, but still can't refuse his kiss because he still loves him even when he knows he shouldn't.

#4 - The Drunken Birthday

TongFah has been harboring a crush on his best friend Paper for years, and the things Paper says and does make him think maybe the feeling is mutual. So after getting sloppy drunk together for his birthday, he kisses him. This is an exquisite Drunken Kiss y'all. Like A+ for believability when neither actor was actually drunk. Anyway, turns out Paper is majorly repressed and as soon as the kiss ends he runs away and their friendship implodes. Sad face. Also: Tong!!

#5 - Hidden in the Sea

Teh totally went to town in this underwater kiss! There was boob grabbing. And lots of liplock. Like Pat, OhAew is happy because he thinks this marks a change in their relationship. But as soon as they get out of the water and are no longer hidden from view, reality is a bitch and so is Teh who says he still just wants to stay friends.

***

I would like to tag a few people to play with me, no pressure. @lurkingshan @wen-kexing-apologist @bengiyo @twig-tea @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Also, breaking up my tags in the hopes Tumblr doesn't eat them: @telomeke @respectthepetty @spicyvampire @pharawee @thisautistic

[strawberries-and-summer-days]

NICE TO OFFICIALLY MEET YOU ‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅

| percy jackson x popstar au

| au masterlist ☽

warnings: swearing and i think thats just about it!

a/n: writers block hit so hard guys its not even funny apt. anyway hope you enjoy pt 3!! im also using show! clarisse as my description

"LIA!!!!" you screech when you storm into the apartment. when she doesn't reply you get even more pissed. who the hell wakes someone up at 2 am tell them they desperately need to come over to their house now because its an emergency and then proceed to lock them out in the cold for half a goddamn hour.

"lia i swear to god im going to kick your fucking ass back to london if you don't come out here right now," you yell not even caring at this point if you wake anyone up.

"heyyy bestie," lia says coming out of the kitchen with a smile. "so glad you could make it."

from the threatening look on your face, her smile quickly fades. "ok, ok so i know its early-"

"its two-fucking-am lia, you're so very lucky that i don't kill you for this because for some reason, i've grown attached to your need self."

"i'm irreplaceable," she says. "anyway thats not why i called you here, i met some people on the subway the other day who want to meet you."

"you called me here.... to meet fans?" you say in a deathly calm tone. "lia... ITS 2:30 IN THE MORNING COULDN'T THIS WAIT UNTIL I DUNNO LIKE TEN?" you yell launching after her.

"no it couldn't wait! because this is a secret meeting, huhhh? how cool is that?" lia says running away from you into the living room. you follow after her determined to actually kill the little shit but stop short when you see three people standing and watching the ordeal.

two girls and a boy - the boy is jumping up and down with barely restrained excitement, the blonde girl is smiling, and the final girl is just watching with barely restrained boredom.

"y/n, this is grover, clarisse and annabeth." lia motions to the three of them.

you smile as politely as one can at 2:30 am and say hi back. the boy - grover - is still practically buoyant when you look at him, and its generally concerning how much energy he has.

"soo, uh what's up?" clarisse says awkwardly.

"yeah y'know nothing much, just being dragged out of bed at 2 o'clock in the morning to meet some people- by the way does he ever stop jumping?" you point to a still jumping grover. "like dude its wayy to early to be this energetic."

"no. unfortunately he's like this all the time," the brunette - clarrise - says.

"i'm sorry," grover interrupts, "im just such a huge fan of you. and i would've gotten into trouble if i had told my friend we were meeting you so thats why its at such an awful hour."

"your friend doesn't like me?"

"... he's not your biggest fan thats for sure."

☾. ⋅

yn.official

liked by underovergrover, lia.mandel, rileywest maisiehpeters, gracieabrams and 1, 268, 941 others

yn.official life recently...

view all comments

lia.mandel girls night was fun!! @/rileywest sad ur leaving again

riley.west im afraid london calls babes i'll see you girls when i get back

yn.official can't wait 🤍

user1 OMGGG SHE'S IN THE STUDIO?? AHHH

user2 what is with the studio pic?!?!?!?

user3 grover (one of percy's friends) liked the post they're totally fucking

user4 ew can you not be so gross?? just leave percy and y/n alone

user5 im dyinggg until my show!! only 3 to go ahhh

user6 THE STUDIO PIC?? AND ON TOP OF THAT THE TOUR ENDING AND PERCYY/N RUMOURS?? my heart can't take this anymore.

☾. ⋅

percyjackson

liked by underovergrover, chris.rodriguez, lukecastellan, clarisse.la.rue, the.annabethchase, lia.mandel, rileywest and 863, 459 others

percyjackson life recently...

view all comments

user1 NO NO PLS NOT THE MATCHING CAPTIONS ONE MINUTE WITHIN EACH OTHER ITS SO OBVIOUS

user2 he's so hot it hurts guys

user3 THE POSTS?!?!? AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

underovergrover that was an awful party man just thought i should let you know

percyjackson thanks g man i had absolutely no idea maybe next time don't text me abt how awful it is in front of the hosts

user4 THE MATCHING CAPTIONS AND THEIR FRIEND LIKING THE OTHERS POSTS. MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS WOULD YOU??

user5 i ship them so hard fr

user6 yeah but there is literally ANOTHER girl in the post

the.annabethchase i wonder what amazing girl is in the second photo...

☾. ⋅

"fucking y/n," percy grumbles. "i cannot do a single thing without her showing up," he scoffs throwing the phone down onto the car seat beside him. he's currently sat outside a prestigious event - for what? who knows - contemplating whether he should go in because he knows for a fact the-person-who-shall-not-be-named is in there.

sighing he picks his phone up again and gets out of the car heading towards the bustling entryway to the building. men and women in fancy dresses and suits line the hallways as and elevators as he makes his way to the rooftop.

grover and luke are already here so his first goal is to find them, avoid being sucked into any weird business deals and do not under any circumstances run into y/n.

the elevator opens and he moves out onto the rooftop, the cool breeze brushing his face, the smell of alcohol and perfume fills the air. its almost peaceful as he makes his way to the edge of building leaning on the railing to take in the view.

"quiet a view isn't it?" a voice comes from beside him.

aw fuck.

he spins around and comes face to face with the one person he was determined to avoid.

"nice to officially meet you percy jackson," you say holding out your hand.

he takes it to be polite, "right back at you y/n l/n."

☾. ⋅

☾. ⋅

TAGLIST‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ [if you're name is white it mean i couldn't tag you]

@lauptimist, @itzmeme, @mariaaaaaahhhh, @paankhaleyaar, @maybxlle,

@lara20aral, @cxp1d, @user-3113s-blog, @pleasingregulus,

@avihashearts4lix, @inlovewithmorales, @brokecollegebitch, @user-3113s-blog, @officiallyalbino

@gloryhaddock [if you want to be added just let me know!]

[motownfiction]

1-6, 17, 18

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

ok. so, i hate that this is the answer because i'm pretty sure i've given it before, and it's relatively new. but i wasn't even happy until last month, so looking back at older pieces makes me sad. but. objectively, my favorite piece of the year is "a night for a knight." it's my favorite appearance of lucy this entire year because she's so lame in it. but! apart from that, i really like this piece, "friendship." i don't know if i'd call it a favorite, and i don't see it making the retrospective. but it pairs some unexpected characters in an interesting way.

2. least favorite fic you wrote this year

with how unhappy i was this year, it could be anything. one that immediately jumps to mind is "pink water." not because it's bad, but because i had such a terrible day when i wrote it. going back to this time in my archive was genuinely difficult for me.

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

you are sending me on quite the goose chase here, aren't you? again, i can't guarantee that this will be the favorite, but "it's OK. it's just bones" was memorable. that, and "do boys even have virginity?" which sounds like a joke line, but daniel is earnestly wondering if that's what he just lost, if he lost anything at all. he's my favorite character, but they all are. these are the ones that stick with me because people tend to reblog daniel pieces with quotes.

4. total number of words you wrote this year

i don't know, and i don't have the energy or means to count them all up in separate documents.

5. most popular fic this year

i'm not sure, but i think it's "fine china."

6. least popular fic this year

i think most of my pieces get zero notes. it's my lot in life. i do, however, think "the high priestess" deserved more than zero notes. sadie has a complicated relationship with maggie, too. it's not just sam.

17. fics you’ll continue next year

maggie and roy, will joining rocky sullivan's cogito ergo sum. again, i'm not putting these off because "oh, writers start projects and never finish them!" i'm putting them off because daily prompts take priority, and my research and teaching take priority over that, too. this blog is something i very much run on the side, and the fact that i'm able to do so much and still have a very successful career feels notable.

18. current number of wips

i guess two? but again, see above. i'm not being a chicken or a lazy bones. i know exactly what i want to write, and if i had all the time in the world, they'd be long done. i am literally working my ass off at other things that i get paid for, lol

[wigglebox]

/

[ckmstudies]

Long time no see!! I really fell off on my posting these past couple of weeks. Life was moving a little quicker than I could keep up with and trying to do three study challenges at once was a little too much for me. But I miss posting on here and want to get back into posting and keeping up with this incredible community. However I think that means that I'm going to have to pause some of the fall study challenges :( I'm really sad about this as I was so looking forward to them but I think to keep myself from getting overwhelmed its for the best. Under the cut is a quick run down of everything that's been going on school wise in my life for anyone interested. Hope y'all have been doing well!

Here's all the schoolwork I've been up to these past few days:

10/21: Latin quiz and almost cried talking to the professor because I was so overwhelmed and confused by the way she teaches Latin :(

10/23: Advanced accounting study group for an upcoming exam.

10/24: Three exams this upcoming week so I got in almost six hours of studying trying to prepare.

10/25: Took my accounting exam. Totally freaked myself out halfway through and screwed myself over but it wasn't too bad of a mess.

10/26: Made an A- on my developmental psych exam from last week which I am very happy about :) spent a lot of time studying for my social psych exam tomorrow.

10/27: took the social psych exam. I think it went better than the last exam in that class but I don't think I made an A. I really don't like that professor which is a shame because I like the subject matter. Went to a study session for my Latin exam tomorrow and spent a good bit of the night studying.

10/28: Studied for the Latin exam in the morning before taking it. It went fine but I really think I'll be lucky to get a C which sucks :/

10/30: Started a paper for my social psych class that's due on Thursday.

10/31: finished the social psych paper but I want to show it to the professor for his opinion before turning it in.

11/1: Got the multiple choice portion of last week's social psych exam back and it was a B- which is fine but I'm really hoping the free response portion can pull it up a little higher. I also got my advanced accounting exam from last week back. I made a B- but with a few bonus points I pulled it up to a B. It's a pretty good grade technically but it was the lowest in the class. It also brought my overall grade in the class down to an A-. But I think I still have time to pull it up before the end of the semester :)

Here's my upcoming assignments for the rest of the fall semester:

11/3: Social psych paper due

11/4: Latin quiz

11/9: Developmental psych exam 3

11/10: Advanced accounting exam 3

11/11: Latin quiz

11/18: Latin final exam

11/30: Developmental psych final

11/30: Developmental psych paper due

11/30 Latin final presentation

12/2: Social psych final

12/5: Advanced accounting final

Unknown dates: Social psych quiz, social psych paper, advanced accounting quiz, more Latin quizzes

if you made it this far you get this flower :) 🌸

[king-bee-sting]

Diluc x Chaotic! Baker! Reader

"What're you doing?"

"Mind your fucking business, fire pubes!"

Diluc had awoken late into the night to hear banging all the way from the kitchen. It was so late that all of the maids had retired to bed. So why were you up? In the kitchen with a bunch if pots?

"It's sad boi hours!"

Ah, that's why. Diluc is no stranger to your late-night intrusive thoughts, but coming to the kitchen to bake is new.

"And so you're making a cake?" He asked, crossing his arms and gazing at the mess of batter, eggs, mixing spoons, and bowls.

"It's better than jumping off a cliff, isn't it?" You retorted. Lack of sleep and frenzied emotions making you a bit more snappy than your usual self.

"I can't say eating away your feelings is a good idea either, but it is a significant step up," he sighed, running his fingers through his hair, freed from its usual ponytail. "Well, do you want some help? Or perhaps some company?"

"Yes."

Diluc hummed, a slight smile as he made his way over behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist while you mixed the cake batter. He knew you would talk about what was bothering you when you were ready. Sometimes you didn't talk about it at all. He didn't care as long as you never hurt yourself and did the correct things to make yourself feel better.

"It's like a reward," you mumbled. "I work through things and I get a treat."

"And cupcakes is your treat for today?" Diluc questioned, eyeing the bake pan already prepped with liners.

"Black cupcakes," you corrected, adding food dye. "It's like I'm eating my bad thoughts, making sure that they don't hurt me anymore."

"Well, that's actually a lovely way of putting it." He buried his face into the crook of your neck, drowsiness starting to take hold of him once again.

"Why don't you go back to bed," you tempted, feeling bad for waking him up.

"Don't want to," he mumbled, starting to sway your bodied to a silent rythm. "I like you too much to just go to bed alone."

Wow, being tired sure did bring out a softer side of Diluc. You unwrapped his arms from your waist to put the newly poured cupcakes into the oven, taking the previous batch out.

"Say," you started, turning towards the man of your dreams, seeing him watch you while he leaned against the counter. "I sure have made a lot of cupcakes... Do you think you'd be willing to give them away at Angel's Share?"

Diluc smiled softly, "Sure. If there's one thing drunks enjoy other than alcohol, it's food."

The rest of the baking seemed to go by quickly. Once Diluc came in, you stopped mixing batter, so once your final batch came out of the oven, you put them to the side and turned off the appliance.

"I'll decorate them in the morning," you announce, wiping your hands on a towel. "I've kept us both up for too long."

You took Diluc's hand, turning off the light, leading him out of the kitchen, and back up to your room. Snuggling back under the covers, you got comfy up against your lover, looking up at his eyes.

"Do you feel better?" He asked softly, stroking your cheek with his fingers.

"Yea," you smiled. "I might bake more often, not just to distract myself. It's really fun."

"And messy," he teased, scrunching up his nose with a silly smile.

"So I'm not the cleanest. You still love me."

"I do, very much so."

He leaned in and placed a gentle peck against your lips. You two then hunkered down once more for the night.

The next day, while tired from your late-night escapade, fulfilled your promise of decorating your cupcakes, while Diluc fulfilled his own by taking your creations to his tavern, leaving some for you and the help. Many of his patrons were overjoyed at the baked goods and even more excited at the fact that they were free. When asked why, he simply said they were a gift to his customers from his partner.

After that, you got more into baking and started doing it as a hobby. Eventually with how often and how much you made each time, Diluc suggested partnering with him, selling your goods at his tavern or even opening up a small kiosk in the city. In the end you turned that idea down, saying that you enjoy making people full and happy, their smiles more than enough payment. Of course, Diluc rolled his eyes at that, but didn't pressure you to sell anything.

Totally not at all inspired by the fact that i baked cupcakes at 1 am because of sad boi hours

And no they weren't good

But god what i wouldnt give to be a little bakery bitch with a wine tycoon for a boyfriend

-mod ein

[lutelyre]

1, 5, 7, and 8, you know what fandom we share. :)

hiiiii lazy!! thanks for asking me!! <3

1. A character I used to hate but have since warmed up to: idk if i ever like hated anyone (outside of like, of course, Mukotsu. duh). but the first time I watched IY I had such a hard time getting excited/interested in Kohaku. He felt bland and wet blanket sad to bby me (fr i was in middle school. I wanted to watch the hot angsty teen dog boys, not the pasty middle school kid who alternates between looking like someone is about to steal his lunch money and just like. total dissociation, lol). BUT BOY OH BOY. Upon more recent rewatches as an adult I'm just like BREAKING MY HEART over this sweet scared child who becomes a competent killing machine and his royally fucked up storyline. truly, whump. He's much more complex than I initially gave him credit for.

5. A character I love but everyone else hates: okay yes, people don't like actually hate him, really, he's literally in of one of the MOST popular fandom ships. But imo people tend to judge Miroku p hard. Like the pervert stuff, i get it, i know. I get that those aspects of him are flaws that turn people off. that's valid. Perhaps bc he's a pretty main character and he's fun to ship with Sango, people like him despite that, and so I see a lot of correcting/changing his behavior in fic to make him moral/good and less slimy. I do like those fics too, and i do some of this tweaking in my own writing too, ofc. but i think instead of liking Miroku in spite of his flaws, i love him because of them, which is sentiment i don't see as often? I LOVE that he's immoral, that he's a little trash slut (affectionate), that he's sneaky and vain, a conman running for his life and taking what he can get. Give me a Miroku who's in over his head and still asks for more. Give me a Miroku who's shallow and desperate, who knows but doesn't tell. Give me a Miroku who's fucked up.

To be more literal in terms of a character everyone hates, i also really love Naraku. I think most people hate him indiscriminately bc he so quickly goes from "intriguing villain with unique backstory" to "oh god no not the BeEs AgAiN" (bee's here being a equivalent to an overused plot mechanic and unnecessarily complicated objectives), but hey, the bees worked, right!! We all kept watching anyway!! Now there's a trash slut. Main character energy baby, always. Naraku's nastiness is selfish and overwrought in the anime, but also weirdly fascinating to me.

7. An unpopular ship I’ll nevertheless go down with I am a multishipper tried and true, I love to put everyone with anyone. Did two characters I like maybe interact once in a single episode of canon?? Did they appear next to each other for 3 seconds in one anime opening song?? if so, then there's a 95% chance I've thought about what it could be like if they fucked. It is what it is; I'm like this for literally every fandom i dabble in. The point of this is to say most of the ships i like to write are "unpopular" bc rare pair hell is a real place. We don't have cookies but we do have fluffy cheerleader pom poms for cheering on unusual content. In a fandom like Inuyasha, where nearly ALL fics fall within 2-4 main pairings, it's fun to flex those rare pair muscles more often for all the juicy possibilities of this wonderful world and it's wonderful characters. IY rare pairs ALWAYS need more love. I contain multitudes, okay? On that note, a list of unpopular/rare ships that currently have me in a chokehold, in no particular order: Kagura/Kikyou Inuyasha/Miroku Sesshomaru/Miroku Inuyasha/Miroku/Sango poly!

8. A fan favorite ship I just don’t get Okay i just ranted about being a multi-shipper, so this is actually sort of tough. Even if there are pairings i don't find particularly interesting/stimulating, i've probably read fic and enjoyed fic featuring it. If pushed, Koga/Kagome is a pretty popular ship I have to be in a very specific mood to enjoy. Not to say i wouldn't ever read it, but it's are a toughie.

Of course, now I'm challenging myself to think about it and i mean... well... it's not like his whole vibe isn't hot af....i COULD see it if....

*trundles off to muddle things over in multi-ship land*

[hearts4-robin]

# flying colors - Katsuki Bakugo

# genre - fluffy angst

# pairing - Katsuki Bakugo x y/n (no specific gender)

# warnings - yelling, swearing, inappropriate words, intense arguments, crying, anxiety, trauma, panic/anxiety attack

# ages - Katsuki Bakugo: 16 - y/n: 16

# authors note - I hope you like this short story (: let me know if you like it and send in some requests! <# this story haven't been read through and English isn't my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes etc.

------------------------------------------

# - Thursday - 01.46 a.m. - U.A. Class 1-A dorm building - #

You had forgotten what you were arguing about. But it was heated. It was horrible, the yelling from your boyfriend was driving you crazy. He had just came back from another late extra practice and he had been lacking on giving you any attention. You got that you were both hardworking students but you missed the tingling feeling from when he'd hold you close at 2am while discussing why Mineta is a total asshole.

"You never talk to me anymore!" You voice almost cracked as the words left your mouth. Katsuki's frown sunk deeper, his vein in his neck starting to pulse faster. "Maybe I don't want to pay attention to you, y/n! Ever thought about WHY I always practice so late?" he snapped back. You could clearly see how he was holding back his anger. "Well- no, I haven't-" the thought struck you like one of Kamanari's shocks. "Are you cheating on me?" Katsuki's eyes widened as he watched tears prickle up in your eyes. "What-, no what kind of boyfriend do you actually think I am?" He was yelling. On the brink of screaming at you. "Clearly one who avoids me! Avoids my company! If you're so sick of hanging out with me, why don't you just go right ahead and break up with me?" Now you were yelling too. Holding back wasn't a thing anymore. You watched as Katsuki's hands started releasing small explosions as I his eyes turned darker. You couldn't tell if it was in disappointment, anger or sadness.

"Now why would you say that! Huh? Why?" He was screaming, a hidden growl and sadness under his voice. "Because it's how I feel, Katsuki!" you frowned deeper as your nails dug into the palms of your hands, creating small moon-shaped marks. "I don't care about how you feel, y/n!" You immediately felt a sting of pain in your chest as you watched your boyfriend clench his fist and walk past you and into his dorm room. Well aware that he just woke up half the for building, he slammed the door shut. You covered your mouth with your hand as warm salty tears started streaming down your cheeks. How could he say that to you?

"y/n-chan?-" You looked up, snapping out of the daze you had fallen into. The worried face of your fellow classmate, Eijiro Kirishima, appeared from his bedroom door. "Are you okay? I couldn't help but overhear you and Bakubros argument." He stated as he walked out the door and closing it, revealing himself in a fated red sweatshirt with a big 'Crimson Riot' over the chest and a pair of black pajama pants. You shook your head no at his question as he walked towards you in his big slippers. He frowned worridly as he allowed himself to wrap his arms around you and pull you into a hug. You let out a low sob before you buried your face in Eijiros chest. "H-He doesn't ca-care-, he doesn't care a-about me anymore!" You clung onto Eijiro as he rubbed your back in soothing circles in hope of calming down your mixed feelings. Your chest hurt, your throat was sore and your head was pounding in a quick pace.

"You know Bakubro-, he's not always easy to handle. He won't tell you but he really does love you. He cares for you a lot, y/n." Eijiro looked at you as he lowered his arms around you. You looked at your red haired classmate before he looked towards Katsuki's bedroom. "Give him three days alright? If he doesn't do anything, dump him. I know it sounds harsh but that's the rule I've lived after and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. Think about it." You nodded at his words before wiping your tears off your cheeks, even though you knew they'd be back as soon as you'd close your bedroom door. "Good. Sleep well dude! I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow. Don't stay up too late!" Eijiro grinned cheekily as he waved at you. He closed his door as he disappeared behind it. Your lip quivered as you slowly walked to the elevator. You weakly pressed the button to summon the elevator. Stepping inside after the doors opened with a low 'ding!' you leaned against the wall. You pressed the button to your dorm floor before the elevator moved slowly. You rewinded the whole argument in front of you, everything passing like flying colors with all the wrong shades.

The elevator once again let out a 'ding!' before the doors slit open. Sniffling, you walked out of the elevator with your head down. "Young y/n."

You looked up with slightly wide eyes as you heard Mr. Aizawa speak. "M-Mister Aizawa-" You got cut off by his stare. It told you everything. You bowed before walking to your room. "I'll go to sleep. I'm sorry for waking you up." You sniffled back a few tears before you closed your bedroom door after you. Letting out a small sob, you feel onto your bed. You felt absolutely miserable. You felt horrible. The pain and guilt in your chest had spread to your stomach and you felt sick to the guts as you broke down in tears again. After almost 6 months with Katsuki as your #1 wingman and your boyfriend, hearing his words hurt you. 'I don't care about how you feel, y/n!'

Those 8 words burned in the very front of your brain while you tried to sleep, escape from the aching pain.

# - Thursday - 05.30 a.m. - U.A. Class 1-A dorm building - #

You had been wide awake for the past 30 minutes, distracting yourself by getting ready. Brushing your hair, getting dressed in your uniform and doing whatever was left to do. Your appetite was small, but your stomach still craved some food. You opened the door and stepped out, rubbing your tired eyes. You followed the other few classmates on your hall to the elevator.

“Good-morning y/n…” You looked to your right to see Ashido yawning, dark circles under her eyes. “Good-morning Ashido-. Didn’t you sleep?” She leaned back and stretched her arms, her shirt rising a little as the elevator continued moving down slowly. “Not much-, Bakugo was throwing around with stuff all night! Mr. Aizawa had to tell him to keep it down and go to bed. Nobody knows what’s going on with him right now.” She yawned again after finishing off. A little sting poked you in your chest as she spoke before the elevator let out another ‘ding!’. The door opened, revealing Katsuki, Izuku, Tenya and Eijiro at the table. You and Ashido walked towards the table, and both sat down. You sat down beside Tenya, as far away from Katsuki as possible, which was odd. Very odd. Katsuki was frowning more as usual before he angrily got up from the table and violently grabbing his tray of breakfast. You avoided eye contact at all costs. You looked at the tray of food Tenya had pushed towards you. You looked up to see everybody at the table looking at you with various different expressions. Worry, confusion and awaiting. “y/n… What happened?” You looked at Tenya as he spoke. You poked to your food, the appetite you had earlier suddenly disappearing. “Nothin’.” You mumbled before standing up, holding your tray with weak hands. You left the table to the kitchen.

You froze in your tracks as you saw Katsuki in his usual black shirt with the white print on. He was holding his empty tray in his hands as the unfinished food was thrown in the nearest bin. He glared at you before tossing the tray on the counter and leaving the room. You looked after him, tears prickling and threating to escape from your tear-bags. You placed your full tray on the counter before walking back to the common area. Those moments that felt like hours in the kitchen was just a few minutes. Within those minutes, Katsuki had left the dorm and just about everyone else was up and eating. Walking towards the shoe racks, you picked up your shoes and slipped them on. You stepped out the door, already feeling the early morning cold from December. You stepped onto the road leading towards the school and started walking.

"y/n! Wait up!-" You looked behind you, seeing, once again, Eijiro running towards you while clumsily putting on his shoes. "Eijiro?..." You voice was sore from barely talking this morning. Usually, you get along with Tsu and Ashido pretty well, Yaoyorozu too.

Eijiro caught up to you as you both started walking. "Did you hear Bakubro yesterday?" He looked at you, adjusting hid headband. You shook your head. "No. Ashido told me about how Mr. Aizawa had to stop it." You were mumbling, you never mumbled around people like Eijiro. "Hm.. He'll get better. How are you feeling today? Did you get sleep yesterday?" You both reached the front of the school. He opened the door for you as you, once again, shook your head. "Hard time falling asleep?" You nodded at his question as he walked in behind you. "Do you need to talk about anything? I suck at advice but I'm always here to listen!" You nodded, smiling a little bit. You truly were grateful for people who checked up on you like Eijiro did. You both entered the empty classroom.

"Where's Bakubro?" Eijiro looked around, frowning in confusion. "I think her went for a walk or something like that. I don't know, he didn't tell me..." You dozed off as you sat down in your seat. "Tenya should be here soon." You stated as Eijiro sat down, leaning back in his seat. "Tenya is so manly! Taking responsibility to keep the class in line!" You nodded as Eijiro continued to ramble about manliness. Soon, the class was filled up, even Katsuki had shown up.

You were laid over your desk, looking up towards Mr. Aizawa as he spoke. Another practice day. The costumes slid out the wall, everybody standing up to grab their case with their costume.

# - Thursday - 08.27 a.m. - U.A. Gym Gamma - #

"Wow, y/n! Did you choose a new color scheme? It matches Bakugo's!" You looked down at yourself as Ashido, Kamanari and Tokoyami admired your new costume. You nodded at their questions. "I did. I don't know if he likes it." You were mumbling again. Kamanari opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Cementoss.

"Alright, everybody. Pair up in two and try improve your quirks." Everybody nodded and paired up in two. Mezo walked up to you, kindly asking if you wanted to pair up. You nodded as you both walked to one of the platforms. Using you quirk, you made your way up to the platform along with Mezo.

# - Thursday - 10.58 a.m. - U.A. Gym Gamma - #

"T-Ten-... Tentacole-..." You crouched forward, your lungs hurting as you gasped for air. "I-I need a break." Mezo immediately stopped his movements as he noticed your shaking limps. "y/n? Are you okay?-" He runs to you, helping you sit down. "Shit..." Your head started spinning as your breathing became uneven. You could feel Mezo's multiple arms wrap around you to support you.

"LOOK AT ME WHEN WE'RE FIGHTING, SHITTY HAIR!" Eijiro looked away from you and towards Bakugou who was flying towards him. He quickly shielded himself and hardened his arms. "WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU CAN'T LOOK AT ME?" he screamed as he dodged one of Eijiro's hits. He looked away again, Bakugou taking his chance to land a hit on Eijiro. "y/n-" Eijiro fell back as he kept his eyes locked on your small form being supported in Mezo's arms. "y/n? WHAT ABOUT HER?!" Bakugou was furious, letting out all the anger from the night before. He looked around, finding it weird for shitty hair to talk so much about you. His eyes widened as he saw you, knowing what was happening to you just now. He quickly took off in a run. "Y/N!"

You looked up weakly, seeing Katsuki flying towards you. "Katsuki..." You let out a small cry as you tried calming down your breath. Your vision started blurring. "y/n! Squidward get away from her!" Mezo knew better than to talk back. He looked at you before slowly letting go of you as Katsuki ran to you, gently picking you up and into his embrace. "Are you mad?! What the fuck happened-" He didn't look worried but you knew he was. The glint in his eyes showed it. "y/n- breathe. Did you drink and eat? Of course you didn't- you left as soon as you saw me, you little dipshit." He grumbled under his breath as the others started to notice Bakugo screams fading. He picked you up and jumped down, running towards a place to put you down. Cementoss approached you both but you vision was failing you right now.

"What happened?" He looked at the two of you. "She's having a panic attack. Water." Katsuki sat down with you, holding you close. "I'm sorry, firecracker-. I shouldn't have said that-" He held you closer as Cementoss walked out to get you some water. "It's okay-" "No shut up. It's not. Don't fucking say anything." He growls at you as he sits down, leaning against the gym wall and laying you between his legs. He ripped off his big hand gear and threw them beside you both before propping you up against his chest. "Breathe. Breathe you dumb-ass-" he took a deep breath as you tried to follow his breathing pattern. "It's okay. I got you. I won't let anyone, not me either, hurt you." He was whispering now, gently caressing your arm. Cementoss returned with a bottle of water. Katsuki quickly grabbed the bottle and ripped the cap off before gently helping you chug down the water. "We'll wait till lunch. Cementoss, the time." He looked at Cementoss. "It's 11.47. Lunch is in about 15 minutes." Katsuki nodded before he looked back at you. You were blinking slowly, your breathing back to normal now as he lowly talked to you.

"It's okay. I got you. And I'm not letting go of you again, never."

[danurso]

Snow Angel

Part 2 / Part 1

*in a clearing*

Alexander: *yanks crocea mors from jaune's hands*

Jaune: *7 y/o, falls on his knees*

Alexander: what did i told you about playing with the sword of the family!?

Jaune: i-i wasn't playing, i was training to-

Alexander: to what!? Be a huntsman!? I already told you you're not fit this job!

Jaune: *eyes getting teary* i don't care! I. . .i just want to be a hero.

Alexander: oh really!? You want to be like the idiot of your grandfather who died to save a handful of people who don't even care about him anymore!? Do you really want to just run face first into a grimm so he can kill you!?

Jaune: *shaken, starts crying* i. . .i just want to help people and be strong to protect them.

Alexander: then be a medic or a firefighter! Because you will never be a huntsma- *a black glyph shows up below him, on the next second alexander is catapulted away to the sky*

Jaune: *looks confused to the sky before looking back at a white haired woman who just came out of a portal*

Adult Weiss: *sigh* you did told me you father was complicated to deal with, i just couldn't imagine how much of my father he would remind me.

Jaune: who. . .who are you?

Weiss: *gives him a warm smile and kneels in front of him, wiping his tears* who do you think i am?

Jaune: are. . .are you an angel?

Weiss: *chuckles* you think i'm an angel?

Jaune: *nods slowly* yeah, you look like you're an angel but made out of snow.

Weiss: so, like a snow angel?

Jaune: yes. . .are you a snow angel?

Weiss: yeah, i'm your snow angel and i came here today to tell you something, so listen carefully, okay?

Jaune: o-okay.

Weiss: people around you might be mean most of the times, they'll say you will never become what you want to be and that it's impossible for you to be a hero.

Jaune: *eyes drop to the ground* i know. . .

Weiss: but you know what? *holds his face and makes him look at her, giving him a kind smile* these peoples are wrong, because i KNOW that you'll be the greatest of heroes one day.

Jaune: *still a bit depressed* how? My family doesn't want me to be a huntsman. . .they want me to keep being the same forever, how can i be a hero like that someday if i can't even train?

Weiss: *let go of his face and lifts her shirt slightly, showing him a small scar* do you know what is this?

Jaune: a scar?

Weiss: yes, i've got into many battles on the place i'm from, and this scar is the result of one of these battles. . .one of the bad guys tried to kill me while i was distracted, and she would've killed me of it wasn't for one detail.

Jaune: what detail?

Weiss: *pokes his nose* you.

Jaune: *confused* me?

Weiss: *nods* you saved me on that day, i would be dead now if it wasn't for you, and i am definitely not the only one.

Jaune: am i. . .am i really going to be a hero?

Weiss: yes you will, just never give up, even when your parents say they disapprove your choice or that they expect you to fail, don't you ever think about give up okay? Because one day you'll be a great hero for remnant. . .

Jaune: *freezes, feeling weiss holding his cheeks and giving him a kiss on the forehead, before giving him another another smile, the most beautiful until now*

Weiss: . . .And an even greater hero for me.

Jaune: *blushes deeply*

Weiss: well, i need to go now. oh, and by the way, when you get to beacon and meet a white haired heiress, please don't give up on her, she might look like she doesn't care about anyone but she's just sad and lonely because of a rough life, just be honest with her and i know that she'll eventually warm up for you.

Jaune: *confused* w-wait, what?

Weiss: you'll get it some day. Goodbye jaune, until our next meeting *walks through the portal and disappears*

Jaune: . . .wow.

Saphron: *walks in* hey there shortie, what are you doing here? Mom is sick worried with you after dad came crashing through the roof.

Jaune: i was. . .talking to someone.

Saphron: *holds his hand and starts walking back home* really? who were you talking to?

Jaune: an angel made out of snow.

Saphron: *chuckles* oh really? And what did this "snow angel" looked like?

Jaune: she was tall, her skin was white almost like snow, her hair was totally white, her eyes were blue like ice, she had a scar in one of her eyes and. . .

Saphron: and what?

Jaune: and. . . *blushes* she had a really pretty face.

Saphron: ohh *grinning* did you fell in love with an angel lil' bro?

Jaune: *blushing more* n-no, i didn't!

Saphron: whatever you say. *picks him up and lifts him over her head, sitting him on her shoulders* so, are you okay? I heard from dad that he caught you training again.

Jaune: yeah, i'm okay.

Saphron: really? Cause you usually gets gloomy for a week after dad's famous demotivational speeches.

Jaune: i know, but i'm not sad anymore.

Saphron: why? Does it have something to do with the snow angel you met?

Jaune: yeah, she told me people around me are going to be mean and try to make me give up, but that i should keep trying and never give up because one day i'll be the greatest of all heroes!

Saphron: *chuckles* well, if an angel said that then there's no reason to doubt it.

Jaune: yeah. . . *looks down* i just wanted to know where did she went.

Saphron: don't worry, i bet you'll see her again.

Jaune: you think so?

Saphron: of course, now let's go back home so mom doesn't have a heart attack.

Jaune: *smiling* okay!

*ten years later, at beacon*

Saphron: did you got everything? Sword, shield, motion sickness pills?

Jaune: yes saph, for the thousandth time, i got everything already.

Saphron: *hugs him* sorry baby bro, but it's just too hard for me to see you go like that.

Jaune: *blushing* saph please, we're in the middle of the courtyard.

Saphron: just a little bit more.

Jaune: okay, thats good for now. *breaks free* love you saph, but i need to go now. *hurries away*

Saphron: call me when you get some free time!

Jaune: *looks back* sure! I'll call you when i get some- *bumps on someone, falling on the ground.*

???: oww, aren't you paying attention you idi-

Jaune: oww, sorry i- *freezes, staring at a very familiar white haired girl*

Jaune: . . .

Wess: . . .

Jaune/Weiss: *deep red* S-snow angel?/M-mister knight?

Jaune/Weiss: *confused* w-what?

Saphron/Klein: *watching everything*

Saphron: *looks at klein*

Klein: *looks at saphron*

Saphron: are you with her?

Klein: i believe yes miss, i am her butler. May i ask, are you with him?

Saphron: yup, he's my baby brother.

Klein: oh right.

Saphron: . . .

Klein: . . .

Saphron: *grins* are we on the same page here?

Klein: *grinning back* i believe we are.

Jaune/Weiss: *confused flustred noises*

[thebigsimp]

Marco x f!reader - how can I live without you ?

SEASON 1 SPOILER ! 

summary:  It's sad, then it's cute but you quickly become sad again because you remember what was sad at the beginning and the end is sad but it's also beautiful I hope

content:  Marco spoiler season 1 f!reader/s.o

word counts: 1.3K

tw: death 

notes: I swear to god I want to cry every time I think about this shit, he definitely deserved better... btw I didn't read it through since I've wrote it soooo you can totally say it's trash I won't mind, I guess. It's just that it's been a long time since I've posted and it just feels weird to not post still in finals exams tho but I got time to post this just for you if actually someone read it anyway ! hope you enjoy this sad writing.

I Knew  Marco and I were made for each other, and now it’s like all of my life is collapsing before my eyes. 

When Jean came up to me I knew, I don’t know how but I instantly knew that something was wrong. that Marco was dead. 

I tried to convince myself that he would come back at some point and that it was only one sick joke, but he never did, at least alive. 

“Hurry y/n we are not getting late again !” Marco was standing against the frame of my door watching me struggling with his teasing smile, knowing that I wasn't paying attention to his words. I’m screwed, I lost the bracelet that Marco gave me for our one year anniversary and we were about to go to a day of training...  “wait wait please , I don’t know where I put it Marco and I-” and his laughing now, god If I could listen to his laugh all day long, life would be perfect.

“You know y/n no one is going to see that you don’t have your bracelet...” said Marco walking towards me with is reassuring smile. “This is the one we gave each other Marco I don’t go out without it !”, I was about to curse when we heard our commandant shout the names of the cadets, shit we are really late aren’t we...

“We are in training for the entire day honey, you will find it when we get back home tonight” “but Marco I-” “I’ll help you to find it but we need to go before commandant Sadies find out that we are late, let’s go” he’s right I don’t want to end up like Sasha. 

For whatever reason commandant Sadie didn’t say anything when he saw us running in line but instead continued the call up our name, he might be up to something. 

“Listen up cadets, today is a very physical day, the training is going to be difficult and you won’t get back here until 11pm, so I hope you got a great sleep because I will need you at 100. I've prepared some groups exercices for todays training, it’s to build your  team work assets because for what I saw previously you guys don’t understand the basics of it. I need teams of five ! hurry up so we can start” I take a look at the cadets, I mean he isn’t wrong but everyone seems to focus on getting into the military police, so of course they aren't going to team up. Now I know why they are training us to have great team work, they want us to join the survey corps. But sometimes I can see Mikasa, Armin and Eren helping each other, I mean it's more Mikasa and Armin helping Eren but sure. Reiner and Bertholdt are always together same goes for Christa and Ymir and Connie and Sasha. Jean, Marco and I are quite close as well. We all are close to each other but not as a team like they want...

“ So babe do you want to be with us ?” says Marco “Huh?” Marco, Jean, Connie and Sasha were looking at me waiting for an answer I presume, “Marco isn’t she your girlfriend or something ?” Connie say  “Hey but it doesn’t mean that we have to be with each other all the time you know” says Marco looking at me with a teasing smile, Jean snort a little at Marco’s intervention “you guys are literally together every time !” “I know Jean, so babe ?” “I guess we can team up this time” “good”. 

The tree others were physically cringing to the conversations Marco and I were having. “ babe you know what we could do right know ?” “what ? honey?” “well we can go somewhere calm and you know cuddles until it’s our turn to go training...” “you guys are so disgusting I swear” “Jean they are literally talking about cuddling” “Sasha, Jean is right, they are disgusting” “oh my fucking god guys cuddling is just cuddling I’m not gonna fuck my girlfriend here” “Wooaaaw Marco your innocence ?!”. If only Jean knew... 

At the end of the day, everyone were tired, people were crawling back to their room, some others were going straight to eat, we clearly needed to rest. Marco took me in his arm and carrying me to my room. 

“Marco cuddle, cuddle, cuddle” As he was about to exit the room “I need to get you food honey, I’m coming back as soon as I get you some, alright ?” "alright"

that night we just cuddled while talking about our future, our future together.

" y/n I'm about to say something crazy so don't freak out" I looked at him with an amused face "alright Marco say what's on your mind already" Marco pushed a string of hair away from my face with a fond smile before talking again " Well I know we just join the military and that training isn't over, let alone that we havent started fighting against titans and that all of that will probably take a will before we find a way to stop this madness but I'm already thinking of our future" I got up to face him "our future ?" "yes, you and me, living somewhere calm, not far away from our friends but still pretty far so it looks like we are alone together. We can get married, have children, I want a daughter and a son, and we can maybe start a little school together like our parents..." oh yes before the fall of the walls my parents along side Marco parents were proud teachers they dedicated their lives to make sure that we could have the proper education even with those difficult times "I would love that Marco" Marco face light up at my words "we could discover so many things behind those walls and and-" "we will be able to teach something new everyday" Marco smiled at me " you read my mind, I told you we were made for each other" I rolled my eyes before giving a slight punch to his right shoulder "ouch".

"I love you y/n, we will be together trying to navigate life together" "until the end" "until the end are you kidding me even in the other side we will be together" "Marco I was trying to be dramatic" "I know but I just don't like to know that you are thinking of your death like that, you know especially when I'm right here, to protect you" I giggled at is sudden confidence " I know right how can live without you ?" " I don't know it is a miracle that you manage to live to the day we've met" " Marco oh my god haha"

Who would've known that the end of us would happened so quickly.

I miss having you arm around me, I miss seeing your smile every time I say something, I miss the warmth of your body against mine. I miss your wise words. I miss everything.

Jean isn't the same anymore, he saw you laying there lifeless. If they hadn't choose to put me somewhere else I would've been with you, I would've try to save you. I wasn't there when you needed me, I wasn't there when this titan crushed our hopes and destroyed our future.

I know that you would probably want the best for me, you want me to be happy, you want to enjoy my life while I'm still alive. And to be completely honest with you I don't know how it could be possible, but both of know what happened that night when we talk about our future we also made a promise to each other, and I am going to make sure to make you proud from who you are, and when my time is here you'll be happy to see me again, and we will live our future.

[tslasvegas]

Episode 4: “I'm sorry Daddy, I've been very naughty.” - Keegan

Dan and JAKE! A WORD IN MY OFFICE PLEASE! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

Wow! Today was A Day to say the least. I feel like boo boo the fool with how things went down today, but hopefully, I can recover from that now that there’s a new tribe. I’m excited to get to know new people, but sad to see my old alliances have to come to an end. I guess we’ll see what happens

Finally a swap and golly 5 OG Palazzo! I really hope this works in our favor. Kinda nervous for Joey and Stephanie tho because now they are in the minority of their tribe. I do hope they’ll find a way to survive till merge

LMFAO IM... watching the tribal council for the other tribe and I'm SORRY??? Who the fuck is Jake S he is the most condescending man I've ever seen in my entire life YIKES. Anyways this swap is nice.. I think I've got a good group, I really hope we win the next few immunities because I 1) really dont want to see Rachael on this tribe and 2) i want to try and rebuild my um. tattered relationships. I did the best I could in the challenge for tonight, I'll try to come back tomorrow a little more renewed cus I'm kinda wiped out from today's events. Now that my tribal council cherry has been popped for this Org its time to go crazy woop

So good not to check Luxor anymore! 

Well last tribal went fine, I got to see what was in the Prize Vault which is awesome; now I have a better idea of the twist. Big problem though- Our swap put me in the minority. I was running Luxor and had a core 4, now they have 5 OG Pink so they can pluck us off, one at a time. I went from drivers seat to getting driven over. We need to win the challenge, so I'm gonna go ham in winterbells and hope to pull it out.

We swapped! I think I made a confessional already, but honestly I don't remember. I gave Livingston some of my chips so he can go visit the vault after the immunity challenge. We'll see what is in there and for how much, and maybe snatch up some real nice items to help us out. I've also got Andrew on my side, which is great and he's apparently quite tight with Pat, which is fantastic. Mo is a pretty decent dude and I've been talking with Jake a lot today. Things are going alright. I just hope we can win this challenge. 

Phew, while the swap was not ideal. I was really liking my tribe, we were kind of quiet but individually everyone was great and we also kicked butt at challenges! Anyway, the swap with numbers wise not great, but I know Xavi from a previous game and we have a solid relationship, I hope he and John and Joey and myself can build a solid squad to make it to the merge. The challenge was rough tbh, I am not great at video games, but I think I did ok... Jaiden got like 20 trillion points on a game so really I have no idea how I did. Hoping for the best!

I am losing my mind in my personal life so I am sorry that I have been mia. I appreciate the patience from the hosts and my tribe. It makes me still want to play even though I've been kinda invisible. I'm aware of that. I'll fix it. I promise. Otherwise, its been pretty good as a tribe so far. Andrew, Pat, and NIk and i are all really close from other games, so we're good and Andrew and Pat and I are together, which is just really unfair if you ask me. I can't wait to start scheming!

Uhhhhhh.................................... anyways........ yall hear somethin? Oh I hear something. It's the sound of Joey literally blowing himself up to me hardcore!!!! The narcissism and arrogance really jumped out on this one. So Joey had the idea of calling tonight to go over some stuff and honestly out of the 2 hours we spent, I think about 45-60 mins of it was rather nice and I do feel that I enjoy his presence, but omg... his desire for control is so noticeable and its kinda gross. Joey and I debriefed on what went down on Bellagio and I totally understand why there was the difference in us discussing tribe dynamics - I had to give up all my info while he kinda kept things more reserved. I want to assume this is because of the fact that I went to tribal and he hasn't until now. I won't judge him for that. However, after this he's kinda like dictating the fact that an OG Bellagio needs to go home. Ben is the easier person to throw under the bus since he didn't even bother to do the challenge/let us know what's up. Not a big fan of that, but aight. Then Joey starts suggesting we vote out Kailyn...?? Uh... not on my watch. I have to make it up to Kailyn at least a little bit so even though she's probably got a loaded gun pointed at my head rn, I want to defuse the situation rather than start throwing her out there as a potential target. Even if it isn't coming from me, I'm not here for that. The information that Joey did give up to me relates to the chips in the game. I've never paid much attention to the chips, but I guess it takes 10 to get into the vault and Joey's got between 11 and 15 (he changed his answer on the subject SEVERAL times). He says there are three idols worth 40 chips each, then a super idol worth I think 50 or 60 (can't remember). On top of that, there are nullifiers, vote advantages, and a legacy advantage, too. He seems fixated on the legacy advantage and really wants the chips to get it. Like.. ok do you but we NEED the super idol?? Does he not realize that thing has more power than anything else in the vault combined..? ANYWAYS. What really started to turn me off about Joey is that there was this sudden expectation that I'd be giving him all of my chips thus far. I don't care about them to begin with but knowing what I know now, it doesn't make sense for me to give him my stash just to fuel his hunt for... a measly legacy advantage... I put myself in a compromising position. I told him that once a host gets back to me on my exact total, I'd be willing to trade him my chips for I guess an allyship going forward. I mean that. I want to work with Joey at least through this vote, but I can't guarantee that it'll go much further than that. He is a very risky person for my game right now because if he's coming off this strong to everybody, it's only going to hurt me by association to stick with him longer than a vote or two. However, I'm going to try and divert the attention and just be like, maybe we need to use my five as a bartering piece for new allies at this point. I want to try and build meaningful partnerships right now, especially since that was the only reason I wanted to make it to the merge.. Rebuilding is crucial as well. Kailyn and possibly Nik/Rachael are not going to be fond of me once we all have "the talk" about last tribal. I put myself in an even more compromising position with them, but I'll find my way out of that mess. I think........ As far as this tribe goes, I think between Joey's WILD imagination/constant over-analyzing and the lack of direction this tribe has taken so far.. I'm doing okay. Nobody is really standing out besides Joey and I guess myself in a way, so if I keep him around it MIGHT even shrink my own target little by little - unless people find out we're together then FUK. 

......five seconds later

In terms of my other relationships right now, I love John Coffey but this is old news, I've been in love with this man since like 2016 and it's fine - totally fine - just fangirling a bit rn since I get to spend more time with him!! woohoo. Xavier and Stephanie are straight up non-entities which makes me SO scared of them especially since Stephanie's won an ORG before... how can someone be so irrelevant yet still win something? Hmm... Makes me think that she's secretly a ninja, you never even see her around. Nik has grown more and more quiet as the days go along and I wonder what's goin' on with that. Maybe they've decided since Biden won the election that moving to New Zealand is a bad idea? Lmfao. I dunno. Nik stresses me the hell out because I have no idea what they're thinking at any point in time even in the off-chance that we are talking. I think I might just have a personality they don't mesh with because I noticed on call forever ago that none of my jokes were particularly landing but Nik had a lot to say and a LOT to joke about there... rip. If it's a personality conflict - go off, I guess. I'll try on a couple different hats w this person to try and see if I can get things to go better than they have been. Kailyn.. like I said before, pretty sure she's after me but I am really trying to sell it to her that I like her a lot, because I do. I literally compare her to my best friend irl because they have very similar attributes and I consider Kailyn kinda messy but fun and quirky like my BFF so I hope that Kailyn did truly appreciate me making that comparison. Ben's inability to do this challenge is going to be his undoing. I think the only acceptable move is to vote him off this time because I HAVE to prove to Kailyn that I can stay the course, and I also need to whittle down Bellagio numbers to prevent people from targeting us and having everything go to shit that way. Let Joey control this, please dear god. Don't let me get blood on my hands. Let Rachael integrate herself well on this tribe. Let someone else blow themselves up in the process. Just not me plz and thanks. There is no fear in my soul tonight. Joey might be a fucking crackhead but so am I. I'm breaking down walls that I didn't think existed but Joey basically told me tonight that he thought I was confrontational, rude, chaotic, and all these other things but was impressed at how calm, optimistic, and outgoing I was. Love to hear it. He might think he overestimated me but he was right about the initial impressions... too bad he won't be around long enough to see that side of me :~) 

FIRSTLY, DeNara was robbed. Okay so I already wrote this a while ago in my host chat about how the fact jake and dan are praying for my downfall because after the swap i am the only og bellagio on a tribe with 5 palazzo and 2 luxor. so after I slowly blinked at my screen for a bit I was like okay how do we survive this if I go to tribal. Because I’m under the impression tribes are gonna stick together especially going into merge but since Luxor is already down so many members it’s kinda Bellagio Vs. Palazzo. but then I was like okay wait I’m the only member of bellagio on this tribe after coming from a tribal so I’m the only one who can say what happened and I can create what narrative I want to help me get through the next couple rounds. Because if I was like oh blah blah I was in majority im so fucked then of course they’re gonna target me to get me out. But if I play the victim card and milk the fact that I voted in the minority acting like I hate my og tribe maybe they’ll think to use me as a pawn. To take down others moving forward. Listen if I have to be labeled a goat to move forward then BAA bitch.

.....five seconds later

Things are going good, because not only am no longer in danger this round but that means Rachael is going to the enemy tribe which if she came to our tribe that might’ve disrupted the narrative I had going of me being against og bellagio. Also DeNara should still be here, don’t think I didn’t clock the fact that Ben scored a 0. I also found out from Andrew that Rachael and Ben are apart of the same Tengaged group which explains why Rachael was so set on Ben staying but like, listen, if I end up in a game with someone I’m friends with, and they’re not active and helping the tribe. Good riddance.

What the. We lost yet again. I have lost everything since the start of the game. It's crazy. There are 4 from Bellagio, 2 Palazzo and 2 Luxor. 2+2 seems like an obvious plan, but it looks like it is falling apart already (read: Joey). Sucks to be across the world, so instead of scheming, I'll be sleeping.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. is the same as I'm sorry Daddy, I've been very naughty. 

The swap did happen. Expected it. Glad we won this first challenge in this new tribe tho in worried for Stephanie and Joey

Vault Shenanigans - Holy shit I did not expect this to be as powerful as it is. I was preparing myself for some sort of payment based search system, but being able to straight up buy the items I want, but its also the same for other people. I had a misconception at how generous the wheel was so I'm probably behind some people with the amount of chips, but I could very well start scooping up some of the steal votes and just say "see ya" to the idols, although getting a super idol would be very wild, it still seems risky to hold out that long to get it, even though there's a great amount of power associated with it. The other issue with a super idol is that I think that its very likely that if I get into a position where I need to use it, that I lose a lot of respect with the jury if it does happen. The only benefit from actually having it would be that I no longer have to worry about someone else whipping it out, so it'd be less for me wanting it, but more for others not having it. As of now, I think my optimal play is to hold on to my chips until around ~40, and then buy both vote steals at once, OR go all out for the super if someone has already bought an idol by that point, because I would be operating under the assumption that the frontrunner is already out of the running. Tribe Swap Shenanigans - This is a hell of a tribe swap. 5-2-1 is always a great spot to be in, I am already good within the 5 that I have so I don't have to worry about anything there, it should be relatively smooth sailing as far as getting to the merge. Mo/Jake are alright so far, neither particularly speak too much. Kevin has not reached out at all, probably will try to talk to him tonight for general purposes, even if he seems like he'd be an easy one to get out first should we go to tribal the next time. But generally I really don't plan on losing so it's kind of a wash. I'll take the smooth sailing, easy path to merge. Premerge is never as relevant as merge is when it comes to FTC as long as you have something to show for yourself at the merge. I've got all game to make my presence known, and I plan on using the entirety of the game to do so.

I feel super anxious today because even though I had a great conversation and built a good connection to Joey, there hasn't been any talk about the vote quite yet. I mean obviously names have rolled out but nothing solid is out there still, I think I just need to let go of the urgency for a name to start being spread early on and just let things be. Stephanie and I have been chatting a bit here and there today so I feel more comfortable with her and hopefully she sees things from a similar perspective as everyone else - the Bellagio foursome needs to get broken up right now. As long as it's not my name of course!!!!! Plz vote Ben @everyone. Or Kailyn tbh save me a little bit of trouble now. Talking to Xavier is SO HARD LMAO. He doesn't immediately contribute information into a conversation and as bad as I wanna get rid of Ben, I almost..almost think going for Xavier is the smarter move, since Xavier doesn't seem too motivated to actually get to know ME and work with me. I'm selfish that way. Kailyn doesn't seem like she wants to do Ben which is a little frustrating but I totally get it, if Ben stays he's going to go after her hardcore but like she needs to actually pitch me an alternative lmfao. I don't wanna go bending over backwards just to appease her right now so if she doesn't gimme a name.. sorry sis but then I think it's gonna be Joey's call on this one :/

I am being very cautious now. The 4 of us (me, John, Joey and Steph) are going to vote together. Now Jaiden wants to vote Nik. And Kailyn wants to vote Ben. Why can't we just agree on one?! And it always has to go down to the wire. Stick together, people!

I think I am possibly leading the charge against Nik rn?? Joey told me he wanted Ben and then I told him I wanted Nik and now he wants Nik LOL take that Stephen 

Okay well I have no idea what's going to happen tonight, but I'm going into tribal not afraid of the vote I am probably going to have to make ... I think the best move is to just vote for Nik and be done with it, but it's going to cause a serious rift in a lot of my relationships if I do so. I've been super wishy-washy to a lot of people I think and right now it doesn't make sense to continuously do one thing when I mean another.. especially since there seems to be zero ground to move upon when it comes to getting the vote to turn from Nik to Ben. Nik doesn't even SEEM ACTIVE?? Why are we making this a bigger deal than it needs to be. Ben can't just walk around deciding what's going on and I think Kailyn would prefer to keep Nik around rather than Ben but it's like... so push for Ben to be the target hun! She's feeding into someone else's move no matter what she does, it's either Ben's agenda or John's agenda. Pick a side, but pick the side I'm on, too. Why don't we just vote for Kailyn tbh. lmao

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 7

More thoughts and live blogged reactions.

1982. I'm assuming Five used a briefcase... But in s1 we saw that the briefcase travels are tracked (Hazel and Cha-Cha got reprimanded for Klaus's Vietnam trip) so I'm not sure how the board doesn't know someone is coming... I might be overthinking.

Five being creepy.

Is that a Fudge Nutter like Handler mentioned in season 1? Oh, it is.

Jesus, Five! Anger management for you, old man.

AAHH! THEY LET FIVE SAY FUCK! Fucking finally! 🤣

How did nobody notice that destruction? 😆

Oh, the axe! Is Five going to go all American psycho? Because I'd love to see that.

HOLY SHIT!

That smile!

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

Is he using tiny time travel bursts like Reggie said? Or a briefcase? Or is he just that fast?

AJ hiding under the table 😆

Pausing to drink water and grin, what a psycho, I love him.

He's definitely using time jumps but they are so controlled that I'm guessing briefcase or Handler little time stopping trick. I'm so proud of my mass murder baby.

... Vending machine? Lady, you have interesting priorities.

CRICKET BAT!

Wait! AJ's human body feels pain? How?

Please make Five swallow the fish like in the comics! Please, please, please, please.

The dancers are just like

I LOVE FIVE! The lengths this little killer will go for his family are unbelievable, nobody should ever doubt his love and devotion for them ever again.

This whole murder scene was incredible and Five's obvious glee made it even better. FEAR HIM!

Jesus, Klaus is so afraid of being possessed that he's afraid to sleep and Ben just mocks him? 😘💋 I get that this is supposed to be a funny 'brothers messing with each other' kind of thing but Klaus feels so unsafe that it makes me uncomfortable. What happened to you, Ben, when did you become so dark? You were the nice one!

Ben just getting closer and closer every time Klaus closes his eyes just gave me Doctor Who flashbacks.

"I hate your face" "I hate all of you" - Don't say that boys! You know you love each other.

Ok, Ben has a point. I'm actually liking this conversation. And I'm liking that Klaus is starting to understand his brother.

Ok, this is such a brother conversation. And Klaus constantly pretending not to know who Jill is 😆

Ground rules... Well, at least it's consensual now. That's something. See? Communication works.

Damn, the tension at the lunch table cut be cut with a knife. I'm scared what Carl is going to do.

Ray and Allison have a lovely relationship but I finally identified the problem, the tension I was feeling between since them a few eps back. It's not about Allison's secrets at all, is about Ray being so obsessed with his crusade that he completely overlooks Allison's feelings, he only pays attention to her when they are on the page about the mission. He sees her powers and his first thought is 'we could use this for the cause', Allison is clearly distressed and sad and even says she doesn't feel well and all he can think about is the damn JFK meeting. He's not a bad person and he's not doing it on purpose but he has a workaholic one-track mind that could easy turn into neglect for Allison. He clearly loves her and I'm rooting for them so much but I know that if asked to choose between Allison and his cause, he'll pick his cause.

So Five is done with the killing. I figured this might weigh on his conscience, it's one thing to kill for a greater good or survival, coldly and detached, it's another thing to slaughter for selfish reasons (even if his selfish reasons are a greater good).

Handler going all mom on him and wiping his face. 😆

"What I did today, I did for my family" -we know, baby, and they better respect you for it. You love then so much.

90 minutes??? Wtf, I knew Handler would try to screw Five over but that's just cruel, she's forcing him to uproot the family without even giving them time to say goodbye and that's even IF he can get to all of them on time.

It's not a name, you idiots. Also, that's Olga, not öga.

Don't harass the poor woman... Oh God, you guys are such morons... Diego, you dramatic little bitch...

"Wrong number. Have a lovely day" 🤣🤣🤣

I love the new dumbass buddy cop dynamic between Diego and Luther. This is the sort of positive brotherly dynamic they always should have had instead of being pitted against each other all their lives.

"you have some blood on you" "a lot of blood, actually. Five, what did you do?" -the casual, mildly annoyed way they ask is hilarious, if they knew what he did they'd be horrified (and possibly impressed).

Handler's militaristic chic dress is fabulous. I personally don't like it very much (or the message it sends) but it's haute couture and incredibly designed. Also, the bleached hair is back!

"any questions?" And then she leaves without listening. Power move 😏

Luther trying to comfort Diego like the dork he is. 🤣

Really though, I feel bad for Diego, and Five is under so much pressure that I don't blame him for snapping.

"I'm shy" -are you, Klaus? Are you really? You keep walking around in underwear in front of dozens of people, you're not shy.

So is Klaus lactose intolerant?

Ok, so far the possession thing is not as bad as some people were claiming. So far.

"stay focused" *giggle* -oh Ben, you dork 😆

Ahah, Ben enjoying all the different sensory stimuli. Adorable. He's just so happy, poor boy.

Dirt angels. SO CUTE ❤️

I know this all supposed to be cute and all but it would also be a perfect moment for Ben for experience Klaus's powers (the constant hauntings) as well as his addiction and the claustrophobic expectations of the cult. It would be an excellent chance to make Ben understand why Klaus is the way he is, seeing as Klaus is making a huge effort (and sacrifice) to do the same for Ben. Unfortunately, I don't see that happening because I think they want to keep this part about Ben.

By end of season 1 Klaus cried that people still didn't take him seriously, his compassion despite all his suffering made him likeable and deep, but this season he's back to being the family joke, I don't like that there's no resolution to that. But let's see where this goes, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Oh God, Carl's talk is freaking me out.

"who I am is not a disease" -very powerful LGBT+ statement considering it's the 60s!!!!

Oh, the blackmail...

Everybody keeps expecting Vanya to explode every time she gets emotional but this scene proves how much control she truly has. Respect!

Oh, finally Claire is mentioned! I've been rather upset that Allison hasn't mentioned her daughter even once this season (does Ray even know he has a stepdaughter?) seeing as most of her arc in season 1 revolved around her love and guilt over Claire.

Luther is right when he says they don't get live formal lives because they are special but Allison is even more right when she says that's not fair. This is why this family needs to stick together and love each other, they are the only ones that can really understand each other's struggles.

"hope" -Luther, you really are such a sweet summer child.

OH! I CAN FINALLY SEE ALLISON'S SCAR! The lighting in this scene makes it really obvious. Finally.

Ben and the strawberry. 🤣

"you're different today. You're dorkier" ah! First time anyone called Ben 'Sassy' Hargreeves dorky.

Oh Ben, you're adorable... Wait, "smell your hair"? What the fuck, Ben? You weirdo.

Holy crap! Jill is really forward, isn't she? Hippies, man.

Ben stuttering! 😆🤣 He died a virgin, didn't he?

It's funny but please tell me he isn't actually considering that in his brother's body...

Wait, did Klaus slap him because he doesn't want to have sex or because he's trying to stop Ben from ruining his own chance by saying too much?

Actually, I'm almost sure it's the second one, Klaus is playing wingman on his own body!

WHAT????

Ok so Ben IS a virgin but "you, me and Keechie"? What the fuck, Klaus? You slept with the fanatical crybaby and your brother's crush????

"Klaus, you're so filthy!" "Yes, you are, daddy." -Ben, this girl is not right for you. Run, boy!

AHAHAHAH ASDFGDDGGHSGSGASFHDBKDIS 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 DIEGO CALLING HIM DADDY!

Wait, AJ can speak without the body/suit/whatever?

Handler is going a little bit fascist dictator, isn't she?

Gotta admit, Handler really is such a mom in her own twisted way.

Ben giggling when he talks to Diego. Cute.

"Luther sniffs Dad's underwear" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

AWWWWWWWW, BEN AND DIEGO! THE CHILDHOOD HIJINKS! THE HUG!

GOD, THE HUG! ❤️

I need all the siblings hugging Ben now!

"you stay in this body, we need someone responsible behind the wheel" -Diego, I understand what you mean given the situation, but you playing obvious favorites between your brothers when free will and body autonomy are on the line is a little creepy.

"no one is insignificant" -that line is so loaded when used on Vanya.

Oh no, Vanya and Five playing the blame game is so bad... They used to be so close... They are both under so much pressure, this won't end well.

Oh boy, Five looks like he's on the verge of crying and Vanya sees that! I bet that's why she backed down. 😲😢

The Lila and Diego conversation is heartbreaking without even trying...

Is that Elliot? Is Diego burying Elliot because nobody else will? Diego really does have a heart of gold.

Don't drinkit! I'm pretty sure Lila is drugging you.

Yup, there it is.

What is she planning?

Once again, it's all about the movement with Ray.

"I would take my one year with you over a lifetime with anybody else." 😭 Oh Ray ❤️

But I get the feeling this won't end so easily.

There it is, the Swedes just arrived. And the smart assholes went right for Allison's throat.

You don't need the coffee can, Sissy. The Hargreeves are loaded.

Sissy, hurry up.

BEN, YOU ARE SUCH A 90s KID!!! So the Backstreet Boys are Ben's fault, God, I love this dork 🤣

Come on, Allison, you can fight better than this!

Good girl!

Klaus and Ben running and fighting each other at the same time 😆

Holy shit, that is some Exorcist level vomiting!

Poor Klaus, I totally get Ben's side in this (pretty sure he was trying to save Klaus by getting him to Five ASAP) but this whole thing made me mildly uncomfortable. Klaus just keeps sacrificing for everyone and nobody respects his boundaries.

Holy shit, Allison! That is so cruel! I like it though, so ruthless and vicious. 😈

Problem- Allison can't just leave Ray with a white corpse in the house. Especially not in Texas, death penalty and all.

Oh Sissy, you dumbass. You're a sweetheart but also a dumbass.

Ok, Lila is pretty insane. That's for sure.

Five:

"I don't want to hurt you" - well, Vanya warned them.

My baby is getting really good with her powers.

I hope that hit to the head doesn't give Vanya her memory back, that's so cliché and convenient, or would be really bad writing.

SHIT IS HITTING THE FAN. I'm dying to see more!!!!!!

[cliquestitsandicks]

Tracking Kat

Episode 1: Kat is mourning the end of her relationship with Adena. It has been 5 weeks since the breakup in Paris. She's still looking at old pictures of them and posted one. She still hasn't sent Adena's equipment to her, even though Adena has been texting her asking for it. By the end of the episode, she's admitted to (in order) Alex, Patrick, and Jane & Sutton that she is not okay. She is still sad about the end of her relationship. Alex tells her "you're so hard on yourself. You got your heart broken. There's no expiration date on heartbreak. You move on when you're ready to move on and when you *are* ready, you will find someone amazing. Someone who will never leave." Then Patrick is an entitled, invasive dick. She told her girls she wasn't ready for it to be real yet and that's why she hadn't told them... but she broke down in front of them. She'd finally accepted it was over. End of the episode, she makes an instagram post exposing her vulnerability to the world and packs up Adena's things for good.

Episode 2: Kat injects Jane for fertility treatment. She is very familiar with Jane's reproductive system at this point - best friends. She learns the Wild Susan, a club Adena took her to that became a safe space she frequents and which happens to be 1 of only TWO lesbian bars in the city, is closing. She learns the only reason it's happening is because developers want to gentrify the neighborhood. We learn Kat has a lawyer (not sure how that may come up later) that she met through the #BeReal campaign. Anyway, Kat throws a queer prom as a fundraiser to help save the Wild Susan. It ultimately fails because $42,000 in one night from poor people is a bit much. But it was a valiant effort and, as Kat learns, the gentrifiers were well aware of its impossibility. This episode is leading up to her political career. "I've been so into my feelings lately, it feels really good to challenge my energy into something that really matters". I am so proud of Kat. In Season 1, I would have worried she was avoiding her feelings, but the writers made a big deal of showing she's done the exact opposite of that in the prior episode.

Episode 3: Kat has been researching councilman Reynolds and he's a total piece of shit - helping gentrifiers, cutting funding to parks, and voting against paid maternity leave. She's fired up. Our girl is P A S S I O N A T E & informed! We meet the councilwoman for whom she plans to volunteer and her campaign manager, Tia. Tia's a tiny, bubbly boss with natural hair and a bright smile and we see Kat brighten up. We later learn she and Kat have more in common, both being NYU grads (actually overlapping while there) and both brilliant. Tia, however, is not from a wealthy and connected background. In their initial meeting, Kat tells Tia "I'm just looking for something to channel my rage and depression". Kat enlists her besties to help get the councilwoman to unseat problematic Reynolds. Sutton clearly sees something between Kat and Tia because she does a friend's background check (checking the social media) and tells Kat she looks very single to which Kat responds "it really doesn't matter because I'm still getting over Adena" and Jane seems skeptical of Kat's protestations with her silent smirk. We learn Kat has really soft lips. Kat is the voice of reason for Alex, being the first one to acknowledge the hypersexual "dangerous" Black man depiction that will likely be projected onto him if he admits he is the man in his friend's story. Then we see her naturally command the crowd at the rally. Again, I am so proud of Kat. She isn't holding back when she knows she should speak up. She's taking control of her narrative. She's fighting for what's right in a constructive manner. And now Tia, who has way more experience with this than Kat, is recommending she run for office.

Episode 4: We start the episode with Kat describing what would be her district and job description to her best friends. She's looking excited about the potential to do something that matters and really help people. In her conversation with the Toby (?. don't know, don't care), we get to see more of Tia being supportive of Kat and Kat being confronted with whether she's motivated to actually run or just wants someone to beat Reynolds. We learn Kat had an abortion in 2013 when she was 20 AS IS HER GOTDAMN RIGHT BECAUSE IT'S HER BODY, but it's something she's felt some sort of shame/concern over seeing as nobody close to her knew about it. Then, and this is so great, after telling her friends she has the conversation with Tia. Tia shares that she's had one as well and completely understands not wanting it to be public knowledge, but in sharing her experience educates Kat on yet another way vulnerable people are having their rights stripped, this time through manipulation and "crisis centers" that shouldn't exist. Tia remains supportive and doesn't pressure Kat at all with her decision. "I am by your side if they come for you, but you gotta do what's right for you". When we get that great speech from Jacqueline we see Kat being moved my the statement that you'll never know what you're capable of if you don't take a leap faith to face challenges that frighten you, then you'll never know what you're capable of. [i'd like to pause right now to say Jacqueline is fucking wonderful and i love her like my white auntie. also Sutton needed to hear that again just as much as Kat and i really appreciate this entire moment.] When Kat leaves Jacqueline's celebration, she passes by one of those "crisis centers" Tia told her about and decides to use her voice to help others. "I like to think of myself as a pretty strong, empowered, forward-thinking, open-minded woman. But, up until now, I haven't been able to talk about my abortion. If me putting myself out there helps even one woman to feel less alone, less ashamed, and less guilty then it's worth it." And just like us, dear Tia is blown away. She actually exhales a breath she didn't know she was holding and biiiiiiiitch (!!!! excitedly). and then they're dancing! This is the episode, upon rewatch, when i recognize how often Tia touches Kat unnecessarily.

Episode 5: Kat's entire recap includes Tia, ending with Sutton saying "she seems to be very single". Her very first scene, Tia is complimenting her walking out of some campaigning event we later learn was a Town Hall. Can we just talk about Kat's blazer for a second? First of all, i want it. Second, how did they find something so perfectly her? It's colorful but still semi-professional, fun, but still about her business. Heart-eye inducing. ok. So the next time we see Kat, she and Tia (whose last name they finally mention as Clayton) are reviewing campaign platform and doing debate prep at Kat's apartment. Tia's complimenting Kat almost continuously at this point. Clearly she's impressed, borderline gushing. and Kat tries to brush it off. Tia's not letting her. And there's this moment when Tia forces herself to break eye contact with her (around 5:40 of the episode). The show tells us Kat still hasn't dated since Adena, but Sutton brings up the "stupid smile" she gets whenever Tia's mentioned. She's making better decisions than Patrick and her being compared to Patrick is lowkey happening a lot. I'm starting to wonder if they're setting up Kat taking over digital if she doesn't win the campaign. Ok, the song choice as they pan to Kat and Tia... "I never normally check my phone 10 times in a minute. I'm not the girl to be kept on hold 10 miles from the finish." Again, Tia is very touchy with Kat, never anything inappropriate of course, but the hand is always on the back or the arm. and their interaction is just.. lovely. I squeal. it's so cute. they're so comfortable. Kat invites Tia to the dinner BEFORE (i got the timing on that mixed up before) Tia says she's "a boring straight girl" [the test determined that was a LIE... nah, my good sis Tia is dealing with some internalized homophobia which is no joking matter, but we don't learn that until the next episode]. Apparently, Kat can cook now? So she just liked Adena's food better i guess? idk... anyway. I get why some of the things Tia said can be taken as flirting, but i still believe that you accept what someone says is their sexuality until they say otherwise. yes, that's even when they're saying things like "when i see what i want, i go for it" and "Annndd she can cook. it's hot" and looking at you like that. Kat telling Jane to apologize because he's her boss and she got suuuper disrespectful and would absolutely deserve getting fired makes me proud. She's the mature friend now. She's the one with a level head on her shoulders. Kat finally makes her feelings known to Tia, but this is after Tia has already stated she's straight. Tia reiterates that this is a professional relationship and apologizes for Kat getting the wrong idea. I'm reminded of when Alex Danvers told Maggie Sawyer she was into her and she was rejected... but in that example i was floored and heartbroken for Alex because ugh, i just didn't see that coming. With this, however, it felt like Tia was clear in her words even if it shocked the hell out of me what the words were. So i didn't feel heartbroken for Kat. I thought... tbh... she brought it on herself for refusing to respect Tia's "no", however soft it was. But the writers did let us know it wasn't over with the music selection... Kat looking at "You and Tia make a great team :)" as "I'll go to war for you" plays.

Episode 6: All the emails have been released and Kat has no worries at all about that because she's a professional. And we get to see her be a boss addressing the entire group. Patrick isn't there this episode (YAY for our sanity!) and i think Kat being a boss so often when Patrick isn't around is intentional. When we see Tia, she says last night is forgotten but she thinks it's a bad idea to remain Kat's campaign manager... which is clearly a hard rejection. One can argue that it's too harsh for someone merely admitting they were into you. But it's just as easy to argue that it's appropriate after telling someone, very clearly, that you are not into them romantically and them ignoring that and saying that you were flirting with them on this date they never called a date before you were already there?? so i'm not mad at it. At the end of the episode, we find out that Tia was rejecting herself, not Kat. Turns out, Ms. Tia Clayton has known she's attracted to women since she was in high school, but she "didn't want to want it". Tia is so TINY AND ANXIOUS ABOUT HER SEXUALITY AND MANY OF US HAVE BEEN THERE. But... and i say this in jest... for someone who is really trying not to be out in the open with her gay, she sure was comfortable kissing Kat all outdoors for anyone to see. My good sis is smitten. I'm excited for the story. Again with the music during their scenes though... "I cannot fallll in love with youuuuu. I cannot feeeeel this way so soon, so soon." Also, my girlfriend and I have watched the gifset of the kiss over the phone and swooned (we live in different states for now). This episode, we also got the flashbacks (i missed Lauren so much). Kat's got red streaks in her hair, is a friend to strangers, has regrettable sex with men who taste like pickles, and is cute as a button. She also called Jacqueline "Mama Jackie" and that's it; that's her name now.

[coille-sunmane]

Just finished Banana Fish. I enjoyed it so much, and want to share my thoughts and avoid spoilers to the best of my ability. I literally just finished the last episode and am kinda emotional, so hopefully this makes sense.

The main character's name is Ash. He is a 17 yr old leader of a street gang in New York. The main thrust of the story is him trying to discover who or what Banana Fish is after his brother came back from Iraq wounded, mumbling Banana Fish and having nightmares after killing many of his squad members.

The other half is focused on his relationships and recovering from the extreme hardships of his life so far. I don't have way to really make this seem as important as it actually is since it gets summed up so quickly. While half of the story and drama is around the mystery of Banana Fish, the whole other half of the motivating drama is character dynamics and relationships.

On that note, I wanna get into some stuff that might be a strong barrier of entry for some people, which is totally understandable. The show is not to explicit when it comes to violence. Most people that die are shot, there is blood but it's not too over done, and there's no gore. With that said, child sexual abuse and trafficking is mentioned often as it is an aspect of Ash's backstory, and a part of the many criminal enterprises that act as villains for the show. Nothing sexually explicit is show, but some scenes make it very clear what is happening or has happened, and there are some magazines and video that appear but are highly obscured, but again, you can easily infer what they are. If that is a barrier for entry you don't want to cross, that is completely understandable and you should take that into consideration. I feel like the show never trivialities these matters, but ultimately, that isn't for me to decide.

A couple final critiques. Ash is like way overpowered. The show has no supernatural elements, but Ash is a master marksman, is basically a genius, breaks himself out of trouble basically on is own or even in spite of his would be rescuers attempts. He isn't invisible, and is hurt often, so there is some feeling of balance, but there were times where I was wondering what this character couldn't do. With that said, a better counter balance is that he isn't mentally healthy in the slightest and that's where his character development lies. And for the second one, while Ash and Eiji (the other protagonist) have a very clearly queer relationship, and I think (again from not really being the best to speak on it) the race representation is rather good, there are a grand total of like 3 women in the story, 1 of which is only in a flashback, where she dies, and of the other two, only one survives the series. She is a badass and I love her, but I wanted to mention that the show isn't the strongest for women narratively. Oh, one thing about the technical end of the show. It is only available on Amazon Prime Video, and the end of one of the episodes ends up having a long conversation go unsubtitled because they fucked up something to do with the "watch next episode" feature which caused the subtitles to not run for what seemed like an important conversation. So be aware of that.

Like I said before, I really liked this show. I am hesitant to say love only because of some of the narrative hang ups above, but it would probably be fair to say I loved it regardless. As you may be able to infer from what I've said above, it's not a happy show necessarily. It's not Devilman Crybaby or Berserk by any means, but it is still sad, or bittersweet, I suppose. I plan on doing some digging to see if I can find some actual worthwhile reviews to see if I can get a better idea of some of the symbolism as well. Check it out if it sounds interesting, keeping in mind that some of the subject matter is difficult to say the least.

[glassesandkim]

imma just ask this real quick because it's starting to seriously turn me off this fandom but since when have some of ya'll come to the consensus that nico is forever the victim, forever the martyr and any and all fuck ups (past and future) in their relationship is gonna be a fuck up on levi's part? i've seen a post today speculating and it deadass even attributed traits and behaviours that nico has had to levi. avoidance, running from conflict and jumping to conclusion (1/2)

seriously when will some people in this fandom be done villifying levi and/or cutting him no slack whatsoever for his mistakes even though it's his first serious relationship? this fandom has this tendency of not only ignoring nico's problematic behaviours but whenever someone criticizes him it's automatically hate. (2/2)

((((Some of you who send me asks will know that I don’t answer every ask, even prompts. Why? Because sometimes I don’t know what to say or don’t think what I’m going to say addresses the ask well. So anon, I’ve answered your ask below but I realized I totally went on a tangent and maybe your ask actually isn’t talking about what I ended up talking about. Oops! But I think what I said below might be important to some of you so I’ll publish my answer anyway. ))))

Hi there! Thanks for your message. I see it and I acknowledge it and I can understand where you’re coming from. I just haven’t seen the post you’re referencing today or even lately (or maybe I have and I didn’t associate it as a post that’s putting Levi in a bad light). And I can’t speak on behalf of others in the fandom, only myself. 

Going forward, I’ve said in an ask from the past that you can definitely be critical of a character and still be a fan of them. You can also be critical of a show and still be a fan of it. Nothing’s perfect. I don’t think Grey’s or anyone has the capacity to produce a “perfect” character or show anyway. Someone will always be disappointed. And I think it’s good and important to be critical and aware of the problems a show/character/person might have so that others can understand and be aware of it too. 

So being critical =/= hate. I hope y’all know that and respect that. (There’s also this whole other thing about being constructively critical and appropriately critical but I’m not going to get into that lol.)

Idk, I got an ask a few weeks ago asking if I hate Levi and I felt like it came out of no where. I can only assume something I said about Levi was lost in translation. It felt like it came out of no where because I hardly really talk about Levi’s character on this blog or directly call him out on anything. Because I definitely project more of my ideas onto Nico’s character because of a variety of reasons (he’s not been as developed as a character compared to Levi, he’s Asian - I’m Asian, etc.). But I have also criticized his character in the past for how he reacted in the elevator and others have chimed in with their own opinions on why he would react like that. And that’s fine. It’s why I participate in fandom. I like to know what people think. I don’t always agree but it’s interesting. 

This might sound dismissive and harsh and you might not agree with me, but I often think to myself that this is just a tv show. Yes, I have been very outspoken about Nico’s character in the past and yes, I am emotionally invested in this show and have gotten emotional/worked up over something that has happened. But I also take the time to remind myself that this is just that: a show. Doesn’t mean it can’t be important to me but it’s NOT okay if it’s causing me grief or putting me in an unhealthy state of mind. 

I’ve seen some of you in the fandom and on this site in general (and I’ve been on this site since I was 19 and I’m 27 now) being disappointed/sad/angry at things happening in fandom. That’s okay. But it’s also not great. You know what I mean? It’s okay that you feel this way but it’s maybe not so great, for example, if your mood or well-being becomes dependent on schmico’s fate. 

I don’t want to give you guys advice on how to handle that because we all do things our own way. But please, take care of yourself first. You are more important than what’s happening on a tv show or in a fandom. 

[houses-of-healing]

(pt 1) Hey Bofur, it's Cheeky here! I don't actually think I've written in in 3 years or so... anyway it's been a while. I wanted to drop by partly to say I'm okay, I finally got to move back home, I brought a house, I got married, things are pretty good. But I have also been struggling these past few weeks. My anxiety and depression have been a lot worse due to things happening in work and just before Christmas/New year I was diagnosed with PTSD. I'll be undergoing trauma therapy (cont)

(cheeky pt 2) Soon and I’m really very scared, it will probably get worse before it gets better but I know in the long run this will help me. I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago too whilst at work and whilst I do not know if I ever want children, certainly not now… It still heart a lot that I felt I couldn’t even do that right… I think maybe I must have told you just under 3 years ago about the real cause of mum’s death, she committed suicide…. after the miscarriage I went to her (cont)(Cheeky pt3) grave and felt angry for the first time which helped. I’m just a little scared and alone, work has left me feeling very isolated recently and I feel like i’m always on the verge of something terrible happening because of my mental health. I do have two really good friends but am worried one will be sitting away from me soon (the other already is) and I fear separation anxiety. We’ve talked it through and I know nothing in our friendship will change, they’ll always be there :) (cont)(Cheeky pt 4) for me and we can chat all the time. But I’m just a little afraid and don’t have many places to turn. Coping mechanisms weren’t working like they used to, I remembered this place was a great coping mechanism, that you’d said you’d always be here for me and hold my hand if I needed it. I feel perhaps I relied on you too much in the past and it’s why I stepped away, but to get me through this rough patch I’m asking to speak to an old friend. Love Cheeky(pt 5 Cheeky) Dearest Bofur, my apologies, I realise I did write in about a year ago! My sense of time is appalling, but either way it has been too long! Re-reading some old messages has certainly made me feel better for now, thank you for all you do. I hope you are well :)

Friend Cheeky, it’s been a very long time since we’ve heard from you!!! 

Congratulations on the marriage--I hope it is a long and blissful one. There’s certainly a lot to address here, but I want to tell you first and foremost congratulations. 

You’re allowed to rely on others when you need help--and you are certainly allowed and welcome to rely on us when you need to! We are here to help folks heal, after all. :) 

I’m very, truly sorry about your miscarriage. Unfortunately as a male dwarf, I’m not very well-versed in human women, uh, reproductive bits, but I can understand that it’s a very hard situation to process, whether or not you were hoping to carry a child. You can view it as a loss--not of a life, per say, but of a missed chance at being a mother/caretaker. Let yourself grieve over this, be angry, be sad--go through all five stages of grief and then some! But let yourself have time to process this event--and eventually accept it. Whether or not you want to have a child is totally your responsibility, of course--but this event doesn’t shut the gates on having children. It’s only a missed opportunity--whereas I think human women have definitely more than a few chances at pregnancy. 

It is normal for your mental illnesses to “flare up” during stressful times of life. But you’re taking the right steps to get through this. I’m unsure of where you’re at right now, since I’ve no idea when you sent this in! (It looks like it’s been a long while though...) 

I would suggest continuing therapy, but mention how you’re facing some difficulties with isolation at work, feeling separation anxiety and loneliness in your personal life, as well. I would start up a hobby, if you can! I know that’s some cliche advice, but it’s helpful. You start to make friends that way, too. For example, volunteering at the library because you love reading can make you find new friends who love reading books just as much as you do! 

If it helps you a bit, you can pretend that we’re there with you, when you’re doing things that make you very anxious--or when you’re feeling at your worst. Remember that we’re with you! Bofur is there with you, with his silly flappy hat, lass! (Lad!) (Friend!)

Come in and check in sometime, Cheeky. We are glad to hear from you, any time any day, any emotion!

Your friend always,

Bofur